#its kind of a vent? bro idk

[bunnihearted]

i just find it kinda interesting how i get plenty of mean anons when i simply vent abt being in love w someone who's w someone else???? i've never gotten as many weird condescending and mean asks as i have venting abt this situation..... like honestly that is kinda fkn weird 💀 esp since it's one of the most normal things in life and like idk i just think it's weird that ppl see me sad abt having love for someone that cant go anywhere more and ppl are like "omfg i cant take this i have to be cruel to this stranger i dont even know just bc they're sad abt being unhappily in love". like fr wtf is wrong w some ppl... how is this anyone's business... 💀

[eggbagelz]

If you see this no you don't

[thesadboisguidetolife]

.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Disclaimer: please please please please please please please please please please please please please please don't read this.

Actual disclaimer: CW/TW for abusive/toxic relationships and most of the things they entail. Mentions of mental, physical, and financial abuse. If you don't like any of that stuff, PLEASE don't read this.

Also, this is long. Idk...I think about toxic ships a lot 🫠

Most of these are just reflections of the characters themselves but there's some stuff in here from my last relationship.

Just to clarify, I don't see the characters as this bad, this is just for fun/venting purposes, I'm not condoning this behavior irl... It's just some thoughts I had about some of their toxic behaviors and if they were already older. I'm not saying any of them would do this in canon 🤡👍🏽 Unless their morals dropped dramatically for some reason idk

(I was groomed at age 11-12 by somebody 12 years older than me for 6 years so I think I have some experience in the toxic relationship department lol)

Aidlyn relationship HCs if they were even more of a hot mess wowie

-Most of these are just like. Red flags they have that have been amplified to the max. Like how I say Aiden getting Ash expensive gifts isn't necessarily a bad thing, but here it reaches a toxic level. Like Aiden getting Ash things so expensive she can't hope to pay him back, or things that have to do with her livelihood (a car, renting an apartment, etc etc). Then he'll be like guilt tripping her that they spent all this money on you when she literally didn't ask bro. Wants to scream at him to take it back but like...she needs it tho so she's gonna shut up...

-Its really easy to make Aiden toxic cuz like he already has some behavioural problems haha 🫠

-Lowkey Ash is the type to rip Aiden a new one when her patience snaps. She has so much she wants to get into (pushing her boundaries, being an idiot, giving her a heart attack from stress, "ruining her life" if she's really over everything)

-He would threaten or actually go through with SH for her attention 🫠 pain doesn't really mean anything for him, it hurts worse when she leaves anyways... (SO glad I'm over that)

-She ignores/avoids him for long periods of time without actually telling him what's wrong because fuck it communicating is hard and like why even bother because she thinks he won't listen anyways (GIRL you have to ACTUALLY say smth)

-But I mean who can blame her cuz Aiden is real into that toxic positivity crap and likes to ignore all the problems in the relationship and tells everybody that everything is great (she does too don't worry) (worry.)

-Shes a bit of a hypocrite sometimes cuz she likes to ignore Aiden when he's getting on her nerves but she can't take it if HE'S ignoring her for once. She says she's just suspicious of what he's doing but. You know. Not that he would leave her but like if he did try she would. Not take it very well?? Aiden would be impressed.

-he's kind of. Weird. I don't really know how to explain it he just has like. A Weird Aura. Around her especially. Says weird things, sometimes inappropriate or threatening. But Ash literally feels like she's going crazy because he's ALWAYS like that so she can't tell that it's not normal or if he's just. Weird.

-They're the kind of couple to bruise each other's wrists ♥️ /sarcasm

-He'll push her boundaries and ignore her a lot because like he doesn't understand that she's being serious and that not everybody likes the things he likes. Grabs and touches and holds her a lot even when she doesn't want him too. Sometimes she goes along tho because she thinks it's not normal to dislike touching in a relationship or that she just needs to put in more effort (I'm projecting so hard rn) Also thanks to my bestie for this one! She's so smart

-Both possessive and overprotective little freaks. I feel like Ash would kill somebody for him and then she'd just fucking spiral and have a mental breakdown and the love-hate relationship would get worse, and if Aiden did it he'd just be "lol. Lmao."

-Loss of identity and self for both of them. Aiden has that disciple complex and his life pretty much revolves around Ash. Ash feels like she fell down a rabbit hole....

-he has no sense of consequences, his self destructive behaviors would be WAY worse here and can include Ash at the same time (like going over the speed limit while they're both in the car)

-but also she like lowkey enables his behavior because she knows that to stop it she'd have to leave him and she doesn't want to be without him. She definitely excuses his behavior to other people even tho she'll get on his ass about it-

-bit stalkerish and follows her around, she knows he's doing it tho- but yeah he won't leave her alone most of the time 🫠

-She goes into nervous breakdowns. Starts throwing stuff at him and when he gets closer she'll hit him, and he just holds her until she tires herself out.

-Oh man, he's pretty much addicted to her. She saved him, breathed life into his existence, made him feel alive for the first time in years, and what a euphoric feeling that is for him.

-Ash feels like she has to walk on eggshells around him because she doesn't understand what sets him off. She's generally more worried about him doing something to other people or himself than her own safety tho.

-They're really awful for each other but like. There's really nobody else for them, they just have to not get other people involved in the forest fire that is their relationship (The rest of the gang: 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️)

-Aiden and Ash: *literally just standing next to each other*

Aiden: *Looks at Ash*

Ash: ...?

Aiden: *Predator instinct* :) *Bites her cheek*

Ash: !!! MOTHERFU-

That's the relationship basically.

[moonlight--magician]

gundam live blog ep 9

episode 9 notes: I wonder if the op will change with the years of watching or will it count as one season idk I still call BS on humanity being horrified for their own actions. It’s humanity. Haro is so cute. Amuro why are you laying down like that even if you’re tired why you’re depressed stop laying down so cuntily 😭 I wonder if he swallowed his nail before bro rlly just left them there like “help yourselves”why are the children stealing whole ass tomatoes will they eat them whole is he ab to punch an old man for stealing a kids food he’s eating a whole ass tomato no he’s not exhausted HES TRAUMATIZED omg Garmas whole suit is just purple and yellow wait that outfit makes him look twinky more than usual I swear if he shows up in this pretentious ass mobile suit why is bro venting to fraw how long was he yapping no you can’t sleep soundly after murdering people in a war at 15 years old!! He won’t do anything bc he’s gaining mental illness!!! WHY DID HE SLAP HIM HE NEEDS THERAPY ITS EVEN PURPLE THERES no way he won’t get PTSD HE HIT HIM AGAIN “not even my father got me!!” “So that’s why you’re weak!” damn why is everyone scolding him instead of getting him therapy!! He. Needs. Therapy. DONT DO IT ONLY BC FRAW SAID SO DONT GET TRAUMATIZED FOR THAT WOMAN ik garma is in yellow bc of color wheel and color theory etc but I don’t like the yellow with the orange seatbelts he probably wasn’t thinking about how to fight when sulking out of free will Fraw. Bro wasn’t looking where he was going. Wait who even is that? As I said earlier with Garma the yellow is great in moderation not as a main color in the palate as his suit is sh her names Matilda she looks like a Matilda acc what kind of regulations are these uniforms even under

[selfindulgentsillinessbracket]

A Huge Update Post!!!!!!

Hi everyone, @thattoastygecko (your moderator) here. It is me.

This bracket has been quiet recently but now it is time to resume it. But I have a buncha changes to make bc let's face it, this bracket? It's an unorganized mess lmao

Congrats to our last winners!

Also I was thinking of going back to doing 2 groups of contestants at a time again, y'know 8 votes at once. Because let's face it this bracket is huge & honestly some of the entrants I kiiiind of wish I didn't put in.

Example of what I mean: Hanamusa. Don't get me wrong I love that ship, they've brought me so much comfort. But honestly they got like 600 votes. & Something about seeing them bring in THAT MUCH ATTENTION but none of the other polls got anywhere close to that kind of attention & knowing they'll probably just completely sweep the entire thing makes me think putting them in was not a great move. If only because it's gonna be super unfair & also makes me a bit sad that none of the other parts of the bracket are gonna get that much attention. I SWEAR IF I EVER TOOK THEM OUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE I HATE THEM IM HAPPY IF THEY WIN ITS JUST

seeing the rest of the poll get ignored so hard in comparison just makes me sad bc i feel like it means i did a crummy job on the rest of the tournament when it doesnt involve them, it's entirely my fault & just how my brain is, so pls understand that

But ultimately I am gonna avoid doing this, because I also don't wanna remove anyone. I mean if any character is in this poll, its because they damn well earned the right to be in this poll. They all mean something to me even if its just very very barebones like "they look cool"

I mean I put my own OCs in this fucking poll ffs & I know all of those guys are probably gonna lose. I love Oddworld but that series is obscure & I know they won't win.

LOOK AT POOR BLINX. I LOVE BLINX BUT LETS FACE IT YOU GUYS PROBABLY DONT KNOW WHO THIS IS & HES PROBABLY NOT GONNA WIN THIS NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WANT HIM TO.

Please pray for this poor cat guys, he's gonna need it. Because he's struggled to get the love he damn well deserves & by god I want him to win at least one match on this poll. He deserves at least that much.

I'm gonna try to not remove them tho bc I would feel bad if I did too, bc it's my fault for not realizing how immediatley biased this site is gonna be in their favor. I think it's just on me for not thinking that through, but I promise you guys

I PROMISE YOU AINT GONNA BE LIKE THE MODERATOR FOR THAT SAPPHIC SHIPS BRACKET THAT CANCELLED THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE THEY WERE WINNING & THEY WERE IDK SALTY OR WHATEVER???? LIKE OK BRO BUT IF YOU DIDNT WANT THEM TO WIN YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN BUT IM AT LEAST ADMITTING ITS MY FAULT FOR PUTTING THEM IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE KNOWING HOW BIASED IT WAS GONNA BE GIVEN ALL THE CONTEXT BEHIND WHAT THE SHIP WAS BUILT WITH. Aka being kickstarted by a well known popular storyboard artist with a big following & being yknow on here of all sites and etc. Like yeah it's gonna instantly be a landslide in their favor to some degree. It's like putting Rise Donatello in this bracket & being angry when he is gonna start sweeping too. Because we all know Donnie is gonna be winning several rounds at least. I know he will. & I love Rise Donnie so I'm okay with it. Donnie Nation strong. I AINT GONNA BE A BITCH LIKE THAT OTHER POLL THO NO MATTER WHAT. Like No I aint gonna cancel the whole bracket over them, if Delia & Jessie win? Fuck it I mean I put them here I knew it was gonna end up this way the second they were in the limelight. But no matter what happens I ain't gonna disqualify them for existing. I guess it's more just the fact that they got so much more attention & I cvan't help but put myself down for it.

I just kinda wanted to vent about it a bit because I was being overly mean to myself & I know it's just my brain being a jerk. So I'm gonna keep my spirits up

Also I mean heck the attention picked up a bit. Rayman fans apparently felt seen in my statements so thanks rayman nation for that. I too am salty about ubisofts treatment. Speaking of:

Thanks to your votes: MURFY IS BEING PUT IN THE BRACKET!!!

AND THANKS TO ANOTHER BONUS

MIKU IS BACK!! & After discussing it with some friends in group chats, they told me I should team her up with one of my OCs. So I went with my MAIN OC ZOEY!!

Speaking of Zoey:

1. My blog @thornsboroughcomic is a thing Zoey is the protag also thanks for voting her it means a lot to me I cried a few times ngl

2

ZOEY GOT A FULL REDESIGN A BIT AGO: Behold Zoey's current design. :]

And now Hatsune Miku has been brought back from elimination after you guys voted her to come back!! And Zoey is a huge Miku stan so she's very excited to team up with her.

And while I'm here: I'm gonna reveal to you guys some of the new contestants entering the bracket!!

I might also consider bringing back more old contestants who got eliminated via voting & maybe I'll start having team ups happen periodically that you guys vote on. I want this bracket to be just, I'm gonna embrace what a total mess it is. It's unorganized, chaotic & nonsensical & I think we just gotta embrace the pure chaos of it all. So that's what we're gonna do!!

A FEW OF THE MANY NEW CONTESTANTS COMING IN!!

[pastelpousay]

I’m so sick of everyone (kinda rant/vent to be deleted)

BRO ISTG THIS WEEK EVERYTIME SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS THEN IT GOED RIGHT BACK TO BAD. LIKE LITERALLY EARLIER I THOUGHT I FUCKED UP N SHIT AND THEN AFTER I GET AN AMAZING SUPRISE!! 💗 AFTER THAT THERE COMES THE ANON AND THEN I GET SOME SUPER SWEET MESSAGES FROM PPL BUT LIKE

I DOTM EVEN WANNA SAY WHAT THIS IS ABOUT LIKE I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE AND THINK OF MY FRIEND LIKE AND BE KIND ONLY TO BE CALLED SELFISH LIKE WHAT. IDEK THIS PERSON IRL IDK WHY I GIVE A DAMN THEY DONT WVEN CARE ABOUT ME THEY ONLY WANNA TALK TO ME ABOUT THEIR SHIT LIKE DUDE I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUU, FUCK YOU. HOW ARE YOU GONNA TREAT ME LIKE SOME TOXIC FRIEND MEANWHILE ITS NOT EVEN THAT DEEP. IM NOT GONNA FIGHT OVER PIXELS I WAS LITERALLY JUST GOING TO HIDE IT IVE ALREADY BEEN LYING ALL THIS TIME WHAT DOES IT MATTER 💀😭

“You should probably try and let go again” FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF IM NOT DOING WHAT YOU SAY IM NOT A FUCKIN SUCK UP I DONT KNOW I FEEL LIKE THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME BUT LIKE WHAT LIKE WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ME, WHY ARE YOU MAD I LIKE A CHARACTER WHATS?? WRONG WITH MY ART?? SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I LIKE THE SAME CHARACTER AS YOU!! UR SUCH A PICKY BITCH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHERED WITH YOU I WAS PUTTING OFF EVEN INTERACTING WITH YOU CIZ I ALREADY KNEW IT WASNT GONNA GO GOOD THATS WHY I DIDNT WANT TO I SHOULDVE LEFT YOU ALONE BUT IM TO NICE APPARENTLY WHY AM I THE BAD GUY HERE WHY AM I THE BETRAYER (I get it from my man 💙)

I don’t get it I don’t get it it wasn’t even that deep why do I have to do something every time something might go south. ME it’s always me having to do something and never anyone else

Tomorrow I will stop interacting with that mf tomorrow I’m going to block you. DUD IM NOT A STEPPING STONE IM A REAL PERSON WITH FEELINGS I EVEN IF I AM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCREEN. STOP TREATING ME LIKE IM A SUCK UP IM NOT A SUCK UP AND ESPECIALLY NOT FOR YOU. IF I DODNT SEE THE NEED TO APOLOGIZE I WONT IM SICK OF SAYING SORRY, IM SICK OF PEOPLE WANTING THAT, I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SOMETHING I CANNOT CHANGE FUCK OFFFFFFF.

Thank you everyone who has ever looked out for me thank you to my friends and mutuals, thank you to everyone who was literally ever nice to me. I HATE EVERYONE BUT YOU 💗/j

Yall I promise I’m not this mean 😭 not unless you give me a reason to (once again from my man 💙)

[starscelly]

🫂🩷anonymous mutual support!🩷🫂

please pick one of the following:

•share a link to a fic youd like some comments/kudos on

•take a moment to say one nice thing about yourself

•vent! what's going on that you need to talk about?

•any other random thing that would make you feel supported right now.

you are loved!

if you have the mental space, send this to 5 others who might need the same support

!!! this is so kind omg. ilysm anon <3

just a wee vent. a mini vent. i posted a yapping post abt this but im genuinely finding it sooo hard to reach out and make friends after moving like omg.... i actually met and bonded with a hockey bro which was funny (and he might give me a miro card. haha. hehe even.) like i have never had so many straight men talk to me . ever. but idk its hard!!! especially bc the few ppl i have been hanging out with are all super extroverted and im. nawt. but we ball itll get better ik its just been tough. on the brightside i have a window that gets BEAUTIFUL golden hr lighting which i've never had before so. slay

[lokilysolbitch]

yeah so my childhood friend of 15 years chronically leaves me on read especially after i have a lot to say which really sucks ass because i actually used to have a whole system of different apps i texted her through so i wouldn't overwhelm one chat with all my spam and she would have time to read it when she wanted. but then a few years ago she was like "no you can spam me in the main app !! you can infodump and vent whenever you want !!" so i said "omg cool !!" and infodumped. and she fucking. left me on read and NEVER acknowledged it at all. and she still does it !!!!!!! that's actually partly why i post on social media at all, especially tumblr bc there's some random person who will want to read all that. anyways yeah im on read again and it's been twelve hours. she HAS spoken in a group chat where i can see her talking tho. which is even more sick rad and cool/sar

but yeah i'm gonna use tumblr for what i made it for, here's my bullshit. they're separate thoughts for the most part:

i'm keeping a count of eyelashes that fall out my eyelash bc for years it's seemed kind of excessive. yesterday was SEVEN. ALL AT ONCE. today is five. also all at once. i think the shedding ones get stuck in my lashes tho and don't come out until i try to get a single oddly placed one out of the way??? so maybe it's normal ???

me, whenever my playlist of my favorite songs plays my favorite songs: OH MY GOD I LOVE TJIS SONG

bro i found nail polish from when i was fucking SEVEN and that shit still works oh my god. the youngest polish i have is from when i was in middle school and most of them are still good. i wanna paint my nails again and i WILL be using these. the shimmery ones are fucking gorgeous.

OH don't get me started on my fucking catching fire nail polish that i got when i was idk 12 because i loved and love the hunger games. don't get me started. okay fine i'll start IT IS SO PRETTY AND SHINY IT FR LOOKS LIKE FIRE LIKE ITS GOT RED YELLOW AND ORANGE GLITTER AND WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT AHDJWIS SKWW SKEDID

and there's also my mockingjay blue polish. one time i painted my nails with it and scrawled "mockingjay" on it with fine line black nail polish and i only regret it not looking neater tbh. i WAS the cringe hunger games kid and not much keeps me from becoming one again

i have so much pink nail polish. i've never in my life liked pink like That tho. why are there so many. the pale pink does hit tho i'll give it that. goddamn it's pretty

the ac in my room doesn't work rn and it is quite literally. 50 something degrees in here. i have raynauds. i just want to feel my fingers again

all i'm saying. is they should make the dsm 5 less relatable idk. i am winning the put a finger down challenge but at what cost

it's really weird how no matter how you feel about someone you'll still see stuff at the store and think "they would like this"

----

okay i got tired i'm stopping now

[insufferable-talkstuck]

(HELPP sorry bro gonna ask this blog instead mb 💀😭)

helloo can u classpect me pls (idk heo to do this 🔥) including a little bit of vent for the sake of classpects

basically i am reclusive, secretive, spacey, knowledgeable but not in an arrogant way, creative, pretty absent minded, and very awkward :]

my main interests include TMNT, MBTI, experimental music, psychology, and marine life. (probably says nothing)

i also like drawing but sometimes i get mad jealous over other ppls art

i also have a strong interest in leftism, anti-racism and anti-capitalism. idk what that says tho

i can get RLY obsessive about my interests and i will NOT shut up about whatever im hyperfixating on

i find it extremely difficult to grasp social cues, in other words i am socially inept

i can have a lot of trouble with empathy usually, not saying i have no empathy tho

no social life. 0. not even one (1) friend. offline or online.

if i had a social group tho i think id be the weird one who is very awkward and does not get jokes 😭

i like to consider both logic and emotions when making a decision, but i tend to value logic and rationality more sometimes

i have a tendency to stay up really late, like really late (it is 5 am as i am writing this

(idk of the text below counts as a vent or not but read idk)

ive always been really bad at explaining, wording, or identifying my own emotions, idk why but its just really hard to come up with words that can accurately describe how i feel, which is why im shit at venting

nvm i think im just bad at wording my own thoughts in general, it makes me feel kind of dumb, im just as bad at that on text too 😭😭 communicating is hell

(vent-ish thing is over)

supernatural stuff is pretty cool too idk

ive been told im dry and very monotonous in person 💀 like a robot n shit

i also dont like being wrong but not in an arrogant know-it-all asshole kinda way ❤

idk what else to put here.

Seer of Void

I'm not picking up any sign that you would *want* to be assigned a void player but I don't tell people what they want to hear.

- dissection -

‘ basically — :] ’ in this paragraph you list off some traits that could easily be associated with void

‘ i can RLY — tho ’ classpects aren't political stances and tho some classes and aspects are described as more devoted or revolutionary it doesn't specifically tilt it towards any view on these things. go girl give us nothing

‘ i find it — jokes ’ you're listing traits of autism, not something that could help me classpect you. However in all technicality "lacking" so many things can be written off as void

‘ i like to consider — on text too ’ okay, Dirk strider moment I guess, if you had only left this paragraph i would have given you prince of heart and left it at that

- dissection over -

why I think you're a seer of void

seers struggle to grasp their aspect at first, how it works and how they could relate to it escapes them, but once they learn it they're comfortable in it. you talk like youre rampaging to find fragments of a personality, sloppily putting paragraphs about yourself together, but if you were to take a step back and relax I think you'd be relieved and find comfort in the nothingness, and along with it the unlimited potential you'll master but.. baby steps

bonus round

i think there would be a destructive heart player and/or a mind player in your session, you seem torn between the two, I don't see this talked about amongst the classpecting population but I do think the aspects of the players in your session would affect you. with all my evidence of that coming from the kids and trolls sessions I mean the bond is just so clear

[sorryimananti-romantic]

i need advice yumi ☹

my best friend (long distance) hasnt been texting me lately, if i dont text her first she wont text me ☹☹ idk what i should do

it always hurts me whenever i find myself texting her just to get her to remember me. but it also hurts me when i stop texting her to see if she will notice my absence

and i understand that she has a life that doesnt revolve around me, but 6 days? 6 days of me having to remind her of my existence, of our friendship. not even a "hi" or "good morning" or "how are you" or "i miss you"

idk if im too attatched to her 😭 like is this a normal thing? is it normal for your best friend to be like this? what should i do bro this turned into a vent halfway

me who doesn't talk to my best friend for 6 months straight 🧍‍♀️

okay here's the thing- i have a few context questions bc i can't give advice without them but i feel like you're the anon who just moved? and was scared to part ways with their best friend? if you are then:

a) it's normal to not talk for days- it feels overwhelming for the person who moved bc the other person is living their life just like usual and they literally forget sometimes, and that's completely okay

b) if you've talked regularly but:

if you've always been texting first, they might have gotten used to just waiting for you to text first 🧍‍♀️ which means lack of effort from them for sure

or if you text each other but they haven't texted you in 6 days, it's prob that life happened. that's okay, it's always okay to text first and you know what's even better? communicating about this. communication with friends and like just talking about how your friendship if going to work

for example me who has decades old friends but we don't talk for 6 months straight (exchanging memes don't count) its bc we have acknowledged early on in our relationship that we have our own lives but we'll always be there for eo especially when we need it. communication is imp!!

also with long distance you might have to get used to not talking for weeks or even months. that will eventually happen, tho sometimes you really do talk regularly. whatever the case, it's imp to either talk or figure out on your own what kind of communication they want from you, how much effort are yall gonna put into your friendship. i feel like for you it's still too early to judge if this a sign that they dont wanna talk anymore (in case you're the anon who just moved)

i do have some bitter realistic advice too but i kept this friendly and hopeful LOL let me know if you want that but i'll need more context bc i suffer from goldfish memory and i feel like i know you but i can't be sure bc im also a certified clown :D

[baahsu]

HIII BAHH SRRY FOR DISINTEGRATING FOR A FEW DAYS OPLA HAD MOMENTARILY CONSUMED EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING

HOWEVER this has been sitting, unfinished, in my vscest doc for a while now so i decided to finish it up. here u go eat up friend :]] oh yeah angst warning at the beginning btw:

so. lies on the floor. ichiji deserves to get fucked stupid after having a bad day and im thinking abt him w yonji rn so. :)

emotions regained/vs bros redemption ichiji having that almost subtle kinda self hatred one day- (bc in emotions regained aus all the brothers are chronically mentally ill, they're so traumatized its painful :,D) -not the kind that makes you wanna scream or cry or throw up, instead the kind that makes your heart go a little faster than normal and that makes your skin crawl and makes you feel sick for being alive. the kind that builds and builds until it's too much.

yonji (the most *emotionally* intelligent one out of 124ji, methinks) eventually notices smthns wrong and asks ichi abt it and ichiji just Breaks. like he pauses, crumples into a ball, and starts pulling his hair and venting about how he feels so disgusting and unworthy of love and how he wants to rip his skin off for something new and he hates this he hates this he hates this he hates himself

and yonji LISTENS to him. he listens with a frown until ichi is fucking winded, hyperventilating, and sweating with frustrated tears in his eyes. and then yonji hits him with the

"What do you need me to do, Ichiji?"

then ichi just stops shaking (and breathing) entirely for a moment as the question registers b4 his shaking slowly starts up again and his bottom lip starts trembling and he slowly looks up at yonji with big ole watery eyes and shakily signals him over to cuddle and theybpagaufuafuaf!!!!

the two of em lying down w yonji holding ichiji tight against his chest- one hand/arm curled around chijis lower back while the other is running through his hair and ichis just curling around yonji like a koala. he buries his face in yonjis neck and is constantly mumbling "im sorry" and yonji says "theres nothing to apologize for" each and every time back, proving his point by pressing a kiss to a different part of ichiji each time.

this continues on until ichiji stops crying and calms down. then he thanks yonji by sitting up slowly and holding yonjis face in his hands and kissing him *so* gently.

^ idk maybe its just me but i feel like out of all the vs siblings ichiji would have the hardest time being gentle. sanji always has been, reiju *secretly* always has been, yonji *had* to learn to be (even when he was still emotionless) bc of his strength (and therefore it came somewhat easily to him when he got emotions), nijis always been a giant fucking tsundere so even though hes an ass about 90% of the time, he does have the capability to at least sit and listen and take care of someone he loves (especially after regaining emotions, the percentile changes from 90/10 to 50/50 then lmao), but ichiji?? the perfect, emotionless soldier, even after getting fixed??? practically unheard of.

so when he pulls THIS shit???

it makes yonjis libido go WHAM. like that mf went redder than chijis hair. might as well been a cartoon character with the way he practically started floating as his eyes turned into hearts

THEN. then that gentle kiss delvesssss

ichiji getting lost in his emotions, leading him to grab yonjis face so *desperately* and straddle his hips/lap and kiss him thru tears.. n yonjis there half dumbstruck half horny, grinding on ichis ass while the hands once petting his hair and stroking his back to soothe him move to squeeze at it bc holy shiiit what is happening rn yonji cant compute. do u see the vision 🙈🙈

then, SHOCKINGLY, (/sarc) they fuck each other stupid. like STUPID stupid. so stupid that when 023 find them in the morning they straight up think the two were jumped in an alley together or smthn with how marked up their bodies were n shit (but they figure it out real quick once they see how badly ichiji was limping :]) ((tho if you asked me personally yonji wasnt exactly walking straight either :]])) (((they are both switches :]]])))

AND SCENE. i wrote abt both ichiniji and yoniji b4 this so now the 124ji circle is complete lmao. i need more soft ichiji in my life and if theres no one to provide i shall make it myself :)) -J.J

Honestly relatable, I can't stop thinking about opla since the day I watched it lol it was so good and I want to rewatch it already

But back to vcest 👀

Ichiji being emotionally stunted after getting his emotions back is a concept that's always at the back of my mind but I never put too much thought into it, but now I'm 👀

I see him as trying to keep himself, and the others, together, he doesn't let his emotions run freely, he tries not to let them take the better of him else he might go down and spiral of self hatred and guilt, so he puts his energy into looking after the others and trying to come up with a plan to get them out of judge's grasp

It takes a toll on him of course, his repressed emotions keep building up and he feels himself going insane and with no way to vent

When yonji catches him like this, on the verge of panicking, he finally let's go and it feels so good and so freeing for once. Yonji's rock solid, he embraces him, takes his whole body into strong arms and makes him feel safe, and he doesn't budge, he lets ichiji cry against his shoulder until he's satisfied and spent

Ichiji's tired but tries to show his gratitude with a kiss and yonji combusts. It's not every day that he has ichiji this pliant and soft and sweet sprawled in his lap and he wants to do so many things to him but his brain's all muddled and he doesn't know where to begin!!

Once he gets a hold of himself tho, it's over for ichiji, the strength he used to comfort him will now be used to ruim him

[chaosdisorganized]

Idk if you saw my tags in the last post but damn fuck the education system and the pressure to pass and do well in school. Like my parents took school so seriously I'd get beat for getting any grade below a C. That's fucking crazy, it's crazy that my parents thought the best way to get me to make better grades was terrifying me so much I was too scared to fail. And when I'd cry after getting a bad report card from teachers or something they thought I was just trying to guilt them and would tell me stuff like it's all my fault and shit. Like no bitch I'm crying because my parents are going to hurt me for this. I stopped making bad grades after freshmen year because I got really good at cheating and bullshitting but then I became less worried about actually learning the material and more worried about getting all my work done. I didn't read a single assigned English book, I got all A's in English. I didn't learn anything in AP Biology, I got A's and B's. I have no idea how I ended up in CCP pre calculus senior year but I passed, I suck at math bro. And its not like I didn't have any help obviously because of the trauma associated with it I ended up with alters who's purpose was to do a bunch of school work at once and I also had a 504 plan which helped a lot and I still turned in a bunch of assignments late but my 504 covered that as long as I told the teacher I needed more time. But damn that was rough. Fuck school and the education system and the pressure to do well. I ended up in Honors and CCP and AP classes when I suddenly stopped failing and actually started getting good grades and damn fuck those kinds of classes too, they give way too much work to poor high schoolers. I remember how much shit I had to do in those classes and when you take multiple at a time it's just a lot. I tried college twice now and I actually think college assigns less work than those damn classes. Anyways sorry for the rant vent thing I'm really stoned.

[n4talia-chaparro]

I FEEL SO PISSED AND OVERWHELMED OMSHSJJSS HOLY SHITT I CAN NOT STAND SNOWFLAKES. I'M TRYING SO HARD TO NOT LET OUT MY TEMPER AND SNAP BUT I CAN'T--- IT'S HARD BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE TOTAL ASSHOLES AND KEPT ON RUBBING THEIR WORDS ON MY FACE AND THEN THEY EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL AND KIND???? MF I'VE BEEN HURT AND JUDGED A LOT, I GREW UP WITH IT AND STRUGGLED TO BE USED TO IT CUZ ITS FUCKING STUPID.

(Even worse guilty because I grew up in a traumatic and unsettling situation and it still hurts me to this day when people tried to bring that up or piss me off bruuh)

WH-- HOW I DON'T WANNA VENT/RANT CUZ I DON'T WANNA BE SEEN AS PROBLEMATIC OR A LOSER BUT BRO--- LET ME HAVE FREEDOM AND FUN AT LEAST, LET ME EXPRESS MY FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS THROUGH MY STUFF, LET ME RAMBLE AND TALK- STOP ACTING LIKE I WAS THE BAD GUY FOR SOMETHING I SAID.

IF I SOUND "RUDE", "HARH" OR "SELFISH" WHEN I TALK THEN IM NOT. I'M STRESSED, I'M OVERWHELMED AND IDK HOW TO EXPRESS OR TALK TO ANYONE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON BECAUSE AGAIN. I GREW UP IN A FUCKED UP SITUATION AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I'M SCARED TO HURT SOMEONE AGAIN. YOU DON'T KNOW IF I'LL HURT SOMEONE BY ACCIDENT, YOU DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN BECAUSE THE STUFF I ADD IN THOSE DRAWINGS IS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME REMAIN CALM BUT NO LET'S TAKE SOMEONE'S ART AND CALL THE ARTIST PROBLEMATIC BECAUSE IT HAS SOMETHING THAT YOU DONT LIKE. I- BRO---

I WANNA FUCKIN BREAK SOMETHING UUAAAAAAHHHH

[lottieratworld]

this is 100% just a Me thing and really there isnt actually anything wrong with it but i need to vent it out bc its literally attached to my brain every time.

always feels like, idk, a bit insensitive to use like, cutesy uwu hug emotes/stickers in response to kind of serious subjects? like the comic panel of the ninja turtle sayin "bummer, bro..." in response to parents dying. heavily prefer the standard hug emoji 🫂 which at least looks like a genuine hug and not like. two cartoon animals with owo faces snuggling. anyway yea this is my warning to pls not just send me a sticker of ur fursona hugging if i vent something kind of serious, itll feel kind of bad

anyway dont rly want anyone reading this to feel bad abt it just like, needed to dump how i process these things when i read them, i dunno

[stylezxsilvermoon]

vent

not to be all sad and shit bc i hate posting sad shit but vent

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sometimes i just hate being me idk, like last night my gran DIDNT tell me to wash the dishes and i wasnt feeling well like my mental health at the time was so shit so i was gonna go easy on myself and not wash them

and she hasnt been telling me to wash them lately bc ive just been doing it bc one, shes toxic and manipulative and she'll make me feel like shit

and thats what she did.

and i just feel this inconsolable guilt when i dont do something im supposed to but i cannot get myself to do it bc im just so TIRED why cant i go easy on myself why cant i just she just wash the dishes sometimes

and all night i didnt even sleep well bc i didnt wash the dishes and i saw her in bed this morning and she usually wakes up at the crack ass of dawn to drink her coffee and listen to church music and la la la and she didnt she was in the bed watching tv and she ALWAYS gets up so if she doesnt get up ik shes mad/i messed up

and im not even half awake and she goes "i see you didnt wash the dishes last night" and shes in the bed and she looks so depressed and im like GIRLLL i was so tired and i just feel like this bawl of anxiety bc i didnt wash them and i went to make myself breakfast, before i did that i obviously washed them bc i felt so inconsolably guilty for not washing them one time

even after washing them shes still mad at me and she went on a whole rant abt how im so lazy and shit when literally my mental health has been so fucking bad

and plus WHY CANT SHE WASH THE DISHES? ik shes like almost 80 and she uses this respect ur elders shit on me so i end up having 2 wash them i KNOW i should wash them for whatever reason it is bc im lazy and im horrible and im a trash person bc i literally BREATHE

and she makes dinner and i wash them thats the invisible 'deal' except the deal only works in HER BENIFIT hence manipulation, when i cook she also expects me to wash the dishes

like when i cook for myself i obv wash them bc I DIRTED THEM I WASH THEM

and she acts like bc i ate the food i have to wash them, by that logic you ate it too so like?

im just so ugh bro im so ugh shes been making me feel like shit all fucking morning bc of it and ive cried like 3 times bc i just wanted to rest bc i cant fucking vent to anyone bc ive been feeling like no one fucking cares abt me and i dont deserve to be amongst other humans bc im always the problem im always causing drama im always the horrible one im always playing victim ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.

and plus ive been dealing w this weird thing recently where like my mom shes like not here anymore but i look exactly like her we could be twins okok and my whole family loved and adored her and when she died they were obviously sad bc from what i heard she was a great person and im obv not against that and when she had a daughter they acted like all of their problems were solved HEY WE GET A SECOND ONE OF HER

when they discoverd i look walk talk act like her we have the same intrests

im literally her in a diff font

she was gay, i am also gay

she loved boybands, i love 1d

she wanted to be a nurse, i wanna be a labor and delivery nurse practitioner

she was kind and giving, i am also that

not to mention we basically look the same like i said before, i have a class for career prep bc i wanna be in the medical field and my mom used to work at a hospital and the scrubs we wore, were the same color... as the ones she used to wear

and since then anytime anyone in my family sees me they pull up that picture and laugh and laugh of how i look just like her

and i always get the feeling they dont love me (well obv bc they treat me like shit) but also i feel like they dont love ME for ME just her bc i look like her and im her daughter

and my crazy ass gran has said so she even calls me by my mothers name sometimes not MY NAME its like im not even a person i dont even have my own personality i just STOLE IT FROM HER

its like im a reincarnation of her and i cant help i like all the same things as her bc ig that just happend but sometimes i feel like i dont even have my own identity anymore no one even loves me for me im just sme hollow representation of what they loved before no one in my family actually loves me even if i didnt look like her

they'd cast me aside and call me crazy and weird if we didnt have similar lives they'd treat me like shit more than they already do if i didnt look like her, feels like the only purpose of them treating me with 1% respect is bc i have the face of someone they loved

but then i ask myself, why cant my face be a representation of someone you love? in a weird way... why cant when you look at me you think jamila, not lena

why?

because they dont like me, forever questioning why since i was like 8 my close family just finds me so disgusting and repulsive bc i dont conform to their thinking i dont conform to the typical 'woman' in my family

im not obedient and small, i dont put up with shit i dont deserve, i like diffrent things im still a fucking kid, im sensative to violence and i dont like watchin war movies where ppls arms get chopped off i dont like watching m*rder documentaries i dont like 'facing the facts' of the world and finding it entertaining

i rreally dont

i like princesses and fairys and barbie and winx and one direction and teenage mutant ninja turtles and adventure time and fantasy and glitter and pink and being called babygirl and princess im soft and i dont like those things

AND THEY HATE IT.

I DONT KNOW WHY and i hate that i get hated on bc i dont conform to this invisble checklist of what a woman is by my families standards

by my families standards a woman is obdedient and small and never questions anything shes submissive to her hUsbAnD and shuts up when he/her elders tell her to and do anything to please anyone else in the family bc shes 'well behaved'

and when she has kids, they better not act 'fast' have a personality, act like kids, they better be obdedient little monsters who sit and play quietly while the adults are tAlKiNg

who are EXCLUDED from ever being loved respected or accepted if they act any different

and i hate it.

ty for listening 2 my rant

im sorry it was so long