#its just compromise after compromise
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you are umasou
#I watched it today it was so good#im not big on dinosaur stuff but i like how it was used to approach the predator/prey conversation especially when both sides are sentient#instead of just defaulting to well since predators are meat eaters their actions are automatically immoral so their role in the story#has to match. and then when your characters /are/ meat eaters you just step around that whole topic#heart knows he has to kill and eat so there’s no avoiding it but even he knows he has agency over that#hell he even decided to hunt by himself so umasou doesn’t have to see him kill and eat another dinosaur a day after meeting him#and maybe its because it’s a kids movie but it also doesn’t make a big show over the act of hunting and eating. it doesn’t dwell on it#like yes you can clearly see them ripping into guts minus the graphic details but it doesnt go out of its way to censor it either#its played straight just like hearts mom having more kids like nobody asks who the father is or when that happened cuz it doesn’t matter#what matters is she still loves heart and encourages her kids to greet their big brother and they do!!! it’s sweet#Beckon was also an interesting touch bc they make it clear the only reason he doesnt eat umasou is bc he cant and not that he wouldn’t#but he’s still a funny and interesting character and that doesn’t get in the way of how we see him too much#same for baku he was pretty polite with heart esp from the start when he asks him if hes abandoned implying he would be prepared to#look out for him from the start. and at the end when he decides to spare him. I dont hate him at all hes just intimidating#you are umasou#doodles#I wanted to draw smth more detailed but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go with the cartoony art style#or smth closer to realistic?? so this is like. some sort of compromise I guess
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Repeat HNW content alert
Do any of you care when its this hot?
Didn't think so...
#shaun evans#itv endeavour#endeavour morse#half naked wednesdays#hnw#aka the wednesday special#recycled content#because there's no new content#I love the way he laughs in this scene#I think its more evans than morse#but I may just be making that up#that grin though#ummm look at me like that please#preferably half naked#but we can negotiate on that point...#yeah right#I wish#oh and ditch the cigs#even after sex#although again....#if we're having to compromise...#where the fuck are you evans#I'll settle for fully clothed#just show up#somewhere#soon..#like really soon#I miss him#hot damn evans
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brocal for the ship bingo?
The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)
Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.
Read More to save ppl's dashboards:
I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore
((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))
Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.
Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.
EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:
"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"
Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))
They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.
Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]
I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.
Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?
Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)
They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.
'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i
To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.
So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)
Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]
Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who
Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.
Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))
Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.
The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]
Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?
Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.
Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.
Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.
[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]
Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.
One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.
#apologies for being entirely unhinged about brocal. this isnt even the half of it#the-meat-machine#asked#praying my internet posts this in one go in the correct format. rip to everyones dashboard if it doesnt#im not turning on my pc to correct it if i cant fix an upload error from mobile#homestuck#brocal#otp5eva#stridercest#long post#Cori.exe#Post.exe#im like staring at my phone scared to hit the post button bc if tumblr has a fit then idk what ill do#and its like okay i could just put my phone down and go to sleep.#but what if tumblr decides to post it AFTER IM ASLEEP AND CLOGS EVERYONE WHOS FOLLOWING ME'S DASH#if that readmore doesnt save where its supposed to... (has happened before)... i am genuinely so fucking sorry.#oh oKAY WAIT compromise. ill save it as a draft first so the bulk of the upload happens privately in case something goes wrong#bc knowing my internet and how i was fighting hyperlinks last night and today that still wont work. something is gonna go wrong#fingers crossed the draft saves tho i dont wanna copy all this shit from the 'in case of emergency' screenshots i took lol#anyway i really need to get ready for bed fuck lol literally took me hours to type this and its not even polished ughh#toxic yaoi guard puppet#omg tho 'lil cal top surgery' idea had me dying when i remembered theres canon cal sewn up like that#i gotta remember to post that separately tmr#i got this post draftes and gna post now. im seeby#oh wait#puppets#suggestive#striders#man if i wish i started w the last point but i dont have the energy to reorder everything#nini im going seep 4r this time
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i like the nico big brother content but also hazel and nico are functionally the same age in my mind. their timelines are so complicated that to me they are basically birthday twins. if she’s thirteen he’s thirteen. if he’s fourteen than she’s fourteen. also most importantly they are both tiny old geezers.
#bc canonically he's older but going off their original timelines she should be older but either way its just messy#so i compromise lol#i headcanon that nico was born a month after hazel in the 1920's but that's probably impossible in the canon#but determining nico's birthday is a sisyphian task#nico big brother content is vv cute#but as a twin myself i ride for siblings of the same age#hazel levesque#nico di angelo#also they should start playing chess in the park with old people
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some of y'all have grown so comfortable with being emotionally manipulative it hurts.
no, threatening someone with, or god save, attempting to commit suicide over a disagreement is extremely fucking toxic and may cause permanent trauma to the other person.
like just don't do that?
and friends, if someone does this to you, OK , honestly even advised, to leave (Once they're out of harm's way of course). we mustn't put our mental health in jeopardy, this is not your fault.
#TW Suicide Mention#seen a post bout polyamory#and ppl threatening murder suicide#ok i get some ppl are really ungood with their emotions but if like#half of yall#comfortably#state that you'd try murder suicide or murder a man#over a mere suggestion/question/offer#That's definitely not okay?#Like if this happens in a flurry of emotions after a heated argument with seemingly no compromise its different than someone saying#lol if someone suggested polyamory murder suicide#thats not even#no you don't love this person you are OBSESSED#you don't want what's best for them#you are using them#Like i hate to put it this way#But someone else cannot “fix you”#if ur monogamous and ur partner suggest polyamory like a question then u can decline and maybe u can compromise#if ur partner insists - it'd make them complete - and no compromise cannot be reached like u dont feel comf with it#then i'm sorry to say but you're not good for eachother#and it's best to just end that relationship
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While one might assume that itd be easy to cross over homestuck and everything everywhere all at once, considering how both ultimately deal with the concept of alpha and doomed timelines, multiuniversal threats, and the concept of the ultimate self, I woild actually say its not possible without gutting the core message of one or the other. I have no idea how to articulate this further
#homestuck#everything everywhere all at once#idk where to go from here its just like#homestuck's take just feels more Essentialist somehow#like there is exactly One Way for things to go well and the rest are Doomed#whereas in eeaao s case its a lot more flexible#the actions of the most arguably doomed evelyn in existence saves the entire multiverse#and she doesnt have to compromise anything! she doesnt lose her shop her daughter her marriage#its happily ever after#and every evelyns life sinply continues on after#idk where im going with this#anyway
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Can you find where Volition says that abt Conceptualization irt ur tags on one of the skills bracket posts omg [we suuuck at finding shit w fayde] we've Never seen that before and like. that's so fucking funny FHDJSJDJF
i have this screenshot on lockdown, it makes me so violent about him. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT. WHAT DOY UO MEA N.
#im going to fuckiong. BITE HIM. i am rarely ever violent about volition (usually its just hugs and forehead kisses) and i dont know what it#is about this quote that makes me aggressive (LIGHTHEARTED) at him but like. WGAT. HUH!! THIS IS THE BAR FOR YOU?? YOUR STANDARDS??#''the ONLY one of the INTs'' guy who admires willpower forever and ever? that so fucking funny im fuckin flabbergasted i need to throw him.#also the fuckin. measurehead conversation. the semen reserves. if i read his addition to that conversation again i will explode him.#''You had me at *willpower*. Let's do it!'' MOTHERFUCKER WHATY DOY UO MEAN BYT THIS. THE EXCLAMATION POINT. IM GOING TO PUT YOU IN THE SUN.#you display impressive willpower ONCE and hes like compromised immediately. yeah okay arughgjghgkjhg throwing him. THROWING HIM!!#PHEW. okay back to being normal about him. hugs him gently and pats his head. he's so fucking silly.#hi btw twirling you!!! <33 i would have posted this immediately after you asked this if it weren't for my need to add commentary lmao <333#volta transmissions#esprit: Euclydia
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it's june 😳
#fave month fr notbing touches june but when did that happen#like noo fr fr its barely spring how is it june what#is this just what being employed is time moves impossibly fast forever bc 90% of my day is spent waiting for it to be over so i miss life#ok#that's soo depressing#and one of my friends asked me out today and i'm not attracted to him at all 😣#right after a very nice time of hanging out and he ruined itttt ugh#i knew he liked me but i thought i was being sufficiently distant to avoid this#he's very nice im just not into him and he has no personal hygiene#my mom is always like guve him a chanceeee abt every guy nc she wants grandkids but personal hygiene is something i wont compromise on#and it seems to be an insurmountable barrier for most guys i know#where do i meet the guys who own toothbrushes and are also nice and polite where are they i am sick of this#anyway#its june im losing my mind#june#june????#fr its june guys#its june now
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Apparently the solution to our housing problem is for me to never be excited about anything ever 🙃
#went to see 3 houses last week#(was it really only a week ago? feels like an entire Age)#wasnt really thrilled about any of them#husband fell in love with the fixer-upperbof the lot#i was especially not enthused about it be after several days came up with a compromise that suited us both#started thinking about how it be once we got some renovations done and started getting excited about it#so of course now its too late to even make a counter offer#this is not the first time#so the conclusion i have come to is if i am simply never excited then MAYBE we will actually get to put in an offer on something for once#random ramblings#dont mind me#just being grouchy about the current state of the housing market. AGAIN.
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i think since (post dlc pre-s2)fen and ivor come back for breaks on weekends . ivor gets reaaally really cuddly and clingy and affectionate.. since theres not reaaally time for that on the less boring adventures You know. hes kind of unfair about it too
#daisy.txt#fen vc ivor i need to get up and have a shower and make dinner and unpack...#and hes like actively holding onto her. no.#i think after they're together for a while he realizes his own power. and uses it for evil.#fen is like haha yeah my neck has always been really sensitive its still nice to be kissed though ivor voice Hmmm#i think they hsve. to compromise by like. fen can get out of bed he just has to be allowed to hold on to her the whole time#eventually he winds down enough and then they make potions together#its nice..#✨.ivor#🌸🏔.fen/courier (mcsm)
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Nami giving sanji the beating of his life when he gets weird about seeing vivi on the paper..... this can only have one meaning
#them cutting off the kaido and big mom articles akdhala#i was like oh the waves are weird.... they are stylized.....#alos omg wano time i cant believe it.... what am I gonna do when this ends....#when i have to wait a week for an episode.....#after wci and the musicals/drama they really went into the genre huh#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 891#the incredible dilemma of do i watch the opening bc its cool or do i not bc its full of spoilers.....#scrolled down to just see the subs of the song lmao#compromises#usohachi oil snake seller alsjakdjs#they put my girl robin on geisha training........#zoro must be so happy to be a ronin lmao#nvm they are convicting him to seppuku.... how can you make someone kill themselves but alas#new adbreaks and everything#zoro is capable of gutting himself to prove a point lmao#omg the sunny!!!!#luffy's priorities: 1) hat 2) crew#this is zoro's arc right... like he is already popping off in the first episode#episode 892#saw some comments talking about the blood and like yeah.... that's new#'an animal using a sword.... i guess this is the land of wano' lmao#tell that to zoro and mihawk's monkeys#the fucking octopus ajdhaksj#zoro needs a lesson on de escalation or at least on not escalating conflicts#HAWKINS YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!!!!!!!! JUST LIKE THE SCARTCHMAN#the backhand punch 😭😭#usopp and his 10 children 😭😭 knowine everything he says becomes kinda true i am afraid for his kids lmao#episode 893
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uuggghhh
#its time to violently long after farm life again#the biggest problem i used to be worried about is that i kinda need to be near city areas? just for resources?#its not easy being queer and also medically questionable in rural areas#and the only places that are even in the realm of possibility for affordability in bc/vancouver area are a few hours away#that and like. yknow. friends.#but now that im back living in the city again. fuck. the effect of living out in the forest with chickens and geese and surrounded by trees#and wildlife and having to work with nature and do farm chores and shit.#it did WONDERS for my mental health. have never been so at peace and so satisfied. even though its really hard on me physically sometimes.#i think itll be worth it again. even if i have to compromise on queer community and socializing a bit i think my priorities have shifted#im gonna get a plan together and start looking into the shitshow that is real estate in vancouver#i gotta get back to that i h a t e living in the city again
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Here’s the lil synopsis for the next part btw:
Normal takes Dot out in public with their new body for the first time to meet with the other teens. Something goes terribly wrong.
#dndads#doodle dot au#cal rambles#it’s probably gonna be a bit before I start releasing the next story part#yanno to take a break after the comic#but i like planning ahead lol#i know I’m not primarily known for my writing and also I’m not too confident in it#but I think it would be fun to do !! so I just wanna know if that’s something you guys would wanna see :>#also if I did another comic I’d probably format it differently#maybe use a different color palette too#so it’s not just black and white lol although the monochrome look did make coloring a lot easier#the comic will probably mean the story is split up as I update the pages#while a fic would probably be a long one shot or a two parter#they r both time consuming of course but I think a comic would probably take longer bc I have to write it AND draw it all LMAO#and then the last option is a bit of a compromise <3#if its multichaper I’ll try and do one drawing per chapter#but if it ends up being a one shot I’ll just pick my favorite scenes LMAOO#OH for clarification#the comic layout would probably be more like page 14
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Daily Highlights #16 (3-26-23)
3 Things That Made Me Happy
My king snake booped my nose while I had him out
A parent texted me that their kiddo misses me during the break
My peeps up North are planning to make a trip down to where I am at because I cannot afford to travel
3 Productive Activities I Performed
Began submitting documents for disability
Started doing a little bit of spring cleaning
Sleep, Sleep, Sleep mother fucker
3 Self Care Activities I Accomplished
Took naps in intervals to help me get through being sick and work on things.
Used social media sparingly so I could focus on getting better
Did a mental health check in with myself when I felt like spiraling
3 Emotions I felt Today
Fatigued
Contentment
Anxiety
Overall Day
5/10 Jeff Goldblum’s
#dailyhighlights#mental health journaling#getting sick often after having covid is legit folks#doctors aren't kidding about how it compromises your immunity#please stay up to date on the research and vaccines#i caught it right around the beginning of 2021#just before the vaccine was available#im still feeling the repercussions#then i caught delta in 2022 cause people didn't mask up and came to work anyway#since then ive been catching colds and flu variants more easily#like every month it seems that i come down with something#then the fibro on top of it has been hard navigating#im hoping i can get on disability at this point#i can work well but i need to take days off as needed#and most places aren't accomodating#i doubt my current work place is going to be open to that regardless of the documents i submitted#its frustrating#thank you for coming to my tag ted talk
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Not to sound like an overdramatic sadboi but. I think. It would be nice to be someone's first choice. Just once I would like to be a priority, for someone to specifically choose me. I think that would feel really good.
#cw vent#i guess#idk especially after highschool ive been feeling kinda lonely#all my friends sorta moved on without me#and then the asshole we don't talk about tried to pressure me into an open relationship#(that i was NOT comfortable with by the way)#and eventually just straight up cheated on me because#and i quote#i just wasnt enough for him on my own#i think that probably left some emotional scarring huh#so now my social life compromises of just tagging along with my sib when they're doing something cool#and I'm cripplingly shy and meeting new people is terrifying#so feeling like an afterthought is pretty much my main state of being rn#its been a theme my whole life but recently it's been louder#and it just kinda hurts#a lot#anyway venting on the internet is cheaper than therapy so#fi talks
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i cant tell if its the autism tm that skews my perception or if ive just really been through enough shit these past few years that my emotional maturity is now explicitly above average
#personal#seeing people who clearly want and need help be all cryptic about how they feel and making it like pulling teeth to communicate with them#makes me wanna tear my hair out#I Am Here For You !!!!! just Talk to me !!!!!!!! god#trying to leave every figurative ball in their court but they just dismiss it and then act like im the one who didnt try#its so reminiscent of my last job where i always had to be the one bending myself over backwards to accommodate the other party#im getting anxious just thinking about it knowing where that led me after months and months of caving in to the other's needs#without any regards for my own#really trying to will myself not to go down that path but its hard when i care#and i Know if i did reach out and compromise myself to be accommodating it would Work#but goddammit i cant always be the bigger person !!! please !!! cut me some slack sometimes !!!! meet me halfway !!!! im trying dammit
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