#its kinda bittersweet

[mylittlesecrethaven]

It's Strange To Think I've Been In The GT Fandom Since Film Theory Started (Even Though I Didn't Start Watching Film Theory Until Later) And That I've Seen Every Video Of Food And Style Theory Since They Started, And That I was Around For MatPat's Retirement

[sungam-supo]

Just got done reading the last TF2 comic.

I'll be real, I dunno how to feel about it.

Think fast, chucklenuts. Spoilers below.

Now I think the reason why I feel mixed to the whole thing could possibly stem from me currently not being actively into TF2 at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'll always love the series. It has brought so much joy into my life. It helped create so many treasured memories. I met so many wonderful people, some that I'm still friends with to this day. However, I sort of fell off due to multiple reasons. Life, lack of updates, community bs, the bot problem. Not to mention the bitter sweet memories. The painful reminders of stuff I don't think I can fully talk about here.

This game and the goofy lore that came with it has been one of my biggest hyper fixations for almost 15 years.

Anyways, the comic was not quite what I expected, but in a good way. Sort of. I'll admit I wasn't big on some of the outcomes for certain characters. The art was amazing, as usual. Some really good visuals. I loved the multiple issue covers, hinting at just how scrambled a particular character's memory had become.

I don't have the spoons to cover everything from the comic, so here are some loose thoughts on random sections:

The beginning sort of gave away that everything was gonna be fine (for most of the cast), by revealing a time skip. I know the whole issue all over the place to keep the reader guessing, but it did get a little old at points.

Not surprised that Soldier had kids. Also it ain't a tf2 comic without him getting completely naked for seemingly no reason at all.

Scout having kids was a bit more surprising. Very wholesome though. The way he's stepping up as a single dad is so cute.

Oh right... Spy face reveal. It was fine. He looks like the fan made maskless spy model that has been around for years. Guess they didn't want to rock the boat with the fan interpretations?

Scout and Pauling did not hook up. I'm honestly glad, as I felt they worked better as just friends.

Glad that there was no Pyro unmasking and/or gender reveal. They are a fire starting enigma, better keep it that way. The fandom would not survive otherwise.

Heavy looked hot with a beard. No further notes.

Really upset that both Demoman and Medic barely said/did a thing this issue. I know Medic had a lot of character moments in previous comics, so I can sort of let that slide. But my man, Demo? They did him so dirty. We don't even get any hints as to what they got up to after the time skip (granted its like that with most of the mercs). Never a good day when your faves do literally nothing.

Same could be said for Sniper, although his arc was more about finding his real parents (then regretting that decision).

Good on Engineer for ending the cycle.

Good on Pauling for ending (allegedly?) a cycle also.

Gonna get blasted for this, however- I was kinda bored with Saxton's sections. Yeah, it was important to see how his arc ended (predictably at that), I'll admit that at least.

I think they literally forgot about Olivia. Like, for real, forgot that she was a character. Her "story" was such an afterthought.

Helen girl bossed a little too close to the sun and I was there for it.

We got to spend christmas with the mercs. Best wall break ever.

Alright, I can't just sum up my feelings on the biggest reveal in bullet points.

It was fine. Almost fitting in a sense.

I was honestly a bit mixed on Helen's "motives". Mainly because she literally forgot why she did everything. Yeah obviously she was getting revenge for something. The whole lore of TF2 has been building up to this moment. When it is revealed that she's been doing everything just to spite one man, yet in the end, loses her way.

I know it is implied she did it to avenge her family (mainly parents). The variations of the cover art hint that even she cannot remember how it happened, or if it even happened at all. Hate and grief can mess with a person's head in many ways, yet there is also the fact that she's lived for many years. You know how humans aren't naturally immortal? Mainly our brains would not be able to retain every memory in detail. If a person lived for centuries, they could forget a lot of important stuff about themselves, including things like family, partners, achievements, heck... even their own names. So it is not out of the realm of possibility that Helen has truly forgotten as to why she started all of this.

That or the writers were scared that nothing they could come up with would be satisfying enough for the community.

The reason why I find this fitting, is mainly from when Engineer tells Pauling that this was all for nothing.

Because from the start, TF2 barely had anything. It was never planned nor expected for it to get to this point. At launch it almost expected to be like every other FPS that was out at the time. It had no story. Hardly any characters to speak of. Yet despite all odds, there was something that most players found charming that they kept playing. Eventually forming a strong community that created and shared thoughts, ideas and theories on who the mercs are. Valve was more than happy, yet overwhelmed with this response, as even they've mentioned that none of them expected things to develop the way they have.

So in a way, it feels to me like the writers were saying that it was honestly never meant to be deep. TF2 has hardly taken itself seriously since day one. Valve literally never thought they'd get this far. Perhaps they never had a true ending in mind, but attempted something as a way of thanks.

And I'm more than alright with that.

I know it seemed like I picked at certain bits, but honestly, I was satisfied with what we got in the end (least we got it period). This was not on my 2024 bingo card at all. I still love this game, even though I don't play it anymore (and possibly never will again). TF2 has been my longest surviving fixation and I know I have a lot to thank it for.

I think I've exhausted all of my spoons. So sorry for the rambling. Ima end it here, aha.

[mienar]

at the artist's loft

instagram | shop | commission info

[lowkeyren]

FACE ECONOMY????

vilhem richard did you know u saved people's lives with that face

[chidoroki]

January 15th - Happy Birthday Ray - ft: his tvtropes

[emotionally-drained-pauling]

man, i love my early posts :,)

Maaan,, bees're soooo friendly. An' nice. They're jus' lil' guys, y'knoe ?? @emotionally-resilient-sniper was jus' tellin' me aboot em', an aye think I luv bees eeeeven more now

[skullzy20]

Was listening to rabbit hole on repeat like an insane person and next thing I knew I doodled him

[dykedvonte]

I like to think in the P.E au that Anya and Curly specifically get haunted hard by Jimmy's weird reality crossing guilt manifested.

It's targeting them because Jimmy's guilt grows more around them. The idea of him acting and playing nice despite what he did. It's like a buffet that allows it to pick from their plates.

Anya sees this stagnant version of her, blood from her mouth, clutching her stomach with a bottle of pills in her other hand. She's talking about not being heard, a pixel, relief from a burden. She tries to ask a question and it's never the right one. She's not understanding but in a way, she's getting that this version of her is in pain. She tries to help, extends a hand and asks how she can help, stop it. She stares and there's utter despair and disappointment in her eyes.

What did you do?

Curly sees this burnt mangled thing. But he can't call it that. Even with no skin and chipping teeth, covered in sullied bandages and smelling of death overdue, he can see his face. He can recognized that eye, he stares at it a lot in the mirror, usually a second one is attached but he digresses. They are just watching, staring and unmoving. He asks himself what happened, how can he help and his own retched mangled voice comes out from a empty maw.

I told you.

They have no idea what it really means. They don't know who to tell. Flashes of a life they don't know or maybe a future they haven't lived yet. Perhaps they treat it as their own minds trying to tell them something. They bare that burden themselves and that alone makes it heavier. Plumper. More appetizing to the guilt causing it.

Tragically that guilt is not their own.

[autiwara]

Genuinely feel crazy whenever I get a new hyperfixation but it is what it is I can't wait to go back to uni and try my damnest not to bring yakuza up into every single conversation with my friends and then fail miserably every time and then feel bad about it at home! 👍

[applecore6]

cw: use of she/her, vent, reader just does not feel good, kinda sucky

“Hey”

“Hi”

“…Are you okay?”

Stupid. What a stupid thing to ask. The life looked sucked out of her, and her undereyes were shades darker than her actual skin tone. Of course she wasn’t okay, but he’d only hope she’d answer the question truthfully. He was desperate for any answer. Seeing her like this pulled at his heart. It made him feel useless.

“No.” thank god.

“Why is that?“

“I don’t know. I want to scream at you, and start an argument for no reason at all.”

“Then scream at me.”

“No. There’s definitely better ways to go about what I’m feeling I just…”

He doesn’t say anything after that, just takes a seat in the spot next to her. They sit in silence. To her, it seems like forever, but it’s only been a couple seconds.

Her brain’s pumping out thoughts faster than what she can process. God. Where does she even start. All she wants to do is blow up. Make him see her how she sees herself. Make him hate her, despise her even.

She feels sick. Disgusting. Her stomach’s wrenching, and all she wants to do is throw up her insides just as proof that there’s something inside her.

“I haven’t been feeling the best.. if it wasn’t obvious. I don’t know what it is. Actually I do know, but it’s just so much I feel like I’ll overload your brain and you’ll explode right in front of me.”

“Well, I’m not sure if you know how bodies work, but I definitely won’t explode,” he laughs out.

That sound puts her at ease. Just a little. She stares blankly at the ground in front of her. She wants tears to come out, just to be melodramatic, but as expected, they don’t.

“I’m just.. horrible.”

Yeah. That’s it. That’s the best way she can put it.

“What makes you so horrible than anyone else?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t called my grandma in ages. I’m pretty sure my family thinks I’m dead given how much I interact with them. I’m not exactly the best friend a person can have. I don’t know I’m just horrible.”

“Yeah sounds like you’re the worst person in the world huh. You should be put in jail.”

She laughs a little at that. Yeah she should.

“You’re being way too hard on yourself you know. I think you’re great. I don’t think I’ve met anyone greater than you.”

“I know right, I’m awesome.”

He rolls his eyes at her interruption. There isn’t much after that.

She leans back on the uncomfortable bench she’s sitting on, the strain of her back against the hard wood feels good in the moment. She relishes in his compliment, and pretends like she’s not going to feel the same tomorrow. Right now she chooses not to think about it, instead she cranes her neck up at the sky and allows herself to just breathe.

He mirrors her position, and pretends like there wasn’t more to say. Like his brain wasn’t overflowing with more things he loved about her.

It’s just the two of them. The things they want to say linger in the air, but right now it’s just them.

[jer-artspat]

some assorted art of My Little Guys

[ahamkara-apologist]

...aaand what took months to years for fanboys and in-universe characters alike to reconcile that Crow =/= Uldren and was not responsible for his sins (including Crow himself), Cayde got done in under a minute. Figures.

[schneezburger]

Memory

[cephydeluxe]

i dressed my drow durge in gortash's sweaty ass coat and teehee'd so hard i think I shattered glass

[daydreamycrustacean]

i love how before the stream happened people were like "hey hlvrai fandom can we promise to act normal this time" and then The Stream happened and I watched in real time as the hlvrai tag devolved into insane discourse and harassment. peace was never an option.

[starheirxero]

Someone made eyes on my "Thiollier and St. Trina from Elden Ring make me think of tsams blorbos" post and it's been vaguely marinating in my brain so I wanna elaborate LOL

I think the closest characters to these two is probably Lord Lunar and Servant Eclipse, with Lord Lunar being St. Trina and Servant Eclipse being Thiollier. Another comparison to this vibe is Null and The Atlas from No Mans Sky, but if none of these words mean anything to you, I'm essentially saying: The vibe presented here is someone who utterly worships a being of make greater importance than themselves, but this higher entity seemingly doesn't care for them, or at least just doesn't want to "talk" to them specifically.

A notable component too, though, is that the higher entity doesn't speak in a typical way. St. Trina only speaks after you've fallen into an "eternal slumber" and The Atlas can only eldritch madness beam someone into maybe comprehending its feelings. The characters that worship them either never hear their voice or are abruptly unable to contact them in some way, which very much upsets them due to how deeply they worship the being.

So the vibe with Lord Lunar and Servant Eclipse here would be something like... vague hand motions. A Lord Lunar whose body has been broken down to near nothingness from the star. Pieces of broken plastic and frayed wires and useless components float where they used to be, held only in place by the will of the star still keeping the "outline" of their form. They cannot move. They cannot speak.

And Servant Eclipse who keeps his servant role, who still kneels at their immobile body, who doesn't ever stray far from their side because what else is he meant to do? There is no one else. It's just them, and he will sit there until the last of the floor underneath them finally crumbles away to the natural decay of the universe. He will speak to them, and they cannot speak back. He knows why they can't, but he'll still demand it of them—he isn't even sure if he remembers their voice anymore. The silence afterwards feels louder.

And maybe Lunar still speaks in other ways like The Atlas does—maybe the wind will blow a little harder or maybe the temperature will change a little or maybe something about the visible star power shifts and ripples, vaguely aware of their surroundings and Eclipse beside them—but it's just as likely that Lunar is too battered to even do that. Honestly, I'm more fond of the idea of them both just laying down in the grass, side-by-side, staring at the sky as a world-eater rumbles beneath them and takes away the last bit of ground they had, and that's that. Yea it's lowkey depressing as hell but I like it a lot okay..........