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rek1s-headband · 4 years ago

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hi could i request something? basically just HCS about langa and reki when you guy get into a fight or sum idk LMFAOO, you dont have to do this if you dont want to tho <3

➯ A/N: Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy. I added a few characters, hope you don’t mind:)

➯ When you guys get into a fight

➯ Characters: Langa Hasegawa, Reki Kyan, Kaoru Sakurashiki, Kojiro Nanjou, Hiromi Higa and Miya Chinen x gn reader

➯ Warnings: angst if you squint, fluff

Langa:

Ok the majority of your fights are generally because of a miscommunication. If things aren’t spelled out for the poor boy, he’ll be completely oblivious to what’s bothering you

When you finally snap, he always seems shocked, asking why you hadn’t said anything sooner, even if you’d been trying to hint at it all week

Not really one to shout, but if things get heated enough he might snap. He always feels awful afterwards though. No matter what, he really believes no one should be screamed at because of something as silly as a disagreement

Rarely storms out, he’s always going to try and stay until the end to try and get something, anything out of you that he can use to try and understand your point of view

Understands space. He knows when you dont feel like talking to him, and he will give you that time to collect your thoughts. When you’re ready to speak again, he’s all ears

Gets overwhelmed really easy. It doesnt really show in what he says, but when you raise your voice his brain goes to putty and he can feel his breath get narrow. He’s not scared, he just doesn’t want to be the reason you’re feeling like this.

Never lets you go to bed angry. He’ll give you your space, but if you’re still quiet by bedtime he’s making sure you’ve eaten and you’re not still really upset by whatever played out that day

Overthinks a lot. How long did he not realise you were upset? What if its actually a much bigger deal than you’re letting on? What if you leave? Of course, he knows a lot of it is completely irrational, but it still lingers in the back of his mind, so you can imagine how relieved he is when the fight is over and you’re back in his arms

Asks people for advice a lot. Reki and Cherry are usual helpers, giving Langa their opinions on the matter without going into too much detail. The rest is up to him.

Gives the best hugs and comfort after a fight. He understands couples can fight, and never really takes the aggression let out by the pair of you too seriously. Rubbing the back of your head and holding you close to his chest, he’ll reassure you that he’s not going anywhere, that he’s not going to leave “just because of a silly fight” while you fight back tears on his shoulder.

Reki

Unlike Langa, Reki is a very open person in terms of his feelings, so your fights are rarely because of closed away emotions. However, many are caused by you feeling he is spending too much time in his workshop, overworking himself and not spending as much time with you as he should.

As for Reki, he gets mad when he feels you’re being closed off from him, not telling him things and hiding your true emotions. It’s not that he doesnt trust you, he just doesnt want you shouldering anything by yourself, and tries to make things easier for you by halving the problem.

A very emotional person, and this really shows when the two of you argue. There’s a lot of tears, a lot of raised voices, yknow those exhausted laughs when you’re tired of arguing with someone? Those. He pulls at his hair a lot in frustration too

Both of you need to walk away from each other a lot during arguments. You’re both driven by your emotions, so its hard to think logically once you’ve both gotten really upset.

The type to sit outside a door after an argument if you’ve locked yourself in a room, pressing against it and quietly talking to you, regardless of whether or not he gets a response

Understands space, to a certain extent. He’ll try and talk to you after an argument, try anything to get you to just answer him, to come out from your room, to stop ignoring him. He knows when you really don’t want to face him though, which is when he’ll go out for a while, either to Langa’s for advice, or just for a quiet skate.

Despite how upset he gets in the moment, he gets over it quickly. Once he’s out of his head and seeing properly, he’ll take some time to think it over and see things from your point of view. He’ll come back to you with an apology, and when you’re ready to talk, he’ll discuss things with you this time around instead of fighting

If the fight lasts overnight, he refuses to let you take the couch. If he feels a fight will last, he’ll glue himself to the couch, making it impossible for you to sleep anywhere other than your bed. No matter what the fight was about, he refuses to have you sleep uncomfortably.

Tends to cry after making up. It’s rarely out of sadness, of course, more relief than anything. He’s just happy to have you back in his arms, no longer ignoring him.

Cherry

A very rational person, fights are very rare between the pair of you. When you do fight, it tends to be because you feel he’s being closed off from you, not being as open and emotional with you. As for him, he doesnt like when you act too aloof about things that are actually serious to him

Fights start out quiet, talking in normal tones and using your heads. However, as the fight goes on, your voices gradually get higher and louder, arms thrown in the air as you get in each other’s faces.

He snaps quite a bit. Petty remarks, snappy replies and other unnecessary comments are thrown out without much thought as he gets more pissed off. Not necessarily because he doesn’t have anything to defend himself, but because once he’s started, he’ll do just about anything to piss you off

Depending on the fight, it could last an hour or a week. Both of you are so petty that you’ll refuse to apologise to the other, forgetting who was even in the wrong in the first place

Honestly, whoever goes to sleep first gets the bed, he’s not as considerate as Reki. However, as the fight goes on, the pair of you will stay up for ungodly hours into the night, trying to outlast the other because they dont want them sleeping on the couch. You’ll never admit that though, which is why you wont just fall asleep on the couch first. Besides, if you happen to fall asleep on the couch before Kaoru goes to bed, he’ll carry you upstairs and sleep on the couch himself. He’ll never admit that though, he’ll simply say you woke up and went upstairs in a hazy half-sleep, which is why you dont remember.

He’s definitely programmed Carla to apologise to you for him at least once, rolling her into the room you’re in before quickly walking out to the sound of “Y/N, I-am-very-sorry-and-I-was-wrong-please-forgive-me” in Carlas robotic voice

If you ever go to Joe’s restaurant to cool down, he’ll make a big fuss, swaying and sighing, dramatically shouting about “however will these lovers reconcile!?” Once his act is over though, he’ll comfort you and give you your favourite meal, tutting over the pair of you and thinking of ways to help you make up

Literally won’t let you go of you for at least a week after you fight. This mf is hanging off you, constant forehead kisses, the whole deal. He’s gone without your affection for a long time while you fought, he’s simply making up for lost time

Joe

You get really pissed at him when he flirts with other girls. He doesn’t mean to, he’s just a bit of a girl magnet and it’s his nature to entertain them. Of course, he all yours, but he forgets sometimes that jealousy is actually a thing

Doesnt take arguments as seriously as he probably should. He’s the type to tell you to “calm down” in the worst possible moment, its usually what makes you explode, actually.

Absolutely dense. The type to listen to you shout for five minutes, and only then have the audacity to ask you just what your problem was

It’s not his fault, bless him. He’s just a little unobservant when it comes to your emotions. When he realises you’re actually upset though, he’s apologising profusely and promising to never do it again

His apologies are always so genuine, you generally forgive him. However, if he does something that really pisses you off and you dont forgive him, he’ll give you space to think

Fights are usually resolved within a day. Like Langa, he refuses to let you go to bed angry

Cooks for you every meal regardless of whether or not you eat it. He’ll leave meals outside your door as a sort of truce, quietly pressing against the door and asking you to please come eat with him, that he hates the idea of you holed up in there all alone

Like Kaoru, he tends to reply with snarky remarks that have little to do with the argument, but they have a little less bite to them. More petty, if anything

Another big reason for why fights never last long is because this man literally. Will. Not. Survive. Without. You. You’ll be trying to ignore him while he comes in every five minutes, asking you how to get a certain channel on the TV, or stupid things you know he’s only asking because he misses talking to you

After you make up, he literally wont even look at another girl for at least a week. Mf will literally turn his head the other way if a girl comes near him, shouting about how he’s spoken for

Shadow

The biggest hothead. He says a lot of things he doesn’t mean in the moment, which will cause you to storm out and he’ll immediately regret it

The fight almost immediately escalates past hushed voices, swear words thrown around as you get in each other’s faces

He’ll get really upset, but he’ll mask it with being pissed off and angry, clashing pots around and acting like a literal baby. He doesnt want to admit it, but he always feels awful right after a fight. He knows youll need a bit of space after the intense shouting, so he’ll give you that space before even attempting an apology

Aggressively cares for you. Like he’ll say things like “I made food, it’ll taste like shit if you leave it, so I suggest you have it now” or “nope, I want the couch, I’m gonna watch something” he’ll never admit it, he just wants to make sure you’re alright even while fighting

If the two of you go to S while fighting, it’ll be very obvious. Usually you’re attached at the hip, but now you couldn’t be further apart. However, he’s still looking out for you, keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re alright. If you’re ever getting hit on by some creep, the fight is forgotten and he’s back at your side, daring the stranger to come any closer to you.

Reki is always the first to notice, poking him and pushing you over to him, trying to get the two of you to make up. Surprisingly, it actually does help clear the air

He can never stay mad at you for long though, he’s completely soft for you

Makes you bouquets to try and apologise. He’s taught you a lot about the meanings of flowers, so he’ll specifically pick ones with hidden meanings like “I’m sorry” or “I love you”

Not very good with verbal apologies. He knows when they’re needed though, and they are usually delivered through a series of grumbles and sad expressions. The thought is there though

Gives very gentle, long hugs after you make up. He’ll hold you close, suggesting a date or a movie to help the two of you relax

Miya

Literally the biggest bitch out of the six to fight with. He’s so petty, he will refuse to admit he’s wrong for the longest time. Once he’s in, there’s no accepting he’s not right

At least for a while anyway. He’ll start to feel bad once he sees just how upset you’re getting, frustrated with his inability to see anyone’s point of view but his own

King of the silent treatment. He’ll hide away behind his switch, drowning out his guilty thoughts with the white noise of animal crossing

He’ll skate to take his mind off things, practicing new tricks until he’s exhausted

Makes really snide remarks that have absolutely nothing to do with the argument. The type to bring up shit that happened 4 months ago just to help his case

Reki is usually the one to make him see sense, telling him just how petty he’s being, and that he cant get so defensive when he’s in the wrong. He knows this, obviously, he just can’t help it sometimes.

Although he’s not one for real apologies, he’ll slowly begin to stop ignoring you, bringing you small snacks or sending you funny things he saw on his phone. He’ll sit beside you, acting as if it was completely unintentional, but will slowly inch closer and closer until he’s curled up at your side, mumbling about how he wasn’t completely right after all

Will literally hit anyone who tries to comment on how the pair of you have made up, talking about how “its not even that big of a deal, just shut up”

Ad*m

Yall fought cause y’know. He’s ad*m

Sat outside your house with a speaker and an ugly ass sign. It started raining and his sign got ruined and his makeup ran

You broke up with him and he cried

Slipped in the rain while leaving <3

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jams-sims · 2 years ago

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God im just posting about Helluva Boss all day huh.

I see a lot of people screaming and crying about Stella. Some how some shit is sexist when there is a literal women writing the show.

There were multiple ways Stella and Stolas relationship could have been written.

One of mutual understanding that they may not love eachother but they stick together for the child and ya know rich people bullshit. End resulting in Stolas cheating.

Theres a reality where Stolas was a shit bag and was just having a affiar and hid it from Stella the whole time.

But neither of those are the case, the end result is that Stolas and Stella were in a relationship that neither liked. And instead of Stella being chill, she abused Stolas. Even if later on its explained Stella had a rough childhood. That would only explain her issues not justify her actions.

Because heres the kicker; in that rant Stolas says he tried. He tried to make their life comfortable. If it turns out Stella is this way because of abuse herself. You'd think after 25 years of waiting for Stolas to turn out like her abusive brother or father she would have realized. OH he wasnt trying to just simply play nice and wait for my gaurd to lower.

It sounds like Stolas is has a lot more to lose than Stella does. She seems even petty about it. If anything her reputation and pride has been irreparately damaged because she openly gloated about not being divorced. Like what the fuck!? AGAIN! Even if it turns out she was truamatized as a child. That doesn't justifying nor excuse any of what she did. Shit Stolas looked at the paper to see she posted about a fucking party! She didnt even tell him and then she barely even invites him even tho its in his fucking house. STELLA WHAT THE FUCK GIRL?! She talks about how he barely wants to fuck her. And if you really pay attention she talks about how he just lays there and stares at a wall. Now you could chalk this up to him being gay or as I took it Stella never made him feel wanted. Thus sex was not a thing done willingly. Shit when Stolas tries to get Blitz to fuck him through all of that. He says no made me feel wanted nothing about whether it had to be a man or not. Just someone to care about him. (Vizie could have confrimed his sexuality but on my view this felt very demi for Stolas).

Stolas as a grown adult can say now that Octavia 17 he no longer has to live this lie of being together. Like this is super common in abusive relationships with kids. This isn't a slight to Octavia, Stolas is more than just her father hes is his own person. His rant doesnt mean he stopped loving her or it was a lie. It means her life wont be shatted because a teen can understand why mother and father divorced. While a small baby could not understand and would cause a bunch of stress.

Stella has done nothing to warrent sympathy now. And everyone chomping at the bit for like an excuse. You can like villians this whole ass site is made up people who love the bad guy. Stella is the antagonist you can enjoy that like damn.

Also I hate the uwu they are in hell no one is good. Okay listen- its basic fuckng writing to have a character you can sympathize with. If everyone sucked you wouldnt be watching the show. You have to connect with someone or it doesnt matter. If theres a story about 4 killers and they all kill nothing happen and they toture innocent people all day. You'd be like this is toture porn and boring. But if one is homeless and was abused. You suddenly start carring, its not even that hard to understand.

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss octavia

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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8 Anti LO Asks

1. It doesn’t really make sense for a long term comic such as LO to have such a drastic change in the artstyle, and even more you can’t really call it an improvement when all the interesting parts of the art style are now gone and all that it is now it’s just some basic same-face and body art style with barely any backgrounds. RS is incredibly talented for illustrative artwork and it’s really a shame she’s not doing that anymore and instead has left it to her team, with leaving them very messy sketches. The artstyle in the beginning had life and glamour and now it’s just very dull and boring. That’s not an improvement

2. I genuinely can’t think of any man in LO that’s even half way decent. Poseidon maybe? Hephaestus? Those are the only two I can manage, meanwhile the rest are either Rachel purposely ruining them because of her own biases (Zeus, Apollo, Thanatos to an extent) or are “good” men who are just creeps who disrespect all the women around them and are super creepy and obsessed over a literal teenager who acts like a child (Hades, Ares, Hermee, Eros, etc). The women aren’t much better either.

3. About Perse making Hades childish: (this is no way defending him, just some speculation, and tbh I doubt that RS has thought this through haha) I wonder if he becomes a horny teenager around her because she’s a goddess of fertility? Would that have any affect on him? Doesn’t excuse his creepy ass behavior, but could explain it a bit, I guess?

4. Okay so I'll be honest I dont really see any reason to 'simp' over Any of the LO characters?

Also, not to start sh*t, but - I think part of the reason why some of the LO fandom does not like Zeus (and perhaps gives Hera more leeway - at least in terms of cheating) is because:

Mythologically Zeus is a known cheater / rapist (Io for example, or Semele)

They see Hera cheating a Zeus as okay (its not) because he's been known to cheat on her in the past / fans see Hera cheating on Zeus with Hades as 'justified revenge' for what he's (Zeus) put her through

I'll be honest I dont really see Zeus (or Hades for that matter) as good rulers because

Despite other deities (like Eros) doing 'acts of wrath' - they get away with it because they often have someone to back them up (like Aphrodite offering to sleep with Zeus to get her son out of trouble) - but the one time Persephone does something wrong (an act of wrath) - Zeus wants to give her the Prometheus treatment - mainly so he can feel like an in control king whos subjects respect him

The reason this sound so odd is because of RS writing choices. Zeus is a grade A d*ck who is willing to destroy a 'young girls promising career' because she made 1 mistake that one time. But at the same time the act of wrath is framed oddly because Demeter doesn't want her daughter to get in trouble so she covers it up (its like the equivalent of hiding a murder from the cops).

Zeus wanting to Prometheus Kore seems overly harsh because she is a Child. (Well a teenager) - so it adds to the "Zeus is a d*ck" card, because she doesnt have the life experience to "get away with" stuff like the other deities because she is young AND sheltered.

Like again, the whole concept of Human Laws applying to Gods is so confusing:

Would Zeus have been this harsh if Demeter had simply come forward in the first place about Persephone's murder rampage? Why did she blackmail / get other deities involved to cover it up? Is Zeus THAT much of a d*ck in Demeters eyes that she knows he would harshly punish a child for something "she didnt mean to do" (killed mortals based on a feeling?)

Why is there a motherf*cking trial in the first place? Do All the other deities get the right to a fair trial or is this a special case? (Like can any deity just offer to sleep with Zeus and he'll let them off the hook?). If the other deities had commited the same crime would the trial / punishment be the same or does Zeus just have a rage boner because he was lied to? If thats the case then why are the other deities taking Persephones side during the trial? (Ares I can maybe understand cause hes the God of War and stuff but everyone else is taking Perse's side because their either her personal friend or family member (Hecate, Hermes, Demeter, Hades etc).

Why are there certain laws like "Zeus cant get to Persephone because she has clemency in the underworld" but other deities - including Leto, Demeter and others (like Perse's nymph family) can just stroll into Hades house? Why is Hermes still on house arrest? Why are Hades + Persephone throwing a house party when shes on trial for scythe crimes??!!!

Why are the gods bound by such petty squabbles?

The way RS set up the governing "laws" in universe just doesnt make a whole lotta sense. Also, sorry this got ramblely.

5. Tbh i don’t think that Hades acting differently when he’s with Persephone is a bad thing, as a concept. But there are many issues with this such as the fact that Persephone is barely legal and Hades act like an actual child around her. Obviously when you’re with someone they are going to act different than they do when they are at work. The problem is that Hades essentially goes from the “cold-scary king” to a 17 year old hormonal boy when he’s with Persephone. And him making out with her in a middle of a store or them golfing with diamonds or him making out with Persephone again in front of his workplace is not exactly acceptable behaviour from a king. If Hades acts all lovey-dovey with Persephone when their at their home together it’s different, but when they’re at a public place they can’t really do that. I would say that he has to keep a status about him but from what we’ve seen all the citizens of the underworld hate him and don’t respect him at all, from yelling at him to actually fighting with him, so idk how much status there is actually attached to him

6. I swear, the majority of the “cute” HxP moments in LO just seem like a single father dealing with his hyperactive 8 year old over the supposed future intimidating rulers who Rachel is obsessed about talking and drawing their sex life. Is it really that hard to depict Persephone even acting like a smart teenager at the very least, as opposed to an airhead grade schooler? It doesn’t scream cute to me, it seems more like a father/daughter relationship. It’s just weird.

7. i mean, i have a LO oc who's persephone's brother (fertility god) between demeter and zeus. dude got thrown into tartyrus to cover up the affair and now serves cronus. he was the god of summer, and my reasoning was demeter's seasons/harvest + summer thunderstorms. wrote a whole minific i will never post about him and persephone realizing everyone around them are assholes and healing together. so the mistress-of-zeus oc isnt that weird.

8. I’m not a Zeus stan by any means, but I do find him one of the most interesting characters, and one that RS has, in her attempts to make him be the worst ever to make Hades look better, actually way more interesting and compelling than the majority of the cast. He doesn’t lie or whine to the audience he’s some good person like Hades when he’s not, he owns that he’s a dick and doesn’t bullshit the audience into thinking he’s someone he’s not. RS tries to show us he’s a “bad” king, yet we see no proof it beyond what, he wants to uphold the law P broke and doesnt kiss Hades’ butt? That’s not a bad king, it’s a good one that he doesn’t let family ties or lust cloud his judgement, unlike Hades or Hera, for example. I don’t condone his cheating either, but it’s not fair to hate him for it, but love it that Hades cheated on Minthe so he could get into a teenager’s skirt and praise Hera for sleeping with her brother in law while punishing Zeus’ mistresses because she’s being a fake “loyal” wife. Just because he’s a deeply flawed, even a bad person doesn’t make him a bad character. Hades and Hera and even Persephone are awful people who do worse than Zeus, yet they’re loved and praised for it, all while being written with the depth of a puddle.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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cowabungacafe · 4 years ago

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hi! could i request a tmnt matchup please? i'm rather short (1,60cm), chubby, and i look like a mix of 90's grunge and early 2000 emo. i'm anti-authority, and i am a leader, not a follower. if i don't think that a rule makes sense, or is useful, i'm not going to follow it. however, i'm mostly pretty obedient, and i don't cause much trouble. some people see me as a big brother type of person, because i protect and support when needed, and i have a 'caretaker' type persona. i can succeed at everything i *want* to succeed at, the rest doesn't interest me. i present myself as incredibly confident, hella sassy, sarcastic and like i don't have a care in the world, even though i'm really sensitive, introverted, kinda timid and insecure. i cry a lot over small things, and beat myself up relentlessly when i make mistakes. in general, i don't think highly of myself at all, but l would never outright admit that, or speak up. i just really hate having to trust someone with my emotions. i love making people around me laugh, it makes me really happy. i can be a bit petty, and teasing, but only in a joking manner. i actually get flustered really easily, and i never initiate anything, even though i adore physical affection of any kind. what most people are surprised by is my fair and unbiased way of judging. i stand up for anyone who is treated unfairly, even if i have to stand my own against authority (which makes me incredibly nervous). then again, i'm unable to protect myself, and i just quietly take everything that is said to me. i get scared really easily, and i'm afraid of being hit or yelled at. hope this was okay♡

My oh my! I have to admit this was pretty hard. And i thought about this for one whole day and then it hit me who im gonna match u up with. Thank you for requesting, i hope you got who you wanted.

The above gif is the vibe you gave me and also i love this gif

I match you with

Raphael

Why i matched you with your result

You are leaderly and hardly wanna be a follower and an anti-authority, which resonates with raphs rebel vibes. If there's a rule that you think is wrong, you dont follow it no matter what. Just like raph, if raph thinks there some rules that literaly have no meaning he wont follow it and none can make him.

You show as if you are tough and dgaf about the world but deep down you're just a soft plushie baby who needs to be hugged tightly, same as raph, raph shows as if he doesn't care about this world and often talks about leaving his bros and starting his life separately, but the truth is quite opposite. He is very insecure and he thinks he doesn't deserve his bros.He cares and loves his brothers and the world deeeeply and can't think of a live without them. He says those stuff to maintain the "hardcore" persona. He too carries the sarcastic and sassy af vibe.

You will help someone and anyone in need no matter what the circumstances, even if its one man vs the world. Raph too will fight the demons if he have to to save someone he thinks is in need.

Just like you, raph too shows as if he doesn't get shy but thats not true, he is just a soft cinnamon roll in "badboy" skin. So any type of physical touch makes this red bandana mutant a full on tomato. Yes he is that flustered.

Raph is the most sarcastic of the brothers(i just checked that from the tmnt wiki)and will always go around throwing petty snarky comments on his smart-brain brothers(leo and donnie especially lol) so here too you resonate with him.

Raph is a pretty good brother i like to think even more reasonable than leo (as he argued with leo why mikey doesnt get a vote on the secrecy of purple ooze). Maybe thats why mikey is seen around raph more bcus raph too gives those protective big brother who may come off as harsh but will listen to your problems with open ears. (Maybe thts why he became the eldest brother in rottmnt). Here too you match with him.

Raph is reluctant on telling someone about his emotions as he thinks it will hamper his hardcore mode, until you came( read along the random hcs )

Although considered the hothead of the group, raphs sense of judgement isnt that far behind fron leos.

After mikey, raph is probably the second jokester, maybe not on the same level of mikey but pretty snarky and petty jokes lol.

Sometimes he breaks down when he realises that how the decision he took was wrong and how much it has affected not only him but his near and dear ones too. Like in the 2016, the stealing of the purple ooze from the police hqs made their existence known and April and Casey were taken into custody.

Random headcanons of both of you when together

Your first meeting is prolly when he was out on a patrol and saw u trying save an old lady who was getting mugged. He was watching from the rooftop the whole time, of how you advanced and told the robber to leave her alone with apparently no weapon in hand, until he came down when he felt like its showtimee!!

When you find some fault in Leo's plan/strategy you point them out right away and raph cant help but admire you and mouth the word "thats my girl", finally he has someone to back his ass up.

Your leadership qualities are excellent and even sensei confirmed that and raphs chest grew 4 inches wider with a permanent grin on his face and sending snarky looks towards leo, who is just rolling their eyes away.

Though he is usually the tough guy, but with you its a whole different thing. He shows a diff side to you, the side not many has witnessed. He is usually soft and goofy around you, if you're tired he will bring some food over at your place or just take you out for a lil dinner on the rooftops. He will spoil you with things you like.

He knows that you're pretty sensitive and flinch and gets scared of scolding or yelling(he knew it from the first time he had a fight with you and he raised his voice then suddenly he saw your eyes filling up with tears. From then on, he is always careful around you)

Everytime you cry whether be it a sad movie or someone which made you cry, he will cuddle with you and cradle you while brushing your hair and humming some lullaby which sensei used to sing to him.

#tmnt raphxreader #tmnt bayverse #tmnt #tmnt raph #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt raphael #tmnt raphael x reader #tmnt matchup #tmnt mstchups #tmnt ask #tmnt asks #tmnt ask box open #askbox open #tmnt askbox open

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tac-confessions · 4 years ago

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K lemme clear some stuff up since some of you cant read, and yes im gunna be aggressive as hell in this because none of you listen

First few things, i am not suicidal, i did not say i was going to off myself, i do not know who that anon was but because of everyone saying that anon was me, that anon is not getting the help they deserve from you people so maybe instead of looking for another petty reason to justify your actions against me, think for a second how ignorant your actions are to someone who is legitimately struggling with life right now. How do you think that anon feels? To have posted that as an attempt to seek help or something or to vent, and then see everyone going “omg vlixxie did this to guilt trip deku!!1!” Yeah, please use your brains thank you

To clarify, what i said was that i have struggled with suicidal thoughts and tendancies in the past, im getting help and im getting better, but i still struggle with heavy depression, i did not intend for this to be a guit trip, i realized how aggressive i was towards deku and i attempted to explain why i got so angry at them, receiving vivid violence threats like that really can trigger memories of when i was struggling with life, it can trigger a lot of dissociation and anger and hard shit to deal with, please do not take my words out of context if your going to go off on me for that, no one likes a hypocrite

K second thing, can you FUCK OFF with the ableist autism comments what the actual fuck is wrong with you anons. Seriously? You think people are defending me because im uwu autistic cant do shit? Yeah i have autism, yeah its a disorder thats hard af to deal with, but you know what? I fucking deal with it because life doesnt go soft on you because yoy have more trouble navigating it. I know how to control myself, i know how to form words, i can function as a human being and implying that i cant and that thats the only reason people are defending me is sickening and dehumanizing. Stop minimalizing me and the autistic community as a fucking whole just because you want reasons for me to be at fault

Next point, the slurs, oh the slurs, deku used the R slur against me. Deku did not know i was autistic, i did not ever expect them to have known that as i didnt tell them so i’d appreciate it if you dropped that whole “how could deku know!!” Im not mad because deku used a specific slur against autistic people against me. Im mad because deku used a slur as an insult. As i have been informed, deku also has some kind of disorder, but thats none of my business so i wont ask. The point is, deku has a disorder so in technicality he is likely eligable to reclaim the R slur. The issue with how deku used the slur was they used it as an insult, thats not how reclaiming works, reclaiming a slur is a process used by the minority to slowly take the edge away, to take away its power, so it cant be used against them anymore. When you “reclaim” a slur by using it as an insult, your giving it more power, your using it to descriminate, your doing literally the oposite of reclaiming. So dont come at me with the “deku can use the slur” because while thats true, using a slur to belittle or insult someone takes away any rights you might have and makes you just as discriminatory as anyone else using a slur as an insult

My triggers, so as i gave mentioned in this and as i have mentioned in notes and past posts, violence indicators and threats in general are pretty triggering for me, i dont know why ya’ll started saying “how could deku know??” Because i never said i expected them to know, newsflash, i really dont. Im not open about most of my triggers because most are centered around trauma or are embarrassing to talk about, ya’ll think i wanna be out here talking about how i used to wanna off myself? Ya’ll think im enjoying that? Nah not one bit i’d rather shut my damn mouth on that but it’d just give you people yet another reason to come at me so here we are. Deku did not know those two things would especially set me off, but the fact of the matter is that deku used a slur against me, and deku threatened me. Wether those two things are triggers for me or not they’re disgusting behavior and sick. The reason i brought up the triggers was like i said earlier, to try and explain why i got so aggressive at deku in addition to the original nature of the threats and insults

I legitimately dont know what “evidence” ya’ll have against me but your claiming you got screenshots of me doing/saying something that apparently warrants you to attack me, before ya’ll start sending those screens out like u claim your gunna do, maybe you should dm me and ask for my side, instead of furthering the one sided nature of this shitshow. I do have beef with endo rn, i have had beef with endo for a while now, but i kept it all in private, i didnt say anyting, i vented to my friends a few times because it was stressful as fuck and it was eating me up inside, i gave them screenshots when they asked but i literally never took this public. So before you try to attack me for “publicly” shaming endo, maybe consider that you are literally the people who made this a public affair and literally publicly shamed *me* for nothing

You had no reason to make this public, you had no reason to attack me, you’re grasping at straws trying to find a way to justify your actions, your trying to use me as a scape goat to take the blame off you, but you know what? I own up to my actions, i apologize when necessary, i genuinely want to better myself when i fuck up. And i dont use my mental health or my disorders as a sheild, i explain them when it’s necessary to the situation so dont twist that against me because it’ll only make you more of an asshole

Finally, people arent defending me because i have autism, people arent defending me because im “helpless” people are not defending me because i cant control myself or for any reason your describing, people are defending me because someone blatantly publicly threatened me with no basis and continued to harrass me and bully me into submission. To keep saying people are defending me because i have autism is not only offensive to me as a person with autism, its offensive to the whole ass community, we can take care of ourselves, just because we’re different doesnt mean you can pick our strengths and weaknesses apart and force an identity upon us

So before you make another post trying to further pin everything on me and make more shitty comments against me to justify yourself, consider that maybe you actually fucked up

And for the record, you keep saying i fucked up and im deflecting and i got called out, no one has told me how i fucked up, no one has told me why i apparently deserve this, so how the fuck do you expect me to apologize for actions i did that you wont tell me about. I cant apologize for things i didnt know offended or hurt you, not unless you downright tell me that it hurt you, im not a mind reader, and publicly shaming me isnt going to change that

Thank you.

#TW #submission #suicide ment #trauma ment

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macklives · 5 years ago

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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10.

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

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thelaudown · 4 years ago

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hyouka poly slowburn so its like: (post-anime)

satoshi and mayaka are dating all through highschool and houtarou and eru are maybe a little more invested than friends would normally be, and step in when they have problems to a degree that regular people would call a boundary issue.

houtarou and mayaka still give each other shit at every opportunity, but theyre much more outwardly friendly than before, and if she ever argues w satoshi houtarou is the first to say that theres no way its her fault. maybe one time it is and he confronts her abt it in a way that forces her to take him seriously. its the respect and codependency for me.

mayaka and satoshi have functioning eyes and houtarous feelings for eru are completely obvious to them. unfortunately shes a little harder to read, so they never really get further than being very close friends and committing to being together for the foreseeable future, as far as this road will take them - its the same dynamic for the entire friend group, but satoshi starts seriously considering a proposal in third year.

he and mayaka will be seperated through college - she wants to go to art school, he thinks he might like to be a teacher (specifically of like, textiles or language) and he thinks long distance is too much to ask of her. after a serious conversation she agrees and they take a break through college, but they are tentatively engaged, will be keeping in touch, and want to pick things back up once theyre both in the same location again.

mayaka and eru flat in college, bringing up mayakas long buried feelings for her, and theyve always been so touchy, and she has a feeling that erus guilty about something? but she doesnt want to get her hopes up. she gets really frustrated and confides in the only person who knows both satoshi and mayaka and isnt involved - HOUTAROU, who attends a less prestigious college than eru but is taking similar business courses (he hasnt forgotten) and is commuting from home.

hes closer to them than satoshi, but theres still a little distance and they dont meet as often as theyd like, partially bc he doesnt often make the effort - the energy he does have is expended on his classes, bc he has a motivation to do well - if he does, maybe eru will consider him without him even putting himself out there. anyway she still calls him on the phone all the time tho.

he doesnt really have any advice when mayaka speaks to him, but hes quick to reassure her that satoshi wouldnt be bothered by her feelings - "because its eru". functioning adults refer to each other by their first names. it was a super embarassing transition period but theyre used to it now.

so mayaka takes the leap and eru admits that while shes never really been one to dwell on romantic feelings, she reciprocates but is concerned abt satoshi - she loves him too, after all, and he and mayaka were/are/will be a great couple. she ends up confessing this to houtarou, filled w apologies and assurances that he neednt worry abt her personal matters, but he doesnt mind listening. anyway it stings (in a sad way, not a bitter one) that she apparently has interest in both mayaka and satoshi but not him, but he REALLY cant blame her. he tells her that he doesnt know how to advise her and she thanks him for listening, and then he does probably the most meddlesome thing hes ever done and calls satoshi and tells him everything.

satoshi is really cool abt it, and hits him w "lol if theyre dating what if i just take you out to lunch. fairs fair. what do you mean you dont know about my massive crush on you, mr observer didnt pick it up? oh wow okay youre really stupid when it comes to yourself. ill pick you up on friday" and then satoshi calls mayaka and gives her his blessing and assures that he loves them both and wishes them the best and wow they REALLY need to catch up soon. hell bring houtarou and they can compare date notes! and he hangs up.

satoshi is still kind of a petty guy and he probably only confessed to houtarou bc he was taken off guard, but hes not being inauthentic by any means. this is the new improved satoshi 2.0, who is becoming more comfortable w there being things he doesnt like abt himself and working on them and getting his feelings out constructively, rather than pushing them down and refusing to put himself in situations that might turn out badly. he gets his hopes up again, and is happier for it even when hes let down.

eru is shocked to hear abt houtarou and satoshi. mayaka isnt. they talk abt it, interspersed w making out, and are shocked to realise that they like both of them - mayaka is ESPECIALLY taken off guard, both by her own feelings and erus, which shed never noticed before. she almost tells eru abt houtarous 3+ years of pining, but stops herself lest things get messy. shes starting to get an idea, but needs to tread lightly. besides, its not like houtarou wld ever like her. theyre barely even friends. it doesnt all add up as evenly as shed like.

for houtarous part, hes genuinely in wtf mode irt satoshis feelings for him, and hes been in eru chitanda hell for so long that he never considered anything else, but now that he IS.... satoshi isnt so bad. he was always really cute w mayaka, when he wasnt being annoying for fun and profit. sure. okay. so they do some gay double dating through college, but the cross couple pining dont stop. satoshi is absolutely still obsessed w mayaka, but houtarou doesnt mind bc he cant take his eyes off eru whenever they meet up either.

she still calls him on the phone all the time, and when schoolwork picks up he often finds himself calling her w thoughts or questions. they do some more thought exercises, but they dont need to argue as an excuse, and she barely has to badger him anymore. one day he looks at himself and sees a functioning adult who spends a moderate amount of energy on things that arent necessarily necessary, and wants to sigh, but. hes happy.

college ends and they all find themselves back in kamiyama - satoshi is student teaching at their old middle school, eru is hard at work for her family, mayaka is working while she works on her manga debut, and houtarou is working while he figures out what he actually wants.

its clear to all of them that mayaka and satoshi need to have a talk, so they do, and they come up with... poly. its unconventional, but they really are happy, and they really do love each other, and mayaka would love to start wearing her ring again (satoshi never took his off, and she pretended not to notice but she had the biggest lady boner over it).

so now sometimes eru and houtarou are hanging out while their boyfriend and girlfriend are out on dates being engaged, making up for lost time and considering the practicality of marriage while they both have sidepieces, and houtarou and eru are pining BAD, but neither notices the other and he asks how her business is going and maybe kind of offers his assistance platonically.

so now THATS happening, and satoshi and mayaka get to talking one day abt how those two should date, shld we do smth? and if they did then the only pieces missing are mayaka/houtarou and satoshi/eru which is a beautiful dream but wld never happen, what do you mean he/she wld love to date you, wait really, oh my god, what, are we doing this,

and houtarou who has been working himself up to confessing for the past SEVEN YEARS, never gets to bc satoshi and mayaka interrupt while theyre at work and do it for him

#jhkgfjkfjg #hyouka #txt #god i put it in bullets to try and make it legible but im here for suggestions bc this is so much #myfic #sure thats a tag now i dont normally post much of anything but!! i want to be more active so take this #if literally anyone is out there and has poly feelings about these 4 please message me

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wings-of-a-storm · 6 years ago

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LUCAS’ HELL NIGHT ANALYSIS: PART 2 OF 2

Well, with this piece, I have officially finished trying to give voice to all the frenzied thoughts in my head after watching that terrible Friday night unfold for Lucas.

I think the hardest part was revisiting the anguish on Lucas’ face. That is going to haunt us all for a while, no doubt...

Alright so we are up to Lucas running for the exit of Chloe’s house after finding Eliott with Lucille and being publicly outed... That poor guy.

OPEN GANG WARFARE

I only realised upon watching this scene that you actually see the ripple of Lucas coming through the crowd before you actually physically ‘see’ him. Like people were actually flying across the screen because Lucas was shoving partygoers out of the way to get to the doorway. He was like a hurricane, leaving a trail of destruction before and after him. From our limited angle, there are at least two victims: Unknown Partygoer No.1, and the Bouncer.

A minute of silence please for the victims of Lucas’ savagery. Particularly for Unknown Partygoer No.1 who was actually shoved aside the first time Lucas entered the house as well. :’)

Obviously I laugh otherwise I cry. It was actually heartbreaking seeing the lengths Lucas needed to go to to get out of there before he lost it completely.

I actually felt bad for Basile in this scene -- he was being really sweet and trying to grab hold of Lucas to, I dunno, support him? Calm him? Reassure him? He wasn’t to realise that that was the worst thing he could have done because Lucas needed space and distance from the heartbreak he had left behind in the house.

Things might have been ‘okay’ if Arthur’s patience hadn’t snapped; if he hadn’t escalated things further with that passive aggressive jab that was rather below the belt regardless of Lucas’ lies. Things could have been worse though -- there could have been actual punches instead of all the shoving and pulling. And the only casualty was Arthur’s glasses (which the petty part of me kind of revels in?). But still, getting into any physical altercation with your friends is extreme and just goes to show the pressure cooker Lucas’ life had become.

It is a shame the Gang had to reach this point, but they’ve all been kind of assholes to each other at one time or another. I think perhaps only Yann has been a good friend to everyone. Arthur, Lucas and Basile have all been hurtful at some point…

I wonder where Lucas and Arthur will go from here though; how they will make up in the school break if they aren’t forced to see each other in class. (Assuming David sticks to reality in his skipping of the hiatus?) This type of anger between them seems much closer to Marti and Elia than the og -- and it took the special powers of the love wizard Giovanni GaraU to piece their friendship and pride back together. Does Yann have the same touch? Time will tell...

ELIOTT KISSING LUCILLE

Lucas had already reached his breaking point when he engaged in a physical altercation with his friends. He had already lost control over his emotions and was incredibly vulnerable standing exposed in front of the yard. People were staring at him and Arthur was still screaming bloody murder from the doorway about wanting to slap the hell out of him. Of course it was at this moment when Lucas saw the man behind his heartache kissing the girl he said he had broken up with.

So much of Lucas seeing Eliott kissing Lucille was awful. Firstly, Eliott and Lucille could have just stayed inside the party, but them seeking out time alone outside is just so private and intimate.

Secondly, Eliott was the one initiating everything (something none of his counterparts did). He was the one cupping her face and smiling at her and going in for two kisses. Two!

And thirdly, yes, that smile of his as he was looking at her was meant to cut all of our hearts out. Eliott’s smile is like his strongest weapon even if he doesn’t realise it. He uses it as a shield and he uses it to express all the pure and lovely joy in his heart. When he walks into any room, that smile is the first thing you see. It’s nuclear -- even from far away, that smile absolutely knocks you out. And boy did it knock Lucas out.

I’m not sure I’d go as far as to say Eliott was giving Lucille the same smile Lucas gets. Eliott’s a very smiley person and even Lucas’ friends received that kind of smile when Eliott didn’t even known them. I feel like there is an extra level of giddiness to Eliott’s smile when he looks at Lucas. I wasn’t worried about him smiling at Lucille so much. Especially when I assume the context of it, which is...

Okay, so after Eliott was hurt by Lucas and feeling like he had to give him up so as not to be a burden to him, he would have been absolutely devastated. We saw his face in that corridor and that would have been him trying to hide most of it. I’m a little grateful we never saw the extent of Eliott’s private devastation...

But Eliott’s snap decision to cut Lucas out of his life, meant he was suddenly alone with this intense heartbreak, and probably feeling extra vulnerable because it related to that terrible force in his brain that he can’t control and that always messes his life up.

No matter how strained his and Lucille’s relationship had become in the end, she was still someone close to him who really knows who he is and has seen the worst of him. She is so safe. And since we have never seen Eliott with any friends at school, I imagine that Eliott is pretty isolated at the moment without her. It feels completely believable that he would seek Lucille out for that comfort and security. It would also make him feel better about his mental illness to know that there is someone in the world (excluding his parents who we have no information on aside from David’s headcanons), who sees that side of him and accepts it. He’s not alone with it.

Luckily for Eliott, Lucas made his comments about mental illness only a day or two after Eliott had broken up with Lucille. That meant there was a window of opportunity to try and repair things with her. It would have required a lot of effort on his behalf though, to be convincing enough for her to take him back even though he was secretly battling heartbreak over someone else. He might have even ironically used his mental illness as an excuse for their break up (actually, I am convinced he did because it will probably end up fuelling a certain comment from Lucille to Lucas about Eliott’s patterns).

What this means though is that Eliott has to stay convincing for Lucille: he has to be that happy boyfriend who wants to be with her, who just suffered a blip. If Lucille sees through him, he is in danger of being alone again. There is probably also an element of Eliott needing to convince himself that he will be happy with Lucille and can make their relationship work. The alternative of being alone after such a terrible year is just too painful.

So yeh, I’m not too surprised by all the smiles and kisses that Eliott was initiating with Lucille even though it hurts to see them. His instagram diary tells us the truth: that while he recognises the good parts of having Lucille as his girlfriend, it isn’t the same now.

(Side note: His ‘L and him’ caption breaks me! Like A) he is distancing himself from himself, and B) it’s like he is cherishing the letter L and finding comfort that he still has an L in his life. He can almost pretend it is the other L...)

LUCAS' FACE AFTER SEEING ELIOTT KISSING LUCILLE

Well, Lucas’s face after seeing Eliott smiling at Lucille, cupping her face, kissing her, doing things he can still remember Eliott doing with him not too long ago... That is a face that is going to haunt us for a long time. The level of fury in it, of betrayal... I’ve never seen anything like it in Skam. That expression not only cuts straight through your chest, it strangles your heart.

it was so powerful and clearly the exact moment Lucas reached the bottom of what he could endure. Like shit, place a copy of that face into a scientific journal under “Human breaking point.”

When I think about that look and all the intense emotions swirling behind it, It feels like the dark twin of the look Eliott gave Lucas when he was playing piano. When Eliott looked at Lucas in that moment, you were just hit with those eyes, and it felt impossible to even begin describing all the different emotions in them. Lucas’ devastating fury holds a very similar power with all the complex emotions behind it. I consider it a ‘twin’ because Lucas’ eyes also seemed fuelled by love, but love that had been desecrated and turned into a wound against him...

(That gruesome lip curl when he glanced back at Arthur still yelling at him though. Oh damn that was fierce.)

Oh gosh guys, it was just so hard seeing Eliott kiss Lucille during the worst time of Lucas’ life. It was stomach-churning in a ‘I think someone just punched me in the gut’ way. Like, Lucas used to go to this guy for comfort and now in his time of need, when his ex-beard is yelling out his sexuality to strangers, when his friends are yelling awful things at him for everyone to hear, he not only doesn’t have Eliott to go to, but Eliott is so engrossed in the person Lucas always felt second-rate to. Eliott doesn’t even look up at the noise, he is completely oblivious to Lucas’ distress. Could Eliott feel any further away?

I don’t even want to begin trying to imagine everything Lucas was feeling at that moment as he looked at Eliott and Lucille. It is just too devastating. It actually feels worse than what Eliott went through in the school corridor, because at least then Eliott had control over it. Eliott could walk away before ever having to see what Lucas’ face would look like if he learned of Eliott’s mental illness; before ever having to hear Lucas break up with him over it.

Eliott also had all the information over their break up while Lucas remains in the dark (hi Polaris). Lucas is the one who has to see the guy he is in love with for real kissing the person Lucas has always felt second-rate to. And after all those promises that they would be together because Eliott had chosen him...

And since Lucas does not have the information on their break up that Eliott has, all Lucas can see when he looks at them is: Eliott never loved me; Eliott played me; Eliott has been happy with Lucille while I have been so miserable I’ve barely had energy to get off the couch; Eliott lied to me; Eliott never needed space, he just used it as an excuse to get back with Lucille without guilt; of course Eliott doesn’t want to be with me, why would I be so stupid to believe that he did?

And then in the midst of all this gut-wretching pain and the slap of betrayal, Lucas glances back at his friends who he just fought with, who can’t understand what he is going through, who are still hurling really hurtful things at him from the doorway (well, Arthur is), and he is just over everybody.

It almost feels like he is standing in this awful triangle of snipers who have opened fire on the most raw parts of his life -- his sexuality, his family situation, and the man he loves humiliating him in front of everyone. It’s just way too much humiliation and exposure for one person to take. Of course he had to get as far away from everyone and that hellhole of a place as soon as possible.

What is extra fun is that the people behind Lucas seem to have pieced some of the puzzle together. They see his fighting with the Gang, they see the pained expression of his face as he looks ahead, and they all turn to see what he is looking at to cause such an unmistakably anguished face. They see Lucille and Eliott. Guess we’re going to have some fun rumours after all when each section of the party joins up what they have witnessed with Lucas at the epicentre…

LUCAS HURTING HIMSELF

We all had an inkling that the beginning of Lucas’ hell week would be the hardest version for the viewer to watch. I think overall, our assumption was proved correct and that is all because this is the first version where we have seen Lucas’ face in the peak of his anguish.

In comparison, Skam og and Italia gave their Isak/Martino some privacy with their pain. We only ever see Isak’s back as he falls to his knees and cries so loud you can hear it over the Kanye track. We only ever see the vague outline of Martino’s face in the darkness as he screams and cries into his hands (it was so dark, it was lucky we were even able to see the spit flying from his mouth as he screamed). You basically had to rely on all other senses to figure out the amount of pain that Isak/Martino were going through. I think that method is powerful in itself, don’t get me wrong. But in France, we see Lucas completely exposed to the anguish ripping his soul apart. And it is incredibly confronting.

At first when Lucas left the party and the camera was following him down the dark, empty path, it felt like og: Lucas had privacy with his rage and pain. But then everything got loud; all the senses were like doubled. The sound of him smashing his fist against the bars of the fence was so loud and violent. We had that kind of noise in Italia too but that was from the piece of wood Martino was wielding, not his actual hand. So not only do you have the deep echo of metal being hit by a fist, you vicariously feel the pain that that must be inflicting on Lucas’ hand.

And then after Lucas realises he has injured himself and his legs lose power and he slumps down to the floor, the street light completely exposes the expression on his face. His anguish is completely exposed -- and it is anguish that is actually distorting his face. He almost isn’t recognisable. I mean, it is hard to watch anyone suffering that level of pain, but it’s even more hard-hitting with Lucas because his expressions are normally so controlled and neutral.

Two things absolutely wreck me next in this scene. The first is the way he cradles his bleeding hand. When you’ve hurt yourself, of course your natural instinct is to hold the damaged area as if you can somehow contain the pain to that one spot. But since his hurt hand feels more like a physical representation of his emotional hurt, it feels like he is trying to cradle himself. I HATE IT, MAKE IT STOP, GUYS!

The second thing that wrecks me is how after he slumps to the ground and leans his head back -- which also crashes against the metal bars with a deep booming echo -- he mouths something as if to say ‘ow’, like he is just hurting all over, no matter what he does.

And through all of it, he is crying without any sound because the emotion is coming from such a deep place in him. Until you see the numbness take over…

I’ll say it again: it is highly confronting. I can’t even bring myself to take screencaps of it.

I mean, that’s probably why og and Italia took a step back -- because that level of pain is so private and awful, it’s almost wrong for us to witness it. But, well, France plays dirty.

LUCAS HAS NO BEDROOM

Did I just say France plays dirty? Because they are about to double that claim by reminding us all of their trump card: that Lucas has no place to cry privately. His bed is literally in a communal living area while Manon goes through her own grieving in his bedroom.

When a person is as wounded by life as Lucas is right now, it is so essential to have a safe space all to yourself to be able to grieve in. Particularly for someone as reserved as Lucas, who won’t let anyone see any hint of his pain at all (except for this Friday night when his depression was so extreme, he had no energy to move in front of his friends and he couldn’t hide it anymore). How the hell is this poor kid supposed to grieve in a communal living room?!

And that also raises another question: how long did Lucas stay slumped on the cold concrete path on Friday night? If that was the best privacy he had, it was probably a long time. So yeh, thanks for that, France! Like this whole clip didn’t hurt enough…

A TINY BIT OF HOPE TO END ON…

What is unfortunately so hard with Lucas is how reserved he is with his emotions. He is such an island and that makes it hard for others to be able to help him. When Mika reached out to him on Thursday, he got a defensive eye roll. When Yann tried to reach out to him on Friday, he got grumpiness and a hurtful ‘It has nothing to do with you.’ It’s really hard to see Lucas push people away like that and just suffer so many things alone.

This week is going to be such an important turning point for him though. He will finally make that step to trust in others and share the pain that has been slowly drowning him. He has no other choice because he cannot mentally survive like that any longer. And when Lucas starts to open himself up more to his friends and roomates and starts to value that process, it is going to put him in such a healthy place to be able to be that support for Eliott when Eliott’s secrets are exposed and he becomes highly vulnerable.

Lucas’ journey is really tough right now but he is going reconnect with people and with life and be the best person he can be once he starts to accept help. It’s going to be such a rewarding journey to go through with him. <3

#Skam France #skamfr thoughts #3x05 thoughts #heartbreak 2 of 2 #elu #well yep that definitely almost broke me #skamfr goes for the jugular #so much changes when you #actually have to witness the #anguish on someone else's face #axel I am just floored

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popatochisssp · 6 years ago

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So your recent chapter in snips and snails has had me thinking. How would other skellies react if their bro started falling for their SO? Would they all be up for polyamory or would some tell their bro to get over it, or they break up with SO as to push them toward their brother. This information is important for my daydreaming

Anonymous: Heyo! Are you doing hc’s right now? If so, what are your ideas for a polyamorous relationship with sans/so/papyrus? I know you mentioned it with FGTC, but how would the other boys do? Thank you and ilysm!!

Well, the short version of these questions seems to be– “Can I make it work if I want to smooch both brothers?”

And the answer to that question as far as I’m concerned is yes! Ultimately, all skeles would be down for this kind of relationship!

…But some of them are going to have an easier road than others.

Yes, it’s the ‘fells that are on the Struggle Bus, of course it is, those boys have issues.

Undertale:

They’re a great combo!

They already know each other so well and love/respect one another that looping you into their relationship as a romantic branch is the easiest thing in the world.

They both balance the other out really well, to the point that dating them both might even make for a more harmonious relationship than choosing just one: Papyrus won’t shy away from lecturing Sans when his laziness may be letting you down, and Sans knows how to gently point out when Papyrus might be unintentionally talking over you or pushing too hard at something.

There’s no jealousy between them and you’re all grown, mature adults more than capable of navigating a three-person relationship.

Underswap:

Another great choice!

Much like the classic Sans-Papyrus pair, the Sky-Paps match-up isn’t just functional, it’s hyper-functional.

Their brotherly relationship is strong and they’re great at meeting and handling situations as a team, and you’re no different. Most of your time with them will be spent as a trio rather than duos with an odd man out since that’s what they do anyway– you’re just along for the ride! When one-on-one time does come around, they’ll pass you off to the other without hesitation, no jealousy to be found and just a nuzzle on your cheek and an encouragement to have fun.

Even the usually clingy Sky doesn’t mind giving you and Paps space when you want it since there’s no one he trusts and loves more than his (big) little brother, and Paps might actually feel a little more driven to impress and woo you when he sees the lengths Sky regularly goes to. Maybe he can’t one-up his big brother’s efforts, but it reminds him that you’re special and deserving of the attention and he’ll show you so in his own, more understated way.

They balance each other out in so many ways that it won’t ever feel like you’re trying to juggle them to make things work. As long as you love them, they’ll love you right back and your relationship is practically self-sustaining!

Underfell:

You must not be shy of challenges, because you’ve gotten yourself into some rocky waters with this one.

They’ll both agree to this pretty quickly without much fuss– sharing a datemate with their brother, the only person who always had their back underground and would die for them, and vice versa? Of course, there’s no one they’d rather trust you with than their own brother!

They say that, and for the most part they do mean it, but… there are some very well-buried landmines here and you will find at least one of them in the course of this relationship.

For Jasper, it’s bitterness: here’s yet another thing in his life that he’s giving up for his brother’s sake. It’s not Pyre he resents but the situation and how exceedingly unfair the circumstances of his life have been so far. He lost his childhood to raising and protecting Pyre while he was young, and then he had to play his toady and listen to barked orders and snapped insults so Pyre could maintain a fearsome reputation and neither of them would get too severely messed with. And then now here’s this, a datemate he can’t even keep all to himself because you love his baby brother, too. It stings, but he’ll try to quash it down since he loves you and Pyre too deeply to ever want to cause problems for you.

Meanwhile Pyre is masking his own issues, namely jealous insecurity. He loves Jasper, too, and he deeply respects the sacrifices his big brother made for him Underground both in adolescence and adulthood, but…well, it’s not as if he had it easy! Jasper’s initially low HP meant that no matter how strong a fighter he was, there’d always be somebody who saw him as easy EXP, somebody trying to kill them both because they could– that was why he worked his way up to Captain of the Royal Guard and trained so hard to become an efficient, deadly soldier, so that he could be intimidating enough that most monsters wouldn’t even want to try attacking him or somebody under his command. That’s why he had to distance himself from everyone else, even the brother he was trying to protect, just in case someone tried to take advantage of a social connection. He was completely emotionally isolated for a long time, with a lot weighing on his shoulders: his duties, his brother’s safety, his own safety, and Jasper…

Jasper didn’t have to shoulder any of that once Pyre took responsibility.

Pyre knows, intellectually, that Jasper suffered at least as bad for a long time, but emotionally it hurt and made Pyre a little angry to see him socializing freely with the lowlifes at Grillby’s and sleeping openly at his illegal hot-dog stands. Jasper couldn’t have been totally carefree, no one could be underground, but he had the luxury of being very close to it thanks to Pyre’s status, which Pyre maintained at his own expense. And now, it feels like Jasper is taking advantage of him again, casually charming his way into your good graces and seducing you away from him.

He’s fairly certain he’s going to lose you, actually, since he knows that his older brother is the more personable of the two of them and he hates the waiting, he kinda wants to just end it himself and let Jasper have you…

But, same as Jasper, Pyre loves both of you dearly and he knows that abruptly breaking up with you would hurt you, and that Jasper would figure out why he did it and be even more hurt plus guilty over it, so he bites his tongue.

They’re both going to stew in silence over it and are fully committed to doing so for the rest of your natural lives– you’re going to have to mediate this if you want to have any hope of a healthy relationship.

It won’t be too hard to figure out what’s going on with them individually, they’re both very salty skeletons that can mostly keep quiet about the things bugging them, but there’s a lot of snide and bitter quips muttered under their breath that you’re usually close enough to hear and draw conclusions from. At that point, you need to sit down with them and force a discussion; play whatever hard-ball you must to get them to talk, this is too important to sweep under the rug just because it’s awkward and painful.

They’ll be stilted at first and need a lot of prodding to keep going, embarrassed that their datemate is playing counselor for them, but soon enough they’ll start talking on their own. Yelling on their own. Screaming at each other and breaking shit on their own.

They’ve been repressing a lot of emotions for a long time and now that they’re flowing it’s like a tsunami, one you should probably get out of the splash zone of while they get it all out.

You don’t have to worry about them actually hurting each other, there’s far too much love between them for that and once the anger and bitterness is out there in the open, they realize that, too. There’s gonna be tears and broken sobs and fierce hugging and that’s your cue to get back on in there and take care of your boys– they love each other, they love you, and you love them right back, it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.

Once the dust is settled, you’re theirs for life, no take-backs. You came into their home, showed them love and affection, and helped them get their brother back after years of tension and walking on eggshells: if you think they’re ever going to let you go now, you’re dead-wrong.

There’s going to be days when you almost regret emotionally reconciling them because when they’re not bickering over petty nonsense or competing with each other, they are the most terrifyingly efficient team you’ve ever seen. They’ll casually join forces against you whenever it suits them and you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell. They love and respect you of course, they’d never hurt or take advantage of you, but the combined force of Jasper’s rough charm and Pyre’s slick cunning means that you’re not often going to find yourself ‘winning’ in your relationship.

On the bright side, your romantic life is positively scorching between these two fiery personalities and the loving passion they have for you is more than enough of a balm on any wounds you might take to your pride. ;3

Swapfell:

Deceptively easy.

At first, they’re both very excited and on-board for this. As far as they’re concerned, there’s no one better in the world to share their datemate with than their own brother, someone trustworthy that they love unconditionally and don’t have to worry about losing you to, since they obviously wouldn’t try to steal you from each other.

And that’s true, because if there’s a problem it won’t be something they did, it’ll be what you did. Or maybe more accurately, what you didn’t do.

There’s really only one way to screw this up, but it’s a hard and fast death sentence for the relationship if you start neglecting Rus or playing favorites with Mal instead.

Rus is a needy guy, not too prone to jealousy but very prone to insecurity when the conditions are right, and Mal is one of the hardest (albeit unintentional) hitter of those buttons. His big brother, the one who’s taken care of him his whole life, protected him and sacrificed for him, Rus thinks Mal is a really cool guy. He’s not surprised at all that you want to date him, but he is surprised that you want to date Mal’s living disaster of a brother, too.

If you’re not careful and spend too much time with Mal or side with him all the time or do anything that could indicate you have a significant preference for one brother over the other, Rus is probably gonna jump to some conclusions and now it makes sense to him why you’re not just dating his brother– it’s ‘cause it’s a pity thing…isn’t it?

Mal is the one you really want but you or Mal or maybe both of you noticed his pathetic interest in you and decided to toss him a bone. To make him feel better. Yaaaay.

His aversion to conflict means that he’s definitely never going to say anything to either of you, ever, but his 'realization’ (whether it’s true or not, almost certainly not) is painful and he won’t be able to help sulking and shying away from your affection for awhile.

That, for Mal, is as good as an actual, physical red flag. He’s sharp and knows his brother well enough to piece together everything that’s happened in Rus’ self-deprecating skull and as far as he’s concerned, there’s only one course of action from here: he’s gonna try to wriggle himself out of the relationship entirely and push you towards Rus.

Mal loves his baby brother fiercely and since he already blames his failings as a pseudo-parent for the anxiety and insecurity he struggles with, the absolute last thing he wants to do is hurt him by taking his datemate away. It’s a no-brainer to remove himself from the situation if he’s distracting you from Rus, but once it’s progressed to this point, there’s no positive outcome for anyone.

Rus is now convinced he’s the pity-boyfriend and feels awful that you don’t get to be with Mal anymore because he couldn’t hide his dumb feelings better. Mal is upset that he can’t be with you, and a little upset with you for not loving his little brother enough to begin with and making this choice necessary. And of course, you’re gonna be hurting, too, because one of your boyfriends thinks he’s your consolation prize and the other isn’t even your boyfriend anymore.

But of course, that’s the Worst Case Scenario.

To make this work, you just need to be fair about sharing your time and affection, which in healthy polyamory, you should probably already be doing! But if for some reason, you can’t do that, skew slightly in Rus’ favor. Mal can be jealous and selfish but he’s more than willing to make room for his brother’s happiness, and he knows that he’s welcome to edge into yours and Rus’ time together if he really wants– Rus has no problems sharing, he just gets a little upset if he thinks he’s the second choice.

If you put in the time and effort to assure Rus that you’re dating him because you care about him, this actually becomes one of the easiest bro-combos possible. Mal and Rus have a less contentious relationship than the other ‘fell brothers and with less buried anger and bitterness between them their bond is already strong and relatively healthy when you enter the mix.

Your integration is like finding the perfect centerpiece to tie an already-stylish room together. Mal plans all the dates and budgets your time between them in the most efficient way possible, while Rus makes sure you and him still get some time to relax and screw around at home. They work very well together as brothers and as your co-boyfriends with about equal importance placed on each role, so you’ll feel nothing but cherished and wanted between the two of them. Make sure to return the favor!

Horrortale:

Yes, a fantastic idea!

They’re both delighted that you asked and agree to share you pretty much immediately, without even a little fuss.

Slate and Papy are arguably the most codependent of the brothers (understandably, considering their shared trauma of the famine) and they’re also probably the most emotionally open with one another as a result, so if a poly relationship seems like it’s becoming a possibility with you, they’re going to get everything talked out and openly agreed upon for a very smooth transition.

It’s actually…kind of an ideal situation for both of them, in a way? Their issues and insecurities are…well, there’s a good deal of them and they’re both a tad concerned that the weight of it might be too much for you alone. They don’t want to overwhelm you or put too much pressure on you just because they’re a little… ‘broken’ is the wrong word for it, but they’re far from undamaged, either!

But with the other brother in the mix, the same one who’s always been there to support his sibling even before you came along, so much of that pressure is taken off.

Slate doesn’t worry that you’re going to suffer from his dissociation and memory problems because he knows Papy is there with his sharp mind and attention to detail to pick up the slack. Likewise, Papy doesn’t worry quite so much on his bad days that you’re secretly unhappy or would be better off without him because Slate is around, who even with a hole in his skull is naturally charming and very skilled at reading people– if you had any complaints, Slate would know and pass them along so they could make you as content as possible!

The end result is that they both relax and don’t psych themselves out quite as much as they might without their brother, and you get to see them as close to their old, pre-horror selves as they can get. Papy is a little more confident and Slate jokes around more and they both treat you like you make the sun rise every morning because you’re the one that loves them both enough to let this relationship be a thing they can have and that’s so cool.

There’s not a drop of jealousy over you from either of them, especially when they can see first-hand that you’re making their brother as happy as you make them, so this is a pretty harmonious and loving match-up, with a lot of potential for success!

#undertale #headcanons #sans #papyrus #sans/reader #papyrus/reader #underswap #us!sans #us!papyrus #underfell #uf!sans #uf!papyrus #swapfell/fellswap #sf!sans #sf!papyrus #horrortale #ht!sans #ht!papyrus

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oflgtfol · 5 years ago

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I LOVE other worlds than these so much i’m... putting this under the read more its very long. im rambling a lot its probably a mess im just spouting words about how i think and feel regarding this song

the instrumentals are. phenomenal. starting with the beginning of the song. i don’t understand why so many people are like “oh no the first few seconds scared me” but LIKE it sounds so good what is wrong with you. and the beat, and the guitars, GOD

and dustin’s singing it’s just. oh my godddddd i love how during the verses, the volume/intensity on the first few words of a line, like “TEN FEET TALL behind your wall / telling yourself that you’re not small / ROLL YOURSELF into a tight ball / you cant be lost if you’ve gone awol” its just. SUCH a nice rhythm going on, like some sort of seesaw, very cool, very nice, and very fun to sing along to

and also like, the rhythm for each line is just so good especially like, with the.. alliteration? or whatever? like it just flows so nicely, like “into a tight ball” the t sound is just, so good, idk it’s just very satisfying. it’s also in the line “feed it fiction and lies” and “reaping from the cell you sow.” i mean like i guess it might not even be intentional and can be in tons of other songs on accident ( like its only two words for each sound LOL) but for some reason i just notice it a lot here and its, Very Good

AND THE WAY HE DELIVERS THE LINE “ARE WE FLASHES IN A RUT GOING IN AND OUT OF LUCK” LIKE JUST THE WAY HE DELIVERS IT GUTS ME BRO . IT GUTS ME. IM EMO. IT FLOWS SO NICELY AND THE MELODY AND THE EMOTION IM...

what REALLY steals the show for me though are the LYRICS like they’re . so poignant and powerful and beautiful and i’m just the epitome of that lady gaga gif. starset always has such fantastic lyrics but this song GETS me so badly. like “pull the wool out from your eyes / it won’t shade your frail belief” IS SO METAL ITS SUCH A GOOD LINE. and “bury your head so you won’t see / the truth you hide is the truth you seek” LIKE HELLO... and the allusions to other songs from transmissions and vessels like MONSTER AND MY DEMONS it makes me so emo..... im so emo

AND THE BRIDGE. the bridge is a masterpiece. i remember hearing/reading somewhere that bridges are dustin’s favorite part of a song to work on and like, it really shows here. god he blew it out of the park with this song. the lyrics go so fucking hard.. “is it all an oddity? / are we flakes of empty dust spinning on a ball of rust? maybe / but the light is ours to see / you had eyes but sewed them shut / but that feeling in your gut won’t fade” and then my FAVORITE part is the second half of the bridge: “is it all a tragedy? / are we flashes in a rut going in and out of luck? maybe / but the answers will not change / even when they’re covered up, all these questions in your gut won’t fade” LIKE THOSE LYRICS ARE PHENOMENAL

AND THE WAY THE SECOND HALF GETS SO MUCH MORE INTENSE ITS JUST.. EUFHAUAHGUH. it gets me so badly

i’ve thought about this song so much.. there’s so many different ways to interpret it and like. im a sucker for space and drawing meaning from how insignificant we are in the universe. my college essay was basically just carl sagan’s pale blue dot speech but on a word count and written by a barely 17 year old. so like, thinking about this is one of my favorite things, and it really gets me. so my favorite interpretation of this song has to be probably the one that’s most on the nose, which is that like. there are other worlds than these, we’re just one small world in this universe, but nobody fucking realizes it, and this whole song is just the frustration that comes with knowing and recognizing our place in the universe, but nobody else ever really thinks about it or wants to think about it. it’s the frustration of thinking about the universe and dreaming about traveling across space but then realizing we’re still stuck on earth, and there’s so many fucking problems here because everybody’s mindset is stuck here as well. nobody thinks about the big picture. there’s so many petty wars and violence and hatred and literally none of this MATTERS i just want to grab people’s shoulders and fucking shake them like WHY are you DOING THIS? literally what is the point?

like we’re so insignificant in the universe and while some people may take that negatively, we can still derive meaning from it! nothing we do matters on a grand scale, so why don’t we take what little impact we have and make something of it? i feel like that’s what the entire bridge encapsulates and that’s why it gets me so badly like YES we’re flakes of empty dust on this tiny little rock, but we can still make something of it, “the light is ours to see.” and when it talks about that feeling in your gut its like UJYMHGNFDSFTGH it just makes me think of that like, absolute awe i feel when thinking about the universe, and just the, frustration and indignation i feel when it’s like, we can DO something, we can improve this planet, but nobody else wants to!!! or at least, nobody who has the ability wants to!!!

IDK this whole song just feels like my fucking frustration with world leaders who can make a difference in the world but just stew in their bigotry and violence, so caught up in petty political matters that they dont think about anything else. theyre the epitome of people who purposefully hide the truth from themselves and others, theyre the ones hiding behind walls and wearing blindfolds and sewing their eyes shut because they don’t want to face the truth, because they’d rather dole out the same centuries-old bigotry and prejudice rather than improving the world and making something meaningful of our meager existence. our lives are a blink of an eye on the scale of the universe, but we can still be optimists about this and spend that blink of an eye in the best way possible... but no. instead, there’s meaningless wars and greed and just, what’s the point??

a similar song with a similar meaning (vastly different genres though) is stairs to the attic by the antlers. it’s got the whole, wow the universe is so much bigger than me, vibe going on, but it takes a different approach. instead it’s about awe and wonder, and appreciation and celebration. it’s like the individual realization of our place in the universe. but other worlds than these is like, what that means on a larger societal scale, it’s the inevitable frustration and anger you feel when you realize nobody else recognizes this, and that this lack of recognition and humility is what causes these widespread societal problems and systemic violence. these two songs are like, two sides of the same coin representing different emotions centering around the same idea, and they’re equally valuable to me for that

AND BECAUSE owtt is more like, anger and frustration, it’s SO evident in the overall sound of the song. the driving guitars, the intense vocals, just how loud everything is. the lyrics are already cutthroat enough but then the way dustin delivers them its like WOW you can hear how indignant and disgusted he is. im especially looking at “no one really knows the truth / no, not you” like, lyrically and musically you can just hear how much this is meant to look down on whoever this is aimed at. these lyrics are so condescending but not in the like, arrogant way, just in the Wow Im Pissed Off kind of way and i love it so much

ALSO the only time the song lets up on intensity and volume is during the bridge, which is very interesting especially in the meaning. like the whole song is about the anger and frustration i Described Above, but then the bridge is instead elaborating more, actually explaining the whole We’re Small kind of idea, so the anger lets up and instead makes way for a bit of the uhm, awe, like in stairs to the attic. but it doesnt go too soft because ultimately he’s still mad, it’s just quietly restrained, and then the quiet part ends and THE SECOND HALF GETS SO INTENSE, LIKE THAT LITTLE REPRIEVE IS DONE HE IS BACK TO BEING PISSED OFF especially with the line “IS IT ALL A TRAGEDY” LIKE YJHTGRFED

and then this song’s placement on the album, the second to last song, it just. the whole tone has a very, Conclusive feel to it. idk if yall can understand that. it’s just certain songs Sound like a concluding song of some narrative, in some way. either they Sound like they end the album or they sound like some song that plays during the credits of a movie or something. theres just a very Conclusive feel to it, so its placement as the second to last song just makes all of this so meaningful to me. of course diving bell follows it but its so much more subdued and, instead of angry, it’s like...... depression. which i find, very interesting. this song is like the climax of the album, it’s all fire and intensity and anger, and then the album concludes with all that sputtering out into some sad farewell song. of course diving bell does get its intense ending, but overall the whole song just, does not have the energy of owtt. diving bell is entirely about some farewell, and then its lyrics are so sad and it sounds so mournful and subdued......... other worlds than these is the last Hurrah of the album. the moments of intensity for diving bell just sound like a desperate attempt to get back up again, but it just, flops, and ends (i dont mean this as a bad thing i mean this in terms of like, the Meaning of the songs/album, in fact it actually makes it hit so much harder for me lol. especially with how abruptly diving bell ends, its like the energy it tried to get back from previous songs, it just cant hold on anymore and just. gives up. and the song ends)

also i love the symbol on the official video ;_;

hehe other worlds... the circles represent Other Worlds.. hehe :D it’s so simple but it looks so cool. very nice

#NONE of this is coherent im just typing words #and i feel like ive made 20 posts exactly like this before LOL #brot posts #music #EDIT: THIS IS ALMOST 2K WORDS IM. THATS LONGER THAN MY COLLEGE PAPERS WHATS WRONG WITH ME

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himbofreddynewandyke · 5 years ago

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Ok this is complete #blasphamy and creamiscle will always be my ship, but I can't stop thinking about a Freddy/Eddie/Vic threesome

Vic's the one who orchestrates it, near the beginning right after the name scene before Freddy gets to know Larry, Vic and eddie are in bed after sex, and Vic's like, “so who's the skinny kid, Mr Orange”, and Eddie’s like, “some guy, petty dealer, we’ve never worked with him before but he came with a good referral”, and Vic's like, “I just know the kid's a fag, you see those looks he was throwing your dad's friend, try and get him here”, and eddie's unsure, he and vic have had threesomes with women in the past (where they both had to pretend they were only into her and not also each other) but this just seems different to him.

But Vic keeps pushing him so Eddie invites Orange back to Eddie's place in the guise of it being a business thing, and Freddy's secretly shitting himself b/c obvs Eddie is second in command and the Cabot heir so the LAPD wants him almost as much as Joe, plus Blonde is just intimidating (even if Freddy thinks he's kinda hot, god why does he find dominate men so sexy, keep it down newandyke, don't let your fag out, just do the job, you're super cool)

And when he gets there Eddie leads him into an office and Blonde's there, and Eddie starts going over the heist but Blonde keeps touching Freddy, not overtly at first just a hand on his shoulders and then both on his waist for a couple seconds to move him over a bit, and Freddy's freaking out, why's he doing this, Eddie doesn't even seem to notice that Blonde's manhandling him right in front of him. And Vic's just getting bolder now and is standing behind Freddy and running his hands down Freddy's side then thighs then over his crotch and pressing down on it, and this is right in front of Eddie who doesn't even blink and just continues talking about the job, and then when he finishes what he's saying, Blonde whispers in Freddy's ear "I think you'd better thank Mr Cabot here, hm?" and forces Freddy to his knees.

And Freddy's thinking, oh god oh shit they've figured it out I'm undercover, they were both fucking with me and now they're gonna shoot me in the head execution style, but Eddie kinda goes "Vic ..." in a voice he often uses to tell Vic to dial it down a bit, and Vic just shrugs n pulls Freddy up by his shirt (god god jesus he shouldn't find it so hot how easy it is for this guy to manhandle him) and freddy's thinking, "what's going on, maybe my covers not blown, maybe I'm gonna live after all" and then Vic pushes him towards Eddie slightly and suddenly Eddie's lips are on his and they're making out and he hadn’t thought about Eddie that way (tho he'd had a few good wanks over that mr white guy) but it's been ages since he's been kissed or even touched and Eddie's a good kisser, he finds himself opening his mouth slightly and deepening the kiss, and Jesus Fuck he's kissing Eddie fucking Cabot and then he sees Vic lean over his shoulder and nudge his head out of the way and then Vic and Eddie are kissing and a few other things are starting to click into place for Freddy, he's part turned on and part massively relieved this office isnt going to be his murder scene.

So Vic and Eddie lead him to Eddie's bedroom, and the bed is huge and Eddie lays down at the head of it with his head propped on a pillow while Vic kisses Freddy, he has to lean down to do so lololol, and Vic started undressing Freddy while making out with him, and Freddy''s kinda weak at the knees coz even if Blonde still scares him the submissive part of him would let him do anything, then Vic's talking to Eddie, "I Wanna see him blow you" and Eddie rolls his eyes and says, "Vic he's a person not a plaything, ask him", and Vic turns to Freddy and cups his face in his hand and says in this soft voice (that still sounds dangerous to Freddy) "you wanna blow Eddie baby, you wanna suck him while I watch?" n having his face being caressed and being talked to like that brings Freddy down into a sort of subspace and he nods and then hes on all fours on the bed over Eddie's legs, sucking his dick, and he can feel Blonde's hands on his back encouraging him, moving up to rubbing between his shoulder blades, and then Blonde's hand on the back of his head, pushes him down a bit and Freddy chokes, and Eddie says "Vic" in That Voice again and pushes Vic's hands off Freddy. and vic just lays on his side next to them after that watching them intently.

After Freddy makes Eddie come (he swallows it with both of them watching, which he usually does anyway, but he gets a feeling with these two like he doesnt have much choice in the matter), they all just kinda have their hands all over each other, and despite his reservations and still being scared, Freddys loving the attention from two guys at once, two pairs of hands touching him unpredictably, at one point eddie's sucking his neck and playing with one of his nipples while Vic's teasing the other nipple between his teeth, he’s embarrassed at how much he’s moaning and whining, and then Vic says to Eddie "wanna get him ready for me?" and Eddie rolls his eyes again and goes "ask HIM" and Vic does the same thing again, caressing the side of Freddys face and running his hand thru Freddy's hair and cooing "you want Eddie to get you ready for me to fuck you hm?" and Freddy nods and tries to say yes but hes feeling so out of his element and slightly embarrassed that he stutters twice trying to get it out, but Vics like "aw, you're cute" and moves Freddy so he's on his back with his head on the pillow where Eddie started off, and again Freddy finds it so hot yet disconcerting how easy it is for this guy to manipulate and move his body.

And then Vic's sucking at his neck and jaw and nips his earlob then his shoulder, it hurts a bit and Freddy thinks he even draws a bit of blood, but it feels so good, and he hears Eddie say "lift him up a bit" and feels Vics hands under his lower back lifting him up and pillow being slid under his arse to bring his hips up and then Eddie's fingers are in him, stretching him, Freddy feels overwhelmed with Eddie's fingers opening his arse while Vic has his mouth locked in a kiss that demands his full attention. And then Eddie beside them, pulling Vic's head away from freddy and towards him for a quick kiss, and Freddy barely has time to register it before Vic's between his legs, lifting them up, grabbing the lube that Eddie had tossed beside them and rubbing some over his cock, and then he's got the head of his dick pressed against Freddy's hole, he's sliding in slower and gentler than Freddy thought he would, even tho it still hurts coz his dick is in proportion to the rest of him, but he's not being nearly as rough as Freddy expected, running his hands down Freddy's sides, and it's starting to feel really good, Freddy’s letting out lil groans and gasps, he hasn't been fucked in a long time, the familiar pleasure-pain mix that he slightly hates himself for liking so much.

After a while Vic starts to speed up, grabbing his hips and doing some sharp shallow thrusts, laughing when Freddy whimpers, "oh you are cute, kid", he's leaning over freddy now, his arms on either side of Freddy's head, sucking his neck, nipping him, and Freddy doesnt feel like he could say anything, ask him not to leave marks.

Vic's not really looking at him, just staring down at where their bodies are meeting so Freddy closes his eyes for a bit, just trying to stop his thoughts and enjoy the fuck. He can hear Vic talking with Eddie and then Blonde's thrusts start to stutter a bit, he hears him say something like "god Eddie ... Eddie", Freddy opens his eyes and Blonde's still above him but is looking behind himself, he starts to stop a few times then presses deeper into Freddy, and hisses "Eddie..." again, and Freddy realises with a jolt that Eddie's inside Blonde, fucking him while he’s fucking Freddy, and Eddie starts sharply thrusting and Freddy can see his hands moving around Blonde's waist and stomach, every time Eddie thrusts it just drives Vic even deeper into Freddy.

Freddy's whimpering a bit, and Vic laughs and goes "god this guy's noisy" and Freddy feels embarrassed, he sees Vic turn his head and meet Eddie for a kiss, and Freddy desperately wants someone to kiss him, but doesn't want to ask for it, and doesn't want it to be from either of them.

Vic grabs Freddys dick and starts jerking him, making Freddy groan some more and Vic's like "yeah, you like that don't you baby, you love having my thick cock in you, hm?" and Freddy likes the dirty talk and feeling dominated, but he also feels slightly weird, Eddie's arms are around Blonde and he's kissing his neck and Freddy feels so so full yet bizarrely empty, like he's just a prop for Blonde and Eddie's lovemaking.

Vic turns and kisses Eddie again, then gives his attention back to Freddy, and is teasing him, "I wanna fuck you from behind next time ... have you on your hands and knees, or bent over Eddie's desk. Maybe we could even fuck you on Joe's desk one day hm, would you like that baby? You'd like me fucking you hard over Joe Cabot's desk, wouldn't you, but if we made a mess you'd have to lap it all up" and Eddie makes a noise behind Vic that he definitely does NOT approve of that idea and he slams into Vic hard and Vic grunts but he's still grinning widely, and god Freddy shouldn't find his fucked up dirty talk as hot as he does, but its no more fucked up than this whole situation is already.

#reservoir dogs #my post #idk how to write an ending #*pulp voice* i dont know why but i had to end it somewhere. so it ended there

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years ago

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I Hate You, Kim Taehyung! (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I hope this still turns out into what all of you wanted since its many similar requests jumbled into one. Hehe. And as for the last two anon, I dont know if this can be considered as badboy Tae but I hope it works and I think all my Tae's fics has a touch of angst in it but mostly all of it has a happy ending. So I hope you will still like this ♡♡

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here. if anyone here like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

MASTERLIST

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate you Kim Taehyung!" Y/N screamed out as loud as she can as she sat sprawled down on the floor with seven years of costumes strewn all over her. She can shout as loud as she can and no one would say anything, seeing how its almost 4 am and she is the only one left in the building. Of course, her late night over time is thanks to none other than the charming Kim Taehyung.

When she first got offered the job as the junior stylist for BTS, she thought luck has finally shined down on her. That her days of making one cup of instant noodle last for the whole day is long gone. Little did she know that by accepting this job, she is cashing in a one way ticket to hell. A hell that is ruled by a handsome devil known as Kim Taehyung.

Well, not that she thinks he's handsome, but he is obviously not bad looking. He didnt win the most handsome face in the world for two times in a row for nothing, right?

But what good is his face if all he ever do is pick on her? Its as if he has developed a personal dislike towards Y/N and Y/N alone. Y/N couldnt understand why everyone keeps on saying that the members are friendly and nice. Well, maybe the other six are, she wouldnt know since shes too scared, embarassed and shy to even look up to their attractive faces, but she can definitely say that Kim Taehyung is the opposite of nice and friendly.

Making sure that Y/N got into trouble every single day seems to be his life mission every since she was assigned as his personal stylist. And incredibly, he even do it in various creative ways too. Saying the material is itchy minutes before stage, when it was perfectly okay during dress rehearsal, which resulted to Y/N needing to whipped out a whole new outfit for him in no time at all, which of course, got her into trouble when the last minute clothes doesnt fit the concept or doesnt match the others, purposely broke a zipper and ripped a button, coming in late for fittings and so many other ways that Y/N cant even understand how he can even come up with it. If only he puts his creativity into making an album and not on ways to get her into trouble, Y/N is sure he will have about 10 solo albums by now.

Like today for instance, Taehyung said his pants for the Idol music shoot is ripped when he received it, resulting in him wearing black pants while the other members wear a matching head to toe suit. No matter how hard Y/N tries to defend herself, saying the pants are perfectly fine when she gave it to him, of course people would believe their darling Kim Taehyung rather than the inexperienced new junior stylist, which resulted in her being stuck in the wardrobe storage room, assigned to reorganized all seven years of BTS' stage costume, according to the month, year and members. Thanks to the devil, Y/N missed her train to go back to her hometown, and she cant even afford to buy another one. So here she is, alone in the wardrobe storage room, hanging up their costumes by dates, and all the while cursing Kim Taehyung.

/////

"Oh, how come you are ready early today Tae?" Hoseok looks up from his stylist who is fussing over his shirt to Taehyung who is already impeccably dress.

"I finally had a professional stylist helping me today," Taehyung huffed. "For once, I finally know what it feels like to be ready on time and not have a stylist that makes stupid petty mistakes,"

"No Y/N today?" Hoseok immediately gets what the younger man is babbling about. Its no secret between the seven of them that Taehyung has an issue with the new junior stylist. Taehyung might call it hate, but the other six boys sees something else blooming instead. They just hope Taehyung would see it soon too.

"Off to go back to her hometown or something. I dont really care," Taehyung answered, trying to be nonchalant, making Hoseok lets out a hearty laugh.

"Tae, you of all people know that she didnt make any mistakes. You were the one who purposely created those mistakes for her," Hoseok stated out. Taehyung gasps, pretending as if he is offended that his hyung would accused him of such a thing.

"I did no such thing!" He placed a hand on his chest. "And whose side are you on hyung? You are supposed to be on mine!" Taehyung glares as Hoseok's stylist finishes fussing over his outfit and walks away, not bothering to listen more of their quarrel.

"I'm on the side on love Tae," Hoseok mocks and laughs as he walks away towards the stage. "Loveeee,"

Taehyung huffed. Love? Him? Even worse, him and Y/N?! Not until hell freezes over. Even then, he is still sure it wouldnt happen. Okay, Taehyung is at least man enough to admit to himself, and definitely nobody else, that he did do it on purpose, making life hard for Y/N. But what he himself dont know is why.

Taehyung would like to think its because of hate. But he doesnt hate Y/N. He doesnt have a reason to. They barely exchanged a few words with each other. Annoying? Well maybe. But not in the term of her attitude or anything. It just bothers him how Y/N seems so unaffected working by his side. She didnt even spare him a glance or gave him a look that lingered too long. Hell, she didnt even talk to him unless its absolutely neccessary. It shouldnt bother him,really. He has millions other girls who would willingly be at his beck and call, but from the first moment he saw Y/N bowing excitedly to the managers on her first day, he has set his eyes on her. And it just annoys him to no end that she didnt seem fazed or interested in his presence at all. So annoyance slowly grew into something more and Taehyung is just sure that he hates her now.

At least he hope it is.

Taehyung, all clean and fresh from his shower packs up his bag from the practice room and trotted out of the building. Why is it their cheographer likes to schedule a dance practice after a music stage? Taehyung is exhausted, cranky and definitely hungry right now and all the other boys has went home first, not bothering to wait for him to shower. He picks up his bag and puts on his mask before making the short walk to his favorite restaurant near the company to get some take out and head back to the dorm. He asked his managers to let him be alone today. Sometimes a busy idol needs his personal time too and an evening walk to get some air sounds good to him right now.

He passed by a small street vendor selling tteokbokki along his way. The small shop has been there for years,even before any of them were trainees, and they have never been there again after they debuted and fame catch up with them. Taehyung miss going there but now he just doesnt have a reason to. He used to try to bring one of the girls he casually dated there, but she scrunched her nose and without feeling even a bit guilty or shame asks him "Shouldnt a successful idol like you bring me to 6 star restaurant or something?" Well, lets just say Taehyung did bring her to one of those pretentious restaurant that serves too expensive meals that evening. She was happy, and he was happy too when he spent the night tangling with her between her sheets later that night, and he was definitely happier when he told her it was over while he buttoned back up his shirt after hes done and make his way out of her house, never looking back.

He would usually just pass by, not because he is afraid the customers would recognized him. People who eat there usually dont even give him a glance. But something just caught his eyes today.

Is that Y/N?

What is she doing here? Shouldnt she be back in her hometown or something? Wait, not that he cares. Right? But just as if hes been pulled by a magnetic force, he walks into the small shop and take a seat at one of the back table, hidden. Taehyung reasons to himself that hes just hungry and its been a long time since he ate some street food anyway. Its just cravings. Coming here has nothing to do with Y/N. But why is he always looking at her table, well, he prefer to not think about that.

Nibbling on his rice cakes, his eyes never leaving hers. Watching as she ate and laughs at something shes doing on her phone. Is she texting someone? A boyfriend? A friend? Not that he cares, just a close observation. He watch her smile and talk to the shop owner and some of the old man who are regulars at the store. Shes sounds friendly, polite and it seems she knows how to talk to older people. Taehyung is certain that his eomma and appa would love her if he take her home.

Wait. Where did that thought came from? Taehyung shakes his head, deleting that horrible imagination. There is no way he is introducing her to anybody.

His body reacted automatically. Leaving a handful of won bills on the table and walked a few metres behind her as she said her goodbyes and leave the shop. His hatred for her must have turned him into a stalker, he told himself. He followed her closely and he found himself smiling as he watch her help an old man crossing a busy road. Its hard to find young girls who volunteerily do that nowadays. He saw her skipped along happily on her way to wherever it is shes going, giving a won bill to every beggar she sees. Its obvious she does this everyday as the old beggars seems to be familiar with her. Then she walks into a convenience store and take one cup noodle and a small packet of food,Taehyung cant be sure what. He hides himself between the shelves as she pays and saw how shes counting her shilings from her pocket, sighing.

He scrunched his nose. Doesnt the company pay her enough?

Still curious and becoming more fascinated by what Y/N could possibly be doing, he followed her again until she stops at a secluded part of a park and crouched down. What the hell is she doing now? Is she someone weird? What is she knows hes following her and shes some kind of a mass murderer thats just luring him in? No way. He is too handsome to die. Y/N started to make a weird sound as in calling someone, or something, Taehyung cant be sure, breaking his horrible thoughts. a After a few minutes of making the strange sound, the bush rustles and a small dirty looking, buy certainly adorable dog came running out from the bush, tails wagging.

Y/N yelp happily when the dog jumped on her and patted its head lovingly.

"Taetae-ah, I'm here. I know I said I wont be here for a few days but I miss my train," she pouts at the dog, which oddly Taehyung found to be extremely cute. "That devil make me miss my train. Aish, I shouldnt have named u after that devil. You are too adorable. He is more of a dog than you ever will be,"

Taehyung chuckle to himself as he comes to a realization from what shes saying. Did she seriously named that stray dog after him? Furthermore, after his cute nickname? And the devil? Is that supposed to be him? She thinks of him as a devil? Is it weird he didnt feel angry at that? Worse, is it weird that he finds this whole thing cutely amusing?

"He purposely made me get punished again. Pd- nim was furious. He cut my allowance and made me come back at 6 am last night," she sighed and keep telling the dog her feelings while petting its head as the dog keeps eating the treat she gave him. "You are my only friend who will listen to me Taetae," Y/N sighed. "I dont have enough money to replace the ticket so I have to tell eomma I couldnt come back for her birthday and she sounded so upset. I hope she wont be mad at me for long. I'm sorry Taetae-ah, but this is all I could give you, I will work hard to earn more money so I can give you more delicious food," she smiles at the dog although it obviously couldnt understand her. "Lets just hope the devil wont make my allowance got cut anymore. Or worse, get me fired," With that, she stands up and clean her bottom from dust and say goodbye to the dog, promising she will come again the next day.

Taehyung was both fascinated speechless. Fascinated by what he just sees. And speechless by what he just heard. Did he really caused all that?

/////

Things changed after that. Well, not so much since Taehyung still make Y/N's life a living hell. But he would usually excuse himself to get go back home without the boys and followed Y/N. She did the same routine everyday, apparently. Stops by the tteokbokki shop to say hello, which he notice she doesnt eat everyday at, which most probably caused by her lack of income, help the old man cross the road, give some food or change to the beggars, went to the convenience store to get a cup of noodles and dog food and feed Taetae the stray dog.

Its nothing interesting really, just the same thing every day but Taehyung keeps on following her. He actually had fun watching her. Because even after the hell he put her through at work, she will still smile happily and skipped her way down the road. She will then tell about her day to Taetae and as he hides hinself behid the big trees in the park, Taehyung cant help but feels like shes talking to him. Afterall, she did name the dog after him. That must have mean something.

"So thats the concept for this dance. I think you will do a great job in picking out their outfits," Jong Soo, the cheographer that just seems to hate Taehyung very much, always picking on him when Jin is obviously the one doing the wrong moves, tells Y/N. Well, more like flirting with her, with the sly smile and occassional arm touch, and the way he leans against the wall seductively, Taehyung feels like barfing. It annoys him more that Y/N actually giggles as a respond.

Giggles!

As if what the man is saying is even funny!

"Yeah. Me and the other stylist unnie has some ideas. I just came here to see what exactly are the dance moves," she beams at him.

"You wont be working late tonight right?" Jong Soo gave her a flirtatious smile that makes Taehyung fumed.

"No. Dont worry," she giggles some more. "I'll be on time today,"

"Great. I'll pick you up at 8 alright?" Jong Soo winks and turns back to Hoseok and Jimin, discussing further on the cheography. Taehyung pull his ears, making sure he heard it right. Did Y/N just implied that those two are going out together tonight? Like on a date?! He smirks, an idea rapidly emerging in his head.

Sorry Jong Soo, but Y/N is going to be late tonight.

/////

"Do you know how expensive this is? This is Gucci! GUCCI! Does your simple minded mind even know what Gucci is?!" The senior stylist yelled out at Y/N, steaming with fury as she lifted up the suit jacket that has been quite obviously torn.

"B-but I didnt do it. It was perfectly fine when I put it on Taehyung," Y/N tried to defend herself using whatever courage she has left in front of her fuming supervisor, eyes already glassy with unshed tears. One more scream and Y/N is sure she will burst out crying. Her supervisor huffed.

"Its always wasnt you isnt it? Then whose fault it is? Taehyung?! Why would he ripped his own clothes? Explain to me then!"

"I-I..." Y/N blinked rapidly at the woman in front of her. How can she explained it to her? That Taehyung has an unexplained hatred towards her and he simply does it for his sick enjoyment in seeing her suffer? No one would ever believed it. Not when Kim Taehyung is giving them his big innocent puppy eyes look. Oh please, Y/N knew better. He can fool the others, but not her. She can see his devil horns and pitchfork anytime, that stupid monster from hell. "I really didnt do it..." Y/N mumble in a small voice.

"I dont know what to say Y/N. You have made the same mistakes countless times. Over and over again I gave you a chance. I thought the allowance cut and punishments are enough but apparently it doesnt. I have to report you to the PD. I'm sorry,"

"No please no unnie. I swear I didnt do it! And please. I'll make it right. I-I will come out with another outfit in time for the shoot. Please!" Y/N bowed and begged. If her supervisor report her to the PD, she will lose her job for sure.

"I'm sorry but this mistake is too severe Y/N. This is a sponsored Gucci suit for an advertisement endorsement that Taehyung has to shoot. Theres no such thing as coming out with a new outfit. We need to inform Gucci and apologized. The shoot will be delayed until they sent us a new suit. Do you even know how much trouble you are in?" She huffed. "Stay over at the company tonight and help the makeup artist's unnies to clean their makeup brushes and anything else they need help with, and I dont want to hear any complaints from you," She looks at Y/N before she could even say a word. She can say goodbye to her date with Jong Soo. "You should be lucky this is the only punishment for you and pray that the PD wont ask you to pay back for the ripped suit. I'm really sorry Y/N," her supervisor shot her a sympathetic glanced and walks out, leaving Y/N sniffling alone on the floor.

Y/N was not given anymore styling job for the next two days, only petty things like ironing the discarded clothes or organizing the boys' wardrobe after they are done using it. Y/N knows her days as a stylist at the company are numbered. She can feel it. And true enough, at the end of that second day, she was asked to pack her things and leave the company in 24 hours notice. Too tired to even argue anymore, Y/N nodded and packed her things, but not before stalking off in the practice's room direction where she is going to give Kim Taehyung a piece of her mind.

/////

Taehyung doesnt feel so good. He felt dizzy and extremely exhausted. He is not sure if its because of overworking or he is having a damn fever. He is alone in the practice room, trying to do a few more rounds of that one particular move that he just doesnt seem to get right. He needs to ace it before that bloody Jong Soo gets on his ass again. Trying to overcome his dizziness, Taehyung stand up and get into position, but before he can replay the music, Y/N stormed in.

He wanted to smile at the sight of her but quickly caught himself and puts on his cocky expression instead.

"What are you doing here? This is a practice room and last I check you are just a stylist and stylist dont belong here," he said smugly, not even looking at her direction. Y/N sent him a death glare that he can clearly felt on his back.

"Well, lucky for me that I'm no longer a stylist then,"

Taehyung felt his heart beats faster. What does she meant by that? Did she get fired? Did she quit? Whats going on? But instead of asking what his heart wanted to know, he pushed his curiosity aside and let his ego and pride takes over.

"Oh thank god. Thats good news!" He smirked, gesturing his hand in a grateful manner. "Just between us, you are not a very good stylist. You know, with the ripping and broken zipper and getting your artist late and what not,"

"All of that is not my fault and you know it!" Y/N screamed out. How can this man be so shameless and just pure evil? "I swear! One day people will know that its you who did it!"

"Really now? And who's going to tell all this people? You?" Taehyung lets out a loud sarcastic laugh. "You can try sweetheart but no one will ever believe you,"

"I just didnt think that you would be such an asshole!" Y/N yelled, tears already prickling her eyes.

"An asshole?" Taehyung scoffed and smirks at her. "What big words coming out from a pathethic little girl. I've been called way worse than that sweetheart," he looks at her with eyes full of disgust.

"And thats something to be proud of?" Its Y/N's turn to scoff. "To be called something worse? What kind of a man are you?!"

"A handsome, popular, most sought after one. Definitely better than someone like you," he smirks. "Got any problem with that?"

"What the hell is your problem? Do you even hear yourself right now?! I understand that maybe your conceited ego is blocking you to see the real world around you, but what is your problem with me?! What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so? Why do you feel the need to make my life suffer?" Y/N's chest is heaving up and down heavily from anger, angry tears are already rolling down her cheeks. Seeing her cry did something to Taehyung's heart, but right before he can even answer her, his severe dizziness took over and he fainted onto the groud.

Panic at the sight of the idol fainting in front of her, Y/N come to her senses and tries to get him back to conciousness but failed miserably. He is not dead right? And he is not dead because of her right? Y/N placed his fingers under her nose to checked if he is still breathing and felt relieved wjen his warm breath hits her fingers. She quickly helps him up and place his head on her lap and thats when she realized that his temperature is above the roof, indicating a high fever. After a few minutes of wiping his face with a wet cloth, Taehyung seem to stir but doesnt seem to be able to make out any coherent words. The building is already empty by now and Y/N doesnt know the number of any of the members or their managers. She doesnt even know where his dorm is located at and calling her supervisor is out of the question. They will just assume she did something to Taehyung, seeing how hard she tries to blame him the moment before she got fired. Y/N doesnt know what to do and she surely cant just leave him here to stay the night. So she did the only thing she can think of, take him back to her apartment.

/////

"Mhmm Y/N?" Taehyung stirred in his sleep after Y/N puts him in bed with a warm blanket over him. Y/N take a good look at his face. Is he dreaming? His eyes are closed but he called out her name didnt he?

"T-tae? Are you awake? Can you hear me? You have a high fever. But I'm going to help you alright,"

"Y/N mhhmm. Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Y/N," he keeps mumbling but Y/N cant be sure if she heard him correctly. "I am sorry for hurting you. Never meant to mhhm,"

"Shh Tae its okay. You need your rest alright," Y/N pulls the blanket up to his neck again and continue to put the wet cloth on his forehead, trying her best to ensure he fell asleep.

"L-love you,"

"W-what?" Y/N eyes widen. No way. Taehyung must really be out from his mind. He must think she is someone else. Yes, that must be it. Y/N tries to ignore it and continues to take care of him although her increasing heart beat never seem to be able to calm down. Especially when Taehyung repeated himself, loud and clear.

"I love you Y/N,"

/////

Y/N stayed up all night after Taehyung passed out, trying to nurse him back to health. She did everything she can to lower down his temperature and by the time the dawn breaks Y/N fell asleep in pure exhaustion at his bedside and Taehyung's fever has left him entirely.

Taehyung open his eyes slowly once the bright sunlight reached his eyes. As he blinks rapidly and trying to take in the room around him, he panics. Everything seems unfamiliar. Where is he? He quickly looks around and found Y/N curled in a ball on the floor beside the bed.

Y/N? What is she doing here? Why is she here? He cant remember anything that happened last night. The last thing he remembers is they were arguing in his practice room.

The sound of the bed rustling and Taehyung trying to get out of bed as fast as he can woke Y/N's exhausted form up from her uncomfortable sleep. With sleepy eyes she looks at Taehyung and flashed him a small, tired smile.

"Oh you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?!" Taehyung glares at her. "Why are you here with me in this room!?"

Y/N was taken aback. His confession last night is still making her confused and anxious at the same time, and she had wanted to ask him about it today. She didnt think he would really love her, but maybe his confession means some kind of affection and they can atleast be friends now? But why is he back to the old Kim Taehyung? Could it be... that he doesnt remember?

"Y-you fainted last night. Due to a very high fever. So I-"

"Take me home to your house?"

"Y-yeah. I dont know what else to do," Y/N takes a step backwards, scared of his glaring eyes. Y/N knew she didnt do anything wrong. In fact, she should be furious that Taehyung is not down on his knees saying thanks right now but the man is so intimidating it scares her to the core.

"And you think I would believe that?" He scoffed. Y/N furrowed her brows. What is Taehyung saying? Wait.. he cant mean...

"You are not implying what I think you are implying, right Kim Taehyung?"

"If by that you mean I'm implying that you are taking advantage of me and my status by bringing me home to gain some kind of cheap publicity, then yes. Thats exactly what I'm implying!"

"I cant believe you!" Y/N yelled out, tears once again prickling her eyes. How can this conceited man even for one second think that about her? At that moment Taehyung's phone beeped at he scoffed as he scroll at the content of the message he just received.

"Yeah? You think I dont know how girls like you work?" He growls.

"Girls like me? What do you mean y that?!"

"Your kind applied for a job at some entertainment company, then you will try to make one of us falls in love with you and when you dont succeed, you start to get creative and do this kind of shit. Right?"

"How do you even came up with all of this? What are you even talking about?!" Y/N is frustrated now. How can she get through that thick skull of his and make him see that she doesnt have any othe rintention than just helping him. Which seems to be a big mistake in from her part. She should have just left him in the practice room.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Taehyung shoved his phone, the message he just received shone in front of her face to be read. To her horror, its a snippet of an article that is clipped together with a photo of Y/N helping Taehyung up the stairs of her apartment. Apparently someone saw her last night, although she has tried to be extremely careful, and the rumors are already ciculating that she is his secret girlfriend.

"Congratulations, you got the publicity that you wanted! But trust me on this, I wont just stand idly by and let you get away with this. You will pay for this rumor," with that Taehyung walked out from the apartment, slamming the door shut, not once looking back.

Y/N finally found out what he meant by her paying for the rumor two days later when the company release an official statement. Taehyung finally commented that Y/N is definitely not his girlfriend and she is just some ex staff who got fired and took advantage of him by bringing him home in his unconcious state. Its a lie alright, but it doesnt sound so bad right? Well, maybe for someone normal. But when that kind of statement comes out from a world wide popular idol with a gazillion of girls protecting him, it became dangerous. Real dangerous. And Y/N has no where and no one to protect her from the crazy fans chasing her for "attacking and taking advantage of their oppa".

After the first assault from his crazy fangirls that she encountered at the supermarket that leads to her to being pushed and scraped her knees to the point of heavy bleeding, Y/N decided to stay home as much as she can. But for how long can she stay that way? Especially with the craziness of his fangirls that doesnt seem to die down. Y/N have to go out and look for a new job. She needs to buy her groceries. She needs to live. So as an attempt to save herself, she make her way one more time to the company, trying to figure out what to say once she sees Taehyung and the PD. She will beg if she have to. She will do anything and promise to dissappear from the company and Taehyung's life, if they agree to help stop the torment of his fans on her life. But going to the company is a huge mistake on her part, because she forgot that there are always many fans that gathers in front of the building, hoping to atleast catch a glimpse of the boys and just one look at her, all of them rushes over, fuming and angry.

Y/N didnt have the chance to turn back and ran away. Hell, she didnt even have the chance to breathe before she was attacked..hair being pulled, body being beaten, scratched, scream at and clothes being ripped apart. Her face is swollen and sore, bleeding from places that she dont even know and she cant think straight anymore as her vision starts to blurred.

The last thing she remembered was being pushed to the middle of the road and something huge and black might have hit her and she felt pain. So much pain, before a voice that scarily sounds like Taehyung yelled out her name.

Maybe she truly has died and went to hell.

/////

"Arent these fans tired of waiting for us in front of the company?" Namjoon peeks his head through the tinted windows as their black van approaches the company. They are back after recording a music show and the boys are all exhausted and just cant wait to go back to the dorm and sleep. Their manager who is sitting besides him in the driver's seat chuckles.

"Well Joon, they are the one- what the hell is that?!" He stepped on the breaks out of the sudden, making all seven boys who are sleeping, with the exception of Namjoon, slammed forward in their seat.

"Ouch hyung! Whats happening?" Jungkook rubbed his head and yawns, looking around. "Are we back yet?"

"Shit hyung. D-did you hit a person? A fan?" Hoseok panics.

"Who the hell couldnt see a big van passing through and just crossed the road like that?!" Their manager panics too and starts opening the door to check. Jimin and Taehyung looks around from the window at the other fans who are gathered and smirking at the thing, or person, they still dont know for sure, thats lying on the streets in front of the van.

"Uh.. why do I get the feeling that whoever thats lying there is not an accident and is thrown in front of the van?" Jimin gulp nervously.

"What do you mean Chim? Did a sasseang do this?" Jin is curious, trying to peek his head. Namjoon who is still frozen at the front seat finally lean forward to see whats going on, hoping that its not a dead body thats hes going to see.

"Oh fuck,"

"What Joonie?" Yoongi asks curious.

"We did hit a person," Namjoon gulps. "Its that... that girl. I dont know her name. But its that stylist that Taehyung hate,"

"Y/N?!"

Without waiting and not caring if the fans will see and crowds him or not, Taehyung jumped out from the van.

"Y/N!"

/////

"O-oww," Y/N tried to move her body but she cant. Everything hurts, and the blinding white light of the room is not helping at all. If this is heaven, its not as beautiful as people imagined it to be. And it smell like steriled tools and medicine.

"Dont move. It will hurt more,"

And the angel's voice sounds like Kim Taehyung. Maybe shes in hell and not heaven. Yes, thats definitely it.

"Where am I? Am I dead?" She asks. Taehyung chuckles at her cuteness.

"Fortunately you are not. You are in a hospital. Y/N.. you have been attacked by uh.. my.. uh fans..." Taehyung looks down in sadness and guilt. "D-do you remember any of it?"

"Y-yeah," she tries to nod but it hurts too much. "A little bit but what I can remember most is feeling pain. So much pain,"

"I'm sorry Y/N," Taehyung's voice is soft. Is he crying? The cocky, conceited Kim Taehyung is crying?

"W-why are you here Tae?"

Taehyung knows this is not an ideal situation but he cant help but feels happy when Y/N calls him Tae.

"I-uh, Y/N.. your leg is broken and one of your arms are broken too. You broke a rib, there are cuts all over your body and your face is destroyed which will take weeks to fully heal. I cant just leave you alone! We wanted to call your mother but we dont know her details. Can you give her number to me?" He explained to her softly. It kills him inside to see her like this. Broken. Emotionally and physically broken. All because of him.

"No! Uh.. please dont call her. I dont want her to worry," she begged.

"Alright Y/N. Then I wont call her. Which means you leave me no choice but to let me take care of you," Taehyumg grinned, making Y/N uncomfortable.

"M-must it be you? I can take care of myself. A-and can you transfer me to a normal hospital room? I cant afford this," she might not be able to move, but even from what she can see, this is a private VIP hospital room and she definitely cant afford that.

"First of all Y/N, its my fault that you are hurt. So I'm going to nurse you back to health, whether you like it or not. And second, dont worry about anything. I'll make sure you will received the best treatment and care there is. Alright? " he smiles warmly at her and Y/N has no more room to protest.

For the one whole time that Y/N is required to stay in the hospital, Taehyung never left her side. He feeds her, helps her to go to the bathroom, talks to her, sing to her, read to her and makes her laugh. He did everything he could and Y/N sometimes couldnt believe that this is the same Taehyung she knows from before. After two weeks, Y/N is finally allowed to go back home and of course, Taehyung asks his manager to send them to her house and he helps her settles in.

"I'm okay now Tae. Thanks for everything. You can go now," she bowed from her wheelchair and smile. Taehyung looks at her funny.

"Uh no?" He sits down on her couch and make himself comfortable. "Do you think I would leave you alone and helpless? I will be here everyday at early morning when you wake up and only leave when you are sound asleep. Until you are capable of doing things on your own, thats what I'm going to do. And no, you cant protest," he grins before Y/N could have said anything.

So that is what exactly Taehyumg did for the next two months. He came in early in the morning with breakfast in hand, using the spare key he shamelessly made for himself. Feeds her, helps her washed up, clean her house, did her laundry, buying her groceries, cook, which he is very bad at, reads to her and just talking to her, making her laugh all day. Y/N has started to get used to his presence now and learned that, when he wants to be, he is actually nice and fun to be around. Hes funny, entertaining, smart and sweet all rolled into one. If only it didnt take all this for him to show her his true colors.

As he spent more days with Y/N, Taehyung realized that the feelings he has for her is definitely not hate. He still doesmt know what it is, but definitely, definitely not hate. He loves spending time with her. All the little quirks he learns about her is making him more interested in her, and the best part of his day now, other than spending time with Y/N of course, is doing her chores of helping the same old man he saw before cross the road, drop one won bill each to the beggars and feeds Taetae, which Y/N accidentally told the name of the dog to him with a hard blush. It amazes him how even in her condition,she stills wants to help others. She still wants to buy the dog food and give the beggars whatever change she has although she herself has little to none. Taehyung has never known anyone like her, and every single day his heart blooms just from seeing her face or even hearing her name.

He realized now. Hoseok was right. He is in love. He is in love with Y/N. But he realized it too late because Y/N is finally capable of standing up and walking, although still toddling, and told him that he doesnt need to come by anymore.

Y/N doesnt need him anymore.

/////

"What are you doing here Taehyung?" Y/N looks at him weirdly as she opens the door to see Kim Taehyung standing nervously at the door, holding a bouquet of flowers tight in his grasp. "Did you forget that you dont need to come anymore?" She smiles. He has been coming over for more than two months now. Maybe he forgot that he doesnt need to come anymore. "You dont have to come anymore Tae. Thanks for everything Taehyung. I guess I'll see you when I see you okay?" She bowed and starts to close the door and Taehyung quickly pushed the door back open, surprising her.

"Do you need anything?" She looks at him, brows furrowed. Taehyung looks at her face. Her pretty, pretty face. How can he not notice it before? After taking a nervous gulp he opens his mouth.

"Y-you,"

"Excuse me?"

"Y-you. You Y/N. You asked me if I need anything and I know the answer to that now. I need you. You are the missing piece that I need in my life," he fiddled with the stem of the flowers he is holding.

"Huh?" Y/N looks at him with a confused face before it turns into a smile. "Ahh, you are making fun of me again. One last time?" She giggles. "Good one Taehyung. But you should have gone with something else. I would never believe you will like me but nice try though," she nods and push the door close again but Taehyung kept it open with his strength and pushed himself inside.

"I-I know its going to be hard to believe. I-I mean I wouldnt believe me either if I were you. But I'm serious Y/N. I'm dead serious. I-I want to try with you," he stuttered his words out.

"Try? Try what? What do you mean?"

"T-try to be your boyfriend,"

"B-boyfriend?" Y/N's eyes turns wide. "You should stop it Taehyung. I already know this is a joke Its not funny anymore," her face turns into despair and Taehyung panics when he sees her eyes are starting to get wet.

"I'm not kidding!" He placed down the flowers and held both of her hand in his, clasping it tight. "I knew now why I was so mean to you before. Why I make your life a living hell. No, not now. I have known it for quite some time but I'm just too stupid, cocky and conceited to admit to it," he peeks into her eyes. "Y/N, you have captured my eyes, and heart, the moment we first met way back and I was too over my head to accept the fact that you are unfazed by me. I got angry, and then I got jealous at how you can seem to live your life normally and happily without me. So, I start acting mean to you. I need to be on your mind, in your life. In any way that I can, even if its in a bad way. I did all that so that you will always remember me. In some ways it did work, you did think of me all the time, but in a bad, bad way,"

Y/N is speechless.

"I know its stupid. Idiotic. Childish at its best. But Y/N, after everything we have been through and after all the opportunities you gave me so I can get to know you, I am not afraid anymore. I realized I should have just come forward and said it. I should have try to win your heart by treating you the way you deserve, like a queen. I'm sorry Y/N,"

"I-I..."

"Its okay. You dont have to decide now. But please, please dont kick me out from your life. Let me be with you. Y/N... I love you," Taehyung finally have the courage to say how he really feels.

The air was filled with silence for a few moment, Taehyung nervously gulped as he waits for her reply. After a long excuriating wait, Y/N finally answers.

"N-no. This cant be true. You hated me! A-and I hated you!" Y/N took a step back from him and Taehyung smiles. From her answers he can already tell that he has managed to penetrate through her heart. He takes a step forward to her and gave her his signature smile.

"You dont hate me Y/N,"

"I-I do. I really hate you. You put me through hell! I hate you Kim Taehyung!"

"Do you really?" He cocked his head and grins. "It doesnt matter, because Y/N. I love you,"

"I-I,"

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you and I love you L/N Y/N,"he smiles. "And I will do whatever it takes to make it right again. To make you believe me,"

"Y-you are not lying Tae?"

"Y/N... I cant stop thinking about you. Your face is all I can see when I close my eyes. Your voice is all I can hear. Just being near you makes me happy. Heck, just hearing your name is enough to make my day. I will give up everything for you. I will take care of you. I will help you get back your job. I will make sure you no longer have to eat only cup noodles. I will buy you all the tickets you need to go back home and see your mother. I would even drive you there Y/N. I will even introduce you to my parents. And lets adopt Taetae for real. He can be friends with Yeontan. Would I do all these if I'm not really in love with you Y/N?"

"Tae..." Y/N sniffles, a smile finally grazing her lips.

"So..." Taehyung hold her hands and rub the back with his thumbs. "Do you still hate me now?"

"People might say I'm stupid... but I... I love you Taehyung," she grins, and Taehyung was taken by surprise. Is this for real? D-did she confessed? "I have love you since we first met but I knew there is no way you would go for me. So I pushed it aside,"

"No!" Taehyung panics. "Uh I mean please dont. Dont push your feelings away. Please. I'm here now. I'm here to give you all my love Y/N. I promise. I promise you will be the happiest woman in the world," he takes her hand that he is still holding and kissed it. "Thank you Y/N. And we can go as slow as you want. As long as I still get to be by your side,"

Y/N nods. Her smile too big to be concealed anymore.

"Yeah. Lets do that. Lets rebuild back our relationship," her eyes looks at him lovingly. "And you dont have to do anything Taehyung. Hearing you say you love me? I'm already the happiest woman in the world,"

"Then, I will make you happy every single day. I love you L/N Y/N. So so much," he leans in close and cups her chin. "M-may I? Kiss you?"

Y/N nodded shyly.

And nothing could ever describe the feeling she felt when Taehyung finally touched his lips with hers. She fell in love with the devil, and it feels like heaven.

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