#its like the footage we see now. its horrifying and that's just what we see. this has been going on for decades upon decades

[martyrbat]

[Breaking The Silence website, where's theres text and video testimonies]

[ID: A video of a man sitting at a table and talking into a microphone. Subtitles on the video translates what he says. It follows:

“We grew up with the idea that next to the state of Israel, a state of Palestine would be established. That's a part of the democratic values I was raised with at home. But then at age 18, I was drafted to the IDF. I served for three years in the Nachal Brigade's elite unit, a sniper's unit. And I served in a military dictatorship, that today is 57 years old.

As a solider I would break into Palestinian homes in the middle of the night, as a part of a mission called [quote] ‘mapping’ [unquote]. Which means in a pretty reflexive manner we would be sent into a neighborhood, in Nablus for example. Pounding on the door in the middle of the night, waking up the entire family. I, as the team's photographer, would make the Palestinian family stand against the wall and take their photos, walk around the house and take some photos of other things as well.

During this time my officer would be sitting in front of the head of the household, writing on a piece of paper all the information about the family. Who works, where do they work. Who studies, where do they study. And at the end we would draw a map on the paper, hence ‘mapping’. And then we would go to the next house, and then the next house and so on. And in one night, the elite unit goes through an entire neighborhood.

When we arrived afterwards at the base, we would throw away that piece of paper. I would delete the photos from the memory card of my camera. Why? Because we weren't actually searching for someone. The order we got before going on these missions was [quote] ‘to create a feeling of being [quote] ‘chased’ [unquote] among the Palestinian population’ [unquote]. Because a Palestinian who feels ‘chased’, is a Palestinian that's easier to control. And that at the end of the day, was our mission in the occupied territories.” END ID]

Breaking the Silence is an organization of soldiers who share their stories about how Israel's military violence works. What I know from different testimonies is that they often check to make sure the families they're disturbing have no suspects and no investigations against them, because doing this when an investigation is ongoing can disrupt it. So they're intentionally doing this to people who did nothing wrong.

I find testimonies like this to be genuinely important, and still I can't stop thinking about the active members of Breaking the Silence who jumped right back into their uniforms to participate in the attacks on Gaza.

[eriexplosion]

Vibrating excitedly because it's time for Battle Scars and I am READY.

Obsessed with this opening honestly. Everything is happening at once. Everyone is yelling. Echo is just trying to get the hyperdrive back online. Omega has named the lizard. (Interesting that it IS Ruby and she picked the name... but when we see it with Roland, the name is in fact Ruby. So either she DIVINED THE NAME or Roland hadn't named her yet and somehow the Ruby name got passed to him and he's like. Yeah this is a Ruby. Great instincts kid I will surely never meet!)

Also crawling onto Wrecker's face, he is ALREADY HAVING A BAD TIME. IT'S GONNA GET WORSE.

Successful Cid job tally: 1 failed, 2 successes

Hunter's very doubtful UH-HUH... THE KID. is so cute.... I miss him, season 2 Hunter is SO FUCKING DEPRESSED. LIKE LITERALLY ABOUT TO LAY DOWN AND SLEEP FOR 200 YEARS DEPRESSED.

Cornered introduced them to Money and Bribes, Battle Scars introduces them to CREDIT CARD DEBT.

TWENTY CARTONS OF MANTELL MIX. JUST BEEN PUTTING IT ON CID'S TAB THE WHOLE TIME.

Bolo and Ketch trying to fight Rex is SO fucking funny. Boys you won't win that one. Go sit down.

I'M SORRY I AM NEVER OVER TECH PIPING UP WITH "THAT'S NOT HER UGLY SIDE?" DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF CID. ABSOLUTE LACK OF SHITS TO GIVE. LOOK AT HIS FIELD OF FUCKS AND NOTE THAT IT IS BARREN.

We do love Rex's poncho disguise. Nothing says stealth like having your EXTREMELY DISTINCTIVE ARMS ON DISPLAY.

"Being dead in the Empire's eyes has its advantages" sounds like another line that could come back with Tech.

CUTE SMILES <3

Rex immediately kneeling down to talk to Omega is adorable but when she gets way into his personal space he looks SO NERVOUS AND ANXIOUS. AND THEN SHE TELLS HIM HE HAS WRINKLES.

Tech very casually like OUR INHIBITOR CHIPS DON'T WORK EXCEPT IN CROSSHAIR like yes Wrecker is having migraines, etc, but it's probably fine. Genius that cannot conceive of his family continuing to dwindle so he just assumes Wrecker will be okay probably. He has to be right?

Still seeing Rex go for his blaster for them hurts me.

HUNTER STANDING IN FRONT OF TECH THOUGH WHEN THINGS GET TENSE. HE PROTECT.

I don't want to bury anymore of our brothers.

Listen I do still think it's funny that Rex unlike Cut has Zero Reaction to Crosshair being missing and apparently has not asked, but I do think that it would be interesting to get him talking about the chips with Crosshair. Rex has no reason to lie to make him feel better. You can't resist the chips and Crosshair isn't special in that regard.

Wrecker thinks he's nervous about the surgery now but soon he gets to see that the surgery suite is also a complete wreck!

Obsessed with this shot WHY does Tech looks like he belongs in blurry bigfoot footage?

Rex not mentioning Ahsoka makes so much sense actually he has no idea what might make their chips suddenly activate so best not to mention the help he got from a former Jedi

So Wrecker starts out getting attacked by a lizard, has a horrifying migraine, has to go across a terrifying pit on a cord which immediately breaks, smacks him into a wall, and dangles him upside down by one leg to fish for some sort of horrid creature. AND IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE FOR HIM FROM HERE.

Tech complaining about the cleanliness again like he didn't live in some sort of biohazard train wreck in a bed that looks like this

God the way Omega is already worried about being left all alone in Battle Scars. Baby, I want you to have your whole family back so bad more than I've wanted anything ever. Also Hunter's response here is "You're stuck with us for the long run" and I just feel like it would be exceptionally mean spirited to have that and then have Omega alone at the end like a lot of theories predict.

God the moment that Wrecker grabs Tech is still the most fucking chilling thing. And obviously the chip was already activating but I wonder if it's what Hunter was talking about, saying 'at least we helped the Padawan escape' that finally pushed it over the edge.

THE MUSIC CUTTING OUT WHEN WE ZOOM IN ON WRECKER'S PUPIL EXPANDING.

Someone pointed out ONE TIME that when Wrecker is pinning him to the wall Hunter tries to tap out by tapping his wrists twice and I can never again NOT notice that. Trying to get through to Wrecker but Wrecker's not in right now. It's just the fucking chip.

HE WAS JUST GOING TO MURDER THE FUCKING CHILD.

Chipped Wrecker is terrifying and honestly vital to see before we get to Reunion. The viewer NEEDS to understand just how unbeatable the chips are in order to understand Crosshair's character arc, we need to see it in someone that we know is completely trustworthy and good in order to see how much it Does Not Matter how good you are.

The thing with this show is that I've always felt like it REALLY understands where it's going with its narrative. Whatever else people might think about it, it does understand how to lay the groundwork to support the themes and family dynamics and it does feel completely sketched out.

Omega honey shaking him will not make Wrecker wake up faster please give him some breathing room.

EVERYONE FALLING ASLEEP AROUND WRECKER. MY HEART.

The way Tech pops straight up from being completely conked out in a chair KILLS ME.

They went so far as to shave like a quarter of Tech's head for the surgery but they didn't touch Hunter's at all. He allowed exactly one (1) square inch to be shaved off and he immediately hid it under his fucking bandana.

The animation is so detailed though, they left hair stubble behind even.

Here Wrecker eat Omega's pocket mix that she has been carrying for who knows how long.

Hunter saying he's still figuring out what's best for his squad. End of season two he still doesn't have it yet.

Rex mysteriously fucking vanishing into the fog is so funny, that is exactly how to exit the screen. Just fade into the fog like a mysterious unicorn.

And of course the Doom Ending to lead into Reunion.

[ornament-of-rhyme]

To anyone who hasn't seen the 9/11 documentary 102 Minutes That Changed America, I think you should take the time to watch it. In fact, it's the kind of thing I think should be mandatory for people to see at least once in school. (I have not seen the 15th anniversary edition, which to my understanding contains actual interviews as well, but without seeing it I won't speak on those aspects.) It is horrifying, and heartbreaking, and a million other words and emotions, but it is important. It's a part of history that we need to keep in perspective. Because we have access to real, minute by minute footage of both the impacts and the people on the ground, there is a lot to take away from witnessing it all, no matter where you are from, and difficult though it is to watch.

People who are my age or younger, (ie. too young to remember that day,) especially need to watch it, but I believe even many of those who were old enough to experience it live on TV could benefit from a reminder as well. There are those who have lost sight of what it should have taught them: that we are all of us valuable and worth trying to save; that we may be weak alone, but we are strong together; that we may not always understand one another but we can coexist, and it's worth it. That a lot of us don't know what we're doing or what's going on, but following what we know is right will get us through it. And on the other end of things, that knee-jerk reactions to that which we don't yet understand is wasted energy and can lead to even more atrocities. That most people, while not necessarily always our friends, do not need to be our enemies. They are just as scared and confused and insecure as we are. That at our core, we all desire to be safe and loved and seen.

It's important understand or remember what it was like to bear witness to it. To see the two opposing realities that are present in that footage: the depts of humanity's cruelty, and the depths of its compassion.

The world has changed a lot since 2001, in many ways because of 2001, but we as a species are fundamentally the same. And because of that, the despair and unity shown in that footage is timeless. We are capable now of the same depths we were then, good and bad, and it is our duty to remember that, to uphold the courage and care exhibited by the people who were on the ground that day, fighting for the lives of the victims.

There's a lot to take away from the footage, a lot to think on. The fact that shock and horror can sometimes look remarkably like humor--(so take body language experts with a crushed grain of salt.) The fact that there are those who were safe and alive, and who saw the towers fall, and still made the decision to gear up and go into the heart of the disaster for the sake of others-- strangers. People of all races, religions, genders, orientations, and beliefs. People who they may well have loathed if they met under different circumstances but who they risked everything to rescue anyway.

The fact that Americans have experienced such great tragedy, yet so many remain unmoved by the great tragedies others face elsewhere.

But don't take my lame-ass words for it. If you are in a stable enough headspace, do take the time to watch it, think about it. It's online, it's accessable. Heed the warnings and your own mental health, though.

[fearfully-fiction]

Ashmore Estates pt.3- Alex Schroeder x Reader

word count:3566

warnings: language, fluff, I think that's it

summary: based on season 4, episode 6 of DF. so all credit goes to the crew, the show, and the channel/network. The packet is read, and it's time to start the investigation.

(gif not mine!)

“Sequestered within the never-ending cornfields of eastern Illinois, can be found the decaying remains of Ashmore Estates,” Dakota started. “Opened in 1857 as the Coles county poor farm, it had 30 buildings spread across 260 acres,” He continued. “The day-to-day operation of the poor farm was unmonitored leading to unhygienic and unsafe living conditions. In the 1870s alone 12% of the residents passed away. One such inmate was Joe, a maintenance man for the almshouse. He had been walking back from town when he was hit by an oncoming train. Though a good samaritan carried him back home his injuries were too grave and he passed away,” Dakota explained and your heart sank. It always made you sad, when you heard stories like that, life truly was just unfair and unkind sometimes. “That’s so sad,” Chelsea said. “I was just thinking the same thing. I couldn’t even imagine,” you said and leaned your head against Alex’s shoulder. He squeezed your waist as Dakota read on. 

“But perhaps the most tragic death to occur was that of 5-year-old Elva Skinner in 1880 in a building previously on site. She had been left alone inside while the adults went out to work the farm,” He said and your heart dropped. You knew this was going to be terrible, and it was. 

She had passed away after her dress had caught on fire despite them doing everything they could to help her. Everyone at the table was horrified by the way she died. “What a terrible way to die,” Chelsea said and you couldn’t help but nod. There had been accounts of seeing her and hearing giggling. 

“Dude when we were here last time and we were all in our sleeping arrangements there was a girl giggling that was captured on camera,” Dakota brought up. It all came back to you, you remember watching the footage back and it scared the hell out of you. 

“That, like, puts validation to what happened to us,” Dakota said. “And now going back we have a name to go off of,” Alex spoke. “Elva Skinner,” you repeated the little girl's name out loud. 

The packet was handed to Chelsea and she began to read. “Those lucky enough to stay alive had to contend with truly atrocious conditions. Flies reportedly swarmed everywhere and there was noticeably rotten food prepared for dinner,” she explained and you shivered at the thought. “That’s disgusting,” you said and shook your head. 

“By 1916, the conditions were so appalling that the original buildings were torn down and a new one was built in their place, operating for the next 40 years. It then transitioned to a private psychiatric hospital. Allegedly the most violent patients received electroshock treatments. It closed its doors in 1986,” Chelsea stopped. 

“I forgot how layered this place is,” Dakota said. 

The packet was then handed over to Alex. “The most active areas include The first floor. This floor is active with every kind of paranormal activity imaginable,” he said before holding the packet in front of you. You accepted it from him and began to read. 

“The second-floor green room. A former poor house resident named Mary can be found in this room. People have heard her raspy breaths follow them through the building. She’s known for throwing and knocking over items,” You finished and passed it to Tanner. 

“The boiler room. Joe. the former maintenance man is found here. While he is normally friendly if he feels disrespected, he can become quite agitated,” Tanner read. He was known to not like females in the boiler room, they would get shoved, grabbed, and even have their hair pulled. 

You reached for Alex’s hand and he held yours tightly. He knew you didn’t fare well with that kind of information when it came to an overnight. It made you impossibly nervous, and he always made sure that you were ok before, during, and after. 

There was a man who had actually been thrown across the room after defending the girls he was investigating with. 

Alex held you tighter. He knew how much worry you held for your friends and so hearing that was something that made you very uneasy. You got protective easily, and so it was something you didn’t like to hear. 

Alex picked up the packet and began again. “The third floor. This entire floor is incredibly active, especially by the former electroshock therapy room. Though Elva, the five-year-old who passed away on site is known to play up here there is another unknown entity that grabs people appearing as a phantom mist before disappearing completely,” Alex described. That entity was known to cause scratches and hurt anyone who may be vulnerable when up on that floor. It’s like he can sense it and preys on the more sensitive and weak. 

“We did not know about that phantom mist on the third floor, reaching out and grabbing people,” Dakota said. “What I captured on film looked exactly like that description,” Tanner pointed out and it immediately took you back to that night, and what you had seen on camera. It was terrifying, especially back then when you were completely new to all of this. 

“So creepy, like I have the chills right now,” Dakota said and you nodded your head. “I do too, I remember that so well,” you added. 

“To be honest what you caught there was the reason I wanted to see this location so badly,” Alex admitted. “I have to see this for myself,” He added. 

“I think it’s going to be a jam-packed night. What do you say we load some gear and get going,” Alex suggested and you internally cringed at the thought of staying there again. 

“Let’s do it, dude,” Dakota said and Alex replied, “let’s start this night,” 

You all got up and walked back to the RV to get your gear. “I cannot believe we are back here,” You said to yourself as you looked at the building over your shoulder. “It’s been so long, I wonder if they will remember us?” Chelsea wondered aloud. “I bet they will,” you said and shook your head. You headed into the building for the first time in almost 7 years and it took your breath away. It was like taking a step into the past. You remembered your exact words when you first stepped into the building. 

“Guys I think we’re screwed,” you repeated yourself from 7 years ago. “That’s exactly what you said when we first stepped into this place,” Tanner recalled and you chuckled. “Well, it’s equally as true now as it was then,” you said. Everyone chuckled, and Alex walked over to wrap his arms around you. “Everything is going to be just fine, I promise you. I won’t let anything happen to you. I know you can do it, babe,” he said softly and kissed your head. 

“I hate solos, Al,” you spoke quietly. “I know, but just think when it’s over we won’t have to come back. I know you’re nervous, but I also know how strong you are. You have so much more experience than you did last time, I have full confidence that you can handle this. And if anything happens I’m right here, I’m gonna be right here,” he tried to put you at ease. “Ok,” you breathed out and wrapped your arms around him tightly. You pulled away the slightest bit so that you could lean up on your toes to place a kiss on his lips. Your hands clutched the fabric of his shirt tightly and his rested firmly on your hips. 

You pulled away and softly smiled at him. He smiled back before pressing a lingering kiss on your forehead for good measure. 

“You guys ready to start?” Dakota asked and you looked over at him before sighing. “I’m ready when you guys are,” you said and looked up at Alex as if asking him the same question. He just nodded his head. “I’m ready, let’s go,” he said and grabbed your hand in his. 

“So we just got done setting up the gear room, we are about to jump into solos,” Alex announced and you shifted your weight nervously. “Who’s ready?” He asked. “I am never ready for solos,” you told him. “I’m not ready either,” Dakota followed up. Everyone else agreed, and you chuckled. “See, this is not a good idea Alex,” you said and softly glared at him. “You guys will be fine,” he playfully brushed it off and you rolled your eyes. “This is the worst. And we have no flashlights,” Tanner reminded everyone. Your heart dropped. 

“Tanner!” Alex spoke up. “Yeah?” he asked. You could tell he was not excited at all, and you couldn’t help but feel the exact same way. “Since you won the contest today, and you are a superior athlete, and a strong man,” Alex continued. “Yup,” Tanner said as if telling him to continue. “You win the privilege…” Alex paused. “The privilege,” Tanner repeated. “Of going into Ashmore Estates, first,” Alex finished and your jaw dropped. “What?” he asked incredulously. You could hear Dakota snickering beside you and you slapped his arm. “Why?” Tanner questioned again. “You won the contest. You get to go in first,” Alex shrugged his shoulders like it was obvious. “That’s not a prize, that’s losing,” Tanner said. “Alex that’s just mean,” you said and glared at him. “Well first place goes first right?” he shrugged again and you shook your head. 

“It’s so mean, to let him go in first,” Dakota joked. “You wanna take his place?” Alex asked and looked at him, “No,” Dakota admitted and you chuckled. “This is a crappy prize,” Tanner said and you agreed. “Then pride is your prize,” Alex suggested and you once again rolled your eyes. “Pride is my prize?” He asked quizically. “You are a sore winner,” Alex told him. 

“This literally makes no sense. Did you put any thought into this?” Tanner questioned your boyfriend. “You know-you know what?” Alex slightly stammers. “Go for it,” Tanner encouraged him. “How about, oh, I don’t know maybe you’re wearing the enhanced recorder the entire time,” Alex spat out. “Oh no! I’m so scared. Not!” Tanner mockingly said. “Alright, this is good!” Alex said back. “Perfect,” Tanner retorted. “This is good,” Alex reiterated. “Cool,” Tanner said one last time. “Whatever, you know I’ll just go in there first,” Tanner said and you shook your head. “Stir it all up,” He told you and you sighed heavily. “I mean there you go, that’s super positive of you,” Alex said in mock positivity. 

“Alright, let’s get going,” Tanner breathed out heavily. Before he walked away you went over and wrapped him in a hug. “You got this Tanner,” you said and he smiled softly and kissed your head. “Thanks, (n/n),” he said before taking a deep breath and making his way into the building. “Remember, you’re a winner,” Chelsea called after him. “Biggest winner out there,” Alex reiterated. “Doesn’t feel like a winner,” Tanner spoke up. “You’ve got this!” you tried to encourage him. 

As soon as he was in the building you walked over and smacked your boyfriend's arm. “That was no prize Alex,” you said with a slight look of annoyance. “It was for us,” he shrugged and smiled down at you smugly. You rolled your eyes. “You’re gonna be the death of me Alex, I swear it,” you mumbled and he chuckled before tossing an arm around you and pulling you into his chest. “You love me,” he whispered before kissing your head. “You’re lucky I do,” you said and held his arm that was around you. 

“That I am,” he said and leaned forward to kiss your cheek. 

“Hey, what about us?” Dakota asked with his arms out in mock hurt. “Aww, I love you guys too,” you said and walked over to hug Dakota before kissing his cheek and doing the same with Chelsea. 

“They’re such babies,” she said and you laughed. “They really are, honestly. I don’t know how I put up with him sometimes,” you nudged her shoulder and she chuckled. You all sat at the table once again. You set your camera down so you could grab his free hand and hold it in your lap. Just to hold him in some way. It eased your nerves. 

“That was kinda mean, not gonna lie,” Dakota said and you nodded your head. “He’s right Al,” you said and looked at him. “Are you like mad at him?” Chelsea asked softly. “No. He just won. The prize was not a good one at all,” Alex explained it simply. “Obviously Alex,” you said and nudged his shoulder. “What’s the moral of this story? Don’t win? Don’t try?” Dakota asked curiously. “Just be cautious. Watch your back,” Alex told you. “Oh wow, that’s nice,” your sarcasm practically dripping from your words. “A prize can turn into a surprise, real fast,” Chelsea spoke up and you gave her a tight-lipped smile. “True, true,” Dakota agreed with her. 

“Do you think he’s ok up there?” you asked nervously. “He’s Tanner, I’m sure he’s ok why don’t you check on him if you’re worried?” Chelsea asked and smirked playfully as she handed you the walkie. You rolled your eyes and took it, “I’m not trying to scare him I’m just gonna check on him. But if it does scare him then that’s what happens,” you shrugged and softly smiled. They all chuckled. “You’re too good of a person,” Dakota shook his head and you laughed. “Sure, ok,” you said and stuck your tongue out at him playfully. 

You held down the button for a few seconds before speaking, knowing that it might not scare him since he would hear that. “Hey, Tanner,” you said. “Shit,” you heard him curse and you internally cringed. “Yeah, go for Tanner,” you heard him say and you could tell he was already a bit drained from being in there. “I’m sorry to scare you, I just wanted to check in and make sure that you were ok,” you spoke. “It’s ok, I just wasn’t expecting it. It’s freaky up here honestly,” he told you and you nodded despite him not being able to see you. “Are you ok?” you asked sweetly. “Yeah, I’m ok, just a bit freaked out. I’ll see you in a bit ok?” he asked and you just sighed. “Alright, We’re here if you need us at all,” you said genuinely hoping to ease his nerves. “Thanks (n/n),” that was the last you heard. 

“Are you ok?” Alex asked and pulled you closer to his side. You rested your head on his shoulder and nodded. “I’m ok, just uneasy,” you said and sighed. “I know this may sound weird, but why don't you go next?” Chelsea suggested with a small smile. You looked at her with wide eyes. “What? You want me to pee myself?” you asked in disbelief. Everyone chuckled, “No, I just thought it would be a good idea to get it over with and not have to wait and let anxiety build up even more,” She explained and you let your shoulders fall. 

“You’re probably right, it would just be easier for me to go and get it over with. Gosh, this really sucks Alex,” you said and nudged him. He kissed the top of your head and smiled down at you. 

“Can I talk to you before I go in Al?” you asked him and he looked down at you in concern. “Yeah, of course, babe,” he said and you began to get off of your seat. They all looked at you in worry. “Is everything ok,(y/n)?” Dakota asked and you just nodded. “Yeah, I just wanted to talk to him for a second. “We’ll be right back,” you said and grabbed Alex’s hand. You both set your cameras down before walking away a bit.

“Is everything ok?” Alex asked as he placed his arms around you. “I really am scared Al, what if they do recognize us and something bad happens?” you told him. “What if something grabs Chelsea if she’s in the basement or something and she gets hurt? What if one of you gets hurt? There are just so many what-ifs and I’m scared,” you relayed your fears to him. He looked down at you with a soft gaze. “Hey, hey, don’t think like that. I know you’re scared but nothing will happen. And even if something does, we have each other. All of us have each other's backs, that’s the way it’s always been and I’m sure that’s the way it will always be. So if you need to break down or fall apart, we’re right here. I’m right here,” he said and pulled you in close. 

You wrapped your arms around him and held onto him tightly not wanting to let go. “I just want us all to be ok,” you spoke softly and he leaned down to kiss your head. “We will be,” he said and pulled away from you slightly so he could look at you. 

You moved your arms up and around his neck to pull him down and place a kiss on his lips. He reached up to place a hand on your cheek and you leaned into his touch. He couldn’t help but always want you closer, he could never put his finger on it but something about you was just so endearing. Maybe it was everything?

Just like that, he made you forget where you were, and what you were about to do. He made you feel at home, and secure. That was always the case, he took the fear away even if only for a few seconds. It was just gone. 

Before you knew it you had to pull away, and for a few seconds, you felt like you could breathe. He smiled down at you and pushed a strand of hair away from your face. “Promise, you’ll be here when I get back?” you asked looking up at him with a worried gaze. “I promise you,” he reassured and kissed your forehead. “Ok, ok I’m fine,” you said trying to be sure of yourself. “You ready?” he asked and placed his arm around your shoulders. You nodded your head curtly and took a deep breath. “I’m ready,” you said and he guided you back towards your friends. 

“Hey, you ok?” Chelsea asked when you sat back down.” Yeah, I’m ok,” you smiled softly at her. Before Dakota got to speak Tanner came rushing out of the building. “Woah, Tanner are you ok?” You asked as he quickly made his way over to the table. “I just heard whistling,” he told you, you could hear the shock in his voice. “What? A whistle?” Dakota asked incredulously. “Like on the second floor, I started to hear this faint whistling. There’s no way if I didn’t have this device that I’d have heard it,” Tanner explained and your heart rate picked up. “That’s crazy, Tanner,” you expressed. Alex and Dakota let out a simultaneous ‘what?’. 

“Yes, it was the second floor,” he informed you. “That’s freaking terrifying,” Chelsea said. 

“Dude, I heard it multiple times,” He told you. “Whistling, for sure?” Dakota asked. “100%” Tanner assured him. “Like, it, enough to where it, it, froze me,” He described his experience. 

“That’s super weird because there’s supposed to be a woman, Mary, on that floor. She’s a poltergeist on that floor, she’ll move things around, and other claims are that there is raspy, like, whispering and breathing,” Alex explained some claims from that floor. “Did you go like, approach where it came from?” Dakota asked. “Fuck that,” Tanner stated and you chuckled. “I concur,” you agreed. “See, thank you,” Tanner said and gestured to you and you just nodded at him. “You didn’t go towards it?” Dakota asked again. “I am not exploring this place by myself the entire night. Someone else can take that second floor and do the follow-up,” Tanner said. “I’m proud of myself. I’m calling it quits,” he said and you just nodded. “I’m proud of you too Tanner,” you said and got up to give him a high-five. He instead wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you into a big side hug. “Alright, (y/n), It’s your turn. You’re next up,” Alex said and you sighed heavily. 

“This is great, I’m so excited,” you said sarcastically and threw your arms up in mock excitement. They all chuckled. “You’ve got this,” Tanner said and squeezed your shoulder. “Alright, alright fine. I’m going,” you sighed and you got handed the Ovilus. “Bye guys,” you waved and as you walked away you felt someone come up behind you. You turned around to see Alex and smiled. “What? Did I forget something?” you asked. He just leaned down and pressed his lips to yours for a few seconds before pulling away. “Just that,” he said and smiled back at you. You shook your head, “You’re too much sometimes Al, now go on, I have to get this over with,” you said and shooed him away. “If I die, I love you guys!” you called over your shoulder. “We love you too!” you heard them call back. 

“Alright guys, let’s do this,” you spoke and opened the door. 

Taglist:

@jaziona92

@beautybyfire

@thefandomthings

@kippykasey

@kristin813

@katelynanna

@nyx2021

[skygodtraumabond]

<Bzzt! This has definitely got to be Scout. Swellows that size are already rare, but Ray had a deep grudge against Fortree long before we met. The audio is kind of glitchy since he attacked the camera, but I'll salvage what I can from the airing!>

[The news segment opens with two anchors in a news room—one man, one woman.

"Good evening Hoenn, I'm Justin Harper."

"And I'm Taisha Clark."

An OTS appears on screen of a blurry shot of what appears to be a massive Swellow ripping apart the rope bridge connecting the Secret Base Club to the rest of the city. His wings are glowing with white light as he's focused on something off-screen.

"Tonight, Fortree continues to be vandalized by an abnormally large Swellow. This makes one week of this big bird launching attacks on the treetop city and its residents for unknown reasons. Gabby and Ty are live on the scene with more information as the situation unfolds. How's it looking out there, Gabby?"

The camera hard cuts to Gabby, who is taking shelter down by the Fortree City Gym as Winona is seen in the background attempting to fight off the powerful Swellow. Sounds of a pokemon battle can be heard off-screen. There's a short pause to ensure that she's on air before she begins speaking.

"Good evening, Taisha! As you can see, Gym Leader Winona is hard at work trying to incapacitate the Swellow, but just like the previous attack, it seems to be demonstrating outstanding battle prowess! Now, it seems more interested in ripping up the bridges than starting any real fights, but nothing she's been able to throw at it so far has seemed to slow it down, and there's a possibility that it's not alone-"

A Skarmory plummets to the ground in the background, Ty visibly jolting the camera in response to the steel type's sudden fall. It seems to have been hit with a strong fire attack, its metal body singed and warped from the blow. A Swellow twice its size descends from the sky above it before it can recover, slamming it to the ground with a bundle of wood and rope gripped tightly in his talons. Winona staggers back and recalls the injured bird, clearly horrified by the brutality of the assailant and the fact that he now seems directly focused on her. Gabby is momentarily stunned, but continues her reporter schtick.

"Whoa, Ty, did you catch that!?"

"Sure did! Whoever trained this thing has no mercy!"

"You've got that right! Whoever trained this bird must be a force to be reckoned with—and we know it's trained! Attempts from trainers in the area to slow it down by using pokeballs have been stopped by the telltale protective field of another pokeball. Rangers have been called in, but this Swellow is determined to do—well, we don't know. But it must be important for it to—"

Just then, as Winona is about to send out another pokemon, the Swellow directly attacks her by firing an air cutter at her feet, the impact blasting her to the ground and knocking the deactivated ball out of her hand. Then, he turns his attention to Gabby and Ty.

"Uh-Oh. That's not good. Fortunately, we carry pokemon just for situations like these! Go—!"

Before the two can send out their pokemon, the Swellow closes the gap in a flash and assaults the camera and mic. The footage momentarily freezes on a frame of the Swellow launching a devastating attack on the two trainers, then cuts out entirely.

The feed then cuts back to the news room, where the anchors look mildly concerned. After a few seconds of silence, Taisha clears her throat.

"We, um. We appear to be having some technical difficulties in the field. Hopefully the Rangers get there soon... Anyways, for our next story..."

The footage from this point forward is irrelevant, and has been cut for brevity.]

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - #114 September 2005

Welcome to another edition of Nick Mag Highlights! Today, we’ll be taking a look at Issue #114 from September, 2005!

Now, I understand you might be slightly surprised we went from Issue #1 to Issue #114, but I say take the whiplash in stride! Variety is the spice of life after all, and this cover exudes variety. We went from a roster of just one measly Nicktoon to a whole overload of shows spilling out from the top of the page!

But of course, front and center we have Drake & Josh, which was entering its third season at the time after facing massive success. Unsurprising too, since it really had everything going for it. Boys wanted to be Drake, girls wanted to be near Drake, and Josh was there to carry the show. How times change… now Drake Bell doesn’t even want to be Drake Bell.

But I digress, let’s dive into Issue #114! You can read it on the Internet Archive here.

Is a franchise really a “thing” if it doesn’t have a fast food toy line? Think about it. 

I remember that online game they’re advertising on the left, I’m pretty sure you never get to see your created ghost stand back-to-back with Danny Phantom himself, pretty disappointing if that was the prize you were after. 

Okay, after looking at some footage, it seems like you never get to see your created ghost even move! Explains why my memories of this game are pretty vapid.

There’s nothing else to incite fear into the heart of a child quite like the phrase “Back to School”. Except for maybe dentist’s appointments, needles, large bugs, and the Easter Bunny.

To tie into this most horrifying occasion, the overarching theme of this issue is stupidity. Let’s keep reading and find out if that was a dumb idea.

At this point Nick Magazine had dropped Ooze News, instead opting to advertise the biggest Nickelodeon headlines (Oooh, Tak 3!) near the beginning, with a special section later on for showcasing any upcoming episodes of their regulars. Stay tuned for that!

I’m not a Barbie expert. Are these based on outfits the doll wore at some point? ‘Cause otherwise these are just regular clothes that say “Barbie” on them.

First speech bubble from Zelda in the blog’s history!

Anyway, did you know Frankie Muniz (Malcolm in The Middle) is a NASCAR driver now? Crazy.

Lovely illustration work from Roger Langridge, who still posts comics on Twitter! Check him out after you’ve finished reading this post, liked it, reblogged, left a comment, followed, and bookmarked my blog.

I know what some of you may be wondering, just what exactly was the hot-ticket item kids were asking for Christmas in a pre-iPhone world? Well, I guess a Firefly might be a possible answer? I don’t recall ever seeing one of these back in the day, and apparently they don’t even make them anymore. 

What this ad conveniently doesn’t tell you is the amount of parental controls stuffed into one of these things, which makes them a fantastic safety tool, but maybe not that cool of a toy. 

Take note, this was back when having “animations” was a selling point.

Here we can the see the aftermath of Nickelodeon teaming up with Baby Bottle Pop for a bit of cross-promotion, which culminated with the crowning of the first (and probably only) “Baby Bottle Popstar”.

Indeed, kids across America were urged to send in their own rendition of the iconic “Baby Bottle Pop jingle” (which no doubt most of you are humming right now). Those performances were left to the mercy of the online populace, voted upon with the utmost scrutiny. Few died, but many were injured, and a young Alyssa of California was crowned Baby Bottle champion.

So it says in the history books, anyway. If you’d like to see the Baby Bottle ballad that shook the world, I recorded a video of the Nick.com link included in this ad, courtesy of the Internet Archive.

Sorry, got a little intense back there. Anyway this is a fun section! And anything reminding me about Jack Black and School of Rock is a positive in my book. Little odd lumping in The Dukes of Hazzard next to Finding Nemo and Spongebob, but I guess they might have wanted to throw a bone to the preteens in the audience.

Pretty cool full page spread advertisement for a Nicktoon, and for Catscratch no less!

Ah Catscratch, one of Nick’s oft-neglected 2000’s ‘toons, right next to The X’s and Making Fiends. Obviously I’m biased a bit, being a 2000’s kid, but it really sucks these shows fail to even get a passing reference nowadays. Oh well, if My Life as a Teenage Robot can escape Nick’s 2000’s dungeon, maybe there’s hope for the others.

A pretty funny comedy section here, depicting the daily newspaper of the fictional town of Moronia. I’d recommend checking out the full section if you’re not already reading along, it’s pretty funny!

Y’know I really wouldn’t have thought such generic phrases like “Feel Brand New” and “Make it Your Style” would be trademarkable. I would think at most you could get away with holding the rights to “The Lisa Frank Brand is for Every Happy, Cute Girl”. Although since they left that last one open, I bet the trademark is still available if anyone wants to snag it.

Additionally I’d like to give props to this company for being so bold as to have one of their mascot characters thank the Lord himself for their brand’s existence. You hardly see such tenacity nowadays.

Weird short fascination I had as a kid: I really liked the style of these ads that Pop-Tart was running at the time. I’m sure a lot of you remember the commercials in particular. I guess the black-and-white scribbly style just tickled my brain! Weirdest thing was they never actually inspired me to buy Pop-Tarts myself, it was only last year or so I had my first ‘Tart. Suppose that makes me a fake fan.

We’ve made it to The Comic Book, rejoice! 

Initially, I was particularly excited about this being the opportunity to introduce some of the regular comic series featured in this section, since I thought they’d have already started appearing by now, seeing as how we’ve jumped ahead much later into the magazine’s run.

But, uh, no, actually! This issue is completely lacking in strips from any of the notable ongoing comic series from the mag’s lifespan. Not even a Scene But Not Heard, which I guess disproves my memory of each issue having one!

Oh well, we’ll get to them when we get to them, the one-offs were usually just as entertaining. And we do at least have one recurring strip to talk about, Impy & Wormer!

Impy & Wormer was a regularly published strip for this section, created by James Kochalka. The strips were so small, you could find one of them at the bottom of each page of The Comic Book. It’s a pretty cute idea! I often found myself doodling Impy in the margins of my notebooks when the magazine was around. 

Say what you will regarding how Web 2.0 and the modern internet has affected society’s mental health and the overall cultural zeitgeist, but it did lead to this funny one-panel comic :)

Holy moly. Does anyone else remember Postopia? I swear for the last couple years I tried my damned hardest to find out what website it was that I played some weird Flintstones flash games on as a kid. I recently found out that it was indeed Postopia. Man, between this and Pop-Tarts it really seems like I would just buy into whatever weird viral marketing these fast food brands were pumping out as a kid.

I remember these being a fairly common activity in the mag: gag product labels. Cut ‘em out and tape them on to their intended packaging and you’ve got an instant barrel of laughs! Problem is they never seemed to be the right size for the products I tried them on. 

Come to think of it, my parents were really the only ones who got to see them finished, and they didn't really find them that amusing either. Was I really supposed to show my friends some dental floss I had taped a fake label onto?

“Nostalgia” is a term I honestly hate throwing around, what with how common it is, but this page in particular is really inciting some wistful childhood memories. Doesn’t seem like the worst deal in the world either, at least if you’re into membership cards, special edition issues, and stickers.

Sidenote, Step 4 isn’t really a surprise if you tell everyone it’s a Spongebob hat, guys!

Man, these guys hate teachers! I did not know a single kid in school who hated their teachers as much as the Nick Mag writers seemed to. A lot of my teachers were pretty nice, actually.

Yeah, in terms of replacing the Cartoon Calendar section (which we saw an example of in the previous NMH post), this leaves a lot to be desired. Still, I like when the magazine tried to give out fun factoids, it made me feel like my intelligence was being respected. Those puns are Zelda Van Gutters-tier writing though.

Now now, I’m not going to keep going on about Drake Bell. There’s only so many times you can shoot the elephant in the room before you start looking like the weird one. Drake & Josh was such a favorite of mine around the time this magazine came out, and it was really fun getting at least a little insight into what the behind-the-scenes view was like.

Small extra detail I find interesting is that almost every blurb below summarizing the new episodes for each show mentions romance and crushes (baring All That, but that’s a sketch show anyway*). Even the interview brings up that Josh had gotten a new girlfriend in Season 3. Guess Nick was really going all in on the love aspect to keep their preteen audience’s attention in the midst of puberty, which feels kind of manipulative in hindsight? Oh well.

*They were still making All That in 2005?

TurboNick, huh? I… think I remember this? Barely. Looking it up on Google gives me a faint sense of remembrance. Although I don’t remember Pick Boy. Sorry, Pick Boy. 

I guess the idea was you could check out clips from all your favorite Nick shows and eventually be graced with a full-on episode thanks to Pick Boy, and given his name I’m sure voting was involved to decide the full episode that was released. Not the worst idea! I certainly don’t remember Cartoon Network posting full episodes online. They probably didn’t even have their own Pick Boy.

I’m willing to give credit where credit is due. In the last NMH post I accused a lot of kids’ for being very fart-centric. I’m still sure in the Gnarly 90’s that was true, given all the stuff Ren & Stimpy were getting up to on prime-time television. But here in the Techno 2000’s we reference Spock and take Grandma to prom. A much more sophisticated fare.

Man, this must have been so cool for any Sly Cooper fans picking up this book. It’s a triple threat: questions, concept art, and a quick-look at Sly 3! I may not be a fan myself, but I can always appreciate some concept art and creative insight for a largely beloved character and series.

And rounding us off it's... Hey, it’s Bill Trinen! He was a sort of meme for a while, wasn't he? Back when they let him be in Nintendo Directs, anyway. Well, I say meme, but I guess he was more like an oyster stuck on the underside of a much larger meme named Reggie Fils-Aimé.

Yeah, definitely more like an oyster… What were we talking about? Oh yeah, NintenDogs! Never played it. Apparently they poop! Cool, I guess!

Well, well! That wraps up another addition of Nick Mag Highlights! I think getting the 2000's side of the timeline after the first issue was good for giving a bit more context on how the magazine looked and grew throughout its time on the market. I’m excited to see what’s next, and I hope you enjoyed it too. There’s tons more content and memories to read through. 

Also, one last thing. While looking up that one Danny Phantom flash game from the start of the issue I found that there’s apparently a new Danny Phantom graphic novel coming out this Summer? I’m surprised I haven’t heard anything about this! The art looks really pretty. If this seems like your thing, keep an eye on it!

That’s all for now! Until next time, keep reading!

[disco-cola]

ok i need to rant again. when i was actually ON THE TRIP almost exactly 4 years ago (again, it was an educational trip organized thru a berlin based socialist youth organization) I literally had NOOO IDEA about palestine, like yeah I have heard the name before sometimes but I thought it existed CENTURIES AGO like no fucking joke I will admit this. in Germany they don’t teach you about this in school or in the media, ESPECIALLY due to germanys history, world war two and the holocaust you carry a sort of blame that’s passed on from generation to generation - it’s only been like 80 years too it might sound long ago but it really isn’t. you think oh israel is the jewish state and it has to be right after all germany did to jewish people, no further questions asked. before i never ever educated myself bc when I got old enough to watch and understand news that did involve Palestine, like in 2k14 i remember Gaza was big on the news with violent images and I was horrified just believing everything i heard and saw i distinctly remember googling where is Gaza bc i saw footage on the news and being scared but downright relieved when i saw its not close to germany (dumb) and I just believed the reports on tv. i didnt really use the internet then as much, i had no social media except Facebook and this blog at that point. Man I was 17 and in high school i didnt care for anything outside my small bubble bc I didn’t have to, being a privileged western child. So fast forward to late 2k19 in the project i was still hanging out at at the time we got the offer for the „israel travel“ and a lot of people wanted to go and I literally just succumbed to peer pressure imma be so honest. Everyone wanted to go so I did too, i didn’t wanna stay home. i just thought ohh i have not flown since 2003 and 300 euros for a two week trip i can actually afford this too for fckn once and there were too many people interested and too little spots so there was a Tombola and my name got drawn so that was literally the reason I went. And i usually pride myself with very good memory and recollection but those two weeks are honestly a BLUR to me like idk if it was the stress and excitement of the traveling itself but i wish i sometimes had listened more carefully, had already known what I know now and been able to ask more questions and watch and listen more closely. we did stay with Arab guest families in tamra for a week of the trip, the other half in Tel Aviv (i got wasted with the hostel staff after having to be freed aka 2 doors kicked down in my room the first evening we were there bc the doorhandle in the bathroom broke i was in trauma and then was mutuals on ig with the hostels chef until 2k21 when israel bombed gaza and there were also rockets from Gaza to Tel Aviv in response and he turned out to be Zionist so I unfollowed then) and then for the last few days we were staying in two air bnbs in jerusalem. We celebrated new years in haifa with a Christian Arab family that invited us. we did visit a kibbutz on New Year’s Day bc someone from our groups grandma was living there since 48 (yep back then i just thought oh wow that’s amazing now I would view this a lot more critically) which also got us an exclusive guide around the kibbutz which was just on the border to lebanon and seeing the bunkers was eerie but I understand it now that I got into the history involving Lebanon too. we visited several museums like ghetto fighters and yad vashem. which dont get me wrong im glad we did, it’s an important part of history. it was a „both side“ experience and I literally didn’t even realize there was a Palestinian side to it then. Like genuinely it wasn’t really made clear how this all came to be Israel. They showed us a map pre-1948 vs. now but how did it get so big i didnt know. What zionists are. What settlements are. What the IDF is (by now let’s just call it IOF) I just remember the second day in Tel Aviv someone told us israel has only existed since 1948 and I was like lol what like baffled how new it actually is. Dude it’s the first time I heard about that.

It was only a few months after the trip that i one day randomly started to read up on the history, like literally starting out on kids websites bc growing up i only ever just heard „it’s complicated“ making it seem like the „middle east conflict“ as they liked to call it was sooo hard to understand and you had to be sooo smart and diplomatic to have an opinion on it. and after reading up suddenly stuff I saw but didn’t question on the trip started to make sense. The huge checkpoint we went through going into jerusalem, our car full of Germans basically being waved right through without any control while i saw other cars being emptied out completely by heavily armed soldiers. We took a teen girl from Tamra to Jerusalem with us bc she liked to come along and then there were problems suddenly with BOTH our air bnb apartments and we asked the staff if we could accommodate our suitcases somewhere and just go explore the old city instead of waiting around blocking the entire lobby. first they said no you have an Arab with you (I didn’t even understand what they meant by that) then came around and let us do it after all at least. Dude she was literally a 15 yr old like 5‘3“ teenage girl. Why one of the guys from our group was detained and questioned at the airport for like 3 hours because he was born in Syria (had a German pass tho but anyway). And when we wanted to travel back the group guide prepped us for questioning and made sure we all had straight answers which I also didn’t understand the reason for - I wasn’t one of the people being asked questions but someone did truthfully tell Airport staff what we did during our stay and that we spent a week with Arab guest families and after that several suitcases SEEM to have been rummaged through (and I know bc I packed mine soooo neatly bc I bought baklava on the market the day before to bring my family and it was smashed like flattened) we did get into a storm when changing flights in Istanbul so idk maybe the suitcases really were just thrown around but for real it wouldn’t surprise me if they did control us after that.

Anyway I posted stories throughout the trip to my ig back then and just went with the first location tag that was suggested to me and looking back now, it’s all „…, israel“ when i was actually on occupied land (tel aviv jaffa haifa akka…) and I HATE IT ☺️ I can’t change it back now obviously. I don’t wanna delete the stories from my highlight tho, even tho it does make me feel kinda guilty, bc i see it as part of my journey. Quite literally. I honestly wish I could teleport back now being more educated about the situation and ask more questions, talk to more Palestinian people (like the guest families). Would I do such a trip again? Not as long as the destination on the ticket is called only israel. I genuinely hope I can visit Palestine again tho someday. But this time for real real.

[watching-pictures-move]

Viddying the Nasties | Eaten Alive! (Lenzi, 1980)

This review contains mild spoilers.

I watched this years ago at around the same time as I first saw Cannibal Ferox and remember hating both. As I’ve been watching a bunch of cannibal movies recently and also apparently hate myself, I decided to give this another shot, having revisited the other movie not too long ago. To paraphrase the slogan of a popular potato chip, when it comes to Umberto Lenzi cannibal movies, you can’t watch just one. With rewatches, my opinion of the other movie hasn’t improved by much, but with this, maybe it has. Through some combination of desensitization and greater exposure to lower budget cinema where technical prowess is beside the point, I didn’t actively hate the experience this time around.

Like the other movie, which will serve as a useful point of comparison, it contains all the things we expect from cannibal movies, namely horrific violence and animal cruelty and insulting portrayals of other cultures. Unlike that other movie, a lot of this is repurposed footage from Jungle Holocaust, Slave of the Cannibal God and Lenzi’s own The Man From Deep River. And I think it goes to prove what I’ve been saying about the animal cruelty in these movies, that if you could replace it with stock footage instead of staging it specifically for the movie and it would still work in the same way. The first time I watched the movie, I didn’t realize this was recycled footage, and only caught it this time around as I’d seen Slave of the Cannibal God less than a week earlier. Now, I think the ultimate test would be if you replace the animal cruelty with something less noxious, like, I dunno, a guy in a gorilla suit. Maybe the gorilla suit scenes from Carlos Tobalina’s Jungle Blue, which were shot in the jungle and probably would blend in well enough, and also horrify for completely different reasons.

This movie’s big hook is that it’s a cannibal movie with a Jonestown-like cult, although if anything it plays like a Jonestown-like cult movie with cannibals added in. But really neither element is fleshed out that intelligently. The cult is led by Ivan Rassimov, who does a lot of ranting and raving that leads me to believe that the cult fell under his spell before the movie started, and all the other characters who fall under his influence during the proceedings do so offscreen. Halfway into the movie he’s demanding that everybody drink the Kool-Aid, which seems a bit premature. He also has an interesting way of settling disputes in his cult. One of his enforcers accuses the hero played by Robert Kerman of hiding a bottle of whisky. Kerman calls the guy a liar and punches him out. Rassimov considers the case closed. I guess might makes right in this cult. One will also note that the clothing worn by the cult is far from gender neutral, with the men wearing togas and the women wearing a lot less, but as this means that Me Me Lai spends all her scenes in a loincloth or less and Janet Agren can be seen nude in gold bodypaint, I found it in my heart to overlook this one flaw. One will also note that the commune seems a bit too small to house all the members of the cult, unless they’re using bunk beds. The movie halfassedly introduces the possibility of cannibalism early on, showing us documentary footage in a gesture that likely evokes the lineage of this genre with mondo movies, and later awkwardly rushes out the cannibals to wrap things up. It’s as if it wanted to be its own thing but couldn’t help succumb to genre demands.

Anyway, the cast is the best thing about this movie. Rassimov, while not particularly effective in this movie, I still like seeing because I’ve seen him in enough of these Italian horror movies and after a certain point it’s like hanging out with a friend. Lai and Agren bring obvious aforementioned charms. And Kerman is a lot of fun, doing a low rent adventurer shtick, having some nice chemistry with Agren (“Curiosity killed the cat, lady”) and bringing a nice physicality as he throws himself into the stunts. (It looks like that’s really him dangling from the helicopter towards the end.) He’s joined by fellow porn character actor Jake Teague, who describes a recent spate of crimes as “very, very spooky”. We also get Mel Ferrer show up to pick up a paycheque ("Americans will believe anything that's tax-deductible”), although neither him nor Teague get anywhere near the jungle. We do get a scene at the end where Kerman, Ferrer and Teague share the screen and spar verbally, which might be the only time in cinema history that the guy who did Debbie in Debbie Does Dallas, Audrey Hepburn’s ex-husband and the dipshit psychiatrist from A Woman’s Torment shared the screen. A real clash of the titans.

Despite the animal cruelty (and I admit I still frequently look away from the screen during these movies), this one holds together better than its obviously cobbled together nature might suggest. There are enough narrative happenings to hold one’s interest, Kerman especially gives a fun performance, and the jungle has great presence. It certainly feels more like a “real movie” than Cannibal Ferox, even if the latter’s flimsiness adds to its pungency and effectiveness as pure exploitation, pieces of film barely stitched together to present the ugliest imagery one can conjure. That being said, there is one particular noxious sequence here, where a woman is at first captured and raped by cult members, and then killed and eaten by cannibals, and the way her body is laid out like a pinup during the latter occurrence left me a little queasy. This character has been totally objectified, completely reduced to a piece of meat.

[romilly-jay]

Not Fake News Actually (Capricorn One and Fly Me to the Moon)

I'd never heard of Capricorn One - not even through its inadvertently unwholesome link to OJ Simpson //who plays one of the three NASA astronauts caught up in the imagined Mars Landing Conspiracy// nor through the presence of James Brolin //who, in a true generations-passing-under-the-eye-of-God moment, I recognised by his clear resemblance to his son, Josh// [My grandmother, who watched lots of Hollywood movies, would no doubt have been horrified by this, my mother, who despises Hollywood movies - two bio facts that I'll bet are related - is more likely to be horrified that I know who the son is.]

But we watched it earlier in the summer, around the time of its anniversary - see Last Exit To Nowhere post - and having discounted for how pervasive the 70s look and feel is, really enjoyed it.

Not sure what it says about me that I enjoyed it most once the astronauts were in true run-for-your-lives jeopardy. (And, back to the younger JB, I'm sure it's in no way coincidental that I felt The Same Way about similarly space-ish and desert-y Dune... much more fun once we were out of the "cultural exchange" moments with the Fremen and into the War And Vengeance Against The Harkonnen.)

In news that surprises no-one who has logged onto the internet this century, footage from the movie has been commandeered to support dodgy Moon Landings Were Faked video "reportage". And you can see why - even with the 70s aesthetic (erm, or, more likely, because of it?) that looks compellingly like a decent fake Mars landing filmset.

Also amused me to come across the following review of Fly Me To The Moon (storyline - what if super-seller Scarlet Johannson were blackmailed into helping to create fake Moon Landing footage, you know, just to be on the safe side in case something Went Wrong...)

Basically MK spends maybe half of the review time making the point that he truly, madly deeply believes that the Moon Landings happened and that his relative enjoyment of the movie (nice period aesthetic and delivering fluffy romcom fun) is not a disguised signal that he in any way believes otherwise. Capricorn One gets a mention.

Also: I now want to watch this movie.

[blookmallow]

recently become obsessed with this horror channel about these two dumbass paranormal investigators... the acting is terrible. most of the episodes end with them being like "brooo what the fuck bro" and just Leaving and not actually saving anyone or figuring anything out. i cant tell if its satire or if its supposed to be funny or what they're doing but i fucking love them so much. i cant stop watching them. its called life of luxury, no idea why, but anyway heres some of that

the label arrows on the thumbnails are killing me

chester wearing a cowboy hat in the car randomly for one scene and then taking it off when they get to the spooky place

you cant see very well in a still screenshot but this was very clearly and obviously a person coming into the living room through the window and chester's like "idk it's probably just the curtain or something" meanwhile parker immediately jumps to "WHAT IS THAT THING??" it's a guy. it's a guy breaking into the house that's what it is. some of their later monsters do have a pretty good "what the FUCK is that" factor but this one is blatantly just. a naked dude crawling around. which im not saying isn't a horrifying thing to be in your house in the middle of the night but it's not, like, an incomprehensible supernatural occurrence

(shot of a man crawling up the stairs) "WHAT IS THAT??? IS IT A DOG???" are you Stupid. they also watch this man crawling through her house (knowing she's in there sleeping alone) for like. several minutes before they do Anything

this is from a different stalker in the house episode where the camera timestamp said they saw this guy come out of the closet at a little before 1 AM. they sit there and watch him walk through the house and sit down in a chair. and they're like ok lets see where he's going with this. and then there's a transition and another camera time stamp showing it's now 1:40 am. they have been sitting here watching a strange man sitting in this girl's house where she's sleeping alone for like an hour and have done Nothing about it. like, call the police maybe????? do something????

chester is the camera guy and they never show or mention anyone else working with them but half the camera angles are. showing chester. with his camera. this is before they set up any cameras for the supernatural stakeout so there is clearly another person with a camera here

like this boy is constantly filming himself whenever they're in the car and we never actually see any of the footage from chester's camera. what is he doing. also despite the fact that insane shit happens every single time they go on one of these investigations, still, inevitably, chester, every time "idk it's probably nothing. we probably won't even find anything dude. shes probably lying bro"

its almost Always specifically an 18 year old girl, too

itS THE gUY!!!

this girl who's supposed to be terrified but she looks like she's Smiling? also every bedroom looks like this. nobody has anything in their room except a bed and like, maybe a single chair. who lives like this

this one they get a message about a girl's brother who went on a trip and came back Wrong and they go to investigate to find out whats wrong with him, what happened to him, right

they go. the brother won't come out of his room. they do their camera stakeout. they see him crawling around the house and talking to himself. he bangs on his sister's door and then runs away. they get her out of the house. episode ends. like they literally solved NOTHING

then there's also like

like. bro are you dating or

the amount of times "oh no..... there's only.... ONE BED..... 😳" happens cannot be accidental

[coliearellano]

Becoming Filipino: From My Learnings to Production

In my last blog post on my role in Dekada Production's Becoming Filipino, I discussed and mapped my basic contribution to the team as the script writer and the co-creator of its storyboard. While I mentioned what exactly it is that I did to generate such eerie scripts for the PSA, I haven't exactly delved deeper on how my writings came to be.

Let me explain!

For the past few weeks of my Digital Storytelling class, I learned so much. From umwelt to semiotic stratification and the principles of the reality machine; you name it. My mind had been opened to concepts (and deep words) I've never heard of before that - in reflection of how I did storytelling back then - just made sense. Storytelling just made sense.

SEMIOTIC STRATIFICATION

Before actually delving into the production stage of Becoming Filipino, various steps or stratification was undergone to create this story. This includes Discourse, Design, Production and Distribution. While I already discussed this in a previous post (See Story Design Proposal: Becoming Filipino), I would like to reiterate and insist on the stratification's importance in meaning-making. The careful consideration of each phase underscores my group Dekada Production's commitment to creating a digital story that goes beyond mere entertainment, aiming to raise awareness, challenge perceptions, and inspire reflection on the pressing societal issues we've addressed in our narrative.

But how did I actually write the script and storyboard?

UMWELT

Through Becoming Filipino, I was able to tell a different kind of story in an umwelt never seen before by the Filipino youth (and even, I admit, by me) just entering the overglorified life in the Philippines. While writing the script, I had to immerse myself both in the narrator and user's umwelt with both having completely differing perspectives. There, the (unreliable) narrator, an assumed AI of a government website, or PCS, that guides the users go through the glitch, and the users or the actual audience, who are in the hopes of finally acquiring their first "official Filipino pass" or their government-issued ID.

The Narrator

As the narrator, I had to be robotic and unalive, but at the same time, deceiving through my patriotic façade. To be completely honest, I had taken the infamous ChatGPT as my inspiration, at least in the way the AI talks and convey messages so formally and linear that not an ounce of humanity peeks through. The narrator was simply lifeless...or that's what it wants you think. When its true form appears in PSA 3, I had perceived the narrator as invasive and intruding. As if a completely different AI or being had taken over and is now questioning YOUR own very being.

The User

As the user, I had to invest and dig deep through "what" makes "what" scary. I had to consider our proposed design without (of course) losing integrity of Dekada's intended discourse of showing the horrors of the life of or of becoming Filipino.

With this, in PSA 1, I had utilized facts or actual statistics from official government websites and from Philippine educational textbooks to portray its horrors without the need to disfigure the truth or to make it scary when it already is. Simple facts. Reality. The truth! The truth already scary as it stands.

To further expound on this, PSA 2 outright releases real footages of the harsh reality of being a Filipino. These horrifying scenes are revolting and leaves a bad taste on the mouth. This shows that if there's nothing to be scared of, why is reality itself horrifying?

In PSA 3, we utilized the real process of receiving ones government ID - the biometric identification collection. In this, I incorporated one of our readings in class, specifically the Universal Principles of Design by Lidwell, Holden and Butler, and utilized this to the now purposely create what's scary, scarier to stimulate the feeling of mind break. While we usually use the universal principles of design for the aesthetics, I've idealized its meaning-making to make me the user uneasy or unsettled through the opposite or "wrong" use of its principles. An example is in usual horror stories, where what makes a monster horrifying is not by their simple jump scares but by their uncanniness or their unusual aspects in comparison what we're used to. This creates and leaves a successful horror to the user.

These umwelts are the basic factors to be considered in conceptualizing and producing Becoming Filipino. However, aside from the semiotic stratification and umwelts, there are elements of storytelling that further enhanced this story of horror. Without this, the story would be a bland motionless and flat story and object that leaves no room for self criticisms and reflection as an audience member to the real world. This is...

PRINCIPLES OF REALITY MACHINE

There are three principles in what makes a story "real", this includes: Somatic Simulation, Paracosm, and Pharmakon.

Somatic Simulation - This principle is embodied in the immersive experience the protagonist undergoes while navigating the fictional Philippine Credential System (PCS) Website. The digital journey through the registration process, encountering unexpected prompts, and interacting with the automated messages creates a sensory and physical engagement. It simulates the experience of applying for a government-issued ID, making the audience feel as if they are going through the process themselves.

Paracosm - This is evident in the creation of a parallel world within the story. The fictional Philippine Credential System (PCS) Website, designed as a government agency portal, is a paracosm that exists within the larger narrative. It functions as an alternate reality where the protagonist and viewers explore and engage with a simulated version of the bureaucratic system. The paracosm concept is central to the story's structure and serves as a vehicle for conveying complex societal issues.

Pharmakon - The pharmakon principle is manifested in the use of analog horror and unsettling storytelling elements. The glitch in the registration process, the unexpected redirection to PSA videos, and the eerie atmosphere of the videos themselves serve as the pharmakon, a mixture of poison and antidote. While the process is disorienting and unsettling, it also acts as a means to raise awareness and provoke critical thinking about the issues portrayed in the PSAs. The unsettling nature of the story serves as both the poison and the antidote, challenging viewers to confront uncomfortable truths and question their own identity and society's norms.

With all these learning applied to not only in my role in production but as well in the meaning-making through discourse and design, I believe I created a successful storytelling with the use of the concepts of semiotic stratification, umwelt and principles of reality machine in my formation of Becoming Filipino's script and storyboard.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Joe raced up to the alien hero. “Are you okay?” Joe asked with concern. Alan grimaced but nodded. “I have had worse. I can still float. This being is stronger than last time.” Alan noted. Joe looked at him with wide eyes. “You fought this thing before?” Alan nodded. “Yes it was what was causing trouble to Miss Fuller earlier when she was interrogating Atomic Steele. Tristan and I were able to stop it before with Patricia’s aid.” Alan responded. Suddenly the creature began shaking. Alan and Joe realized with horrified expressions that the creature was shaking free of its icy restraints. “Get Back!” A familiar voice yelled. Alan and Joe turned their heads and saw Victor calling out to them. The two raced back to him, Margaret, and Patricia. They still kept their heads on the blob creature. To their shock, while the creature was shaking the ice off, it wasn’t growing, but shrinking. As the blob mass began to shake off the final ice attached to it, it finally shrank to a humanoid form, a very familiar humanoid form. “Athena!” Joe exclaimed in a shocked tone. He didn’t expect that his ex-girlfriend was the blob creature, nor did he expect her to be able to turn into a blob creature. Joe looked to Margaret, Patricia, and Victor to see their expression. Patricia was shocked like he was, but Margaret and Victor still maintained their serious and grim expressions. A realization came to Joe’s mind. “You knew Athena was the blob monster.” Joe exclaimed. His tone sounded a bit accusatory. Victor looked at Joe with a frown. “I didn’t know right away. I just found out when I discovered Athena had broken free. There was no time to explain things.” Victor replied. “I just found out when some agents went over the security camera footage from the first attack. One camera caught Electric Blur injecting something into Athena and pushing her through the skylight. The other cameras caught her transforming.” Margaret answered. Matthew frowned with worry and concern. Like everyone else, he heard the screaming and felt the rumbling coming from outside. Some doctors and nurses rushed outside his room to check and see what was going on or to see if anyone needed medical aid. Matthew wanted to head outside his room to check on Carl and make sure he was okay. He also wanted to check and see if Gene was safe and secured even though he was still in surgery. Just as Matthew was contemplating on checking himself out early another screech was heard, this time from inside the medical clinic. Matthew recognized this sound and was alarmed to see his granddaughter rush into his room in a panic. She leaped into his arms and began chattering and crying very incoherently. “Whoa Becky! It’s okay I got you. Tell me what’s wrong.” Matthew spoke trying to reassure her. Becky looked like she was trying to compose herself but she was still shaking violently. She soon let out some words that made Matthew ignore his injuries and rush to fight. “Dads..in trouble. Dads hurt. Scary man back!” Luckily for Tristan and Alex everything was still secured inside their husband’s room. Tubing and Hugh were still working on Two Brains. Becky saw her dad in there and tried reaching out towards him. Tristan just patted her head. “No sweetie, we can’t be in there right now. He will be alright though.” Tristan reassured his daughter. Becky seemed to be somewhat satisfied by her dad’s remarks, but just as she was about to lean her head back onto his shoulder, her body became stiff. Becky jerked her head up and turned it to another direction in the medical clinic. One that was far away from where the noise was happening. Tristan and Alex noticed her reaction and tried to ask her what was wrong before a voice interrupted them. “Now you should know it’s not very good parenting to lie to your child.” A voice chastised. Tristan and Alex turned their heads to see who was coming towards them. Their expressions were a mix of fury, caution, and shock. “Calvin! Moran! What are you two doing here?” Alex exclaimed! @dualnaturedscientist

Questions plagued Carl's mind. Was Matthew going to be okay? Were they going to stop Atomic in time? What if they didn't? Was Atomic connected to the B.E.A.W Labs? "It'll be okay." Carl was brought out of his anxiety filled thoughts. Constance was looking at him with a sympathetic look. "It'll be alright Woody. Look. He's like a cockroach." Carl narrowed his eyes at her. She placed her hands up. "I'm not trying to insult him. This time. I'm just saying that he's like a cockroach because he's so damn hard to get rid of." She didn't like seeing him like this. Especially knowing exactly what he's been through. "He's so extremely difficult to get rid of. He's resilient. Though he did allow himself to be taken away. I don't think he'd be easy to get rid of. Besides. You shouldn't be underestimating that woman and your kids. They'll get to him in time. Have trust in them Woody." Carl sighed. "I suppose you're right but it's hard not to worry. He almost died once before. His life is at risk once again. I can't help it." Tears began to well up. Constance frowned at that. "Hey. It'll be alright. I promise. Besides, I don't think the kid would have it in him if they don't arrive in time." Carl was silent for a moment. "I can't help help. I'm scared Constance. Losing him. The thought tore my heart out. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help it. I-" He was interrupted by her. "Hey now. It's okay. You don't need a reason to justify how you feel. You just feel the way you feel. That's all to it. " Carl was surprised at her words. Constance rolled her eyes. "You don't need to look so surprised. I can be wise and knowledgeable too." That earned a genuine laugh out of him. That was better. She didn't want to leave him in his anxiety ridden thoughts. Seeing him like that hurt. "If he does get roughed up. You can be his nurse. I'd be he'd love that. You tending to his wounds." Carl went tomato red. Sputtering her name. "Constance! You're terrible!" She cackled at his reaction. The ride to Dr.Two-Brains wad quiet. Until Maddrix spoke up, he didn't care that it was tense. He needed to speak his mind before they continued. "Atomic. I don't think he is behind anything with the B.E.A.W. Labs." Dr.Two-Brains looked at him. Raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean Matthew?" Margret wanted to make a wisecrack but remained silent. Looking at him as well. "He only went after me. If he was truly with them, he would've took Becky and I back. He would've killed you and the others. But he just wanted to go after me." Margret blinked. "Go on." Matthew was surprised they were willing to hear him out but he continued. "He didn't want to hurt anyone but me. Those who stood in the way. He may have forcefully put them out of the way but his intent with them wasn't malicious. It was personal he went after me. I don't think he knows much about the ray he had." Margret was about to put in her opinion and thoughts about it but they had already arrived at Dr.Two-Brains house. Alex landed next to them. Matthew attempted to walk into the house but he didn't make it far so Alex had to carry him in. Becky was happy to see him. Chirping happily. "Hey Becky. I'm sorry about scaring you earlier." He apologized but she had pong forgiven the man. Only caring if he was okay. Carl got up immediately and ran over to Matthew. Looking up at him with tear filled eyes. Without much thought, Carl placed his hands to Matthew's face and pulled him down into a deep kiss. Allowing it to linger for a moment before pulling away. Leaving Matthew breathless and flushed red. "Oh thank goodness! I was so scared! Don't you ever scare me like that again! I thought you were...I thought you were..."

Noticing how distressed Carl was acting, Matthew snapped into focus and cupped Carl's face. He gently brushed away the man's tears. "I know love. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." Matthew spoke in a gentle tone, interrupting Carl's ramblings. Carl just sighed and stared back at Matthew with intense eyes. "I know you believe you deserve death and suffering after what happened all those years ago," Carl began to speak as tears filled his eyes. "But please! Please don't ever sacrificed your life like that ever again! Don't let yourself be taken or defeated so easily like that ever again! Seeing you dragged away without a fight..it was terrifying and painful to see you give up so easily like that. You may not believe it anymore, but you aren't capable of never being loved again. The thought of losing you again brought me more pain and suffering than what you did nearly 20 years ago. You are not a monster Matthew! Monsters don't feel regret, they don't apologize or feel remorse for their actions. You did that." Matthew stared silently at Carl. Neither man said nothing as they gently placed their foreheads against each other. Tears streaming from both of their eyes now. "I'm...sorry. I'm so sorry. Carl I..." Matthew tried to speak through his tears. "I know. I know." Carl only replied. Matthew didn't have to say anything. He knew what he was thinking. The others remained silent as they watched. None of them really saying anything and giving these two a moment, but also none of them having any negative reactions towards Matthew. Alex looked towards Victor and Two Brains. Both of them were having solemn but also bittersweet reactions. Alex wasn't sure what Victor was thinking, but he highly suspected what Two Brains was. Alex always figured, deep down, Two Brains could never fully hate his father. Whenever he was mentioned before, Two Brains would always have a solemn look, but never a hateful one. Alex figured Two Brains still loved the father that raised and cared for him and his siblings so well, he just hated the killer the man had become. Alex didn't hold it against him. He knew that if his parents and Rebecca were still alive, they wouldn't hold it against him either. Everyone was soon startled by Becky suddenly growling even as Tristan held her. They turned around and saw Atomic was beginning to wake up from the back of Victor's car. Carl, Tristan, Constance, the Chaotic four, Joe, Alan, Agent AA, and the Henchmen begin to tense up. Some of them were looking ready for an attack. Dr. Two Brains raised up his hands to halt them. "Hang on a second everyone. Atomic may be conscious but trust me. He doesn't have access to his powers right now." Dr. Two Brains tried reassuring them. Victor then spoke up. "He's right. Two Brains took his powers. He is out of the game but only temporarily." Atomic began to become lucid and tried to get out of the car. "How did you do that?" Jenkins asked as he still took on a defensive stance. Dr. Two Brains shrugged. "I went Professor Terror on him and shot him with a device from my staff that not only inhibited his powers, but also knocked him out pretty good. I originally designed the device in case Miss Power ever came back but I figured this was still a good time to use it." Two Brains casually explained. As Atomic got to his feet and his mind became more clear, his eyes soon landed on the group. His expression instantly morphed from puzzlement to fury when he spotted Maddrix standing near them still alive. "YOU ARE DEAD MADDRIX!" Atomic yelled before jumping into the air...and later falling back down flat on his face. It was a comedic sight. "Hey Matthew is stubbornness reacting out of emotion an inherited trait from your side of the family?" Two Brains asked in a sarcastic tone as he stared at the fallen Atomic with an annoyed deadpan expression. Matthew shrugged. "Um' shouldn't we still tie him up even though he doesn't have any powers?" Sunshine suggested. "I got this. Fluffy please wrap up the crazy hero." Archie requested his pet spider. @dualnaturedscientist

[hopalongfairywren]

Sam Bucket Lore liveblogging

FUCK WE'RE LIVE

lore is starting in nine minutes ok. I can wait.

quackity inspires him omg. cc!Quackity really did raise the dsmp to new levels. It was already great but he made it fucking cinematic

tina shoutout! Everyone say thank you to cc!tina she is the reason

Sam bucket. I will never get tired of cc!sam saying saaam buuucket

wait its not over till its over... Huh. Damnit their goes my friday night

c!george cameo? They really are shoehorning in every lore deficient person into these finales huh.

creepy music ooh. I love the music its not spooky month yet but i feel like the music makes it come early.

jumpscares? Fuck. The things I do for minecraft lore

Bad, minecraft is fucking terrifying

Oh thank god the timeline is saved

STARTING

oh god it has a "disturbing content warning" and its crackling like a found footage thingy. Well dsmp fandom if I don't see a shit ton of halloween/horror projects after this imma be mad

recap! with creepy music!

god damn it im already on edge

c!sam thank you for having more reason than the average horror protagonist

YESS. WAIT KNIGHTS OF HOPE? WILL THEY JOIN? AU MATERIAL?

talk to foolish? At the same time as perhaps... the knights of hope... so interconecting lore and plotlines that compliment each other?

No one would come. Nobody trusts c!sam or c!bad because of their actions. Jesus christ. That's my angsty interpretation but it's probably everyone just going; "Well ghosts are real, you can revive the dead, their was a parasitic red egg that tried to kill us, but that..? That's ridiculous lol. Go take your meds."

c!sam is fucking terrified and trying to reassure himself that maybe this isn't real. I wouldn't exactly call it gaslighting (can we not water down the term gaslighting is actively malicious-)

Oh. He brought up being stuck in the egg. Get him c!Sam.

Past lorestream being mentioned in canon? consistency for lore/characters/timeline? Can this stream kiss me pls?

FUUUCK

why does the music sound like fnaf phone ringing stuff

aaand they split up. theyre totally dead

sam bucket

ok but imagine from an in universe perspective how terrifying this is. I'll make a detailed post later

fuck the worst thing is when its to dark you can't see the threat

is he gonna do the horror classic of sneaking into the monster?

YEP

EGG AINT GONE YET EGG MAINS STAY WINNING

jesus christ they took notes from classic horror movies didn't they

Oh god the og eggpire. This makes the current eggpire's actions even more horrifying. They knew they were wrong. they did it anyways.

And yet more proof that the dsmp has been inhabited long before c!dream and will be long after!

Sam bucket

Francis? FRAN?

Callahan? Dream? Slime? Who knows who started this take ur pick!

Oh god I was right. The eggpire people would have had a few momments of lucidity. Scp Slowburn sloth nightmarefuel shit right their

Oh he wanted his dog. Oh. :(

SAM BUCKET WAS WARNING THEM? OH? OH? (pls tell me this is the truth no sudden attack no jumpscare let sam bucket be good)

ok now i feel bad for what im gonna do with sam bucket in pitdd :(

Wait is this a trick? Oh fuck. FUCK.

Is he sacrificing himself or Bad?

Oh HIMSELF?

Now I REALLY feel bad for what I'm gonna do with sam bucket lore in pitdd. Ah well I wrote it back when sam bucket was new and its important

HE PULLED A SKEPPY REFRENCE WTF

OK that ending. I DID NOT SUSPECT THAT ENDING

So many questions. Is Sam bucket good? did he trick c!bad? Did he somehow escape after destroying the egg? did he kill c!bad after this or get him posessed? This doesn't end until cc!sam gets raided so I guess we have to find out....

Oh god back to the scary part no more whismical music

THE EGG IS FROM THE FUCKING NETHER?

Ok this left more questions then answers why did sam bucket show up outside after he blocked himself off. The implication of the Egg being from the nether. If this is the end I'll be confused.

oh wow this is late i forgot to publish it woops

[agentnico]

The Black Phone (2022) Review

Wow, kids in the 70s really liked bullying each other, didn’t they? Just the common high school hobby - lets punch each other to our heart’s desire! What a time to have been a child!

Plot: After being abducted by a child killer and locked in a soundproof basement, a 13-year-old boy starts receiving calls on a disconnected phone from the killer's previous victims.

This year has been pretty good for horror films thus far. Got to see Sebastian Stan being a charming cannibal in Fresh; a bunch of youths filmed a porno whilst being massacred one by one by their old horny landlords in X; and the Foo Fighters got killed off by a possessed band leader Dave Grohl who wanted to go solo in Studio 666 - so all in all, not too shabby to bring out the scares of 2022. Next we now have The Black Phone, where Ethan Hawke gets to play your not so usual evil clown (he describes himself as a part-time magician) who wears a half-clown-half-devil mask, drives a black van and has a bunch of black balloons as a prop in abducting little boys. Oh yeah, this guy is a pervert through and through, and Hawke is aptly creepy and scary, however be warned, this movie is not the Ethan Hawke show, as he’s actually not in the movie that much. Only for 3 or 4 scenes really. It’s actually about a brother and a sister, a modern Hansel and Gretel if you will (though any fictional brother/sister name examples would fit) and them dealing with their abusive father who has a drinking problem, and gosh I must tell you, if anyone here has had abusive parents, I feel for you as the abusive dad in this is horrible and manipulative. So as a result what we have is a movie that is not necessarily that scary, but more so just offers a situation that in itself is horrifying. 

Speaking of which, the child actors in this are phenomenal. They get the most screen time, and they could have really ruined the film with bad deliveries or general annoyances that can come with the demand of an R-rated, adult-themed movie, and in the 1970s no less. They really had to understand their element, and the main brother and sister had to show us their chemistry not just when together but also when apart. They had a lot to work with, and lived up to their roles. This was of course complemented by Hawke's villain role, portrayed very obscurely yet charismatically. You're not ever really knowing what he's thinking, what he'll do next, or why/when he'll decide to wear different masks or illicit a new kind of conversation. They could have gone deeper into it narratively however, as it is never really explained why Hawke’s character wore masks, and at one point in the film when his mask is torn off he freaks out and becomes a wimp, again begging the question why his character felt so naked without the masks. Felt like there was an expositional scene that was cut out from the final cut, which does leave one wanting more. Especially due to Hawke’s limited screen time, you do wish there was more backstory provided for him.

The Black Phone feels like a movie that was made in the 70′s. Scott Derrickson in faded tones to give it the feel of that era, and throws in cuts of old school stock footage to amplify that. Additionally the first act of this film is very slow paced, and takes its time introducing us to the child characters and their lifestyle, which very much reminded me of the coming-of-age style of Richard Linklater movies. Also, all the kids in this movie bully the heck out of one another at school. Like there’s so much punching. Like my gosh the 70s was rough. I blame it on ‘Nam. I don’t know, for some reason seeing kids bully each other makes me think of the 70′s. Cause evidently bullying is so specific to the 70′s...

Overall The Black Phone is a very enjoyable if not quite dark thriller. I wouldn’t really call it a horror, as the scares mainly come from jump scare reveals of ghosts who look like zombies, but even then I wouldn’t call them scary. However seeing a very game Hawke and very talented lead child actors, this very much provided a exciting if not a tad forgettable visit to the movies.

Overall score: 6/10

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding X

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV - - - - - Part V - - -  - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII - - - - - Part IX

“I realize this is incredibly difficult,” the Nautolan Soul Healer said calmly. “But in order for us to help Obi-Wan, we need to determine the cause of his current disconnection with reality. Based on the drug panel, and convenient surveillance, we have, to the best of our ability, ruled out temporary psychosis brought on by a drug interaction.”

Cody stiffened further, not sure how to react to anything anymore. When a brother tried to end his own life, it was usually obvious why.

Sife Aerdo continued on. “There have, of course, been cases of Jedi Seers giveing into their fears of the future, or losing their sense of reality, but every case study involving such an extreme reaction was the result a gradual degradation over the course of many years. Nevertheless, it seems clear that Obi-Wan experienced a vision, and it may have impacted his breakdown to some extent. The more we know, the more successful any attempts to convince him of reality will be.”

Bant furrowed her brow in thought, trying to replay three decades of increasingly vague discussions of nightmares.

”Considering the high profile nature of his position, we cannot rule out some kind of psychological attack, perhaps even a darksider incursion.

Anakin leaned forward intently, the inside of his skull buzzing with white noise.

"All that being said, we must be prepared to treat Obi-Wan’s self harm as the  culmination of a long and quiet mental health struggle. He would not be the first in the Order to disguise such a thing with durasteel self-discipline.”

At that, Bant and Mace took a moment to release their feelings to the force, while Anakin raised his shields defensively.

Master Aerdo finally hesitated, before continuing in the same smooth tone. “I would ordinarily prefer to structure this kind of conversation quite differently- allow Obi-Wan time to share his feelings first and invite you each separately to support him in the healing process. But he’s gone from fighting sedatives and force compulsions as though the fate of the galaxy depended on it, to a self-induced coma. All while barely lucid, yet still somehow maintaining Master Class mental shielding. We need to get a better understanding of his mental landscape if we’re going to even begin the process of treatment."

It is necessary to note that everyone in that room had led, in one way or another, a somewhat miserable life. This was the main reason none of them could claim that the next five hours were the worst they had ever experienced. 

“But he’s always had terrible sleeping habits.” Anakin said hoarsely.

“Yes, but I think they got worse after Qui-Gon passed,” Bant argued, not sure what point she was making. 

“When I pointed out he couldn’t be getting more than three hours a night he told me that he could manage on meditation” Cody offered irritably.

“That’s technically true,” Mace confirmed. “If the Master in question is well-balanced otherwise”

“So its like his eating habits, crushing responsibilities, and repeated exposure to violence, then? Completely fine for a Jedi, in less it’s not, in which case it’s a major red flag?” 

“I think it would help to establish a timeline.“

Aerdo actually dredged up old mission reports, leading to the group reluctantly contacting Ashoka for her memories of Mortis.

At her Master’s insistence, she told them everything she remembered, hazy as it was, nervously elaborating on her own memories of falling. To her confusion, Master Windu all but brushed past that, assuring her that the important thing with stepping into darkness was the choice to the return to the light. Anakin bizarrely agreed with Windu. Out loud. Unnerved by the cooperation more than anything, she put her holographic foot down and demanded to know what was going on. 

Anakin took the comm-link into a separate room to speak privately.

Upon return, he informed the group (with a visibly red and puffy face) that Kit would be escorting her back from Mount Cala cleanup early, daring anyone to disagree. Windu nodded and the conversation continued on.

Together they rewatched holo-footage of Obi-Wan laughing amongst Ghost company the night before last, and debated reports from psychometric investigators who had scoured the cantina as well as Obi-Wan’s personal quarters for traces of illicit substances. Between that and another drug panel, they were finally forced to conclude that despite the timing, the alcohol at most confused Obi-Wan’s perception of a vision, or possibly simply loosened his tongue.

Bant prodded Cody to repeat every word from the holocar ride to the temple, taking furious notes. Cody was unable to stop the heat that crawled up his face.

Just when the looming horror of Obi-Wan actually preparing to intentionally die started to break over Anakin, Windu interjected.

“You don’t see what I do,” the Harun Kal said grimly. “Something galaxy-sized shattered around Obi-Wan and he didn’t break from it. The closest comparison I have is Master Yaddle’s presence when she meditated on her confinement. He’s chosen to keep going, even when, quite frankly, death would be a release. We’re missing something fundamental.”

“He said there were ‘other dark forces at work.’ Even if the fight was objectively hopeless... there’s no way he would choose to die because of it!” Anakin agreed vehemently, shaking off morbid fears.

“But he did choose to die.” Cody said quietly. And the wind went out of Anakin’s sails.

“Lets go back.”

Anakin gritted his teeth as they picked apart everything ‘unusual’ Obi-Wan had said and done leading up to his visit with Bant.

“What exactly did he...”

“So Plo Koon was able to get a read through his shields?”

“Did he have anything to eat?”

“How did that compare to...”

“When he's mentioned things in the future...did it seem good or bad to you?” Bant asked.

“Bad.” Cody and Anakin said in unison. Remembering the trip to the temple Cody spoke again, “Definitely bad.”

“Right. When we were talking he sometimes used the wrong tenses for things, people. I confronted him on not knowing ‘when’ he was after Knight Skywalker left. He told me that he knew what was real, but he was “enjoying not fully living in the moment” he also said that he intended to “wake up”

“Enjoying? That’s the exact word he used?” Cody asked incredulous. 

“He did seem...mostly happy yesterday. Giddy, at points.” Anakin said, slumping in on himself.

Bant looked at her notes once more before addressing the group.

“This isn’t vision psychosis in any manner I’ve heard of before...but I think I might have a theory. He used to have intense visions when we were kids; plenty of us did sometimes, but Obi-Wan would be unable to sleep after. What terrified him more than anything was the uncertainty that he might make the wrong choice- even when the vision was about something good, or neutral. His visions gradually stopped coming around puberty. We just had a conversation about this a few months ago- how relieved he was to only have to manage flashes of precognition. If he had a random, horrifying vision of a terrible future...suicide wouldn’t be his reaction. It’s too final.”

“Even if he blamed himself for what he saw coming?” Mace asked.

“Especially if he blamed himself.” Bant said. 

“What’s your theory?” Aerdo prodded.

“What if...what if he was telling the truth when he said he could separate out what was real and what was not? What if there was no distortion or blurring between now and then? What if he was just wrong about which was which?”

“That...would be a very extreme and abnormal manifestation of force-induced psychosis. He has training in distinguishing reality from visions. The continued presence of his mental shielding means that the fabric of his mind can’t be so horrifically collapsed in on itself.” 

“What if the vision was actually that realistic?” Bant said, pushing back against the soul healer. “So detailed and vivid that it effectively was a reality in itself, and everything else, all of us...”

“Were just memories” Anakin finished. “It would...actually explain pretty much everything. You said he wanted to wake up and when...when I found him.” He stopped, swallowing. “When I found him, he argued with me...what if he wasn’t trying to hurt himself? If you’re right...that would mean I found him trying to get back to reality.”

“It could explain his behavior in the halls...his desperation to wake...” Sife mused “But it runs counter to every other experience I’ve had with those managing prophetic visions. Master Windu, could that explain the shatterpoints you saw?”

“I’m not certain. It would have to have been extraordinarily real to create the echos of Shattering I witnessed. I don’t know if that depth of vision has occurred before, but then again, many things are possible in the force.”

“You really think he might have been...trying to wake up from dream? By killing himself?!” Cody asked incredulous.

“If that ends up being what happened I am going to give him such shit. That is the worst way to end a vision.” Anakin replied.

“Yes. It is.” Bant said pointedly. “That’s why it’s a last resort, after every other attempt to wake fails.” 

They all sat in silence, processing various implications. Cody was unnerved by another terrifying insight into force powers, as well as the idea that the General might vividly remember Cody being inexplicably mind-controlled into trying to kill him. Anakin was trying to understand what this would mean for them, and the conversations he had thought they had had. Did...any of it count, if he thought he was offering it to a hallucination?

“Alright, this is a valuable working idea, but let’s make sure to examine everything with an open mind before we draw any more conclusions. Anakin, what happened after you left the healers office?”

Obi-Wan’s critique of the practicalities of visiting a soul healer could be and was interpreted multiple ways. The incongruity of peacekeepers in war sparked a rehash of earlier discussion. More apologies. Self identifying as ‘crazy’ inspired new debate, especially in the context of the new theory. 

“When I saw him enter the fountain room I assumed he had had a brutal run-in with  dark force user.” Windu explained. “Based on everything we’ve gone over, I don’t understand when...but some of the more insidious sith compulsions work by taking whatever small anger or hurt you feel and magnifying them until they consume you. If Obi-Wan was already experiencing self loathing...”

Cody sucked in a breath. “Then a Sith mind suggestion would bring him to commit suicide. It...sounds like something he might do, if he was partially in control. Take the blow rather than let himself be used as a weapon against anyone else, even his worst enemy.”

“Hells, it could have been an even vaguer compulsion, driving him to attack the person he hates the most,” Bant added darkly.

Anakin buried his head in his hands, trying to hold it together. He couldn’t afford to lose control or get angry. Hells, getting angry at Obi-Wan for ‘failing him’ when in pain could be the reason Obi-Wan was currently in the healing halls. The man said he loved him unconditionally, then practically had a breakdown over how much Anakin pushed that unconditional love to the breaking point, then killed himself. How was he supposed to-

“Anakin? Are you alright to continue?” someone said.

“Yes. No. There’s more I have to tell you...I don’t know if it will help but - it was hurting Obi-Wan...I...”

“Let’s just take it one step at a time. What happened after you left Mace?”

Apparently even Cody somehow knew more about Bruck Chun than Anakin. Master Windu and Eerin told different sides of the same sad story, which spiraled back into a conversation about Obi-Wan’s inadequacy issues, which somehow devolved into a long rant about Qui-Gon Jinn that Master Windu had apparently been holding back for years. 

“My apologies.” He said afterwards, clearing his throat as the group stared, taken aback. “Old grievances. Go on Anakin, what did happened after you got to the ‘secret spot.’”

“He...was skirting around whatever was bothering him...I pushed him...told him I wanted to help...he said I couldn’t...because it was me...because of what I...”

Anakin stood up suddenly, feeling the walls of the room closing in.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry I-” 

He ran out.

He turned around almost immediately, pacing in the small corridor, knowing he couldn’t leave, simply needing a minute to catch his breath.

Master Windu followed him out after a moment, not saying anything, just standing there. Watching him.

“What!” Anakin finally snapped. “What do you have to say that I don’t know already!”

“Knight Skywalker-”

“Don’t call me that! I DON’T DESERVE-” 

Anakin let out a frustrated snarl, punching a wall. The crumble of stone beneath this fist briefly made him feel better, but then he remembered Obi-Wan’s heartbroken expression in the light of an underworldly glow, and the tiny, choked sound he heard when the healers moved him and Anakin just...collapsed, falling to his knees.

Master Windu sank down gracefully beside him.

“Anakin. This isn’t about attachment issues, is it.”

“Not really, no. I mean, maybe you’ll blame attachment but it’s more about...”

“Anger.”

Anakin looked up at that, trying to regain the meditative calm he had felt for a glimmering moment yesterday, right in-between making peace in the cave and everything burning to ash. 

“You know that I have had my own struggles with anger. It is how and why I came to develop Vaapad.” 

“Yes, but you’ve Mastered your anger. And you’ve never...never given in to hate.”

A beat passed and Windu watched some of Skywalker’s familiar breaking points flicker into view. 

“You’ve done something. Something you know the Jedi won’t forgive.”

“Obi-Wan forgave me.” Anakin said, whispering. “He said that even though I couldn’t fix what I did he loved me anyway and I just needed to...to honestly regret what I did and not do it again. I told him I’d get rid of my lightsaber and I meant it and...I thought he forgave me. I was ready to go to the Council with him, come clean about everything. And then I left him alone to get dinner and when I came back...he was holding my lightsaber. My lightsaber.” 

Anakin buried his face in his hands, shuddering with creeping cold.

“I’m not going to critique your and Obi-Wan’s attachment to each other right now. I’m well aware that much of the order has turned to personal ties to maintain their stability given the ongoing horrors of war. I am, for many reasons, wary of the risks this brings us, yet it is also true that risks do not automatically mean failure. I myself have mastered my emotions in a different manner than conventional wisdom councils.” 

Windu spoke carefully. For all that he and Anakin had similar relationships with the force, they rarely saw eye to eye on any given subject. At a certain point, Mace had accepted that the volatile young man was determined to find the worst possible interpretation for anything he said. And Mace was not the order’s most patient diplomat.

“As for your crime, whatever it is, l will tell you this: Unless you choose to renounce the code and leave our number, you will be treated as a Jedi Knight, subject to our protections, as well as our judgement. You will receive appropriate mental counseling. If you are judged to be a danger to those around you, your actions will be curtailed and monitored, possibly through temporary confinement.  The Jedi do not believe in punitive measures for their own sake, but you may be required to provide restitution to those you harmed, perhaps indefinitely. 

Silence hung perilously between them. Windu watched a tremor run through the unfathomable kaleidoscopic of shatterpoints that had orbited Skywalker since he was a boy. A small one broke inward, and an attached tangle of larger, darker ones fell away, crumbling to dust. The rest faded from view, invisible for the moment. A choice had been made, some decision that closed off at least one path to the darkside.

“There’s no one to make restitutions to.”

“...You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”

“Let’s go back inside- I don’t want to do this twice.”

They returned to the increasingly hated meeting room.

Anakin spoke in an outpouring of words about love and hate, about misplaced revenge and now uncertain forgiveness. When he finally finished, the room was deathly silent.

The three Jedi sat quietly while Cody pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess this is why Jedi have the no attachment rule, huh? I admit I never really got it, but I suppose even if I-”

Bant abruptly lunged up, fumbling to bring her lightsaber to Anakin’s neck. Everyone jumped to their feet, except for Anakin, who stared at Bant with a wretched expression.

“MASTER EERIN! This is not-”

“Did you do it?” she asked, ignoring the Master of the Order.

“Bant!”

“It was my first thought after I saw him. We all rushed in expecting a fight, or a bomb, only to find you, insane, and him with a hole next to his heart. I didn’t want to believe it of course, but you’ve always had a violent streak that Obi-Wan, force help him, couldn’t quite soothe away. A fight gone wrong. Master Windu said it was suicide, and I believed him, and I’ve been trying to make sense of that ever since. But Mace found you after, didn’t he? After you felt guilty? Did you think he was going to turn on you?”

“Bant Eerin, you are dangerously-”

“No.” Anakin whispered.

“Obviously I might be why. But I didn’t- I couldn’t. I know I’m not good but I can’t even imagine- holding a saber against him like that. Kriff, do you not get how much I can’t handle losing people I love? I was insane when you saw me because I saw someone trying to kill Obi-Wan and I couldn’t even fight them.”  

Bant held his gaze for several lingering seconds, deactivated her saber and dropping it with a clatter. They stared at each other, breathing heavily and not blinking. She returned to her seat, moving jerkily. “I apologize Knight Skywalker. That was uncalled for.” 

“I wish I could say I wouldn’t have done the same thing in your shoes” he responded lowly. Bant made a tiny, unintelligible noise in reply. 

Cody collapsed back into his chair, holstering his blaster.  “Alright then...so after you finished sitting in the fountain room...what happened next?”

Everyone stared at him.

“What?”

“You’re handling Anakin’s confession somewhat dispassionately. We’re simply surprised.” Mace said slowly, returning to his seat at the same time as Master Aerdo fell into theirs.

Cody shifted uncomfortably. “The vod were trained in a wide range of enemy suppression tactics. While we’re extremely glad the Jedi have never asked us to employ them, I’m not...unfamiliar with this scale of deliberate slaughter. At least in the hypothetical, sir.”

“I see.” Aerdo said. “That is a valuable insight to have, thank you. Knight Skywalker-”

“Just...call me Anakin. Or Skywalker.”

“Anakin. When did this happen?”

“About two years ago, immediately before the First Battle of Geonosis.”

“And have you had any similar experiences with giving into the darkside since?” they asked placidly.

“I don’t think so but...we went to war the next day and....I don’t know if I’ve stopped fighting since it- since I did what I did.”

“Hmm. Anakin, would you mind stepping outside the room and waiting in the corridor for a moment please?” 

He bit his tongue, tasting blood, and quietly walked out the door while the Masters decided his fate. He leaned back against a wall, desperately wanting to see Padme. 

To his surprise, the door opened barely a few minutes later, and he was politely invited back in.

“Anakin.” Master Windu spoke. “Thank you for telling us this. It’s an important insight into Obi-Wan’s feelings right now, and I recognize that you could have kept it a secret. As Head of the Order, and with the advice of a Senior Soul Healer, I have made a decision. You will be assigned a personal soul healer, who you will start seeing tomorrow. Commander Cody pointed out that over nearly two years of continuous warfare, you have maintained some of the the lowest trooper casualty units of any division, by a significant margin if we evaluate based on mission risk level. Your civilian and enemy casualties will be reviewed, but even considering constant war, since your massacre of the Tuskens, you have clearly managed to at least... direct your violence away from the innocent. We do not consider you a threat to the inhabitants of the world. For the time being, I see no real benefit to limiting or tracking your behavior within the temple or on planet, but you are barred from leaving orbit. I have decided to delay a full reckoning before the council until such time that your former Master is well enough to provide his own opinion. Give me just cause, and I will have you confined to a force-suppressing cell. Do you understand?”

Anakin nodded, bowing in acknowledgment. All things considered, it was...honestly better than he expected.

“Now, as Cody” Windu paused. “My apologies, as the Commander was saying-” 

“Cody’s fine, sir” Cody said, wrung out in a way different from anything Kamino had trained him for.

“...I think we can all consider ourselves on a first name basis at this point.” Bant said with a snort. She paused. “That includes you Anakin. I really don’t know how to handle what you did but kark it, I don’t want to hate you. For myself.”

Everyone nodded.

“As Cody was saying, what happened next?”

Peace. Comfort. Hunger. A warning in the force...

-

“I tried to pull the saber back but his finger was already on the igniter...” 

“You probably saved his life. Even a second later-”

“I know, that’s almost the worst part.”

-

“-his neck”

“Why would he change weapons?”

“What if-”

-

“He said what to you and Healer Che?”

“That has to support the detailed vision idea, think about-”

“I’m sorry, Emperor?”

-

“I think we’re done.”

Anakin stared blankly at Sife. “But we didn’t figure anything out.”

“Not conclusively, but we’re unlikely to make any more progress, you’ve given me enough information to preform a meaningful meditative scan, or guide a conversation, should Obi-Wan wake, or navigate through his mind, should we decide to make a more decisive attempt at his shields.”

“Master Aerdo... I leave the final judgement up to you, but I strongly urge you to make a more decisive attempt. I am more convinced now than I was...” Mace glanced at the chronometer “five hours ago that this was motivated by a specific, external stimuli, likely dark. Do you disagree?”

“No.” they said with a sigh. “But I don’t want to underestimate how much underlying factors might have contributed to his response to stimuli, including underlying factors that none of you were aware of.”

The Nautolan Soul Healer stood up, tucking their hands into their sleeves to address the room with classical Jedi serenity. It was a little irritating.

“In any case, we all need to sleep, eat, and meditate. Master Eerin, you have the rest of the day off, I've cleared it with Master Che already. Master Windu, I leave the final judgement up to you, and I am aware that your duties as Master of the Order are unceasing, but I urge you to take some time to center yourself before returning to the council. Commander Cody, I would be more than willing to arrange soul healing for you or any of the Vod, please let me know. Anakin, you will receive a comm later today with further details on your future healing sessions. 

They bowed low, then glided out the door.

Bant stood next, bowed individually to each soul, and sped walked out.

Commander Cody cleared his throat awkwardly, “Mace- what should I tell the troops? We’re supposed to have command briefings later tonight.”

“If anyone asks about General Kenobi, tell them its classified.” I’ll schedule a briefing on the subject. Now go find Captain Rex and take care of yourself, that’s an order.”

Cody saluted, first to the high General, then to Anakin.

Finally it was just Mace and Anakin.

“Is there anyone who you trust who I can call to stay with you.” Master Windu asked.

“I can manage on my own” Anakin replied, not willing to give the Master of the Order anything else he could use against him, even after everything.

Master Windu held back a sigh.

He continued once more, making a deliberate attempt to soften his tone. “Anakin- I know we’ve had our differences, but this is not a trick, nor a trap. You’ve suffered a series of great shocks in the last 24 hours and handled them with immense maturity. I myself am struggling to deal with the emotional fallout.”

Anakin looked up at that, surprised. He didn’t seem to be struggling, but maybe that was what made him a good Jedi Master...

“As I told you before, I am not going to begrudge you the comfort of attachment. I’m rather convinced it would do you more harm than good at this point. I don’t want you flying right now, and you don’t have to be alone. I hope we have come to a better understanding today, but I doubt my presence is suddenly a comfort, though please correct me if I’m wrong. Now is there someone I can call?”

-

Padme ended her call with Master Windu extremely discomfited. She had barely heard from Anakin since he ran out on her the night before last to take care of an apparently extremely drunk Obi-Wan. He had messaged her a few times that night, promising to make it up to her, but had been comm-silent since. She had been starting to get worried, and now the Master of the Order was asking her to pick him up from the temple. Fortunately, she had already cleared most of her meetings for the week well in advance (Courascant leave usually meant THEM time, not that she was jealous of Obi-Wan, of course).

The speeder ride back from the temple was silent. All Anakin would say was that he would explain everything once they were in ‘a secure location.’ 

The door to the apartment had scarcely closed behind them when Anakin fell into her arms, shaking.

“Anakin, talk to me love, what’s wrong?” She gently guided him to the couch, arranging him so she could hold him protectively.

“Obi-Wan tried to kill himself.”

She let out a harsh gasp, “No! He can’t have, he would never-” 

“I got to him in time, but Padme... he was holding a lightsaber to his heart. It was...really close” He burrowed deeper into the folds of her dress, and she gripped him fiercely.

“Oh gods, is he-”

“He’s physically healing, but he’s still...not all there. I spent all of today locked in a room, trying to figure out if it was a Sith Attack, or an insane vision, or..or me”

“Anakin! What do you mean ‘me’ - Obi-Wan loves you, you-”

“I know.” Anakin interrupted her again, knowing he was being unfair; he was just too exhausted to be patient.

“He told me loved me. He...he...found out about what I did to the Tusken village, You should have seen his face, Padme, he was horrified, but he still told me he loved me, and he was willing to forgive me, even though he shouldn’t”

“Of course he forgave you,” Padme whispered. “You’re not a monster, Anakin, I know you would never do something like that again.”

"And then after we talked, I left him alone and he-” Anakin choked out into her dress.

Tears ran down her face, heart breaking. “That’s- that’s horrible. Anakin...it must have have been a attack, Obi-Wan wouldn’t do that.” she said urgently.

He pulled away, horrified. “I made you cry. I made Obi-Wan cry too. I’m sorry- Padme please, promise me you won’t-”

She grabbed the sides of his head. 

Her nails bit into the soft skin behind his ears as she pulled him down so they were face-to-face, vowing, “Never. I swear by the force itself, I will never choose death over life.”

He let out a relieved sigh, eyes fluttering closed.

“Now you,” she demanded

“As long as I have anyone to live for, I swear by the force, I will never choose death over life.”

She pulled him the rest of the way in for a bruising kiss. He lifted her, and they desperately clung at one another as he carried her to bed. They continued like that, clinging and grasping, until exhaustion carried him to sleep. She pulled the covers over top them both and curled around him defensively as the day slowly faded away.

Part XI

[noa-nightingale]

Unsolved’s Last Episode

What a journey it has been. And now it is over and I have to find ways to deal with that. So I decided to do what I do best, which is rambling about things I love, finding meaning in them and trying to get that meaning across in a way that is probably way too earnest and too emotional.

Let’s take a close look at the last Buzzfeed Unsolved episode, Return To The Demonic Sallie House.

I watched this alone. I stayed away from tumblr, twitter and discord on purpose. It was midnight in Germany when the episode aired and it was about 1 a.m. when I went to bed. I decided to go to sleep immediately after I watched the episode without talking to anyone about it, and that’s exatly what I did.

I wanted to cry but I did not manage to do it. I just lay in the dark, stared at the ceiling and had a lot of thoughts in my head.

So, let’s unpack this.

The Sallie House! Where it all started! And the second demon ep of the season! They really decided to go out with a bang.

I don’t know why I thought I would be able to get through this without getting my heart broken - it already started in such a wonderful, beautiful, sad way. Shane reading what Ryan said the last time at the Sallie House. The handshake. The trip via plane and car (loved that tiny bit of footage of their journey there). Shane making Ryan say “And now I’m back” with confidence.

“What a weird mix of emotions, to be sad, happy and horrified.” Lord, that hit me in the feelings. Ryan, I hope everything you went through and everything you experienced was worth it to you. And I really hope you know how much it means to people.

(I have my own weird mix of emotions attached to that episode now - sadness, excitement, joy, happiness, grief, gratefulness, love.)

I loved how they kept referencing the first investigation without making this episode feel like “just” a copy of it. It’s an entirely different vibe, a strong, fantastic episode in its own right and a worthy goodbye.

(And I also have to mention that little conversation about Shane laying on the pentragram. Look. Listen. I am asexual as hell. I am the most asexual asexual who has ever asexual-ed. I have not experienced one single sexual attraction in my entire life. It’s just not part of my experience. But putting yourself on a pentagram in the basement of a demon house while yelling “Rock’n’roll buckaroo” at whatever entity might listen - that is, respectfully and platonically, friggin’ sexy.)

“It just occured to me, we don’t really talk on the phone to like, just see what’s going on, because we see each other every day.” Oh dear God, it’s still happening. ^-^ I was reminded of the several times this has been brought up before - that they see each other more than any other person, that they spend a shitton of time together, and that even during quarantine they facetimed almost every day. Idk it just made me even sadder - they made memories together, went on this journey together, got closer as friends, grew as people; and now this show is over.

I am beyond grateful that Watcher exists and that Steven Lim (because goddamn, I love that guy) exists and that new memories will be made, but I am still so damn sad.

“It felt like the right time to leave on our own terms.” I am gonna ignore for now that he said this to a demon - I am just happy for them. This episode is such a great ending for such a great show, and I am glad they could do it on their own terms.

(Although I am a tiny bit salty that they apparently could not promote Watcher the way they should have been able to. Having to cut parts from the postmortem etc. But I once again have to give kudos to the Watcher fandom here; I have seen many people promoting the hell out of Watcher, and that is a beautiful thing.)

Ryan: “If that actually is a demonic presence in here, or Sallie, the thing that says it’s Sallie, can you turn the light on?”

(light switches on immediately)

Ryan: “Oh fuck off.”

I almost laughed out loud (had to stop myself, did not want to wake my roommate or my cat) but he said that in such a genuine, emphatic way and it was funny as hell.

“An audio recorder left in this room would later pick up the musical mobile playing by itself. Making this evidence even more compelling is the fact that seconds before the mobile plays, a white orb moves across the top right corner, just near the mobile that is out of frame.”

This narration brought to you by Ryan “Not An Orb Guy” Bergara. :p (I am not gonna razz him too much though - we know he presents evidence (or “evidence”, if you are a Shaniac) and then let’s the viewer decide what to make of it. He’s just reporting the findings. And yeah, I think that is admirable. Also, I know it has been said many times before but hats off to those guys for not faking evidence. Best ghosthunters in the world indeed, and I mean that.)

I also love that Ryan considers Shane a ghost cage (and an organic ghost cage, at that). Shane Madej, organic ghost cage. Put that on a lower third somewhere.

I generally don’t get that scared while watching Unsolved but the little girl turning into the demon thingy - the visual itself - is a tiny little bit disturbing when you watch this stuff at midnight. (I still slept soundly though lol. Did not have any nightmares.)

A thing that is just really endearing (and a little bit funny) to me is Shane sitting on the counter in the kitchen, with his long legs. Compare that to Ryan sitting on the table, with his little legs. ^-^

Also, compare Season 1 Ryan to Ryan now. He would never have mocked a demon in its own house and now look at him, drawing that portrait of Sallie. Yeah, I know it is silly but I am so incredibly proud of the guy.

Aand into the basement we go. And almost six years later, they are still a package deal. *noises of ugly crying*

He’s on the pentagram! I repeat, he’s on the pentagram!!! Never thought I’d see the day. Like, good God, this guy. The character development. The courage. I am blessed to be allowed to witness it.

AND THE BOYS ARE SALLIE APPROVED! GREATEST GHOSTHUNTERS IN THE WORLD! I AM SO DAMN HAPPY FOR THEM!!

That’s some well-earned cheering right there. Genuinely happy for them. Loved this moment.

We have reached Shane’s solo investigation and I got, once again, punched in the heart when Ryan said “So long, friend”.

And I know I am “just” watching Shane doing what Shane has done for all this series - being rude to demons and ghosts, yelling at them, telling them to do stuff to him and to wreak havoc. But it’s the last time now and it’s difficult to watch. I am happy for him - he defeated Annabelle, he defeated the Goatman and now he defeated Sallie.

“You’re a big nothing! You’re powerless in the face of the ghoul boys!” Hell yeah!!!

And, for the last time, they are doing the little dance of Shane telling Ryan he heard some spooky stuff that he did not actually hear. My heart can’t take it, it’s too much, I don’t want this to end.

Really enjoyed how Shane admitted that it is a spooky house (always has been, always will be). Like, that seemed like a genuine moment he had outside by himself there.

And now, Ryan’s time alone in the Sallie House.

I adore how brave Ryan as gotten, how he developed as a person, how things that would scare him in earlier seasons do not scare him as much anymore - but I have to admit, the moment in the kitchen when he told whoever was there not to show itself was fucking delicious. The fear in his voice. I don’t want this to sound mean but I adored that little moment.

“I am not my fear. I am stronger than my fear.” We love to see it. Genuinely.

I had to giggle when he started laughing maniacally by himself. I am sorry, it is just too hilarious and endearing at the same time.

And he went into the basement alone!!! <3 <3 <3

Shane: “How’d it go?”

Ryan: “It’s over.”

Shane: “It’s over.”

Ryan: “That’s how it went.”

Shane: “You ended it.”

Just... let me cry in peace.

I had to stop myself again from laughing out loud when Shane lay down with the two dolls next to him, aaannnnddd the framed pic of the ghoul boys near where Ryan slept was just a very nice little touch, honestly.

And it is over. It is morning, the “the investigation is done” music starts to play in the background and the series is complete.

... And Shane killed the spirit box. That happened too.

Before I write the last words here like Ryan said his speech at the end of the ep, let me just say: I loved this. I loved this entire episode. And I love these guys. From the bottom of  my heart.

“You believed in us. And for that, I will always be grateful.”

I did. And I do. And many more people do too. And you made me cry. Thank you.

“And sure, we may have never definitively answered the question of Are Ghosts Real. But in the end, in perhaps fitting fashion for a show that finds resolution in the unresolved, all I can say is I’m sure glad we didn’t, because the pursuit and the friendship made along the way was far more fulfilling. I hope the ride was as joyous and full of discovery for you as it was for us. That being said, I ask you one last time: Are ghosts real? For now, and perhaps forever, the answer will graciously remain Unsolved.”

I hope you know how many lives you changed and how many joy and happiness you brought to people, both of you, and the rest of the team. I have seen many many people say how this show helped them through dark times, helped them make friends, made them happy, and was deeply deeply meaningful to them.

The same is true for me, I just never know how to adequately put it into words. This changed my life for the better. It was a light in dark times. It made me braver. It made me better. I can’t thank you enough.

And they could have ended it here, after the “Unsolved”. But nooooo, he had to say more heartfelt words and Shane had to say more heartfelt words and that was what truly made it real for me. It sank in at that point, that this is the end of an era and that this chapter of their life and this chapter of my life is over.

Ryan’s words just really touched me, and it also touched me how intently Shane listened. And Shane can’t tell me that he was not moved as well. Package deal, bond that can’t be broken, best ghosthunters in the world.

(And I would also like to report that while writing this, my dumb stupid eyes finally cooperated and I cried. Thanks for everything, guys. I will keep the memories with me forever while making new ones with Watcher, and I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.)