#its like how you dont need to have anxiety to feel anxious

[spacebugarts]

That depends: does National Geographic count as an encyclopedia?

I have always listened to songs on loop…

Life in an Autism World

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[crixaflamma-the-second]

very sorry to everyone whos sent me an ask in the last few days that i havent responded to, ive been feeling really burnt out lately and havent really had the energy to do anything so ya thats why

[newfeeling77]

i wish i had gotten properly medicated n therapized earlier 1. bc it hasnt even started yet i had one therapy appointment and i wont be feeling the effects of medication for another month and a half and 2. im already feeling regretful of the time i wasted these past few months being depressed. not unhappy just apathetic and frustrated. bc objectively im having a good time n learning new things and making friends like its a really good semester but i havent been able to enjoy it bc im currently incapable of enjoying anything. i can appreciate things, i can acknowledge the positive aspects of my life but they dont give me any positive feelings. instead im just angry or overwhelmed all the time

[silverislander]

i have 7 assignments, total, left in school. once i finish those i'm going to be done- i graduate in may which is WILD to think about. i just have to fucking do them

[pr]

its sooooo embarrassing for me hearing the coworker next to me's computer constantly ping with teams message notifications 😭 like theres no way they dont have a group chat without me but like also 1. is this high school did yall REALLY need to make a separate group chat to be silly without the weird girl 2. why cant being quiet and weird just be something you tolerate instead of excluding me bc of it like i dont understand am i being rude for being socially anxious like is it really THAT bad jesus

[caffeinatedopossum]

When I had that panic attack the other day, my girlfriend really put some things into perspective... I don't know, I think I feel bad because this is the best my life has ever been and I'm still depressed and anxious. It feels like I can't do anything for myself and the things I can do, I don't.

But she said that she would feel the same in my position. That actually, when she was the most depressed, she *was* in my position. She said she'd go crazy from not being able to do anything all the time and for some reason that helped a lot. Like, just to hear that its not wrong to feel like this and that I really am doing everything I can.

It feels so greedy and selfish to look at my life being the best it's ever been and to still ask for more but I guess it's normal.

[skyjynxart]

.

[angelicmemo]

My life is quiet. Why do I still feel this?

[etherealkissed88]

how i manifest when i feel anxious •°. *࿐

i decide i have what i want…

when i feel anxiety -> i let it pass while knowing its only a human reaction

◦ since i am beyond just a human (i am limitless imagination/self), i know any anxiety is below me and it has nothing to do with my limitless self. i have exactly what i decided i have, regardless of any anxiety.

know anxiety usually comes from a fear of failure

◦ so, i cannot limit myself based on what i see or what i negatively assume my future will look like bc i am always beyond the 3d, no matter what feelings/anxiety my human self experiences.

◦ i become indifferent/i dont care about what i see or what i assume i will see because i know everything comes together in the 3d once i change self/know its done. fact: everything always comes together and works out in the end. being indifferent to the 3d = being indifferent to emotions, anxiety and everything that doesnt serve you.

dont fight it, dont avoid it, tackle it head on

◦ acknowledge you are experiencing anxiety bc you are. yes it can feel like shit but it doesnt have to affect who you are being (whatever version of self you are embodying). again, i can choose to be indifferent to this anxiety. you dont have to be scared of the anxiety. it is a natural human response. cry if you need to, let it all out. dont try to suppress it bc that will only come to bite you back in the ass, believe me.

◦ take care of your mental health in whatever ways necessary. when i used to experience anxiety, i used to take walks in the park, clear my head, meditate, express myself and my emotions through art and journaling, etc. remember nothing you do (or feel) in the 3d has to affect who you are being/your state.

"how can i still have anxiety yet still be a desired version of me?"

anxiety has no affect on anything unless you allow it to change your identity. you are the one with power, the anxiety is only an experience, similar to breathing in oxygen and using our sense of touch; its all neutral. when you start surrendering to the anxiety, you are creating and accepting negative stories that you create based on the feeling of anxiety. allowing that anxious feeling to change your state/identity is surrendering to something you view as more "powerful" than you. stop transforming that anxiety into a state that you embody based on the false, negative stories u imagine.

remember a 3d experience or anxious feelings doesnt have to influence who you are being. an example: a model who knows (fulfilled) that she is graceful and beautiful can have anxiety about doing her catwalk. the anxiety is normal, she can experience the symptoms of anxiety (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking) but her core identity/state is still a graceful model. the anxiety is only a temporary feeling. usually when we experience these feelings, they occupy all of our attention in that moment which is why it seems so scary but in reality, its not that big a deal. know that anxiety is just a feeling. you are safe. you can still experience shitty feelings while knowing you are a bad bitch!

you dont always identify with everything you experience. for example, a lot of people experience good things and still identify as people who are unworthy of good things. so its really up to you to choose what to identify with.

i know my only job is knowing its done

◦ if i just decided its done, as the operant power, as i say goes, therefore its done. so my job is done. anxiety is part of the 3d, not my limitless self, imagination. so i can be indifferent and experience it without identifying with it, the same way people manifest what they desire while experiencing their shitty circumstances daily (because they do not identify with those shitty experiences).

◦ ive heard/experienced situations where we know its done yet we cried and felt like shit, and what we wanted still manifested into the 3d. bc anxiety is only a feeling. do not allow your feelings to take hold of your state, but if it does, its never the end of the world... just get back in the state. 3d shit/anxiety doesnt have to intervene with who you are being/what you identify with.

kisses, jani ☆

[m0chis-cafe]

Hello! This is my first time making a request, if it's okay, can I get a reader with Lillia, Rook, Vil and Leona who has recently been suffering from insomnia and anxiety about returning home (comfort in the end) Please? 😔🎀

i absolutely love this, i get horrible insomia. i gotchu♡

(edit: i ended up focusing on one more than the other in some, but both are mentioned. hope u still like it *mwah*)

reader suffering from insomnia and anxiety about returning home.. ⋆⑅˚₊

word count: 1.5k

warnings: mentioning of anxiety, and panic attacks (there will be major comfort though), sitting in laps, kissing, joking to help, mentioning of what happens in each of the characters books (i hope yall have read em before but js in case)

characters: leona, rook, vil, and lilia

leona kingscholar🦁

you paced the botanical gardens on campus, hands tangling in your hair s you thoughts went a million miles a second..

how am i going to get home?

how is my family.. god i miss them..

if im forced to stay here.. how do i even pass these crazy magic classes?

do the people here ive come to know even want me here or are they forced to cause i cant leave..

every new thought was another anxiety that just caused your breath to quicken. your thoughts were flooded with negatives.. if you had magic this is what youd assume a magic blot would feel like.. so much negative emotions piling into you all at once.

you eventually sat below a tree, knees curled to your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. it didnt help that you hadent slept in days, insomnia only getting worse since coming to nightraven.

yet no matter what you did your breaths wouldnt calm, your hands kept shaking, and you couldnt hear or see straight. you almost jumped right out of your skin as you felt hands grab your own that covered your face. looking up you saw brown hair and ears.. leona?

his voice made its way to you eventually, "herbavore? herbavore.. seriously c'mon your worrying me. ruggie said you ran off but i didnt think itd be this bad." he mumbled to himself before his hands slipped dwon to your biceps, "hey, listen to me." he spoke firmly.

your eyes eventually meet him, your breaths calmling slightly at his presence. taking large breaths through your lips as you looked up at him, arms shaking in his hold. "dont fall out on me now, we need you." he spoke lowly as he scopped you up with ease, placing you betwen his legs, "your alright now herbivore, whatevers going on in that head of yours, its gonna be alright, yea?" he placed a kiss on your forhead allowng you time to breath normally.

when your breaths calmed and body began to calm, you sighed and leaned more into his body, "thank you.. leona". he chuckled deeply, sloching more down the tree, letting you fall into his chest. "its fine kid, just glad your fine. did something happen?". your eyes widened before spilling, explaining your thoughts to him slowly, anxious to be a burden. when you ended he rolled his eyes and strted laughing.. at you?..

huh?

"you seriously think anyone here doesnt want you here? i think at this point those first years would fall apart without you, and as for finding your way home, crawley better. or ill personally kick his ass, alright herbavore?" you simply nodded your head and leaned into him smiling, "your really not as bad as they say you are.."

vil schoenheit🧺

vi had become obsessed with training for the dance competittion, day after day everyone was practicing for hours every day. you tried to be nothin bt supportive but your insomnia had only gotten worse with the recent stress of the compettition..

what will happen if we dont win?

everyone else looks so tired..

god im so tired.. when was the last time i slept multiple hours?

i wish i could just go home already..

you guys had gotten the first brea of the day, you sat against the wall between kalim and ace as they yapped about how excited they were to preform next week. listening to them had you distracted, your eyes fluttering closed.

a hand was placed on your shoulder, looking up you saw jamil crouched in front of you, "are you alright? you look terrible prefect" you heard ace and kalim repremand him for being so blunt, but you just shook your head trying to wake up, "im fine jamil.. just tired, thank you though"

he looked skeptical but quickly turned to make sure kalim was drinking water and taking a proper break. ace mumbled something under his breath that you barley couldnt catch before he stood up and walked towards vil who was with rook and epel, who were talking across the room.

you saw vil look down at ace with his arms crossed, he glanced at you as ace pointed a finger to you. vil abandoned his conversation with epel and rook, shooing away the others around you, "why wouldnt you say that you havent been sleeping, thats not proper conditions for you to be proforming in prefect."

"im fine vil-", he rolled his eyes and cut you off, "you look anything but, stand" he reached a hand down to you, pulling you up from the ground. your head swam with spots when you rose too quickly, stumbling into vil.

he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you up, "poision.. is somethng truley wrong?" you looked up at him, eyes wide as he read you like a book. he quickly took your hand and dragged you out of the practice room and into the lounge at pomefiore.

he sat you down in one of the chairs and crouched in fron tof you, holding your face in his hands, "speak to me.." you sighed before explaining what had been happening, the stresses and not sleeping, the thoughts of never being able to go home.

he sighed and stood, sitting beside you and tugging you into his side, "i wish you would speak up when this happens, you know that id never wish to add to your burdens." he placed a kiss to your forhead before continuing, "we will find a way for you to go home, no matter how bitter sweet itll be, i do hope we find a way for you to go back and forth.. we would all miss you terribly here.. especially me." at his words you sighed and relaxed into his side, "ill find a way back, i could never just leave you guys.. especially you.

rook hunt🪶

you thought itd be easy to hide your emotions recently, but knowing rook he proably could already see through your mind..

i hope i can go home soon..

i wonder if time has passed back home and if my family is worried about me..

i need to stop stresing, i havent slept at all recently

these magic classes are getting harder with the lack of magic

you thought you kept a pretty good mask on arround others, yet as soon as you were walking from potions alone with rook he spoke up, "mon cheri.. have you been sleeping enough? your beauty is as blinding as always, alas you seem more tired than usual."

you shouldve known better than to try to keep something from him, he finds out everything sooner rathar than latter, "im alright, just worried about getting home, i guess its been affecting my sleep.."

"well theres no use in worrying cheri! i garuntee they will find a way to send you home! with that said i think a long rest for you is in place." he spoke cherfully as he laced your hands together and dragged you to pomefiore, you smiled at his actions and followed along.. he always here to look after me

lilia vanrough🦇

after dealing with blots from every other house, you thought hanging around diasmonia would be calming. yet as you sat in the lounge with silver, sebek, lilia, and malleus your thought still didnt stop running..

whos going to over-blot next?

will the next one be more powerful.. maybe too powerful..

i didnt have these struggles at home

even my sleep scheduals gotten worse.. late nights staying up with lilia and idia playing games have become much more often an occurance

im supposed to be relaxing, just breath..

your mind spaced out as you looked at the floor in front of you while stuck in thought. your hands tangled into your blazer sleeves as your breath quickened, your vision began to see spots before you felt a hand rest on top of your own in your lap.

"prefect, is something the matter?" your head snapped up and saw lilia who was sat beside you, a concerned look for once took over his boyish grin, "your not looking too good.. are you ill?" he placed a hand on you forhead attempting to asses if you were running a fever.

"im alright.. just missing home" you mumbled, offering him a small smile as you placed your head on his shoulder. he sighed, raisng your hand to press a kiss on the back of your hand, "well find a way for you to go back, i promise it my dear."

he wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you to lean more into him, "in the mean time, you havent been sleeping and its clear, get some rest prefect" his boyish grin returned as he pecked your cheek. he was right.. everything was gonna be ok.

you finally felt comfortble enough to fall into a deep sleep against him, with grim curled up into your lap mumbling about his dreams of tuna. surronded by people you became found of over you stay at nightraven, it wouldnt be bad to stay here, but you knew that there would be a way home.

[4unnyr0se]

Hi love your writing!! I havent touched HQ in 3 years but Im starting to love old characters I use to fall in love with like Asahi, Oikawa, Bokuto etc,,, so as my first req, could you pls write fem! Reader x Bokuto fluff in HS?

Like Bokuto trying to court the reader. How would that go? And how did he finally ask us out?

Feel free to ignore this if you dont like the idea! Ty for ur time 🤍❤️🤍

❥ young love at fukurodani | kotaro bokuto

warnings: none that i can think of. this is pure fluff

MDNI | No 18+ content, I just don't want minors interacting with my blog

word count -> 1.6k

okay so aaaa this didn't rlly follow the ask bc all he does is ask reader to tutor him and then cute stuff happens but i can make a hc of it probably tonight or tomorrow?? also i wrote this when i was having tummy issues so im very sorry if its horrible. i love u!

got a request? my asks are open!

Bokuto wasn’t one to get embarrassed that easily. Sure, he did embarrassing things but didn’t know they were embarrassing. They were part of his boyish charm, which people loved about him…right? Of course, they did. He was Kotaro Bokuto. He was Fukurodani’s ace, and the people loved him for it. So why, if he was so confident, did he get awkward and embarrassed around you, his pretty classmate?

Saying you were gorgeous was an understatement. He couldn’t find the right words to describe you to his friends, mainly Akaashi. “She’s just like, y’know? And I’m like, oh damn! She’s cute as fuck!” Boktuo would make various gestures with his hands as he and Akaashi sat on the steps leading to the gym, sipping cola from the vending machine. “What do I do, Akaashi? She’s so pretty, and I’m pretty too! The only problem is that everyone else in our year thinks so, too…do I even have a shot?”

Akaashi would offer him a pitiful smile, rubbing his back in assurance. “Well, isn’t she one of the smartest in our year?”

“Yeah, smart and pretty. She’s so fucking perfect, I wish you could see her.” he pouted.

“Well, the answer is simple,” Akaashi said, standing up and stretching his arms above his head. Ask her for help with homework; god knows you need it.”

“Hey! I got a 41 on my chemistry test!” Bokuto yelled at Akaashi as the setter entered the gym. But he did have a point, like always. Bokuto decided then and there that he would ask you to tutor him tomorrow, no matter how anxious he was. Anxiety was for suckers anyway.

“Hey, wait up!” Bokuto ran after you as you exited your classroom, papers flying out of his messy bookbag that was riddled with stains from only God knows what. “I gotta ask you a question!”

You stopped walking and turned your heel, raising an eyebrow as the Fukurodani captain barreled towards you. “Hey, what’s up, Bokuto? How’s volleyball going? Are we headed to nationals?” you asked, placing a hand on your hip. God, even the way you held yourself was perfect. Were you an actual goddess, or was Bokuto just lovestruck?

Bokuto finally caught up to you, leaning against the hallway walls in an attempt to appear suave and put-together. His messy uniform didn’t help his cause, but he forgot to look neat today. And every day after that. “Uh, I was wondering if you understood what we were assigned in English yesterday? I don’t understand any of it to save my skin, hah,” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes. “Did you get what our teacher was saying?”

“Yeah, it was really simple. Just basic grammar and syntax structures. Was it complicated for you?” you tilted your head to the side.

“I don’t really get it. Wanna tutor me at my house today? I can get you snacks!” he offered you a crooked smile, leaning forward so his golden eyes peered into yours. “C’mon, please? The coach will kick my ass if I don’t get my grades up, and I have a game next week! Pretty please?” he folded his hands in prayer, his bottom lip in a childish pout.

You smiled and nodded, grabbing him off the wall. Bokuto blushed at the sudden contact, noticing how neat you kept your fingernails compared to his own. Yours were neatly polished to perfection while he bit his nails almost constantly, and being a wing spiker didn’t come with having good-looking nails. 

“Where’s your house? Is it walking distance?” you let go of his hand, much to Bokuto’s dismay. 

“Yeah, it’s about five minutes from here. Wanna stop at a convenience store on the way? I’m really hungry.” he rubbed his stomach as you two walked out the nearest exit, your messenger bag dangling over your shoulder. 

“Only if you’re paying,” you joked, rubbing his shoulder. Bokuto could have sworn his heart stopped right then and there. Were you actually flirting with him, or were you just really touchy? Either way, it was a win in his book. 

“Sure, I don’t mind. Anything for a pretty girl like yo-” Bokuto stopped his sentence, smacking his hand over his mouth. “I-I mean, why wouldn’t I mind? I’m a captain, after all. It’s my job to provide for my teammates!”

“But I’m not on any sports teams. I’m not your teammate.�� you deadpanned, 

“You know what I mean!” Bokuto whined, wiping his forehead of the sweat that was slowly starting to gather. “Damn, it’s a hot one today. Why won’t they let the guys wear shorts? Do they want us to die of heat stroke or something?”

“I honestly have no idea,” you sighed, walking under the shade of the convenience store roof. “Wait a minute,” you instructed, placing your messenger bag on the hot pavement. You shrugged off your school blazer and wrapped it around your waist tightly in an attempt to cool you off. You also rolled up the sleeves of your white blouse, loosening your collar. “Sorry, I’m just really warm. At least we get to wear skirts, right?” you offered him a lopsided smile.

Bokuto’s heart pounded in his chest. “Uh, yeah, you girls are so lucky. Wearing skirts must feel awesome.”

“It’s awesome until you catch someone trying to look it up,” you mumbled in annoyance, hoisting your bag over your shoulders. 

“What the actual fuck? Who was it? I’ll murder them! I'll text Konoha too; he’ll definitely want in on it,” Bokuto clenched his fists together, walking into the store with you. “I’m sorry that happened to you, honestly.

You shrugged your shoulder and rummaged through the ice cream pin, choosing a passionfruit-flavored ice bar. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I barely know you, anyways.”

“That doesn’t mean that I can’t protect you from jerks like that guy,” Bokuto angrily shoved his hands in his pockets, tapping his foot on the tile. He fished about 400 yen out of his pocket and handed it to the cashier, ushering you out of the shop as quickly as possible. 

“What was that for?” you asked, unwrapping the popsicle. 

“I didn’t like how he looked at you, that’s all.” Bokuto huffed. He made grabby motions for your bookbag, which you handed to him with a confused look on your features. “Let me carry that, please. You’re too pretty to carry heavy stuff around like that all day.”

You paused your walk and stared at Bokuto, blushing softly. “You think I’m pretty?” 

Bokuto slowly nodded and gave you a crooked smile, blushing in turn. “Yeah, I really do. I was afraid to tell you before, but now I’m all fired up. I wanna protect you from creeps, y’know?”

You popped the ice treat out of your mouth and stepped forward, smiling softly. “We barely know each other, and you want to keep me safe? We haven’t even hung out once.”

“We’re heading to my house right now, aren’t we?” Bokuto shrugged, his blush not fading. 

You chuckled and took another step forward, the tips of your noses brushing against each other. “Yeah, I guess we are,” you whispered, your lips dangerously close to his own. “You know, I always thought you were kind of cute. In the athletic kind of way, I suppose.”

Bokuto dropped the bags he held onto the hot concrete beneath you, praying they wouldn’t roll down the hill you were standing on. You two were in a remote location, and the tension was thick. “You think I’m cute?” he tilted his head to the side, his eyelids dropping halfway. 

“Mhm,” you purred, your popsicle dripping from the intense heat. “Super cute.”

“Fuck,” Bokuto’s hands hovered above your waist, unsure of what you wanted him to do. “Uh, is it okay if I kiss you? Please, cutie?” he quietly pleaded, your lips basically touching at this point. 

You smiled and nodded, holding your melting popsicle behind your back. “Mhm, it’s okay.”

Bokuto smiled as his lips interlocked with yours for a minute, savoring the sweet passionfruit flavor that coated them. His hands squeezed your waist childishly, never wanting this moment between the two of you to end. This kiss was exactly how he dreamed it would be, soft and perfect. Just like you.

You pulled away after a bit and giggled, your popsicle having since fallen onto the heated pavement. Your sticky hands cupped his face, the pads of your thumbs running over his defined cheekbones. “You’re a good kisser,” you pecked his forehead bravely. “Like, a really good kisser.”

“Same to you, cutie,” his hands left your waist, choosing to instead secure your wrists. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that. So. Fucking. Long.”

 A chuckle escaped your lips as your hands fell to your waist again, intertwining your fingers with Bokuto’s. You had never notified it before, but he was much bigger than you. It made you feel safe and secure. Protected. “We should probably get to your house to study, shouldn’t we?” 

“Aw, I was having so much fun kissing you on the sidewalk!” Bokuto pretended to whine, kicking a loose pebble that was in his way. He easily picked up the bags with his spare hand and tossed them over his broad shoulder. 

“Tell you what,” you squeezed his hand. “For every question you get right, I’ll give you a kiss. Does that sound like a fair deal?”

“Hell yeah, it does!” Bokuto kissed you on the cheek in excitement. He practically skipped to his house with you in tow, excited for what the rest of the day would have in store.

[vxmpyree]

Not to be that person (I am that person) BUT LIKE the anxious attachment! reader x avoidant attachment! nikto FUCKING BROKE ME OKAYYYY. Pt....2???......maybe.....doesnt have to have a happy ending if you dont picture it that way, but it left me bawling on the floor ok

yayaya!! ill give them a little happy (?) ending ^-^ maybe not super fulfilling, but its a start for them

[no. 1 party anthem - arctic monkeys]

[P. 1 ▶ P. 2] anxious attachment! reader x avoidant attachment! nikto

stress blights not only the brain but also the body. when all the worrying leaves you numb, you think that maybe you're starting to get over it.

you wake up sick when you and nikto go to bed on opposite sides. it feels like a blade is stabbing your belly, and a smarting headache rings through your head any time you try to roll over. last night, your stomach ached too, but you thought little of it, thinking that dinner was just bad.

it's still dark out; he's beside you, just as tense and withdrawn as he was when you said goodnight. the only light offered is the thick red numbers on your alarm clock.

the person you want to seek comfort from is him, it's always been him. but you are torn-- you don't want to bother him. you're always asking him if he needs anything or is dissatisfied with married life. nikto always says no. maybe you just ask stupid questions-- would it be ridiculous of you to ask for comfort? all you need is for him to hold you, but he's so squeamish, so--

he mutters something in his sleep, shifting in the pilling sheets. your shaky breathing catches in your throat, and your fingers scramble to clutch your shirt.

nikto is silent. his breaths are always low and hang heavy in his chest, never letting his target hear a peep out of him. even at home he's quiet to keep his edge sharp.

he turns toward you, slivers of the red glow catching on old wounds. your knees rise to compensate for your aching stomach, and your hands wander. they claw at the sheets for him, desperate to fill the three-foot gap he's instated these last few weeks.

you want him to pity you, to give you a little bit of grace. he's still as stone like he's about to dismiss the way your heart wrenches for him.

he reaches out slowly as if you're a wounded animal. you certainly feel like one, being so nervous about what's to come and hoping for a helping hand. you gnaw at your lower lip while his hand slowly but surely finds its way to your impatient palm.

his voice, a rare thing, breaks the silence.

"we are just..." he trails off, searching for words that won't make him sound as weak as he feels. "uncomfortable," he decides.

it's the most he's given you in ages. you need this reassurance that he doesn't loathe you. he's been acting like a robot like he doesn't have needs. you don't want to see battle-ready nikto. you want him vulnerable and soft, like how things used to be.

the belly pain ebbs off as relief washes over you, like a cool breeze against clammy skin. this gnawing anxiety releases its hold on you when he just shows up for you.

"i make you uncomfortable?" you squeeze out.

his fingers twitch in your grip, and his brow furrows.

"because if i'm too much, then i can let up a little. i'm sorry, i just wanted--"

nikto sucks his teeth and diverts his attention to elsewhere. your lips stretch thin.

"it is not you, it is me."

you don't speak. even if you wanted to, what could you say? you just stare, waiting for the classic breakup routine you've seen time and time again, but it never comes.

"we are stretched thin," he mutters through grit teeth. "at work. and then i come home, and i... i do not know what to say. i do not know the man you married anymore. these four walls and you become too much. i have become a ребёнок. "

his grip on your hand is knuckle-white. your skin flips between paling and flushing with every little dig and squeeze. your fingers are starting to ache, but you don't protest. this is good. he's letting everything spill and letting his breaths reach deep into his lungs.

it's time for change. this static life may not hurt you, but it makes him antsy and lackluster.

"can't we meet halfway?" you whisper. "i can try and not ask you all sorts of things all the time. but when i do talk to you, answer like you mean it, or tell me you're not in the mood."

the air conditioner unit hums as he considers you. in the dark, you can make out the shape of his head nodding.

he scoots a little closer. it's not enough for your bodies to touch, but you can feel the heat pooling off his skin and smell his cheap body wash.

[nomizombie]

boyfriend!König headcanons that have been on my mind…

[SFW/Wholesome/Fluff] ; random stuff ive been thinking about, SO MUCH FLUFF YOUR HEART WILL HURT, established relationship, gender neutral, no usage of y/n, not proofread

[A/N] ; love love LOVE the idea of all these things happening!! Also off topic but i feel like this boy needs more wholesome fanfics. Theres just too much smut for this sweet anxious guy :((

He doesnt move a muscle when you fall asleep on him. He just cant bare to wake you and your cute sleepy face! Hell sit there staring at you for hours until either he falls asleep or you wake up. You falling asleep on him just tells him that you feel so safe around him, especially when hes struggled with being so intimidating (the social anxiety and hood certainly dont help). Whether its at home on the couch, at a movie theatre, or just on the train back home, he just loves you so much he wish you would do it more often <3

You have a phobia and he comforts you. He immediately shields you or removes whatever thing youre scared of. He just cant handle seeing his liebling so terrified and vulnerable :(( he wants you to always feel safe around him, you would never have to worry about safety when hes around. Hes very loyal and is just as great a friend as he is a boyfriend :)

He would either have shoulder length hair or a super short fluffy buzzcut. No inbetween. If you ask him to grow/cut it, he wouldnt hesitate to find the nearest pair of scissors and whack it all off! (or vice versa…) he loves it when you play with his hair, and if its long, he doesnt mind you braiding or tying his hair in silly ways!!

Youre cold? Dont worry! König produces a lot of heat, let him share some of it with you! Hed give you his jacket, a thick padded one fit for surviving the Austrian winters and snug for you! Obviously his size means its huge on you but, he loves seeing you wearing his clothes. Its just another reminder of how small you are compared to him and he is absolutely obsessed with it.

You and him are having fun at a bar. He notices how drunk youre getting and pulls you away to go home before you hurt yourself or regret it in the morning. Unfortunately… the hangover hits hard and you are stuck on the bathroom floor, his hand gently rubbing circles on your back and holding your hair back as you vomit your insides into tje toilet bowl. He hates seeing yoi like this… sick and hungover. next time hes making you leave as soon as your words start slurring >:(

The movie is too scary!! Let him hold and cuddle you, jumpscare after jumpscare. You can shrink into his chest if youre scared. And dont worry about sleeping, nothing can hurt you if hes around. Of course hes just as scared as yuou, the movie was very well made afterall. But, he doesnt want you to be terrified, so hes here for you :) dont forget to give him cuddles too, he cant stop trembling as well!!!

Anniversary, valentines day, your birthday? Dont worry one bit! Hes already got it marked on his calendar, gift planned weeks in advance and the restaurant is already reserved. How could he ever disappoint an angel like you? This is the least he could do for all the love he receives for you!

Youre on your period? Dont even THINK about it. Hell be cuddling and snuggling you to warm you and calm your cramps. Cravings? Hes already on the way to the store :) you dont even have to tell him, hes already got your favourite snacks ready in a basket for you. Youre in pain all week! He hates seeing you like this… :(( who cares aboit the mood swings as long as youre nuzzled in his size, using his warm arms to stifle the chills running down your spine.

Its raining and you only have one umbrella. He would hold it for you, making sure that its his shoulder thats getting wet, not yours. Lest you fall sick and he has to stay home and take care of you for days :(( (not that hes complaining, he’ll take any opportunity to pamper and spoil you!)

Hes just gotten home from work after a bad day. As soon as he sees you, he feels just a little better, especially while resting his head on your chest and listening to your soft breaths on repeat. It could be on the couch, in bed or just while standing in the hallway, some physical touch from you always recharges his batteries :))

dividers by @mmadeinheavenn !! :)

Tysm for reading!! :) my requests are always open, feel free to ask me anything or request a drabble/fic!

[amomentsescape]

Hey, in a school play thats coming up in a few months and just got back from practice. Feeling super exhausted and under pressure cause I might have to miss a dress rehearsal for an important field trip and I dont want the teacher to be disappointed be like "oh my God that upping bitch ditched the 2nd dress rehearsal to go on some stupid field trip" (leaving this is an almost unreadable color so if it gets made I dont have to see that part and feel anxious again) so can I request slashers with a significant other in that situation and they support them all through it, the anxiety, lines, and coming home super exhausted and feeling discouraged all leading up to the play? Cause its still somthing they're determined and wanna do? Thanks in advance if you decide to write this then ill be rereading it till the play is over and maybe after it. Its probably dumb my feelings about it all seem stupid but I'm nerodivergent and things are just extra for me then most people.

Slashers with Overwhelmed! Reader That's in a School Play

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, Bo, & Lester

A/N: Hey, your feelings are very much valid no matter the situation! Thank you for sending in your request, and I hope you find some rest soon <3

Freddy Krueger

He's grown a bit concerned over the past couple of weeks

Seeing you show up in his world with that exhausted look on your face wasn't something he liked to see

Has listened to you rant about the situation while he just held you

But he's also been there to keep you going even when you thought about giving up

If you need help with lines and preparing, he's happy to be of assistance!

Can literally morph the world into a stage for you

Anything that makes you feel a little more at ease is worth it

And he'll happily keep you in his world for however long you desire

Something about being with him helps you get the rest you've so desperately needed recently

Michael Myers

He honestly doesn't understand what the big deal is at first

You're stressed from the busy schedule? Then quit the play

But once you express how important it is to you and why you want to stick with it, he takes a little pity on you

Doesn't really help with lines or anything

But whenever you need some alone time, Michael is happy to oblige

If you need to rant, Michael is willing to lend an ear

It might not look like he's listening, but he is

He has offered to "get rid" of your problem a few times

Which you quickly said no to

Overall, he may not be the most supportive person to go to, but he does his best to be there for you in his own way

Jason Voorhees

Jason has already gotten used to the routine now

In fact, whenever you come home, he already has a fluffy blanket laid out on the couch for you along with a warm beverage

Forces you to take at least 5 minutes to sit down and chill

Even if you protest, Jason refuses to let you jump straight into more work

If you're feeling particularly anxious, he's more than happy to hold you or just sit beside you and rub your back

He's happy to help you with anything you need too

He's not the best at giving lines since he's not much of a talker...

But he's very good at following along with your script and giving you a nod if you memorized something correctly

He cares a lot about your wellbeing, so whatever will help you out is what Jason wants to do

Thomas Hewitt

He's also become a bit worried about you recently

He just hates seeing you look so worn out all of the time

Happily makes you dinner and snacks when you get home since he knows you appreciate not having to do it all yourself

He'll also run you a warm bath on evenings when you are particularly stressed out

He admires your dedication for sure, he just doesn't want you to burn out

Will not let you stay up late either

The moment it's bedtime, he makes you go to bed

It doesn't matter if you protest or not

He knows rest is important, and he'll happily lie right on top of you to make sure you don't get up from the mattress

Bubba Sawyer

Every time you come home looking worried, Bubba is all over you

He's hugging you, holding your hand, and even following you around like a puppy the whole night

He hates seeing you as anything but happy

Will do crazy charades and dances to get you to smile

He's also been stalking up on a lot of your favorite snacks and candies so that you always have something for a little more energy

He also cares a lot about you getting enough rest too

If you ever try to pull an all-nighter or stay up late in order to practice your lines, Bubba is right there with you

And seeing him forcing himself to stay awake just ends up guilting you into finally going to bed

He may seem innocent, but Bubba knows how to persuade you when he deems necessary

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms also recommends just quitting the play at first

It seems to be stressing you out too much, and he hates spending so much time away from you

But when you tell him that this is all important to you, he gives in

He'll (begrudgingly) go through lines with you and help you memorize them

Reassures you that everything will be fine and work out

Is happy to give you as many cuddles and kisses as you want in order to help you feel better

He still expects you to follow the rules list

But he's willing to be fairly lenient if you really need it

Norman Bates

He's very sweet and understanding about the whole situation

Doesn't even question why you're still doing everything even with all the stress

Meets you at the door each night and grabs your things, putting them aside

Has dinner already prepared for you

And he's happy to help you with lines or anything else you need!

He's actually the one who offered

If he sees that you're feeling extra stressed, he urges you to tell him what you're thinking

He refuses to let you bottle up your worries

He always responds with reassurances or advice depending on what you want

Billy Loomis

Believe it or not but Billy has had a little experience in theatre back in his day

He's a heartthrob; he always got cast in good roles

He's actually good at acting too and makes learning your lines feel a lot more legit

Even helps you with the delivery of the lines as well

He waits for you to come to him if you need anything

Advice, cuddles, questions, you name it

If you need it, just ask, and he'll be happy to supply

If anyone gives you a particularly hard time, Billy will go have a "talk" with them

Don't worry, he won't kill anyone

Well, unless you ask

Stu Macher

Stu somehow always makes a stressful situation better

If you need help with lines, he'll go all out

Will throw on random clothes and grab just about anything to use as a prop

Delivers his lines with such charisma that you'd think he was Shakespeare

He pushes you to take frequent breaks when you can

A nice walk outside, a little TV sesh, or even going to get some ice cream real quick are all frequent suggestions made by Stu

He admires your passion for what you're doing, he just doesn't want you to push yourself too hard

Every night while in bed, he's there whispering reassurances to you and telling you how proud he is for what you're doing

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent really wants to help, he just doesn't know how

But the moment you ask anything of him, he'll jump on it immediately

Brings you water and food frequently while you're busy

And on overwhelming days, he already has your bags and meals prepped for you so you can just head right out the door

Makes sure you're asleep every night before he'll even let himself rest

He also offers a lot of physical reassurance too if you need it

His hand on top of yours, gentle back rubs, and long hugs are all done if you initiate them

He really focuses on taking care of you and making sure you're not exhausting yourself too much

Bo Sinclair

It honestly pisses him off

You coming home each night feeling anxious and looking so tired makes Bo angry at your school

Would really love to invite your teacher over to have a "talk" about everything

But he knows you'd never allow that

Will help you with lines if you insist

He's not very good at it, but the sentiment is there

His help is really focused on the practical

He makes sure you eat dinner, drink enough water, get enough sleep, etc.

He's not much of a cuddler, but that definitely changes when you're going through a tough time

He's very much looking forward to when the play is finally done

Lester Sinclair

He always gives you lots of compliments

"You're such a hard-worker" "I know you're gonna do great" "It'll be all worth it"

Will give you a ride to wherever you need to go whenever you need to get there

Will spoil you quite a bit during this time too

Multiple bags of snacks, new comfy clothes, late night drives around the town, etc.

Whatever he can do to make you feel better, he wants to do it

He worries a lot about you though

So there will be a few times when you're the one needing to reassure him that you're alright

[aranock]

I'm tired.

Just sort of in general I am exhausted. I know I put on a brave face a lot, but the hate does get to me. The constant unceasing hatred both offline and online gets to me. I'm human idk what to say. Been thinking a lot about the Bilbo quote, I might be paraphrasing, "I feel like too little butter spread across too much toast."

It's pride month, I should be feeling happy right? I convocated finally after a brutal long degree I should be feeling happy right? I like how my body looks for the first time in my life shouldn't I feel happy?

And I know that's not helpful, that feelings are not a should thing. And yet I feel it anyway :/. Not that I do not feel happy, I would say on average I am better than I have been at any other point in my life. But it does get to me.

I was invited to dinner with a former family member, a blood relative that breached every boundary I placed and even went so far as to accost me in a public space. It's hard watching someone lose all love for you the more you become yourself. Being told I'm an embarrassment to my parents by creeps online stings a lot more now that I had a blood relative say it to my face while aggressively yanking my jacket so I couldn't get away. I know its a lie, I know that this person saying that hurt my parents as much as it did me. Alas, anxiety rarely responds to facts or evidence.

Everytime it feels like I'm fine and over it; this person manages to weasel their way around boundaries to fuck up my mental health for a week. And the thing about chronic illnesses like mine is they flare up quite horrendously when you get stressed and anxious. Anxiety means waking up to acid burnt throat from reflux.

It makes my voice dysphoric all day.

I think deep down one of my greatest fears is that I am unlovable, that everyone around me secretly hates me and is just waiting for the excuse to finally be rid of interacting with me. I am terrified that I am a burden. Mortified by the false belief that I am broken.

Despite how horrific my childhood adolescence and some of my early adulthood were, my family was at least a safe place. I recognize that I was privileged to have that. With that said I think the reason this whole thing has rocked me so much is that it violated that one last place I felt safe. It has made me doubt the love of those I never thought I would.

Sometimes transphobia feels like drowning, and if you try to swim for air everyone decides to shove you further down cause actually it's proof you are faking needing breath.

I text someone anytime I go run errands, just to make sure someone knows. Had too many experiences of hate. I get anxious when I go to get groceries; will this be the time I get hit by a vehicle driven by a far right transphobe, am I going to get called a slur again, will the store staff get suspicious of me and search through all my groceries to make sure I actually paid for it. But please, tell me how I don't know what its like to be oppressed. When men sexually harass, catcall, creepily hit on, follow me around clearly I am not at all experiencing sexism. Obviously the real worst thing in the world is that women "cancel" people on the internet, and trans people exist. Did they think sending me hateful articles would suddenly make me go "oh yes clearly its all in my head, please genocide my community, I stand for nothing and have the moral backbone of a slug."

I don't really know why I'm writing this, I dont usually feel or desire to express something like this publicly. I will probably delete it later. Maybe I disappear into writing cause its easier to deal with the feelings that way. That at least then someone gets something out of my pain. That maybe it helps to condense emotional mountains to the mole hills of short strokes of a pen or presses of a key. To let them explode outward in a flurry of thoughts and words that others look at and say "I too have felt this, you are not alone, you are not wrong for feeling this way."

Anything to take the weight of it all off my chest for a second.

Because I am tired.

I'm exhausted really.

I don't want to be brave or strong or resilient. It's tiring to bear the weight of that and a billion projections. Atlas does not bear the heavens upon his shoulders because he is strong or brave. He bears it because he has no other choice. Because people put it on him.

I just want to exist; that is apparently too much to ask for as a trans woman.

If you are concerned, please don't worry I'll be fine, I was fine every other time after all. This too shall pass. But right now it hurts.

And I have had my fill of hurt for many lifetimes.