#its more of an inherent image of themselves that they know already

[creaturefeaster]

Are mime's limbs required to be arms/legs? Could they be more tentacle-like?

They can be anything. Depending on the mime, their appendages can be jointed (Rede, Atrox), segmented (TyV, Scuppy), or rubberhose (Uppsulka, El Ganso,). This basically dictates how their appendages can bend and be manipulated, but beyond this, there isn't much else that dictates their form.

They technically can stem from anywhere on their torso (or in some cases, their head. See: Twiddle's mustache), not just at the shoulders and base. They don't even need hands or feet, and they are not limited to 4 limbs (Uppsulka has 8, N&O both have 6, Maggie has 6).

With this all being said, a theoretical rubberhose mime with no interest in functioning like a humanoid, could have 8 spindely tentacles at their base that can be manipulated just like tentacles. Or, even segmented or jointed as well, though they would lack the native fluidity of tentacles.

The most recent mime I drew yesterday, Chamberlain, has jointed, tentacle-like limbs on their lower half. Not as fluid as a rubberhose could be, but still tentacle-esque nonetheless.

A mime's appendages can go beyond this possibility as well. It can be possible for mimes to skip the length entirely and just have hands and feet jointed at the base. One could have knives protruding from their body, instead of limbs (Caelas legs are similar to this, in a way). A mime could have a single spring at their base to hop around on, or wheels, or fin-like flaps. Really, anything.

The only reason so many have limbs and hands and feet is just because they often view themselves in the same light as their god, who is a humanoid. This doesn't stop some from being more creative with their image, though :3.

TL;DR: Yes, a mime can have tentacles, or anything else for that matter, in place of limbs.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

i rewatched Dune Part Two recently and one of the most striking shots for me was the one of the Fremen attacking the Sardaukar on wormback, while holding the Atreides flag.

Like, we just saw the Sardaukar forming up with their numerous flag bearers, even trying to maintain their flags raised after the nuclear detonation (in a shot that mirrored the famous "Raising the Flag in Iwo Jima" statue to me btw, nice nod to imperialism).

And then the Fremen arrive, but they're not bearing their colors, their flags, not fighting in their own names, instead it's the Atreides colors. The colors of their new, imperially appointed rulers. New pawns in the warfare between Great Houses, soldiers instead of freedom fighters. Urgh. Wish i could make gifsets.

Yeah yeah yeah it's horrifying!! You are watching a national liberation movement get successfully co-opted by a superpower and it's awful!

They did such a good job making it feel creepy and foreboding when the Atreides symbols and motifs start re-appearing in the last hour or so of the movie. The second Gurney shows up he immediately re-introduces the Atreides way of looking at the world, and it's disturbing how easily Paul falls back into thinking like that, seeing the planet and its people as tools to be used in an inter-imperial power play. (It's right after Gurney tells him about the family nukes that Paul has the signet ring out for the first time since the beginning of the second act and we're like OH NO.) This is before he drinks the Water of Life; he is already starting to think like a colonial duke again some time before he declares himself one.

After the opening montage where we see the piles of bodies being burnt, we don't see the stylized Atreides hawk symbol for most of the movie. The next time it appears is on a vault of nuclear weapons, which are never treated as anything but a curse. It's so important that Stilgar and Chani are with Paul and Gurney when they open the vault so we can see their horror at these weapons and the gleeful, casual way Gurney talks about them. Chani is also seeing an aspect of Paul that she hasn't really witnessed before--Paul, the Future of House Atreides--and she does not like it.

And then of course the whole ending battle is making the point over and over again with repeated imagery that Atreides and Harkonnens are exactly the fucking same. All the imagery from the initial Harkonnen attack on Arrakeen in Part One--which at least shows the Atreides as brave in the face of overwhelming odds--gets inverted into something that's supposed to make us shudder. That scene of Gurney hacking his way through the crowd of soldiers with someone carrying the Atreides flag behind him? Nightmarish.

All of this stuff is super important to what the movie is trying to say because it is very very easy for us to buy into the Atreides' propaganda about themselves being the good guys. If we're paying attention to what Chani tells us in the literal first 3 minutes of the first movie, we already know we should be viewing them with a bit of critical distance. And while I think there is plenty in the first movie to make us side-eye their noble image (Leto saying we will bring peace to Arrakis?? fucking yikes dude), it's easy to forget that because Leto generally seems like a good dude to the people close to him, and he dies tragically so we never get to see much of what kind of colonizer he would have become. And I think it's easy to start thinking well if only Leto the more reasonable parent had lived then things wouldn't have turned out this way.

But fucking desert power?? That was Leto's idea. This is Leto's dream being realized. The plan was always to use the Fremen as pawns in the power struggle between the Great Houses. Maybe not quite in the way that Paul does cause he definitely goes off with it, but the end result is just as much a product of Atreides imperialism as it is of Bene Gesserit religious colonialism. The Atreides aren't inherently any more noble or benevolent than the Harkonnens in their intentions, they just have better PR. But the end result is exactly the same: a pile of dead bodies being set on fire.

[vxnuslogy]

— love is (ir)rational. ft. veritas ratio

— warnings: angst and breakups

— author's note: incredibly self-indulgent and heavily influenced by tiktoks and mitski songs. the last statement is from this article so please give it a read since its very interesting !!

to say that your relationship with veritas ratio was hanging by a thread was an understatement.

you tried your hardest to sweep every argument at night when you enter his office under the rug and prayed to the aeons that he'd forget it when morning came; you never learned how to deal with confrontation, so you did what you do best: avoid the situation entirely at all cost.

playing as the fool who couldn't see the cracks in your already fragile situation with ratio but still clinged onto the tiniest of hopes that everything will be fixed. that no argument between you two would actually leave you to split paths. you always found a way to one another, a middle ground you had unspokenly created. you always made it work. you had to make it work.

“this is not going to work, [name]!” he shouts as you fight back tears.

“you don't know that! we always make it work don't we, veritas? you can't just decide stuff like this on your own!” you argue with him the best you could, but veritas ratio was a genius. 

you will never win an argument against him.

“this is hurting us. you.” he sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “we can't continue like this, and you know it.”

“then continue to hurt me.” you desperately try to claw into your lover's mind. trying to keep any piece of him because it was better to not have anything at all. “i don't care if it hurts, veritas! if it's you then it's fine, i can look past it.”

you look like a scared animal, desperate for love and the need to feel something, even if it was pain.

“we'll be fine, veritas.” you clutch onto your shirt as tears pricked your eyes. “we have to! you promised me!”

ratio was a logical man. he was a genius. someone who should've been acknowledged by nous themselves. but at this very moment, he realizes that no amount of academic knowledge will compare to the flurry of the unknown emotional wreckage that is you. someone who thinks too much of love. bewitched with the prospect of love instead of their actual partner - him.

“veritas, please… we can still make this work.”

the diplomas of his achievements were a farce; a big hoax to hide the hollowness that resides within where his heart should be.

“you and i both know that we were both too far gone to save.”

ratio closes his eyes. trying his best to rid the hurt and shrinking image of you from his mind. 

“you don't know how to love yourself.” you avoided the truth to protect yourself, he traversed the universe to make the truth known. “how can you expect me to give you the love you want when you don't even know what it is?”

what an ugly pair you two make.

“that's bullshit!” you were gasping for air. scavenging your mind to try and find a way to refute him like you always do. “i want you, veritas! do you not understand that?”

“no.” he answered with a shake of his head. “no, i do not, [name].”

you feel your already broken heart crack a little more.

“that stuff is all bullshit.” your whisper now was just above whisper. “so what if what you said is true? you loved me at least didn't you?”

veritas didn't like the way you looked at him. so full of loneliness and fear. that look didn't suit you, not in the slightest.

“that's all i needed, veritas. you loved me so much i forgot what it felt like to hate myself.”

to love means to surrender intellectual control; veritas ratio cannot rationalize love even if you told him otherwise. but there was one thing you didn't tell him - one thing you refused to tell veritas ratio.

‘if your partner has inherently good qualities, but your love for them is based on a projection of your fantasy onto them, your love does not fit the qualities of the beloved that fueled your love. your love fails to be epistemically justified.’

— [name], ????. the emotion that is love.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

[astroismypassion]

Astrology observations 🧡🐱🍊

Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

🧡 Libra Chiron and Chiron in the 7th house native can often attract a partner with a “man child” behaviour. They might go that far to give nickname to their partner, such as “mamma”, “daddy”, “mamacita” etc.

🍊 Saturn in the 7th house people can divorce around the same age as their parents age were when they got a divorce. This native can disconnect emotionally from their partner around the age their parents divorced.

🐱 Why Sun in the 12th house often comes across as a victim is often, because they change the narrative. They present one story and later they change it or present another aspect of it, which people don’t end up accepting and would often accuse the person of trying to portray themselves as a victim.

🧡 Gemini IC or Gemini over the 4th house native: some of your family members tend to have allergies

🍊Libra Moon men inherently have a knack for what women like in partnerships and how they enjoy being seduced. They just have this natural knowing and instinct. They also think that they seem to prefer big romantic gestures (such as picnic) over gifts.

🐱 Saturn over the 2nd house transit: in the middle of the transit you might realize that money and financial stability doesn’t buy you happiness, emotional stability, confidence, optimistic outlook or status.

🧡 Cancer Venus loves the idea of marrying their first crush. Or someone they have known since teenage years or their whole life.

🍊 Capricorn Jupiter ends up marrying someone older than them. Or a bit younger, but often older. Similar Aquarius Jupiter, either someone a lot older or someone younger. Meanwhile, Libra Jupiter often marries someone with the same age, their peer, because they like an equal partner. Gemini Jupiter ends up marrying someone with whom they have 2-3 years age difference.

🐱 Pisces Venus really enjoys reviewing red carpet looks, fashion choices and outfits. They also really like to discuss fashion and they sometimes idealize it. They share this with Taurus Venus as well.

🧡Aries Moons love dance soo much. Even if they just broke up with someone, failed an exam, broke off an engagement, they are like... at least I can still have dance and have fun. They really express their emotion through dancing.

🍊Celebrities who have Libra MC are often known for their perfume. Such as Gabrielle Coco Chanel and perfume Chanel No. 5, which remains one of the best known perfumes of all time around the world.

🐱Taurus Venus women often face remarks of other people about their body, I would say even more so if the woman also has Taurus, Libra or Aries Moon and Scorpio Rising or Rising at a Scorpio degree. Much like in the case of Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez.

🧡 People who have Gemini Moon or Gemini IC: your parents might often criticize your partner.

🍊Virgo MC often perfects their craft to the last detail. Their clothes are really carefully chosen and curated when younger just to have nurture this image of being flawless. But with age, they tend to dress down, show themselves just as their are. Often they grow to understand that what their identity is and who they are (Pisces IC) is already enough on its own. That they don't need to be perfectly dress or put on a performance without any mistakes. Celebrity examples would be Kim Kardashian, who dresses down with age and likes to present herself in a more "natural" light. Also Justin Bieber, who used to plan out all of his performances with perfect dances and clothing. All was well curated for the audience and the public.

🐱Also, when you have Virgo Midheaven you are more likely to SELL something. Like your own perfumes, bracelets, tarot readings, astrology chart readings, your own music, clothing etc. Even if you are working as a waiter since Virgo is related to service, you are selling drinks and food in the end.

🧡 People with Libra MC or Libra over the 10th house might get accused of having a job or a career only because of their spouse or partner. Like "Kanye made Kim" who has Libra over the 10th house. These people can also end up working for their spouse's business.

🍊Composite Pisces Mars or Mars at a Pisces degree (12, 24) can often cause delays in who one person sees things and when the other learns about them. You might write them a love letter or decide to tell them your feelings months in advance. But they don't really know about your intentions and might hear things for the first time much later than you. Or you might plan a birthday surprise months in advance, but your person might only learn about it much later. Or they mention something they like that you have already bought them or plan to give them.

Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

[evilscientist3]

so do you actually support ai "art" or is that part of the evil bit :| because um. yikes.

Let me preface this by saying: I think the cutting edge of AI as we know it sucks shit. ChatGPT spews worthless, insipid garbage as a rule, and frequently provides enticingly fluent and thoroughly wrong outputs whenever any objective fact comes into play. Image generators produce over-rendered, uncanny slop that often falls to pieces under the lightest scrutiny. There is little that could convince me to use any AI tool currently on the market, and I am notably more hostile to AI than many people I know in real life in this respect.

That being said, these problems are not inherent to AI. In two years, or a decade, perhaps they will be our equals in producing writing and images. I know a philosopher who is of the belief that one day, AI will simply be better than us - smarter, funnier, more likeable in conversation - I am far from convinced of this myself, but let us hope, if such a case arises, they don't get better at ratfucking and warmongering too.

Many of the inherent problems posed by AI are philosophical in nature. Would a sufficiently advanced AI be appreciably different to a conscious entity? Can their outputs be described as art? These are questions whose mere axioms could themselves be argued over in PhD theses ad infinitum. I am not particularly interested in these, for to be so on top of the myriad demands of my work would either drive me mad or kill me outright. Fortunately, their fractally debatable nature means that no watertight argument could be given to them by you, either, so we may declare ourselves in happy, clueless agreement on these topics so long as you are willing to confront their unconfrontability.

Thus, I would prefer to turn to the current material issues encountered in the creation and use of AI. These, too, are not inherent to their use, but I will provide a more careful treatment of them than a simple supposition that they will evaporate in coming years.

I would consider the principal material issues surrounding AI to lie in the replacement of human labourers and wanton generation of garbage content it facilitates, and the ethics of training it on datasets collected without contributors' consent. In the first case, it is prudent to recall the understanding of Luddites held by Marx - he says, in Ch. 15 of Das Kapital: "It took both time and experience before workers learnt to distinguish between machinery and its employment by capital, and therefore to transfer their attacks from the material instruments of production to the form of society which utilises those instruments." The Industrial Revolution's novel forms of production and subsequent societal consequences has mirrored the majority of advances in production since. As then, the commercial application of the new technology must be understood to be a product of capital. To resist the technology itself on these grounds is to melt an iceberg's tip, treating the vestigial symptom of a vast syndrome. The replacement of labourers is with certainty a pressing issue that warrants action, but such action must be considered and strategic, rather than a reflexive reaction to something new. As is clear in hindsight for the technology of two centuries ago, mere impedance of technological progression is not for the better.

The second case is one I find deeply alarming - the degradation of written content's reliability threatens all knowledge, extending to my field. Already, several scientific papers have drawn outrage in being seen to pass peer review despite blatant inclusion of AI outputs. I would be tempted to, as a joke to myself more than others, begin this response with "Certainly. Here is how you could respond to this question:" so as to mirror these charlatans, would it not without a doubt enrage a great many who don't know better than to fall for such a trick. This issue, however, is one I believe to be ephemeral - so pressing is it, that a response must be formulated by those who value understanding. And so are responses being formulated - major online information sources, such as Wikipedia and its sister projects, have written or are writing rules on their use. The journals will, in time, scramble to save their reputations and dignities, and do so thoroughly - academics have professional standings to lose, so keeping them from using LLMs is as simple as threatening those. Perhaps nothing will be done for your average Google search result - though this is far from certain - but it has always been the conventional wisdom that more than one site ought to be consulted in a search for information.

The third is one I am torn on. My first instinct is to condemn the training of AI on material gathered without consent. However, this becomes more and more problematic with scrutiny. Arguments against this focusing on plagiarism or direct theft are pretty much bunk - statistical models don't really work like that. Personal control of one's data, meanwhile, is a commendable right, but is difficult to ensure without merely extending the argument made by the proponents of copyright, which is widely understood to be a disastrous construct that for the most part harms small artists. In this respect, then, it falls into the larger camp of problems primarily caused by the capital wielding the technology.

Let me finish this by posing a hypothetical. Suppose AI does, as my philosopher friend believes, become smarter and more creative than us in a few years or decades; suppose in addition it may be said through whatever means to be entirely unobjectionable, ethically or otherwise. Under these circumstances, would I then go to a robot to commission art of my fursona? The answer from me is a resounding no. My reasoning is simple - it wouldn't feel right. So long as the robot remains capable of effortlessly and passionlessly producing pictures, it would feel like cheating. Rationally explaining this deserves no effort - my reasoning would be motivated by the conclusion, rather than vice versa. It is simply my personal taste not to get art I don't feel is real. It is vitally important, however, that I not mistake this feeling as evidence of any true inferiority - to suppose that effortlessness or pasionlessness invalidate art is to stray back into the field of messy philosophical questions. I am allowed, as are you, to possess personal tastes separate from the quality of things.

Summary: I don't like AI. However, most of the problems with AI which aren't "it's bad" (likely to be fixed over time) or abstract philosophical questions (too debatable to be used to make a judgement) are material issues caused by capitalism, just as communists have been saying about every similarly disruptive new technology for over a century. Other issues can likely be fixed over time, as with quality. From a non-rational standpoint, I dislike the idea of using AI even separated from current issues, but I recognise, and encourage you to recognise, that this is not evidence of an actual inherent inferiority of AI in the abstract. You are allowed to have preferences that aren't hastily rationalised over.

[sloshed-cinema]

Noroi: The Curse [ノロイ] (2005)

Horror can sometimes be an experiment in sociology: what frightens a particular target audience? How can a filmmaker or storyteller prey on the social anxieties of a group? But sometimes, a horror movie almost sheds more insight into the mindset of the filmmaker themselves than it does on the effect they were trying to have on their viewer. Does Koji Shiraishi trust his audience to actually be paying attention to his movie? Apparently not, because anything remotely spooky gets treated like some kind of NFL instant replay after a coach has appealed the referee’s call. Wait, was that a spooky kid in the background? Shit, guess I’d better rewind, slow it way down, and zoom in on the part of the frame in question. Fuck! I guess that’s creepy as hell! At best, this just draws a groan, a sort of “yep, I got it already” sort of reaction. At worst… well, the final shot of the film decides to recall maybe the most goofily awful effects image of the entire movie, so what a way to end things. It’s tempting to dunk on all of the rhapsodic reviews from the Reddit type mindset who seem to think this is some sort of under appreciated classic of mindfuck horror, but that would be as easy as freeze-framing on something from three scenes ago that the audience might not have caught if it hadn’t been obvious enough the first time around. The film squanders everything that it sets up for itself in its promising early sequences. The inherent chaotic exploitation of Japanese reality TV shows is captured in a way which makes it clear nothing good will come of this: a little girl is exploited and reveals creepy details during a psychic contest, and a troubled medium attacks a cohost in an interview show gone wrong. Mix in the disruption of ancient ritual by modernization in the form of a dam project, and boy have you got a stew going, baby! But as the runtime drags ever on, the narrative strategy shifts from using its strengths—pseudodocumentarian fragments of a greater story to be pieced together by the viewer, horrifying in its gaps—to caving to the subgenre’s weaknesses—cheap shaky-cam exploitation and incoherence for the sake of incoherence. But at least it’s finally getting the 1080p BluRay treatment by Arrow that something which is mostly deep-fried VHS-rip type footage that this sort of film deserves.

I do wish I had more insight into the Shinto elements and influences that are abundant in the fascinating folk-horror which makes the backbone for a disappointing ultimate delivery. Talk of kami and oni litters the more spiritually focused conversations, drawing a pall around whatever the fuck was going on in this community before the dam ushered it to a watery grave, and practices have a way of persisting, as evidenced by the tight-lipped new settlement with all of their dogs. Knots are rendered horrific and severed, and unique rituals bring untold horrors. An interesting backdrop. More of this.

THE RULES

SIP

Someone says 'worms' or 'Kagutaba'.

The movie freeze-frames on an image.

Hilariously ominous onscreen text.

We cut to a new archival clip.

BIG DRINK

The movie makes sure you know something was scary.

DOGGIE

[bright-eyed]

.

So I was freaking out the other night because i had like an awkward 30 minute conversation at the bar with my favorite old professor. She told me that i was a good writer, and asked me why i wasn’t writing. I was just like “idk, i’m watching youtube.” (I didn’t exactly say it like that, but basically.) Then she was like “why are you doing that?” and i didn’t know why.

I felt so overcome with guilt/shame/regret. But also i felt like a piece of shit because idk how i will ever be able to make myself change or overcome this fear of failure/ego death and do better with my life. It’s stopped me from trying for so much of what i want since i was like a little kid—and the thought of not being able to stop myself from giving up before i even start makes me viscerally hate myself… I feel immature and weak for finding it so difficult to do anything more than what I’m already doing. And I hate where I am! And i know i could do other things and be much happier.

But I also know I should probably give myself grace because for years I was working my way out of deep depression, and i did it on my own, and that was its own accomplishment even if it might mean I’m a little behind on accomplishing like ambitions or dreams. I guess? For so long i just had to be focused on not dying or blowing up my own life that i couldn’t focus on that, and i guess i’m still in the mindset of assuming it’s impossible to do more than get through the day, or at least im not practiced in that.

But i’m so phenomenally frustrated with myself that it makes me feel sick and trapped in my own body. The entire world is weighing down on me—all of the things I feel like i need to do and be, all at once, all the time. It feels like I am utterly unequipped to have dreams, so instead of me fulfilling my dreams, they haunt me instead

I guess part of me also resents that i never had any real support. When i was talking about how i only ever really applied to one college, and only did that because it had an easy and cheap application process, Professor asked me why my parents never pushed me to apply for more—she seems to be under the very mistaken impression that i could have gotten into a lot of colleges—and i just told her they just didn’t really involve themselves in my life very much, especially when i was a teenager. Until I said that I’d never even realized that it might be weird for your parents to not push you to apply for colleges, or even really know anything about your life or school experience or ambitions or anything. I just got so angry

And that feels like such a big thing that i’ve had this huge blind spot for this whole time, like why didn’t (and don’t) my parents care ? Where would i be if they had (or did)? Would i feel more empowered and confident enough to try new things, or was i just born weaker than most people? Will i ever know?

What if im not inherently this way but i still can’t undo the damage years of failing and being failed has done to me? Does it even matter if i’m not doomed by nature if i never manage to escape it anyway?

I started writing this post the other night and then ended up talking to my best friend on the phone for two hours which helped. But I'm going to need to transform this frustration with myself into action sooner rather than later because I can't keep living like this and I know on some level it would be so easy to. You know how the time will pass anyways.

Thinking about how much time ive already lost and how much time i might or might not have left to lose makes me feel already halfway dead. I know this resembles a grave but isn’t, but i might stay here long enough to make it one. I keep misstepping back into it. I keep crawling back in and pulling the lid back over to block out the light because I can’t bear it I feel like this is turning too poetic but i can’t explain how i feel in anything but images i guess. I just wish I could be different without having to do the work to change because I don’t trust myself to change. I wish I could be perfect because it’s the only way I feel like I’ll be okay. It’s dumb but idk that’s how I feel

[booblywooblies]

im gonna post this here bc i dont want anyone to get the wrong idea on main

ive been thinking for a long time about why detransitioners are usually afab, and i think im developing a couple theories. the first one is i think its more difficult to be classified as a man, genuinely, than a woman. i know that seems immediately incorrect bc a big aspect of transmisogyny is denying transfems their womanhood but i think even if transphobes are calling transfems men they dont really mean it. theres been some talk about which trans people have "male privilege" and some people argue transfems do and the most common response to that is that even if transfems are not out they are not regarded as true men, theres something about them that people can pick up on as inherently queer that others them from manhood (sometimes, all of this is sometimes nothing is universal)

i watched a video a while ago about the "incel to trans pipeline" which was kind of about the type of incel that isnt so much concerned with the lack of sex so much as being a failure as a man and how theres a group on like 4chan or something that seek transition not because theyre trans but to escape the pressures of masculinity and i thought that was really interesting

i think that in some ways, despite all the bullshit women go through with being belittled and objectified and disrespected, there is maybe some comfort in being the "weaker" gender, and the more "desireable" gender.

something ive been dealing with that, i mean it hasnt really been a struggle bc i enjoy men even when they are fat and greasy and hairy so im down with being that. theres something thats very weird about losing like, a certain pool of attention i guess. ive been hit with the realization that i will never be attractive to straight men again, and like thats a good thing because i wouldnt want them to see me as a woman im also kinda sad about it? like it feels like im losing a kind of power, even if its not a real power that has any actual use to me

and i probably dont even have to mention how intimidating it is to present myself to the world as a real man, especially when im 5 foot nothing and have H cups. like one thing when it comes to trans men that EVERYONE says about them is they are either basically only men in name, hanging on to their girly habits and interests in a way thats cringy and annoying, or they, in an effort to distance themselves from the first one just adopt toxic masculinity and beef up their own image of themselves by being more misogynistic

and obviously the first end is more on the people putting them down than the guys who are like that themselves, but thats what im really afraid of, ive already experienced being put down for my interests as a girl, the idea of being denied my real gender for any of that stuff is terrifying. and like, its kind of inherently misogynist to want to escape fully from femininity isnt it? and i do value anti-misogyny more than i do masculinity, thats definitely true in my heart. but it sort of feels at odds with each other, its hard to want to be a man, to seek approval as a man, to care about women being taken as seriously as you want to be taken, and to not put anyone down in your path to get there.

like if i wasnt so committed to it, if i believed this was ACTUALLY more in conflict than i really do, i could see myself as having a responsibility to not transition. im sure a lot of people have a different reason for doing that but i think it makes sense that so many afabs detransition because masculinity can break people.

and like BIG BIG BIG disclaimer, im not thinking about detransitioning, i dont think masculinity is inherently toxic, im gay and i have a cis husband, i think men are cool, i think women are cool and i like them a lot i respect them. im just inspecting this because i was not sure why it happens and i figured itd be in my best interest to figure it out, i think i have, i think its difficult and complicated but doesnt apply to me.

im transitioning bc it feels good and i have a man fetish 👍 and no one can stop me motherfucker

[thisdykesthoughts]

Greta Gerwig's Filmmaking Has Become Anti-Feminist: My Predictions for "Feminist" Film in the Near Future

Greta Gerwig has created an image of feminism for herself. With Lady Bird subverting expectations and becoming an icon of feminist filmmaking. Once she took on the challenge of little women, she set herself up for failure.

Little Women is a beloved but outdated depiction of a group of sisters living through the Civil War. Gerwig mentions the expectation for women to end up in a romantic relationship at the end of classic stories, yet she gives us this ending anyway. At this moment, Gerwig is a subject of the creation before her. Little Women is a story that everyone knows. She is involved in a system that expects her to write a story that has been written for her. She tries her best to include feminist themes in the classic story but it ends up coming across as disingenuous. It feels like an attempt to dodge potential feminist commentary on the film before the film is ever released.

This is not entirely her fault, as she becomes involved with projects that are recreating a classic story or telling the story of a beloved doll, she puts herself in a box and becomes the system she fights against.

As Gerwig grows in popularity as a director and writer, she finds herself more and more in the political spotlight. She is expected to take on projects that have feminist themes, like Barbie. Mattel has been criticized for the sexualization of Barbie and the singularity of her body image for decades. Only recently, in 2016, did Mattel release more body types for the popular doll. This change was only implemented after a major profit crash for the toy company because of the criticism of Barbie.

Gerwig has become involved in an inescapable industry where profit is the main priority. The Barbie Movie has been criticized for its "half-baked feminism" before. But this is not what I seek to achieve. Barbie is another story that has been told time and time again. Gerwig has involved herself in a narrative that already exists. Like in Little Women, she attempts to avoid commentary by throwing in lines like "Margot Robbie is too pretty to say that she's not beautiful." This does not make the audience feel better about themselves, it does the opposite.

The Barbie Movie has victimized Barbie. Creating a "real girl" that feels the impact of misogyny. In the movie, Barbie is a victim of Mattel and their agenda. When in reality, Barbie is the product of Matel and their agenda. When their agenda is profit. all the while, Mattel is portrayed in the movie as silly little men who can't tell the difference between two blonde women. The true driver for the company has been hidden behind pretty colors and Will Farrel. It sounds silly because it is supposed to.

Greta Gerwig has dug herself into a system that by definition uses feminism as a veil to generate profit. Barbie as a company is too far gone to be truly feminist. Gerwig's involvement in the film is the only thing that keeps me believing that the film is feminist. But the more I think about it, the more I believe that Gerwig is veering further away from feminist ideas with every film she puts out.

The goal is not to "have it all" (the saying being misogynistic altogether) yet there are still the narratives that movies like Barbie are pushing out. To create truly feminist media, directors like Gerwig need to abandon the big-money deals that keep pulling them in.

Barbie was destined for failure since its conception as a film. The goal of feminism is not to make life as bearable as possible under the patriarchy but to dismantle it altogether. Yes, I am using Barbie as a brand as a metaphor for the patriarchy. Let me live. By becoming involved in films like Barbie, Gerwig is participating in the system that is capitalism. Capitalism is inherently anti-feminist. Barbie's image has always been about buying. Barbie is not all of the careers that she claims to be, she has all of the clothes for them. Since the beginning, Barbie has been about consumption. Mattel sells the idea that to be like Barbie, you should buy all of the outfits and accessories that go with whatever career you want! Because girls can do anything boys can do!

Barbie was never about encouraging girls to be whoever they want to be. It has always been about pushing out more Mattel products to children. The movie falls victim to this narrative too. The matriarchy of Barbieland is a mirror image of the patriarchy, just with women in the leading roles. This is a perfect illustration of my criticisms of the movie. Instead of breaking out of the cage, Gerwig contributes to it. A true matriarchy looks nothing like our current society. The way our society is designed is created for men.

Here comes the parallel: the way Barbie has been designed by Mattel is created for our current, patriarchal society of consumerism and capitalism. The movie is a victim of this too. As long as we create media within the confines of previous narratives and under larger institutions, the media will be inherently anti-feminist. No matter how "feminist" the director may be. No matter how many random lines they add to the subtext to avoid feminist attacks on their film. The film was never feminist. Once the idea was conceived, it mirrored the ideas of a patriarchal society; a cage that can be criticized from the inside, but not broken out of.

AN: hey! thanks so much for reading! this post was originally a twitter thread on my account @/dyke5ever if you'd like to check it out.

this post was kind of half-assed, i didnt really dive into my arguments as much as i would have liked to but i plan on writing a take on allan and why women love him as a character so much later, so i will jump into more feminist themes in that post.

[amporella]

Hey! I don’t remember seeing anything problematic in the kyman zines. I didn’t read the fics tho, was it in there or is it possible I missed something?

There's a chance that you downloaded the zine after the piece was removed, and didn't see it because of that! Here's a recap of the Kyman Zine situation, though (warning that it's kind of long):

The Kyman Zine was a zine primarily produced on Twitter by @/shokikita, @/shouriii (who you may know better as @/mirrorshards on Tumblr) and @/DrAbesacraben. The Kyman Zine was entrenched in a lot of drama since the beginning, mainly because a user suspected to be from the Kyman Zine (and confirmed to be from the Ships Ahoy discord server, which remains unaddressed by the mods) was harassing anyone who shipped style (as well as slandering the style zine organizers), but that somehow was not the biggest issue the Kyman Zine caused for themselves.

The biggest issue was that the Kyman Zine had actual, literal NAZI PROPAGANDA in it. Once again, I'm attaching the images on Imgur because needless to say, they can be triggering. Here's the link to an Imgur album with the image posted in the Kyman Zine, as well as a few examples of Nazi propaganda that DIRECTLY parallel what was put in the zine. I literally would not be surprised if the artist used actual nazi propaganda as a reference for their piece.

The tweet by the artist initially posting the image (along with two others they had drawn for the zine) has been deleted, but here's a screengrab I have about what the tweet originally titled the piece as; "Manipulation". Not a good look.

The fact that the artist drew something like this isn't inherently surprising to me; a subsection of the kyman fandom has always had its issues with antisemitism. But the fact that it managed to pass THREE ORGANIZERS looking at it and accepting it into the zine is legitimately baffling to me. There is no reasonable excuse for it to pass three sets of eyes, and for all three to say 'all clear!'

And even beyond that, one of the organizers ADMITTED that she didn't even know the Jewish puppetmaster antisemitic trope was a thing. How can you possibly take on the job of doing a zine for a ship where antisemitism is a CORE part of the dynamic, and fail so badly at educating yourself beforehand? How can you expect to be able to effectively monitor those submitted works when you don't even know what you're supposed to be looking for? (I'm censoring the username of a person who called them out on it here for privacy; that's why their url is whited out)

The zine team did end up apologizing for allowing the piece into the zine, and they removed the piece from the zine before reuploading it to itch.io. But seriously, how did this even happen in the first place. HOW DO YOU HAVE A RULE FORBIDDING WW2 IMAGERY (and HOW WOULD YOU NOT THINK TWICE ABOUT NEEDING THAT RULE) AND THEN FAIL TO UPHOLD IT? HOW IS THAT SO HARD?

The organizers also 'thanked' the people who reached out about this problem, which would probably sound more sincere if one of the organizers (yup, the one I already mentioned up above) didn't ARGUE with a person who pointed it out because they weren't respecting the opinion that it wasn't nazi propaganda. (Once again, the user is whited out, and the user whose posts you can't see is one of the zine organizers who blocked me </3)

Needless to say, it isn't an opinion that the above image had similarities to nazi propaganda; it's a fact. The organizers couldn't even accept that they had fucked up without acting like the victims.

And now these THREE SAME PEOPLE are the ones who are running the Kyle zine - a zine specifically about a Jewish character. These three same people who are so oblivious to antisemitic history that they couldn't even recognize the Jewish puppetmaster trope for what it is, and those three same people who exposed that wildly antisemitic fanart to literally thousands of people who downloaded it.

Furthermore, the Kyle zine is titled 'Jewish, Jersey, and Ginger'; literally a quote by Cartman. Generally, I would disapprove of having a zine that was supposed to be non-shippy be run by three notorious shippers (especially who had just run a zine about shipping), but I disapprove of it even MORE heavily when those same organizers have a history of being so negligent that Nazi propaganda ends up in their zine.

I can only assume the Kyle Zine is going to be an absolute disaster. The organizers do not seem capable of monitoring the content that ends up in the zine effectively, and honestly I think it would be a miracle if the zine somehow was produced without anything glaringly antisemitic in it. If the Kyman Zine people truly felt remorseful about their mistakes, they would have dropped the Kyle Zine and took some time to educate themselves on what they had done wrong; instead, they went full steam ahead and decided to blame everyone else.

It was really terrible. The Kyle Zine is free as far as I'm aware, but I still can't recommend downloading it based solely on principle. Don't give the organizers your views. What they did is seriously fucked and if a Kyle Zine was to be produced (or even another Kyman Zine), it would need MUCH more careful monitoring than those organizers could provide.

[phoenixrisesoncemore]

Effoliate the Tree of Tales

It's Tolkien Tuesday on Twitter with a theme of "trees," and I thought I'd share my thoughts from there on tumblr as well.

These days the first tree that comes to mind when I think of Tolkien is perhaps an odd one: the Tree of Amalion, a "tree of tales" which Tolkien drew at least three times. This one (which I saw in person!) is my favorite.

Dated to the time of the writing of The Lord of the Rings, The Maker of Middle-earth exhibit catalogue describes it as "a representation of the stories and poems that arose in [Tolkien’s] mind but required uninterrupted time and concentration to bring to fulfillment: luxuries which, as a conscientious academic and devoted husband and father, he did not possess." By the time of The Lord of the Rings, Tolkien seems to have become aware that there were tales he would never live to tell—his fate, after all, would be the fate of all Men.

There are at least two other versions of this tree, and the one on the left is probably the one most people are familiar with since it appears on the cover to the 2001 HarperCollins paperback edition of Tree and Leaf—quite a fitting choice!

But this type of iteration and variation goes deeper than iterations of the entire tree. On each tree no two flowers are alike, and yet each is a new combination of the colors and shapes present in the other flowers. Variation. Adaptation?

Diversity in creation is inherently good (consider Melkor's repetitive additions to the music as they attempt, like a cancer, to drown out the variety of the voices around him). Even more than inherently good, diversity may be necessary. The splintered light that is "endlessly combined in living shapes that move from mind to mind" in Mythopoeia is positive, even if the the splintering, itself, can be cast as negative, providing for Creation what Verlyn Flieger in her book Splintered Light calls the "absolute necessity of change." Meanwhile, Jonathan McIntosh in The Flame Imperishable points to humanity as a necessary participant in Creation who through myth-telling allows "reality for the first time [to come] into its own, accomplishing by God’s own ordination the ‘effoliation and multiple enrichment of creation,’” a reference to "On Fairy-stories."

Is this why “things more beautiful” (per Manwe) are “more” beautiful? The “more” first qualifies not quality, but quantity. The addition of “more” beauty (quantitatively) to the pattern creates a pattern that is “more” beautiful (qualitatively).

“Effoliate” is a rather archaic botany term that means “to open into leaf.” And here we make the jump from image to image—from light to trees—as metaphors for the reality-completing act of subcreation. The jump is not far: light and trees are already linked in Tolkien. All manner of human creative activity can be represented in these two images.

In my blog's drafts folder is a post titled "The Infinite Variety of God: The Evolutionist and The Creationist Visit Middle-earth" about the Tree of Amalion, fanfiction, and this line from "On Fairy-stories." One important point from it: every act of creation (in the world as we know it) recombines already existing objects/symbols/ideas into new configurations. The new configuration is a new thing in and of itself, but it is built from "colors" and "shapes" that predate it. Fanfiction is a variation on this process that is (very generally) situated within particular social and economic boundaries. The "colors and shapes" that are used as the building blocks in the creation of fanfiction may be more complex or recent than more generalized tropes, symbols, and conventions used in "original" works, but every act of written sub-creation ("original" or "fanfiction") draws on what came before it right down to the conventions of story-telling, symbolic associations, and a shared understanding of words themselves.

The Tree of Amalion represents this very process: the colors and shapes of one story are recombined into something else, something that references and reflects but splinters and evolves, actualizing Creation as only The Children and the infinite variety of sub-creation can.

So go write your fanfic!

Effoliate the Tree of Tales.

And if anyone complains, tell them you’re doing the Lord’s work.

[thisweekinfandomhistory]

omg i just found your podcast and it’s incredibly cathartic to listen to as i have felt the loss of fandom spaces over the past few years (tumblr dying and twitter being hard to use for that). livejournal sounds so nice. I wish there was another social media site that would allow that sort of community again for art and fandom and connection.

Thank you so much for listening and writing in! The loss of fandom spaces is always so hard and sad -- I (V) still mourn the landscape of individually run HTML fansites that ran all the way to the horizon back in Web 1.0. I miss fun layouts! I miss image galleries! I miss fandom mailing lists! (And I highly recommend The Rec Center if you don't already subscribe to them).

I actually think that Tumblr isn't dying so much as accepting its size and scope -- it ISN'T a social media site, and it's never been something that was going to be able to compete with social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for mainstream, everyday-Joe users. People who don't have a hyperfixation or a fandom want to see a variety of content and are easy for The Algorithm to feed. Tumblr users... are not.

Tumblr may have started out with the goal of being a hub for Srs Bsns Photographers & Poets/Writers, but everything about its format makes it the perfect site for fandom to flourish.

I'm really happy that Tumblr itself is embracing that now! AFAIK their actual slogan on the Apple App Store is "Tumblr: The Home of Fandom." Fandom is a niche subculture. We're just not gonna have the numbers of a Twitter or a TikTok. (And honestly, thank fucking god. Can you even imagine the chaos. I shudder to think.)

Tumblr is a microblogging site. It's for people who write too much for Twitter and whose images aren't the vibe of Instagram. It's for gifsets, which are an art medium unto themselves that social media sites wouldn't have any use for, really. And it's definitely not for Norbert in Accounting to connect with his grandma on like Facebook.

The anonymity of Tumblr is antithetical to modern social media sites -- even though IT IS INSANE TO ME THAT PEOPLE PUT THEIR REAL NAMES AND PHOTOS ONLINE, DID WE NOT LEARN ABOUT STRANGER DANGER??? -- and the fact that Tumblr is inherently ABOUT transformational, shared, "yes and" content, rather than mostly original pithy content like Twitter and IG and TikTok, makes it attractive to people with the hyperfocus of fans more than people who want to scroll and scroll and just see Stuff. I mean, obviously on Tumblr we're all looking at Stuff, but you can CURATE your feed on Tumblr in a way that you can't on social media. Curation is the enemy of The Algorithm. And Tumblr users fucking hate The Algorithm.

And honestly? The Algorithm hates fandom, because it's really hard to market things to someone with a hyperfixation. I don't CARE about your product, and seeing it instead of the thing I want to be looking at makes me HATE your product. The Algorithm really needs to be able to feed you a lot of different types of content to see what you're interested in. If you go into a site already knowing what you're interested in, then... ::shruggie:: Sucks to suck, Algorithm.

All of that said, yes -- community is definitely an aspect of Web 1.0 that feels like it's missing, or very hard to find, on Tumblr. I know a lot of people are finding great fannish communities on Discord these days, but I am elderly and don't know how to find Discord communities in the first place and also I'm painfully shy, so. I just Tumbl.

But I think that the loss of a sense of community is also part and parcel of Web 2.0, from the formats of websites to their function. It was easier, in Ye Olde Days, to feel connected to other people who found your fandom online because... not everyone WAS online. There was a sense that if you loved a thing enough to find your way to a fansite, or to LJ, or whatever, that was already taking the first step towards opening yourself up to friendship. Now, with social media and with smartphones and whatever else, literally everyone is online all day long. It isn't already a little club of nerds, yk?

I don't know. The internet as a whole has changed its shape and scope so much in the last ten years, let alone the last 20, that it's a whole different arena than it used to be. I don't really have any solutions or suggestions. Maybe once we get our Patreon up and running or something we'll start a TWIFH discord that people can join and make friends on.

But all of that is to say --

tl;dr, Fandom itself is antithetical to "social media" sites, and it needs blogging sites like Tumblr or LiveJournal or hand-coded HTML fansites to BE ABLE to exist. /opinion

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Personal post incoming weeoooo

Might.... do some more reading about PCOS being considered intersex (or ..intersex variation? Sorry im not familiar with terminology) because. Idk. Its.. neat? I know its not medically classified as such rn but i also know a growing amount of ppl W pcos consider themselves that way anyway bc fuck doctors dictating our lives when they barely understand our syndrome anyway.

And like, I remember the first time i heard about the idea that some people consider PCOS to be inherently related considered to be intersex it sort of knee-jerk distressed me a litttttlleeee bit. because i am a (afab/cis) woman and considering myself anything close to not-woman is distressing for me, and i blame this partly on the ""male pattern"" symptoms of PCOS, mostly hair growth. So i felt like by considering myself intersex it would like, invalidate my womanness in a way i am already stressed about,

But also i know like..... your sex or body or hormones or whatever dont actually dictate whether you are a woman and i KNOW that logically?? I have trans friends and loved ones for instances. but of course, you always want to exempt yourself from the positive things as if that cant possibly apply.

But yeah idk if its just me in this moment or if this is sort of coming out of a long while of little things percolating in my brain but i also Know i need to find self love and beauty in the body i have because i will Never be a skinny, hairless, high-heel wearing Standard BeautyTM type girl even tho i ame Very Femme. And i need to accept that i can be those things in the body i have because i cannot have another body even if i wanted plastic surgery or could afford/tolerate hair removal etc it's just not gonna happen that shits expensive and ..hmmmmmnnn.. anyway

And before you ask yes i need therapy lmao.... my former therapists and I have never addressed the body image issues because i always default to working on my anxiety but its like? Idk why i do that??

It almost doesnt make sense bc yes the anxiety is distressing but also it hasnt actually held me back that much, it hasnt prevented me from making friends bc i Have Friends, it hasnt prevented me from getting my Masters, moving several times, or having a job I like so i feel like if i do get therapy again I need to be way more intentional about what I want to work on OTHER than anxiety (its also like. Idk. Working on anxiety in ISOLATION from other stuff is also like?? Only ever gonna be so helpful. I wish holistic healthcare were actually possible imagine that)

Sorry 4 the rant and using tumblr as a diary but oh well. Its the several days between xmas and new years what else can i be doing

[percontaion-points]

Delicious Monsters chapters 23 & 24

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 23

“I can’t. I know these things… but if I say exactly what’s going to happen, there’s no changing it anymore. It gets locked in. Warnings are all I have, and you’ve already ignored the biggest one.”

Ah yes, the prophecy curse. We’ve all seen it. 

In case you might not know: it’s the thing where somebody hears a prophecy about themselves, try to avoid it happening, and end up fulfilling the prophecy. 

Example: when Voldemort heard the prophecy about the baby born in the end of July who would destroy him, he went off and killed all of the boys born around that time. However, failing to kill Harry led to his downfall… and Harry survived in order to finish the job. If Voldy had done nothing with what he’d heard, I doubt Harry, Nevil, or any other boy, would have given half as many shits. 

And in that instant I knew that this ability he had was not one he wanted. 

Do you want to see the consequences of people’s bad decisions play out, and be 100% unable to stop them? 

“No one wants to be advised. They don’t want to make better choices. That’s why it doesn’t matter if psychics are real or fake. Everyone just wants to do whatever the fuck they want to do.”

Unfortunately, I feel like this has less to do with his abilities and more about how inherently stupid humanity in general is. 

E.g, I know that the 17 year old high school girl shouldn’t be hanging around with the college-aged boy. I know this because I was once in a similar position. Sometimes, people need to learn the hard way why 17 year olds don’t date 20-somethings. Sometimes, it only takes once. Other times, you need to keep coming back in order to fully understand why this has caused you pain. 

 It was enough to throw me back into memories on a bed, his fingers pressing against my throat so hard that a tear leaked from the corner of my eye. Him panting on top of me while I waited for it to be over.

Holy fucking shit, is that…?

“Because that means it might resist how very delicious it would be to make you scream.”

Chapter 23 summary: As they walk through the halls, Daisy questions King about stuff that he might still be keeping from her. He basically says that telling people about visions of the future will practically ensure that it happens. It’s at this point that Daisy realises that it’s not exactly like King wanted this power. 

They continue on, and eventually get to the door where the first two guests are staying. They hear the woman, Mary, screaming out about a bee inside the room. Then the buzzing grows from a singular “bee” to an entire swarm of them. They heard Mary and Tod pounding on the door, trying to get out. King tries to open the door from the other side, but it won’t budge. Ivy unemotionally tells them that the only way for the house to let them go is if they give up something. 

Daisy runs out, where she flips out about Ivy’s shit behaviour back there. But it’s like… what the hell do you want Ivy to do? Ivy’s exactly like Daisy and King, in that she has supernatural powers. She can basically “communicate” with the house. Much like with King and Daisy’s power, it’s not like she asked for it, nor can she get the house to stop. King is only worried that they’re too late; the house has already claimed its first victims. 

Daisy tells them to leave her alone and runs back to the guest house. However, to her immense surprise, she finds Mary and Tod talking with her mum. They’re checking out, and Grace will be taking them back to the other shore via the boat. Daisy runs off again, only to run back into Ivy. Ivy says that people who give up things to the house don’t remember what happened after. 

They go back into the house, to the room Mary and Tod had been in . There’s nothing out of the ordinary in there. Ivy reminds Daisy that the two of them are more alike than she thinks. But she goes on to say that the house usually feeds on the dead, but it’s gotten a taste for human flesh recently… But not to worry, since it seems to like Daisy. 

Chapter 24

“I’m sorry that I let Robert hit you.” 

That was the one that hooked me. Truly reeled me in. Robert, a man my mom dated from when I was six to ten. He was a guy who believed in corporal punishment. Not just for being bad. For anything. 

For forgetting to say “please.” For not washing the dishes right. For breathing too loud. 

And she let him. She would sit on the couch and say, “If you behaved, then he wouldn’t have to do this.”

I am once again asking where the hell CPS was. Mandated reporters in school? Doctors? LIterally anybody? 

/I also have no idea how CPS works in Canada… Or even what their version of CPS is. 

“Forgotten Black Girls” wasn’t just about the media preferring to highlight a “nice white girl” instead. It was also the girls who everyone expected to fail from the start. Expected that they wouldn’t have a dad. Expected that their moms were struggling alone. Expected that they get poor grades and not achieve because that’s just how it went. And if you lashed out, that was what they expected of your ghetto ass too. Left alone to slip through the cracks. And when you failed, they would say it was your fault. If you succeeded, you were a special case. Not like those other girls. 

Going to leave this right here…

I think of my mom breaking down via voicemail about Robert. She was afraid of him too. What was she supposed to do? But I don’t have memories of her afraid. I can only remember her sitting there, saying it was my fault that he had to discipline me.

It is literally the JOB of an adult to protect children from harm. Both physical as well as psychological/emotional. 

The fact that Brittany’s mum sat there, blaming Brittany for all of the hurt Robert caused, and did nothing to stop any of it… Honestly tells me everything that I need to know about her. 

“She was growing maggots in the goat stomach. Huge, disgusting things.” She shudders. “She wanted to put one in my ear.” 

“She wanted to do what?” Jayden blurts out. 

I can’t say I disagree. “She wanted to put a maggot in your ear?” 

“Yes. She said it would protect me.” 

“From what?” 

Katie twists her hands in her lap. “She was scared. That was when I really understood how scared Grace was. I thought she was fearless, but she wasn’t. She just hid it better.”

I’m sorry, but I feel like I missed something here. How did we get from “she was scared of the house” to “I need a goat stomach” to “putting a maggot in your ear will protect you!”?

“What were you both afraid of?” My voice is so quiet, I’m low-key shocked that I said anything. 

Katie bites her lip and shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I thought about telling you ever since you booked me. But I just can’t do that to her. My truth is hers, too. And if I tell it, everyone will know, and she won’t have had a say in it. Grace Odlin was not a good friend to me, but I can’t help being one to her.”

The stupidest thing is that Grace probably wouldn’t hesitate if she thought that there was something in it for her. 

“We can learn the truth.” And I’m ready to make them tell it.

Chapter 24 summary: Brittany and Jayden schlep out to a campsite, where Katie is with her family for the summer. As they drag their gear to where Katie is, Brittany thinks about her shitty mom being shitty. Today’s new wave of “shitty ways to be shitty” is apologising for the abuse she intentionally put Brittany through in dating shitty men who beat Brittany when she was a child! Whee, so much fun! NOT!!

They sit Katie down, and she begins to tell them about how she’d gone to Peter for piano lessons. She hadn’t liked being in the house, but refuses to explain why. During breaks in her lessons, Dione would put out snacks, which Grace and Katie would eat outside. 

Then Katie explains that once, Grace came to them and said that she needed the stomach of a goat. Katie explains that Grace wasn’t unlike a charismatic cult leader, in that she could convince you to do literally anything. But Katie doesn’t think that she meant it in an evil way, but I’m not convinced. This includes helping to slaughter a goat on Helga’s parents' farm. The kids were caught on the new security cameras, because… WTF. Later, Grace was found to be growing maggots from the stomach. She tried to get Katie to put one into her ear. This is never explained, except to hint at that Grace wasn’t mentally well.

Katie also said that after Grace got pregnant, she insisted that the baby would be special because it was conceived in the manor. But she goes on to say that Daisy was insanely troubled, in ways that were difficult for Katie to reach by the time Daisy was in her class. 

Brittany asks about what really happened in the house, but Katie clams up. Says that it’s shared trauma between her and Grace. And despite how shitty that Grace was towards her, Katie is still a better person than that. 

Brittany then says that she has an interview with Dione, before they go to leave. They don’t actually, but their source claims that if they tell Katie that they have an interview with Dione, then Grace will get jealous. And then Dione will get angry and jealous. And then they can put both of them in the same room, and have the interview of the century. But most importantly, they’re eager to uncover the truth of what really happened. 

[lesbian-octoling]

Alright fellas, it's time to finally deliver what I promised: Salmonid adopts...2! They’ll all be $30 base, but I’m also offering a few different discounts!

Availability, rules, and other information below the cut!

What is an adoptable?

An adopt is a pre-designed character that I create, and you can ‘buy’ to be able be able to use and claim as your own character. Of course, since these are splatoon based I’m not selling the concepts of splatoon, just the idea and design of the character itself.

INFO + RULES:

Once you buy the adopts, they’re yours. You’re welcome to redesign, alter, give away and/or trade as you see fit. The only thing I don’t allow is reselling for a higher price (same or below is fine).

Though these are meant to be splatoon adopts, you’re welcome to use them for any setting that you please! They’re not inherently limited to splatoon; especially the more unique characters.

The placeholder names, personality, and info are just.. placeholder/concepts! You can name them whatever you want, give them any pronouns, personality, lore, whatever! I won’t feel bad lol

Once I receive payment, I’ll send you a full size, transparent, unwatermarked image of your adopt!

I can hold them for up to a week!

If one is on hold, you can still message and ask to be next in line if whatever they’re being held for doesn’t work out.

AVAILABILITY + PRICING:

Base price for each adopt is currently $30 USD, however, you can check out some discounts at the bottom!

“SAUCER” - AVAILABLE An old cohozuna who seems to be struggling to continue their job as their vision worsens... perhaps retirement doesn't sound as bad as it did when they were young.

“SILVER LINING” - ON HOLD (11/8) A young smallfry who's goldie colors are already coming in early. They're eager to become one of the most revered and important salmonids... but their colors already seem to be a bit off..?

“PUMPKIN” - SOLD A slammin' lid pilot who often gets too nervous to slam, not wanting to hurt their fellow salmonids, which might have cost a few runs to go badly...

“CHERRY” - ON HOLD (11/7) A slammin' lid pilot who is often too busy listening to their own music to notice if they have any hitchikers along for the ride- though they're happy to offer to their fellow salmon if asked!

“PIED” - ON HOLD (11/7) A piebald goldie who adorns themselves and always acts high and mighty to make up for their insecurity about their strange pattern, constantly scared that they don't deserve their position.

“SLOP” - SOLD A goldie who's attempted to permanently dye their scales, disguising themself as a cohock, not wanting the attention and popularity they never got to choose.

“COCKTAIL” - ON HOLD (11/7) A chinook who's highly decorated and respected for their flawless aviation skills, able to dodge shots while delivering their payload... though they refuse to move to any higher positions.

“MOTHERSHIP” - SOLD A sly, quick-tempered mothership pilot who's unquestionable authority and quick commandments of their troops make them one of the most successful wave leaders.

“SCRAPYARD” - SOLD A Scrapper driver who honestly prefers building the things over driving them, but... hey, its always nice to see your hard work pay off! Plus, they can picture what a few thrusters here or there might do...

“SPRING SHOWERS” - SOLD A drizzler who sometimes prefers to simply hide under their umbrella, daydreaming of something other than endless fighting...

DISCOUNTS + DEALS

Yeah, we know this is what you’re here for!  I’m going to offer several discounts and deals, which are subject to change, and may or may not pop in and out! This is my first time trying some of this.

COMMISSION BUNDLE If you buy a character from me, you can also get a get a commission of that character for 25% off to come with it! This only applies once, and has to be worked out around the time of purchasing the character. You choose the type of commission you’d like! Commission info is here.

PASSION DISCOUNT If you do a piece of fanwork for one of these characters- come up with extensive lore, a piece of art, a piece of writing, etc- and I can tell you actually put some effort and passion into it, then you can get them for 30% off... making them $20! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy and I’m not going to judge you by how ‘good’ your work is- again, it’s only judged by passion for the character. If I can tell you genuinely enjoyed it and had fun and will love the character you get (instead of having them simply sit on a dusty shelf or resold, etc), you get the discount! If you’re worried about the work taking a while but you want to wait until it’s done to buy them, no worries! I can hold a character for up to a week for you.

BONUS LORE If you wanna shell out an extra $5, I can fully flesh out the placeholder lore for you and come up with something much more fleshed out! Names, backstory, personality, all the bells and whistles. I can also work with you to fit it into any preexisting lore or characters you might want them to be worked with! Once again, you’re welcome to change any of this- but I’ll work with ya on it to make sure it’s something you like!

TRADES I’m a bit iffy on art trades or character trades, but I’m not going to say they’re out of the question. You’re welcome to ask!

[cripplecharacters]

What do you think about a blind character who uses her cane as a magical focus? it's in a fantasy setting where magic is very widespread and works in a variety of ways, mostly based on the channels that work well for the individual. I thought it might make sense for her to use her cane for that, because it would be an object with a lot of significance that she would have around all of the time, but are there problems with it that I'm not aware of?

Also, would it be okay to have spells to give her a sense of an area or tell her where people are? I imagine they would have a limited scope and she wouldn't be using them all the time, so I don't think they would fall under "superpowers that allow the character to see," but I want to be sure. They're space pirates, and I planned for this character to have a fighting role, but I can find another job for her if that's bad. Or she could do that without orienting magic?

Sorry for my several different questions. I don't even know how large of a role this character will play in my story, I just start designing characters and get carried away. thank you have a nice day

Hi! To answer your first question about using her cane as a magical focus, I don’t think there is much inherently wrong with that idea. Personally, I find it more interesting to separate disability and powers, and would more enjoy seeing a blind character whose focus was something completely unrelated to her disability, but I don’t think it’s particularly problematic on its own. The only thing that comes to mind is that it can run the risk of making everything revolve around this characters blindness, so I would personally encourage you to consider who she is outside of her blindness and what other kind of object she might choose. It helps when a disabled character isn’t just disabled as there only predominant feature and has other interests that are reflected in other parts of themselves. Make sure the object she chooses fits who she is as a person, not just what her disability is.

As for giving her spells that would allow her to form a mental image of an area, I would generally advise against that as it does cross into the territory of super powers that negate a disability, giving her a sort of magic vision. Powers that would replace a mobility aid are frequently a little too conveniently powerful and wind up allowing the disabled character to read more like an abled one, erasing big chunks of the disability. It’s often used as a way for abled writers to be able to just write the disabled character the same way they would write an abled character, which can lead to a lot of instances of it feeling like the character is only disabled when it’s interesting or plot relevant or convenient for the author. However, I do very deeply appreciate that you still planned to give this character a cane and not fully replace it with these powers. That is already a huge and awesome thing to see that doesn’t happen often enough.

I think it’s super important to consider exactly how a power like that would convey all the necessary information as well, in order to really understand what benefits might be possible, what the drawbacks might be, and where its limitations are. Often times, powers like this are used as sort of a shortcut to avoid finding out those answers, so I would suggest doing a little more research about what kind of information a blind person can receive already without powers and exactly how a power might provide information that is more useful. Often times, when people come up with super powers or even real life technology that is supposed to provide information to a blind person, it ends up being information that a blind person can already receive pretty easily with their own body and senses.

For example, if she needs to know where people are in a space, people generally make a lot of noise, even if they don’t realize it. Breathing, walking, the shifting around of fabric from their clothes — heck, even if the person is standing totally still, in close range, a blind person who’s already learned how to adapt can usually hear the fact that the air is not very open in that spot and it sounds like someone might be standing next to them trying not to breathe and be caught.

In particular about your character, close range fighting is something that is super easy to do without any augmentation. Plenty of blind people are on wrestling teams in school or blind sports teams with only minor modifications to equipment, and it’s really easy not only to hear where your opponent is moving based on the sound their actual body is making, but also based on the openness of the air and the feeling of air displacement as limbs move about quickly. They might miss a few things here and there, but by and large, physical close range combat is pretty easy to do without seeing.

This topic comes up a lot when people try to design real life technology to tell blind people if their friends are nearby or if there are objects in their paths, because most of the time, your own senses will give you a ton more detail and specificity. Simply hearing a person talking to you will tell you who it is, their exact angle, and a pretty solid estimated distance from you, but technology can often only give you a vague idea such as “left.” But then, in that situation, you are left wondering who is to the left? How far to the left? Are they 3 feet to my left butt 10 feet back? And even if it can tell you in that exact specificity, it often takes several sentences for technology to describe exactly where, and can only tell you about one person at a time, and it’s often faster and simpler to just call out your friends name and hear them respond. The same thing applies with powers, and it’s often a case of “don’t fix what’s not broken.”

Similarly, there are a lot of technologies designed that claim to be able to replace the white cane, such as vibrating tools that buzz when you are near an obstacle. But it cannot tell you what the obstacle is, what size it is, exactly how far away it is, what kind of angle it’s at, or any other super important pieces of information. On the other hand, if you simply touch the object directly with your cane, that alone already tells you exactly where it’s located and what angle it’s at, what material it is, how big it is, and what exactly the object might be, because not only can you feel it directly, but you can hear the way your cane interacts with the material which tells you a ton of information all at once with one single tap. This method is often far more effective and efficient then standing around waving this little buzzing gadget for a minute and a half trying to build the most vague outline of the object.

All this is to say that I think it’s important to consider exactly what kind of information these spells can supposedly provide and ask yourself if it would really be any more effective than regular non-visual techniques. Sometimes there are spells and powers that can totally be useful, such as transmutation spells that might be able to raise printed letters so your character can feel them, thereby acting as an accessibility aid. But more often than not, navigational powers like this often don’t really have any benefits that can’t already be gained in the traditional ways even better. Frequently, the answer turns out to be no, or at least not without straying into disability negating territory.

Other important questions to ask before giving your character a power like this include the following:

How time consuming or energy intensive is it?

In what situation is it not useful?

Does it come with any negative side effects?

How else could the character accomplish this task without the power? How do they do it if they are in a situation where they can’t use the power?

How long has the character had this power and known how do use it? How did they accomplish the task before that?

Would this character actually want powers like this? Does it fit who they are as a person and what their interests are?

I think my final — and possibly most important — point on the topic of spells that would allow her to navigate is to really consider whether or not this character as a person would be interested in those powers, especially if these are her only or primary spells and powers. Too often, disabled characters are given magic or super powers that are conveniently tightly tied to their disabilities, rather than powers that would suit the character, the way powers would be assigned to any other abled character. It’s often fueled by an underlying assumption that of course a disabled person would want to feel less disabled. Of course a blind person would want to see or get as close to it as possible. But in reality, that’s not always the case, and very frequently is not the case at all.

Would this character personally take interest in spells or powers like that? What are her other interests? What other kind of powers would she like to have? What kind of powers might suit her personality better? What method do you use to determine the spells and powers used by your abled characters? Whatever that method is, apply it in the same way to your disabled characters. Allow their character as a whole to dictate their powers, even if the powers you come up with using that method have nothing to do with their disability or are even outright contrary to it. That goes along way toward making a disabled character feel more well-rounded and human and complete, rather than just a living embodiment of disability.

The blind character with blindness accommodating powers is often not just common but the default. If there is a blind character with powers, it is almost always powers that a little too conveniently happened to revolve around hearing or feeling or augmenting other senses in order to negate chunks of the blindness. I have seen hundreds of these characters, but hardly ever have I seen a blind character who can fly or speak to animals or just blow things up with their mind. I would love to start seeing more blind characters who have magic or super powers that have nothing to do with blindness whatsoever but instead have everything to do with the character as a person.

I’m sorry this answer has gotten so incredibly long! I will undoubtedly end up using lots of this to make a more generalized post about giving magic or super powers to blind characters, but I hope it wasn’t overwhelming. Thank you so much for asking this question!

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