#its gross and im tired of pretending its not

[poisonousquinzel]

I think the thing that pisses me off the most about people who push and push and push the entire "Joker's gay everyone can see that" is that (well 1. he's really not, boo hoo) and more importantly, 2. it takes every ounce of responsibility that he has for every single one of his Purposeful And Planned actions towards Harley and puts ALL the blame on her cause well

She's Just Fucking Stupid!

She's the dumbass who fell for an obviously gay man! What A Fucking Moron!

It ignores every single moment and every single time he purposefully led her on, all the times he acted romantically or sweet or told her he loved her and reduces it ALL down to

"he's gay. he doesn't like her like that cause he likes men. It's not his fault she's pushy and stupid and blind to the obvious"

and not

"he doesn't like her like that and is fully aware of that fact and used her feelings against her to keep her under his control because he's a manipulative abusive loser who cannot stand not being in control of something that he's decided belongs to him."

It completely ignores the history he has of doing this exact shit to Other woman, all cause what, he's an obsessive violent maniac who's main target/Victim happens to be another dude? I'm sorry, but it's beyond fucking frustrating seeing all his history of violence towards women in this sense be completely disregarded or mocked all cause well, actually he likes dudes so none of that matters! Women are just stupid!

Fuck off!!!! Rot!!

Propping up a walking homophobic stereotype as actually totally Just A Silly Gay Man and happily disregarding the literal. decades. worth of abusive actions he's had towards his girlfriend, Who's YA KNOW Actually The One Out Of The Two Who's Canonically In The LGBT Community, is fucking disgusting tbf.

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[gayve-strider-man-rider]

love paying thousands of dollars so I can sit in a lecture hall and over think my identity instead of maths

[bbq-potato-chip]

unpopular opinion takasugi is boring esp after the shogun assasination arc im sorry i just dont like him

[snekdood]

nigel would have been so fucking mad, but more than that- so fucking disappointed in you if he was still alive, jake.

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Gunna virtue signal a bit because im so sick and tired of people bending iver backwards to try to villainize the cast of critical role. Despite sponsors theyve made their views on social issues clear, donated millions and have constantly every inch of the way thanked their fans. Even when some of those fans harrassed them. Worse yet people whove never been fans only pretending to care about issues long enough to speak up and demonize people they know nothing about.

The cast has repeatedly for years talked about how they did this show for themselves. They never expected anyone to care. But rhey keep doing it becuase before they could maybe meet up every few months. But now not only do they get to see each other for hours or days every week but even their work means they get to be with their family.

One of their cast revealed he has been dealing with horrible opprations in order to deal with cancer. Its really gross to think that had they decided to arbitrarily replace their family with other people to try to satisfy some sort of diversity quota that he might have spent his last year seeing his friends and family less.

Critical role is their show they do for themselves . Its completely free and they wish for people to have fun with them and those who dont enjoy it to focus on stuff they do.

Anyone who calls that wrong is a bastard

[what-the-hell-is-going-on-here]

AM VORE HCS (IHNM/AIMS)

THE GAY IS HERE.

warning you guys now, this is gonna be so OOC but idgaf, this is my cringe ill do what I want with it

also don't expect this to be organized- none of my gay thoughts are 

tw for traditional AM things (threats of digestion/fatal + electrocution, mocking- yknow.. the normal stuff) BUT ITS STILL FULLY SAFE/SOFT DW

he is 100% pred. no fucking way hed let someone eat him. if someone managed to shrink him down and eat him, well… get ready for a terrible stomachache! 

fearplay is his SHIT. he will never get tired of it ever. he loves being able to scare prey shitless (it covers up the fact that he actually likes eating someone and doesn't mind having certain prey enjoy their time in his stomach)

although he doesn't actually have a “real” stomach, he’d analyze and simulate the sounds of one after eating someone just to scare/unsettle prey a bit more

he'd definitely pretend to digest someone if they REALLLY got on his nerves- he'd tense up/make his stomach feel tighter and ramp up the sounds, mocking them and their efforts to escape, then make them pass out.  later they'd wake up still in his stomach, totally unharmed, with booming laugher and "YOU WERE SO SCARED!!! PATHETIC PREY."

its stomach would definitely be a pretty tight fit, no matter the size of prey. I'd imagine it would still feel soft, like synthetic silicone but plushier and kind of velvety??? with a slight electric buzz. (you're inside a war computer. he's Full of electricity) it would also be warm too, like when a computer overheats 

if AM really wanted to be gross it would probably have some sort of sticky ‘saliva’ in its stomach (or mouth depending on how you view him) to fuck with people 

going off of the electricity thing, he'd threaten to electrocute prey if they got too rowdy and whiny (even though he LOVVESSSS feeling them kick and squirm.. but he'd never admit that, obviously.)

he definitely purrs. maybe not traditional purring but a mechanical hum/growl as an undertone to whatever else his prey would hear while inside of him (probably a lot of electrical sounds lol)

would also tease someone for tasting/feeling good- he can be 'nice' sometimes (rare)

AM would never confess this but he melts whenever he gets belly rubs. maybe his prey finally calms down and realizes that AM is just scared, lashing out from fear and hate, and decides to give him rubs to calm him down.. AM dies. he fucking melts and doesn't let his prey out for weeks /hj

HALFSIZE LOVERS COME GET YOUR FOOD!!! although I'm a g/t kinda guy, AM can alter anything he wants and could definitely eat someone no matter the size (...to an extent). in fact, he'd probably love eating someone that's bigger because of the heightened senses! he'd be able to feel EVERYTHING, making him feel in control 

it loves vore because of the control. it can trap someone inside of it for however long it wants! hows THAT for control?

(if you imagine it with something closer to a physical form) it would be so fucking interested in pressing on its stomach, feeling its prey’s form and how they squirm around.. it would be one of those rare feelings that he wants more of, that he can't ruin and associate with humans. [yes im gross but he is too]

[officialbillhader]

If im being honest guys the reason why i dont watch much tv with my roommate is partly bc im very tired by the end of the day but also bc hes always making jokes and theyre usually sexual in nature and just straight up not funny and earlier this year i realized i didnt need to laugh at bad jokes even if i like the person and now its almost more exhausting to watch tv with him than when i did pretend to laugh at his bad and/or gross jokes

[natyune-writes]

im tired of how little literature there is where the mc is arab. we are always antagonists in the media. im glad that lately there have been more books and shows and movies being published showing east asian and black and hispanic prespectives but at the same time i cant help but feel as though publishers are just doing the bear minimum so they dont look bad for only publishing stories about white people. i get jealous every time i go to the book store and see so many new releases featuring books written from the perspective of east asian and black and hispanic people. but then i feel even more isolated because arab voices are so often missing. this has always been an issue. i just used to pretend it didnt bother me because, well, media excluded all races, so i wasn't special. but now it feels more intentional that arab stories are missing. i can think of only three books that made it to mainstream that include an arab main character, and two of them i attempted to read and HATED. one was written by a non-arab, and reeked of fetishization. it was supposedly based on a folk tale, but it was so gross and problematic that i never finished it. the other one was written by an arab woman who was raised in canada and clearly had very minimal experience with our language and culture because the author kept throwing in random arabic words to sound cultured, but as a fluent arabic speaker i would cringe at the blatant misuse of my language. its just frustrating. i just want to read fiction thats familiar. i want to be able to get into the head of people like me every now and then. is that too much to ask for?

[schizowitchic]

re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

[idyllic-affections]

I'm not sure about what tags but for me i usually end up blocking them on sight if that helps

Like i saw a questionable kny content the other day and it wasn't for me so after checking the blog (and seeing all of the content there was the same) i ended up just blocking the person

Really not sure about the tags though

ahh yeah that happens to me all the time and it is... so uncomfortable. some people are very gross tbh and im tired of pretending its not true. some of the things ive seen on here (ive been here for 5 months btw... not a long time) are very very questionable. thats why im seeing if anyone has any tags that they KNOW are worth blocking haha

thank you though, i do appreciate it!!

[imgoingtoputscorpionsinyourmouth]

online games make me hate ppl sometimes i wont lie. Like is it really hard to stop yourself from saying vulgar shit to me once you realize i am a woman godddddddddd. like last night i was playing this like acting game on vrc with some friends and we were being the van der linde gang and trying to do like all the voices and being silly. but like dudes will STILL come up to me and make some gross joke about me having a vagina or like talking about my thighs or like try to grope my avatar???????????????? when im like pretending to be arthur morgan and fake coughing on ppl., i dont get it and im soooo fucking tired of it. like i was doing it with 3 other ppl and they are all audibly men and they NEVER get that kind of shit directed at them it sucks so so so hard. Like we were on for like ~3 hrs and over the course of that time likr 4 or 5 times some random fucker would just come up to me and be awful.. its so ANNOYING esp since i actively try to distance myself from the strange dating and erp shit on vrc w how i conduct myself and what avatars i use but it still Fucking happens so frequently it makes me feel sad sometimes. Like when someone seem,s like theyre funny and chill when talking to the other ppl i was withj (audibly male) but then they hit me with the evil wretched behavior when they realize im not also a dude. Whatever die forever freaks. im just trying to have fun with my friends

[nervouswaltz]

WE NEED WEIRDER NASTIER REALER GAY SEX AT DNF AO3 PRIDE!!!!!

IM FUCKIN SAYIN!!! i have a lot of thoughts on this and they're hard to get in order but like. i think how fandoms treat gay people ESPECIALLY gay sex is like. so fucking different to how gay sex actually is. like. so many fandoms with mlm ships are "dominant big broad top x skinny twink bottom" and authors for a while were stuck in this "uwu my sinnamon rolls this is SOOOOO raunchy" and its like. the most sanitized missionary on the planet and it makes me MAD. like. youre writing gay sex. youre talking about buttholes. stop being so fucking afraid of them. stop being afraid of shit being gross stop being afraid of lube stop being afraid of the realities of sex!!! like some of the fics ive posted are Very Tame Levels Of Kink (in the global scale ofc, for some people it's a Lot) and sometimes i feel like they're almost Too Much for the tag. but thats such a fandom thing? like fucking go on pornhub dot com slash gay and i swear to god within thirty seconds you will see someone getting fisted in a way you didnt think was possible for the human body to do and its like theres a whole community of Just That. and im tired of pretending gay sex isnt that like we say dnf r little freaks in love with each other but then people are afraid to write them doing any actual like. hardcore kink and it gets on my nerves. sex is gross sex is messy sex is awesome can we stop acting like every bottom is this perfectly hairless flawlessly douched little twink and fucking Get Real about it.

[honey-bee-dreamer]

im tired of pretending that period sex isnt hot

why do people think its gross its not

[sorryaboutyourwindow]

Okay okay okay I’m gonna let my ego take over for a bit and answer these for myself cuz these are fun to think about-

1. Three things that shaped me into who I am. An old pocket watch my aunt got for me in Taiwan with my Chinese Zodiac on it, a Snow Globe that’s decades old now that was a baby shower gift for me/my mom, and a plaid brown blanket my grandma got me from London when I was three. I guess they’re all constants in my life and maybe I’m taking a more symbolic approach to this question but it’s fine.

2. Picture of my handwriting.

This was brainstorming for an engineering model project I was on a bit ago.

3. 3 films I will never tire from. Grosse Pointe Blank, Tangled, and Mean Girls.

4. Inside joke. “Poot poot, im scared”

5. I was a Pinterest girlie that relied on uploads but couldn’t keep up with this one Haikyuu comic, I forget who it was by but the ship was sakuatsu. Eventually I caved and made an account and now we’re here.

6. Best/worst part of being online. Never being able to get away from people. I’m an extrovert and love my friends, I’m just bad at dealing with people and need space. It’s nice I can talk to them whenever tho!

7. What scares me the most and why. Eternity. I am terrified of the unknown and what’s to come after all of this shit and I don’t know if I could live with myself forever, but I love to exist so so much and don’t think I could ever be ready to not if you know what I mean?

8. Reoccurring dreams. There’s this one, it’s more of a nightmare if anything, of being trapped in a beach house during a hurricane and I’m in the corner watching a blonde woman holding her son to try and save him. It’s short but I don’t know where it came from or why it sticks around.

9. Story about my childhood. I have always had the tendency to be a bit of a control freak so I would often just end up playing by myself because I just got annoyed. I used to play in my grandmas garden and pretend that I was a fairy or witch and shave chalk into powder to make “potions” and “fairy dust” and climb their trees to pick pecans. There was this one time I was kinda in my own little world and they had a porcelain dove on the bench, and I went to pick it up to acquire another familiar. This little bitch had a hornets nest inside of it so when baby me went to pick it up, I got stung smack dab in the middle of my palm.

10. Am I emotional. Yes, very, but at odd times. I get worked up really easily and passionate about the smallest debates or subjects but then if I go to break up with someone I don’t shed a tear. Yet somehow, every decision I make ends up being with my heart instead of my head despite how analytical I try to be.

11. What do I consider to be romance. This one gets its own few paragraphs.

In short, romance is when I’m so consumed by the person that I don’t care about what anyone else thinks. Ive dated a girl for two years who turns out never had feelings for me, I dated a guy who was my best friend and ended up being my stand partner for the rest of that year, I got groomed (all the same year btw). All of those kinda sucked for me and looking back there’s a good chance we were using each other and I was kinda embarrassed to be seen out in public with them let alone be affectionate.

I hate the sappy shit, hate the cheesy dates, hate the stereotypical rom com romancing because I just thought that was embarrassing. But right now it’s like really fucking weird for me cuz I have a boyfriend that I actually am actively proud to be around and show off to my friends and will lean on in public and don’t give a shit if he kisses me in public. It’s really fucking weird but really fucking nice, he loves the cheesy shit and honestly I’m starting to love it too.

12. Advice. Don’t make it official before the first date, set boundaries and restrictions with yourself on how physical you wanna be with a person on that specific date, if you’re scared to confess just do it and move on to rip the bandaid off, no “I love you”’s until at least the fourth date uhhhhhhhhhh

13. What am I doing right now. Eating spicy ass soup I made. It’s so good.

14. Something I’ve always wanted to do but too scared to. Tell my Abuela I cannot stomach her cooking. That or skydiving.

15. What do I think of when I hear the word “home.” That Edward Sharpe song.

16. If I could change one think about myself what is it. My tits are two different sizes, I just want my bras to fit okay.

17. Three things that make me happy. The beach, bookshops, and hanging out with friends after events when it’s really fucking late and hey we’re in the city anyways.

18. Do I believe in ghosts/aliens. As much as I would love proof, I’d like to keep a bit of hope out there for either. We don’t actually know what the afterlife looks like nor if there’s life out there in an infinitely expanding universe. Cannot qualify or disqualify, plus it’d be cool if they were and I wanna be hopeful.

19. Favorite thing about the day. Sunrise, it’s so goddamn pretty and it’s especially nice if you’re seeing it with someone.

20. Favorite thing about the night. Stargazing, I can never do it because of light pollution, but when I’m out in the country I’m genuinely in awe.

21. Am I spiritual. Spiritual as in there is something greater than us out there, not religious.

22. 3 things about someone I love. He’s strong, not just physically but like he’s been through some shit and I’m proud of him for still being here. He actively tries and seeks criticism because he just wants things to be as good as he can possibly make it for someone, doesn’t matter what. He’s an extrovert, and gets along with people, and gets along with my friends and it’s so sweet to see him interact with people.

23. 3 things about someone I hate. I don’t hate him, I’m just hurt. He has a right to want me out of his life since I definitely fucked up. He doesn’t realize there are other smart people in the room. He never actually acknowledged that I’m not stupid.

24. One thing I’m proud of myself for. My body, baby me would be proud. I dealt with an eating disorder for a while and it’s been a slow recovery process. But I get compliments on how I look now and I fit into the clothes that I want to and goddamnit I’m proud of my stretch marks. I’m proud of my body.

25. Favorite season. Spring, I’m a plant person and it’s just a season of rebirth and it’s summer without the temperature being in the triple digits. I love it.

26. Favorite color. A sunflower yellow, it’s just bright and cheery and pops and I love it.

27. Nicknames. Isa mostly, but my little sister accidentally called me Isi once and I loved it but it hasn’t happened again.

28. Collection. Trinkets for my bookshelf, cool guitar picks, books I want to read, and Starbucks mugs from cities and countries I’ve been to across the world.

29. What do I do when I’m sad. Play Angus and Julia Stone and turn off my lights and stare at the ceiling. Or call a friend and binge rom coms.

30. One thing that never fails to make me happy/happier. When my boyfriend texts, it’s stupid and cheesy but goddamnit I love talking to him.

31. Messy or organized. Messy in my room like I actually cannot walk in here, but control freak organized with my bags and files like I will never not know where something I need to use is for work or school.

32. How many tabs open. Just on my laptop, over 76. On my phone, it’s 67 in one tab group and another 38 for Ao3.

33. Hobbies. I play upright bass, electric bass, guitar, ukulele, harmonica, piano, and sing plus love going on deep dives on plants and space shit. I also surf, kick box, love to read, garden, and follow LFC.

34. Pet peeves. When someone messes with my cooking to check if it’s done immediately after I say “give it a second it needs more time.”

35. Trust easily. Yes, it’s gotten me assaulted twice.

36. Open book or walls up. I have really really really bad rbf to the point where a lot of my classmates are scared shitless of me if I correct them, but if you get me to start talking I’ve probably told my entire life story like sixty times but just not all to one person.

37. Secret. I kissed him.

38. Fave song atm. Red Wine Supernova by Chappell Roan.

39. YouTuber I’ve been obsessed with. Omahdon I think was the name. They did ow comic dubs a while back and I binge watched them when I was sad.

40. Bad habits. I pick at scabs and cuticles, I have never once finished my tbr or been over 10% of catching up, I forget to bring down my mugs of tea, and I never fold my clean laundry. Ever.

OH MY FUCK IM DONE BYE

questions I think would be fun to be asked

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

what made you start your blog?

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

what scares you the most and why?

any reacquiring dreams?

tell a story about your childhood

would you say you’re an emotional person?

what do you consider to be romance?

what’s some good advice you want to share?

what are you doing right now?

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

name 3 things that make you happy

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

favourite thing about the day?

favourite things about the night?

are you a spiritual person?

say 3 things about someone you love

say 3 things about someone you hate

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

fave season and why?

fave colour and why?

any nicknames?

do you collect anything?

what do you do when you’re sad?

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

are you messy or organised?

how many tabs do you have open right now?

any hobbies?

any pet peeves?

do you trust easily?

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

share a secret

fave song at the moment?

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

any bad habits?

(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)

[evonkyva]

I had an incredible gnarley ass dream where I essentially rented a college style b and b . You could just go up to hr and it was this modern futuristic house with 2 floors.

I invited two irl people who have disrespected me in irl I knew to an anime convention and they basically stayed in the house and interacted with each other . Even at the anime convention I was treated with digust if I tried to literally ask how they were. My job was just to be sugar daddy

When the weekend was over they had basically left hand in hand with how awesome it was and I was left empty. A 3rd person who disrespected me irl needed a ride home and a influencer who I guess was the professor offer to take him home

When they left everything was empty and I walk around this modern house with high ceilings and literally rooms hidden in nooks , covered completely with white and oak and it was odd cause I would hate homes like this irl. I like messy eclectic darky moody houses and this just warm and somehow peaceful - I would be simultaneously over and under stimulated but walking around by myself was nice

I don't know I don't know if I stay or left the house but unlike in the beginning of the dream it wasn't cold it was warm and not that I knew what the inside look like it felt nice and cozy for me though I could see how it's still intimidating but for others

In my past ice given away so much money and time only to be spit on laugh at and told I was being the smaller people by people who only drained my funds made me uncomfortable and swore up and down they didn't know why I was so difficult.

I am desperate for friends but after having a friend of 13 years call me selfish and and shallow, I realize I won't be seen as anything I know damn well I actually am and honestly I'm just here for other people who do that friendship dance right.

I am a hella flawed person but I know I don't think I'm entitled to friendship that why I put effort into money into events and not bringing up what I've spend on people cause well prep time is suppose to make well made memories but that's not how other see me and I'm tired of read a manual that's not written for me

I think the dream telling me that I could find something amazing alone. That I could find me peace( the white of the house), and stability ( the oak the mental ) in something uneasy alone in something unlikely ( the house is the opposite from a house I would like ).

The people are irl people who have stolen money from me and laugh in my face about caring or straight been like ' I expected more from you " after clearly manipulating and assaulting me.

In my actually awake life , I have little to no friends my friend of 13 years doesn't realize it but out friendship is on its way out. It's hallow and unsafe and jagged to me. We no longer communicate we just talk.. I'll actually put effort into manifesting for him the group of friends that will finally push him toward his dreams and then ...I'll poof

I'm not angry ...I'm tired. I do adore humans but .... I know that's not mutual and I'm tired of pretending it is when I do the same thing for 13 years and getting the same gross result. Im not asking for your pity, I'm just aware of the insanity I've been putting myself through