#its like a boost of motivation to see sweet comments :]

[crowjrnl]

comments on any fic are so important! they’re so special!! sometimes i have no idea what to reply or say to the ones commenting, because i personally will be a key smash of words and go “OGMDFMGDFHDFH THANK YOUUUUUU” or “IDJGDFGFDH SO GLAD YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER!!!” 

anyway to everyone who has ever commented on any fic: i love you, i love you so much, i will think about it for the rest of my life and feel bad i can’t respond because it will be simply gibberish, but i’ll read them multiple times a day and get all giddy and smiley <3

[theoldaeroplane]

I'm over 10k into this rivals-to-??? Revalink thing with no end in sight so I'm posting some bits without context in hopes of scoring a dopamine boost to push through it haha. if you like what you see, comments do a lot for me in terms of motivation!

---

His demands turn into an outraged squawk when Link pauses near a dark alcove, judges it appropriate, and grabs Revali by his scarf; he goes silent when Link slams his back to the wall, pinning him by his skinny shoulders with one arm. Not because of any startle or fear, but because Link has grabbed his beak to hold it shut.

Link's Hylian sounds at least as strange to listen to as Revali's. He much prefers to sign. Speech is painful and his words come out with their own harsh, uncanny cadence. His voice grinds and sticks, and he's been told it makes him sound like he's on the brink of death. But while it's good for very little, it does have some uses. Intimidation is one of them. "You will be ci---ivil to Mipha," Link says, heavy and final, like a portcullis falling shut. The Master Sword still hangs on his back, and he's well aware that Revali can see the hilt of it over his shoulder. "Or we'll see how well you fl---y without feathers."

---

[...] it's not the same as he remembers how he once had such feelings. There is nothing sweet to it, nothing innocent. He wants to pin Revali to the wall again and feel his heart pounding. He wants Revali to knock him to the ground and dig those claws into the flesh of his thigh, he wants to drag Revali down after him and bite down hard on his neck. He wants to devour him and be devoured in turn.

More than once Link wonders if this is some kind of twisted response to the years of cold shoulders. If this new strain is the only kind of affection he can crave now. More than once he decides it doesn't really matter. It's not like he's going to do anything.

---

"If I come back and find you two at each other's throats again, I'm plucking Revali and using the feathers to tar Link," Urbosa says, which pulls giggles from the other women. "Find ways to occupy yourselves. We'll be back."

It's a testament to Link's distraction that he doesn't realize he is once more alone with Revali until the very moment the box seat's door slides shut behind. If he were not already drenched in sweat from the lava-baked air, he would have begun to become so at once.

"Occupy ourselves, hm?" Revali says, pushing himself up from the edge of the balcony, and the willow sound is once more in his voice. He saunters purposefully toward Link, and stops in front of him, stretching out one wing---

"Let me see the sword."

Link blinks, twice, and squints at him. "No," he signs.

"I'm not going to try to steal it from you," Revali says, rolling his eyes. "I just want to see it."

[...]

"A magic sword," Revali says with disdain. "I suppose that should have been obvious. Tell me how a magic sword chooses its wielder, then."

Link does not want to tell that story. "I found it on an altar in the woods," he signs after settling the sword to lean against his arm. It's his usual explanation. It's not untrue.

"What woods?"

"The woods by my house?"

Revali glares at him. "Oh, naturally," he snips. "I suppose it made you a master swordsman as well?"

"Yes," Link signs, face devoid of expression. "In that finding it ensured the rest of my life would be nothing but training for that."

"Oh, come now. A few years in the royal guard can't be that bad."

"I was eleven when I found it."

It's not quiet even up here in the private seating, with the muffled rumble from the festival below filling the air. This is all that saves them from a true uncomfortable silence.

---

this thing is going to need a pretty thorough redrafting when it's done but I think it's got legs!

[lya-dustin]

Shock and Delight

Or the Aemond x Aemma (oc) Bridgerton!AU no one asked for x this week's prompt from @hotd-bigbang (September 22nd: "All my means are sane, my motive and my object mad." (Moby Dick))

Please do not ask when i am returning to my other wips as i have no control and by the looks of it just started a new one.

The household of the Princess of Dragonstone is always a sight to behold at court. Whether it is by its sheer size ---the Realm's Delight in her piety has had a child for each of the Seven and her mother’s heart welcomed Lady Laena's daughters as if they were her own bringing her up to the unholy number nine---, the cohesion of it or its variation in coloring, you find yourself looking at them.

Unfortunately, their good looks, dragons, and enviable familial bond do not make up for the fact that, in comparison to Queen Alicent’s four children, they are rather ordinary. Yes, dear reader, that observation includes newborn Princess Visenya.

One has to wonder if their rank in the succession and dragons will be enough to find them all good matches now that the eldest two are to join the violent and bloody melee that is polite society.

--- the Morning Scandal

“I told you the printing press was a bad idea.” Daemon comments as the week’s scandal is read to him by his wife and niece.

“You sound like Otto.” Rhaenyra said refusing to take down her idea of a free ---but moderated--- press. “Besides it’s not hinting at It, the printer checks with me before letting things like these harmless little paper circulates around the world.”

“If the scandal sheet is as harmless as you say, then why are you going all out on the twins’ debut, sweetheart?” he asked looking smug at knowing it got to her.

No one could see them as ordinary, if people know they are not as special as they appear they will begin doubting the place they have in life. They would see Rhaenyra was an ordinary woman and wonder why ordinary bastards were called so and hers cannot.

The myth created by their culture protected them, if the smallfolk believe the gods spat the Valyrians onto land and gave them dragons and dreams to conquer the land they would not dare to harm her family.

Aemma, the elder of the twins and her heir, could not be seen as an ordinary girl. Not when her crown would pass on to her and give them the boost needed to push for absolute primogeniture as Queen Alysanne and Prince Aemon had hoped to do so only to have his own fucking father deny the legality of his will by calling the Great Council.

People will contest her father’s will; Otto Hightower was not wasting his time hoping to change her father’s mind as Alicent did and was doing everything to have enough allies for when the time came.

“You saw Maester Orwyle and Lord Beesbury’s letter, he is dying, and it won’t be long before Otto shoves me out the way to put Aegon on my throne. If Aemma weds the right man, we can prevent needless bloodshed and make sure we keep on this path of peace.” Gods, Rhaenyra hated how much she sounded like father these days. It was as if the roles were now reversed ---only she knows Aemma wouldn’t be so naïve as to give up her maidenhead to the only young man who treats her as a person and not a meal ticket.

Jace could only marry a Celtigar, a Velaryon or someone with Valyrian coloring to secure his place as future Lord of the Tides. Despite truly being Laenor’s son, her sweet little boy did not look the part. Something that could be remedied if he wed, say, Vaemond’s sweet girl, Daena.

Aemma needed to have an advantageous marriage. She needed a lord with a title, wealth and something to get the Greens to rethink their plans. Rhaenyra could have her wed to Aemond knowing her father will say yes, but there is a possibility that her little brother, like her late first husband, prefers roast duck.

Even Mysaria cannot find a woman in his past or present save for the whore Aegon hired when he was three and ten. Poor boy must have been traumatized, as if him losing his eye and that clusterfuck afterwards hadn’t been enough.

Nothing wrong with his preferences if it was true. Rhaenyra enjoys a good goose from time to time as does his mother, she just didn’t want to damn her daughter to her life. Her sweet Aemma deserved a man who would love her as a husband should.

Unfortunately, the younger generation was plagued by an unholy number of heiresses and hardly any heirs. The Princess of Dragonstone could count on her hands the number of men young enough to wed Aemma without being old enough to have courted Rhaenyra.

“I thought you wanted her to marry someone of her choice.” Her husband reminded her, they had agreed no arranged marriages for their children.

“I do, as long as he fills all the requirements we need.” His wife assured him and pretended not to see the scandal sheet go under the rest of the news printed on this morning’s newsletters. He thinks she doesn’t know he reads it while in the privy, but she does, just as she knows who writes it.

“You are a madwoman, Nyra. How will you manage to find this mythical creature?” the Rogue Prince asked. This was the same man who managed to find two women perfect for him ---after the convenient death of his first wife--- through blind fucking luck.

“All my means are sane, my motive and my object mad.” Rhaenyra laughed and asked him not to speak of this once the children came in and sat down to break their fast as they always do.

[511digital]

The SEO Marathon:Why Slow and Steady wins the Digital Race 

Discover why SEO success takes time and learn strategies to stay motivated during your long-term SEO journey. Perfect for digital marketers feeling SEO burnout!

1.The SEO Sprint vs. Marathon Mindset

Hey there, digital marketing rockstar! Feeling a bit winded in your SEO race? Trust me, we’ve all been there. It’s tempting to think of SEO as a mad dash to the top of Google’s rankings, but here’s the truth bomb: SEO is more marathon than sprint.

Think about it. You wouldn’t expect to go from couch potato to marathon runner overnight, right? Same goes for SEO. It’s all about building that endurance, one step at a time.

2.Why SEO Takes Its Sweet Time

So, why can’t we just chug some digital Red Bull and zoom to the top? Here’s the deal:

Building Authority: Google’s not handing out authority like free samples at Costco. You gotta earn it, and that takes time.

Link Building: Quality links are like gold in the SEO world, but you can’t just mine them overnight.

Content Indexing: Google’s bots are fast, but they’re not The Flash. It takes time for them to crawl and index your awesome content.

Algorithm Plot Twists: Google loves to keep us on our toes with algorithm updates. Adapting takes time.

User Behavior: As your site gets better, so do your user metrics. But users need time to notice and change their behavior.

3.Staying Pumped When Progress Feels Slow

Feeling like you’re running in digital quicksand? Here’s how to keep your SEO mojo flowing:

Set Realistic Goals: Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is SEO success. Set achievable milestones.

Celebrate Small Wins: Did your rankings jump up even a little? Break out the party hats!

Focus on Your Audience: Instead of obsessing over rankings, focus on creating killer content your audience will love.

Keep Learning: SEO is always evolving. Stay curious and keep updating your skills.

Mix It Up: Don’t put all your eggs in the SEO basket. Try other marketing strategies too.

4.Common SEO Hurdles and How to Leap Over Them

The Ranking Rollercoaster: Rankings fluctuate. Focus on overall trends, not daily changes.

Fierce Competition: Analyze your competitors, then find ways to stand out. Be the purple cow in a field of black and white!

Resource Crunch: Short on time or money? Prioritize the SEO tasks that pack the biggest punch for your business.

Content Fatigue: Keep your content fresh and exciting. Think of it as giving your website a regular spa day.

5.FAQ: Your Burning SEO Questions Answered

Q: How long until I see SEO results?

A: It varies, but typically, you might start seeing some movement in 4-6 months, with more significant results in 6-12 months.

Q: Is it worth investing in SEO if it takes so long?

A: Absolutely! While it takes time, SEO can provide long-lasting, cost-effective results compared to paid advertising.

Q: Can I speed up SEO results?

A: While you can’t cheat the system, focusing on technical SEO, creating high-quality content, and building genuine backlinks can help accelerate your progress.

Q: What if I stop doing SEO?

A: Your rankings may start to slip as competitors continue their efforts. SEO is an ongoing process, not a one-and-done deal.

6.Wrapping Up: Embracing the SEO Long Game

Remember, friends, SEO isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme. It’s a long-term investment in your digital presence. Sure, it can be frustrating when you’re putting in the work and not seeing immediate results. But trust me, that consistent effort will pay off. So lace up those digital running shoes, pace yourself, and remember: in the SEO world, slow and steady really does win the race. You’ve got this, marathon runner!

Now, I’m curious: What’s your biggest SEO challenge right now?

Drop it in the comments below. Let’s brainstorm some solutions together!

5 Words: “Boost Your SEO Marathon Endurance”

1 Statistic: “93% of online experiences begin with a search engine.”

1 Action: “Download our free ‘SEO Marathon Training Plan’ to start building your long-term SEO strategy today!”

[sanjhthadani]

increase social media following

How to Increase Your Social Media Following and Spark Engagement

Does the silence on your social media channels sound deafening? You're not alone. Many businesses and individuals struggle to build a thriving online community. But fear not, fellow social media enthusiast! With a strategic approach, you can transform your lonely feeds into bustling hubs of engagement.

Here's your roadmap to increasing your social media following and sparking conversations that matter:

Know Your Tribe, Speak Their Language:

The first step is understanding who you're trying to connect with. Imagine your ideal follower – what are their interests, challenges, and online habits?

Craft buyer personas: Develop profiles that detail your target audience's demographics, motivations, and preferred platforms (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.).

Lurk and Learn: Spend time observing relevant online communities. See what kind of content resonates, what questions are being asked, and what tone feels natural.

Become a Content Connoisseur:

High-quality content is the lifeblood of any successful social media strategy. Here's how to keep your audience hooked:

Variety is Key: Don't be a one-trick pony. Mix things up with informative blog posts, eye-catching visuals (photos, infographics, videos), and interactive polls or quizzes.

Value Over Vanity: Focus on providing content that educates, entertains, or inspires your audience. Share industry insights, offer helpful tips, or showcase behind-the-scenes glimpses of your business.

Embrace the Conversation: Don't just post and disappear! Respond to comments, answer questions, and participate in discussions. This two-way interaction fosters a sense of community.

Post Like a Pro (But Don't Be a Spammer):

There's a delicate balance between staying active and bombarding your audience. Here's how to find your posting sweet spot:

Develop a Schedule: Consistency is key. Aim for a few posts per week on your main platforms and adjust based on your audience's engagement.

Timing is Everything: Each platform has its peak engagement times. Research the best times to post for your target audience and platform.

Hashtags: Your Ticket to Discovery:

Think of hashtags as keywords for the social media world. Use relevant hashtags to help people find your content. Here's how to get the most out of them:

Research is King: Look for trending hashtags related to your niche and audience. Tools like Hashtagify.me can be helpful for this.

Don't Overstuff: A few well-chosen hashtags are better than a laundry list. Stick to 5-10 relevant ones.

The Power of Collaboration:

Teaming up with others can be a win-win situation. Consider these collaborative strategies:

Partner with Influencers: Find influencers in your niche with a loyal following that aligns with your target audience. Partner with them for co-created content, shoutouts, or joint giveaways.

Cross-Promote: Leverage your existing audience on one platform to promote your presence on others. Encourage them to follow you everywhere!

The Allure of Giveaways and Contests:

Who doesn't love free stuff? Running contests and giveaways is a fantastic way to attract new followers and boost engagement. Here are some tips:

Offer Relevant Prizes: Choose prizes that your target audience genuinely desires.

Outline Clear Rules: Make sure everyone understands how to participate and how winners will be chosen.

Promote Wisely: Spread the word about your contest across your social media platforms and relevant online communities.

Paid Advertising Can Help Too:

Social media platforms offer targeted advertising options. Consider allocating a small budget to promote your content or reach a wider audience. This can be a great way to jumpstart your growth.

Be Patient and Track Your Progress:

Building a strong social media following takes time and dedication. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results overnight. Here's how to stay focused:

Track Your Analytics: Most social media platforms offer built-in analytics tools. Use them to monitor your progress, see what resonates with your audience, and identify areas for improvement.

Adapt and Experiment: Don't be afraid to experiment with different content formats, posting times, and hashtags. See what works best for your audience and adjust your strategy accordingly.

The Power of Community:

Social media is more than just broadcasting messages. It's about building relationships! Here are some ways to foster a sense of community:

Respond to Comments: Every interaction matters. Acknowledge and respond to comments in a timely manner.

Host Live Sessions: Q&A sessions, live tutorials, or behind-the-scenes glimpses can

[silkenstarlight]

blackbird's lullaby

Summary: After a rough day, Bucky can’t sleep. Reader decides to help.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warning/s: a bit of angst in regards to Bucky’s past, but the end is fluffy and sweet :)

Word count: 2.1k

Author’s note: something possessed me to write this instead of working on my finals, so here, enjoy the fruits of my academic negligence lol

My masterlist

Join my taglist

Do not repost or translate! Reblogs and comments are welcome and encouraged :))

Bucky’s side of the bed was cold when you woke.

You sighed deeply, wrenched from the arms of a dream, rubbing the heavy, lulling tug of sleep from your eyes. You were half awake, toeing the line between the violent brightness of a dreamscape and the hazy, blurred shadows of your bedroom. The warmth of the blankets wrapped around your limbs and threatened to pull you under again, but before you could succumb to their soft, enticing tangle, a singular thought rose in your mind from the murky depths of sleep. At first, it was quiet, a hushed voice in your brain whispering to you that you were alone. But then, the concern gained traction, and it blared in your skull with a deep, unnerving clarity, a nagging insistence that made your eyes snap back open.

Where the hell was Bucky?

You sat up in bed and looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand. 2:46 AM.

You frowned, turning to face Bucky’s empty pillow, and reached a hand out, lightly tracing the crisp, untouched folds. The sheets on his side of the bed were still flat and pristinely tucked, his pillow perfectly fluffed. He hadn’t bothered to try to sleep.

You knew why.

You peeled back the blankets and shivered, met instantly with the deep chill of night air as you unfolded yourself from your fleece and goose-down cocoon.

Bucky preferred to keep the apartment cold. You obliged, of course, bundling up in endless sweaters and blankets as he opened the windows wide and turned the rotary fan on full blast. You never questioned him about it, never asked if you could dial up the thermostat just a few degrees. You knew that keeping the apartment cold helped him to avoid the dreaded space of sleep, helped him to outrun the ever-looming specter of his nightmarish past. And, whenever he did come to bed, he gave you all of the blankets, covering his body with just the thin cotton layer of a bedsheet.

You knew that he rarely fell into a deep, nourishing slumber, so you tried to help boost his energy in other ways. Big, steaming pots of the strongest coffee you could brew, a fridge stocked with healthy snacks, and daily morning walks around the neighborhood together. He quietly thanked you for your efforts, pressing sweet kisses to your forehead and leaving fresh flowers in the vase on the kitchen table every Sunday. But, even though he preferred to stay awake, whenever you rolled over in bed to snuggle into his side and found that his eyes were still wide open, a hard lump rose in your throat and a worried pit formed in your stomach.

You swung your legs over the side of the bed and put on your slippers, grabbing one of Bucky’s sweatshirts and shrugging it on as you padded out to the kitchen. You just wanted to check on him and make sure that he was okay.

When he had returned from his mission earlier in the evening, he had seemed a little off to you. Usually, he was quiet, preferring to listen to you as ranted about your stressful workday or gushed about the newest book you were reading. He never wanted to talk much about himself, silently refusing to drag the horrors of his work into your home. It was where he felt at ease-- the plush pillows, the diffused, ambient lighting, the cloying scent of vanilla candles-- it was all so you. He didn’t want to taint the safety and warmth he felt when he was surrounded by your essence with the cold uncertainty and lingering shame of his work. Even though his missions nowadays were usually unrelated to his past as a clandestine Hydra operation, and even though the two jobs differed vastly in motive, he sometimes felt the creeping prick of deja vu traveling up his neck. Follow this person. Disable that vehicle. Shoot this opponent.

All of the lights in the apartment were off, so as you approached the kitchen, you used the bright white glow of your phone screen as a flashlight. You didn’t want to go directly to the living room and make it too obvious that you were checking on him. He would just shake you off if you did, insist that you go back to bed. So, you reached into the cupboard above the sink and grabbed a glass, turning on the faucet and filling it as you peered over the countertop, trying to pick out Bucky’s rigid frame amongst the inky shadows of the living room. You turned off the faucet and brought the glass to your lips, swallowing a couple of small sips.

“It’s late. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” The sound of Bucky’s voice coming from the couch made you jump, the thick glass of your cup clacking against your teeth. You placed it in the sink and walked over to the couch.

Despite the low light, you could see that Bucky was still wearing the clothes he had on when he came home from his mission. Gray tee, leather jacket, dark jeans. He hadn’t even taken off his heavy black boots.

You stepped slowly towards him, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, fighting the urge to bury him in a hug and pepper him with kisses. Instead, you sat next to him, leaving a little space between your body and his. Now, you could see his clenched jaw, his jittery, tapping fingers, and the jumping vein in his neck that only pulsed when he was stressed. His gaze was fixed on some indeterminate point on the wall in front of him, as if he were lost in thought.

This wasn’t a normal sleepless night. Something was wrong.

“I… I guess that I should be asking you the same question,” you said softly, voice gravelly and low from sleep.

He didn’t respond, just took a sharp inhale that made it sound like he was staving off tears.

You couldn’t help it. It was like your body could sense his distress. Your hand jerked up to rest on his shoulder, a subconscious reaction to his apparent suffering. You let it stay there, though, stroking your thumb lightly along the cool leather of his jacket.

He stirred from his reverie and turned to look at you. It was so dark, the curtains shut tight, not a single ray of moonlight filtering into the room, but the blue of his eyes shone bright, glistening with the wet sparkle of unshed tears. Sadness swelled in your chest.

“You can tell me,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m here to listen.”

His gaze dropped from your face, silently weighing your words. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you enough to open up. The truth was that he didn’t trust himself to speak. If he started talking, he wouldn’t be able to stop. And then, his demons would be given a voice, and the doors to this vanilla-scented, blanket-swathed haven would be wrenched open to the darkness that waited for him beyond the threshold.

But he could also see the way that his silence affected you. You frowned more on the mornings after he didn’t come to bed. You talked and talked and talked, trying to fill his ears with noise to distract him from the numbing static in his skull. And you were constantly touching him in some way, whether twining your lithe fingers around his thumb or draping your body on top of his in a warm, crushing hug. It was as if you didn’t want to let him out of your sight.

So, he let out a long exhale and reached up, taking your hand from its perch on his arm and twining his fingers tightly with yours. He idly stroked your palm with his thumb and decided to tell you the truth.

“I… I had a bit of a setback tonight.” He felt like he was wrenching the words from his throat. He couldn’t look at you, a deep sense of shame settling into his bones, but he stared at your hand held in his and felt the creeping self-doubt hesitate just a little.

“What do you mean?”

He dragged his eyes up to yours, blinking nervously. “I, uh--” he inhaled sharply and felt tears prick at his eyes. “Someone used my trigger words tonight. And it worked.”

Silence lay heavy between you as you digested what he said, but you didn’t pull away, didn’t pry your hand from his. You simply held his gaze.

“How is that possible?” He had gone through years of extensive mental treatment in Wakanda, the emotional scars that he suffered after years of lost identity and unwilling servitude seemingly healed. But, now, it seemed that one of those scars had re-opened.

“Ayo said that it was unlikely, but that it could happen. Relapse is a part of the process.” His voice was pained.

You nodded slightly, assenting to Ayo’s expertise. But Bucky’s next sentence made you fall apart at the seams.

“I thought I was different, after all these years. But I guess I haven’t changed. I’m still him.” He spat the last word, his face creasing into an expression of disgust.

You didn’t hesitate. “Come here.”

You gently separated your hand from his and reached up to his shoulders, guiding him towards you in a tight embrace. You wrapped your arms behind his neck and he pressed his chin into the notch between your shoulder and neck. As you began tracing your fingertips along his jacket collar, his chest heaved in desperate inhales, slow tears tracking down his cheeks developing into full, wracking sobs.

“You’re safe. I won’t let you go.” You pressed your mouth against his temple in a soft, soothing kiss.

“You were never him.” Although your voice was barely a whisper, it spoke volumes, your words ringing clear and true in the quiet stillness. Bucky shuddered, squeezing you close. You moved one of your hands up to cradle the back of his head.

You stayed like that for a long time, until you saw the blue light of dawn trickle through the gap beneath the curtains, but you didn’t say anything, waiting for Bucky to say what he needed. When his breath finally stilled into a regular rhythm, no longer halting and ragged, you pulled back and took his face in your hands, staring deeply into his eyes.

“I’m so tired.” His voice was flat and broken, but when you wiped a stray tear from his cheek with your pinkie, a small, grateful smile formed on his face.

You nodded. “Well, I know what will help. Come here.” You pulled back, shifting down the couch, guiding him with you with your hand wrapped around his arm. When he had enough space to lie down, you stopped, settling into your seat. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether he could risk falling asleep in his current emotional state, but he sighed, knowing that he needed to rest. He laid back, resting his head on your lap, and looked up at you.

You carded your fingers through his short hair, brushing it back from his forehead. He melted into the gentle gesture, relaxing into the couch, into the warmth of your body.

And then, you began to sing.

You were quiet at first, as if trying out the thought of singing him a lullaby. Your voice was tentative, trying out the feeling of the different notes in your mouth.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these broken wings and learn to fly.

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

You thought that your voice was nothing special, your untrained, warbling syllables rushing from your lips in a breathy exhale. But Bucky loved it. The way you let your words flow together, followed by a long, lilting end note and a pause to inhale-- it was sweet and soft and so very you.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see.

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to be free.”

He could feel it already, the lull of an encroaching dream. His first instinct was to fight it, to blink the sleep from his eyes, but he let his lids shut, blocking out every sense except for the sound of your voice.

“Blackbird fly, blackbird fly,

Into the light of a dark black night.”

And, as he welcomed the embrace of sleep, your voice followed him, a glowing amber halo of warmth that pushed the dark away and lit his path into the space of dreams.

“All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

He dreamt of blackbirds and forehead kisses, of vanilla candles and forgiveness.

He dreamt of you.

[hornime]

hello hello!! happy 500 :D i’m a new follower and i’d like to request a pit stop (i’m pretty sure that’s the alphabet thing) with mr kenma pls and thank u <3

part of my 500 event! [CLOSED]

NSFW ALPHABET | KENMA KOZUME X GN!READER

warnings: 18+, timeskip!kenma, gn!reader, mentions of: filming, exhibitionism, choking, bondage, voyeurism, edging, roleplay

a/n: thank you for requesting!!!! this was super fun to write and i hope u enjoy <3

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

kenma’s competitive with himself, and that’s something that definitely carries into the bedroom. he’s analytical, so he’ll ask you questions that you really cannot take seriously after getting your brains fucked out like how many times did you cum? and on a scale from one to ten how good did that feel? although its not the traditional sort of aftercare, you know that he’s only doing it so he can make the experience better for the next time, and so far he hasn’t failed in doing so.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

himself: his fingers. he’s gotta use them for a lot of things: clicking the mouse while he’s gaming, signing business contracts, making you cream around them, sticking them down your throat, you know, day-to-day things. he looks at his hands with pride with the way they’re able to manipulate anything—especially you.

partner: your wrists. he loves the duality; when he’s holding your forearms above your head and thrusting into you mercilessly, he gets a sort of satisfaction in how limp your wrists go, your clenched fists drooping helplessly in his grasp. but he has reverence for their strength; when you’re choking him, fingers digging into his pulse points, he can’t help but focus on the way your wrist pushes down on his collarbone, the post-sex aches there simply reminders of how he fell to putty in your hands.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

would rather cum on you than inside. let’s face it, he was probably a hentai addict at some point and got hooked on the lewd way they showed backshots, facials, and the like. also a sucker for cumming in your mouth when you give him a blowjob and making you stick your tongue out before swallowing. put on a little show of licking your fingers or your lips and he’ll instantly get hard again.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

wants to fuck you while streaming. even after graduating high school, he’s not the tallest nor the strongest, and he’s constantly getting comments like how did he bag someone as hot as ‘em? or they’re probably just in it for the money on videos that he films with you. he’s not an idiot, he knows that even if he was the world’s hottest person there’d still be hate comments because that’s just how the internet works, but he really really wants to shut them all up by pausing his game and folding your body across his desk. there’s no way in hell he’d follow through with that though, because his career—and probably both of your lives—would be ruined, but he’s not opposed to making some faceless porn videos if you’re down for that kind of thing.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

kenma kept to himself for most of his life, so while he didn’t really have hands-on experience, he did get a lot of knowledge from hentai and mangas and such (which really is a double-edged sword because no, not everyone’s nipples are that sensitive, but its fine). so he kinda had a lot of unrealistic expectations and not a lot of sexual encounters to disprove them. but when he blew up on twitch and youtube? phew this guy had people THROWING themselves at him. and so he did indulge a bit, ‘gained some xp’ and ‘leveled up’ as he’d say, before stumbling upon you.

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

when you ride him and he’s sitting up so your chests are pressed together. kenma’s the type of person to see kissing as super intimate (yes, even more intimate than literally being inside you) so he loves this position because he can make out with you. he lives for those heated makeout sessions when you’re both moaning into each other’s mouths and nipping at each other’s lips. also likes the position where either you’re sitting with your back to his chest or vice versa and getting each other off.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i feel like he’d be pretty serious at first, in the early stages of your relationship, but as you got more comfortable, his dorkiness would shine through. like, this guy plays video games for a living, alright? he’s bound to make a few dumb references while you are ‘doing the dirty’, maybe let loose his killer wario impression when things get steamy.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i feel like kenma definitely dyed his pubes blonde as part of a prank at some point so that it matched his hair LMAO. and hygiene-wise, i mean, he still is a musty gamer boy except now he’s getting paid for it. so he probably didn’t take care of it at all before really settling down with a long-term partner (cough, you). now he keeps it trimmed (and he might dye it again for kicks).

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

i feel like it varies from situation to situation. depending on the mood and whatnot, he might really cling to the romance stuff and kiss you on the neck or forehead or murmur i love you, that kind of thing. other times, it might just be all about physical pleasure. it all chalks up to what kind of sex you guys are having, really.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

likes to be watched when masturbating. this pretty much goes hand-in-hand with his fantasy of railing you while streaming, but he’s a fan of either having you sit in front of him and boss him around while he’s jerking off or recording himself. also he might have posted a couple of the videos he films for you to a brand new account on twitter, accidentally blew up, and caused the hashtag #isthiskodzuken to trend for a couple weeks... oops.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

filming/voyeurism: kenma spends all his time in front of cameras, and that part of his life is just part of his sexual preferences now. would almost always be down to film a sex tape. when you guys are separated because of work or whatever, your messages are just lewd pictures and snippets back and forth. its really fucking with your data plan.

roleplay: he has an active imagination—need i say more? he’s constantly coming up with scenarios in his head and he’s definitely bought you a sexy cosplay costume on multiple occasions. i can’t see him into anything too intense like ddlg but i’m sure there’s some more milder stuff sprinkled within his sex life.

edging + bondage combo: when he’s subbing, kenma’s definitely the type who wants to relinquish all control. he just wants you to do whatever you want to him and tease him until he’s crying and begging to cum. will squirm a lot, which will eventually prompt you to tie his hands behind his back, which he realizes he likes a lot more than he thought he would.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

his office (feeds into his boss/employee fantasy) and in the bedroom, but just not on the bed (on his desk, at his gaming chair). the bed is for the more lovey-dovey sex.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

this is oddly specific, but i feel like he’s the kind of guy that’ll get really hard if you massage his hair, lull him into a false sense of security, and then wrap your hand around his neck. the moment you squeeze, his face’ll go red and the blood goes rushing to his dick.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

threesomes or sex with other people watching. although he might be an exhibitionist, he’s pretty hesitant when it comes to actually being that vulnerable for another person. there’s a fine line between the thrill of possibly doing it with other people and then the reality of actually doing it with other people and its a line that he most likely will not cross. after all, even though he’s more extroverted than he used to be, sex is still something you still had to coax him out of his shell for.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

giving (50%): he likes the ego boost that comes with making you cum with just his mouth and, since he keeps note of the kinds of things that really get you over the edge, he’s constantly getting better at it. likes fingering even more, though, so he’ll almost always have his fingers in your hole while he does it.

receiving (50%): loves getting blowjobs while he’s gaming and his headset mic is on (exhibitionist, cough cough). his favorite time to get oral is when you’ve got him tied to a chair and are taking your own sweet time, daring him to cum at the frustratingly slow pace you’re going.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

regardless of the scene, he goes relatively slow. likes savoring the moment and likes seeing your reactions to each of his individual movements even more so he wouldn’t like rushing things.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

honestly, not a fan of them. he gets really flustered after sex, like red-face-and-heavy-breathing-and-messy-hair kind of flustered, so he sucks at composing himself. the last thing he wants is for his stakeholders to realize he got the soul sucked out of him from the burning blush on his cheeks, therefore he like sex when he can take his time with it.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

will be down to experiment if you’re clear about it. open communication is a big one for taking steps in sex because he’s not the best at reading people. so as long as you explain what exactly you want to do, sure, he’ll try it.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

not more than a couple rounds, but they will be excruciatingly long. he’ll make you cum multiple times before he takes care of himself just because he loves seeing your expression when you finish. but once he cums, there’s not much going to happen after that. baby burns out fast.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he loves ‘em and uses them at any given opportunity. he’s still a bit lazy, but does it really matter when he can just buy something to make you both feel good with minimal effort? after all, he has the money. kenma always has the latest ‘gadgets’; in fact, there’s an entire box of toys in his closet. his favorite would have to be the app-controlled vibrator—he loves using it on you as much as he loves you using it on him.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

as much as he likes making you cum, he likes seeing your face and hearing your noises more. so yes, he’s a teaser. he just loves how receptive you get when you’re begging him to touch you more, to fuck you faster, that he can’t help but drag things out longer than necessary. it’s really your fault that he does it, at least, that’s what he tells you.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

loud, loud, LOUD. kenma whimpers and his moans usually get higher-pitched the closer he gets to his orgasm. when he’s busy focusing with you, though, all that’s pouring out of his mouth is absolute filth, talking about how sexy you look and how good you’re taking him. might degrade you here and there when he sees how easy it is for you to finish with him just using his fingers—he can’t help it.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he has the money and the inability to take life too seriously, so yeah, he’s ordered a silicone mold of your genitalia, whether its your pussy or your cock. its embarrassingly useful when he goes on business trips and its the one thing he never forgets to pack (he forgot his passport once but you bet he had his custom sex toy tucked safely in his luggage like the crazy bastard he is). got you a dildo in the shape of his dick for your birthday so he wouldn’t feel as weird about it.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

six and a half inches, slight curve to the left, and for lack of a better word, pretty. it sits prettily in your palm, has a pretty pink shade on the tip, and overall always leaves you satisfied. for what he can’t do with his cock, he has plenty of toys to compensate anyway.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he was pretty conservative about it at first, but once you gave him a taste of his desires and some of your own, he was hooked. what started as taking out his frustrations after a particular bad game became compounded with rewards after a particularly good game, and now he thinks of sex as a good luck charm before he even turns on his pc. so yeah, you got a pretty needy guy on your hands.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he’s out almost immediately. he puts a lot of effort into fucking you well, and i mean, he doesn’t have the best stamina despite years of volleyball. basically the pleasure goes straight into his brain, electrifies his nerves for a solid couple hours, and then the moment he cums it all just shuts down. if you make him drink some monster you’ll probably be able to fix the circuit board and get him started up again.

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[crescentsteel]

Keeping a Secret - Prologue

plot: ehehe lemme leave this blank for now as this is only a prologue genre: fluff, crack, slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, angst at some point wc: 2.7k

[a/n]

I am reeling just from finishing this one because Tsukki is my boy (Kuroo ily too i swear)

Who writes 2.7k words of prologue? lol me

I’ll set up the masterlist when I’m done with the 1st Chapter.

Thank you so much @oii-sugasan​ and @haikyuu-is-for-lovers​ for the betaread! :)

Let me know if you wanna be tagged

Chapter 1 || masterlist

You aren’t just annoying. You’re a fucking menace. Every time he goes to the gym, your presence is like a plague. You're just a manager, but sometimes he thinks that you think you’re the assistant coach. There’s nothing he’d love more than to shower you with the nastiest, most off-handed comments, just to shut you up and wipe the cheery grin that taunts him every time he sees you. 

Seriously, you’re all over the place -- you talk to all members of the team as if you’re a player yourself, you nag everyone to take care of themselves outside training like you’re their older sister, you hand out self-gathered information on upcoming matches as soon as matchups are announced, you scamper around the gym tossing balls, assembling the net, doing whatever the hell you can get your hands on, all the while wearing those stupid shorts that distract the majority of the team, especially the new members. 

As his eyes follow you, you suddenly turn around to face him, breaking him from his reverie. Even when you’re halfway across the gymnasium, he can see the sharp playfulness that you always exude whenever you talk to him. 

“Tsukishima!” You wave at him with that disgustingly sweet grin. “If you’re done staring at my sexy back, you can start your blocking drills, okay?!” you shout with a voice loud enough for everyone else in the gym to hear.  Tsukishima feels multiple sets of eyes glance towards his direction and he ‘tsks’ in annoyance under his breath.

He immediately walks away. He refuses to hear more of the unnecessary and untrue prattles directed at him by you.  

He hears footsteps follow him. Judging from its pace and heavy strides, he already knows its Kogane without even looking

“Oi, Tsukki. Do you like our manager?”

He doesn’t understand why Kogane is whispering when you’re half a court away from them. More than that, he doesn’t understand why Kogane assumes he likes you. For one, you were wrong: he wasn’t even staring at you. He was staring randomly at nothing while thinking  about how irritating you are and you just happened to be at his line of sight. 

“I don’t see anything to like about her,” he replies passively. 

“What? Why? She’s super helpful -- and pretty too.” Kogane, just like the rest of the team, believes so. Even Kyoutani is fond of you because of that one time you received his spike on full force. You rolled on your back from the sheer power of it but you were able to receive it perfectly, making the whole team go wild when you did, with him as the only exception as he found it inane. 

“If you think so, go confess or something then.” 

“You know we can’t!” Pink stains begin to surface on his teammate’s cheeks, obviously infatuated with you. Then again, this is not new to him. It was a basic reaction from anyone whose dick is more functional than their brain.  Maybe it’s because you’re the only female so close to everyone else. Honestly, he really doesn’t know. But one thing’s for sure. Kogane has 0 chances with you, and neither does every player of Sendai Frogs. 

He remembers the conceitedness you displayed even in your first year as a manager. You two became part of the team almost at the same time. He was two months in when the former manager introduced you to the team. As she finished introducing you, you whispered to her to add something. It went something like ‘oh, umm. y/n-chan also said that no one from the team can’t date her.’ Even the former manager looked at you weirdly but you were just there beaming as you bowed to everybody. 

They thought it was a joke, but when you became a full-pledged manager in less than six months, you announced it yourself. 

‘I know I’m kind of cute, but I won’t ever consider dating anyone from the team. Okay?’

You announce it with a sickening smile every time there are new members, reminding everyone else that you’re untouchable. 

It’s fucking atrocious, to him at least. Unlike the other players from his team, he’s not shallow enough to fancy you just because you’re not disgusting to look at, or that you did your managerial duties so exceedingly well.

He grits his teeth. He hates it. How can someone so chaotic as you be so effective in managing the team. What grinds him even more is that you go to the same university he does, and even there, your presence stinks. He once had a class with you only to find out that you’re not as dumb as you make yourself out to be. 

It’s infuriating. He can’t wait for the day you mess up -- only then would he finally get the chance to diss you. He’ll turn that shit-eating smile of yours upside down. 

--

Man, nothing boosts your mood better than bugging Tsukishima. When you felt his sinister stare boring at your back earlier, you just couldn’t waste the opportunity to say something about it. He just ignored you, but the scowl on his face was enough response to satisfy you. 

The truth is, you have nothing against Tsukishima. Yeah, he has a sharp tongue and a vile attitude, but hey, he’s a good team player. He doesn’t speak much, but he gets shit done in matches. Despite his foul personality, he’s actually manageable: he listens to you and he rarely shows up late. He’s not particularly motivating to look at, but he still does what’s asked of him. For some reason that you don’t know, he still hasn’t spat out his usual, rancid remarks towards you. You know he’s itching to, and honestly, you’re kind of curious of what he’ll throw your way. 

Still, for the last three years he kept his mouth shut even though he looks at you like you’re the most unpleasant being he’s ever laid eyes on. 

“Y/n!”

You jog towards the team coach, Coach Mira. “Yes, Coach?”

“Do you like Tsukishima?” she asks curiously. The question is funny to you but you hold back the laughter and smile instead.

You like Coach Mira a lot. She’s more like an older sister than a coach to you. You’re free to share a few laughs with her, and she values your input to the team. Maybe it’s because you’re both women drowned in a sea of male athletes that you sort of have that innate connection. 

“No, Coach. Why?”

“Cause you pay attention to him the most.”

“I don’t see what’s to like about him,” you veer your gaze towards his direction, watching his scowling face as he walks away, Koganegawa following closely behind him. You can’t hear them, but the sight is already amusing as it is. “I just like putting him in place whenever he’s being extra nasty,” you add. 

“If you say so, y/n. Honestly, I don’t really care if you go out with one of them.” 

You wave your hand back and forth like you’re swatting a fly. “No way, Coach. They’re like little boys I’m taking care of.”

She sweeps her gaze behind you, scanning all the players present in the court. “Can’t say they feel the same way though.” Then she looks at the same person you’re looking at. “Well, maybe except for Tsukishima.”

“That’s why I like messing around with him the most,” you admit with mirth as you watch Tsukishima get away from Kogane.

--

Everyone in the gymnasium is staring as they enter the arena. If there’s one thing opposing teams remember about the Sendai Frogs, it’s their female tandem of a stone-cold coach and a ‘hot,’ bubbly manager who walk side by side in front of the whole team, not the players.

It’s not really an issue for Tsukishima. He doesn’t really care. Shimizu had the same reputation back in high school. But you? You’re not Shimizu. You aren’t even close.

And you, being the chaotic mess that you are, you milked the attention. Whenever someone blatantly gapes at you,  you’d wave at them. You’d even entertain those who openly flirted with you. In retrospect, he should find it despicable. Rather finds it entertaining. So does the rest of the team.

When the Sendai Frogs reach their spot, a guy wearing a Tamaden Elephants jersey approaches you shamelessly. A brave (maybe a little bit foolish) act, considering you’re with the whole team.

“Hi!”

You turn around and greet him just as enthusiastically, maybe even more.

“I just want to say, great game from last season, he says as he scratches the back of his head. 

Liar. 

If the guy really wants to acknowledge the team’s play from last season, he’d approach one of the players. He also wouldn’t have that stupid blush on his awe-struck face. 

“Thank you! Great game indeed,” you return the compliment.

As soon as the guy starts fidgeting, Tsukishima can already guess what comes next: it’s either a date or your number.

“If you don’t mind, can I get your number?”

Tsukishima sneers at how predictable the scene is, and he can’t wait to see what comes next.

You beam at the guy. “Sure! It’s number 1.”

He still smiles even though he’s obviously dumb-founded. “Sorry, what?”

“My number, right? It’s 1. Cause we’re number 1 in the district,” You say with that fake innocence that isn’t really fooling anyone.

“...Uhh.”

“Go Sendai Frogs!” You cheer out of the blue and as if an automated response, the rest of the team, even Tsukishima (though lifelessly), answers.

“Sendai Frogs fight!”

The loud baritone of deep male voices drew the attention of other people in the area, brightening your face up even more as you focus on the guy in front of you again. He looks scandalized by what just happened. 

“How about you? What’s your number?” you ask, pushing the guy to a mental corner as Tsukishima and his team glares at him while waiting for how he’ll answer. An embarrassed blush replaces the previously infatuated one as he realizes that he shouldn’t have made the mistake of hitting on you. 

“I-I’m not really sure,” his voice loses any shred of confidence it once had.

“Oh. That’s too bad,” you feign sympathy. 

“Yeah.” The guy looks down. “Guess I’ll see you around,” he adds before retreating defeatedly.

“Bye! Nice to meet you,” you wave cordially. ‘Whoever you are, newbie elephant,’ you say to yourself as you watch the unfamiliar member of the Elephants go back to his team, a team you wiped the floor with last season.

Until now, you don’t understand why people still even bother. You welcomed the flirtations, but never really went out with anybody. You’re not really opposed to getting in a relationship, but like -- Gooood! They’re all so uninteresting. Rejecting them is more fun than the mere prospect of dating them.

You feel a familiar touch on your shoulder. 

“Good job boosting the team morale,” Coach Mari says in a volume that only you can hear as she pats you.

“Thanks, Coach!” You grin at her praise. 

You turn around to check your players and your eyes instantly land on Tsukishima who had just put on his white headphones and began scrolling at his phone. Around him, everyone else has already started stretching. 

You bounce your way to him, knowing that you’d instantly get his attention even without saying anything. But even with you ogling when you stopped in front of him, he still doesn’t budge.

“Tsukishima.”

No response.

‘Heh,’ you snicker internally. He never fails to amuse you when he tries to ignore you. 

“Tsu~ ki~ shi~ ma~” You bob your head sideways, popping at the opposing sides of his phone so he’ll notice you.

You don’t miss the minute twitch of his eyes as he drags his phone closer to him in an attempt to shut you out. 

Tsk tsk. He should know better by now that you're not the type to back away. 

You go beside him instead, tiptoeing so you can see what he’s so busy looking at. As soon as your arms touch his, he puts down his phone and irritatedly removes his headphones. 

He’s shooting daggers at you, making you giddy with excitement as he looks like he’s about to say something you. You hold his gaze with a raised eyebrow and subtle smirk that you couldn’t suppress. Did he get fed up already? Is he finally going to say something?

‘Do it. Do it. Do it,’ you chant in your head. 

He takes in a painful deep breath instead. “What?” The single word contains so much disdain that you want to cackle so bad. 

“Shouldn’t you be stretching?” you query.

“In a bit.”

You leisurely shake your head with disapproval. “I know you’re a lazy ass fucker sometimes,” you begin. “But you always help us win. You’re our meanest, tallest, best blocker.” Your gaze drops down to his ankles and travels up.

“So,” you continue, dropping your voice amusedly, “stretch those gorgeous, God-given, legs you have.” Your eyes linger on his thighs before landing up to his face to smile sweetly at him. “Will you?”

This is one of the moments you’re pretty sure he won’t dare talk back at you. Why? Because you’re one hundred percent right, and he knows that too. 

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hate it.

He glares at you for one second and walks towards the rest of the team to join them. 

--

Playing at the professional level, he always considers one match to be a big win already, even if it’s just the first match of the regular rounds. Ever since he became a starter for Sendai Frogs, he was not allowed to slack off even for one rally. He could take the lecture if it’s from Coach, but he couldn’t stomach it if it’s from you. 

Even before the match started, you were already on his grill, pestering him just because he wasn’t warming up yet. He was pissed the whole game and put extra effort than usual to make sure that you won’t have anything to say after. 

“Um, excuse me.” A girl from Red Rabbits blocks him on his way to the restroom. “Tsukishima, right?”

He can tell that she is trying her best to look nonchalant, but the familiar tint on her face is telling.

Tsukishima had never understood girls who approach him for anything remotely romantic. Does he look like he’s interested? It’s not that he’s not open to the idea of dating, but he finds it unpleasant when people go after him because they like how he plays. Worse, for some obtuse reason like him being ‘cute.’

“Yes. Why?”

She smiles at him bashfully with her arms crossed behind her. “I’m also a middle blocker. I was really inspired with how you read block so well. If it’s okay with you, can you teach me how you do it?”

Why would he do that? He’s already a senior college student who’s also a professional athlete. He has no reason to go out of his way to teach someone read blocking. Especially someone who’s already supposed to know it since (as she claims) she’s also a middle blocker. Judging from where they currently are, someone from Division 1 no less. 

“Sorry. I’m really busy,” he says bluntly. 

“Oh, okay. Sorry for bothering you.” She bows then takes off immediately. 

He watches as the girl from Red Rabbits scampers off as quickly as humanly possible. Did she really think he’d agree to it?

He is too occupied to notice the faint sound of footsteps behind him, and only when you speak does he notice your presence.

“Aww, poor girl going out of her way to ask you out.” 

He groans. Why are you even here? You’re supposed to be checking on the team since their match just ended.

You fall into step beside him as he brushes your comment off and continues heading for the rest rooms.

“I didn’t ask her to,” he calmly responds despite your irksome presence. 

“How are you going to get a girlfriend like that?” you ask exaggeratedly as if not getting in a relationship will lead to his ruin.

“I don’t need one.”

You gasp. “Damn, Tsukishima. Men your age are all about raging hormones. Where do you put all that raging testosterone?”

He purses his lips in a corner, his jaw tensing at your remark. Men his age? You talk as if you’re older when you’re in the same year he is.

Also, what the fuck?

Now you’re nagging about his personal life too? You’re already aggravating as the team manager. Now you’re even sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.

His blatant irritation must have shown in his face because you suddenly let out a giggle. “My bad, my bad. Don’t look so scary. Geez. Where you get action is none of my business. I just followed you to let you know that we’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

You turn around, about to go back but stop before you make the first step. “Oh, and we have a meeting later. I did the stat sheets of the game and gave it to the coach already. Great blocking, Tsukishima!” You pat his shoulder twice with a proud smile, then saunter off back to the arena. 

Damn it. If only you aren’t so good at being a manager, he would actually be able to dislike you to the fullest. Not only that, he wouldn’t feel that silly, tiny contentment he felt upon hearing you.

Chapter 1 || masterlist

Taglist:(those crossed out can’t be tagged)

@ameliaxo @suikrem​​ @akaashisslave @tsumurai​​  @babythotshq​​ 

[falloutjay]

Could you do Josh Myers with a childish s/o? Your writings are amazing!

Heya anon!

I'm so sorry for taking so long, I was searching for a new apartment the last few weeks and it honestly made me crazy but today I finally got a call! Yay, and since that really boosted my motivation, I finally managed to finish your request.

It's rather short, but I hope you don't mind. I tried my best to characterise Josh so hopefully, you like it! Love all of you guys and I hope you had a great weekend!

________________________________

Josh Myers x childish!S/O

You ran around the playground, dark eyes following your every move. You climbed the different climbing contraptions, smiling wide.

The dark eyes that watched you belonged to Josh Myers. The former Alamosa Maximum Security Juvenile Hall inmate was sitting at one of the older benches with some of his prison friends.

It was a catch-up meeting, listening to what they were now doing outside of jail.

No one expected Josh to bring his partner, especially someone like you, who seemed so different from him.

“Okay, how?” One of the boys asked and followed Josh’s gaze. He finally stopped watching you like a hawk and turned to the friend that asked.

“They are lovely. You haven’t even properly met them yet.” He said, his sly smile never once leaving his face.

“Yeah, but like…You are such a calm and somewhat scary person, and they seem like they are the life of a party and are so active.”

Another friend commented and made Josh chuckle. “Ever heard about opposites attract?”

Josh took a sip of the water bottle he brought, and his eyes automatically wandered back to you, who now played hide and seek with some of the children on the playground.

“I did, but honestly… I expected you to be with someone like you. Gloomy, somewhat creepy, your I'm your and someone who fits with a bad boy like you.”

His last friend now also joined in. They could only make Josh chuckle and roll his eyes.

His mouth never once not mischievously smiling.

“Well, I am happy, that’s all that matters right? I'm sure you just don’t see how perfect they are like I do.”

His friends nodded or also watched you play. Their conversation shifted once more, and they were talking about what jobs they would like to do and how their parents reacted to them coming home.

When it was getting late and the sun started to set, you walked up to the unusual group of friends who were chatting vividly.

You carefully put your hand on Josh’s shoulder, making him immediately turn his head and looking at you.

A content smile appeared on his face as he got.

“Well, it was lovely to see all of you again my dear friends, but I am afraid we will have to part our way for now.”

You liked how different Josh expressed himself than all the other boys in South Park.

You just stood next to him, waiting for him to finish off the goodbye hugs and handshakes, while you just waved when his friends said goodbye to you too.

Soon enough, Josh’s hand sneaked its way to yours and carefully pulled you with him.

While you were walking back to your house, he asked: “Did you enjoy today? I hope you don’t feel neglected since I was catching up with the boys.” Smiling widely, you shook your head.

“Not at all. I know you looked over a lot and I had loads of fun playing with the younger kids, it was great.”

“Happy to hear, love.” Josh lifted your hand up to his face, pressing a sweet kiss onto the back of it.

“I don’t want to end the day just yet and I have an idea what we could do.” He said and now let go of your hand to reach into his backpack.

You smiled just as wide as him when he pulled some toilet paper out.

“Who do you have in mind?” You asked, knowing full well that Josh probably knew whose house he wanted to vandalize.

“Well, Mister Garrison has been a mean teacher to my favorite person, so I think he needs a lesson.” You both grinned evilly and now changed your path I'm to your teacher’s house.

“I love that you support my odd guilty pleasure.”

“You’re my partner in crime, I can’t let you down. I also feel it’s the only time you act just as childish as me.”

Josh laughed rather loudly, looking forward to arriving at Garrison’s house.

Josh loves having a partner with who he can share his sometimes-childish side with. And he is more than happy that it is you.

[hp-crossgenfest]

2020 HP Cross Gen Fest Masterlist & Reveals

And now the moment we've all been waiting for…​ reveals!

Thank you so very much to everyone who has made this fest such an amazing success! Everyone who submitted stories and art, and those who read, reviewed and recced: You guys are the best! And an extra big thank you to those of you who made that extra effort to comment on all the wonderful creations. <3 <3 <3

It's been so much fun getting to post everybody's works and seeing so much wonderful support for HP cross gen; I hope you all enjoyed the fest as much as we did! 

Without further ado, here's a list of all the wonderful participants who worked so hard to create such glorious things for this year's fest!

ART

MyWitch drew absolution [Aberforth/Severus | Mature] Snape is released after a couple of years in Azkaban; the terms of his parole include apologizing in person to Albus Dumbledore’s brother. His stoicism falls apart in the face of Aberforth’s forgiveness.

@paulamcg​ drew A Portrait with Someone New [Luna/Remus | Teen] Luna and Remus happily expecting (in 2004).

@gee-nx​ drew Extra Credit [Hermione/Teddy | Explicit] Teddy has trouble concentrating in Prof. Granger-Weasley's class. However will he manage to make up the extra credit?

@defenestrationisthekey​ drew A day in the sun [Harry/Severus | General] Severus has been turned into a merman without his consent. Harry still accepts them and helps them reconcile the change, see its benefits, and get some of their own back.

@paulamcg​ drew One Bright Day [Amelia/Tonks | General] Amelia and Tonks meeting under an umbrella and a rainbow.

@motherofmercury​ drew What Lily Knew [Draco/Lily Luna | General] Draco and Lily attend the same adult art class, but it isn't until he sees her finished piece that he understands what Lily knew all along.

FIC

@ac1d6urn​ wrote Talk to Me [Harry/Severus | Explicit] Sentenced to serve his time in Azkaban after the Battle of Hogwarts, Snape is startled out of his depression by the inevitable fights during Potter's frequent visits. What will he say to the man when he is free to walk out into the Wizarding World and speak his mind?

@malenkayacherepakha​ wrote Everything he's ever wanted [Harry/Teddy | Explicit] Teddy had hoped that a few years in Australia would be enough to cure him of his feelings for Harry, but when he returns home and gets some unexpected news, he can't stop the feelings rushing back. The only difference is, this time he might actually have a chance.

ThePeanutButterKid wrote The Apprenticeship [Draco/Lily Luna | Explicit] Prompt: Draco always gets what he wants. Even if he has to take it by force.

@gracerene09​ wrote Battleline [Draco/James Sirius | Explicit] The wizarding world believes James Sirius Potter works for his uncle as a Curse-Breaker, but the truth is that he's one of the Auror Department's most effective undercover agents. After months of waiting he's finally got a new case, but this assignment involves him going in as himself, without the disguises he's come to rely on. More importantly, he's meant to be taking down the one person long-suspected of being the most influential wizard in Britain's criminal underworld: Draco Malfoy.

@theslytherinheart​ wrote Truth from Dare [Harry/Scorpius | Teen] During a late night game of Truth or Dare after a fun Saturday out with Albus, Rose, and their friends, Scorpius finds himself being kissed by Harry Potter as a dare. But it's just a game, right?

Evandar wrote we who walk in shadows black [Harry/Lord Voldemort | Mature] In which Harry Potter is a vicious little gremlin who knows too much, and Lord Voldemort adores him for it.

Lilian wrote Advanced Lunacy [Harry/Severus | Mature] Luna accidentally discovers something, and now the whole Wizarding World is abuzz about it. Meanwhile, Snape keeps appearing in Harry's dreams frequently.

@siriuslythatbitch wrote There's No Such Thing as Getting Out of Hand [Narcissa/Pansy | Explicit] When Narcissa Malfoy finds herself confronted with a tempting treat all grown up, will she quash her appetite or sink her teeth in?

@lordofthegoods wrote The Most Expensive Date [Harry/Scorpius | Explicit] Harry just wanted a quiet evening at home, instead he is being auctioned off at a charity event like a piece of meat. Prepared to have a terrible night, Harry is incredibly relieved when the highest bidder turns out to be none other than Scorpius Malfoy—a nice boy who couldn’t possibly have an ulterior motive... right?

@likelightinglass wrote the gentleness that comes [Harry/Severus | Explicit] There's something bothering Severus, and Harry wants to help. It's easier for Severus to let go when he's exploring his submissive side, so Harry plans a weekend to show him just how loved he is, and how much Harry wants to care for him.

@ivyentwined wrote A Technicality [Hermione/Rabastan/Regulus | General] A ritual to cleanse Hermione's new house has unexpected consequences.

@sistersblack wrote a little bit of grit [Draco/Severus | Mature] Draco is a contract potioneer who specialises in medical research. Severus is... not dead, for one.

@freddie-fox-baxter wrote Vacanze Romane [Harry/Scorpius | Explicit] When he let Scorpius help plan his vacation, Harry had no idea just how involved he would be.

torino10154 wrote Her Pleasure [Draco/Lily Luna & Harry/Narcissa | Explicit] He likes to please his woman.

ivermectin wrote no wrong answers [Harry/Remus/Sirius | Explicit] It's almost five years since the war ended, and after an intense bout of aimless wandering and travel, Harry's come back home and is living at Grimmauld Place with Remus and Sirius. Their relationship fills him up with warmth - they deserve to be happy, and it's obvious that he wants what they have. But maybe, just maybe, Harry wants more than a relationship like the one Remus and Sirius have. Maybe he wants that relationship. Maybe he wants them.

@sportivetricks​ wrote Gouge Away [Millicent/Victoire | Teen] The Weasley girl has developed a keen fascination with Millicent's woodworking shop. Millicent can't seem to get rid of her, no matter how hard she tries.

@articcat621 wrote Late One Night [Hermione/Kingsley | Explicit] Late one night, Hermione finally makes her move. 

slowroad wrote Hyperion [Harry/Scorpius | General] Scorpius is a Veela and Harry is his mate.

Evandar wrote Summer Rain [Harry/Regulus | Explicit] A rainy day gives Harry the perfect opportunity to seduce Regulus.

pauraque wrote Summer Heat [Lily Luna/Luna | Explicit] A unexpected visit from Lily's godmother makes a boring summer weekend suddenly a lot less boring.

@liladiurne wrote On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells [Harry/Severus | Explicit] Divorced, single, and free, Harry lives a completely unapologetic life in Paris. Between casual hook-ups and an easy, comfortable job, he likes to think he is as close to happiness as he'll ever be. And when he gets offered a teaching job at the prestigious Académie Beauxbâtons, he thinks he may have found exactly what was missing. But Harry is thoroughly unprepared for what he finds there - a familiar face that's been haunting his dreams for six years.

@goldenzingy46 wrote Save Me From Her Stone-Cold Gaze [Harry/Tom Riddle | General] Tom Riddle has spent years looking for the Chamber of Secrets, and he's glad he can finally purge the school of Mudbloods. At least, that was the plan. It turns out the basilisk wasn't happy to be controlled, and Tom is forced to make a deal with the Master of Death (and maybe fall in love with him).

@epsilonargus wrote break on me like light [Charlie/Sirius | Mature] When the Order brings Sirius Black to Charlie, the man is still covered in the grime of Azkaban. A story wherein Sirius is still a little broken, calls Charlie kid, and Charlie is far too sweet.

@lordofthegoods wrote Fire for You [Harry/Scorpius | Explicit] Nothing can make them keep their hands off each other.

@evenmyzefronposter wrote Waving Through A Window, Suddenly [Harry/Severus | Explicit] Severus Snape was alive and free and perfectly satisfied with his life. He stayed away from other people and he did what he wanted. And if he felt like he was looking through a window at everyone else, that was alright, because he didn't need them anyway. Until Harry Potter moved in across the street, that is. Suddenly, just looking through the window wasn't enough for Severus anymore.

azyxy wrote Trying not to think [Hermione/Teddy | Explicit] She couldn't even remember the last time her and Ron had left the lights on during sex, let alone the last time he’d complimented her, so watching Teddy struggle to keep his hands to his side while she stepped out of her dress was quite the ego boost.

mindabbles wrote Puddlemere’s New Man [Oliver/Teddy | Explicit] Teddy is willing to put in the work. He’s willing to practice twice as hard as anyone else, except that no one can out-work Oliver — a fact that Teddy finds he doesn’t mind in the least.

@clemandben wrote Maybe I'm Amazed [Albus Severus/Draco | Explicit] Albus Potter never set out to fall in love with Draco Malfoy. A small story telling how Albus and Draco came to be married. On their wedding night they dance, talk and make love.

@dwell-on-dreams wrote Learning to Fly [Harry/Severus | Mature] Post-war, Severus is found not guilty, but due to the stigma in the Wizarding world, he decides to live life as a Muggle, leaving everything (but his wand) behind. Harry is overwhelmed, barely having any time to grieve, he keeps being recognised in the street and strangers ask too much of him. He finds solace in the Muggle world, finally exploring who he is without the threat of death, he finds himself in a Muggle kink club watching Severus Snape tying up a young man, and he wants.

@theslytherinheart wrote Best Man [Harry/Scorpius | Mature] In the years since his divorce from Ginny, Harry Potter hasn't cared much for dating, let alone had feelings for anyone strong enough to pursue. Now that his son's wedding is on the horizon, the Best Man, Scorpius Malfoy, has been spending extra time getting input from the Father of the Groom. And Harry finds he doesn't mind Scorpius' constant company one bit.

hannelore wrote The Ache For Love Was Palpable [Lily/Minerva | Mature] Lily once had a crush no one ever knew about. She thought it was just a schoolgirl pash on a favorite professor, but working for the Order throws her and McGonagall constantly together. Even though she's a married woman now, Lily's feelings for Minerva come back in a rush, even stronger than before. "I didn't know then what I wanted, but the ache for it was palpable." - Sue Monk Kidd, The Mermaid Chair

@emansil wrote Fields of Strawberries [Harry/Remus | Explicit] As much as Remus has done for Harry over the years, this is the least he could do. Little did Harry know what he would discover about himself when he volunteered to marry Remus so he could keep custody of his infant son Teddy.

@avioleta wrote Writing Harry [Harry/Severus | Explicit] After the war, Harry Potter begins writing letters to Severus.

[pandoraswrld]

IT WAS JUST A LITTLE MISTAKE

— in which the girls finally debut, told from hime’s point of view

characters / nakano hime, hwang yewon, lee jangmi, the rest of the black rose ensemble, mentions of the girls’ manager

words / 2k

warnings / lots of shouting and swearing, guilt-tripping, arguing, someone slams their fist on the table and it’s just not nice

this is a rewrite of my first writing piece! not much has changed but it’s updated to be more accurate!

The first music show stage, an idol could never forget it. The rush you feel as the adrenaline pumps through your veins and the crowd roars on for you. For some it may be a bad experience, perhaps someone heckles you or maybe there’s no one there at all, but the Black Rose girls were determined to make sure that their debut stage would be the one to stand out.

“This is crazy cool!” Hime peers ahead at the stage just ahead of the girls. While the floor was mostly bare, the led screens in the background displayed falling diamonds all around the stage, accompanied with flashing lights of white and red.

Jangmi pulled all the girls into a close huddle, bringing their heads in to close off the outside world, “This is it girls, the moment we’ve all been waiting for and one we cannot mess up!”

Jangmi was always so determined, from the days she joined SM to the moments that would soon define her career. Hime noted their leader’s eyes twinkling with something she rarely saw in her anymore, passion, she could see passion building in the older girl and it made her smile just the tiniest bit.

“I want you guys to give it your all, this is our chance to show the public that we are stars!” She threw her hand into the circle, followed by the eight others, for one quick cheer of good luck, “Black Rose, fighting!”

All of a sudden the stage feels way bigger than it actually is, a weight lifting Hime down as she finds her position on the ground. There’s nothing to worry about, she tells herself in an attempt to exhale all of her worries, it’s not like this is her first time on a stage. She turns her head slightly to find Lyra’s eyes meeting hers, a soft smile gracing her face, calming Hime down only a little bit. 

Hime figures a little bit of fear is good, it ensures that you will always perform at your best. It was always a scary thought that something would go wrong, but that fear only helped boost her in hopes that her confidence will carry her through all the worries. And now she’s ready.

It surprises her a little when the audience immediately bursts into a round of cheers as the far-too familiar beat of Rise starts playing. She never knew they had that many people watching them so early on, probably thousands more heads hidden behind the darkness at the back of the studio. It felt good, it felt great, to be an actual idol. In that moment, it was everything any one of them had ever dreamed about and they finally achieved it.

It wasn’t long before Hime’s first line came up, an exciting spring in her step as her sickly sweet voice and a flip of her golden blonde hair did all the work. Everything seemed to be going perfectly, Lyra following Hime with her own airy vocals and then it was Yewon’s line. Hime’s eyes could only catch a glimpse of Yewon beside her but her heart dropped as she started to notice the girl fumble.

Yewon knew this dance, Hime knows she did. All of them had practiced it over and over, day and night, but Yewon always stayed behind just to put in that little bit more work. Neither of them know why her leg turned that way instead of the other, neither of them know why she’s the only one twisting left instead of right. Yewon’s mistake disrupts the synchronicity the girls had perfected and in knowing that she just moves on like nothing happened in order to quickly catch up to the rest of the girls, Hime hoping that the mistake would be quickly forgotten.

However both of them knew, she fucked up.

Hime can’t keep glancing back at Yewon as the song continues on, it would only disturb the performance even more. A feeling of anxiety settles in her chest as dread settles in Yewon’s, but they made sure no one would be able to tell as they painted their faces with peppy expressions and even wider smiles than before. 

Soon, the chorus started to blast through the speakers of the stage and all of them had an unmistakable energy as they continued to dance. The rest of the performance went well, screams from the crowd almost drowning out the sound of their own voice as all the girls reached their very last lines. All the girls wore massive grins for their fans before they were ushered off the stage in order to prepare for their next stage.

“That was amazing! I’ve never felt better!” Sera’s face was unbelievably happy, her and Juliet jumping for joy as the girls walked back to their dressing room. 

The girls had only one more performance left and the award ceremony until they could finally leave and get some rest. However, the next hour was not without its fair share of hostile tension and deafening silences between the girls and Jangmi, who had held a darkened expression and furrowed eyebrows ever since they left the stage.

Their manager, Hyesun, pulled Yewon aside at the end, most likely to talk to her about her mistake but Hime was too far away to catch a sound of what they were discussing. Hime knows Hyesun, she knows she’s not going to yell at Yewon or do anything to hurt her, she understands. Still, she can’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong because of this mistake, be it now or in the coming days, and the feeling was not aided by the painstakingly long journey home without the lively chatter of the other girls.

Finally they reached the dorms, although all of them felt uncomfortable together. Yewon sat on the corner of their navy sofa biting her nails and chipping away the pale pink nail polish along with it. Hime was the first to notice as the young girl sat nervously, immediately throwing an arm over her to embrace Yewon.

“You did fine.” Hime whispered into Yewon’s ear, placing a soft kiss to her temple. 

“Don’t lie to her Hime.” Jangmi said without even looking at the pair.

It felt as though the world stopped upon hearing Jangmi’s voice. It was so quiet and calm, but anybody could hear the poison and anger behind it, even Lyra and Aejung held onto each other in anticipation for what she would say next.

“She messed up and you know our trainers don’t allow mistakes.” The older girl finally turned around to Hime and Yewon, her face still gorgeous despite the scowling expression, “How could you even think of ruining our debut performance like that?”

“Jangmi, it was barely a mistake and she got back on track as fast as she could–“ Hime started before being interrupted by their leader.

“Don’t coddle her Hime, she fucked all of us over!” She slammed her fist down onto the kitchen counter, causing a few of the girls to jump.

“Have you met these netizens? They will find any problems with us and rip us to shreds, who knows what bad things they’ll say about us to drag our name, my name!” Jangmi’s voice raised considerably as her anger began to get the best of her, “And it will be all her fault!”

“Jangmi–” another girl tried to interfere but it was no use in the state she was in.

“No! What would our superiors think of us when even they were unsure if we should debut so early?” She pushed a hand through her thick, dark hair in frustration, groaning as she started to walk away from the rest of the girls.

Sera was the only girl to follow Jangmi. Hime wasn’t sure what the motivations behind Sera’s actions were, to be fair she never really did. Every one of those girls, even Hyesun, knew of Jangmi’s temperament and how bad things could get if she decided to take this frustration even further and yet Sera still spoke to her with hushed words. How dare Jangmi accuse her of coddling Yewon, Hime thought, not when she needed to be calmed down like she was a toddler.

“Jangmi, please, the yelling is over the top.” Hyebin joined Hime’s defence of Yewon, “I’m sure no one even noticed what she did.”

“It doesn't matter, we’re an SM group and these kinds of mistakes are unacceptable!” Sera was now holding Jangmi back from the girls as she started to rush towards them.

“C’mon guys, she’s right, who knows what they’ll say to us when we go back to the SM building?” Sera was now showing signs of actually giving a fuck when an exasperated sigh leaving her mouth. Sometimes Hime wished the girl cared more about anyone that wasn’t herself or Jangmi.

“She doesn’t have to scream at the poor girl, she’s only seventeen!” Lyra rebutted.

“And Juliet’s fourteen, yet she made no mistakes!” Jangmi rolled her eyes.

“How would you feel if someone got onto you like that over something so little?” Hyebin scoffed, turning her back on everyone else.

“They did.” She muttered under her breath, garnering some annoyed stares from the others at Jangmi’s sudden quiet tone.

“Oh really? Well then you should know exactly what it feels like!” Hyebin’s cheeks started to heat up, anger rising in her own body.

“Why don’t we actually look at the comments,” Aejung suggested with a tired face, “Prove that it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

There was another long wait, the girls’ centuries old laptop taking forever to load up. This time the silence was agitating, Hyebin and Jangmi sharing snarky looks at each other like children, whilst Yewon simply laid quietly beside Hime, she hadn't said a word in the last twenty minutes.

At last the naver page had loaded the Rise performance, the thumbnail of which featured all of them with such proud faces. Hime wished things could just be still like that moment. 

Aejung’s scrolling was almost agonisingly slow as she took the time to read each comment, the corners of her mouth turning up upon seeing compliments for herself. 

“See it’s mostly good!” Juliet exclaimed, sounding as though she couldn’t wait for this argument to be over.

Jangmi carelessly pushed herself in between Hyebin and Sera to see closer, doing her own scan as if she didn’t trust the words of anyone else. Dramatically, her finger pointed out one comment.

“So this is SM’s new girl group? They should just stick to Red Velvet, none of these girls look like idols!” Jangmi almost sounds proud to say such hateful words, it makes Hime scoff.

“If they remove that short girl the group will be perfect.” 

“I can’t believe they made a mistake on the debut stage, how can SM allow this?” 

“Stop!” Lyra raised her voice to interrupt Jangmi’s continuing comments, “We get the point, no need to shove it in our faces.”

“But that’s exactly what I have to do if any of us want to learn from this!” Jangmi’s arms were crossed, her vicious tone replaced with a more disappointed one all of a sudden.

“It was just a little mistake.” Yewon’s voice was small, barely even audible but everyone heard it.

All heads turned to the girl, her figure tiny and weak as she continued to bite her nails almost all the colour gone from one finger. Hime hated Jangmi for doing this to her, she didn’t deserve it with all of the hours she alone had put into finally making her debut.

“Clearly it wasn’t.” Was all Jangmi had to say before leaving the living room, slamming her bedroom door shut. It left an annoyingly loud echo.

“I’m sorry.” Yewon's voice started to choke, tears beginning to stream down her face. 

It was only the beginning of their career, yet somehow this moment felt as though it was the end. Everything they had put work into to get to this point, the years of training they’d suffered through, for one simple fight to ruin everything? Hime hated the idea of it but that’s exactly what it looked like.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Ray Sinclair

(My borderline alright gif)(Welcome to my first underrated movie headcanons post! This is from the movie Something Wild (1986))

(If you’re going to learn anything about me from this blog then you’ll learn that I’m a big fan of criminals.)

- You and Ray first met while you were dating a friend of his. He’d just gotten out of a stint in prison when you and your boyfriend had happened across him on the street. The two men greeted each other warmly as you stood off to the side, wondering who the hell this guy was.

- Finally, your boyfriend turned and introduced the two of you, letting Ray get his first good look at you. That was all it took for him to decide he wanted you and let’s just say that when Ray wants something...he gets it.

- He doesn’t immediately try to put the moves on you. If there’s anything Ray is its conniving and cunning; he’s willing to wait to make sure he gets things right. He studies your relationship, taking note of its weak points; all the touchy subjects and things that make you incompatible.

- At the same time he gets closer to you, showing you a good time and getting you addicted to the rush of adrenaline and the thrill that comes with being around him.

- Isn’t it sad that a man you barely know brings more excitement to your life than your own boyfriend. But that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? That’s exactly what he wants you to think but it isn’t like he’s putting up a facade. He’s showing you exactly what it’s like to be with him, he just knows that the lifestyle will be too alluring for you to resist.

- Ray isn’t a great person, he knows that, everyone knows that. He’s a conman, a criminal, a bastard, the list can go on. Him being vindictive and two faced with your ex boyfriend is just the tip of the iceberg but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t actually care about you. He loves you that’s for sure, enough to plot an entire scheme to get you for himself.

- Honestly, all your relationship needed to fall apart was a little push and he was happy to provide it. A little instigation on his part and the two of you were exchanging screaming insults.

- It was only a matter of time before you two officially split up and let’s just say it wasn’t on good terms. Ray was the one who swooped in and comforted you, calling your ex an ass and offering to get your stuff from his apartment.

- To be fair you weren’t all that upset, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how much he was dragging you down. You were finally free to do whatever you wanted and so...Ray asked you to run off with him.

- You’d been happily prancing around your room when he first asked, too caught up in your own excitement to hear him correctly so you had to ask him to repeat himself.

- When you finally heard the question you were shocked, the smile faded from your face a bit as you processed what he was actually asking you. Sure you’d wanted to leave your town for a while, see the world a little and live your life but could you really do it, and with Ray for that matter? Sure he was attractive and you liked him a lot but this was a huge step. You couldn’t exactly go back once you’d started.

- It took you a minute to come to your decision. You were free... and you were gonna stay free. You packed up your things, kissed your life goodbye and hopped in the car with him, never looking back.

- Whatever you want to do the two of you will do. Is it considered a date if you’re just living out your lives together?

- You rarely leave each other’s sides and you rarely want to. You’re as comfortable as can be with each other.

- Lots of pda, homeboy would legitimately fuck you in public if you let him.

- His go-to pet name is baby and he calls you it often.

- Ray can be a real sweetheart when he wants to be and he saves all his sweetheart points for you. You’re the only person he’s ever nice to without there being an ulterior motive behind it.

- He honestly thinks you’re the most amazing girl he’s ever met. You’re beautiful, smart, sweet, talented; the list could go on and he’d happily read it out to you if you cant see what he does.

- He loves having you model clothes for him. He’d steal you expensive outfits just so he could watch you try them on and tear them off you afterwards.

- Acting gentlemanly has never been like a conscious decision of his, he just opens doors for you (etc) because that’s what you’re “supposed to do”.

- You do a lot of moving around so get used to being in cars and packing up your stuff constantly.

- Sleeping in the passenger seat of his car while he drives to your next destination. When you’re awake, he likes to keep one hand on your thigh and the other on the steering wheel.

- Ray has no shame and that’s a fact. He isn’t afraid to make a fool of himself for you.

- He always checks on you when he thinks something may be wrong. He may overreact a little in certain situations but it’s all coming a good place.

- You catch him staring a lot, sometimes it’s innocent other times it feels like he wants to eat you alive.

- He’s really protective of you, that’s part of the reason why he watches you so much. He doesn’t like having you out of his sight just in case something happens to you or you need him.

- He finds nearly everything you do amusing. You could be killing someone and he’d find a way to make a teasing comment about it.

- He takes pride in seeing you become more like him. Whenever you do something wild he can’t help but smile.

- He’s probably taught you how to use a gun. You spend some weekends sitting in an isolated area with him, shooting cans off of broken fences and bins.

- Learning how to patch him up and reset his broken noses. Get used to blood, that’s all I’m saying.

-Sometimes he genuinely amazes you with how tough he is. You don’t think you’ve ever met anyone in your life that can handle a broken nose like it’s just an inconvenience.

- He likes going through your things so I don’t suggest owning things you wouldn’t want him finding. He does it out of curiosity and boredom rather than suspicion so don’t read into it too much.

- He’s very...convincing. It’s hard to resist him when he asks you to do something or asks to do something to you.

- Play wrestling and just being overall kinda rough with each other.

- He’s one hell of a kisser. He takes your breath away on a daily basis.

- He likes to people watch and make fun of everyone with you.

- He has a thing for your shoulders. He just always seems to be touching them in some way whether it be laying his head on one or wrapping his arm around both of them.

- Late night trips around town. You have a lot of fond memories under the stars.

- Even if he thinks something is silly he can’t help but do it for you just to see you smile.

- Keeping a list of all the motels and hotels that you’ve visited...It’s a long list.

- He likes being able to carry you into your motel room/bedroom after you’ve fallen asleep in his car or on the couch. There’s just something about it that’s so precious to him.

- Sleeping in his shirts with your head resting on his arm and his body pressed against your back.

- Probably has your name tattooed somewhere on him. He also may or may not have gotten it done while in prison.

- Be prepared for a lot of surprises, he likes seeing the look on your face when he catches you completely off guard.

- Likes when you play with his hair. You can always calm him down with it, it’s your own little secret weapon against him.

- Fights are screaming matches but he never lets either one of you walk away. You’re going to fight until things get fixed and that’s just how it’s going to be even if he has to stand by and watch you cool off for an hour. The both of you can go to bed angry with each other but you’re still sleeping side by side and that’s final.

- He hates upsetting you; he always apologizes and knows exactly what to do to make things better though.

- To a certain degree he knows almost exactly what you need and want. Sometimes it’s annoying how right he is about you but other times it’s helpful. You find solace in the fact that there’s certain things about you that he’s just dead wrong about or that he doesn’t know about at all.

- Occasionally, he gets kind of insecure about your relationship because he isn’t sure if he can provide you with the future that you really want. Sure, his adrenaline junky, carefree ways are fun now but how long are you going to think so?

- He has high hopes for you even though you’ve chosen to spend your days with a dirtbag like him.

- He’s often quick to jealousy but he hides it well...to people other than you at least. You know the way he is so you can always spot the little quirks and cues that tell you he’s getting ticked off. That and the fact that he’ll grill you on who “that guy was” after you’ve walked away from them.

- Sometimes he’s ready to start a full on fist fight after hearing someone use a pickup line on you. Other times he likes to stand around and listen to guys talk about or attempt to flirt with you just to see how quickly their faces fall once they realize you’re together. Occasionally he’ll do both of those things just for the additional ego boost.

- He’s willing to fight for a woman like you.

- He likes telling you about his different robberies and schemes. Whenever he commits some kind of crime he just has to brag to you or mock the people he just messed with.

- You’re probably going to have to visit him in prison at least once, just saying. But hey, if you’re with him you already know what you signed up for

- He’s never afraid to admit how much he missed you.

- Even if you broke up with him (probably because of him being in prison, let’s be honest) he’d still be caught up on you and wouldn’t be able to stop himself from trying to get you back by any means necessary.

- He absolutely melts on the inside whenever you tell him you love him, especially if it’s after a fight or when you’re getting back together after a long time apart.

- Ray is a charmer so it wouldn’t be hard for him to get your parents to like him, it’s probably best that you leave out the fact that he’s been to prison though.

- You probably have a Vegas wedding on a whim one night pretty early into your relationship because that’s just how your relationship is. Funnily enough, you don’t regret it one bit.

[celestialnocturnes]

a day in a woman’s life

trigger warning: sexual abuse

as if the vexing sound of the alarm clock separating you from the sweet peace of sleep wasn’t enough, you find yourself waking up to a disgusting pool of red stain on your bed. ah, the monthly visitor has come, you whisper disappointedly. the day’s off already off to a bad start and you can’t even get up because of your excruciating cramps.

you must have been used to battling with the monthly enemy that after a few seconds of struggle, you found yourself walking towards the bathroom now ready to start the day. as you undress yourself and stare at your reflection, your imperfections begin to make fun of you. those stretch marks, those hairy armpits, those belly fats, and oh god that obnoxious figure. times are different now. magazines tell you to embrace your flaws and love your body. say, was it supposed to be revolutionary? what if i don’t love my body, you ask? does that make me any less of a person, of a woman? the reflection doesn’t answer back. then again, they’re all just a bunch of hypocrites.

the bath seemed to freshen up your perspective, until you see that there’s only two pieces of sanitary napkin left on your drawer. make a mental note to stop by the convenience store to buy a pack, you said. it’s not much of an expense, but taking into consideration all the money you’ve spent for buying those sanitary napkins the moment you first bled until your menopause, that sums up to a lot. the government should follow scotland’s initiative of giving free period products to women, but hey what about the pink tax that contributes to their illicit profits? you scoff at the thought as you put on your underwear.

maybe i should switch to tampon? the thought enters your mind and maybe it is time to consider that. it’s funny, though. corporations would lecture us for minimizing our carbon footprints when they are bigger culprits than we are. oh well, that’s a complaint for another time.

the weather was scorching hot, so you opted for a light wear. the combination is as follows: shorts dark enough to mask possible leakages, a cropped top that boosted your confidence when you tried it on the cramped fitting room, and white sneakers that unfailingly match any outfit. if you were staying at home right now, your parents would definitely ridicule you for wearing that “slutty” outfit. good thing you’re staying on a dormitory, otherwise you’d hear your mom’s endless lectures on how the outside is brimming with lustful and dangerous men.

she wasn’t wrong, though.

as you were on your way to the jeepney terminal, men along the streets feasted on the sight of your legs. to shorten the agony, you quickened your pace and eventually turned it into a sprint. it was an exercise grounded on the wrong motivation, but at least you caught the jeep before it got full.

that ride wasn’t a safe haven, you realize.

it was the same thing again. oh what you would do to avoid their frightening gaze. i should’ve brought a shawl, or a jacket you said to yourself. but come on, it’s not sensible to bring those items on a weather like this. what do you expect, though? being a woman comes a seemingly infinite number of precautionary measures.

at last, you arrived on time for your class. your friend would gossip about her new crush and both of you would look at his pictures. he’s kind of cute. oh, when would you have a crush, you thought. good thing the prof arrived before you dwell on that pointless musing. it would be nice to see a charming face, though.

the day was going well so far, ignoring the occasional strikes of pain from your cramps. when classes are finally over, you join your friends who seem to be engrossed in a secret conversation. you ask them what was going on and the news terrified you. you’ve heard this sort of thing before, but it’s different when it occurs to someone you truly care about.

apparently, one of your friends has been harassed. she was keeping it for months and finally decided to speak up about it. he physically assaulted her and took advantage of her drunkenness. what’s even worse was that it was done by someone within the campus. the place that was supposed to hone safety for its stakeholders no longer felt like a safe zone. honestly, when will it ever get better?

you’re all curious about the sanction, but realistically speaking, will justice even be served? sooner or later, everyone will forget about this. he might be suspended, sure, but when he comes back, there’s no guarantee that things will magically turn alright. some would probably even dismiss what he’d done for flirting. girls are so overreacting they would say. it’s scary to think that things and comments like that are normal when they are so, so far from that.

heard about what happened. is there anything i can do? you text your friend. she replies that she’s okay and that she needs some time alone. understandable. you would do the same thing too if you were on her shoes.

to take your mind off that heart-crushing news, you decide to watch an episode of a popular sitcom, only to find a main character being “funny” for his countless sexist jokes and borderline creepy attempts to sleep with women. what a shallow take on personality.

you’re done for the day, what with your classes, your social interactions, that news, and your period being fully functional energy drainers. you take a quick dinner and go back to your dorm. once again, you ran as fast as you could the moment you got off the jeep. your mom would be happy to know that you got back to your dormitory on time, because it’s at nighttime when men outside get even worse. what a nightmare being the one to adjust for their indecency as persons.

just when you’re ready to change into comfortable clothes and study your lessons for tomorrow’s classes, you realize two things. you need to wash your stained underwear and bed sheet. plus, you forgot stopping by the convenience store. oh dear, so much for being a woman! 

-------

happy women’s history month to my fellow women out there! i can’t fathom the strength we hold, but it’s incredible to hold such power isn’t it? too bad we had to endure so many unnecessary things because of this society. i’ve wanted to write an entry on being a woman and inject some of my thoughts on it so i hope this does justice even though it seems like a full rant on having period. anw, let’s smash the patriarchy, one day at a time!

[frightgothcar]

HEY! Hey, you, reading this!!! I fuckin love writing but what I need to be able to write is a little thing called approval!! If you like this please comment and/or reblog!!!!!!!!!!

Area 51 au thingy. Danny/Wes. Songfic? Not really but the whole idea came from this song. V is based off of @its-towarzysz (main)/ @we-all-horny-here (sanders sides sideblog)/ @cockworktower (dp side blog) you should check them out, they make hella good content. Thanks to all my friends who helped me with motivation/proofreading. Tw for Death, Blood, Guns, and Violence. (Tell me if I forgot anything). I love this pairing and the lack of content sparks deep anger in my soul!! :)) Thanks for reading, enjoy!!

EDIT: Posting this on ao3 also @/godcannotdefeatfanfic 

September 20th, 10:30 am

Area 51

Wes Weston had nothing to live for. Ever since his Mom had gone out for cigarettes on his 6th birthday and never come back his life had been a constant downward spiral. Maybe that was why he was in the middle of the Nevada desert, preparing to attempt to rush a highly armed government facility with a million other suicidal Millenials.  

He fanned his face with his hand. It was over 86 degrees and he was practically melting in his Casper High spirit T-Shirt and blue jeans. He contemplated getting into his pickup truck and blasting the a/c but considering he only had a quarter tank of gas left, and it was a good 20 miles to the nearest gas station, he decided against it. Instead, he got onto his phone and texted his friends for the third time that morning. 

Basketball-Boi: where r yall? its hot.

Phurry: we’re just driving in!! Do u see us?

Basketball-Boi: uhhh whats ur car look like

Phurry: the silver one

Basketball: V there are like a million silver ones what kind of car

Phurry: uhh Val says its called a subaru we’re right by a black car

Red_Huntress: They’re standing on the roof and waving. Can you see us now?

Wes looked up from his phone to see a person, about his age, standing on the roof of a silver Subaru, wearing a black band t-shirt and neon green booty shorts. Their long blond ponytail swished around their face as they jumped up and down excitedly. A girl stepped out of the car and began scolding her friend. She was wearing a matching red pair of shorts, there was black lettering on her backside that he couldn’t quite make out. He began waving back, which only excited the blond more. They lept over the brown-skinned girl and bolted towards Wes.

“Ready to fuck some aliens, Basketball-Boi?” They pulled him into a tight embrace.

“I was born ready!” He laughed, “How are you, V?”

“Pretty gay, thanks for asking.”

Wes opened his mouth to speak but V cut him off with an excited shout.

“Oh! That reminds me!” They slipped their arms out of their backpack straps and dug through the mint green bag for a minute before pulling a pair of hot pink shorts, “I wanted us all to match! Made ‘em myself!”

They flipped the shorts around to reveal ‘100% Nasty’ embroidered onto the ass in black. They then turned around to show off their own message, that read ‘Trash Man’.

“I made one for Val too, c’mon, we have to wear them!!”

Wes grabbed the shorts and held them to his hips. “Is this what you needed my measurements for?”

They nodded enthusiastically, “I was gonna make us team jackets, but that’s so cliche.”

“Huh, I mean, don’t get me wrong, these are… great, but are you sure pink is my color?”

V rolled their eyes, “Of course I’m sure, Wes! Just put them on, you’ll see.”

Wes sighed and walked behind his red truck for some privacy, not that there was much of that, the field was crowded with cars. He pulled down his blue jeans, thankful for the breeze on his legs, and pulled on the shorts. They were a perfect fit, clinging to his waist, and resting on his barely existent hips. The feeling of showing so much skin was odd to him, he’d never worn anything that short in public, but the look on V’s face made it all worth it to him. They didn’t laugh like he’d been expecting them to, instead clapping their hands and going on about how relieved they were that the shorts actually fit. He did a quick turn for them, and they nodded in satisfaction.

“I think it’s about time we caught up to Val, did y’all remember to bring soda?”

“Only the finest Mountain Dew the 7/11 could provide, M’lady,” V grinned. 

“Than shall we be going, M’lord?” Wes held out his arm.

“Indubitably.” V linked their arm through his and they wandered through the crowd, searching for Valerie’s silver Subaru. 

“Wes! V! Over here!” Val called, waving the hand that wasn’t holding a Mountain Dew at her friends. The two of them waved back and jogged toward her. 

“Hey Val, long time no see,” Wes grinned as he pulled her into a hug.

“I missed ya, Weston,” Val reached up to ruffle his hair, but Wes dodged, pulling her into a headlock instead. 

“Missed ya too, Grey,” He gave her a noogie and released her, leaving her free to jump onto him and boost herself high enough to get revenge.

“Aww, adorable! Old lovebirds rekindling an old flame?” V fluttered their eyelashes at their friends, who immediately recoiled.

“Ew, no! Wes? If I had to pick a guy, maybe. And that’s a hard maybe. I’m too gay for this.” Valerie picked up her can from the hood of her car and took a swig.

“Yeah! She’s like my little sister!”

“Hey, I’m older than you!”

“By like two weeks!”

V broke into laughter, “Cool it lovebirds, I’m only joking.”

Val and Wes rolled their eyes at V, who was now on the ground, rolling with laughter. 

“Permission to pour some soda out onto our hilarious friend’s head?” Val asked teasingly.

“Permission granted! Fire at will!” Wes saluted. Val tipped her can enough to sprinkle V with the sticky green drink. They got to their feet, still laughing, and lunged for Val’s can. They knocked it backward, spilling soda all over Val’s shirt.

“EEK,” She squealed, “You’ll pay for this, Trash Man, If it’s the last thing I do!” 

She tried to push the can towards V, but they still had a grip on her arm. They tugged the can back and forth for a few seconds before it crumpled under the pressure.

“Shit!” Val swore, letting go of the can and cradling her palm. “I think I cut myself.”

V dropped the can, game of tag forgotten, and crowded next to their friend. Wes joined their huddle. 

“I think I have a first aid kit in my truck. How bad is it?” He asked.

Val opened her hand to reveal a small, but deep wound on the side of her palm.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault, if I hadn’t-” V began.

“Naw, it was as much my fault as yours. Anyway, we were having fun, and it’s really just a scratch. Keep focused on those Aliens, Private!” Val reassured them.

“Aye aye, Captain!”

Wes walked back to his truck, ignoring the stares of passerby. He grabbed his first aid kid (thank god for boy scouts) and walked back to Val’s car.

“So,” Wes ripped open a disinfecting wipe with his teeth and got to work cleaning her hand of blood. “How’s your dad?”

“He’s doing-” She drew in a sharp breath as he dabbed along the wound with a clean wipe. “Fine. The new job’s working out great, he’s happier than I’ve seen him in a while.”

Wes nodded and began wrapping her hand in gauze, “I’m glad. He wasn’t himself when you left.”

“It really all did work out for the better, didn’t it,” V smiled and handed Wes a length of medical tape. “Oh! I forgot! Val, show Wes what your ass says!”

She groaned, “Do I have to?”

V scowled, “Of course you have to, it was your idea!”

“I was just joking!”

“Tsk tsk, I think you’ve known me long enough to know that when it comes to cursed content, there are no jokes.”

“C’mon Val, it can’t be worse than ‘100% Nasty’,” Wes smirked.

V gasped dramatically and feigned offense, “You’ve wounded me! I work so hard, and for what, ungrateful friends?”

“Fine, if it’ll make you happy I’ll show him my ass. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She winked at him before turning to show her backside. Black embroidery spelled out ‘Booty Hunter’.

Wes burst out laughing, which quickly turned to hysteric noises only vaguely resembling laughter, squeals, and snorts with shrieking giggles between them. V and Val couldn’t help but join in. The second one of them stopped laughing someone would whisper Booty Hunter and it’d start all over again. 

“Okay, okay,” Wes gulped in air, “We- hic -should calm down now.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Val wiped a tear from her eye, “I am the Queen of Calm.”

V got to their feet and dusted themself off. “Totally calm. Calmer than a… something calm.”

“When does the raid start?” Wes pulled out his phone and checked the time. 12:00.

“Around, 12:30ish, we have time.” V waved their hand.

“I dunno, it’s already 12, maybe we should start getting ready.”

“What do you mean it’s already-” V snatched the phone from his hand, “Huh. Time sure flies when you’re having fun.”

“Wait, get ready for what exactly? I mean, we’re here, we’ve got our shorts on, there’s enough Mountain Dew in my car to drown an elephant, what else is there to get ready?” Val questioned.

“Uhhh, I dunno, stretch?” Wes shrugged, “It just feels like we’re forgetting something. What exactly is the plan for this whole thing anyway? Are there gonna be waves? Do we all go at once? This is a pretty poorly organized event.”

Val shrugged, clearly unphased by the lack of organization, “We’ll just go when everyone else starts running. I’m sure the start of gunfire will tell us when.”

“Look, if it’s making you so worried, we can stretch before. I’m sure everything will be fine. Plus, we all get alien Girlfriends, so it’s a win-win!” V put their hand on his arm. Wes smiled thankfully down at them.

“Yeah, that’s probably it. Yall must think I’m being a nitpick-”

“Not at all! You’re probably right, after all, it must be at least a mile to the base from here, and we can’t let cramps keep us from sweet sweet alien romance.” Val propped her leg up on the hood of her car and pressed her head to her knee, “Plus that’ll give us an advantage over the Kyles.”

V nodded and fell into a lunge, “We’ve been training since July for this, can’t let it get away now because we forgot to stretch.”

Wes bent over and touched his toes, “Thanks y’all, you’re really the best friends I could ask for.” 

The screech of a megaphone rang out through the valley. A voice came through the static, “Raiders! Get into position, we’re storming the gates in exactly fifteen minutes!” 

A cheer broke through the crowd as people began chugging what was left of their sodas and migrating towards the front lines. 

“Well, this is it I guess. If I don’t make it out of the raid, put this on my tombstone.” Wes gestured downward, where he was holding his hand in a circle. 

“Dammit!” Valerie chuckled as Wes gave her a playful punch in the arm. 

“You’ll never take me alive!” V shouted and sprinted forwards as Wes moved towards them.

“On your marks!”

“Wanna bet on that?” Wes shouted back, weaving through the crowd to catch up with them.

“Get set!”

V pushed forward, using their small frame to their advantage, easily losing the taller one in the crowd.

“Raid!”

The mob roared, then began thundering forward, but the deafening sounds of the people were nothing compared to what followed. Thousands of guns began firing at once, hitting everyone and everything in the vicinity. Wes watched with horror as the first wave of people were mowed down right before his eyes. A flash of neon green caught his eye through the carnage. He ran towards his friend, who was standing, paralyzed, next to a few other survivors. He shouted their name, and just as they turned their head another hailstorm of bullets rained down. The first one embedded itself right into V’s chest, right above their heart. Wes sprinted to catch his injured companion, but by the time he got there the life was already draining from their eyes.

“V! V, can you hear me? Don’t go into the light, hold on, ok? You’ve got this, V, answer me!”

He pressed his head to their chest, a weak heartbeat answered him. “It’s gonna be okay. Shhh, you’re okay.” 

Something wet dripped down his face, and he realized he was crying.

“...Wes,” V rasped out, then began violently coughing up blood. Little flecks of red peppered Wes’ face like freckles. “Fuck an alien for me, okay? Can you promise me that?”

Their body went limp in his arms. 

“V? V! V, wake up, please, that can’t be it, please V, you’re only 17, please!” He shook their corpse, but to no avail. V was gone. He closed his eyes and let out a shuttering breath before standing up, still clutching their body in his arms. 

“Second wave! On your marks!” The megaphone blared to life.

The crowd let out another, less confident cheer. After seeing all the carnage most of the raiders were less enthusiastic to ‘see them aliens’. But this time Wes had made up his mind. He was going to make it into that Government facility, and he was gonna burn that motherfucker to the ground.

“Get set!”

He laid his friend on the ground and pressed a kiss to their forehead. If it wasn’t for the massive amount of blood they could’ve been sleeping.

“Go!”

Wes screamed with all the anger he had in him and charged forward. Bullets rained down near him, but this time there were less of them. This time he had a chance. He saw the gate coming closer. He was only 50 feet away, he could make it! He hopped over the fence, ignoring the blaring of sirens, and kept running. He pushed his way into the building, where, surprisingly, there was no security. It looked like they had invested all their soldiers into protecting the outside of the base. His adrenaline rush began to slow down. He dragged his feet down the linoleum hallway, looking at his bloodsoaked hands. 

“What the fuck just happened?” He whispered to himself, still shellshocked. A flicker of light caught his eye. Grateful for a distraction, he turned his attention to what looked like a futuristic control panel. The buttons were labeled in some sort of code, their luminescent surfaces grinning up at him.

“Looking for me, Short-Shorts?” A calm voice echoed through the hall. Wes whipped around, ready for a fight.

“Why so on edge, Ginger? Surely I’m not that intimidating.” It purred.

“Who are you?!” Wes shouted. He winced at the echo. Did he really sound that unhinged?

“On your left.” 

He turned and found himself face to face with the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. He looked about his age, maybe 17. His skin was tan, but had a slight blueish tint, as if he’d been without oxygen for a while. Poking from his tuft of pearly white hair was a pair of blur antenna. He had a small build, maybe 5 feet tall at best, but was floating at eye level with Wes. Speaking of his eyes, they were quite possibly the most gorgeous thing about him. He had eyes greener and glowyer (is that even a word? Either way it was true.) than toxic waste, his pupils were like a cat’s, slit down the middle. He was clothed in a baggy black prison jumpsuit. He looked almost alien. Wes realized with a start that he must be an alien. 

“Are you done staring?” The boy asked, snapping Wes out of his trance. “It won’t be long before the guards realize you’re in here, and I’d rather get out without a bullet hole.”

“I- I don’t- what are you?” Wes stammered.

“I’m Project Phantom, or Danny if you prefer. What’s your name?”

“I’m… Wes?”

[five-wow]

Hi, I'm a fellow writer in the fandom and I admire your work. I wanted to ask, as a popular writer, do you get fixated sometimes on the number of kudos/comments/hits etc that your new work gets, and does this impact your motivation/inspiration? I think comparison is the thief of joy, and I really want to get over this feeling when I post my own work, so was wondering if even popular and regular writers such as yourself feel like this to, and if , what's your secret? Thanks!

Hi! 1) You are so sweet, ahh, and 2) YES, I DO. Gosh, yes, I absolutely do get insecure about those kinds of things, and I think that anyone who says they don't ever feel that way is either lying (to themselves, possibly) or maybe just pure magic, like some cross between a writer and a unicorn.

I love ao3 and I love all of its metrics and I love numbers and statistics, but there’s definitely that shadow side where having all of that easily available makes it deceptively easy to compare your own work to other people’s. I do it all the time! It honestly makes it a little hard for me at times to read h50 fic and fully enjoy it, because I keep... looking at it and wondering how my own stacks up against it, unwillingly. That's not a relaxing experience, and sometimes not even a very fun one. (Another part of it is that I just write SO MUCH for h50 and there is SO MUCH I still want to write, and I don’t want to risk reading something that’s very close to an idea I had and then never being quite sure if what I write after that was influenced by the other person’s work or if it’s really still my idea, because I have this (pretty irrational) fear of accidentally stealing someone else’s work even though one of the really great things about fandom is that it’s a very collaborative process as a whole and being inspired by other people’s stuff is usually totally okay, buuuut that’s a different rambly story.)

And I definitely do also get... some cringey feelings, hardcore, around fics I posted that don't do very well numbers-wise. Sometimes it's expected - fic that doesn't follow traditional formats or doesn't feature Steve/Danny, for example, is always something where I KNOW it won't get as much attention because I know how fandom works and that lessens the sting because it doesn't HAVE to hold up to those other fics that perform way better, because I already know it's not really comparable. The truth is, of course, that most fic is not really comparable to other fic, but it’s easy to fall into that trap anyway. If I post something that seems like my average kind of work and it gets less kudos or comments than usual, I do start to doubt the fic and second-guess myself - is something about this weird? Is it too [insert quality x]? Is it bad? Did I unknowingly do something terrible and people are now avoiding me? The answer to all of those is probably no, and going through it a bunch of times has definitely helped, because what usually happens is that I end up somewhat avoiding the fic in question because it makes me a little ashamed and awkward to think about it (a relative failure! oh no! I'm human!) and then, eventually, I return and reread the fic. By that point I have enough distance from it in time that I can look at it a lot more objectively, and it's way easier to see what works and what does not than when I posted it and I had just read it a dozen times in twenty-four hours and the words were burned into my brain. And upon that reread, inevitably, I realize that, holy shit, it was NOT AS BAD as I had made it out to be in my mind! It’s actually kind of fun! Imagine the ego boost of realizing your most cringy recent work is actually pretty okay, haha, and it's silly, but it's a revelation every time. The quality of a fic is not dictated by how many people read it or comment on it or like it, and intellectually I absolutely know that, but it’s hard to remember when it’s about yourself and you’re still in that emotionally vulnerable place of having just shared your work with the world and it feels like the world is not as into it as you thought (or hoped) it’d be. It’s honestly very, very reassuring to have those experiences to fall back on, but sadly the only way I know to get there is to just tough it out and feel super awkward for a while.

When I’m writing, on the other hand, I usually don’t really think about what other people might think of it. I have the advantage that (pretty much) all of my work consists of fairly short stand alone stories, which means I don’t have to struggle with keeping my motivation up for a second chapter of something but I get to start fresh every time, and that’s nice, because I can just lose myself in the joy of throwing words around and making characters do things that make me giggle. That’s not to say I never think of the outside world while writing - I realized, pretty recently, that I occasionally end up constructing paragraphs or pieces of dialogue a certain way mostly so it will make for a good excerpt to put in the eventual fic description, which might give me a sense of accomplishment because it’s nice when things work out and look good, but in all fairness it’s probably far more motivated by attempts to package the finished work attractively so other people will want to click on it than by anything else. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. I don’t think so - I don’t feel like it lessens my work and it doesn’t interrupt my enjoyment of it in the moment, which are the key elements for me - but other people might disagree.

But the heart of thing is, just, there are SO MANY factors that influence a fic’s numbers, and not all of them are visible (I’d argue most of them aren’t, in fact), and it always helps me to keep that in mind. It puts things in perspective somewhat and softens the harshness of a black and white kudo count judgment. Numbers can depend on when you post a fic (what day of the week, time of the year, time relative to big fandom moments, whether you’re in the middle of a global pandemic or not), how you pick your title, what you put in the description, how you use the tags, what genres or tropes are popular in your specific fandom, the genre of your fic in general (pwp as a rule tends to get lots of hits and few kudos or comments, for example, making it totally unfair to compare it to G-reated fluff fic with super different ratios), how much you’ve posted before (because if someone likes one of your works, they’re often likely to check if you have more in the same fandom), how many fics other people post around the same time (because yours might be gone from the first page of most recently updated works in a fandom or ship tag very quickly if others push it out), how big your fandom is(!!!) (over two thirds of my works on ao3 are for h50, but h50 only makes it into the top 10 of my most kudo’d works by the skin of its teeth) and definitely also what your fandom’s culture is like (compared to a lot of other fandoms, h50 fans are a-ma-zing when it comes to leaving comments, my gosh, and as a writer I adore all of you), how old your ao3 account is (the longer you’ve been around, the more likely a higher number of people is subscribed to you as an author or has read your previous work or has encountered your name, etc), how long your fic is (under a thousand words in my experience generally does less well than 1-5k, but longer fics might end up with lots of chapters which switches things up because people come back to it when there’s an update, and even if a long work is all in one chapter it will probably stand out for the wordcount and might attract attention that way, etc), whether or not your fic is part of a series (in my experience it will probably get more hits because it’s a chain of fics that leads you to the next one, but the kudos might not go up at the same rate because people might forget a kudo or reread previous works when a new one is added), whether you make a habit of commenting on other people’s fic (I’ve had comments saying MY comment on their work led them to my fic!), if you have social media like Tumblr or Twitter where you can promote your work (it’s advertising, basically), and any of a bunch of random little other factors. Sometimes, I see a sudden little cluster of kudos on an old fic in the daily ao3 kudos email, and I assume someone somewhere maybe recced that fic, but it usually remains a total mystery who or where or even if it happened at all and wasn’t just a weird coincidence to begin with. Sometimes the thing a fic’s popularity depends on is really just whether it clicks with people at that point in time, whatever that means, which is an even more impossible thing to grasp or predict than anything else.

Or you can look at things from a totally different angle and not try to make yourself care less about numbers, but just accept that you do because you’re human and we all crave validation, and instead try to roll with that. A brain hack: when I do start getting down about numbers, it also helps me to focus on one work and just... try to visualise what those kudo (or hit or bookmark or comment) counts mean, if you were to translate them to the real world. While it can be super helpful to remember that there’s a LOT going on that you can’t see and that’s virtually impossible to really explain, it’s also nice to somewhat do the opposite and try to make things as concrete as possible instead. I like measuring in school classes (~25-30 heads, I’d say) and “my fic only has fifty kudos but this other person’s has ten times as many” could easily make anyone sad and demotivated, but “my fic has fifty kudos and that’s TWO WHOLE CLASSROOMS packed full of people that all read my work and liked it so much they wanted to give me a little thumbs up for it” is actually pretty cool and encouraging, I think. Or you could measure in sports teams (I don’t know sports, but soccer has 11 players on the field per team, so as soon as your fic has 33 kudos that’s three teams which means you’ve got yourself a little beginning league! how exciting!) or in DnD campaigns (variable of course, but most of mine have had around four players plus a DM, so if you have twenty kudos? that’s FOUR WHOLE DnD campaigns that enjoyed reading your fic, and it’s fully up to you how many half-orcs that includes). You could apply this method using literally any other measurement that works for you, too. If you have a hard time painting a mental image of numbers, you could even open up a Paint doc or get a piece of paper and start counting out little dots or copy-pasted images of a person, or get a big bag of physically present M&Ms and count them out, or take a good look at your dog and then go around the neighborhood and collect forty-nine more dogs and pile them all into your home and be slightly frightened by the utter delighted fluffy chaos that ensues in your living room. That’s how many people liked your fic! That’s a heck of a lot of wagging tails! Who knew a kudo could bark this loudly!

Disclaimer: maybe keep the dog thing as your very last resort, because your neighbors might not be super into their pet getting dognapped for the purpose of visualizing fanfiction stats. The point is really just to remember that there’s an actual person behind every kudo you get, no matter what the cumulative number is, and even if you have seven or five or three kudos, that’s seven or five or three very real people that hit that button. That’s pretty damn awesome. Also keep in mind how you feel if you read a fic, and take some time to realize that every single person that left you a kudo went through that same process of spending time reading words (the words you wrote!) and experiencing that story and THAT’S why they left that kudo. It’s a real person’s real investment.

This ended up very long and rambly, so tl;dr: You are in no way alone in feeling that way, it's okay and normal and so very very human to feel like that, but you still shouldn't let it get you down, because numbers fake being meaningful very well but are deep down just little squiggles on your screen and they’re more scared of you than you are of them, while at the same time there are real individuals that enjoy your work even if you usually never see them. Your fic is worth posting. That’s the one factor in all of this that’s a constant, not a variable.

(And as a very important sidenote, just be kind to yourself, always. Does it truly stress you out? Are you feeling really bad about it today? Does it make your anxiety spike? Then give yourself room to take a little step back and allow yourself some time away from it. Go watch something you enjoy, or read something nice, or do something else that makes you feel good. Fic is something that should add to your life, not subtract from it. You don’t owe anyone anything, not even yourself in this context, and I used to push myself occasionally to get something finished TODAY, and eventually I started realizing, well, why? Why not instead of reading it over again just get some sleep or watch an episode of something I want to watch, especially if I literally just finished the fic and I feel a little unsure about it and it might actually be beneficial to me and my own feelings about it if I just give it a day or even a week and let it rest and then look at it again and THEN post it, if I want to, whether that’s with some changes beforehand or not? Who set me that deadline that’s apparently looming over me? I did, and it’s fake, and it’s there for absolutely no good reason. Breathe. Put yourself first. Be really really really selfish about your own fic writing experience, even, because it’s supposed to be something you enjoy (that’s what a hobby is!), and the rest is secondary.)

[iankarlo]

WFH - Day 20

OMG!!! I can’t imagine that its already 20 days since I working here at home in Bataan. As of now, I feel like I am super okay here. I don’t go out and we are just ordering food when we crave. I have my brother here to always buy me food. *power hug brother* It was so nice to stay home cause they always consider the food that I wanted to eat in a day, though there are times that I am not talking to them a lot due to my work load and personal issues.

Sometime I still overthink and self pity about Jehan and I. I still can’t believe that he never ever liked me. I don’t know if he just see as his supporter cause no matter what, I always make myself available for him. I always pause everything just to give the comfort that he needs but I never felt the same towards him. He is never caring to me and never been thoughtful to me. Yes, there are times that he does sweet things but those are so rare. I just don’t feel like I have been important to him like I do.

I tried my best not to talk to him or give comments about him cause whenever we started a conversation, my hope gets higher and disappointment comes right after. I always tried my best to look okay, to be strong, to be numb. But deep inside, the pain still pinch me little by little, until it bleeds. The pain still made my heart break into million pieces and whenever that feeling comes back to me like a childhood memory, I cry. I always try to convince myself that I shouldn’t fire up my torch of hope anymore and look back and find a way to get out of this woods. 

Anyway, I was too loaded with my tasks in the office and my boss kept throwing more tasks to do and I can no longer handle it anymore. I am scared of having errors and backcharges cause I can’t afford as the house renovation will pause if ever. I hope that this lost of confidence on me will be gone soon so I can back to my motivated self. I am really getting scared. I wish that I will be okay soon. I was working with Dade again to clear off his jobs, I will be working with him until tomorrow. Hopefully, I will not overtime as I am still tired and looking for more sleep and self care.

Also, I just wanted to share my journey of using a new skin care product. It’s been a week since I started and I am really happy with the results so far. Maybe I’ll do a blog about it soon. I know I am not as good as other but maybe a little good review can help me to boost or attract readers.

BUT SO FAR I’M HAPPY WITH THE RESULT!!!!

So, good night. I’m excited to have manicure and pedicure or foot spa tomorrow. <3

Love Always,

Iyaaan