FROZEN BUT W OVERTHINKING
kristoff fr frozen 1 but he acts like the trolls that raised him instead of more human like w anna.
imagine the troll song. imagine him singing w them, convinced to get married in seconds, seeing no problem w the ceremony. anna protests. kristoff asks y. she says u cant marry someone u just met. he confused, "aint that what u doin w the prince?" she stutters.
she was raised as an only child n before that as the youngest. she cannot be the most responsible person here. she refuses to be the reasonable or responsible older sibling. shes the younger sister dammit n her older sister should be here to be responsible. in fact, elsa can deal w this. shes the older sister n she has to help solve annas problems cause she reserves her right as the youngest to have her problems solved by her older sibling n she will climb that dam mountain n make her sister do her older sibling duty n fix her love life.
cue elsa "theres an eternal winter??!!?" devolving into a panic attack, cut off by anna 'will punch a mofo, or in this case, slap a bee' moment. elsa boutta explode. anna "forget that! im engaged to a prince i met a couple days ago n a human troll-child a couple hours ago n i dont kno what to do! fix!! this!!!" elsa shocked right out of any panic or rage "...what?"
anna dramatically flops her body onto elsa n elsa panic summons an ice couch. theyre sprawled out; elsa confused n longsuffering regretting being born before the fellow fruit of their parents loins, anna sporadically switching between gushing n complaining bout her problems fr her dual engagements to how hard it was to pose midair for that one painting 'it took years of mastery elsa u wouldnt believe-'. kristoff has gotten the ice golem to make them ice dresses to twirl in. olaf is belting out his solo in front of his background dancers. sven is having an office/aoyama moment by looking directly into the camera. elsa already looks exhausted. the snow stops falling.
"oh n u froze my heart, but i just need true loves kiss, but again dual engagements!! what even right?? and ..." kristoff in the background "lets just all get married!" (the trolls were ready to get hitched to a strager in seconds, u cants tell me they dont have polyamory) olaf "ahem! soloing here!!" elsas quite but heartfelt "y"
annas hair goes back to normal n the snow starts melting outside the castle. she has resigned herself to older siblinghood. there is no love more reluctant or resilient. elsa would now kill for anna if she doesnt strangle anna herself. nows annas complaining about the table manners she had to learn.
"just let me eat the food, oh my gosh. who cares how big my cheeks are, if u just let me open my mouth i'll be able to shew it all! and-" "that's disgusting" *gasp* "how dare u" "what kind of gremlin whats to chew with their mouth open?" background kristoff "gremlins get a bad rep but theres not that bad if u get to kno em!" olaf gettin ignit "interrupt my solo again n i will kick u out of my castle" big golem softly "solo too long" *second lil sibling offended gasp* "excuse u, my solo is just the right length to portray..."
elsa wanted solitude. elsa looks like shes given up on her dream n life in general. golem looks like the most exhausted toddler-created-a-few-hours-ago ever. anna n olaf stiff goin off. sven is now glaring at the camera. its summer outside the castle.
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…. omg i just demolished my last cup of swiss miss marshmallow lovers cocka not even 10 minutes ago
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if you see a certain eel carrying yuu off its best to ignore her cries for help for your own safety
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