#its kinda a downer

[tommy-shut-up-challenge]

I need to talk about my perspective because i see this take all over for years and its been frustrating to watch. disclaimer: i have one disability that makes math hard (among other things, but my focus will be on math classes) and one that affects my cognitive functioning. The cognitive one is more recent and makes the learning one more difficult. If I made a spelling or grammar error that makes this hard to read please tell me. I have issues typing and spelling and spell check only does so much.

This is all to answer your question of "why would you want that word in particular?"

So some background. I have a disorder that meant always missing lunch to finish math tests and using a calculator when other students couldn't in later years. My peers noticed, ofc. And tweens/teens are vicious, so i got bullied for being 'stupid,' slow,' and r-word. The slur is the one they liked the best. More taboo ig.

Yeah. The rword means slow, stupid, and all the other words you used. But, and I'm not blaming you for anything here because I used to think like this too, slow and stupid aren't insults. or at least they shouldn't be. When viewing being slow as an insult you also imply it is inferior in some way. That is ableism, and it's so common in our world that people don't even realise it.

The words stupid and dumb also come from the same place, although the meaning has changed enough it's not even remotely as offensive. That's a different conversation that is a lot more complex tho.

you state "with like fag or whatever that at least is referring to your actual identity... the rslur [is] attacking how someone behaves or comes off to others more than what they actually are" I have a disorder that makes me slower at calculations than my peers. I AM slow. That's a part of who I actually am. it's not what I come off as or behave as. My disabilities are just as much a part of my identity as my status as a trans person. Another product of the unnoticed ableism in our world is people not seeing disability as a part of the person who has it and more like baggage they pack around. (See: autistic person vs. person with autism argument.)

I am slow, I am dimwitted, and I am retarded. There is not morality to assign to it, and none of those words should be insults. I am not less for being slow. Stating facts about who I am is not self-depreciation or insulting. I should not have grown up in a world that allowed descriptions of the way my brain works (slowly) to be insulting, but I did so I turned them into labels.

And it did a phenomenal job of protecting me since it took away the words people used to hurt me.

i will honestly never understand the urge to reclaim the r slur like . it’s got the fucking ooze on it why would you want to even touch that

[mafuyuakgae]

even if I came to love humanity in the end, there’s no proof I was ever here, right?

[spooked-skull-studios]

i never want to post my Protocol theories here because im so scared it'll get disproven and someone in the future will make a "looking back at wrong theories" and mine'll be there

bc i know there are vids like this on Archives and im not bashing them they're really fun to look at but my paranoia gets so bad that if that did happen then i feel and maybe even know (?) that my social anxiety would absolutely ruin me. i know its a really stupid fear (ha) but its just a shame that i cant get past the block of anxiety about how people would perceive me if that happened :[

[cloudcountry]

i think i may have created way to much pressure on myself when i tell people to send stuff that theyve tagged me in that i've missed. like yes i'd love to be able to read everything you guys send me but im gone most of the day now and its just not possible anymore. it kinda makes me sad because ive probably missed out on so much because of the sheer amount of things in my mentions.

[skyward-floored]

Another word game: Shattered (Yes I'm choosing words that would most likely lead to downer plots on purpose, it's just a mood)

Cobwebs brushed at Twilight's hair and caught on his sword as he and Four made their way through the dungeon, the light from their lanterns casting unnerving shadows along the walls.

Four suddenly gasped and stumbled backwards, enough that Twilight had to stop him from falling over, and as he caught the smithy and looked to see what had startled him, his own breath caught in his throat.

A shattered mirror stood across the room, glass still trapped in its warped frame, and as Twilight stared at it, a flash of orange hair caught his eye.

[0809sysblings]

new drinking game: go into the comment section of MeMe and/or John Doe and take a shot every time you see a comment that includes at least one of these things

Mikoto doesn't have DID, he just [insert symptom of DID]

"split personality"

Mikoto doesn't have DID, he is faking

"manipulator"

"serial killer"

Mikoto created his alter

"violent alter"

"evil alter"

Mikoto doesn't have DID, everything is supposed to be symbolic

[insert condescending remark about how guilty he is]

guaranteed alcohol poisoning

[dailydegurechaff]

You don't have to reply to this, but I am very happy to stumble across a non-problematic Youjo Senki fanpage. 💖

Thank you very much!! I'll continue to do my best!

[unauthorized-author]

I see all over Warriors media people celebrating Frostdawn killing Splashtail and, for me (in my opinion (scary I know))... why the fuck did Frostdawn kill Splashtail? I get it was for empowerment or whatever, to symbolize that she was overcoming the abuse and manipulation he put her through, but like... symbolization means jackshit when the reality is Frostdawn would've been fucking dead lmfao.

She trained for a medicine cat for a majority of her life (and still ended up as a med cat by the end of the arc) and trained as a warrior for VERY MINIMALLY under Harelight and what training we did see on the page, she struggled. Splashtail, on the other hand, has been a warrior since River. SPLASHTAIL LITERALLY KILLED HER MENTOR IN ONE HIT?? Splashtail fucking slashed Harelight's throat or something and he died. You could argue that they made Splashtail overpowered or that Splashtail wouldn't reasonably be able to do that since he's still like a year old, OR that Splashtail caught Harelight off-guard, but the fact is that it happened. And with that last point, it shows that Splashtail knows how to take advantage of an opportunity. The reason Frostdawn won is because Harelight spoke to her from StarClan or something telling her how to fight.

IF THAT ISN'T THE MOST BULLSHITTY-

Even with the dead cat coaching, Frostdawn STILL nearly died from her wounds from her fight with Splashtail. She spent like half of the book dead/in limbo until she was sung back to life (Tree I hate you). Like, Squilf didn't have to confront Ashfur and kill him, even though she maybe could; I don't power scale these cats. The symbolism of THAT was so much better: you don't have to confront your abuser head-on to move forward. Squilf wasn't involved in the final battle against Ashfur at all, and I LOVED it because his goal was to hurt her and Graystripe was right, "Stay home in camp, don't show him that he won." (something like that, I forgot what exactly he said) And Squilf moved on without stepping a single paw near that battle. Why did Frostdawn have to kill Splashtail? She's already dealing with enough shit from Curlfeather? Curlfeather was literally grooming Frostdawn to be a med cat her entire life, died the first book in ASC, and Frostdawn was dealing with the fallout and trust issues that it gave her upon learning Curlfeather used and manipulated her. Sure, Frostdawn and Squilf's situations are vastly different, but the message could've still been the same: you don't NEED to confront your abuser head-on to move forward. Hell, even SHADOWSIGHT didn't really fight Ashfur. I personally think it would've been cool as shit if Frostdawn had tried to kill Splashtail because her emotions were running high. She's been through a lot in ASC, like getting exiled, nearly being killed like three times, etc. And she has grown from the meek people-pleaser she was as Frostpaw at the beginning of the arc. But she's still just a cat at the end of the day y'know? One that has trained as a med cat for her entire life, and one that was missing from the Clans for most of the arc. So she might attack Splashtail in fury or something, BUT he's still the more experienced one out of the two of them, so it could be a fake-out of a conclusion. Frostdawn's the protag, she should kill Splashtail, yada yada- NO. She nearly dies bc she was impulsive when she was literally taught how to meditate or something by the Park Cats (my memory is really shitty).

Someone else probably kills Splashtail, and I personally don't think that takes away from Frostdawn's arc in ASC. The cold hard reality is that sometimes the abuser IS bigger than you, but the light in said reality is that there are people who can help you. I think that'd be really neat if Frostdawn came to this conclusion while she was in StarClan for the latter half of Star. She CHOOSES to come back (and not get sang back to life wtf) because she wants to help RiverClan because they have helped her. Literally saved her life from being murdered by Splashtail.

AND Frostdawn was also distrusting of everyone for a good chunk of ASC (I personally think it should've been longer but whatever) because of her trauma with Curlfeather manipulating her and Splashtail, the cat she had previously looked up to in the beginning and even wanted to be mates with, being SO cruel.

[slutdge]

preparing for my 48 hour bender to make christmas eve and day mildly tolerable so i dont kill myself

[dexaroth]

daron's ref plus a sketch icon! i was gonna hold these off until i finished their page but im impatient :3

[ekuns]

feeling bleh about something that happened on stream...

[powpowpunchout]

Minor update!!

So Tumblr’s dashboard has changed drastically and it’s a nightmare for me to look at and use LOL

I’ve also been getting some weird errors on Tumblr that have never happened before? Every other thing I click on results in the page crashing, and it’s getting real pesky.

I’m probably gonna be taking a step back and wait for Tumblr to [hopefully] fix these issues, or at least make the Dashboard less cluttered. I don’t want to risk trying to post something, answer an ask, or upload chapters only for Tumblr to break again RIP

Hopefully things get patched up soon!! But just wanted to give a heads up that I’ll be pretty inactive for a lil while!

[miscelliteeous]

14/31 I was looking forward to Dark Harvest and its so good at first, and while I haven't read the book yet I read spoilers and to be honest the ending of the movie just REALLY not good compared to the book one, like its such a major letdown and anticlimatic, it ruins the movie for me.

[thecherrygod]

I need to find a way to make my words actually mean what I say

[megalophobic-astronomer]

sorry for giving up so early this year. i said id do an attack once every three days max and i have done Six. i didnt really give up i kinda just only like revenging lol and i havent been attacked since the beginning

[applejuiceaddictyo]

yo is it too much to ask to be loved?