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cochineal-leviat · 5 months ago

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Yo, you once said you "Learned to be satisfied whit your work" and I just wantes to know ¿Any lessons about that you cam provide to a small artist/writer? Over all when works as good as yours or other i've seen can make you feel you're bad and intimidate you (I didn't finish Castalia cone yet because of that)

(Sorry for my maybe bad english, I speak portuguese and I'm learning)

Hmm, quite a few questions you have there. I will try my best to answer!

Being satisfied with your art is no easy feat. It certainly sounds easy coming from me after more than a decade of practice, but then I do not tell you or my other dear readers how long it took me to accept the art I produce. It is a lesson in loving yourself.

As you read this, I may sound sappy or loopy, but I am not kidding. You are an extension of your art, as art is how you express yourself. You put a little piece in yourself in what you make; as such, we judge it the same way we judge ourselves. So, when your self-esteem is low, your opinion of your art will also be low.

The first step to acceptance is knowing this and trying to be kinder to yourself. There is no right or wrong in art. If it does not feel right, take a break and try again later. Art is a skill you build over time over a very long while. And that is the beauty of it. We are ever-evolving creatures with many stages in our lives. We truly unfinished clay sculptures, just like our art. You, as the artist, decide when you are done with an art piece because there is no such thing as finality when it comes to your art.

If you struggle with something, realise art is a process. We love making art because of the joys creation brings us. Perhaps the finished product, like a painting or a chapter, pushes us forward, but truly, if it were not for the middle, why would we keep doing this? We struggle and get back up again, all for the love of the game. And it is going to be very frustrating. I will not lie and say I have not cried before because I thought my art was ugly and worthless.

But I have learned as I grow older that it was not necessarily my art that I hated. So instead of thinking, "I will never get this right" or "My art is not good enough because it does not resemble this artist`s skills." I changed my course of thought to, "I will get it right one day because tomorrow is another day." Everyone has their own journey with art, making us all wonderfully unique.

Of course, this is easier said than done. So, allow me to give a few tips! I am unsure if you want tips on the visual or written arts, so let me divulge shortly in both forms:

Study and practise: I know this sounds boring as hell, but a big part of making art is referencing what already exists. But you can make it fun! Draw what you find interesting and want to see more of. Study what makes an art piece tic, or practise your observation techniques. The same thing applies to writing. Reading a lot helps broaden your horizons and your vocabulary. Over time, you integrate tools and quirks into your own art that you have seen somewhere else before. Everyone's skills are built over a long period, and studying great artists who used to be just like them. Before this, I filled out a sketchbook every month or so. Dedication is key. (You do not literally have to do this. Start small, please. Doodling is a good first step)

Watch art tutorials. I hated doing this as a teen, but seriously, it helps. YouTube has a lot of well-made tutorials you can watch and learn from. The most essential skill for any artist is learning how to build up an art piece from a rough sketch to its final stages, regardless of whether it is a digital or traditional piece. Learning your shapes is an absolute must! Mastering these will open many doors to you.

Not immediately understanding the material and taking a break is not giving up. Knowledge is one thing, but your brain still needs the time to catch up to what you've learned. I have agonised over stuff like this for ages, and then poof! The next day, suddenly, it clicked. We are only humans, and our bodies need the time to adapt. So, give yourself the time to learn and adjust to changes. Everyone learns differently, so you cannot compare yourself to others. It is a losing game and will only give way to frustration. You know you are on the right track once it feels seamless to draw or write.

Specifically for writing: draw from your own experiences. Writing is closer to the heart than the visual arts and can hit your readers deeper than any blade can. The pen is mightier than the sword, after all. When I write, I immerse myself in the world and characters I create. At that moment, I was really there, feeling what they felt and experiencing what happened to them. So if the moment is serious, you have to treat it as such, and when it is hilarious, you have to write it jaunty. You do not literally have to have experienced the things your characters do. Heck, I have written a lot of characters I disagree with or about experiences that are too wild for me to have ever been in. But that is what reference material is for. It does not have to be realistic. As long as your audience believes it, it is good. We do not read fantasy stories or sigh after fairytales because they are realistic. We read because, at that moment, we are in that world, so explore this world and make it a place we want to experience, even if it is a ruthless world. For example, with Kieran in Pokemon, I draw from my own grievances and self-hatred when I was a teenager, which is why his pain and grief feel so potent. Sure, I am aromantic, so the love bit stuff does not apply to me, but I read a lot of romance, so I still have a well of knowledge to draw from. A good writer and artist fills their gaps of knowledge and adds to their skill repertoire (still, not haste to fill that gap. This fills up with research and time)

Bonus tips for writing: take notes and outline what you want for your story. What are your goals? What lessons do your characters learn from their experiences, or what do you want to tell your readers? You do not need to know the end, nor must it be serious. Just like visual art, you are entirely free in what you make. Notes and your outline can really help later down the line when you are stuck. Btw, these are guidelines, you do not have stick to them if you want to take your story in another direction. There are art rules, but once you learn them, you can break them to climb to new heights.

Lastly, have fun. I am serious. Once art feels like a chore, you will not want to do it, and it will feel more draining to perform. This is your outlet, not your work. Love the journey, and treasure the skills you pick up. Every time, you will see it gets a little easier, and you will look back on your old art and perhaps feel embarrassed. But that is normal. Lords know I used to be embarrassed about my old works. (And I still am sometimes) But being embarrassed is okay! It means you have approved. Forgiving yourself and moving on is the most important part.

I hope my advice is useful! I simply wrote what I would have wanted to know when I started with art. Do not be afraid to try things and ask for help occasionally. Have fun creating, and remember to be kind to yourself!

PS: Please finish Castalia Cone Creamery at your leisure. There is no rush. I post my works to be enjoyed, so please don't push yourself to finish them.

#asks #sorry for the long rant #I got passionate #art tips #I hope they are sufficient

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kxowledge · 2 years ago

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Haven’t done a proper update in ages and truthfully I’ve been neglecting this blog, but here it is:

Went to Glendalough for my birthday, which I enjoyed immensely. There’s some advantages to living in the British Isles, but I doubt I’ll be back in Ireland anytime soon. So far, it’s the worst country I’ve lived in and I will not miss it. There’s job aplenty, but the cost of living and the housing situation are not worth it. I know mine was a limited experience, but I also feel like Ireland has lost a lot of its cultural identity. Except for their accent, someone from Dublin and someone from England would not differ much, from what I could see. This of course is more accentuated in Dublin compared to rural places, but even those are losing so much of their heritage – their crafts, their cuisine, but also the natural landscape (which is stunning, but suffering and changing significantly). I’d recommend THIS series of documentaries and THIS cookbook if interested. It’s strange to think about the fact that someone of the people I’ve met have lived through the Troubles, yet now any sort of distinction with the UK seems to be non-existent. I am generalizing and really, I shouldn’t because I’ve also see inspiring local efforts at preserving biodiversity and bees and the Irish language and a connection with nature and art and crafts and so much more. And as much as I can complain about costs of living and housing, I know this sentiment is common. There’s potential for the future and it will be interesting to see how things will evolve.

Finally, finally!, done with the exam session. I’ve been enjoying hiking and swimming and being in the sun and now I also reading, beyond coursework. At least to a certain extent, because I still have two exams in September for theology and I need to start preparing for my Master’s degree. I’m excited for the latter, but also I wish I had more time so I could brush up on various topics in advance (econometrics, strategy, microeconomics).

Taking a gap year (turned into multiple years) was a good decision. [I know I promised various posts on this topic, and I will! I will! write them, but this is not it.] Very unexpectedly, one of the main positive things to come out of it is that… I have interests. All my time during my (first) BSc was geared towards survival – internships, jobs, what I learned, how I spent my free time. Either it was for basic necessities (money to buy food, building basic habits, etc) or in order to break into finance or find out what I was interested in when I realized I hated working in finance. It’s not that I didn’t have interests per se, but any interest was confined to that and never went beyond a simple ‘I would like to’. Doing new things is not always easy, true, but it was mostly that I didn’t have either time or money for any sort of hobby. Hobby being the wrong word, but also the only one available: by no means my chosen career is more important than these. And now I’m into wines and permaculture and gardening and bees and pottery and bouldering and botany and theology and philosophy and perfumes and embroidery – and there’s much more to explore! I enjoy a great variety of activities and make sure my life is filled with different interests, because it is enriched by it. Beyond simply the joy that all of these bring me (and will continue bringing me in the future), I also feel calmer about wanting to go into academia. It is my chosen field and I will try hard to make it my career, but if it doesn’t work out, I know I’ll still be okay, because beyond that there’s so much more.

Anyway, what brough the above stream of thought is that I’ve been really, really into perfumes lately. Love everything about them (except the prices). This June I attended a Frederic Malle event which gave me a deeper appreciation of some of their fragrances. I’ve also bought a Floraiku discovery set, which I’m excited about. Desperately want to sample some Carner Barcelona fragrances (I love Palo Santo and want to try Tardes and Latin Lover!). And so, so many more. I’m having such fun.

I guess that as a general update, I should talk also about faith, but I don’t really want to. I don’t like black/white distinctions and this is where I landed. Faith is fluid, faith is a path and a spectrum. I don’t believe God exists, but I want to and that is enough. Doubt is part of the Christian existence. I find value in religion and that is enough. I don’t know what this means in practice, but I’ll keep reading the Scriptures and I’ll keep attending mass (hopefully more regularly, still at distance for now, maybe in presence at one point). I’ll figure out things eventually, for now, this is enough. Faith can be a journey too.

As I mentioned before, I still have two exams to prepare before September, one on St Augustine, one on Practical Theology (I’ve chosen to focus on the baptism ritual in early Christian communities and on the Eucharist for the nonbaptised). A v busy summer indeed!

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tarotnoob · 3 years ago

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PAC: Park Jimin’s bday! What spiritual transformation(s) will you go through in this life?

I love Jimin. I can’t tell you how much, just trust me. I picked this topic for his day because I feel like he’s a perfect example of someone who goes through challenges and uses them as a catalyst for transformation.

That and he has scorpio mars/venus, so CHANGE is in his DNA (see what I did there, ahaha... ha... love you, Jiminie!)

Please choose a photo (1, 2, 3) and scroll for your message.

Pile 1: BV4 Jimin in NZ

Pile 2: 2020 MMA Black Swan Jimin

Pile 3: 2019 Muster Jimin

Pile 1

I would’ve cried if lunar eclipse came out with Pile 2. It’s always fascinating when the oracles line up with each other as Lunar Eclipse says it is “a time of seeing the light”. Basically it’s 5 of cups. It also reminds me of the doll in Squid Game.

Okay, so... this is a pile that’s not going to have it easy. I feel like there are going to be paths you go toward and no matter how much effort you put into it, it’s not going to pan out. I suppose the comfort in that is that path wasn’t meant for you, but that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking. All of the oracles - for me - indicate a series of challenges and disappointments, but they’re meant to challenge you and bring out your character. Like your own personal Squid Game... isn’t that... uplifting to know... even though, really, why would I expect any of those characters to be moral when they ended up in their situations because of their immorality, but hey... you can’t argue with hype.

The good news is in the tarot, we have six of wands. On the one hand, this would mean that eventual success will come to you, maybe even to the degree of fame, or it’s that you do achieve a certain notoriety in life and being famous or well-known or out in the public light will also be a source of your personal challenges, despairs, insecurities, having doors shut in your face.

I”m kind of seeing this 8 of wands as a barrier and by barrier I just mean a hurdle, like watching horses jump over those... obstacles.

There’s also a lot here in the tarot about communication, especially online, and writing - so this may be a pile for people who are interested in careers as published authors, musicians, poets, artists, public speakers, etc... But to get to that dream, you’re going to have to go through a lot. It’s also possible that challenges you experience will fuel your art and then you end up sharing that with others.

I think fragmentation is a bit about our inner personalities? You know all the different sides of us and this matches up with lunar eclipse again and the idea of “phases” that are dark/light. I also see the fragmentation as the light coming through the cracks - so I see you going through, unfortunately, not just one or two low/dark/depressive phases, but... several, but each time you come out stronger and knowing who you are more than before. Kind of like a pokemon that can only evolve through a series of tough battles.

I’m sorry my analogies are so dumb for this pile.

I’m focused on this queen of swords eyes being shut which brings me back to lunar eclipse (and squid game) - you know the game where the girl bot closes her eyes and they do red light green light... but that just means, like the game, you’re going to experience a series of starts, stops, failures, restarts, etc... but in the end, the people (who survive) do end up at the finish line.

It also feels like there’s a degree of luck involved with your situations and sometimes you think it’s on you, when really it’s just bad luck. I really hate that I’m relating everything to squid game bc it’s just an okay tv series for me but there’s all kinds of obvious references in this pile, so maybe a lot of you are watching it now or just watched it or really liked it or are going/will go through similar experiences of being down on your luck. The cactus, too, makes me feel like I should tell you to prepare for battle since it’s a plant that has to rely on its reserves to live in a desert. So, you’ll have to really rely on your inner power/strength/will to push forward.

So yeah basically you’ll transform through a series of hardships in this life, BUT the universe seems to think you can handle it and it does serve a purpose, and it seems to be for two reasons: 1 to inspire a sort of art or expression that could have an affect on others 2 to prepare you for when you reach a certain level of success that you can handle the hardships that come along with that without crumbling underneath the pressure or responsibility

Any personal messages I see here, too, are... creepy squid game robot girl and there’s a hand under the table on not for you?

It makes me think of a “divine” hand or something that’s guiding you, basically all the things you go “why me why did this happen” are part of a pre-determined game plan and you’ll have to navigate your way through the challenges. Sometimes you may feel like a pawn, but I guess it’s more like, you know, you’re really the queen because you are always free to move however you like. I also want to say that some of these challenges will feel entirely unexpected and out of the blue, may even include traumatic incidents.

Right, personal messages - so like I said, I get a lot of intelligent people here, people who are good at speaking or writing or just tend to overthink and analyze before they make decisions. I see you as someone who does dream about some kind of goal that includes being famous or acknowledged, recognized. I feel like you might be impatient for this to happen. I also see - I know this is a birthday reading - but I actually feel several birthdays coming up soon, so maybe a lot of Libras and Scorpios here, so perhaps that’s also why you might soon be center of attention. I see you wanting a better life for yourself, and you may have been working on this goal for a while, feeling like it’s not ever going to come (there are cobwebs on the six of wands)... and you know, it may not come until the later part of your life bc Queen of Swords looks like she’s older, you know, so late 20s, 30s, 40s... there’s no rush to get there bc it’ll come eventually IF you persist through all of these challenges you encounter and reserve your strength for until the end like you would have to in, say, ... squid game.

I don’t need to say SQ, i should probably mention chess... I mean sq and chess are both long-term strategy games... I think that’s why qos is here, too because this is a long-term strategy game the universe is putting you through to set you up for various wins and losses, but really the tarot cards show that you will eventually succeed and triumph, so those challenges aren’t your punishments or anything, they’re challenges and some will just be natural parts of life, too, bc life is all about balance - there’s good shit and bad shit. And it’s not always about you, that’s just life, y’know... and there may be times where you compartmentalize aspects of yourself, feelings, thoughts... it might be difficult at times to see the wider perspective... but yeah like I said, even those dark parts of ourselves are just... parts of us, not good or bad, just... normal, and it all depends on how much power we give our “weaker” parts and by weaker i guess I mean low vibe moments...

and yeah I see a lot of colors around the heart and crown chakras... so probably a lot of transformation around heartbreaks... sorry. but the good news is good things will come out of it, especially if you can write a memoir that blows up. and also in this light card it talks about seeing the space between the trees which reminds me of that saying “can’t see the forest from the trees” which is a quote about perspective and seeing the bigger picture.

i feel like i’m being pretty cheeky here, but that’s bc this sounds like the type of pile i would pick and i’m like yep... thanks... that’s great, love... learning through hardships and challenges when others have it easier...

but really strong, amazing people and projects and advances come out of situations like this and maybe you’ll end up playing some type of “hero” role. and you can’t be a hero if you’re all spineless and weak, so the universe dumps on you to prepare you like a really strict and terrible parent who tells you that they’re only trying to do what’s best for you by making you practice your clarinet for 8 hours a night instead of doing what other kids get to do.

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Pile 2

Okay, well, so this reads strongly of being in an incubatory phase. There’s a lot of cards indicating a lull, pause and also an indication that you should put focus toward details, organization, reprioritization. It’s very strong virgo energy and not just because of sixth house... peace, aloe vera, well, hermit... two of pentacles reversed also emphasizes a need for organization. Calling the storm is also about a storm coming in for a reason so that you can regain perspective and reorient, or take that time to rebuild or focus on what’s priority or what you need to build... basically I see you as the person trapped in that egg and I say trapped bc I’m a gemini with barely any earth, so no offense.

I guess I see six of cups and 2 of pentacles as indicating this being more a past energy, like... in the past you were lacking in any preparation or maybe you weren’t even prepared for something that came into your life and kind of blew things apart and now you’ve retreated back into this headspace of needing to be alone, to rethink some things and strategize. I do feel like it’s... someone who goes through a tornado, is left with a broken house, and it’s just you out there in the cornfields and then you have to rebuild the house on your own.

I FEEL like if you aren’t really a person who’s very grounded or into details or organization... it’s... a time to do that anyway. There’s really something going on if someone’s hitting you upside the head and going “bro, bro really? bro get your shit together.” Not as in you’ve been doing everything wrong, this is more like THIS IS A VERY POINTED AND SPECIFIC PHASE OF PLANNING AND STRATEGIZING. given that this is a reading about transformation, i feel like this is something you are going to have to learn in life and it even may hit you unexpectedly if you don’t learn it on your own... if you’re someone who hates being alone, if you can’t sit still, if you don’t invest in the long-term... this is something that you’re going to have to learn one way or another. or, it’s a sign that you need to slow down... the other message about sixth house has to do with health/body, so - this isn’t for everyone - but i would read this as perhaps you’ll encounter a health or medical issue (yours or someone else’s) and it’ll teach you what’s most important in life and on top of that, it’ll slow life down to a crawl so that you regain perspective... i do feel like there will come a time where you are humbled, however that may happen, you may even think quite highly of yourself and then get knocked down a peg. i feel like part of the journey is about discovering inner peace, inner calm... something i think will be extreeeeeeeeeemely difficult for this pile. bc i feel like your energy is bouncing around, i feel also this is a pile with those who might even be codependent in relationships - like you really don’t like being alone with your thoughts for too long so you’ll have to figure out how to be comfortable being alone, with yourself, being happy in your own company. and the aloe vera/restore also indicates a time of things needing to come to a stop or pause and having to restore yourself before moving forward... you’re the egg, you’re the hermit card... i’m... going to say this bc... not to scare you but the calling the storm really worries me bc i really feel like you have the potential to be blindsided bc you missed all of the signs to stop or slow down - and like i said, this could come up as a health thing or a job thing or... something that affects your daily routine in some way but obviously big issues that come up will always affect that... i also feel like - i mean it’s affected everyone - but covid would’ve had a huge affect on this pile, more than most, and may even be a pig part of your challenge, but was a necessary one bc it’s gave you a lot of time to think about things and sit with yourself even if it’s been uncomfortable... this would be a pile i’d suggest doing some inner child work, too. i feel like that’s been neglected a bit...

there is a “humble” energy to this pile so... how can i put it, it almost feels like a lot of folks who would have a north node in an earth sign when their south node was fire... or even like uhh aquarius north and leo south... any of the calmer, more “subdued” signs might be where your headed or at least a north node that would imply more structure. not bc there’s anything wrong with being full of fire and air or excess emotion... but for some reason... you need to be slowed down and given more foundation...

overall transformation stuff aside... this is a good time for people drawn to this pile to... chill, be introspective, don’t rush anything, get organized. if it hasn’t hit now, maybe it’ll hit as jupiter goes direct into aquarius on the 17th... maybe you’ve already started pulling away from people and going into that internal space... and if so, you’re right on schedule to do so. :)

or jk being in the pic threw everything off and he threw his virgo energy into the mix which tends to happen lol

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Pile 3

it never fails. even if i threaten the other piles i’ll only take 1 card per oracle deck, pile 3 is like - but i need multiples of all and extra tarot. why do i keep taking them? i dunno bc it’s typical. it even wanted 3 of the black moon oracles and i said no, you can have the ones that flip showing the image, so i put one away and i think it was the revolution card.

so, saturn coming in strong for this pile, saturn is going direct on the 17th in aquarius. saturn return may be a thing for this pile.

these flower oracles are very interesting... both talk about how we choose to react to external situations... i’ll quote dandelion: “do you think becoming is an experience of passive emergence or a process of active transformation?” and chanterelle: “what actions do you undertake that cause disease in your life?”

and then it just hit me jimin wrote the bridge for “Dis-ease”... that’s weird.

okay my first impression is that this is a pile that’s going to have to learn how to process their internal reactions to external stimuli. this is... a pretty tough task imo bc i’m still working on this myself. this is a lot about becoming a person who’s strong enough/secure enough/loves themselves enough inside to no longer be bothered by other people who haven’t reached that same level of vibration and EVEN are secure enough to extend sympathy and understanding to such a person. imo this is the ultimate in spiritual evolution. you’d have to really achieve that perfect inner calm and when you react to someone else, even if they’re screaming in your face (which isn’t acceptable and you can stop them however) but you don’t have any real immediate reaction TO THAT and aren’t offended bc you see that the situation has nothing to do with you and is all about them and that person’s wounds and how they’re projecting onto you and even though they’re attacking you, you only see their hurt and feel sorry for them and also are even able to feel gratitude for how far you’ve come and what you have.

so just with these two flowers alone (plus you have truth and love and all these optimistic oracles plus queen of cups and world...) i see a transformation, this “becoming” being about developing an “immunity” to things that don’t matter. and that would totally involve becoming more like the queen of cups, someone who’s got a control of their emotions, who’s also sympathetic, as well. like if you’d gotten the king, i dunno, but for sure with the queen... there’s a level of empathy here, even in the face of... restrictions, i guess. and then i feel like on the simplest level, your truth is about love... and that’s not just loving others unconditionally but loving yourself as obviously you have to love yourself before you can extend that to others and no longer react to triggers.

saturn-truth and thinker go well together too bc ... this isn’t a sort of thing that can happen over night... this is... someone who’s had life experience and, tbh, this feels like someone who would have already come out on the other end of their transformation, with a pretty good spiritual alignment... even the elements are pretty balanced... you don’t have sword cards here, but thinker stands in just fine. and today for tomorrow gives me gemini vibes but when i see this card, i think more of... well i think the original meaning has to do with... sacrificing things today for the future but then that means not being able to appreciate the present. so there may be a message to that about slowing down, so you may have also been drawn to pile 2. but intuitively what i see in that card is... the struggles that come your way are to prepare you for the future. i actually get a lot of optimism from this card in this particular reading... i also see this as you taking other people’s hands and supporting them bc other people may have supported you on the way or even if you felt no one is there, you want to be someone’s future strength.

let’s get back to the black moon cards. so the truth card is equal to 3 of swords, venus is equal to the empress (i’m not making it up it’s in the guidebook). i mean it should be obvious that i feel like this pile jumped over your challenges - thought i’d say they’re probably a combination of 1 and 2 since those piles actually had those challenges come up. so my thoughts are a lot of you were drawn to 1 and 3 or 2 and 3 or if you’re already at a pretty good place spiritually, you jumped right to 3. bc to have empress and 3 of swords... you’d have to be someone who’s experienced many heartbreaks and disappointments, especially when it comes to relationship and/or work/money. You would have put a lot of time and effort and thought into understanding that hurt when it internalized, you would’ve done the shadow work on your reactions... that takes a lot of time... that’s why maybe the saturn return would come up as a possibility - you may be well into your 30s before you’re able to achieve this sort of balance or mindset, and 30 isn’t even old, that would be... quite an accomplishment to have this sort of inner peace by 30. you’d have to be jesus-level. and he was, what, 32? forget. or was he 28. hm. i thought he was the same age as kurt cobain. kurt was 27 and jesus was 30 to 34 for the record.

so yeah part of the transformation is a restriction that (to start) was placed on your heart or emotions, so the transformation will be overcoming that - whether it’s disappointment in love or people... and then doing a complete 180 and... learning to love people for those flaws, or, well it makes sense I brought up Jesus bc... I’m kind of a jesus fangirl, not bc of religious reasons bc, I feel like Jesus had a lot of self righteous rage like I do, so when he saw people being a fool, he would’ve called them out. Like, Jesus would be an online troll today, always going after bigots and stuff... he flipped tables and was awesome. That’s the sort of Jesus I admire, not bc some set of rules that magically appeared on a tablet and told us how to “behave” or what was right or wrong, but... he had principles. He wasn’t perfect, he was clearly human, here to have a human experience and a rather traumatic one at that - even though, well, we all come here to have a human experience only to DIE. we just all don’t die by crucifixion and getting stabbed with spears after being betrayed by those closest to us.

though sometimes in life it certainly feels that way. metaphorically.

and so i bring up jesus bc... you know these people hurt you, you may even know you have some type of cross to bear. it may be a very isolating and lonely journey full of heartbreaks people will never understand, you may never receive apologies or closure, the people closest to you will betray you, but you still continue to move forward AND you don’t become completely cynical and even learn to feel sympathy for others, even if they’re cruel to you.

there’s this thing in catcher in the rye that i love... i love when holden talks about whether or not judas went to hell for betraying jesus and killing himself and holden said he didn’t think jesus would let that happen but then whoever he was arguing with - i forget if it was his parents or a schoolmate or teacher - were like that’s blasphemous to say. granted, that was just the author projecting his own shortcomings and hoping for forgiveness, but i still like that idea of jesus feeling sorry for judas... bc tbh i feel sorry for judas that he was basically used as a pawn to facilitate the moment that leads to jesus’ predicted sacrifice...

my point is there’s a lot of LOVE here that springs from a really deep pain... of constantly being let down and just... yeah. but instead of being a dillhole, that you turn what you’ve learned about life into something that can spread joy or hope in a sincere way. that’s why this dandelion card makes me think of someone spreading their “seed”/message (not like that you pervs) but maybe since the empress is here and it’s all about fertility but i read this more as the birth of a message or you could create something that can spread a message of love through art or writings, but it can just be the way you choose to live your life with love. i see you as being able to become very wise and able to offer advice to those in pain...

right i didn’t even really get to the tarot yet... not for all but yeah this would be a pile of old souls. i feel like some people will chose this pile out of habit and ... i don’t want to say it doesn’t apply, that’s not nice, it probably means it’s your potential, i just personally think that it’s a long way to go in life before people achieve this and some people THINK they are like this when there’s still lots of ego attachments but that’s me projecting and nothing i see in the cards so i apologize for projecting and being cynical as i’m not at this stage. i’m probably pile 1 >.> and 2. and i’ll stress again no one is born this way... venus is emerging from this clam as a full damn adult, not to mention i think pearls are created bc pressure and mud and... it takes a lot of time. also since 6/4 is here and i think pearl is the stone for june this may have a lot of gemini or early cancers... but i already said i had gemini vibes... sun moon risiiing (and venus).

let’s look at the tarot... queen of cups, world, strength, knight of pentacles.... this is the ideal, right... with knight of pentacles, there’s a sense of being earnest, of hard work, of being dilligent and pushing through even if at times it felt like everything was moving very slowly, but it’s a very solid, reliable, will not break energy... this fits with the world, bc this is also earth energy, it’s one about cycles, it’s about creativity bc of the 3 it comes down to, it’s success, it’s the literal world, it can be had work and restrictions, karma. saturn is a very scary and intimidating planet, like... tough love.

in this particular deck when i look at the world - i see the masks on the trees as representing all kinds of people... but it could be choices or parts of ourselves, it could be the idea of how we’re all the same so things we see in other people (if they trigger us) are just reflections of who we are and next to the queen of cups, i do see this as someone who recognizes the darkest and best parts of themselves in other people but also loving people regardless of their background or where they come from bc in the universal scheme of life life, we all come from the same source. in theory. strength is strength, i usually would just say wow will power, but i’m actually reading this as the sun and how the sun keeps everything orbiting around it with its pull, but the strength card is about that inner strength so this is... someone with the inner strength to keep everything external of them going and moving together in a calming, organized way... again this is an energy that’s like... enlightened master level... i do feel a strong sense of judgment and karma... well i shouldn’t say judgment since that’s a pluto card so just karma being dished out bc knight of p guy is making this list, saturn is about karma...

so this is someone who is aware of karma and will receive the karma they’re due... but i also read this as for people who have a very specific role to play in life that will probably make them - as the kids say - a light worker? someone who learns the truth through life and spreads the truth... and by that i mean... spread light and spiritual knowledge - not in a weird cult-y way i hope but through actions and the things they create... you’ll have a lot of impact on other people and the planet as a whole, its energy, etc... i feel like what you do in this life will spread in ways way more than you even realize and then that will take root in other people and they’ll spread it too... and part of that message involves... teaching or reassuring people on... how not to react in negative ways... and that’s bc i can’t put this into words... it’s more like... pushing people in the correct direction of spiritual evolution. there are a lot of people going the wrong way but there are also a lot of people becoming more open to spirituality these days and so that message will still probably spread more than it ever has but it has to to keep up with all of the negativity in the world and to really even spread that message sincerely and have an impact, one would have to gain immunity TO that negativity. does that make sense? which is probably also why the world came up in terms of a cycle. you go through a cycle to evolve and then assist others to go through the same cycle and they assist others, blah blah

like look at the strength card. bro has an axe in his head and he’s unbothered and he’s tough and can handle anything anyone throws at him. but he’s also just in these old overalls. he’s not wearing anything fancy. there’s humility to this card. a quiet strength... but it’s a mighty strength. and the world card reminds me of the light oracle pile 1 got about looking at the spaces between trees (like that light coming through). i was going to go on a starseed rant/tangent but i’ll hold back bc all beliefs are valid, i take more issue with... those who just have an egotistical attachment to labels and a need to create some type of superiority hierarchy >.> so what i want to say is looking at the queen of cups sometimes you may feel like an “alien”, you may feel lonely, misunderstood, like you don’t belong, especially when you look around and everyone else is at each other’s throats and that can hurt your heart as well... but somehow you manage to find that balance to... empathize? i’m not at that stage yet so idk. i get the idea on principle but some people (a lot of people) really fuckin’ suck ass.

but idk, your transformation is about becoming an unbothered king/queen.

to relate it back to jimin at the end of all this, it kind of (all three piles) remind me of the evolutionary period of his life, spiritually speaking, and i can only say that as an outside observer, someone who doesn’t know him personally at all. but i feel like he went through pile 1 as a stage, pile 2, and will achieve pile 3 or is at least on to that stage bc i feel like anyone who is THAT much at the level of being in the spotlight will have their journey escalated? which is probably why the pressure becomes too great for some celebrities... i feel like well it’s obvious that being a celebrity would bring out a lot of insecurities or negative behaviors or coping mechanisms, especially at a young age and then as you get older, you have to learn how to cope with those internal feelings while also learning not to be bothered by the external. and that’s not just celebrities, that’s all of us, that’s maturation and age, it’s just that like i said, a celebrities internal process for that is way thrown off or accelerated bc their challenges/restrictions are way more intense than someone not under that pressure. i mean, some celebrities are just douchebags like any person can be... i think jimin is a good person who went through various phases that were kind of like an internal conflict of this is who i am vs this is how people see me or this is how i feel i need to act and then everything else that goes with being an idol and becoming an adult, etc...

i’d be very excited if pile 3 is his final evolution. i’d like for the people i respect and care about to be happy, for sure... so i’d like if he went from a queen of swords energy to a queen of cups... that was longer than the other piles. that seems unfair, but... “so whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat”

#tarot #pick a card #park jimin #birthday #spiritual transformation #destiny #bts #jimin #jimtober #spirituality #astrology #spiritual advice #tarot reading

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leamy-world · 3 years ago

Text

Some afterthoughts on The Devil Judge (spoilers for all the drama!)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well!!

I wanted to write my thoughts after the finale aired because ep. 13-14 made me a mess and were too nerve-wracking! After these two episodes, i only wanted the week to go by fast to see how the finale unfolded (but at the same time, this drama entertained me sm i didn’t want it to end haha).

Watching this drama each week and reading your reactions and thoughts made me enjoy it even more, i’m glad i came back on tumblr! It was a really nice ride (more like an emotional rollercoaster haha)! It motivated me to write my thoughts and analyses on fictions i watched in the future, especially My Mister and Beyond Evil!! I forgot how much fun it was to do that and putting my thoughts into words gave me a little closure to my watch haha

These are just some afterthoughts & personal interpretations i had and were maybe probably already discussed, but i couldn’t get them out of my head haha

See you around and take care!!!

THE CAST. It left a strong impression on me and i can’t see other actors playing their respective roles!

— Yohan portrayed by Ji Sung … i have no words, this devil judge left me speechless! His character, to his Devilish Smile (and hollow laugh in front of CKH and his son, or Gaon), his variating voice intonations (like damn, he’s a living ASMR like Lee Sung Kyung), his held back emotions and touch-starved and even desperate touches when it came to Elijah and Gaon, to his rage and unhinged moments!

I winced seeing him contort in pain when Sunah revealed Elijah accidentally lit the church fire, and the two times he hugged Elijah totally destroyed me. His last scene with Gaon showed how gazes & micro-expressions alone could convey unspoken words as strongly. I’m weak for these kinds of scenes, My Mister for example did it and killed me haha

For this post, i rewatched some scenes and damn, Elijah and Yohan’s support of Gaon after Soohyun’s death was really emotional …

(They had no business in making Gaon have this kind of dream, those german scissors left a ... strong impression on him haha)

— Kim Min Jung’s depiction of Sunah’s was hauntingly beautiful, a femme fatale who kept a broken child deep inside (and at the same time surfacing on her manners and personality) and a strong businesswoman. It’s a fascinating character i loved hating as a villain but still sympathized with. The scene where she murdered the former foundation’s president sent me chills down my spine (i still have her shot of her, sitting at his bureau and manipulating his speech video)!

The melancholy slipping through her facade when she visited the mansion the first time in a while, as well as her devastation in front of the President’s scheme, by the young girl’s bed at the hospital were memorable. The tension between her and Yohan was incredible: they both managed to keep a very disturbing but enthralling aura, tangled with nostalgia at the same time each time they met.

(Looking at her reflection is a recurring pattern for Sunah’s character, i found this shot above interesting, divided in the two ends of the mirror, as if her self can’t be found on the other side anymore)

— This was the first time i saw a drama with Jin Young and i really loved his playing! Never thought I’d say one day i enjoyed someone’s tears and rage on screen, but his crying scenes stuck with me, especially in the prison yard and the last episode (he deserves therapy after all he went through, really) … And his letter to Elijah … (i’m glad nobody harshly revealed the truth to her, i’m really glad!)

I loved to see how his gaze evolved through this journey with Yohan. His endearment to Soohyun, Elijah and Yohan was very precious ;; Even though Yohan was the one who was first seen feeling lonely, Gaon’s loneliness since his parents’ death slipped through his seemingly fine world, i found that interesting! (And on a lighter note, i’ll always remember the truth behind Mrs. Ji’s cooking, Gaon’s epic reaction, and the pure comedy she gets to own a healthy food shop thanks to Yohan!!)

I also enjoyed his supportive friendship with Jinjoo!!

— Park Gyu Young’s acting was also on point! It’s really too bad she didn’t get more screen time because i wanted to know more about Soohyun!! I felt robbed haha, because when TDJ began airing, they introduced her as one of the ‘main’ characters of this story ;; The scene when she was on CKH’s suicide scene really left a mark on me + when she was confronting Yohan, especially after she took Elijah out!

— Elijah. Just Elijah, our best girl!!! Apparently it’s one of Jeon Chae Eun’s first roles, she did so well!! Along with Ji Sung and Jin Young, she gave a whole new definition to the Domestic Scenes, i swear. These scenes will keep a special place in my heart for a long time! Her adorable smile and cheekiness were a refresher in this show!

(They could change TDJ’s concept in a second season and make us a domestic slice of life series, i wouldn’t mind AT ALL! Take my money!!)

Seeing her complicated relationship with her uncle unfold before us deeply moved me. The complete loneliness she silently depicted moving to her bed in the wheelchair, after Gaon left the mansion was heart-wrenching. And also the scenes after Soohyun’s death, hurting with Yohan seeing Gaon’s pain (the way she spoke her worry for the two of them, Yohan couldn’t let the words out properly to Gaon).

— CKH’s character, played by Jang Young Nam, was amazing. Her acting already shattered me when i watched Nobody Knows! Her cold gaze, her harsh tone, she was badass i have to admit!

The narcissistic rage was well depicted in her character, and even though i get where many’s opinions on her death come from (i share it too sometimes, but i feel it more for Sunah), i found this final decision fitting to the character, especially if you look how she treated her own son (each hold felt like a grip from rage eg. in ep. 3, as she maybe felt her son was the cause of her demise).

(HUGE SPOILERS FOR BEYOND EVIL BELOW!!!!)

She reminded me of HKH’s ending: seeing his path to success was crushed with no way out of it except death on his own accord (in his eyes, because it was his absolute life aim, every single being, to his own wife and son, and means, even bending the justice independence, were his expendable ways to pave his path), HJW’s father was set on suicide before his son barged in.

(Funnily enough, the filming spot for CKH’s house is the same for HKH’s house haha)

— And also … Lawyer don’t-worry-i’ll-get-you-out-on-probation Ko deserves a round of applause for the best lawyer he is hahaha

THE STORY’S DEVELOPMENTS (AND SCRIPT). I feel like this story could very well have been developed on 20+ episodes! Even if i know some scenes in a script are sometimes (bound to be) cut in the drama, TDJ’s script leaks make me feel there was SO much more to be told, and so much more to explain some plot events in the airing drama!

Because the story was ambitious, both character and plot(twists which give you whiplash)-driven (and also the filming context with the pandemic), i feel like some choices were made.

The lines of thought about justice and the drama’s attempts at its ‘true’ definition are not lost on me. It was really interesting!

On a side note (there will be many, bear with me haha), the symbolic behind the app’s name, DIKE, which i’m pretty sure (correct me if i’m wrong, i only have some very rough basics in korean haha) is the korean romanization of Nikè, or in ancient greek Νίκη, the greek divinity of Victory ( ‘ㄴ’ in korean sounds like an ’n’ but its pronounciation is more abrupt/brisker, to the point of what could be sounding to ears like a ‘d’).

Nikè is most of the time represented as an attribute to other greek divinities who also embody the victory eg. Zeus or Athena, thus seen as a bestower of victory (in any domain, be it war, games = interestingly enough, the live court is set in a colosseum-like room, arts, …) to the humanity on behalf of these gods (Nikè sometimes stands in her palm as an attribute of Athena, like the owl or the helmet). But sometimes Nikè was also revered an independent protective divinity.

Nikè is represented as a winged divinity in a long robe, flying above the victorious, assisting the humans in their works/challenges eg. handing them a laurel crown as a sign of victory, or a helmet, etc. Its mostly known representation is the Winged Victory of Samothrace (or The Nike of Samothrace) sculpture in the Louvre. The brand Nike also used it in its logo.

It calls back to Yohan’s line: « I make sure i win before the game starts », and in fact, since the beginning, unbeknownst to everybody witnessing the trials and participating to them, the app was his way to win. It foreshadows the ending of the story, Yohan finally taking down the foundation. It also adds to his god/devil image: he assumes the role of the intermediary/abyss of the « gods » (the Justice), taking in all the hubris of the society in order to bring the justice (well, guess we could say it put some hold to the cycle of the powerful culminating to chaos?) back, in some sort of catharsis through DIKE.

It might be a stretch, but Nikè’s winged representation could be found on Gaon’s tattoo (at first to me, it looked like a phoenix/winged angel, which symbolizes a ‘reincarnation’/new beginning for Yohan finding peace, a second chance to his past and Elijah thanks to Gaon & Gaon finding a new world even if his first crumbled ie. his parents and Soohyun’s death and professor Min’s betrayal).

(The whole virus plot by the end of the story made me feel a little uncomfortable given the actual context and the conspiracy theories that are spreading, but it wasn’t used carelessly and served the commentary of the powerful and how far they would go, i think? That said, a fiction, especially a dystopia like this, stays a fiction but when they used it, it gave me a forced laugh haha)

Now, if someone gets to translate some script bits, i’m really looking forward to:

K’s backstory!!!!!

Isaac and Yohan’s past!!!!

More about Elijah!!

Where’s the cat???

What was the script saying for Gaon and Yohan’s confrontation in ep. 12? When Yohan faced the window, waking up from a nightmare after Gaon left?

ABOUT SOOHYUN’S BACKSTORY. (Now, this will get long, i’m sorry but i needed to let my thoughts out haha) The drama introduced her as one of the four main characters with Gaon, Yohan and Sunah. I had so many expectations for her character! Especially from the three scenes we got of her:

➔ In the first episode, we see her save a young girl in the street from two men, looking up at the poster « A safe Korea will be realized from now on. »: it was a great introduction to the blatant lie of the ‘safe’ dystopian world that was being created in the story. It also showed how Soohyun felt in front of this insecure world. A side note, but seeing her hug the young girl like that reminded me the hugs she gave Gaon: she wanted to protect him from this unjust world with all her might (especially the scene in the restaurant where she hugs him). ➔ Her two confrontations with Juk Chang! ➔ Her dilemma and emotional turmoil when she erases Gaon’s presence in CKH’s office.

She was portrayed in the story as Gaon’s pillar since his parents’ tragic death and his moral compass. She’s the lawful citizen, despite feeling helpless to the world’s changes, who hopes it could be saved as long as the rule of law is preserved by everyone, and this begins by respecting it themselves.

But she was not standing around and i kind of regret this was not shown more in the story: she kept doing her best in the « system », fighting from the inside the injustice hoping the little changes could make a difference someday. Because she couldn’t take Yohan’s path, in no way: the system/the law must be respected for it to be sustained. And i’m glad they addressed this point in the drama: Yohan chose to take on the role nobody wanted or even dared to assume, knowing fully well he became a criminal the second he began his plans (just as lawyer Ko said he was no longer a lawyer once he sided with him).

This must not be glorified, nor vilified. As he said, it was a choice he decided to make. She mirrors his choices to some extent and i would have loved to see more of their interactions or her thoughts about that! And how she worked through the system to change things, her vision of the justice. They showed us the flashback of her career choice in high school, and it could have been interesting to learn more about her!

A backstory about her saving the youth and meeting Sunah by accident would have been very interesting (given Sunah knew all about her since the beginning and ordered to kill her). Their meeting wouldn’t have foreshadowed Sunah’s plans, quite the opposite, and it would have given more ‘substance’ to her plans. We were robbed of this relationship haha!

And of course, seeing her side with Yohan & Gaon for a short while (because seeing her team up with them all along the way could’ve been a little ooc) would have been dope. Her arresting Juk Chang while the two of them stop the gang was the closest thing we had to their teamwork ;;

Among the drama’s main focuses (the self-pity of the powerful and the never-ending cycle of their greed, the power displays it ensues which come in many forms in the system’s game), the conception of justice was developed all along the drama. It would have been really interesting to see whether Soohyun’s conception of justice could have changed in her own way!

And professor Min’s potential manipulation of Soohyun!!! Some scenes on their interactions could have been nice to see and explain why she focused solely on Yohan, the only side of the whole story she knew! Her reporting to the professor about her investigation (and him feeling she got too close to the truth) would have made sense because, as she saw Gaon growing apart from her as he was getting closer to the Kangs (especially since she saw him interact with Elijah when they invited her to the café, like Sunah saw how Gaon fit in their family at the dinner scene), she would’ve wanted to protect him without him knowing because she knew it’d have hurt him. It could have paralleled Gaon’s reports on Yohan to the professor at the beginning of the drama. And that could have explained (aside from the whole love triangle dynamics they had) her reluctance to tell Gaon Yohan was the one who told her his whereabouts when he was in danger in ep. 13 ; this scene also was one of the only moments addressing the lack of communication in their relationship. Seeing her feeling confused over Yohan could have been interesting!

(This also got me wondering whether in the script, Yohan’s injury was ever addressed.)

Also, i’m curious about her family, if the script mentions something about them: did they know Gaon?

About the loveline between Gaon and Soohyun: while the friendship could have stayed as is (it already felt pretty genuine in my opinion and strong friendships also deserve to be portrayed in stories), i’m convinced this drama wanted to set Gaon as the center of a subtext love & morality triangle between Soohyun and Yohan (and K and Sunah on Yohan’s part). I think i would’ve appreciated Gaon and Soohyun’s loveline so much more if they developed it more! And it had to develop in the very same episode she died: apart from the confession and kiss scene (i’m curious about the scene’s description in the script), the flashback of their moments, seen from Gaon’s pov, came just right in to ‘explain’ it!

Of course it wasn’t the main focus of the story and there was already so much happening, but their new relationship development and her death almost had no impact on me even if it was set as a turning point for Gaon (and K for Yohan, as a cement to their respective decision to fight the system and how they would do it), and it made me really really sad! Of course it was a plot device (and i now wonder what would’ve happened if she or K wasn’t dead), but if it was bound to happen, the emotional impact was lessened!

Jinjoo’s character development and her relationship with Sunah happened really really fast, and i wonder how the script describes it!

Sunah’s involvement with the juvenile care center!!! Her scene at the hospital left me really sad.

(Also, on the love plot, Gaon and Yohan jealousy bits weren’t used later as an expression of their envy towards the other’s status/life/etc. and were actually directed to people outside ie. Sunah/K/Soohyun in the plot, which makes me think they really wanted to set it as a love triangle!)

ABOUT SUNAH’S DEATH. I feel really really conflicted on this point. Her story was a parallel to CKH (and of course Yohan, i’ll talk about it below): two women — coming from totally opposite backgrounds — climbing their way up by their own means in this power circle. And despite all their accomplishments unnoticed (because they were the ones seeing through their plans while the others were mainly seen tearing each other into pieces), they could still be ruthlessly ejected from this world any day, part of it because they were belittled as women all the same, and chose to end her life on her own accord, still having agency over it.

As someone else pointed it out, it also acts as a « poetic » retribution for her murder of Soohyun and K. BUT her exiting the scene in some other way staying alive could have contrasted with CKH’s suicide (especially since she overthrew the president who was the only one on her side getting in her way and even killed him in the end). Especially in a show that deals about how the justice can be carried out!

Of course, Yohan and Sunah were a foil to each other in their respective fights and traumatic past: the drama showed us how having someone to reach out to and protect (Elijah, Isaac and Gaon to Yohan ; Soohyun, Yohan and Elijah to Gaon) can become a driving force. Sunah, despite thinking this could be a weakness, also longed for companionship (from Yohan mainly, but also from Jaehee), and had no one to stop her crossing the line and preserve her from herself and the world. At least someone hearing her story, staying by her side and trying to understand her.

Each time she said ‘can you be a little nicer to me?’ to Yohan made me feel for her (and also that one call with Jaehee), it was the only cries of loneliness she silently let out!

On a totally random note, i would have loved to see her interact more with Gaon (especially by the end of ep. 15, when Yohan was arrested)!

The story gladly didn’t end Yohan’s traumatic past and growth in death, but what about Sunah? In any case, Sunah was a really good and complex character, i enjoyed her character!

What about Jaehee? How did she react to Sunah’s death???

What about CKH’s family after her death???

I would have loved to hear more about Sunah’s plans as well! Scenes where she would play with Gaon for example (in Yohan’s presence or not, like at the photoshoot)!

(This comment above foreshadowed, along with the dinner scene in ep. 11, she used him all along!)

Her involvement behind the scenes was only exposed in ep. 15 but i wanted to know more about her (motivations aside from her focus on Yohan, what did she plan to do before finding out a look-alike to Isaac, ...)! Given the elements in the plot, i get the idea she planned this whole business with the foundation first to reach the top and wanted to bring Yohan up with her (eg. leading the foundation or becoming the president) or down without her along the way, because she wanted his companionship. Maybe the script expands on it more? Did she really believe in the Dream Home project? Because as we saw her speech in the juvenile care center and her strong reaction to the youth being harmed in these schemes, i believe she kinda wanted to protect them as the best revenge on her past, because nobody could do it for her?

THE ENDING SCENE. The ending was pretty good and didn’t give us an all-out tragedy, so i’m really glad! I still can’t believe Gaon was ready to blow his life away once he learnt Yohan’s death AND wanted to die with him (falsely) realizing Yohan wouldn’t change his mind, dead set on his decision (no pun intended!). And Yohan’s reaction to this ............... Now, their last scene is left to the viewers’ interpretation, but it felt to me like a new beginning to Yohan and Gaon’s relationship! As it was already said by many people on tumblr, Yohan wasn’t sure if Gaon would still be by his side despite it all, and he didn’t expect Gaon to feel this way. They’ll definitely meet again, it’s a promise of more in the future (especially Yohan’s nod, on the verge of tears and Gaon’s two relieved/endeared smiles, full of forgiveness). Gaon will join his new world once he’s done or they’ll come back to him once Elijah’s recovered.

And this game of hide and seek/hunt reflected their relationship development: Yohan felt unattainable at first, but he chased after him in the maze that was his devilish game, symbolized by the crowd, chasing him motivated by his suspicion, curiosity, anger and hate, disbelief and disappointment, empathy, worry, affection, desperation and love, until he finally reached him and they understood each other among all the crowd, living metaphorically in the same time, facing each other on the same (ground) level.

(A scene in the first episode, Gaon seeing a maze of Yohan’s reflections, maybe symbolizing he could not see through his facade in the beginning, being an enigma to him at first sight ; the choice of the reflections in the mirrors through the drama is interesting and reflects the story: depending on the angles, a story can hold as many meanings as there are points of view, the complete image surfacing once everybody’s story is told)

(Just like how, in ep. 4, Yohan shows Gaon the wicked system right under their noses, Gaon’s enraged and confused gaze directed right at Yohan after they all block his view by clinking glasses ; Yohan hoped he would understand what lies beneath but Gaon understands it fully through his own past in ep. 7-8)

(The crowd is cleared from their/our view in the final scene, leaving the two of them facing each other without any obstacle/reflection on their path)

Gaon kept Yohan’s watch all the time even in moments of doubt, sorrow and rage (the best PPL in drama history so far haha), Yohan finally got to Gaon and entered his world as Soohyun did, reaching out when he needed it the most, to stop him doing something he would regret deeply. It was symbolized by the scar he got on his left hand from preventing Gaon from stabbing him (that’s also why he caresses his scar in a bittersweet way, lost in thoughts, reminding him of their last meeting).

As @i-guess-it-rains said + according to the BTS’ editing (it passed off as a joke but i can’t erase it from my brain now haha), the way the scene where Yohan defused Gaon’s bomb was framed looked at the same time like Yohan was also carefully handling Gaon’s heart (the bomb countdown clock radiating a red glow on his chest), on the verge of exploding. Now i have The Nights lyrics in my head haha (« My heart is going back to you, i just don’t know »)

On another note, i realized that in ep. 12, after Gaon left, he’s seen trying to call Soohyun in order to reach for her since their last confrontation, but right before, his finger glides over his contact, hesitating on Yohan’s contact before choosing to call Soohyun.

While in ep. 8, he only reaches out to Soohyun after his breakdown in the prison yard (without thinking to call Yohan because he was in the core of his doubts and pain at that time and needed space to reflect on all the events):

And it parallels to Sunah attempting to reach out to Jaehee in her loneliness at the top, hesitating before deciding to call her.

Now i hope TDJ will be on Netflix! It’d be very nice to get to watch the drama in high quality and have more people to see it!

I heard it got a webtoon adaptation so i also look forward to it once it will be translated!

A SECOND SEASON? When i first saw the ending, i thought it got wrapped up nicely and didn’t « need » another season, but it also left some parts open and laid out a new background for further developments (the system repeats itself but in another form, Yohan leaves the scene with his signature smile, maybe up to something else again, saying metaphorically or irl to Gaon he’ll come back if he doesn’t do well), kinda like Stranger/Forest of Secrets s1 or The Guest ending (the corruption doesn’t end there). I also heard it got high viewing rates in SK, so maybe it will be taken into account? And well, i’ll miss the cast so i would welcome the idea haha

THE SOUNDTRACK. The whole OST was stellar (and their titles are on point really!)! Getting to hear it without voices or noise over and with my headphones on made me realize it was even more beautiful! Because I Have You, Warmth That Melts Loneliness and If Only… are the end of me (especially If Only aaaaaaa)! Don’t get me started on Enemy of Truth’s title to the OST playing for the church fire because it’s devastating ;;;

If Only’s title … It leaves us filling in the blank space, the dots to Gaon’s thoughts when he learns about Yohan’s past and how it impacts him to this day.

The 4 songs were amazing (there’s also Different from the Outside but i still didn’t get its lyrics). Tempest was definitely etched in my mind as TDJ’s main theme haha And The Nights was my favorite!

➔ Tempest was Yohan’s iconic theme and depicted his lonely path to revenge after the tragic events in his life, and his (fated) encounter with Gaon, how deeply it will change him in this journey in ways he didn’t expect. It perfectly introduces (with Chet Faker and Flume’s Drop the game) and concludes the drama!

➔ What you gonna do was THE revenge epic song making everyone revel in the ‘bad guys’ despair and Yohan’s badass moves!

➔ The Nights felt like it was both Yohan and Gaon’s theme and Gaon’s sorrow after Soohyun’s death: at first i thought it was only Yohan’s, but his revenge and the last episodes proved me wrong! The song’s lyrics mirrored themselves (‘my/your night shines on you/me’), as if a complete understanding between Yohan and Gaon was found on their dark road. Yohan’s night shines on Gaon: Yohan’s broken past and all his misunderstood or hidden sides, his dedication to Elijah. Yohan’s rage (almost wrath since the biblical and god symbolism are there haha) and desire to take the inique system down waked Gaon’s own rage, buried deep inside, and made him move forward too. Gaon’s night shines on Yohan: all the time he spent with the Kangs, Gaon’s deep empathy and understanding, helping him reconnect with his niece, their dinners at night, his rage exploding when the truth about his parents was revealed, his desperation on the last two episodes (in ep. 15, seeing Gaon’s realization everything was a lie and Yohan was innocent, and in ep. 16, Gaon wanting to die by his side). Gaon’s night also shined on Soohyun, who wanted to protect him with all she got each time she saw him crumbling down.

There was still light on their dark road (which looks like a callback to Nightmare’s lyrics, « Save me from myself / Save me from this darkness that has lost its light »).

➔ Nightmare felt like it was Yohan and Sunah’s theme. When it last played when Sunah’s death happened on screen, it left me speechless (and if i remember correctly, the ‘save me from myself’ bit was played right when she shot herself … o u c h)!

#the devil judge #tvn drama #my ramblings

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mysticdragon3md3 · 3 years ago

Video

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Ranma ½ is GENIUS. Here’s Why by Bonsai Pop

The thing I really appreciated about Ranma ½ when I was younger, was that it was a discussion about gender without getting sidetracked by sex, the way most “sex comedies” did, especially at the time. At the time, publishers tried to market Ranma ½ as a “sex comedy” in the vein of raunchy college-setting Hollywood movies or fanservicy Male Gaze series (compare “Futaba-kun Change” or the proceeding “harem genre” that Ranma ½ started). But Ranma ½ felt more like a discussion about gender more than sex, or even more than sexuality. And being an AroAce kid, who didn’t know what AroAce was at the time, but was very confused about my gender, I really appreciated Ranma ½’s focus on gender over sex, fanservice, and heterosexuals navigating (sexual) relationships—which, I *cannot* express enough, was the saturated majority of all anime/manga, that even came close to discussing gender, at the time. I just wanted a discussion about gender, gender roles, complaining about presumed traditional ideas about gender, and how to define one’s own gender despite society’s pressures about gender. I wanted a discussion about Strength, that the martial arts genre did so often, without an advocation for sexist ideals, toxic masculinity, stereotypes about “feminine” being weaker (even as warriors), fixated only on romance, or any number of female stereotypes, etc. I feel like I can’t remind people enough of how it was back then, when not only were these toxic mysoginist ideas portrayed frequently, but they were also portrayed as good, true, “right”, or unquestioned. At least when Ranma Saotome was being a sexist jerk, he was punished for that terrible thinking or eventually had to reconcile with his dissonance. And Akane Tendo was revolutionary at that time too. It used to be that on the Shonen genre side, we had only hyper fem, passive, romance-fixated, love interests, OR nagging, cold female characters that really felt like the author was conveying all their horrible views on women in general, OR sexy eye-candy that had close-ups on their boobs or butt so frequently, that it completely made their lack of focus on romance or anything else in their personalities, secondary. Then on the Shoujo genre side, we had girls who were fixated on nothing but romance, constantly jealous and possessive—and often over guys who hadn’t even proven themselves worthwhile to pursue romantically. Let’s face it: A lot of Shoujo leading men were often jerks, treated their female love interests badly, and for some reason, she was just supposed to play the devoted “Lady Murasaki” and be totally “in love” with him. Whyyyyyyyyyy????????????? Even worse on the Shonen genre side too, because he treats her badly, it doesn’t get portrayed as bad treatment, he doesn’t understand why she’s angry, so she just looks like a volatile nag all the time, often existing only to be objectified or serve as a flimsy motive for his character arcs and actions. It was a pretty bad time. Not that now has eliminated those problems, but when Ranma ½ and Akane Tendo seem like the shining lights of something different, maybe then you can understand how much I sorely needed Ranma ½ and Akane Tendo at that time.

Really surprised that this video essay didn’t mention Jackie Chan. The thing that differentiated Ranma ½ from so many martial arts battle anime/manga at the time, was that Ranma ½’s style of martial arts was inspired by Jackie Chan. Meanwhile, all the other Shonen martial arts manga/anime were so serious and based more on “cool”, “action” genre toned martial arts movies.

I’m intrigued by this video essay’s idea that Ranma ½ the series isn’t sexist, but rather, characters within the series are sexist, and are so in order to make a point about how them being like that is messed up. I need to grapple with this because one of my problems in looking back at Ranma ½ is that it can be a little transphobic and/or homophobic at times. Like, I’ll never forget when Tsubasa Kurenai was introduced and, Akane, this character that we’re supposed to completely sympathize with during this series, just keeps screaming in Tsubasa’s face that they are a “pervert”, simply because it’s revealed that Tsubasa identifies as a boy but dresses as a girl. I think the episode just ended like that, and that was supposed to be a joke, but I don’t know whether the reveal’s shock intended on the audience was supposed to be conveyed through Akane and we were expected to have the same reactions as her, or if we were supposed to be shocked at Akane’s reactions and her reactions being ridiculous were the joke. I dunno; it was a long time ago, I don’t remember much context, and I really should look it back up. But frankly, there’s a lot of Ranma ½ to sift through and that’s more time than I have, writing this post. Akane does seem to repeatedly have instances of being perfectly nice to characters, but when she discovers they’re actually guys, she spends a lot of time yelling “pervert” in their faces. Sometimes I don’t know if we’re meant to see how ridiculous Akane is being or if we’re meant to agree with her. Again, I watched/read the series a long time ago, and maybe if I re-watched/re-read it now, it would be clear to older me. Because, when it happens between Akane and Ranma, Ranma has a specific line, grummbling about how Akane was perfectly nice to him, up until she found out he was actually a boy. And Ranma was a bit nice in his characterization up until that early line of dialogue, so maybe we were supposed to be on his side in that thought. So maybe Akane spending the rest of the series yelling “pervert” at Ranma (repeated so often it’s essentially their running gag), is supposed to be a joke laughing at how irrational Akane is being. o.o? I’d hate to think we’re supposed to be on Akane’s side, repeatedly calling Ranma a “pervert” over a curse that he had no control over getting, and early on was portrayed as a misfortune that the audience was supposed to sympathize and pity him over. Maybe the whole thing is supposed to point out Akane’s flaws, since everyone in the series is pretty messed up. (Even Kasumi unsettled me a bit when I was younger, in that she dropped her entire life, to replace her mother’s role when she died. For me, being a young girl who didn’t buy into those traditional female roles, that were still at the time, strongly pushed onto girls in society, that was a little unsettling. Still love Kasumi as a person though.) Akane did have reason to “hate boys”, as the series specifically states early on, but I’d like to think that she was given this flaw as a point to grow away from. Just as this video essay calls to attention Ranma being sexist and, over the series, eventually growing out of it. But back when I was young and initially into Ranma ½, I feared that some of these sexist or even homophobic ideas in Ranma ½ were actually reflective of thoughts that Rumiko Takahashi advocated. After all, there’s a point in Maison Ikkoku where Kyoko berates herself by saying all women are fools. Maybe I was too young to see the nuance in a character berating her own mistakes in her love live, vs the implication that all women are “properly” stereotyped into being obsessed with love and end up acting foolish for it. Nowadays, I can see how we can berate ourselves whenever our specific actions can slot us into generalized stereotypes, and we curse ourselves for falling into proving stereotypes true on occaision. But back then, when I was younger and watching Ranma ½ for the first time and reading Maison Ikkoku for the first time, I was afraid that such lines were reflective of Takahashi believing such stereotypes as truth. Which is why I was so happy when sometime after Ranma ½, Inuyasha had a canonically gay character, and instead of Inuyasha calling him a pervert the entire time, he just got exasperated with his non-stop flirting, the way that all the female characters from Ranma ½ are tired of guys who won’t take “no” for an answer. At the time, I thought, “Yay! Takahashi has evolved to a less homophobic stance!” But maybe, all this time, she was always against such things, and merely portraying them, even through characters we were supposed to sympathize with, merely to show how messed up such ideas are. I really like that thought which this video essay presented.

But I will disagree with this video essay on 1 thing: The manga is better. I’m not trying to be elitist. I realize that comedy has a very subjective sensibilities, and the anime leans into awkward silence type comedy, whereas I am sick of that type of comedy. But so many visual gags and jokes in the manga, and Rumiko Takahashi’s style in general, involve panels that are almost completely re-drawn, with only 1 element changed—the gag element—suggesting that the eye is supposed to read from panel to panel quickly (since the human eyes/brain filters out a lack of change, and is hard-wired to focus on changes from previous conditions). To me, this suggests quick punchlines, whose sudden oddity is supposed to shock, implying an intended fast pacing to the jokes. And yeah, Takahashi will draw seemingly normal scenes, detailed with all the normalcies of a commonly recognizable environment, then suddenly the next panel is exactly the same except a character is contorted into a silly pose or an absolutely ridiculous creature with an intentionally nonsensical facial expression has suddenly appeared, amid that completely “normal” scene, with all its “normal” details _redrawn_. It’s why the “evil oni” episode in Ranma ½ had a ridiculous face, despite its supposedly ominous background. In fact, anywhere Takahashi can fit a gag face, especially if it contradicts the surrounding scene’s/story’s serious tone, she will do it. She has even said in interviews that if scenes are too serious, she will try to put in a gag in the corner. I remember reading Maison Ikkoku during a depressive episode (for both me and Godai) and suddenly Yotsuya had poked his head through a hole in the wall, into the scene, shining a flashlight onto his own face, like a kid telling a ghost story, all while he made funny faces and Takahashi’s typical gag with the sign language “I love you” gesture. The woman cannot let things stay serious (except for Mermaid Saga, parts of Inuyasha, and some short stories), and I love her for it! ^o^ But the way she suddenly injects ridiculousness into scenes and character designs, suggest, at least to me, an intended fast paced delivery with the jokes. That sudden shock when you notice Yotsuya making faces in the corner of a depressing scene. That sudden shock, when Ranma is hiding from his mother, and is clinging to the ceiling or futons like Spiderman, and Akane is just supposed to act natural so Ranma’s mom won’t notice where he’s hiding. To me, this suggests the punchline is supposed to come at you like a sudden punch, unlike awkwardness that hangs in the air. So when the anime tries to make the joke linger, I just don’t enjoy it as much as when my brain can dictate the faster pacing I want (and believe better fits) while reading the Ranma ½ manga.

Also, the manga is better because those manga filler episodes were not as well written as the manga. Rumiko Takahashi is a master of short stories. And that shows when you run into the less-effective filler anime episodes–even when you don’t know they’re filler episodes! I remember watching the Ranma ½ anime before reading the manga, before there was even internet lists of which were the filler episodes, and coincidentally, all the filler episodes did not make me laugh out loud, whereas every episode up until that point, had made me uncontrollably laugh. I feel like the anime thought that because Ranma ½ was an episodic, very silly series, they could just insert anything and it would fit. But clearly, only the manga-based episodes—and even individual scenes!—had the nuance of Takahashi’s writing and pacing, to make even an episodic, ridiculous series work.

Also, I love how this video essay just lavishes the love on Rumiko Takahashi. ^o^

Another thing this video essay pointed out that I appreciate about Ranma ½ is how indifferent Ranma is to all the advances of his suitors or even accidental fanservice. All the consequential “harem genre” series that tried to emulate Ranma ½ always seemed to include male protagonists who were surrogates for the audiences’ intended horny reactions. But Ranma was neither turned on, enticed, nor tantalized by even accidental fanservice falling into his lap. (As Mother’s Basement has noted, harem genre protagonist have a penchant for accidentally falling and grabbing a girls’ boobs, or their face falling into her boobs, or accidentally put into a position to forcibly see up her skirt, etc.) If anything, he’s more embarassed that he accidentally walked in on girls in undress, rather than enjoying the view OR reacting so long, that the scene drags on, fixating on the accidental nudity/groping/fanserivce. And I was about to postulate that maybe because most harem genre and fanservice series are usually made by straight men for an audience with a Male Gaze. But Takahashi wrote Maison Ikkoku’s Godai, right before she created Ranma ½, and he very much enjoyed the view, took peeks, and fixated on any accidental fanservice. So it’s actually Ranma himself who had reactions and a perspective that were very agreeable to this asexual.

I hadn’t noticed before this video essay said it, but Happosai really is condemned much more for being the “pervy old man” archetype, whereas other series are very permissive towards that same archetype, even when they’re being sexual predators. I’d like to attribute this to Takahashi bringing a woman’s perspective, but Sailormoon was also written by a woman and (if I remember correctly) Rei’s grandpa’s pervy ways were reprimanded in only 1 episode then permitted as a running gag in the rest of the series (thankfully, not often). Then again, lots of the Shoujo genre also advocated for many toxic traditional ideas about gender (like girls picking romantic partners who don’t respect them, and girls being fully devoted/invested in such guys, because they “once” meet the bare minimum for human decency by being nice to them once). So maybe it was uniquely Takahashi’s prerogative to not let the “pervy old man” archetype slide as supposedly “endearing” silliness.

#ranma 1/2 #ranma1half #rumiko takahashi #video essay #analysis #gender #manga #anime #nostalgia #old otaku #martial arts genre #shonen genre #reactions #reminicing

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theelliottsmiths · 4 years ago

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Peter T. strikes me as the sort of person who would enable things like Till’s candle stunts and then get offended over Till the End.

I can’t even really put my finger on it, but idk, there are just people that get fascinated by extreme things but then can’t cope with the reality of it, idk. It’s how he’s a diehard metalhead but then in interviews and other things sometimes comes across as pretty conservative. I also think musically he’s a bit of a one trick pony, which isn’t bad, but a little boring over time. I think Till likes development more than he lets on when he’s all like “I’m a simple man, I don’t like change.” In all the Rammstein making ofs he always seems quite excited about them trying new musical directions (as opposed to exemple Paul, who always doubts.) It’s most noticeable on LIFAD, but really I think it’s always been there. Plus he likes to push himself lyrically, he clearly said so when he first worked with Peter and had english as a new playground. I don’t really think Peter is that kind of artist.

I really like Peter, but I can’t help but feel like they ended up with resentment (no communication over the DVD release?!), and I think maybe Till just doesn’t have the patience and self sacrifice in him he has for Rammstein, because having that sort of loyalty to one project seems quite enough.

I also got the feeling that Peter really didn’t like the way writing for theater worked in particular, and that Skills in Pills was more his thing. M&F objectively was the way better album but it was mostly due to Till and his lyrics and his vision, it’s quite clear he put so much heart into all of it (which he would, seeing as he seemed to do it mainly for his daughter.) I don’t know, I think ultimately they really grew apart in what they wanted for the project. It would have been nice if they could stay friends but seeing how personal music can be, that’s a tall order for most people. That’s the thing that makes Rammstein so special in the first place and I can totally see how experiencing the alternative and how it actually goes for most projects gave Till some perspective on “the wife”.

Sorry for ranting into your ask, I felt like spewing my opinion I guess.

Yeah I've gotten vibes from him I'd describe as voyeuristic but either apathetic or out of his depth: It's a gruesome curiosity but he can't necessarily handle what comes with it once the immediate thing is over. There's a kind of romanticisation in metal culture around self injury and other dangerous activities (see: remember all the murder stuff that happened?) that doesn't seem to account for the actual human aspects. People into that kind of thing, at least from what I've observed from people I've met and heard tale of, will be in some ways cool with the behaviour that is Extreme and Exciting but have a harder time with the crying and emotions and othersuch consequences. I'm sure this isn't universal, it's just A Thing I've seen.

If I'm honest the actual music of Lindemann and Pain kind of bores me. It's squeaky like when you chew halloumi and sounds like it's in a box and I don't know if it's because it's often just him writing it or what but be does seem more comfortable than is maybe useful there. Till and Rammstein as a whole are capable of and embrace (even reluctantly) new ideas and general growth. Tills skillset has changed and blossomed as he's aged and worked on it and he does, yes, seem excited by trying new things. That was the point of Lindemann, having increased freedom to explore things Rammstein didn't want to explore as a whole. Even if that freedom did largely mean getting silly and gross at first, it's all just experimentation and pushing boundaries. Skills and Pills is a teenager in album form and f&m is in its twenties. Hopefully that makes sense.

I could so easily see them having an argument because their creative elements became totally mismatched as Till evolved and Peter just kind of... Didn't. Not to mention he didn't at all seem excited by or invested in the art that Till has been building into his work lately. Maybe it got too intense: this is Till were taking about. Not a half measures kind of man.

It did, in hindsight, seem a little suspicious that f&m was in German, since Peter doesn't speak it. The beginning of the end? A hint that maybe Peter was just willing and musically available but not necessarily passionate about it? In interviews they mentioned Till having to even just talk Peter into writing ballads when they started which, idk, it seems representative of a larger mismatch.

For the record because it actually comes up a lot re: Till and sometimes Flake, there's a difference between change and Change. They've said before that Till gets really upset and stressed when they change their setlist or lyrics—even if he agrees with the changes because that's not the point—and he's more comfortable sticking to what he knows but that doesn't mean he doesn't get bored. He's a very curious man who likes learning new things and when you don't have the pressure of the unknown of change its a completely different experience. That and you can know something is for the best whilst still grumbling about it, just like when my GP changed their answer message pathway to objectively make more sense so I simply hung up and whinged for a few days before calling back and preferring it. Nobody is immune to cognitive dissonance and the creative drive is way stronger in him than pretty much anything else, often to his detriment. The guy says he hates loud noise and people and yet continues to do this for a living. I have no doubt he hates change so very much.

So uh yeah. You don't need to apologise, it's interesting and I'm glad you sent it.

#conspiracy theory they just broke up their sexless marriage #lindemann #till lindemann #me rambling #you rambling also

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uni-colyon · 4 years ago

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v-force episode 2!

aaaaaaand we’re back! i’ve got chicken fried rice for dinner and i’m hungry for some beyblade content yim yum

THEY CHANGED THE OP!! okay i will give points to v-force for this one, the new visuals look great and they’ve got me hyped!! excited to see some familiar and new faces

(flashback from the last ep) “if you think you can win by the powers of your beyblade alone, you’re sadly mistaken.”

then what else, pray tell, is tyson supposed to win with? is he trying to get tyson to call out dragoon? or is he in the market for a bare-knuckle brawl in the middle of the dish?? hope it’s not the latter. this kid’s arms make me uncomfortable. waaay to muscular for someone who’s probably like 15-16. then again, weirder things have happened in beyblade, so...

anyway, back to this episode stuff. tyson wants a rematch, which is understandable, but im still hung up on the “how did he know my moves?!” thing which. c’mon man you’re the world champion! everyone and their grandma’s seen you battle, so why wouldn’t the guy know your moves?

although i guess that’s to make this mr x guy seem more intimidating. burnsopale talked about escalation when she was doing her 2000 liveblog, so my bet is this is v-force’s way of escalating when your mc is technically already at the top of his game. why not introduce some unknown competitor? what other choice did they have, really

also this isn’t me knocking v-force’s writing — i can’t really do that since this is only the second episode. consider this some thinking out loud, if anything.

MAX!!!!!!!!!!! god i’ve missed this kid. hope he’s doing alright.

i will say, for all the smack i’ve talked about the art style in this season, i think it works best on max out of the character’s we’ve seen so far. the big eyes and bright colors already fit him very well.

she’s dressed kinda like mr x so maybe they’re going to be introducing a new team?? i do like her design thus far even though i’ve only seen part of her head and a bigass hood. the hair and eye colors really work well together.

THEY’RE SO TINY???? god if only the bg artists had moved that window up just a little higher. i’m not complaining, i think this is adorable, but again! very jarring in comparison to season 1.

there are only so many times i can say i don’t like the 3d beyblades, so here i am using up one of my times. it’s not doing it for me. i miss the dramatic launches from season 1, man. feel like pure shit just want them back

dj khalid vc another one.

so we are getting a team, then. they don’t look like they’ve used bitbeasts (at least not yet?? maybe chief’s corrupted data has something to do with it), but it’s certainly an interesting way to introduce them.

and don’t get me wrong, im thrilled to see ray again too (love him, hope he’s doing well) but i don’t want this post to end up being a mile long. also if this means we get to see the white tigers again, i’m all for it.

the glasses falling down in shock is a good gag. i never really realized it, but we don’t get to see kenny emote like that very often.

so kenny narrowly avoids being the victim of a hit and run, but would you look at that! it’s the two guys from the last episode. does this mean they’re actually working with mr x? or do they have their own vested interest in him?? still a little too early to tell for sure, but im leaning towards the former.

max describes the girl’s beyblade as “having a mind of its own.” usually i’d say bitbeast, but it doesn’t look like she called anything out?? has her beyblade evolved to be capable of individual thought? has it gained sentience? jury’s still out on that one, at least for the time being.

see this is why you don’t give 8th graders bargaining power. also, i’m still not sure on why they added hillary except to give tyson a “rival” of sorts. that’s probably not the best word for it, but it’s the only one i can think of.

for the record, i don’t hate hillary. it’s too early in the season for me to actually say anything, i just hope she gets a little more bearable later on.

KENNY’S GOT PARENTS???? SINCE WHEN?? where were they when he was hauling ass around the world? also animation genetics have struck again, it seems.

also don’t talk to your mom like that kenny. jfc.

AN INVISIBLE BITBEAST?? YOU CAN DO THAT?? the only thing close we’ve gotten to that is bryan’s falborg from s1, and even then, you could still see falborg, you just couldn’t see the air it was using. is this even legal?? granted we’re not in a tournament setting right now, but i’m sure we will be eventually bc this is beyblade, after all. holy fuck.

so that’s episode 2! i will say, i was not expecting things to go this way. who is this mysterious team?? who were those guys in the van and what do they want? where’s kai?? i’ve got a lot of questions and unfortunately no more chicken fried rice. tragic.

sorry if this ended up being a little on the longer side! hope it was entertaining nonetheless.

#beyblade #v-force #snick's v-force liveblog #tyson granger #takao kinomiya #hillary tachibana #max mizuhara #ray kon #bladebreakers

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wri0thesley · 4 years ago

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

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