#its just the expression wasnt what i was trying to improve

[goosegooserevolution]

this art improvement in a month is CRAZYYYY

[dyqo]

i first tried to draw them in early march of 2022 and from then until june of the same year i drew them a total of four times including that first one before not attempting it again for another year and a half, when i finalized their design in september of 2023 after which i became insane and entered a trancelike state that i have yet to surface from

unrelated what the hell is spellcheck talking about . why would that be at all what i was trying to say are you stupid

[cyberskulzzz]

In honor of me moving and not having wifi the last three days I made this while I was gone:

Moving in with Rodrick Heffley Headcanons!🎀

(not proof read)

Prompt: After years of touring together, you and Rodrick finally move into your first stable home.And you two try to find compromises on your decor styles. 

(You’re both in your twenties now. Think grunge/punk x coquette/girly vibes,iykyk.)

•Obviously Rodrick lives for his subculture its not just his style, it’s self expression. While you’ve lived together on tour, moving into a real apartment together feels completely different,you quickly notice the clashing of your guys’s visions for your home. 

•This is the first time since high school that either of you has had a stable place to call home,not couch surfing or living out of suitcases. 

•So to prepare you sat down together and made a list of what your new place needed,separating responsibilities for furniture and decor to each of you. 

•Now the actual clash,Rodrick assumed your decorating style would stay simple, like it was used to be on the road,mostly black and leather,with a few pink accents here and there to bring in your personality. However now that you guys had that rockstar budget and you could buy your whole ass pinterrest board,you were way to excited to not do so. 

•But when you came home and he saw the boxes filled with bows, pastel furniture,and candles, he was visibly overwhelmed.

•“Don’t you think this is a bit much?”

“I don’t fuck with pink that much, babe.”

“We don’t need, like, twenty bows in one place. Not even Santa’s elves have that many yk.“

•But before you could respond annoyed,you noticed his decor piled by the door: thrifted, torn items he’d collected over the years. Leopard print blankets, a beat-up leather couch, a black table covered in graffiti and stickers, and a few lava lamps.

•The two of you argued for about 30 minutes before Rodrick,got fed up

•: “Let’s just put everything up and see how it looks. If it’s terrible, we’ll fix it.”

•You agreed,mostly hoping your style would take over the atmosphere if you decorated faster.

•Luckily the feared clashing of your styles wasnt bad at all,to your surprise. 

The apartment ended up looking like a chaotic mix of grunge and coquette.Your Yankee candles sat next to his record player, your novels next to his cds.

•Rodrick hated the pile of decorative pillows on your bed. When he found out they were “just for decor” and needed to be put off the bed every night, he lost it. Your bedtime routine didn’t help either: silk sheets, incense sticks, humidifiers, and meditative audiobooks. It drove him crazy,at first. But after the first time you gave him a sheet mask and a skincare session, he was asleep in minutes. Now, he doesn’t mind the routine,as long as he’s included. 

•Rodrick is surprisingly chill about letting you take over the kitchen and bathroom essentials. He couldn’t care less if he’s drinking out of a hello kitty mug or drying off with a pink towel after showering.We know damn well that man is comfortable in his masculinity. 

•Rodrick is an excellent host,being used to having many people around on tour.Your friends, family, and band members always feel welcome,sometimes even overstay their welcome. There’s ALWAYS someone around on the weekends.  You two have a whiteboard by the door where guests can scribble little messages or doodles. Next to it is a Polaroid wall, filled with pictures of you and Rodrick from all the way back in high school. 

•The guest room doubles as a writing/home studio.Rodrick often disappears to “work,” but you know he’s just messing around on his drums half the time,needing to clear his head. 

•You constantly have to remind him of things like throwing away trash or closing the toothpaste. (Susan is so thankful for you when she sees the improvement lol.)

•It’s a little messy, a little chaotic, but filled with love and you couldn’t care less. 

[wtfforged]

how are your shapes so good. does it just come to you naturally or do you have some super secret resource or what? i love your shape language and i'm gonna try to improve mine so if you have any tips that would be greatly appreciated 👍although i get youve been drawing for a while and this stuff can kind of just be ingrained into you so if you cant really think of any thats fine too. love your art!!

HI THANK YOU i went on a super rant so im gonna hide it all under a read more lol

it does come a bit more naturally to me just because i dont really understand how to draw things WITHOUT breaking them down into shapes (especially since i was drawing robots for so long lol), but i also think my artstyle just naturally got more shapey as i tried to have more fun with art and especially as i started incorporating what i enjoyed from artists i like. an obvious example would be oda's art throughout one piece since i genuinely do think my art took a big positive turn as i started reading it lolol. i have so many screenshots of panels i enjoyed or thought looked cool cause he really is just a master at it all- i especially like the way he uses the line of action, shapes, motion, and expressions, and try to study them a lot. i also looked at some of my favorite artists, like bucketofrobots, monstyra, estridd, aciescoutex, or onebadnoodle to name a few who inspired me. Dont tattle on me btw this is our secret.

so first tip is just See how others be doing it. but that can be for literally anything in art not just shape- thats just how i started. im a very monkey see monkey do kind of person

second tip! is literally to break stuff down into their simplest shapes and action lines. which sounds redundant tbh when i type it out but i mean it. simplify things down to their bare components- especially with the parts you want to emphasize in mind- before you build on them (if you build on them at all ofc). heres some examples of some of my sketches when i do make them, and some with outlines for ones that i wasnt super clear/clean about. i literally will block out and break down the forms into simple shapes, even using lasso tool like in the second image first (especially if i really dont know what to draw pose-wise). sorry a lot of these i was playing with perspective but those or drawings where i have a very specific or difficult pose in mind are just the only pieces where i actually have a sketch layer instead of just jumping right to coloring my sketch which is what i do most of the time

and when i say "parts you want to emphasize", im thinking especially with motion or certain parts of a characters design, like really pushing those shapes so that its visually clear What Is Going On. for example, in the 1st sketch above, i wanted to emphasize that zoro was like, sliding in and about to unsheathe his sword in a really cool combat-y pose. or in the 2nd sketch, the character is supposed to be sort of mid-jump so i left some space around him and exaggerated that movement, as well as his thing being that he has cool giant punch-y gauntlets and is probably about to punch some baddie, so i put that right in the camera. and the third is the same, i wanted to exaggerate the running movement as well as the creepy hand since those are important to that character. and here in this fourth image below i wanted to emphasize one character being too pushy and overly friendly, while the other is very uncomfortable about it, so i really played with one leaning into the other and the other leaning away, etc etc you get the idea for the rest of the examples that i redlined.

im sorry if this doesnt make much sense or is hard to read because its too wordy. im not very good at wording stuff right especially with explaining my thought processes. im a bit too much of an instinct type person so it feels like when i explain stuff i just go "and then you go bwaaahhh! and booom! and babam!! and thats how i do it".

so if this sucked heres a post by EtheringtonBros thats kinda similar to what im saying, and a youtube video from fourleafisland that also, is kinda similar to what im saying and has very good points!!!!!!

thank you again!!!!!! sorry this was so long. hell i even wish it was longer just bc i really wanted to include some aforementioned oda screenshots but i got embarrassed of how many of them were just zoro and gave up on searching and i didnt wanna take much longer on this cause im already late to gaming with friends help. just open the manga yourself and look at whenever he draws sanji or luffy. theyre both extremely shape.

[melk-maid]

jumping at everyones feet hi hello hey!!!!! im back (its been a day and a half) i need to start listening to my brain when it tries to tell me to relax and take a break while also telling me im actually the laziest and worst person in the world if i do take a break but lmao im feeling better i touched grass i spent the day with hubby before he went back to work today im in a better brain space!!!

gonna like not necessarily vent but just word vomit a bunch of thoughts and feelings i was going through in terms of writing bcos it always makes me feel better and a little less alone talking to other writers/artists bcos ik its a constant battle and whatever but yeah ignore the read more if ur not interested!!!!

gonna try and respond to messages and be a normal person in society 💃

ik its something that i will always accidentally fall back into if i let myself and its inevitable esp with the way socmed is atm and with the horrific rise of ai and fandom being so weirdly competitve if u look in the broad areas outside of a carefully curated bubble it is SO incredible disheartening LMAO but i fell back into the idea of like, # of likes = good or bad and my constant issue of my writing being good = my self worth is good if that makes sense lmao like tying my self worth to the fics i write and how well they do online

like yeah it still is an issue and disheartening not getting feedback and just seeing tons of likes from ageless blank blogs that are slop and probably bots and probably kids and its like a hydra you block 1 and 5 more appear and its never ending and its so so tiring when you see all that and dont get any reblogs or even nice comments/tags or any kind of worthy feedback

but while i do normally get anxious writing fluff anyway, i was already tipping into the pool of # of likes = self worth and i was literally dreading writing fics and having to convince myself and talk myself out of believing that my fics are dog shit, no ones gonna like them because i wasnt getting the feedback otherwise which is where ive been before and it was hell lmao

im coming back now with more the attitude that i do actually believe that if EYE like it who cares and to trust myself, that my brain is always going to be so so very evil to me at all times because im severely mentally ill and if i listened to everything my brain told me i would have 💀 myself by now so ukno lmao im trying to be better at cherishing and appreciating the comments and tags i DO get and especially friends feedback and their comments rather than being upset over not having an abundance ive never had and never will get bcos of the fandom economy and shit and reminding myself that those who are interested in the fic will like it, even if its not for the masses, one person is most likely going to read it and its going to be their favourite fic ever and thats worth more than thousands of likes on tumblr dot com

idk this really is a word vomit lmao i write for myself and yes, i can always improve, but harshly criticising myself and being sad over my writing about things i dont know how to/cannot fix isn't going to make my writing any better or make me like my own works!!! if i wanted to amass thousands of notes on a fic i wouldnt have to put so much energy and attention into what i write, i'd just have to slap together a couple of paragraphs of the most vague and generic smut imaginable, call it an imagine and list the top 10 most popular anime characters right now and watch the soulless likes roll in just to feel like im worth something and thats not why i write!!!! i write because im creative and i love the characters and i love stories and i love sharing these stories and i love coming up with new and creative ways to tell them and to express a story and explore them, not to search through twt for porn videos and link 50 of them in a 10 most popular characters post so a bunch of brain rotted minors can like the post!!!!!

i just am reminding myself that numbers doesnt mean something is good, numbers doesnt mean EYE am good or worth anything or that my fics are enjoyable, as long as EYE enjoy what i am writing, that's more than enough of a reason to do what i do and if other people also enjoy it then that's a bonus!!!!

sorry if u read this far and my insane ramblings i need to go take my meds i missed yesterday and try and finish this megumi fluff fic lmao <3

[quigzahhutt]

um hey hi hello how are you doing on this fine day my dude (struggling how to type normally bc i JUST woke up from a nap and i should really be restrained from my phone)

so um i wanted to ask for a trick or treat if you wouldn't mind!

BUT i did also want to give you a little treat myself if i may :)

so when you reblogged and put in the tags that your favourite fic is 'please turn those headlights around' but it's your least popular and obviously i had to RUN to read it and i unfortunately cannot say anything remotely intelligent in my 'still in bed' state of mind but im literally sobbing while typing this. i fear you have made a lump in my throat that will never go away and every time i try and swallow i'll feel it as a constant reminder of sorts of the devastating beauty that is your writing. like everything abt it. as of rn it feels like its been FOREVER since the logan news dropped (its been like 2 months) but reading this made me go right back to that very day purely bc of how well you captured the emotions. and the way logan was feeling SO MUCH and you still managed to fit it in all there like what can't you do bro???? like ur literally so cool omg. and. and. and the way logan's mind looked so empty but at the same time so much was going on and just yeah like i cant really describe it properly but YEAH. and also first time switching, that's so scary but you still managed to subtly weave it so beautifully in this narrative with the little awkwardness and apprehension with alex, they were so raw and vulnerable and honest with eo emotionally and physically in this SOB im gonna start crying again. AND the way the sex in the smut bit, it like basically represented, it wasnt just sex, it was also like a little symbol of like his ability???? and his own attitudes towards things in his life (his racing)???? like how when it said smth like 'gathering more data to improve his performance, ensuring a chance at a better finish.' or how he gets 'one track minded'. it's just. alot. yeah. ur like so super duper smart bro. yeah this piece of writing is like fucking poetry man i was literally reading a poem please hang it in the louvre and everything. never die pls and thanks. BYE sorry that was so long SOB

i hope you have a lovely day/night 💕

oh my word, FIRST OF ALL. THANK YOU? this inspired me to go reread it and it reminded me just how proud I am of that fic so THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kind words on it. it's to this day one of my favorite pieces of work I've done ever and it has always bummed me out that it's my second least popular fic bcuz it's very dear to me, so hearing you say all this is just like. very very validating THANK YOU!!

because you have been so kind, you get an extra long and extra sweet treat from the 3rd part of Outgoing call! (which I will hopefully have finished . Soon) :)

Once he finally drags himself from bed and freshens up, Logan is already giving him an amused smile from the couch, the same one he would always give Alex when he was doing something unabashedly stupid, a slip of the fine-tuned and smug identity that Logan so carefully constructed. “What,” Alex deadpans, rounding the corner and trudging his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring at the flickering innards like it'll magically give him all the answers to life. “What, I don't get a good morning?” Logan snarks, and Alex can hear the suppressed laugh in his voice. Alex has to fight with himself to keep a neutral face as he turns around, mindful not to let all his sickly sweet feelings translate into his expression. “What, will you want a kiss, too?” Alex retorts, pouring himself a glass of orange juice (Florida grown, the bottle proudly declares), his joints still stiff and not quite awake yet. Logan falls unusually quiet. He had been the one to start this whole interaction, and yet now he's freezing up. Alex chances a look at him, and finds Logan chewing the silky insides of his bottom lip, his eyes trained intensely on the juice and the way it sluices around the glass as Alex takes a calculated sip. There's a flush on his cheeks, and he finally forces his eyes away once he notices how purposeful Alex is being.

ahhh again thank you so much it actually means the world to me to hear such kind words :((❤️

send me a trick or treat and I'll surprise you with a trick or a treat ;)

[keepingthehopealive]

EMDR session 4

ET- emdr therapist

PT- main therapist

K- therapist from my teens with the traumatic termination

Im sure ET saw this session as a "success" because we actually did an EMDR exercise, but despite that, I experienced the freeze a lot worse than I have in the previous sessions and there was still so much I couldnt do and didnt do good enough. She brought up the idea of exploring things with curiousity versus judgement and shame and thats the theme she wants to go with in the processing work.

We tried to do an exercise where I had the "inner critic" comfortable in its own room and kind of put aside so we could get to what else was I was feeling. I find any visualization things like this challenging to begin with but did try to do it. When we got back to the question of what I was feeling it was still shame and judgement and nothing else, so we moved on at that point. Later in the session, a few times we did get beyond it and I identified three other things that are there which were fears, grief and anger. 

ET's go to questions are- How does it feel in your body when I say/ask this and how old is that part or that feeling. Trying to answer questions more from my body and less from my head, feels more genuine, and i recognize how quickly the defenses or protective parts and cognitive spirals step in. I asked her a few times to actually repeat questions so I could try to answer them before I spiral too much or get sucked into the shame and judgement feelings. Its a goal I should have with PT but the fear triggered is the "too much".

It also feels shameful, even if accurate, that most of the time when im trying to "age" a feeling or experience, it feels really young. We talked about the example of hating my body and how that goes back as far as I can remember.

 (I did not communicate this to ET) but It triggers the cascade of defenses or shame: your childhood wasnt bad (you were just bad), youre just being dramatic and trying to create reasons that dont exist, you werent abused or neglected, my mom is good and did better than her parents, *my sister* doesnt have these issues so it has to be my fault etc.

ET asked it a few times; 1 was about PT and how it would feel to get reassurance contrary to the abandonment fears. She was asking more particularly if things improve does that trigger the fear of PT leaving or the work ending, but it goes both ways, which makes it feel more paralyzing. I said I feel it as constriction and tightness and the freeze. I also know PT constantly are giving me this reassurance and that PT tries not to at the same time because I was so aggressive from the start that I dont want any false reassurance and only want genuineness, which is a negative reaction. 

The 2nd time she asked was when we were talking about my relationship with my mom and she asked what it would feel like to think about not talking to her or calling her everyday. The answer was basically the same with my body feeling tightness and freezing in that. I also felt, but didnt say or express in the moment with ET, the overwhelming "that would end badly" (for my mom), like I need to protect her and make sure shes OK, that im there for her. ET talked about how me being able to set boundaries might actually lead to the positive shifts in the relationship and dynamic. I dont know if I believe it or can do it. I feel pretty confident that my mom wont do the work to change or even fully acknowledge her role and accountability in anything. It feels easier (and a million times harder) to just leave it as is. 

The 3rd time the question came up was in regards to K and what it would feel like to decrease the level of distress with those memories and feelings. We were both suprised by my answer that if it was possible, it would feel like a release in my body to bring that distress down. I know how much it affects my therapy and my life still, which causes so much shame. Which is especially loud with PT and the freeze and transference. 

We did an EMDR flash technique exercise with the memory of the termination session with K.  I wasnt able to pat my legs which was supposed to be part of it but it was me looking at pictures on my phone of the puppies and *work baby* and talking about that and then ET would instruct me to blink and then occasionally very quickly think about the memory and see where my body was in terms of distress. We didnt do it that long and I started feeling the distress as a 9 and by the end was more like a 5, as long as I didnt think about it long. 

After a couple minutes of it, I was feeling it super intensely frozen and had to stop and really collapse to try to feel safe. It was the normal freeze and collapse but also felt like my body was feeling what I did the termination session which was shameful, pathetic and painful. ET tried to get me back to looking at the pictures or some engagement but then also just tried to see what I needed in the moment. She moved away, even all the way to her waiting room to see if that would help me get out of it, which it didnt. She commented that the freeze isnt dissociation and that I was really stuck between hypo and hyperarousal because I was hyperventilating while also being curled up and stuck. I explicitly asked for reassurance or the "answer" of how we move forward from it and she talked about the intention being to bring the distress down enough where we can process it more (with actual EMDR processing) and that can be the next steps. I dont believe the activation or distress will ever get to a 0 (ET does, but said we dont have to do that either if I dont want it to go completely away), even if part of me really does want that. 

The end she talked about trying to contain some of this stuff until next time I see her which isnt until the end of the month (5 weeks total). Mostly in regards to K since we did that processing towards the end of our session. 

[hopeheartfilia]

im doing very smart very emoitonaly adjusted people things

(rewatching voltron)

and like damn id forgotten shiros eyeliner was so on point, but also netflix apparently doesnt let you screenshot so thats what ive got

honestly im considering watching it on some less then legal streaming platform just because of that, i wanted pictures of the sillies

Their first flight simulation is just. Yeah thats hoe you fail an assignment on all accounts, lance Is unserious in a " eyes on the road when you drive please"way. Like okay the hunk thing that happens but also, first of all please get that guy some dimenhydrinate, seconf of all thats like excusable friend behaviour, but it id leave hunk unable to fix the problem that arose, which eh shitty luck. However the turn? Uhhh yeah not good. And also in a situation i do think it was

there are things to be improved on all accounts, however id start with " Kid dont look away while driving, thats driving 101" and continue with "keep in mind that you should put all necessary equipment where it is easily accessible before takeoff, as standard presets do not account well for variations in height" which of course as its a simulation she minght not have been able to do, so its just somethibg to keep in mind for actual situations, but most imprtantly id really go for "if you experience motion sickness please go to the nurse to talk about ways to minimize that in the future"

but i know iverson isnt gonna say any of that

from what i remember, he wasnt really big on actually teaching the kids very well. Also they do need better communication skills in this one

Lance isnt listening very well, pidge isnt talking very well, hunk is indisposed so thats excusable, but like You can see tension that needs to be adressed between those two about more effective communication and decision making as a team and all of that that frankly im not sure if it ever got adresses properly

Yeah I know Im over analysing the fuck out of that scene, its just that thinking about it this bitch got references sooo often

and like im having takes i hadnt seen for a bit. Yeah Lances decision is arrogant in this scene. He is my favourite pookie babygirl whatever but i dunno

i have theories, i think hes trying to rush it and be blasé about it, probably due to feeling inferior, which yeah inferiority complexes often express as dumb arrogant sorta recless actions in an attempt to overcompensate

like im not sure what the goal of the mission was but id assume its you know. resque mission. but you see the You have to put on your airbag first in a plane crash logic, it doesnt help anyone to crash into the moon, but i dont think that lance could accept to fail the assignment by not finishing their resque mission, which ultimately makes them fail worse, because its risky

hunk is having a bit of a medical emergency, this is not on him per say and i wonder if the garrison offers adequate medical support for things like that, which arent serious but could interfere with the students performances, or if they just ignore it untill they cabt, kick out the students that dont "keep up" and get some new ones because they see them as disposable

[averoonie]

Where am i in life?

I wish i knew what trajectory i wanted to go for sure. Im not good at most of the touchy feely stuff since i rarely ever divulge how i feel on a deep complex level. I just say, "im sad because of XYZ" or "Im not doing so good" Like i dont understand why i cant totally explore my emotions on a basis that lets me feel like i've explained them on a more complete level. I want to be able to express myself in better ways than i can now. like im anxious because i start secondary schooling soon. im anxious because i might end up failing so hard i just work myself to death. i know those are normal feelings to have but for some reason i feel bad for having them. I wish that i could process them "normally" or as normally as anyone can really. things are in a difficult spot right now. i do understand they will get better at some point, i just with that point was now. there shouldnt be an extended wait period that i've been in the waiting line forever for. Im putting more effort to reach that area i want to be in but its gonna take forever if these setbacks keep happening increasingly like they have been. but i didnt even answer my original question. "Where am i in life?" Right now? Im just a guy trying to make it like millions of others. Im just making what i have work even if it isnt desirable. Im just a guy who's trying to find the little things in life to make myself any semblance of happy. Maybe all the wrong doings ive done are coming back to prevent that. i've been a better person than who i used to be. at least i think i am. i wish i could see how people see me. the good, the bad. the ugly. especially the ugly. i need to see how and where i can improve. i need to be better. i have to be. in order to feel okay with myself. i know ive ruined things for others. i know i've been petty or mean. i want to make up for it. its not their fault i made mistakes. its not their fault ***i*** was a mistake. and no i dont mean that in the self depreciative way. i know i wasnt planned, sure my parents "love" me. in whatever way they know how to show it. they're not perfect. neither am i. i want to be perfect, but as desirable as it is. its unobtainable. im working myself to the bone right now, two jobs, schooling and then taking care of my siblings when i arrive home. a large amount of responsibilities. how do i do it? bottle it all up, pretend like the overwhelming amount of sadness isnt there and let it out when im alone or late at night when everyone is sleeping. if anyone is reading what i, an idiot on the internet has to say, Im sorry that it took a sadder turn. its one of those nights. hopefully it gets better soon.

[mygladur]

guess its time for me to try and explain myself again

first off, I want you to know that I am trying to improve myself and move on from what I did. I cant express with words how much I regret it and how guilty I feel for causing this damage. I will have to wait until the end of summer to talk to a therapist unfortunately, but I am doing my best to improve on my own until then. I know I cant undo what I've done, but I can at least learn and try to improve myself based on my past mistakes.

I really have no excuse for lying about my age, it was a really bad move that I should not have done at all. at the time, I thought being hypersexual was a good reason for it, but it absolutely is not. being hypersexual does not excuse low impulse control.

the proship thing is what I regret most about this, and I understand why people cant forgive me for it. the best I can do is explain how I got into that, and why I've now changed my mind about proshippers. I had found myself in an echo chamber of sorts, where I was slowly convinced that proshippers "arent that bad" and that people who hate them are "just overreacting." I am very ashamed of myself for letting these beliefs get to me, but I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I am not like that anymore. I managed to get myself out of that mindset, and I now despise proshippers as much as the next guy. proshippers are disgusting. there are no "but"s that can change that. though, I am aware that even though I've changed, it wont undo the fact that I did have that mindset at some point. the regret of it will take a good while to leave me, but I'd say that's a good thing, because at least I am aware of how much of a mistake it was to let myself get into that mindset.

the reason why I kept bugging that minor about drawing lewd art of brulo was because I genuinely didnt know they were uncomfortable. I didnt pick up on the obvious signs that they were uncomfortable with it, and I thought their protests were just part of the joke. its not their fault at all, as I should've known better and picked up on the signs that they really didnt like this "joke." I've learned to be more careful with these kinds of jokes now, and to look out for signs of the person being uncomfortable. I feel terrible for pressuring them like that, and if they somehow find this and read this; I am so sorry for misunderstanding your discomfort.

I feel horrible about the way I treated johnny as well. I get very aggressive when Im having breakdowns, even though I dont mean to. but even though I didnt mean to do it, it still happened, I still treated him like shit when he was just trying to help me. I understand why people refer to my constant breakdowns as suibaiting, but I really did try almost every time. I always failed, either because I was a coward or because my method wasnt working at all, which is where the suibait belief comes from. that's not to shame people who believe it was suibaiting, because I get it. Im trying to figure out healthier ways to deal with these breakdowns, because I dont want to make someone feel like johnny did again. I cant imagine the stress my dumb complaining and aggressive behavior put johnny through, and I feel awful for making him feel that way.

the reason why I came onto tumblr under a new alias was because I wanted to keep sharing my art and dumb ramblings. I didnt expect nor want this blog to become popular, and I had already planned to delete it if that ever were to happen. I am not made for handling big fanbases, as I've seen other people who have similar problems to me lose touch with reality and misuse their fanbases in various ways, which I dont want. though, I now feel like I shouldnt try to be on social media at all until I fully improve myself, even if its just an account with no followers on a site no one uses. social media is most definitely turning back the improvement I've already made, so I shouldnt be on it until there is no risk of me going back to my old ways.

with this post, I am not asking for forgiveness. no one is obligated to forgive me, and I'll understand no matter the reason. I am simply trying to explain myself and apologize for the damage I've caused. I really hope that people will at least understand what Im trying to say, even if they dont forgive me in the slightest. and once again, I am so sorry to everyone I've hurt, and I hope that it didnt leave any long lasting effects on anyone. I hope you all have a great rest of your day, and thank you for reading.

Okay, hi, sorry for abandoning Tumblr, but something important came up that I need to share with the Tumblr side of the Fandom.

This account is ran by bagel, who if you don't know

- lied about their age to get into n/sfw spaces

- liked mauricexpeppino art and supported someone who was openly proship

- tried pressuring a minor into drawing lewd artwork of brulo from antonblast (this was before they revealed their true age which made it 5x creepier)

- treated me like garbage everytime I tried comforting them during their suibaits

All I can recommend is to block and move on, don't give them any attention 👍

[lexa-griffins]

Hi lovely 💕 I absolutely loved your Valentine's Day headcanon for your seven minutes in heaven clexa 🥰 I loved how simple yet deeply romantic their date night was. I found it so sweet how Lexa created a giant fort for their soft night where they just reiterated how head over heels they are for each other 🥹 I laughed when Clarke brought out the special condoms too and Lexa found them to be absolutely cute. They are so in love with each other 🥹

Like you said, they are still in their honeymoon phase with each other where their relationship is perfect and strong. However, I know you really love adding angst to your stories so may I ask what angst you have planned for our two lovebirds that may pop the bubble? Maybe they have their first fight with each other over something trivial? They make a big deal over it because they're still teenagers and don't know how to properly communicate yet

I think you mentioned in an earlier ask about Lexa getting annoyed that she's not climaxing during sex and feels that sex is now just a chore to get Clarke off. I love this idea where Lexa starts to believe that sex is becoming too one-sided now since Clarke still has trouble lasting long enough. Lexa doesn't want to hurt her girlfriend's feelings and confidence that she's "bad at sex" but after several months together, she was hoping that Clarke would improve but that clearly isn't the case. Lexa doesn't know how to bring this up to Clarke without implying the obvious and ruining what they have.

Do you have any headcanons on how this may play out? I love nerd Clarke and popular Lexa but I want to see them suffer a tiny bit 🤏

Heya 🥰 so glad you enjoyed it! I think if Lexa was to take Clarke out somewhere too public she'd probably get a little overwhelmed and the blanket fort was too adorable to pass on!

The angst /will/ be about that last part! While they do have little petty fights they are both really good at taking a little space between them and apologizing. Most of the time its something so small it takes them no longer than half an hour of silence before they are all over each other and saying sorry for whatever it was they did.

But sex is a very sensitive topic for Clarke, she kind of shuts down and gets really defensive over it. They barely talk about it, which to Lexa can be a little awkward because she is pretty sex positive and would prefer to just be honest about things and work on solving them while Clarke always takes everything a little too personally. And while Lexa loves to have sex with Clarke she does think Clarke got too comfortable with Lexa not minding not cumming during it. And Clarke knows and is good at eating her out and fingering her but Lexa is starting to not enjoy the idea that her orgasm is foreplay for actual sex or that Clarke seems to be kind of rushing her to cum so she can get inside of her. Lexa doesnt have any questions that Clarke loves her but at some point either Lexa says something that might make Clarke feel horrible about herself and her capabilities at sex or the further they go into this relationship the harder it will be for Lexa to say something without sounding like she's getting bored of her.

And admittedly, Lexa should have waited for a better time to bring it up, when they are perhaps dressed and clear minded and not with an annoyed huff right after Clarke cums that she immediately regrets once Clarke looks at her with the biggest puppy dog eyed expression. The volley season is about to start and Lexa is just frustrated with things. So when Clarke asks her whats wrong Lexa sighs and tells her how she wishes sex wasnt so one sided as it is right now... and like she expected, Clarke immediately starts to recoil, grabbing a pillow to hide her crotch and trying to hide herself. And that kind of annoys Lexa. She loves Clarke so much, she's been trying to hard to make her feel beautiful and wonderful and all she's asking is for this one little thing.

But like you said, they are kids and they sometimes dont know how to communicate. And Lexa, in her frustration, says something she really shouldn't... "Costia always made me cum."

Clarke is collecting her clothes and getting dressed trying not to cry while Lexa, usually the one who puts on a brave face, has tears rolling down her eyes and is begging Clarke to understand that shes not saying shes bad at sex or that she wishes she was like Costia, not at all! She loves Clarke and she wouldn't trade her for the world. All Lexa wants is to not feel so taken for granted.

That makes Clarke slow down before grabbing her phone. Has she been taking Lexa for granted? It always felt Lexa knew so much more about relationships and sex that Clarke should be the one given leeway to learn but shit, did Clarke really decide the entire relationship should be focused on her?

She can think when Lexa is looking at her naked and crying, she just wants to go home and be alone. But she doesnt want Lexa to think this is her running away. So she steps closer to her and kisses her forehead. Clarke hates the way Lexa sobs when she does. Fuck, this love shit is hard. "Ill call you tomorrow okay?"

Lexa nods, knowing trying to prevent her from leaving will only result in them actually fighting in a way that will only lead to screaming, "okay. I love you." She sobs again when clarke doesnt say it back.

The next morning instead of feeling ready to face Lexa, Clarke is pissed. Why hadnt Lexa said anything earlier?! Has Lexa only been pretending she likes sex with her? Clarke really was stupid to think she'd ever be able to keep Lexa happy and satisfied for long. So, she goes to Raven, expecting her to agree with her, after all, Raven isnt even the biggest Lexa fan.... she did not expect to get almost yelled at by her and told to get her head out of her ass.

"That girl loves you Clarke, dont be fucking dense. She didnt say you dont know how to use your dick or that you suck at sex, all she asked was for you to think of her as much as she thinks of you!"

The way Murphy nods his head without looking away from his phone only makes Clarke feel more like an asshole.

Clarke catches Lexa just as she's coming back from practice and unlocking her front door. Lexa feels sorry for her the second she sees her, looking like a kicked puppy begging for forgiveness, "can we talk?"

Once in Lexa's room, they both sit on opposite sides of it, Lexa awkwardly on the bed while Clarke turns nervously on the desk chair. They have not been awkward with each other since that day at the party and this feels so uncomfortable for the both of them. Lexa wants to go and hug Clarke and ask her to forget about what she said. She just wants to kiss Clarke and have this behind them because she has never felt as miserable as she felt in the past 16 hours.

"Clarke, im sorry-"

"No, /im/ sorry. I should be the one apologizing. I know you day i do that too much but its warranted here. Ive been so wrapped in my own head wanting to get better at sex and instead of focusing on what i could better to make you feel good ive just been focusing on what made me feel good." Lexa is shocked by how sincere Clarke is. No fake excuses, no defensiveness, just admission of what she did wrong, "i havent been a very good girlfriend i dont think. But if you still want me as one, I promise I'll do better. I dont want to lose you Lexa..." shes crying now, staring at Lexa like if she breaks up with her she'll lose her reason to breathe.

Lexa is on her lap in a flash, leaving kisses all over her face until Clarke cracks a smile, "im sorry i didnt say anything before and chose such a fucking terrible moment to say anything I was mad, and frustrated and-" clarke interrupts her rambling with a kiss and Lexa quickly loses herself on it.

As they pull away Clarke smiles, "you have nothing to apologize for babe"

"Thats usually my line, isnt it?"

"Yeah well, we clearly have to start switching things up around here."

Lexa chuckles and leans in for a kiss before she is suddenly lifted from the chair by Clarke, her kegs immediately coming to wrap around her waist

"Speaking of switching it up," Lexa laughs as she's playfully thrown onto her bed, Clarke climbing on top of her and smashing their faces together for a kiss, hands quickly reaching for the band of Lexa's shorts, "im hungry 😏"

[cynettic]

Hello, can I request a reaction with childe, albedo, xiao and diluc where their SO is pretty clumsy and one day, they (the characters) just snap and say mean things? Please end it with comfort or something nice, my heart isnt strong enough to handle full angst :')

Clumsy S/O x Genshin

Summary - As someone clumsy, the genshin boys often pay special attention to your little accidents and mishaps. One day they snap, comforting ending though ;-;

Pairings - ClumsyReader x Childe / Albedo / Xiao / Diluc

Warnings - A bit of possessive behaviour for Xiao- but otherwise, a tad bit of angst at the beginning of each one.

A/N - After I wrote Albedo’s hc I realized that seeing him angry… would be really hot. Might write up a degradation one after-

Childe

“Stop it! It’s not funny anymore!”

It wasn’t surprising that once again, you’d managed to trip on your own feet and now somehow the vase sitting on the stool next to the couch had fallen… and broke.

But it was the first time you’d heard those words come from him.

“What do you mean… stop?”

Childe had never said anything about your clumsy antics, always picking you up and laughing or teasing the situation off. On the occasion that you got hurt, he’d tend to your wounds and make you promise to be more careful. Of course there was always a next time, and next time, and text time…

Until Childe had enough.

“From falling- tripping over your feet and taking down everything with you! No one tumbles around this much… so either you’re just doing this for fun or- or…”

He began to realize after those words that he’d taken it too far. When glancing at your teary eyes and how your figure started to shake he knew he couldn’t take those words back.

He knew it wasn’t your fault, he knew you tried to be as careful as you could.

But it was so frustrating.

You were still laying on the ground from the fall, and he bent down to help you up. You didn’t look him in the eyes, and an empty feeling buried itself in his stomach when you stood up.

“I’m… sorry.”

It was you who spoke these words, shoulders still shaking. You knew it might’ve been frustrating or annoying for Childe.

The two of you are just standing there, Childe feeling ten times guiltier because you apologized, and you feeling terrible because you’d broken another vase and he’d yelled at you for it.

The two of you feel so bad about it- ;-;

It isn’t till Childe acts out and pulls you into a hug that you realize he felt bad for yelling at you. Sure he may have been frustrated, but it was only cause he was worried about your well being, he didnt want you getting hurt.

“Im sorry Y/n… I didn’t mean to act out like that. I know you're trying your best.”

Albedo

“What happened.”

It was supposed to come out as a question, his eyes trailing over the mess of his lab and the sorry pitiful state it was in.

It didn’t come out sounding like a question.

Seeing Albedo angry of all things was only a myth among the knights of Favonius, a joke to Klee, and a topic never brought up to the citizens of Monstadt.

Albedo? Mad?? Impossible.

Well, you were living proof that it indeed wasnt a myth to see the alchemist angry.

“I fell…” was all you said in response to his glare. “I wasn’t paying attention and I tripped against the table… I’m sorry…”

Of course you were sorry, just waiting for Albedo to get home and maybe scanning the lab and all his experiments while he was away. No bad intentions, but unfortunately your bad habit of tripping over your own feet summoned itself at the worst moments.

Usually, Albedo would catch you with utmost ease. A reflex he’d learned from Klee before she went sprinting out to cause more of a ruckus. If you were to get hurt, he’d usher or carry you back into his house before patching you up. It was always quick and painless, but he made you repeat why you’d fell and how to avoid it.

Albedo wouldn’t be comforting you now.

“You fell?” He simply asked, his tone menacing enough to know that it was something important in that jumble of experiments. “You seem to do that a lot nowadays don’t you?”

You’re at a loss for words, “I’ll help you clean it up… I didn’t mean to-”

Not wanting to mention how the glass shards had cut your hand, you stood up with wobbly knees to start picking up the pieces of glass. You were sure your boyfriend had put a lot of work towards this, and you felt terrible for having ruined it all.

Albedo isn’t a savage tho.

He notices the cut on your palm, and your shaky figure as you begin to clean up the mess you’d made. He knows that cleaning up the lab as soon as possible is important, but you’re still his top priority.

“Come here.”

When you don’t immediately go to him, he walks to you. Taking your wrists and getting a good view of the injury. He tugs you to the doorway to get you fixed up, and realizes that you’re shaking, a little bit too much…

“It… seems I was a bit too harsh earlier.” He fully faces you, expression softening. “I’m sorry, I know you didn’t mean to, none of the items on the table were of any importance if it makes you feel better.”

Please let him wipe any stray tears if you do cry, he didn’t mean to sound so angry, and really doesn’t care too much about what was on that table. Poor man’s just had a tough day at work.

Xiao

“I worry for you, every single minute of every goddamn day- every moment that my eyes aren't on you! Why don’t you make it easier for me and just sit still?!”

Xiao is protective.

That fact is known, its accepted, you might even find it endearing.

But Xiao has lived a much longer life than you, he’s seen the people he loves crumple and drain away. Watched them fade from his life one at a time, so he’s dedicated to making sure you stick around.

He knows that eternity isn’t an option for you, so he makes sure that the time you both have together is s a f e . Which means yes, he will catch you every single time you fall. Especially if it’s off the Wangshu stairs that you somehow always trip on?

The poor boy worries excessively for you, so much that he will try to hurry up the process of clearing out the normal hilichurls or threats that lie around Liyue Port.

But on the very rare occasion that you somehow end up into trouble without him there…

You don’t yell “Xiao” like he told you to, you know he makes such an effort on making you safe, a bit too much… you don’t want to summon him to every trouble you have. You’re independent, one scrape isn’t going to kill you.

“I’m fine,” you simply say when he comes back to find your whole hand encompassed in bandages. “Just tripped.”

Xiao is not impressed.

He worries too much, far too much, and seeing you brush it off when he tries so hard to make sure you’re never in pain- he wishes you’d just sit still, wait for him and not trip on your own feet when doing such mundane things.

“I worry for you, every single minute of every goddamn day- every moment that my eyes aren't on you! Why don’t you make it easier for me and just sit still?!”

You’re obviously taken aback by the statement, “Xiao?” You offer him a comforting hug, trying to loosen his stiff muscles. “It’s impossible from protecting me from everything y’know… I appreciate your worry but I’m fine.”

But that’s a matter that is strained between the two of you, and will continue to be that way until either Xiao somehow lets go of his protective anxious faze, or you just accept it.

Either way, the boy will continue to catch you when you fall. Even if you broke apart from him, left him, you’d still occasionally feel the lightest touch when you trip over your feet and feel yourself steadied.

Diluc

“Are you doing this on purpose?!”

Just like Xiao, Diluc is fairly protective over you, especially if it concerns your health.

He’s often not quick enough to catch you, but instead picks you up in his arms and sits you on the table to make sure you’re not hurt.

You often get bruises, but nothing more serious. He makes sure to kiss them better- something you jokingly stated once, and he’s actually taken it seriously.

“Kissing it will make it feel better? You’re sure?”

Overall, Diluc was very understanding to your clumsy antics. Maybe even find it endearing on a hard day of work, either way, he’d never yell at you for it.

Until he had enough.

It’s exhausting, to hear something clatter and know that you’d probably tripped. Tripped and harmed yourself in one way or another, the options were infinite, and Diluc’s anxiety could heighten at the slightest crashing noise.

“Are you doing this on purpose?!”

Eventually it became too much and he asked you that exact question, hands tangling through his hair as he stared at you wide eyed, furious. There you were on the floor, just a single chair knocked down as you were beginning to shakily stand back up.

“No… of course not. I wouldn’t do these things for fun-“

It’s not like you enjoyed absentmindedly stumbling into objects, it just… happened. Diluc was usually so patient and understanding… so why?

“I know… it’s just...” he rubbed the temples on either side of his face with his thumbs, frown set in a line. “I keep worrying and worrying- every time I hear a noise like that…”

It doesn’t take long for him to sort this out through a conversation, and then settle that you need to be more mindful and careful, something you have to improve on. He will simply watch on the sidelines, catch you when he can, and coax you when you end up hurt.

[nerves-nebula]

Generic question but I'm genuinely interested: what are some of your like main art style influences? I'm in awe of how you manage to both have such expressive lines but also be able to communicate shapes so well with no outlines just color???

ough that's a tough question. i have no idea. there have been art styles i've absolutely fallen in love with and tried to emulate and integrated into my own style, which ive then totally abandoned and forgotten about. its mostly been like that, actually, so idk?

it might be important to note that i didnt really use color in my art consistently until i was like, 13 or something?? when i got my first tablet. so up until then i was just focusing on shapes & shading with like, mechanical pencils.

i try to focus more on concepts i want to improve on tho i guess, like shape language and recognizable character silhouettes. those are things i really admire a lot when i see them done well, so they're things i try to keep in mind while drawing.

as for lineless art, i honestly dont know. it's similar to shape language tho, where if youre only using colors the colors have to be SHAPES or something. sorry im not a teacher so i might be saying this weird.

id always thought lineless art looked cool but only in the past few years have i become able to do it so well that my webcomic is mainly lineless, but im still relatively new to it. tbh i just use a lot of the lasso tool and masking layers hahhh.

anyway this ramble prolly wasnt helpful, oopsie!

[dave5422285]

Week 8 Studio Tutorial- Digital iteration

This week we were tasked to investigate a model making case study -Razor and explore the Autodesk program 3DS MAXs tools in preparation for the next tutorial. Before talking about the task for this week, I'll cover the case study first. After watching the case study video presenting the use of mock up sketch models and investigating different materials in creating the right materiality of their razor, it informs us how models inform the design process. Aspects they were aiming for creating the razor was how materiality perceives value in the product as a consumer and allows for good ergonomic practice that drawings and sketches can only describe and label, not feel. Models allow for the physical analysis of the products functionality while showing its aesthetics. Quick sketch Models allow for quick fast pace exploration of ideas and concepts that are instantly able to show functionality and aesthetic in 3D form while sketching and drawings can only do the same 2D. Models bring the concepts to life in the physical world and can answer questions such as how the consumer interacts with the physical product, and so on. In answering the question Gonz posted on the week 8 post; What do you think Andrew means by "low-fidelity" and "hi-fidelity"? what he means by low/high fidelity is how far you as a designer is able to present a product that is faithful to the original while also exploring forms, materials, processes that no one has ever made a connection to the original product. How far you are able to create a entirely unique product that still reflects the original purpose.

Part 1

After briefly watching the pre-class activity videos, I went straight into following the steps in the tutorial. As Im doing it online I wasnt able to do a 3D scan of my foam models, so for this week I am focusing on exploring the tools in 3DS Max.

After doing the pre-requisite tasks such as changing the units to 1mm in the customization and arranging my views like a 3rd angle projection, I formed the sphere and played around with the viewing tools, panning in and out. After doing so I then played around with the modifiers, trying to create a organic bend and form using the modifiers bend, melt, squeeze, taper and other tools. I was able to create a shell-like shape, with lines emerging from one point. The rest of the images on the other hand was me playing around the tools and see how they play and interact with one another. I'm unfamiliar with the program and its my first time trying it, so I had a difficult time trying to express what I was trying to make that I could sketch/draw on paper. Watching the videos/tutorial series helped in some ways, but putting it into practice will still take some time.

Part 2

After exploring the primitives manipulated with modifiers, in this part of the tutorial we're now using poly mesh modelling. This part was very challenging for me, as I initially thought that poly modelling involved more freedom in creating the organic curves I wanted to bring out, but it had alot of steps in doing so. I wasnt able to explore as much in poly modelling, but I was able to just make a edged and organic version of abstract seats/chairs. For the first shape (purple colour) I wanted to make a organic form of a chair, having a hollow curve to allow for a person to sit. I would imagine the materiality would be plastic for mass production, and be used for simple seating in playgrounds. The edged shaped is for a range of people to sit on while visiting a mall, having a safe place to put plastic bags filled with goods under the edged out sections of the abstracted bench while resting. The materiality for this object/bench would be marble or metal depending on where its placed. The tools I explored this week was NURMS toggle, and the five tools in the conversion to a poly model. Although this was a challenging week as I'm unfamiliar with the process and tools in 3DS Max program, it was a good experience that has reminded me to always improve. I also followed nicholas's advice in sketching 3D models rather than "2D" (not fully following my sketches) which helped in making these forms as it developed shapes I would not have thought of! if you also have any tips using this program let me know! B)

[snobgoblin]

Gorillaz art styles ranked worst to best (opinion)

1. Song Machine, Phase 6

2. Plastic Beach/The Fall, Phase 3

3. The Now Now, Phase 5

4. Gorillaz, Phase 1

5. Humanz, Phase 4

6. Demon Days, Phase 2

explainations v

1. phase 6 is just... kinda eye bleedy to me. The colours are much too bright and while the lineart and anatomy are objectively the best they've ever been, the stylization has been lost and it is very unflattering. It shows a lot of technical skill but a disregard of shape language, line weight, expressiveness; which were the strongest pillars of the art style in the beginning

2. phase 3 is my absolute favourite but the art style is objectively grungy and kind of nasty. This might be on purpose, but to me it feels like Jamie just discovered the airbrush tool and used it gratuitously. The shading is pillowy and in black of all colours (don't shade with black btw unless you can legitimately make it look good, like solid black shading in comic books. Transparent black shading is atrocious in most cases). The colours are desaturated, which is really nice on the characters because it makes them look sickly and drives home the point that everyone was suffering during this phase, but it got really bland when applied to the backgrounds as well. The most colour was from the hot pink island, and even then it wasnt always drawn as hot pink, mostly just a light coral. The complaints here are purely with the colouring and shading, but the necks also bother me. I dunno. I just dont like the way they taper at the top

3. I actually really enjoy this art style a bunch, I think it's stunning. I only put it here because it didn't seem remarkable enough to be at the top. Mad respect to this art style I thought the collaging was really nice and I love the almost vintage feel of it. If I weren't judging by technical skill and appeal as well as opinion I would probably have this at the best. The colours were just amazing and the line weight and posing were great

4. The shape language here was incredible and unmatched by any following phases. It's very charming and I love the chunky lineweight of it. However, in some places the anatomy just didn't make sense even by cartoon standards, and the characters changed appearances sometimes, probably as a result of Jamie still trying to figure out the style. Also, sometimes the poses, as outrageous and awesome as they were, just looked bad or awkward. Appreciate the effort tho and for the most part it's pretty slick

5. I absolutely ADORE this phase's art style. Even though lineweight is a massive strong suit for this style, the lineless style really worked in its favour here. The colours were incredible!! Really genuinely stunning, and it managed to be soft while still managing not to stray too far from what people had come to expect from Gorillaz. Wasn't a fan of the hyperrealistic portraits, though, even if they're cool. And while most times this style was soft and incredibly endearing, sometimes it was muddled together due to a lack of differentiation between blocks of colour, and sometimes the shading made their faces look incredibly flat (I dont know why that happened, Jamie is usually a wizard when it comes to making 2D faces still look 3D)

6. while not my favourite, I think this is where the style really has a lot of genuinely strong aspects. All of the best aspects of phase 1 were strengthened here, and there was steady improvement throughout. Anatomy was perfect here, colours were amazing, even the fashion was probably the best it's ever been. Everyone had really good proportions in their faces especially that really made them look distinctive and three dimensional, while being incredibly expressive. Just a genuinely technically strong style here, pretty much perfect so I don't have much to say about it

[vulture-jack]

Realizing that ive spent a decade and a half in SHAME of my art and how damaging that was for me???

Like. Shame that I wasnt better because I wasnt practicing. Shame that I wasnt practicing the right things. That I wasnt studying bc I didnt like it. That I wasnt doing enough. For everything I havent buckled down and learned yet. The constant reminder that I could be better than I am and its my fault that Im not. Shame that I am boring people. Shame that people can see my weaknesses and know I'm not working asq hard to get better as I could be. Shame that Im not drawing and studying like Im trying to become a concept artist for a triple A game studio.

And like? What did that achieve? Not much. Just the shame.

Fuck the shame. I want art to be fun. I want to express myself and my love for the subjects I choose. I want to play. I want to explore. I want to remove expectations. I want to do it for me. I want it to enrich MY life. Healing will take time, but Im getting better at killing that useless shame. Art is inherent to humanity. I dont owe anyone improvement. I am good enough to enjoy myself.

Ive done a lot of work to repair my relationship w art in the last year but one of the most helpful things so far ngl was getting markers in pretty colors :)