#its kickball right?

[bell4316-blog]

Mikey playing kickball

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

fearless - d. wagner

a/n: i know wagner wednesday was yesterday, but fuck it. everyone can leave me alone I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!! notes/warnings: extremely suggestive relationship, no use of y/n, secret relationships, tooth rotting fluff at the end, childhood best friends to lovers, danny being jealous, cursing, like so many allusions to fucking, me writing this late at night, sam, josh and jake being extremely oblivious like just the epitome of "so close! that is a shape! <3" word count: 2.3k summary: daniel has been acting awfully weird lately. luckily, the kiszka brothers are on the case! pairing: danny wagner x gn! reader now playing: fearless (taylor's version) - taylor swift “run your hands through your hair/absentmindedly making me want you/and i don't know how it gets better than this/you take my hand and drag me head first, fearless"

Samuel Kiszka had met you way back in elementary school, back when you were kind of regarded as a freak. You were playing with a ladybug on the playground during recess, and he came over and asked what you were doing. When you explained, he became fascinated with the ladybug and declared you would be its parents. Then, a stray kickball had flew over, crushing your new baby bug. Some kid laughed at Sam when he started to cry, so you decided to punch that little fucker in the face.

You had been best friends ever since.

A year after that, he came to you and introduced you to a different kid he had met in his new class, the one right beside yours. His name was Daniel.

And since then, it’s always been the three of you, against everything.

You became awfully close with the Wagners and with the Kiszkas, going as far as to call them your family. You grew up in sort of a rough environment, but there was always a place for you on Daniel’s couch or Sammy’s floor.

You smoked your first blunt together, took your first shots together, and cried over breakups that didn’t even matter anymore.

You were a tech kid in high school with a certain knack for equipment and stage managing. Sam and Danny were just starting to get more serious about their music, so there was a time when you didn’t see each other that much. You were busy with whatever production your high school was putting on, and they had formed a band with Sam’s older brothers, Jake and Josh.

You knew it had been Jake’s dream for years, so besides their mother, you consider yourself the first Greta Van Fleet fan.

When their song, Highway Tune, went viral, you just knew it meant huge things for them. You could see it in Jake’s face, hear it in Josh’s voice. This was something bigger than any of you. So, you weren’t really shocked when they came to you and told you that they had a record deal and a few shows booked around the country.

You were only sad that you’d be stuck in Michigan while your best friends toured around the country, maybe even the world.

Then, Sammy told you a stipulation of their contract was that you would get to be on the set team, and with enough experience, you’d lead that team in all the equipment and stage management you could get your hands on.

And you jumped in with them, headfirst, fearless.

That was years ago, and you haven’t looked back since.

But then Sam started to notice something.

Daniel Wagner had been distracted. Never a good thing to be while on tour.

So, he came to you with the problem.

“I’m telling you, there is something up with Daniel!” He practically whined as you packed your bag to go to the next venue.

“Sammy, nothing is up with Daniel. There’s no way.”

“He doesn’t eat, he is always staring off into the distance, he’s always scribbling in his little notebook, he’s acting weird!”

“You guys are on tour, that’s stressful. Maybe he’s just like, at max stress.” You argue, checking that you have your lights and pyro cues for the next stop of the tour.

“Why aren’t you worried about this? You should be worried, he’s your best friend too!”

You stop what you’re doing and turn to face him.

“Maybe he’s fallen madly in love with someone.”

Sam actually laughs out loud at the thought.

“Good one!” He says with a goofy grin on his face. “We would know if he was in love, don’t you think?” He asks.

“Then I just don’t know, Sammy. Go argue with Jake and Josh about this, I have to go meet with the crew about the inventory for the road.” You say, and Sam just drops it to go do exactly that.

His brothers are on the tour bus when he gets there and luckily, Danny is running late. And he is sure to mention that.

“Seems like Daniel is late again... He’s been doing that a lot, huh?” He says, trying not to act too suspiciously.

Josh and Jake share this look, like they’re trying to figure out if Sam has a point or not. But Jake starts to really think about it, and you know what? Shockingly, their younger brother does in fact have a point.

“Now that you mention it, He is acting kind of weird.” He says softly, and Josh nods.

“I had to ask him for my earrings back the other day and when I got to his room, he looked like I caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to. I thought he was in the middle of jerking off but now that I think about it, he’s been like that a lot. Always acting like a deer in the headlights.”

So, the whole situation perplexes them, but before they can say anything else on the matter, Danny strolls onto the tour bus.

“Good morning, boys! How are we today?” Now that they had all discussed it, any behavior from him would be suspicious.

“Fine. Why are you late, Dan?” Danny was immediately alarmed by this, since Sam never called him Dan. It was always Danny or Daniel.

“Uh, I just lost my shoes in the room, and they were under my bed. Sorry, I didn’t realize I was keeping you guys waiting.”

Josh, the only one able to play anything cool, just nods, “It’s alright, we weren’t waiting for long. We should probably discuss the setlist for tonight.” Jake hums but he can’t help but notice that Danny has these large black stud earrings in. And he’s sure he’s seen them before, but he can’t quite put his finger on were.

For now, he lets it go. But he keeps it in the back of his mind for later.

They stop at a rest stop that afternoon, along with most of the tech crew who travel in their own bus. You go to check in on your boys and buy Sam a snack as a peace offering for not believing him this morning.

But instead, you run into Josh, who decides to find the others with you. You get to talking but you feel him staring at your face, and you blush.

“What, do I have something on my face?” You ask bashfully.

“No,” he hums softly, tilting his head. “You just— Where’d you get that necklace?” He swears he’s seen it before but can’t put his finger on it.

Your hand goes up to fiddle with the necklace, almost nervously.

“It’s a gift from my sister, I wore it when we graduated, remember?” Josh does not remember.

For now, he lets it go. But he keeps it in the back of his mind for later.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, Toots, Guess I forgot.” He links arms with you, “Let’s go find the guys, huh?” He smiles. Happy to drop the subject, you go with him willingly.

Sammy, Danny, and Jake are getting their snacks when something catches Danny’s eye, and he won’t stop staring, so Sam looks to see what he could be so bothered by. And all he sees is his older brother, linking arms with you.

He smacks Danny’s arm, whose head snaps to look at him.

“Just Josh, Dude. At Ease, Soldier.” He teases. But he can’t shake this feeling that Danny was bothered by it. But why would he be?

Nothing else weird happens throughout the day, and the show that night goes well. So well, in fact that they invite you to a local bar where they can grab a few drinks and decompress from the day. And that goes really well too, except when Sam sees you the next morning and hickeys cover your neck.

“Dude! What the fuck!?” He asks, investigating your neck further. You blush and shove him off gently.

“Relax, Sammy, I just—I hooked up with someone last night that I met at the bar, and they were kind of rough. No big deal, I’ll never see them again.” You say, with a casual shrug.

Something is off about your tone. But he says nothing.

For now, he lets it go. But he keeps it in the back of his mind for later.

And then, he notices these earrings you have in.

Large black diamond studs.

“Nice Earrings.” He comments casually. He swears he’s seen them before, but like, recently! It perplexes him a bit and it must show on his face, because you are quick to clear up any confusion.

“Oh, thanks! I wore them last night for the bar and I just forgot to take them out. They aren’t too casual, so I don’t wear them too often.”

And it makes enough sense. Why would you lie to him about something as stupid as that?

Then, when he sees Danny that night, he’s covered in hickeys.

And Sam thinks he might still be drunk or high, or both. Because what the fuck is going on?! You both were acting strange, and he’s noticing these little things, so he decides to confide in Josh and Jake again, who relay their findings, and they decide they must confront Danny together.

Danny is not too shocked when he goes to get undressed and get his makeup removed only to find the boys waiting for him there. It took him a while to get back to the dressing room.

“Oh, hey guys! Sorry, I didn’t realize you were waiting for me. I got caught up talking to one of the security guards and then I got lost, this venue is so damn confusing.” And then Sam knows he’s lying because if HE could figure out how to return to the dressing room, then Danny, who has an amazing sense of direction, definitely could!

“What’s going on with you, Man?” he asks as he begins to wipe the makeup off his face.

“What? Nothing is going on with me, dude, I told you I just got lost.”

“Bullshit,” Josh calls. “You’re distracted, always late, and have suspiciously good jewelry taste as of late!”

“Yeah! And it’s affecting other people too,” Jake recalls, “Even the tech crew has noticed it! Our stage manager, our best friend, is acting weird too, and I have a feeling it’s because of your shady actions!”

And that’s when it hits Sam.

The earrings.

The hickeys.

The necklace.

The lateness.

The god damn hickeys.

“Just be real with us, Danny—” Josh starts, before Sam stands up.

“MOTHERFUCKER!” He gasps.

And that stops everyone in their tracks. He says your name to Danny, and it immediately catches his attention.

“What about them?” He asks.

“Are you sleeping with them?” Sam asks.

“What?! Sammy, c’mon—”

“Daniel Wagner, are you fucking our stage manager?!”

There’s a pause.

“Sammy. You’re acting—”

“Answer the question.”

“No!” He sighs. “I think they are lovely, and I would love to, and I want to take them on dates and woo them, but I am not fucking our stage manager, Sam. You guys are being paranoid. And if you don’t mind I’d prefer they don’t know about the fact that I like them, okay?”

All the other boys nod. Of course, It makes perfect sense! You and Danny both like each other but you aren’t able to tell each other that because of your long-standing friendship, but you’re sharing jewelry as a way of subtly telling each other. And that explains why he was staring at you and Josh the other day! And the hickeys were from other people because you couldn’t have each other! Duh! Maybe he really did get lost going back to the dressing room.

The conversation quickly shifts and moves on from Danny’s confession, and everything is normal. They could help you realize that the feelings were reciprocated.

When Danny eventually makes it out of there, he makes his way back to his hotel room. But on his way up, he quickly checks to see if any of the boys are following him, before making a stop on the way.

The knock on your door doesn’t startle you, in fact, you were kind of ready for it. You had gotten back a little while ago and turned on the shower to let it heat up. When you answer it, you grin up at him and grab his arm, pulling him inside. He shuts the door behind himself, before his arms are around your waist, leaning in for a long kiss.

It’s full of this gentleness that he grants you because, well, he always greets you with one sweet, truly loving kiss.

When he pulls away, he grins back at you.

“Hi, sweets.” He hums.

“Hey, handsome.” You respond, “Did you put the boys to bed like I asked?” He laughs at your phrasing, leaning down to kiss your jaw. And then your neck. Again. And again. And one more time for good measure.

“Mhm. They asked me if we were together though.” He keeps kissing your neck.

“I figured as much; they’ve been acting weird.”

“They might think I have a crush on you, now.” He says between kisses.

“And what would give them that idea?” You ask.

“…The fact that I told them I had a crush on you.”

“Well, do you?”

“Mm... I dunno. Might have to kiss you a few more times before I decide for certain.” You grin.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah... Maybe a little more than kissing too...”

“Well, don’t let me stand in the way of your methods, Danny.”

He grins, and kisses you again, this time, deeper, with none of the gentleness of the initial kiss. But there’s a new feeling you get from him now. Hunger.

And you kiss back, as if you have something deeper than hunger. Starvation, maybe.

And you don’t think either of you will ever be satiated.

By the end of the night, he decides he most definitely has a crush on you.

[autumnslance]

FFXIV Write 2024: 23 On Cloud Nine

(730ish words of Shadowbringers and a Good Girl)

The stables in their stone home were very comfortable. The stablehands were friendly, there were plenty of adventurers and their mounts to meet—not always chocobos, but no accounting for taste. Great care was taken with the food and water, and there was no shortage of gysahl greens, krakka, or curiel roots. There were toys of all kinds, and a nice little meadow cleared out and reclaimed from the Gloomy Place’s blasted grounds for playtime.

Snowlight was at least content for the moment.

Some of the Scions would come to visit. The small ladies when they could, though they were Very Important And Busy. But the Bow Lady took Snowlight on rides around the lake, or up into the foothills leading toward the Frozen Place. She would let Snowlight gallop as fast as she could while the Bow Lady practiced firing from Snowlight’s back, and that was a lot of fun! They even tried flying a little when she did it, and Snowlight was very careful to not drop her person’s comrade.

Her person had asked Snowlight to wait patiently and be helpful to her friends. She had called Snowlight a good girl and kissed her beak and promised she wouldn’t be long, but wouldn’t be able to call to Snowlight where she had to go.

Snowlight had kweh’d and cuddled her person, who was worried about her friends, sleeping too still. Especially the Sneaky Man; her person liked him the most. And that was all right; he knew how to give proper scritches and what treats were best, and made her person happy. So Snowlight wanted him to wake up, along with the rest of the sleepers. They were all very nice and friends with Snowlight, too.

Her person had left some time ago, and the days turned to weeks turned to moons. Snowlight would have been more concerned, except for the pixie that visited her dreams, crooning about what a pretty bird she was and that her person was just fine.

It had been awhile since the pixie's last visit, though.

The day was like any other; gloomy aether filling the air and obscuring the sun. The stablehands stumbled in early regardless, yawning and joking, making sure everyone had breakfast and water. They took turns letting out some of the long term residents to muck out their stalls, a few adventurers coming to claim their companions. The small friend with the cat-ear hood came to visit Snowlight. She seemed very tired, and Snowlight wished she would get more rest. But she offered treats, and helped the stablehands lead Snowlight out with some others to the meadow to play. She had to leave after that, but that was fine, Snowlight was busy asserting her dominance at kickball against some sprout adventuring birds.

She had almost won when she stopped still on the field, the other chocobos cheering and fluttering as they scored. But the familiar pressure had suddenly returned, like one’s ears popping during a change in altitude.

She trembled, talons flexing into the dirt. Could it be…?

The whistle called to her, and she kweh’d joyously, using its signal and bit of crystal, joined to her own aether, to teleport.

Snowlight was hardly in the River at all when she popped back into the world, in the shadow of the Tower on the other side of the lake. Her person smiled brightly���and then oofed as Snowlight headbutt her in excitement, wings flapping wildly.

“I missed you, too!” her person laughed, burying her face in Snowlight’s feathery neck. There were strange scents and sensations from her person, indicating Things Had Happened. It was very odd that there was a whiff of the Sneaky Man among the new smells, when Snowlight was certain he still slept in the stone house, but she could figure that out later, what mattered now was that Snowlight’s person had returned!

Not like last time. This person had kept her promise.

“Let’s go, Snowlight. I’ve much to tell the others,” her person said, swinging up onto Snowlight’s back, even without a saddle or bridle. She scritched Snowlight’s neck in just the perfect way.

Snowlight kweh’d an agreement and took off—carefully!—for the stone home on the other shore. Her person hugged onto her back and it was the best thing ever, this was the best day ever.

Her person was home!

[sinsandsuccubus]

Batter Up - Urban Wyatt

Context: There’s something about Urban in short shorts that does something to you….

Genre: smut

Word Count: 1.3k+

Pairings: Urban Wyatt x GF!Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+! Sexual activity.

a/n: yall…. YALL. I just got in from a party as I’m writing this and I go on insta to find Urban playing kickball? In short shorts? Almost getting a grand slam? Now I need to take another shower. And so will you.

Also, sorry for any typos. I did read this over, but ya know, I'm kind of hornknee from Urban

-

Please DO NOT ENGAGE if not older stated age. Reader’s discretion is advised. I am not responsible if YOU CHOOSE to continue.

-

Masterlist ☽☾

It was the annual Homies Kickball Tournament, which was not only a way of gathering those local in Louisville, but to raise charity. When Urban asked you to participate, you were hesitant, wondering what people would think about Urban’s girl on the team. Yet, none of your friends were worried about it, and honestly, you were past giving a fuck about other people’s opinions on your relationship with Urban. The trick that tipped it over though, was Urban’s uniform.

The shorts he wore?

You wanted to pull his pants down right there and-

Yeah.

You were currently out on the field, getting yourself ready for the round, as you were up next to kick after Urban. Jack had gone, the bases becoming loaded, as it was now Urban’s turn, you giving Urban a firm pat on the ass. He yelped and jumped in response, rubbing his ass from the slap.

“You got this babe!” You cheered on, smiling at your boyfriend.

You watched as the ball rolled towards him, and Urban took careful steps, punting the ball far across the field.

Well fuck. That was hot.

You stood in shock as the players ran across the base, Jack being the last to hit the home plate. That left Urban out on the field, particularly on second base. You looked at him in the distance, hand over your eyes to shield yourself from the sun.

“You got this! Bring me home!” You heard him shout, seeing the thumbs up you gave him.

Oh, you were about to bring him home alright.

As the ball rolled towards you, you being last to kick before halftime, you concentrated, thinking about nothing else but both you and Urban reaching home plate so you could give him sloppy toppy in the bathroom.

You mean, his present for being such a good sport.

You kicked the ball, hard, sending the ball flying across the field, far enough out to where you and Urban could both make it home safely.

You took off running, clearing the bases as you went, before heading for home plate. However, you noticed the ball being thrown to the third basemen, and him making the move to come after you. You picked up your speed, turning your head slightly to see the ball being thrown at your back. You quickly spun out of its direction, it flying past the person at home base, the crowd cheering you on. You ran across the base, Urban there to scoop you up as the team jumped for joy.

“That’s my girl!” Urban said as he put you down, to which you pulled him down by the collar of his shirt down for a kiss, the crowd “awwing” at the two of you.

“Gross guys, get a room!” You heard Jack yell, not paying him any attention as you moved your mouth to Urban’s ear.

“Meet me in the bathroom.” You quickly jogged off, scooping up an empty Gatorade water bottle off the floor, running back inside the stadium to make it appear you were going to fill it up before the next two rounds.

Yeah, you were. Totally.

Urban quickly found you in the bathroom, to which you pulled him close, kissing him immediately and locking the door behind you, his lips soft on yours.

“Mm, baby. Baby. Babe. Slow down, what’s this all about?” He spoke, pulling away from you.

“You! Being hot, in those sexy ass shorts, kicking that ball all sexy. It just made me… fuck- really fucking horny.” You spoke rushed, Urban quickly washing his hands before you guiding him to the bottom of your shorts, pushing them and your panties aside to reveal your drenched pussy.

“Damn baby, you’re really this turned on?”

“Urban… you have no clue what you do to me.” You spoke softly, looking up at him with lustful eyes.

“Well, I’ll have you know,” He paused, bringing your hands towards his shorts, his dick pressing hard into your palms.

“That I’m so fucking hard for you right now. Seeing you run across those bases to home plate, your tits bouncing, perfect ass,” he grabbed your ass and pulled you close, bringing one of your legs to rest on his hip. “This fucking ass. God Y/N, that shit was so hot.”

“Well, it seems that we both have a problem, don’t we?”

“Yup. We should probably solve this problem before the game starts up again, right?” Urban asked, raising an eyebrow and stroking his chin.

“Absolutely. I’ll start.” You quickly washed and dried your hands before pulling Urban’s shorts down, his hard dick springing free, precum leaking from the tip. You licked the droplets up onto your tongue, sighing at the taste.

“Y/N, don’t tease me like that.”

“Sorry babe. Let me make this quick, we do have a game to finish.” You swiftly took Urban down your throat, him moaning loud as you took him to the base of his cock, moaning to send vibrations up his shaft.

“Fuck Y/N, goddamn.”

You kept going, jerking him off while sucking him at the same time, the hand job becoming sloppy. Then, you took his dick all the way down your throat again, flexing your tongue so that it curved to his dick, making a suction almost. You played with his balls, massaging them with the saliva that had trailed down from your blowjob.

“Fuck baby, your mouth feels so good.”

You kept going, determined to make Urban cum down your throat. You wanted it so so badly.

However, that was cut short when he pulled you up by your throat, bending you over the counter of the bathroom sink.

“I need to fuck you right now.” Urban pulled your shorts and panties down swiftly, eyeing your wet pussy.

“Spread it for me.” He spoke, spitting on his hand as he jerked himself off, though he was pretty wet enough. You spread your lips, hearing a “fuck” from Urban.

Before you knew it, he had thrust inside you, working at a fast pace from the start.

“Ohmygod. Ohmygod, fuck, Urban please.” You moaned, folding your body over the cool countertop, the coldness feeling good against your torso.

Urban jerked your head up by your throat, moving his one hand to remain on your neck while the other smacked your ass, shortly thereafter moving to your hip. He pounded you into the counter, you not taking notice of how good he was making you feel.

“Look at me when I’m fucking you, you understand?” He squeezed your throat, you letting out a choked gasp, nodding at him while you looked at him in the mirror. He slapped your ass, making you moan some more.

“Use your words.”

“Yes Urban, ohmygod, yes, I’ll keep looking. God, yes.” You managed to get out, moaning and stumbling on your words. The hand from your throat moved to your clit, Urban rubbing light but firm circles on the sensitive bud.

“Fuck, Urban, you’re gonna make me cum.”

“Cum for me. Cum for me Y/N, cum on this dick.”

You yelped, coming down hard on Urban, your whole body shaking with satisfaction. However, Urban kept at it, chasing his own high.

“Fuck, baby, Y/N, shit. Where do you want it? Tell me now before I cum.”

“In my mouth please, fuck. In my mouth.” You spazzed around him again, him quickly pulling out of you as you dropped to your knees, shaking from your second orgasm as he shot his load into your mouth. You licked up anything that didn’t make it, cleaning your lips of the rest of his cum.

“Fuck Y/N, that was so hot.”

“You’re fucking hot babe.” You spoke, him helping you get up from the floor steadily, your body still shaking. You both fixed yourselves before you heard a knock on the door.

“Come on now y’all! I gotta fucking piss and y’all in there fuckin. I hope you cleaned up after yourselves, Jesus.”

[newtonsheffield]

how long did it take you to learn the rules of baseball or did you already know bf your deep dive? I was arguing w/ my friend that its simpler to understand than basketball and she said its the most confusing thing on earth but its just kickball with a bat basically!

Well I started watching it… on the 8th of October and I feel like I know enough to confidently watch and understand it 😂 It is… not a complicated game. Hit ball, run to little cushion quicker than the ball can get there. Run all the way around cushions to score a point. I’m sorry to your friend 😂

My best friend is a big basketball fan, she’s a golden state fan, and my mum’s husband’s son is actually playing college basketball right now and is a pretty big prospect there but I just… can’t like it. I have tried so many times.

I don’t understand all the statistics yet but I just do a quick Google when they mention something I don’t understand. I will say that in Australia we have a streaming service that only has sport on it (Kayo) and I don’t know of it’s to do with who broadcasts the games in the US but I find the score graphic easier to understand for the National League vs the American League 🤷🏻‍♀️

I did already have a basic understanding of it before I started watching it but I didn’t know the ins and outs. I even know what a designated hitter and a pinch hitter is now 😂

I do have one question from a confused Australian: Why are the crowd aggressively waving what appears to be a raggedy old towel in celebration? Are flags illegal?

[justsomekpopstuff]

seventeen as a baseball team - part 2

A/N: I have had so many thoughts recently, I just had to share!

part 1 | current masterlist | fic recs

team colors are white and serenity blue, and every now and again they get ones with rose quartz accents (its my au i'll do what I want)

their team mascot is something whimsical that has a cloud and diamond theme along with it

the whole team goes absolutely nuts the first time that center fielder!Dino gets voted into the All-Star Game

When they find out, they throw an absolute rager of a party in the locker room complete with champagne showers. When the All-Star game actually happens, instead of taking vacations, the entire team shows up to the game. All of them are wearing Dino's jersey, have their faces painted, and come equipped with horns and signs all cheering for him. It is the worlds most perfect Embarrassing Dad Cheering Section™️. Dino is bright red for the entire game because he can hear them from all the way across the stadium every time he takes the field.

third baseman!Wonwoo, on the other hand, despite being incredibly good, BEGS the fans to not vote him into the All-Star Game and Home Run Derby

He just really enjoys his time off...but alas, one year the fans absolutely do not listen, and he gets voted in with flying colors. He is, unfortunately, forced to go by catcher!Seungcheol. Despite not wanting to be there at all and tired all the time, Wonwoo ends up completely blowing the competition out of the water. In his final interview after winning the All-Star Game and receiving the MVP award, he begs the fans to never do it again.

the whole team holds a fun exhibition game every year during spring training where they all scrimmage against each other

The whole game gives major Savannah Bananas vibes, as well as that one kickball episode of GoSe. They have ridiculous rules like when the other team scores a point, the team on the field has to endure a "punishment" chosen by the fans. Inflatable costumes ARE used. Synchronized rehearsed dances are a must-have and they put their whole CHESTS into it. The fans love it and look forward to it every season.

right fielder!Joshua can always be seen playing catch in the outfield with some of the younger kid fans in the stands during warm-ups

He is very sweet with all of the younger fans, and has a reputation for always taking time to sign autographs and take silly selfies. He is, also, a chaos creator. He has absolutely stolen Red Vines from a child after making a catch that almost went into the stands.

starting pitcher!Woozi will deny it until his dying day, but he absolutely did cry the first time he threw a no-hitter

The whole team went absolutely nuts for him and stormed the field. Hoshi 1000% took pictures of Woozi crying. Woozi found out and threatened to absolutely kick Hoshi's ass if he ever showed those photos to another living soul. Hoshi listened.

first baseman!Mingyu has tripped running around second base more than anyone on the team...probably more than anyone in the league

There are multiple compilations each season of him tripping over second. He swears its an accident every time and that he does not trip over the base intentionally. The team places bets at the start of the official season for how many times he does it during the regular season. Winner gets all the cash pool and first pick of dugout snacks next season.

closing pitcher!Jeonghan has always been secretive about the reason why he wanted to become a closing pitcher

He will always say he wanted to be a closing pitcher because he loves the idea of being able to hold down the lead for the team, or give them opportunities to win. Jeonghan will swear that he likes being relied on and is good under pressure (which, to his credit, is technically true). However, the actual real reason he wanted to be a closing pitcher is so he wouldn’t have to run as much.

despite being injured, catcher!Seungcheol still attends every home game

He is usually sitting in the same place in the dugout, close to where the manager usually stands. Seungcheol, despite not being the manager, is absolutely yelling directions from his crutches in the dugout. The team will often listen to him better than their actual manager. The whole team is taking bets on whether or not Seungcheol will become a coach when he retires.

[imperatorrrrr]

get to know me

tagged by @jonassiegenthighler, even tho evil Tumblr did not inform me of such. home of phobic, tbh.

Do you make your bed?

sometimes. like on your average day? nope. but like if I'm gonna have company or if I've decided today is the day I'm putting my life in order or if I'm working from home and need to be on camera, I will make my bed.

Favourite number?

I do not have a reason, but its 16. There's no connection between me and that number, but it is my number.

What's your job?

I'm an attorney. Currently, I practice as an eviction defense attorney, so tenants rights.

If you could go back to school, would you?

If it was free and if I didn't have to do homework or assignments or take tests, then yeah probably, but honestly, having done school, university, and postgrad, I am so so so very over it.

Can you parallel park?

Yep! Fun T Lore Drop Incoming. My father is the one that taught me how to drive and we found this like dead end street that no one ever really used and my father bought his own traffic cones with him and set them up and we spent hours every night for weeks just getting parallel parking down.

Do you think aliens are real?

For sure. I fucking hope so.

Can you drive a manual car?

Nah...I like watching people drive a manual car though. I think its super hot, ahahaha.

Guilty pleasure?

Erm? Oh! There are a few songs by artists that have since been revealed to be pieces of shit that I still really like, but I try not to listen to them on main or in any way those artists would benefit.

Tattoos?

I have six so far: a lightning bolt for the time I spent in Scotland, an elephant for being Desi, one in Gallifreyan, one from Mad Max: Fury Road, a guillotine, and a Desi mermaid.

I have at least four more planned, at least.

Favourite color?

Purple.

Favorite type of music?

Honestly, it depends on my mood, but I don't think I have one type that like is preferred over others. Sometimes I wanna be emo, sometimes I wanna listen to rap, sometimes I want some girlypop, and then I need Punjabi beats, like you can't pin me down, baby!

Do you like puzzles?

Yah!

Any phobias?

I am afraid of snakes and drowning.

Favorite childhood sport?

Okay this is going to be such an American answer, but besides kickball, the one sport I loved to play was hockey on the scooters?

So you'd sit on these things right and then you'd play hockey on them and those were always my favorite days in gym class.

Do you talk to yourself?

For fucking sure. Its so much fun.

Tea or coffee?

Okay, if I want coffee, I want iced coffee and I need it from like the bodega or the cart because no one else gets my sugar to coffee to milk ratio right. I do not need a fancy cafe, gimme a corner iced coffee any day.

But I'm a chai girl all day everyday. I would have chai like three times a day most of the time. Its been cut down now to when I have time to do the whole making myself chai process. I'll make my own chai hot, but if I want an iced chai, I will splurge on a fancy cafe.

I'm also big into matcha.

And obviously bubble tea.

First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

I think there's historical data (my kindergarten yearbook) which states that I said I wanted to be a doctor, but I think that was just me at five years old giving the answer my parents wanted.

But my real answer is I wanted to be a judge. This was solely because of the OJ Simpson trial which I watched as it was broadcast on television. The plan was always to go to law school to eventually become a judge, it just evolved as I did.

What movies do you adore?

The Oceans Trilogy + Oceans Eight, Robin Williams Movies (Flubber, Jumnanji, Mrs. Doubtfire), Mad Max: Fury Road, Mighty Ducks Trilogy, Heavyweights, the Clue movie, Hasee Toh Phasee, Lord of the Rings Extended Trilogy, The Mummy...I'm sure there's more.

I shall tag my ERod lovers @forgottenflowers and @offside-the-lines and my fellow NicoJack braincell sharers @alpineshift and @solip1386 and @jonasiegenthaler and my new friend @whatthe-puck

[l-na]

white leftists are fucking crazy man! begging for revolution left and right but then when an actual revolution is happening they start hand wringing about the smallest of fucking details.

revolutions are messy. people die. "innocent"/actually innocent people die. revolutions are imperfect and usually have multiple groups of leftists with their own ideologies and own goals and they often fight each other too. its not a fucking walk in the park! do you think this is playing kickball on the playground or smth????

if you want a revolution and overthrowing of capitalism but arent prepared to get blood on your hands or see other people with blood on your hands, you dont want a revolution. you want the status quo but slightly left. you want some YA dystopian revolution novel bullshit.

please join us in the real world some day or stfu.

[roughentumble]

btw you know what concept i loveeeeeeee i love? john killing the yellow-eyed demon earlier in the timeline, and going to live with the milligans while dean and sam are still minors. and obviously brings his boys with him.

its so cheweyyyyyy its so juicyyyy like they wake up one day and are rold they have a BROTHER and their dad(<-based his entire life around being unable to move on from his dead wife) has actually had a girlfriend all along. theyre in a normal house watching their dad be normal and play kickball with a normal little kid who doesnt know how to shoot or identify a haunting or survive in the woods. and dean feels betrayed and confused because his whole life was hunting and trying to be his dad and now his dad is someone he doesnt recognize and surely he should be happy YED is dead and their mother is avenged, but who is he if he's not on the road? and sam is twisted up because all he ever wanted was a normal life but he's in a normal house and he still doesnt FIT, it doesnt feel RIGHT and its all like some sort of twisted mockery, this is what he always wanted so why does it make him feel SICK why does he RESENT it so much? they can act normal in the real world to keep from being questioned but they dont know how to behave in this house. adam is an innocent, adam is a betrayal, adam is treated right by their father as he /should/ be because he'd be a deadbeat otherwise, why does adam get only the good parts of their father when as the years dragged on it felt like they only got the bad? adam wants to know them, adam doesnt trust them, adam drew a picture of his new big step-brothers dont they want to see? they hate him. theyre neutral towards him. they feel obligated to care because he is their brother by blood, and for so long brother was a mantra that got them through everything. but is he brother? is he? brother means something else when it's lived-in, when it's battle-worn and soft with time

and KATE, kind enough to not try and be their mother because of their age, because of the situation, and still they bristle and yearn in equal measure. because they wanted mom but she wasnt mom, she's some stranger who's house they've invaded, theyre past the point of needing it but that means they need it more than ever but she ISNT "mom" she's just. some woman. and she's nice and her house is nice and they lived in shitty apartments and it isnt right to resent but they do, they resent the niceness while also looking down on it because what was so wrong with their life, huh? especially dean, the pride in it, in saving people and put up or shut up and follow orders and being strong. and now he has a bed and his own room, or perhaps shares with sam because there was only one spare room but each bed is a real bed. and what is he supposed to DO? he was going to hunt forever. he lived outside the world and was proud of it. what now? what now?

its sooooOoooOOOOOOO wild and i could keep going but i just.

[karisomk]

Dlala ibhola- Play Ball I was trying to make a short head canon on how Attuma is called Attuna by the local kids and where Okoye falls for him. Instead I made a one shot.

*Headcanon turned short story for Okoye x Attuma*

{{Attuma befriends locals and is  coaxed constantly into kickball  and plus allows them to call him Attuna instead of Attuma. This is the moment Okoye knows she is in love with Attuma. }}

Okoye had slowly begun to share her chores with Attuma, rather this was him tending to her garden or going into the Golden City to run errands for her or with her. A solid building of trust that had grown with one another and more in private.

The locals have become more accustomed to Attuma, his straightforward requests, and light pleasantries in Xhousa that he was still learning with the aid of Kimoyo beads. Compliments from Okoye who had convinced Shuri to make one for Attuma. Locals had suspected the former General had taken a liking to Attuma and vice versa. Seeing a smile graced her lips or her soft laughter heard around him. Those that wanted to voice their ill opinions didn't dare utter them in their presence or those that didn't mind them together. Okoye rarely smiled or had peace, some believed she deserved her peace and would protect it loudly.

The children had been wary at first but slowly began to swarm Attuma by the days he visited in town, after witnessing he was willing to join a kickball game because Okoye asked him to join her. But soon found himself enjoying it with the children and Okoye. Young children that stood no higher than his thighs hurried behind him. Circling him as he carried two large woven baskets on his shoulders, both filled to the brim with various items Okoye had requested.

"Attuna! Attuna, would you be able to play with us today pwease?" A little girl chimed while she strained her neck to look up at him while following. She beamed at him, flashing her dimples while batting her big brown eyes for she hoped he would fall for her puppy eyes again like yesterday. Her coily jet black hair was pulled into two puffs, stray hairs sticking to her temple due to the heat.

A young boy who sported a braided mohawk nudged the girl with a huff. "His name is A-TTU-MA, dummy. Its not Attuna. He’s not a fish well-err..! “ the boy glanced at Attuma uncertainty showing on his face before looking at the girl once more. “Anyway! Can't you see he's busy!" He said mildly scolding the girl who only puffed her cheeks out in response.

"Attuna. That's what I said."

"You dummy!"

"I am not a dummy!" The girl countered before a pushing match began between them and soon enough a chase. The other kids asked for Okoye while others flexed their muscles making their goal to be as strong as Attuma or strong as Okoye. Or both of them.

Attuma felt his right eye twitch even as he slowed, the children slowed and if he stopped they stopped as well. Patience. This is what Chacc had granted him and he used it well. Surface children were very similar to Talokan children except chasing was done while swimming. And sometimes he saw mussels used like rocks to be thrown at one another in Talokan. And in Talokan, the children were still wary of him due to him being the General. Here in the Golden city, children used rocks. Muds and shoes. Anything they can get their hands on really. To Attuma the Golden city children were clever little sea otter pups.

"Attuna! Help me! Eni is being mean to me!" the little girl whined while still running before she tripped.

"You're so annoying, Ranil!" the boy moved to kick dirt at her but only stopped to point at her and laugh. Attuma tilted his head at the two but grunted as he frowned, only moving to shift the woven baskets close to his chest before slowly lowering them to the ground. Careful not to spill any of the items. The children scattered some giving him room as he kneeled, "Paalalo'ob." Attuma said loud enough to get all of their attention. His Kimoyo beads glowed softly before saying the word children in xhousa outloud.

"Cálmense. Ma'alobech, Ranil?" (Calm yourselves. Are you well, Ranil?")

Attuma reached to help Ranil up, her small brown hand looked fragile and tinier than usual compared to his large bluish hand. Attuma shook his head at Eni, "You two are siblings. Learn from one another and help one another." he said, gesturing to them both. The gentle scolding worked as Eni gently began to wipe the dirt off Ranil's pants and top while muttering an apology that his kimoyo beads barely picked up. "Now, If I agree to a short match of kickball will that settle all of you?" he questioned. His beads could barely get out his question in Xhousa before all the children were jumping and cheering.

One match turned into two matches and three matches turned into tiebreakers that would not end.  He had told Okoye he would be back soon but now the sun was setting and Attuma still was not back yet. Each time he moved to depart he was merely dragged back into more games. The others had learned Ranil’s treacherous trick, all them doing their best sad puppy eyes pleading him to stay. Talokan’s best general being bested by a Wakandan children now.  ***

Worry began to settle in Okoye's chest for Attuma was never one to not communicate what he needed or if he needed to suddenly depart back to Talokan. She contacted him first on his kimoyo beads. As much she knew he detested them, she knew that he would still answer.�� After waiting for another moment or so, Okoye had taken her hoverbike back to the city to see if she could ask about Attuma or if she saw him. Normally she would walk or go by boat and just paddle back up river, but each moment that passed her worry began to deepen.  The loud hum of the bike did not stop her thoughts, nor the loud thumping of her heart as she sped on the dirt path. Dust and dirt swirled behind her. She knew Attuma could handle himself very well; she trusted Attuma, but who she didn’t trust was everyone else. Yes, the peace alliance held between nations and those around them seemed receptive to him. But there was always worry in the back of her mind, aiming to stay ready to steel her heart and protect what she had left to her. How quickly trust and friendliness could change she knew this very well. She slowed down once approaching the city, and moved to turn off the bike. Okoye stopped at her favorable shop dealers asking them about Attuma. Trying her best to shield the worry deep in her, she laughed nervously at small jokes on how he must be something for she can’t stay too far from him. By the third shop dealer and still no sight of Attuma, she was on the verge of contacting Shuri to help track him.

But two older kids hurried by her in the opposite direction excitedly chatting about kickball and how Attuma made the matches interesting today by having more older kids and more adults join today. Okoye followed the two, which led her to an open grassy plain that had drawn a small crowd of people. The loud cheering and chanting reminded Okoye of sparring matches. Adults that have joined looked serious, some even sweating from getting a work out from the kickball matches. The children were ecstatic, eagerly waiting and watching the match. Her worry melted away, as laughter bubbled up within her immediately. She stood towards the back but still watched wanting to see how this would turn out. The opposite team were at the makeshift pit that was considered safe and that was used to kick the ball into the plains while their team stood on all two bases. Second and first. Some got into position trying to out run all the way to home base once given the chance. But if they couldn’t atleast  they would try to make it to another base. The team Attuma got picked for were catchers in the field and on the bases as well. Attuma still stood out among everyone, because of his pale blue skin and stature. Though they were children, each tactic taught them how to work together to strike out the opposite team or catch them by hitting them with the ball. Attuma was simply someone who moved between them all. Passing the ball quickly, or using himself as a distraction to stop the other team to try to pick off the smaller teammates. Giving a brief huddle in the field to go over their plans of trying to win the game. “They will try to kick overhead so that none of you can not catch it to win. But it will be Ranil that will catch it. “ Attuma stated. “But she can not jump that high.” someone muttered with confusion. “Yes, but she can catch it and I will help her get it. Remember what I tell you all, just because you are small now does not mean you can’t do great things. You are warriors and fine teammates that can crush your opposing team” Attuma said with a determined nod. Attuma gave one more nod as his team released their best battle cry while spreading out in the plains. The chants had died down just in time as the ball was kicked overhead with a swift kick, Attuma darted while reaching for Ranil. He placed her on his shoulders while he jumped up several feet into the air towards the ball. Ranil caught the ball with a soft grunt and hugged the ball to her chest while Attuma held onto her. Cheers mixed with cries of disbelief surrounded them, some adults walking off in a huff. 

Attuma landed with ease, kneeling to let Ranil down carefully who was swarmed by her teammates almost instantly. Many of them yelled their battle cries again that looked humorously enough very similar to Attuma’s battle cry. “I did it! I did it! Did you see it?!” Ranil proudly proclaimed. Okoye smiled brightly while watching the group, how Attuma seemed to look proud among his teammates. Attuma offered his own faint smile giving a proud nod before turning to get the two woven baskets that were filled with Okoye’s items that had been placed aside. “General! Okoye! Okoye, did you see me?!” Ranil said running to her once Okoye moved closer to the group. She kneeled down beside Ranil giving a nod with a smile, “Little Ranil, I am not general anymore” she said softly. “But you have gotten so fast and you have such a sharp eye. I must say I may have to tell the Dora Miljae about you.” she said, petting her head before giving a wink. Though covered in grass and dirt, Ranil stood up straighter with a smile. Ranil giggled, “Thanks, Attuna for today!” Attuma nodded  as he straightened himself looking at Okoye with an apologetic look. The young girl ran off to her brother who had found their parents, the crowd slowly dispersing. “In akaljantik.” ( I am sorry.) Okoye shook her head while she moved to stand close, “You don’t need to be. I must admit I was worried when you didn’t come back,”she confessed. Attuma tilted his head, while Okoye sighed looking away from him. Cool fingers lightly grabbed her chin turning her gaze back to him, his gaze expecting her to explain. There was a pause before Okoye spoke in a quiet tone,“I immediately thought something bad had happened and I rushed here looking for you. For a moment I thought my people had wronged you.” “That I was preparing myself to defend you from any ridiculous accusations and here I find you playing ball with the children and my people.” she said with a slight chuckle. Attuma moved to place his temple against Okoye, his hand moving to rest behind her neck. The cool touch of Attuma’s skin calmed her, she enjoyed the touch. She was sure if Attuma didn’t have his mouth piece he would've kissed her then. Placing a slender hand on his chest, she pushed gently just to look back into his eyes. “You know what you did today will be a cherished memory for them. More so Eni and Ranil.” she said with a warm smile. She placed a kiss to his cheek before doing so again to his jaw, which Attuma hummed in approval. A deep rumble sound came from Attuma as he laughed, “I like them, they are very clever.  Cachorros k'áak'náabo' “. “ They will make fine warriors if they- do desire to become one later in life.” “Sea Pups.” His kimoyo beads repeated back in translation. “So A-tuna, eh?” Okoye questioned with a humored look. Attuma squinted his eyes but flashed his own playful grin, “Mm, yes. Only the great warriors Ranil and Eni are granted to say such a name.” Okoye sucked her teeth but playfully nudged him, “Yeah, okay A-tuna.”

[chronicbeans]

Uh. Sorry if it seems weird to ask but have you considered what would happen if Audrey 2 , from little shop of horrors has been put into the neighborhood in welcome home. I don't know if you have heard of it but I wanted to ask in case you did.

Of course! I love crossovers. Now, I haven't necessarily seen Little Shop of Horrors, but I did recognize the name from the dentist's song that I listened to. I also know a little about Audrey 2, who is the plant, I believe. So, I decided to do a bit of research for this, because from what I knew, I thought this would be interesting! Sorry if it isn't really entirely accurate or if some things feel out of character. As I said, I haven't seen it entirely myself, instead only seeing clips. (I did listen and watch Mean Green Mother and I now know I have to watch it at some point omg.)

Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors in the Neighborhood from Welcome Home:

TW: Swearing, Manipulation

🪴So, the Mean Green Mother from Outer Space somehow found itself in a land full of puppets... Very kind puppets... Who, by the way, seem VERY gullible due to being from a kid's show... It can work with this.

🪴It needs to get back to the world of humans, somehow, so it will gladly sweet talk and manipulate the neighbors into helping. It can't eat puppets, as they aren't human. It would probably say something about missing its home to make them feel bad for it. It would work on everyone except for Frank.

🪴Why wouldn't it work on Frank? Well, the way the language of his fellow neighbors changes is the main reason. Mostly Wally's, due to Wally spending the most time with Audrey 2. Due to Frank owning a lot of random books, he has some on different sayings, dialects, and other things to do with language. It seems like Audrey 2 has decided to cause havoc in the little community on its way out.

🪴One day, Frank saw Wally and Julie standing outside. Wally was holding a baseball bat, and right as Frank was walking by, he heard him tell Julie "I'm gonna bust your balls!" in the most joyful, and excited way. Needless to say, Frank choked on the air and had to go check to make sure nothing bad was happening. Wally looked extremely confused as Frank chastised him, pointing to Julie and saying "We are playing baseball. "Busting your balls" means hitting baseballs, kickballs, and other types of sports balls, right?" Soon enough, despite Frank trying to tell everyone what it really means, everybody in town is using "I'm gonna bust your balls" while playing sports.

🪴Another example is when Frank saw Wally comforting a sad Poppy over a burnt cake. Everyone had gathered to help her bake it, including Audrey 2. When Wally said "You don't mean shit!" in response to Poppy telling everyone how bad she felt for messing up the cake, Audrey 2 laughed so freaking hard. Wally, and everyone besides Frank, thinks it means something like "Shit means that you suck. Saying somebody doesn't mean shit means that they don't suck."

��Frank would probably put the two and two together. This foul language has only started after Audrey 2 came around and Audrey 2 already seems a bit rude at times. It always wants to do things its own way, or no way. It is more bossy than Sally when it comes to plays, likes to trip Eddie on his way to deliver mail, and it sometimes trashes Howdy's Store! Frank would be the main one working to get Audrey 2 back to wherever it came from, succeeding very quickly through sheer willpower, alone.

🪴Needless to say, the neighborhood was never the same after that plant arrived.

[glittertrail]

15 Questions | 15 people

Rules: Answer the 15 questions, then tag 15 people.

thank you matea @filmstar1997 💖

Are you named after anyone? yes, one of my mom's sister

When was the last time you cried? around epiphany day lol

Do you have kids? nope and i don't want them

Do you use sarcasm a lot? not very often

What is the first thing you notice about people? hmmm clothes and face

What color are your eyes? brown!

Scary movies or happy endings? everything has its time and place (happy endings)

Any special talents? being good at picking up languages and friendships, i think

Where were you born? caracas.

What are your hobbies? reading and walking around, i miss writing but lol i have no time

Do you have any pets? no :(

What sports do you play/have you played? i used to play in the kickball team when i was in hs lol but generally i don't like team sports, i was much more into dancing and then after hs i took up running

How tall are you? 166 cm

Favorite Subjects in School? foreign languages, art history and literature.

Dream Job? i am so tired by the idea of work right now lmao nothing atm

tagging @plegdoctor @myhusbandharryhamilton @junosjukebox @dawningofdrag @jackredfieldwasmyjacob @goldenliartrash @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney @vivianvanderpusss @baldwinpdf @minglana @musicallisto @sweetestberryofthebunch @milk-caramel @pollydrawingthings @palominojacoby @gardenarcana @amillcitygirl

[tobiasdrake]

It was a relaxing vacation but it's time to refocus on what's important.

No more excuses PLAY ME

I'm going to destroy you like the scrub you are

Oh my god, your pieces are custom painted. I love that. I wish mine were painted.

...wait, can I paint them? Have I been missing out on painting my pieces this whole time?

HAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE BEST AT TINY WARRIOR FIGURINES

...

...

...

What the actual fuck am I doing? Don't I have a... an entire atmosphere to try and repair....

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit I BLAME YOU YOLANDE YOU PAID ME IN GAMBLING ADDICTION shit shit shit shit

I'M HERE IT'S FINE EVERYTHING'S FINE

I'm not late. All-a y'all are early. The meeting was scheduled for whenever I get there. I'm here now, I'm focused, we can get to work.

Hey Serai, am I hungry enough for Wall Sashimi? I'm thinking... maybe just a Wall Parfait for a light snack.

Still don't see why I have to give the wall money. What does it even buy with it? It's a wall.

*sigh* You know what, you're right. That's really more of a question for Zale. HEY ZALE, HOW HUNGRY AM I?

Ugh, this is taking forever. I'm bored. Come on, Zale, let's take Kickball and--

...

Did. Uh. Did we....

Did we just. Leave Kickball at Clockwork Castle? I think we all kind of forgot about Kickball in the Artificer commotion.

Wow, it's a good thing none of us promised them anything.

I did want to make something rain there but this is good enough. As long as we're accomplishing something, I can be satisfied with only a mild amount of spite.

Good for you! I still feel like shit.

Job's only half-finished, and the important half is yet to come. Also, the hard part, given that I'm fairly certain the Dweller of Dread is guarding my moon.

Still coming to terms with the fact that we may need to slay a Dweller in order to restore the Eclipse and give us the power to slay a Dweller. There's a pretty significant complication there.

Go ahead and take this victory lap, little frog robo. We couldn't have done it without you.

Also, the way Serai manages to smile with just her eyes is awesome.

I'm not 100% sure that simply shining sunlight directly onto the moon counts as an Eclipse but I sort of feel like it does and that's good enough. Let's go cleansing.

Probably wasn't expecting visitors on this dead world.

Then again, we did just shine sunlight directly on its lair for the first time in centuries so it probably knew something was about to go down.

GUESS WE'RE DOING THIS

Remember, the more limbs we dismember now, the less we'll have to deal with later.

Just like that. We're making calamari, people.

Teach them to interfere with a peaceful protest. We're here to FREE LUNA and we aren't leaving until our demands our met!

Give. Me. Back. My. Goddamn. MOON.

...or else we'll bring the sun to you.

Sometimes you just need to get creative. There is not technically a term for when the sun is between the moon and earth. Because that's not a thing. But that just means I get to name it.

This is a Zalian Eclipse. What do you have to say about that, huh!?

Okay, that's fair. I walked right into that.

Hold up, what's happening now? Is this... are we....

I. Guess. This answers my question of whether the Fuck Out Of My Head Juice is still in effect. This is concerning. Do I... should I....

...wait a second, that's not ZALE!

Zale's sword is red. I was thinking about how pretty it looks the other day when we were fighting bird people. *smug*

Okay, I'm officially done with this weirdass shit.

IN THE NAME OF THE MOON

I'LL PUNISH YOU

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Enemies to Lovers (10) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine

A Stolen Ring (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why?

He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.

a theism in evolution (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: The sungod, Phil, sends letters to Mother Gaia. He puts all his worries into words… even when he himself can't see right through them

Back To Zero (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: One weekend, one house, five people, a recent breakup; Dan wasn't exactly thrilled, but he was going to show up for his friend, even if it meant having to share a bed with a stupid guy that sided with the even stupider guy that broke his friend's heart.

it comes in waves (ao3) - sadlybunny

Summary: Dan trembles in his seat. “And- and what shall I call you?”

He moves his thumb to grip at Dan’s chin roughly. “Captain.” His face inches closer. “Or on very special occasions, Captain Lester, sir.”

It’s 1728 in Port Royal, Jamaica. Daniel Howell, the son of Governor Howell, is engaged to be married to a woman he has never met. The night of their betrothal, Daniel is kidnapped by swashbuckling pirate captain, Philip Lester. As Dan learns about pirate life on the Liberty Galley, he discovers things about himself that he never knew before. Maybe he doesn’t want to return to his father, after all.

Kick Me While I'm Down (ao3) - jerseker

Summary: Dan and Phil meet in an adult kickball league. Phil is just there to make friends. Dan is - not.

Lonely in Conflict, Cast as a Convict (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Dan is a vampire who can’t remember how it feels not to be lonely. Phil is a vampire hunter living in his brother’s shadow.

When they meet, they find acceptance in each other that they don’t find anywhere else, but there are secrets and other forces at play trying to keep them apart.

Oswald (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Dan is an asshole, Phil goes through a tragic accident, and this somehow brings them together.

Also Phil owns a pancake restaurant.

Our House (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Enemy is a harsh word. Rival sounds so immature, like Dan’s the star of some teen drama on Netflix. Competition is close, but not quite there.

In simple terms, Dan has a distaste for Phil Lester. Otherwise known as AmazingPhil in their line of business, for some reason that’s beyond Dan. What makes him so amazing anyway?

There’s a reason the network wanted Daniel Howell and Phil Lester for this specific series, and Dan guesses there’s really only one way to find out that answer.

or

And they were co-hosts. Oh my god they were co-hosts.

Redemption Arc (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summaries: classic, slightly dramatic rags to riches au

santa pally (santa baby) (ao3) - huphilpuffs

Summary: Phil grabs the first name off the top and hands the pot over. His hands are shaking when he unfolds it and– well fuck.

There, in Mr. Fowler’s familiar print, is written: Dan Howell.

scratch bark bite (oh, love me, i lied) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Music & Drama teacher Dan Howell has a well-known rivalry with his coworker, English teacher Phil Lester.

An unforeseen event flips everything Dan thought he knew about Phil and himself on its head. Slowly but surely, the grudge withers, and the two of them cross the line between enemy and friend. But what will happen when their true intents and feelings get revealed? And was what they had ever really a rivalry? Was it even mutual?

"Seriously?" (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dan and Phil meet while candle shopping and one of them can't help but comment on how obnoxious/boring/etc the scents the other one is picking out are

-

the time Phil met a totally-not-handsome stranger and only sort-of wished they'd never meet again. Tough luck?

Servus Sanesco Sanctimonia (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: After Phil casts an unknown spell, he finds himself unable to stay away from his sworn enemy - quite literally.

snowdrops and second chances (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: A tale of the prince who set out to rid his kingdom of magic and the healing witch who found him.

strike a deal, kiss my lips (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Witches were the only magical beings capable of binding and controlling demons. It required a complicated ritual and crazy amounts of magic.

It happening on accident was practically unheard of until Phil came along and got tangled up with a snarky and dangerous demon named Dan. Suddenly bound together, Phil must grapple with control over a chaotic demon that wants to strip the skin from his bones.

And maybe strip the clothes off of his body as well.

The Problem With Travelling During The Holidays (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan is in a tricky situation, running to catch his connecting flight with no other than his annoying enemy right on his heels. If he could just get on the plane and be away from Lester that would save Christmas.

Luckily for Dan, things don't tend to go his way.

To Dwell on Dreams (ao3) - carltzmann

Summary: "Taking in the whole image, though, it hardly hurt. Watching this perfect version of himself smile and wave and talk to his friends, bathing in success and appreciation, Dan suddenly started to believe that maybe all that was possible, even with the confirmation of a terrifying secret."

Dan and Phil meet at the Mirror of Erised.

you say go fast, i say hold on tight (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: He's Phil Lester, small independent bookshop owner, who wears graphic t-shirts and drinks too much coffee. That's it.

Except when it isn't.

In which Phil is sometimes a bookshop owner and sometimes a superhero, and Dan is a villain, of sorts.

Your Crowning Glory (ao3) - pasteldanhowells, rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan is 18 years old when the news is suddenly sprung upon him that he is next line to be the next king of Genovia, but things don’t go as smoothly as he thought, between having a suddenly busy schedule, a new lifestyle, an arranged marriage that Dan has no control over, and worst of all, Philip Lester trying to steal his crown.

[catgirltitties]

Tagged by @mispronouncing-michaelangelo 15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone? I am! My first name TaIanivaIu is a Samoan royal name that was given to my great grandfather, so I'm the 4th! It was like created for the man too, so i'm the only person thats supposed to have the name. My name Ea is Hawaiian for free spirit, but its not after someone else.

2. When was the last time you cried? That fucking sappy Halo character saying nice things to you that I got mini viral off of came across my dash again and it made me cry LOL.

3. Do you have kids? No, but id like to one day

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not too much but when i do i make it pretty obvious that im not serious

5. What sports do you play/have you played? I played a lot of peewee sports, flag football, basketball, soccer, and i played for the best high school water polo team in the US. Right now im in a rec league for basketball, softball, and football, and previously did competitive kickball! My friends call me a jock hehe

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? Eyes and hair (my favorite!)

7. Eye colour? Dark Brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings sweep!!!!

9. Any special talents? can dance and sing and uhh put my leg over my head

10. Where were you born? Los Angeles county CA

11. What are your hobbies? Nerd shit Jock shit and suckin off women

12. Do you have any pets? Nope :(

13. How tall are you? Idk but prolly 5'11

14. Fave subject in school? Philosophy hehe

15. Dream job? Music video post production director

I tag uhhhhh @biggum @fresh2definitely @coccolithophore @flowerygraves @myopicmickey for this. Reply if you wanna do this and i'll edit you into the post so you can be tagged >:)

[mightyflamethrower]

Public schools are a lot different today than they were years ago. In the old days, Christian kids could blend right in with the crowd at public schools. Today? Not so much. God-fearing, Bible-believing kids tend to stick out like sore thumbs at school these days.

How easy is it to spot them? The Babylon Bee is here with a list of dead giveaways.

They do this weird thing where they close their eyes and fold their hands before eating lunch: Suspicious!

They have zero holes in their face, their hair isn't rainbow colored, and you can confidently tell their gender: Total Jesus freak.

They point to the sky after booting a home run in kickball: We see you, Timmy!

They ask the band director if they can play the hand bell: That one's a freebie.

Uses bigoted phrases like "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir": The nerve of these Christian kids!

Always wearing a "Kirk Cameron Rulz" T-shirt: Guaranteed to believe Jesus rules.

Politely asks if they can learn about math instead of gender theory: That's got Christian written all over it.

Parent-teacher conference has to be called because they keep baptizing other students in the school pool: A big clue!

There you have it. If you notice any kids at your school fitting the description of the items listed above, you'll know you're really with one of those Jesus Freaks!

NOT SATIRE: Empower your faith and make a bold statement this Bring Your Bible to School Day! On the first Thursday of October, students across the nation come together to celebrate their right to express their beliefs in a powerful way. Unite with fellow believers and share the joy of knowing Christ in your classrooms and hallways.

Discover the magic of the Bible's timeless wisdom and let its words guide your conversations, ignite your imagination, and inspire you towards a path of knowledge and compassion.

Together, let's illuminate our schools with the radiance of the Bible's teachings. Don't forget — mark your calendar and bring your Bible to school!

This is your day to shine. Share the Word. Inspire the World. #BringYourBible