#its kinda reached an awkward point where theres no one i feel comfortable

[skyeateyourdonuts]

dangerrrrrr

[boywithpinkcarnation]

tbh kinda wanting some jealous!jb like if someone is filtering w her gf OR ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A ANOTHER GIRL AHH THE DRAMA 🕳️🕳️

alrighty... i am in no way a writer, so this is. going to be bullet point, blurb, word vomit, unedited chaos. additionally, this is gonna be so incredibly self indulgent and catered to me so i hope it suffices for u bug 💝

frankly posting this is very scary for a little tumblr baby like myself, but i feel a need to serve my community 🫡

they style of writing and tbh most headcannons/lore is coming straight from @gingerjolover their blog is lowkey bible and they are the sweetest pookie pie ever. luv u g fr <3 like seriously i recommend you go just read through their masterlist bc this will not compare (not trying to fish here, just being very real as someone who is a like fein for fics as a source of comfort, i fear this will not fully suffice)

rpf content under the cut (no hate if that's not ur jam, just ignore me!), minors dni!!!

refering to jb's parter in this as "gf" and sense i am a selfish selfish girl in this scenerio she is roughly jb's height/a little shorter bc i am and theres no shorter than julien rep ANYWHERE

personally, i see julien as lowkey so possessive in a cutie non toxic way... and sometimes that manifests in some cutie jeleousy that gf can not get enough of. i think it obviously would come out in like flirty enviornments like bars and parties where people are loosey goosey... but sometimes it's just like and about on a normal date. here's a little thought i cooked up for like a more domestic environment jealousy:

aquairum date

the date starts out very normal, classic boyfriend!julien activities are happening

she's making sure y'all are touching at all times. like she'll die if you guys are not physically connected

i'm talking arm around your shoulder, iron grip within intertwined hands, hand in ur jean pocket 16 candles style, hand on the small of your back,,,, but i think eventually (and her favorite, albeit a little awkward) she's hugging you from behind as you walk, almost hanging on you, head perfectly slotted on your shoulder kissing your head and neck at every stop to look at the pretty fish

"jay! look at this one" "real pretty princess" *kisses your head* (its over i can'tttt)

then maybe she leaves you to go get you like a bottle of water or a jacket from the car (idk something to make you more comfortable, very "can't have my baby thirsty/cold" vibes)

then of course, you are looking so cute and so gay, a girl approaches you

you are very focused on the fish bc they are truly just so pretty (can you tell i love fish?) and only look up when mystery girl nudges you

"omg i'm so sorry" "oh uh, you're good" "sorry, i have a bit of a habit for running into pretty girls"

and your're kinda caught off guard bc like... this is an aquarium??

"haha um thank you" "so what are you doing here all alone"

mystery girl is sooo fuck boy coded just go with it

"well um my girlfr-"

julien is back behind you, re koala latching twisting open the water bottle for you and handing it to you, GLARING at this girl

"sorry it took me a second princess, who's this?"

then her grip tightens pulling you even closer to her chest

mystery girl, bless her heart, replies "we just bumped into each other. i was just letting her know how beautiful she was"

oh jb did not like that

she reaches over grabs your jaw tilting your head to the side and back to look at her

"she is beautiful. my sweet girl" and kisses you DEEPLY

and ur blushing because you know jealous/protective/possesive!julien is in the room with us now and kind of giggle out of the kiss

"well then... i should be going, sorry again for running into you"

instead of letting you respond or responding herself jb keeps your face turned and starts kissing all over ur face as you giggle letting mystery girl to just shuffle away.

for the rest of the date she is SO overly affectionate

squeezing ur hips

keeping you so close

kissing your cheek and neck as you tell her about all the fish and animals

"really baby? that's so cool" "my little biologist" "ooo princess what about these?"

it's times like these julien wishes she wore lipstick to leave a mark on your face so everyone knows

she's probably taking you to the gift shop and buying you some random thing for fun because when she's jealous she doesn't take it out on you, she's secure with you and knows you aren't doing anything but being your pretty self

in fact it just makes her softer and more affectionate

when you finally let her drag you out she had you against the car kissing you lovingly and deeply and sets her forehead against yours

"i just love you so much. my sweet girl. my priincess"

"all yours j."

note from c: i hope this is at least semi ok? literally no editing or even proof reading, just love sick delusion.

[malewife-yoomyeongwoo]

Had an idea for an tsctir au where dungeons never happened, but the magic and mana within born s classes still lingers. The fact that theyre different and that people have skill aptitudes that affect their surroundings is still present, but no ones really aware of it (the born s classes Feel it but cant do anything about it)

So HYH is still Like That and HYJ still has the effects of the “caregiver” title, just- kinda watered down?

So the fic idea that i had that takes place in this au would be centered around the fact that HYH still has to deal with the feelings and things he feels in the manhwa/LN with his nature being (spoilers) that of a flame. He still wants to fight and grow stronger; he still wants to consume that which is precious to him (HYJ); he still gets unusually protective and jealous with HYJ.

And, HYH is getting increasingly frustrated cause he wants HYJ all for himself and cant explain why and, while his hyung is confused about it, he mostly indulges his dongsaeng but, because HYJ doesnt really understand what it is HYH needs to be happy, he keeps pushing HYH away and telling him to hit milestones that are relevant for human beings (like getting a spouse or getting a good job)

But all HYH really wants is to just be with HYJ and the conflict is centered around HYH not really understanding why hes Like That and trying to conform for HYJs sake and HYJ just wanting HYH to be happy and live a good life, but failing to really understand HYH enough to be okay with the actions HYH takes in order to live a happy and good life

Of course, the conflict within HYH would only get worse as HYJ continues to meet people and make connections and have less and less time to spend with HYH

And HYH cant help but feel guilty for being how he is cause his hyung is happy! Hes finally getting to live his life now that HYH can help with the finances! But HYH has to fight the urge to sabotage everything in order to have his hyung focus on him again cause he still wants his hyung to be happy

So hes simmering in frustration and self loathing and, because its hard for him to continuously keep getting brushed off by his hyung, he starts limiting contact because he Cant Take the small and fleeting interactions he has without feeling a sense of deep yearning for the way things used to be (just the two of them)

Maybe it reaches a boiling point for HYH when its his birthday or something?? And HYJ has a bunch of people over to celebrate with him and hed brought over a girl that he thought HYH would be interested in (and the icing on the cake is how everyones being touchy and HYHs already in a bad mood but now it’s worse) and all HYH had wanted for his birthday was for it to be just him and his hyung spending time together and now theres all these people and he, of course, acts cold and petulant and HYJ is like dude wth and HYH cant explain himself in a way that makes sense so he just storms out and leaves HYJ dealing with an awkward atmosphere but HYJ ultimately asks everyone to go and apologizes to them so that he can hang out with HYH and see whats going on

And thats where theyd start to re-assess their dynamic and try to understand each other better so they can co exist in a healthier way. HYJ would learn that HYH doesnt want a relationship or to be great or anything like that, he just wants to live comfortably with his hyung. And HYH would learn that he doesnt need to repress his nature and conform for HYJs sake cause what HYJ wanted all along was for HYH to be happy (and if that means theres a lot more hugs and quiet leisure time spent between the two just enjoying each other’s presence then so be it)

HYJ gets to go out and be the extroverted single dad he is and HYH gets to be the kid who gets doted on extra from HYJ

I imagine that HYH would be in college during this time and would probably be a doing some kind of fighting related martial art (taking out his frustration on his opponents a little too much during tournaments or something); hes gotta be at least a little violent and intimidating to be around cause its HYH; he may have been an angel around HYJ growing up but i like to think that he was the worst to deal with for any other person who had to deal with being in a position of authority over him; the most petulant child ever; never did enough to warrant his hyung getting notified (and if he did he was too intimidating to actually do anything against)

[musubiki]

wait, can we please talk about Taffy CATBELLE!! I'm a big sucker for found family!!!!! 😭 thoughts on found family Mochi and Taffy??? 🥺💖

AAA YES YES I LOVE TAFFY BEING SORT OF LIKE HER BIG BROTHER AFTER HE GETS COMFORTABLE WITH HER !!!!!!!!

after she finally kicks his ass and rips the curse out of his lungs so he can breath again, that pretty much eliminates any conflict between them. and obviously he cant go back to amanita since shes the one who CURSED HIM, so mochi puts him up in the storage room above their storage house (think kikis delivery service kinda room)

and my fav taffy character moment is just this transition hes forced to do when mochi makes him stay there so she can keep an eye on him (make sure his curse doesnt relapse or something). hes been on his own for so long just essentially being homeless and sleeping in abandoned cars and now he has to get used to a warm bed and warm environment. theres a scene where mochi brings him to his room, gives him the whole rundown of "bathroom is over there, towels in the closet, we washed the sheets you just gotta make the bed, leave that bucket there cuz theres a leak we havent fixed yet, etc" and at the end of it she goes "oh yeah and dinner is at 7 so dont be late or ill kill you (joking)"

and when she leaves hes just standing there in a quiet, warm empty room holding some sheets and blankets and all he has with him is a duffle bag worth of belongings. and he has that sort of sickening uncertain feeling of being thrown into an uncomfortable situation. pom stays with him to keep an eye on him.

and when he comes down and its dusk already, and as hes reaching for the handle on the glass door to the main house, he can hear mochi, lime, oscar, and coco inside being rowdy and laughing and bullying each other, just a comforting family environment in there. and his hand just slowly moves away from the handle, and all he can think is 'i dont belong here. i dont belong here. i dont belong here.'

and then coco slams the door open and is like "HEY loser whatchya standing out here being a weirdo for" and drags him inside with the rest of them.

also did i mention ex-villian taffy is very awkward and is often pretty quiet. asks mochi if she needs help and then accidentally drops the glass plates while carrying them to the table LOL

after a while mochi and mama catbelle force him to work in the cafe since hes staying there and he becomes the classic Tired Cafe Worker(tm)

and at some point, mochi and mama misu buy him a truck. given its a worn down, used and old truck, but its one he can call his own, instead of breaking into/hijacking other peoples cars, and he gets a little emotional. the first thing he does with it is take mochi for a ride

im not saying mama misu throws adoption papers at him but the feeling is the same. i love what he has with them 😭😭😭

[tobioslune]

liquid courage

Paring: Iwaizumi Hajime x gn!reader

Genre : fluff, comfort? college au kinda, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, Iwaizumi being soft and a simp

Warnings? : implied drinking, (aged up), cursing (from the lyrics), a little smooch 

a/n: This is a draft i started in january but things happened that made me leave it for about like four months lol (if u wanna know what happened while i was writing this you can read it here lol also you could see how i wrote / continued writing it here ) but! im finally finished and im pretty proud of it even though its lowkey all over the place :>> please do check out the song bc it slaps and it’s really good lol okay that’s all for now hope you enjoy <3 (last notee: likes and reblogs are really appreciated!!)

▶ now playing : drunk - dijon 

You and Iwaizumi have been close friends since highschool, and feelings may have been caught during that time. With the reason of not wanting to ruin the relationship you’ve built with him, you tried to brush it off. And like every other trope where you fall for your best friend you expected that he wouldn’t feel the same way.

Surprisingly both of you ended up going to the same university, and you were able to hang out and keep in touch with each other. Everytime you think you’ve set those feelings aside, whenever some romantic tension presents itself, it bubbles up inside all over again. Like an annoying weed that keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to get rid of it. 

School and other work has been pressing on you for the past few months and you just keep getting into a slump. No matter how hard you try, you find yourself in the same place you were over and over again. Iwaizumi noticed this and really tried his best to help but he’s also caught up with a ton of things. 

O baby, I’m lonely and I’m fucked up by myself

 Could uu come here?!  

It was 1am on a Saturday and Mattsun called you. You were working on an essay and it was super unexpected. It was able to shake you from the somewhat trance you were in while trying to think.

“Hey y/n-san I’m so sorry to call you at such a late time and most probably not so nice notice, but is it okay if you pick-up Hajime here at our usual place? Hanamaki and the others have already left and theres a paper I need to take care of, and you’re the only one I could think of.”

“Oh, it’s okay. Did Hajime drink too much like last time?” You think to yourself, ‘How stubborn, I’ve told him last time to be mindful of how much he takes because of his low tolerance’  You found the thought quite amusing.

“He sure has. When will you be able to get here by the way?” Mattsun replies.

“Give me about 15 minutes, it’s not so far from where I live anyways. Can you keep him company for a little while longer?” you tell him. This would be able to get your mind off the stress and exhaustion you’re in hopefully for a little while. Besides you haven’t met him in person for about month so it would be nice to see him again.

“Yeahh I can do that. Thanks again by the way y/n.”

“Suree, anytime. Okay see you in a bit, bye”

“Bye.”

The train stations are already closed at this time, and it would be too much of a hassle to take a cab to and from where he lives so it probably would be best that he crash at your place instead.

You straighten a few things up in your apartment and proceed to grab a jacket, your keys, wallet and your phone, placing it into a small purse. As you closed the door you could already feel a rush of cold air surrounding you.

The walk there was quite refreshing and you felt much better than you did earlier. As you arrived there you could see Mattsun waiting in front. You smiled as you walked toward him. It took him a couple seconds to recognize you as you came into view. 

“Heyy, hope I didn’t take too long” you said as you greeted him with a hug. 

“No, it’s all good you actually arrived faster than I expected”, Mattsun replies returning your smile. 

“He’s inside by the way.” gesturing with the back of his thumb.

“Okay, I’ll go take care of it from here” 

“Thanks again, apologies if it interrupted anything important.” 

“Like I said, it's alright! I got it.” you assure him.

You both bid your goodbyes and you make your way inside the homey bar. There he was, head resting on his right hand and glass of water in the other. You figured he sobered up at least a little bit. 

You let out an amused sigh, “Oh Haj, I’ve told you a couple of times last time to watch it, right?” You took a seat in front of him, leaning your head on your hand. He laughed a little at the statement made. “Sorry y/n, got a bit caught up and forgot.” 

Letting out a low hum you respond, “Anyways, ready to go?” 

“Yeah just give me a moment.” His head was still pounding from the drinks.

I’M WASTING and I’m anxious; I’m fading from myself… 

You placed his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep him upright and stable as you walk. Compared to him he was obviously heavier making it difficult for you to even make it to the door, you were basically stumbling out, but somehow you were able to manage and he was at least trying to cooperate even when everything was practically hazy for him in that moment.

---------- 

You fell for him, and little did you know he did too. You’ve known Hajime as reserved, reliable, firm, caring and surprisingly stubborn at times. He knew that if he told his friends and teammates they would tease him and make it more obvious that's why he kept it in a never said a word. 

He liked you, he liked you so much, but sometimes you just seemed so out of reach to him. Loved by almost everyone, you were beautiful, charming and just overall amazing to him. There were times where he really tried to deny his feelings, his emotions, toward you but whenever another guy would be around you he just can’t help but want you all to himself.

--------

As school progressed your schedule became more hectic and your assignments started to pile up. It felt like an endless mess and an inevitable disaster. He saw how stressed you were but he felt a bit helpless because he didn't know what to do. He couldn’t really help you because of your different courses and besides he wouldn’t even know what to do. As time went on your hangouts became lesser and lesser and sometimes you'd even be too busy or even too tired to chat with him. You would try making plans but your group mates would suddenly set up meetings or deadlines would abruptly be sent and given. 

Although he has tried reaching out, because of how busy you were he was left alone with his thoughts and feelings and he tried to make sense of how he really felt. He wanted to avoid thinking of you but that became difficult for him when almost everything reminded him of you…

“They would have liked this..”, “I should probably ask if they ate.”,  “This would be such a nice gift for y/n.”,  “I wonder what they would think of this.”, it just felt like never ending thoughts of you.

---------

When Matsukawa and the rest of the old team from Seijoh offered him to hang out and catch up he couldn't say no. By going he would be able to hang out with them and it would hopefully be a distraction to help get you off his mind. He knew you were busy and in his head he thought that maybe you didn't like him the say he does. You ran circles around his mind and at time he’s just feel so conflicted and confused.

In the end he got wasted, he felt faded, and just wanted to feel ok. He accidentally ended up telling the boys out of frustration that he had feelings for someone which left him with mixed emotions at times. They found this quite surprising because who would get him so hung up and drunk like that.

COULD U COME HERE?! And say u’ll stay the night 

Although you reminded him last time you went drinking to watch his intake you were still shocked that he was so drunk he could barely think straight. The cold air and silence filled the walk and everything in some way felt alright. You felt at peace and his presence made everything feel comfortable even if you were practically carrying him.

He sighs, “Hey I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess I accidentally let myself go back there again.” 

“It's ok, I mean that's bound to happen to everyone at some point I've got you  don't worry it's fine.” you respond.

“Where are we going, by the way?” He asks.

“I'm taking you back to my place, I mean if you don't mind. The subways are closed and the taxis are hard to come by at this time.” 

“Oh ok, it's fine, I mean I have nowhere else to go to anyways and I don't really mind,”  He says with a flustered laugh.

As you keep walking you pass by a convenience store you both frequently used to hang out at when your schedules weren't so busy.

“Hey Haj, we should stop there for a while just so you could sober up a little more. Also I’m a bit hungry anyway,”  you suggest.

“Yeah good idea, besides you must be kind of tired trying to carry me around for this long.”

You both make your way to the convenience store and you tell him to sit outside while you buy something for the both of you.

 Cause it’s been a while, since I've seen u smiling! O baby, could u come down? I think I’m freaking out! And I’m drunk! 

You step inside and the warmth of the shop embraces you. You then proceed to get some meat buns, and two coffees. As you go to pay you take a glimpse outside to check up on Iwaizumi and to your surprise he was already looking at you. You quickly turn away and you feel a small blush attempting to creep up on your face, but you shake the thought away as you make it to the counter.

You finish paying and walk over to where Iwaizumi is sitting and you place the food down on the table. Handing over a meat bun and a coffee to him, you sit down and sigh in satisfaction as you bite into yours. Somewhat comfortable silence fills the space and you absentmindedly process everything that happened.

“So, how was the hang out with the guys? I haven't seen them in so long. You sure must’ve had fun...” You say in the hopes of making things a little less awkward and quiet.

“Oh yeah it was great.” He replies with his mouth still with food, you laugh and he continues after he finally swallows what he was eating.

“Yeah it was really fun, we got to catch up on a lot and they're doing pretty great I must say. You should come next time, I mean when you're not busy. I miss our hangouts, you know...” 

“Is this not a hangout?” You humorously ask.

“I mean, it is but I'm saying we should hang out more when you're not busy and when I'm not drunk.”  He says with a laugh.

“Yeah we totally should.“ You say with a smile.

“So anyways, how's life?” 

“Well I mean I'm doing ok, but overall just really stressed. Work and papers have been piling up and my head has been pounding for like weeks or maybe even just days you know, but I guess I'm doing fine.” Giving a small laugh to lighten the statement.

“Yeah the workloads really suck right now, they're crazy. But I'm here for you if you need anything even if I don’t really understand a thing from your subjects.”

“Yeah, I know.” You say giving him a reassuring grin.

You both take a brief pause when he suddenly brings up an old inside joke you both had when you were younger. You spend about an hour reliving memories, throwing around jokes, teasing each other and laughing a lot.

Sighing into a smile he says, “I really miss this. It's been a while since I've seen you smile like that.” 

“Yeah I missed our hangouts like these, this feels so great and nostalgic in a way.”

And I don’t think I can beat it, I’m paralyzed, I’m terrified of being alone!

You both clean up and start to continue your walk back to your place. All the stress you’ve been feeling earlier feels as if it has left and you feel relieved. As you both near your apartment complex, Iwaizumi stops making you turn back.

“Hey, you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah I’m good.” You then proceed to turn around, but he suddenly continues.

“Listen I need to tell you something, and I need you to promise me that we’re still going to be ok even as friends afterwards.” He says with a slight seriousness on his face

“Yeah, you can tell me anything I promise I'll still stay. I mean unless you're a criminal and you're gonna kill me.” You joke. Moving closer to him you prepare yourself a bit for whatever he would say.  “So what's up?”

He takes a breath, “I like you y/n -san.... and I'm really sorry if you don’t like me after this or if this makes anything awkward or if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I've liked you since high school and I was too scared to say anything because I thought you liked another guy--”

“--I swear even when we were younger there was something about you that just made everyone like you. You were so nice, friendly to everyone, helpful, beautiful, and so much more. You’re captivating to me… and I’m trying to use whatever’s left of this liquid courage to get this off my chest and I think I’m ready for whatever might come next.” 

Your mouth parts slightly from shock because of what he said but it slowly, turns into a huge grin.   

“Hajime, I don't know what to say…” you cut him off before he could say anything, 

“Because I like you too, and I have for such a long time.”

He lifts up his head with hope and a slight disbelief in his eyes, “You do..? You did..?!’’

“Yes..” you say with a small chuckle and a smile plastered across your face. You walk even closer until you're both mere inches away from each other. You take a relieved sigh and make eye contact with him. You wrap your arms around his neck and draw him in for a hug. He places his arms delicately around your waist hugging you back.

He slowly pulls away and cups your face ever so tenderly, pulling you in so that your lips are merely ghosting the others; and he gently kisses you. You felt as if that you were floating on clouds. His lips were so soft and warm it felt so surreal.

You both pull away and he says with a smile, “I've waited and wanted for so long to do that.”

You couldn't believe that everything that happened, actually happened. It felt like a scenario that you would only be able to play in your head. But it was all real and it was all happening. It felt like a dream, and if this were a scene in some cute drama there would have been hearts floating around your head right now, you felt lovestruck.

 Cause it’s been a while, since i’ve thought about the good things, all the bright light things all the good times that we had! It’s been a while, since I made u smile! 

You finally reach your apartment hand-in-hand, sitting down on the couch as soon as you enter. The night was filled with more conversations, laughter and just overall good times. Homework forgotten and disregarded, you let yourself go and have fun. Surprisingly everything felt like it just fell into place. 

You looked at him and maybe it was the alcohol but he was pretty sure he saw stars in your eyes. 

“I can't believe after all this time you're finally and actually mine.” you say.

Whatever magic or fate intertwined and lined you up to this exact moment you just knew that you were forever grateful.

[heartjwi]

could you do a bed sharing au with any of the dreamies,, ur choice im indecisive, like an e2l,,, im a sucker for bed sharing stuff 🤧🤧🤧

requests are open

going on spontaneous trips with the dreamies sorta became your thing™️

like expect someone to call you at 1 am and just be like:

“PACK YOUR SHIT WE’RE PICKING YOU UP IN 5”

and then y’all end up in the middle of no where in the middle of the night

but in the end, it’s always fun being with your best friends

except for jaemin

something about him just made your skin crawl

but it dont matter

cs u lit cher rally ignore him each time

you either stick with renjun or hyuck

no in between

jaemin is just,,,, he’s something else

anywho

the dreamies ,, yet again planned something spontaneously

and that is,,,

having a roadtrip across town

you don’t even know what the fuck they ate that day

to even plan something so,, out of the blue

and out of your own reach

like, you guys barely have any money combined for gas

and at some point y’all need to shower

that means staying at a hotel

and buying food

¿¿

but according to chenle, “money doesn’t matter. the memory with your love ones does”

so here y’all are,, packed in jeno’s car

“WHY DIDNT YOU GET THE MINI VAN” hyuck dramatically whines as he got in the passenger seat

the mf passenger seat

‘lucky bitch’ you thought as u squeezed yourself between renjun and jaemin

“why is y/n beside me and not jisung” jaemin complains

“cause i don’t want to sit with you” jisung replies on the other side of the car

jaemin grunts and avoids your physical contact at all costs

but obviously fails

every time jeno hits a speedbump you just fall right onto his lap

in which of course you remove yourself off of him in the speed of light

“you fucking suck at driving” renjun kicks jeno’s chair making the car brake abruptly

“I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE” chenle yells getting a paper bag and v*mits

car sickness yk??

the entire roadtrip was a mess

the sun has finally set and it was getting dark out

“yo um, i’m not gonna drive our asses all the way across town overnight i need me some beauty sleep” jeno looks at everyone with the rear view mirror

“theres a motel nearby let’s just stay there for tonight and tonight only” hyuck cleared out things, getting the GPS ready & working

“what are having for dinner?” you asked

“let’s just have some pizza” renjun suggests

“heh let’s try and not kill the pizza man” chenle snickers, remembring a certain scene from a music video he saw a few days ago

jaemin doesn’t say anything and just spaces out

you rolled your eyes at how he didn’t say anything

like i said, everything he does??? annoys tf out of you

“why are you so annoyed at him?” renjun asks you, playing with the hems of the blanket you two are sharing

“cause he’s jaemin. he’s so mean to me and i didnt do shit” you murmured, loud enough for renjun to hear

jaemin, who had his airpods on wasnt actually listening to songs

he was eavesdropping your conversation w renjun the entire trip

and he somehow felt bad that he was being mean to you

just the sudden realization hits him

but he brushed it off and continued to listen to everyones conversation

night time finally comes through and everyone is now at the motel

since renjun is ,, the legal adult in this situation

he booked everyone a room

with the limited budget y’all got atm,,, he only booked 3 rooms

“sad to say, two of us have to share 1 room together since all the two bed rooms are taken” renjun explains, holding out the three room keys

“let’s play rock paper scissors to determine the pairs” chenle suggested

“great idea bro” jisung whispers to chenle

“i know right bro” chenle giggles

you stared at the two kids in awe before being rudely pushed by jaemin himself

“move” he pushes past you

“dickhead” you muttered

“rock paper scissors.. shoot!” hyuck yells out

in the end the pairs were:

first room: jeno & hyuck; 

second room: jisung, chenle & renjun

(renjun gets that other single bed while chenji gets to share the bed)

and finally, the one bed room,,,

it was you and jaemin

“you gotta be fucking kidding me” you react

the 5 boys looked at the two of you uncertainly

especially renjun and jeno

“i’d switch rooms with you if you’d like” renjun offers

“yeah! you can have the lone bed y/n!” chenle smiles

but you both reject the offers

“are you okay with this?” jeno asks jaemin cautiously knowing how,, cranky he can become when he’s a tad bit tired

“yeah” jaemin mumbles

“are you sure-” 

“its fine. i can manage” jaemin waves jeno off

everyone slowly comes up to their rooms

you and jaemin stayed behind to get your stuff from the car

you got your small luggage and backpack and started trudging up the stairs

jaemin who was behind you couldn’t help but watch you in pity

he even started contemplating with himself whether or not to help you

swallowing his pride, he silently grabs both of your bags and sped walk to your room

you felt your heart flutter at his sudden actions

“snap out of it” you slapped yourself in the face

but still

you can’t hide that sly smile from your face

jaemin places your things by the door and went out to get some fresh air and some snacks

you decided that you’d use your alone time to go shower and pamper or some shit

after taking a cold shower (since the motel offers to PAY for hot water) you brushed your teeth and changed into pajamas

a little later jaemin comes back from his stroll

and walks in on you with your pink pajamas with a towel on top of your head

“cute” he comments, smirking at himself after seeing your flustered face

he does his business and later follows you to bed

there was a pillow barricade in the middle of the king sized bed

it was kinda awkward to move around since the bed creaks

and not to mention the mattress was hard as a rock

there was no TV in your room so to pass time, you stared at the ceiling fan in silence for god knows how long

till jaemin decides to break the silence

“i’m sorry” 

you sat up and stared at him— who was also staring right back at you

“for?” you raised a brow

“for everything. for being rude to you for no reason” he calmly states

“i’m sorry too” you look at him with a pout

jaemin chuckles, “i guess we’re even” 

after that, you and jaemin talk about endless things till the two of you got sleepy

“jaems, i’m tired” you whined

“this is the nth time you whined today. don’t get me started on your whines in the car” he nags

you scoffed, “bitch please”

“and don’t think you were trying to get handsy on me whenever you fall right onto my lap!” he accuses you

“like i wanted to touch you” you poke your tongue at him

jaemin rolls his eyes but laughs anyway

“since we’re friends now, lets get rid of this pillow barricade” he flings the pillow right onto the floor

“why though” you ask dumbfounded

“no reason” he giggles

“just admit you have a crush on me” you make kissy faces in front of him

he nearly gags but laughs yet again

you stared into his eyes which were sparkling

how come you never noticed such thing before?

“anyway, let’s sleep now” jaemin tells you before turning off the lights in the room

you two made yourself comfortable under the covers before hitting the hay

“goodnight jaemin” you whispered, closing your eyes

“sweet dreams, y/n” jaemin smiles to himself, before heading off to dreamland

the next morning, instead of feeling the cold and hard mattress, 

you found yourself hugging something warm and cuddly

you woke up to be in jaemin’s arms

[mollydollyjournals]

I got a message reminding me about an event that's happening next month that I forgot about. Where there'll be photos and I'll have to wear something nice. As it is I just about managed to go see a couple of close friends where I could wear my usual oversized stuff, and I was still massively insecure. I dont want to say I'll lose weight by then because I've been wanting to for so long but I keep fucking up and my mental state is just overall getting worse so why should I believe this time will be different? And I'm scared I'll have to go and be seen and decide whether to be in the photos and freak out later or make a big deal and ask not to be in them and then also feel like I'm missing out.

I did write out a schedule using a particular daily calorie count and a rough amount of exercise, with pigly. That says if I stick to it perfectly and my body responds perfectly then I could lose about 10lbs by then. But that's never going to be how it works. I'll be too exhausted to work out, drink, binge, my metabolism will just slow down. Even if by some miracle I did lose the weight, it's nowhere near a point where I can feel comfortable being seen in person let alone on camera again.

I'm a little overwhelmed thinking about it. I was already feeling shitty again today because my mind is going over the same 'everyone hates me/I'm gross/ugly/everyone will leave/i hate myself/etc' and I need to try to stay distracted from that because I was getting that strong urge to drink again. But now I'm freaking out about my weight for this event too. I get so stuck in the self hatred spiral i dont know how to deal with it except drink or SH but those things make it worse, or drinking does at least and SH will just be awkward if anyone sees that its fresh, and if I want to fix my body both for looks and health then I have to not drink when I feel like this, and just fuck everything. Fuck everything in my head.

Fuck my weight for being so much higher today than yesterday. I'm practically screaming at myself that there are reasons I could be holding more water weight than yesterday, but 1.4lbs?? When I feel like this? Kinda didnt need that. I never usually fluctuate that much and it's making me feel worse. It's making me feel like today is do or die. Even though there are legit reasons for me to be even more exhausted than usual and holding water, I feel like I should get up and do a workout and I have to make extra sure I dont binge because i have to be 155lbs by tomorrow and theres only one way to make that happen. But I also know my head hurts like fuck and I cant quite stand up straight I'm so tired, and theres no way a workout would be a good idea today. But then how do I deal with not being able to reach that goal, that tiny goal, especially knowing that it's the best chance I have for being able to have any kind of confidence in myself?

I cant continue like this. It affects everything. I need to have a body that I feel okay in. I need to fix my weight gain. But every time an event or something like this comes up, sure its motivation, but it's also absolutely terrifying because theres no way I'll succeed and then I'm just still gonna have to be there and be seen and I'm so bad at these spirals. I need some other way to deal with it and I've tried so long to do it by myself but I know for a fact I spiral so fast when I have no support and that's exactly how it is and how it will be and I'm just still really lost and I just want to be okay

[samatok-i]

sooooo this is my first request here so I spent 737484647 hours thinking on what would be a good start but I think I'll settle for something simple,, may I request first date headcannons for the boyes?

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAIT TUMBLR RLLY LET ME HAVE IT!!! blease accept these qwq (im breaking them up by division so the post wont be so cluttered :0)

💫 Allstars on a First Date Pt. 1💫

♡Buster Bros♡ :

Ichiro: 

-He wants to take you to the movies! He’s not picky at all about what you guys go to see because he’s the kinda guy to enjoy the experience no matter what kinda movie it was! He’d love to talk about it afterwards with you if the movie was trash or if it was really good! (when he saw Into the Spider-verse with his bros he raved about it for days) 

-(his fav spidey person is Peni cuz he’s a slut for mecha anime)

-If you wanted to pick the movie that’d be totally fine with him! (unless theres a new movie adaption of an anime he wants to see- he’d agree with your choice but you can see the Longing in his eyes as he walks past the poster and you just might hafta give in lmao)

-Definitely pays for your snacks and drinks even if you protest because he’s a huge sweetheart (need me a MANS)

-He’s no scrub either he goes for the large drink, the large popcorn. AND king size m&ms??? Do you even deserve him????? No baby I’ll hold the food tray you’ve done enough 😤

-He finds y’all good seats and takes the tray so you can get comfortable before doing so himself and immediately going to demolish the popcorn before the previews end because he’ll always be a rebel at heart

-During the movie he (subtly but not Really) shifts closer to you and occasionally leans over or puts his hand on your shoulder lightly to whisper a joke or a thought he has about the movie in your ear (stay calm Reader-chan)

-You sorta spend the rest of the movie whispering jokes and making witty comments and giggling to yourselves like adult children and Ichiro thinks your laugh when your trying not to laugh is cute

-If something funny happens during the movie he’ll laugh loudly, if something sad happens you’ll hear him sniffling into his jacket sleeve and if something scary happens he’d keep that to himself but the way the his voice wavers when he asks if you’re okay kind of gives him away (he will Jump at the opportunity to hold your hand if you ask)

-He asks to stay after the credits because he cannot miss any after credits scenes its not in his blood, that’s not the kinda man he is

-After the movie is officially over he beats you to throwing away the trash and putting the tray back

-Would also immediately fire off about what stuck out to him in the movie and what he thought it lacked and ask your thoughts about it with a glimmer in his eyes

-He set a curfew for himself that he told his brothers he’d be back by but you both have a few more hours to kill so he asks if you wanted to grab dinner somewhere

-The place he takes you too isn’t fancy or high class, it’s just a nice, warm family diner he takes Jiro and Saburo to sometimes- he promises you’ll like it! (the place is also very special to him yknow)

-”If you don’t like it you never hafta go out with me again!” he joked but when you told him in all seriousness that you wouldn’t do that to him, some sort of tension fell away from his demeanor and he laughed warmly (relieved even) and said how that was real sweet of you

-Ichiro makes good conversation over dinner- he treats you like that he would an old friend or someone close to him and makes sure you stay engaged in the conversation just as much as he is

-After dinner (he pays of course- he was quick to whip out his wallet) you both make your way outside of the restaurant and you notice how he starts to fidget by rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his weight from each leg

-He asks if you had a good time and when you tell him you did (you Better) he visibly lights up, all traces of nervousness leaving him and his smile is big and its adorable

-(If you tell him that he wouldn’t know what to do other than stutter out a shocked thank you as his cheeks color)

-He says maybe you guys could go out again sometime? If you want? It’s totally chill if you don’t tho.

-When you say yes you didn’t think his smile could get any brighter and you realize how nice it makes you feel. How fuzzy.

-”Okay cool! That’s awesome! I’ll talk to you later alright? Be careful on your way home!”

-When you respond he starts fidgeting again like he wants to say something else and when you’re about to ask him what was up he quickly pecks your cheek before you could even register how close he had gotten. If his face wasn’t red before it definitely is now

-”I’ll call you okay? G’night!” he waves as he’s leaving and his big smile never leaves his face

Jiro:

-It’s arcade time! That would definitely be his first choice on where to take you

-Ichiro insists Jiro bring you over before y’all leave and although Jiro would love for his Niichan to meet you he can’t say the same for that little rugrat he’s forced to share a home with

-Of course he brings you anyway because Ichiro really wanted to meet you and Jiro can’t just say no to his older brother like that (Ichiro made Saburo promise to behave and he did so while wrinkling his nose and shooting Jiro a look behind Ichiro’s back and Jiro shot him a smug look in kind- Ichiro caught that one though and flicked his ear)

-When you reach the front door of the Yamada residence the door swings open before you could even knock

-Ichiro greets you warmly and eagerly ushers you inside telling you how much he’s wanted to meet you because “Jiro talks about you a whole lot yknow!” (Jiro makes a strangled noise of betrayal and his face goes red)

-You get an excited introduction from Ichiro and a less excited more being polite out of obligation introduction from Saburo (who’s about to make a quip at how Jiro even got someone to go on a date with to which Ichiro pushes Jiro towards you and says how you both ought to be going- “Also don’t forget about curfew got it? Have fun!”)

-When y’all make it to the arcade and get your game cards (they’re still tokens in my Heart) Jiro asks what game you wanna hit first and then y’all just sorta take turns dragging each other around

-His personal favorite games are 1v1 fighting games, racing games and dancing games- he loves the competition they bring and if you challenge him it’ll totally pump him up “You’re gonna regret it when I kick your ass!” 

-You guys go around the arcade with a new fighting spirit and try to kick each other asses at almost every game. Basketball, air hockey, hell even wack-a-mole- theres no holding back on any of them

-After you guys’ 3 round long dance battle you announce that you need a Break and he agrees (his jock ass could go for a few more rounds but he don’t wanna leave you out)

-He buys you a drink of your choice because he was informed that that was the Manly thing to do (”gentlemanly” was the word used but technicalities, technicalities) and asked if you’re down to get some food 

-Y’all both go for pizza (unless dear Reader is lack toes of taller ants then he wouldn’t mind letting you pick)

-You guys just share a big platter because Jiro’s funds are limited but he’d still like to treat you

-You guys laugh more often than you chew and take silly videos of each other eating to post on social media until you both decide that it was time to make more rounds around the arcade

-When it’s time to exchange game points for prizes Jiro loses his impulse control (read: non-existent) and picks out a bunch of dumbass shit

-”Bro I’ve wanted a kazoo for so fuckin’ long it ain’t even funny”

-If you want something a little higher on the points list but don’t have enough for he’d put back some of his shit (goodbye Creeper plushie) and say y’all could try combining points

-When its about time to leave Jiro clumsily says that he could walk you home- if you want! It comes out rougher than he intended and he can feel his face heating up but he’s determined to hold eye contact with you until you give him an answer

-He walks home with you until you both reach the front door of your place (also like how he was informed) and says he had a real good time and that y’all should definitely go again…y’know if you want…or whatever…

-You tell him you do and his face is Priceless (shock turning into something more like joy until he schools his features to look less like an excited puppy)

-Now unsure of how to end the conversation without being awkward he settles for the Bro Clap on your shoulder (totally not awkwa r d) and promises to get at you later 

-”I’ll dm you later ok? See ya!” he turns leaving you with a cool wave over his shoulder but he has the biggest grin on his face

Saburo:

-Oh god Saburo’s first date

-It’s his first date

-”Baby’s first date haha” “Shut up, maggot”

-He’s so nervous please help him

-He doesn’t have a clue how he was able to invite you out for the weekend let alone get away with calling it a date

-He’d be stroking his big fat ego if he didn’t feel like he was going to collapse- but he’ll be fine he has to be

-After all it’s just the aquarium! He actually likes the aquarium unlike the idiotic suggestions The Lesser One gave him (he would never go to the mall by choice). But he found the specimens kept at the aquarium to be interesting.

-Also Ichiro said he’d “chaperone” as his support (which Saburo would have never asked his Ichinii to do so in any other situation but…it’s a date. This is not his area of expertise. No matter how much research he had done on what to do and what not to do his anxiety never went away.)

-The plan was to meet the Yamada brothers at the aquarium and sure enough you couldn’t miss the two freakishly tall boys (one waving with both hands and the other meekly raising one hand in greeting)

-Ichiro took the lead, introducing himself on the way in and thanking you for taking care of Saburo (Saburo’s cheeks may have tinged a light pink at that)

-After making your way in Ichiro said he’d get out of y’alls hair and to text him if you needed anything

-Then you were both alone

-Saburo squashes the feeling of unease settling in his stomach and whips out a map of the building, asking if there was an exhibit you’d like to see first and then set off when you’ve made your pick

-At the exhibit he finds himself wanting to tell you what he knows about this particular species but he doesn’t want to annoy you or seem like he’s bragging about his knowledge (thats what kids at school usually assume- and although he Is known to brag he also like to share facts for fun)

-He starts slowly, “You know these animals are actually very interesting..”

-When you turn away from the exhibit to look at him and prompt him to speak more he’s actually startled and stutters a bit before continuing 

-You tell him that what he said was interesting and these animals were cooler than you thought!

-Oh. Oh.

-Saburo’s face feels warm as he opens the map again

-You guys laugh at the otters, marvel at the jellyfish and pet the little stingrays (Saburo was honestly a little reluctant at first but you coax him into it easily and the smile he wears when he touched one is a sweet little thing)

-He was becoming more eager to share his random information with you and you were just as entertained to listen

-He also laughs with you if you point out something funny the animals are doing

-”Hehe T-Pose crab.” “T-Pose cr a b” (these r what kids b talkin about dont @ me)

-He found himself loosening up around you qwq

-You guys eventually reach the gift shop and Saburo’s immediately drawn to these little sting ray plushies (they remind him of Mantyke from pokemon hehe) and he really wants one but…should he? In front of you?

-You catch him staring at them and then get a crazy idea: you both get one

-His cheeks flush immediately and before he can protest with something stupid you pick one up and give it to him while taking one for yourself. 

-Saburo was so caught off guard that he almost forgot to offer to pay (its Gentlemanly, Jiro, not Manly you fucking imbecile-)

-(Regardless MC BB taught them well)

-After you both snap a pic of your matching pokemon plushies, Saburo texts Ichiro asking if he could take you guys to McDonalds and Ichiro is fucking on it bro

-You all leave to get some McNuggies and make fun of the new Lion King toys because that shit is nasty (i know Hypmic is set in the near future but have you considered: i do what i please)

-It’s sundown by the time you all finish eating so Ichiro insists they accompany you home

-When you all reach your place Ichiro fakes a phone call and leaves you kids to be anxious alone

-Saburo says he hopes you had a good time and that if you’re ever free on the weekend again maybe you could hang out? If you’d like to…. (Ichiro fist pumps from behind the corner)

-You tell him of course you would and his cheeks grow warm again and he stutters out an “O-Okay!” and that he’ll keep in touch and he smiles and you smile and its cute bro

-He leaves you with a “I’ll see you at school” and a small wave

-He tries to keep his face neutral when Ichiro asks him how it went (and that his Mantyke plush is cute) but he fails horribly, a slow smile creeping onto his features

♡

WOO finally finished these for a second time! i still had a lotta fun writing them though!! the rest of the divisions will be up shortly ;3c thanks for requesting!! 💖💗💕

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

So I have a rant and a half build up of rambling about my very first Percy Jackson Oc Elysia and I need to let it spill so all of you get to hear this info dump about her and my feels

Im putting a trigger warning here I made her when I first read the whole series a few years back. Her backstory isnt the happiest. So im going to put trigger warnings for mentions of (but not going into detail of) abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, so if you cant handle mentions of that please dont read this I dont want to upset you

Anyways I have years of work into this bab of mine and I need to get it all out

Also An important thing to note is the timeline of her(and my other ocs) stories. Basically it kinda takes place...as if Trials of Apollo didnt happen?? Sorta? I made her before it ever came out and set her story after Blood of Olympus before trials of apollo was announced so its basically diverges after Blood of Olympus...if that makes sense...I hope it does. 

So basically....At the start of her story Elysia is 13 Nico is 16(from what I remember its been about two years since I read the books so please forgive me)

Ok this might jump around alot because im kinda word vomiting and info dumping about her so if something doesnt make sense please feel free to ask me to clarify I love to

OK SO MY BAB

So her full name is Elysia Angela Melina and shes a Daughter of Hades. At the start when she gets to camp shes 13.

Im going to attatch two pictures ive drawn of her to the post here

This is her with a referrence sheet of her at 13-14 and the digital picture is one of her at the present time that I tend to write about her at age 16.

So Elysia doesnt have things easy. She comes from an abusive household that really fucked her up mentally and emotionally before she got to camp. She ran away at 13 after getting kicked out of her sixth or seventh school and thigs got ugly at home. Stuff happened and she was brought to camp(im refining and probably going to redo how that happens) and well...she doesnt exactly fit in.

Shes on the shorter side for her age and shes lanky and skinny(partially from both skipping meals and sometimes only eating when she can sneak food at home) and she comes onto the scene wearing oversized hand me downs in all dark colors and long sleeves thats got a clear fearful and insecure posture and stance and is always trying to blending into the background and hide from being noticed. Shes got a thick mane of not very well cared for black hair and eyes so dark in color they look completely black, sometimes even in the light with pretty dark bags under them highlighted by really really too pale skin. So it makes her an easy target to be bullied ya know? But she silently takes it like she always does while clutching this beat up little backpack she ran away with as shes put in the Hermes cabin until she’s claimed(which has a 1-3 day delay depending on the god, because a lot of kids come to camp especially at the start of summer) 

When she gets claimed she freaks out and panics because everyone is staring at her and shes suddenly the center of attention because it happened in the middle of the campfire.

So begins the bonding with her big brother.

Shes got alot of inner turmoils and traumas and problems and inner demons and as a result she has undiagnosed anxiety disorders, depression, and some PTSD along with a very low amount of self-esteem and confidence in herself from the ordeals of before reaching camp. Though once shes at camp and she eventually settles in she starts recovering bit by bit. She slowly gets close with nico(it starts kinda awkward for both of them and she comes off really quiet and shy and terrified of sudden movement so its a little hard but they overcome it)

 By the end of her first year at camp shes gotten close to Nico but has a really hard time making friends with other campers her own age so she ends up sticking close to Nico and following him like his shadow because theres a period of time that heś the only person Elysia feels even remotely safe and comfortable around. And as a result at first she spends alot more time with Nico’s friends and various members of the Big Seven and she gets close to them as well(more to her siblings at first but she gets there shes a nervous bean give her time)

Though in the middle of that first year she meets a girl that soon becomes one of her best and closest friends, a daughter of Hephaestus named Karter Becks(the second oc for this fandom I made) and I’ll get to more about their friendship later.

So by the second year at camp shes settled in a little, shes decidedly become a year-rounder because she would rather be eaten by a harpy than go back to “that horrible place”as she dubs it(not to mention its very very dangerous for her outside of camp)

More things about Elysia!!!

At thirteen she had absolutely NO control of reign of her abilities. She couldnt raise or summon the dead, her shadow travel was horribly spotty and half the time she couldnt even do so correctly and her most experience with spirits is that she can sense them and she can hear and speak to them but she cant really see them( they appear as really really blurry shapes that hurt her eyes to look at for too long) of course she beats herself up over this lack of skill, mostly because she(stupidly but understandably) compares her lack of teaching and training and beginner skill level to Nico’s at the time current skill level. Yeah its dumb and yeah in the back of her mind where her common sense is she realizes this but she cant stop herself from doing so, just like she unfairly to herself compares her sword fighting skill to older campers that have been there longer. 

She eventually gets her own sword of Stygian Iron, because no matter what else she tries no other swords feel...right to her. They’re always too heavy or too light too awkward to hold dont work right with her swings or just dont feel right to her so at some point shes overthinking herself to death about it and beating herself up for being too picky when Karter suggests innocently that she tries swinging around her brother’s sword. “After all Elys, whats the worst that would happen, that it feels too heavy?” 

But what ends up happening is that though its too heavy for her, it still feels...right. The best way to describe it is that she feels more connected to her powers and to herself in a way. After hearing that she gets her own of Stygian iron and its...perfect to her. Its not too heavy on her wrist or too light to wield. And afterwards she actually starts getting some more confidence which helps her improve a little faster than before.

Once Elysia is fully apart of camp life it takes a long time for it to fully click that her belongings...are hers and her likes and interests and likes are respected. They wont get taken away or threatened, she doesnt have to hide what she likes or pretend she doesnt like one thing or another. She’s free to be her own person for the first time in her life and she struggles for awhile to adjust to that and accept it. Those struggles result in alot of scattered breakdowns and even one or two...relaspes that for once in her life she has a support system of her half brother and half sister, his friends, her two close friends, and chiron to catch her and help her back to her feet. She has people to lean on and depend on and not have to be afraid of and this helps alot into her recovery and acceptance of herself and her mental illnesses. It takes her two of the three years shes been at camp for her to get at the better place shes at when shes 16, where she now has a small group of good friends, shes managed to bring up some of her self-esteem and self  confidence, shes been clean for a year and shes in therapy for her PTSD and depression and shes opened up more to those around her and shes not the terrified jumps at her own shadow kid but a more quiet but kindhearted and sometimes even giggly teen whose slowly getting her life back together with plans for the future.

But on the topic of things she likes...

This girl loves-no ADORES animals, all kinds mythical or not. She didnt show it at first but she was so SOOOO excited when she realized the camp had Pegasi even though she tried to keep a distance from them because she realized she made them nervous. Oh man you shouldve SEEN her when Chiron took a group of campers her age into the woods and they caught a glimpse of a passing through unicorn. She was giddy about it for DAYS guys. She just...she has so much love and admiration and excitement for animals its so cute you guys.

Elysia also loves(ironically) learning about Mythology, from all over the world. Its her special interest and when she finds and buys a old broken touch screen phone(or one of those touch screen i-pod or something) and gets Karter  to fiddle with it and (eventually after shenanigan filled misadventures of trying to upgrade it to not be detected by monsters and fix the cracked screen) she fills that thing to the brim of downloaded auidobooks of different mythologies as she can and she listens to them when doing schoolwork(she ends up having do be “homeschool” by online classes because things just do not go right when trying to attend schools outside of the protected borders)

She also loves anything soft. Especially stuffed animals. Oh my god she loves stuffed animals, well into her teens. She had one she managed to bring with her to camp that is her ultimate comfort object, a older beat up and been through a life time of ringers and back stuffed husky doll that she cherishes and takes care of like one might take care of gold. Over time (once they found out her birthday--October 5th) she starts getting stuffed animals as presents or just even as little splurges on herself . She also loves soft blankets soft clothes soft anything. She loves the texture and feel of it and it makes her happy.

She’s an aspiring writer and songwriter and can even sing a little but she has no confidence in her ability in any of those. But she has boxes and piles of notebooks and journals filled with little cartoony doodles and pages upon pages of stories and songs shes been writing for years now

Fun fact during her first year at camp Percy and Annabeth dropped by for a visit during their winter break to visit friends and I have this whole little story I might post about hoe when Percy’s walking to go meet someone he finds Elysia sitting alone at the beach doodling animals in her journal and he goes up to her(shes sitting all curled up so at a distance it probably looked like she was crying or something) to see if shes ok and because Nico had been telling him about her via iris messages and updates since she got there but he didnt get to meet her during the summer(stuff happened and she kinda hid from alot of people) but he finds her and he sits with her(after announcing his presence because Nico has told him about her being very jumpy and easily scared and that at that point hes the only one she really opens up to so dont take offense to it) and they sit for a bit and Percy asks her about her doodles and she just, for the first time like ever, she starts to open up because she gets so freaking excited and hyper about it that she just starts babbling away about her doodles and the animals of them and then about animals in general and she goes on this whole, like 30-40 minute info dump/ rant about them complete with diverting tangent questions that she answers herself before continuing with this just lit up and openly happy and ecstatic expression as she goes on and on while hes sitting there just listening to her and smiling down at her partly nostalgically because at that moment she reminds him so much of how Nico was when he first met him and you got him started on Mythomagic and that shes being so open about her excitement and then she looks at him and realizing what she was doing and she shuts herself up now panicking about how much she just word vomited on her big brother’s friend and more importantly this huge shot demigod Son of Poseidon whose saved the world not once but TWICE and who is probably very busy too busy to be hanging around with her--you get the idea of her panicking until Percy slowly reaches out his hand and she nods to let him know its ok and he ruffles her hair and tells her its ok he liked listening to her and holy shit I went on a tangent about that. 

She also has alot of sweet bonding moments with Nico and Hazel because they teach her about having a loving and caring family and what thats like and its really sweet and cute and emotional

Did I mention she likes taking Nico’s shirts? Oh yeah she likes “borrowing” Nico’s shirts, and some of his jackets, mostly t-shirt and long sleeved shirts because once they get close his scent and presence really relaxes her nerves if she gets anxious. Of course its not stealing, its just borrowing and eventually giving back on laundry days...or he just lends it to her without being fully aware of it. Its cute because shes so short that they end up really big on her and she loves flapping the sleeves and the feeling of being engulfed in the safety of his presence without him even being there

ANYWAY COUGH COUGH 

uhhhhhhh....yeah thats alot about her huh I think i’ll leave you all with that to take it and make sense of and I might make a part two(or you guys can ask about her too) 

and yeeeeeeeeeee thats my PJO oc Elysia Melina!!

@phantommoonpeople 

@kid-crashed

@demidorks (im sorry if im bothering you by tagging you youre one of the pjo blogs I follow and one of my favorites)

[boomboombitches-blog1]

Boyfriend Vernon

-First off, really awkward

-Like not just in the beginning but, for a while

-In multiple ways

-In the beginning he’s just really awkward in every way, but really sweet and cute

-Lots of hand kisses and awkward side hugs

-Slowly, he gets more into physical contact and less blushy whenever it happens

-You have to initiate it a lot tho

-Every once in awhile he will, until finally he’s totally comfortable with it and will do it himself

-He doesn’t really like pda though, he probably finds it a bit disrespectful

-a hand hold is probably the most you’ll get out of him most days

-Back to how he’s awkward, if you say something and he doesn’t know how to reply, or you get sick or something, he just stands there, moving his lips but not talking because he’s trying to figure out what to say

-His eyebrows furrow and eventually, he probably just starts to nod and make that one face. i’m sure u know the one

-if you don’t idk how to describe it, hes kinda pouty and his eyes are squinted and his brows are furrowed and he looks like hes judging you hella hard

-but theres also the times that you say something and he doesn’t know how to reply but he’s feeling cool and so he just slyly winks or something

-and truthfully his reply is based off his mood, there’s no telling whats gonna happen

-he’s like, a really complex person idk there’s no telling what hes gonna do

-Sometimes its him with the random comments

-he doesn’t really have a filter when you’re alone, he just says what he thinks, no matter how odd, wrong the time is, or how out of context it might be taken

-He doesn’t like to go out for dates, it just feels too complicated and for what? he might even get more time with you at home

-a date to the store to buy groceries isn’t unheard of lmao

-or ice cream

-He laughs all the time around you because he thinks everything you do is cute

-His favorite kind of night is to lay in bed late at night when its storming on your sides facing each other and just talk, most of the time about serious things

-He likes the strong emotional connection he feels with you on nights like that and that’s when he’s most truly himself

-He smiles softly, laughs loudly, and often reaches up to stroke your cheek or brush through your hair or something like that

-He’s not shy, he’s really just himself

-He’s very oriented on his own opinions, and while he won’t like dislike you or something for yours differing, he’s not going to change them for you

-it’s not as harsh as it sounds, just that the things he believes in are very important to him, and he could love you more than anything else in the world but he lives life his own way and sees things his own way and trusts in himself

-he’s very independent, but also childlike in a sense

-once  he trusts you, he looks up to you a lot

-he’s still really innocent in a lot of ways

-he takes relationships seriously, and falls in love quickly, but it takes him a long time to say ‘i love you,’ and he won’t say it often

-he gets lost in his own thoughts a lot, and while sometimes its something silly, he’s usually thinking about really deep things

-i know i mentioned it before, but he really likes deep conversations

-he also likes memes

-not to the point where he knows a lot of them, he’s a bit too work-oriented for that, but if he sees something he thinks is cute or funny, he won’t hesitate to show you

-so you can expect 3am cat videos

-He wants to talk to you at least once every day

-He actually gets jealous really easily, but he won’t show it at all because he trusts you

-but he still wants it to be him you’re interacting with, instead

-He likes sharing things with you

-Like it makes him happy (and proud in that boyish ego way) when you wear his clothes and stuff

-but if you wear his favorite you better promise to give it back because he loves that damn sweatshirt

-He also likes couple things

-like very subtle things that he can wear a lot and people won’t notice

-like he’ll get you both necklaces or something and wear it under his clothes while he’s away to subtly show you that he’s thinking about you without being obnoxious and showing it off

-He wants your relationship to be really private- more than it probably will be all things considered- and that’ll stress him out a lot

-sometimes, later in your relationship, he comes come and collapses into your arms and cries a little bit, but usually he doesn’t show much emotion like that

-it’s not that he hates it or anything, he really likes talking about emotions and stuff actually because it makes him feel closer to you

-he always wants you to tell him how you feel, and he wants to be there for you even if he oftentimes doesn’t know how to comfort you really??

-you have to get along with his family (his members included)

-He’s a cuddler

-not in front of anyone, but if you’re alone he’ll pull you close to him and just lay there holding you until he gets hungry or something like he’s totally happy just chilling (but he wants music on or something so its not silent and awkward)

-he’s really supportive of everything you want because follow your dreams!!

-all in all, he loves you a lot

-He’s really careful around you at first, loves conversation more than anything, and is just the cutest boyfriend

-one more important thing!! music! 

-he likes to show off the music he makes and other music he likes because its so important to him and he wants it to be shared between you and he likes to listen to your music too, and he really likes like sharing headphones and stuff

-so cute i love him

[exoticcal]

Michael x Reader: Totally? Totally.

michael mell x reader where michael and reader are best friends and are mutually pining and one day michael word vomits his feelings after they get high af

A/N: I didn’t know if there was any specific gender put to the reader so I’m making the pronouns so it can be read for anyone! :) also, warning of marijuana talk lol

“(Y/N), are you doing anything tonigh?” Michael asked, poking at his best friends side as they ate at a cafe after school.

“Michael it’s Friday, there’s parties going on tonight.” (Y/N) said, taking a bite of their food.

“Oh.. So you’re going to a party tonight.. you?” He snorts, playing with the food on his little plate. 

“Depends on if you were wanting to do anything. The party that Christine and Jeremy want to go to is at someone who I don’t even knows house AND it’s apparently going to be a big party.. You know, big crowds and unfamiliar places are so not my cup of tea.” They turned towards Michael, raising their eyebrow at him waiting to hear what he’d want to do.

“Wanna get stoned in my basement and play video games or watch movies?” He questioned, meeting their eyes and earning an eager nod.

“Hell yeah, that sounds so much better than a party.” (Y/N) said while pulling out their phone, typing out a message to send to Christine apologizing for not being able to make it to the party. “When would you want to start our plan tonight? Will this be a sleepover?”

Michael's cheeks slowly started to heat up, thinking about it being a sleepover. This shouldn’t be a big deal, they’ve had many sleepovers before. Just not that many alone. Michael nodded, taking a drink of his slightly over priced coffee. “I-I mean if you want it to be a sleepover th-that could totally be a think.” 

“Yeah! I’d like it to be a sleepover. Do you think you could drop me off at my house after this so I can pack a bag?” (Y/N) quietly asked, drinking their own pricey drink while looking over at Michael as he gave them a nod. 

“’Course.” He smiled as he gets up to throw away the trash that they both had, grabbing their now empty plates and putting them in a little dish bin. “Are you ready to go?” He asks, picking up his bag and taking out his keys.

(Y/N) nods, grabbing their stuff after standing up and pushing the chairs in. They followed after Michael as he left the cafe and went towards his car. The could help but look him over, admiring his messy hair and that old jacket that somehow still in one piece. He unlocked the car and both of them climbed in and set off towards (Y/N)’s house.

(Y/N)’s POV:

The car ride was quiet but the faint sound of Michaels music playing through the speakers filled up the empty air between us. It wasn’t an uncomfortable awkward silence between us, it was calm and comfortable. I smiled to myself after recognizing the calmness we naturally have with each other.

“What’s got you smiling?” Michael asks me, glancing over at me. “Ooo did you get a cute message from a guy?” He asks teasingly. I blush and shake my head in response, looking out the window. 

“That’s totally what happened! Who??” He asks, not fully sounding excited about the topic. I look at him and show him my phone which was blank.

“No one.” I laugh and push his face back towards the road. “Now pay attention dummy.” He quietly grumbles about how he was paying attention and how he’s an amazing drive which makes me laugh quietly to myself.

After another 5 minutes of driving he pulls up into my drive away. “Alright, get your ass outta here.” He jokes, shooing me away with his hands.

“Fine, fine!” I climb out of his car, grabbing my stuff. “What time do you want me to come over?” 

He looks at the time before looking back at me, “Maybe in like an hour? Does that give you enough time?” I smile and nod before walking towards my front door. As I go to walk in, I hear Michael honk his horn and look back at him confused.

“I-I didn’t get to tell you earlier but you look good today!” Michael calls out, giving me a thumbs up.

“Thank you, Mike!” I call back, turning back to walk inside and shut the door behind me. My face flushing pink as I eagerly running up to my room

He just complimented me!! 

Relax, (Y/N). He’s probably meaning it in a best friend way.. Yeah. That’s totally it. He’d never be into you.. 

I make my way to my bathroom and start to prep to take a shower so I’m not gross and smelly when I go over to Michaels later. I hop into the shower and quickly clean myself an my hair and get out of the shower after about 15 minutes. I dry off and get dressed in my pjs so I don’t have to awkwardly change at Michaels house at some point in the night. I pack a small over night bag and lay on my bed and sit on my phone.

I look at my phone and notice that time passed pretty quickly so I grab all my stuff and go downstairs. I grab the spare car keys for the car that my parents let me borrow for weekends but refuse to let me drive it school and throw everything inside it before driving away towards Michaels house.

I pull up to his house and get out my car, snagging all my stuff as I make my way to his front door and knock. There’s an awkward couple seconds before the door swings open, revealing Michael in his pjs. 

“Heey!” He cheers, grabbing my bag from me and setting in down by the living room couch. “C’mon in!” 

I walk into his house, shutting the door behind me. “No parents tonight?” I look around, walking further into the house moving toward the door leading to his basement.

“Are they ever home..?” He mumbles, following after me. “D-Do you want to play some games first then watch movies?” 

I hear him stutter slightly, but shrug it off before opening the door and walking down the carpeted cement steps, inhaling the weed scent of his little hang out spot. “Yeah. Movies make me kinda tired after watching them for too long ya feel?” I plop onto one of the worn out bean bags. 

“Oh, I feel ya.” I look over at him and notice his face turn red. “Not like actual feel but like metaphorically feel.” 

“I got it, Michael.” I calm him down, rubbing his arm. He’s cute when he gets flustered, but why was he getting flustered over that? “Let’s smoke!” I quickly change the subject, knowing weed is something that calms him down better than anything else.

He leans over and holds up joints and a bong, “Which one?” I point at the bong, knowing that it gets you high quicker than a joint will. Michael smokes more Indica strands of weed because it helps him relax and sleep, while sometimes he smoke stavia strands before a long day at school or before a party so it gets him energized. How do I know all of this? He’s legitimately lectured me on weed. I watch him organize the bong and take a hit then he moves it over to me, I put my mouth against it and he lights it for me and holds the whole unit too. I pull away after I take a hit and he smiles, taking another one himself. 

“Can I do it alone next time?” He’s never let me do it by myself because the first time we smoked together I was too nervous to actually hold it up right. He nods, mid hit and blows the smoke towards me, handing the bong over.

I slowly but surely do it by myself and cheer after I successfully do it by myself. “I did it!” I throw my hands it the air and I hear Michael mumble something under his breath. “What was that?”

“Oh, I-I want another hit.” He quickly takes the bong back from me and takes a hit, and then another.

“Okay, slow down big boy.” I laugh, placing my hand on his own which is going to light another hit. He nods, placing it down. “You can have another hit after I kick your ass in Mario Kart.” 

“Ha. You wish.” He scoffs, turning on the console and handing me a remotely before plopping back on his bean bag. We start a game up and the whole race is filled with us jokingly insulting each other as we are both struggling to get 1st place from one another. At the final lap, I finally surpass him as the finish line approaches. 

“YES! Suck on that Michael!!” I cheer, standing up and dancing around. I hear the sound of him taking another hit off the bong, and sit back down.

“I totally let you win” 

“Suure you did baby boy.” I laugh and take the bong from him, take another strong hit.

“I totally did, sweetheart.” My face flushes pink at that nickname. 

“And why did you do that?” I question, cockily. I turn towards him and see him sprawled onto his bean bag, theres a long pause between my question and I go to speak again.

“Totallybecauseifuckingloveyoududeandhavelovedyouforpastcouplemonthandlikenotjustasafriendbutaslikeloveloveyouknow?Iwouldneverletjustanyonebeatmyassatmariokartbutiddefinitelyletyoubeatmyassat itanytimeandanyday.” I blink at him, processing everything he had just vomitted out. Did he just.. confess his love to me? 

He quickly stands up, rushing out an apology. “Itotallyshouldnothavesaidanything.pleaseforgeteverythignthatijustsaid,youcantotallystoptalkingtomeifyoutoeventhoughthatwouldfuckingruinme” I found myself, standing up and moving towards him. “Ijustruinedthiswholenightwithmystupidfeelingshuh?IknewineverhadachancewithyousowhydidIevenbothertellingyouinthefirstplace?godimsuchanidiot.”

He covers his face with him hands and I reach up, gently prying them away from him. “Hey, Mikey, hey its okay.” I coo softly, placing my hand on the side of his face. His eyes never leaving my own. “I totally love you too.” 

“Wh-What? You do?” He blinks rapidly, his facial expression showing clear confusion.

“Yes.”

“Totally?” He murmurs, his arms encircling themselves around my waist.

“Totally.” I murmur back, pulling his face towards mine.

“Can I kiss you?” He anxiously asks.

“I was hoping you would.” He cuts me off, locking lips with mine. The taste of weed very evident in both our mouths, he pulls away breathless and smiles widely. 

“Can I do that again?” I laugh and nod, allowing him to kiss me again and again through out the night

[kickspace]

Thursday

On thursday I went to a womens coming out discussion group that I’d found on Meetup.com. It was held at like a safespace for queer youth, its a level of this building where LGBTQ youth can just come hang out and there’s a kitchen and games room and it’s really bright and colourful but anyway they hold 3 adult group meetings and i went to the womens coming out one.

I was the youngest one there. In high school I’d never dated or had things/hooked up with anyone at parties and everyone sort of questioned that from time to time. Everyone just got the impression I was frigid or disinterested in romance and I always felt sort of embarrassed that I’m 19 now and still don’t have any “experience” with dating or flirting or sex.

But on average these women were like, five years older than me. One was forty and only came to terms she was a lesbian two years ago. Another one was fifty and did the same around five years ago. Both had lived their lives as straight women before coming out. One had actually been married with kids, both had felt it was wrong and looking back on it now can see they repressed feelings from when they were growing up. They have memories growing up where they had same sex attracted feelings but could never understand/face it so just lived as straight women. Now they don’t know how to reach out to other gay women because they’re not in the younger scene and in a way feel like they’re having to learn basic social etiquettes all over again. 

There was blonde woman there who I felt really sorry for. She came across as maybe depressed. She talked briefly about how she’d been in denial growing up and could never explain to her family why she didn’t want to be with people they’d set up with her,  then said something similar to the two older women that she’d only accepted that she was gay two or so years ago but at twenty seven now, shy and basically a home-body when she’s not at work, she doesn’t see how she can meet other gay women which I felt on the d-low meant date/find someone. Then she was like “but going to groups like this..at least I’m leaving the house right” and then she laughed in a very hollow way and I felt so sad for her. I kinda wanted to talk to her afterward but got too shy lmao.

There was one woman there that irritated me though, she was the only straight woman but an asexual. This woman who spoke pretty frequently throughout, more so than the gay women. She was talking about how she doesn’t want to come out as asexual to her friends because it’s something “hard to explain, its something indistinguishable” going on to say that “at least people know what homosexuality is, It would be easier if I were coming out as a lesbian” 

And no one was comfortable enough at that stage to glance at each other but I definitely felt like the blonde girl next to me shift at that. She also started talking about this guy she’s been seeing who just texted her that he wants to “see her in private” and she doesn't know what to do. I was just kinda...mindfucked...that people this self absorbed and stupid exist. I was like...ok...you’re anxious this guy you’ve been speaking to for a few weeks won’t be interested in you? People won’t understand your disinterest in sex?? Like…idk man!!! I think the fear of being disowned or never spoken to again by people who are supposed to love you, or receiving violence, or being killed is maybe a BIT harder to overcome when coming out. So not really sure if coming out as a lesbian would be harder for you, either way you’d likely still be a fuckin idiot

 And even if she didn’t mean to sound so stupid, and only meant it’s harder to explain because it’s less known/theres less information on asexuality like... why would you say it in that way. Wasn’t the right way or place to say something like that. She was also arguing laster  to one of the girls who was the 2nd youngest, I think 23, who shared that her friend kept making homophobic jokes and she wanted to come out to him so that he knew he was hurting her but she just cut him out of her life, that maybe her friend didn’t know that he was being offensive and that sometimes its hard to NOT be offensive. At that point I was like... literally shut the fuck up and the girl was like…um yeah or maybe I just dont want him as a friend and everyone laughed. The two older women though were nodding with that asexual woman when she was speaking as if that were a valid point about offending people, which I think might be a generational thing about “political correctness” or not living as a gay person since they were young so maybe not experiencing/picking up on that type of micro aggressive homophobic behaviour  when growing up around young awful men but whatever.

The past two months just speaking to other gay women I’ve seen the pattern of people becoming comfortable with their sexuality if they're a homosexual woman when they’re older in comparison to heterosexual people or gay men. I’d also read about it online about how addressing you’re a gay woman often comes later because of how we’re socialised to deal with our feelings and frustrations towards men, so that stage of denial is often longer than with homosexual men. One of my lesbian friends at uni was talking about the difference between the gay men she knew and their sex lives and the lesbians she knew, like the majority of young lesbians that were her friends our age don't have any sexual experience.

Yeah it’s just been really sad and interesting, but I’m glad to know that I’m not strange or out of the normal which I was alway made to feel like I was. Not just by friends and family but by also the media I guess when showing young people and where you should be with romantic/sexual experience based on your age. I’ve also realised truly how fortunate i am to live in a place where there’s such a large/strong LGBTQ community. 

I think I’ll go again next time. I’m not sure many of the others will because that session might have put them off. It was really tense and uncomfortable at times, which was just the difficult subject of coming out I think. Also when i read The fun House by alison Bechdel she showed how she realised she was gay when she was also 19, and until then hadn't had any sort of sexual life. And I was kinda like ...? That’s not ? Just me? I didn't know that was normal because of where I grew up and who I grew up with. 

Also! The 23 year old girl was like pretty funny and was the only one in the group/trying to make people laugh and we live in the same suburb so we bussed back together and she was telling me about how she also feels lonely and isolated/doesnt like going out/ all her friends are straight and she’s too shy to go to her LGBTQ group at uni and she was like god I’m so awkward sorry for being awkward and i was like? you’re not you’re super funny wth and then she was like to me when we got off the bus, can I ask you an kinda cringe creepy question and I was like ya! ofc and it was so cute she was like “is there any possibility of us becoming friends?” and I was like :’’’’’’) so yeah we added each other on fb and we might be going rock climbing!!!

so yeah that was that experience I wanted to write down. and just some realisations i’ve been having . also my friend from uni and i are going to make a same sex attracted womens group! where we get together and watch/discuss  lesbian movies and media once a month or something or go to gay girls events, it will be like a side branch of the LGBTQ uni group that I was too scared to get involved with. anyway she’s coming over 2moro night so we can make a page and sort it. 

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *it's time to face the music... she said she'd talk to russet later, so here she is, later, dropping in at russet's place unannounced. maybe because she hopes she'll miss her to avoid doing this just a LITTLE bit longer... but ultimately she does want to, she's just scared. taking in a deep breath, she knocks on her sister's door.*

RUSSET: *No such luck Ryan, she happened to be home in her small little town house on her day off. She had been sipping tea and looking over her outline plan suggestions for the next Odimist fund raiser when she heard the knocking at her door. Mmm, it could be a few people really, but Russet had a bit of a hunch as she gets up from her table and goes to open the door.*

RUSSET: Oh hey =8I *She looks Ryan up and down.*

RYAN: hellooo... *says a little meekly and sheepishly* you busy?

RUSSET: Not really *She hesitates a moment before stepping aside.*

RUSSET: You wanna come in?

RYAN: yeah. *nods before she slowly starts to amble inside, looking around at the interior with interest and awe. russet must be doing well for herself...*

RYAN: i just wanted to... you know.

RYAN: follow up on what i said id do.

RYAN: and talk about... everything?

RUSSET: *Her etsy shop does do well to help fill out her bank account after her usual paychecks. Who knew so many people would want fridge cozies? The main room is rather minimalistic in design style, but just so you know her bathroom is space/galaxy themed.* Mm. Thats cool.

RUSSET: *Shuts the door behind the both of them.* I can reheat tea if you want any.

RYAN: yeah okay i could go for some tea i guess. *despite feeling antsy, she plops herself down on a couch or chair just so she's not standing around.*

RYAN: ... i like your place.

RUSSET: Thanks. *The couch is covered with pink and gray colored thick cableknit blankets, very soft and comfy. Russet briefly vanishes into the next room and a few minutes later she returns with two mugs, one being hers reheated, and another fresh cup for Ryan.*

RUSSET: *She wordlessly sets the mug in front of Ryan and then takes her on seat on the soft swivil chair to the right.*

RYAN: *by the time russet comes back, ryan is completely consumed by this fluffy cozy couch. but she can still reach out to grab her drink.* thaaanks...

RYAN: ...

RYAN: im not... super sure where to... start...

RUSSET: *She sighs over the top of her mug.* I guess I can start. Probably should say sorry for how I was being at the party. Wasn't really the place to hash this out anyways.

RYAN: *shrugs* i mean... its not unwarranted.

RYAN: i know it had to suck seeing me there before anything else.

RYAN: like not to throw a pity party for myself or nothing but i was just really stressed out about coming back.

RYAN: i thought if i just showed up at shindig itd be easier somehow? i guess i didnt expect to see you and finn AND jack all at the same time. the only thing that woulda made it more overwhelming was if dorian was there too. *wilts thinking about dorian... she really made an ass out of herself around him ages ago, and now he's nowhere to be found.*

RUSSET: *She too droops her shoulders at the mentions of Dorian. Why is their whole family troubled with disapearences?* Yeah well. You probably could have thought that through better yeah.

RUSSET: *Sips tea.* ...You said you're staying with dad?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i dont really know where else to go.

RUSSET: Im sure hes happy to have you around.

RYAN: ... i think hes still pissed at me. *sips also and keeps her mug close to her chest*

RUSSET: Well duh. A lot of people are gonna' be pissed. But even if he's mad hes got to be happy you're back home and safe and not gone with the wind.

RUSSET: Unless you plan to run away again. Not sure how well that might go over. *Sips at her.*

RYAN: *stares down at her mug* no...

RYAN: theres no point in me trying to leave again.

RYAN: there was no point to begin with.

RYAN: it was stupid...

RUSSET: Yeah. It was.

RUSSET: But you still did it.

RYAN: ... im sorry.

RUSSET: *She looks down into her cup, pulling her legs up into the chair with her so she can sit cross legged, and goes silent for several moments.* .............

RUSSET: Why did you do it?

RUSSET: Why did you run away again?

RYAN: i dont know i-- *draws in a sharp breath*

RYAN: it was so long ago now i barely even remember what was going through my head.

RYAN: of course i might remember it better if i hadnt completely fucking fried my brain lmao.

RYAN: *huffs another sigh* i just know i was like... overwhelmed...

RYAN: between jack and me... and with all my bullshit.

RYAN: i just know i wanted to hide from it.

RUSSET: *She listens, and tries to find ways to sympathize with Ryan. Her little sister did have a few problems, and Russet could wrap her mind around feeling overwhelmed by stuff, but running away for years? That was too much.*

RUSSET: You know there are other ways you could have handled it. Without ditching all of us.

RYAN: *eyes start watering. no... she's wearing mascara, she can't have this.* i know that... i know that /now./

RUSSET: *heavens not the mascara. See this is why Russet likes her circle shades, they do well to hide too much emotion.*

RUSSET: I guess at least you learned that much. *Produces a napkin and holds it out to Ryan.*

RYAN: *takes it* ... yeah. *she learned plenty more than that, but she doesn't want to make it seem like she's fishing for sympathy. she doesn't deserve that. she just tries to think of ways to update russet without it coming off that way.*

RYAN: i got into a lot of shit.

RYAN: i made a lot of mistakes.

RYAN: i had to go to rehab. *shrugs*

RYAN: thats why i came back.

RUSSET: Wait... What?? *Sits up more in her chair, frowning pretty harshly.*

RUSSET: Rehab?

RYAN: ... yeah. *dabs at her eyes with the napkin* i got really fucked up and this girl i was seeing made me go.

RYAN: and then she you know broke up with me.

RYAN: but again i dont blame her.

RUSSET: Thats...

RUSSET: Mm. Wow. Sorry I'm trying to like.

RUSSET: Form the right words to respond to that.

RUSSET: ......Thats rough, Ryan.

RUSSET: *Nailed it.*

RYAN: *shrugs* you dont have to say anything its fine. it is what it is.

RUSSET: Yeaaahhh but its still shitty. I mean, I'm mad at you but still thats difficult to go through.

RUSSET: Does your mom know?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i told her and dad first.

RUSSET: Thats good. I'm glad you told them.

RYAN: kinda have to tell people. you know... to reconcile and all that?? its all part of the program.

RYAN: but i want to anyway.

RUSSET: Oh. Well thats better then just coming back to complete the program.

RUSSET: .......I'm glad youre back. Even if it doesn't seem like it.

RYAN: *hearing that makes her eyes water more and her voice squeaks a little when she speaks* cool. yeah...

RYAN: im glad im back too.

RYAN: and i really...

RYAN: i really am... really sorry.

RUSSET: *Ryan you better not start crying, gdi. Russet is too much of a bleeding heart for this.* Thanks. I believe it.

RUSSET: I um... I dont know how long I'm going to be mad at you about this. I forgive you but also dont at the same time its really confusing. And its hard not to still feel hurt because until now I didn't have any idea why you ran away, and I didn't get to think about it too much because I felt like I had to pick up the pieces of everyone else, so I'm kind of bitter? *Says it like a question, shes figuring it out as she goes and just holds her mug closer to herself to feed off the warmth.*

RUSSET: I want us to be okay again, eventually. Because I thought we were getting to some sort of level of okay with each other until you ran off.

RYAN: yeah... i know i fucked it all up. *she's crying, she can't stop it now. she's bottled it up too long, and if there's one person she really feels guilty about, it's russet, for all the reasons she just mentioned.*

RYAN: i wanted things to get better... i was just--

RYAN: fuck...

RYAN: im just so sorry. i dont wanna be dumb or petty or awkward anymore.

RYAN: i missed you... i missed you nagging at me and i missed your cute little craft things and all your motherly lil habits.

RYAN: i didnt realize how much i needed people like that in my life to keep me grounded.

RUSSET: *Well heck. Shes turning a little orange now, a combination about Ryan saying all these nice things about her meddling, and then there is the whole choking back emotion because if Ryan is crying shes NOT going to cry. Because if they both start bawling it will never stop she knows it.*

RUSSET: Well shit. =B'I

RYAN: *wheezes out a watery laugh at that response.* i know... damn... really unexpected hearing ryan get all sappy.

RUSSET: *Nods and sniffles just a little.* It is. I think someone might have to pinch me to make sure this is real.

RYAN: would... a hug work?

RUSSET: *She thinks about it and then places her mug on the glass coffee table before opening her arms wide.*

RUSSET: Yes. =B''T

RYAN: *HHH she puts her mug down as well, wiggling out of this couch and then shuffling over to fit into her big sister's arms.*

RUSSET: *Wraps her arms around Ryan and gives her a big squeeze. This hug is pouring in the warmth and love of all the hugs she hasnt been able to give Ryan in years. Enjoy Russet's watery, emotional, bug chirps in your ear because its too much!!.*

RYAN: *the chirps are a comfort and she responds with more soft giggles. she sighs, relaxing into the hug and letting the warmth comfort her and convince her that things might finally start to be alright...*

RYAN: is it okay if i hang out here for a lil while...?

RUSSET: *She nods into Ryan's shoulder.* Mhm. I'm not doing anything today.

RYAN: okay cool cuz im gonna impose like hell for as long as i can get away with it. *pulls away, smiling softly as she flops back onto the couch*

RUSSET: *When she and Ryan part Russet breifly sneaks a finger under her glasses to wipe at her misty eyes.* Fine by me. But you shouldnt stay too long past dark unless you are getting a ride somewhere.

RYAN: *she's gotta dab at her eyes some more too...* yeah okay that can be arranged. *AND SO she gets settled in, drinking tea and catching up on some of the more positive things that have happened.*