#its just a cover this means nothing
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yeah ok thanks
#I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS SKYBOUND#WE WERE RIDE OR DIE#im laughing so hard#im laughing bc i dont have tears anymore#DAMN IT ALL#its just a cover this means nothing#<me trying to cope
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💘
#this might be the most scribble thing I post here yet bahahahahahahahahahahaaha#I still like how the hands turned out even though I didn’t finish them😇#but it’s pretty messy and the hands might be the only part I like🥲#but since this blog is my art journey documentation here you are#I was pretty busy today so no good art but maybe tomorrow we’ll see#I am preparing things to FINALLY answer my asks🥹#& if you tagged me in anything I actually have been meaning to respond!!!!!!!! my notifications are the WORST and so confusing on here😵💫#and I’m technology grandma…#hope u all have had an amazing day !!!! 🫶#my brother in law has been fishing and catching SO MANY sargo#(sargo = sea bream for the animal crossing playing English speakers😙)#AND ITS LITERALLY SOOOOOOOOO DELICIOUS !!!!!#i cook it in the weirdest way possible#you just have to gut the fish and cut off its fins etc#then you put it in a wet salt bed and cover it up…cook it for 30 min…AND VOILA ITS DONE !!!!!#I don’t add any spices…NOTHING…and this fish literally has the taste and texture of crab covered in butter#LIKE…😳 it might be my favorite food/fav thing to cook these days bc it’s so easy and fresh caught fish is just delicious😫#well that was my grandma cooking show of the day👩🍳#now you know how to cook sargo a la sal 👩🍳#also going back to the drawing🥹 I just love these two so much…#I love thinking of sweet moments…most of my angst is confined to writinc😆#the chapter I’m writing right now is SO ANGST DEPRESSING (sorry Eloise)#it will get better…I promise…#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc
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same energy
#in my bg3 playthrough my character canonically lets astarion ascend but i did want to see what happened if i didnt let him#LOVE to see a man sobbing and covered in blood that isnt his#its my favorite#these two are my special fucked up creatures im rotating them in my mind. and kissing with tongue#i mean what#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 astarion#scarlet hollow#reese kelly#scarlet hollow reese#my post#the emotion in both of fhese.#just. ugh#its over. youre free. but at what cost#nothing will ever be the same
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Oh my fucking god the Raph and Don parallels are so much fucking worse. They sound like each other when they think and speak. Insisting “I love you” against a locked door. The last part of Raph’s chapter feels like the scene where Donnie reminisces on the time after Shredder. His monologue at the beginning literally sounds like Donnie begging for forgiveness from his brother in CL. “I wanna be worth it” you’re both SICK in the head.
HHHHHHhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
leo and donnie may be twinning hard right now but raph and donnie are doing some fuckinnnn!!! PARALLELS!!!!!! CL being so long and having so much to take from for things like this really helps pound in the way that the roles have been reversed after the curse breaks; how they cant do much but work, how they can only love from afar, how they can give and give and give but it wont get through to the person they want to love them the most, how desperate they are for normalcy and simplicity and the donnie they used to have .......
what a terrible way to finally be able to empathize with your emotionally unavailable brother.
that scene where they talk about the stuff they miss is also kind of intended to be a parallel to the family meeting,,,, but donnie's missing from it. they're not saying this to him. because he opened himself up and took their punishment but he wont so easily do the same with their love. haha painful! :D
#ask#canary continuity#i dont plan every parallel out before writing it#so sometimes i get an IDEA and i cackle like a madman LMAO#also for the record when i say empathize with him i dont mean that theyve never been compassionate#theyve always shown donnie nothing but compassion. the innerworkings of his brain just get lost on them#leo arguably understands him the best and he still mentions how often curveballs get thrown at him LMAO#i dont even think donnie's TRYING most of the time. its just hard to communicate feelings he's bad at reading himself#but now they get it. more than ever. they understand what he was trying to say before this all started#when he dedicated so much of his time to his work#its like the same thesis as coming undone but delivered in the most soul-crushing way i possibly couldve delivered it in#LOLLLLLL#also putting a reminder of myself to use the stickman covered in blood reaction image i used here#because its literally leo in CW chapter 14 (DONT WORRY ABOUT IT /lie)
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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i was right :((
#this sucks actually#basically ive been getting bug bites#from some mystery bug im allergic to#and based on a few things i assumed it was fleas#why else did it keep biting me? it had to have some benefit & i know im not allergic to mosquitoes#+ i knew it couldnt really get to me under my covers#i knew it was small bc the amount of bites increased but i never spotten anything#so fleas#BUT my parent apparently checked my cat for fleas whilst i was at school and found nothing#shes not very likely to get fleas bc she doesnt really get a chance to#she barely interacts with the others bc we have to keep her separate#if we dont one of our cats keeps fighting her#and she hasnt gone into the garden once#i change clothes after getting home usually so its not very likely she got them from those#anyway all this means shes been suffering for a good bit and i didnt figure it out#i did notice something was off#she kept trying to eat a poisonous plant and got really bothersome with it#but i also got that one really recently so i thought it might just be the plant#mine#cats <3#it has to be fleas or some type of mite on my cat
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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again
Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee
Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.
Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.
Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg
SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.
Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be
Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,
ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.
Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at
I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.
Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao
#sand speaks#hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text#i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised#like at all. itd be so bad#anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all#i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong#or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab#and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of#saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises#anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved#like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me#anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom#i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time#tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical
when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....
#snap chats#please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago#what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did#they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back#moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u#but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so#the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other#on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare#not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other#as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look#again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent#the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry#idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual#OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato#cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry#but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki#like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato#he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA#he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical#i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv#at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK#but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep#ima go bye
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the cover i commissioned for my book is almost finished... this feels so surreal.
#i cannot overstate how much painstaking effort i've put toward completing this novel over the course of like... basically a decade now.#the first in a very long-winded series but a monumental achievement nonetheless. and it'll be released THIS YEAR.#blazing through these final edits so by the time the cover art is finished i can start planning its debut.#there is literally nothing that i am more passionate about in this world than my art.#when i suggest that writing this book has saved my life that is by no means an exaggeration.#fame means little to me as does monetary value i just want to share what i love with others#after suffering a lifetime of isolation and ostracization#so i really hope you all will stay tuned. <3#riley rambles#once it's finished i'll be working on finalizing the official page too! so look forward to that if you want to learn more.
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the thing about the character creator in sonic forces is that it was a really fun idea but the execution could have been so much better. i could fix him
#sonic forces you to make a sonic oc ...#as far as changes i would make go.#i like that clothes arent gender locked but i think they should take it a step further and not force girls to wear that weird suit thing#its just weird and pointless. considering theyre animals with nothing to cover up and the boys can be naked if they want#and i think they should have shirts/pants be in separate slots instead of making you only pick one#and maybe also add a slot for a jacket and one for an accessory like a backpack or a scarf or something#also just. better customization options in general for the base character#like options for body markings. better quill styles for the hedgehogs and also having the hedgehogs eyes be connected#stuff like that#okay well iirc theres body markings but they take up a clothing slot which i think is kind of stupid#and i mostly mean stuff like chest fur arms being a separate color from the rest of the body that sort of thing
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A Matter of Blood :)
#my art#wtnv#wtnv fanart#welcome to night vale fanart#welcome to night vale#dana cardinal#dana cardinal wtnv#wtnv podcast#its deff one of my fave 3 parters. rly well written and i love dana#2 drawings in a row of characters covered in blood...what does it mean#(nothing lol its just a coincidence but i thought it was funny)#blood tw
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that squid game reality show genuinely & sincerely makes me so irrationally angry & the stupid ass takes surrounding it make it so much worse.
i actually sincerely cant handle it. it makes me so irate bruh
#mine#it's so fucking mindboggling it rly fucking is.#squid game has incredible writing that can be deep & intricate at times#but when it comes to the message & themes it was literally as blatant & direct as possible.#& it's great that it was tbh. esp w how popular it got.#but holy shit it also means when ppl just willfully disregard its message it is actually physically painful#bitches rly saying in defense of the reality show 'oh well the og show's games were only bad bc ppl died'#like... my dude. you CANNOT be serious. i am on my knees BEGGING for a sike you cannot be fr#did yall all just cover your eyes during the hell episode or what#did gi-hun's speeches to il-nam mean nothing to u.#literally what the entire fuck are u saying like the show didnt bash u over the head w a frying pan abt its theme#it's not even lacking media literacy at that point like it's literally not even up to interpretation#IT LITERALLY BLATANTLY SAYS THE POINT MULTIPLE TIMES I CANT#AAAAAAAAAAAA#i wanna rewatch the show ON netflix outta spite now. imma do that bye
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genbu ai has been found dead in miami.
#JK JK this is really exciting im glad kotarous getting an ai singing bank first#the whole point of virvox is a variety of masc synth voices after all and hes got like a really interesting voice#like his goofy very character-y tone is pretty unique so thats gonna be pretty fun#i seriously would have thought ryuusei would be the first tho. mostly just because hes so popular#but then again his voice provider might be busy. hes doing a lot of vtuber stuff and theres the upcoming aivoice2 talk bank#and yeah i didnt think genbu would be first LOL i prophesized this......#i mean i didnt know for sure but i did think it would be kind of funny. and it is kind of funny <3#also low key... i wouldnt be surprised if they gotta hold off for a bit. genbu might be cursed? they have been so so SO unlucky with him#king of software deprecation. king of contracts falling through. hes trying. hes trying#so i was like okay the first ai singing bank might not be him KJDSHJfdsjhkfds#besides as much as i would like an ai bank for benby (i would selfishly prefer a SV bank specifically so i can have my SV conveniences LOL)#im pretty satisfied with his concatenative. if you havent noticed <3#also selfishly i hope the next singing bank announcement (whenever that is) will be sourin. i think hes another really unique vocal#and also i want that old man. i need that old man. who said that#but any of them im exicted for. the younger guys kotarou and takuto i think about a little bit less often than the others#but i still like em a lot so it'll be fun to have that (not)catboy around#when we get more info i may start planning out some songs for him to cover.... ruh roh im already considering a few....#edit: im hoping SV because i like it but i'll be fine with any engine. except someone reminded me ace studio exists#i went from no fear to one fear in seconds flat. nothing against the software ive never used it its just#subscription software is not something i can do orz. please anything but that. i will be happy with anything but that LOL
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I would kill to hear jungkook sing the weeknd songs or weekndesque music. starboy album is basically my ideal sound for him
#would kill for to cover songs from that album and/or make music inspired by him that sounds like him#i would probably die for this as long as i got to hear it first#jungkoooooooooookkkkk im begging you#Imagine love to lay or a lonely night or nothing without you or secrets or#i think his pr/music team wouldnt be against him making that kind of music its just that they are not talented enough to make good music#and yeah itd be unwise and i wouldnt want to just copy paste an already existing artist onto him#but just. god would it kill them to give him some real good music#that matches and makes use of his skill and potential#i guess a difference with the weeknd is that the weeknd well sort of makes his own music ( i mean with producers etc but still)#and i dont think (obviously) jungkook is on his level#but i think with the right team and jungkook on it#its not impossible#they must know that the generic outdated sound of golden just isnt what people want#they need to make it unique and create a personal artistry of jungkook
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明けの女医と宵の魔女~僕と彼女のみだらなカルテ~
#manga covers#i dont even have the patience to romanize this#let alone translate it#just get it out of my damn drafts#ya know there is a level of stupid generic fapbait#where the anatomy isn't just stupid#isn't just passively unattractive in that it fails to be sexy#but becomes like actively repulsive#not in a grossed out way#but just like out of sheer silliness#and an inability to percieve it as anything but a joke#but the very idea that the artist thinks it SHOULD register as attractive to people#feels like if someone gave you the ole wink wink nudge nudge to point someone out and say#''you know what they say about big feet'' with absolute zero trace of irony or sarcasm#and having to be like#''buddy... those are clown shoes...''#and i mean this is barely even that#but its just so much nothing presented with such confidence that that nothing can carry it
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