#its not big for a reason' yes the reason is cowardice

[vulturereyy]

i deleted this ask after screenshotting bc i didnt want to even give this the time of day but this is objectively the funniest anon hate i think ive ever gotten. i am holding this person in particular alone at gunpoint to see gay old man bugs. have u ever heard of muting tags and blocking people. you come to the lurimol coiner's blog and ask me to not post lurimol. death by 1 thousand suns blast

in conclusion, thanks to @salthien:

[sqgeism]

Hi! I hope you're doing well!

I have a bit of a specific Anaxa request: we all know this guy is prickly like a cactus, and probably wouldnt show any kind of physical affection/be overly affectionate whatsoever. maybe the reader can be lightly airing all their frustrations to an unsuspecting dromas/chimera they stumbled upon, and anaxa happens to walk right by when they say "I don't know why he feels he needs to keep me at an arm's length, in the end, all i want is to be loved; and i wish the same for him."

I just feel like that sentence would make anaxa flabberghasted and make him rethink some things.

ty for reading!!

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 | anaxagoras x gender neutral reader

💌 — ; as tipsy as a boat on unforgiving seas, you rant your heartaches to a cute, clueless chimera. (that weirdly looks like your boyfriend) not knowing that the very man stands behind you, listening to you pour out every feeling he'd never want to subject you to.

love mail — say yes to me. i haven't done an event in a while, would people be interested in that (*ﾟーﾟ)? sigh finally anaxagoras solo post without the other two added LMAO this guy is so popular on my account its kind of insane. thank u anaxa... for reviving sqgeism in the big 25.. i thought this was long but it's acc kind if short forgive me anonnie LMAO

for all the good moments in your relationship with anaxagoras, there were still bad. and the bad.. could get really awful very quickly.

even if he was growing to be careful, changing, being better, he still had his 'demise'— as he called it. he was set on a mission long before you, and you've accepted that. it didn't mean that it didn't hurt when you knew he was trying to keep you away, though he says it's to keep you safe, you knew it was for another reason.

anaxagoras wasn't—for all his genius as a scholar and a teacher—very good at things that involved vulnerability. it was something he'd ripped out of his cold, dead heart, leaving it whatever remaining feelings he had left to rot. clearly not enough, he'd remark, if he could still feel it beat every time you came close. fingers brushing over his own, lips getting too close for comfort, despite being together—he was still afraid. very.. very afraid.

but you weren't angry at him for being so, how could you? for all the hurt he's faced, the terrors that follow him like his shadow, you just can't. but you feel neglected, left to freeze in an unforgiving winter. you craved warmth, but no flame could thaw your loneliness.

and so when anaxagoras, once again, locks himself in his lab for aeon's know how long.. you're off. you had the control to at least leave a note where you're going; a bar close by to let loose. but you clumsily throw it on the nearest table and walk out. the tears were becoming overwhelming, and you just needed to cry. it felt cruel to be mad, but your heart knew what it wanted. it wanted someone badly, drawn to a rose with far too sharp of thorns. but you didn't care. you knew it was a part of him, and you chose him regardless. you wonder if he knows that he's loved, and how much he truly is.

and he does. in a way that overwhelms him, that makes him be the way he is. he knows you care, and that's why when he leaves his study hours earlier, the note unseen by his sharp gaze, he panics. you're not in bed, nor the living room, you're not home. thunder claps break him out of his thoughts, and he realizes you could be out there, in the rain, for who knows how long.

he runs out without hesitation.

doesn't care if he's soaking wet, or his students that may see their half-gone professor running through amphoreus in the rain, he's afraid. for once, his cowardice it isn't of the idea of you, but losing you. he's beginning to realize that there will be something worse than his fears destroying him.

it's having you slip away from his grasp.

he's afraid of affection because he might lose you. he's afraid of everything about loving you because he might lose you. he's lost so much, it scarred him. that the closest thing to paradise surely should have been an illusion, that it was all just a ploy to put him back together and break him apart all over again. he thought it was stupid, the obvious plan set by the 'gods'.

but he was just in love, so very in love. and it could never be stupid if the center of his affection was you.

and there you are, thank goodness. you're laying against an elevated tile as you're on the floor, arms on the said tile, and underneath the bars cover as a chimera sits by your head. you're clearly drunk, cause even if his heels splashed against the puddles towards you, failing to notice. gaze fixed on the little creature as he hears you speak.

"i just don't.. understand." you slurred, your face pressed against your arms as the chimera chirps. i don't know.. why" hic "he feels he needs to keep me at an arm's length.. in the end, all i want is to be loved; and i wish the same for him."

you don't even know what those words do to him. a man of many words, brought to silence. you look like a fae in the moonlight, ethereal and breathtaking. and anaxa's sopping wet in the rain, refusing to be under the bars covers as he feels he doesn't deserve it. the harsh weather prickles his skin, but he feels nothing. nothing but the cruel twist of a dagger through his heart.

he falls to his knees, the water around him makes a large splash as you turn your head. in your dazed state, your eyes don't recognize him, but your heart does. and you move without even realizing. "anaxagoras, my love?" he feels something cover his head, and he looks up to see you fussing and using your jacket to shield him from the rain. even if you were frustrated, venting about him, you still had the heart to worry. you still tried to help him, and he's such a fool to only appreciate that now. "what did i tell you about calling me that? to you, i'm anaxa. stop.. stop forgetting."

he doesn't know what to say, and he's thankful for the conditions so you don't see the way he starts to cry. his lips are trembling as his hand slowly stops yours, guiding it to his cheek and leaning into your palm. it isn't flowery words, he's bad at anything that isn't statistical or academic, but it's a gesture of something more. "i.. i'm so sorry." he muttered sorrowfully. "i've been taking you for granted. i didn't mean to, but i did. and that's unforgiveable. you don't deserve this life, and i—"

you cut him off by pulling him in, away from the world, under the shelter and into your arms. you two probably look silly, two influential figures in your own ways in amphoreus, snuggling up outside a bar in the rain. but anaxa has long discarded the idea of caring of others opinions, all he can focus on is how your heart begins to race. like you're as startled as he is. that he isn't alone in taking this leap. and for once, he's okay with that. having someone.. to truly take care of.

you wake up in bed the next morning, your head painful and your throat dry, but you're warm. and that's when you notice anaxa behind you, arms wrapped around you securely and his head partially buried in your hair. he's.. fast asleep. which is a first, you can't remember the last time he chose the bed rather than his office chair.

but you don't complain, aeon's, how could you?

you choose to fall back into the gentle hands of slumber, looking forward to waking up next to anaxa.

[mynameisnot-carl]

WDJSKOWKW😭😭😭😭 (thoughts about one piece episodes 233-234)

Dude I'm not even done with episode 234 but I'm stimming sm rn I just had to talk abt this

So to set the scene: Nami, Ussop, and Luffy are all in water 7 hoping to get the merry fixed with the money they got from skypeia, and ussop is the one holding the money. The Franky family kidnaps ussop and takes the money, which leaves nami and luffy to split up and nami to find ussop.

Yk how you don't really notice someone getting taller if you see them everyday, but if you go look at old pictures or haven't seen them in a while it's like "woaahhh dude you got so big!!"

That's how I feel about one piece character development. Maybe it's bc of the pacing and length of the show or maybe bc it's done more subtly then modern shows but like

There was an anime filler arc abt some mf who steals memories and the gang got reverted to their prior selves before going on their adventure and it was really cool to see the dynamics of the crew like that

Nami being untrusting and focused on money was expected bc she's basically still like that but with luffy and her crew as the exception to the rule. And even down to the way the characters talked there was some fun call backs like luffy calling his hat his treasure which to my knowledge he hadn't said since back in orange town when the episode numbers were still in the 2 digits (cries)

Ussop was fsr more annoying then normal however, mostly bc of his excessive lying. I didn't like him at first, but over time he just sort of got better and I could quite figure out why. Until in this arc when I realized that ussop lies less over time. I mean yes lying is still a big part of his character yk but like he only rlly does it when nessisary/its a fitting moment now which makes him a lot more sympathetic. I wish he had a worse origin then having a deadbeat dad and dead mom tho lol

Anyway all this to say he is still a coward (but now much more reasonably so and does put up a fight when he has too) and still a liar but slowly over time it gets less so and he becomes more responsible and even becomes a temporary shipright of sorts like how vivi was a sort of doctor before chopper (MY GOAT)

So we see ussop beat up and bloody after the Franky family takes the skypeia money and nami rushes to him asking him to wake up, asking if the Franky family did this

Her face seems really concerned and frustrated that someone did this to him, emotions we pretty much haven't seen from her in the series up until now, ussop let's out a few shakey breaths before awnsering "yeah. because I'm weak. They- they took all the money..."

He begins to cry and the voice acting is seriously superb at showing these emotions and he continues "Nami, how will I face the others?! We were about to have the merry reparied!! I'm so ashamed.. damnit!"

Heartbreaking scene but also it really shows the level of character development ussop has gone through. He's always one of the most shameless characters in this show, I mean half his character is lying and cowardice you can't get much more shameless then that. And to see him be ashamed like that is so like holy shit wtf sjsosjdjdir

AND THEN

Nami reassures him that it's okay and she understands him and that they'll get the money back. And I'm just fucking blown away at how far they've come. Her whole thing in the east blue is money and her own skin over everyone and everything else, and for her to be so much more concerned with ussops safety and health then the money is so fucking sick dude. She's actually come so far dude from pirate theif to pirate im going to cry 😭😭😭😭

Oh also in skypeia Enel basically gave her the same opertunity arlong did of sticking with a super powerful evil dude until the time comes when she can leave/double cross him but she actively chose to fight even without knowing sanji and ussop were coming to save her, showing how she's moved passed that tattoo on her shoulder that represents survival as her number one priority and how she's part of something bigger then herself now and all of this without even MENTIONING Arlong like say I'm reading into it too much but I'm telling you the subtle subtext goes FUCKING CRAZY IN THIS GODAMN SHOW ABOUT PIRATES AAAAAAAAAJEKDJROEJDJD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭ITS SO PEAK

[markerofthemidnight]

i very kindly request headcanons for the alephs. one or all of them i dont care im very hyperfixated rn and need food

I’ll give you the two ALEPHs in my facility in-game as a way to let go of my rage! (I’m on Hod’s suppression and they FUCKING WON’T STOP MELTING DOWN)

CENSORED

Its true name is The Living Clot. It’s a mass of partially-dried, sapient blood that can turn any biological matter it touches into smaller versions of itself, so long as its owner is unconscious.

Its whole existence is defined by the hate and envy it feels for the creatures that have proper bodies, that can feel, and can live. It won’t stop until everything knows its pain.

Which, yes, was inspired by AM from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, just in case you were wondering.

Though on that note, The Living Clot most certainly has mouths. Many mouths, and it can’t just scream- it can speak too, though with great difficulty, and it never says anything longer than a few syllables.

Times where it chooses to speak to Agents are rare, and they’re usually just concise death threats before it falls quiet again.

The reason why it’s classified as a Religious Abnormality (-03) is because it’s also technically a demon. Don’t ask me how.

A proper EGO Suit for The Living Clot actually was made, but since it was literally made of dried blood, nobody dared to wear it. As such, it forever remains untouched in… whichever corner of the facility such a thing can be safely and sanitarily kept in.

Its EGO Weapon is… you know what, I have no clue how to describe exactly what it is, but… it’s kind of like a harpoon?

Its EGO Gift gives the receiver bloodshot eyes with red, tear-like marks dripping down from them.

Nothing There

As a matter of fact, it only kills people in order to learn their anatomy. It knows its bad grasp on human anatomy is the biggest thing stopping it from blending in, and it wants to fix that.

If it got good enough at it, it would probably fit in perfectly as a 2-3 year old, but the idea that it would ever encounter one in the Corporation is more than unlikely.

Leaning into that, Attachment Work with Nothing There typically consists of teaching it new words and showing it pictures of humans in their natural environment…

…though all the humans it’s shown are either edited images of mutilated corpses or intentionally bad AI-generated pictures, since the company can’t risk it getting that good at mimicking people.

There’s no doubt among the employees that Nothing There is probably smart enough to know that it’s being fooled, but it still plays nice anyways, so they continue doing it.

Instinct Work, on the other hand, consists with it being fed the organs of dismembered employees. Each organ must be fed separately, so it doesn’t recognise them as human ones.

Despite that precaution, it’s suspected that it still knows where its food comes from, and that’s why its attempts at human disguises look so… awful.

Even though it’s probably smarter than most people think, employees are still advised to stand their ground whilst they watch it eat, or their cowardice might lead Nothing There to think that they are a part of its meal.

The metallic-looking parts of its EGO Weapon are actually bone, or at least more structurally similar to bone than they are to metal.

It presents Agents with its EGO weapon by kind of… licking their face with the big, sticky, tentacle-y flesh appendage that it thinks of as a tongue.

That turns their cheek a gruesome, pale red, and eventually eyes grow out of the mass. A few days after proper metamorphosis, Agents start to get vision in the extra eyes.

Many an Agent has requested to get their cheeks cut off just to rid themselves of the painful sensation of the eyes growing in, and the even more disorienting experience of being able to see out of them a few days later. These requests are always turned down as soon as they’re made.

[howlingday]

Would the Imperium of Man execute Ironwood for trying to run from Salem?

I'm not an expert on Warhammer, so I'm not really the best person to ask on matters of the Grimdark universe. However, I will answer this to the best of my knowledge and ability.

I tried to find an answer on Google, but I couldn't find a specific answer to this question, which was "does the imperium punish cowardice?" The most obvious answer to this is "Yes" and that's usually by the blade of bullet of the Commissar, whose entire job in the Imperium is to execute cowards as a deterrent of treason and to instill good order and discipline among the guardsmen they are tasked to guide. Kinda like a drill instructor on the battlefield who will put a bullet in you if they get a whiff of anything less than proper soldier behavior.

However, this scenario is very... unique, and complex in a way that goes beyond simple cowardice. See, General James Ironwood, whatever his intentions may have been, was trying to help Atlas by keeping himself, the city, its people, AND the relic out of Salem's reach. So, yes, while he is essentially running away from the threat of the Grimm, it can also be observed as a tactical withdrawal to prevent even worse casualties, or the fall of Remnant.

Again, I'm not an expert. The better people to ask Warhammer questions would be @the-wayward-arc or @weatherman667 , though I also asked my buddies in the Discord their thoughts on the matter, and they responded with similar answers, saying either Ironwood would have been shot OR wouldn't have due to the tactical reasoning for his retreat. One response was, "If you're throwing Ironwood into the 40K universe, he would have tried to get an Exterminatus on Salem." Take that as you will.

And because I'm still trying to figure out the difference between a laspistol and a lichtor (hint: only one of them MIGHT kill ya), I also asked my buddies IRL, who have been in this nightmare of a universe since they were kids. I described to them this scenario,

"There's this general, and his kingdom is about to be destroyed AND the only thing that could stop the Big Bad from destroying everything. Would he be executed in the 40K universe for cowardice?"

The first guy's response,

"If it's a general, he's never seeing the light of day again. The Inquistors would send a guy to torture him to death, and the Imperium would send their guard to overthrow and replace him. And since he's not only acting in cowardice, but he's also sacrificing ammunition resources to the threat, he might be be turned into a servitor as punishment."

My other buddy said,

"It's hard to say in the setting of the 41st millennium. Funny enough, there's actually a similar scenario in the Siege of Terra where a Captain is ordered to move sky plates to block orbital fire, which saved a bunch of ground forces and civilians, but at the cost of their flying fortress that Dorn needed to protect Terra as a contingency plan. An atrocity of 100% casualties may be considered a success if the objective was achieved. A cleric was given a position in the Inquistors because he made the mistake of not reporting an error, then lying that the mistake was an indication of heresy, which it was. Actions as you see them now could be condemned or praised in the future, but you won't know in the now."

The second buddy then proceeded to drop the biggest lore bomb I've ever heard from the recent finale of the Siege of Terra series. But I won't spoil it here.

Was Ironwood a coward? Would he have been punished? What WH foe is equivalent to the Grimm? I have no idea, BUT what I do know is that I appreciate you coning to me with these fascinating questions.

Until next time,

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

[somereaderinblue]

MSM 2017 Roleswap AU

We’ve got no shortage of Spider Gwen content so Imma do my own thing & provide some Spider!Harry content. 

(Yes, this is set in MSM 2017 bcz I’m biased. Also, it has the best Parksborn.)

Mostly angst & hurt/comfort from Harry’s POV. Can also be read on AO3.

___________________________

Harry is in his dad’s company building. He already knows the place but he’s mostly there to spend time with the person who knows him most. 

There’s a bite. He barely notices the inflamed skin before the nausea overtakes. He knocks a door off its hinges, his body burns, his hands stick to everything- his feet are stuck to the ceiling, he’s walking on the ceiling like it’s nothing.

He experiments. He’s stronger, faster, sharper, and he loves it.....but it’s lonely. Norman doesn’t notice the items he accidentally breaks, never even bothered to ask if he felt okay after the bout of sickness from the field trip. He doesn’t notice and doesn’t care. 

Harry tells himself it’s normal, he doesn’t need his attention, he’s a busy man....but god, he craves some validation. It didn’t matter who it came from, he just wanted a taste of it. 

He goes over to the Parkers but even Aunt May’s sandwiches & Uncle Ben’s warmth can’t erase the hollow pit in his stomach. Peter tries to cheer him up with TV cartoons they binged when they were kids. Instead, a wrestling channel comes on. 

Harry hears the crowd cheering and he sees the award money.

He sees an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

And well, Osborns were nothing if opportunistic.

Peter & Ben notice his excitement. Harry vaguely says he has something big planned.

Peter wishes him luck, Ben reminds him with great power comes great responsibility.

All Harry could think about was how with great power comes great reward if properly used.

___________________________

Harry is humiliated and so very angry. Sure, he won but only after getting his ass thrown around. Still, it’s not the bruises that ache, it’s his pride. At how callously the man cheated him out of the prize money, offering a measly $50 to rub salt into the wound. He’d wanted to give the money to Peter, maybe buy him something nice. There goes that plan.....

Yeah, he lets the thief go. Oh, he stole the prize money? Boo-hoo, that’s not Harry’s problem, is it? Serves the asshole right.

Then he sees Uncle Ben with a bullet in his chest. 

Harry washes his hands until his skin is raw but Ben’s blood perpetually stains his nails. He doesn’t go to the Parkers' house because the image of their heartbroken grief was still hauntingly vivid in his memory.

Instead, he puts his brains and money to use, tracking down the murderer to make him pay, make him hurt, make him bleed, it’s only right-

He sees the culprit’s face and Harry has to live with the fact that although he never pulled the trigger, he may as well have shoved Uncle Ben in front of a firing gun.

___________________________

Peter loves Spiderman.

He gushes over his powers & gear; hell he tries to make his own goddamn webshooters. Peter supports Spiderman & sees him as a symbol of hope.

Harry doesn’t share the sentiment. Peter assumes he hates Spiderman and well...he’s not too far off, is he?

Harry does hate Spiderman. 

He hates himself. 

Hates how he did nothing that night; hates how it took losing Uncle Ben, the only positive father figure he had, to wake him up; hates how it took making all the Parkers suffer from his inaction to truly push him to be better not for his father’s approval but to atone.

But what he hates most isn’t even his inability to tell Peter his greatest secret; it’s his cowardice to confess his biggest sin.

That he’s the reason Uncle Ben was buried with a bullet in his chest.

Would Peter still admire Spiderman if he knew?

Would he still love Harry?

He doesn’t find out. He doesn’t want to and he hate hate hates himself for it.

___________________________

Miles gains powers. He wants Spiderman to mentor him and fuck, Harry avoids that like the plague.

Miles is disappointed. 

Good, he should be (because that’s all Harry will ever be).

___________________________

Eventually, he tells Peter. If he can’t tell the boy he loves him, he can at least tell him why he shouldn’t love Harry.

Peter is furious. Harry doesn’t blame him. 

.

.

.

Peter forgives him. Harry doesn’t believe him.

But this is Peter-can’t bullshit to save my life-Parker. No, it’s Peter-always sees the good in others-Parker. It’s Peter, the boy who’s always been there for Harry not because he’s an Osborn but in spite of it.

(Norman made him abandon fairy tale whimsies a long time ago but god, if soulmates were a thing, Harry dared believe that’s what he & Peter were.)

Peter doesn’t hold his hand, but he squeezes it before he faces Aunt May.

He confesses that he was there. That he let the culprit get away. That, at the time, he hadn’t cared until it was too late.

He had braced himself for a slap.

Instead, she hugs him and his ears ring not from screams but from thanks.

She thanked him for making sure Ben didn’t die alone. Thanked him because even in his last moments, at least one of his nephews could be by his side.

Aunt May: I think it’s time you took responsibility for your own guilt, sweetheart.

Harry: You forgive me?

Aunt May: There’s nothing to forgive.

Forgiveness doesn’t make the guilt go away. But for the first time, he managed to stay afloat without having to wear a mask or swinging on webs.

___________________________

Harry still puts on the mask. After a while, he talks to Spy-D. Instead of mentorship, he offers something better: partnership.

Peter offers his help because of course he would. He’s their guy in the chair and wow, he does a spectacular job. 

(Peter offers him a kiss, hair wild from dangling on a fire escape in a humorous imitation of Harry's abilities, because of course he would.)

(He's Harry's boyfriend and wow, he does a spectacular job reminding Harry that despite all the fighting, there are things worth living for.)

At some point, Norman burns the bridge between them. Harry’s hurt in ways he’ll never fully heal from but he’s not broken.

He’s not alone.

He has Peter, Miles, Gwen, Anya, May and most importantly, he has Uncle Ben’s words.

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

[ikosburneraccount]

I’m the anon from earlier, thanks for correcting your mistake. I understand you didn’t realize what happened but the fact that you owned up to it means a lot because most blogs would’ve blocked me out of cowardice. It’s nice to see someone else standing up against the racism in this fandom especially from big blogs like IS (who really butchers asian culture in her writing, btw, idk why we’re letting yt people write fanfic in this fandom.) i’ve been in fandom spaces for 10 years now and as far as racism goes TLC is by far the worst considering most people still don’t even accept that the MC is asian. I’ve hated TS for years for her casual racism and the white supremacy themes/narrative implicit in her music and the fact that this fandom idolizes her is disappointing, but not surprising. No, Cinder would not listen to a deeply bigoted woman who openly and unapologetically condones violence against black women and hates jewish people. TS is more like Levana than any other tlc character. Anyways thank you again for taking me srsly and correcting your mistake.

OFC ANON!!!! Your ask was so informative and held me accountable (and let me know that some Swiftie blogs could still engage with my posts without my knowledge/consent). I will definitely be moving forward differently because of your ask, thank you so so so much <3

I don't block anons but I do delete anon hate from Swifties. And I KNOW the Tumblr culture that you're talking about, I've also been here for a while (10 years now). But I want to subvert that culture with my blog and with how I respond to my asks. I would rather take the time to respond and explain than be reactive, because 1) being reactive doesn't reflect well on me and the point I'm trying to make and 2) Engaging with anons with a thoughtful response makes them feel respected and validated regardless if we agree or not. I never want people to feel stupid, ignorant, or dumb by my responses, and that is never my intention as well.

Thank you for acknowledging and feeling the same way about the fandom racism. I do feel a bit isolated and lonely sometimes knowing a majority of the fandom are TS fans, but I remember that I would rather get 0 interactions on a post then engage with racists. And anons like you only validate my point that I'm not the only person who feels this way, I'm just the most vocal. I'm genuinely happy you feel seen and heard and feel this blog is a safe space to talk about fandom racism, because I do want people to ultimately feel safe as TLC fans of color to come and talk to me about how they feel. Despite being a small fandom, we still need safe spaces like this as we, tlc fans of color, can feel/have felt alienated by the overwhelming white presence of this fandom.

(And I think it speaks for itself when, after I blocked all swifties following my page, a majority of people who still follow me are other people of color.)

Talking about TS means talking about racism and people seem to elide the fact that I am hurt by their continued support for TS. Like that's the main point of racism, you're engaging in a power dynamic that reinforces the marginalize and violence towards marginalized and exploited communities. People don't understand that being born as and existing as a person of color is a political statement that we cannot evade but actively informs and filters our lives. And when people engage with open racists like TS, it reinforces the marginalization of people of color.

TLC racism is on a different level, but then again, this is the same fandom that where cresswell, a relationship between a 16 and 20 y/o is its second biggest ship :/ Like clearly people don't care about anyone they hurt as long as they can ship their faves. And yes, the race wars when it comes to Cinder racial/ethnic background are INSANE. It really has to do with the fact that a majority of white women see Y/A heroines as their self insert so Cinder not being white disrupts this assumptions and it's the same reason Cress is so popular. I was active in the TLC fandom back in 2014-16 and there was so much discourse about Cresswell (p*d* ship discourse) and about Cinder's race/ethnicity. I 100% agree with you that TLC fandom is one of the WORST fandoms in YA because of their extreme racism towards the Cinder and other main characters (the way I tear up when I see Black!Annabeth fan art being celebrated...why can't people here act correctly sometimes 😭).

I thought IS is Asian(Chinese)-Australian? Please correct me if I'm wrong though, I was just under this impression from how they responded to asks on their blog. If they're actually not Asian/Chinese-Australian I'm actually even more disgusted with their fanfiction now. But it also explains a lot.

"I’ve hated TS for years for her casual racism and the white supremacy themes/narrative implicit in her music and the fact that this fandom idolizes her is disappointing, but not surprising."

Anon you have NO idea how much I want to be your friend right now. YOU PUT HOW I FEEL PERFECTLY INTO WORDS. This is the EXACT issue I have with TS and why she attracts such racist, bigoted fans while still appealing to her liberal fanbase. She encodes her music with white supremacist messaging and simultaneously posits herself as liberal by perverting feminist ideology to deflect accountability for the harm she's caused. She is the PERFECT white woman because she straddles the apolitical white line to maximize her (white) fanbase. She's an evil person but a commercial and marketing genius, and because white supremacy reinforces the paradigm that wealth equates to good moral character, TS is consistently defended as a good person when she literally isn't. At all.

So that's why my original response to your ask was really weird because I couldn't tell if you were pro/anti-TS but still answered anyways just in case, you know? I'm glad to know that you aren't pro-TS and there are other people recognize the racist and white supremacist undertones of her music.

"No, Cinder would not listen to a deeply bigoted woman who openly and unapologetically condones violence against black women and hates jewish people."

If TS existed in the third era she would be bigoted towards cyborgs and lunars, point blank period. People thinking the TLC main characters would be swifties or love TS is 100% a projection of their whiteness (or delusional, or both) and basic misunderstanding of how PoC face and deal with overwhelmingly popular racist white artists. Also, I have so many thoughts on calling the Lunar people "the Lunar race" in both canon and fandom. That's definitely MM's whiteness not fully understanding how race is constructed and her white vision of a post-racial futuristic society. I could speak about that for hours (but that isn't the purpose of this post).

Also you aren't being dramatic with the TS Levana comparison. That's spot on: she literally manipulates people with her victim narrative despite being 33 years old and is able to make people forget the harm she causes with the amount of content she produces. TS since her debut has never taken direct accountability for her racist actions (like the antisemitic 2009 MTV photo where she poses with a guy wearing a swatstika t-shirt and her PR team justified the photo as her "not knowing." She was FIFTEEN).

I can literally write a completely separate post linking every single article by topic of all the racist and suspicious actions she's done and taken both as an artist and person, but this is a TLC blog and I want to focus on TLC content first. This isn't a dig towards you, nanny; this is just me saying I cannot be 100% responsible for educating people on TS racism, because it is a lot of emotional and time-intensive labor.

I hope this post makes sense. This was super heavy and took me a couple hours to write because you brought up so many brilliant points and I wanted to breakdown a proper response. Seriously, this has been my favorite ask so far. Anon, you are now my friend!

[citadelofmythoughts]

https://www.tumblr.com/citadelofmythoughts/748500412993241088/you-know-yangs-plot-arc-parallels-raven-a-lot

Personally the way I read it is that it's less cowardice so much as more the strong implication that people just didn't want to hear what she had to say.

Raven gets quite a few parallels to Salem (much like her brother being a parallel to Oz), and it's strongly implied that she knows a lot more than she lets on, but that the big issue is that her brother and the Ozluminati just didn't want to hear her end of the story. And given that Raven's semblance is representative of her feeling like everyone is only interested in using her as a tool for their benefit, strongly suggests that she basically was either ignored, or at least that she felt ignored.

Combined with her upbringing and the falling apart of Team STRQ, and it resulted in a woman who was extremely distrusting because other people distrusted her, and thus feeding into a cycle of "I know but I won't tell because I don't trust you because you won't trust me" that the previous generation falls into.

When approached in good faith, Raven is pretty willing to tell what she knows, but that's not particularly common due to the complicated relationship she has with other people.

I also read her reluctance to speak more as probably (in her own backwards way) trying to keep people like Yang out of this whole mess, because she knows that its a giant clusterfuck where no one really "wins" or "knows" any better, and thus in her mind it's better to stay out of it and survive, rather than be dragged into a conflict that no one involved has any idea of what they're even doing.

Her choosing to flee while saying she's sorry in that regard isn't really just cowardice; it feels like resignation and the belief that Yang is basically sending herself on a suicide mission, and that there's nothing Raven can do to stop it because she knows that Yang is both too courageous to back down, and that she hasn't been broken down by this whole ordeal like Raven has yet.

Cowardice is defined as a lack of bravery. You can definitely argue that Raven had good reasons to not be brave in dealing with Salem and her forces and the other things she must have encountered.

But it's still a lack of bravery. Her daughter has faced down Salem without flinching because she's brave.

I like Raven, I think she has a real shot at becoming better than she is but yes, what she's done is literally cowardice (and selfish self-interest)

[catt030516]

The burning fire of our fallen tree makes me reminiscent youth. Coon hunting till late, starting a big fire, pulling the trucks around it. Getting drunk.

Being in love like never before.

You can’t replicate being naive. We actually never used anything. I think we thought we were going to just have babies and live happily ever after.😂😂😂 we never had any which must have just have been the universe.

But, he broke up with me because (I told you the cologne story) I wasn’t forthcoming about hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. Then his dad signed him out of school the next day.

In response to him having a cheating scandal or two with his ex and Mary.

Like I said I miss being naive. Because now that I look at it without the “buts…” it’s harder to just blame me. He hurt me w/o excuse. I did the same. Wish I’d have been stronger and then I’d have been less scared of the truth. And he had no reasons to cheat on me. That was mean.

Just saw Mike in my driveway today. Asked me how the fire was.

I instantly thought:

“Kelly? Cate? For the love of Christ why did you fuck that up and give this man another shot when he was clearly fucking another woman???!?!?”

Fear.

Fear of change.

Fear of what others would think.

Its almost always fear. Fear prevents more unhappiness then any straight up abuse does.

I was scared to lose my kids. I was afraid he’d take them from me. At that point in his life, Buoy did nothing but support and love me. He was good with Evan who was two. And I never appreciated that until it was too late.

And damn, Bukowski said it best:

“…and there’s nothing ever worse than “Too late.”

We get such a small flicker of time on this wheel of karma tic life, and it’s amazing what lengths we go to to gain the favor of someone or everyone else but ourselves. Just so we can live another lifetime ( I believe within our own family lines) and try to do it correctly.

**If I’m rambling quit reading because I’m copying it/pasting it for the journal entry I have to do😂😂**

I think the hardest decisions are the ones the ones we carry out in length because we are afraid. Afraid of hurting someone. So we what? Hurt ourselves? Hurt other people with us? Hurt our futures.

There was a time, when for approx. a month I would be sat down on Sundays prior to leaving to go home. You’d give me these dancing words, basically you were trying to say, “Look, I feel like lost. I need more of you.”

You are human. It would be hard to process, but with Evan, hell, I have asked his father. Even 6 months was not unreasonable. But in your confusion you let her, exactly a year to the week,come and tell you you were together.

Which was made clear to everyone but her.

After every sacrifice I’d ever given you. After all of the missed holidays, swallowed grief, sleepless night, long drives. Shared secrets. Shared motherfucking secrets.

Just because you could never look up and say, “yes, Dawn. You moved out I’ve been seeing someone. It’s going well. I don’t hate you. You are the mother of my children. We both made mistakes. But I understand and respect the life you’ve made this year as well. I’m sure you will respect my life as I respect your

Instead, it was jokes and dancing instead of answering the direct question. Who knows WHAT you are are afraid of. Maybe your just a borderline who can’t exist without the presence of chaotic relationship? I honestly have to admit I DONT know. I can’t know you at all after any of that, can I?

So for about a month you’d have these talks with me. Usually right after sex once I was dressed and ready to leave to make the drive home. Instead of saying, “I’m lonely don’t leave” you’d act like a stepdad/someone who was not Ron. You’d tell me how you weren’t divorced. All this bullshit I will never listen to again in my life. You acted like I didn’t have someone I just lost! Someone your cowardice denied me the right to sit at his funeral. The nerve of you.

Yes, I was very caught up in my feelings. When Ronda found me passed out barely breathing there’s no way to describe how angry I was she found me. I acted like Sylvia Plath.

And why wouldn’t I? I was begining to experiance the very long eulogy that is burying a man that never existed. Whose not physically dead. But there’s nothing NOTHING left of who I thought I knew.

I understand a lot of people live the way they do. It’s about the years, not the rules or any degree of happiness. I want you to remember (and I’m sure you do) who was really there for you, when you were hard? working Friday nights, when things were upside down with your mom. Did you ever have to worry about me running around Ron, Did you? Did you ever? Did you care when your kids heartbeat stopped or were you relieved? I at least bought in to the fact I was part of your family. I introduced myself to the nurse as your girlfriend. Stupid me. Should’ve told her to hurry in and close the door.

“ I’m the mistress. Yes it’s been a year my boyfriend is afraid of his wife finding out and not being his friend anymore.”

😂😂Could you fucking imagine? Me putting up with you in that capacity??

Yeah, I can’t either.

That fear made all of that even harder then it had to be. Just because you couldn’t just say the truth. You drug this out so long, have said or done things nearly unforgivable ( I forgive once I process, for very selfish reasons.)

I hope you had a nice time we were together. I hope you long to feel how wonderful it was since wAaaay back in Angola. I hope it felt good to have me there next to you. Inside of me in our bed you now share with Dawn.

Because unless you’re

on your knees pleading for apologies for your egotism and dishonesty, you’ll never so much as kiss my cheek.

Ron Stroupe died last December. I don’t know who you are or why you’d think I’d put up with any of your antics. Please don’t cause this home, the home that brought you in without question, anymore damage.

The Ron Stroupe I knew had an estranged wife. He isn’t afraid to tell her about me. He wouldn’t have done that to us. He was a man. Hard or not, he was a man, not a coward.

6/23/2023

Can you celebrate 29 years or do you have to jump back to year 27 1/2?😂😂😂

[fallenangelofsalt]

Its cowardice in a loose sense.

I'll just admit right away that I like Dark more so I'm absolutely biased here. Chosen avoids. Right at the start of the flashback where it shows the terrorism era we see Chosen slowly start to regret their path. Yet at seemingly no point they try to tell Dark to stop until that confrontation. Then the whole thing with kidnapping Second who clearly didn't remember having powers and was confused as hell rather than getting some other sort of help.

But their true parallel with Alan seems to be a narrow worldview. They are very straightfoward as you've said in another post. They don't seem to consider other options until something forces them to.

The first thing they do is fight. And they keep doing that until they can't. They never seem to consider another course of (general) action until something Big happens. They only start to regret when they see other sticks being terrorized, considering in the previous frame they seemed just as eager to terrorize the Angry Bird characters. They don't do anything big to stop Dark until the virabots. And when they do their immediate action is fight.

In ava9 they fight the mercs on their own until forced to realize they can't win, so they go get help. But they don't seem to consider that they could get help in other ways, or that beating the mercs up once would maybe not get them to back off. They don't think to help Second until the darts show up.

And then there's Alan, who apparently denied stickfigure sentience at every turn, even after getting his PC blasted by the power of friendship, until it freaking talked.

I didn't exactly mean cowardice in the Beat Up The Weak sense, more in the I Am Right Always (Let Me Ignore All Evidence Otherwise For My Peace Of Mind) way.

As for Dark and Victim, they are both sadistic but in different ways. Basically, death isn't as personal as torture.

Dark seems to have little regard for life. They are dismissive of CG's deaths and mirror Alan's arrogance in early ava. They are sadistic, yes, but not in a personal way, they just go around causing destruction and if you happen to be in their way then maybe you'll be amusing as you burn.

Victim's sadism is a lot more personal. They very especifically targeted Chosen, and while the torture itself was made with the purpose of interrogation, I think its clear that's not the only reason it happened.

Dark is no saint, but they don't seem to be a coward, just arrogant and apathetic. Victim on the other hand, systematically takes out every possible advantage Chosen has before starting the interrogation, mirroring how Alan immediately starts throwing Chosen around once they get shackled.

Betrayal of Memory

“I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you got him to fight for you.”

He had no retort. He’d been trying not to think about that, honestly, but he couldn’t brush it off in the name of urgency forever. The fact stood that he’d recruited the very stick who had taken the life of his only friend, and—

“And he tried to tell you, even. Heh. He actually knew. He knew he couldn’t. But you didn’t care. Did you? You stayed to watch, I’ll grant you that, but if you actually—”

Wait, what?

“How could you do that?”

…did Dark care about…surely not, Second had killed him, what cause did he have to care—

“How could you do that to me?! How could you hide behind someone who doesn’t understand what they’re up against? How could you send someone else out, alone, to fight your battles for you? How could you throw him into an impossible fight on your behalf!?”

…oh.

“How low have you fallen? At least I had the decency to hide behind my own two arms!”

[monkey-network]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is Good

Yeah, you heard right. I came out feeling like this film was better than I would've ever expected. I'm talking about the Super Mario Bros. movie... from 1993.

That's right, the live-action one. The one considered the first and one of the worst video game films of all time. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, I enjoyed this film; it was better than it had any right to be even with its glaring flaws. So yeah, with the animated Mario movie coming out this year, I wanna talk about what went wrong, what they got right, and if this had to be as bad as many have said. It's no April Fools, let's really do this...

This film doesn't have Bowser in all his thicc glory tho so I won't say it's as good as what Illumination cooked

Now I'll go ahead and say: the '93 film isn't a "faithful looking" Mario Bros movie. Like the alternate dimension they go to is just the Bronx on a Friday evening. There's a nightclub where we meet a Mario enemy in the form of a very hot black woman that results in Mario fishin' in her titties. Donald Tru- President Koopa is a human and yet hates humans apparently? The princess is named Daisy, Toad is just some guy, and Luigi doesn't have a mustache. This is more of a Super Mario World movie than a "Super Mario Bros" movie like omg, it's a mess. Then again, I'm looking at it as not just somebody obsessed with "faithfulness" and I see a film that does some things right both originally and for the games.

In the least, Hoskins and Leguizamo made for a legit great pair

I think about the blueprinting around this film, back in the 90s. You're tasked with making a movie and if it just had to be live-action, what COULD have been done? I'm not excusing the probable production hell that went on with this or saying the changes are all perfect, but some of what they do here actually worked even if they don't look the part. Mario and Luigi felt like close brothers and we don't get into a forced falling out determining who was the better brother or more in the right. Even if Luigi doesn't have his cowardice, this was before Luigi's Mansion solidified that into his personality so making him a more optimistic leap of faith kind of guy fits with him being the younger brother. Mario's more cautious but reasonably so, all the while he's the reliable take-charge hero he's known for in the games. Dennis Hopper, I don't doubt hated working on this, was great playing the unapologetically nasty villain Koopa. However in name, Daisy is still made the princess and she's as kind-hearted as imagined. Yoshi is still a dinosaur. So much of this movie looks like they bastardized the point of Super Mario but at the same time, I can still say they fit in this original spin of the universe.

Plus Yoshi genuinely looks great here like it's a mystery how this looked better than Disney's attempt at dinosaurs 7 years later

If there is a genuine problem I have with this film, it'd be a couple of the side characters. Big Bertha (yes, real name) was a minor character that I liked but is never seen again at a certain point. Koopa's relatives Iggy and Spike, also humans, switch from bad to good as well after literally gaining intelligence but it still didn't make sense why they betrayed Koopa. There are more than enough things in this world that will not make sense even if you can piece it together. I don't think this'll leave you hating yourself for watching it, but it'll leave you flabbergasted for sure.

Then again if the animated Mario Movie doesn't have them go to a nightclub, Illumination needs to fall

Otherwise, this film revels in the chaos and that's why I kinda love it. People who tout this as bad seem to be under the impression that it's Super Mario Bros in name only when I don't see it that way despite the liberties they took. The film gets that Mario and Luigi are plumbers from Brooklyn, that they grow to be heroes, and that they're rescuing a princess from an evil bad guy. Even with this Total Recall-looking fantasy world, I won't pretend to say it doesn't work as a Super Mario Bros adventure. Even if they got too ambitious, it never felt like they knew nothing about who the bros were and how they could make a story for them. Again, if you see it more as a Super Mario World film you'll be less confused. Plus, on its own, it's kind of a shlocksterpiece. It's not as corny as the Super Show cartoon, but this throws you off in very compelling ways. You have a scene where Koopa uses a SNES Super Scope to shoot a guy and transform him into a chimpanzee. It's madness but consistently so. I'm not gonna pretend this is the worst thing ever just because it doesn't look the part and isn't "faithful" to the games.

But you know what? It begs the question. What could've been done differently for this film? I like this film but I can see where people were befuddled and disappointed by it so you know what? I'll be constructive this time because I believe in some alternate timeline of 1993 there's a version of the Super Mario Bros movie that's actually better received.

Let's make a more faithful adaptation, if I may

It'll still have the characters, accurately costumed, same casting, and if it has to be the case, it will be live-action. Except this time the story... is a road trip. Not like Sonic's eventual movie that just takes place in the real world, Mario and Luigi get transported into the Mushroom Kingdom and their quest of course is rescuing the princess and stopping Koopa. Since most Mario games have been about getting from point A to B, I figure the trip could consist of the brothers traveling through a couple different worlds, meeting the different folk of each world, and incorporating what they learned to defeat the bad guys. The bros would of course get into an argument but it wouldn't result in them separating or being entirely against each other. In their predicament, that would be stupid. They could also be an inspiration for the people they help along the way and they'll have an entire army fighting Koopa's army Flash Gordon style. The final act would be them conquering world 8 or Koopa's domain. It'd be like the Super Mario Adventure comics meets... Robots, I guess? In the end they save the day and while they're sent back to the real world, the door is always open for more adventures just like the original. Easy to execute idea, yeah? It'd be as much about the Mario Bros as it is the actual worlds of this franchise. Wishful thinking I know, but what do I know?

I just know that adaptations don't have to be faithful to be both enjoyable and considerate of the source material. I'm hard on stuff like Netflix's Cowboy Bebop, the first Sonic Hedgehog film, and the Disney remakes especially not because they needed to be 1 to 1 with the source material, but what they do as their own thing isn't enjoyable and at its worst, they bastardize what worked perfectly before for audiences that don't care. If you want to adapt something and give it a style, go all the way with it while knowing the values of the source material that made it work in the first place. That's what the '93 Mario Bros movie did for me. The directors didn't make Mario and Luigi whole other people, they just gave them a different yet similar adventure. I just hope with this review of mine, you give it a shot and don't look at it for a movie that should've been. All that said,

It's an amazing 8 Out of 10. Kino with the right eye.

[mirielwebster]

What better way to get started than with Fire Emblem's favourite word, dastard, which appears in just about every game, be it officially or unofficially translated? This shot in particular is from the new (fan)translation of FE4, but it was present in the older one as well. Fans often seem to assume it's just a butchering of "bastard" (for ratings reasons) without realising that it is a real word with a real meaning.

( "Implore" is also a possible candidate, and perhaps also "adore" and "undercut" as well if you want to be thorough. )

An Emblematic starting word, indeed!

Fire Emblem's relationship with pejoratives is an interesting one, and while dastard is definitively a distinct word from bastard, I do think there is a relationship between the use of old-timey insults and the need or desire to keep things "Nintendo-friendly." It was rare to see even a damn in the first localized games, and part of the way localization circumvented this was to have the characters use epithets that sounded... well, medieval. Hence your craven!s and your cur!s and, if you're feeling extra spicy, your craven cur!s. I'm actually hard-pressed to recall a usage of dastard in at least FE7 (which was fond of blackheart in similar circumstances); maybe the ESRB thought it was a little too close to the B-word for comfort.

Of course, as the series settled comfortably into a consistent "T for Teen" rating, sensibilities surrounding language loosened up. Awakening was the first game to see characters swearing on a fairly regular basis— up to and including bastard with a B! Yet we still see dastard often enough in modern FE games, which should put to rest the notion that it's merely a euphemism for a more offensive term. They're used differently, and that boils down to both meaning and tone.

(This is where I was initially going to expound on bastard, but just as that section of the post was getting to be too long, an angel of mercy sent an Ask for that very word. So stay tuned, all you beautiful bastards.)

Kidnapping is, of course, Dastardry 101.

So, what exactly does it mean to be a dastard? Merriam-Webster gives two definitions: 1) “coward,” and 2) “a person who acts treacherously or underhandedly.” 

While people do seem to assume dastard as it appears in FE is a willful typo, I’d wager most of you have actually heard its adjectival form: dastardly! Yes, that’s an adjective, not an adverb, despite the -ly ending— same with words like friendly and unsightly.

If the context hasn’t made it clear by now, these words are practically synonymous with villainy. But we’re not just talking any old villain: the key word in the above definitions is underhanded. Dastard carries the sense of cowardice with it because it’s associated with backstabbing, behind-the-scenes scheming, sneak attacks, and just generally dirty tactics. Arguably the most famous “dastard!” in Fire Emblem is directed toward Arvis in Genealogy of the Holy War, and it’s patently well-deserved. And even though Chagall in the asker’s provided screenshot might be projecting juuust a little bit, he actually does well to give us some context clues, as he accuses Eldigan of getting close to his father in order to get one over on Chagall— which, if it were true, would certainly qualify as underhanded. Not as underhanded as murdering your peace-loving king and father, maybe, but who’s to say.

So while modern audiences will sooner associate this word with being a villain than with merely being a coward, it’s important to note that not every villain is a dastard. Your big, strong, honest warlord types— Walhart, for instance— are generally not going to be very dastardly. Neither are your force-of-evil gods and monsters… after all, who needs trickery and deception when you can turn your foes to stone, incinerate them with your breath, or simply eat them? And while yes, dastard and bastard are different words, one commonality you might have noticed is how male-gendered they both are in practice. Nothing whatsoever is stopping a woman from being a dastard, but it’s unlikely she’ll ever be called one. 

As for the other words:

Implore basically means beg, though it implies a little more dignity. Rather than falling to your knees, folding your hands, and crying a lot, you need a more strategic and sophisticated approach when imploring. Eldigan’s completely sincere in his desire to put a stop to Chagall’s warmongering, but he doesn’t lower himself upon asking.

Adore means love, especially in a worshipful or fawning way. While it can still be used in an earnest way, it's just as often tinged with condescension, implying disdain for the adorer, the adoree, or both. I’m not sure when adorable came to be synonymous with cute, but I think there’s an intentional hyperbole in that usage that became lost as it became common. Chagall may likewise be hyperbolizing, intent as he is upon framing Eldigan as… well, a manipulative dastard. Having already learned his true feelings toward his father, what's meant to communicate sympathy for the king to Eldigan rings hollow and ironic to the audience.

Undercut as used here means the same as undermine, which is to weaken or make useless via subtle or covert means. It’s all very underhanded… or shall we say, dastardly. Undercut does have more of an association with direct competition or rivalry, though, which gives the sense that part of this may be personal to Chagall.

Well, I think that covers everything! Tune in next time, when we discuss dastard’s edgier, PG-13 cousin. Oh yes, I was serious.

[morallygreyvillain]

TOTCF FIC (WIP) [Cale × Choi Han]

"Slacker Life. Right?"

———————————

- Chapter 1 [Beta V.] -

×××××(Its a little saucy)×××××

Finally, The white start defeated, the Demon God sealed and everyone is safe and back home. It was finally time to begin that peaceful life Cale had always dreamed of.

Just the final step left... finally address those deep, scorching feelings that have been bubbling below the surface.

Cale has taken advantage of his patience for far too long...

Despite everyone else already being aware, constantly sharing knowing looks and sighs.

Thinking that he was blind to them. Cale doesn't regret waiting and holding back until this moment. Now that all the big obstacles were out of his way.

He's proud that he was able to keep his true feelings a secret (tho perhaps some had figured him out). He could imagine how much more teasing he would've endured had he not been so inscrutable (so he thinks).

He already got enough of it when his friends and family thought he was oblivious to it. Mostly noticeably from the kids who weren't so discreet.

On, being more mature wasnt so blatant about calling him a "foolish human"; but Cale was tired of the way she would stare and him, sigh, and then shake her head as if to say

"Ah, he's so poor/pitiful that he fell in love with this fool who doesn't know anything".

It's not like the other person made their feelings blatantly obvious. But for those close to him, his real feelings were as clear as glass. And once you did, you couldn't unsee it.

His devotion, his admiration, his frustration, and his complete trust that Cale has no idea how he's earned. His family and friends must have truly thought him to be an unfathomable idiot to have not noticed. (Not even mentioning how terrible of an actor he is)

But...

he thought it better to be seen as a dullard than as cruel...

And he did feel cruel.

Because despite how palpable those feelings were and how clear it was to each other, more so than anybody else...

no matter how much they were reciprocated...

they couldn't be acknowledged.

At least not in the usual sense...

Locking eyes, understanding each other without needing words, casual touches, praises, admonishments, and countless times depending on one another, protecting each other, sacrificing themselves for the other.

That ineffable feeling was always present, never absent.

Never unseen or unheard in even the most mundane of expressions or words...

Yes, he felt cruel, he felt guilty.

He was the one forcing them to hold back. There were too many risks, his attention was too divided; there wasn't enough time.

There was too much at stake.

Cale was at fault.

Those weren't valid reasons, none of that mattered in the face of each other. 

all that was just excuses, external issues that distracted from the real reason inside himself...

Fear.

Cale was simply afraid,

afraid that the world would take from him again.

Constantly making excuses to play oblivious.

"It's simply a whim, a cliche, he's just confusing his sense of duty, it's just because I'm the closest thing to his home, it filial"

"Because he feels independent to me, if not, why would he... I'm trash? He could do so much better, he's the protagonist.

"I don't deserve it..."

But above all that, Cale was greedy and not even his cowardice and pessimism could win over that. His avarice grew and now he not only wanted his peaceful life...he wanted to have him as well...

No, his peaceful life wouldn't be complete without him

So he planned and schemed and stole, blowing up every physical obstacle that was in his way,

their way...

Cale would flip the whole world upside-down if he had to.

And they were always there.

Patiently waiting and never far from his side but never taking that step over their boundary. Just waiting...

Knowing him he probably never expected to stop waiting, never daring to hope for anything more, content with what he had.

What they had.

But it's not enough to satiate the darkness inside him. Cale knew deep down they weren't as pure as originally thought. There was the voracity of a beast somewhere locked away, shackled by his intense devotion.

Holding back his true feelings, his greed, his...

Desire~

An insatiable feeling that made what they held towards each other distinct, unmistakable. The possessiveness, the jealousy...

The lust

It was scorching him

That instinct, that desire was the only thing they pretended not to see,

or feel.

They had to. Once experienced, it couldn't be swayed away by reason or excuses. Cale truly had to acknowledge what this "affection" was at that moment and that it was more than simply...affection.

Ravenous eyes, causal contact that seemed to last just too long because he didn't want to let go. How was Cale supposed to not notice all these things...

Or how they made him feel.

Even before when he was Roksu he had never experienced that type of desire, always far more concerned with surviving. Even being surrounded by several unparalleled beauties after transmigrating he hadn't felt... attracted to them in that way. Even with his beguiling appearance, the attention it got was appreciated but never reciprocated.

At least until now...

His words were always laced with intention and actions designed to distract him. He began to linger in touches of his own. Cale was better at masking it than he was. Those around them always catch his passionate stares, but not Cale's.

Cale was much more subtle with his...

appreciation...

His usual attitude and aloofness made him harder to read in general. But though friends and family had seen through his" uncaring" exterior, they hadn't caught on when he'd admire the curves or took the opportunity to feel his muscles or appreciate his handsome face.

When Cale would tilt his head ever so slightly, shifting his hips or loosen his clothes deliberately because he knew he was being intensely watched.

Sure it made him feel bad, knowing what he was doing to him, and how others would pity and tease him after. Thinking Cale was oblivious to his effect on him.

But it felt so~ much better to watch him squirm~ and bite to keep that beast-ial part of himself at bay...

But now...

All those things that had been in the way, shackling their inclinations, were blown away.

He was far too powerful for any sort of social propriety to affect him (not to say that it ever had).

So finally he would claim the final piece needed for his leisurely life...

"No need to delay this anymore..."

_________________________________________

Ok this is the draft of the first chapter

Link for info post HERE

I haven't finished the first Season yet [I got to the way to the part where Alberu is a Lion (I felt that was the least spoiler detail) > its also been over a year since I binge read the series so I'm a little foggy on certain details so if I've left some characters out or missed some stuff thats why but I'd appreciate it if no one spoiled anything for me!!!!

Anyway since I'm posting them all at once I'll attack the next chapter's draft HERE!

***Chapter 2 Beta link***

[invaderhogtwopointohno]

Squid Game: Sang-Woo (Spoilers!)

Hahaha you wish your Fave was a Problematic is this dumb bitch. My sweet precious son and favorite character: Sang-Woo!!!

Yes, I know that my boy is trash and he deserved everything he got- but I love him and you can’t take that away from me. My boy Sang-Woo really went through a lot throughout the series and he is the example of the kind of person that is typical of these kinds of games: he only cares about winning because of the sheer amount of money he had the potential to win.

But- despite the fact that he is like that- the show and the writers didn’t depict him to be a monster. Instead, they used subtly and really great character moments to make you realize that anyone of us could easily end up like Sang-Woo.

Sang-Woo is a kid who got out of the bad life. Gi-Hun calls him “the genius” of their neighborhood and a guy who went to a good college, graduated top of his class. He went into business finance and made a lot of mistakes. And Sang-Woo’s fatal flaw as a person is that he is a complete and utter coward. He would rather pretend like nothing in the world is his fault and that things are the way they are and you can’t change them. He puts his mother into a desperate corner and lies and pretends like he is some kind of big shot and refuses to tell her to her face that he is a fraud. He lets her find out through the police.

Sang-Woo also is the one who the most invested in the Squid Game from the beginning. He listens closely to the rules and makes sure that they explain everything perfectly. He is an exploiter of the system and its rules. He uses his smarts and manipulates the people around him to get what he wants.

The biggest show of this is actually at the beginning when he is playing Red Light, Green Light, when he tells Gi-Hun that the best way to survive is to just use someone else as a human shield. THIS IS THE FIRST EPISODE!! This tells us from the beginning that Sang-Woo is not going to stop at anything to get what he wants.

His later betrayals of the group are also not Shakespearen in nature like some of the other characters- its little moments that are downright harsh and sometimes unnessecarily so. In the Honeycomb challenge, he didn’t have to let the others choose the wrong door, he could have easily told them that he thought he had figured out what the challenge was, but Sang-Woo’s need to win and his own self-preservation always wins out over whatever affection or feelings he has towards the others. He even tells them that the only reason he sticks with them is self-preservation and that if he ends up having to betray them, that’s what he has to do.

The moment that he has gone too far and the moment that really sealed his fate in the story has to be his relationship and eventual betrayal of Ali. Their developing relationship in the story was one of the highlights of the series and the actors had such great chemistry. Ali was such a good person and Sang-Woo treated him like a real friend, giving him money for the bus when he hardly had any himself, being the first to let him call him “brother” and their moments together on screen were incredibly beautiful.

That’s what made the Marbles game by far the saddest and harshest dose of reality for the entire crew. Realizing that he had to let Ali die to get what he needed to move on to the next round was incredibly difficult but what made it even more terrifying is that Sang-Woo didn’t even hesitate in his plan to let Ali die. And his cowardice was even more so because he not only tricked him, but he also left before he could face Ali as he was killed. Sang-Woo can’t bring himself to face anything he has done, even the betrayals of his friends because he is too much of  a loser.

After the Marbles game, we see him downward spiral because he doesn’t have anything left- the prize money is within their grasp. He and Gi-Hun’s relationship breaking down further cements that Sang-Woo is ready to do what he needs to win, and he doesn’t care about anything else. He even lies to himself saying that killing Sae-Byeok was in the name of self-preservation because he realized that Gi-Hun had the advantage of teaming up with her to potentially end the entire game.

On their final showdown, he realizes that despite everything that they have done, Gi-Hun is still willing to walk away from everything empty-handed because he has managed to retain his humanity through the entire ordeal wherein Sang-Woo has not. He even is surprised to learn that Sae-Byeok told Gi-Hun not to kill him while he slept because she knew that it would have broken Gi-Hun beyond repair and that he was too good of a person to do that to his lifelong friend- wherein Sang-Woo wouldn’t have hesitated if the roles were reversed.

After their final fight in the game, Sang-Woo is faced with his situation when Gi-Hun manages to defeat him and is going to claim victory. Techincally they both get to walk away with their lives, but that same problem that he has always had is his cowardice. Sang-Woo just can’t bring himself to lose the game and face his mother and consequences of his own actions. He just never takes that extra step towards redemption because he doesn’t want it. He just wants the money to fix all of his problems instead.

Sang-Woo is a great example of what a real participant in this kind of game could be. He makes a lot of great points: he was never outwardly friendly, he listened to all of the rules, and he was ready to do what was needed to participate and win. He never pretends to be anything other than a piece of shit and that is very refreshing because its really Gi-Hun’s continued need to believe in the good of people that blinds him to Sang-Woo’s serious flaws and potential for violence.

[blacksunscorpio]

Astro Musings No. 10

Prominent Lilith…

in a chart  can be found in people who work in areas like defending the rights of women, refugees, the under-privileged; in international law, in war zones, in women’s refuges. These individuals are gutsy advocates, activists... typically the people who experience the darker side of humanity and as a result, know the truth about it. The truth the general population would like to sweep under the rug. You’ll see this feminine energy surrounding the dishonored, rejected and abused. One who feasts on a never ending sampler of the deepest ends of the emotional spectrum; rage, grief, all forms of toxicity, past-life and trans-generational residues and influences, conception/in-utero/birth traumas. This where the “curse” label comes in, as anyone with strong Lilith positions is a carrier of the same, the accumulation of off all these attributes. She will be a receptor of it as well as a deliverer. She will also use it to her advantage and can become someone quite feared and respected.

Prominent Lilith in a man’s chart will usually indicate that he will act out Lilith’s issues through a partner or project Lilith’s issues onto them. There are likely to be issues with the mother. Very similar to a Moon in Scorpio in a man’s chart or moon in the 8th. He may also attract partners who are very strong in their femininity and the quintessential “man-eater”.

Those with Saturn in Capricorn

Will usually find themselves being the ambitious types-especially regarding school or their career. Saturn is discipline and in its element in Capricorn [ruled by Saturn]. 

12th House Stelliums in Synastry or Composite

Can indicate a spiritual-like connection. A deep emotional connection with a ton of emotional involvement. Very likely two people ill appear in each other’s dreams. May even indicate a telepathic connection with heavy Neptunian house influence. However it can also indicate undoing by either one of the natives to the other. In addition, it can indicate a relationship that has hidden aspects. Often this is seen in relationships that are forbidden or forced to be kept secret in some way. Be careful with unrequited love here as well as deception. Heavy 12th House has this nasty knack for making those with it’s influence feel euphoric and even dreamy but it can be hard to ascertain where things are working for or against you. Asteroid Aphrodite Touching the Moon

Will accentuate a native’s beauty and sensuality. Their emotional expression will be seen as “beautiful” by others. This is a common placement found in actresses and even models. If in the 1st house this will be quite akin to having Venus [Aphrodite’s Roman counterpart] on the ascendant. If in the 5th house, a native might find themselves having frequent casual flings that will be catalyzed by someone being attracted to their physical appearance.

Placement found in “Sex workers” Will often be

Venus or Mars in the 10th, 6th, or 2nd

Pluto or Scorpio on the Midheaven

Uranus in the 2nd 6th or 10th [Uranus equates things that are unconventional and rebellious. It also rules the ‘Avant Garde’. On a career or Money house this can indicate one who makes money or has an unconventional career]

Mars in Aquarius [Pornographic actor James Deen has this placement]

Mars in the 8th

Mars touching Neptune [Neptune can indicate fantasy/illusion/acting + Mars = sex]

MARS IN CAPRICORN [Actress Sasha Gray has this placement]

Venus aspecting Mars Lilith and/or Pluto

Venus in the 8th

Dominant Lilith

Strong Asteroid Eros [433], Nymphe [875], Lust [4386]. or Priapus[H22]

Mars in Scorpio

Those with Mars in Pisces

Are quite passive with their aggression. They do not like conflict and typically hate drama but some can find themselves being subversive in their tactics. If badly aspected this can indicate cowardice or one who resorts to manipulative in order to assert their will.

“Sister Signs”

Such as Taurus and Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius, Aries is opposite to Libra, and Cancer to Capricorn are opposite each other yes but they are considered “Sisters” because of the way in which they balance each other out There is always give and take. Taurus is practical and down to earth while Scorpio is existential, Aries sets things off while Libra diplomatizes, Cancer feels and nurtures while Capricorn executes. Moon in the 8th House can indeed make someone think of sex often. 8th house is ruled by Pluto/Scorpio and the house that rules sex and the Moon is one, if not the most receptive point in the natal horoscope. As a result, a native with this placement may find themselves immersed in 8th house thoughts

Jupiter in the 8th House I’ve mentioned before in a man’s chart can indicate one who is well endowed [BDE]. In a woman’s chart it can be an indicator of one who is OVER sexed. The highest sex drives live here because Jupiter EXPANDS. Mars in this house is also a pretty powerful contender. 

Gaslighting...

In astrology, despite common misconception isn’t always a Plutonic attribute but a NEPTUNIAN one. Though Pluto is a master tactician and can often probe to the deepest levels of the psyche, Neptune can downright pull the wool over one’s eyes. Neptune rules confusion, illusion, deception and trickery [as can Mercury]. If there is someone in your life that has a nasty habit of this [natally or in synastry] check to see if

Neptune is aspecting Nessus

Neptune squaring/opposing Mars

Neptune squaring/opposing Mercury [Decepion/mind]

Neptune squaring/opposing Moon [Deception/Feelings]

Neptune squaring/Opposing.conjunct Nessus [Deception/abuse]

Neptune squaring/IOpposing Pluto

Neptune squaring/opposing Sado [Deception/perversion/abuse]

Neptune squaring/opposing asteroid Psyche No. 16 [Deception/Mind/innerworld]

Piscean influence or 12th House influence debilitated/afflicted.

Ladies and and Gentlemen, If you find yourself attracting predatory creepers who happen to be in the older age range...

This is likely due to some sort of Capricorn or Saturn placement touching your Venus. Saturn represents the “father figure” and when touching a receptive sexual/feminine planet like Venus, older men may prey on you. This is especially likely if there is a cross aspect to Pluto which adds obsession.

Moon/Saturn

in hard aspect can be an indicator as well.

Priapus touching Venus with Saturn

in the mix can indicate these older men will do anything to fuck you. Priapus is wild sexual abandon and need to merge [but the male version, he’s Lilith’s counterpart].

5th House Stellium with Saturn in the Mix

or a 5th house in Capricorn can indicate feeling restricted in the area of fun. 5th house is naturally ruled by Leo/the Sun and is the are of life that rules leisure, enjoyment, children/childhood, casual relationships [often of the sexual variety]. When Saturn is here, he can restrict or add a touch of maturity to the aforementioned areas. This could be the person who had to grow up faster than everyone else for whatever reason. This can also be the person who feels blocked from innocent expression of love and therefore they can be terrified of committing. They can be socially reserved, shy, awkward and/or naturally distant even if they deeply crave relationships. People can misjudge their temperament for indifference or coldness but in reality they can’t help it. This is not to say that they will never become emotionally/romantically involved, but more so it may take a longer time than others. Having benefics in said house can help combat the effect of Saturn [depending on harmonious or challenging aspects.]

When Jupiter is transiting one of your angles...

This is Usually an indicator of a lucky break and or windfall. Even more so if Uranus is in harmonious aspect to said angle. The luck can come out of the blue.

If aspecting the 10th, this can mean lucky break in the career.

 The 4th, Perhaps a lucky break in family or even a pregnancy. 

The 8th a lucky inheritance from a family member. 

7th, Luck in love.

Malefic Uranus in Natal or Synastry 

can indicate where one feels abandoned. Uranus is about “sudden breaks” so often if it is touching 4th, Sun, or moon it can indicate someone whose family has been plagued with Divorce. I often seen Sun inconjunct or square Uranus in charts of people whose father was absent or split from life right away. Moon in hard aspect to Uranus can be an indicator of an absentee mother. 

Composite Charts with Stelliums

Indicate that the planets and houses will be integral parts of the relationship

1st House stelliums indicate that the couple’s image and personalities will be significantly affected. All 1st house dealings will be accentuated. This will be a karmic relationship.

2nd House stelliums indicate the couple will be very concerned with material values or even quite possessive of each other. They may make money together. Gift giving can be a big factor in the relationship. Careful for neptune here as it can indicate “stealing” of resources.

8th House stelliums indicate the relationship will center around sex/obsession's and/or even marriage since this house is the life/death house. Karmic tie. 

4th House stellium indicate family, security and comfort will be paramount If Jupiter is here, they may have [many] children together.

10th House stellium can indicate a power couple or two people’s relationship that center around their careers. They may be talked about or subject of gossip only because their relationship is akin to celebrity to others.

3rd House Stelliums in Sagittarius 

Will usually be one who is verbose. They have a LOT to say and since the 3rd house is ruled by mercury, planet of communication and Sagittarius is a fire sign ruled by expansive Jupiter, one is always seeking to expand their mode of thought. They may have a knack for languages. These are also the people who will do well if they travel abroad for school. The classic “shipping you off to boarding school in Switzerland” aspect. Very Philosophical thinkers here. Akin to having a Mercury in Sagittarius.

Pluto touching the MC in Synastry

Can mean that the Pluto person can transform [for better or worse] the Midheaven person’s public persona, career, or reputation. For example, Brad Pitt’s Pluto is forming a harmonious aspect to Angelina Jolie’s Midheaven and she went from being the bad girl/outcast of Hollywood to gaining Pitt’s social capital the moment they got together. Her popularity increased exponentially because of him. She was more accepted due to her association with him in Hollywood inner-circles than she was before when acting out her aloof, devil-may-care, vile-of-blood sporting days.

Planets in your 1st House

Can influence your appearance just like your rising can. So even if you are a Scorpio rising, your Sun in your 1st house can make you shine despite the dark Plutonic influence on your ascendant. Aries rising’s are typically on the shorter and stockier side but with Jupiter in the 1st it can make one Tall and Muscular. Capricorn risings with Venus in the 1st Can have RBF yes, but with Venusian influence can have a sort of Cold Beauty. Leo Rising’s with Saturn in the 1st can have a regal aura but a very stern or austere appearance. Virgo Risings with Mars in the 1st Can often be very graceful. The structure and detail of Virgo with the athleticism of Mars are working together Ballerina’s/Dancers often have this placement.

Sagittarius on the 7th house/DSC Cusp or Sagittarian influence on Venus or 4th House can indicate marrying someone outside of your culture.

Minor Planet/Asteroid Pallas in the 3rd or touching Mercury can indicate a writer or someone who is quick witted and ambitious regarding intellect.

Positives for Venus in the 12th 

typically a knack for knowing how to love others. One see’s the hidden parts of others that they do not show. These are the people who wind up having complete strangers spill their guts to them because others unconsciously sense that this person is naturally sympathetic and an empath, Strong empathetic ability here. In addition They’ll attract people from all walks of life. Very go with the flow people. Easy to get along with. 

A square Between Saturn and Neptune in Synastry

Often means the Saturn person can restrict the dreaminess and idealism of Neptune. Saturn wants Neptune to come back down to earth and will often call Neptune out without reservation if they catch them being less than honest. Neptune may feel stifled and unable to express their idealistic nature with Saturn’s rigidity involved.

CEO Placements

Strong Cardinal Energy/Dominant Cardinal Modality in the Chart

Leo Midheaven/Strong Leonine Influence in the chart/angles

Taurus Midheaven

Mars/Aries Midheaven [Bill Gates has this Placement]

Capricorn/Saturn Midheaven [Jeff Bezos has this placement]

10th House Stelliums

Capricorn Risings

Scorpio Sun

Saturn in Scorpio

Saturn in Capricorn [Warren Buffet Has this Placement]

Earth Placements on the Angles

North Node influenced by Jupiter

Saturn, Mars, Pluto, or Jupiter as the Most elevated Planet

Hate to Break it To You

But if your North Node or Your Partner’s North node is squaring many Planets in synastry, this indicates a bit of an “uphill battle” regarding the relationship. The life purposes of two people are at odds. Though there can be tons of passion involved, two people can either encourage each other’s bad habits [usually the case with Jupiter] or Commitment may never be solidified [Uranus]. Venus squaring the north Node can indicate pain regarding love or just two people who may never get a chance to tell each other how they really feel. 

Those with Venus in Aries

Can be quite selfish in love. Aries is ruled by Mars, ruler of the 1st house that is all about the “I”. As a result, one’s loving style can be very egoic. These are usually the Takers in the relationship. They may find balance with someone who has Libran placements on their sexual planets but the give and take can feel unequal if Venus in Aries isn’t careful. Adversely, those with Venus in Libra or Mars in Libra need to take care to not be noodle-backs in romance. Love doesn’t always mean self-sacrifice or running yourself dry. It’s natural for those with these placement to appreciate reciprocity in relationships. After all, Libra is the scales. Balance. If you see that you are giving more than you are receiving, don’t be afraid to draw a boundary and set things straight with whomever might be taking advantage.

A positive for Venus in Aries is there decisiveness in romance, however. They know what they want and aren’t afraid to cut the fat if someone is not meeting their expectations. Rarely will you see this person suffering from self-worth issues. These are ferocious flirts. The kind of person who will ask you out first.

Strengths of Mercury as the Most Elevated Planet

Mensa Level IQ

Inventive

Witty

Quick

Agile

Dexterity

Easy Reading Comprehension

Excellent Writing Capabilities

Fine tuned to detail

Orderly

Funny [especially if Jupiter is touching]

Nessus in Capricorn

Can mean Dad was abusive or some Dominant parental figure could be/could’ve been a big source of Pain. in the 9th they could have demonstrated this by forcing the native to take up a belief system or secondary education that matched their values as opposed to the natives. Work can also be a source of abuse here or these natives can work themselves to death.

Sado in Gemini

 can mean one who can hurt with their words or can mentally abusive someone.

Those with Mercury in Earth Signs [Cap, Virgo, Taurus]

Find it VERY difficult to accept facts or figures without evidence. These are the skeptics. The ones who need proof. One who has this placement may think your love for conspiracy theories, or belief in ghosts is silly. 

Love Languages for the Signs are:

Aries-

Physical Touch/Words of affirmation. Mars is Masculine/Yang in nature. Code? Regardless of gender/orientation subscription- they loooooove their ego stroked. They love the fire stoked and are the ultimate Hype Men/Women. In their personal and public lives. The two languages work in tandem with Aries’ basic needs. You know an Aries loves you if they are cheering you on or giving you a headlock hug. They feel appreciated if this is reciprocated.

Taurus- Receiving Gifts. Taurus is ruled by Venus which rules the 2nd house of Money and Values. As a result, buying shit for a Taurus or showering them with expensive gits reaffirms the sentiment of love for them. They’ll often do the same.

Gemini- Words of Affirmation. This Chatty Sign loves to converse. They feel good when they’re able to socialize and exchange ideas. The sapiosexuals of the zodiac. As a result, words of affirmation tend to be their favorite mode of romantic/platonic expression. Giving or receiving. 

Cancer-  Acts of Service. Cancer is the sign of nurturing. Ruled by the moon, the celestial “mother” these natives don’t feel good if they’re not able to care for something or someone [no matter their hard exterior]. 

Leo- Physical Touch/Words of Affirmation. You’re doing it wrong if you’re not physically loving on a Leo or Telling them they’re awesome. Leo’s LOOOOOOVVEEE their ego stroke. It’s a fire sign thing. Plus, being the Lion’s they are, they need to feel that they are being recognized/worshipped. As a result, positive verbal reinforcement followed by a kiss or a hug usually does the trick for these natives.

Virgo- Acts of Service/Words of Affirmation. Virgo is mercury minded. Hence they work quite cerebrally. They need to HEAR you tell them something. Be it feelings, how they’re doing well, etc. However they are an earth sign that’s ruled by the 6th House of work and routine. You’ll find coaches, trainers, med professionals etc., here. Hence, acts of service tends to be a very Virgo-esque expression of love.

Libra- Gift Giving/Receiving/ Acts of service. Libra’s are also ruled by Taurus which rules the material/luxury. Their love of the finer things- often aesthetically pleasing aspects in life can be hit or miss for some, as it can appear superficial at a surface level. However, they, being a more passive sign love demonstrating their love by pleasing others. Keeping things charming, chill and agreeable. Venus also likes indulgence. This is why swag coming in or going out from/to a Libra  is appreciated. 

Scorpio- Physical Touch/Quality Time. Scorpios are ruled by Mars [planet of Sex] and Pluto [Planet of sex] lol. They’re also a water sign that’s honorary fire thanks to being co ruled by mars [Aries’ ruler]. As a result, these hard-shelled arachnids appreciate physical expressions of love. As opposed to intercourse, a Scorpio is satisfied with things as simple as hand holding, to a simple kiss on the cheek. Pluto likes to merge. Scorpio is also a water and 8th house is very binding on a life and death level. The most precious resource is time and Pluto rules resources. As a result, Scorpio’s enjoy receiving quality/giving time to/from the people they care for.

Sagittarius- Quality Time. Though these globetrotting archers have a hard time staying in one place, you know they love you if they are taking the time to be with you/putting their adventures on pause for you. In addition, they love spending time traveling and going places with those they love.

Capricorn- Gift Giving/Receiving/ Quality Time. These Goats live primarily in the material world so the fruits of their hard labor are the key to demonstrating their love to their loved ones. They also appreciate these things being given to them. Saturn is also father time and the ruler of longevity. Spending time with a Capricorn or them spending time with you is a sure-fire way to know that they give AF. 

Aquarius- Words of Affirmation. These are the big thinkers of the zodiac. So when they are working in their service/socially-minded modes, they appreciate being told that what they do makes a difference and is appreciated. They are also air signs so they primarily work through intellect.

Pisces- Quality Time. These Neptune ruled fish are the empaths of the zodiac. They feel everything so at times it’s important to have someone around to be there for them. That is why Quality time is often big on a Pisceans list for primary methods of affection [giving or receiving]. 

Astro Musings No. 1  Astro Musings No. 2  Astro Musings No. 3  Astro Musings No. 4 Astro Musings No. 5  Astro Musings No. 6 Astro Musings No. 7 Astro Musings No. 8 Astro Musings No. 9

[miraculouscontent]

*rubs hands together*

The first thing to talk about with this episode is the pacing, and I think this might contribute to why people think it’s the best/least bad of Season 4 (personally, I’d rather watch “Furious Fu” but that’s just me; also, this isn’t the only contributing factor as to why I think people might feel this way, but I’ll get there later).

The episode has a very serious pacing issue, particularly with its more intense scenes. There’s only one minute of time dedicated to Ladybug landing on her bed, de-transforming, and her snapping at her friends plus them leaving. More time was spent on Chat Noir and Ladybug in the movie theater and Ladybug storming out.

I particularly remember watching the episode and getting eighteen minutes in, at which point I had the realization of, “It feels like nothing’s happened?”

This episode is supposed to be a big gut punch, but the season has been going by at the speed of sound, like they’re trying desperately to play all their cards at once (Lukanette break-up, Adrimi break-up, then Alya is told Marinette’s secret identity). Instead of letting things build and play out for a while in the interest of suspense, the show just throws whatever will get a big reaction out of the fandom (whether positive or negative) and it doesn’t care how shoddily put together everything is. The first two episodes feel like hastily put together drafts, and while this one is technically more put together, it still feels like a draft.

Let’s just start with Chat Noir, who feels completely out of place in the episode. Not only does he imply that he intentionally calls Ladybug “Bugaboo” (which she has told him to stop doing) in order to get a reaction out of her, but when Ladybug insists that she doesn’t want to talk, he tricks her into thinking that he has a good location to do so (and my heart breaks a little at how readily she trusts him) only to then take her to a romantic movie, then shush her when she calls him out for it because she “said she didn’t want to talk.”

Gee, and people wonder why she didn’t tell him her secret (even outside of “Chat Blanc” existing)?

And... look, I know it’s a joke, but I do not find it funny. The “joke” is basically that Chat Noir is taking advantage of the situation to flirt with Ladybug, and though I find it at least mildly cathartic that Ladybug is unaffected by all the people staring at them while Chat Noir is embarrassed, this episode is coming right after the one where Kagami broke up with Adrien, and here Chat Noir is getting his flirt game on. I already talked about all my problems with “Lies” so I won’t do it again, but I’ll just say that it’s not a mystery why Ladybug doesn’t want to talk to him and would rather avoid her problems.

(Not to mention that Ladybug knows that Chat Noir likes her, so talking about her romantic problems with him is awkward to say the least and would come off as insensitive.)

Honestly, at this point I feel like they must be building to something with Chat, like Ladybug finally going off of him with no mercy and that forces him to give up/fall out of love for her because reverse love square, but if that’s what they intend to go for, then that means Marinette is going to fall for this guy who’s repeatedly disrespected her feelings for multiple seasons, almost abandoned her and let Paris drown because she wouldn’t tell him a secret that wasn’t hers to tell, and just generally all the other things he did????

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about it. Let’s just move on.

Talking about Ladybug and her rant next, it basically summarizes the whole show in a nutshell, but simultaneously casts a shadow of sorts over “Truth” for people who maybe missed the episode entirely (which is also sort of the show in a nutshell). I mean, Ladybug confirming to the audience that she was genuinely in love and happy with Luka (you can’t watch how depressed she was over the break-up and not think that) was great, but Ladybug’s dialog implies that Luka “hated secrets” and that’s why they broke up, when Luka was more just... hurt that she couldn’t be honest with him, and he didn’t actively hate secrets. Marinette broke up with him because she felt like she had to; because she had to keep ditching and lie to him.

In addition, what she says also hints to the audience that they’ve both held and kissed each other, which not only indicates cowardice on the part of the staff (”yeah this happened but--um--off-screen; we’d still like credit tho plz”), but may perhaps go back to the theory I had about how Adrimi and Lukanette were supposed to last longer in Season 4 but their arcs got cut (based on the Adrimi kiss having supposed to have gone off). This could mean that Ladybug’s statement was originally accurate to canon but the scenes got cut and the scriptwriters just awkwardly left it in, which is made more awkward by the cinema scene in “Truth” that felt like Luka and Marinette were kissing for the first time (again, alluding to the whole, “this entire season has been a draft” thing).

Also, if you think about what that actually means - that Luka and Marinette did have successful dates and kisses but they were off-screen - then all it adds up to is that showing Marinette happy and comfortable was something that the series didn’t deem as “interesting/fun enough” to show, because Marinette being happy isn’t something they want to see; only watching her be miserable, which is exactly what Ladybug says, along with how everything was “almost too simple, too easy,” because Marinette isn’t allowed to have nice things without being jammed through the wringer first.

And... sure, let’s say that Chat Noir thought the movie was genuinely a good idea; let’s assume that it could be a joke, him wanting to flirt, and him believing that it’d make her feel better somehow.

If that’s the case, then where’s the apology when it fails miserably? Ladybug goes from her semi-anxious state at the start of the episode (a little scatterbrained but ultimately just looking for a distraction), to outright enraged by the movie, and then to this upon leaving the cinema.

She just got her heart broken from being forced to break up with a boy she genuinely wanted to be with and there’s not a single, “Okay, maybe coming here was a bad idea, I’m sorry,” (which could’ve been seen as another joke with the audience like “lol no duh Chat Noir” so there’s no excuse not to have it) or, “My bad, that was insensitive of me. I really thought this would’ve helped but I wasn’t thinking about what you would’ve wanted.”

No. The only people Chat apologizes to are the other people at the theater because he’s embarrassed by Ladybug’s reactions, yet he himself feels no remorse for taking her there and has the gall to go on now about how he’s “there for her if she wants to talk.”

Again, it’s no wonder Ladybug doesn’t want to open up to him.

And I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that Marinette suddenly has all this free time. It’s one thing for her to have a little more time now that she’s broken up with her boyfriend (likely avoiding spending time with him altogether now), but “Truth” went out of its way to talk about all of the emergencies she had to deal with and how she doesn’t have any spare time. which is causing her to become forgetful and lose track of certain events (patrols with Chat, dates with Luka, etcetera), yet Marinette spends most of “Gang of Secrets” simply sulking on her bed. It’s so jarring to go from “Truth” where she was doing “too much” (which I called them out on for not describing what the “too much” she was doing was) and now “Gang of Secrets” where she’s not doing anything.

It’s almost like they invented that plot point to break Lukanette up and it served no purpose outside of it.

Furthermore, the scenes of her finally talking to Tikki and then deciding to live as Ladybug does nothing outside of making the plot more predictable, the latter because of the “Alya almost sees Ladybug” moment (an obvious indicator that Marinette is losing control and is struggling to maintain her secret identity due to her emotionally breaking down) and the former because of Tikki herself and what she doesn’t say.

Because, really, think about what actually goes on in the scene. Marinette (eyes rimmed red and filled with unshed tears, as she is for a good chunk of the episode) is venting to Tikki about - yes - her love life, but also that she has to lie to everyone in order to keep her identity a secret. The fact that Tikki focuses solely on the note of Marinette’s love life and not say a word about the identity/lying issue or even consider telling Marinette, “hey, this is clearly too much for you, you should tell someone, I think the benefits outweigh the risks right now,” really proves that the episode tried to avoid the topic altogether to try and make the ending more shocking (which ironically made it more predictable).

So yeah, not only does Tikki’s dialog with Marinette provide nothing except for a line about how she can’t help Marinette with love issues due to kwami not falling in love (alright, I guess aros can’t give good love advice then or have any input whatsoever), but Marinette’s line about lying to everyone being why she can’t pursue Adrien nor Luka is repeated in the very last scene of the episode. The only reason that scene and the scene after exist is because the writers needed Marinette to be emotionally devastated enough to leave for her balcony as Ladybug for the almost-reveal to Alya and so Rose would get close enough to the dollhouse to have an almost-reveal with the Miracle Box, making the scene feel further contrived because the emotional punch of Marinette wanting to live as Ladybug lasts for barely any time at all.

And it could’ve served a purpose, like if Ladybug had genuinely left and Alya finds her goggles and towel, recognizing them from a news story about how Ladybug had gone to the swimming pool after losing her temper at the cinema, which could’ve led to Shadow Moth making the girls believe that Ladybug was no longer heroic and had kidnapped Marinette, or... heck, Ladybug coming back inside would’ve been so much less jarring if she came back because she heard the girls’ voices talking about the dollhouse and had to hurry (but of course, then they’d have to point out the ridiculousness of Ladybug not hearing Alya calling her and the girls not hearing Ladybug literally shouting for Shadow Moth to come fight her, even though the kwami heard the girls calling for Marinette from the balcony).

But instead, the entire scene feels off and unnatural, forcing every part of it in order to get to where Marinette has to snap at the girls to make them leave.

(Oh, by the way, just a little detail to add to the annoyance: they bothered putting Tom and Sabine in the episode when the girls are leaving, clearly saddened by something that happened, and neither parent even bothers to go and check on Marinette to see if she’s upset or just to see what might’ve happened. They’re such a “blink-and-you’ll-miss it” moment in the episode and it’s not like I’m surprised because they’ve done this multiple times by now but really?)

As for the girls themselves... oof, where do I even begin?

Alright, first off is the annoyance that they assume Marinette’s problems relate only to lovesickness. Marinette has been an anxiety-prone mess throughout the entire series, and suddenly now the girls care about Marinette’s love problems on an emotional level rather than “we’ll meddle sometimes unless we don’t feel like it and be wholly inconsistent on how much we push for it.”? It’s not that I don’t see how they came to the conclusion (hearing that Luka and Marinette broke up and now seeing Marinette is depressed, it checks out), but considering they bothered noting that Marinette hadn’t told them anything, one would think they’d come to the conclusion of, “okay, we haven’t talked to her, we have no idea of what’s going on, maybe we don’t know her as well as we thought then and shouldn’t make guesses.”

Secondly is the “eternal friendship bracelet,” which comes off as a copy of the “Secrets” game from “Syren” extremely manipulative. Mylene goes on to explain that one is supposed to give a secret to the pearl “mentally,” yet when the girls actually show up to see Marinette, they expect to be told the secret directly. I’ve already talked at length about peer pressure and the mental stress Marinette goes through when they mock her and/or meddle for her, but this idea of, “well we all used this friendship bracelet after we mutually agreed to it so now it’s your turn because we said so!” just comes off really bad. I know the episode is going for this idea that their hearts are in the right place, but they’re really not. It feels like they’re the ones in denial and are trying to compensate by forcing Marinette to prove that they’re friends, unable to handle the idea that they might not be as close to her as they thought.

Thirdly, the show acts as if the girl squad are her only friends when we know that’s not true because we’ve seen episodes like “Befana” (the guys in the class), “Reverser” (Marc), “Ikari Gozen” (Kagami), and “Silencer” (Ivan) that all established Marinette having more friends than just them, but for the sake of “drama” and the depressing line of, “at least I don’t have any more friends to lie to,” the episode just pretends like Marinette’s friends are limited to Luka (who she had to break up with) and the girl squad (who she forced to leave and refuse the friendship of).

Fourthly is the actual set-up and the sheer grossness of it all. The girls call Marinette and leave a message about how they much they love her and how she can talk to them “where and when” she wants, and then - immediately afterwards - decide that they’re going to go straight to Marinette’s house completely unannounced, go into her room completely unannounced (not even knocking, by the way), and when Marinette begs them to leave, Alya basically tells her that she’s overreacting. When Marinette demands that they leave, Alya refuses and makes demands right back that they won’t leave until she tells them what’s wrong.

So much for “where and when” she wanted, right? It’s already one thing for the girls to invade Marinette’s privacy and demand/guilt-trip answers out of her, but it’s another thing to give the illusion of respecting her feelings and personal space only to actively plan to go back on it. I can’t tell if it’s a bad draft that they didn’t catch in quality check (you know, the quality check that they definitely don’t have) or just an intentional way to make them seem more sympathetic so Marinette looks worse for driving them out, but either way, it’s awful and I hate it. I would’ve rather had them be all in on invading Marinette’s privacy and learn a lesson in the end than outright contradict themselves.

There are also little nitpicks I could make (like Juleka’s constant mumbling despite Luka’s crush on Marinette playing a role in the episode, Horrificator getting sidelined due to being mute, and the girls’ akumatization ultimately being for spectacle and nothing else, serving no purpose to the plot and being furthered by the fact that Timebreaker goes after Marinette despite it being a bad idea and Reflekta’s power clearly not lining up with any sort of plan), but the real issue issue here comes down to the fact that these are Marinette’s so-called “friends” and the episode refuses to address their actual issues.

Alix, who is known for making rude comments at Marinette (”Gigantitan,” “Chat Blanc,” “Miraculous New York”) and then gives mixed messages by going along with meddling anyway.

Mylene, who is the closest thing to a background character in the girl squad but nevertheless finds her way into being definite voice against Marinette in “Chameleon.”

Juleka, who blamed Marinette for things she didn’t do in “Reflekdoll” and got huffy with her until Marinette apologized for said things.

Rose, who outright screamed at Marinette in “Chat Blanc” over a freaking stuffed animal, which pressured Marinette enough that she snuck into Adrien’s room to deliver her gift which nearly led to the end of the world.

And, of course, Alya; freaking Alya. I don’t even have to go into every single thing she’s ever done because I have a history of giving her absolutely no mercy.

...But let’s go through some anyway because I want to.

“Copycat” - Alya gives Marinette a script and tells her to memorize it, then immediately pushes the “call” button when Marinette hesitates after Marinette had just told Alya that she’s awful at improv.

“Darkblade” - Alya takes a jab at Marinette when Marinette says that she’s too busy to be class representative, implying that Alya thinks that Marinette does absolutely nothing with her time.

“Gamer” - Alya is busy recording the gaming competition when she and Marinette were supposed to be researching for a term paper. Alya then scolds Marinette for wanting to use the competition to get close to Adrien only to do a 180 and put up a fight about it when Marinette decides to quit.

“Animan” and how “The Puppeteer 2″ follows up on it - oh, I’m not going to touch that particular point right now, but keep those in the back of your mind, because I am going to absolutely go off later

“Simon Says” - Similarly to Marinette’s parents, Alya gives zero damns about whatever might be going on in Marinette’s life that's causing her to miss classes.

"Despair Bear” - Alya laughs at Marinette being forced to kiss Chloe’s cheek and then outright compares Marinette to Chloe after knocking Chloe multiple times during the episode (sure, just compare your “best friend” to her multi-year bully, how "hilarious” of you).

“Gigantitan” - Alya has no qualms about mocking Marinette’s over her failures, even if it embarrasses her and she’s been through enough already.

“Frozer” - Alya tries to find ways for Marinette to prevent herself from third-wheeling for Adrien, but when Marinette tries to show character growth by wanting to go, Alya gets into a shouting match with the other girls over how Marinette has “liked Adrien forever and isn’t going to give up now”.

“Catalyst” - Alya claims that Marinette is only salty over Lila out of jealousy when “Frozer” exists and literally is the prime evidence of Adrien liking another girl and Marinette telling Alya outright and very genuinely that she’s not jealous.

“Chameleon” - Alya doesn’t care about her best friend sitting in the back by herself while Alya herself get to sit next to her boyfriend and everyone else in general gets to sit where they want (Alya even acting confused at the mere suggestion that she’d tried to engineer things to let Marinette sit next to Adrien), then not only believes Lila over Marinette but contradicts herself twice (asking Marinette for proof when she has none herself, then claiming that she wouldn’t let her best friend sit by herself).

“Christmaster” - Alya leaves Marinette to babysit so she and Nino can go out on a date.

“Desperada” - Alya suddenly is for Lukanette for literally one episode and doesn’t know how/doesn’t even try to cover for Marinette’s Adrien blindness despite mocking her for multiple seasons over it.

“Reflekdoll” - Alya invites Adrien to something that’s crucial for Marinette to focus on after Marinette has already told her not to and continues meddling to the point where it gets Juleka akumatized (she also doesn’t get punished for it and the blame gets thrown onto Marinette).

“The Puppeteer 2″ - Alya pushes her luck with Nathalie to try and get Marinette to come with her, Nino, Adrien, and Manon to the museum, then traps Marinette in a room with Adrien to force her to spent alone time with him, even abandoning and forgetting about the child that she offered to watch for Marinette so she and her boyfriend can go off alone.

“Miraculous New York” - Alya is told directly by Marinette that she needs help seeing Adrien as a friend, which leads Alya to do the exact opposite throughout the entire special, at one point shouting at Marinette and pressuring her to chase after a car, in the rain, while there’s a supervillain rampaging through Paris, and all of this right after the scheme that Alya had set up caused both Marinette and Adrien to go missing.

And just saying, as Marinette’s supposed “best friend,” Alya sure doesn’t know how to handle her. It was acceptable back in “The Bubbler” when she asked Marinette about signing the gift too late and the same goes for “Dark Cupid,” but by the time we get to late Season 2/3 and Alya refuses to learn Marinette’s weak spots (unless it’s to mock her) and adjust accordingly (like if she’d already made sure the gift was signed in “Chat Blanc,” which would’ve prevented Adrien seeing Ladybug at all due to the time difference), it starts getting infuriating.

A best friend is supposed to cover for their friend’s weaknesses. Alya doesn’t do that; she meddles and often drives Marinette’s anxiety even further up a wall with absolutely no consideration for Marinette’s feelings (”Dark Cupid,” “The Puppeteer 2,” “Reflekdoll,” “Miraculous New York”).

And here, she and the other girls are rewarded for it. Luka actively resisted his akumatization whereas the girls gave in immediately, yet Marinette still opens up to them in the end, likely because they had pressured her and made her feel bad for the secrets she was keeping while Luka was willing to actually wait for her to be ready to talk to him. I can’t put into words how frustrating it is watching these girls trample all over Marinette’s feelings, not have their worst actions called out, and then jump cut post-deakumatization to Marinette telling them exactly what they wanted to know about her love life.

You know what this entire episode is really missing, outside of a coherent plot, properly-paced development, and a basic understanding of rewarding a character for things they’ve held firmly to?

It’s missing the apology. Chat Noir apologizes to a bunch of moviegoers and Rose apologizes for the broken dollhouse, but no one apologizes to Marinette for how they treated her, especially not the “friends” who got rewarded in the end.

“Sorry, we shouldn’t have told you that we’d respect your feelings and then showed up unannounced to make you talk about them.”

“We’re sorry we came into your room and invaded your privacy. You were right to be mad at us.”

“Oh my gosh, Marinette, we got akumatized and we’re so sorry for literally all five of us going after you and probably scaring the living daylights out of you.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, guess what else this is missing? It’s kind of important and brought up directly in the episode, yet the episode simultaneously goes out of its way not to bring it up again.

It’s the reason why Marinette didn’t tell the girls about her relationship with Luka. It’s not there - it’s missing - and the girls never try to pursue the subject. They talk about how Marinette didn’t tell them but don’t think for a second that maybe it’s them who have failed as friends. Instead, they don’t guess anything about why Marinette wouldn’t tell them (which is already strange considering how much they already assume about her) and jump straight to, “well clearly we just need to push for her to talk to us.”

Gonna just go out on a limb here and say that maybe - just maybe - Marinette didn’t tell them because they are habitually pushy in everything they do.

Because they would’ve teased her relentlessly about, “ohhhh you’ve got eyes for Luka? what about Aaaaaadrien~? aren’t you sooo tooorn between both of these cute guys?”

Because they would’ve meddled to force her and Luka together and gotten on her case when/if she ever had to bail on him.

Because their intrusion on her feelings for Adrien had caused her nothing but problems and she just wanted to be with Luka in peace without them forcing their way into things.

Because--hey, wild thought--maybe they’re not really friends???

But the episode completely avoids it, because that would’ve meant addressing it; it would’ve meant acknowledging that they messed up, which - fun fact - they actually don’t do in the episode.

They invaded Marinette’s privacy, insisted that she tell them how she feels (not about them of course because that would imply that they felt like they screwed up), and in the end it’s Marinette who gives them exactly what they asked of her, and the closest thing we get to acknowledging anything is Alix telling her/joking with her that they’ll help her confess to whoever she likes as soon as she tells them she’s ready.

That’s not an apology. That’s not an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Even when the five of them are about to get akumatized, it’s not a circle of them saying, “here’s how I screwed up, I could’ve done better but I didn’t and I lost Marinette because of it.”

No. It’s just them talking about how sad the situation is. Mylene has the closest thing to remorse in saying, “I hoped it would work,” but where does it go? A grand total of nowhere, especially because Marinette still takes the bracelet in the end instead of the girls mutually deciding, “okay, maybe the bracelet was a bad idea; how about we all agree on making something together instead, no requirements attached?”

And then the episode has the gall to act as if Alya has gone through character growth when all they did was put Alya through the same thing that Chloe did. I’ll explain that last bit momentarily, but first let’s talk about the whole “growth” thing.

Because there’s no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing, all Alya does when she’s finally alone with Marinette is do a 180 from where she was at the start of the episode, going from, “friends have to tell each other everything,” to, “hey, if you don’t want to tell me, then that’s your right.”

The crucial part that’s supposed to go in the middle is missing. Instead of acknowledging her failures, Alya just cuts straight to “””being a better friend,”““ but storytelling doesn’t work that way.

It literally would have taken zero effort to fit an acknowledgement into that scene. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I get that now. All my meddling’s done is hurt you and I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t trust me.”

In a world where Marinette has to apologize for everything, has to learn lessons and suffer because the narrative says so, I will not accept anything less from other characters who are trying to develop and improve. That’s not fair to Marinette, nor has it ever been.

Instead of properly developing Alya, the show does whatever it can to get its audience to root for her as Marinette’s “best friend” (ugh) without having to put in the effort of admitting that Alya hasn’t been Marinette’s “best” friend.

Remember when I brought up Chloe? Yeah, “Malediktator” did a similar thing, showing Chloe doing something awful, then being sad (while not actually acknowledging the thing she did wrong), and in the end she was rewarded with a miraculous prematurely.

One show of character from Chloe and Marinette gave her a miraculous. One show of character from Alya and Marinette told her that she was Ladybug.

(Also, for the record, I think Chloe is far worse than Alya character-wise and I’m not comparing their characters; this is just the simplest comparison I can draw here from a narrative standpoint.)

“Miraculer” is another apt comparison, perhaps even more so. Chloe got Hawk Moth in her head after an akuma landed in her photo of her and Ladybug, but Chloe resisted and fought back, ultimately forcing the akuma out of her and freeing herself from Hawk Moth’s control.

But it wasn’t to develop her character; no, it was to convince the audience of Chloe and Sabrina’s friendship so they’d feel something during Sabrina’s happy flashbacks, then lay the foundation of tricking viewers into believing that Chloe might not go to Hawk Moth’s side.

At the end of the day, it was doing something that’s “never been done before” in order for the character to earn brownie points for something that the writers can just have them do because willpower is an easy thing to just write in. “Gang of Secrets” does the exact same thing when Lady Wifi breaks free from Shadow Moth, with Ladybug even hammering it home by talking about how no one’s ever done it before.

And the pacing is - again - awful. Not only is Ladybug banking on this working when she herself says that it’s never been done, but the conversation between her and Lady Wifi where Ladybug tries to convince her doesn’t even take a minute.

It also has nothing to do with Marinette herself; Ladybug relies on Alya’s adoration/friendship with her as Ladybug (you know, after Alya took a photo of LadyNoir kissing and posted it online without Ladybug’s consent, betrayed her by putting information on the LadyBlog that Hawk Moth was able to take advantage of, and is the only hero outside of Chloe to resist returning a miraculous) in order to break from Hawk Moth’s control, because talking about Marinette with Lady Wifi didn’t even work.

(Ladybug also uses her yoyo as a portal to the Miracle Box when this has never been pre-established to be a thing despite Ladybug acting as if she knew it was; further proof that this episode was rushed.)

And of course talking about Marinette didn’t work, because that would’ve meant convincing Alya that her reason for getting akumatized was “wrong” and the episode didn’t want to do that. It didn’t want someone else actually learning something and feeling bad; surely, this is just Alya being manipulated by Shadow Moth and having the power to break free because Ladybug “needs Rena Rouge” and not because Lady Wifi and her friends are chasing after their supposed best friend and that’s--you know--wrong???

Rena Rouge’s reappearance is also yet another thing the episode refuses to address because it avoids the topic of “but my identity--”. At least “Heart Hunter” had the tact to have Kagami question why Ladybug was giving her the dragon again, but “Gang of Secrets” treads as lightly as possible on any discussion of identities outside of Marinette saying that she can’t, as if it were Marinette who made the choice of concealing her identity and not the basic idea of heroing that has been stressed over and over for the whole show.

Even Plagg of all kwami stated back in “Origins” that no one is supposed to know about secret identities, a rule that continues becoming flaky and muddled with each passing season, almost like they kept attempting to retcon and make the audience dulled to the idea so that the reveal in “Gang of Secrets” would be more acceptable.

But now, with the way they did it and how they don’t even have Tikki comment on the matter, it once again has it look like they’re making it - say it with me, everyone - Marinette’s fault.

Alya says that Marinette has a choice in telling her secret, Marinette insists that she doesn’t and goes on and on about how it’ll change everything, and then just... tells Alya her secret in the end.

And remember all the way back in Season 2? “Sapotis”?

Alya: What were you saying about her secret identity?

Marinette: Ladybug needs it to protect her family and friends. Otherwise the villains could use them to get to her.

Alya: Well, if I knew who Ladybug really was, I'd keep it a secret. I would even help her! Like say, if you were Ladybug, I'd cover for you — when you needed to transform in school, go fight the "baddies", you know?

Marinette: Oh yeah? Well, if I was Ladybug I wouldn't even tell you, to protect you from the "baddies", you know?

Alya: You serious? If I was Ladybug, I'd totally tell you! Because I tell my best friend everything.

And now here we are in “Gang of Secrets,” as if the narrative is saying, “See, Marinette? Alya was right all along, you were just being ridiculous and making yourself suffer for no reason!”

Yet Marinette had a right to keep her secrets. When Alya and Nino learned each other’s identities, Alya took a hit for Nino in “Catalyst” and both of them fell to Scarlet Moth’s akumas. Chloe was a mess and a half because of Hawk Moth knowing her identity. Fu had told Marinette that her miraculous would get taken if she and Chat Noir learned each other’s identities.

The only ones who received no consequences due to someone knowing their identity were Pegase (who Chat Noir and Markov knew), Ryuko (who Chat Noir, Ikari Gozen, and Hawk Moth knew), and Viperion (who Adrien knew). “Chat Blanc” also exists where Marinette got the impression that people discovering her identity would be a disaster, and even all the way back in “Lady Wifi” insisted that not telling anyone her identity was “listening to her head and not her heart,” and the narrative has relentlessly humiliated her for going with her heart, so yeah, probably for the best.

I hate that the episode avoids talking about anything identity-related outside of what comes out of Marinette’s mouth to make it appear like it was her choice all along. I hate that they had Tikki fixate on Marinette’s love problems instead of having her actually support Marinette and admit that Marinette should tell someone before she has a mental breakdown. I hate that the episode inserts Rena Rouge into the plot as if to brush all identity issues away so as to make Marinette’s identity reveal seem less jarring.

Now, of course I’m glad Marinette told someone. Of course I want her to get love and support from someone. Of course I think the benefits outweigh the risks, or I wouldn’t have written multiple fix-its where her identity gets revealed in some way or someone already knows.

But I didn’t want it to be Alya, because I knew how they’d do it. I knew they’d do it wrong and I knew that they wouldn’t have the courage to address Alya’s issues properly.

Those familiar with my blog will know that I’d been taking negative predictions for future seasons for a while and adding them to cards whenever they were proven right. Does anyone remember the Season 4 predictions that were proven correct for “Gang of Secrets,” specifically these ones?

- “Alya will suddenly be portrayed as a good/worthy friend to Marinette in/if there's an episode where Marinette tells her that she's Ladybug”

- “Alya resisting Shadow Moth/fighting back against him will be used to excuse telling Alya Marinette's secret identity“

- “Alya will know that Marinette is Ladybug first because "BFFs" despite being one of the worst candidates for it“

- “The secret that broke Lukanette up will be resolved in episode 3 when Marinette tells Alya“

Each and every one of those were mine, because I knew that whether Season 4 had a proper chronological order or not, the writers would not have the guts to develop Alya first and then have Marinette tell her in a future episode after Alya has properly earned it.

I knew that they wouldn’t take time to develop Alya. I knew that they would have Alya resist Shadow Moth to make Alya look “worthy” of the secret. I knew that Alya would swoop in during the last minute and a half of an episode, insisting that Marinette “didn’t have to tell her anything” when Alya had been pushy and insistent for the entire rest of the episode and the whole series in general, and would ultimately be rewarded with the big secret simply because she’s “the best friend” and that’s it.

The Alya at the end of the episode isn’t the Alya I’ve known for the entire rest of the series before this, or at the very least they turned her into an Alya I don’t recognize.

Alya claims during the ending scene that she knows that Marinette is hiding something beyond her love problems because she - as a reporter and “her best friend” - can sense such things, and all I’m left wondering is

w h e r e ?

Where and when has Alya been suspicious or worried about Marinette keeping a secret from her? What, back in “The Pharoah” where she didn’t immediately disregard Marinette for the role of Ladybug, or “Simon Says” where she vaguely teased Marinette about having a double life, both Season 1 episodes?

Where was Alya in “Truth” saying that she didn’t know Marinette’s secret but knew that she was keeping one? Where was Alya anywhere in Season 3 being concerned that Marinette hasn’t told her something? Where was this “supposedly very observant” Alya when Marinette needed her to out Lila because Lila got her expelled--oh wait, Alya “observed” that Lila did nothing and Marinette was just jealous.

What, is it only now that Alya suddenly “knows” that Marinette is hiding something else? Now, after Alya has already not known that Marinette was literally dating someone, even when Alya had multiples pictures of Marinette and said someone giving each other heart eyes and saw Marinette leaving school with said someone riding on the same bike together, you know, like normal, typical, average friends would?

Where’s the line where Alya acknowledges the problem? Where’s Alya sitting down with Marinette and admitting, “hey, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed this stuff, but I promise I’ll do better starting right now, and that’s how I know now that you’re hiding something else, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that it’s been hurting you”?

I can’t tell you where it is, but I can say that it’s certainly not in this episode. 60% of the episode features the Alya we knew from the rest of the series and then switches her out the second she’s de-akumatized for another Alya who hasn’t done anything that the old one has because she pretends like it didn’t happen.

You know how I know? Because of this absolute gut punch of a line that showed that the series wanted to handwave everything away.

“I know how to keep a secret.”

...Really? Does she now? Well, I hope everyone remembered my point about “Animan” and “The Puppeteer 2,” because I’m bringing it right back.

Considering that “Truth” has been burned into all of our memories, we all definitely remember when Truth shoots Alya and questions her on Marinette’s secret, to which Alya states that Marinette’s secret is, “She’s in love with Adrien Agreste.” Now, at the time of Season 4′s airing, this is very much not a secret, as most characters already knew about Marinette’s crush, to the point where it’d been broadcast on television during Season 2.

But do you know when it was actually a secret? Back in Season 1, specifically in the episode “Animan” where Alya told Nino.

And not only did she tell Nino, but she lied to Marinette by claiming that she didn’t, acting as if Nino knew that Marinette had a crush but didn’t know who she was crushing on, which is then directly proven false as Nino accidentally implies that he does know who it is. This is also after Alya had gotten on Marinette’s case for trying to set her up with Nino, and then she had the gall to say that she wouldn’t spill Marinette’s secret because she, and I quote, “doesn't go around making decisions for other people,“ a statement that is directly contradicted by this little thing known as everything Alya has ever said and done in the entire series.

And while Marinette meddling in Alya’s love life actually ended up working out for Alya, Alya meddling in Marinette’s by telling Nino who Marinette is crushing on comes back to bite Marinette - not Alya (because of course) - in the infamous episode of “The Puppeteer 2,” where Marinette realizes that Alya really did tell Nino that she was crushing on Adrien.

Marinette: You told me you wouldn't tell Nino!

Alya: I haven't told him. Right, Nino? I didn't tell you anything. (elbows him)

Nino: She didn't tell me. And besides, I told her I wouldn't tell.

Then, when she’s called out on it, Alya lies again, and shamelessly so.

Marinette: Why did you tell Nino everything? You promised you wouldn't!

Alya: I didn't, I swear! Besides, even if I had told him everything, he would still be clueless. Ugh, who cares anyway? I've set everything up with Nino, who doesn't know a thing, so you can finally pour your heart out to Adrien, girl!

And now, here we are one season later - and not even half of a season if you go by production code order - and Alya claims that she knows how to keep a secret.

No. No, she does not. In fact, she does even worse because she won’t even admit when she’s spilled said secret. I absolutely refuse to accept that Alya is “worthy” or “deserving” of learning that Marinette is Ladybug when she couldn’t even keep a basic secret like who her friend was crushing on.

And no, it didn’t matter that Nino was her boyfriend, or that maybe she thought it would work out because Nino was friends with Adrien. By that logic, Alya would tell Adrien that Marinette is Ladybug if she heard that Ladybug is who Adrien was crushing on and we all know how that would’ve gone.

Marinette has a right to tell her secret to whoever she wants and I’m glad that a burden has been lifted from her, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy that it’s Alya. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy that, after so many moments of Alya disrespecting Marinette’s feelings, she is the one who gets to hear the big secret that the fandom has been waiting for someone to find out about since the very start of the series.

Luka said it best in “Truth” that the truth is meant to be shared, not taken by force, but Marinette was forced to tell Alya by the narrative because Alya is her supposed “best friend.” It pushed Marinette to her breaking point, forced her to break up with the guy who has respected her agency and feelings since the day they met, and gave her a version of her “best friend” with the same name and face but with none of the responsibility from previous events so that said version was there at the right time and the right place to hear what had to be heard.

And in the end, I end up feeling nothing. Marinette doesn’t even have a “Marinette” reaction to saying it as one would expect; for her to blurt it out and then immediately start panicking until Alya hugs her to calm her down. Instead, Marinette just says it and stares silently at Alya - after blabbing this huge, very big deal of a secret - until Alya goes in for a hug (the “happy/hopeful” ending of which is why I feel like this episode also gets less flak, as the previous two ended off rather depressing/upsetting).

It’s off. Everything is off. The pacing, the delivery, and the logic that the episode uses. The emotion in Marinette’s voice when she’s rambling about how hard it is to keep her secret is so powerful, but then the ending hits and she just says it, breaking the momentum they had going. They pulled the card of Alya walking away too soon when they could’ve saved it, having Marinette go quiet and letting Alya take a few steps away in order to let the moment build before Marinette finally blurts out the secret she’s been painfully holding in.

But they didn’t, and I’m so many levels of dissatisfied. I wasn’t against the idea of Alya learning Marinette’s secret at some point (though honestly, Alix would’ve been a better pick considering that Bunnyx will know eventually anyway, and I say that not even liking Alix!), but not now; not when Alya had so much to work towards.

And now what? What happens now? Now Alya will turn against Lila, not because she learned to have faith and believe in Marinette, but because Marinette is Ladybug, which disproves Lila’s ultimate lie that got Alya’s attention in the first place? Now Alya will be supportive and less teasing/mocking whenever Marinette will be late, not because she understands that Marinette isn’t perfect and has so many other things on her mind, but because she’s Ladybug and has “hero stuff” to take care of? Now Alya will be careful about what she puts on the LadyBlog, not because she respected Ladybug and what Ladybug would want, but because Ladybug is now her best friend and that changes everything?

Because now, Alya has a free pass to all of that, the show making her spontaneously “developed” now so they won’t have to develop her later, and disappointing doesn’t even begin to describe it.