#its not Just them. its how iron bull is written in general. its how the qunari are so widely percieved to be animalistic and hulking and

[abyssal-ilk]

getting all of the banter dialogue for dorian and bull so they can be a couple in dai is so... ugh. there is some genuinely wonderful stuff to explore in their dynamic, with iron bull abandoning the qun and dorian leaving tevinter and what it means to have done that and finding themselves as people, but. christ. the fetishization and oversexualization of the qunari in da is fucking hair tearingly painful, and it is at its most obvious with iron bull and dorian. really hoping that something changes for the taash romance, but i am,, kind of doubtful.

[daitranscripts]

What Pride had Wrought Pt. 12a

Confronting Calpernia

What Pride had Wrought Masterpost First: Speaking With Morrigan First: Meeting Kieran Previous: Petitioner's Chambers

The party enters a large open area full of trees and greenery. The Well of Sorrows is visible in the distance.

PC: The Well of Sorrows!

Party Comments:

Vivienne: Finally!

Blackwall: Maker’s balls!

Solas: So Mythal endures.

Cole: It’s loud. And so cold.

Cassandra: Andraste guide us.

Iron Bull: That’s… something.

Dorian: How has such magic lasted?

The proceed down tht stairs to the chamber floor.

Calpernia: I want them dead before the Master arrives!

Magister: Caltora virethen!

Calpernia: I will swim if I must! The Well demands a vessel!

Venatori kill the remaining sentinels in the room. Calpernia guestures towards the Well, reaching for it.

Calpernia: So close. The Well knows its Vessel…

The party runs in.

Calpernia: … and those who would despoil it. (Sighs.) Stand aside, Inquisitor.

Choice dependent dialogue:

Completed Under Her Skin [1]

Did not complete Under Her Skin [2]

1 - Completed Under Her Skin

Calpernia: The trials you set me, I have overcome. As a courtesy—leave now, or not at all.

Dialogue options:

General: We need to talk. [3]

General: It’s a little late for that. [4]

General: You’ve been duped. [5]

3 - General: We need to talk. PC: No, Calpernia. We have things to discuss. Calpernia: True. I did not think you so civilized. [6]

4 - General: It’s a little late for that. PC: Do you truly believe we can dismiss our armies with a handshake, Calpernia? Calpernia: What I offer may be their only chance to survive. [6]

5 - General: You’ve been duped. PC: Your lust for power has blinded you, Calpernia. Corypheus is using you. Calpernia: Think on your own folly, before inventing more. [6]

6 - Scene continues.

Calpernia: You serve your people—you have one last chance to save them. The Well of Sorrows overflows with knowledge, power abandoned by those the elves worshipped as gods. To walk the Fade without the Anchor–that is what the Well of Sorrows will give Corypheus.

Dialogue options:

General: That will end in disaster! [7]

General: Why are you the Vessel? [8]

General: Not if I take the Well first. [9]

7 - General: That will end in disaster! PC: Why would Corypheus think entering the Fade will work any better than last time? Calpernia: Speech without understanding. [10]

8 - General: Why are you the Vessel? PC: If that’s the case, why isn’t Corypheus clawing at the Well? Calpernia: I will carry it, like a jug brimming, for his use. Can you not see? [10]

9 - General: Not if I take the Well first. PC: So if I take that power before him, Corypheus will be left empty-handed. Calpernia: Simple fool. [10]

10 - Scene continues.

Calpernia: I knew you would take the Well for yourself, to ransack its wisdom to try to defeat Corypheus. But you’d still be just a child, playing with a sword. Corypheus will wield it as a master.

Dialogue options:

General: I’d rather just kill you. [11]

General: Corypheus plans to bind you. [12]

11 - General: I’d rather just kill you. PC: You’re not getting the Well while one of us still breathes. [23]

12 - General: Corypheus plans to bind you. PC: Once you’ve drunk from the Well, Corypheus will use a ritual on you. You’ll be a mindless tool, enslaved to his will.

Calpernia: That… where I come from, idle tales must be proven.

PC: Here, the page with his binding ritual. He tried it on your master, Erasthenes.

Calpernia: How could you know… ? And these runes. No one has written in these since… He made so many promises. And every one, a lie! Venhedis kaffan vas!

Calpernia: He was to give Tevinter a true leader! If Corypheus would misuse me, he’d misuse them too. I was blind!

13 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: You did this for Tevinter? [14]

General: Then rebuild Tevinter. [15] + Dorian Greatly Approves + Blackwall Slightly Approves + Vivienne Slightly Approves - Sera Slightly Disapproves - Cassandra Slightly Disapproves - Iron Bull Slightly Disapproves - Solas Slightly Disapproves

General: I still have to destroy you. [16]

14 - Investigate: You did this for Tevinter? PC: That’s why you joined Corypheus? To see Tevinter rebuilt? Calpernia: To see her reborn. Slaves allowed their true potential. Corruption excised. Tevinter was the cradle of civilization. Imagine what her future could be. A crafter of wonders, standing against the savage Qunari. A beacon for all. [back to 13] 15 - General: Then rebuild Tevinter PC: Perhaps Tevinter does need a strong leader. Be that woman, while you still can. Calpernia: You mock me, Inquisitor. As if you’d let me walk away. Party comments:

Cassandra: The Inquisitor is showing you great mercy, mage. Do no waste it.

Dorian: It’s a good idea. Maker knows we could use a reformer or ten back home.

Vivienne: Our Inquisitor rarely makes idle offers, darling. I encourage you to take it.

PC: If that’s your wish, I won’t stop you. Calpernia: If Corypheus triumphs… listen. If any power can challenge him, it lies in the Well. Perhaps its price is too high. But if you can take it… humble him. Vitae benefaria, Inquisitor. Do not follow us. I will give you some time. I go to confront my master. Then I will return to Tevinter… if there is anything left of me. The Venatori and Calpernia leave. Scene ends. 14 - General: I still have to destroy you. PC: You know the truth of Corypheus’s betrayal. You’ll die knowing it. Calpernia: Come, then. One last sacrifice! [23]

2 - Did not complete Under Her Skin

PC: And you are–?

Calpernia: I’m called Calpernia. But when I partake of the Well, names will be meaningless. Leave. This is not your time.

Dialogue options:

General: Stop. Too many have died. [15]

General: Me? You blasted in here! [16]

General: You’re not getting the Well. [17]

15 - General: Stop. Too many have died. PC: Your hunt for the Well claimed, elves, templars, your mages–it has to end. Calpernia: Perhaps you see further than I thought. [18]

16 - General: Me? You blasted in here! PC: I might have taken you seriously if you hadn’t blown a path through the temple. Calpernia: Any force that might have cared is dust and ashes. [18]

17 - General: You’re not getting the Well. PC: Take one step toward that Well, and I’ll finish you. [18]

18 - Scene continues.

Calpernia: You serve your people–you have one last chance to save them. The Well of Sorrows overflows with knowledge, power abandoned by those the elves worshipped as gods. To walk the Fade without the Anchor–that is what the Well of Sorrows will give Corypheus.

Dialogue options:

General: That will end in disaster! [19]

General: Why are you the Vessel? [20]

General: Not if I take the Well first. [21]

19 - General: That will end in disaster! PC: Why would Corypheus think entering the Fade will work any better than last time? Calpernia: Speech without understanding. [22]

20 - General: Why are you the Vessel? PC: If that’s the case, why isn’t Corypheus clawing at the Well Calpernia: I will carry it, like a jug brimming, for his use. Can you not see? [22]

21 - General: Not if I take the Well first. PC: So if I take that power before him, Corypheus will be left empty-handed. Calpernia: Simple fool. [22]

22 - Scene continues.

Calpernia: I knew you would take the Well for yourself, to ransack its wisdom to try to defeat Corypheus. Come, then. One last sacrifice! [23]

23 - Scene continues.

The party fights Calpernia, the Venatori, and elvhen sentinels.

Calpernia: Stop them! Calpernia: Do not let them pass!

Calpernia: You should have fallen with Haven! Calpernia: Burn! Calpernia: You will be naught but ashes! Calpernia: To the Void with you!

Calpernia summons some demons into the fray.

Calpernia: Come forth! Calpernia: To my side!

If the PC dies: Calpernia: You should have surrendered, Adaar! Calpernia: You cannot win, Lavellan! Calpernia: You never should have come here, Trevelyan! Calpernia: It ends here, Cadash!

When Calpernia’s health gets low: Calpernia: No! (Coughs.) No!

The party defeats her. As they approach, Calpernia fade steps away.

Calpernia: If I fall, it will not be by your hand.

She escapes, throwing herself down the waterfall and into the depths below.

(The dialogue file is titled “Escape”, unlike Samson’s file which is named “Defeat.” Make of that what you will!)

Next: Abelas

[sasquatchsightings]

Adding my two cents:

On the one hand, I get that they need to make the game approachable for new people. You don’t want characters spouting off proper nouns all over the place without proper context. And with it being a decade later, there are some choices that can be negated or left out as not being important. I’m not denying that. (I will set aside how many people I’ve seen streaming the series on Twitch and posting vids of their first playthrough on Twitter, due to comparisons to BG3, but I feel like there are plenty of newbies who are CURRENTLY in the process of becoming fans who are going to be very salty when they get their shiny new copy of DATV.)

Plus I feel they want to create as much of a clean cut as they can from the original trilogy to avoid what I’m calling the Pokemon Problem. Pokémon’s issue with its premise is that if each game is in a new area and new areas necessitate new characters (ie the Pokemon) to interact with as the main gameplay mechanic, then they can either make each region totally separate or constantly add about 100 new ‘mons to the roster every generation and have to juggle an exponentially growing number of possible team combinations. Dragon Age logistically can’t keep giving us ever more complicated branching paths for an ever increasing number of blorbos without spending a huge amount of dev time trying to write just those paths and how to give players an update on all those quantum characters.

But to give us so little to tie over when responsiveness to player choice has always been a key aspect of the series is bonkers. The excuse I keep seeing is “it’s 10 years later and we’re in the North, so nothing we did matters.” Excuse me, but the Waking Sea isn’t a fucking Iron Curtain. Orlais is a political powerhouse who trades with literally everyone, and the legacy of Queen Asha of Antiva ensures that all the ruling families are both connected by politics and by blood.

And to say those choices don’t matter means we won’t so much as get a Codex entry or an NPC conversion about what happened in regards to our choices without it being written in the most neutral, passive language. Like, if we’re in Nevarra, it would be pretty conspicuous for no one anywhere to comment on their neighboring country if a war hawk is on the throne or if they’ve radically changed their stance on elves.

Not to mention that “the North” isn’t just Tevinter. Antiva, Nevarra, and allegedly Rivain are all part of the SOUTHERN Chantry, so who is Divine still applies. You can’t tell me that a softened Leliana reacted to the invasion of Qunari in Antiva and responded in the exact same way as she would have had she been hardened, and in the same way as Cassandra AND Vivienne. And you can’t tell we spent all that time getting her elected only for her to abdicate the throne in under 10 years. 

The Morrigan thing, I can see how they can bend the lore to make the Well not matter, if maybe the effect was temporary due to Flemmeth dying, but it still would beg the question how Morrigan gained all her knowledge. If she doesn’t drink from the Well, she never becomes fluent in elvish. If she does, that is what gives her the ability to turn into a dragon, so if she does that in a world where she didn’t drink, that will be odd. And many people have brought up how she is going to be “surprisingly involved” in the story, so that also begs the question of where is Kieren.

And another thing! One of the choices is who you romanced, but there isn’t anything about their fate. This is probably fine for a few of the romance options, but several of them have the chance to end in tragedy, especially Bull, Cullen, and Blackwall. Plus Cassandra can be a romance option AND the Divine. If we meet the Inquisitor and they talk about loving Cassandra, is no one going to bring up that “Hey, Cassandra Pentaghast? Isn’t that Divine Victoria’s proper name?” To me, the only way of squaring this is that the romance option question is stealthily just asking “did you romance Solas: yes or no?” And I get that he’s popular in the fandom, but people who haven’t been rabidly talking about the egg for the past decade probably just remember him as the nerdy elf who turns out to be the guy who started all the bad stuff in DAI, because his romance is locked behind a subset of a subset of a subset of the players. So making two of the three choices exclusive to his story is…a choice.

Folks, I gotta be real with you: Yes I too am disappointed that there aren't more choices carrying over in The Veilguard from the last three games, but I think the current fandom rage is a little over the top. It's not the end of the world. Can we just take a breath for a second and remember that this new game is set in Northern Thedas, where 99% of decisions made in Southern Thedas ten or more more years ago of course aren't going to matter, if you think about it? And on a meta level, I imagine the goal is to make this game as friendly as possible to brand new players, not out of spite towards existing fans.

[zevranunderstander]

i dont really wanna start beef w this but the companions from dragon age inqusition are all so shallow in how they are written tbh?

like. in dao you had characters like zevran, who never expresses his real thoughts and emotions and who you could read as a completely diffrent person if you didn't put actual effort in getting to know him and who has so much complexity to him and his own relationship to his past is *so* interesting to explore. or anders, who slowly develops from a person who wants to help and do good into a deeply resentful and bitter representation of vengeance who sees no other way out than to commit a brutal act of terrorism. or alistair, who is almost a complete inversion of the "rightful heir returns home" trope, who is nothing like you imagine him to be when you first meet him. or isabela, who lies to you from the moment you first meet her and who starts to regret what she did and actually trust you enough to put her life in your hands.

i could go on forever with this, actually, but in the first two games, almost every companion has a very insteresting depth to them that makes them a fully diffrent person than you might expect them to be

and in inquisition, all characters feel lowkey shallow in comparison? first of all, almost nothing the characters do ties into the main story? the stories in dao and da2 would be fundamentally different without your companions, especially da2 is almost entirely character-driven. and the character quests in dai are literally just random, plot un-related stuff. like. its cool that blackwall was a grey warden or that the iron bull secretly is a spy, i guess, but what does it add to the plot of the game? what made it so cool that isabela and anders were lying to you was how *you* suffered their consequences. what they did didn't just tie into the main plot, *you* were associated with them and *you* had to deal with the fallout of their actions. and it's like, cool that blackwall has this dark past but there are no stakes for you in this. why *wouldn't* you sympathize with him and forgive him? the game tries to paint these moments as "*gasp* you lied to me!", but really, this is nothing like the betrayal you feel when isabela basically hands you out to the qunari and runs away and you have to work this out with her

and there is so little to discover about the dai companions, too? like, i think the only character i really like in dai is vivienne, because she is the only character that has some depth to her you can explore. i still don't think vivienne can hold up to most characters in older games, but she actually has motives and if you get to know her, you actually change your opinion of her a bit and while her character quest also has zero impact on the main plot, she still made sense to me as a character and didn't feel completely one-dimensional.

im mainly making this post, because dai was my first dragon age game and i found a lot of old fanart recently and back then i *really* liked dorian. and that got me thinking for a moment because now, like 5 years later, i don't really give a shit about dorian anymore? like, i played dao and da2 after dai and there is so little to his character. his whole plot basically revolves around him being gay, his only character traits actually seem to be that he's a genius mage and, more importantly, that he's gay.

and like, his character almost feels regressive to how sexuality wasn't even a topic in romance in dao and *especially* in da2? and dai almost post-adds homophobia and coversion therapy into a series that didn't really need to have a homophobia problem, just to be like "see? we're being deep and serious right here!", and his story is, like all character quests, very predictable and very generic? and aside from that, there isn't that much to learn about him. most of his other dialogue is either sassy disses of other characters or lore dumps about tevinter that aren't all that related to him

this also brings me to my next point. you don't have an actual group dynamic? like, yeah you can sometimes *ask* a character what he thinks of another character but there isn't much interaction between the companions? like, yeah, some characters are friends/like each other, like sera and blackwall or dorian and the iron bull, but? like, you don't really intiutively know what cassandra thinks of vivienne or what blackwall thinks of dorian or if they have ever even been in the same room or spoken to each other.

da2 obviously excels at the whole group dynamic writing, but also dao (which was way less character driven than da2) put a lot of effort in the dynamic characters had. like, banter in dao usually was used to show how 2 characters interacted with each other, like zevran's and wynne's interactions being about them trying to make eachother incredibly uncomfortable, or alistair and morrigan berating each other - it gave you a very clear idea of what it might be like when you all sit by the campfire and talk. you know stuff like that alistair doesn't trust zevran, that leliana tries to be friends with morrigan, that ohgren feels like wynne is looking down at him, etc. there is very little like that happening in inquisition and banter often is just one continuous joke, like vivienne and dorian making fun of solas' clothing and demeanor or sera making silly jokes to everyone she talks to and somehow you feel like these people just dont talk to each other at all when you aren't around.

say what you want about some characters in da2 hating each other for 10 years straight and still being in the same friend group but when you went to do a quest for merrill, she would be chilling with isabela or anders and varric would be playing cards or your family was up to some shit again, but it felt like all of these people would actually regularly hang out with each other? and in dai these people all live in the same fucking castle and you see them being away from their standart spot maybe once? there is one scene where they all play cards together but tbh for me it did the opposite of what the game wanted me to feel in that moment because i was confornted with "wait, dorian and blackwall really exist in the same world and in the same building? sera and leliana exist in the same game?"

like this game sucks at writing characters and tbh im bitter and i have actually zero hopes for dragon age dreadwolf bc dai feels like a cheap copy of the other two games that really is frustratingly mediocre in every way. like, there is really no aspect of inquisition that it actually excels at or a thing it does better than the older games and dreadwolf seems to want to go in the same direction like dai with the plot being suddenly all about solas and the end of the world and. tbh. i don't think they will pull this off in a way that won't genuinely frustrate me

[hoiist]

Sera and Iron Bull for the character meme!

Sera:

favorite thing about them: absolutely stupid 20 something, I love it. Shes such a pain in the ass

least favorite thing about them: She was written to hate her own kind, I know that the lady who raised her didnt do it right, but its just kinda like young stupid teenager though but you should be able to talk to her about it a bit more. Not sure how or why but just hating on the dalish is just kinda not needed.

favorite line: every single time she laughs. but also when shes in the hiss wastes "Wow, that's… so much nowhere."

brOTP: Dorian/ Sera, Bull/Sera

OTP: Dagna/Sera & Inky/Sera

nOTP: any time she is with a male

random headcanon: Blackwall is the cloest thing Sera had to a parent figure she liked, and with Dorian and Bull being brothers she actually loves having a family. She also has a Dracolisk called Daisy

unpopular opinion: As much as she hates on the dalish I generally love everything that comes out of her mouth. Like I have seen people her age age the same way and it makes me laugh. Like people Hate on her but its fairly on point for people I've met irl.

song i associate with them: KOOL by BENEE (no idea why)

favorite picture of them:

everytime i draw her its my favourite drawing of her

Iron Bull

favorite thing about them: BIG TIDDIES

least favorite thing about them: n/a

favorite line: Iron Bull: You know, Seeker, I really like hitting things. Cassandra: So I'd gathered. Iron Bull: I knew you'd understand!

brOTP: Cassandra/Bull, Blackwall/Bull, Sera/Bull

OTP: Inky/Bull, Weirdly Cass/Bull (no I will not elaborate)

nOTP: dunno

random headcanon: Bull and Krem got the launch the stuff nugs and Sera shoots them from afar

unpopular opinion: A lot of people really characterize him wrong

song i associate with them: Run for Cover by The Killers or Juice by Lizzo

favorite picture of them:

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off

Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes. 

Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa. 

Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m: A) Too lazy to play B) Too broke to play C) Too unskilled to play D) All of the above

because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?* *In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay.  A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.

I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was: Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*

*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here. 

Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.” 

Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article. 

By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school. 

Here’s how this shit went down. 

First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love. 

“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!

Her consent!

In ancient Greece!

The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!

Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading. 

Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that. 

Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado.  And they lived happily ever after. That’s the end of the post right?

NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me. 

Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this. 

There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend. 

Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!

YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.

BUT WAIT.

There’s more.

The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!

For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon. 

Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:

Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general. 

Take that Zeus, for being so gross. 

The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)

Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)

The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.

That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

Mistress of Labyrinths. 

Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!

Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?

And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!

What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.

Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them. 

Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery. 

Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big. 

Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages. 

Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason. 

Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”

You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!

^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^

“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”

Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:

All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.

The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.

Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure. 

A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!

Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?

ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!

Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy! 

I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat.  Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!

Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?

Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical. 

Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot. 

How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km. 

The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.

Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.

Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.

Minoa was fucked. 

The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.

Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.

Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year? Mycenaea!

Guess who won?

Also Mycenaea!

Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs. 

Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.

“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”

Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed. 

Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi. 

An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one. 

In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories. 

However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in. 

This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.

The Mycenaeans were likely no different. 

Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman. 

Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.

Fuck the Mycenaeans.

* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more. 

 What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus. 

With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy. 

Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it. 

All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more. 

In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out. 

[tabriscadash]

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said. 

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry. 

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT. 

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.

[razieltwelve]

2 things: 1. Garion? Seriously? *sigh…..* 2. How much is Erik enjoying being taller than Lyara?

Yes, Garion. Pronounced Gary-on, of course. A friendly, orange dragon with an optimistic outlook on life. He'll smile his toothy smile, ask to be your friend, and then pummel the absolute crap out of you if you decide that fighting is what you want to do. Although not as large as the legendary Balerion II (the dragon who is Drogon in canon), Garion was known to be a swift and cunning opponent, one who combined a dragon's natural strength and speed with the sort of cunning and deviousness typically seen in much smaller creatures.

He was perhaps most famous for his knack for hiding himself, often finding cover in clouds or flying such that the sun would be in his opponent's eyes. It made him an extremely deadly opponent, not that he had all that much reason to fight.

Beloved by the small folk and nobles alike, Garion proved to be of great aid, assisting in the drawing of extremely accurate maps, as well as helping transport key supplies and the like during times of need. The phrase 'As friendly as an orange dragon' became common place, meaning someone who was extremely scary at first glance but was actually quite friendly on the inside.

Perhaps the most famous story of Garion is how he enjoyed playing hopscotch with small folk children during one of Edward's tours of the kingdom. As he was only a young dragon at the time, it was actually possible, and he would insist that the king himself join the game although he was supposedly quite put out when Edward won.

Later, as an adult dragon, Garion famously became the judge of a special event regarding the quality of livestock. It essentially boiled down to, which one would the dragon prefer to eat? The winner of the event (there were separate categories for cattle, sheep, etc.) was crowned the Dragon's Chosen and deemed the best of its kind. This was especially valuable for bulls and other male livestock, as the winner's owner could charge handsome studding fees.

And, no, the winner was not later eaten. Instead, Garion was typically given several other livestock to eat instead.

The greatest champion of the event was a mighty bull from the North called 'Dark Horn' due to the unusual colouration of his horns. The great bull won his category seven years in a row and sired many exceptional offspring. He became a symbol of pride in the North, and allowed his owner, a humble farmer, to rise greatly in stature. The man became favoured by the Starks (who doesn't like beating the rest of the Seven Kingdoms?) and Dark Horn earned him a vast sum of coin over the course of his life.

The phrase 'as virile as Dark Horn' entered common parlance due to the bull's winning ways, and it became even more common as the children he sired proved to be of exceptional quality. It was rumoured due to his size and strength that he was part auroch, but nobody knows for sure.

Another famous animal with ties to Garion is the ram known as Iron Head. This crazy animal was but a lamb when he first met the dragon, who was at the time still only small. It was said that Iron Head challenged the dragon to a fight and the young dragon was so shocked that a mere sheep would dare challenge him that he almost took a backward step out of surprise.

Still, the dragon emerged victorious, but the lamb had proven his bravery. As a ram, Iron Head would prove to be a real jerk, constantly picking fights with other rams and just generally proving that his head really was as tough as iron. It was said that on one visit to the area, the ram would attack the king himself.

Edward met the ram head on, wrestling the gigantic ram to the ground and pinning it until it admitted defeat. He then ordered drinks be brought out, so that he and the ram could share them since he considered the ram a worthy opponent.

The mortified owner of Iron Head could only thank the gods that nothing bad happened, but Edward assured him that the ram was only doing his duty in challenging a stranger who had wandered onto the farmer's property.

Naturally, Garion challenged Iron Head again. However, the difference in size this time was enormous. Still, Iron Head attacked without fear, and that won Garion's respect, and Iron Head became known as the ram so brave he was willing to fight a dragon.

There are many such tales like this, about both Garion and Edward, which may go a long way to explaining his enduring popularity. Despite his genius and brilliance, Edward never held himself above others, and his respect and affection for the small folk made him unbelievably popular.

It was often said that Edward was a king who used his strength to carry the weight of the Seven Kingdoms upon his back rather than insisting the Seven Kingdoms carry him. It was through Edward that the concept of 'royal obligation' became common place. It was the idea that in exchange for the immense privileges that royalty had, they needed to give back to the kingdom through wise and diligent service, never forgetting that a kingdom is made up of people, not just land.

Garion would eventually outlive Edward (since dragons live longer than people). It was said that in his later years, as an elderly dragon, he spent much of his time watching over flocks of sheep and cattle, which allowed him to sleep under the stars.

When he passed away, it was said to the be the first time in the history of the Seven Kingdoms that small folk and nobles alike mourned the death of a dragon. His bones, as massive as they were, were eventually transported back to King's Landing where they were laid to rest alongside those of Edward I in the magnificent mausoleum that was built after the king's death.

Notably, King Edward I was content to be buried in the royal crypts alongside the previous kings, but he was so popular that the people insisted he be given a burial place fitting for the man topically cited as the greatest of Westeros's kings.

So Edward's Sanctum was built, a sprawling complex that included not only his mausoleum (which doubled as a Sept) but an entire campus dedicated to the many subjects he dabbled in over the course of his life (e.g., alchemy, engineering, merchanting, etc.).

It is said to be good luck for aspiring students to pay their respects at the mausoleum to both the great king and his friendly dragon. Indeed, rather than being a place of mourning, the mausoleum is instead filled with frescoes and other monuments to the happiest moments in the king's life.

The king's successor and oldest son, Robert II remarked that his father would never have wanted anyone to cry because he was dead. Instead, he would have wanted them to smile that he lived. Indeed, at the king's funeral, Robert II read a speech the king had written in his final days. In typical fashion, despite the sorrow of the occasion, the crowd was laughing in delight by the end of the speech.

It was fitting that Edward I, who had made so many smile during his reign, somehow managed to do the same at his own funeral.

[dgcatanisiri]

All this time on the whole thing about making Mass Effect inclusive is reminding me of the biggest frustration I’ve had with same-sex romances across BioWare’s games.

Which is that I usually DON’T walk away from these games happy with my options. When BioWare is one of the rare publishers who even offer the ability to play gay characters in RPGs, and like hell you’ll see a mainstream AAA game feature a gay protagonist. I think the closest we’ve had to that is the Deadpool game, since he’s canonically pan, but the most we get of that is his groping Cable’s chest, and otherwise, it’s all about how much he wants to spend time with “big breasted fans” and his relationship with the female-presenting Death (yeah, sure, anthropromorphized form of an abstract concept, Death looks, sounds, and is spoken of as female, so...).

But while BioWare gives the option... I’m rarely content with the options.

Jade Empire offered Sky, who I do love as an option, but I can’t help but feel like this is in many ways due to the fact that I first played Jade Empire when I was still coming to terms with my sexuality - any romance that affirmed “yes, you are deserving of love as a man who loves other men” would be embraced at that point, and because of my issues with the general archetype he is cast from the mould of, I don’t think I’d feel the same if I encountered him new today.

ME1 SHOULD have had Kaidan, but doesn’t. 

Dragon Age Origins has Zevran, who is from that same archetype as Sky, the loveable rogue. Repeating the same character type, and throwing in a character who is a shameless flirt is not the way to my heart. No, I latched on to Alistair, and get frustrated at only being able to fulfill that desire with a mod.

ME2 again has nothing. And, even if it HAD, the way that things turn out in ME3 would have left me pretty disappointed if I’d gotten the ability to romance Jacob or Thane. 

DA2 is the first aversion - while I went in expecting to love Anders, I was pushed away by finding the romance (and the friendship, tbh) toxic and abusive. Luckily, however, I could balance it out with Fenris, who was FINALLY a romance I could love to replay the game for.

ME3 continued that, with Kaidan finally an option. And, while I don’t like to shake that OTP up by leaving Kaidan behind, I find Steve Cortez a good character, just hampered by finding the romance uncomfortably framed in a “get over your grieving so I can get in your pants.”

But then Inquisition takes a step back - I find Dorian as a character obnoxious, not to mention coming across as a prop for the development of his father at his expense (plus fandom’s treatment of him souring me further). Meanwhile, the game drops as I’m getting to accepting being asexual, which puts Iron Bull’s whole romance way out of my comfort zone, on top of feeling like the writing is more focused on making the whole thing a punchline.

And then Andromeda and THAT mess... Gil’s a decent character hampered by THE WORST combination of lack of concern for him and a plot written by someone who has NO idea what they’re talking about when it comes to gay people trying to have kids. Reyes goes back to the old archetype well, on top of me both finding him sketchy as hell AND vehemently objecting to a romance lock in that has you making out with him not five feet away from the still-warm body of the woman he ordered killed (and that’s the summary version...). Then there’s Jaal who, just to get his bisexuality, BioWare had to be shamed in to offering it.

So the rough version of this is that of the eight games above, almost all of them come with caveats. Only six games HAVE options, and of those options, two are “options” in the sense that they exist, rather than being options I would take, dropping it to only four games. Of those four, I’m still very, VERY hard on the options within the Mass Effect games. Because, while I do take Gil or Jaal as romances when I play Andromeda, it’s more in spite of than because of the romances proper. Like, they involve active mental patching for me to roll with them. And Kaidan as a romance is one that is a barely there THING, happening in the last game only.

And this is the best I GET. What are my alternatives? Cyberpunk? There’s... issues there, particularly around bodily autonomy and how V has to give up theirs just to get the ability to meet the one gay option. Skyrim/Fallout? Where the “romance” is just a persuasion check and no special content, on top of the romances being bisexual more due to developer laziness, rather than inclusivity. Assassin’s Creed? Where the romances have mostly been pointless flings? That forced a het relationship in the name of forced reproduction in Odyssey’s DLC? Where the most important relationship of the games that offered it is still with a female NPC? Where the “canon” version that carries forward in both Odyssey and Valhalla says that the PC was actually a woman, not a man, so the pairings I viewed as M/M were “actually” M/F? Games like Pillars of Eternity, where the romance exists more through blocks of text than gameplay? 

At best, there’s games like Technomancer and Greedfall (the latter having its own issues, and sort of retroactively tainting the former as a result of those issues.), by a smaller studio. But... I mean, that is one publisher. Out of how many?

I love video games as a medium. I love playing an interactive story, one that advances because of your choices and how you want the story to unfold. But... The medium is in the iron grip of people who don’t love me, and don’t care about me.

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

idk why but i feel like anders gets like. a disproportionate amount of shit over being a bigoted close minded idiot mage™ for what he says towards fenris and merrill? like fenris says terrible shit to anders too, all the time, bc bioware can't write antagonistic relationships if they're not just The worst (plus. fenris is awful to merrill too) and also literally like most of the general fandom faves say horribly prejudiced shit all the time? iron bull, dorian, varric, cas, aveline etc. all of em

(note - that ask abt anders and the other companions etc isn't like a means to excuse anything he says more to like. say how it's both poorly handled by bioware and disproportionately pointed out by the fandom in comparison to other characters. not trying to woobify anyone)

in this case there is no 2 way street in way of racism with anders and fenris/merrill, fenris says some highly insensitive ableist things and really cruel remarks about Karl, but he is incapable of being racist towards anders. so in this regard, its not equal. but in the case of them triggering each other in banter, and stooping to lows, i totally get what youre saying.

im not sure when iron bull says bigoted things? but im with you on the rest of them. and cullen too, he says racist things (not just talking shit about mages) during da2, and it makes sense why hes locked out of dwarf and quanri romances. and he fetishes elves. but being elf racist in thedas is normal, in bioware land. its why sera is written “that way” (in the worst possible light) and why even fandom is always calling her racist too. when its obvious she just has self acceptance / spiritual issues.

but yeah im never over avelines line when you take her to meet merrill for the first time and she ACTUALLY says “shem is an elven slur for human” and shes horribly cruel to merrill the whole game. calls her stupid. and shes captain of the guard and glosses over the abuses HER people does all throughout the game. but you know? girl power! and cassandras “theres no more room for more gods”? to a dalish elf. but her jaw! so killer! so its okay :) /s

[ogradyfilm]

Five Memorable Movie Moments from 2019

Now that the dust from the holiday season has settled, I’d like to give the old year a proper sendoff. Rather than compiling a generic “Top 10 Films” list, however, I’m going to narrow my focus. Keeping in mind that this rundown is far from comprehensive, here are a handful of movie moments that stuck with me in 2019.

[SPOILER WARNING: The following list discusses major plot points from Rocketman, Avengers: Endgame, The Irishman, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and Knives Out in great detail; PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION!]

Rocketman: I’d hardly consider “I Want Love” to be an “essential” Elton John song… but in the hands of director Dexter Fletcher and his collaborators, it becomes the best number in a jukebox musical fantasy packed full of great ones. In the context of the narrative, the lyrics paint a heartbreaking portrait of an irreparably shattered family, with both the young protagonist and his neglectful parents seeking affection and validation in all the wrong places—thus elegantly setting the stage for the decades-spanning tragedy to follow.

Avengers: Endgame – While the death of Tony Stark—the character that laid the foundation for Marvel’s shared cinematic universe—definitely packs a huge emotional punch, the buildup to his selfless sacrifice resonated just a bit more for me. Disoriented from the fight against Thanos’ forces, Iron Man gazes across the battlefield… and sees that the Mad Titan has managed to seize the Infinity Gauntlet. Realizing that he’s the only Avenger close enough to intervene, Stark glances at the preoccupied Doctor Strange for confirmation that he can salvage the situation. The Sorcerer Supreme simply raises his index finger, grimly signaling that this is, indeed, the one scenario out of 14 million in which he foresaw a chance at victory. Stark is painfully aware that foiling the galactic conqueror’s genocidal ambitions will cost him his own life—as well as a happy future with his wife and child—and he springs into action anyway. His unwavering resolve proves that “I am Iron Man” is no hollow boast.

The Irishman: It’s almost impossible to choose a single memorable scene from Martin Scorsese latest organized crime epic; ultimately, I decided to go with the one that best represents its deliciously contradictory atmosphere. As Robert De Niro’s Frank Sheeran rides towards his fateful final meeting with Al Pacino’s Jimmy Hoffa, his two accomplices have a humorously banal argument about how damp and smelly the backseat is; the driver sheepishly explains that he delivered some fish shortly before picking them up, prompting Hoffa to offer advice on how to properly transport seafood. Beneath the surface-level comedy, however, lies a powerful undercurrent of suspense, because Sheeran knows that once they reach their destination, he will have to betray and murder his closest friend. It’s a study in conflicting tones that’s every bit as effective as anything that Quentin Tarantino has ever written.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: Speaking of Tarantino, his latest effort—an unabashed celebration of Old Hollywood—is similarly packed with iconic moments, but I’m going to stand by the assertion that I made in my initial review: the scene in which Brad Pitt’s Cliff Booth prepares dinner for himself and his pit bull is an absolutely ingenious bit of character work. As he navigates his cramped trailer, the world-weary stuntman finds his refrigerator nearly empty; he ends up eating stovetop macaroni and cheese straight out of the pot. His cupboards, on the other hand, are literally overflowing with cans of gourmet dog food. This cleverly and succinctly establishes his loyal, nurturing personality: Cliff always takes care of his friends and family, often at the expense of his own wellbeing. In many ways, it also symbolically epitomizes his relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio’s Rick Booth, foreshadowing the film’s history-revising conclusion.

Knives Out: Although critics have rightfully praised Ana de Armas’ starring turn in Rian Johnson’s subversive spin on the whodunit genre, Daniel Craig’s nuanced performance as private investigator Benoit Blanc is the glue that holds the deliberately convoluted plot together. To quote my original review: “[Blanc’s] bizarre philosophical musings straddle the line between brilliance and buffoonery, making it difficult to discern whether our intrepid ‘hero’ is merely obfuscating ignorance in order to lull his prey into a false sense of security… or genuinely is as utterly clueless as he acts.” While his spectacular Poirot Summation (which very closely resembles the climax of an Ace Attorney game) is undeniably impressive, the detective’s most memorable moment actually occurs during the denouement, when he casually reveals that he’d immediately noticed an incriminating drop of blood on our protagonist’s shoe during their first encounter; he only ignored the obvious evidence because he recognized that there was a deeper mystery afoot. It’s the perfect resolution to his character arc, allaying any lingering doubts that the viewer might have had regarding his credentials as a super sleuth.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream - Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Star Wars is a franchise very near and dear to my heart. I’ve grown up watching the films and have fond memories of each of them, in particular Revenge of the Sith, which I got to see in theaters with my father. It’s a series that has introduced me to great characters, great actors, great ways to tell stories, and if nothing else the movies were always fun. I never saw a Star Wars movie I couldn’t enjoy on some level.

That all changed with this movie.

The Rise of Skywalker is a wet fart of a finale. It is a mess, it is underwhelming, it is disrespectful to the previous two films, and worst of all it’s bland. But hyperbole aside, this movie isn’t a complete and utter waste; it’s certainly not the worst film of all time or anything, or even the worst Star Wars movie. It’s just a sad case of a mixed bag where the bag skews more to the bad side than the good side.

Let’s go over what I actually did enjoy first. Obviously, the score was fantastic, but I think this goes without saying; John Williams has never once screwed around, so why would he stop now? His music honestly does a lot of the heavy lifting emotion-wise, as scenes such as the supposed trinity of this trilogy’s reunion at the end would not have any sort of impact otherwise. Then we have stuff like the practical effects, which is both a blessing and a curse as they seem to be a sort of dancing bear for this trilogy. As great and lively as they make the worlds, they shouldn’t be what gets focus over story and character development… but hey, Babu Frik is great.

Speaking of characters, there are a few who were handled very well in this film. In terms of comedy, there is C-3PO and Palpatine. C-3PO is just a genuine riot here, and almost every goofy little joke he cracked gave me a genuine chuckle. He’s really at his best here. Palpatine on the other hand is just a character who is so inherently hilarious that it is physically impossible to be mad at him. Like, he’s an evil zombie wizard who spends half the film insulting Kylo Ren and then the other half cackling and shooting lightning in his big arena full of hooded weirdos while strapped to a big dialysis machine and wearing a sparkling red vest under his robe. Sheev Palpatine is pretty much the greatest character in human history, and while his role in this film is so stupid, shoehorned, and underbaked, you cannot help but crack a grin at the sheer lunacy good ol’ Sheev brings to the table. The sheer revelation that this man actually, canonically had more sex than Kylo Ren is enough to send a man into a fit of giggles.

In terms of actual character, Rey gets a solid arc marred by some incredibly poor writing choices, but overall stays solid throughout. Her interactions with Kylo Ren especially solidify her as an interesting and engaging character, and honestly the whole reveal that she’s a Palpatine is intriguing and could have added depth to her… but they managed to bungle it. And it’s an easy fix too; early on, there’s a scene where she and Kylo are playing tug-of-war with a transporter that is holding an iconic character. Rey accidentally unleashes Palpatine lightning and blows it up, seemingly killing the character inside… only for the character to inexplicably be alive two scenes later. Now, if Rey had actually killed said character by accident and spent the rest of the film struggling with her nature, it would make her ultimate showdown and rejection of Grandpa Sheev’s ideology all the more sweeter and satisfying. A moment at the end would have likewise been improved if she had simply not chosen to rename herself and instead chose to just simply be “Rey,” but gotta have that sweet, sweet branding! Still, I think Rey is remarkably done here, though not nearly as good as she was in The Last Jedi.

But the real MVP here is definitely Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. I’m just gonna say it: this guy carries the film. He has had the most remarkably consistent character arc in this new trilogy, and that concludes just as well here, though sadly in the most obvious way: with a redemption. However, it comes not from Rey, as desperate shippers had hoped, but from his parents – Leia and Han both play a part in ensuring their son’s redemption. And when he’s redeemed, the way Driver is able to convey the character of Ben Solo with just his face and body language is incredible enough to make the redeemed man feel like a totally different character than when he was Kylo Ren, and all of this is without speaking. Driver deserves every ounce of praise he gets for these films, and while I feel his arc would have been far more satisfying if it wasn’t a carbon copy of Anakin’s arc, it’s a testament to Driver’s skill that he managed to sell me such a cliché turn of events and made it work.

This is where my kindness dries up, however, as the rest of this is going to be pretty negative. The story here is just an incoherent mess; it honestly feels like an entire trilogy crammed into one film, a film divorced entirely from the other two films. The big problem with this trilogy is how there is so little cohesion between films that each film feels like a soft reset, and nowhere is that more clear than here. It doesn’t help that this film decides to cram in a bunch of stupid backspaces to everything from The Last Jedi, the most awkward and egregious being how they write off the “Holdo Maneuver” as a one in a million shot at success despite the fact that using the far more obvious “using the rebels as suicide bombers is a bit morally iffy and such a move should not be used unless we’re totally desperate” explanation would have sufficed. It honestly feels like the writers were chickening out a lot of the time and decided to try and distract us from their yellow-bellied attempts at ignoring the previous film by slapping us in the face with tons of fanservice. Sometimes it works – the voices of all the fallen Jedi in the final act was an awesome touch (I hear you Qui-Gon, Windu, and Ahsoka!) - but most of them time it is just painfully on-the-nose and groan worthy, such as when Chewbacca gets his medal. The worst offender here is Lando, who is so carelessly tossed into this mess of a plot that it feels really disrespectful to Billy Dee Williams.

Speaking of screwing over characters though, no one got it worse than Finn, Poe, and Rose. With Rose, it’s frankly just insulting they didn’t even try. It would have been so easy to redeem Rose in the eyes of the fans that didn’t like her character in The Last Jedi; if The Clone Wars can make Jar Jar a likable character, then I’m pretty sure a big budget Hollywood blockbuster can fix the issues of a poorly written character in its sequel. Instead though, this film takes the coward’s route and relegates Rose to a role less important to the plot than Babu Frik, who despite his integral role is only in one single scene. Poe is just handled as nonsensically as ever, given really dumb jokes and a forced and unneeded backstory as a spice smuggler, complete with an implied female love interest in an attempt to try and convince us the character is heterosexual.

But Finn gets it worst of all. Not only does he get a forced implied love interest (who is black, because we can’t have miscegenation in our big blockbuster films!), but he just in general gets shafted so hard. Finn being shafted has been a running theme with this trilogy. The first film set him up to be an integral, important main character, one who would even become the main character…. And then he slowly faded from relevance as the writers put him in increasingly bad plotlines, culminating with the slap in the face this movie gives us by implying but not outright stating that Finn can use the Force. There were so many interesting ways they could take Finn’s arc and they chose the route that is, quite frankly, the absolute worst. The fact that Finn got totally shafted in such a way despite being a fan favorite is all the more baffling and honestly has me wondering what the suits at Disney were thinking. If they weren’t actually minimizing a character as beloved as Finn was after The Force Awakens out of racism, what were they even trying to do? John Boyega has a right to be as angry as he is.

There’s other stuff that’s obnoxious. Leia’s scenes are all terrible and poorly executed, which comes off as really disrespectful to Carrie Fisher; the romance in this film which, as mentioned above, is totally forced, but special mention goes to the Ben/Rey kiss at the end, which while not some life-ending travesty is so utterly out of nowhere due to the lack of romantic chemistry between the two in any of these films that it’s laughable; the editing is so incoherent and terrible in places that it feels like it was done by someone on a mixture of crack and Red Bull; the complete waste that is Hux and his childish reasoning for betraying the First Order, completing the character’s change from a terrifying Nazi allegory to a complete and utter joke; the fact that the new First Order general who takes center stage gets so little development despite being a great throwback to Grand Moff Tarkin and a genuinely amazing character otherwise, with a fascinating history with Palpatine that is never explored and no meaningful interactions with the heroes; the complete and utter unexplained nature of Palpatine’s return; and just how painfully unfunny a lot of the humor in this film is. This movie just has so many problems, so many flaws, and it ends on such a completely limp and unsatisfying note that it’s honestly kind of sad.

This film… I don’t know about this film. It’s definitely not the worst Star Wars film, because it at least has some genuinely good bits to it, unlike Attack of the Clones which I can only really justify liking ironically. But that being said, this film is just so unsatisfying, and what’s more, it’s not very memorable. Not much will stick with you with this one, and if it does, it might be more of the bad things rather than the good ones, which is a shame, because I do think there’s some good stuff buried under the garbage here, but I don’t know if it’s worth sitting through this film to find. This is not the worst thing ever, I really can’t stress that enough… but it’s just not fun, engaging, or anything that will really make you feel anything meaningful, and sometimes that’s just worse.

Ultimately, this film has an incredibly uncertain audience. It’s wrapping up a trilogy in one of the biggest franchises on earth with a plotline that tries to pander to fans in a way that feels gross and condescending, leaving the film feeling like it was made for absolutely no one. If you like this, that’s fine; Star Wars is a franchise that has greatness ingrained in its DNA, to the point where I can’t say any of the films are really among the worst I’ve ever seen. But I think generally this is not going to be a film worth watching, and certainly one to skip in any future marathons of the franchise. It really is a shame… this trilogy if nothing else was full of potential to be a new take on Star Wars for a new generation. Instead, it ended up as a confusing, corporate mess. 

[murdochmysteriesimagines]

The Rose of Texas

Request: Female S/O and George writing love letters to each other please.

A/N: What was asked of me and what I provided are completely different. I had an idea and it snowballed into a product not only longer than intended but something I plan to work on further. In the end I wrote something that I wanted to write. I hope you enjoy it.

__________________________________________

12/02/1910

My Sweetest George

I assume its too late to say Merry Christmas while I’m writing to you, no doubt when you finally receive it. If it manages to get through whatever blockade is set up for the Red Cross Couriers. I should have written to you when I first departed. That night I left it felt like I hadn’t said enough to you, now I can barely think of any words that could explain the world I find myself in.  But like you say George, its best to start from the beginning. What I ask myself is what is the true beginning of this? I suppose your start would be me sneaking off in the middle of the night. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I said to you that evening, or to be more accurate, to say what I yelled at you in blind anger. All the trouble I’m going through seems to be an appropriate punishment for my sins, but I still feel guilty for it. I guess I’m not as heartless as you think. Kidding aside I am truly sorry for what I said about you George, you are one of the best men I know. No man I’ve met can hold a candle to you, such a man does not deserve to be branded a coward because he refuses to follow every whim I have like a trained dog. Regardless of what you believe me to be, just know I deeply regret what I said to you. I love you George, do not ever think otherwise.

To most Canadians this ugly situation would have officially started back in ‘01’, when McKinley was shot dead and our beloved Roosevelt ascended to the Oval office, to the rank of self-appointed King. Another Caesar stabbed in the senate house with an opportunistic Augustus looking to forge his throne from the blood of the opposition. For every Pure Food and Drug Act making headlines, there was a coal miners strike repressed by federal troops. For every shining railroad built off the labour of the Southern states in his so-called relief camps, political opponents arrested and shipped out west. Corruption in the government pulled out like a weed and replaced with a loyal lap dog. Any man could see Roosevelt moved against anyone who dare opposed him with a vengeance, quickly and decisively. The press would say it was all in the name of stability and security; those journalists untouched by the Bears Claws at the cost of singing him endless praise and justifying every sin they could not cover up. The press in Canada more than happy to parrot their kin who looked up to the ever kind, ever present presidential king. How many truly knew the light of democracy that all sources held on the highest pedestal was being snuffed out. Fuel to the flame being cut by a tyrant who would stop at nothing to consolidate power around himself. Roosevelt’s party switch in the ‘04’ election should have been the wake-up call to the world, yet most remained ignorant. From the Republicans to the newly founded Progressive Party of America. The medias favourite figurehead as the acting chair; old officials sent to replace the ‘corrupt’ surprisingly changing sides to the governing party. The ignorant sang their praise at the man, no longer was America a two-party country, surely liberty and prosperity would follow us into the new century. The naïve and unenlightened will maintain that rhetoric, those paid to believe that it was the ungrateful south that opposed our King who kindly kept us under the federal government’s thumb. I guess we should be grateful to Roosevelt George: he had generously allowed our suffering to continue rather than slaughter the disgruntled southern population entirely, although even his media sources would have a rough time justifying that atrocity.

To me George, this started all the way back in ‘65’ with the end of the civil war. I’ve heard the cries that we are nothing more than a second coming of the Confederacy, succession is the last thing on our minds George. Instead of state and property rights; our cause is against tyranny and for a liberation of our enslavement. Only Lincoln wanted to reintegrate the confederates into the union. When he died so did any hope of unification. They liberated the slaves only to create a new breed to replace what was lost. While the new states in the west would thrive, we were kept in limbo, we were added back to the boarder but treated like foreigners, a conquered population, an enemy. P.O.W’s were sent home branded as traitors, permanently disfigured, or not at all. Their labour was used to rebuild the country they supposedly destroyed. If they refused: beatings would be felt, if they persisted: executed. All vailed as righteous punishment for a war that was spouted to end such treatment. When the work force gradually trickled back to their impoverished states the federal government still needed bodies for their factories, to build their rails, roads, to work for starvation wages. They have been stealing our men since the war’s conclusion, leave it to the Bear to expand upon a profitable idea. The men before him content with only conscripting the innocent for a camp or costly war abroad.

I remember the stories Pa would tell me of his time in the labour camps, whips, a hot iron and chains placed onto the worst offending farmers and militia men, not one rich enough to own a slave. That fact still true when they passed reforms for meager wages to be paid after years of free imprisonment. He’ll never tell us the full story of how he made it back to Texas. Just whispers about riots and hard choices being made. You’ve seen photos of him back when I was a youngling. It’s hard to imagine that moustache wearing the skin of an old gray back bludgeoning a guard for his freedom. He wore the uniform so his sons and daughters could wear suits and dresses. That fantasy gave way to reality when the Bear took the office. We all know now that was the turning point, the final act calm before the storms return.

When that French self-proclaimed Marxist revolutionary tried to rob Roosevelt of his life outside the senate building last September, we all knew there would be no turning back. A final push for greater political power while he was still in the hospital; forced eradication of opposing political parties, arresting any figure suspected of discontent towards the Bear, tightening the reigns on labour camps; all in the name of security and stability. Just short of a throne and crown for the new set appointed Royal and his noblemen. That revolutionary expected to trigger an uprising of the workers of America. Perhaps the French immigrant will be disappointed he mistook the civil discontent for an overthrow of the upper class. Maybe he’s in such a state with the provider answers given to him from outside that cell, upset that the only revolution to come is for the fate of our democracy rather than his ideology.

They call us Confederates, slaver, traitors: we are no such thing George. We didn’t betray the constitution, our foundations of the Republic. Our police forces haven’t arrested innocent diplomats and citizens for imagined crimes. The re-emerging National Unity Party did not crown a king. The Federalists fight for the Progressive Party and their oligarchies own interests. The Union States Of America fight for a greater purpose than self improvement; we fight for our republic, our constitution, our freedom. That is why I went home George, to save my country, not destroy it. The territory of an old enemy along with states tired of Washington’s rule now harbor the government they once opposed.

When we departed from Toronto, I expected the worst, years of training and work in hospitals as a nurse has filled my mind with standards for the dead and injured. All were surpassed when we arrived. Medical tents filled with victims of the Bull Run offensive executed by the federalist along the Virginian boarder. Such audacity does not surprise me: expecting us to falter at a single push into the Tennessee mountain ranges and entrenched divisions. Their hastily assembled army under Pershing has failed to end this war in the one fell swoop that the Bear has promised. As the winter snows began to set in November, we all knew this would be another long war.

However, we are determined to fight until our flag flies over Washington. The problems of the old war are gone. Allies from South America and Europe not blinded by the Tyrants propaganda rally behind us, bringing with them the newest toys of war. Self loading rifles from Mexico, artillery and generals from Germany, raw materials from Chile; manpower from all. I’m curious if it was more surprised to hear the Kaiser’s finest were getting involved rather than the United States got caught in another war. The old guards of Europe stay neutral for the time, I doubt the British will stand idle if an ally to the Germans were to set up south of their biggest dominion, not while world tensions are on the rise. I pray that this war stays contained to a single country. Perhaps with some luck the Germans, Unionists and British can unite against the tyrants of the North.

It must have been a field day for the parliament and press when the German Kaiserliche Marine flying the new flag of free America appeared off the eastern coastline. We don’t always get the best information of their front, rumours of skirmishes between the two fleets at best. It’s ironic: after the Spanish American war the federalist tried to bring their armada into the modern age. Their expensive steel monsters laying at the bottom of the Atlantic or under siege in harbour to another European power; neutralized, useless. Unable to halt the merchants and never-ending convoys bringing supplies into the bastion of freedom that will be their undoing. The southern men they conscripted as canon fodder returning home with knowledge of war. Liberated slave labour taught the craft of large-scale production under the threat of death now building our infrastructure from the rubble it was left in. All in due time George, we will rebuild our homes into a flourish state.

The war was quiet for most of December; everyone was busy drawing lines on maps to lay claim to whatever they could get their hands on. When the dead and wounded came down to what the regulars call “acceptable levels”, the medical staff finally got some rest. I got word from my older brother; he’s been stationed in loyal Missouri as a mechanic. Apparently, he learned a few more tricks with a wrench while interned in Wisconsin last year. He’s still not pleased I moved up to Canada, it’s not my fault there was no work in Texas. He’s a stubborn man, stuck in his own mind most of the time. He really is a spitting image of my Ma at times.

He did tell me something wonderful. Since the actual constitution was re-enacted after our schism the original voting laws have been put in place. Any citizen who owns property has a formal vote in government affairs. My brother wrote to me and informed me that after I left Pa added my name to the family homestead. I was able to vote George; man or woman, gender and race made irrelevant in a single move. Now I know they say a man’s vote is his own business, but I won’t pretend I’m not pleased with President Wilson being sworn in as the true leader American republic. God willing, he’ll be able to see us through these trying times.

In more personal news George, I have an update. I received a promotion of sorts, although I’m sure you would have a less glamorous title for it. Back in January our medical unit got assigned to the 12th Union Division near the Missouri, Illinois boarder. We were near the front providing what we could to soldiers on rotation to reserves when our dressing station was attacked by the federalists. Apparently, they exploited a breach the line and rushed into gain land. We were doctors and nurses being targeted, fresh faced recruits and wounded apparently a grave threat.

Pa always said I had the best shot in the family, hunting rabbits in my youth to avoid starvation has paid off. I managed to organize what soldiers remained and we held the federalists off, long enough for the reserves to come in. I’ll spare you the details George, but shooting an animal isn’t much different than a man. Not here at least.

We managed to push them back to the starting line of trenches before they gave up. In the heat of the moment no one noticed or cared about a nurse with a rifle and ammo pouch along side them. It came to a marksman battle between the two trenches cut short by an artillery barrage. When the explosions and flying dirt came back down to earth the Boots finally noticed the out of place skirt.

I received a medal for my work. “For outstanding bravery in service of the American Republic, her citizens or sons of war in the daunting presence of the enemy.” Words inscribed on the back of a silver wolves head now pinned to my new uniform. The same animal that occupies our flag. The red and white stripes guarded by a ferocious beast.

I expected to be chewed out for stepping out of line. Instead, punishment gave way to practicality and I was given the ability to be more than a subject for propaganda.  I agreed to become a Lance Corporal for the first company in the division. A hybrid of marksman and field medic, whatever the situation calls for. I’m happy to serve my country however I can, even if the task has become more deadly. I will answer the call, even if I maybe one of the only woman on the battlefield of this war. I know I still have to earn the respect of the men around me, citizen soldier or foreign volunteer. I know I can rise to the challenge George. I know I can prove myself to be a model soldier, perhaps an officer if I get lucky. I know I can be the strong woman you believe in. I know that together our united effort from around the globe can crush the tyrants of the North.

I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I’ve sin to you George. I want nothing more than to be back by your side. To be held in your arms that seem to protect me from the horrors of the world. We might be in for a lengthy war, but I have eternal confidence, our armies, our allies, our mission for freedom for all Americans; not just those in the Bears preferred party. Our armies will march north until we reach the Canadian boarder, crushing all resistance in our path. Then George, perhaps we can be together once again.

Lance Corporal y/n Crabtree.

[galadrieljones]

Dragon Age Question Meme

Tagged by @thevikingwoman and @idrelle-miocovani. Thanks!! ^_^

tagging @pikapeppa @a-shakespearean-in-paris @wrenbee @bearly-tolerable @hidinginthehinterlands @ladylike-foxes @sasshole-for-rent @ma-sulevin @princessvicky01 @lyrium-lovesong

01) favorite game of the series?

Inquisition. It was my introduction to the franchise, and I just have a hard time going back to older games and enjoying them the same? I really liked Origins, but the silent protag, despite my love for Skyrim, isn’t really my thing. I’ve never *actually* played all the way through DA2. Don’t shoot me. I just don’t have the time lol.

02) how did you discover Dragon Age?

My husband bought it for me for my birthday one year, on a recommendation from a guy at GameStop. He said, “My wife loves Skyrim. What are some other games she might like?” Inquisition had just come out like six months earlier.

03) how many times you’ve played the games?

I’ve only played through Origins once. I’ve played through Inquisition in its entirety (including Trespasser) 4 times.

04) favorite race to play as?

Hmm. I’ve played most as an elf, but that’s due to Solavellan. I am not really an elf-exclusive kind of lady. My first two PTs were with Trevelyans who romanced Cullen and Sera respectively. In Skyrim, another game with a million race choices, I’ve mostly played as a Nord, with a couple wood elves, too. So, I like elves and humans equal, I’d say.

05) favorite class?

Rogues, archers in particular. This is pretty much always true for me. Though I play Revasan Lavellan as a two-handed warrior with a great big sword and it’s QUITE fun (in Skyrim, my main Nord is a two-handed warrior, too.)

06) do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

I have mixed certain things up. I’ve done playthroughs in Inquisition where I let the Wardens stay, playthroughs where I exile them. I’ve also gone with the Templars once, though I mostly choose the Mages because I just like In Hushed Whispers better. I like to mess with the opening world state a little in the Dragon Age Keep, too. But there are certain things I always need to be the same, just because I can’t cope with the other options lol. For example, Morrigan and Warden Matthew Cousland are an OTP for life for me, and it’s canon in my brain forever that Matthew would not do the blood ritual with Morrigan, nor would he allow it to be performed with anyone else, so he died saving the world. But they do have a baby together--Kieran exists. But he is not an old god baby in my universe and never will be.

07) go-to adventuring group?

Solas, Iron Bull, and Dorian with Sene Lavellan; Solas, Cassandra, and Sera for Revasan Lavellan. Sometimes, I’ll mix things up a little with Sene (who I’ve played a LOT) and bring Sera instead of Dorian, or Cole instead of Dorian. Sometimes I’ll bring Cass or Thom instead of Bull. I specialize Sera with daggers, actually, so I can have two kinds of rogues. 

08) which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

Overall, probably Sene, since I’ve played her the longest and written about her the most. But I’ve put a lot into Revasan as well. In some ways, I feel I know his code better than Sene’s. 

09) favorite romance?

Solas. But Sera was also lovely.

10) have you read any of the comics/books?.

No. I have “Masked Empire,” but I’ve not read it.

11) if you read them, which was your favorite book?

-

12) favorite DLCs?

Trespasser. I also like Jaws of Hakkon. The Frostback Basin is a super neat setting with a lot of strangeness and beauty. I love the pink.

13) things that annoy you.

Not much? Mostly I get annoyed when parts of the fandom fixate on things that annoy them. That annoys me, because I’m here for the positive vibes, not the negative.

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

Ferelden. I think it’s weirder. 

15) templars or mages?

Mages. Honestly both factions have problems  in their leadership as far as I’m concerned, but I tend to choose the mages more often, because the quest is more fun in Inquisition, and I just can’t stand the idea of them being enslaved by some Tevinter fuckface. 

16) if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

I have two universes: one where Sene is Inquisitor, and one where her father Revasan is Inquisitor. They each exist in their respective universes though and are the same people, just in different roles. Sene is with Solas in both.

17) what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Warden Matthew Cousland named his Mabari Good Boy.

18) have you installed any mods?

Console only

19) did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

No. He didn’t want anything to do with the Wardens. He was sort of like the Prince Hal of the Couslands, causing trouble and being ironic and kind of a jerk and a charmer. Morrigan often casts him as having had a bandit’s sensibility but a good heart. He joined the Wardens because after his parents died he was a mess and didn’t know what else to do or where else to go. I picture him as only having been like 24.

20) hawke’s personality?

I kind of just go with classic purple Hawke lol. He’s a little derpy but brave as hell. His plans often go wrong but he’s very good at improvising. He romanced Fenris. His name is simply Garrett. 

21) did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

No lol. I like to use knightly colors though. I always use light, silvery metals and then with accents that fit each character’s personality. Sene’s accent color is always a fiery red. Revasan’s is a cold blue.

22) if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?  

Probably not much. My characters all tend to sort of face forward at all times. Revasan might change things from his wife’s tragic backstory though. He might save her family from the Fifth Blight if he had the chance.

23) do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

Plenty lol. I headcanon my Lavellans as land rich farmers who live stationary, wealthy lives and have for three generations. I have robust headcanons for the Dalish in general, mainly that there is a robust farming tradition among them, and that there are more successful Dalish elves than many humans and city elves realize. Nobility and Chantry officials would be unfamiliar with their culture, but any agricultural and merchant families of Ferelden and Orlais and the Free Marches would probably work often with Dalish farmers. I also headcanon Dalish farmers as being very much in league with the Merchant’s Guild. The Lavellans have a strong, historic partnership with the Tethras family, for example, because of all the business they do in Kirkwall. Varric has known Revasan and also Sene for many years. 

I also reject the barefoot elves thing. I just...for me, personally, it’s too Fantasy with a capital F and I like things to be a little grittier than that. So my elves wear boots, okay? Come at me.

24) are any of your character(s) based on someone?

Nope. Or, well, I mean, Revasan’s appearance is heavily informed by that of Luke Evans. His voice claim is like a mix between Gordon Ramsey and Jude Law. Sene is entirely unique.

25) who did you leave in the Fade?

When it was Hawke or Stroud, I left Stroud. When it was Hawke or Alistair, I left Hawke. Hawke wanted it more. Alistair is too...precious in my mind. I was worried about him. But in my sort of main world state, Alistair is King of Ferelden and not a Warden, so Stroud is actually in the Fade for all intents and purposes.

26) favorite mount?

Lol I don’t use mounts. My party and I run around on foot like children and get eaten by bears like men. 

[thesewomenrulemyworld]

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How I (Accidentally) Write About Dark Subject Matter: Rough & Tumble Ramblings (Bonus Post)

I don’t like writing content warnings, not because I’m one of those losers that think they aren’t needed (because, believe me, they definitely are) but because it means I have to step back from my work and think about what the hell I just wrote. Now, in my teen writer eyes, there is nothing more embarrassing than thinking back to what you wrote and realizing that you need five different content warnings to fully prepare the reader for your work, and also remembering that you’re barely a rising Junior in high school. I end up having an out of body experience where I see myself and my work as a long and beleaguered r/I’m14andthisisdeep post, and it can make it hard to read back over my work to edit and submit.

Not that there’s anything wrong with darker subject matter. In fact, some of my favorite work to read contains some particular dark and disturbing content. But when you’re a young writer trying to submit your stuff, it can feel… a bit embarrassing. You feel like the stereotypical edgelord teen writing about edgy stuff for the sake of making the adults cry with your edgy edge.

The thing is, I don’t even intend to write about dark subject material ninety-nine percent of the time. It’s just a natural consequence of my intuitive (and rather impulsive) writing process.

I feel that—when it comes to writing about heavier content as a teen writer—there are two types of people: the ones who write about dark content on purpose, and the ones who write it by accident.

I think @shaelinwrites said it best when she wrote in a blog post that teens are often attracted to darker subject matter due to being at the age where we realize that the world is a far darker and scarier place than what we saw as children. Writing, therefore, is the safest way to explore this newfound knowledge and come to terms with it. This is why young writers who write dark subject matter on purpose do it.

But some, like me, do it on accident.

Let me explain. So I’m rather sheltered, as I suspect a lot of teen writers are. I’m not exactly the most world-weary person, despite knowing that the world is, objectively, pretty screwed up. Due to this, I can often add, on accident, some pretty screwed up material just for not thinking it through deeply enough.

For example, here was was my general thought process for my short story “Judith was Never Adopted”, a story that is, objectively, a about a young teenage girl getting left behind in the foster care system due to going through puberty and not being “adorable” any more, getting sexualized while in puberty, getting forcibly married to an older guy who sees her as an object, all the while desperately trying to reclaim the childhood she’s lost and feeling lied to by all the media that claimed that she’d have a lovely and charmed life after being adopted by rich and happy parents (also, spoilers):

“Gee, isn’t it funny that orphan girls in children’s books are often adopted by nice, rich families and get whole musicals dedicated to them, while orphans in YA and Wattpad books are often paired up with the older, assholic, ‘bad boy’ and probably have their lives ruined?”

“Wait… that’s a cool idea for a story!”

“How do I make the villain as awful as possible…? I know! He’s a twenty year-old gangster who has no scruples when it comes to hitting on teenagers, and he also has no problem with busting the kneecaps of literal orphans! That’ll really emphasize how crappy he is!”

“Why did the main character never come back for Judith? Uh… he was in the Iraq War? But why would he willingly join that conflict? Oh right! To pay for college! And he loses an arm, because the war has to have some consequence.”

“But why doesn’t he go to find her when he gets back? Well, uh, his foster mother is dead and his foster siblings are gone, so he has bigger crap to worry about first cause now he’s homeless. Also, the gangster left the city anyway and took Judith with him, and nobody really knows where they went.”

“There! Now to look over the draft! Wait… what the fuck have I written?!”

If this all sounds thoughtless… it’s because it is. To be fair to me, I usually realize pretty quickly that what I’m writing is dark and messed up (by, like, the second paragraph of this story, I really thought long and hard about it’s concept and went “oh shit”).

From there, I usually try my best to do right by the themes and concepts I accidentally introduced, mostly because it’s content that usually gets glossed over in other books that include it, or that is otherwise even romanticized! In fact, it’s anger at these storylines and characters not being treated well that usually inspires me to write the story in the first place!

I’d actually say I did a pretty decent job with this story considering that the first magazine I submitted it to accepted it a day later and praised the piece for its “insights into the psyches and circumstances of foster children.” And this was an adult-run magazine too—with adult contributors with MFAs in creative writing that should be able to write circles around me and my story ideas! They had no reason to be more forgiving of my piece just because I was a young writer! They had plenty of adult ones to pick from!

So yeah, I can be pretty blind to my own story’s content until it’s time to write, at which point I usually stubbornly try to stick with it. Part this is, again, just because I’m sheltered, but I think another reason I do this is because, like I mentioned earlier, I write about stuff that is usually conveniently ignored or downplayed in other works—especially children’s stories.

To give an example, let’s look at one of my favorite childhood movies: Matilda. Objectively, the plot of Matilda is about a severely neglected and abused kindergartener overcoming her abusive family with her equally abused and traumatized teacher, all the while forming a tiny found family with said teacher and moving on from their dark pasts together. Remove the magic and this isn’t a children’s movie; it’s a litfic novel that I know at least one person on this goddamn hell site it writing (not that that’s a bad thing).

Part of the, I guess, novelty of the work that I write is that I enjoy writing about tropes commonly found in children’s stories and contrasting them with I see as toxic or harmful tropes found in works for older teens. As a person who basically went straight from reading children’s literature to adult litfic, I’m fascinated (and somewhat horrified) by the difference in themes and ideas presented to children versus older teens—especially since those same themes and tropes seen in children’s fiction seem to bizarrely reappear in work aimed toward adults (A Man Called Ove is basically UP but without the magic—change my mind). The main difference between how adult fiction treats these subjects and how children’s fiction treats them is that adult fiction fully shines a light on how messed up these subjects are, while you can get away with writing about literal Nazis and genocide in children’s fiction (*cough* Avatar the Last Airbender *cough*) and have no one think it’s too dark or try to tone it down.

Due to this, I think I’ve already been conditioned to not see these subjects to be as bad as they really are, until I sit down to write about them and start to think about them more deeply! Looking back, I’m sure I could’ve written about the subjects outlined in my short story in a way that’s conducive to children’s fiction. Heck, you already have some of the base tropes: over-the-top villain, sad wittle orphans, and deep childhood friendships. Written in another way, I could’ve been the next Roald Dahl!

I’d also like to point out that I have nothing against these themes being explored in literature for younger audiences—in fact I think it’s necessary to teach children about these issues early. But I do think how we perceive certain media to be “kid-friendly” can cause us to forget how deep and nuanced the content in this “kid-friendly” media usually is, mostly due to much of the content having to be toned down as to not scar younger audiences (which is also important). The problem isn’t that this media is included; the problem is that we can sometimes forget how important these issues really are because they’re such common tropes in children’s fiction, which is a great disservice both to these issues and to the stories that include them!

This is also an issue present in YA media, but in a different way as some of toned down issues present in YA are executed in such a way that is actively harmful to teenagers (from the abusive and controlling “bad boy”, to the toxic “not like other girls” character that disparages femininity and promotes competition rather than support among girls). These are my favorite tropes to explore and tear apart in my own work because, when not viewed through a glorified or romanticized lens, they can actually form extremely compelling fiction due to the fallout caused to surrounding characters who have to deal with the bull these tropes and characters cause.

Of course, playing these tropes for what they are tends to lead to darker fiction by consequence, but, due to so many of these tropes being ironically extremely present in children’s and YA literature, many teens that aren’t myself also end writing about them because, really, they’re just writing what they know. This is how an entire generation of teen writers, including myself, ends up writing about content far darker than they realize by accident. We’ve been reading about these subjects for a long time, and now we’re just copying from the masters.

Wow, that was a long rant. Was any of it sensical? I don’t really know, but I still enjoyed writing it!

That’s all for now! See you next Tuesday for your regularly scheduled writing update!