#its hard to feel in control of your life when you are physically dependent on another person for basic shit

[imnotevenusin]

Random

- Cancer Placements are great musicians. Being ruled by the Moon—a planet the rules our fluctuating emotions, these naitves are susceptible to constant mood swings, which gives inspiration for art - mainly music.

^I also think this is why the Moon is one of the planets the rules music.

- Venus in Virgo (or any Virgo Degrees: 6° & 18°) are also great artists in whatever medium they take up. Venus being our aesthetics, social gracing, and values is paired with analytical Virgo; this can make the Native study and practice everything that comes to Art and master it.

- Aquarians can fall into conspiracy theories for a while. Being the sign that is supposed to break barriers and progress society as a whole, they are prone to questioning everything before them. This can make them pseudo-intellectuals too - still one of my favorite signs tho.

- Moon in hard aspect to Pluto or Uranus can make dangerous individuals. The Moon is a vulnerable placement, ruling the emotional state. Pluto is intense and uncomfortable, and Uranus is unstable. These Natives can make harsh and life-altering decisions based off of their emotional state. A bunch of serial killers and terrorists have this aspect too: Timothy McVeigh, Ted Bundy, The Columbine Shooters & Richard Ramirez.

- Mercury conjunct Mars natives will always sound mean and loud to everyone, regardless of what sign its in. Mercury is the way you communicate, while Mars is how you defend yourself and take action. This can naturally give you a loud and demanding-tone when speaking.

- March Pisces are usually seen as more bold and angrier since Mercury can fall into the sign of Aries when the Sun is moving through the later degrees of Pisces.

^Pluto in Sagittarius also squares the sign of Pisces—usually in the later degrees, which can make these natives come off as dominating and somewhat controlling.

- I’ve seen Taurus Moons being the most liked. Their emotional state is usually—depending on the aspects—calm and stable, which gives them a welcoming demeanor.

- Taurus Mars usually takes a long time to move on in romance. Once these natives are settled and comfortable with a person, its hard to convince them to snap out of it when they need to.

- the 12th House is a fame house. The 12th House can point out where we feel isolated from everything physical. The most famous people are able to live in their own worlds, separated from everyone.

^12H natives can also connect to the collective unconscious.

- Taurus Mercuries are the most stubborn people of all time. Taurus is comfortable and stable, while Mercury is analytical and interactive. This placement can cause somebody to be close-minded and (somewhat) argumentative. Whatever solution or opinion they think is right, will remain right, because they are so comfortable with it.

- The Sun either conjuncts Mercury or Venus, due to the fact most people’s Egos are designed to be aesthetically pleasing - to themselves or to others. You also have to use your ego through communication.

[gor3-hound]

i apologise if you feel something

ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader

cw: 18+ content, dead dove, domestic abuse, possessive leon, toxic behaviour, heavy non-con, choking, p in v, improper prep, blood as lube, creampie, physical assault, crying, BRIEF murder threat, guilt, very brief praise n degradation mixed in

a/n: hiii! this is written w re2 leon in mind!! pls be aware there are quite graphic depictions of co-dependency n abuse in this one. it's late, so pls ignore typos !! title from bmth song of the same name

word count: 1.8k words

Leon wasn't the same man you knew before Raccoon City. When he first came home after his first day, he was clingy. He wouldn't leave you alone, following you around like a lost puppy. You didn't know the extent of what he went through at the beginning, but he slowly began to open up about the horrors he saw.

You were there for him. Of course you were. You let him stay at your place now his new apartment was left in ruins after the bomb hit. Not that he could stay in that godforsaken city, anyway. He still dreamt of the infected most nights, waking up in a cold sweat.

You could have handled that, if it was all it was. You wanted to be there for him, help him recover as best he could. You loved him, and you wanted him to be okay more than anything.

But he started changing. You couldn't so much as try and leave for the store without him crowding you against the wall, demanding to know exactly what you needed. If you were out and didn't answer his texts, he'd make sure to let you know you fucked up.

He wasn't above hitting you, gripping your throat until you almost passed out. Anything to keep you under his thumb, to make sure you wouldn't leave him. He'd seen too much death so early in his life.

He wasn't going to lose you, too.

You couldn't take it anymore. He controlled every aspect of your life. It was getting to the point that you'd flinch anytime he moved too fast. You hated being scared in your own apartment.

You tried bringing it up gently, tell him it just wasn't working out for you. After all, he'd be leaving for military training soon, and you needed to finish up your college studies and think about building a career.

You regretted it as soon as the words came out of your mouth.

“You think you get to leave me?” He says with a dry, humourless laugh. He stalks towards you like a lion cornering its prey, backing you up against the wall. He cages you in with his larger frame, looking down at you with a dark glint in his eyes.

“That's cute, baby. Really. You think you get a fucking choice?” The words are punctuated with a harsh grip on your throat, squeezing you so hard that your airflow is instantly cut off. You can feel the blood rushing to your face as you try and suck in a breath, your hands clawing at his wrists to try and get them off.

Your nails draw blood, and that just pisses him off even more. He yanks you towards him slightly by your neck before slamming you back against the wall, your head hitting it with a loud thud.

Pain shoots across your system, your vision blurry with the unshed tears forming. He lets go of your throat after another minute, watching with a sadistic glee as you crumple to the floor at his feet. He squats down, watching as you choke in air to fill your burning lungs.

“You're the only good thing left in my life, baby. You don't get to leave me.”

“You're crazy…” You gasp out, pushing on the floor to attempt to stand up again. He was dangerous. You needed to get out before he killed you.

His eye twitches at your words, and a foot goes flying for your stomach before you can even register it. You fall to the floor once more, sobbing as you curl in on yourself in a pathetic attempt to protect your body from more hits.

“I'm crazy?” He says quietly, an eerie sense of calm in his voice. He stands over you, placing his foot on your wrist before grinding the sole of his boot into your wrist, making you cry out in pain.

“I'm crazy?” He repeats louder this time, almost yelling at you. He yanks you up by your hair, dragging you into the bedroom and throwing you onto the bed. “You're the crazy one! You think this is bad, sweetheart? I can make you disappear.”

"You want to leave me, huh?" His breathing is hard and fast. "I'm crazy, huh?" The veins in his neck are bulging out, his hands fiddling with the buckle of his belt.

"I'll show you crazy."

Your entire body is shaking, but you have to get out. You have to get to your phone. You look at the door, and that was your worst mistake. In a flash, he's slapping you across the face hard enough that your ears ring, blood filling your mouth.

“Cute. Real fucking cute.” He hisses, grabbing your jaw roughly so you're facing him. He seems to get even angrier when he sees how terrified you look.

“Aww… baby. You're scared?” He coos, a mocking pout making its way to his lips. “You should be grateful. I'm keeping you safe. You have no right to be scared. If you knew what I've seen, what I've been through-”

He pauses to suck in a shaky breath through his teeth, images of the horrors he'd endured during Raccoon City flashing through his mind and making him feel nauseous.

“You should consider yourself lucky.” He says in a low tone, his expression hardening as he looks down at you. “You haven't been exposed to anything worth being scared of, princess.”

“Don't worry, though. I understand. I'll just have to fuck some sense back into you, hmm? Remind you of who's been by your side since day fucking one, keeping you safe.”

Your eyes widen at his words, and it seems to renew your fight. You struggle against him all over again, crying as you push and kick at his torso, thrashing as he pins you down on the bed. “Leon… Leon, no, wait… babe, fuck I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, m'so sorry, just…”

He shoves three fingers into your mouth, the tips jarring your throat and making you sputter and choke. There's a steady stream of tears running down your face at his point, your breaths heavy through your nose.

“Do you ever shut up?” He grunts, tugging down your pyjama pants and underwear, frowning when he sees you're not wet for him. That's new. Oh well. Wasn't gonna stop him.

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, coated with a mix of your blood and spit. He uses that to ease his way into you, pushing two fingers in straight away and spreading them inside of you to stretch you out for him.

“Leon, stop… that hurts.” You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut and kicking your legs out weakly. He's not doing this for you. Doesn't try to hit your sweet spot or rub your clit to ease the discomfort like he usually does.

“One more word from you, and I swear to god, I'm going to break your pretty fucking neck.” He grunts, yanking his fingers out of your pussy to free his cock from his jeans.

You're nowhere near prepared enough to take him. You cry out in pain as he bottoms out in one thrust. He doesn't give you a second to adjust, nothing. He just starts thrusting, chasing his own high as he fucks into you.

Either you're getting wet, or you're bleeding. Whichever one it is, slick lines your pussy and makes his thrusts easier. He groans as he continues to rock his fat cock into your cunt, his head thrown back in pleasure.

His hands grip your thighs as you try and close them, holding them wide apart so he has full access to fuck you as much as he wants. You give up, going limp as he takes what he wants from you.

“There we go… shit, you feel so fucking good. Even when you say no, she sucks me right in.” He moans, his hips rabbiting even faster against you, the sounds of slapping skin filling the room.

“Such a… god.” He sucks in a breath through his teeth, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. “Perfect little slut for me… pussy always squeezes me so good…”

His eyes flutter open, and he tilts his head down to take you in. He finally looks at your face and sees how much you're sobbing, the pure terror in your face. His brows furrow, and he frowns. He looks down further, trailing your body and noticing the bruise forming on your stomach. When his gaze reaches his cock and he sees the blood coating it, a look of panic flashes across his face for a second.

He seems to realise what he's doing, his expression switching to one of worry in an instant. His hips stutter, but don't stop. He pulls out just enough to spit on his dick, trying to make it hurt less for you. He starts to sob, his hands cupping your cheeks and caressing them softly.

"Fuck, baby. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." He says quietly, voice cracking halfway through the sentence. He feels sick when he sees your blood coating his length and has to swallow down the bile that rises in his throat. Doesn't make him stop, though. What the fuck is wrong with him?

"I didn't mean it. I swear. I just love you so, so much. I have nobody. Can't lose you, too." He breathes out, dropping his head against your shoulder as he ruts shallowly into you. “My pretty baby. Such a good girl. Don't wanna hurt you… hate seein’ you cry.”

You don't know how you end up comforting him, promising him it's okay even as your whole body aches and your insides burn with every thrust. It hurts to see him hurting. You'd rather take a beating than see him this broken. All it takes for him to cum is for you to say you love him, too.

He pulls out carefully, pressing kisses down your neck. You don't move. Don't speak. You couldn't, even if you wanted to. You're limp in his arms as he picks you up, cradling you carefully against his chest.

He runs you a bath, gently placing you into the hot, soapy water. He peppers kisses all over your face as the water washes away the blood and cum, soothing your aching muscles.

He keeps saying he's sorry, his eyes filled with remorse. He promises he won't do it again, but you know he will. As soon as you step a toe out of line, he'll snap again. You know you should leave. You'd be dead if he kept this up. But seeing that pain on his face, the way he trembles as he washes your hair tenderly…

You'd stay one more day. Just one more day…

[sol-consort]

im obsessed with the line from allers about creepy turian fan mail. love letters that are so sentimental and tender they cross over into frightening. being way too intimate in writing to someone who barely knows them, if at all. it's so fun🌹

A well-structured society built on self-control, service of others, and utter devotion to the cause makes the best soldiers in the galaxy. The most efficient and organised military.

but...as an unforseen consequence, turians have absolutely zero chill.

"As uptight as a turian" is a common galactic phrase for a reason. It's hard for them to come off as casual. More often than not, it results in awkward encounters in their sincere-but-misinformed attempts at befriending the other species.

Their social awareness covers all the appropriate terminology to address your superior, a fellow man in arms, innocent civilians, an unruly enemy, they even have a whole script on addressing a once fellow soldier turned enemy.

But not friends.

It doesn't extend to coming up with good pick-up lines for the hot human at the bar, either.

All those feelings they keep repressed in order to be the ideal turian model have got to come out somewhere somehow.

The lines between "charmingly invested" and "intrusively creepy" tend to blend when it comes to a turian. They end up shooting themselves in the foot by either coming off too strong and intense or too cold and detached, depending on their self-restraint for the day.

Much like we need sunlight and physical touch or our mood inexplicably sours. Turians need to blow off steam every so often in order to remain the epitome of discipline, or they will grow agitated and feral.

And if a cute human celebrity catches their eye, oh, you've earned a loyal turian fan for life. The creepiest war-nerds fans you'll ever have, but immensely devoted.

Making the most hardcore fans you'll ever meet. Their admiration tethering on the edge of obsessing. Their fanmail is shamelessly intrusive and overwhelmingly intimate.

Pouring all of their intensity into this one person that they decided to worship for life. There is determination in their step, head fringes more puffed, talons shinier, shots more precise than ever. A noticeable improvement in their health and performance ever since they started writing you weekly letters.

Greatly detailing the events of their last dream where a batarian group kidnapped you and their team was tasked by the government to rescue the human celebrity, instead of the human military because "turians just do it better"—how you ended up clinging to their arms as they carried you to safety, calling them your hero, looking in awe at their sharp talons, asking if you can touch them. The sensual kiss that followed, your cute pink human tongue, oh so short, their longer blueish one easily covering it whole.

—only for their eyes to snap open, looking up at the ceiling, laying on their bed, alone.

The sound of their purring filling the room whole, they've never heard it that loud before, the vibration in their throat is overwhelmingly intense.

The taste of your lips at the tip of their tongue, their soft sensation ghosting over their hard shell.

As for the reminder of the letter, they mention all their favourite moments in your last interview. They made one of your shots during it their omni-tool background! They're absolutely in love with your new wardrobe. Human fashion is so eyecatching and tantalising, especially the colour you wore in the interview. Did you know its the same colour as their clan tattoo? What a small world, or maybe it's fate? You'd look amazing in anything, actually. Even nude, especially that. Sometimes, you wear really tight shorts and flimsy tops, and they picture a vivid image of the silhouette of your soft body underneath. By the spirits, how are humans so plump?

[fiber-optic-alligator]

I SEE THAT CROSSED OUT “AS A SNACK” IN YOUR LAST ASK 👀

Let’s say… hypothetically… Zuko would end up tasting the tiny he takes care of 👀 how would that happen?

MWSHRJENDJRNRJF LISTEN LISTEN ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

Okay yeah it is.

REMINDER TO ANYONE READING THIS THAT THIS IS STRICTLY SFW. DO NOT MAKE THIS WEIRD (not you Relic I promise lmao this is not aimed at you at all).

Once again, it would really depend on which season Zuko you’re dealing with. Because if you’re thinking of a more malicious fearplay perspective, season 1 Zuko would be the guy for that. I’d like to think the Fire Nation would consider tinies an exotic delicacy because why the fuck not, everything goes to shit when Ozai is in charge. But I’m not a fan of hard vore or digestion, so I’d consider this to be a situation where tinies are treated kinda like gum or legal drugs (sort of like your Tasty Au!). They’re delicious, they’re satisfying, and oh boy do they provide benders with a massive power up. Pretty soon tinies become staples of unlocking firebending capabilities: just gobble one up, tuck it away for a few hours, soak in that strength, and then spit it up for next time.

Maybe in regards to season 1, Zuko is gifted a tiny as a good luck charm by someone for his trip to hunt down the Avatar. Due to the fact that eating tinies is so normalized in the Fire Nation, he’d have no qualms with tasting you, and he’d definitely get addicted pretty quickly. It would be a power trip for him; he’s just been banished from his home, his father has mentally and physically scarred him, he feels completely lost, and besides Uncle Iroh, he has no one to turn to, and he won’t allow himself to turn to anyone. He’d take that anger and frustration out on you. He’d never hurt you-his honor won’t allow it-but he’ll scare you by holding you over his jaws, snapping his teeth at your kicking feet, playing games of cat and mouse by letting you run off only for him to slam his hand over you at the last moment and then toss you into his maw, etc, etc. I don’t see season 1 Zuko being a big licker or one who’d keep you in his mouth for long. He’s impatient and doesn’t have time for it. But he’ll make you fear him and he likes that because it gives him some sort of control in his out-of-control life.

Season 3 Zuko would be more for accidental fearplay and fluff. Protection vore would be up his alley and even then he’d never keep you within him for very long (unless you really beg him to. If you genuinely enjoy being in there, then he will reluctantly give in and admit he likes you being in there too). Much more gentle and focused on how you feel than season 1. More licking and time in his mouth too because being gentle with you gives him more of an opportunity to taste you to the full extent, and he just really likes holding you in his mouth because he likes how protected you are. There’s also huge potential for miscommunication and the classic “I need to protect you so I’m going to eat you but you won’t know it’s safe and I can’t tell you it’s safe right now so please don’t be scared of me I will comfort you when we are both safe” scenario,” which I love hehehehehee.

As you can see I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I don’t know whether I should be proud or ashamed. Thank you for indulging :D

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi mbti-notes, I am a INFJ in their late twenties. My purpose for this inquiry is to better understand, on a mbti-function level, why I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed and burnt out.

For additional context: I am currently in a graduate program that I detest—to the point where I’ve had to keep myself from crying at my desk in public. Usually, when I’m dealing with something arduous I can engage in some sort of Ni-led vision of what I want in the future to encourage myself to keep going. But lately I’ve just been so tired of trying to ‘inspire’ myself to keep moving.

On top of this, I feel like I can’t express my disdain for my work life to friends because they either work in the same field (and they enjoy it) or they are going through other issues of their own. In general, I find that people are (reasonably) concerned with their own sources of stress, and I don’t want to bother them about it again unless its serious.

Additionally, I have found it hard to meaningfully engage with such people about their own life. Instead of being attentive and curious about others’ lives, I now feel like I’m always thinking of my own problems. Is this because I am over-exerting myself (Fe) and not reflecting enough (Ni)? If it is a lack of Ni, then why do I feel so tired of trying to work with Ni (please see ’inspiring myself’ sentence earlier in my post)? Thank you so much for reading and considering my long entry—I really appreciate it.

----------------------

There are several factors that can contribute to burnout, so the solution will depend on which factors are most influential in your case. You'll have to reflect on it yourself and tailor the right solution. Possible factors include:

1) You are in poor physical health. Your body can only operate at peak efficiency if you eat well, sleep well, get enough exercise, and moderate stress. If you lack energy due to poor physical health, then you need to develop better physical habits.

2) You are expending more energy than you are generating. Ns often need to be reminded that physical and mental energy are finite resources. There is a limit to how much your mind and body can do every day. Everyone needs rest, relaxation, and recuperation time. This is especially the case for introverts. If your workload is too heavy, find a way to reduce it and/or schedule better. Proper work-life balance is necessary for making sure that you take enough time for yourself to recharge.

3) You are taking on too much. Are your work roles and responsibilities clearly articulated? Are you taking on tasks that don't belong to you or should be done by someone else? It's not uncommon for Js to be controlling and Ns to fear missing out, which means they end up doing more work than they should. If this is the case, you need to learn to manage your workload better by prioritizing, deferring, or delegating tasks more appropriately.

4) You are in a disadvantaged position and don't experience all the advantages of your peers. This can happen for a variety of reasons. For example, you might be experiencing overt or covert exclusion because of being a minority and not fitting in (due to class, race, gender, etc). Another example is that you have lower professional status than others, which you might be able to change through hard work and getting promoted to a higher position. Another example is that you haven't done enough to build professional relationships and aren't reaping those social rewards.

5) Your workplace is toxic. A workplace is experienced as unhealthy when you have unsupportive authority figures to contend with, overly competitive or undermining peers to watch out for, and/or unfair practices that don't reward people based on merit. When the social environment is toxic, you can try to improve the situation, or you can leave if you don't have the power to change anything. When leaving is not an option, try to limit engagement and increase positive engagement elsewhere in your life. The more time you spend in a toxic social environment, the more energy it will drain from you until you have no motivation at all.

6) You lack a healthy support system. You seem to downplay or ignore your own needs, which is a common INFJ issue. Yes, you should be professional when dealing with peers/colleagues in a workplace, so it's understandable that you don't want to be constantly discussing your personal issues with them. However, this raises the important question of why you don't have family or friends outside of school/work to lean on and get support from. It sounds like you're not doing enough to build a community for yourself, which leads to isolation and alienation, and eventually, depression that saps away your energy. Neglecting emotional and social needs means you're not taking care of your mental health and well-being. When you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to attend to others.

7) You lack control and/or confidence. When people don't feel in control or don't feel confident enough to tackle their challenges, they're more likely to waste energy in feeling anxious, preoccupied, distracted, fixated on trivial matters, etc. If this is the case, you may need to be more assertive in: expressing your needs/wants and fulfilling them; organizing your environment to better suit you; clarifying your goals/aspirations; seeking help for improving knowledge and skills that would help you feel more self-confident.

8) You focus too much on the negative and discount the positives. Why is it that two people can work in the same environment but experience it completely differently? Part of it is due to perception. You don't like the work you're doing, so you are full of negative feelings and emotions that then cast everything in a negative light. If this is the case, you need to make more of an effort to recover the positive aspects of the situation. Looking on the bright side involves seeking out and realizing positive possibilities/potential, which should be easy enough with healthy Ni. Positives exist in the present, and you can create them in the decisions you make today. If you're always waiting for happiness to appear in a distant future, chances are, it's not real.

9) Your work doesn't seem to matter or get rewarded. Does this career align with your identity and values? It's hard to feel motivated when you don't believe in your work or others don't recognize your work. Does your work matter? Are there ways your work matters that you're not seeing and appreciating? If others aren't appreciating your work, have you done enough to show it off and keep people informed of your activities?

10) You are on the wrong life path. If you truly believe your work doesn't matter or isn't the right fit for you, why are you still doing it? Why aren't you listening to your own heart? This would constitute going against Ni, which is self-sabotaging. It sounds like you're using Ni-Ti to rationalize. Lying to yourself is only going to make you more and more miserable every time reality slaps you and debunks the lie. While it's true that it's not always easy to change paths, is it really harder than staying on the wrong path forever? I'm not telling you what to do but simply raising the possibility that you haven't done a proper reckoning of the path you've chosen and compared it objectively to the alternative paths that might be better suited to you. Remember that it's not foolish to make a mistake because mistakes are necessary for learning and growth. What's foolish is to deny a mistake and keep suffering from it for the rest of your life.

[lilith-devi-nyx-elsword-theorist]

Alright time to say it, and I'm pretty sure everyone's figured it out.

But let me explain a few things here and a Theory + possible spoilers if its true.

Kieran definitely wasn't as much of a skilled trainer then as to now, he's mostly shy and behind his older sister, he looks up to her and he's surprised to see the protagonist beat his sister in battle which has him admire us.

During the story Kieran eavesdropped the True story about what really happened about Ogerpon and the Loyal Three, he's distant and cold towards the player and Carmine. I understand his resentment and frustration. But Kieran's actions are fueled by his obsession, and desire to be stronger just like Ogerpon. His obsession about Ogerpon was ruined because Ogerpon chose us, his dream with Ogerpon was destroyed, everything he had was ruined. Thus he wanted one thing, the desire to become stronger so we could battle him listen to his themes, ones more gentle soft, and less complicated, we see him as he's definitely skilled but not in the way we'd see him. The final battle with him is a more complicated hard, it's us being confused and not seeing how he's turning, we're a way out for him, he's stuck he wants out. (More to this in my theory section.)

I enjoy his entire character, and here's the thing people don't realize that Kieran hates us and Carmine, but realize he doesn't specifically hate any one, he'd definitely resent his own family about the whole truth being kept from him, and we feel it, not shown but the music shows his complicated life.

And here's where people are mixed

Most hate Carmine because she's "controlling, mean, etc." well, some older siblings can act like her irl, I mean that literally. What Carmine shows is that she'd be verbal, but not physically abusive to her brother. How he made friends is most likely her being a threat to any new friend he'd make I mean this as a "possibility" and when she comes to tell us about how Kieran has no skill in Ogre Oustin, we could also assume that he wasn't as a skilled trainer so Blueberry Academy would definitely see her as a " Champion" for her serious capabilities of a trainer. I personally enjoy her as throughout the Kitakami story SHE'S the one helping us fight the Loyal Three, SHE took responsibility of Kieran's actions (though indirectly caused as we don't really know what made the Loyal Three come back but I will get to that as a theory section hold your horses.)

The Indigo Disk Story THEORY!!!

Carmine is definitely treated as a "Champion" we know who we'd fight as a final battle which is Kieran, but the characters wont know except for Carmine.

the Master of the Loyal Three was obscured it was "shown" as a thing in Peachy's shop. I have a crazy idea, which I wrote out on a piece of paper at work and lost it but I do remember most of what I wrote.

Kieran's emotions are unstable, his mentality is unstable and being fueled by getting stronger. The Master, is granting his "Wish" to his pure desire of being a Strong trainer, this is the Purple Aura around his right hand in a scene, and possibly seen faintly on a poster. Whether this Master is controlling Kieran or it's fueling his desire to defeat the player.

When we're going to face the champion of Blueberry Academy, we won't see Carmine, we'll see Kieran he's determined, he's ready, he throws his pokemon to battle, but the Master comes out last it's the one who made Kieran lose control of himself, he's been reckless then, and it knew what he was capable of, so it chose him as it's trainer temporarily.

Whether this is during or after Terapagos is depending on how it goes.

If we have Ogerpon in our team Kieran might snap more " Ogerpon..... Why? Why didn't you choose me!? ....Whatever, I will battle you." The theme might be a remix of Kieran's theme but a more dramatic overtone, then it will hit with a sad emotional portions we'd battle Kieran as serious as he is, and controlled by the Master. Once the Master is defeated, it will let go of Kieran and release him to us Kieran might still feel some desired wish to battle us, but this time he's in a more controlled environment as opposed to then

while the Loyal Three Master will most definitely flee somewhere for us to capture it since it's already weakened but because it wasn't necessarily in a Pokeball, this mean's it will definitely challenge us again in a weakened state like how we dealt with Necrozma in Ultra Sun Ultra Moon.

What I'm essentially saying is The Master Granted the Desired wishes to Okidogi, Munkidori, and Fezandipiti. This means it fuels on the negativity of those who want their wishes, meaning it saw potential in Kieran and fueled his negativity to make him lose control to use it. I know this sounds very much boosh, but I just wanted to make this theory and it would definitely be buried along the way and want people to see this theory.

[warren-your-friend]

How different dhmis teachers react to you asking them on a date & what they are like as you date them:

I'm bored and hyperfixated and I need words for NaNoWriMo.

cw: some mentions of alcohol (Time Child), obsessive and controlling behavior (Warren), and implied depression (Unemployed Brendon)

Warren the Eagle:

-Warren seems shocked at first, taken aback by your advances when he wasn't even sure you wanted to be his friend. -Hearing this, you feel a bit bad that he hadn't realized you two were friends, but as you say that to him, he starts to panic a little, thinking he's upset you. (And he really REALLY doesn't want you to change your mind) -You pull him into a hug, and it only takes half a millisecond before he is holding you back tight. -"Yes!! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!" He holds you tight and you can't quite back away now, so you just melt into the hug, letting him tell you all about how excited he is. -As a boyfriend, he is obsessive and no small amount of jealous. -If you don't really have anyone else, he will happily take up every waking moment you have. -He has major insomnia and may end up watching you sleep, but only when you already know that he's spending the night. -If you do have people you care about and want to spend time with (whether family or friends) when he isn't there, he'll be too afraid of losing you to outright tell you that you can't do it, but he WILL guilt you and if you do happen to fall in love with him, he will get under your skin. -If you get involved with him, its best to involve him. If the people in your life can stand him long enough to get to know him, your relationship will go a lot smoother. -This guy is also a MASSIVE cuddler and very big on public displays of effection.

Colin the Computer:

-Colin was surprised by the question, but it's sort of hard to tell from the way that he responds. -He considers it and for a moment, you think he's going to say no, but really his mind is seven steps ahead and he is looking up places that would be fun to go to, while also not being too awkward for a first date. -When he finally speaks, it's to tell you that he's found live music festival at a park near you. There's dancing and food and it'll be a ton of fun! -You feel your heart swell with joy, your face getting hot. -If you aren't so sure about how well you dance, he is determined to teach you. To him, as long as you're close, any dancing is going to be perfect. -As a boyfriend, he is a lot of fun but rather energetic. -How close you are will determine how much physical contact there will be between you, so don't expect kisses on the first date, unless you have been friends for a good while. -Once you've dated for a while, he will ALWAYS be wanting to hold hands though. -He is SO much fun, if you're an extravert. -He's an introverted extravert, though. So don't worry too much if you aren't, he'll always want to recharge his own batteries at home too.

The Briefcase (Lucky Mo):

-Mo is all business when it comes to dating. He is dating to find someone to marry. Family means a lot, but he doesn't actually want children. -If you're rude to his brother, he is probably going to reject you immediately. -But if you don't encourage his brother or are unmotivated by the concept of working yourself, he's also probably going to reject you as well, though he will always encourage you to 'try harder', even as a friend. -If you have a job (whether or not you actually love it) and try to stay positive for Brendon, Mo will be a very encouraging lover and will want to go on as many dates as possible, as long as it works out around your schedules. -He's a very loyal boyfriend, dependable and encouraging. -He can be boring if you aren't proactive in finding things to do though, so be ready to make most of the choices for movie nights and where you go out to eat etc.

Unemployed Brendon:

-Brendon isn't sure what to say when you ask him out. -He's not used to people who love him for who he IS, rather than who he could be. -Yes, you will probably have to read his novel and if you didn't know it already, it's very sad with a very bittersweet ending. -You'll actually be surprised by how well written it is though and wonder where on Earth he got his inspiration from. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it though. -As a boyfriend, he is a bit of a nervous wreck, especially in the beginning. He doubts himself a lot, his ability, his life choices and most of all… if he is worthy of love at all. -His relationships with his parents are in tatters and his brother just keeps pushing and pushing him to do better. -His brother believes in him and while you can see the love behind it, you can also see the way that the stress of never being good enough wears down on Brendon… -But he loves you a ton, very fast. He's not as obsessive and jealous as Warren is, but he will always want to be around you. -He doesn't intentionally guilt you, but you know he can't help but feel like you're 'embarrassed' by him, if you don't take him places with you. -If you can encourage him to go to therapy, you'd actually have a healthy, loving relationship with Brendon. -You're paying for the therapy though. -And pretty much everything else.

Electracey:

-When you ask 'Tracey on a date, she had sorta been under the assumption you were either already dating or on a date, at the very least. -So she just continues conversing about whatever she had been thinking about, because of COURSE she wants to go on a date with you, silly! -She'll take you on walks through cities or late night parties in the city when everything is lit up, particularly in the summer. -Lots of life and energy comes with Tracey. -She's sort of a combination of Colin and Mo, in that she has all sorts of energy and loves to do things (she also has a great sense of humor), but she is also much less touchy than Colin and working with the electric company, she has a steady income to do just about anything. -The downside to Tracey is that she ALWAYS has energy. -She is extremely outgoing and she is a definite extrovert. -Don't expect 'downtime' with Tracey. She's up and out of the door early for a jog and likes to party hard on weekends. -She's the sort that will invite friends over for dinner on a work night, but the friends don't even show up until 8:00pm and you have to be up at 6:00am. -She's also not particularly tactile, so while she loves kisses and hugs, she's not really going to be holding your hand everywhere, or wrapping her arms around you while waiting for the bus. -Then again, she thinks you're super cool even on days you don't like yourself and she can SHRED on that guitar, so it all equals out, yeah?

Time-Child:

-It's less that you've asked them on a date and more that you found yourself on a date, unsure of where. -You only realize its a date, when T.C. wraps an arm around your waist pulls you into the VIP section of a very loud, very colorful club, introducing you to the bouncer as their date. -It's a TON of fun, but by the end of the night, you're exhausted and ready to go home and T.C. just sort of drops you off and goes back to the club and you're left kinda wondering what happened and why they thought to bring you at all. -They kinda leave you on read for a few weeks, until they show up on a long weekend, wanting to party again. -This is going to keep going until you make yourself less fun to hang out with. Oh well, looks like you're stuck with them!

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE JIROU HEADCANONS

She'd be the most laid back and most chill yandere you'll ever meet and that, my friends, is actually a BLESSING

Jirou might fall in love with you because of your outstanding personality. Either it might be similar to hers or it might be sweet and innocent and angelic that she finds too cute 

She's a self aware yandere. Soon after she meets and you and gets to know you more, she'll develop some crazy feelings of obsession and possessiveness towards you and she knows that her feelings are spiraling out of control and she's going delusional but she can't help admire how you laugh, talk, smile etc.

She'll write songs for you and she might be shy singing them for you and she'll get even more flustered if you praise her singing. Like, she'll go all red like someone squeezed a bunch of tomatoes in her face 

She will CERTAINLY defend you from perverts like Denki and Mineta. She thinks that they're just annoying pests coming in the way of the love of her life and when her little songbird (aka you) is in danger, what sort of hero is she going to be if she can't protect you from people like them? 

She's gonna stab 'em in all sorts of places with her ear phone jacks till they beg for mercy and promise to not ever glance at your direction EVER AGAIN. They might start avoiding you like the plague 

Soon, its going to be your friends too. She's a manipulative person and she wants to be the ONLY person you'll depend on when it comes to support, be it emotionally or physically. She'll try isolating you from your friends and they'll start avoiding you unless they want to face the wrath of her stabbing them where the sun doesn't shine 

Will occasionally give you little gifts like bracelets and necklaces and chokers and earphones. She thinks you look very cute when you wear stuff that she gives you, however she's not going to force you to change your personality. She just wants you to be yourself and honestly, that's what made her fall in love with you in the FIRST place

If you get any scars from training, she's gonna give you worried glances in the girls's locker room and her worst fears are coming true. Someone HURT YOU! They'll have HELL to pay. Even if you don't bother telling her, she'll find out anyway and go on a killing spree that'll make Toga PROUD 

She knows how RECKELSS you are when it comes to saving people. True she knows all about your personality, that you're capable and strong of defending yourself, but there's going to be one day where going to be very seriously and gravely injured and she won't be able to do anything about it. As much as she admires that part of you, she also wants you to quit aiming to be a pro hero so she can just take care of you and prevent you from getting hurt 

When she kidnaps you, she's gonna restrain you by tying you with ropes to a soft bed (Don't worry, the ropes won't be TOO uncomfortable or tight) She understand how you feel and she knows that you're gonna be scared and angry since she kidnapped you and all but you'll calm down eventually and learn to adjust to your new home or she'll MAKE you 

When it comes to punishments, as much as she wants to punish you, she just CAN'T. Even though she'll be stoic and hard at love and all , she just can't bring herself to hurt YOU, the darling, the light and love of her life. She lets you get away with ANYTHING, and yes, I MEAN ANYTHING, except for your freedom 

She might not be the most patient yandere on the block and if your drive her over the edge and finally make her snap, oh boy... you better start praying since no one else is gonna do it for you 

When it comes to aftercare after punishments, she'll treat you like a god/goddess that needs to be worshipped. She'll make you comfy, play some soft music, or make you listen to some smooth relaxing jazz (Lol, I really LOVE relaxing jazz. I prefer saxophone since it's just smooth asf) and give you your favorite food 

She won't get jealous when you talk to other people. However she WILL get jealous if you focus your attention on someone else and ignore her and she'll be a fuming volcano inside, plotting how many ways she can murder and kill that person for taking your attention away for so long 

She will let you go out. She knows how lonely you might get and so after she gets you a puppy/kitten or favorite animal of your choice, she will let you go out. Just to the backyard of course, since she's STILL wary and sus of you and you need to earn her trust if you ACTUALLY want to step out of the house. Just behave like a good girl/boy and she'll trust you in NO TIME, but if you break her trust, she'll be angry and devastated. Why did you try escaping? She's giving you everything you've wanted! You didn't even have to work for it and she's doing ALL this for YOU! It'll be very hard and time consuming to gain back her trust since she'll be suspicious for a LOOOOONG time 

If you're good, there is a possibility that she MIGHT (NOTICE!!!: I said MIGHT) consider taking you out to a park or something, not before she makes you promise that you'll stick by her side like fondue glue no matter WHAT. She doesn't want people taking you away from her and she's worried that she might lose you 

Overall, on a scale of 1-10, I'd rate her a 1 since she ain't so bad. Life actually might be interesting with her, I mean... cool playlists and punk styled things and cool goth like clothes.... It might actually be fun :) Lol, just jokin'

''My little songbird, don't be so sad... I'm doing this all for you. Even though you don't want to see my face right now, just know that I'll always love you and you will too. Even if I have to FORCE you~"

[officialprimadonna]

just a quick rundown of my miraculous rewrite just in case you guys are curious

note: this still might change in the future (like the names) and some things are missing because is i still can’t think of anything. their abilities—the ones considered as overpowered—only last a minute or less, depends on how strong the holder is.

ladybug 🐞: creation and restoration (the same in the canon show)

LUCKY CHARM (creating an object to help you have an idea how to win)

PURIFICATION (to purify the akumas and turn them back to what they were once)

CURE (restoration of the major damages done by miraculous related stuff but draws the line with life and death)

earings & black and red yo-yo

cat 🐈‍⬛ : destruction and ???

CATACLYSM (the ability to destroy or decay anything they touch)

NIGHT VISION

BLACK WELL (will pull anyone near it before it explodes and temporarily blinding the victim like astra from valorant)

ring & silver baton

bee 🐝 : subjection and courage

VENOM (to summon bees using the rapier and able to control them to do whatsoever and to immobilised opponents)

POLLINATION (to manipulate flowers and vines)

hair comb & golden rapier

fox 🦊 : illusion and devilry

MIRAGE (to create illusions and even make the holder shapeshift to look somebody else / change physical appearance of the holder)

HYPNOSIS (using the flute, to distract the oponents and place them in some kind of trance)

anklet & orange flute

turtle 🐢 : protection and tranquility

SHELTER (to create a shield / force-field type of protection)

HIDE (to turn invisible temporarily: not too long and not too short, long enough to cause a distraction)

bracelet & ???

butterfly 🦋 : transformation and empathy

EMPOWER (able to create champions through butterflies)

??? (to feel clear emotions of the target, to know what they desire the most through that, and to transfer yours to them - like reyna ramirez’s powers to transfer strength and lucifer’s ability to know your greatest desires)

necklace & staff / cane

peafowl 🦚 : intuition and ???

VISION (to see quick flashes into the future using the fan/foresight)

TEMPORAL (freezes time for a short amount of time/depends on the wielder's strength/)

glasses & fan

okay so, i’m thinking that the seven miraculous can form a team for a battle (??? it’s so hard to explain) like the butterfly is the leader, ladybug is the strategist, bee and cat are the soldiers (first line of defence), turtle is shield (second line of defence), while fox and peafowl operates in the background and not on the battlefield.

i don’t know yet what weapon i can give the turtle. can’t give it the shield since it’s already its ability. and i’m thinking on how i could make the peafowl miraculous be used if a villain uses it when all it can do is see a few minutes into the future and freeze time. like how can that affect your enemy if you attack using it?

There are only 7 miraculous now (the number of luck) because I think having THAT many miraculous is so unnecessary. The butterfly is now the miraculous of emotions while the peacock—now called peafowl, as it should be, since peacock are male peafowls—has the power of foresight because of its eyes theme.

okay that’s all 😭🙏

[messinwitheddie]

What is tallest Red’s thoughts on being measured? Was Purple with him at the same time? What are the aftercare routine for such a stretch?

I wonder how they can breath with those really tight corsets. I think their organs are crying out for help.😅

How does one move up a rank from a starting point of being a service drone to becoming an advisor?

Since the control brains have new vessel bodies and taken full responsibility of the empire. Where does that leave the tallest? Will there no longer be more of them after Purple’s reign is over?

After Spork was eaten and the whole empire went into lock down, Red was a little surprised that he and Purple were summoned to Jugmentia for a second measuring that time around. Excitement quickly set in. They were locked into their personal quateres (A tiny apartment) on the Viral at the time, as the Massive was not officially launched and inhabitanted yet. There were forty or fifty other drones close to their height, but apparently not close enough.

On Jugmentia all finalist are measured separately. Red was THRILLED when he was informed he measured up to tallest stature. He was ignorant of any real challenges and responsibilities that comes along with being a tallest. He was just excited for the power, luxuries, fame and snacks. He and Purple made a pact to promote the other to a high rank and keep in touch, whichever of them was measured tallest.

He was very upset to find out he would have to fight Purple to the death for the title. The red brain initially refused Red's request to rule as one unit as his plea seemed to be based on pure emotional attachment, but luckily, Purple managed to present a "logical" argument, which was Red and Purple both lacked life experience and in the categories where Red's personal stats were subpar, Purple excelled and vice-versa. Therefore they could rule the empire better as a duo. The control brains reluctantly accepted the argument.

The recovery period and aftercare for the surgical limb/ spinal stretching/ lengthening process is shorter than any drone would care for. Their PAKs pump enough pain killers into their flesh vessels to make it bearable enough for them to live through the lengthening process and the first binding/ adorning of imperial robes. Recovery also involves a lot of deep tissue massages and stretching exercises.

Besides that, being tallest is a pretty sweet deal. Especially if you're a drone that likes power, lounging and attention.

It takes a few months of binding/ wardrobe changing sessions and conditioning before Red and Purple could move normally or feel natural in their formal robes. They looked damn good and tall on their public debut though.

It IS hard for a tallest to breathe in their robes. (head canon) Their spooches are compressed. But again, they always look sharp in public even if prolonged periods of wearing corsets/ hovor belts can cause all kinds of injuries and physical complications. Luckily for Irkens, they can intake small amounts of air through their eyes to compensate.

To become the tallest's personal advisor, you would just have to apply for the job online by sending the red brain your personal stats when he updates the public occupational listings. They're constantly updating, depending on the position, so you just have to keep checking. Many drones don't know this, but even if there are no available positions for a job you would like, you can still submit your stats/ request to be put on a waiting list for first review.

To become an imperial advisor requires jumping through the same hoops you would to earn any occupational promotion. If you have already been encoded as an "unskilled" service drone, your name may be shoved to the bottom of the potential hire list. BUT, it never hurts to apply. The empire has its flaws but at least it's pretty easy to find a job and the option to transfer out for a better one is there, provided you have no criminal record and you apply in time. Unemployment is almost nonexistent there.

If the red brain considers you a possible fit for the job you will be required to take a series of holo-visor tests at your nearest red control brain hub. There may be a number of hours of required VR training too. Sometimes the tallest won't bother, but for a position on the tallest's personal staff*, you may have to attend an in-person, face to face interview with the tallest before the red brain officially hires and encodes you. (*advisor, coordinator, imperial medic, imperial pak technician, personal frylord ect, ect...)

Don't be intimidated about applying if you're short. Tallests actually prefer to keep shorter drones on their personal staff. Surrounding themselves with short drones make them look taller by comparison during live streams.

As for the control brain's next major upgrade, it WILL eliminate the position of almighty tallest. Purple is dethroned/ disgraced and forced to go into hiding.

The Control Brains never intend to measure another tallest after him. They will move about freely and have full control over the empire AND all PAK wearing drones.

(unless a drone's PAK has been altered or modified to stay severed from the control brains telepathic stronghold.)

Their ultimate goal is and has been to recreate the Irken race as a pure hive-mind with unwavering obedience and no room for defective behavior. It was just a matter of expanding the control brains' own mental capacities/ capabilities enough to perpetually process SO much incoming data at once. It took time, but to them, worth the wait. ( Not ALL Irkens are on board with this new regime for obvious reasons.)

[lilisouless]

Hello, love <3

First of all, I want you to know that You. Are. Not. Alone.

I've felt like how you feel for most of my teenage years, (I still do sometimes, because life is hard), and I know that it doesn't feel like you have support. That no one understands you and you're left alone in the darkness. You are not, I promise.

I wanted to kill myself, too. I was going through life as an empty shell of a human, trying not to cave under all the pressure of just being alive. I felt like no one would care if I was gone, or that I wasn't important. But that's not true. And it isn't for you, either. You deserve to live.

There's no one like you out there, there's only one of you, and you're perfect like you are.

Su*cide is not the answer. Because you don't deserve that. You deserve a life full of love and joy, and although that may seem impossible as of right now, I promise you that you will have it one day.

I feel like a failure, too. I never finished 9th grade and got kicked out of high-school because I didn't attend due to mental and physical conditions. I'm dependent on my family, I would never be able to get a job without qualifications.

I don't know why you feel like you've failed, but it will get better. And I know that that's hard to believe right now, but it does.

You're not a failure, the path you take is just different from others. Yours has hills and valleys and bumps in the road, and maybe isn't smooth and straight ahead like you want it to be, but you will get through it.

And if you even need one reason to stay, I'll be that reason. I smile everytime I see your blog. I have no fucking idea what's going on with Shadow and Bone, but I enjoy your posts whole-heartedly.

You are loved. I'm telling you all of this from the bottom of my heart, because when I felt like this I would've needed something like this.

I hope you feel better soon. I'll try and check in with you, if you want that.

Just don't take your life. It's too precious. You are too precious.

Life is fucking hard, and it can be miserable. But I'm telling you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

It won't just happen immediately, you need to heal, and that takes time.

But you will heal, I promise.

I strongly believe that you can survive this.

You're stronger than you think. You're still here after all.

You can always reach out to me for whatever reason. You're not fighting this alone.

My words might not mean much, but I just want you to know that there's someone out there who knows what you feel like.

Stay strong, okay? <3

Hello, i know this has been in draft for a long while already , since its been weeks since my breakdown. I didn't awnser because i didn't want to give a half heartfelt short anwser, i needed time for finishing the problem, the job that made me had this deppresive episode. It´s already done so i finally have time to respond, i did saw them back then btw, just wanted to read the whole think without having a second breakdown in reminder of the first one (like, right now i am fine and i am close to tear up)

First all , thanks for taking time for all that. Don't know if it matters but i am not a teen, actually my depression started at 19 more or less, started to live with it on my twenties, i had an hormonal inbalance and was getting controlled but hit back again. Just wanted to clarify because i am realizing maybe i am acting like an inmature teen.

The words do matter, specially since, being strangers on the internet, its the only thing we can do, so i really appreciate it. I am not in danger, the most that happened that one time was that i tried to call a suicide hotline, no one reponded but i made a step and talked my mom about it, talking my problems out loud made me see there weren't that bad. Still, thanks for taking your time to talk to me❤

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

i am working through something and i wanted to express it somewhere but it feels too personal to say publicly.. and your blog feels like a safe place to confess things.. I want to go on hrt but am terrified of my mother's reaction. she knows im trans and is a lot more ok with it than she used to be but she still doesn't understand and is really bothered by her own lack of understanding. and my sense is that when my appearance changes from T shes going to hate it and be extremely upset. I'm an adult and I dont want to be controlled by my mother's feelings but due to my family dynamics growing up I have rotated around her feelings my whole life, its not as bad as it used to be but i still feel her feelings are dangerous and painful to me. I have a great support system, im blessed with so many friends and even my older siblings who I wasn't close with have been very supportive of me being trans. I dont need to be scared, materially I will be safe and loved even if my mother hurts me. but still its so terrifying to me. I want to get over this and not feel so dependent on her approval, but at the same time i dont even know if its possible. who can help wanting their mother to love them? or even more than love, because i know she does love me and thats really why its so hard, i want her to approve of me and be happy for me. I dont want the happiness i know i will feel from going on hrt to be ruined by her hating my life choices. my spiritual life is pushing me to take control of my life and bring my internal self and reality into the material, I know i cant keep ignoring my own physical desires and living with dissonance between the internal and external...so im moving towards that and i know i'll get there regardless its just terrifying and i wanted to talk about it.. uhh ya sorry this is so personal and emotional i hope it isnt uncomfortable for you or anyone else to read because i know these are really painful issues for many people. and i don't expect you to have any advice necessarily i know htese are huge issues to work through... i just wanted to express it and put it into the world that i'm working on this. thank you for letting me use your askbox to talk! hope your day is great

thankyou for trusting me with your confession anon <3 its not at all uncomfortable to me for you to confide your feelings.. Does anyone who's transitioned have supportive advice they cld leave for anon in the replies? i dont want to speak on something i havent personally experienced.

One thing i do relate to immensely is having a mother who doesn't try to see you as a unique individual, and becomes very displeased when u act in ways that don't align with her worldview. my mom will straight up tell me i look ugly with pink hair. my mom knows i make music but she's never asked to hear one of my songs. she doesn;t want to know about anything that interests me or my motivations in life. etc etc. and it's that same feeling of like, well, she does Love me i think, but i'll never feel that she truly approves of me. idk what the answer is..in my own life it has lead to me being quite a distant person, and rebellious in nature, i coped with it by purposefully leaning into the parts of me she disapproved of most. but idk if that's been healthy for me.

ultimately, we will disappoint everyone in our lives at one point or another.. Sometimes even when u try ur best to please someone it still doesn't work out. so please dont be too hard on urself <3 One thing im learning to cope with my ocd spirals (usually body dysmorphia or guilt related) is to "zoom out", try and redirect my thoughts to the bigger picture of life, it makes my own problems feel smaller in a way that doesn;t silence or dismiss them, just re-contextualizes them in that moment and makes it feel less imminent & overwhelming. mayb i can talk more about methods and analogies for this sometime.

Hope u can find some peace anon and i'm sure your hopes and dreams will materialize for u if u just keep going & focusing your energy on ur dreams. Stay safe <333 PMD9

[syn4k]

Hi, i have a question about being a system (feel free to delete this if its invasive or rude im genuinely curious)

Do you all experience the headspace like its a physical place or is it more abstract??

depends on the person! the stronger someone is attuned to the outside world (ray and amys are two good examples of this), the more vague things are up here for them. yknow when you're daydreaming pretty hard or making those scenarios in your head at night? it's like that.

those who were born up here and spent most of their life without fronting once, however, experience it more physically and only get that disconnect when they're actively in front. for them, i've heard piloting (our term for taking control of the body) is more like getting really immersed in a 3d video game than it is actually being the person, like it is for me (ray).

it's different for everyone, but that's how it works for us! thanks for the question :D

[dumbbitchfrommars]

9.10.24

i think i intuitively know we arent going to make it to that music festival.

am i on self built path to destruction?

its in gods hands. remember, its in gods hands. stop trying to control the outcome. its in fucking gods hands!!!!!

lets see what the cards have to say...

its the differences in people that makes humanity great and together we can create smth bigger than anything one individual can accomplish.

i was so afraid of doing tarot thinking it would be harsh and hurt me. im so damn sensitive! its been nothing but kind and gentle... something i have been lacking in my self recently.

3 of swords: pay attention to how you are treating yourself internally. curb the habit..

it breaks my heart to think of him in pain. it scares me how much i love him

6 of swords in reverse: you may feel uninterested in things you once held dear. you have survived this crisis and youre on your way towards well-earned peace. you must stubbornly create you own light and marh towards your brighter future.

im worried about my sister. im sorry i havent been communicating honestly with her. im scared were going to return to bad old habits.

the devil in reverse: bad habits are hard to break, but you are standing on the precipice of something great. an element of detachment cnan help with this. stay true to yourself and loosen your dependence on the parts of you that will only lead you backwards.

i need to tell him about the dream i had. but it needs to be in person. i dont know how to ask, i dont know if im ready to know. its gonna break my heart. is that why he told me about it so soon? has it been hard in the past? or is it something that he hasnt been able to talk about before? why am i analysing this so much?

hes gone to bed now.

why is it so difficult for me to talk to him?

because i have disorganised attachment. pretty severely as well, apparently.

four of wands: as long as you feel secure and loved, there is no wrong way to enjoy this newfound sense of security this hard work has brought you.

i asked my sister what she has to tell me...

two of cups: signifies a very, deep, meaningful connection with another person. there is potential in it to develop into something truly special, something that be a win-win for both of you. in a relationship, this may symbolise a connection that transcends the physical. enjoy the comforts to be found in this new level of mutual respect.

i accidentally manifested too hard. i have everything i asked for! but at a cost. because now im realising, i never actually knew what i wanted to begin with. im not sure if this is what i want anymore. i fell asleep with my hand on hers.

two dead butterflies. what the fuck do you MEAN? what does any of it fucking mean?

judgement: calls on us to rise up and embrace the spiritual awakening at hand. a life-changing decision may be on the horizon. any choice you make will have long lasting consequences. shed your past selves. something grander awaits and its time to grasp this moment of rebirth without fear.

maybe hes my gay awakening? but i also know i love him and am attracted to him. so its not one or the other. its something else. ?

we all want a teenage fantasy. want it but we cant have it... when we got it we dont seem to want it??????

i guess ill have my answer tomorrow.

now im still as confused, but sad as well. i dont want to lose him. but its true, i dont see a future with him. i cant lead him on if thats what he wants from a relationship. what he expects... thats a lot of pressure on me to not fuck things up. to not leave. to not have the freedom to leave. ugh. the dolphin today. what a strange, strange day.

[andrewcoxblog]

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[articulatedbyleilani]

That can't be it though, right?

The more time I spent improving one thing, another improvement was needed. I would get so frustrated that I'd cry because I never knew when it would stop.

Then I realized, it never stops. You're always trying to improve yourself.... you're always trying to fight the demons that lurk in your mind.

I never fought for myself. I never spoke up for myself. I was too dependent on the thought of somebody saving me. I was too dependent on the thought of somebody loving me so much that it would hurt them, to hurt me. I was so afraid of being laughed at or judged. I look back and I can't even describe how disgusted I was with myself for allowing everybody to do what they do to me and allowing everybody to treat me how they treated me. When I would speak up for myself, it sounded like "I just want it to stop... *heavy breathing". Now, I know that I have no choice but to speak up for myself. It doesn't matter what they do with those feelings, that's their decision. I'm only in control of my decisions and how I respond to whatever they choose to do. Something are not worth it.

I never rejected disrespect or neglect. I unintentionally always welcomed it, and always waited until I was mentally exhausted, without the strength to bounce back. I still don't know if this is a bad thing all around - I say this because when I refused to reject it, It showed me exactly how somebody felt about me, it was the only honest thing I've received, unintentionally without lies. Their disrespect was the blunt truth about how they felt about me. It always hurt me too much, to say "fuck you". Now, I know its 100% okay to reject the disrespect despite what role a person plays in my life. I know that the more I allow it, the more it will happen. I need to be strong enough and not intimidated about how I'll make somebody feel if I tell them I'm no longer welcoming the type of disrespect and neglect they unintentionally offer. The respect I have for myself is worth more than the respect anybody has for me or will ever have for me.

I was never honest with myself about who somebody really is too me. I was so delusional. I was so delusion for the wrong reasons. I was delusional without any positive beings made from whatever individual it was. I was delusional when it was straight negative 365 days. I'd go out of my way to make somebody sound better than they actually were for friend and family approval/validation. I cared too much about their approval ad opinions. Now I know that going forward, I shouldn't have to do that because if somebody is good for me, they'll show it on their own. I don't need the approval or validation from anybody.

I allowed my pain and heartache to be the reason I disconnected from my responsibilities. I would waste so much time being the strongest I could be, and by the time whatever negative situation was done, I'd be mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted to the point where I had no desire to do anything. I didn't care what the consequences were. Now I know, my hard work needs to continue through the hard times I go through because the pain and what I want to do is not worth a set back that can take years to get out of.

Realizing all of this was A LOT for me to handle, the difference between now and then is that I was putting these actions into motion unintentionally without reason, and now, I realize if I am doing any of these things, the meaning behind the motion is different, intentional and for a reason.