#its not a true reflection u_u

[moonsuke]

see this is why i always said i need to watch until at least ep 3

its always ep 3...

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss pmd9!

I was wondering what your insights are regarding the artmaking process and social media / the void of the internet.

Lately I've been feeling like all of my inspiration comes from tumblr, which is nice, because I create a true feed of things i really do find inspiring, but it feels like all it does though is feed into itself- i find my practice becomes extinguished when I think too hard about what I make and try to synthesize all my inspirations down into a lovely simmer.

All in all...

What do you do to keep your artistic practice healthy/strong? Is there any way that it relates to the internet/ goes away from the internet? And any advice for a healthy balance between a practice that is both informed by the internet but keeps a healthy distance?

sorry for text wall u_u

no need to apologize i love this Q 🙏 i totally understand, i love tumblr but i barely look at my dashboard anymore, out of the whole day i scroll maybe 10-20 minutes total lol, and its kinda forced cus cus i dont wanna fall out of touch w friends .. some insight on this -

dont get me wrong tumblr has brought me a lot of visual inspo over time but at this point in my life i am really obsessed w being in my own energy -w- And enforcing boundaries between my own thoughts/feelings + those of others. the more disconnected i am the more inspired i naturally feel

one of my biggest inspo is hilma af klint, and her methods of channeling, is how i try to draw now. i have found ways i can ~empty my vessel~ until visions start coming thru, which i believe r from my angel guides. thats actually a huge reason y im quitting weed lol i care a lot about being as receptive as possible. walking outside rly helps stuff come thru, as well as yoga, i get crazy ass vividness visuals during yoga !!

another thing thats a fun exercise is like, closing your eyes & watching the fractals on ur eyelids to see what apeears. i always loved doing this as a child! also stuff like, staring at the ceiling until forms appear, staring at tree bark or cracks in the cement. i have been doing this stuff my whole life but recently i heard this can be a method of channeling :o

also this is maybe an obvious one but listening to music while drawing can really help ignite a flow state, maybe a word in the lyrics will stand out to u and send ur mind on a visual path, reading does this for me too, language rly helps me generate pictures in abstract ways not directly related to what's being said/written

ultimately just practice going inwards & getting into flow state , watever method of getting there works for u, keep practicing ,it gets easier w time

But yeah the internet is really not part of my creative process at all anymore, other than to share my work. its just too overwhelming to my senses. i enjoy making art sm more now that ive distanced myself. thats just wat works for me ^-^

i hope this can help in some way <3 just keep going!! thanks for the good question it gave me much to reflect upon. Have a wonderful gemini new moon anon <3

[blindrapture]

FRIDAY AUGUST 5TH, 2011 (Don't Speak Its True Name V: Dominiere)

3:39 AM Still surrounded by mirrors. I'm not sure if I like looking at my face right now, but. It's the one I was given. And I'm not alone in this. In the reflections, two Musicians stand behind on either side of me. I see the outside.

3:40 AM Finally got out of the Sky's Neighborhood. Jesus, how long was I in there? The sky's the darker red of night. I don't have Tiger Stripes anymore. Guess that was just a thing specific to that.. "world." This carnival is empty, the entertainment powered off. Where did Bones go?

3:42 AM No one is here. o_o I'm near the outskirts of town, all I hear is the wind rustling the trees. Some of the trucks walling the carnival are slowly ticking as they cool off. I just need to.. assume that Bones went home, and do the same.

3:57 AM Walking home at night, past streetlights that still work, houses sleeping. Alone with my thoughts. What actually.. I mean. If someone were to ask me what I've been doing. And they will. What can I say? That I got suicidal? That the Musicians talked me off the edge? That I talked myself off the edge? That I don't want to be here anymore. Not here in Dominiere. If that's what an attempt at "normal" would be for me, sitting in my room, waiting for my friends to all disappear… That it took a lot to shake me out of it, a whole world injected into my head. And that I'm not even sure I've been shaken out of it? We'll just have to.. wait and see?

4:20 AM Coach Motel. Lit hallways, late at night. Up the stairs. Find my room. ..knock on the door. u_u

4:21 AM door opened a crack. donnie's face peering out. "Where have you been?" Carnival. "It's been two days." ...that explains why I'm so hungry. oh man. Two days? "Uh-huh." Shit. Well, I ran into the Musicians. "…" she's letting me in.

4:22 AM paper is scattered on the floor, soaked in food grease. remains of dinners. paper mario is on the TV. chapter 6. oh man, my least favorite. Have you been playing? "Not much else to do. I like RPGs." You started your own file, right? "Yes." Okay. "But, you do need to explain some things." About the game? "About what happened to you. Did Bones make it home?" I don't know. He wasn't with me when the Musicians took me to.. another place. And he wasn't there when I came out in the end. "..." a sigh. "Did you.. write it all down?" Apparently, yes. "Go over it with me. Please."

4:37 AM She's definitely still mad. Concerned? She didn't like the parts where I wrote about Fentzy. And the Sonic stuff got absolutely no response. But as it wrapped up, with the visions of wooden skin and strings, and the final talk with the Musicians, her hands were on my shoulders. I found myself crying reading some of it. "This sucks. I hate it here." I'm so sorry, Donnie. >_< "I'm not really sure that this was your fault." I'm not either, but I hate not being sure of that. I don't like to settle for a Maybe on my guilt. "Things just sort of started happening when we got more people." I didn't like that. I feel like I'm watching things happen on a movie screen. "You need control." I don't want control when other people are involved. D: "No, you need control over yourself. Just like I do too. While you were gone, I was playing some of these video games, and realizing what it means that this is part of who you are. The controller is like meditation sometimes. It lets you engage with the concept of control, and hopefully get used to its presence in your life."

Huh. Y'know, the controller was the biggest obstacle for me for years. Gamers on the internet didn't really talk about that much? That it actually kinda sucks to learn how to use a controller, any controller, even the best ones. I guess, when you've grown up with them and are even older than me, you've gotten so used to them that it's like a second skin, you don't think about it, but that's because all the actual gruelling learning happened when you were a kid, during times you've entirely forgotten or reinterpreted as Game Difficulty. "It's never easy to gain control. In our own lives either. I think school and family and jobs and socializing distract us from engaging with the gruelling process of learning how to control our own brains. At least video games give us some time to think along those lines." Yeah. You're better at seeing this stuff than I am. "I was much more of a book reader. That's the toolkit I was given: Turning things over in my mind, connecting dots, processing information. You were more of a gamer, your processing is more immediate but you're not given as much insight into recognizing what you're seeing." I did read some books. "Oh yeah? Which ones?" I, uh. I read all of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories. "All the short stories?" And the novels, yeah. 60 pieces in total. Read 'em in a year. I also read, like. Fahrenheit 451. The Giver. Julius Caesar. A lot of my reading was for school, though Sherlock Holmes was on my own. "So a decent, if not large, amount." Oh, and I read Halo books! "...Halo books?" Yeah! Actual novels in the Halo canon. I read two of them. Fall of Reach, The Flood. And then there was some Stephen King. I read The Dark Half, that was pretty much the only one I cared about. "What.. was your childhood?" Video games. Late-night Full House marathons on TV. Boomerang, Nicktoons. Flash sprite animations on Newgrounds. And a lot of lonely summers writing fanfic no one was gonna read. "Oh my god. I love a fucking dork." You still love me? "Of course I do." You're not.. mad at me for disappearing? "I was worried about you, you dolt. I'm still worried about Derek, but we'll have to look for him tomorrow. We need sleep." Okay. Do we have anything to eat?

2:35 PM When I woke up, Donnie had gone next door to talk with Fentzy. A shadow had cast over the window, darkening the room, so I almost didn't get up, but the thing is, it doesn't get that dark at night, the red sky is always bright like a full moon on a cloudy sky. So I sat up in bed, and I looked at the window, and I saw a person. Arms outstretched to hang on our window, legs awkwardly balanced, reminded me of a bat or a bird. Their jaw was hanging open, stretched down to their belly, a narrow but gaping maw breathing fog onto the window. And they weren't wearing clothes. Naturally, I loudly said "What the fuck!" and got out of bed like I was dealing with a spider. Watched its eyes follow me. Covered my boxers, as if I thought it was judging me. It hissed something, drool dropping from its mouth. Definitely tried to say something, ended up licking the window. But it wasn't trying to break the window down or otherwise... get in. So I anxiously stepped a little closer. Tried talking to it. Asked it if it's a friend. Maybe Salmacis. And then it just let go and dropped from the window altogether. I rushed to the window, looked down at the street, saw nothing out of place. The people walking by hadn't even noticed. Where did it go? I gave it a minute, waiting to see if anything would follow it up, waiting to let my paranoia settle a little bit. Then I started talking to the woman in the mirror.

2:36 PM She's someone I've seen before. Back in early July, on our way to the God Machine, there was a woman in the mirror there too. And I saw her again when we got here, when I was alone in this room. I'd been talking to her. She has long dark hair that often covers her face entirely, and an old-fashioned dark red dress. For a little bit, I even thought she had something to do with the Musicians, as they started appearing in mirrors, but I don't actually think she does? "I don't. That's right. We know each other, but we're very different." You know the Musicians? "And they know me." Who are you? "You wouldn't be able to spell my name if I told it to you, and I don't want you to butcher it. 'The woman in the mirror' is fine enough." Okay. "I'm glad to see you're more lucid today. You've been drifting lately. Very absorbed in nothing at all." Thank you. I'm going through something. "How's your stomach?" I don't know. Waking up to ol' Peeping Mothman kinda pumped me full of so much adrenaline that it's hard to tell. "Hmph. Maybe it's happening to your friends, then." A stomach bug? "Do you honestly think I'd be trying to tip you off about something so mundane?" Well, I don't know anything about you. Maybe you love the mundane. "Absolutely not." Are you a.. Fear? "I refuse to be called that." But, so, you're a god, then. "That one's acceptable." Ah. Okay. You're not a god I've heard of. Are you from.. Xanadu? "Now that's an offensive question." I'm sorry! I'm just trying to gauge if you're.. from Earth or not. "I think you'll find very few of us are from Earth. I'm one who likes to wander, it comes easily to me, I'm not tied down to bodies like so many others. It doesn't surprise me that you have heard of others and not me. There is still so much you don't know about your gods." Tell me about it. ..like, rhetorically, but also, if you do want to, please do tell me about it. "Well, for starters, do you know anything about the Topography Genera Center?"

o_o No, not a clue. Never heard of it. "They were a research lab, before the red sky. You'll find they had a presence across the world. But now... they're in the business of making new gods." ..like the Harlequin? "Look at the places that your mind goes. Let me speak, boy." Yes, sorry. o: "There is one who works for them, a man we call Doctor Cloud. He has found an ancient abyss, darker and colder than the space between galaxies, a place where gods like to hide from bigger fish that come hunting. We did not show him this abyss; he impressed us by finding it himself. And he is curious enough, stubborn enough, human enough to go prodding it with measurements and theories until he discovers how it works, how it breathes. It is only a matter of time before this has consequences." ...'what did doctor cloud find in the genera…' "You have heard the whispers. You have seen the writing on the wall. Listen well, child: The abyss is measuring him too, and coming to conclusions on how he breathes. The good doctor is in an intellectual battle for his soul. As long as he continues digging into the abyss-- and he will-- then the abyss will change him, and knowledge of the abyss will change him." This sounds like an allegory. Are you talking about me? "Such narcissism! This is literally happening. Doctor Cloud is real. The battle for his soul is real. And furthermore, the changes to Doctor Cloud have not gone unnoticed by his coworkers. The Genera is real, and they have a vested interest in finding anything, or anyone, who might know how to protect him." The trucks. The trucks we've been seeing say 'Genera Transit.' They're here? "Dominiere is not what it seems." Nothing ever is. "You're taking a tour of the totem pole of power, and you're still at the point where you're surprised it's a hike. Boy, you must climb."

2:40 PM I'm dressed. Going next door to check on Donnie and Fentzy.

2:41 PM Foul smell. Bathroom door's open. Donnie's holding Fentzy's hair, she's on her knees with head in the toilet. Donnie looked at me and shook her head. Stomach bug. ... Fentzy, did you eat anything strange? "Ugh... no, I don't think so. We have been eating a lot of cafe food, but it tasted alright. ...fuck, don't make me think of food…" Sorry.

2:45 PM Fentzy wanted to be alone in the bathroom, so I took Donnie out into the hallway and filled her in on the conversation I just had. We're gonna look into the Genera today. We'll let Fentzy rest.

3:22 PM Asked around the market. Tried to be kinda casual about it. Expected some noncommittal answers, and yeah there was some, but we also got some "You shouldn't be asking about that." Oh well. Had to ask around, had to be sure. Now we can go look for those trucks.

3:26 PM We know for a fact the trucks are out by the carnival, so that's the way we're going. As we walk, Donnie wants to talk about Fentzy. "She was your crush. Is this going to cause problems?" I hope not? "I want you to commit, Jordan. If there are problems, are you going to stay true to me?" I mean. o_o Yes. Of course, sweetie. "Because you two have had more time to be friends than we have. She didn't know about your crush, and I may have.. told her. I kinda had to, to find out if she knew." Well, there are ways to ask more discreetly. "I don't make a habit of lying." I don't either! "I'm just saying, she knows now. So you two may have an awkward conversation about that. And I want you to…" You want to do damage control. I get it. I promise, Donnie. It's you and me. :) I love you. "I love you too, baby."

3:36 PM Ooh, hang on. Let's stop by Marty's. ..he's with customers right now. donnie "what's this place?" blacksmith. I left my sword here. "you left your sword? you mean you went defenseless?" well, as far as I knew, I was just going to a carnival. ..he sees us. one second. yeah you got it.

3:37 PM "Hey, kid. Your sword was just what I needed. I'm upgrading all my stock for my clients. Thanks for letting me look at it." No problem! :D You said you'd have a replacement for me? "Yeah, actually, how'd you like to have two?" Would I!!! Donnie, do you want a sword? "I like blunter things. But keep the second one, it's good to have spares." marty "If you work on your arm strength, you can even dual-wield." Fuck, that's the coolest thing. Please, swords, give me.

3:38 PM hooooly shit. one sword is fucking black. the other one is black on one side and purple on the other. donnie "fancy colors." marty "Luxury craft. Call it a thank-you for arming us." is there anywhere I can go and.. play with these things? a practice dummy or something? "Plenty of alleyways around here. Find some empty cans, try to slice them up." eeeee!!! :D

3:50 PM okay this is a little detour from what we were supposed to be doing, but can you blame me??? I get to play around with two swords! obviously can't write in my journal when dual-wielding, but I was given sheathes, so I can put them away. Donnie wants to know if I want to name them. ooo: As a matter of fact, I put thought into that while I was swinging them around! This one, the black one, is Hammett. And this one, the half-purple one, is Hackett. "Ham It and Hack It? What's 'ham' mean in this context?" Kirk Hammett, and Steve Hackett! O: The! The lead guitarists for Metallica, and Genesis, respectively!! "...yeah, okay. I can see that. That might be one of your better naming decisions." What was wrong with 'Tiger Stripes?' "Uh, honey, the guitar was perfectly white. No stripes on it." It had stripes when I got it! "Did they get scratched off?" They were dirt stripes! They.. washed off. "Ew." It was second-hand!!! From Electric Town in Castleford, shortly after we moved to England! ..she patted my head. .w.

4:09 PM Caval-Arcade should be right here. "But it's not." It's an empty lot. No hammer games. No mirror maze. "No trucks." What the fuck are we going to do?

4:14 PM We turned the place over. Looked in fucking trash cans, for god's sake. There isn't even a single flyer from the carnival. I was just here 12 hours ago. I had been here for two days. "If they packed up in the trucks and drove off, can we catch them?" We can't even leave the town without hitting a wall of zombies. "But doesn't that mean they can't either?" I'm pretty sure a caravan of trucks could just plow through them. "You're pretty sure, but you don't know. This is what we need to do, Jordan: We've got to try." Sure. But there's one more thing I'm thinking of. "What's that?" We left Fentzy alone. If we're going after those trucks, we might be leaving this place. We need to bring her with us. "But maybe the trucks have only just left, and time is of the essence!" Maybe, but I'm not leaving her! I'm not leaving any of you guys! I've been careless enough! "It'd take at least an hour! Even if we did something stupid like split up, one of us goes and gets Rauri, the other stays here, there's no telling" Then, look, I'll go get her, you go out of town, follow the road, get past the zombies, watch out for trucks! We'll catch up! "Can I get past the zombies by myself?" That's why we have two swords! Here! Take Hammett. "..alright. But be careful, baby." You too. You're the one going into potential danger. kiss

4:46 PM I tried running part of the way, but I just had to slow down more after to catch my breath. God, I feel that stomach thing coming on. But I'm there, I've got to get Fentzy.

4:47 PM knock knock. "..don't come in.." Fentzy? We've got to go, we've got a plan.. of sorts. But we've got to go nowwww..... o___o she's in bed. wrapped up under the covers, face pale, cringing. because there's a dozen clear tubes coming out of the walls, draped across the floor, slipping under the covers, pumping blood and bile out of her… other tubes pumping something else red into her… what. the fuck. "just let me die… just go away and let me die…" >_< Not a chance.

4:48 PM With one sharp slice of Hackett, I cut the tubes, draining blood across the carpet. They made a startling squeal sound and then slithered away, as if alive, retreating into holes in the walls that were then quickly covered up with mechanical closing doors, false doors, completing the facade of an ordinary hotel room. Fentzy's sick. She's lost a lot of body fluids, and something foreign has gone inside. She's gone straight to the bathroom. ...stomach bug. Did this.. happen to me the other day? o_o;;;; ...hey, Fentzy. drink some water, take care of yourself, then come downstairs. I'll be down there, causing some fucking trouble.

4:50 PM cozy reception. smiling guests waiting for a taxi. Hey. I need to speak to the manager. receptionist. "Certainly, sir. Can I ask if something's wrong?" Yeah, the tubes in our rooms trying to drain us of blood just malfunctioned, we need someone to fix that. >_> "Uh." >__> "I'll.. get the manager. Just wait here, okay?" I think I'll come with you. No need to make the manager come all the way out here. "No, really, there's no need for that, I'll be right back." Exactly, there is no need for that. Let's go. >___> "…" … "Do I need to call the.. police..?" It's just the manager, actually. Look, okay, if I can be sure you're really gonna come back and that you're not actually the manager yourself trying to bolt, I can wait here. "I'll.. I'll be right back. I promise. I'll go and get him." Fine.

4:51 PM ..checked behind her desk after she left. there's a panic button. and I hear sirens approaching. she already called the police. goddammit. I'm fucking this up. It's been a while since I've caused trouble on purpose, okay.

4:52 PM Cops with guns. "Dominiere Constabulary, put your hands where I can see them!" Thank god you're here! She went that way, officers! … holy shit that worked. I see fentzy coming down the stairs fentzy c'mon c'mon we gotta go, now like, now now, really super now

4:53 PM "were you able to figure out what was going on?" well. no! not in the slightest. kinda just got the police involved needlessly. "ugh, do we have to walk so fast..." clutching her stomach. I'm sorry. we may have the police after us. "then can't we just, like. steal their car?" … fentzy, you're a genius. "I'm good at finding the laziest way forward. good at dealing with body pains."

5:02 PM thank fuck for cars. we've already caught up to Donnie. baby, get in. we're on the run from the police. "What do you mean you're on the run from the police? You just went to get Rauri!" Yeah, uh. Our warm welcome at Dominiere may be wearing out. I'll explain on the way. We've got some trucks to catch.

5:48 PM driving through canadian highway. trees on all sides. following tire marks. lots of them. heavy ones. we think we're on the trail. (god I hope we're on the trail.) stopped for a quick pee. donnie is disconcerted by what I said about tubes. even fentzy didn't really realize what was happening. she was in and out of deep sleep, just felt utterly rotten. we still don't know the story behind dominiere. maybe we'll never find out. but maybe the genera knows. back to the road.

8:13 PM The tire marks continue well into the night. They're fresh, we're following something, a lot of somethings. But it's also not like anyone's going around cleaning these highways, so there are a lot of trails. We're pausing so I can stretch. Donnie wants to take over driving. Fentzy jokes that now I get to be the prisoner in the back. Donnie took over and said I'm under arrest. ...girls. >w<

8:35 PM ..how far did these trucks go? where the hell are we going? fentzy points out that canada is a big place. we could be on the road for weeks. it's a whole other america. please, let us not be on a big goose chase. >__< this was donnie's idea. ...I need to trust her. I dealt with the Musicians on my own, in my way. I need to trust Donnie to know what she's doing on this one.

10:55 PM The trail is leading us towards Vancouver. o_o In that direction, anyway. Doesn't look like there's all that much else in that direction.

11:08 PM "The trail makes a turn here. We're not going to the city." The sign says Abbotsford. This is somewhere smaller.

11:22 PM We've pulled up. Donnie's found the trucks. "Genera Transit." But they've parked at a warehouse with no label. I had been expecting to find the big Genera Center itself. Donnie's asking to borrow Hammett for a while longer. Of course. Fentzy's got her gardening thing billhook. Let's.. ..what are we gonna do? What's our plan? donnie "Walk in there and make them tell us what's going on with Dominiere." fentzy "Ask them if they know where our friends are." And if it's all a bust? Do we have a contingency? donnie "Drive back to Dominiere and storm the place." ..jesus. o_o okay, sure. I'm gonna.. follow you ladies on this one. fentzy "don't fucking call me a 'lady.'"

11:24 PM Into the warehouse. Lights are on. Lots of little generators powering them, lots of little screens going over inventory. Charts and data I can't read. The more pressing thing, though, are the guards coming our way. Donnie "Excuse me, are you with the carnival?" "You kids need authorization." Fentzy "Do we really look like 'kids?'" Donnie "This doesn't need to get ugly. We saw these trucks in Dominiere and followed them here. We left some of our stuff in one of the carnival booths, and" okay I can't bear to listen to this. my eyes are wandering. what's even in these trucks? … pod people. why are there people in pods. Why are there people in pods? ..the guards are reaching for their radios. and donnie just cut one's fucking arm off. this just got ugly.

11:25 PM hiding behind a table

11:32 PM We didn't stop until every guard was dead. We just killed a bunch of people. donnie "They're keeping people in pods, and they attacked us." You cut off a dude's arm. "He was reaching for his radio!" I! ..yeah, I would have done the same thing, probably! I'm just saying, let's.. acknowledge that that happened. fentzy "I think we caught them when they weren't expecting a fight. Their uniforms are serious, these guys weren't armed but I think they easily could have been. This Genera group we're looking into, they're not, like, a private army or anything like that?" I was told they're a research lab. fentzy "One that needed a lot of secrecy. Donnie, we need to look around now, and we need to be thorough. I don't want to find out that there's a whole platoon of backup on its way."

11:33 PM These pod people. They're not breathing. They look lifeless. Dead? ..is that Marty?

11:34 PM I'm seeing a lot of Dominiere people here. Either the Genera rounded Marty up a couple minutes after we saw him, got him to the trucks, killed him, then immediately started driving, or this is some heady shit. This computer, in the truck. I think this is a map. There's blips on it, some moving around. It's a town. Is this Dominiere?

11:35 PM Fentzy found a door leading out of the warehouse, into a corridor. Brick walls. Industrial. Slightly cool. donnie "If that's where the trucks drop things off, then there must be rooms in here where the gadgets are used and research is done." Thank you for explaining that. "Sorry. I'm.. trying to be clear." I wasn't being sarcastic! It's been another long day, I'm getting tired, I appreciate the clarity. fentzy "guys, not so loud. we don't know if we're alone." shit. sorry. … What's in this door? Locked. Corridor turns. Lots more doors. One of them's ajar, down there. Quiet. Easy does it. Let's have a peek.

11:36 PM It's a rec room. Small kitchen. Coffee's boiling in a pot. We're all looking at each other. We hear footsteps approaching. ..a woman in a lab coat entered the room behind us, saw us, and stopped eating a bag of peanuts. Staring at us. "Uh. Can I help you?" high-pitched voice. mature. she's gotta be in her 40s. ..donnie's stammering. Look. We're here to learn the truth about Dominiere. And maybe find our friends. We're not going until we've done at least one of those. ..donnie sighed relief. you're welcome. "Did someone let you in? How do you have access without knowing about Dominiere?" fentzy "Our blades are covered in blood." "That doesn't really answer my-- oh. Oh, yes it does. You killed all of them?" "Yep. It's not a good idea to go against us right now." "Hostility. Brilliant, we're doing this right now. Okay." putting her bag of peanuts on the counter. "May I squeeze past you and pour my coffee?" Uh. Sorry, yes you can, but, is there enough for another cup in there? she gave a laugh of disbelief. "I'm the only researcher here, and I'm stationed here indefinitely. There's coffee. Help yourselves."

11:37 PM All three of us got a cup. The scientist is leading us a couple doors down, to her computer lab. "You can put your weapons away. In fact, I'd prefer that you did. It's unsafe." fentzy, strapping her billhook to her back, "You're handling this whole situation very well." "You are here with a specific purpose, you're willing to talk, and my line of work is very weird." Talking is how I handle threats like the Fears. I get it. "You know of the Fears? That's one thing less to explain." into the computer lab. three desks, each with computers, several monitors. oh shit, more computers. the back walls are big towers. fentzy, in awe "Are those supercomputers?" "Dell PowerEdge. That one's Abe. The higher-ups pulled some strings." "ohhh my goddd." "You know your computers?" "Um! Not exactly! I just think they're really cool? And that name sounds like a big deal." sip of coffee "It suffices." donnie's still tense, expecting a fight. "Sorry, can I ask, who are you? What's your name?" "Oh, honey." condescending. "Weapons alone won't buy you that kind of clearance. You're on codename basis; you can call me Lilith." donnie "I mean, that's still a name, that's all I asked for…" "You came here for the truth about Dominiere. Shall we focus on that?"

11:38 PM Lilith's clicking some things on her computer. "So you three know of Dominiere." donnie "We've been staying there for the last five days." "Interesting. That means, if you give me your names, I might even have you on our systems." donnie and fentzy both went "Uhhhhh. No." lilith's looking at them over the top of her glasses. now at me. "What about you, ska kid?" 'Ska kid?' "No? You're dressed exactly like a ska musician. Not intentional? ..will you give me your name?" … … ..yeah, it's Jordan Dooling. That's D double O.. "I got it." tippatappatip "Thanks." … <:) "Sorry, this fucking software... it always does this… it always hangs…" That's Windows for ya! "It's all modern computer architecture, all the OSes have it. What I wouldn't give to use our grant money on developing a solution for it... ah, here we are."

a lot of rows and columns, a zigzagging line graph, tons of pairs of numbers... those are called matrices, I think? "You are on our system. Your vitals stabilized from a severe panic attack on August 1st... particularly receptive to the medication on the 2nd... no data for the 3rd and 4th? Not sure how that's possible. But then you're back in on the 5th, and the pattern almost resembles a multifractal. How old did you say you were?" fentzy "He didn't." I'm sixteen. fentzy "okay." I wanna see where trusting gets us! let me be the guinea pig! lilith "16 years old, and somehow registering the curves of a mature adult, and only on this one day. Can I ask what you got up to the last two days?" Sorry, that one's a question I don't want to answer. "Maybe later, then. Okay. ..wait, you say you're looking for friends? Because I have another two boys who arrived in Dominiere on the 1st, one of them on the system and the other not, I have them in the other room." You what?? Really?? "The boy who's registered on the system is one Derek Taylor, is he yours?" YES "So they're probably both with you. Should I tell you about Dominiere now, or bring them out here and tell all of you at once?" Can. Can we do that? Bring them out?? 'Cause that just sounds more convenient. "Eh, you'd be surprised. Bigger groups mean slower information. It's often more efficient to distribute the information to a few and let it spread organically." fentzy "Get them now. ..please." lilith shrugged. "Alright. I'll need you to come along, for insurance." o_o

11:41 PM Down another corridor is a room containing large cages. This doesn't seem humane. "I don't write the policy. I see to it that they're fed. Will you wake them up and make sure they don't attack me as soon as I open the cell?" Y.. yeah. o: Hey! Danny! Derek! ..they're waking up. :D Looking at us, wide-eyed. ..you had them share a cell? "Yeah. Should I not have?" ..no? "Well, sorry. I don't exactly have experience in imprisoning people. They don't write documentation on this stuff." ...that's. fair. o_o

11:43 PM We've let them out of their cells. Gave a.. loose explanation of how we got here. We're waiting for them to get out of the bathroom now. ..god, this is weird, isn't it. let them out of cells. an unfair imprisonment. and we're just, like. here. whatever. we're all together now. just gotta ask about that damn town now. then we can go.

11:45 PM Computer room. Danny and Bones are keeping their distance. I want to stand near Lilith to ask questions. Donnie and Fentzy are nearer to the boys. lilith "Are we all good now? You want information now, yes?" bones "I don't actually care right now. Like, I'm not exactly over the fact you kept us in a cage." danny grunted. lilith "Fair enough. I'll talk to Jordan over here, then." aw, man. don't put me in the middle here. fentzy "Maybe I can get them some coffee too?" ...danny said "please," and bones grunted this time.

11:46 PM Now everyone's got a cup. lilith "The first thing you need to know is that Dominiere is not a town. It's.. classified as a town-like." everyone's giving her funny looks. "It's a branching-off of an older fossil-- sorry, an older Fear-- that we call OVER THERE. It's like a.. magical.. city." Oh, the Empty City? "Colloquially, yes. The City is, was, that's an open question, let's go with 'is,' the City is a living thing, and like all living things it is capable of reproduction. It branches off into small town-likes, and sometimes those town-likes end up on Earth. I suspect the mechanism is like a daffodil's seeds carried by the wind, though this wind is more nebulous, maybe even metaphysical. But the point is, the town-like manifests on Earth, connects its roots to local roads, and starts growing." bones "It's a.. baby Empty City?" "Again, colloquially. Yes." "That's. Hhhuh." did you already know about the empty city? "yeah. I'll tell you later." lilith "Dominiere is one of these. We designate this stage of the life-cycle 'underscore.' Dominiere, as an offshoot of OVER THERE, is an underscore." underscore. got it. fentzy "I had tubes…" ..she can't finish. Yeah, uh, we found out that things were happening to us while we slept. lilith "Right. The tubes." Was that, like. ....digestion. "No. An underscore does not eat people. People are an underscore's blood vessels. Those tubes' primary purpose is to transfer fluids into you, to adapt your body to serve as a blood cell for the operation of the whole. The fact that fluids are also removed from you is just basic physics: You are already complete packages, you are already full, so to transfer fluids in will necessarily displace the same volume out of you." donnie "And. That happened to all of us?" "The transfer happens during sleep, with no witnesses." "Every night?" "Every time that a body sleeps in an underscore." sweet jesus. danny "So I'm fine, then?" It looks like it. danny pumped his fist.

lilith "Dominiere is a special case, in that it is an underscore that we are actively monitoring. We've tagged the transfer fluid, so every time it enters a body we've got that person in our system. That's how I was able to look at your levels, Jordan." Ah. I don't know how to feel about that now. o_o "It's disconcerting, yes. I don't envy you. I'd never spend a night in that town." fentzy, pale, "Are we.. okay with this shit inside us?" lilith "You'd need to stay in Dominiere for a lot longer to be properly subsumed. I believe the process is on the order of years? Though even staying for a month would have physiological effects, you'd become used to the transfer fluid and find it easier to convince yourself to stay. You guys weren't even there for a week. Your bodies will have been fighting it off and generating more blood to replace it." The stomach bugs! O: donnie "Why would anyone stay past the first week when there's such a violent reaction?" lilith "You had convinced yourselves these were stomach bugs, from the sounds of it. Most people respond similarly. The early stages of the process are fuelled by social mechanisms moreso than physiological. The people there are nice. The economy self-sustains." bones "Wait, so. What about those people. Who were they? What about the people in the pods?" Yeah! What about the pod people? "Those are a highly classified project. They're not the standard underscore ecosystem, I'll tell you that much." bones "You imprisoned us for even seeing them." "And that's because they're highly classified. Highly. Classified." … … "..and this is where we reach an impasse. Because I'm really not supposed to tell you about that project." ..but? "But. I may need your help with something."

...do. do you. "Hm?" Do you mean. Doctor Cloud? "How do you know about Doctor Cloud?" A Fear told me. "What did they tell you?" That. That he's a valuable enough part of your group that the Genera is willing to go to great lengths to help save his soul from transformation? Or corruption, or something bad. Something about an abyss. ..she's blinking. "I'm sorry, I'm legitimately surprised that one of the fossils knew enough to tell you all this." Hey, I'm surprised the gods are rather eager to tell me things at all! "Well. Yes. There is a Doctor Cloud, that's his codename. His department is researching potential insights into the nature of Xanadu, though in that search he discovered another project that's.. the details are beyond even my clearance, though there have been declassifications of details that are critical to being able to assist him in his dilemma." There's an abyss, and he's trying to learn about it, but it's learning him back. "...colloquially." Yes. donnie "Where is Doctor Cloud? Can we meet him?" "He's in the UK." ..but the UK is all one giant rabbit hole. Uh, Door. "You.. are way too knowledgeable on these things. Yes, the UK is inside Xanadu right now. You cannot get to that branch of the Genera." ...I wonder. "No, look, listen, let me tell you what I need from you." Yeah, okay. Sorry. "There's a." raised her finger. lowered it. puzzled. "How do I say this colloquially." … "There's a monster in these labs. I need you to capture it." o_o fentzy "Not kill it?" "It is not killable." o__o danny "Not…" donnie "..killable?" lilith "Many have tried. We've been getting Genera security from the US branch-- the.. Indiana... fuck it, the US branch-- coming in waves, whatever they can spare. I think you killed one of the waves." sorry "That was not the first wave, that was in fact the..." checks computer "..thirty-first. I believe my request has been approved, and the next wave will have military-grade weaponry." huh. bones "So why don't you just wait for them to arrive? What can we do?" "Indeed, that's the million-dollar question. What can you do? You bold assortment of inquisitive, resourceful, strangely knowledgeable teenagers. I honestly don't know what you can do." ...hm. "Isn't that exciting?"

(Attached is an entry from the desk of Black Plague: “The Musician sat on the floor in an aisle in the local library, thin and hoarse and surrounded by books and papers. I picked him up by the shoulders, and he tried to hiss at me to leave him alone. ----We have a meeting to go to, c'mon. -----We don't need a meeting; I've already sent them after it! ----What are you talking about? Grimaldi, for fuck's sake, don't make a scene. He vanished, manifesting himself behind me in an attempt to appear superior. -----I will cause whatever I like. I am the creator here now. Then he disappeared once more, and I couldn't find him again. It was then that I heard a meow. The Omen purred from atop a shelf, clearly pleased by things falling apart. Naturally, when I reached over to grab it, it jumped away and ran out the door. Frustrated, I followed it through several streets-- stopping traffic in its tracks and getting many glares from drivers-- until we reached an alleyway out of view. Then it looked at me, a terribly human smile on its face, one paw now in red fur. It muttered fiendishly, ----Alright, I'd say that's enough cat-and-mouse. -----You can talk?! ----No, no, of course not. The Omen can't. I'm Ten Speed. I watch. The thing began licking itself. I could think of nothing to say. Eventually, it continued. ----I've been watching your pantheon for a while now, moving a thing or two behind the scenes-- never doing much, only ever giving people what they want, it smirked. ----You could say I'm a good samaritan. And you have been a particular interest of mine, Plague. I hear the trust that humans have in you is inversely proportionate to your status within this clique. A species loves you, your peers don't. Started to circle me. ----All because of the Azathoth incident? No, that wouldn't make sense. There must be something further back, some quarrel, some issue, that effected your separation and virtual independence. No? Yes? Am I on the right track? Feel free to speak up. Still, nothing came out of my mouth. More than familiar with how to negotiate with someone who clearly wants to keep talking, I just let the conversation unfold while silently piecing things together in my head. This 'Ten Speed' character, whoever it was, is not the Omen. Probably some kind of bodysnatcher, like the Devil. Related? ----Would you prefer if I simply told you? This is all because of the Genera. It stopped walking, in front of me, to look me in the eye. ----Do you feel nothing at that? Bridging the gap between human and Fear! Silence. ----My, you really are passionate about it. I finally replied. -----The policies of my platform have no bearing on the affairs or lives of my colleagues. They know this. ----They do? Ah, of course, some of them might. The Omen here certainly does, though it's not telling anyone. The Omen exists to supplement, after all, not to contribute. -----Will this dialogue take long? I have a thing to attend. It hopped atop a trash can to better look at me. ----I've said all I wanted to. Stuck out its red paw. ----Nice to finally make your acquaintance, Black Plague. I looked at it for a second before reluctantly shaking hands. Or paws. My hand, its paw. -----Likewise, Ten Speed. Respect the eldritch. Then the red paw disappeared and the Omen hopped into my arms, rubbing its head against my body as a cat again. And I turned and ran to catch the most important meeting of 2014.”)

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[blisschi]

Hi, can i request a zhongli x male reader angst to fluff hanahaki au where male reader was a God a long time ago who died to hanahaki because of zhongli and guizhong, but male reader is resurrected as a mortal and zhongli sees them again

Hey! I'm not completely sure if that is what you meant nonnie, but this idea was stuck in my head for a while now and I just had to write it! It's certainly not one of my best pieces but.. I hope you like it.. 💕

🌸In another life🌸

Pairing: Zhongli x Hanahaki! M! Reader

Warnings: Major Character Death, Angst to Fluff..? I think.. It's really bittersweet.

Notes: u_u ... I can't english

Zhongli turned his head towards the storyteller, who clearly caught his attention with the words that just left his mouth. Although for most people it was unknown, forgotten, Zhongli never forgot a single event in the story he started.

"Once upon a time, there was a young god who loved every creature in Tayvat."

He lowered the cup that he was holding, focusing his attention on the words of the story.

They always started out the same.

"The god that loved every creature in Tayvat, the same god that would offer everything to everyone by his love, lost life."

They always ended the same way.

Zhongli closed his eyes and took a deep breath, remembering the moment he met the young man with a smile on his face.

The man told him that he was visiting Liyue out of sheer curiosity, and that he was coming back to it out of curiosity as well.

"Do you think I could be any kind of a threat to you?" You laughed softly, turning your head towards your friend. Although you were a weak god and you were far from strong, somehow the Geo Archon decided to devote a moment of his attention to you. The moment that sprouted into feeling.

Morax smiled slightly and walked closer to you, gazing out at the sea of ​​clouds.

"Things that are dangerous, not often have to look like a threat."

Just like love.

Love can be beautiful, but won't it turn into poison in the blink of an eye as soon as you lose control of it?

Like flowers, can delight with their amazing charm, when their roots must dig into the very center of the heart, almost breaking it.

"He taught him to understand."

"The young god introduced himself by the name [Y / N]. He befriended Rex Lapis, despite different views and observations." The storyteller continued.

Zhongli looked down at his cup, half full of tea. His mind was full of the thoughts he always chose to leave to himself. He thought that from the mortals, he probably would never hear this name again.

Morax sighed softly, smiling as you pulled his hand along the fields of flowers. He never really understood why you loved them so much, but he could accept that the time you spent with them made you feel relaxed.

"You have some really beautiful plants here, you know?" You laughed as you let go of his hand and ran to one of the trees, immediately sitting under it. The other male calmly approached you and watched as one of the butterflies sat on your finger.

Maybe it was your charm that all creatures loved so much? Until then, he was unable to answer this question. Why did he choose to protect you? Is it because he really thought you were a dear friend to him? Maybe it was because you seemed so vulnerable and weak, just making him feel pity.

You lifted your hand up, showing the creature to your friend. It's wings were golden that gleamed like the light of the setting sun.

"It's so small. but it was not afraid to sit on my finger.. just like I was not afraid to make contact with you, Morax." Glistening pupils looked at you now, taking their attention away from the butterfly. "If you wanted to, I would have been lying underground a long time ago. If you only thought that I was a threat.. ha.."

You laughed softly as you watched the butterfly fly away from your sight.

"You wouldn't hesitate to attack me, would you?"

"He taught him to look up to the future."

Sometimes being weak has its advantages. Not everyone sees you as their enemy, the stronger will usually ignore you, or offer help caused by feelings of pity. Pity over your existence and weakness.

Where do you see this land in a few hundred years, Morax? It was one of your first questions to him that he had to think seriously about. Of course, he cared about Liyue, but admittedly he never thought about what everything would look like in the future.

Will he still dominate these beautiful landscapes? Will he still be able to be called their Archon?

"He taught him to take care."

Zhongli smiled, closing his eyes. He would never have thought it would end this way. True, his life was not over, but the divine era certainly came to an end. People, although weak - will cope.

A soft laugh broke the silence in the room as you ran one hand through the god's hair. This was one of those days where you spent time together, without any worries. You gently braided Morax's hair, smiling to yourself.

"Maybe you should wear this hairstyle more often?" You asked, gently tangling some pieces of flowers into his hair. He just closed his eyes and relaxed in the feeling of your touch. Your hands always seemed extremely delicate. "No? The great god who rules over all Liyue doesn't have time to spend a few minutes making a hairstyle?"

"I didn't say anything." The man sighed and turned to face you. "Why should I worry about a trivial thing like my hair?"

You raised your eyebrows and tilted your head slightly, apparently surprised by his answer.

"Isn't it nicer to look at Liyue when everything is in its place?" You asked, getting up from the ground and placing both of your hands on his shoulders. "If you take care of every smallest element.. eventually these elements will fit together and create perfection.. No matter if it is the perfect weapon.. power.. or hairstyle.."

You were happy watching your friend become attached to more people. At first you enjoyed it, you thought you helped him open up to the world. On your journey together, you met a large number of amazing beings, but suddenly one goddess appeared that seemed to take the person dearest to you away.

"The young god taught him feelings that Rex Lapis did not understand before. He helped him open up to new things, to new people."

Zhongli gritted his teeth as he remembered the rest of the story. Even though you taught him so much, he still understood so little back then.

"[Y / N] had feelings for Morax stronger than to any other being. But it was not his will that made the love strong." The storyteller continued, drawing the attention of more people. "For one-sided love is the strongest. For one-sided love hurts the most."

Goddess of dust, beautiful and gentle, good-hearted and wise. She was a weak god, just like you, maybe that was why Morax had paid more attention to her back then? Maybe he forgot that in fact your strenght was nothing, but his presence near you. He spent every free moment with the goddess. You dreamt that he could give you more attention, but apparently it was not given to you.

You taught him so much and all he offered you was jealousy. Jealousy was eating you from the inside as you saw the goddess slowly pull Morax towards her. It hurt your heart when you had the opportunity to meet a man less and less. But you yourself didn't have the heart to stop it all, because you knew that this goddess meant well for him.

You understood that it was easy to fall in love with someone like him.

"The years passed, the gods drifted apart. The young god was helping Rex Lapis to understand the newer and newer feelings that the goddess had helped him to experience this time."

You understood that you are not the only one who deserves this feeling to be returned.

Zhongli shook his head and opened his eyes, staring at his reflection in the already cold tea. If he knew you thought so.. If he knew he was slowly breaking your heart while spending time with the goddess, it would have all ended differently.

Anyway, it never came out of his mouth that they were 'just friends', it never came out of his mouth that they were something more..

Zhongli clenched his fist, remembering your last moments with him. He remembered your tears, your painful, but smiling face.

"Over time, his feelings did not diminish, but bloomed like the flower buds that he admired so much on his first visit to Liyue. The feeling became unbearable, breaking his heart, hurting him, making him even weaker. The young god then wanted the feeling of love to become something alien to him. "

He remembered you asking him to tell you one of the old stories that he once told you at the beginning of your friendship.

"Why do you suddenly want to hear it? I must say, it's not one of the most interesting ones.."

You laughed quietly, but apart from the laughter, a choked cough escaped your mouth, which you tried to hide with all your might.

"It just.. this story really brings me good memories.. remember? You told it to me when we were sitting under the same tree.. years ago.."

Morax closed his eyes and leaned against the tree, staring up at the sky.

"Well then.."

Zhongli stared at his hands placed on the table in front of him. If he himself lost his life, would he be able to meet you again?

"It was their last meeting. The young god left after him nothing but flowers, which slowly choked him from the inside. Rex Lapis never lost the abilities he had received from his friend. Rex Lapis never forgot, he carried his feelings to the end. One can only hope that after the death of the God of Geo, the two met again."

"Master Zhongli, right?" A soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, making him look up at the person that called his name. "Can I sit here?"

A joyful smile on the face of a stranger, unusually similar to the smile of a young god who left this world many years ago. The same gaze, that looked at his face with love and affection.

Zhongli nodded slightly, not taking his eyes away from the face of the newly met person.

"I see you here a lot, so I figured I'd introduce myself!" The male laughed, painting a smile on Zhongli's face as he reached towards the consultant. "[Y/N]."

"Maybe in another life, they'll be happy together'."

[taniushka12]

i think you should talk about minkowski and eiffel

I absolutely cannot lest I Will lose my mind..............

But

Eiffel and minkowski, right? Start pretty standard for wacky hijinks space "comedy" and then turn into one of the most soulful friendships ive ever seen that makes me cry just by thinking abt. Like they care about each other and TRUST each other so SO much, the way eiffel pulls her out of those moments wher the situation absolutely surpasses her by making her laugh (making her laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), the WAY that at his absolute worst situation in mayday her memory is the FIRST thing that appears on his mind... on the other hand the fact that what eiffel thinks is minkowski's opinion on him is So Low never fails to break my heart bc its Not True at all..... hes So important to her im gonna scream. (The fact that she's called him eiffel much more than officer and also doug many Many times than him calling her renée also goes hand in hand w/ this and believe me i could talk HOURS about their relationship and how they call each other reflect that but i rly need to study after finishing ths...)

The scene where hes back in the hephaestus doing silent work and minkowski goes to him ans hugs him so tight he cant breath and then the exchange of "the entire universe will freeze before you're not the commander of the hephaestus" "thats.. kind of gallant, in a crude horrible way" lives in my MIND RENT FREE!!!! RENT FREE I TELL YOU

Also i talk abt friendship cuz thats what canon gave us and it is Such a beautiful friendship, that being said they're my top 1 otp of everything ever and i think they should kiss u_u

[common-blackbird]

Started!

This is my Inquisitor (so overjoyed you can be a qunari), her name is the default Herah and I decided I’m going to approach this game by staying true to a character and not looking to do everything and be on everyone’s good side u_u

I want to make a good background for her so i’m not telling anything. Yet. I’ll just say she’s a qunari mercenary and prefers using two-handed weapons.

Highlights from today:

Studying history does pay off! This was a reference to the famous book in environmental history - Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. So proud i recognised it x)

Also i don’t have a good shot of solas but he cracks me up so much.. The guy has a posture of the typical retired grandpa (the only thing missing is to have him walk with his hands on his back). And there’s a scene where the party sees the rift and there’s the inquisitor facing it, cassandra bracing herself and solas... just standing like an old man

On a side note, Cassandra is so gorgeous and good and i already love her, i just keep taking shots of her TAT

As for varric, it’s so different than from da2, this is so much more “official” and you can see he’s the same as ever, but you’re not hawke, hawke’s not here, the gang’s not here and there’s nothing casual about the whole situation T-T

And lastly, my inquisitor has a horse now, i didn’t know that was possible in the game ;__;

played some more...

Let  me start with.... The advisors! (+ cassandra... or is she also an advisor too?)

What a bunch. I love Cassandra’s and Leliana’s faith having a crisis bc they believe that Inquisitor is the Herald of Andraste and the way they deal with it. It’s really interesting. Leliana is completely opposite than what she was in origins and i’m surprised it doesn’t bother me at all! I love seeing this whole darker side that was only hinted at in origins, though it’s also sad when i think how she used to be. I wonder how she’s gonna overcome her doubting of faith. 

Josephine is a delight. I keep using her for almost every war table mission for now. She radiates capability. She reminds me of those bureaucrats that are super nice and helpful and chill and even if you’re doing everything wrong she’ll just smile and say “it’s ok, we can fix it” and then goes and fixes everything herself (and you feel this insane amount of gratitude you send a whole separate email to thank her for her patience and help )

As for Cullen... It’s interesting... I got impression from what i saw in the fandom that he’s supposed to have had his allegiance changed and him rejecting the templars should have been him ultimately siding with the mages (or at least being anti-templar(?)), and that turning point that could have been a great way to show his character development during the game. Which i agree, only... i did not get that impression from the game so far at all. I mean, so far everything that i can remember him saying is totally smth he’d say in da2... He didn’t leave kirkwall bc of his disappointment with the templar order, he doesn’t seem to have any issues with the templars except those who go full war mode instead of trying to balance the situation. And it’s a really chaotic situtation, i love how they did it.

This line was amazing, i wish there was a special cutscene for that.

I’m loving the way they made this huge religious organisation in crisis have a complete collapse with the death of a key figure. I love the concept of inquisition and problems that it poses. I love you can see everyone’s reasoning and doubts reflect their background, but also see why inquisition can be understood as another power-grasping organisation trying to topple the templars, the mages and the chantry. Everything is divided. We got templars leaving the chantry, seekers leaving the chantry(?), rebel mages, loyal mages, rebel mages gone rouge, templars gone rouge, and suddenly there’s another organisation forming that you can totally believe is just another powerhungry force trying to get the piece of the cake by taking advantage of the power vacuum left by the sudden lack of the religious authority. (and only we know we’re The Good Guys). I love that we have characters who need to believe in the greater plan, characters who question the greater plan, and characters who want to utilise the power of belief and characters who don’t care for divine plans. The chaos is real and it feels real. I love that the centre figure of the whole holy business is a heretic of another culture. For the chantry this is the lose-lose situation (unless the inquisitor becomes religious by the end of the game). Which is why this line works so well. 

Ok, now shorter updates:

Red Jenny! I know it’s not her actual name but it is in my head. Where’s that box i delivered ages ago >_> Anyways, she makes my brain work on 150% capacity. I can understand what she means only after i go over it for 5 times.

Forgive me but oh my god, i can’t believe that i can recognise one voice actor and now i have another mental image whenever he speaks. Like, he’s really good at bringing out a new character, but when he gets more casual he sounds like kanan jarrus from star wars rebels and i’m just “what are you doing here, space dad” ;__; Hopefully it’ll get old and i’ll be enjoying more iron bull. he seems nice...

Vivienne on the other hand is like a reverse Josephine(?) She seems insanely capable but hates customer service, however somehow she likes you very much and will do everything you need for reasons you can’t fathom. Have a screenshot. So classy. I already feel humbled.

and lastly, BREAKING NEWS: aveline finally hired carver ;__;

Tbh Kirkwall is still a mystery and i have so many questions but i don’t think i’ll get any answers... If a powervacuum of the divine cause this much chaos, how’s kirkwall faring without a new viscount? Like, yeah, aveline can keep in check, but umm it’s in a very vulnerable state which makes it a good target for any invasion... didn’t sebastian promise bloodshed?

That’s all for now, bc otherwise i’ll start writing an essay on cassandra.

We befriended a bear in the hinterlands!

lets start with this cool shot

so, i have been to the mages and to the templars and... i sided with the templars.... First i was all for mages since they offered negotiations while the seeker just walked away, but then it turned out that was a trap, there’s also tevinter mages there (which is a red flag for my inquisitor) and then there’s some time magic involved (which is a big no for me), and i just walked out. Felt bad for the mages but my inquisitor comes from a culture where mages have their tongues cut so...

Also this guy deserves a medal for putting up with corrupted superiors and annoying nobles.

And i met cole ;__; Where are Rhys and Evangeline ;___;

the templar mission was ok i guess... I was surprised that red lyrium was apparently circulating around for some time, not sure if that means since meredith or even before. I love the stories of corruption tho and to imagine what it’s like to be trapped in this organisation that just keeps breaking everything it stands for

As for the important mages, i’ve Dorian twice since i bailed out on him in Redcliffe :I I love the guy, he seems arrogant yet so kind (like, no one would have carried that annoying priest and yet he did, after he ran from his own people to warn us after i ditched him in Redcliffe? man ;A;) Every time i go with “ok the inquisitor fears tevinter and distrusts this rando who just popped in” i am marinating in guilt.

and then we fight some mages and die several times but we succeed and we meet the bad guy...

Is it an unpopular opinion to say that i like him as a villain so far? i saw so many jokes on his incompetency. Idk, i like that part where he said that he reached the fade in someone’s name, it makes me think he’s not just power-hungry person(?) who’s just evil,but was originally serving someone, and he said that the gods were either gone or corrupted and he spent hundreds of years thinking what to do with whatever happened so he seems like he knows what he’s doing and maybe(!just maybe) he is trying to fix things that are wrong but we can’t see that? And of course he hates the inquisitor, he has to redo his stuff all over again, i’d hate the inquisitor too. im probably looking too much into it. My wish is that, if he’s evil, he became so gradually, but originally had good intentions? Or there’s more to things going on that we just don’t know and he does... Maybe this was his tragic attempt to fix things but he would ultimately fail and be branded as a villain etc etc. I’m getting carried away

If it turns out he’s just evil for the sake of being evil then feel free to tell me so now so i don’t embarrass myself further with plotting myself lol.

A side note, is he the Architect? Or the same? In DA2 he says he’s a tevinter magister, right? and he ceased to be a human. Also in DA2 it seemed like he was the boss, and here he said he reached in the name of someone (probably more important than him). But what is the Architect then?

And with that we reach the skyhold.

in skyhold

I didn’t know you meet hawke so soon ;__; i thought that was like, somewere more to the end of the game, since the big decision and all. But the mission is already opened and i am going to procrastinate on it until i finish every side mission :<

Also he is so sad ;__; i understand, but at the same time... all that humour now bitter sarcasm :’(

(also, very shallow remark, but i really really prefer his looks in da2 than here... it’s like they softened him. He’s more...oh god idk bearish(???) than hawkish(????) you know what i mean? the nose isn’t as sharp anymore, the beard is... what is it with the beard... anyways i get the game has its limits so it’s fine. it’s fine! fine.)

then there was the fight that i remember since twitter >:D

It’s what made me want to play dragon age and i finally reached it T-T so good! I love how you can see the both sides and everything they say is true but they’re so angry at themselves they’re taking it out on each other TAT

Cassandra later says Hawke probably wouldn’t have joined the inquisition even if she found him, and i wonder now if that’s true... At first i thought, nah, Hawke has too much of a hero complex, he would feel too responsible to just say no. Besides, he’s with the inquisition now (tho i can’t find him anywhere anymore!). But at the same time, the way da2 ends was such an iconic walking away from everything, and not taking into account the hocus-pocus rift stuff, i can imagine him refusing, especially seeing how bitter he is now. It’s also a question of how much would have cassandra told him i guess. idk, what do you think? Would he lead or nah?

another person i want to find but can’t in skyhold are the templars with ser barris. i can use them on war table missions but otherwise they’re non-existant? i forgot to talk to him back in haven but now i wonder if it was even possible and if he was even available there, since he isn’t here. I spent hours just running around skyhold looking for the guy :(

and then everything becomes unimportant bc aaaaa!! she! is the arcanist! Dagna! im so happy and proud(?) she went and reached her goals x)

anyways that’s all for now, laters

some random updates:

so i did the halamshiral and gave up to my “stick to the character” mode, and nothing went my way, but that’s life. Met morrigan! i almost forgot she appears lol. And, despite also jumping on the wagon of give-morrigan-better-clothes train, i have to admit seeing her in her old clothes was a relief after that dress at the ball. It’s not the way the dressed looked, but the way she moved in it... god im shallow

i also initially didn’t like morrigan being at orlais court of all places, but after the conversation that’s supposed to explain why she’s there i’m kinda ok with it. I mean, i still need some more info. Wouldn’t Tevinter be better? she’d practically become a magister overnight if she got this good in the game so fast. It’s also unconvincing how everyone knows everything in orlais but somehow nobody connected that the random kid that has no bakcground whatsoever with morrigan who keeps checking on him? But at skyhold she’s just “hey i have a kid, he’s no trouble, right?”  but hey, it’s morrigan. She can do anything. I’ll just have another story idea in my head.

Then there was news of the new divine that could be either cassandra or leliana and i don’t honestly know whom to choose. I’d prefer leliana over cassandra simply bc cassandra is more of a military mind, while the position of the divine would be more political. But lately every mission with leliana was spy spy, kill kill... Do we really want that for a religious leader? On the other hand, it would nicely round up her story from origins to inquisition... But cassandra is more of a public figure than leliana is...

when cassandra said:

“I want to respect the tradition, but not fear change. I want to right the past wrongs, but not avenge them. And I have no idea if wanting any of them makes them right.”

great moment. She’s usually so convinced and rash, i forget she’s more doubtful and open minded than what she looks like. Everything about cassandra is different from the impression she gives ;__; I love her so so so so much. (when she says she considers the inquisitor her friend i melted, next time varric pulls up the “seeker has no friends” joke, my heart will no longer be breaking).

I did a bunch of personal missions. Some were cool, some were ????. Also there were war table missions with zevran, that was cool. Also i love the codex entries in skyhold. The archery competition with varric banned? Dancing lessons failing bc lace harding is on the move all the time? Perfect.

And i met chargers, i like them, and aaah that staff-bow from the trailer is such a cool idea ;A;

What i don’t get with bull’s chargers is - they’re a mercenary group right? But isn’t swordselling seen as the complete misunderstanding of the qun? I get only bull is qunari, but he’s the leader of them? How is that not frowned upon?

And lastly, i don’t think i’ve said this, but i love that they added codex entries in the loading screens. love it.

update

After months of procrastination, i have faced my fears and have met alistair. it was very anticlimatic beating 11 level monsters when i was level 21...

but.. ALISTAIR TAT He’s changed... but not changed... but changed! Like, his personality is the same, but he’s more serious, doesn’t run from responsibilities, isn’t as bitter as hawke (also, why do i get impression that i am supposed to get the impression that they’re friends? they’ve met like, once, and talked for less than a minute.. whatevs. let’s pretend they’ve met again when on the run), i really love the inquisition alistair ;;__;;

Also, i managed to get that awkward demon baby family reunion :D

 know that morrigan says the vaguest generic thing “i told him his father was a good man” bc of various world states, but i also think she’s come a long way not to mock alistair, and then when he notices that she didn’t use the opportunity he mentions that the kid changed her and she’s like “pfft, yea right, you wish”....

... when she was the one who said that in the first place ;;__;;

Awwww :> I love that they bicker but softly. Kids have grown up :’) Anyways, when will alistair start paying alimony

The only weird one is Leliana bc when morrigan was introduced she was like “danger danger” (smth i’d sooner think alistair would do), and when alistair is (supposedly) in skyhold, Leli doesn’t even mention him, only hawke.  bruh, what were they to you, you almost died together ;;__;;

oh i also slayed a dragon.  I didn’t even want to fight that dragon. It was a hillarious feat of inquisitor, solas, cole and blackwall, all on level 21, having to chug all the health potions right at the beginning while fighting a dragon that was... level 13, after which i just let go of controls and suddenly everyone was hella good at fighting and slayed it (only cole needed revival several times).  

And, befitting the wild-dream feel that it had, when i got back to skyhold and visited companions, suddenly i was drinking pelin with iron bull, and he’s reminiscing on that fight with the dragon and i’m like

it was awful and you weren’t even there.

i forgot to update

but last time i was playing i finished the hawke/alistair sacrifice and all the torture i went through with deciding whom to sacrifice vanished bc frankly, at one moment, i wanted to sacrifice both of them, but in the end it was much more easier to sacrifice hawke bc inquisition hawke just didn’t feel like hawke to me, while alistair improved since the origins!

and now i remembered why i didn’t update, in the same day cassandra rejected me so i was sad and didn’t continue playing since then (i think last time i played it was around easter?)

new update

BLACKWALL!! or should i say Thom Rainier? Wow, what an arc! It was also so fun bc i was all strict mode, picking the third option, telling him his life is in inquisitor’s hands and all that, but in the end i set him free. He’s so good, a true knight T-T

Also i romanced sera. we’ll see how that goes.

Also, fave point in the game so far, i wanted, for so long, to sit at that val roeayoux (can’t spell) cafe and finally did it with cole’s personal mission. THANK YOU COLE YOU TRULY CAN READ PEOPLE’S MINDS.

another interesting thing was that after specialising as a reaver, cassandra said that drinking dragon blood makes you grow scales and become mad. Iron Bull said that inquisitor smells better bc dragon blood and that qunari generally smell better than humans. So i’m guessing qunari have fractions of dragon in them? ok...

and now i started that mission with morrigan and the puzzles are killing me lol, i am this 👌 close to just go chase calpernia and give up on a well of sorrows.

[killapunk]

angst 15 NHS + someone of your choice

Ohhh man, u_u I’m sorry if this’ll be short, but I absolutely.. yes..

“maybe in another world.”

“I loved you, you know.”

Nie Huaisang paced slowly around his room, which was far too large for just a man and a caged bird. Far too empty, too. Everyone thought the Nie sect leader, avid collector of fans and trinkets, would have a grandiose room with lavish decor and innumerable treasures lining every surface, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

No, for thirteen years at least, the mere idea of his room looking anything like how it used to was enough to make Nie Huaisang sick to his stomach. And still, despite how bare the space was, its perfectly polished floor made it seem too crowded as it cast his reflection back up at him.“When I was a dumb kid. As much as I ever loved anyone. As much as I ever could… I wasn’t always like this.”

He spoke with slight humor in his voice, the kind of humor that came with a twisted smile reserved for no one but himself. The outside world never saw this Nie Huaisang, and as long as things continued to go the way they were going, it never would. 

It felt like years since he’d felt any sort of positive human emotion. It probably had been. He felt things like triumph and amusement, he felt fear and irritation, he felt grief and impatience, but never anything quite like the childish wonder he possessed as a teenager. He pretended to on multiple occasions, to the point where, if he were being honest with himself, he couldn’t quite tell his true emotions from his fabricated ones. It didn’t matter at the end of the day, as no one could tell the difference.

“Of course I loved my brother. More than anything. And Lan Xichen was always a comforting presence… I respected Wei Wuxian for having skills I never would. Hell, I still consider him a friend.”

Birds weren’t the best conversational partners. Nie Huaisang, in his solitude, had taken to monologuing quite a bit. To the outside world he remained chatty and engaging, still possessing a shred of his past theatrics in his movements and speech. In here, it was as if he feared raising his voice would summon a demon.

“Jiang Cheng, well. The Jiang Cheng I liked is gone. Lan Wangji played his part, Mo Xuanyu was enjoyable, but you… You, I actually, truly loved.”

No response, as expected. If he’d gotten one, Nie Huaisang would probably have yelped a little. 

“For fully selfish reasons, of course. You were in my corner when my brother gave me shit. You brought me gifts every time you saw me. You even offered to set time aside to tutor me because you felt all the teachers I’d had were too harsh.”His bitter smirk turned gentle then. His pacing slowed to a halt, and his fingers wrapped around the fan he kept hanging from his wrist. His collection adorned the halls now, as he could currently only bear to have one fan in here at a time.

“I know it was to win me over, but it worked. I let it work. I wanted to keep that comfort forever, I wanted you to coddle me until I was taking my last breath, and I didn’t care if you were lying to me as long as you didn’t go anywhere.”

He hummed and fanned himself lightly, deciding to resume his pacing. It helped him think, after all. He was dreadfully bored these days; he’d never stopped to consider what he’d do once his mission was complete. “That’s why it wasn’t enough to ruin you, it wasn’t even enough to kill you. I had to make sure the mere memory of you was tarnished. Not just for what you did to my brother, but for what you did to me. You brought the lie to light. You made it impossible to ignore, you-”

The bird began to chirp anxiously. Nie Huaisang had raised his voice past what he was comfortable with. He’d let his monologue get the better of him, and it was making his heartbeat spike. He took a few deep breaths and fanned himself a little harder. The summer heat was doing nothing to help the dullness of his day to day.

“Maybe there’s a reason why I keep this stupid thing.”

He walked over to his desk to pick up the black gauze cap resting upon it. It was the only thing he insisted on keeping in here, perhaps as a spoil of war, perhaps as something more. At first, whenever he looked at it, he felt satisfied, rewarded. Then, for a long time, he felt empty. Now he wasn’t sure what he felt as he ran his fingers along the fabric. 

If he could somehow travel back in time, would he smother the man in his crib? Would he keep him from ever crossing paths with Nie Mingjue? Or would he take on a much harder challenge, the one of ensuring that little Meng Yao never sought approval from his father and remained happy where he was, with someone who loved him for him, even if the reasoning behind the love was shallow?

Most days the thought caused him to scoff, but today, as movement picked up all around him in preparation for the night’s banquet, all it got from him was a sigh. 

[heyxliar-blog]

"How is it you never notice that you're slowly killing me?" ( atlas to jun u_u )

        — THE tension was all around them, burning Jungwon’s skin like a flame scorching him to the bone. Everything that he had known; everything that they were...it had all came crashing down around them and there was no way for him to stop it. It started out with the small bickers about piddly little things, like whose turn it was to take out the trash or who left out the milk. Then it slowly started to escalate to screaming fits about who was where and when, and with who, and what they had been doing. Jungwon didn’t mean to do it...he really didn’t. But within the chaos of their heightened voices and pointing fingers, a sudden anger equal to that of a bull with a red cape waving in its face crashed over him, and he felt the need to use his horns to stop it. That was the first night that Jungwon struck Atlas. His heart had crumbled into millions upon millions of pieces before sinking to the pit of his stomach and dissolving in the acid when he had walked out the door in the aftermath. Jungwon didn’t return for days, secluding himself in the alleyway he used to call home before he and Atlas had found one of their own. Time had passed since then, and Jungwon and Atlas attempted to fix what was left of their relationship, and while it worked for awhile, it was short lived. Within a matter of weeks, they were back to square one when Jungwon uncapped the rage he had been keeping bottled up and hidden away. The one smack to Atlas’s cheek that night had turned to two, then three, then four more...until the skin of the boy he loved matched that of his universe he claimed him to be.

          And it didn’t stop there. Every fight they had ended up the same. Jungwon would yell and scream until he was blue in the face, smack Atlas around until he was satisfied, walk out for a few hours to reflect on his life and the choices he had made, and then he would return to a broken boy and apologize profusely to him with tears in his eyes while promising him a better future. It went without saying that he was the worst at keeping his promises. Tonight was no different. Jungwon sat on the edge of the bed next to Atlas, the boy’s back turned to him so he couldn’t see the damage he had done. It made no difference though, because every time Jungwon looked down at his hands, pain rippled throughout his entire being at the sight of Atlas’s blood dried and stained on his knuckles. It was morbid, but he wished it was his own after tearing his beating heart out of his chest. In moments like these, he knew it would be better off for Atlas if he was dead, or never had been born at all. Jungwon threaded his bottom lip through his teeth, silent tears rolling down his cheeks and reminding him of how much the open wounds on Atlas’s face must be stinging from shedding his own tears. His throat was dry from the amount of times he had apologized to the other and made his empty promises, but now they sat in an uncomfortable silence that made Jungwon’s skin crawl. The seconds ticked by endlessly until he had decided that it was best that he call it a night, but before he could get under the blankets, his ears perked from Atlas’s voice finally cutting through the wordless atmosphere. His voice was soft and trembling, laced with pain, but stern enough to almost knock Jungwon back like a tidal wave.

          “ How is it that you never notice that you’re slowly killing me? “

          Jungwon froze, the oxygen escaping his lungs and making his chest grow tight. All this time, Atlas had never said anything like this, but Jungwon knew it to be all too true. He knew he was hurting Atlas, killing him slowly but surely...but god, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. The silence stretched on again for a solid minute before Jungwon sucked in a sharp breath, robotic movements of his limbs guiding him into a laying position on the bed and settling into the mattress where he had made love to Atlas the night before. “ I know I am, “ he whispered, his eyes glossy and raking over the other’s form, hand hesitantly reaching out to him. “ But sometimes...I think that maybe... “ His words trailed off as his voice grew softer, his heartbeat echoing in his ears and his hand opting to settle in the space between them. He swallowed softly, wishing more than anything, that those stories about finding the light at the end of the tunnel were true. “ ...love can do that to people. “

[taniushka12]

I posted 11.219 times in 2021

794 posts created (7%)

10425 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 13.1 posts.

I added 4309 tags in 2021

#q - 1076 posts

#tani's personal shit - 854 posts

#wwdits - 680 posts

#hollow knight - 376 posts

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#infinity train - 204 posts

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Longest Tag: 141 characters

#some of you never had a crackot3 w/ an extense background constructed for it to make sense and only pull like two ppl into your gospel 😔😔😔

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

i think you should talk about minkowski and eiffel

I absolutely cannot lest I Will lose my mind..............

But

Eiffel and minkowski, right? Start pretty standard for wacky hijinks space "comedy" and then turn into one of the most soulful friendships ive ever seen that makes me cry just by thinking abt. Like they care about each other and TRUST each other so SO much, the way eiffel pulls her out of those moments wher the situation absolutely surpasses her by making her laugh (making her laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), the WAY that at his absolute worst situation in mayday her memory is the FIRST thing that appears on his mind... on the other hand the fact that what eiffel thinks is minkowski's opinion on him is So Low never fails to break my heart bc its Not True at all..... hes So important to her im gonna scream. (The fact that she's called him eiffel much more than officer and also doug many Many times than him calling her renée also goes hand in hand w/ this and believe me i could talk HOURS about their relationship and how they call each other reflect that but i rly need to study after finishing ths...)

The scene where hes back in the hephaestus doing silent work and minkowski goes to him ans hugs him so tight he cant breath and then the exchange of "the entire universe will freeze before you're not the commander of the hephaestus" "thats.. kind of gallant, in a crude horrible way" lives in my MIND RENT FREE!!!! RENT FREE I TELL YOU

Also i talk abt friendship cuz thats what canon gave us and it is Such a beautiful friendship, that being said they're my top 1 otp of everything ever and i think they should kiss u_u

26 notes • Posted 2021-06-07 18:10:00 GMT

#4

nothing funnier than using the spanish name for ppl that aren't from spanish speaking countries. Carlos Marx. Alberto Einstein. Cracks me up everytime

40 notes • Posted 2021-08-20 14:42:59 GMT

#3

Jon in 1C and 2B (black)? 👀

A jon in fancy clothes for you anon u_u (feat a cat picture, sent by whom? zoom the pic :) )

[from this outfit meme!]

89 notes • Posted 2021-01-08 22:07:32 GMT

#2

honestly i think infinity train should be up there with over the garden wall as those pieces of animated media that you watch in a few hours and then never stop thinking abt it the rest of your life, like Sure infinity train is much lighter than otgw (at least the first season, and also overall aesthetic) but its still a little gem.... the three stories of it are so good, i watched it a couple of months ago but soon ill need a rewatch bc i love it ;_; ;o;

635 notes • Posted 2021-02-05 20:02:34 GMT

#1

nobody asked but if anyone is curious here’s the torrent to the newest 2021 photoshop! :)

866 notes • Posted 2021-01-23 04:41:08 GMT

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