#its hard and i feel like im gonna explode
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr posted its first advertisements in May 2012 and subsequently earned $13M in revenue.
Text
guess who's getting over their 2+ year fp attachment
#its hard and i feel like im gonna explode#but it also feels like a weight has been lifted off of my chest
1 note
·
View note
Text
have this rly shitty dovewing i drew based on a spotted dove!!
#warrior cats#dovewing#spotted doves r the most common dove where i live !#they r . vry noisy lol#my hand is stillhurting even when i did some exercises beforehand ughhhhhh#its so hard getting back into the groove of drawing everything feels liek shit#whateverrrrrr im gonna go to be bed need to wake up at like 6 tmr :( no sleeping in i wanna explode
259 notes
·
View notes
Text
I literally can't stop thinking about this sequence of pictures, actually completely brainrotting me
#ever since i watched aus 2009 i cant stop scrolling back up in my gallery to stare at these#like pics that genuinely make me roll around on my bed and squeal#GAHHHHHH LIKE THE WAY SEB IS GRINNING UP AT AND HESITANTLY PLACING HIS HAND ON HIS CHEST#AND THEN JENSON NOTICES AND MY GOD THE WAY HES LOOKING AT HIM I CANT I CANT#THE WAY THEYRE SMILING AT ESCH OTHER IM GONNA LOSE IT#AND LOOK HOW HARD JENSE IS GRIPPING HIM GODDDDDDDD#like i really cant express in words how these make me feel its actually just *tv static noises*#i feel like im grinning so hard looking at these that im gonna explode#(also @grace if you see these: ive been reading solar flare lately and GOD YOURE SO RIGHT WHEN YOU REFERENCED IT)#(theres this part where mark says to jb that hes been looking up podium/press pics of them online)#(and that they look like theyre in love HE IS LITERALLY ME FRRRRRR LIKE IM GOING INSANE OVER IT)#(these pics brainrotted me before i started reading it but reading it has only made it 100x worse/better)#anyways i really really like 2009 sebson they're so endearing to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#ig its just smth about how theyre so affectionate with each other despite being each others rivals#like constantly patting/nudging/hugging each other IM GONNA CRYYYYY IM GONNA EXPLODEEEE#i put these pics in the comp i made if seb but like bcs of the magnitude to which they affect me i needed to make a posr for them#just imagine me wailing and losing my mind irl and in these tags sob sob sob#if i stay committed w watching races ill just keep on going to the end of the v8 era so dw my wailing can only get worse :D#every time i scroll up out of the tags to look at the pics again i feel my heart skipping a bit HDJFKGKGKGL#anyways unhinged wdym unhinged :)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#jenson button#jb22#sv5#sebson#2009 australian gp
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm sorry i'm being annoying about my trip but look at the view from my room in d.c.
#im just literally in awe#i never get to travel so this to me is... idk how yo explain it#just WAIT til i get to go to europe my mind is gonna explode#does it make sense though that i am loving it i also feel a little melancholic?#like im already thinking i miss it before ive even left#i have a bad habit of doing that its a little hard for me to enjoy the moment when im just dreading the end#anyhoo ill shut up we gotta find dinner im shaking
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bro I fucking LOVE Mavika
like her personality and shit SHE is awesome
but FUCK WHY COULDNT THEM MAKE HER WITH THE CORRECT SKIN TONE, LIKE
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
#this makes meSO FUCKING MAD#WHYY WHYY LIKE HELL WHY WOULDNT THEY PUT MELANIN IN HER BODY AND PUT ACTUAL EFFORT IN HER CLOTHES#SHE IS FUCKING COOL I LOVE HER AND WHEN I SEE HER STUPID ASS UP IN THE STUPID BIKE LIKE GJFKNFAKJ AAAAAAAAAAAAA#RAGE!! RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SHES COOL AS HELL AND THEY MADE HER WHITE AS FUCK AND SEXUALIZED THE F U C K OUT OF HER AND IM NOT EVEN GONNA LIE TO YOU!!!!!!!!!#IT FEELS EVEN MORE DISRESPECTFUL TO SEXUALIZE HER LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HELL TO MIHOYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I woke up with anger at this because i saw the way they put her in the bike and its like everything exploded#cuz honestly for hell Brynn (my oc) is so alike her in the way she is with her personality and as god of war and to see Mavika im just like#hell shes so cool what the hell i respect her ass fucking a lot actually!!!!#and to see everyone redesigns of her the more i see the more i become mad because mihoyo fucking ROBBED US WHY DID YOU MAKE HER WHITE#WHY DID YOU SEXUALIZE HER SO FUCKING MUCH#AND THEN I SEE THE STIGMA OF MAORI PEOPLE WITH BIKES AND IT GETS EVEN WORSE???????#AAAAAAAAAAAAA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#shaking in so pure anger i feel so robbed of mavika she couldve been so much more i want to hit people in mihoyo like fuck!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!#RANT#VENT#NATLAN#MIHOYO#YEAH!#IM ANGRY!!#Robbed we got robbed so fucking hard
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
HI JUST. SSENDING THIS IN QUICKLY
hi! so i’ve been staring at your art for like over a year now and just been being amazed by it and now i finally have a tumblr account so i wanted to send this in to say thank you!! your art was by far one of the hugest inspirations for me to keep working on my art and keep trying to get better and it also intensely fueled my bedman hyperfixation (which i still have) ^^ i would spend HOURS back in like april and may last year studying your art style and trying to figure out how to do poses and things like you did and i think it was one of the biggest steps that i took towards where my art has ended up today!
thank you for making all your gorgeous art!! it really encouraged me to keep trying with my art and studying and admiring your works helped me learn a lot! you’re super super cool, keep up the great work 🫶
HEY..!!! oh my god 😭💖💖 thank you so much!! this is one of the nicest things anyones said about my art Seriously i feel so touched right now 😭 im so happy…!!!
idek what to say i never thought someone would study my poses and such i always feel like my art is kind of stiff even when i put effort into it… i draw for fun so its not a big deal but sometimes im not happy with it… remember to always use references whenever you want (i never do this)
your art has developed so nicely into your own style also!! the poses are great and i love the facial expressions and coloring 🥺🥺 i can tell you work hard on it!! TYSM again for the message it really made my day!! lets both do our best to keep improving 💖💖
#IM LIKE.. STAND UP AND PACE AROUND MY ROOM TOUCHED BY THIS MESSAGE THANK YOU.. UUUUUU I FEEL LIKE CRYING (HAPPY)#SERIOUSLY i feel like a proud parent or somethting idk. except im not a parent im a hermit artist on tumblr.#THIS IS SO AWESOME im gonna explode. (happy)#IM SORRY.. I NEVER POST ANYMORE.. my own motivation has left me 😔😭 its hard but ill keep working hard too#i am also still in the bedman hyperfixation trenches btw LOL like 2 and a half years later#THANK UUU SO MUCH AGAIN! AND AGAIN! i forget that people perceive me online this made me smile happy joy
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
blah blah blah blah blah
#i have real thoughts rn i am just so overwhelmed with feeling that this is all that can come out#tldr: i wish i could just spend my time traveling and treating women how they Deserve to be treated (well. loved)#thinking about how many people i see who are so deeply sad#thinking about how many ppl ive had a positive impact on even if we ended on terrible terms#thinking about how many more people i could help if i just had the resources ....#thinking about how fucked the psychiatric industry is and how so many therapists suck#thinking about how i actually love being the mommy therapist friend a lot of the time and my limits surrounding that really just come from-#-the fact i Dont have the resources to do this for everyone bc i also have to manage other things in life and work and such#thinking about how if i could i would actually do free emotional labor like. all the time.#thinking about how much it sucks i cant do this#thinking about how much i want to hold every sad girl i see on my dash and let them cry into my arms until they cant anymore#thinking about how much i love my friends#thinking about how much I love...... everyone i meet#not in the like Romantic way but in the “oh hello. you crossed my path. i love you. i love you. i love you. thank you for being alive” way#thinking about all the people who have harmed me and how i Still feel so much love for all of them#thinking of the strangers who have been both rude and kind to me and how much i think of them. how deeply i hope they're still alive.#it..... hurts to love this much ngl#but pushing it down feels worse and im full of this feeling of tender frustration????? because of it#i love that i have so many people who allow me to love them and love me in return#i want to reach through the screen and kiss every follower and mutual and person i follow on the forehead and tell them I love them#i wish i could express more love for people w/o them falling In love with me or being weirded out thinking im In Love w/ them....#i wish i could express better that its not that im aromantic but that i just have so much love at my baseline that its hard for me to-#-Fall in love unless we constantly are talking and communicating and like. working to that together without sounding like a jerk or like im+#+a saint. im not a saint. im not. i just love you. ):#ANYWAY sorry for all those feelings if i didnt get them out i was gonna explode#that also definitely wasnt really a tldr
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
One of the early signs of me being a dog was how when I was a kid I loved to bite popsicle sticks, but I didn't understand why. I didn't know I'm autistic and sensory seeking, but I did know that puppies love to bite things. So that was my explanation for why I loved doing is so much: my urge to bite was the same as dogs' urge to bite. I was just like them :3
#i still love stimming by biting stuff#and somtimes its literally like. if i dont bite something right now im going to explode#usually i go for like hoodie strings or necklaces or just straight up my fingers (but not like hard enough to hurt myself)#but my favorite thing to bite are juice boxes#because they feel nice between my teeth and i can just shred them to pieces#because theyre like cardboard#and it takes a long time to completely destroy a big juice box and its soooo satisfying its the best shit#anyway other thing that pointed to me being a puppy was how anytime i played pretend with other kids Id choose to be a dog 80% of the time#like if we played house or stuff like that. no i wont be the daughter or the mom im gonna be the family dog#or id play an animal-like character. anthro animal dragon shapeshifter stuff like that#i just always wanted to be like a dog and i was like a puppy. i was a puppy#silly stuff#therianposting#bee buzz
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
definitely not related to anything but how do you think Masato would view who he became in the present? I feel like he'd obv feel vindication for having fixed his fucked up body somewhat and gotten to the level of power he'd desired but at the same time i have to wonder if theres a lil bit of seething at aokis hypocrisy and sliminess (not that he's any better but i don't think he'd have the self awareness to get that oops)
GREAT QUESTION. ASTOUNDING QUESTION EVEN......
theres no doubt that masato wouldnt have any qualms about aoki yk. Succeeding and getting as far as he has
at the same time, i think because it's not him (as in. he's still 'stuck' with the self he has now) there'd be envy. like Yeah Thats Great He Gets That Eventually But Why Not Now kind of deal- and why'd it have to take All Of That to get it anyway ? unfair, he thinks. me thinks (╯▽╰ )
#snap chats#masato's a hypocrite at his core we know he woludn't really be 100% on board even with himself LOL#there might ALSO be case in masato hating just. how much of a worm aoki is LOL#like what aoki does he does majorly because he believes its what people want#he lives for the attention of the public and their approval as it validates him and makes him feel yk. Normal.#Son Your Normal Is Horrible But I Understand (You're Wack As Hell) but anyway#it wasnt as if masato didnt already have the seedlings of his ardent anti-crime ideals or however else you label it as#seeing the No Dumping Trash sign probably made his cope worse. tbh. yk he's super Anti-Crime now as a way to 'correct' that moment#and if not that it just solidified to himself how much of 'trash' 'masato arakawa' is right#but thats for the masato/aoki analysis ill save that for another year <- already wrote it#either way i think knowing how far and obsessive aoki is about everyones approval is like... Oh So You're A Worm LOL#idk. hard to say since i only know if i found out my future self became a politician i would kill him in cold blood LOLOLOL#ANYWAY ILL END IT THERE NOOOOO im normal i promise.....#im gonna go for a walk now before stream lol....#you should ask me more about masato and aoki and masato /and/ aoki cause :)))))))))))))) //explodes//
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#sometimes. most times. if i cant articulate things properly i feel like my heads gonna explode. which is unfortunate bc i have the#language is hard brain problems. my neurology makes articulation difficult. but i try reguardless. which is sometimes. most times.#exhausting. that words gets thrown around a lot when i describe the patterns of my thoughts. exhausting. and it is i guess. tho id say its#more annoying and frustrating. but maybe its also exhausting. hard to tell when its how u think. but ive been reading a lot of papers this#weekend. enjoying the papers i read. papers about photosynthesis at the edge of habitability. about genetis and the structure and functions#of proteins. and the learning curve is steep but im learning bit by bit. and it just sorta makes me sad bc the way that my brain works has#so damaged the way that i interact with the world and i can see it at every step of my academic career. i dont even kno what to say abt the#past 2 years of my life. from where i stand now its just a black hole of self destruction. y did i do that? i dunno. at the time i was just#following the arbitrary rules and restrictions laid out for me within my head. did these rules have a rational basis? no. not usually. but#thats how it had to be. exhausting. but even then i coukd sometimes see thru to the wonder. and it was agony bc i wasnt allowed to think#abt it. its still agony now but i can feel it more often. maybe that's what happiness is to me. to be so full of wonder that i cant take it#i cant exist in that state or id b nonfunctional. its too big for my chest. it makes me want to scream and weep and pull at my hair. and#and its maddening bc i cant articulate it properly. except to call upon media short hands. there is wonder here. a nightmarish description#but not always. sometimes it was beautiful. theres a reason ive read annihilati0n 5 times despite hating the book. theres a reason i rewatch#the terror nearly once a month. to find beauty in a thing that causes you such terror and pain. theres something about it i can't find the#words for and its driving me nuts. exhausting. but so it goes#unrelated
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling just every single kind of horrific now I’m literally living my nightmare and have no where to run anymore
#lost my home my escape from this place and now im forced back into this awful living situation in a horrible town#its taking a physical toll im dizzy my stomach hurts i cant sleep right im sweaty i cant breathe#its just not real like this just cant be real#i can hear them chewing through the walls and i want them to stop but i cant cover my ears cuz then im vulnerable#my curtains are gone everyone is watching me theres spies all over the town the all report to each other#nagging nagging nagging because my god im so incompetent i cant even make a phone call#ive literally procrastinated rescheduling a very important doctor appointment for 2 weeks now cuz i literally cannot remember to do it#if i run away itll be pointless cuz theyll just find me and bring me back here#i would do anything just to cry and sob cuz then id get to feel better but my body wont let me im like emotionally constipated#ive been for who knows how fucking long#my father tells me that i need to overcome my autism and that im just not trying hard enough and that i need to talk to jesus#i dont love anything here i cant be bothered to try#and the ‘support’ i get is just. a cheap way of forcing me in#im gonna explode im seriously so uncomfortable so fed up so terrified so nauseous#its not even a dream this time but maybe it is but maybe it isnt i dont know i just punch the wall but never bleed#i want to breathe but its not working
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't even ship this but I can tell you guys are doing it wrong
#'i don't even ship this. he says. lying'#if i see one more get together fic im gonna just explode bc you dont get itttttttt#they are the slowest of slowburn and aren't even romantic it's moreso feeling completely comfortable with the other and learning to love l#them even when its hard even after everything that happened#its also like. their dynamic wouldn't really change even if they did start a relationship.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cute art/Fandom blogs im sorry for running a dark evil cringe sad aesthetic/vent blog and showing up in your notes I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorryyyyy
#paci.txt#my toxic trait is loving the cutest sweetest things and having the most desolate su1cidal thoughts ever all at once#like im SORRYYYYYY CUTE MY L1TTL3 P0NY BLOG IM NOT TRYING TO RUIN YOUR DAY JUST TAKE THE LIKE AND DONT LOOK IN HERE PLEASSEEEEE#i love your cute horses that bring me back to childhood happiness and peace but do noottttt look at who is looking at it#this is turning into one of those 'i feel like a happiness void no matter how hard i try to be nice and keep this stuff private irl' posts#my bad gonna stop explode scream crying in the tags like a baby bitch im cool#but to be clear this post isnt about anyone specific i follow its just. the feeling yk
0 notes
Text
they should invent a me that's good at everything i want to be good at. [thing from the addams family pokes out of a nearby box and hands me a piece of paper] thank you, thing. what's this...oh! why, it's a paper that says i have to be the one to do that for my future self! huh.
#bluebird.txt#post brought to you by IM FRUSTRATED AND ANNOYED BUT GRITTING MY TEETH AND KNOWING THAT I WILL NOT LET MYSELF FAIL IN THE LONG TERM#EVEN IF FUCK UP NOW YOU GOTTA FUCK UP A LOT BEFORE YOU GET ANYWHERE NEAR WHERE YOU WANNA BE#AND I'M DOING GREAT#AND ALSO I HAVE GENUINELY BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH HEALTH SHIT RECENTLY THAT I LEGITIMATELY WAS COMPLETELY UNABLE TO THINK OF#ALMOST ANYTHING SCHOOL RELATED AT ALL CAUSING ME TO FORGET MULTIPLE ASSIGNMENTS AND BE LATE TO A MIDTERM#AND IT SUCKS BUT SOMETIMES THERE REALLY IS A GOOD REASON FOR WHY YOU COULD NOT DO AS MYCH AS YOU WANTED#AND MAYBE YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO AS MUCH AS YOU WANT AT ONCE#BUT TAKE IT SLOWLY AND ONE DAY AT A TIME AND SOME DAYS YOU WILL FEEL LACKING BUT JUST THINK OF ALL#THE GOOD WORK YOU'VE ALREADY DONE#MORE WILL COME YOU WILL BE FINE#I AM FRUSTRATED NOW AND THAT IS FINE AND I AM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE IN MANY WAYS BUT I HAD A HEALTH SETBACK#THAT FORCED ME TO BE UNABLE TO DO SHIT I NEEDED TO DO AND NOW YOU SIMPLY JUST GOTTA GET BACK INTO IT#EVEN IF ITS SLOW AND EVEN IF YOU 'SHOULD' BE BETTER#SHOULD IS A BULLSHIT FUCKING WORD IN THIS CASE#YOU ARE. I AM. AND I WILL CONTINUE BEING. I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR AND ACTUALLY IT WILL NOT KILL ME.#I'M JUST GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR. AND THIS ORCHESTRA CYCLE. AND THEN I CAN GO ON VACATION. AND DO MENTAL PRACTICE.#AND MY BEST. AND YOUR BEST DOESN'T MEAN PERFECT OR EVEN THAT FOOD SOMETIMES IT JUST MEANS DO WHAT YOU CAN.#me when im taking it easy but taking it#sorry i gotta hype myself up cuz if i let myself feel bad about myself that's stupid and dumb and im better than that#if im not aggressively positive ill explode and my life will fall apart around me and i will NOT let myself be miserable again#last month was out of my control mostly. i will however not take 19 credits next semester!#girls when. RAAAGGGGGGHHHH RIPS OFF MY SHIRT I AM ALIVE AT LEAST AND THATS PRETTY COOL#me when i paused like seven times typing this to cough hard
1 note
·
View note
Text
Tired of reminding myself it's been tough year and it's ok to not feel good
#living with a friend's parents to get out of a seriously scary situation and also not have to move back with my parents#who live hours away and have none of my friends nearby#is fuckin weird and tough!!#and we still dont have our own place#we're gonna#but it's literally gonna be almost a year since move out before we get in there#and its been a year now since things officially went to shit#like yeah slow decline before that but shit exploded in December last year#and i feel awful rn#and have to keep reminding myself that that is so beyond reasonable#even if a lot of things are really good rn#and they are!!!#a lot is really hard and HAS been really hard#and im tired of it#i just wanna feel okayyyyyy
1 note
·
View note