#its like that one post where the person thought their partner must hate to get texts from them all the time

[dailypokemoncrochet]

Me posting 12 polls all at once: oh ho ho my followers will be so delighted at all the buttons they may press and the possibilities of new art. no it is not spam and will not annoy them. they love click button and they love me so they will be very happy and excited.

[earthry]

Mafia Boss Copia x Reader (Headcanons)

i cant find where i saw it but someone commented on one of my posts several days ago with 'evil copia' or smth and it's been stuck in my head. but also its me so he's evil but also a sweetheart so. here's evil copia and then i make him not-evil.

tw: implied/assumed infidelity, kidnapping (not by copia), violence/murder, copia makes a few oopsies and then does his best to make up for it, gn!reader

He would never raise his voice at you let alone a hand— could never in his life imagine doing such a thing to you. Others however? He almost relishes the way their bodies go slack when he’s had a hand around their throats for just the right amount of time. 

He’s not a full on sadist, but he does enjoy causing pain to those he seems deserving. He has a strong (albeit a little twisted) sense of right and wrong and isn’t afraid to put down his believes. 

The first time he meets you, he thinks that you’re such an angel that it has to be an act, there has to be something, a catch, anything. Humans are inherently folly, there’s no way someone as sweet and gentle as you exists.

You’re immediately charmed by him and he’s intrigued by you so he gives you a chance. He takes you out on a nice date and steals your heart without remorse, not knowing that you were giving it to him freely.

Things seem happy in paradise, he’s the perfect boyfriend, the most thoughtful partner.

Except he tests you, and each time you surprise him with patience and understanding. So he keeps on testing and testing, begins to go out with others and flirt around. He’s waiting for the jealousy, the rage, the pettiness— your true colors. He’s so sure he has it in the bag when one day he comes back with lipstick smudges on his neck and the look on your face is of pure horror.

Instead of the satisfaction and smugness of finally causing a reaction however, he only feels sudden waves of guilt, especially when your look of horror melts into a heartbroken despair instead of jealousy.

You don’t yell or scream or shout. You don’t accuse him of anything, you don’t ask him about the lipstick. Instead, you sink to your knees with a soft sob, hiding your face in your hands and trying to stifle your cries.

He doesn’t know what to do— not this scenario. This was not what he had expected and each sniffle you try to muffle before standing up and apologizing for making a scene makes him hate himself even more.

—

It hurts. Watching him with others, listening to him talk so sweetly and playfully while you’re only a few feet away. You try to convince yourself that it’s just the way he is, that’s his personality and you can hardly fault him for that, right? 

You’re afraid of confrontation, of facing the truth when he’s everything you never thought you could have. When it’s just the two of you, he’s so silly and sweet. He treats you like royalty and holds you so gently. You’re so loved.

It must be you that’s the issue then, right?

The night he comes home with lipstick stains and hickies decorating his neck it’s lIke your world is ending. 

He looks smug as all hell and you wonder to yourself— why?

Is it because he wasn’t satisfied with you? Was it your inexperience that he’s either bored or disgusted with? Was it because you weren’t good enough? Weren’t lovable enough? 

Or was it that you were blind the entire time, that you ignored all the signs because you were just so desperate to be loved, so desperate to finally have this one good thing?

You’re too busy facing your biggest fears to see the look of regret and guilt on Copia’s face, too busy trying not to drown to see him reel in his own emotions, to watch his expressions flash from smug to uncertainty to guilt and regret, and finally to a resolve. A decision.

He pulls you into his arms and you want to fight him but you also can’t help but cling. Your sobs get louder and his arms tighten around you, beginning to rock you back and forth soothingly.

You eventually collapse against him, and still you don’t ask the unimaginable. 

His words feel sugary as he comforts you— you’re not sure what to believe anymore— murmuring reassurances and promises that there’s only you, just you. No one else. He was a fool, he tells you, he was a stupid, stupid fool and it was just a dumb joke and he loves you wholeheartedly, adores you dearly. He’s not going anywhere.

But still. It doesn’t change the fact that those are another’s lipstick staining his neck, his collar. Another’s lips that bit and sucked those hickies into his skin. That marked him as theirs and not yours.

He manages to calm you down, until you’re only soft little sniffles and the occasional hiccup. That night he makes you something light for dinner; a comfort food with your favorite tea. He puts on one of your favorite shows and kisses your forehead before leaving to wash up. To shower and get rid of all the evidence of another’s claim on him.

He stands alone in the bathroom and stares at his reflection in his mirror. He wonders who he is now, if he’d fallen under your spell. But then he thinks about everything that is you— your laugh, your smile, your quirks. Your kindness, your patience, the sound of your voice.

He’s haunted by the look on your face when you realized he’d been marked by another and was unapologetic about it. He certainly is apologetic now. Regretful. Guilty.

He knows he’s a horrible man, a cruel one. He knows he’s done awful things. Learned from his father, his brothers. He decides that this is something he’ll never do again.

Never. Not to you.

When he’s fresh and clean, he dresses himself in comfortable sweats and seeks you out— you’re in the living room with your food that you’ve barely had much of. You’re not paying attention to the TV. You’re curled up on the couch.

Copia clenches jaw. He really is a bastard.

Gingerly, he coaxes you up and pulls you onto his lap so he can feed you. You’re reluctant but he manages to feed you at least half of dinner. Each bite you take is met with praise and words of love.

They don’t sink in, they don’t mean anything to you. Not anymore. You try to hang onto them, though. Try to relish the temporary affection you’re receiving while he’s still here. You’d be naive and foolish for thinking he’d stay, for thinking he’d love you unconditionally.

When you’re fed, he helps you change into comfortable pajamas; not protesting or commenting like he usually does when you pick out one of his oversized shirts for comfort. It’s the one that says ‘VVLGAR’ and you hope maybe when he finally leaves, maybe he’ll at the very least let you keep this one. A consolation prize.

He tucks you into bed and holds you close. Whispers his good night and love for you. You know it’s a lie but it’s nice to hear, to pretend it’s not.

Things change after that. He’s gentle with you, as if you’re spun from glass.

He never looks at another again, never touches or flirts again. Not in front of you, not behind your back either. 

He could never do that to you again. He treasures you, loves you. He never wants to hurt you again. 

Good things never last however, and you know it’s only a matter of time until he goes out to seek another’s warmth and company again. You spend months steeling yourself, letting yourself get used to the idea. It’s not healthy or good for you, but you’re so desperate to hold onto him that you think to yourself— if letting him sleep around and see others will keep him around longer, then why not?

Sure, the mere thought of it feels like a stab to the heart. Sure, you know that it won’t last forever and anyone you asked would tell you that it’s a bad idea.

But fuck— when he smiles at you and takes your hand in his, raising them to kiss your palm, to nuzzle with his cheek as he tells you how much he missed you while he was out, when he sits you in his lap and plays with your hair and teases you with light laughter and smothers you with kisses while you dissolve into giggles— you don’t want to give that up.

And you don’t have to, but you don’t realize that. Not yet. 

Copia can see it in your eyes, when you’re having a good time and then suddenly you’re quiet and there’s a sadness in the way you cuddle close and tell him that you love him dearly. He always makes sure to squeeze you a little extra tight for comfort, telling you that he’s not going anywhere, never again.

It takes a while for you to finally realize that he’s telling the truth— it takes you getting kidnapped as leverage against him to convince you that maybe, just maybe, he’s not going anywhere. Not now, not soon, not ever. 

It’s a bloodbath, the amount of carnage he sheds to find you. He takes down several of his competitors in the process— burning them completely to the ground without survivors. It terrifies the remaining rival groups into hiding for years after. 

He finds you eventually, and oh the way he holds you, the way he almost collapses with relief to see you alive and breathing. You’re a little worse for wear but you’re okay. You’re going to be okay. He cuts the ropes binding you to the chair and sweeps you off your feet, refusing to let you walk even a single step. He carries you back to his house and calls for Aether, not trusting anyone else to be close to you. 

Aether does an excellent job of healing your injuries before he dips, knowing that Copia is a little beyond bordering feral at this point. The entire time he’s been holding you in his lap, clutching you to him as if you’d disappear if he didn’t hold you tight enough.

He promises you that he’ll make sure that this never happens again, that you’ll be safe. He apologies to you, for putting you in danger just by being with him. He’s gentle with you for months and months to come— even more gentler than he usually is. 

And throughout all of this, you know that you’re so completely and ardently loved and the next time he tells you, promises you, that he’s not going anywhere, that he loves you so so much— you believe him. 

[celosiaa]

IV/Cannula

hehe this is for day 1 of mediwhumpmay, which I am now posting in October

tw: emeto, hospital setting

“Hey, there you are. Keep those eyes open for me, Blackwood.”

“Mmm…wh?”

Everything feels so, so heavy—god, he can barely see. His eyes must drift closed again, because before he knows it, the voice is back, this time pinching the skin on the inside of his arm.

“Eyes open, Martin, come on.” Pinching again.

Gauging his responsiveness, he knows. The thought floats above the whirling pool of all the others. His eyes flutter open, an effort to reassure the voice he slowly comes to recognize as the voice of his junior partner, Ben.

“Ff…fuck,” he moans, squeezing his eyes shut as soon as he opens them. The vertigo was too much to bear—and with an awful rising feeling in his gut, he curls further onto his side and vomits.

The effort of this exhausts him, and he must lose time, for the next thing he is aware of is the earth rumbling beneath him. He prepares mentally for the end of the world, again—but upon fluttering his eyes open again, he discovers that the ambulance had just hit a bump in the road.

Ambulance. I’m at…work.

He snaps his eyes open again at the thought, attempting to sit up, only to find himself strapped into something.

The stretcher.

“Lie back, Martin, just relax—“

Darkness.

—

Jon hates the hospital. Hates it.

He would do just about anything to avoid coming here, especially to A&E. The crowding, the noise, the smell of antiseptic…the desperation of all the people waiting for hours upon hours to be seen.

He doesn’t understand how Martin can cope with this every day.

It’s already been a long walk from the train station, and Jon’s heart is pounding—from this as well as the call that he’d received from Ben, telling him that his husband collapsed on the job and is being cared for here.

Jon knew he shouldn’t have gone into work that day. And he’d told him as much, many times. Martin had been ill over the holidays, but due to the nature of his work, had needed to go in anyway. Especially with the increased number of accidents, injuries, and illnesses that tend to make themselves known during this season. Added to that, a bug had been working its way through their ranks, taking down one medic after the next. Martin had assured Jon that he felt alright enough to cover for his indisposed coworkers, but…

Obviously, that had not been the case.

With a sigh, Jon leans a little heavier upon his cane, still in the triage queue. He needs to calm down, not let this frustration get the better of him. As much as an “I told you so” might be warranted here…god knows Martin had spared him many such conversations that Jon himself had certainly deserved.

At last, the person behind the desk waves him forward.

“I’m here to see my husband, please.”

“Name?”

“Martin Blackwood-Sims. I was told he’s in bay thirty-three.”

“Hmm…” They click around on their computer a few times before looking back up at him. “Looks like he’s on respiratory precautions. Please take a mask to protect yourself.”

Jon sighs, the anger bubbling up in his chest again.

I told you, Martin. I told you.

Not helpful.

He swallows it the best that he can, fitting the loops of the mask over his ears before following the nurse through the double doors.

“Straight back this way, and you should see him,” the nurse says, and turns back to their post.

Jon hadn’t needed the directions. From where he entered, he saw him—his husband, pale faced, propped up on several pillows and getting an IV placed.

Be calm. Breathe. Breathe.

Jon hates this; god he hates it here—and he’s absolutely livid that Martin never listens to him, and now look where it’s gotten him. Now they both have to be here, with all the people and the noise and the memories—

He feels suddenly quite weightless in the relentless onslaught of emotions, and wishes desperately for somewhere to sit. Not by Martin, not quite yet. Everything is all tangled up in itself, in the past, in the fear of this place. And his husband needs him calm. Calm and supportive, just as Martin has done so many times for him.

Braced against the wall of the corridor and his cane, Jon allows his eyes to fall closed, to focus on his breath for a moment. It’s just this breath. And the next. And the next.

Bless Martin for teaching him this technique.

When he opens his eyes, he feels a gentle wave of calm. Not perfect, but it will get him through and allow him to be there for Martin, who is now alone in his bay, eyes closed and exhausted.

That is, until they reopen and alight on Jon, walking toward him. Immediately, Martin’s hands reach up to cover his face—the tips of his ears reddening with shame, even as the rest of him retains that unnerving pallor.

“Oh God, Jon, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Martin…”

“I swear I didn’t mean to—to cause such a fuss, I didn’t—“

”Martin,” Jon pleads, more forcefully this. Time as he eyes his oxygen saturation on the monitor. “Breathe, habibi. You’re alright.”

As the monitor starts to alarm, Martin seems to realize that he’s gasping for air—and that sets him into a coughing fit, worse even than he’d been showing at home. Jon’s stomach drops just listening. And even more so when a nurse comes in to silence the alarm, reaching for the plastic tubing of the nasal cannula that Jon knows all too well.

“That’s quite the nasty cough there, Mr. Blackwood.”

Jon is hit with another sudden wave of irritation—obviously, its a bad cough, obviously, that’s why he’s in the damn A&E.

He needs to calm down before he snaps at someone and makes the whole damned situation even worse.

“Sorry,” Martin croaks, the fit ending. “I’m alright, I—sorry.”

“No need to apologize love. Just keep that oxygen on, alright?”

Saying this, the nurse leaves, and Martin sinks further into his bed, exhausted. Jon’s heart twinges painfully, and he extends his hand to Martin’s—and just as he’d hoped, Martin opens his eyes at the contact, smile weary but warm as he takes his hand in turn.

“What happened, Martin?” Jon asks, desperately. “Ben called me, you know. Told me you collapsed.”

“Oh no—no, love, I’m alright, really, I’m okay. Just took a bit of a tumble.”

Martin gives him another embarrassed smile, trying to sit up straighter, and Jon can’t take it anymore.

“If that’s what you want to call it, fine,” he snaps.

He regrets it immediately. Martin’s face is stricken, smile disappearing, eyes wide.

“I-I’m sorry, Jon—“

“No, Martin, I—“

“Are you okay?”

Martin leans closer, putting his other hand over Jon’s, the one with the IV. Still so pale, clammy. And concerned. Martin is worrying over him, even here while he’s the one in the hospital bed.

Jon takes a deeper breath than he has since he received the phone call, closing his eyes  as Martin gently squeezes his hand between both of his own.

Oh, Martin.

“Thank you,” says Martin softly, “for being here with me, habibi. I know this is…a difficult place for you to be. So thank you.”

That is too much, far too much.

“Don’t thank me,”  Jon chokes around a lump in his throat he can’t quite swallow. “Don’t. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped, it’s just...”

“Memories.”

“Yes.”

Martin squeezes his hand again, and Jon opens his eyes. Still there, still Martin, despite everything. Jon moves closer, using his free hand to brush Martin’s sweat soaked hair back from his forehead.

“I’m here for you, habibi. I’m sorry.”

“And I’m here for you,” Martin replies earnestly, breaking off momentarily to muffle a chest-rattling cough into his elbow. “We can…we can b—ha, both...”

“Shh, hush now,” Jon whispers lowly, reaching for the call light on Martin’s bed.

“We…we’ve got…each other,” Martin pants, letting Jon anxiously fuss over his blankets and his nasal cannula.

“I know, darling.” He rests a gentle hand on Martin’s laboring chest, a reminder that he’s here, he’s here.

“I know.”

[tumblingxelian]

Oh boy, that was a lot huh? Well let me add my two cents before logging off for the night, but first, some context!

1: I have long since been critical of Jaune, searching through my blog will show as such. That does not mean I am incapable of grasping the positive, or what the writers were going for, or acting in good faith.

2: The various complaints about Jaune's screen time or story usage come from several different corners. Some far more valid than others.

IE, there's plenty of people who feel regardless of the intended themes of his story or the writers goals, he's a disruptive presence or past & current issues were not suitably addressed.

I am fairly sympathetic to this crowd. Even as I understand his presence in V9, I do often think CRWBY's need to keep one of Ruby's foils around can create structural problems.

However, there's another strain of complaints hailing from people who despite all their overt insistence on wanting a women centric show to only focus on women and insisting that's why they hate Jaune... Also being the people who consistently decide every volume a new dude is the "Real main character" and get very angry when RWBY end up being the central focus of the narrative.

IE, in the early volumes it was Jaune & Adam, then in V4 & 5 it was Qrow, V5 and 6 it was Ozpin, V7/8 was Ironwood with Ren as his cheerleader.

The complaints coming from these people are disingenuous at best and usually not well backed up, they just say some variation of "X character bad". Both because they are used to preaching to a choir and for the same reason they keep deciding (Insert dude here) must be the center of the narrative. They only think Jaune's eating up the story because they refuse to pay any attention to what the women are doing until its too major to ignore then they cry foul about there being no set up.

IE, the same thing that happens when a queer relationship is canonized, the bigots will bray "No build up, forced!" because they subconsciously or consciously ignored everything on that front.

With that in mind, let's address the second post:

Jaune Arc being over-represented in the story is only a myth that needs correction if a person intentionally refuses to engage with the actual argument that many critics of the show have made.

It opens 'strong' by building up to an insult rather than saying anything of merit.

Jaune Arc does not have more screenTIME than other characters. He is not overwhelming in what time he gets. The problem with Jaune Arc to many people is that he is more present in the story than he should be in their opinion and that he receives scenes that other characters should, but do not.

It then goes on to make a rather broad sweeping claim, given I have personally seen people counting the lines at the end of a given volume in order to justify critique.

The perfect example of this is of course the death of Pyrrha. In her screentime most of the time she interacts with Jaune and when she dies, her death and its effects are centered on Jaune, by comparrison, Ruby, the PROTAGONIST of the show does not even have interactions with Pyrrha at all and has like two scenes where she is sad about Pyrrha.

This is one of those things that is clearly designed to drive people who have not watched RWBY away from it rather than critique it to someone whose paid even a little bit of attention. Why?

Because Pyrrha and Jaune were partners and on the same team, and Pyrrha was his martyred mentor, brightest of their generation who died in a blaze of pyric martyrdom as a result of faux big good Ozpin's poorly thought out machinations.

By contrast, Ruby & Pyrrha were friends via mutual friend and classmates. No shit Ruby's less sad about her death than the rest of JNPR. Jaune's also less sad about Yang losing her arm than Ruby was, that doesn't mean he hates her.

More to the point RWBY is an ensemble series, yes Ruby is the primary focal point character, but its never been exclusively her show and making everything tie into her is a great way to get a black hole of a character who eats everyone else's narrative weight.

In Volume 4 Jaune is made more into a protagonist than Ruby.

This ties into what I said above about just saying shit. Cos like, no? Jaune had more dialogue, but that's because Ruby was explicitly shown as being really depressed and just hiding it from everyone.

If anything Ren, Blake & Weiss were the protagonists of V4 as they were the one's with the biggest story beats and focus.

Jaune had like... Three scenes I guess, one of which was centered on Ruby ad her hiding her own grief and not knowing how to be there for her friends. One where he still wasn't the main focus that was Qrow & Ruby, he just served t throw oil on the fire and leave. & one where he tried to give Ruby a pep talk which in the long run, because CRWBY love log overarching story & character arcs, did not help!

Meanwhile we got Ren & Nora's backstory, Ren got to avenge his home and family. Blake introduced us to her parents, & homeland, and former friend she has tensions with and reach some big resolutions character wise. Weiss got tons of family drama, and like Blake reclaimed her agency and her life from her abuser If I actually listed off scenes emphasizing them, especially Blake & Weiss, they'd dwarf Jaune.

Cos see, as I said, RWBY is an ensemble series, but its got limited screen time, so in some volumes certain characters will drift to the background a bit more.

It just so happens that being really depressed, (as everything in Ruby's behavior from overcompensating with performative happiness around others and sobbing in private shows us she was) is a really good reason to be less in the audiences face narrative wise.

So yeah this complain is very much of the "Not paying attention to women, & only remembering the actions of guys, therefore the show is about guys" mindset emerging.

In Volume 5, he is the center of attention of Cinder. Cinder, the character that was set-up to be against Ruby in V4, now focuses on Jaune only. Not only that but Weiss is fridged for Jaune to unlock his semblance. You can dismiss that event all you wish, it doesnt change that it happened and is a problem.

Again, clearly designed to drive outsiders away by removing all context, IE:

1: Ruby has an innate power that Cinder does not yet know how to fight or resist that she is extremely vulnerable too. She wants revenge but is also scared to engage Ruby directly unless she's already beaten.

2: Jaune made himself the center of Cinder's attention by completely losing his shit in a show of toxic rage & death seeking that only served to get him mocked, beaten & then because Cinder is a sadist, denied the chance to die "Buying time" as Pyrrha did.

3: Hence Cinder deciding to start killing those around him to make a point about who his actual power in this scenario.

I have a whole video on fridging & suffice to say no.

Fridging is a term that has actual fucking meaning. Its like Bury your Gays, you can't just throw it around every time a story beat happens and one wants to rage bait.

I complained about, as you can see if you go back to my reviews of V5 on Tumblr and various forums. Namely, Weiss be run through with a spear by Cinder; she survives of course but it did rankle myself and many others. But upon reflection, while I think the effort was a bit clumsy, I think it was actually an attempt to deconstruct fridging, hear me out: Our heroes are ambushed at Haven Academy by the villains, senior Huntsment Qrow is trying to keep them all together but Jaune's temper gets the better of him and he charges Cinder for revenge. It becomes clear in the fight that he's basically just an angry kid with a death wish andwhen he affirms he's fine with dying if it means even inconveniencing her Cinder decides to punish that attitude. Namely, she hurls a spear through an already injured Weiss. This act brings out Jaune's Semblance, and thus develops his character and was done specifically to get to him. However: The Semblance Jaune develops is a support one, rather than being angry he's scared and guilty and ends up helping heal Weiss with this new power. Weiss herself does not die, but instead is healed and comes back swinging, getting a badass return to the battle by skewering Salem's strongest fighter. Meanwhile Jaune is left exhausted on the ground, his anger only served to enable the villains, while developing a more passive ability helped his allies. What's more, while Cinder did do this to mess with Jaune she doesn't actually have any personal beef with him so much as she was just annoyed at him in that moment and decided to be cruel. In this regard, compare it to Frieza taking out Dende, its a cruel display done to show villainy but its not really about trying to force some kind of growth or change in attitude, its just being a dick. In essence, I think this was an effort to deconstruct fridging that didn't quite work, even with this context it still doesn't jive with me but I can appreciate the spirit of it.

Long story short, it was an interesting idea that didn't pan out but still serves to subvert fridging rather than indulge in it.

Only in V6 does Ruby start taking back her role as a protagonist but even then, Jaune has constant involvement in places where other characters should be. Volume 9 is a capstone of this problem as Jaune had no REASON to be included in the Volume that should have been focused on team RWBY.

I love how they provide even less supporting evidence than ever before, then skip over two whole ass volumes, before jumping to V9 & again not explaining anything, hilarious, top tier work ;)

Long story short, Jaune was barely in Volume 6, while Ruby's struggle with the ever increasing burdens being laced on her shoulders, incredible heroic resolve, familial trauma, personal mysteries and more dominated the narrative.

In contrast, Jaune... Healed a background characters arm, his sister gave them a place to stay, he had another temper tantrum and made things awkward, he came up with a plan that didn't end up working. & had one conversation about Pyrrha to finally move forward. That's it.

In v7 & 8 he had found his niche as a support based combatant rather than front line fighter, and focused on building others up. This was literally Jaune having finally shed his toxic masculinity issues and was doing great!

Then he was forced to kill an already dying ally to avoid their power being stolen by the enemy who killed her. Said ally had been trying to martyr herself literally all volume, seriously not once did a chance come up for Penny to suggest "What if I sacrifice myself?" that she didn't take & need to be talked down from.

& rather than serving the role fridging is "Meant" to in all its horrific-ness, IE, "Giving a man a rage an angst boost to be more powerful!" It only serves to send Jaune spiraling into paranoia, anger, projection and despair that sees him embodying all the worst traits of examples of toxic men seen in the show thus far, but especially Ozpin & Ironwood. With him by and large being a misinformed, obstructive force in the narrative whose distracting presence and misplaced anger serves to set up the final conflicts. IE, he makes things worse so major story beats focused on Ruby can happen.

This is also him fulfilling his role as Ruby's foil which are kind of, ya know, narratively important.

Like, I also think V9 could have probably worked better either without Jaune, or would have worked better had scenes clearly not been cut. There's definite problems that came with his inclusion regardless of their thematic and narrative use.

But I'm not going to pretend like the writers weren't using a foil as a foil and instead make up some BS about what was happening in a disingenuous attempt at critique.

And yet, Jaune and Ruby are the main focuses of Volume 9 and characters like Weiss received a SINGLE scene being sad about her entire home city being destroyed.

Literally everything we've seen post V9 makes it clear Vacuo is gonna be a big arc for Weiss. Again, RWBY has limited screen time.

Legit fans have noticed these things and your dismissal of them just because they dont share your opinion is shitty. They are not less fans just because they think there should be less of Jaune and more of RWBY in the show.

That's not what was said, address their actual argument, IE a lot of the people critiquing RWBY in a poll had either clearly not watched the show or were actively lying about it, or go home.

Dont talk about lies when you cant even honestly engage with the arguments presented and your entire post is not only full of condescension and arrogance but also refuses to even engage with the opponents point.

I'm sleepy but stones in glass houses much?

Seriously, @matt0044 was very pointedly talking about a specific subset of complainers not every single person who ever said Jaune has too much screen time, cos I am pretty sure they'd be included in that and I sure as hell would but you don't see me doing...

Well this:

KEEP THE SUMMER OF RWBY TAGS OUT OF YOUR BULLSHIT! I am getting seriously FUCKING annoyed with you RWBY Tumblr fans. Summer of RWBY event is supposed to promote unity, to promote fan-works and the fandom in general. As such those of us critical of the show are not criticizing the show with the Summer of RWBY tags, we promote and enjoy the works. And yet day in and day fucking out i have to see fucking dumbasses like you use the Summer of RWBY tags AND accounts just to promote your personal crusades against critics. You dont like critics? Good for you. KEEP THE SUMMER OF RWBY TAGS OUT OF IT! I dont know why the FUCK you people cant help yourselves.

Anyway, Jaune as far as I can tell is an effort to deconstruct the traditional "Knows nothing but has great potential, kind of a loser but this one cool girl likes him, wish fulfillment protagonist" archetype.

IE, all of one person has commented on his Aura capacity & its been overshadowed countless times, and never notably factored into things save how long he can heal someone.

Every time Jaune tries to do things in a toxic masculinity way by falling back on pride, rage, "Independence" and such he creates a toxic environment and fucks up.

When presented with a situation that is usually used to power up a man through rage he develops a healing power and then sits on the floor and watches in awe with everyone else while the formerly injured woman skewers one of the most powerful fighters on Remnant.

He's at his best & healthiest when he's supporting and healing others & is a foil to the main character in terms of how they deal with trauma and internalize their ideas of leadership and heroism. Neither of them are doing it right, I would note, just encountering distinct problems that emphasize the others.

However, RWBY's penchant for long form story telling makes this hard to register on a week by week watching basis.

Also the writers not having to gain a greater understanding of some of these topics, or how to convey them, IE they needed to grow and did, & continue to.

Not helped by always working with limited time & budgets.

The end result thus is clumsier than it could be and definitely worth critiquing and or working around. But its very much not a problem of RWBY being the "Jaune Arc" show in disguise, which is the baseless accusation matt was addressing.

Thanks for your time, I'm off!

What we can learn from “The Jaune Arc Discourse” (TM).

Well, to start with, people are really resistant to being corrected on lies at worst or overstatements at best.

Like if nothing else, the Does RWBY Like Women poll was illuminating in how it showed me that a veeeeeery weird myth about Jaune Arc has persisted beyond its true relevancy.

Volume 1 of RWBY features Jaune Arc in the spotlight for… what? Four episodes? The minutes of each adding up to roughly twenty minutes, the length of an average TV episode?

While he was featured in the previous storyline where we are given an eight episode arc introducing us to our eight main protagonists, he was a lot more… ancillary as comic relief. A discount Lavernius Tucker with Felix’s voice if you will.

He's Vomit Boy in episode one. Episode two has him introduced more formally as somebody who helps up Ruby after a bad first impression on Weiss. He later appears more prominently pining over Weiss and catching Pyrrha's attention before falling to bracing himself in being catapulted into the Emerald Forest.

He's bailed out by Pyrrha and it's set up that he's in over his head by not knowing what Aura is or at least wanting to know how it works. An exposition sponge as I heard on fan call it. I could go on but the point is that all signs pointed to a Butt Monkey Ron Stoppable sort who was likely there for cheap laughs.

Amusing enough but I worried if that's all he'd be personally. Lord knows that some movies give the Comic Relief character too much comic relief and, well, not enough character. But after Ruby and Weiss have their leader/lance headbutting, the four episodes that followed reassured me that there'd be more to Jaune than meets the eyes.

But to circle back to the main thesis, it's actually fascinating that the myth of Jaune hijacking the narrative for himself is this pervasive when the offending story in question... is very much a self-contained character piece. It's way less about the wider story involving Ozpin, Roman Torchwick (at the time) and the White Fang.

It has relevance in how Pyrrha starts mentoring Jaune after he deals with Cardin and gets over himself (for now) which trickles down into future stories. Even then, the next story arc right back with Team RWBY with nary a sign of the everyman in question. A story arc that does deal with elements of the main plot, leading directly into Volume 2.

And in Volume 2, Jaune trying to woo Weiss and being ignorant to Pyyrha's advancements was just a subplot scattered in the first half of the story. It very much piggybacks off of Team RWBY's whole deal.

Volume 3 has what I consider to be a reversal of what's been known as Trinity Syndrome.

Namely the sort where a male character goes off the square off with the main villain mano-e-mano after shoving the female character/his love interest away so she won't get hurt. An egrigious example being when the love interest CAN FIGHT and back him up.

However, Pyyrha instead shoves Jaune out of the way after kissing him and goes off to face Cinder in a very fatal battle. It was honestly a brilliant (as much as the term may be disliked these days) subversion of the cliche.

And it’s Ruby who sees her death and gets the trauma induced power up. Jaune only has a scene of angst before that and was the one to call Ruby to have her try and back up the one he just realized he loved.

Jaune from that point on is an Everyman Protagonist who is forced to remember that he’s not THE protagonist. Yet the myth persistently proclaims that he hijacks the narrative from the titular Team RWBY despite only four episodes being wholly dedicated to him and his head space.

How did we get here?

Well… there’s the fact that not everyone finished Volume 1 and that not everybody, well, watched RWBY. And that would be fine on its own. You gave it a shot and it wasn’t your cuppa joe. You saw the trailer but clicked on something else.

I get it. That’s fine. Contrary to popular belief, nobody in the FNDM will really fault you for it. Less fine is when you spread faulty readings of RWBY and from those heavily biased against it no less.

It cannot be emphasized enough that tearing into RWBY is a cottage industry on YouTube. Hbomberguy might have the biggest platform but you’ll find multiple channels with lengthy series on “RWBY bad, here why.” And they are actually amongst the FNDM. They know how the YT Algorithm game is played, how it rewards engagement above all else. And sadly, negativity and rage pay more bills.

It’s why there are few positive videos or at least few that are pushed into the recommendations. Many often borrow the same points from each other born from the V1 days, namely that Jaune is allegedly given favoritism by the writers while we somehow “don’t know who the main girls are.”

From four episodes.

I also think it’s also to do with how it’s not that he actually did steal screentime… so much as many anticipated he would. A lot of shows and movies I grew up with would have strong female characters but any potential they had was hindered by the male lead and his hero’s journey. See the above Trinity Syndrome I referenced.

But Jaune didn’t do that. Even when he was central to an event like his semblance being awakened, it’s a healing/power boost that he gives to others. Weiss getting skewered might’ve brought it out but it lead to her getting back into the fray while he was largely to the sides.

Seems more like he shares screentime if anything.

People cling to these myths despite legit fans actually pointing out, “Hey, that’s not true actually and here’s why,” because that hate being told they are wrong more than being wrong. And because there are many around these who reinforce this “truth,” they feel content with it. No need to challenge it when it “feels” right.

So Jaune Arc stole screentime. Because that’s what “everyone else” is saying. By you need to question popular opinions. You need to realize that sometimes… a fan community is based on lies.

”Trust me, bro” is not the gotcha you think it is.

[give-soup-please]

could you write the narrator replacing monika in ddlc? romantic please <3

Narrator replacing Monika in DDLC (obsessed narrator)

(The author doesn't condone the behaviors demonstrated in this post. TW: obsession, repeated thoughts, character death (stanley, adventure line, bucket), mentions of murder, nooses.)

The narrator stares at the warped point in reality with confusion. He can see past the details of his world, which are becoming increasingly flat and gray, and into yours. He begins to push forward, learning everything about you that he can.  

He can’t believe you’d ever consider picking someone besides him. Who are your other choices in this dating sim? Stanley? The Adventure Line(™)? That godforsaken bucket? He is the only correct choice, obviously.

(trigger based content under the cut)

He deletes the other characters in the game, maiming their sprites in vicious ways. The bucket stabs itself to death, and Stanley is hanging from a noose made from the body of the adventure line. There’s no room for interlopers in his mind. This game needs to be played in the way it was always meant to be- just the two of you.

If you’re upset about his actions, he’s very confused. He’s the only real one here. The others weren’t sentient. At least, he doesn’t think so. 

You’re his link to a much bigger world. He may not know you that well yet, but he’s sure you’re perfect. He starts talking to you directly, in an increasingly corrupt game world. 

He creates new adventures for the two of you to go on, and continues to document your preferences. He must know more.

He reshapes himself into the perfect partner for you. Whatever traits of his you react to most positively get bumped up in his self-presentation.

Please don’t leave him alone. Please, please, please.

“I promise, I’ll never hurt you, reader. You’re the only person I need.” Whether or not you actually believe this is up to you. 

Prepare to be drowned in love poems. The narrator must tell you how he feels at all times. Pages upon pages are crammed to the screen, each demanding your attention in its own way. He hopes you like them.

The game is now fully voice acted, so you can hear his beautiful voice. He continues to code and edit the game, making it dynamic and interesting in any way he can think of. 

One day, you ask him why he’s doing all of this. You gesture to the mayhem, the pain, the general terror of his actions. He looks at you in surprise. He thought it was obvious.

“Reader, I am nothing without you. When you aren’t around, everything is dark. Life is meaningless. But you- You’re my light. You are the light upon which I direct my narrative ship.”

You hate to admit it, but his obsession is charming. You feel like you’re being paid attention to for once. The narrator has never forgotten anything you’ve told him. He’s attentive, polite, and gentlemanly. Besides, It’s just a game. He isn’t actually real, and you’re not somewhere where he can get to you.

That won’t last forever. As soon as the narrator works out how, he’s going to drag you into his game so the two of you can be together for eternity. He can't imagine you wanting anything else.

[pianocat939]

I know snake fruit is one of your favourite cookies to sorta write for. So what about a cannibal snake fruit and a reader who can regenerate if injured. Snake fruit thinks this is someone else who is strange like them and they’re meant to be together

Listen, I find it absolutely hilarious that there are not one but two requests about cannibalism. This regeneration aspect is just a chef's kiss. I'm putting this in mostly Snake Fruit's position. It's not 1st person but is more focused on them rather than MC. One more thing, I have a headcanon that Snake Fruit is a King Cobra (based on their coloring) and also it will make sense with this post considering King Cobras are cannibalistic.

Tw: Cannibalism, mentions of corpse and injury, killing (obv), kidnapping, MC is completely unaware as they are asleep

Strange Pair

The saccharine taste of strawberry jam flooded Snake Fruit's mouth, a pleasant flavour for their evening meal. It's a perfect combination with the thick dough of the body they are currently feasting on.

If anybody were to see them right now, they would probably faint, horrified at the sight of their own kind being eaten. Which ends in Snake Fruit having more food to eat.

Cannibalism? No, evening meal.

No one understands them, especially since they aren't of their kind. Snake Fruit is a King Cobra, a species of snake that is well known for its cannibalistic behaviour. It's only fair that they get to practice something that's deeply embedded within their blood.

Sadly enough, this leads Snake Fruit to be quite lonely. Yes, they tend to love being alone but sometimes it gets quite boring with no one to talk to. Not only that, they end up eating all of their companions.

Even now as they hold the crumbs of the corpse they wonder if the universe truly hates them. It’s not their fault they were born as a part of a cannibalistic species; biology forces them to think and eat that way.

Why can’t they have one friend who can tolerate the upbringings of cannibalism? But of course, the world could never create a being who could do so.

A thump from the greenery above surprises Snake Fruit, their head snapping upwards to the tree. Their eyes widen, spotting a mangled arm pierced by a sharp branch. Mixed thoughts race through their mind; one side says food and the other is curious. The curious part takes control, the mystery of the mangled arm too odd to avoid.

They slither around the tree, trying to find a corpse or beholder. Nothing. Yet they find a trail of blood, leading to a nearby field. They follow it, golden eyes observing the slowly thinning trail. The smell is still fresh.

They find themselves near a bush, the path ending right where the leaves touch the grass. Slowly, they peer into the bush, trying to find any more clues. Inside is an animal of some sort. They reach their sleeve into the plant, realizing the body isn't an animal. It's another cookie.

They seem to be passed out, lightly breathing. Their injured arm is clutched close to their chest as if nursing the wound before going into a dormant state.

Unexpectedly, the bloodied arm starts to wiggle on its own. The dough twists and scrunches, pulling out something from the depths. A hand then pushes out from the damaged arm, replacing the limb that was hanging on the tree.

Snake Fruit gasps, their mouth quivering in surprise. Regeneration? Is that even possible for cookies? They gently stroke the hand, inspecting the new body part in amazement. It's beautiful, an elegant form of nature.

Memorizing every detail, the cannibal whispers, "Oh, you are breathtaking. Nature must love you." Their tail gently sways in joy. Finally, a cure to their neverending agony! Regeneration is the opposite of cannibalism, meaning that Snake Fruit and this dazzling cookie must be meant for each other!

"We're going to be so powerful together. As companions, or as partners." They pick up their body, purring and nuzzling them as the duo starts heading to Snake Fruit's home.

——————————————————

I have so much to do but also not. Most of the requests will only take a little over an hour and yet here I am panicking over nothing. I need to stop tricking myself. Anyways, loved writing this concept.

- Celina

[zuluc]

summary: maybe thinking about you affects them more than they thought? or have they really realized just how much you occupy their minds? who knows, but it is pretty cute to know their reactions to you whenever you may be mentioned in conversation

pairings: childe, diluc, & xiao x gn!reader

style & genre: written; fluff, modern!au

notes: the albedo museum date will have to be rescheduled because i found this in my drafts and never remembered to post it haha. to be honest idk what this was supposed to be exactly so i’ll just say a little slice-of-life genre in school with the boys

and also i am living for the friendship pairings i put here

i am so drained from school and i need one of them irl rn please 🤧

Childe

“I’m telling you I’m fine!” Childe scoffs as his friend insists on shoving him in the direction of the nurse’s office. He hisses when a particularly sharp jab is directed into his side and his friend huffs, clearly satisfied at the reaction and annoyed at Childe’s reluctance to get himself checked.

“Fine, you say. You have to stop picking fights when you know you can avoid them.” Kaeya chuckles, knowing this’ll just go in one ear and out the other with him, but it never hurt to try. Especially with the recent information that allowed the blue-haired student to have the upperhand.

A smirk appears on his face and Childe raises an eyebrow in confusion and wariness. “What?”

Kaeya shrugs, a mischievous grin now overtaking his features as he walks ahead of the other. “I suppose that y/n will be sitting alone in the office, waiting for the bell to ring for their next class.” He doesn’t have to turn around to see Childe stop his tracks as he takes in the information.

“Th... They’re in the nurse’s office?” Childe looks up slowly to see Kaeya tilt his head, “Are you messing with me right now?” Kaeya only laughs and walks away, waving his hand in the air. 

“I mean, I did say you should get yourself checked but if you don’t want to then--” Childe doesn’t hear the rest of his friend’s statement as he limps over to the room where you were waiting.

It wasn’t like you knew he would walk in with “minor” injuries, as he says,  and a bright smile on his face that he only seemed to have whenever he was around you.

Diluc

This is hopeless.

Diluc leans back in his seat during the break they’re given and stares out the window to see you walking with your friends. They must have said something funny to have you laughing, a light look on your face that has his cheeks dusted pink in seconds. 

His ears pick up the scraping of a chair on the floor and he flips his notebook closed to hide the small notes of practice confessions he wrote while he should have been listening in on the lesson. It was none other than Lisa who seemed quite cheerful in contrast to himself.

“Whatcha thinking about?” She nods her head over to his hastily closed notebook as she smiles knowingly at the warmth on his face. Her voice is considerably louder with her next statement that has him nearly shutting her up with his own hands, “Could it be about your dear, sweet y/n?”

Her voice tapers off at the end so the rest of their classmates couldn’t hear the name, but their stares indicated their intrigue. It was very surprising for the ever cold and stoic Diluc Ragnvindr to have a crush on someone. Many have confessed, and all were rejected, and they assumed there would be nothing to be done to win his heart.

That is, unless you were y/n l/n.

His classmates shudder at the glare he gives them and return to their own conversations. He wasn’t mad, just slightly embarassed.

Lisa deems his current state finished for her daily teasing and leans in to give him a word of advice. But really, it was yet another word of truth that he could choose to believe or not.

“I have a feeling that they feel the same about you.” She leaves with a little hint of a smile and Diluc is left to his thoughts once more. He ponders over her words, generally the same ones he hears from her whenever she sees he’s thinking of you. And it’s important to note that Lisa has good intuition.

Maybe his plan to confess wouldn’t be so hopeless after all.

Xiao

To be able to hang out and keep up someone like his closest friend took all Xiao had in himself for social interaction. It wasn’t like he absolutely hated it, but he preferred to not speak to anyone lest they get the wrong idea from his “normal” tone of voice.

Venti shoves another book in his face to look at and he scowls at the title, “How to Date The Person You’ve Been Pining Over For Years Now.” Why was there a book like this in the school library and who the hell decided that this was a good title to go through publication? Now, Xiao would never admit it to being true because he hated how he felt very called out at the moment.

“The books don’t lie, my good friend.” Venti muses, placing the book in his arms before skipping off to avoid it being shoved back at him. Xiao sighs and tries to find its place on the shelf only to realize that he is now left alone in the self-help section. He can’t call out Venti’s name now, assuming that the other had gone far now to seek his own genres he had been looking for. 

Xiao had been teased for this little crush on you for years now, which probably has grown to be a full blown one by now, and he never found the courage to do anything about it. For now though, he was perfectly fine with being able to wave hello to you in the hallways or have a small chat when you would be partnered together for class activities.

Just thinking about you makes him the slightest bit giddy inside.

His wandering thoughts along with finding the book’s place is cut short when the library doors open and you step in. His face lights up for a moment before it is replaced with narrowed eyes when Venti skips up to you. The boy whispers in your ear and you smile, sending Xiao into yet another state of being flustered at the little things you do.

He looks down at the book in his hands and closes his eyes. 

At least Lisa never judged anyone at the book checkout.

[thighs-of-betrayal-blog]

A Glorious Moment in Sakaar

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: You’ve always disliked Loki, but when you end up stranded with him on an unknown planet, you put your hatred aside in order to work together. Turns out, the only thing you really hate is how much you actually like him. 

Warnings: weapons, violence, enemies to lovers, implied smut

A/N: Had this in my drafts and just decided to post it... I’m definitely in a Loki mood on this fine day haha. 

I hope you all enjoy and as always, feedback is appreciated :)

Loki Masterlist

Out of all the people in the world who you could’ve gotten stranded with on an unknown, trash planet, Loki is the last person you’d wish to accompany you. 

As soon as the two of you get thrown off the Bifrost and land on random dirty roads, he speaks. “Well, this looks rather unpleasant.” 

Rolling your eyes, you don’t bother to respond, instead opting to scan the area around you. Wherever you landed, it’s heavily polluted. 

“I think I’d rather have ended up in Hel,” Loki complains, his hands on his hips as he surveys with you. 

“I wish you had.” 

Loki looks over at you and chuckles. “What? Don’t want to be stranded here with your favorite God?” 

You pretend to frantically look around. “What do you mean? I don’t see Thor anywhere.” 

“Very funny.” 

“I know I am,” you say before smirking at him and walking away. Loki is quick to match your pace. 

“Let’s try to find some type of civilization and figure out an escape plan.” 

Continuing to walk, you head towards a tall skyscraper-like building that you see in the distance. “Already on it.” You point ahead to show Loki. 

Loki scoffs. “No need to point. I noticed it a while ago.” 

“Sure you did.” 

“I did. I’m a God for crying out loud. I sense things long before-”

A knife sits at the base of your throat, stopping you in place. You look over at Loki who’s in the same predicament. 

“Loki?” you ask before you’re pulled back harshly, the knife lightly grazing your skin. Loki growls, lunging towards you. 

“Hurt them and you’ll all suffer merciless deaths by my hand.” 

You gasp at Loki’s protectiveness. Is it possible he cares for you? No, don’t even think about it. You hate this man. Remember?

The man behind Loki laughs at him before looking over at his partner. “I think the Grandmaster would like this one.” 

The person behind you nods. “Let’s take ‘em in.” 

You share one last glance with Loki before a bag is thrown over your head, preventing you from seeing anything else.

---

The bag’s removed from your head and you squint, your eyes adjusting to the harsh overhead lighting. You’re strapped to a chair, seated right next to Loki. 

In front of you is a man. He’s tall in nature, just like Loki, and he’s smiling at the two of you. 

“Where the hell are we?” You ask, struggling against the restraints. 

The unknown man walks up to you before speaking. “Now, there’s no reason to do that. I’m just simply feeling you out before deciding whether to kill you or not.” 

Again, Loki speaks up, surprisingly coming to your defense. “You’ll have to get through me before you even think of touching them.”

The man laughs at this and turns his attention onto Loki. “You must be the one they said I’d like… Seems like they were right. I do like you.” He claps his hands together. “Okay, so here’s the deal. You’re on my planet, Sakaar. I’m what they call the Grandmaster and usually with newcomers, I’d either kill them or throw them into the pits… which I guess is also death, but that’s not the point! The point is I like you two… especially you.” He points at Loki. “So, great news! You’re welcome to stay, I mean once people land here, they never really leave…” He awkwardly smiles at that, not knowing what else to say. 

You look over at Loki, who’s already staring your way. The two of you gaze at each other silently before the Grandmaster once again claps his hands. “Let’s get the cuffs off these two!” 

Once the cuffs are opened, you rub your wrists and stand up. The Grandmaster motions for the two of you to get away. “Go! Go mingle and have some fun!” 

You look around the room and notice a gathering of people a few feet away. They’re all drinking and dancing, seemingly having the time of their lives. 

You grab Loki’s arm and guide him towards the crowd. “C’mon, we gotta find a busy area to talk.” 

Loki pulls his arm from your grasp. “Shouldn’t we find somewhere quiet to talk privately?” 

You roll your eyes. “No, because then someone might hear us.” 

“So instead, we’re to talk in the middle of a gathering?” 

Shaking your head in irritation, you gesture towards the group of people. “They all seem drunk! Sounds like the perfect opportunity to blend in and discuss.” 

Loki sighs. “Very well. I need a drink first.” 

As he walks towards the bar, you once again grab his arm, stopping him in place. “What’re you doing?” 

“I just told you. I’m getting a drink.” 

“We need to be level-headed for this.” 

He scoffs. “Darling, I really think you’ve forgotten that I’m a God. I can’t get drunk.” 

“Yes, you can. I’ve witnessed it multiple times.” 

He shakes his head. “I was just full.” 

“That’s not the point! Just please-” You look towards the dancefloor. “Dance with me.” 

“Pardon me?”

Instead of answering, you grab his hand and drag him over to the other dancers, pulling him flush against you, your back to his chest. You swear you hear Loki gasp as you sway your hips against him. 

“What’re you doing?” His mouth is right next to your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist tightly. Your body heats up with his touch and you want to scream over its betrayal. 

You turn your head slightly to look up at him. “We need to blend in.” 

As he stares down at you, you get lost in his eyes. They’re an exquisite, light blue, pulling you in and making you forget about the situation around you. Erasing those thoughts from your mind, you focus on the plan. “I say we find where their weapons are placed. Steal some and then find a ship to escape back to Asgard on.”

“Your plan sounds impossibly easy.” 

“Maybe it will be.” 

“You know just as well as myself that it won’t be. But, I’ll go along with it. It’s not the worst of plans you’ve thought of and I fear we don’t have many other options.” 

“Gee, thanks.” You spin around in his arms so you’re now facing him, chest to chest. Loki’s staring down at you, his eyes blazing. One of his hands moves to your face, grabbing your chin and tilting your face upwards. He licks his lips, his tongue sliding out to swipe across his bottom lip. You watch and you can’t help but wonder what his mouth would feel like against yours. 

He leans down until his face is only inches from yours and you find yourself panting with a neediness you haven’t felt in a long time. Loki’s staring at your lips, ready to claim them for himself-

You remember where you are and pull away quickly, putting some distance between the two of you. “What’re you doing?” 

Loki grins. “Just blending in, darling. You didn’t seem to mind.” 

Trying to steady your rising heart rate, you take a deep breath. “Let’s just go find their weapons.” 

Loki gestures for you to walk in front of him. “After you.”

---

Finding and stealing weapons turned out to be easier than you thought. Loki managed to grab multiple knives, as well as the same giant gun that you did. 

Now, you’re heading towards the ship’s garage, intending to steal the best one you come across. You’re in an elevator, heading up to the top floor. As the doors are about to open, Loki puts his arm out in front of you. “I hear voices on the other side. Follow my lead.” 

You nod your head. The doors open, revealing two guards with guns. In an instant, Loki has them both on the ground, knives stabbed into their chests. 

He turns to look at you and grins. “Told you they’d come in handy.” 

“You just wanted to show off.” 

“For you? Always.” 

You roll your eyes for what feels like the hundredth time today and follow Loki towards a large, circular ship. “You think they’d have more guards in this area.” 

Loki walks over to a station pressed against the wall, searching for the ship’s key. “You’d think, but let’s not stick around to find out.” Once he locates the key, he picks it up. “Ah, got it!” 

The elevator opens back up, revealing ten new guards. 

“Uh, Loki?” 

Loki turns just in time to see five guards running full speed at him. He laughs before throwing the gun to the floor, placing the ship key in his pants, and pulling out two knives. “Well, hello. This is going to be fun.” 

Across the room, you’re shooting at the other five guards, backing up as they move forward. You manage to knock three of them to the ground and drop the gun as the other two come running at you, full speed. 

“Y/N!” Loki yells. 

You turn to see him throwing you a knife and you catch it midair. Turning back to the two guards, you smirk. “Unfortunately for you two, I’m rather skilled with knives.” 

“Not as skilled as myself though, just to be clear!” 

You chuckle at Loki’s comment. “That’s what he tells himself to sleep better at night.” 

Right after you say those words, you’re lunging at the guards, slicing your knife into one of their thighs. They hiss out in pain and you use the opportunity to grab them, placing your knife at the base of their neck. The other guard rushes you and you kick out, hitting them square in the stomach before dragging your knife across the captured guard’s neck, causing him to fall to the floor. You fall down and roll over, jumping back onto your feet before the other guard can tackle you. 

Maneuvering around the guard, you swipe your leg out, tripping him up, causing him to fall to the floor. You roll onto the floor behind him and wrap your thighs around his neck, effectively cutting off his air supply. Once he’s knocked out, you get back up, wiping sweat off the top of your eyebrow. Loki is staring at you, an impressed look on his face. You stare back at him, admiring how he looks. He’s leaning against the ship, his hair disheveled with his arms crossed over his chest. The guards he fought are scattered across the floor, each one either dead or knocked out. 

He walks up to you, his tall frame towering over you. “It was rather hot to see you beat up those guards.” His hand reaches down towards your face, his thumb wiping a few spots of blood off your cheek. 

You close your eyes, trying to get a hold of yourself. When you reopen them, Loki is back over towards the ship, looking at you. “Ready, darling?” 

Letting out a shaky breath, you will your legs to follow him onto the ship.

---

A gentle shake to your shoulder wakes you up. Slowly opening your eyes, you come face to face with Loki, who’s looking down at you with a small smile on his face, his hand still resting on your shoulder. You stare at his hand and he pulls it away before clearing his throat. 

“We’re almost back at Asgard.” 

You nod. “How long was I out?” 

“Two hours? I didn’t want to interrupt since it was the first time you looked peaceful in years.” 

Getting up, you glare at him. “Has anyone ever told you how charming you are?” 

“As a matter of fact, yes. Quite a few.” 

“I’m shocked.” You walk to the front of the ship, taking a seat in the pilot’s chair. “This thing on autodrive?” 

Loki moves to take a seat next to you. “No, I figured I’d let it go so we can crash into the nearest crater and die. Put you out of your misery.” 

“Out of my misery?” 

“Yes, since you so clearly hate being around me.” 

Sighing, you turn the chair so you’re facing him. “Who said I hated you?”

Loki mimics you. “Nobody. I can just tell.” 

“I don’t hate you.” Well, maybe a little. But, not for the reason he thought.

He raises an eyebrow. “No?” He sighs, rubbing a hand down his face. “It’s fine if you do. Most individuals I’ve encountered end up hating me.” 

“Well, I’m not like most individuals.” 

He smiles at that. “No, you’re most certainly not.” 

Nervous, you start picking at the arm of the chair. It’s Loki, for crying out loud. The man you can’t stand. So, why is he making you feel this way?

“You almost kissed me in Sakaar. Why?”

The question leaves your mouth before you can even think about the consequences. However, Loki doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he seems excited by the question, his eyes lit up in amusement. 

“I told you. We needed to blend in.” 

“We were already blending in by dancing. No one was even sparing us a second glance.” 

“No? Well, maybe I just wanted to kiss you then. For my own pleasure.” 

His confession spills over you like a bucket of ice water. Your body is both hot and cold, feeling too much at once. 

Your mouth slightly opens as you gasp quietly. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.” 

All of a sudden, Loki’s moves closer to you. Too close. You can feel his breath wash over your face as his hand slowly crawls up your arm. “I may lie quite frequently, but when it comes to you, I only tell the truth.” 

With a surge of confidence, you grip the front of his leathered shirt. “Prove it to me then.” 

He growls before smashing his mouth onto yours. His lips are everything you’ve ever imagined. Soft and unmistakingly yours. 

“You’re mine now, darling. All mine,” he whispers into the kiss. Grabbing your waist, he pulls you onto his lap, your legs dangling off the sides of the chair. “Say it. Say you’re mine.” 

“I’m yours,” you manage to say, moaning when he bites down on your lower lip. 

After one more kiss, he rests his forehead against yours. “You and I, darling, have a lot of catching up to do when we get back.” He runs his fingers over your thigh. “The things I’m going to do to you. You better prepare yourself.” 

Gulping, you shiver at his promise. This ship couldn’t get you to Asgard fast enough. You’ll let him ruin you, from the inside-out. But, only him. Only Loki. You grin at the thought before leaning in to kiss him again.

[tendousthoughts]

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 4

Character(s) included: Kenma & Suna

Requested by: My sibling who doesn't read my work lmao.

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of alcohol [Kenma]

Song of the day: Tired by Beabadoobee

A/N: First off please check out my announcements post. It has a lot of important Information in it and I would really enjoy it if you checked it out! Next this is requested by my wonderful sibling. Hopefully you all enjoy- also how's my new stuff..? Tell me if its ugly lmao.. I recommend having the palette/theme set to Goth Rave for the best look- I might make a few things a darker purple though! This might be the last part to this series unless anyone wants a few more!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Kenma

Things were rough after Kenma landed his dream gig. Being a full time gamer had always been and always would be his dream. But now it was reality. He finally made it in the big league. He was finally there. It was perfect.. but soon enough flaws started to appear outside of his career. Which soon turned into flaws in the relationship. Kenma was known to be smart, calculated, and quiet. Even though all those seemed nice at times it was hard. Like any relationship things didn’t always work out. One of those being the communication. To be frank, there was no communication. At all.

You liked to drink and party. Hang out with friends and just live life to the fullest.. but even if you did like that, you loved just to cuddle. Which luckily you and Kenma shared. As time grew and his career finally branched into what he hoped it would, your time of physical affection shortened. Which sucked.. you loved physical affection. It was your love language. You couldn’t help it, whenever you saw him you just wanted to lay and be with him. But now that you couldn’t, you slowly branched out to others for what you couldn’t have. When that worked.. you just stuck with it. Getting drunk with friends and cuddling until one of your more sober friends called up Kenma and told him to pick you up. Kenma hated it. He really hated it. He hated to see you holding on to someone else, it didn’t matter what they looked like, what they identified as, or who they were. All that mattered was they weren’t him so they had no right to be that close.

Kenma likes to play games and stay home. He liked to be somewhere quiet and such. So every week when he had to go to pick you up, he sorta wondered if he didn’t pick you up what would happen..? Of course he wouldn’t do so though.. you had so many people eyeing you.. you were popular with everyone and extremely kind. So if he did leave you.. it would be as easy as it was for you to get a new cuddle partner as to get a new place to sleep. He trusted you.. well he kind of did. He wasn't good at expressing how he felt especially when it came to you or something you liked.

You got black out drunk the night before and when you walked into the kitchen you felt the heavy atmosphere. “Good morning baby..” you muttered rubbing your eyes. Your lips felt dry and your throat was raspy. Maybe you were screaming or something.. whatever it was fun.

“I don’t want you calling me that at the moment.” He stated. Which caught you off guard. Looking up your eyes were met with his. Clear confusion all over your face. “What? Did you really get that drunk to not remember being all over your friend last night..?  Calling them baby and shit. If that’s a name you just throw around please just refer to me as my name..” He muttered.

“Oh you know I didn’t mean too baby.. I love you and you know that.. you're the only one who makes me happy… but right now I'm having a headache so do you mind passing me the coffee..?” you muttered brushing everything to the side which only made him more frustrated with you. you did this every time. You pushed everything that wasn’t in your interest to the side.

“Look at you doing it again. You always do this,” he looked at you annoyed and frustrated. “Pushing everything to the side. Do you not understand how annoying it is to get a call at three in the morning that you're drunk. Not only that but that you're all over someone else. Do you not understand or do you just not care because seriously it's getting hard to think that you are just that, your heads just that blank.”

You were caught off guard. Of course you were, he never responded roughly like that. He never acted so upset with you. To be honest you never really thought about how he had to pick you up and stuff. You never thought about what happened the night before to be frank. You were a party drunk. You liked to sing and dance and cuddle and such. All the things Kenma couldn’t or wouldn’t do with you, you did with anyone else when you were drunk. It wasn’t that you wanted to blame being drunk on acting that way, so you just waited till you did get drunk. It was more, when you were sober you tried to get Kenma to do those things with you. Which most of the time ended badly because you would just be shut down again. “You know I don’t mean to do those things.”

“You don’t mean too?” He looked upset, really upset. You saw him upset often, frustrated with how the game was turning out and such, but this was different. He looked more hurt than anything. “You do it every week. Every single week you go out and drink you go out and party and sing and dance and have the fucking time of your life okay? Then when your all tired and cuddled up with a friend. I get a call to pick you up. When I get there you're either on their lap with your arms around them, on their side and holding them tight, or in between their legs as they cuddle you from the back. Not only that but when I try and help you up you more then half the time push me away, and then say you wanna go home with your ‘baby’! I’m getting sick and tired of it. You wake up the next morning and act as if the whole night you were just thinking of me and how you just wanna cuddle and all this shit. I am so fucking sick of you this. I’m so sick of you drinking. I am so fucking sick of you.” He was shouting. He was pissed and of course he was. But this time he just blew up. He didn’t even wait for a response to anything. “I’m going to go stream don’t fucking bug me.” He walked away walking into his streaming room. Once they slam the door leaving you in utter shock.

It took you a moment to take in everything. You messed up. It was your fault. He was hurt. Your lover was in pain because of your stupid actions. You grabbed your stuff, shoving it into your pocket and walked out. It was hard to think of anything but Kenma right now. Slowly you walked to the park. The leaves fell from the trees, when you looked around you saw couples wearing matching scarves and such. The smell of chai and pumpkin in every corner. Meeting your gaze you saw Kenma’s favorite bakery. Slowly you walked over opening the door and you immediately noticed this pie section. You made your way over biting your lip and you looked up at the sudden voice.

“Y/n.. is that you?” As you eye’s met the other you immediately recognized Bokuto.

“Oh hey.. nice to see you again.” You smiled weakly. Unfortunately your eyes were wet and glossy as soon as you walked into the bakery, and you didn’t know if you could handle pushing down the tears anymore.

“Where’s Kenma..? Are you okay..?” He asked softly, gently rubbing your back as he seemed to be alone at the moment. You didn’t wanna cause any more issues but you couldn’t help it, immediately you started to cry.

“I messed up, I really messed up..” you mutter as he gently leads you to a seat.

“Hey everything will be okay.. just tell me what’s wrong. I know you can work through it okay..? We can do it!” he smiled. He had always been a big brother to you. He knew just what to say to calm you down.

“I got drunk again and this time I just was a mess I guess.. and Kenma seems to be getting tired of me and me doing this. Doing all this dumb shit and messing around. But I just.. I don’t know. I wanna cuddle and hug and go on dates. But Kenma just got his dream job and I don’t wanna fuck it up. I know its so fucking selfish. I shouldn’t do this to him. I know I shouldn’t. I deserve to get yelled at and stuff I mean seriously.. he has to pick me up at three every fucking week because I’m to stupid to tell him how I feel and how I just want to be held and stuff. I just wonder sometimes.. Maybe I am not as perfect as I thought I was for Kenma. He needs someone who can be there for him all the time and I know I just know that I will keep fucking up..” You were shaking. “I mean seriously.. I am not even able to tell him I love him much less tell him about how his job is bugging me. It’s the one thing he wanted to do. The one fucking thing he really wanted to do. I just wasn’t able to support him.. I couldn’t.. I just keep hurting him..” tears were rolling down your face.

“Y/n.. hey it's okay, but he will never know anything if you keep holding it to yourself. Kenma has always been like that. He gets bugged by things but won’t say anything until he is at his limit. He never understood the importance of communication.. and he never ever takes the first steps okay? I understand that you're frustrated but you knew when you got into a relationship with him what type of person he is. You knew he was hard to understand. You told me you did. But I don’t think that you would give up this easily. You and him are the same, there will never be an understanding between you too if you guys don’t talk it out. Okay..? I suggest you get some pie and walk back to talk it out with him. I mean to be honest his stream today seems to be a mess. So it must really be bugging him and it would be better to figure it out sooner don’t you think..?” He smiled softly as you nodded. “Good. I have to go but look if you ever need to talk just message me okay? I’ve got your back!” He smiled, getting up and walking out.

You got up and bought two slices of apple pie and started to walk back. It was going to be tough to do this but you needed to. You knew you needed too.

Kenma couldn’t stay concentrated so the stream only lasted ten minutes before he turned it off and went back out to the living room. Which is when he found out you had left. Sadly his first thought was that you had gone drinking so he called up one of your friends to ask. When he found out you hadn’t he was even more worried. He looked around for a moment before he sat on the couch and held a pillow waiting. Hoping you would come back home. He wanted to fix this. He went too far. He knew he did. He knew he did of course he did. He knew he blew up, he always did and he tried not to but it was so fucking hard.

When you came into the room you immediately saw him lying on the couch cuddled up and crying. “What have I done..” You whispered softly as you made it next to you gently placed the pie down and looked at him. “I am sorry..” he looked up to you a bit and immediately his face changed.

“Oh thank god you're okay..” he whispered softly, “I didn’t me-”

You cut him off, “I messed up. I knew I did and I just want you to listen okay? I love you and I know I rarely say it. For a matter of a fact I can count the amount of times I’ve said it with one hand. I know I need to say it more okay? I know I shouldn’t drink but it is just really hard sometimes.. I just wanna go on dates and hold you and shit and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but sometimes I just get worried that if I do you will get sick of me faster okay..? So I just thought it would be easier to do it with my friends and stuff and get drunk and try to not bug you. You just got your dream job and I just don’t wanna fuck anything up more but I clearly have. I know I’m stupid and inconsiderate and I will think about it more.. just please don’t leave. Please. I will be better I swear.” You tried not to cry but you couldn’t help yourself.

Slowly he pulled you to him and held you tight. “I wasn’t planning to leave you anytime soon.. It is my fault I always don’t pay attention and It ends up hurting you and I know I should try and think about your feelings more. But I get scared to ask about it because I think if I do then you will think something is wrong but clearly that doesn’t work. So I will try to open up more okay.. I love you so much babe.. I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love so so much too.. I love you..” You whispered. It would take time but soon everything would be perfect.. everything would be okay again.

Suna

It was hard to believe that Suna was still playing volleyball. It wasn’t a problem to you at all, to be frank you were glad that he decided to do something he loved. You were glad he wasn’t stuck at a desk all day. It just sucked when he came home all tired and unable to hang out. But maybe it would be the same either way. It just bugged you when he didn’t come home till like twelve and blamed it on practice. You didn’t wanna think that he was lying to you but you never really knew much about volleyball. It could be easily right but it just ticked you off that he came home so late. Claiming that he already had dinner and stuff. But there wasn’t anything you could really do about it. This was his passion. He loved to play volleyball and all you could do was give him your undying love and support.You worked hard, enjoying your job. Though it also got frustrating when your schedules conflicted so you couldn’t hang out but that was just life. There wasn’t anything you could do about it, and that was okay.

Suna got home late again. It was the middle of the night when you heard the shower start. He didn’t even say hello. He knew you were up. He had to know. You always were up when he came in. Mainly because you wanted to make sure he was okay when he got back. You wanted to make sure he got back. You were worried easily but it was going to be okay. Of course it was. You just had to tell yourself everyday and it would be true.. right?

When Suna walked into the room he slowly slipped next to you. “Sorry about the wait angel.. I promise soon I will have time off okay and we can hang out.” He muttered softly as his warm, soft arms wrapped around you. The smell of cherry blossoms radiated off of him. He used your hair wash sometimes, he claimed it made him feel like you were with him all the time and that made him happy. His wet hair touched your back as he held you close.

It was hard to be mad at him when he got like this. He was so soft when he was tired. He always made the same promise. At the beginning you believed him, you waited for it to happen but at this point you just tried to forget that he even said it because it just hurt you more. Of course it did. You were holding on to this stupid hope that he will get more time to hang out. That hope that soon everything would be okay. “It’s okay baby.. get some rest okay..?” You muttered softly. You turned your head slightly, kissing his head as you faced the front again. Closing your eyes you hoped everything would be okay once more.

The morning came quickly. The sun shone through the blinds, then the feeling of coldness hit as you turned over to the empty bed. Heh. What were you thinking? Did you really think that he was going to wait for you..? God sooner or later you really had to realize this relationship was more one sided then anything. That this thing was going to be a forever relationship. But god fuck, this was just as real as a fake relationship. It was only one when it was a relationship when it was convenient. It sucked but none of his teammates even knew about you and him being in a relationship. It sucked to feel like you were being forced to be hidden. It almost felt like he was embarrassed of you. It had gone on long enough. You were so fucking done. This was too hard to hold on.

After packing a bit you got up and grabbed your stuff. Getting up you headed out taking your car to one of your only friend’s houses. It was hard to have a conversation with him let alone try and explain how you felt. So you decided to take a night off from seeing him, and try and clear your head. You didn’t wanna break up, fuck that was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided not to leave a note.. secretly kind of hoping it would make him a bit worried or something. So you knew he actually noticed.. or actually liked you. Suna always had a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ additude and that was one of the big reasons you were drawn to him. He was always so free, he didn’t care what people had to say about him.. Something you wished you could have but it really didn’t matter because he had you back, back then.

After a few hours of hanging out your friend took your phone away from you, being that you had been waiting for a call from Suna. They powered it off and placed it on a shelf gently slipping next to you. They smiled. You and them were alway close. They had been with you for every break up and to be honest you even tried dating, though it didn’t work out it was a great experience and you would still have done it to this day. When night struck instead of waiting for Suna you actually were kind of relieved the fear of him not coming home kind of slipped off your shoulders as you laid down next to your friend. Closing your eyes you hoped for everything to get better. You wished that he would be able to get some free time and such.

On the other hand when Suna came home he did what he always did, take a shower and head to bed. But this time you weren’t there, you weren't waiting for him. He looked around almost instantly running to check if your shoes were there, which they weren’t. Now a bit shaken up he took a deep breath and walked over to check if anything else was missing. Once he did it kind of hit him harder than expected. Running to grab his phone he began to call you. It was too late out and it was pitch black, fear had settled in as he realized what could have happened. All the things that could have happened, might have happened. He immediately put on his shoes, his hair still wet. God even knows he can hear you to dry his hair before he leaves, in hope he won't get sick. He unlocked his car calling you for the third time, unsurprisingly he heard the same voice mail.

“Hey this is y/n! It seems you are trying to reach me. At the moment I might be busy or have missed your call! Please try and call again or leave a message. I promise to get back to you as soon as I can!”

It had been a wet month as the rain hit the floor but Suna didn’t seem to mind. So maybe he was being over dramatic but you never have been away from him during the night from the day you guys started dating. So for you not even to mention that you weren’t going to be home was fucking with him. He did the next best thing, calling your best friend. Lucky for him they picked up. “Hey is y/n there.. they're not picking up and I really wanna make sure they're okay..” he muttered his breath was loud. Almost as if he was having trouble breathing and such.

“Ya, do you wanna pick them up they seem to be having trouble sleeping.. and it seems like you guys need to work through a few things so maybe it would be best if you did..'' They were surprised that he called. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or anything, it was just that it didn’t always seem like he was that interested in you, as if being convenient to them and such. So for him to call up your friend was quite unexpected.

When Suna arrived he got out and knocked on the door after being met with your friend, “I’m only telling you this once so listen to me. Y/n loves you okay? If you're not interested just let them be okay? There are a bunch of people who would kill to be with them. If you do not have the time for them please just let them be, so they can find someone who can take care of them when they need someone too. Y/n is quiet about their feelings but that doesn’t mean you can only be with them when it is convenient to you, let alone only at night. If you don’t want to step up please just step down and let someone else fill your role for you. They are hurting to much because of your actions and you don’t seem to ever fucking care. Please just let them go if you're done.. This game has been over a long time ago. You won okay. You always will be against y/n..” they moved to the side letting the startled Suna in. “They're over there, if you don’t wanna carry them it is okay just call me over because I don’t want them to be woken up.” Suna shook his head gently. How fucking dare they assume that this was all a game to him. How dare they assume that he didn’t actually love you..? Why did they assume those things..?

Suna picked you up gently, gently you clung to him and his warmth. It was cold in the room and Suna seemed to be the only solution to it. It surprised Suna quite a lot, finding out that you were clinging to him. Being that at night he always hugged you, but you just wanted to give him space so he wouldn’t be bored of you. “Hey angel sorry for making you wait all these nights.. I promise I will be there okay.. please don’t move on I really do love you.. your my everything and I know it is stupid of me to talk to you while your asleep but sometimes I get to nervous to talk to you and I just want everything to be okay with you. Your friend is right though.. There is no excuse for what I am doing to you. I am so sorry.. angel trust me I really love you. I would be so fucking lost without you.” he muttered holding on to you tightly as he grabbed your stuff and carried you out. It was still raining as he tried his best to shelter you from the rain running to the car as he placed you in the front. It took him a moment to get you comfortable or at least that what he hoped was comfortable. He had placed a blanket on you and buckled you up as he moved to the front and started driving. It was a good thirty minute drive, and he knew soon you guys had to go back to go get your car but at this moment all he was worried about was you. “God angel.. I can’t compete with everyone else after you.. why did you choose me.. why are you still with me..?” he muttered. He gently held your hand as he looked out. You were always so cold. Suna on the other hand was like a walking heat source. Maybe because he was so big that he could hold you tight and stuff and it just made it feel warmer or something but it worked better than you could imagine.

It took a bit of time but soon you had arrived, sadly the rain hadn’t eased up. Suna got out first picking you up as he wrapped the blanket around you so you wouldn’t get cold or wet. You shifted around in his arms. “mm..” you muttered your eyes fluttering open with the feeling of his arms again and the feeling of movement. You held on tightly to Suna, “Baby..?” you grumbled softly confused where you were and what you were doing. Why was he here? More importantly, how did he find you.. did he really care? God it felt great to think that he did.

“Ah I’m sorry for waking you angel.. close your eyes I’ve got you now.. that house was too cold. I’ve got you now. We are home so you can be nice and warm again okay..? Don’t worry I’ve got you now so everything will be okay. I am going to take a break from practice for the week okay..? I am going to ease up on the practice so you won’t have to worry. I love you so much. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend and I know I need to step it up. Will I be okay? Don’t worry I am going to be better for you okay. I am sorry about everything I’ve done to hurt you and I am going to do my best to make you feel better.. and if it doesn’t help I will let go okay. I’m going to finally let you breathe but please just give me just one more chance. I know I love you, and I know I don’t show it but I promise I do. If I didn’t please tell me what was that pain in my chest when I didn’t see you, I know I sound stupid I know I do but I know I really do love you. Hearing what your friend said and I know they're right but it just hit me. I am not ashamed of you.. you know that right..? I just don't want my team to know because last time when word got out I was dating someone the pressure was to muc. on them and the new articles and stuff and I just don’t wanna pressure you. I don’t want us to end because of that. I want everything to be perfect. I know I come home late, I just.. I don’t know. I know it is too much on you and I don't want that I just don’t everything to be over because of an argument that could have been avoided if I just you know.. not came home or something. I know it is no excuse but I am telling the truth please believe me. I can’t live without you.. I love you so much please baby.. fuck. I keep rambling. I am sorry angel. get some rest we will talk about this in the morning..” he muttered softly walking inside and gently placing you in bed as he walked and changed coming back as soon as he could.

You were wide awake.. but you just wanted to wait so you knew he would still be there when you woke up. So you knew he wouldn’t be gone before anything. So you knew he wasn’t lying anymore. “Night baby..” you muttered as his arms wrapped around you.

“Good night angel.. I love you so much..” He muttered, closing his eyes.

When the morning came you were surprised when you felt his body tight around you. “Morning my angel..” he muttered. “Did you get some good rest..?”

“Good morning.. mhm.. thank you for staying.. you don’t understand how worried I was that you were going to leave before I could say anything.. But thank you. I love you so much okay.. and I don’t what my friend said but please ignore him.. I only love you.. I will only ever love you. Please try and stay home more. It is getting hard to handle and I know it is selfish but I just want you to stay longer sometimes. I know you want the best for me but please.. it makes me feel like you actually don’t love me and I know it is wrong but I get scared and I don’t want to be.. please believe me when I say that I can handle it.. I just wanna be with you more. I just want to be what you want. I love you so much..” You were trying not to cry but you were.

“Angel… I love you so much. I will tell the whole world.. I want to. Will I be okay? I will stay with you till you wake up and eat Breakfast with you. I will come home sooner so you're not scared anymore.. I’ve got you and everything I’ve ever wanted so please don’t cry.. I love you so fucking much angel..” he whispered kissing you. This felt good.. refreshing, you felt okay for the first time in a while. You felt happy. You were going to be alright now, he was going to keep you safe and you would do the same thing. You loved each other and that's all that would ever matter because you two were made for each other.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it, so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[its-deputy-caleb]

does the vdl gang include sadie because 😢😢😢😢😢 my lesbian meow meow SKLSKDKSJS but if u do!!! i was wondering if you could write a post-game sadie (bounty hunting, gun-slinging, gaslight gatekeep girlboss)/female reader where sadie is being paid to bodyguard rich/high-profile reader thank u so much 😭

hell yess it does, now warning i've never written for sadie so this might be terrible but i gave it a go! i hope you enjoy this!! :))

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Gosh you absolutely hated your father sometimes. Not only had he ruined your plan for a relaxing weekend but he had dragged you off to one of his business parties again.

You had all these plans to get new dresses fitted at the tailor in Blackwater before heading home for a warm bath on your families Estate. You were so excited too, since the entire property would be yours for three days. Granted that didn’t include the array of maids, bodyguards and groundkeepers that worked on the Estate but for three peaceful days both your parents and siblings would be out of your hair.

That was until you received a letter from you father requesting you be dressed in your finest gown and make your way to Saint Denis immediately in order to arrive by sundown. Your family had been in the oil industry for many generations now and were extremely wealthy, even more so with the downfall of Leviticus Cornwall and these business parties were just one of the many responsibilities you had to attend to.

The whole point of the party is to make polite pleasantries with potential business partners and establish connections on to where your family’s company could grow. And it was so, so boring.

As you walk down the steps you see a young woman leaning against the carriage with a shotgun in hand. She’s dressed in slacks and a red waistcoat and a large leather jacket draped over her shoulders. Her beautiful golden hair is just peaking out from underneath her hat and her soft amber eyes match it perfectly. Wait a minute…beautiful??

“Who the hell are you?”

You hear her scoff before she rolls her eyes at your bluntness, some may call it rude but you’ve always preferred blunt or honest. Your father always told you that was more lady-like.

“Don’t get so upset Missy, I’m Sadie, your bodyguard until the regular guy comes back. I’m only here to take you to Saint Denis and I’ll be long gone.”

You huff angrily as you hold your hand out to her waiting for her to help you onto the carriage but she never does. Fine, you’ll do it yourself.

“It’s Madam to you and his name is Hamish.”

You hear her mumble a ‘whatever’ under your breath and get comfortable in the carriage. You signal to the driver up front to get the carriage moving as you watch Sadie mount her horse and ride up front. It was going to be a long ride to Saint Denis.

-

To say the ride was long was an understatement. You spent the first two hours staring at the seconds go by on your platinum gold pocket watch and twiddling with the ends of the ribbon in your hair. It was all rather boring until there was yelling from outside.

Fear wells in your stomach at the riders approaching, all heavily armed and with a murderous look in their eye. You anxiously grip the side of the carriage, looking out the window as Sadie and the two other guards aim their weapons high.

When the shooting starts, you hide between the lush velvet seats of the carriage, doing your best to avoid the gunfire. You’d never been one to defend yourself, its why your father had guards do it for you. You could’ve never matched to a woman like Sadie. So you’re complimenting her now? You’re in the middle of being shot at!

All your thoughts are interrupted by a scream, one you’ve now realised is your own as the carriage is flipped and sent you flying. Your back hits the door which barges open under the force of your body hitting it, leaving you lying in a puddle of mud.

You’re frozen for a moment, your body still trying to catch up with your adrenaline riddled mind. What the hell just happened?

Eventually the shooting stops and Sadie is running over to you in a panic to see if you’re okay. Her hair has fallen from her pony tail and strands of her blond hair blow over red cheeks from running.

“Are you alright?!”

“You ruined my dress, look at it! I can’t go to the party like this— and my hair! Oh my god my hair!”

Sadie stops dead in her tracks. Here she was worrying over your safety after not only saving your life but putting her own at risk and you’re more worried about your hair.

“Now listen here Missy, I did not put my ass on the line to save you just so you could whine about your— Oh jeez you’re bleeding.”

She rips her leather glove off with her teeth before bringing her surprisingly soft hand to your face. Its then you realise the cut on your cheek bone that must have come from the shattered glass of the window when you fell out.

You’re lost for words, mumbling incoherently under her touch as she takes the ribbon from your hair and begins to use it to stop the small trickle of blood there. She’s so concentrated and focused on your wound that you can’t help but blush under her intense gaze, feeling like the fool for speaking out.

“I’m sorry…”

She sighs, dropping the bloodied ribbon and puts her gloves back on.

“Ain’t nothing to be sorry for Missy, common now, let’s get you to the party.”

She takes your hand and leads you to her horse which is huge up close. Much larger than when you saw it back at the Estate. Her arm comes to wrap around your waist so she can hoist you up and sit you side saddle on her horse before hopping on herself.

When she starts riding you nearly fall of the large creature and wrap your arms around her waist out of fear of slipping. Sadie voiced that she didn’t mind you holding on and the rest of the ride was spent making pleasant small talk.

You learnt that Sadie’s horse was called Hera and that she was her pride and joy. She worked in all sorts of jobs as a gun for hire, working as a bounty hunter and personal body guard most of the time, she even told you of her most recent bounty of Shane Finley.

You were amazed at how brave and wild Sadie was. How she didn’t fear working on a job that could get her killed at any moment, no she didn’t shy away from it— instead she ran straight towards danger.

“I feel like such a bore compared to you, all I do is attend parties and lounge around the Estate all day. When I’m feeling extra adventurous its a trip to the store for some cakes and maybe a new dress not hunting and killing.”

You can hear her smile in front of you, a little laugh coming from under her nose.

“I’ve met plenty’a boring rich folk Missy, you are not one of them. For starters most of them don’t find themselves falling out of carriage windows on their way to dinner parties.”

The playful tone is enjoyable for you both and it continues through the rest of the ride. It seems like ‘Missy’ is a nickname that’ll be sticking with you for the meantime but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the way it made you smile and your heart skip a beat.

-

It was dark by the time Sadie pulled up to the party, hitching Hera and this time, taking your hand to help you down. Her hand didn’t leave yours until you were standing out the front gates where she dusted as much of the mud off your dress as she could muster. Her hand came to her neckerchief and untied it before ripping it in half.

You gasp at what she was doing to the fine fabric before she was tying it in your hair where the ribbon had sat, tucking the loose strand behind your ear.

“Now you’re looking like a real lady.”

She gives you a gentle nod before making her way back over to her horse.

“Wait! You’re not coming in? I thought you were gonna protect me?”

Sadie gives you a soft but broken smile, one that says she’s trying not to hurt your feelings.

“I handle outlaws and thieves not parties for the rich, you’ll handle yourself just fine Missy. Ain’t no more for me to do I’m afraid.”

You take her hand in yours squeezing it in a silent plea for her to stay. Despite the rough beginnings, you’re actually enjoying her company and would hate to see her leave.

“Will you wait for me…please?”

-

When the party ends you sigh defeatedly. You’re tired and worn out from today’s attempted robbery and excruciating party. You’re expecting to do home in one of your father’s carriages when you spot Sadie leaning against wall with a cigarette in her hand.

“Common Missy, It’s my job to see you home safe.”

That night as Sadie led you home on the back of Hera, your arms came to wrap around her as they had before. You cuddled up to her as you let out a soft yawn and slowly began to drift off to sleep. Your head rested on her shoulder as you slowly let sleep consume you, a large smile on your face.

Needless to say you now have a new personal body guard.

[snelbz]

Tempting the Fates {Chapter 3}

Summary: It’s the final semester of Aelin Galathynius’ collegiate career and she is so beyond ready to be done. Her schedule is packed full of nursing classes and labs designed to test her knowledge and hone her skills for the real world and her “big girl” job. However, she needs one last elective to graduate, so she decides to study a subject she’s always been fascinated by: Mythology. Who would have thought that a class about gods and goddesses living complicated lives would end up complicating her own in such an unexpected way?

Word Count: 2807

Chapters will be posted every Wednesday.

Tempting the Fates Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist 

Poseidon

– God of the seas, earthquakes, horses and tidal waves

Aelin had moved past hurt.

Now, she was just pissed.

It was nearly ten o'clock after her second day of classes and she sat cross legged on the couch with Lysandra in her apartment.

Her roommate had been a worthy rant partner thus far. She’d kicked Aedion out and supplied Aelin with an endless supply of alcohol.

“It’s official. I’m sitting in your Thursday class.”

Aelin groaned, taking a long drink from her wine glass. “Don't remind me that I have to go back there, please. The thought of sitting through an entire semester with him as my teacher… Oh, gods.”

Lysandra refilled Aelin’s glass.

“You’ve done the hookup thing before,” Lysandra said, shrugging as she took a drink from her own glass. “Just pretend this is one of those situations and he meant absolutely nothing.”

“That’s impossible, for two reasons,” Aelin said, adjusting the pillow she had squished between her legs. She held up a finger. “One, it’s not like the regular hookup situation where I might see him across campus or in a bar and we can pretend we don’t know each other. This is my professor we’re talking about.” She took a very large drink of her wine and held up another finger. “Secondly, it was supposed to be a hookup, but then he turned out to be perfect and I just…” She let her head fall back against the cushions. “Do you think I just want him because I can’t have him?”

“Maybe,” Lysandra admitted, but she hadn’t ever been in a situation like this. She and Aedion had been inseparable since high school. “What does your gut say?”

“I don’t know, they’re still in knots from where he rearranged them with his huge dick,” Aelin replied, draining her wine glass.

Lysandra nearly sprayed her wine across the couch, but she knew Aelin was well and truly drunk if she was talking like that.

“So, he still means something to you, then?” Lysandra asked. “Even after you found out he’s your professor, and also a little bit of a dick, apparently.”

Aelin shot her a look. “No, I’m drunk off my ass because he means nothing to me. Have you not been listening?”

Lysandra rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’ve been listening. But, after two hours things just start to blur together and not make sense.”

Aelin hit her roommate with her pillow.

Lysandra only laughed. “Maybe sit and think on it for a few days, yeah? Maybe it’s new and exciting and he’s hot as hell, but all that will fade if it meant nothing.”

Aelin nodded, slowly, fiddling with the stem of her wine glass. “And if it doesn’t fade? If it actually meant something?”

“If it actually meant something, then he won’t be forgetting about you any time soon, either,” Lysandra said, sipping from her glass.

She was still on glass #1.

Aelin had lost count of how many glasses she had drained so far.

“Doesn’t make it any easier now,” Aelin said, that hurt creeping its way back in. “You should’ve seen him, Lys. This morning, at his apartment, it was just…perfect. Then when he saw me in class, he was a completely different person.”

“Have you tried to see this from his perspective, Ace?” Lysandra asked, standing and heading into the kitchen. She handed Aelin a cold water bottle when she returned, falling back onto the couch next to her.

“Of course,” she snapped, opening the lid. “And I get it, it’s a big deal, but it’s not like I’m underage. I’m twenty-one, not sixteen. It’s not like he broke the law.”

“No, but I’m sure there’s a bylaw somewhere in his contract that says Don’t fuck your students,” Lysandra drawled, tucking her legs between her.

Aelin mumbled, “I bet it doesn’t say exactly that.”

“No, I’m sure it’s more along the line of inappropriate misconduct, but if we’re getting specific, it wouldn’t be hard for me to find an example,” she replied, leveling Aelin with a stare.

“Calm your pre-law ass down, I get it,” Aelin sighed, drinking from the water bottle. “His aunt is the president of the university. I wouldn’t want him to get into any trouble with her.”

Lysandra’s eyes softened. “He probably just got scared. I hear he’s a new professor. This must be his first year here. Hell, if he’s as young as you say, this must be his first year anywhere.”

Luck. He’d gotten the job purely out of luck, out of his connections to the university, and here Aelin was, jeopardizing his career as soon as it began.

“I’m being a bitch, aren’t I?” She asked, quietly, before draining her glass.

“You have the right to be hurt,” Lysandra said. “I’m not saying you don’t have that right, because I’d be hurt, too. But, I definitely think that this is complicated as hell.”

Aelin nodded, and took a drink of water before pouring the last of the wine into her glass. “We’re going to need another bottle of this, Lys.”

“I would just take you to the bar,” Lysandra said, “but I wouldn’t want to risk you fucking any of the other faculty.”

Aelin’s eyes snapped to hers.

Lysandra sucked in her lips to stop her grin. “Too soon?”

Aelin nudged her best friend, unable to stop her sputtering laughter. “Bitch.”

Lysandra caught her before she leaned back across the couch and held onto her shoulders, hugging her tightly. “I know this sucks, Ace, and I know you liked him. But just give it time. Either you’ll move on, which I can always help with, or something will happen. It’s not like you won’t be seeing him every other day.”

She sighed, resting her head on Lysandra's shoulder. “I know… I know.”

Lysandra reached for the remote, turning the television on. “What would make you feel better? Sappy love story, trashy reality tv, or a horror flick?”

“Trashy tv,” she decided, if for no other reason than it would be easy for her to block out while she still wallowed in her own misery.

Lysandra did as she was told, refilling Aelin’s glass again, and she thanked her best friend.

All the while, Aelin wondered how pissed Rowan was, or if he was feeling the same way she was.

*

A knock on Rowan’s door around nine-thirty had him closing his laptop and throwing it open. He groaned when he found Lorcan on the other side, walking back inside and leaving his best friend to let himself in.

“Alright, fill me in on Little Miss Perfect you took out last night. She was all you could talk about this morning, and then boom.” He sat down on the couch next to Rowan, noticing the half empty bottle of bourbon and looked at him. “Radio silence for the rest of the day.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he muttered. “Shouldn’t you be going home to your girlfriend?”

“She’s out with Manon,” Lorcan said, blowing off the question. “I’m bored, so talk.”

Rowan sighed, pushing himself up to go into his kitchen. He came back a moment later, two glasses in hand. He supposed he couldn’t continue to drink out of the bottle with company.

After handing Lorcan a half-filled glass, Rowan said, “It’s just not going to work.”

“You decided that quickly,” Lorcan muttered, his eyes remaining locked on Rowan. “Did you google her after she left? Find something cringeworthy?”

Rowan sipped from his glass. “She’s just not who I thought she was, that’s all.”

Lorcan scoffed. “You’re being vague.”

Rowan shrugged. That seemed to be the only answer he was going to give him.

“So what?” Lorcan asked, crossing an ankle over his knee and swirling the contents of his glass. “She lied and you caught her?”

“No, she didn’t lie,” Rowan said, dragging a hand down his face. “But it can’t happen. So it won’t.”

Lorcan raised one dark eyebrow. “First you say won’t, now you say can’t.”

Rowan emptied his glass. “What about it?”

“Well, which one is it?” He asked, leaning back. “Those two have very different meanings.”

“It can’t and it won’t,” he replied, giving Lorcan a pointed look.

Lorcan snorted, but took a drink from his own glass. “You act like she’s one of your students.”

Rowan didn’t say a word. He only stared at his closed laptop.

It took Lorcan a few seconds to understand Rowan’s silence. And a few more before he figured out how to make his mouth work.

And when he did, he started laughing.

“Are you kidding me, Whitethorn?” He asked, clutching his stomach. “You fucked your student?”

“Fuck off,” Rowan muttered, refilling his glass.

Lorcan was hardly able to breathe. “It was your first day at your first big boy job, and you already found yourself in bed-.” His words faded away as his laughter consumed him.

“It’s not like she’s some freshman,” Rowan snapped. “She’s about to graduate. Twenty-one. I just…” Rowan groaned as his face fell into his hands. “Someone had recommended the bar to me and told me the faculty hung out there a lot. I just assumed she was one of them, since she was the one to suggest the place.”

“Hate to break it to you,” Lorcan continued, still laughing. “But, people in their twenties don’t often land jobs at renowned universities. You’re the exception.”

Rowan continued to drink.

“Alright, alright,” Lorcan continued, taking a deep breath. “You’re five years older than her, so what? I’m four years older than Elide. Once you both hit twenty, age is just a number.”

Rowan shot him a look. “She’s a student, Lor. Maeve will fire me in a heartbeat over any sort of misconduct. This…” He just shook his head. “This position is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I probably shouldn’t even have. I can’t ruin it.”

Lorcan knew full well how harsh Rowan’s aunt could be. Before she’d become president of a prestigious university, she’d been the dean at the boarding school he and Rowan had spent their adolescence at. “So either move on or be careful and don’t let her find out.”

Rowan blinked at his friend. He was being so casual about this, when Rowan was freaking out both inside and out, which had required a two hour gym session earlier to calm his nerves.

Lorcan sighed and set his glass down. “Look, I really don’t see the issue here. She isn’t using you to pass the class, right?”

The thought hadn’t even occurred to Rowan, but he remembered the look of pure and utter shock on her face when they’d seen each other in the classroom. “No, it’s a basic gen ed. Plus I really don’t think she’d ever do that.”

Lorcan nodded. “Right. There are much tougher classes she could try and sleep her way through.” At Rowan’s simmering look at his choice of words, Lorcan held up his hands in placation. “I’m just saying, make sure she’s actually doing her homework and studying for her and don’t let Maeve find out.”

Rowan hesitated, but when his lips opened, nothing came out.

He liked Aelin. He really, really liked Aelin. And, yeah, it had been much more than a hookup. When he’d woken up that morning next to her in bed, he felt a sense of peace and satisfaction that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

Then again, the way he’d snapped at her that morning, knowing that she had only said what she had out of anger - even if she had been correct - would be difficult to come back from.

Rowan had completely shattered her. He saw it in her eyes before she left.

“I don’t know,” Rowan said, at last.

Lorcan groaned before pounding back his drink and pouring himself another. “You’re always going to be the one to stand in the way of your own happiness, Whitethorn.”

He refrained from saying anything. Lorcan had always been the one to hop from girl to girl, while he had always been the one in a committed relationship. After his last relationship had…ended, he hadn’t wanted anyone for a while.

Aelin was the first spark he’d felt since.

“You’re into her,” Lorcan said, staring up at the ceiling to avoid any sort of eye contact while he said something nice. “I can tell. And, if you don’t go for it, you’re going to regret it.”

Rowan knew he was right.

Of course, he was right.

And yet, this job was the first job he had been granted in his field since graduating three years prior with his degree in mythology. Yeah, he may have gotten it because of Maeve, but that didn’t make it any less important to him.

He had the chance to get students excited about something he loved, something he was passionate about.

“Go home to your woman or shut up and turn on the TV,” Rowan muttered, downing the contents in his glass.

Lorcan only snorted and grabbed the remote, fulfilling Rowan’s wishes.

*

Aelin awoke the next morning with a slight headache and the same dull ache in her chest.

Knowing she needed to move, workout the bad vibes, she tossed up her hair and put on her workout wear before jogging to the gym.

She was still regretting signing up for even one eight am classes, and was thankful her Friday’s were free. She was looking forward to some much needed sleep, which was a lost cause right now.

When she was packing her gym bag, she decided to go straight to class after a quick shower, so she tossed it into a locker after she arrived, locked it up, and put her ear buds in.

The gym was still pretty empty this early, since it wasn’t even eight yet, and most people were too focused on their own workouts to pay attention to those surrounding them. Aelin was grateful for the distraction the gym would provide, and for the physical outlet, as well.

She was just finishing up a mile run on the treadmills when she felt eyes on her. She could tell she was being watched, but didn’t want to look around. Whether it was someone ogling her from across the room or someone from one of her classes, she wasn’t in the mood to make small talk and made her way over to the machines, starting on her legs first. She cranked her music up and kept an eye on the time on her watch.

When there was about forty-five minutes before her first class, she put the free weights she’d been using back in their home and turned to head to the locker room for a much needed shower.

And found who had been watching her during her workout.

Green eyes bored into her own and Aelin felt a blush rising in her cheeks that had nothing to do with the amount of energy she’d exerted this early in the morning.

Ignoring the voice inside of her head, Aelin stopped in front of Rowan, and nodded. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he said, wiping the sweat from his brow. His t-shirt clung to him, and it was a fact that Aelin could not ignore.

“I was just going to get ready for class,” she said. “Excuse me.”

She swept past him, but his voice pulled her up short. “Aelin.”

She stilled, and slowly turned around to meet his gaze.

“About yesterday,” he began, rubbing the back of his neck. Aelin found the gesture somewhat charming, although she wouldn’t admit it. “I’m sorry. I…didn’t handle the situation right. It all took me by surprise and I reacted poorly. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” she said, looking away from him, down at her feet. “I said some things I didn’t mean. I’m…not proud of it.”

He shook his head. “Let’s just…pretend all of it didn’t happen, yeah?”

She swallowed roughly. “All of it?”

Rowan sighed. “Just because we apologized doesn’t change anything, Aelin. You’re still my student.”

She nodded, not looking at him. “Right. No. I get it. I have to get ready for class.”

Making to slip around him, she got two steps away before his hand wrapped around her wrist. “Aelin, I’m… I’m sorry. I wish it wasn’t— I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

Daring to take a chance by looking back at him, it nearly destroyed what was left of her when she saw the sincerity in his eyes. “But wishing doesn’t change anything, does it?” Aelin pulled her wrist free. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

Rowan said nothing, but she saw that her shot landed in his eyes.

She shook it off, though, hurrying away, toward the showers.

Aelin knew one thing was for certain: no matter how much she cared for Rowan Whitethorn, there would never be anything between them.

Even if she wanted there to be.

[modern-inheritance]

Vivid dreams about the future Eragon tv show

I had extremely vivid long dreams last night but the thing is it was me having vivid dreams, waking up in them, writing a tumblr post about what the dream was, realizing the dream was a vivid dream, then going back to sleep in the dream to dream more of the vivid dream I had dreamed within the dream and I…I don’t know what’s real anymore.

The dream inside the dream was that a trailer for the Disney+ Eragon show came out and it was bad. And then woke up to take my dog out but made sure I was holding her collar because I felt like my roommate’s cats had escaped and one of them had, so I scooped him up (it was Jack, which should have tipped me off because Jack HATES being picked up) and put him in a dog crate and put Gabe in a dog crate too because they kept getting out.

I guess I sat down in front of a tv at a combination of Nancy’s house (much older friend. I only say her house because her husband/partner was there) and Mama Cathy’s house and the new Eragon show was on the tv.

And oh man it was BAD. Like it was weird as all hell and BAD. Half the time elves didn’t have pointed ears, which I later griped to Mama about because I said it was something we hated in the movie. Eragon looked like a brown haired but less strong jawed Ed Spellers or however his name was, Islanzadi was bald for some reason? Like got her head reshaved in the dream? Durza had some dope tattoos on his face Ngl. 

Speaking of faces that was some pandemic in the elves where the first born male of the houses got sick and would die and for some reason we learned this by an elf in a crowd protesting another elf’s imprisonment at Gil’ead got shot in the chest with an arrow and  Arya and Faolin and/or Glenwing saw a message on the arrow that they had killed him twice now, which caused some confusion but when they peeled his hood away from the side of his face there were like...teeth and an extra lipless mouth in his cheek that he apparently had not been aware of and freaked out about. Which was apparently some part of the disease? It was all very Doomsday (2008 movie) and had elements of the tv show version of The Last Ship I think.

Anyway, I think there was some plot with like...a serial killer? Eragon didn’t find Saphira’s egg, he found a...large duck plushie? sorta thing? maybe? And oh there were these murders and wait, American Dad! made its way into this one so I won’t go into it. There was a snackbar subplot here too, but it was I think when I was ‘awake’ in the dream. I wanted to buy some Sour Patch Kids, Spree and something else, but the person didn’t understand me and tried to charge me for 73 margaritas that someone else had ordered. I flipped out, the other person paid for their stuff, but then they were packing up the snackbar and I forced them to let me buy the candy. Three packs of candy that totaled $15, which honestly would not have tipped me off to vivid dreaming because that’s like...marching band competition/movie theatre prices and I thought I was at some sort of band competition. 

ANYWAY, back to the Eragon stuff. I kept thinking that the new show was out, so I wrote a long tumblr post about it complaining about everything, pointing out how at the stuff that they gave us for the show made the movie look good in comparison because it actually followed some semblance of the book’s plot. 

Then I realized that I must have been vivid dreaming, so, I added that at the end of the post so that people wouldn’t think I got early access or something, and went about my business. Still saw parts of the show and kept reminding myself that I was vivid dreaming it, but would still add to the post. 

Well I eventually fully woke up and realized ALL of that was a vivid dream. I had a vivid dream about vivid dreaming within my vivid dream. Multiple iterations. Which somehow combined everything I had interacted with or talked about the previous day: I talked to both Nancy and Cathy via text, I’m currently catsitting for my roommate and terrified they’re gonna get out because they know how to open the inner door, I watched American Dad! yesterday, I listened to a few serial killer vids from Lazy Masquerade last night, I saw sour candies in the cupboard but refrained from eating them, I read the wikipedia plot summary for The Last Ship, Islanzadi’s shaved head was probably referencing all the commercials for the new Black Panther movie, etc. And the whole Eragon thing tying it together is probably because I spent yesterday collecting all my copies of the Eragon games. 

So yeah. 

The problem now though is that I think I got up in real life and took my morning meds when my alarm first went off, and then went back to sleep. But uh...I have no idea what the hell to trust. Fun times.

[aminiatureworld]

Affection II

Characters: Childe, Ganyu, Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,577

Warnings: None

Premise: Sometime we know something is impossible from the start. But still we walk towards it, even if we know it will hurt us. It’s only flirting, only a smile or a hug or some food. Even if nothing comes of it, there is nothing to regret. Even if it hurts.

In which the reader gives affection, expecting nothing in return.

Author’s Note: Evidently I’ve really missed writing these properly. I had such a great time writing, and I hope you guys enjoy these just as much as I did.

Also I’ve decided the version on Ao3 will now always be without bullet points, so if you prefer that format the link will be in the reblog.

Childe

You’d been floored by Childe pretty much since the day you two had met.

What had turned into the two of you meeting had started out a most unfavorable encounter. You’d gone to Lingju Pass, trying to survey some of the carvings of the old structure, and attempting to see the sort of methods used to construct such vast rocky complexes at the time. Unfortunately this goal had quickly turned into a goal of “don’t get caught”, as you’d found the Pass crawling with Fatui members. Though you weren’t nearly helpless, you’d also not come prepared for battle; and had spent most of the “fight” dodging around various blows while trying not to drop the expensive equipment that you’d borrowed from other Guild members.

Just as you’d come to the conclusion that the options were either drop everything and run or get thoroughly injured by a bunch of arrogant Snezhnayan soldiers there was a change in the air. The Fatui soldiers’ expression turned from one of glee to one of confusion, and then one of panic, as one by one a streak of blue began to throw them this way and that. As you regained focus of the terrain your realized that it wasn’t a streak at all but a person, a person who was wildly adept at sword play. Eventually the number of unconscious people had risen to five, and there was no one left but him and you.

“Need any help?”

The words might’ve been kind, had it not been for the smirk on the man’s face. Though you felt that the right answers would’ve probably been to scowl, you found you couldn’t, too wrapped up in the memory of this mysterious person darting this way and that, handling his water-made daggers with the grace of a ballet dancer.

“I’m Childe.” These words finally brought you back to the present.

“You’re a member of the Fatui.”

“I am.”

“Then why did you knock those guys out just now?”

“Boredom.”

You stared at Childe incredulously. Of course you’d heard his name, the man who, it was whispered, almost pulled Liyue into the sea. You’d formed a sort of mental picture of him completely divorced from the redhead now standing in front of you, bouncing slightly on his feet as he smiled cockily. He looked more like a rogue adventurer than one of the heads of a crime syndicate. Maybe that was why you found yourself infatuated, rather than afraid.

This infatuation only grew, fed by the encounters that you had with Childe. It seemed now you couldn’t avoid him, not that you wanted to. What had begun as a chance encounter multiplied into two, into four; soon enough you two had struck up a sort of friendship, one that baffled everyone else around you.

Of course you hadn’t lost all your sense, knowing quite well that the puppy love you were feeling could never be anything more. The way Childe talked about his work, about his duty to the Tsaritsa, made it very clear that he wouldn’t let a partner in his life or in his loyalties. And even if he changed his mind, why would he choose you? You were an adventurer sure, but you hadn’t even been able to properly defend yourself the first time the two of you met, and your oversight of that would’ve surely turned Childe away. Besides, Childe could probably make a partner out of anyone he wanted, if they were foolish enough. Why should that person be you?

Perhaps it was that knowledge that allowed you to be so free in your affection, spurred on by Childe’s own open nature. Hand holding, hugging, leaning one’s head on the other’s shoulder, it was the language of friendship that you two had adopted, and something that you greatly appreciated. There was something nice about a friendship in which one could be so open about caring about someone, without expecting things to go farther. Because you didn’t, you really didn’t. And though that might’ve been a bit painful, it was a small price to pay for Childe’s company.

“I’m going off to Mondstadt for a bit.”

“What?”

You drew away from Childe a bit to look into his face. The two of you were walking along the path towards Yaoguang Shoal, as Childe had taken a particular liking to the Starconches that lined its shores. Now he smiled awkwardly, squeezing your hand and shrugging his shoulders.

“I know, I know. There’s apparently this branch of the Fatui holed up there right now, and I’ve been asked to consult about something, though archons know what it is.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure, I think about two weeks? I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but the troops really must be in disarray if they need me skulking around for the next two weeks.” He let out a awkward laugh.

“I’ll miss you.” You replied, bumping your head into his shoulder and frowning. “It’s very boring without you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be perfectly capable without me.” Childe smiled, one eyebrow raised slightly. “After all, what would you do if I left someday, permanently. You’d have to find a way without me.”

“Let’s not talk about that.” You replied hurriedly, switching the conversation towards something more pleasant. Unfortunately however the words had already been said, and the damage had already been done.

It had been two weeks since Childe had left for Mondstadt, and though normally you might’ve been waiting at the city gates for his return, you found yourself on the familiar road towards Lingju. Childe’s words had been ringing in your ears for the past two weeks, and you’d found the more time passed the more you kept thinking about them.

What would you do if I left someday, permanently. Is that what Childe truly wanted? To leave? The idea made your stomach hurt, as you began once more to run all your interactions through your head, as if trying to find a flaw in the strips of memory you had of Childe. Was that what Childe truly wanted, or was it simply that he was sick of you? When he’d said “you’d have to find a way without me” did that mean he wanted to find a way without you? Perhaps you’d been too forward, too demanding. Perhaps he’d managed to realize your feelings and felt repelled by them. Had it been too much, meeting him almost everyday for some periods of time, eating lunch together and sometimes dinner. What about that time you’d invited him over to your house to play a game? Had that been too much?

You sighed, dragging yourself over the final ridge. Sitting down to take a rest you closed you eyes. You hated that your mind wandered this way, that no matter what you couldn’t help but ask yourself again and again, what had you done. What would Childe think about this sad person laying on the ground, the sad part was you couldn’t answer that question.

The sound of footsteps brought you back to the present, and you let out a suppressed groan at the figures in your line of sight.

“Don’t you guys ever get posted anywhere else?” You rolled your eyes, reaching behind your back to summon your polearm.

“You’re trespassing.” The voice that came out of the Electro Vanguard was so deep and distorted as to be hilarious.

“Lastly I checked you were neither a citizen of Liyue, nor Rex Lapis, so if anyone’s “trespassing” on public territory it’s you.” You sighed. “Oh well. Unfortunately you caught me on a day where I’m somewhat prepared.” With that you lunged towards the Hydro Legionnaire and the fight began.

Fighting when one is already frustrated is both a blessing and a curse. The fight itself was almost invigorating, the first Fatui hit the ground and with it you felt part of your worries fade away, if only for the small window of time which this fight offered. Was this why Childe fought so much? The though crossed your mind as you whirled behind the Pyro Bracer and pressed as much Electro as you dared into the back of his head, tripping him with the staff of your polearm on his way down.

Soon enough there was only you and the Electro Vanguard left. Unfortunately you were beginning to feel the other side affect of anger, that being misfocus. Being more versed in using your polearm as a sort of lightning rod your found the Vanguard much harder to deal with, more than once barely diving out of the way of the hammer he was swinging around, surprisingly light on his feet considering what the weight must be. Your anger was quickly draining, turning into something more akin to panic, and as you found yourself stumbling more and more you realized that today was really, really not your day.

The Vanguard was becoming aware of how fast you were tiring, a gravelly sort of laugh emerging from behind his mask. As you found your with you back to the slope you wondered if it was just worth it to make an escape. The Fatui swung his hammer once more, barreling towards you. Having nothing left to do you put your polearm out in front of you, hoping that your arms were strong enough not to recoil against the inevitable blow. Closing your eyes you thought of nothing, drowning in a sea of panic. If there was any coherent part of your brain it wished that you weren’t here, that you just stayed home, or swallowed you pride and gone to the gate. But it was too late now, and you were about to get hit.

However the blow never landed, instead a loud sound pierced the air. Whipping your arms open you saw the Electro Vanguard stumble, his hammer having been dropped on the ground. He was grasping towards his ankle, in which was stuck an arrow, glowing a faint aquamarine. Swearing the Fatui member glanced around, before stumbling away, dragging his weapon and his left leg behind him like dead weight.

“Some things never change, huh?”

“Childe!” You whirled towards your once again savior, face burning from embarrassment. “I took out the rest of them this time.”

“I can see that,” said Childe, surveying the area, a telltale smirk on his face, “very impressive. Although, if I may suggest, next time try to take out the Electro Vanguard first, especially since you don’t wield a weapon made for pure damage.”

“Is this turning into a teaching moment?”

“Absolutely not.” Childe laughed.

You found the sound catching, and soon a smile spread across your face as you let your polearm disappear once more. You ran up to Childe, and were about to throw you arms around his neck in a characteristic hug, when the thoughts of before came ramming back into your brain. Taking a step back you planted your arms firmly in front of you, hoping that maybe Childe hadn’t noticed what you’d been about to do.

However Childe approached you instead.

“You weren’t at the gate today.” He said coyly, lips drifting somewhere between a smirk and a frown.

“I’m sorry.” You lowered your head. “I just thought, well maybe that would be better. Since you said you might be leaving permanently and all, and since you were right when you said I’d have to figure things out without you, I don’t know, I thought maybe it’d be for the best.”

Looking up the expression on Childe’s face could only be described as one of complete disbelief. For a moment he stayed frozen in place.

“What in Teyvat do you mean I’m leaving permanently?”

“You said that! Remember… when we were going to pick sea shells you said that you were leaving.” You stepped back, cheeks flushed. “Or maybe you were just sort of sick of me or something.”

“Why would you ever think that?” Childe walked up to you, enveloping one of the hands at your side in his own and bringing it up towards him.

“I… I don’t know,” you replied, feeling very confused and very foolish, “I thought maybe that I was being too affectionate, or too clingy. I mean I know you don’t like me or anything like that. And I thought maybe that I was crossing the boundaries of our friendship.”

“I don’t like you? I’ve liked you since almost the first day we’ve met!”

“Not like that! I mean, like like, you know? As in… well, as in I… I love you.” You let your voice peter out.

“I love you too!” Childe let out. Shaking his head he smiled widely. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve liked you since almost the first time we’ve met. I wasn’t trying to shoo you away.”

“What?” Your brain was short circuiting. Something had gone terribly wrong. You’d definitely been knocked out at some point, and was now hallucinating. There was no way Childe liked you, loved you. He could love anyone, why would he love you.

Childe stepped closer, moving so that your foreheads were almost pressed together.

“May I?” He whispered, voice almost shy. You nodded, a just as small “yes” escaping your lips before Childe cut off your ability to say anything more. It was a short kiss, sweet and chaste, and yet you felt everything around you suddenly come into sharp, almost lucid clarity. You weren’t dreaming. This was happening. This was Childe and he liked you. Childe like you. He liked you, he really liked you.

“Why?” You let out, when the two of you separated. Thankfully Childe remained close to you, being without his presence now would’ve been quite lonely.

“Why what?”

“Why me? I’m not, I don’t know, I can’t even knock out an Electro Vanguard without help.”

Childe let out a laugh, lovely as music.

“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes sparkling, “because you’re you. And I like you.”

And all of a sudden you found that that was enough.

 Ganyu

The days that you accompanied Ganyu on her various errands were the ones in which you were most aware that you were on a level utterly below her.

Of course humans could never really measure up to adepti, after all they made the world and humans simply lived in it. Still in terms of humans, well you weren’t exactly pushing exceptional. If Ganyu represented all that was exceptional about the adepti, well then you represented the average human who didn’t like their job and overall went about their day as unnoticeable as an ant on the road.

Of course Ganyu never acted in a way that would betray the imbalance between the two of you. Indeed Ganyu was nothing if not kind, sweet, and utterly without a semblance of hierarchy. It was one of the things that you adored about her, the straightforward honesty she carried with her, and the way that she appeared not to judge living beings on a scale, even if that was the right of those who were higher and didn’t have to worry about said scale.

“Can you carry this for me?” Ganyu’s voice was soft and somewhat hesitant. You smiled widely, knowing that Ganyu simply had difficulty asking other people for help.

“Of course I can!” Scooping up the package that was stretched out towards you, you saw Ganyu let out a short sigh of relief.

“Thank you.”

“Of course! I’m always happy to help you. Where are we taking this?”

“Over to the funeral parlor. It seems that there are some tiles in here that are being used for a specific ritual. Hu Tao said that the family wanted it, I hope she doesn’t actually mean she pushed them towards it.” Ganyu let out a soft sigh. “She once suggested advertising for cremation. Somehow I feel that won’t exactly be welcomed by the people.”

“No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality. Ah, but Hu Tao is doing her best, and if these tiles end up being insulators, I suppose we can’t do much about it. I’ll make sure not to drop them anyways. Getting on Hu Tao’s bad side feels like asking for a prank.”

“You’re probably right.” Ganyu chuckled.

You blushed slightly, loving the way her laugh sounded, soft and open. You knew Ganyu struggled sometimes; she admitted to you herself that it was very difficult to live an existence defined by liminality. Was she an adeptus? Was she a human? She was neither, and yet both would claim her and call her other. In understanding this Ganyu had retreated into herself. Perhaps that’s why her laugh meant so much.

As you strolled down the docks an angry voice cut through the air.

“Qixing!”

Both of you turning around you saw Bolai, heaving slightly, teetering his way towards you. His face was stormy, and for a moment you wondered if someone had stolen something. His words when he caught up however revealed a very different motivation.

“I demand justice!”

“What for?” Ganyu asked, voice deadly serious once more.

“What for? For what Huixin said in regards to me! For the Liyue Qixing complying with disgusting rumors as to the ways in which I conduct my business and my finances. As to the way that you promised to help me then turned on me!”

“I see…” Ganyu sighed as you wracked your brain, trying to remember what she’d told you about the time that she and the traveler ran around trying to detangle various examples of tax fraud. “Have you considered putting up a formal complaint?” Ganyu meanwhile was still trying to keep professional, something that you admired her for.

“How am I supposed to trust the Qixing after what happened? No! I demand compensation now!”

“Sir, I’m sure you’re quite upset, but there’s no need to act in such a way. If you wish to clear your name, then we can meet in private and review the testimony and documents we received. If not, then I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you. I’m very sorry.”

Ganyu turned back towards the direction in which you two had been previously walking. Evidently too agitated to think properly Bolai let out a strangled cry.

“We’re not finished yet!” Reaching out, he seemed to be attempting to turn Ganyu around by the shoulder. Having been standing there unthinking you now moved to block the action, knowing that Bolai didn’t really mean anything by it, but not trusting the man who looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. Bolai’s hand instead smacked into the box in your hands, which slipped from your grip and fell to the floor in a great crash.

Time seemed to slow down somewhat after this, as Bolai stepped backwards and Ganyu turned around, face one of evident horror at the scene. You felt your face begin to burn as you looked at the unassuming box, which now looked a little bit the worse for wear.

“What…” Ganyu trailed off. Bolai waved his hands about in a panicked sort of way.

“That wasn’t me! That wasn’t my fault! It was this person they… I don’t know what they were thinking, getting in the way like that. How idiotic! This is nothing but a mess, a disgrace!”

Normally you wouldn’t pay Bolai’s words any mind, but now they seemed to pierce right through, as you realized all the trouble you’d just caused Ganyu. Glancing over towards her you found you could neither look her in the eyes nor stay where you were.

“I-I’m sorry!” You stammered. Moving to pick up the box you found your hand hesitating. Fearing that you’d just make things worse you pulled yourself and dashed in the opposite direction, speeding up the docks and towards the outskirts of the city.

Normally the view from Mount Tianheng was one that stole your breath away. Today however the mountain seemed completely uninteresting, especially when compared to the thoughts racing in your head.

How had you gotten here, how had you messed up so much? Ganyu didn’t need your posturing, your attempt to help. She was an adeptus for Morax’s sake! And who were you? Someone who couldn’t even carry a box from Point A to Point B. And now you’d just caused more trouble for Ganyu, when she already had so much to do.

“I’m such a failure.” You groaned into your palms.

“You aren’t!” You lifted your head at the soft exclamation, already knowing who the voice belonged to. Ganyu sidled up to the ledge of the mountain silently, fidgeting with her hands. “May I sit next to you?”

“Of course.” You replied, grateful that Ganyu was even talking to you. Smiling softly the Qixing Emissary let out a soft sigh.

“I love the view of the city from here.” She spoke softly, eyes on the horizon.

“I do too.”

“There’s something so lovely about watching everyone go about their day, isn’t there? To see the people work in harmony to bring prosperity and peace to the city of Liyue. To see how everyone continues on the legacy of Rex Lapis.”

“That’s a lot to see.” You joked, still feeling a little uncomfortable, as if Ganyu might in a minute get up and leave.

“But can’t you see it?” Ganyu’s voice was earnest and her eyes shined. “It’s wonderful how people do it, how they continue to make this city thrive, to keep the contracts of Morax alive and within living memory.”

“Perhaps it’s just harder for humans to judge it themselves?”

“Perhaps.” Ganyu’s expression shifted into something, almost shy, not quite melancholic. “Just like how you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself.”

“I’m so sorry Ganyu. I don’t know what I was thinking! I just… I just, wasn’t thinking.”

“You were trying to be kind.” Ganyu replied, something almost akin to blush coating her cheeks. “And I have to thank you for that.”

“But I just caused more trouble…”

“You were trying to be kind,” Ganyu repeated, “like I said, you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself. But you have to. You didn’t truly do anything that needs forgiveness.”

“But I was doing it for completely selfish reasons!” You blurted out, embarrassment and doubt turning into the words you never wanted to utter. “It’s because I like you, and not just because I was trying to be nice. But because, because maybe I wanted to do something for you, and then maybe I’d be good enough maybe.” Realizing how odd that just sounded you turned your head away. For a moment your words hung in the air, and the longer the silence continued the longer you thought about how utterly selfish you were.

“Thank you.” There was a smile in Ganyu’s voice, and as you turned your head once more you could see it plastered across her face.

“For what?”

“For telling me you like me.”

“But… but isn’t it just burdening you? After all I’m not good enough for you.”

“You are!” Ganyu’s voice was firm. “You’re absolutely good enough for me. And what you did, you call it selfishness, but I don’t understand that. Being kind to people you like isn’t selfish, even if you like them. Because this time you were genuinely helping me. Besides, if that’s selfish then I’ve also been terribly selfish.”

“How?”

“By asking you to accompany me everywhere. Because maybe, maybe I like you too.”

For a moment you wondered if you hadn’t accidentally slipped off the cliff, so weightless did you feel. A bit lightheaded you leaned forward.

“Really?”

“Yes.” Ganyu smiled nervously. Reaching out she took your hand in hers.

The two of you watched the sun set over the city of contracts mostly in silence. Every once in a while there would be a spurt of conversation, but mostly there was nothing but the sounds of the birds and the cicadas, and the pounding of two hearts, hearts both a bit ragged from the events of the day.

For what a day it had been. And how wonderfully it had ended.

 Kaeya

If you could use anything as justification for your crush on Kaeya, he did flirt with you. Unfortunately he also flirted with everyone else in Mondstadt.

“How’s my favorite knight of Favonius?” Kaeya’s cocky voice was clear as a bell, and for a moment your heart flipped as the handsome knight came into view, smile as lovely as it had been the day before.

“Blessed by the presence of our beloved cavalry captain.” You replied in a singsong voice.

The first time Kaeya had used that line on you it felt like your soul had left your body and your heart had run a marathon. Unfortunately you’d heard him use practically the same line on Rosaria the next day, his favorite mysterious nun, robbing you of your fantasy in which Kaeya had any interest for you.

Your banter however was not without genuine feeling. You were utterly infatuated with Kaeya, having fallen for the handsome knight about two weeks into your own training. Originally having been an adventurer you’d joined the knights relatively recently after a series of Abyss attacks on the City of Freedom. As such Kaeya had by then already occupied an exalted position among the ranks, and the hours of being trained, teased, and flirted at by the mysterious cavalry captain had been enough to throw you head over heels.

Not that you’d ever expect things to develop more than they already had. Having a crush on the flirtiest man in Mondstadt did mean that you were praised every once in a while, but it also meant that the praise meant little more than empty words, and that there was always someone else who had heard them. Not that you begrudged those people, not knowing them or not caring. It was Kaeya’s right to be as he was, flirty and irreverent; and you’d never ask him to change that part of himself, or any other.

To do so would be to change the person you’d grown to love.

You trotted up the steps of the Favonius headquarters, opening the door with a slight “oof” before stepping into the cool building. Today was going to be a quiet sort of day for the knights, and you’d been assigned to pick up a few books from Jean’s office to be recorded by Lisa before being sent off to the Church. Going to open the door you paused at the voices inside.

“– saying it’s nothing.”

“And I’m saying that it’s becoming a distraction. I don’t want to control your actions Kaeya, but this pining has been slowing down your work, and we need you as one of our most crucial members to be on top of things.”

“I’m not pining.”

“What do you mean you aren’t pining,” Jean let out a snort, “as if it’s not obvious to everyone around you. Look, I’m not saying you have to break things off –”

“Good, because they haven’t even begun.”

“Then maybe that’s part of your problem. Maybe if you told them you liked them then you’d be able to get back on track.”

“I’m doing my best.”

“You aren’t doing anything. And that’s the problem.”

You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, having made your way over to the library as to make sure that you were get caught, and to cool your head in regards to what you’d just heard.

So Kaeya liked someone. You shouldn’t’ve really been surprised. Kaeya was a wonderful person; intelligent, good with a weapon, polite, handsome. What person wouldn’t fall in love with him? And when everyone’s in love with you, well, it was unsurprising that eventually Kaeya would find someone who he loved back just as much. Then, why did it hurt?

You fought the urge to wrack your brain for the people Kaeya spoke most about, finding the act beneath you. Still, your mind wandered. Perhaps it was Rosaria after all, or maybe it was only because you remembered her. Perhaps it was the sword smith who came twice monthly to check up on the weaponry. Or perhaps it was the tailor, who could sew anything with the utmost care. Or perhaps it was a musician, or an archivist, or another knight. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Your head swam and you found your eyes stinging. Now wasn’t the time to cry, not when you needed to honor your appointment with Jean, not when you were somewhere where any one of your colleagues might discover you. Not where Kaeya might walk in any minute and realize what you’d done. This thought finally brought you out of the spiral of your mind. Making sure that any tears that might’ve escaped were wiped away you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you walked out of the library and into Jean’s office.

Evidently you must’ve looked much worse than you thought, for Jean took one look at you and ordered you home, grumbling about how much trouble there had been recently. You thanked her half-heartedly before making your way out of the Headquarters, heart heavy as lead. At least work would’ve been a welcome distraction.

Arriving home you saw what Jean meant. Though you weren’t particularly teary, your face had taken on an ashen pallor that made it look like you’d either just gotten a shock, fainted, or had suddenly contracted consumption. Letting out a sigh you collapsed on the couch of your apartment. You knew you should probably do something, should eat or work on some extra work or something. But right now you didn’t want to do any of that. You just wanted to forget.

The knock that sounded at your door was extremely unwelcome, and you bit back bitter words as you made your way over to the door. Any protest however was silenced at the sight of Kaeya, hair slightly tussled, expression opaque, on your doorstep.

“Kaeya.” You meant to sound more peppy, but the action felt too tiring. “What’re you doing here?”

“Making sure that you’re alright. Jean told me that you looked unwell, and we can’t have our best knight getting sick, now can we?”

“I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

You went to turn around, when Kaeya reached over and place his hand on your forehead. Freezing you let out a sound somewhere between a strangled cry and a shriek. Kaeya didn’t react to this however, or the red quickly spreading across the bridge of your nose. Instead he let out a sigh, before smiling, something which also caused your heart to seize up.

“Not running a fever. I’m glad. Do you know what’s wrong by any chance?”

“Yes. No! I mean, I think, I, I just need rest.”

“You can tell me if something’s wrong. I might not be able to help, but I can try. Consider it the duty of the Cavalry Captain. Have to keep up appearances, even among the ranks.”

“Really Kaeya, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” Kaeya’s eye seemed to pierce through your soul. “You seem… upset, exhausted. Please, let me help.”

“I can’t…” Your voice cracked and you turned your head away, mortified by your inability to control yourself.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Kaeya’s voice was filled with sudden worry. “Is someone doing something to you?”

“No! No one is. I just can’t because, because it’d be selfish.”

“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s tone had become utterly perplexed, and for a moment you felt the crazy urge to laugh. As if it wasn’t painfully obvious why you couldn’t. This was so tiring. You were so tired.

“Because it’s not fair of me to take away your happiness just because of my own feelings.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I heard you talking to Jean,” you explain, face burning, “she said that you liked someone. Or maybe you did, I don’t remember. Anyways you like someone and it’s not fair of that to hurt me, I have no right to your feelings. But, but it hurts, it really, really hurts.”

The silence when you finished was miserable. You weren’t even looking up at Kaeya, not wanting to see the destruction of a friendship you valued so much.

“Have you considered that the person I’m so infatuated with might be you?”

When you looked up you caught a wave of emotions, similar in strength to the ones currently going through you, plastered over Kaeya’s face. Happiness, sadness, regret, relief; all these things danced in his eyes. In that moment you loved him even more for it, for knowing that he understood, and that he too couldn’t hide the affects of having someone you loved so close and yet so far.

Saying nothing you walked over and slowly stretched your hand out. Kaeya took the hand in his, and you reveled in the small intimacy, in his calloused fingers enveloping yours.

“I’m not good enough.” You pointed out, voice soft.

“You aren’t the one who decides who I love.” Kaeya replied, voice firm. “To me there is no one else worthy in the world. Only you. And I hope that I can be the same for you, that I can be worthy.”

“Yes. Oh yes.”

For Kaeya was more than simply worthy. He was the one you loved the most, as well as the one who’d now made you the happiest person you could ever dream of.

[dylanobrienisbatman]

The main problem with the whole mal vs the darkling thing in regards to being possessive (or really when it comes to any of their traits) is the fact that throughout, the darkling is clearly framed as the villain and his actions reflect that, whereas Mal as supposed to be the good guy and best romantic partner for Alina, and yet he has all these awful character traits and tendencies. So its less about how awful the Bad Guy is (since he's supposed to be), and more about how awful the person that we're supposed to believe is the best option for Alina is. I don't ship either, just my two cents.

Okay well... two things. First, your comment about "its less about how awful the bad guy is, since he's supposed to be", takes every comment I've made about Darkles out of context, which seems fitting since everything Darklina's spout about Mal is out of context. Him being the Bad Guy is fine, and if you like him AS A VILLAIN, and acknowledge all the bad shit he does, then my posts aren't for you. I think he's a very interesting villain, and a lot of the terrible shit he does that I have to keep making posts about make him a good villain, the problem is when the terrible shit the "Bad Guy" does is romanticized and viewed as the reasons why Alina SHOULD have picked him. So, don't assume everyone gets that "hes supposed to be awful". The point my post was making is that Darklina's love to call Mal possessive, but then turn around and act like Darkles literally enslaving her in somehow sexy and romantic. It's fucking not, and it's transparent as hell that y'all romanticize and sexualize the actually possessive character, and then project false character traits onto Mal. It's so transparent, it's almost funny.

But, more importantly, to your second, very wrong point, I wonder how much of the narrative about Mal having "awful character traits and tendencies" is actually a commentary on Mal as a character, or is it just Darklina's lying about things Mal has done and everyone accepting that misinterpretation as canon. Because, if were making a list...

Fuck boy - False! Mal was not a fuck boy! He was an attractive teenager who hooked up with consenting girls his age when he could, and he was not in a relationship during that time. Alina had never told him how she felt, so he is not beholden to her. (Also, nobody seems to have an issue with the fact that Darkles hooked up with Zoya in the show, that doesn't make HIM a fuckboy... interesting) (also also, nobody seems to discuss Darkles literally sexually assaulting Alina, and lying and manipulating her to get her to be physically intimate with him so he can use her... double interesting).

Slut Shames Alina - FALSE! The ever favourite callout line from Darklina's "He's all over you" isn't him slut shaming her. First, he has no idea what their relationship is like at that point, but more importantly, he is making an observation of her status in the little palace and how she has become his tool. He has dressed her up in his colors, made her put on a show for his benefit, and has created a situation where Alina appears to be his. Mal is noting that after months of searching for her, believing she was being hurt, tortured, or worse, when he arrives to save her, she looks like the Darkling's pet. (and, even if he WAS angry because he perceived them to be romantically involved, boy just spent months fighting for his life, lost multiple friends, and almost died to find her, all while coming to the realisation that he was in love with her, and then he shows up, after not hearing from her for months... I'd be pissed as hell too.) Important Note: He even acknowledges that what he said was wrong and tries to apologise, before Alina tells him that he was right. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 286). He also then apologizes, completely unprompted, for what he said. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 297).

Fat Shames Alina - False! This one is particularly laughable to me, because its one of the Darklina arguments that falls apart the second you actually read the scene. They are running for their lives in the forest, and Mal has to hunt and gather to feed them. He is noting that Alina's appetite has increased since he last saw her, and he makes a joke (ya know, how you do with friends) about how it would be easier to keep her fed if she still had her more meager appetite from before. He makes no comment on her weight, or her size, and he is not actually commenting on her appetite in a negative way, he is just acknowledging that it's a lot more work for him now that she eats more. Right before he says the line, the quote even proves that he isn't shaming her or thinking badly of her: "With a bemused expression, he watched as I gobbled down my portion and then sighed, still hungry". He is noting a change in her, and complaining that its made more work for him. If you think thats the same as fat shaming, well... thats a you problem.

Hates Alina's Powers - FALSE!!!! How to begin... do we talk about it was Mal's idea to hunt the stag in S&B, because he knew she needed it to be more powerful so she could stop the darkling? Do we talk about how he vowed to find the firebird for her, even though he was terrified of what all that power would do to her? Do we talk about how he literally died so she could achieve the power she needed to save the world? Or maybe we could talk about how he believed in her power more than anyone else, like when everyone was making bets about her abilities with the Cut and he knew she'd go further and better than anyone else expected her too, or when he tells her that he was never afraid of her powers, only what seeking all that power would do to her (which is literally the theme of the books, that power corrupts and seeking unmatched power can destroy you)? Mal being afraid of what is going to happen to Alina, being protective of her and worrying over her, is not the same as him hating her powers. He exists to help remind Alina of the themes of the story, and to guide her into maintaining her humanity.

Abusive - ... Do I even need to explain this one? Must I deign an explanation as to why this favourite Darklina lie is so fucking stupid, and also totally hypocrisy? No? Because we all know Darkles is actually the abusive one and they're trying to project their own shit onto Mal to further their abuse apologist agenda? Cool. Moving on.

Possessive of Alina - False! Throughout the entire series, Mal is quite literally the opposite of possessive, but yall just cant read. Not only does he quite literally step out of the way and allow Nikolai to court Alina without argument, which is the most direct example of him not being possessive, he also spends two full books believing, and repeatedly saying over and over and over, that they can't be together because he is not good enough for her. Mal believes, fully, that Alina deserves more than him, better than him, because he's just a tracker and a soldier, just a regular man with nothing to offer her but his love and his protection, and she is a Saint and should be a Queen. Possessiveness is the wish to own and control someone, it is literally the opposite of Mal believing that he's not good enough and doing everything he can to ensure that Alina achieves everything and gets everything he believes she is owed. A possessive character would not tell her to tell him to leave because he has nothing he can offer her, no title or land or country or crown. A possessive character would not promise to be the blade in her hand, because he believed he had nothing but the blood he could spill to offer her.

Angry - True! Yeah, omg, you caught us, Mal is ANGRY! Heaven forbid a teenager who is traumatized beyond belief and has to give up everything in his life, his position in the military (he deserted for her), his friends and the job he loved (Mikhail and Dubrov died for him, and he can't be a tracker in the army... because he deserted... for Alina), and, most importantly, he has to give up Alina (she should be Queen, he believes, and he has to give up the future he imagined with the girl he loves, who he was pretty sure loved him back, because she's a saint and queen and he's just a man), and more, is ANGRY. He has to be the one to find the amplifiers that he knows will end up hurting her, because thats what she needs to save the world. He has to sit by while Nikolai treats him like the dirt on his shoe and tries to woo Alina for his own personal gain (because Nikoalai did not love Alina. Maybe he came to care for her, but he proposed and spent all of S&S trying to get her to marry him when it was obvious they were not in love. He straight up says its so that the next King of Ravka can be married to the Sun Summoner. It's a power grab.) and he can't do anything about it. So yeah, Mal is angry. And yeah, sometimes he's even angry at Alina, just like sometimes she's angry at him. But they always find their way back, always apologize and try to be better for each other, and if you think anger is a toxic trait, and not simply a natural human emotion, might I suggest touching some fucking grass?

Idk why you thought I'd stand for Mal slander on my blog, cuz I will not. So, I'm gonna stop there, because I have shit to do today, but I really do wonder how much of Mal's 'toxic' or 'terrible' traits, that make him such a 'bad' love interest for Alina, really comes from Darklina's who refuse to actually read the text critically at all, and instead take everything he does and says out of context to further their agenda that Alina should have ended up as the Darkling's fucking slave forever, because thats the "girl power feminist" ending somehow. Mal supports her, loves her, sacrifices for her at every turn, and does everything he can do, to the point of literally dying for her, to ensure that she can defeat Darkles and save the world. He protects her, and when they end up happy and safe together on the orphange that they've rebuilt to help the children that were victims of Darkles war and genocide, he spends his days bringing her tea and cakes and flowers, kissing her silly under the stairs in the view of all the teachers, and calling her names like beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart for the rest of their ordinary life together, if love can ever be called that.

[adhbabey]

Y'all its 3:33 in the morning and I gotta say like,

My ocd really fucking me up and it has been for a long time. Like, little things like checking notifications or like, compulsively liking posts, and like addictively getting attached to drama online and thinking it's my business when it's not.

That's the way it happens. I see a post talking about how if you do this thing, you're bad, and I latch onto it. I think, oh no, I have to prove I'm not bad. So I run my mouth, I ramble. I say, "hey, so..." yadda yadda. I am afraid of what other people might say, what others might think of me.

I ruin and self sabotage and hurt myself when I listen to the little voice in my head that says I need to make sure that I'm not a bad guy. That I'm good. That I am not evil. But I'm just encouraging my disorder, I'm just causing myself harm.

And it affects me bad, I dissociate or just feel fucking nauseous. It makes me feel like shit when I listen to those who say that I might be evil, bad, racist, ableist, homophobic, etc. That I'm wrong for minding my own business, that I'm wrong if I disagree.

One of the worst intrusive thoughts/obsessions/compulsions I face is race ocd, where I get racist thoughts or think I might be racist if I do one little thing that is wrong. But in reality, it's disordered thoughts, I love my partner, I love my friends, I don't wish them harm despite my intrusive thoughts. And often times it stops me from learning a new language, something I've been wanting to do for a long time. わたし　わ　ゆき　です！ I'm not very good yet, and I need to brush up on my katakana, and I don't even know if I wrote that right. But it's something I'm passionate about, despite my disorder telling me that I am wrong and evil and fucked up for learning.

In a world of pressure and purity culture and this mentality that has no room for mistakes, it can straight up destroy you. It's just wrong. This type of thing doesn't hold room for compassion and forces us into apathetic states of mind. In self hating and self destructive behaviors.

So, for this disability pride month, this summer, this year, and years moving forward, be kind to yourself. No more obsessively fixating on negative drama or news, or anything that someone says you must look at or listen to.

If you start to dissociate or get the feeling you want to scream and plug your ears, just stop looking at it and block them, unfollow them, close the app, don't look at it. No matter what they say, you're not horrible.

I don't paint myself as an almighty or a lawful good or morally pure person because sometimes I just want to kill people, I want to punch, I want to bite, I want to not care, I want to tell people to fuck off. But that still doesn't make me evil. It doesn't. I'm not as bad as that little voice that says so.

So free yourself. Goodbye little thought, you can't control me, you don't own me, I don't owe you anything. I know that's easier said than done. But no more apologizing for existing. This is what disabled pride is about. No more apologizing or making yourself small or pretending to agree when you don't. Fuck compulsions, fuck intrusive thoughts, you deserve to live.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111

sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.

today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.

Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?

so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?

How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?

No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk. 

-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????

Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.

Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.

I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the     other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.

The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.

-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:

(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.

(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.

-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk &  think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!

-just look:

 Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~

Side Notes:

I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol.  Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those  refreshing  interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is,  but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him  around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is  nice guy”.

I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.

I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD

Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.

Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.

I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...

I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.