#its like im a magnet of bad people when i go out of my comfort zone. its all bells and whistles then Boom its another piece of shit
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dexaroth Ā· 1 year ago
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i honestly wish i could make characters/adopts as like, a job. or a side hustle. theres nothing better than someone saying they like x y and z and then figuring out a way to get the best but still compatible characteristics and colors and. getting something awesome out of it
i dont like the whole culture around it though. in fact i hate most of it and the petty dramas or outright harassment some people have to endure.. i also dont like the idea of putting your heart into an adopt just for it to never get sold. plus it just so happens that, as with commissions, it turns out my lifetime goal of being a nobody on the internet doesnt exactly.. allow me to get clients at all lol. and i dont like all the marketing you have to do as well. but making characters is fun!! aoeuaeuaughh
i like the idea of design trades but i just never get attached to any oc that isnt my own and i feel bad bc i dont get the oc any use.. i personally feel pretty sad if that happens to my designs but it doesnt affect me so badly bc i dont check on ppl i made designs for X]
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zilliondollarpussy Ā· 11 days ago
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IM DIVINELY THANKFUL MY ENERGY ONLY BECOMES FURTHER POTENT IM DIVINELY THANKFUL EVERYONE WHO I LOVE LOVES ME BACK FOR IM FUNDAMENTALLY LOVED IM DIVINELY THANKFUL IM ANCHORED AND ROOTED IN THE FACT I ALONE HOLD ABSOLUTELY ALL THE POWER AND WHAT IS MY TRUTH MY NARRATIVE IM DIVINELY THANKFUL FOR THE POTENCY OF MY POWER IS SO MINDBOGGLINGLY STRONG IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THEY TRULY LIKE ME IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THEYRE ALWAYS COMFORTABLE AROUND ME IM DIVINELY THANKFUL EVEN IF THEYRE INTIMIDATED OR OVERWHELMED BY ME IT DOESNT STOP THEM FROM BEING UTTERLY MAGNETIZED TO ME LIKE IM THE VERY OXYGEN THEY BREATHE IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I GOT THAT FORMIDABLE SUPREME DRAGON ENERGY THAT PUTS OTHER DRAGON'S ENERGY TO SHAME IM DIVINELY THANKFUL AS I TRANSFORM AS I BECOME FORMIDABLY STRONGER IN MY ENERGY SINCE THATS GONNA HAPPEN INEVITABLY AND ITS ALREADY HAPPENING RN IM DIVINELY THANKFUL IM ONLY GONNA GET STRONGER AND STRONGER LIKE ITS THE ONLY THING THATS INEVITABLE IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THE VOLTAGE OF MY POWER IS AMPED THE FUCK UP IS GONNA TURN ALL THE WAY UP IM DIVINELY THANKFUL IM EFFORTLESSLY A THOUSAND POUNDS A GAZILLION POUNDS WHEN I WALK AROUND BECAUSE MY AURA MY PRESENCE MY ENERGY MY HEAVYWEIGHT DOES CARRY THAT HEAVINESS THAT SERIOUSNESS LIKE IM TRULY A WHOLE NOTHER MYSTICAL OTHERWORLDLY PLANE OF EXISTENCE WHERE I ALONE GET ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I WANT EVEN IF ITS AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE'S WILL, ESPECIALLY AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE'S WILL! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL IM THIS DIVINELY STRONGEST MAGNET SUCKING EVERYTHING IN AROUND ME BECAUSE I AM. IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THE POWER IM UNSURPASSABLY THOROUGHLY UNDISTORTEDLY CLEARLY DEEPLY PROFOUNDLY BLISSFULLY POWERFULLY CONNECTED TO IS EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT, IS DIVINELY SUPREMELY INTELLIGENT THAN ABSOLUTELY ALL OTHER INTELLIGENT FORCES AND POWER. THE POWER IM CONNECTED TO WILL GUIDE MY WHOLE LIFE FOR ME I WONT EVEN HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER AND MY ONLY JOB IS TO FOSTER MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS POWER/MY POWER AND IT'LL EFFORTLESSLY GUIDE MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR ME. IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I ONLY KEEP INCREASING IN UNSURPASSABLE SUPREME DOMINANT IRREFURABLE POWER. IM DIVINELY THANKFUL IM A GOOD PERSON I SAY ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING RIGHT I DO EVERYTHING RIGHT I NEVER QUESTION MYSELF AS I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO EVERYONE RESPONDS VERY POSITIVELY TO THE FIRE I SPIT OUT IN THE BESTEST WAY! I DONT EVEN HAVE TO SPIT IT OUT IM WALKING AROUND AND MY DRAGON ENERGY MY DRAGON FIRE IS SURROUNDING ME! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I ONLY TELL MYSELF IM A SUPREMELY DIVINE PERSON! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I NEVER SMELL BAD IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I ONLY COME ACROSS AS UNDEFEATED! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I ALWAYS FEEL EVERYONE IS MAGNETIZED TO MY IRREFUTABLY MAGNETIC MAGICAL ENERGY! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THERE ISNT A SINGLE SOUL THAT DOESNT LIKE ME! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I ALONE CONTROL WHAT IM GOING TO EXPERIENCE! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL MY POWER GIVES ME ABSOLUTELY ALL THE IRREFUTABLE INFORMATION I NEED SIMPLY TO WIN VERY EFFORTLESSLY TO SECURE MY DESIRES VERY EFFORTLESSLY TO HAVE MY ALREADY FULFILLED DESIRES EFFORTLESSLY MAGNETIZE TOWARDS ME! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL MY POWER IS PULLING PEOPLE THAT ID LOVE TO EXPERIENCE IN IN THE WAY ID LOVE THEM TO EXPERIENCE! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL MY ENERGY PULLS IN THINGS THEYRE TRYING TO HIDE FROM ME! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL MY TRUTH UTTERLY CHOOSES ME COMPLETELY IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THE TRUTH COMPLETELY CHOOSES ME! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THEIR OWN NARRATIVE CHOOSES ME! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THEIR OWN STORIES CHOOSES ME! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL IM EXPOSING EVERYONE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRETY OF MY WITHIN COMPLETELY IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I EFFORTLESSLY DISROBE THEM INSTANTANEOUSLY! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I HAVE RELATIONSHIPS IM DIVINELY THANKFUL NO BAD STORIES APPLY TO ME THAT VIDEO AS A WHOLE AS WELL AS WHO REPOSTED IT IS SIMPLY ALL WHOLEHEARTEDLY CONFIRMATION THE ENTIRETY OF WHAT I PRECISELY DESIRE AND PREFER IS ON ITS WAY TO ME INEVITABLY POWERFULLY! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL EVERY POSITIVE AND ADVANTAGEOUS THING THEY SEE UTTERLY MAKES THEM THINKS OF ME MAKING THEM DIRELY AND GRAVELY REALIZE IM THE ONE
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ruminate88 Ā· 4 months ago
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Being Real:
09/02/24 9:15 pm
itā€™s so crazy šŸ„“šŸ˜³ always, always, always, I canā€™t get my ex andrew out of my head. I feel his energy and feel very tied to him šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜ HOWEVER, I see my other ex, Codyā€™s face legit every where!!!!!! Every guy in every ad or TikTok has his face. Out in public evenā€¦. GAAAAAH! Itā€™s his eyes and smile. I see it. I always get the same reaction inside of me too. Justā€¦ wow. I canā€™t make it up. I realize Cody ghosting me, left me without a goodbye and Iā€™ve been creating my own goodbyes but also Iā€™ve felt this ā€œopen doorā€ that I cant ever close no matter how I try because itā€™s already closed but yet its openā€¦ šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜† Ahhhhhh!!!
IM GOING CRAZY! Cody, what are ya doing to me?????? itā€™s torture and so haunting. Iā€™m legit left haunted by his ghost. I havenā€™t even dreamt of him in over a month!! But seeing his eyes everywhere. Itā€™s like heā€™s watching me and Iā€™m paranoid. I have a horrible time letting go. Accepting my current life. As crazy as I feel, Iā€™ve almost gotten comfortable in the insanity and I am afraid of the next phase in life but I also know if I donā€™t heal, my hair wonā€™t grow back and my digestive wonā€™t get better šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Iā€™m working sssooooo hard to behave on my diet and exercise and self care. Continuing no contact to prioritize my well-being and yet I think Cody and Andrew ARE both always there I feel Andrewā€™s energy 24/7 and feel he's forever a part of me and Iā€™ve worked so hard not to be cold like him. Iā€™ve tried to stay soft and caring. I do care if I hurt people but then there is moments I just want to be alone and push people away šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ I MAKE myself call my mom so I donā€™t lose my warmth. (But sometimes I feel annoyed talking to ppl I know I love. Ugh!)
Lately instead of fighting against it all so hard and beating myself up, I told myself to find space for them separately in my mind and heart, then sort out my feelings for them.
Getting married so fast to someone else after blocking Andrewā€™s number, has been both good and bad!! Good becuase it got me away from Andrew and it has kept me from unblocking his number out of respect for my marriage BUT bad because I wasnā€™t even over Andrew, nor did I understand what happened to me or process my feelings for Andrew. Then I canā€™t stop ruminating but never even heard of ā€œruminateā€ just knew I couldnā€™t stop thinking of Andrew and feel like a terrible wife until I learned what emotional abusive was!! Then, I feel bad all around and yet I have so much clarity too.
Iā€™ve beat myself and tried to help take the blame becuase I feel sorry for my exes but then I get tired trying to carry burdens that Iā€™m not supposed to carry. Plus carrying all the shame!!! Trying to have more compassion for myself and say itā€™s not my fault. Yeah, I chose to be dirty with my exes but they chose to turn it abusive. I didnā€™t ask for that and I didnā€™t even know it was happening. I was completely in the dark so blind to the truth. I always felt they were toxic men but I didnā€™t even understand what that meant. Took me years to find answers and I still find myself in a trail of smoke my exes left behind.
Worst of all, I still feel love for them and sorry for them ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹šŸ„“ I tell myself to stay in the truth, that I canā€™t ever trust them again and convince myself to stay no contact even when I feel this magnetic pull drawing me back to Andrew. Being married is keeping me moving on but a part of me constantly fights not to run back and idk why. Not sure what is so great about Andrew when clearly he hated my guts all along. No one that ā€œloves meā€ will abuse me like he did. Yet, Iā€™ve wanted to forgive him too and hug him. Legit itā€™s in my bones and I crave it like sugar. Ahhh I go totally insane but I tell myself to protect myself and stay away ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ Convincing myself I am healing and going to be ok šŸ‘šŸ»
Iā€™m trusting and believing that all this struggling is going to turn around in a positive way some day soon AND my love wasnā€™t wasted ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ I loved both Cody and Andrew more than theyā€™ll ever understand. Itā€™s always the first thing on my mind waking up and going to bed. I canā€™t escape themā€¦
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dumbbitchfrommars Ā· 9 months ago
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MERCURY YOU CRAZY GIRL!
to be completely fucking honest. im terrified. im terrified of the fact ive pushed this away for so long when it feels like everyone has known it before i did. its not fair. its not fair that everyone should know me better than me. its embarrassing, and frustrating. but she's so lovely and kind and cares about me. and would never talk badly on me, and would never shame me or make me feel bad about myself. like GENUINELY, genuinely, always wants the best for me. which is crazy. crazy because its so rare, when i have tried to emulate that energy for so many before.
interestingly though. i always say how i try to be this safe person, this loving kind caring yada yada - but really, am i though? i try to be, for sure. i try my very best. but im never quite there. my own insecurity gets the better of me and i turn into the harsh critic and judge that i can be to my own self. but she would never, is never, and it inspires me. ive already changed so much for the better in the time since we met and became close and began our adventures together. that's what it is - an adventure. is that not everything ive been asking for and manifesting?
she's literally my soulmate that ive been dreaming of and asking for and manifesting and describing in detail for the past, what, year? maybe just less. anyway. i was so overwhelmed and scared. which is fair enough! she sprung it on me out of fucking nowhere. like genuinely felt like it came from left field. which makes it more fun and exciting for me. like not only am i worthy of that, but she really waited to make certain we were both ready for that. is it because i wanted to go back to my ex, and that stupid fucking taurus boy? she saw i was ready to open my heart again. though clearly for the wrong people.
but i should be wary... its mercury retrograde. also what if it doesnt work? what if im not ready ? its been so long ive been in my comfort zone. i dont want to stay there anymore. its boring and stagnant and stale and im sick of it. i want to grow. growth means discomfort. growth means taking a leap of faith. i quit my job, i did the crazy things i told myself i couldnt for years and years, im just living. im doing things for the sake of doing them because i can and its my right. and now... this is just the next thing god has planned for me. my twin flame in the form of a beautiful warm completely magnetic taurus woman who sees and brings out the absolute best in me. thats actually crazy.
i am still wary though. i have to do this carefully. because neither of us want to ever lose each other, of course, and shes my best friend. the whole dynamic of everything is about to change so we have to be slow, and tentative, and ever so careful. i dont want to hurt her. i dont wanna be the person who hurts her again... shes been through enough.
its funny... its funny to look back and realise every single one of my closest female friendships was like this. all the ones that ended messy - could it have been uncommunicated, unrealised feelings for eachother? one sided feelings for each other? or just chaos on both ends. or all of it. i do think i failed to realise how much my bisexuality and confusion in my feelings for my friends had impacted the dynamic and how i ended the friendship (or how they ended it and it hurt me). also - SO MANY TAURUSES?!
why is it always a taurus. ? apparently this is gods reminder that i need to slow down, enjoy life and take extra moments for the simple pleasures in life. like this! writing, my one true love. it would be so nice if God could grant me a burst of inspiration, because i miss writing. i miss getting into the flow state of creating. of building a world that i get to come back to whenever i feel like it, for an escape or for a reminder of how big, beautiful and wonderful my brain really is.
anyways, that was all. ill check back in a couple of weeks when the next massive change happens and my world is flipped upside down again. also crazy - i think i lost my malachite. served your purpose, have you?
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haik-choo Ā· 4 years ago
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karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o
request:Ā Could you write how 1st years (yachi too plsšŸ„ŗ) going out with their s/o late at night ?
a/n: this is such a cute little concept i --Ā 
[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]
-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi
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tsukishima kei.
not gonna lie, heā€™s often awake late at night. heā€™s a night owl and doesnā€™t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos
occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brotherā€™s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets
so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses
wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you arenā€™t left out by yourself
tsukishima knows thereā€™s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when heā€™s the first one there
as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours
he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu
is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare
eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3
pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying
ā€œim trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut upā€
secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it
tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you
you: stop lying i know youā€™re a closet hopeless romanticĀ 
convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones
tsukishima when heā€™s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softlyĀ ā€œlove youā€Ā 
all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs withĀ 
kageyama tobio.
"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morningā€
kags really out here kinda hurtinā€™ your feelinā€™s ngl boy doesnā€™t understand the vibes LOL
honestly you probably woke him up, heā€™s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL)Ā 
only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and youā€™d toss a few for him....and also because heā€™s a little worried because itā€™s so dark out
doesnā€™t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL
he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything
ā€œyou know,,,,weā€™re not playing a game, right, tobio?ā€
ā€œyeah???? and??? whatā€™s your pointā€
acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because itā€™s cool out, thereā€™s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars
heā€™s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that heā€™ll ever say that though
you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasnā€™t even broken a sweat (ā€youā€™re already tired? maybe you should workout moreā€Ā ā€œshut UP kageyamaā€)
you both sit on the bench, and youā€™re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but theyā€™re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night
kageyama canā€™t take a hint. we know this. heā€™s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person
he doesnā€™t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesnā€™t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind
plus he doesnā€™t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks itā€™s obvious that he likes you
despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and heā€™s pretty protective of you, so youā€™re completely safe with him. trust him, heā€™ll keep you safe
all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves youĀ 
yamaguchi tadashi.
is in bed by 11pm but doesnā€™t actually go to sleep until two am because heā€™s scrolling through tiktok on his phone
sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that saysĀ ā€œill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)ā€
he walks all the way to your house, even if itā€™s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! heā€™s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence
despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you canā€™t tell me that he canā€™t read people in a heartbeat -- heā€™s extremely perceptiveĀ 
also texts you to not bring a jacket because heā€™s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell
he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman
lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listensĀ 
joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation
sees that thereā€™s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that youā€™re further away from the strangerĀ 
also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while
when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot
and damn, heā€™s right
itā€™s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit onĀ 
pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRGĀ 
is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you
you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what.Ā 
yamaguchi: ...because i love you?
you: *K.O*
all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3Ā 
hinata shoyo.
is either completely fast asleep and doesnā€™t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between
but if heā€™s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA
literally doesnā€™t even show up in sneakers. heā€™s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve topĀ 
ā€œi came in my pjsā€
ā€œi see that.ā€
asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesnā€™t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hourĀ 
he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comfortingĀ 
has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given
so, no, he doesnā€™t notice any weriod people even if there are some around
you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because letā€™s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads)Ā 
you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation(Ā ā€œshe asked me to marry you the other dayā€Ā ā€œdoirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHATā€Ā ā€œwhat? i told her i would. i keep my promises!ā€)
after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple
you share a sundae because you donā€™t want to eat too much this late at night
he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone
he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and itā€™s during this time where youā€™re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppostĀ 
he canā€™t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself
that he really will marry you one day
all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream
yachi hitoka.
another either or, except this time sheā€™s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day
when you ask if she can go on a walk with you sheā€™s hesitant because she doesnā€™t want to get in trouble with her mom and sheā€™s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes
you: good. iā€™m outside your door btw
yachi: i never had a choice did i
you have to meet her at her house because sheā€™s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because sheā€™s worried for you
jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself
instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesnā€™t hear what you say
so you offer to go to a little cafe thatā€™s still open and right away she nods
sheā€™s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late
and finally, because you two are safe, sheā€™s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie
awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours
canon: yachi totally has freckles and you canā€™t convince me otherwiseĀ 
her face is red and her freckles are just on display you canā€™t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?
you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her homeĀ 
and this time on the walk sheā€™s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers
does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3
you: stop. please. im going to die.
when youā€™re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside
video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safelyĀ 
all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanksĀ  Ā  Ā Ā 
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starshipsofstarlord Ā· 4 years ago
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Hey!!! I'm so glad you liked the blurb night idea :) šŸ’ž Can I request a blurb with Peter bumping into the reader while she's kinda lost at times square and he's dressed as spiderman so he tries to flirt with you, but it makes you laugh instead?
I loved the idea hun, thankyou sm for helping me with this idea xxx
ā€œYouā€™re a guy?ā€
Pairing | Peter Parker x reader
Summary | based on the request
Warnings | mentions of crime, brief mention of death and drugs, mention of sex
2K blurb masterlist
Quick link to my masterlist, if youā€™re interested in reading more of my crap šŸ˜¬
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ā€œAnd there was this girl. She was really pretty, but-ā€œ May quirked her head at her nephew, hardly understanding his blabber as he sped through his words like he was racing verbally against a cheetah, though, she was manage to uncover that particular sentence.
ā€œWhoa, slow down kiddo.ā€ His aunt laughed lightly, bracing her shoulders on his arms as he caught his overexcited breath. ā€œHow about you start from the beginning, and take a breath?ā€ May had much practice with calming the boy down, she sincerely remembered how that night his parents had dropped him off, how worried he had been for them not to return. And they didnā€™t.
Peter bobbed his head in a eager nod, doing as he was recommended by his legal guardian, puffing the air in through his cheeks, as he inhaled and exhaled normally through his nose.ā€œI was out patrolling the city, checking out for any bad guys, and then, I saw her...ā€ her, the girl that had captured his attention, and distracted him from his friendly neighbourhood duties. She was much like a magnet, pulling his north face into her axis spinning world, distracting him from the things that he was actually meant to be ensuring did not happen on his watch.
ā€œWerenā€™t you supposed to be patrolling?ā€ The elder of the two quirked a brow, earning a splutter of a response from the teenager under her roof. She wasnā€™t a strict guardian concerning his heroic antics, though, she made sure to keep him on track for his own sake. Peter had quite the tendency to become overrun with stress from the amounts of responsibilities that he took on, and him being only young did not help the situation.
ā€œIā€™m getting to that!ā€ He was fast to defend himself, huffing his chest in as he prepared to tell May his story, from the beginning. It was quite the tale, heā€™d say, combined with the embarrassment of his own presence entangled in the random and friendly interaction that he had felt promiscuously lulled to create.
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Queens, it was new to you. There were so many streets, filled to the brim with people that seemed to know where they were going. Unlike them, you didnā€™t, in fact, youā€™d go as far to admit that you were lost. Lost in a place that was known for the chaos that wrapped it off with a tarnished bow, and made the collateral practically fashion within its various newspapers that rounded every corner to divulge their companiesā€™ obscure theories.
A panicked look struck your eyes, as you turned, shaking your head and pressing through the mass of citizens and finding an empty lot, scrolling through your phone, diverting your attention quickly towards google maps. It was the only thing that you could think of, itā€™d be a shame if you were to disturb one of the many passersby from their clearly packed schedule; you did not need that, nor berating them on your conscience.
ā€œYou lost or something?ā€ A voice asked, making your shoulders jump as a figure, twisted in the colours red and blue, with a seam of black fell from the roofs above. Your heart rate imploded, more so when you realised who the mask wearing vigilante was. The wearer, although unknown, was infamous for the successions of saving lives that they had participated in, including defending the galaxy against outside threats.
It was Spiderman, the neighbourhood dubbed avenger, that tried their utmost to return stolen or lost bikes to their rightful owners, and protected banks from armed and overnight robberies. There was known to be something different about this particular hero, they were young and clearly had time to improve their skill set, for they were quite the clutz, and spoke significantly more to those he faced off against than what was necessary.
But this one hero, stood out amongst the rest. Not only was their suit designed by Stark technology, as you had written about in a work article, but it was far more concealing, and not to mention restricting, for the person beneath the red concoction to wear. Yes, you were in town for a new job, specifically to delve into the details that regards the world of heroes, and exploit all possible angles to how they deserved as much recognition for their stunts, as the president received for his noble speeches.
ā€œI-ā€œ you paused, think back over what you were preparing to say. It was without a doubt, that you had not expected the vigilante to appear in your spectacle gaze the first time that you stepped foot on the premises that he roamed, and protected. But here the spider enthusiast was, leaping down to stand beside you, burdening you with more knowledge that you could use, such as the person beneath was not as tall as you had expected, and there was definitely no way you could see their true eyes through the shallow white cases that covered them.
That was something you could write about, and make various descriptive theories about. ā€˜Seeing in white vision, sparked by the purity that glazed their unknown signature irises, Spider-Man halts all with the sparing of their true self. They may have reasons for shielding their eyes, much like Daredevil, not needing to see when they are overcome with various other senses that convulse their body into attentiveness,ā€ -no, that sounded absolutely terrible.
And not to mention, if you spread that horrid writing about, Murdoc would be ashamed of ever deciding to get your aid in uncovering the route of the villainous underworld, that had take over Hellā€™s Kitchen and turned it into their own ring for drugs and more. The battle of New York had many repercussions, that being one, another influencing you into the career choice of being said reporter that you now proclaimed yourself as.
ā€œYeah, I am.ā€ You responded with the company of a smile, and Peter swore he could feel his heart convulse beneath his suit. Itā€™s pace was vaguely rapid, disheartening him from thinking of any more to say, he was practically speechless. ā€œIā€™m looking for New York Times, you ever heard of it?ā€ Yes, he most definitely had, it was the average run of the mill newspaper company, though, he did not know that you intended to change that into something much more.
ā€œFunnily enough I have.ā€ He scratched the back of his head, his arm subconsciously flexing as he did so, feeling like he had failed as your eyes remained focused on the wideness of his suitā€™s intense eyes. ā€œItā€™s about three blocks from here, I could take you there if you want, I have nothing more to do.ā€ From his proclamation you quirked a brow, crossing your arms amusedly.
ā€œDonā€™t you have a city to watch over?ā€ You asked, watching as Spider-Manā€™s false eyes widened, and he visibly panicked, realising that you had been right. ā€œIā€™ll find my way, Iā€™ve been to New York, many a time, Queens is bound to be a piece of cake. Also, a map is always handy.ā€ A shrug rippled off your shoulders, Peter watching and walking closer as he thought of something more to add to the initial acquainting conversation.
ā€œIā€™m Spider-Man.ā€ Inwardly, and beneath his mask, Peter cringed noting how his voice rose, and it could be perceived as boasting. That though was definitely not his intent in the slightest, but he worried of how it may have come across to you. He wasnā€™t sure how you may have read it as, but a swarm of relief filled his lungs as he watched the corner of your eyes crinkle up, humoured by the tone of his that had significantly heightened. ā€œIm a guy by the way.ā€
He felt the need to state that, especially considering peopleā€™s perceptions in the past. But instantly after saying it, he was regretful, through, he had to admit, he enjoyed listening to you laugh, it was like a melody that he wanted to listen to until the end of time. ā€œYouā€™re a guy?ā€ You released a dramatic gasp, aiding your phoney response. ā€œYeah, no. I completely thought that you were a girl.ā€ Sarcasm, he had well gotten used to frequency of it thanks to Mr Stark, who... well, he wasnā€™t around any more.
ā€œYouā€™re funny.ā€ He smiled, shaking his head whence he realised that you could not see his hidden expression. ā€œI donā€™t know, maybe, would you like to go to coffee with me, if you have time before you have to get to the news place? I mean, I donā€™t drink that much coffee, I get told that if I have too much caffeine that I get a little hyper, but I mean, Iā€™m trying to ask you out and I have a really bad track record of-ā€œ
ā€œSure.ā€ You spoke, ignoring the map that had finally loaded onto the screen of your phone. It was to your luck that you werenā€™t required to make your presence known at the business until tomorrow, and there was always time to kill, so you thought screw it, and decided to find it so that you didnā€™t get lost the approaching day. ā€œAre you going to be wearing that, or you know, take it off?ā€ You pointed at him, making peter surprised.
ā€œItā€™s not that kind of date.ā€ He quickly responded. ā€œI meant just for a drink, not to hook up in the back of an a- oh, you meant the suit, didnā€™t you.ā€ With a roll of your eyes, you nodded, pursing your lips together, as Peter felt the rain of relief once more. ā€œOh, thatā€™s good, not that I wouldnā€™t want to, youā€™re gorgeous, that just wasnā€™t my intent and Iā€™m rambling again, arenā€™t I?ā€
ā€œBasically.ā€ You wrinkled your nose, with a laugh, the way you scrunched it up was adorable to Peter. ā€œSo Iā€™ll meet you here in two hours, Iā€™ll let you finish up your duties, and change into something that doesnā€™t make you look youā€™re wearing a thong, because I can tell you from experience that those things are not comfortable. That good for you Spidey?ā€
ā€œThat works.ā€ He spoke, trying his best to contain his overflowing excitement, biting his lip to do so. ā€œThat definitely works.ā€
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ā€œHi.ā€ The familiar voice of Spider-Man spoke, and you turned around, watching as a young man, not much different in age from yourself rounded the corner. He was clothed in a blue and white chequered flannel, and grey jeans, and you had to say, that whilst the amazing Spider-Man was quite the sight, this was something else.
ā€œOh, I was waiting for a girl actually.ā€ You informed him, clearly messing with him, as you walked closer, a stretching smile pinning up the corners of your lips. ā€œBut I guess youā€™ll do webslinger.ā€ He could feel his heart racing, but he walked closer, watching as you eyed him, a stranger met with the sight of a vigilante unmasked. ā€œWhere to, red and blue?ā€
ā€œThereā€™s this really good place on main, they sell the best sandwiches. And trust me, once you buy from there, you wonā€™t stop...ā€ the two of you began to walk away together, and towards Peterā€™s secret destination, where the two of you learnt the others real name.
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strawhatsweets Ā· 3 years ago
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golden
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Kenma x GN!reader
Im trying to stray away from my comfort zone of just writing readers that use she/her so bear with me
sorry if this lowkey sucks but it was inspired by harry styles song golden
cw: big cursing, huge fluff, strangers to friends to lovers, comfort, aged up!
come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in!
Requests are open!!
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Being a streamer comes with perks. Being comfy at home, not having to face people in real life every day, playing games, typical shit. Another perk is making good friends.
Meeting people on a voice chat is common for Kenma -guys and gals alike. What he wasnt expecting one night was the sweetest voice on the other end of his headphones.
"You're all fucks- I'm better at this game than all of you combined. Try me."
To think that was the sentence that made Kenma's ears perk up and burn.
"What the hell ever- we have the great Kodzuken on our side." One of the guys said, half joking half dead serious.
"Oh yeah, he isn't even speaking up to defend your pussy asses- probably knows I could beat him too." You could hear the smirk in that last part.
"U-uh, no. You can't beat me. Nobody can actually. Not at this game." Kenma rebutted , confident in his gaming skills but not so much his speaking skills to this stranger.
"Oh man, you certainly sound confident. Come on, Kodzuken- 1v1 me then. Show me who the best really is."
Kenma suddenly felt nervous. Should he really demolish this stranger? Isn't it polite to let the person you like win? He didn't like this person yet but god their voice was attractive.
"Fine. Send the request." He decided.
"Sent, fucker."
The game resulted in a tie because this stranger actually knew what they were doing. They both threw friendly insults at each other the whole time of course, making each of them laugh a little.
"Okay fine. The great Kodzuken himself almost beat me. Im almost honored to have a great streamer almost beat me."
"Well you almost beat me too- uh-" Kenma stuttered over the fact that he didn't know how to address this stranger.
"Oh! Call me Y/n." The person giggled.
"You can uh, call me Kenma."
"Oh you don't want me to repeat your title over and over like everyone else?" They laughed.
"No, friends don't call me that. They use my name name." His ears were burning.
"Friends, huh? Guess that means you owe me your number so we can schedule a rematch where I can properly beat your ass."
"Huh, guess so."
A few months had gone by and Y/n and Kenma were as close as they could be. They found out they live close by each other and began hanging out a lot.
Y/n would be in the back of his streams on occasion and wouldn't hesitate to speak up during them. Thats the thing about Y/n. They've always been so outspoken. Since the start. Everything they talk about comes so easy to Y/n. Nothing is held back. Kenma knows everything about them. He on the other hand is still a bit closed off. Quiet. The two are so opposite yet so alike. Kenma doesn't speak much about himself, opting to listen.
Especially when talking about past relationships.
One night, they were sat in Kenmas room in separate chairs, letting conversations flow.
"So, you've dated but why have the relationships ended?" Y/n asked.
"Ah, I dont know- its not important. Why did yours end?" Kenma flipped the question as he always does.
"One guy cheated," Y/n tossed a piece of popcorn in the air, missing their mouth and brushing it off. "One girl left because she was leaving for school, and one guy just didn't mesh with me. Your turn." Y/n pushed the question back.
"Uh- well. I don't click with people easily. I'm pretty closed off so when I date it usually ends in hurt feelings by accident or they get sick of me." Kenma finally admitted.
"Huh." Y/n flopped onto their stomach on the bed after setting down the popcorn. "Don't you like anyone though? Like- if you liked someone enough, do you think you would give opening up a shot?"
"I mean I guess. Nobody ever takes the time to...pry me open." That got a laugh out of Y/n. Good. "But yeah I do like someone."
Sitting up suddenly, Y/n became visibly excited.
"TELL ME WHO."
"No god no- it isnt important." Kenmas ears burned again.
"Come onnnnn. Its gotta be someone big time cool to earn your heart. I have to approve."
Y/n pulled Kenma from his chair to the bed, not letting go of his hand as he sat down.
"Theyre very cool- and very sweet. Understanding. Someone who stands up for me and makes me comfortable-" Kenma began gushing.
"Do I know them?" Y/n interrupted.
"Y-yeah. You sure do." Kenma scratched the back of his neck.
"Oooh ok, a guessing game. Describe them more- their looks!" Y/n held his hand tighter, bouncing up and down with excitement.
"Well- ok." Kenma took a deep breath and decided he could be vague enough. "Theyre short. As short if not shorter than me. Competitive. Very cute smile-"
"TOO VAGUE give me the JUICY DETAILS" Y/n pushed.
"They uh- they have..pretty eyes." He was staring at this point, eyes wandering around Y/ns face to find more things to describe. "cute nose too I guess. Squishy cheeks. Glasse-"
"WHO THE HELL IS IT KENMA- its starting to sound like youre describing me." Y/n laughed.
"No- I'm totally not!" Kenma rushed.
"Tell this person you like them. You look so happy when you talk about them. Its kind of sickening."
"I can't just do that." Kenma stated flatly.
"Yeah you can."
"No-"
"DO ITTTT. Nothing to be scared of- it's CUTE. They would be dumb to not like you."
Kenma sighed, knowing he couldn't tell Y/n the truth about who he liked. What does he usually do when he's put in a corner like this? Oh thats right-
"Who do you like then Y/n?" He asked, proud of himself for deflecting again.
"Oh thats easy. You." Y/n said, letting go of his hand and laying back on the bed, leaving Kenma sitting up and stunned.
"What? No I mean a crush idiot. Who do you liiikkkeee?" Kenma pushed, hoping he didn't hear Y/n wrong.
"You, Kenma. I've had a crush since our first tie in a game. Thought that was obvious-"
Kenma flopped back on the bed as well. The both of them looking at each other.
"Oh. My person is uh... really... open and honest." Kenma said quietly.
"Is that why you wont tell them?" Y/n asked just as hushed.
"Yeah... what if right now they say yes but then their feelings change one day? That would hurt so bad. Worse than not telling them ever." He whispered.
There was silence. They knew what they both just admitted. Kenmas heart started racing. This might've fucked everything up. He might lose them. But they like him too so why is he so scared?
Y/n held his hand again.
"I know that youre scared because I'm so open...but hey... If you wanna give it a try..." Y/n whispered, scared about whether or not their honesty fucked them over.
"You might be right this time Y/n." Kenma whispered.
The space between them was closed due to both of them being drawn together like magnets in that moment. A sweet kiss.
"Let's try it then. I'll work on... being more open if you'd like." Kenma said.
"Kenma. I dont want you to change one bit. I like you the way you are."
Acceptance. It was the best thing Kenma has ever felt.
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hyukmoon Ā· 3 years ago
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moon. | l.sy x gn!reader
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lee sangyeon x gn!reader
word count: about 4.01k
to put it short: congrats! Something you should actually say, right? Your best friend and crush is getting married in two days and you feel,... well, not very good about it. So, wait... he's returning the feelings? Damn.
content warning: ANGST in capital letters, I would add lots of exclamation points but im lazy. So yeah, hella angsty. Some good old making out, it's kind of heavy at some point but no smut at this point lol. I don't condone any of the done actions, so yeah, I would've personally handled everything differently, but you know, y/n is kinda wild. Very awkward sometimes, but that's more the situation in itself. ALSO, NOT PROOFREAD
taglist: @loki-in-hogwarts
note: the second thing i wrote and im somewhat excited!!! Yes! Exclamation points. So,... thanks for reading :)
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It was a great day. Well, at least seemingly for everyone but you. Your best friend in this world Sangyeon was about to get married to the love of his life, who is notyou and now you just stand in the hotel lobby waiting for it to happen. Funnily enough, the crushing feeling of desperation and fear didnā€™t seem to set in yet.
The hotel lobby was filled to the brim with acquaintances and other guests possibly confused by the uproar of the wedding guests. So, who were you specifically waiting for? The rest of your friend group, the ones who will most likely clean up after the wedding whatever will be left of you.
A nervous smile swept up to your lips, casually just avoiding every sort of tension that could come across you. Just with the luck of this entire occurrence an older woman started to approach you, demon alike features spreading around her face almost like she knew you were apparently the only single person here. An aunty, that wasnā€™t even related to you but had all the business to judge.
ā€œAre you here for the bride or the groom?ā€, her sweet voice rang a familiar feeling in your stomach. Almost too sweet, making you suspicious of her intent. ā€œIā€™m here for my best friend, Sangyeon. So, yeah, for the groom.ā€, you hesitated a second, ā€œWhat about you though? Do you know the bride?ā€
ā€œSheā€™s my youngest niece, the only one that still visits, her sisters donā€™t even care anymoreā€¦ā€ You nodded politely, not wanting to anger her now and stepped towards a different direction.
ā€œSo, my dear, are you here with anybody?ā€ You already feared that question, the same as always. The eyes of yours started with a panicked expression searching through the room a familiar pair. ā€œNo, I am here on my own. I kinda wanted to focus on getting Sangyeon through with it, being there for him.ā€ As a friend.
Possibly this was the first part of feeling despair and fear. People at this wedding were really waiting for them to get married. They werenā€™t joking, this would change everything.
ā€œAh, I see. You know, get over him. Well, it is time for you at least, youā€™re not getting younger. There are quite few handsome men here. I remember the names Juyeon and ah yes! Kevin, get over here!ā€ As far as you were concerned, your facial expression couldnā€™t possibly look more stunned than a moment ago, yet another one of your good friends appeared, seemingly just as confused.
This only held on for a good second, Kevin knew exactly what to do. ā€œOh hi, Iā€™m so sorry to steal [Y/N] away from you, but I actually need to talk to them on my own over a gift we both prepared for the couple!ā€, he grinned at the lady, who was obviously smitten with him. ā€œYes, of course, hun. Take your time.ā€ She finally hushed into a separate direction.
ā€œSo, how are we doing? You seem kindaā€¦ stressed.ā€
ā€œYou donā€™t sayā€, you sighed, ā€œif I have to go through a conversation like this again today, believe me Iā€™ll-. ā€œ
ā€œYeah, Iā€™m pretty sure I get the sentiment. Even though I meant more the other situation. Like in, Sangyeon getting married and you sitting here all grumpy because of it.ā€, Kevin was already aware of your ā€œsmallā€ infatuation with your best friend, a man too far out of your reach also funnily enough, the manā€™s wedding youā€™re attending. However, your friend in front of you didnā€™t seem to mind talking about it out loud in a place like the hotel lobby. Your lips tightened up into a fine line.
ā€œIā€™m not grumpy! I justā€¦I donā€™t really know what to do. I mean, I know Iā€™m going to be there for him but yeah, okay, I might feel a bit grumpy.ā€ The lobby did clear up a lot now.
ā€œOkay, oof. Thereā€™s this dinner with everyone in the evening today, do you think you can get through that?ā€, Kevin asked hesitantly just as stressed with this additional complication.
ā€œI mean, I probably have to, donā€™t I? This makes me so sick, ugh. Not gonna lie, my stomach feels like a laundry machine.ā€ You laughed quietly and drifted off again into a place where you didnā€™t need to think about this.
ā€œWhat did you really expect though? You know I love you, respectfully, but like, this feels like an incredibly bad move to do.ā€
ā€œDonā€™t you think it would be worse if I didnā€™t show up at all? Iā€™ll just need to go through this weekend and Iā€™m outta here. No one will know anything.ā€ It might feel like a nightmare but at least a nightmare you can actually run away from and not actually have to face at some point.
ā€œWell, I hope youā€™ll keep your confidence. Because imagine I saw the person, I love getting married to someone else. Oh my, believe me, you wouldnā€™t find me for the next three weeks.ā€
ā€œNot very helpful, a good three out of ten. I guess, Iā€™ll just stick to sulking around then.ā€ A dead smile crept up your lips following a stern look from your side at your opposite.
ā€œSeems like a good plan, just stick to me, maybe we will find someone to take your attention away from this, huh?ā€ A sly grin was visible on Kevā€™s face.
ā€œUghhh, of course. Letā€™s do this. It canā€™t get much worse than thatā€, you cleared your throat, ā€œthanks, though. You actually make this here somewhat bearable.ā€
ā€œAwww, come on. We should pack out our suitcases.ā€
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No one can really prepare someone for a moment like this. Most older folk turned into their hotel rooms which left you in a party like situation seeing your closest friends turning it up in a huge pavilion while the future groom sits comfortably on a velvety sofa hand in hand with his fiancƩe.
The air was quite warm even at this time of the evening, not humid, just warm enough for everyone to taste the end of this era with nostalgia and a slight feeling of energy to experience whatā€™s to come afterwards.
You as well sat down, continuously processing your environment. With a cup of your favorite drink, you felt invincible, nothing able to shake you down.
Now while this wasnā€™t a preferred environment, this was manageable; you could look your best friend into his eyes and proudly congratulate him on his wedding. You would be able to get over this and continue to be a great friend. Black hair with an intense facial expression made its way into your viewpoint along with a somewhat tipsy Kevin. Simultaneously the lighter hair of your best friend fought his way through the crowd.
Lee Sangyeon, the man lighting up your mood with simple touch of his fingertips was now signalizing for you to head outside towards the veranda of the pavilion. He exuded patience, yet clearly waiting for a response of you. You nodded and brushed cautiously over your evening attire.
ā€œHii, [Y/N]! Can I introduce this someone to you? This is Juyeon, he might look a bit intense, but heā€™s really nice to talk to! So, Iā€™m gone for a sec then!ā€ Kevin started drifting off into a different direction where you stopped him in his tracks.
ā€œCould this wait? Sangyeon needs to talk to me. I think itā€™s important, Iā€™ll come back though in a bit!ā€ You gifted both of them an apologetic face and made your way around the men towards the going to be groom.
Surely it wasnā€™t exactly clear why he wanted to speak to you, especially on his own. He was still waiting for you after all.
ā€œ[Y/N]! What has it been? Like three? Four months? I missed you so much.ā€, Sangyeon pulled you into his chest abruptly and sighed softly into your shoulder. Engulfed entirely in his figure you never wanted to wake up from this again. Was it now 10 seconds? 15 seconds? Neither he nor you really seemed to let go, taking in all the scents of his that were formerly familiar to you.
ā€œYeah, I think so. You were probably busy planning this all and I just had to work, I guess.ā€ Trying to keep it short was your main goal, appearing distant maybe. He didnā€™t mind at all though. Not discouraged from continuing this conversation Sangyeon pointed at the veranda, showing the only speck of space with little to no crowd.
The veranda was close to closed off to the party. Non distinguishable palm trees in the far distance were playing right into your cards for not having to look into his eyes. Magnetically glowing, thatā€™s how he appeared. All happy and smiley about the obvious luck he was experiencing. Now again, he sat down with you in the beach chairs without loosing a word.
ā€œThe palm trees are so pretty. You remember me wanting to buy some new plants?ā€, you tried to invite him to the conversation.
ā€œYou always want to buy new plants, which time do you mean?ā€ Sangyeon grinned to himself. ā€œYou know what? Itā€™s so weird. Everything feels still so unreal. This wedding, also you at my weddingā€¦ So weird.ā€
ā€œI am literally your best friend, where else should I be? Your funeral? At home? Who else is going to charm the hotel staff for some free capri suns and new towels?ā€ Your mouth crinkled up and you let out a soft laugh.
ā€œ[Y/N] ā€¦ You know exactly what I mean!ā€
ā€œNoo, not at all. Iā€™m so confused right now, not gonna lie.ā€ Your face finally moved towards his direction, seeing his gentle gaze resting on you.
ā€œDo you remember when we were still in school, and we promised each other we would marry each other if we didnā€™t find anybody else?ā€ His gaze got more intense with each sentence.
ā€œYeahh, kind of. I was probably tired and itā€™s like ten years ago. Iā€™m not really sure what youā€™re trying to tell me.ā€
ā€œI really thought I was going to marry you. For several years, actually.ā€, he laughed. ā€œI had such a crush on you and then you met your s/o and all that. Ughh, it seemed so complicated back then. Kind of weird to think about what could have happened if I did ask you out or something.ā€
ā€œTrue.ā€, you turned away again standing up and resting against the wooden railing of the pavilion. ā€œBut you didnā€™t so, letā€™s just drop it there.ā€ The weather as well started rebelling a bit, the wind hugging your figure slightly too tight for your taste.
ā€œWhy are you so cold all of a sudden?ā€, he whispered closely behind you.
ā€œWell, youā€™re getting married tomorrow. And youā€™re telling me about a crush you had on me?ā€, you croaked.
ā€œI was just being nostalgic, I thought this would be fine with you.ā€ Sangyeon appeared now next to you on the railing, waiting for you to face his concerned dark eyes.
ā€œIt isnā€™t for me. It just feels wrong.ā€
ā€œWhat feels so wrong about it? It was a long time ago.ā€
It is here, the bitterness. Bitterness shouldnā€™t even be the correct term, the pain of your heart going into a slump didnā€™t feel like a fitting word. Being reminded again that you will never have a chance again.
ā€œWait or is it not a long time ago for you?ā€, The voice of his tried to word his next sentence very carefully.
ā€œI went out with them because I thought you were joking. Then when I thought about you, it was always different. It was too late though, you met her.ā€ Only the close ocean along with the wind were hearable, neither you nor he were able to form another thought put into a sentence.
ā€œYou couldā€™ve told me. I wouldā€™ve-.ā€
ā€œBroken up with her?ā€
ā€œNo, I-.ā€
ā€œThen what could you have done?ā€, you interrupted Sangyeonā€™s rambling, trembling while speaking. Terribly spiteful with a bite that wasnā€™t too often dripping down your lips.
ā€œThis.ā€ Sangyeon pressed a fluttery kiss against your lips. Slender fingers tapped onto the skin right under your chin, signalizing you to look at him.
The now much calmer atmosphere made you snake your arms around his torso. Heat rose towards your head, longing after a second out in the cold again just to see his lovely facial expression. Your lips broke off and touched once more in an almost hypnotic fashion.
His hot breath started sliding downwards your cheek to your neck, physically making you unable to resist his entrancing presence. Also his hands broached over from your face down to your waist, holding you with the lightest touch.
Sangyeonā€™s lips darted away from yours, catching you staring deeply into his eyes. The silence felt warm now as well, filled with the slow and recovering breath of the participants.
ā€œ[Y/N], I think I still feel that way.ā€, a rosy blush swept over the manā€™s face you wanted to hear say these things so many times and so long ago.
ā€œNo. No. No. You shouldnā€™t! I shouldnā€™t either! I have to go.ā€ The reality of the situation caught up to you. This was bad. Incredibly bad. Still the disgusting feeling of hope within this made its way up to your head. Stinging alongside the feeling of remorse, you didnā€™t think clearly, especially now, next to him.
You darted in the fastest way possible from the pavilion up to the hotel to your room, leaving him there.
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Today should be the final day. The hopes that already should have been buried a long time ago, crawled up again and clawed its way into your mind. What if he leaves her for you today? Like in those unrealistic rom coms. Yes, again, it was unrealistic.
Leaving her at the altar and running after you. While all those thoughts of hope and wishes came together you found yourself with a stomachache. His fiancĆ©e was an incredibly nice person, sweet and kind along with being a beauty. You shouldnā€™t even dare to think about Sangyeon that way anymore, she deserved a lot more. Quite honestly, you felt pathetic. Who were you to run into their possible future?
Just because of a simple brush over the lips, his eyes staring into yours like no one else existed but you and his soft hands delicately touching your waist. A tap on your shoulder put you out of your trance, ā€œ[Y/N]? Can you go up to Sangyeonā€™s room? He asked for you.ā€ Kevinā€™s eyes glanced at you with uncertainty. Neither you nor he knew why he wanted to see you.
Even more importantly, why did he need to see you alone? This seemed like dangerous territory after, basically yesterday. Agony rose again, what if he really was going to leave her?
ā€œSure, I donā€™t know why he wants to see me again though.ā€, you said and left to see the groomā€™s room. You stumbled more and more over every step closer to the door of the man whoā€™s going to rip your heart and air out of your lungs. The normally soft laid out carpet felt in this moment like you were stepping barefoot over glass. There was the door, brightly painted in eggshell paired with the digits of the hotel room.
Before you could reach the door to knock on it, light brown waves greeted your overtly surprised face.
ā€œYou clean up well.ā€, Sangyeonā€™s rang in your ears clearer than freshly hung-up laundry in your nose. His previously concerned face curled up into a faint smile.
ā€œSame goes for youā€, you tried your best to hide the very apparent frog in your throat, ā€œSo, why do you need me?ā€
ā€œJust needed to see you before going out there, I guess.ā€, his voice got a lot quieter. It got silent.
Not sure if a said word was necessary, you plopped down on a small, velvety stool. Every whisper was to be heard. An otherness surrounded Sangyeon, like he wasnā€™t there anymore, and his thoughts took over his being. You scooted closer towards him, just wanting to see him up close for the last time like this, smelling his earthy cologne from this distance.
ā€œWhy are you doing this to me?ā€, your voice went close to hoarse after the question. He was just as silent as before. No sound, nothing. This torment of a weekend was supposed to end with no gratification, not feeling free from this feeling on your chest? Your hand slid over his, the most desperate attempt to get his attention while also experiencing his touch again. Sangyeon jerked his hand back and returned to his absent posture.
ā€œWhy do you want to hurt me like this? I am your best friend, and you use me like Iā€™m nothing.ā€ The lack of power you had now made you sink down to the beige teddy carpet. Small tears started swelling up in your nearly dry eyes, kind of contradictory, yet the more tear drops rolled down your cheeks the rottener and hollow you felt.
ā€œYou were my best friend until you-.ā€, he stopped midsentence, ā€œmade me feel things again I didnā€™t need, I didnā€™t want.ā€ Also his face was wet, ridden with tears making his usually calm and cheerful persona look like a painful insult.
ā€œYou asked me here. It hurts, Sangyeon. I canā€™t make it stop hurting, I donā€™t know what to doā€, you reached for him again, ā€œCould I ever be enough for you?ā€ He returned your former attempts to stroke your face. Cornering both of you, the air trapped you in the toxins of heartbreak and hopelessness.
Once again, Sangyeonā€™s hand glid over your soft skin and halted on your face. Glaringly staring into each otherā€™s eyes, you were there again. The day before, yesterday. Close to baring the soul of each person present.
ā€œ[Y/N], itā€™s not about being enough. It never has been. I have made a commitment I already broke, Iā€¦I canā€™t do thisā€, he sighed, ā€œyou know I love her.ā€
ā€œI thought you loved me as well.ā€ Overwhelming nothingness overruled you, almost scaring you about this reaction. You werenā€™t crying, yelling nor having any physical reaction at all. It was convincingly numb; the resting hurt would come later. Sangyeonā€™s head dropped in the dip of your shoulder and neck.
This sort of closeness would never happen again. You feeling him breathing into you while having his comforting heartbeat close to yours.
ā€œI do, but I canā€™t do this to her. I would never do this to her.ā€, he whispered into your shoulder. A sigh came from his side.
ā€œThen, please. Kiss me, for the last time.ā€ The last part of the sentence left a disgustingly bitter taste in your mouth. This was over, right? His head, which was formerly resting on your shoulder, drifted up and towards yours. Also his expression blank and hollow, like he didnā€™t know anything.
For the last time, his hands cupped your face in a comfortable manner. As always, he felt homely, but he surely wasnā€™t yours ever. Not even waiting a good second or two, the light brunetteā€™s face came closer to yours. With no hesitation both of your lips touched tenderly, releasing every sort of affection that could be expressed at that second. You inhaled again his intoxicating scent, in the hopes of having him all over you. His now reddened lips moved closer towards your jawline making you gasp for air.
Also, you werenā€™t completely still, constantly shifting your hands up and down over his torso upwards his neck, desperately feeling everything, you can for the last time. Sangyeonā€™s locks tickled you softly while he suddenly latched his mouth onto your neck right below your ear.
ā€œNo. Please, I just want a kiss on my lips.ā€, you said lowly, closely resembling a whine afterwards. He complied pretty quickly, leaving you with no thought but him tickling your bottom lip with his warm tongue. With him being this fast, you didnā€™t want to keep him on his toes. Entirely engaged in this moment, hands surprised you again on your waist, wandering closer and closer under the blouse you were wearing. You moaned into the kiss, making him take the opportunity to maneuver his tongue into your mouth.
Similarly to you, he was also stunned for a short moment when you grabbed up onto some strands of hair. A sigh left his now plump lips, a need of fresh air arrived onto both of you. Yet this was short lived, his hands captured your chin and attached his lips again onto yours in a matter of mere seconds. A bell rang, close footsteps to be heard across the floor reminding you of the situation you were in.
ā€œWhy am doing this? I am so sorry.ā€, you broke off his lips and took a step backwards at the door.
ā€œ[Y/N], we both did this, and it wonā€™t happen again. We just need some time without each other. I think it would be for the best if we donā€™t spend time together alone anymore.ā€
ā€œAre you doing what I think youā€™re doing? I donā€™t know what to say. I-.ā€, His lips captured yours again fast with a lot more force behind his kiss.
A strong arm shut the about to be opened door again and hovered over your head. The other one caught grabbed your chin with an almost contradictory feeling to it, the lightest touch just to shove you into his direction. You sighed into his lips, waiting for him to commit with his tongue one more time. Buttery lips pressed against yours and clang inside your mouth. Fiercely did your tongues meet, ending with him sucking on yours. Wet cheeks batting against each other with no intent of separating, your movement still came to a halt.
ā€œYou know what? I hate this. I want you to be happy, then if it is with her, I will just yā€™knowā€¦go or uhm mind my business.ā€, you slurred the last part. It wasnā€™t really one of your most prideful moments. Still flushed with tears and embarrassment you dropped again against the room door.
ā€œI ask for one condition though,ā€ incredibly hearse was your voice after the crying and even more so because of your follow up, ā€œI do not not want to see you for some time, I donā€™t want to have to see your face ever again.ā€ Tears werenā€™t anymore swelling up in your eyes, they never seemed to stop running down with no chance of leaving this conversation with an ounce of self-respect and pride.
It wasnā€™t even really much of a problem to leave him behind for a bit, it most likely would be for the best anyway, yet while his words should only leave a small mark and feel like a ripped off band aid, you felt alone. A sense of loneliness crept stealthily into you leaving you with nothing but a severe feeling of dread.
ā€œIf that is what you want, Iā€™ll respect that.ā€ The room got quieter till you heard the last of his words: ā€œOf course, I still want you in on my wedding though, youā€™re still my best friend.ā€ Sangyeonā€™s usual soft and kind smile appeared on his face, seemingly reaching you an olive branch. The former assertiveness and confidence drained through the conversation; you were nothing but a wreck.
ā€œAlright, Iā€™ll be there.ā€
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The ceremony was beautiful. Fairy like flowers were hung all across the beach space, making the place more surreal than it was to begin with. Everything light with a hint of light green and an even lighter lavender tone. The air seemed to have evaporated all the tension and sadness from your face. All across the seats were relatives and friends sitting with a nervously happy face. Ironically, he really thought it was going to be you someday.
ā€œYouā€™re [Y/N], right? Everyone always tried to introduce me to you. Now weā€™re sitting next to each other at Sangyeonā€™s wedding together! Iā€™m Juyeon by the way.ā€
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markitchi Ā· 4 years ago
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pile of headcanons
bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r
theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"
Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other
Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that
leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "ā™„šŸ’–my bubuā™„šŸ’•", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R
raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"
then leon changes rai's contact name too "šŸ„°raihoneyšŸ’–
leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)
sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him
yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it
raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"
raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend
raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no
raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"
but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc
so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way
raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind
raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon
raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake
Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer
Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them
leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats
leon : Kiss me or ill
raihan : u will what
leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine
raihan : no, now come here bubu
In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead
raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting
if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away
aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"
but all raihan do is just
raihan : bubu, no
leon : no..?
raihan : leon. no
leon : no...
then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation
leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result
the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan
for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone
league staff : mr rai-
raihan : is it leon
league staff : yes
raihan : im on my way
leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them
raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week
leon : ....yes..?
raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus
leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"
leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway
raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never
and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure
10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff
no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life
raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek
leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way
raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up
raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan
especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore
raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan
leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours
raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up
raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him
leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy
leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest
if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face
but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING
leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.
its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him
raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it
he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"
leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"
"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!
"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming
raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him
raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan
even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet
raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it
can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon
leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan
at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again
leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him
raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him
raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"
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samingtonwilson Ā· 5 years ago
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Mac and Cheese
Summary: Bucky takes the last box of frozen mac and cheese, takes your phone, andĀ makes you fall in love with him. The audacity of that man.
Prompt:Ā ā€œThis has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarketā€Ā 
Pairing: bucky x reader
a/n: i wrote this and was fully done formatting it and everything, like, 6 months ago. i didnā€™t post it because itā€™s approx. 82% nonsense but i figured why not post it now when itā€™s still 82% nonsense but im struggling to finish everything else. so taal, long time vegan, writes a story about mac and cheese and, listen, idk what this fic is either. can i write a fic without adding sam to it? no.
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Mac and cheese. Thatā€™s all you want. Disgusting, frozen, usually-quite-mushy-if-not-microwaved-correctly mac and fucking cheese.Ā 
The kind with the layer of cheese on top. The kind with that real elbow pasta, not rotini or penne or seashell pastaā€” real macaroni. The kind you try to only eat one serving size of before you eat everything in the package. The kind you always gravitate to when your eyes are stained red, swollen, and too proud to be anything other than dry.
You take the subway. You switch lines. You endure the smell of the F train during rush hour when you arenā€™t sure where your thigh ends and the thigh of the woman sitting beside you begins. All for that one Trader Joeā€™s, out of many, in Brooklyn the hipsters abandon before six because the coffee shop next door closes at five.
Your feet ache in your boots and youā€™re pretty sure a rock has somehow lodged itself between your toes, itā€™s starting to rain and you have no umbrella, you donā€™t think your throat has ever felt so parched.Ā 
But you tuck your phone into your back pocket and march into that store with the hideous overhead lighting that makes your skin look like it hasnā€™t seen a bottle of toner in days like youā€™re Hades, the box of mac and cheese is Persephone, and Trader Joeā€™s is Mount Olympus.
You arenā€™t planning on smiling at anyone in greeting. You arenā€™t planning on making eye contact with anyone. You arenā€™t even planning on waiting politely behind whoever is inevitably idly standing in front of the pasta section of the frozen aisleā€” youā€™re going to say, ā€œExcuse me.ā€ Like the badass, New Yorker, on-the-verge-of-tears bitch you are and youā€™re going to toss that mac and cheese into your basket like youā€™re Steph Curry at the NBA Finals.
Lines are long when you walk in, cashiers bored-looking and tired. The produce section is a jungle of stay at home fathers and people who make their own pressed juice, the salad display a mess of college students trying to eat healthy.Ā 
Your eyes accidentally meet those of a toddler who is slyly plucking a grape from a bag he had no intention of spending his allowance on and you smile.
You hold your basket like a designer handbag and dilly-dally only for a moment to pick up some yogurt for breakfast tomorrow.Ā 
And some inauthentic babka because thereā€™s no way in hell youā€™re going to endure Zabarā€™s after this.Ā 
And a package of olive oil popcorn, a bottle of three dollar chardonnay, and string cheese.Ā 
But thatā€™s it. Self-control.
You feel the chill of the frozen aisle before you step into it. You feel the magnetic pull of that box with only one step in its direction. You stop for just a second to grab the mini mango and cream pops.
You almost roll your eyes to yourself when you see that someone is indeed standing right in front of the frozen selection of pasta. Heā€™s staring at two boxesā€” a red one in his gloved left hand and the one in his right hand green.
As you grow closer you notice behind his curtain of dark hair that his eyebrows are knit together and heā€™s frowning at a decision he must be forcing himself to make.Ā 
Sophieā€™s Choice, but involving mediocre excuses for Italian food and no Nazisā€” hopefully. Because who really knows these days?
He wears a forest green hoodie under a black leather jacket, black jeans tight around thick thighs. Boots, too. You think you might swoon.
And you wait behind him. You tap your foot, shift your weight, and chew on your bottom lip. You donā€™t say anything.
He looks over his shoulder when you curse under your breath and set the heavy basket at your feet. Heā€™s apologeticā€” and handsomeā€” by the looks of it, blue eyes slightly widened and lips downturned. ā€œShit,ā€ he says as he takes a few steps to the right. ā€œIā€™m sorry.ā€
You shrug. You kick your basket with the toe of your boot until it lightly smacks against the bottom of the freezer. ā€œNo problem. Itā€™s a big decision.ā€
His eyes lift from the boxes and he smiles. ā€œBiggest one Iā€™ve gotten to make in a while.ā€
Setting your hands atop the cold metal railing, you stare down into the freezer. You see farfalle with roasted tomatoes, rigatoni with pesto, ricotta and spinach ravioli, roasted vegetable lasagna, cauliflower gnocchi, chicken parm, andā€¦ an empty space.Ā 
You tilt your head.
You lean away and crouch to read the description cards, looking for the bubble letters to tell you where on Earth your saving grace is. When you spot the card, you stand again. The indicated space is empty, your heart is empty, your will to live isā€”
A box of organic pesto tortellini is tossed back into the freezer and you look up. Your eyes might lose their prideful dryness at any moment, even in public next to that handsome stranger with the nice jacket and,
the box of mac and cheese.
You gasp audibly and leap backwards. You point at the box in his left hand.
With an expression of panic, he holds his handsā€” and the boxā€” up in innocence. ā€œItā€™s okay. Iā€™m notā€”ā€
ā€œWhat the fuck is that?ā€ you shout to gain the attention of customers you donā€™t even perceive, waggling your finger at the box. Your wide-eyed stare, and bared teeth, and messy hair must be terrifying. You hope they are.
He looks down at his hand. An eyebrow lifts. And, confusedly, he asks, ā€œThe box?ā€
ā€œYes, the fucking box!ā€
ā€œItā€™s mac andā€”ā€ he meets your gaze again. Youā€™re wearing your anger like armor. But you arenā€™t scared. Bucky thinks he might never have felt such relief at a womanā€™s anger. ā€œItā€™s mac and cheese.ā€
You shake your head. Wildly. Your neck hurts. ā€œItā€™s the last box of mac and cheese!ā€
He glances at the box, then back at you. He jabs his thumb over his shoulder. ā€œThey might have some in the backā€”ā€
You shake your head again. A hint of devastation cracks your voice as you say, ā€œItā€™s Monday night. Trader Joeā€™s restocks Tuesday night. This is usually all they have left.ā€
ā€œIā€”ā€ He pauses. ā€œIs this shit really that goodā€”ā€
ā€œNo, itā€™s not but thatā€™s not the point!ā€ youā€™re shouting again. And crying. Oh, God, youā€™re crying. In public. ā€œThe point is my building is going co-op!ā€
He tilts his head. ā€œYour building isā€”ā€
ā€œAnd I have to buy my apartment if I want to keep it! And they donā€™t give raises at my job to women unless theyā€™re willing to suck something I wonā€™t say in front of that kid right there,ā€ you nod toward a little girl in a pink raincoat with her pin straight black hair in pigtails who stares at you in bewilderment. You sniffle. ā€œSo I quit. And Iā€™m proud of myself for it. Because I have integrity, and I have self-respect, and I have no gag reflex, so the rejection should kill my boss dead.ā€
He cracks a small smile when you let out a short, watery, pathetic laugh. Easily, he holds the box out to you. ā€œI hope your boss is dead, too.ā€
You laugh again and donā€™t hesitate before taking the box. You wipe your cheeks with your sleeve. ā€œThank you. Youā€™re nice.ā€
ā€œNot a popular opinion, but one Iā€™ll certainly take.ā€ Heā€™s smiling and itā€™s warm. ā€œSorryā€” about all that.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re apologizing to me? I just screamed at you in the Trader Joeā€™s freezer aisle over mac and cheese.ā€
He shakes his head and picks up his own basket when you grab yours. ā€œYour buildingā€™s going co-op and your boss deserves to burn in hell. You should get all the mac and cheese you want.ā€
You reach into the freezer for that green box of tortellini heā€™d thrown in, tossing it into his basket with a smile. Steph Curry at the NBA Finals. ā€œStill. Iā€™m sorry for yelling and I hope the tortellini doesnā€™t suck too bad.ā€
ā€œItā€™s frozen pasta. My expectations are low.ā€
You hum a laugh and walk past him to the crowded lines at the registers. ā€œAs they should be.ā€
Itā€™s when youā€™re lost in the sea of customers and Bucky is deciding between frozen palak paneer and frozen lamb vindaloo with basmati rice that he feels a tug at the hem of his jacket.Ā 
He looks away from the green and orange boxes, lowering his gaze to meet curious almond-shaped eyes beneath blunt black bangs. He smiles and she returns it. ā€œYes?ā€
She reveals her right hand, which she had hidden behind her pink raincoat, and holds a phone up to Bucky as far as her arm will let her.
ā€œIs that your phone?ā€
She shakes her head and giggles. Loud, happy, and squeaky. ā€œYelling lady dropped her phone.ā€
Buckyā€™s eyebrows knit together until a woman, much closer to his height, steps behind the little girl. She takes the phone the girl holds out and offers it to Bucky when he straightens his posture. Her smile looks like the little girlā€™s. ā€œWe figured you would have a good chance at getting it back to her.ā€
He takes the phone and nods his thanks. Pressing the power button reveals a picture of you and a dog, a large, fluffy dog with its pink tongue hanging low. Youā€™re smiling brightly and, oddly, it seems like the dog is, too.
ā€”
ā€œSo you just took her phone? Didnā€™t even ask an employee to keep it there in case she came back for it?ā€
Bucky, watching the tray of pasta rotate in the microwave, scowls. ā€œI wouldā€™ve if Iā€™d known that was an option. And stop eating my fuckinā€™ chips.ā€
Sam tosses back another handful of kettle-cooked barbecue potato chips in defiance so the obnoxious crunching echoes through the kitchen. He smiles sarcastically when Bucky snatches the bag and rolls it up. Half is already gone. ā€œYou come up with how youā€™re gonna get it back to her?ā€
ā€œThinkinā€™ about asking Pepper to post a picture of it like itā€™s a missing child to that ā€˜Tweeterā€™ nonsense,ā€ Bucky replies dryly. Heā€™s glaring at Sam as he leans his hip against the counter. ā€œYou and I both know I havenā€™t come up with shit.ā€
Sam snorts and is smiling in amusement, deep brown eyes alight. Bucky hates the sight. ā€œTweeter. Youā€™re so fuckinā€™ old.ā€
Itā€™s been hours since Bucky took the phone from who he learned is little Vivienne and her mother, and he is no closer to getting it back to you.Ā 
Heā€™d tried looking for you at the store but there were too many people for a Trader Joeā€™s that Yelp claimed was the least busy in New York for that to yield results. So he returned to the Tower. He thought about asking Tony to look into the doohickey but figured an invasion of privacy should be the last resort.
He pulls the tray from the microwave with nimble vibranium fingers and sniffs the pasta before setting it down on the counter. He removes a bowl from one of the cabinets and dumps the steaming pasta in it, a sprinkle of freshly grated parmesan from a tub heā€™d boughtā€”Ā also at Trader Joeā€™sā€”Ā a finishing touch.
ā€œSheā€™s cute,ā€ Sam says when the screen lights up with an incoming text notification.
Bucky spins his fork between his fingers as he walks around the counter to sit on the barstool beside Samā€™s. He glances at the phone as well. ā€œVery cute,ā€ he agrees. ā€œShe had a shitty day. Something about her apartment goinā€™ co-op. Whatever the hell that means.ā€
Sam frowns. ā€œMeans sheā€™s gotta buy the place. And with New York real estate prices right now,ā€ he shakes his head with a sigh. ā€œShe better have a well-paying job.ā€
ā€œQuit that today, too.ā€ Bucky takes a bite of the pasta and hisses as it burns his tongue. ā€œBoss is a creep that asked for some action in exchange for a raise.ā€
ā€œJesus. Poor girl.ā€
The tortellini isnā€™t great. Itā€™s a little bland, a bit too dry, and there isnā€™t enough fillingā€” but itā€™s better than Bucky had expected. He takes another bite. ā€œYeah. And I took the last box of mac and cheese. Which is what she went to the store for.ā€
ā€œIā€™m surprised your head wasnā€™t chopped off.ā€
Bucky smiles. ā€œShe yelledā€” a lot. Was crying, too, ā€˜til she said something and made herself laugh.ā€
Sam then begins teasing Bucky juvenilely for having a crush until both men are laughing and shoving one another to see who falls off their stool first, Sam only relenting when Bucky hands the potato chips to him again as a peace offering.
The bowl is in the sink and the chips are down to just crumbs when a loud ringtoneā€” an instrumental version of an R&B song Bucky recognizes from Samā€™s many plays of the originalā€” shocks the two of them.
Itā€™s from an unknown number and Bucky is unsure if he should pick up until Sam swipes answer and puts the call on speakerphone. ā€œHello?ā€
A sigh. Bucky doesnā€™t know if itā€™s one of relief or frustration. ā€œIā€™m hoping whoever this is found my phone and didnā€™t steal it.ā€ Ā 
Sam shoves Buckyā€™s shoulder with a toothy grin and Bucky rolls his eyes. ā€œThe little girl you almost traumatized in the freezer aisle found it and gave it to me.ā€
Another sighā€” the relief in this one is obviousā€” and youā€™re laughing. ā€œItā€™s youā€” tortellini dude. Mustā€™ve fallen when I crouched down.ā€
ā€œSeems like it, yeah.ā€
ā€œSo are you gonna ask for my address or do I have to schlep over to Avengers Tower?ā€
Bucky and Sam exchange a look. ā€œAvengers Tower?ā€
ā€œYou werenā€™t exactly in disguiseā€” I realized who you are the minute I left the store. Wouldā€™ve recognized you right away but I was in my own head and you arenā€™t my favorite Avenger.ā€
Bucky smiles. ā€œYeah? And who is?ā€
ā€œFalcon.ā€
Immediately, the phone is taken from Buckyā€™s hand. ā€œHi, baby, youā€™ve got Falcon.ā€
A gasp, a pause, then you laugh. Audibly stunned laughter. ā€œYou guys actually hang out with each other? Thatā€™s cute.ā€
Before Sam can reply, Bucky flicks his foreheadā€” in reply to which Sam elbows Buckyā€™s ribsā€” and takes the phone back. ā€œI can bring your phone to you whenever youā€™re free.ā€
ā€œAwesome. Iā€™m unemployed now so any time tomorrow is fine.ā€
You tell him your address before hanging up and he wishes you a good night. Your laughter is the last thing he hears before three beeps signify the end of the call.
ā€”
Bucky takes the subway. He switches lines to the F train. He tries not to mind the overpowering smell of stale B.O. and deli meat leftover from rush hour, the skittering steps of a rat across the floor in the adjacent empty car. He ignores those who stare at him intensely enough to burn the fabric right off his skin. All for that one apartment in SoHo.
He thinks the gash below his ribs might still be leaking as the warm, moist subway station air blows past him. He can feel that cluster of bruises above his kneeā€” the one from the pipe the hostile operative had ripped off the rickety walls of a nearly destroyed Hydra baseā€” every time he takes a step, more so as he climbs the stairs.
He knows he must be quite a sight with combat boots and tac pants worn and dusty, a simple bomber jacket thrown over a ripped, sliced, stained compression tank. His mind is blank, his eyes shadowy, the ghost of something terrible lurking behind blue and grey.Ā 
Posture stiff and muscles cold, steps crisp despite the ache, he follows the familiar path and manages to form the thought of turning around. Not bringing this all to a thresholdā€” or, more accurately, a windowsillā€” heā€™s only crossed three or four times. Heā€™s too weak, though.
It takes one rap of his knuckles against the third-story window for a lamp to flicker on, gauzy drapes pushed aside. You smile as he lifts the window open, stepping aside as he enters the apartment with careful grace. He feels less guilty when he sees that your bed is still made and your hair isnā€™t the tangled mess it usually is when he bursts in at a late hour.
ā€œI have a door.ā€
ā€œOkay, show-off.ā€
Itā€™s when he steps into the light of the standing lamp in the roomā€™s corner that your quiet laughter gives way to a soft gasp.Ā 
He doesnā€™t like the widening of your eyes or the way you gently lift the right side of his jacket, fingers light against the torn fabric. But you laugh again, and it shakes in nervousness. ā€œYou know Iā€™m not a doctor, right? Or a nurse? Or even a pharmacist with high self-efficacy?ā€
He nods and, despite himself, thereā€™s a smile pulling at a corner of his lips. His eyes brighten a little. ā€œItā€™ll heal itself.ā€
ā€œConfidence. I like that in a burglar.ā€
Before he can take a step further into your bedroom, you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth and point at his feet. ā€œBoots.ā€
He kicks them off with a sigh and a groan when the shifting of his knee sends a tremor up his leg. His jacket is tossed aside as well, and he catches the black t-shirt you throw to him. Youā€™d washed it, folded it, and put it in your closet.Ā 
Just a little more brightness. ā€œYou owe me mac and cheese.ā€
ā€œOh, I owe you mac and cheese? Weā€™re really holding onto shit from four months ago?ā€
He nods again and pulls his tank off, withholding a wince.
Eyebrow raised, you cross your arms over your chest. Youā€™re giving him a narrow look but, because youā€™re clearly struggling against a smile, itā€™s one of his favorites of the expressions youā€™ve ever offered him.Ā 
You give him a towel nextā€” pastel blue. ā€œShower and then weā€™ll see about me owing you something.ā€
He wants to say thank you, do more than smile.Ā 
But he knows if he so much as opens his mouth while youā€™re looking at him the way you are, heā€™ll tell you heā€™s fallen in love with you over the last four months, that maybe heā€™s been in love since you screamed at him in the freezer section of Trade Joeā€™s.Ā 
Heā€™ll go to say thank you, but the words of a Byron poem heā€™d learned to impress a girl in his English class more than eighty years ago will come pouring out or heā€™ll simply kiss you like he wishes he could on the nights he canā€™t sleep or during the missions he can just barely endure.Ā 
Heā€™ll go to say thank you, and then tell you with no clarity whatsoever that youā€™re what he finds comfort in when heā€™s had a hard day. That the disgusting, mushy, nothing-compared-to-fresh mac and cheese is just an excuse.
But he just smiles. And nods. And takes a shower.
His hair is still wet as he stands across from you at the kitchen counter. Thereā€™s a bowl of steaming pasta between you, a spoon in his hand and a fork in yours. ā€œYouā€™re dripping onto the counter.ā€
With a cocking of his eyebrow, he shakes his head and you sputter a laugh, shoving his shoulder. ā€œBucky!ā€
He laughs then, fully and happily, as he reaches over to wipe the drops from your cheeks and forehead. You only smile back, the gleaming of your eyes making him feel warm all over.
ā€œThis shitā€™s terrible, by the way,ā€ he says after a minute of staring.
You shrug a shoulder. ā€œTold you.ā€
ā€œAnd you fought me for it. Publicly.ā€
You shrug again and laugh. You lean your elbows atop the counter to match his relaxed posture, dragging a noodle through a particularly large puddle of melted cheese.Ā 
Looking up, your nose nearly bumps Buckyā€™s and you hope he doesnā€™t hear your breath stall.Ā You try to smile. ā€œMakes me feel better when I need to fill that hole in my heart.ā€
ā€œWith cholesterol?ā€ he jokes.
ā€œYes. Itā€™s excellent. Itā€™s like spackle.ā€ As he laughs and you roll your eyes, you push off the counter to stand straight. ā€œIā€™m glad youā€™re back.ā€
ā€œYeah?ā€
You hum. ā€œIā€™m seeing an apartment I want tomorrow and need the rent lowered. And youā€™re the Winter Soldier.ā€
He considers that for a moment and you burst into laughter just as his eyes narrow into a fond glare. ā€œYou want me to scare them into lowering the rent?ā€
ā€œDonā€™t think of it as you scaring them,ā€ you begin, rounding the counter to stand next to him, hip leant against the marble, ā€œthink of it as you being an amazing friend and helping me.ā€ A moment later you add, ā€œBy scaring them.ā€
He chuckles and shakes his head. He glances at the bowl to avoid the risk of staring at you for too long. ā€œFine.ā€
You grin. ā€œYou really take no convincing.ā€
A snort and he meets your gaze. ā€œOnly when it comes to you. Iā€™m afraid youā€™ll start crying again.ā€
ā€œSo I could ask you for anything and youā€™d probably say yes?ā€
He shrugs a bit, then nods. Who is he kidding? You could ask for his right arm and heā€™d give it to you.
ā€œOkay. Go on a date with me then.ā€
Thereā€™s a pauseā€” in the conversation, in his chest. ā€œA what?ā€
ā€œA date. Itā€™s like dinner, or coffee, or a movie, or something.ā€ You grin when he takes half a step in your direction and his hands grip onto the counter at either side of you. ā€œItā€™s this thing people do when they like each other.ā€
Something much more than likeĀ is in the sparkling of your eyes and the tilt of your head. Something that might match exactly whatā€™s in his eyes whenever heā€™s around you. His insides burn at the thought.
ā€œI know what a date is.ā€
ā€œThey had those back in your day?ā€
He nods and leans forward. ā€œNot from the Stone Ages.ā€
Your lips brush lightly against his, hand set on his chest to feel the rapid beating beneath. You smile and he thinks he might melt. ā€œCouldā€™ve fooled me with that hair.ā€
Laughing, he presses his lips to yours a little harder.
ā€”
Apartment littered with unpacked boxes, misplaced books, and askew furniture, you sit on top of the counter where Bucky works. Heā€™s twirling a knife through his metal fingers, arranging sprigs of chives on the cutting board with the flesh ones.Ā 
He smiles when he catches you staring at the pan cooling on the stove. ā€œSā€™not done yet.ā€
You sigh. Loudly, heavily. ā€œYou took it out of the oven. That means itā€™s done.ā€
ā€œIt needs to cool for a few minutes or youā€™ll burn off your taste buds. You want to burn off your taste buds?ā€
ā€œYou want to burn off your taste buds?ā€ you repeat in a high-pitched, taunting voice. Youā€™re scowling and, somehow, look to be on the verge of snatching the knife from him to stab it through his chest. ā€œMaybe I do.ā€
Less than a minute later, you groan and add, ā€œI donā€™t care how good you are in bed. Iā€™m about ten seconds from dumping you.ā€
Swiftly, he chops the chives and turns around to sprinkle a bit into the baking dish. ā€œYou know, most people would say thank you.ā€
ā€œMost people donā€™t have to wait an hour while their boyfriend attempts to make mac and cheese when thereā€™s a perfectly good box in the freezer that would take four minutes.ā€
ā€œItā€™s worth it.ā€
In all honesty, he doesnā€™t know if itā€™s worth it.Ā 
Heā€™d asked Sam for a recipe and did his best to follow it despite the autocorrect which had changed ā€œgruyereā€ to ā€œgrape year.ā€ But he trusts it since Sam generally knows what heā€™s doing in the kitchen. Unlike Steve who had continuously attempted to chime in with useless suggestions such as, ā€œMaybe donā€™t add the paprika.ā€
ā€œJust trust me,ā€ he urges as if replying to the growling of your stomach which has interrupted his search for the plates he couldā€™ve sworn heā€™d unpacked. Heā€™s crouched and searching the lower cabinets as he adds, ā€œYouā€™ll fall in love with me after you try it.ā€Ā 
ā€œWho says I havenā€™t already?ā€Ā 
He stops searching.
He peeks his head above the edge of the counter and, his eyes wide, he sees you pulling two plates from a box placed on the small nook table. Your smile is small and a bit sheepishā€” the latter something heā€™d never seen from you.Ā 
ā€œYou never took them out,ā€ you tell him, the clatter of ceramic on the wooden surface loud when you set the plates down. As you approach and he stands to his full height, you sigh and roll your eyes at the look he gives you. ā€œYes, I love you. It canā€™t be that shocking.ā€
ā€œIt isnā€™t.ā€Ā 
ā€œSomeone should tell your face that.ā€
Chuckling over the heavy thumps in his chest, he leans forward to kiss you but pauses just to say,Ā ā€œI love you, too, by the way.ā€Ā 
When an empty dish sits between the two of you, Buckyā€™s stomach warm and full of over three-quarters of it, you stand from the table and walk to the freezer.Ā 
Shooting a smile over your shoulder, you grab the familiar red box and toss it into the stainless steel trash can. Steph Curry at the NBA Finals. ā€œIā€™m never eating that shit again.ā€
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voorbeees Ā· 4 years ago
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[ hi im back with a part 2 bc im a sappy bitch. you can read part one hereĀ ]
Jesse makes his way into the kitchen. Early mornings are a thing he's had to get used to and there doesn't seem to be enough coffee in the world to keep him awake. Sure he's typically awake for work, but he schedules appointments around the time he spends recouping from his nightly hobby. After all a business doesn't run itself. He thinks this, accompanied with a move to LA shortly after taking the girl in could play a large part in it.
Shortly after they'd arrived at the new home, Tilly had been thrilled to learn she had her own room and own things. Apparently that was another thing her mother had failed to provide. He wants to ask her what her life was like before, but each time he thinks to broach the subject something makes him shy away from it. Maybe it's for the best. Besides, considering what it was, Jesse's sure he'll feel fire settle in his veins. Not long after that he'd had her enrolled in a small private school. It was never too early to start an education. He's also taken it upon himself to start teaching her ASL. The decision was only made final when she had looked up at him with those puppy dog eyes and said the simple phrase "I wish we could talk better."
And that had been another thing, not once had she acted like he was a stranger. It was actually the opposite. She acted like she'd known him her whole life. Maybe that was good, it made breaking the ice less difficult, at least in his mind.
Now Jesse adjusts his black suit coat, making sure he looks dressed to a T, even if he is just going downstairs. He's always been one to preen, current circumstances haven't changed that at all. Black Oxfords echo off the marble floor and he's instantaneous met with the beaming face of Tilly.
"Jesse! Jesse!" She rushes from her seat at the dining room table and bounces around his legs. Her tiny red curls dance about her shoulders in the process. She wastes no time in asking for her favorite thing, which is only made obvious a split second later when she holds her arms up, waiting to be picked up.
He picks her up with ease, acting like she weighs nothing (and to him she probably does). Her tiny arms wrap around his neck. She's made it clear she enjoys being at his height. Tilly pulls out of the hug a second later and starts flapping a tiny arm in the air. "I've been practicing with my writing!" She beams, little face begging for approval. He'd be cruel to deny her that so Jesse nods and walks the both of them back over to the table. Tilly wiggles herself out of his grasp just enough so she can grab the paper and shove it in his face.
It takes his eye a moment to focus and he has to hold the paper back a bit but sure enough, there in a child's scrappy handwriting is her name repeated at least ten times. Her statement is met with a slow nod of approval.
"Oh!" She finally makes the effort to remove herself from his arms and settle back into her chair. "Maybe I can try writing your name next?" It's a question but he knows what she's implying and its not a moment later that he pulls his phone out. He spends a moment typing on it and then turns it around to face her.
J-E-S-S-E
An amused look settles on his scarred face as he sees her focusing all her attention to write his name. Her tongue pokes out of the left side of her mouth as she finishes the last letter and holds it up, rather proud of herself.
It's messy but it's a cute gesture, so he takes it from her and pins it to the fridge with a magnet. That earns him a squeal of delight. The excitement is short lived as she goes back to her task. Jesse takes the opportunity to finally pour himself a cup of coffee.
' YOU'RE SPENDING THE DAY WITH SPANN. ' He hasn't actually left her alone yet. At least not that she knows. He's made sure to always leave when she's asleep, a caretaker there if something was to arise in his absence. The last thing he wants is for Tilly to think he's abandoning her.
"Why?" She asks as she looks up at him and then goes back to her work.
' I HAVE...BUSINESS. ' If you can consider visiting a plastic surgeon business. It's something he's wanted to do since he first saw what was once his "face". But Spann and the doctors had highly discouraged any reconstruction until the scars were fully healed. All in all it had added up to almost a year's time and it had been nothing but pure hell. Not that he cared what people thought when they saw him, more so he cared what he saw when he looked at himself in the mirror. It wasn't good. Hell, for the first several months he'd busted every mirror within five feet of him, going so far as to have them removed from places of his organization that had them. It'd been a touchy subject and not many could breach it.
Jesse remembers when Tilly saw his face for the first time. It had been the next day and it was on accident. He wasn't planning on showing the mangled part of himself until she seemed comfortable around him. But she had walked in on him in his home office. He'd been sitting at his desk, mask safety packed away in the chrome case. She was supposed to be sleeping and much to his horror when he had looked up, she wasn't. Instead she was standing in the doorway with wide eyes. He'd frozen like a deer in headlights. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Was she scared of him? Fuck, he'd be scared of himself. It's not like he even looked human anymore. He sat there for what felt like an eternity, unmoving until she walked forward. "You got hurt bad, huh?" She hadn't looked at him in disgust, but rather understanding. It was like it was the most common thing to ever happen. Tilly had come up and stood in front of him. "I got hurt one time too." She pulled her hair back to show a small indention on her forehead. "I hit my head and it left a really big spot." Something about that small stupid child gesture had made him laugh. It had demolished the wall he had built, afraid of traumatizing her.
Tilly lays her pencil down and looks up at Jesse now. To only be six she's intuitive. She can tell by the way he grips the handle of the mug and shifts his weight slightly that something is off. Usually its "I have work." Not "business." It's an odd choice of words. So she does what kids do best, she bombards him with fucking questions. "What kind?"
' BUSINESS. '
There's that word again. No matter how hard she tries, she just can't fucking pick out the problem. "Can I come?" Jesse shakes his head 'no.' A tiny frown creases her brow. "Do you have to go to the doctor?" Suddenly she gasps, standing up in her chair. "Are you sick!?"
Jesse's signing and shaking his head 'no' before he can stop himself. It's not hard to tell she's working herself up. Fuck, the last thing he wants right now or at all is her to he upset.
"Are-are you going for your face?" Tilly sniffles and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. Of course he fucking is, why else would he go to a god damned doctor. He obviously can't say it like that so he nods. "Bu-but there's nothing wrong with it!" Now she's just being polite, Jesse's sure of it. But the logical part of his brain says no, she's upset because she fucking cares about you you god damned fool. "What i-if I don't know who you are after? Because you lo-ook different?!" At that she breaks into full on hysteria. There's a few other words but Jesse can't make them out. It just all sounds garbled to him.
He considers pulling his phone out again but settles for a different approach. Jesse lowers himself on to one knee a few inches from her perch in the chair. He signs "hush" and "okay". Those are the easiest ones she's able to read but she just shakes her head crying even harder. "It's no-ot okay!" There's a hiccup added after she finishes speaking and for a split second Jesse thinks she's going to suffocate on her own tears. He blinks several times, actually taken aback by just how upset she is over this. This is a good thing not a bad one. He's going to look better but she doesn't want that. Of course he understands the whole "changing of features" process but it's still him. It's not like he's cutting off one of his fucking hands.
" It will be okay. " His hand hovers over her back like it's debating if it should offer comfort or not. Instead the decision is made for him as Tilly wipes at her eyes and sniffles.
"You don't know that!" There's a long pause and for a second Jesse thinks she's going to start bawling again, but she doesn't. Instead she looks up at him and the intensity in that stare almost has him drawing back. There's something in it. Love? Impossible. People don't love him, they tolerate him. Or rather he pays them to tolerate him. Tilly blinks once, then twice and yes, he sees it now. It's a mixture of love and adoration. Something almost foreign to him. "What if something happens?" Her tiny lip quivers. "Who will I have then?"
Fuckfuckfuckfuck. His mind draws a blank. There's no way for him to completely assure something won't happen. Granted people don't usually die from plastic surgeon, though he guesses it's possible. ' IT WON'T. I WILL STILL BE HERE. ' The phone's electronic voice drones out into the air. That's not what he wants to say. Jesse wants to say this huge fucking essay of why she doesn't need to worry but sometimes the simplest answers are the best.
"Promise?"
' YES. '
--------------
Blinding light sears his brown eye as it flutters open. Are lights always this bright? He doesn't think so. If they are then he's definitely paying someone to dim all the ones in his house. Because Jesus fuck that's a horrible thing to wake up to. Jesse blinks a few times then lets out a sigh. He can't feel his face (which, God willing, with strong as fuck drugs he won't have to until it heals).
It's only after he's been awake for an hour or two that he turns to the door at his right and sees Spann standing there, Tilly's small wide eyed form in front of her. He offers a shakey wave as a greeting. Tilly looks up at Spann, who nods and urges her in then steps back out to answer a call. Jesse thinks she looks even more comical like this. She's acting like he's a porcelain doll that could break at the lightest touch.
Tilly rests her tiny arms on his bedside. "Do you feel better?" Jesse gives her a so-so response with his hand. She takes this as privilege to climb her way up into the bed beside him, her tiny form looking even smaller near him. "Well," her forehead wrinkles, "you don't look different."
Now he is laughing. His shoulders shaking as an indicator. She looks at him before deciding to curl up next to him, her tiny head on his shoulder. "I still love you anyway. Even if you look like a mummy."
Jesse signs. " I love you too, squirt. "
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yodamn Ā· 4 years ago
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Comfort
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This is something I just thought up, enjoy!
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Thank God for your parents. Them having other children after you gave you the perfect amount of experience to handle the situation you were in. Your younger brothers, specifically, have helped you unknowingly.
There in front of you stands a Clone. But not just any clone. Marshal. Commander. Cody. THE Marshal Commander Cody. You aren't one of his brothers, you're just an officer delegated to Communications and occasionally getting one very finicky control console to work who, despite not being sentient, only works for you. Thanks Dad for teaching me some of your Mechanical Know-How. But anyway...
Marshal Commander Cody. SIC to General Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi. A highly skilled man. Trained to be able to take droids, or people, down extremely easily. Even though some people look down on clones not ONE person can say something bad about Cody in front of his face. Hes intimidating. He commands respect from COUNTLESS clones and he.
Hes got the same look your little brother gets after a really bad day at school.
Eyes glazed with just enough water to seem wet but not to the point of tears, blank stare through time and space. His posture isnt different but he probably is used to having to hide in his helmet. The ever so slight quiver of his bottom lip, most people wouldnt even notice. But you do. You always do. Its the exact same expression. And you can read it like a book. That faces says that he really just wants to be hugged tight and told its gonna be okay and go to sleep but hes not gonna ask for it. Hes hiding it well but youre used to seeing the signs. Sometimes your little brother, Gil, doesnt know how to ask when he needs help. He pushes people away. And your parents do their best, but they've got four other kids and their jobs, they don't catch everything. So then it becomes big sister to the rescue. Who had the time, patience, and energy to help.
And it seems like noone else notices whats happening to the Marshal Commander. You pay attention to the briefing of course but also keeping an eye on Cody. After the briefing youre just close enough to hear Cody dismiss himself as well, saying that he needed to get some work done. At that the plan is set into action. First stop? The Officer Lounge. You grab a cup of caf and put a lid on it. You stop by the officer barracks and grab the nice blanket your mom sent in a care package and swiftly continue towards the Clone Barracks.
There are horror stories told about the Clone Barracks by officers. That they'll eat you alive. That once a new recruit wandered in and was never seen again. Stupid things. But that doesnt mean walking into a hallway of barracks where you really stick out isnt scary. Their gazes are burning into you at all angles, curiosity, confusion, the occasional glare. You finally found the Commanders door. Looking both way you knock first. No answer. You know hes in there because the light of the pad beside you is on. Indicating someone is inside. You knock twice more with the same result. A sigh leaves your lips and you weigh your options.
Open the door yourself and possibly get yelled at. Potentially invade his privacy. Or leave and forget any of this happened. The second option seems more appealing. But then you remember why you came. Seeing his face in your memory. The look of pain in his eyes. Seeing your little brother in him, despite the commander being three times his size and much more intimidating than your dorky little brother. Taking a deep breath to steele yourself you gently and slowly open the door. Hes sitting on his bed. Head in his hands. In the dark. Just like Gil. And a gruff voice calls out.
"What do you want"
"Commander Cody?"
Apparently not the voice he was expecting because his head shot up.
"Can I help you? Is there something you need? I'm sure that-" you cut him off with a wave of your hand.
"No! No I dont need anything, its just," you sighed, no going back, "At the briefing today you seemed a little off, I thought you might need a little pick me up?" You offered with the still hot caf held out to him.
"I brought you some caf, and my extra blanket, its weighted and it always helps me so if you wanna borrow it..." You trailed looking away and then back to see him still staring at you.
"But! Thats-thats only if you want to, you dont have to I just, it helps me and I wanted to..." you stuttered and rambled while flailing your own free hand around.
"Thank you"
You stopped and stared at the man. The look was back. And oh how it hurt.
"I-Thank you, that's very thoughtful" Cody furrowed his eyebrows and scratched the back of his head. You extended the caf to him again, he took it and just held it in his hands.
"How-how did you know? How could you tell?" He asked, oh so softly. Running a hand down your cheek you gesture to the bed next to him and he nods and scoots over.
"Uh, well" you start and sit on the cot, you place the blanket down next to him and think back to Gil, "I'm the oldest of 5 kids in my family, and my parents try their best. But they dont always catch everything, what with having five kids and my mom and dad own a business and other family issues" you explain.
"Sometimes I step in to help, I dont have to. But I care, and they are important to me", you smile thinking about your younger siblings. Your parents were always so adamant about you not having to help. But at one point your grandfather got sick, had to come live with you. You wanted to step in to alleviate the stress. You lean back against the metal walls and looked at Cody.
"And you, sir", knocking your hand against the plastoid of his armored arm you shift to fully face him, "You had the same face that my little brother makes when hes had a really tough day and just wants to talk about it"
Cody chuckled taking a sip from the caf.
"Sorry if its not all that good, its just the caf they supply officers and I also dont know how you like your caf so..."
"No, no its fine, thank you" he whispers, he's so tired. You can see it in the way his eyelids flutter. "I can't really talk about what I do, it's confidential" hes slouching where he sits, soon you can see his head slightly bopping up and down. Resisting the pull of sleep.
"That's fine, you dont have to" you reassure patting him on the arm, you lightly rub your thumb in the crease between the armor and his blacks.
"Can you tell me about yourself then? Whats your favorite caf? Do you like bolo-ball?" You ask quietly, you move to sit in front of him on the floor. By slowly lowering your voice you should be able to get Cody to relax and fall asleep, it works for your. The big commander humms and slowly explains that he likes his caf with sugar but never can find any so he drinks it black mostly. He, like most of the clones, are loyal to the Corosaunt team. His voice getting softer and softer with yours as he went on. You hummed sweetly and looked at his armor. That can't be comfortable to sleep in.
Tapping your finger on his knee plate, and unfortunately reeling him back out of the sweet embrace of sleep. You ask if you can remove his armor, following that you didn't have to if he didn't want you to . Cody nods drowsily and croaks a yes out. You perch on your knees and begin to fumble with his leg armor.
"Please Cody, tell me more about Waxer and Boil" you prod gently while slipping your fingers into the magnetic locks. You had a nurse friend who had often had to remove armor from the clones due to them being unconscious. He had complained about how sometimes the locks would stick and explained how to get them unstuck. Not that you needed to know at the time, but it was useful right now.
Cody rambled on about Waxer and Boil and how sometimes Obi Wan would loose his lightsaber in battle.
He pouted, "Its rich because he always, always says 'The lightsaber is your life' to Skywalker..."
You giggle and stand up, he sighs and goes to lay back on the bed. Drunk in exhaustion. You had removed most of his armor, him removing things you couldn't.
He inhales and looks back at you, having sat back down next to the head of the bed. Cody lets out a sigh and continues to ramble, at this point his words are getting mixed up and jumbled. He had begun to explain how he got upset at all the paperwork he had to do and battle plans to make and military personnel to kiss up to, but you stopped him.
"Thats confidential remember?" You whispered, brushing a stray hair away.
"Thas right, you" he clumsily pointed up to you, "youre a good person"
Smiling you grab his hand and bring it to lay on his chest, "Thank you Cody, so are you" you softly pet his hand.
He turns onto his side and ever so slowly you see him slip into a peaceful sleep. You stand and lightly laid your blanket over him. It was muscle memory. Remembering all the times your parents had to work late or were focused on helping a sibling or relative that was sick and you had to put the others to bed. You tucked Cody in and gingerly lifting his head to move his pillow under him. After making sure he was covered you laid a kiss on his temple. Youre eyes snapped open and you tensed your back.
Why did I do that? You looked down at the man and he was still peacefully sleeping. Shaking your head you sighed, stupid muscle memory. You moved the cup of cold caf further on the nightstand next to his bed just incase her flailed an arm and he knocked it over. You brushed hair from his eyes once more before moving towards the door. Opening the door just enough for you to slip thru you turn down the lights and leave, shutting the door on your way out. Turning you bump into Obi Wan.
"Oh! Im so sorry General" You quietly stutter before moving past him.
"Oh please, I shouldnt have snuck up on you" he assures, "I must say thank you though, I noticed what you did"
Flushing you nod and continue out of the barracks.
The next day you wake up and go through all your duties. You had to make the control console work three times because it decided today wasnt a good day. Some shiny bumped into you in the mess, spilling all your food over you. You had assured him it was fine. All of your clothes were dirty so you had to continue the day with slightly gravy soaked clothes. Over all the day wasnt very good, and you just wanted to go to sleep.
You walk into the Officer barracks stripping down your uniform and tossing it. You washed all of the sticky feeling off of you, changed, and went to just pass out. Once you reached your bunk you see a piping hot caf on the nightstand and her blanket folded on her bed. Laying neatly on the blanket was a card. Opening it showed a simple message.
'Thank you, if you ever need anything dont hesitate to let me know
- Marshall Commander Cody'
You smile and curl up on your bed with the caf and your blanket. You can tell this is the begining of a beautiful friendship.
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yyxgin Ā· 3 years ago
Note
a lot has happened at work recently!! but who cares bleh. libra season!!! which means bday celebrations!! except iā€™m at work BOO šŸ‘Ž and my two assistant managers have officially left (iā€™m helping them move on wednesday) and they were probably the only two who knew when my bday was apart from my supervisor but heā€™s gone to a different branch to train to be an assistant manager before coming back so iā€™m super bummed bc now i have to deal w al the new staff by myself šŸ˜­
also one of the ladies in kp read my palms?? and she told me i spend too much money impulsively which isnā€™t falseā€¦ but i have to spend money impulsively or if spend none at all (which is good for saving ig) but iā€™d also be doing nothing other than working and that would make me sad lol. she also told me bc iā€™m a libra this month iā€™ll be unlucky with love but lucky with money so šŸ„ŗšŸ™šŸ™ i was having a relatively bad day that day so she was cheering me up n all of that.
did i tell you when my txt and skz albums came, they also came like a week or two later (again) bc theyā€™d accidentally doubled up my order? it was like heaven with skz bc changbin baby is my ult n he was in some of the pulls for the second album šŸ„µšŸ„µ the limited edition of no easy confuses me bc itā€™s not like the last one of theirs i bought and typically groups stick to a style when they design albums like mamamoo are all in these cute magnetic flip box thingies and nctā€™s are all little books type things as well as txtā€™s but skz switched it up and thereā€™s a fair bit of loose stuff? but itā€™s okay bc i have two posters n all of the mini flip card things for the members and some bangchan (iā€™m gifted in pulling chan).
im also hopefully getting a car?? the barman hasnā€™t gone to prison yet bc the court keep moving his sentencing date(s?) so when i discussed this w my mum she said theyā€™ll probably throw it out and relief filled me!! but ik i shouldnā€™t be so hopeful but at the same time itā€™s like why would you mess someone around so much? anyway iā€™ll move on, i wanted to drop him home in my car bc he deserves a lift everyday what a sweetheartā£ļø my co-worker facetimed me today as it was my day off and i said hi to everyone it was so heartwarming to see everyone missing me but also not bc my manager overworks me and he knows that after this weekend šŸ’‰šŸ©ø
im jumping about with my points and things i want to say but iā€™m horrible at internet friends so this is okay for me as recently iā€™ve just not had energy for any friends which is awful of me but iā€™m still trying to find the balance between work and social. also everyoneā€™s gone to uni and iā€™m just chilling. i like my life.
i want to redecorate my room. i donā€™t like the vibe other than when people compliment my kpop wall bc itā€™s a bunch of my art and then other peoples art and i thoroughly enjoy decorating w pictures and stickers and stuff but itā€™s literally just a door and itā€™s depresses me that my happiness is reduced to the back of a singular door now. i want to redo the vibe in my room and make it more me. iā€™ve never felt comfortable until recently and even now iā€™m going back to feeling uncomfy now that i know i want it a certain way and to give a certain vibe. idk, maybe itā€™s bc i watched sex education and seeing lilyā€™s room in the most recent season (i wonā€™t say much more in case you are watching/havenā€™t seen it yet) really made me realise i want to love myself and love the space i create for myself more. do you enjoy your space youā€™ve created for yourself? i always feel like peoples rooms say a lot about them as a person but how they see their room in their own eyes always says more.
i want to ask loads of questions and am awful at asking them so please just tell me everything i missed or should be updated on!! ily, always
~ šŸŒ»
LIBRA SEASON !!! omg did i ask you when's your bday ?? i hope i didn't miss it. >:( happy birthday !!!! you deserve so much love. also, i'm sorry about your managers leaving. dealing with new staff is hella stressful and i hope you don't have to have too much responsibility and nerves <3
ooh palm readings are hella interesting. i've never had one but i think i'd like to try. spending money impulsively isn't a bad thing, if it's not an irresponsible spending. and if it is,, well who cares. yolo. i feel you on that tho, bc even tho i am really stingy w money, sometimes i just buy stuff i don't need and act on impulse.
OMG THAT IS A DREAM ?? getting free albums ?? (at least i hope they were free lmao). i like it when groups stick to one type of packaging although i must say i dont like the book thingies nct uses bc there is no magnetic part so it falls apart on my shelf and i hate that. i acutally like the sleeve packaging txt's albums have ?? everyone seems to bitch abt it on tiktok but i find it the most conveniet. also i'm glad changbin came home to you <3
YAAAY TO THE CAR !! AND ALSO TO YOUR COWORKER. i am praying he won't have to go, then, i am really hopeful. he is a sweet soul and doesn't deserve that. pleeease don't put up with your boss overworking you. take care of yourself :(
YOURE NOT HORRIBLE AT INTERNET FRIENDS we are besties. okay ??? and its totally okay to have no energy for friends as well, bc as you can see, i am struggling as well recently. it took me so long to reply to this ask and i feel so bad but it is what it is :// social battery has been low and i am busy with studying and work and trying to put my shit together. i am rooting for you !! <3
go for the decorating !! i actually haven't watched sex education and am not planning on watching so i dont really understand what you mean, but i hope you get to create a space for yourself when you feel free and comfortable. i share a room with my brother so its kind of difficult to decorate it how i want it, but i honestly like sharing a room tbh. he's not here half the time anyway so it's good to see him at least when we go to sleep lmao. but i have a bunch of stuff in my corner that are kpop and my side is full of plants, so i feel good surrounded by them hihi. i like it here.
i don't have many updates. i am actually living a very boring life, so i have nothing to share. preparing for graduation exams has been making me anxious and also depressed with everything that's been going on lately, but it's okay. i'll pull myself together <3 i love you a lot, take care !! i missed you
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anandasamsara Ā· 3 years ago
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Okay, iā€™m going crazy here thinking about this, i cant just dump that on my friends bc they all busy with their lives and jobs, and saturday is a long time coming so i cant scream it all out on therapy yet.
I found a house. Itā€™s kinda shitty, very small, cheap-y and probably not that structurally sound. Itā€™s also probably an illegal construction that someone exploited. Itā€™s in a very poorly planned villa (or whatever it is called in english). But i fell in love with it and i need to move there. I fucking remade the whole thing on the sims so i could play-plan how i would decorate it.
Itā€™s also near my best friendā€™s house, so thats a plus and a half for safety and comfort reasons.
It has an open plan kitchen/living room that is about 2x3m, maybe less. Probably less. It has only one room, but it looks okay-ish sized and IT HAS A MINI VERANDA, which you can see that i love more than anything else, with half a view of the street and full wall glass doors/windows set. Probs 2x2,5m counting the mini veranda. The bathroom is a literal square, maybe 1,5x1,5m, but it does have a nice shower space. On the outside, theoretically the washing tank belongs to the house, even tho it is literally outside on the mini patio.
Imma show you the pics bc i gotta rant about this more:
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The front.
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The mini patio outside.
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The view of the house itself. Itā€™s on the ā€œsecond levelā€ of the place.
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The outside washing tank.
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The living room.
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The kitchen.
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The bedroom.
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The mini veranda (more like micro) with a view to the street.
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Hallway to the bathroom.
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The shower.
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The rest of the bathroom.
So. Really fucking small and weird, right? But i truly fell in love with this shitty place.
And i made plans.Ā 
On the outside, i can probably maybe fit a washing machine by the washing tank. Tight fit, but it may work.Ā 
I can fit a small couch (more like a futon), a very thin table by the half wall under the window, a very small coffee table and some storage high on the walls of the living room. Maybe even a thin rack and a small shelf. I wont have a tv bc i dont use one, so i could leave an empty square on the wall and use a projector to watch shit when i have people over.Ā 
For the kitchen, the stove would be on that square by the half wall. More storage high on the walls and a cabinet by the sink, maybe. If i could find a smaller fridge, like a 1,50m tall one, i can put it by the bedroom door with a microwave over it. The coffee maker would be on the cabinet by the sink or the thin table at the other side of the half wall.
For the room, i can easily create a wall made of bookshelves on the middle to separate bedroom and office. I can also add a higher level made of wood where the bed will be, to create a better illusion of two ambients. On the micro veranda, plants and a garden table/chair combo if i can fit it. Also, a magnetic mosquito door curtain bc yes.
The batroom only needs some storage, so some shelves on the wall would be enough. Maybe a big mirror to hang there too.
Iā€™m very very tempted to contact the owner and book an appointment just to see the place in person. But the thing is, i absolutely cant move there.
Iā€™ve no job, no money, no means. Itā€™s a 700brl rent, 3 months in advance, which means 140usd per month plus 400usd in advance. And im not even listing the bills. Water is apparently shared with the other residents, but theres electricity and internet and my phone and my medicine.
Its a lot and im going crazy and i cant deal with my parents anymore. I dont wanna be their parent, i dont even want to have kids! And my health is catching up with me, so the number of jobs i could do is going down, and being unemployed with a declining health will help me with fuck all.
This is more a rant than anything. I want so bad to show people this house, but i cant bc i dont want to bother anyone specificaly with a useless wish, so iā€™ll show it here and people will just ignore and thats fine.
I just. I keep realising that im way poorer than i ever thought i was, and its taking a toll on me. No jobs i could get would pay me enough to move out, no matter what kind. Teacher, artist, academic advisor, secretary, cleaning crew, store clerk, supermarket cashier, none of these pay me enough to survive, and half of them i cant physically do.
Anyways, TL:DR i found a shitty house in a shitty place that i fell in love with. Iā€™ll never be able to live there.
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cellmint Ā· 4 years ago
Text
Hack
Crypto x Wattson
Word count-1760
Warning/Tags-Comfort
Rating-G
Summary-Wattson finds out Hack can do things on his own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mirage burst laughing surprised
"Wait your asking me for advice?!" Mirage laugh surprised.
"Shut it!" Crypto spoke.
Mirage took a sip of his cold whiskey.
"Who's the one?" He smile.
Crypto look away ashamed.
"Oh... Its very obvious..." Mirage tease knowing the answer.
Crypto roll his eyes.
"Natalie." Mirage whisper to Crypto ear.
He spit out his drink coughing Ā whipping his mouth with his sleeve.
"Its not obvious!" Crypto spoke.
"Oh, it is, thatĀ time when she got attacked by an enemy team. You rush to her aid Ā then you need saving, smart move kid." Mirage teased.
Mirage rub Crypto's head messing his hair.
"Asking people on a date is easy! Knowing what to do is important" He spoke confident.
Crypto look at Mirage quiet.
"First you give yourself confidence, Ā ask them how they feel, be there for them hear them talk about all the voices in there head. For hours... But showing support is super important. Oh! Making sure there comfortable and happy is top priority. Also be honest say the truth or there going to find out threw a voice." Mirage mumble.
"Voices?" Crypto look confused.
"Yeah Wraith always talks about it...-?!" Mirage realized.
"You and Wraith." Crypto look.
"?! You and Wattson!" Mirage tried to give an excuse to change the subject.
"Hey! Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll do fine. She enjoys your company." Mirage spoke.
"You think so?" Crypto look at him in the eyes.
"Hey I seen how she compliments your drone all the time. Plus she's always saying electric puns to you. Both help each other in the arena and she calls you mon cheri which is french for... Uh... Honey or love? I'm not sure sounds adorable when she addresses you." He had an honest smile.
Mirage raised up his posture being confident as always.
"So where is she?" Mirage wonder.
"Drop ship fixing fences." Crypto respond.
After a while of talking to Mirage.
"Maybe you should go. It's getting late and I have to close the bar soon."Ā Mirage respond.
Crypto paid leaving the bar, Wraith walking in.
"H...h..hey Wraith!" Mirage spoke.
Crypto receive a notification on his phone seeing a message.
-šŸ’•Watsonāš”
Bonjour! Crypto how are you :D
I'm fine,on my way.
Oh hey! Thanks for giving me company.
He wonder looking at the message confused. He felt his phone buzzing, a notification it was a picture. It was wattson with Hack, he smile. He saved the picture then kept reading.
Hacks been very helpful
Oh, I guess I forgot to turn him off
I didn't know Hack could talk
Hack doesn't talk
It spoke in a female voice saying Mila. First I got worried but then excited that Hack can be used as a communication device. šŸ˜²
Crypto stop right on his tracks surprised he read the word Mila. As if he didn't believe it, was his eyes playing tricks on him. He felt his body freeze up.
Did she say anything else?
She ask if there was someone called T. But I said I didn't know, she also said that shes alive? Which was very odd? Is hack sentient? šŸ¤”
Crypto ran getting inside the ship then went Ā looking around for Wattson. He found her with Hack on a table charging to a computer. She seem happy watching the drone. She turn around seeing Crypto his eyes had tears running down his face.
"Mon chƩri are you alright?" Wattson look at Crypto worried.
She wonder if he was hurt or if something bad had happened on his way. She's never seen him so hurt before.
"What did Mila told you. Is she safe?!" Crypto place both hands on her shoulder terrified.
"She said she's safe she got away from them?" She spoke.
Crypto felt a weight lift up from his shoulders. He sat down on a sofa remaining silent looking at Hack. He began to think getting lost in his own thoughts.
"Are you alright?" Wattson got close to him.
He made a small nod looking away, maybe he wanted to be alone?
"I'll get you some water." She respond walking away.
He held her left hand stopping her, she felt his grip tighten, she notice as his face remained emotionless but she could read him like a book. He seem terrified as if he saw a ghost but it seem different he also revealed he was sad. Wattson saw him with tears running down his face reaching his metallic chin. She open her arms out for a brief moment he just look surprised by her actions, he moved towards her and hug her hiding his face on her jacket. Ā She pat his head softly.
"Its alright Mon ChĆØri." She spoke reassuring crypto.
Cryptos grip tighten hugging her. She could feel his body shake a bit.
"Do you want to talk about?" She wonder.
He shake his head sideways standing up.
"Qui I know what can get your mind of things! How about cooking or reading a book!" She smile.
"No thanks..." He left.
She saw him walk out. His actions remind her of the way they meet. He would push people away and was always serious. She was actually shy and worried working with him as a team. She felt intimidated by him all the time even in the arena the sound of his drone scanning the area and patrolling made her worry. It would always take away her fences and traps she would have set up. One time she was with crypto while octane decided to rush. It was so silent, it felt as if there was no way to break it.
Wattson shake her head and look at him as he was crouching down watching what the drone sees.
"I love how your drone has an electro magnetic pulse? Did you design it yourself?" She looked at Crypto smiling.
"Yeah I did" He respond silent.
"What's the name of your little drone?" Wattson look at him.
"Hack." He respond.
"You named your hacker drone hack? That's funny." She giggle.
He look at her making a small smile then looking away hiding it.
"What's your name?" She ask.
"Crypto." He respond silent.
"Oh.... Uh. My name is Natalie Paquette" She smiled looking at him.
"Nice to meet you." He went back to his drone loosing interest.
"Are you always like this? Treating people with a cold shoulder?" She went straight to the point.
Crypto look at his screen then at her.
"What?" He look at her.
"I been trying to find a conversation with you but you just-?!" He cover her mouth catching her off guard.
"Shush." He respond.
Wattson heard footsteps followed by her fences alerting both of them.
"There coming." He spoke.
After a fight they end up winning.
"How shocking was that!" She clapped her hands together.
"That was a close one." Crypto clean some sweat off his forehead.
She smile looking at him. She could have sworn they both look at each other in the eyes for a brief minute. She snap awake from her thoughts and began blushing when she remember seeing his first sincere smile. She notice hack was almost fully charged next to her computer she picked it up going to him. She look worried thinking, what to tell him. She knock on the door waiting patiently for an answer. She held hack and saw the door open.
"You look like you could use some company." She smile.
"I'm fine Nat." Crypto look at hack grabbing it going inside.
"No your not! That look on your face worried me. The woman that spoke must mean something very important to you." She spoke held his hand.
Crypto look surprise at her. Her soft hands tighten against his. He look at his drone and computer.
"I'm here for you mon'chƩri." Wattson respond worried.
He took a sigh and let her walk inside his room.
"Forever family." He spoke looking away at Hack.
She look curious as she walk inside the room following crypto.
"Mila is family. I thought she was dead im glad shes alive." Crypto spoke.
"Im so glad those are great news!" She spoke sitting down on the sofa watching crypto.
Crypto place his drone on the desk connecting to the computer extracting all information it had.
"Problem is, shes going to get found out..." He spoke.
"I'm sure she will be fine." She respond.
"Yea..." Crypto spoke.
After a long night of talking Wattson end up falling asleep on his sofa. Crypto look at her placing a blanket on her, he sat down on the computer trying to track Mila's communication. His eyes widen when he saw Kings Canyon. He felt a hand on his shoulder startling him.
"You stayed up all night?!" Wattson spoke surprised.
Crypto look at her. His face had massive eye bags, he look very tired. She got him off the chair drag him to the sofa covering him in a blanket.
"I can't rest now." Crypto spoke.
Wattson look at him in the eyes covering him in the blanket.
"I'll help you find her if you want." She smiled.
"I don't want them to take you, just like they did to her." Crypto look exhausted.
She lied down next to him on the sofa.
"They won't I promise." She spoke.
Crypto close his eyes feeling Wattson up close to his face.
"Thank you." He spoke.
As he drift to sleep he felt soft lips pressing against his forehead.
"Sleep well." He heard followed by a French lullaby.
He closed his eyes.
"Yo wake up!! Crypy!!" He heard his door burst open.
Crypto lift up his head looking at the door pissed.
"?Too loud." Crypto and Mirage both heard.
Crypto straight up forgot Wattson was sleeping with him.
"Oh!? My god?! You champ!" Mirage teased.
Crypto threw his pillow at Mirage, Ā he closed the door laughing. Wattson rub her eyes looking at Crypto.
"Nothing." Crypto spoke.
He lift himself up from the sofa looking at Wattson. She look so adorable. He lock the door going to the computer.
"Rest" She demand.
He sigh going to her back to the sofa closing his eyes. She embrace him in a comforting hug.
"I won." She whisper.
"For now." Crypto respond.
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transrightsjimin Ā· 4 years ago
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@trespassers-willā€‹ ok here we go
i also watched the various videos hidden inside each photo and the videos that were posted today as well and took notes too hjfhk
1. hobiā€™s room
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okay so i thought i would rank jinā€™s room first but then i saw hobiā€™s room and i saw that couch nd went OMG okay thats no.1!! i love this interior so so much, like i normally hate orange and blue as a combination but this seems almost more like red and blue and it really reminds me of hopeworld. thereā€™s many pop art-like graphic design posters adorning the walls, showing lines like ā€˜hopeā€˜, ā€˜sweetā€™ and ā€˜my wayā€˜. the shoes on the closet(?) behind him were disaplayed bc those are the colours we wears the most in his fashion. and then thereā€™s this iconic inflatable clear pink couch and him wearing a pink robe and just GOD what a mood, i want a room like this!! the chair reminds me a lot of the type of fun quirky furniture i fantasized about and incorporated into my drawings as a kid when i was around 8-11, probably because i got inspired by stuff like totally spies and polly pocket, which had all these designs clearly inspired by 60s and 70s space age design but more in pink and purple i guess.
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also i hate the search for such stills bc even w safe search on, you still have godawful f3tish drawings depicting those kids from totally spies ending up in search results and itā€™s disgusting. but yeah it reminded me of that
youtube
when i say polly pocket, i particularly mean this quik-clik (magnetic clothes and hair) era in 2005 which was what i had some stuff from. i had that couch / movie night! set and the pool and that
also i just really like hobiā€™s room because with all the posters and cabinets and clothing items laid out and a carpet and fun colours and whatnot, it really feels like an actual room you could live in, unlike any of the other rooms which feel very empty or too minimalist to me. but YEAH hobiā€™s room is my fav, i love the way a fuller room feels more cozy and habitable and floaties and inflatable floaties are AMAZING
2. jinā€™s room
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jinā€™s room is so prettyyyy!! jins explanation of the room was very uhm confident and funny but i love that. the couch looks like a lilac shell, which makes sense as everything else looks very pearlescent. i really love cool-toned pastels like lilac, powder / baby blue, periwinkle and everything just looks like itā€™s part of a waiting hall for mermaids or something. thereā€™s also gems in it which took me a while to realize bc i only noticed the glass chandelier and lamp but then i saw them in his hand nd on the table. i dont rly care abt gems / jewels but overall i just love how this whole room speaks ā€˜prettyā€˜ to me. robes are always a plus. as i was writing this, i was also reminded of hair extension mullet jin with iridescent clothing and all and that is actually my all time fav photoshoot / look of him. him saying heā€™s the gem of the room makes sense too as heā€™s sitting in the shell like a pearl. jin pretty pretty mermaid
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ok from here on its getting harder bc place 3-8 is not so much abt which is nicer but which one actually makes me feel any emotion bc i just feel too exhausted for excitement over comebacks or anything really. also minimalism doesnt make me feel anything either. but ill try
3. jungkookā€™s room
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ok ive been staring at a screen w few sleep for too long so ill try to go through my ranking faster bc ive been working on this post for too long, also partially bc i cant focus nd partially bc theres some i just rly dont feel much for but i feel bad for ranking one lower than the other or ranking smth higher when ive talked to someone who dislikes a room i like dghkfdf
but yeah i like jungkooks room! its a very intense blue tht might make you depressed if youre in it too long but again i love how theres multiple items stacked in the bg and intense blue lights, and the ceiling looks like it has soundproof padding. its like youre in a recording studio or at some vaguely nostalgic party of a friend of my mom, who had plants in her home nd rock music nd the tv on and was smoking nd it was a bit dark and mysterious. i like it, it intrigues me a bit nd makes me miss going to concerts. also this pic rly just reminds me of 2008-2010 pop music videos where theres always a party and dj and people are wearing sunglasses or something and theres a dance break at the end
4. yoongiā€™s room
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also blue!! the first time i saw this pic it was bc someone sent it to me to say how ugly they thought the decoration / editing looked w the metallic dripping stuff from the couch and whatnot but i kinda like it :( i like his velvety clothing and the light blue in the rest of the room is really pretty. i like mirror themes when done well nd i like how the reflectiveness shows also in the metallic dripping nd metallic spheres and the mirror hes standing on nd the way light reflects on his clothes and from the lamp. only the lamp feels a bit too much like a contemporary art installation for me nd his room already is a bit too empty for my liking nd i had the feeling when i watched the vid of him walking through the room that there was not much to interact w in the room like it was a bit dull. his voice in the explanation videos made it feel more like a place of peace / solitude rather than boredom or loneliness though.
5. namjoonā€™s room
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ehh i think place 5, 6 and 7 are interchangable at this point. namjoon woulve ranked lowest but i listened to his explanation videos and saw him goof around in todayā€™s video and appreciated it a bit more. the room still looks quite minimalist and not super comfortable, like youre not allowed to touch anything there (which is the same for jin i guess but i dont view that as smth meant to look like a living room). i do like how the wood theme is present throughout each wall nd in various items and w the windows nd use of space it feels a bit inspired by japanese interior design and that that is inspired by his bonsai tree nd love for woodwork, but im not sure. i was actually quite shocked some of his explanations were so short. so yeah i place this 5th bc i like how coherent the theme is but it doesnt feel cozy or inviting nd still very cold to me, maybe bc it looks too expensive or minimalistic in terms of colours.
6. jiminā€™s room
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i like the flowers but also i dont like tiny flowers nd they tend to be the stinkier ones. i kind of like how jimins room feels the most like a grandma one w all the flowers nd offwhite and the lamp and beige i think? but the colours are so muted and if anything it feels like a place for a bridal photoshoot nd im just so bored. i love jimin nd feel bad for ranking a room he curated so low but it rly creates no serotonine in my brain, just melatonine bc im sleepy. i like how the room i obviously quite packed w stuff, but then the washed out colours make everything still look very bleak. hmm. i do like how the flowers reach outside the borders unlike w any of the othersā€™ photos. im about to fall asleep so let me quickly finish this post
7. taeā€™s room
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the picture in the middle behind him is interesting nd i dont know how he made that, nd i do like how he described his room as a place where there would always be enough food for visitors. i know itā€™s meant to communicate some highbrow, artsy vibe but w the weird editing and lightning nothing looks real in the room heā€™s in (including himself, like it doesnt even look like hes in the room) and it just looks kitschy instead of artsy. yeah i dont gravitate towards this one, itā€™s like deep-fried and desaturated at the same time nd i tend to avoid looking at it subconsciously
8. the first room photo
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i first posted a long description here why but it disappeared but in short. this photo evokes no emotional response to me other than think of kind of crappy hotel rooms i was in w my parents while on vacation nd we slept in the same room or something nd the beds were awful nd made my moms chronic pain worse. the clothing is very boring and so r the colours of the room. i know bangtan curated stuff but its still the least interesting photo to me, maybe im too depressed to feel anything idk
im sorry this was prob very boring TT_TT i tried my best to make a ranking but i rly dont know nor care as much as i would want to
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