#its got like a good strong theme and it feels good to listen to

[seithr]

Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now

(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)

(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)

Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

[trainingdummyrabbit]

ouhhhg. why r we all here. jsust to suffer. every day i shuffle things around in my silly aus

[mercwiththem0uth]

he has risen, baby girl

warnings/themes; deadpool/wade wilson x fem!reader, detailed smut (18+), established relationship, strong language, missionary sex, no use of condoms, use of sex toys, dirty talk, phone sex, pet-names (lol), lowercase intended

i started writing this monthsss ago and i finally finished and uploaded it (you're welcome). anyway i love wade wilson i need him in a way that is unhealthy.

the ending is poor as i didn't know how to finish it lol p.s this is not proof-read as it's past 2am sorryyyy

you laid spread out on the bed, completely in the nude, waiting for your boyfriend to come out of the bathroom. it was often that the two of you would have sex when he returned home from a mission, because all that fighting and anger always got him so riled up and turned on. however this evening was slightly different. he came limping through the front door, hands clasped over his crotch, because in his words, the "crown jewels have been destroyed". he had been shot. through the dick.

and naturally he was extremely pissed off about it, because sometimes "the only dignity a male has is in his manhood"... but mainly because his girl had to wait even longer before she "got a good pounding". again, his words...

he had been in the bathroom cleaning up, and waiting (praying) for his cock to heal and regenerate. you were growing impatient, and increasingly horny, listening to your boyfriend's muffled moaning and grunting from the ensuite. you felt bad because you knew his noises were purely from his pain, but he had made it abundantly clear that you were not allowed in there to help him. "some things are just not meant for you to see, princess". you also felt bad about being ready for sex when your partner has a literal bullet-hole through his shaft, but you had been craving him all day, and you knew that wade would still try and fuck you on his deathbed if he could. besides, he literally instructed you to be out here ready and waiting for him, so you could hardly say no.

the core between your legs ached, and your attempts at squeezing and rubbing your thighs together were not cutting it anymore. "wade? everything okay?" you called out, and only received a "mhmm" in return. you huffed and rolled over, reaching into your bedside drawer and retrieving your magic wand vibrator. going to turn it on, you sighed at the low battery light flashing at you. you would have ignored it and used up the last of its power, but wade was going away for a few days tomorrow, so, much to your dismay, you decided to plug it into charge, knowing that you'd be grateful for this sacrifice right now when you're due to have a lonely night.

you lowered your fingers to your clit, beginning to lightly trace it with your fingertips needing to release some pressure, when you suddenly heard many excited "yes" and "finally"s coming from the bathroom. you perked up in excitement, moving your fingers against yourself faster through the eagerness.

the bathroom door suddenly swung open, your boyfriend's naked, muscular figure appearing in the doorway, arms outwardly expanded, with an erection on full-display. "he has risen, baby girl" he called out, like he was determined for the world to know. you smiled, biting your lip as you watched him slowly walk towards you. he stood over you at the side of the bed and sighed with deep relief, proudly looking down at his penis that he rubbed gently in his hand. "thank the heavens for that, sweet cheeks. i thought i'd never get to fuck you again."

"well that's what it certainly feels like" you teased, a hint of seriousness in your voice as you looked at him, still horny out of your mind.

"ohh, giving me a bit of attitude are we?" he snarked, climbing slowly onto the bed and laying down to face you. "well i'm sorry baby doll, but i don't think you would've wanted me to take you to pound-town with a gaping crater in my cock." you tried to resist a smirk at his silly remark, as you reached down to take him into your hand, your thumb rubbing over the fresh area of skin. his eyes closed as he began to relax, before you spoke up. "i don't think so, mister. no handjobs tonight. i just need you to fuck me." he opened one eye and raised an eyebrow at you, watching as you let go of his cock and laid down on your back, waiting for him.

he rolled to hover over you, resting his weight on his elbows as he leaned down for a kiss. you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist in an attempt to bring him closer to you to finally have him where you needed him the most. you felt him try and add some tongue to the kiss, but you pulled back breathlessly. "just put it inside me already" you weren't in the mood for foreplay, you were already too far past that point.

"that wasn't very polite, princess" wade said, pulling back to sit on his knees as he straddled your lap. "i think you'll have to ask nicely first."

you huffed and threw your head back against the pillows, a frustrated groan escaping your throat. that's the thing about wade, he gets off on teasing you and making you beg, even when it's most inconvenient for you. "please" you said half-bluntly, watching as wade shrugged and shook his head. "oh darling, i think you can do better than that."

you scoffed as tears brimmed in your eyes, having been pushed past desperation. wade watching closely, "you're such a spoiled brat, you know that?" he cooed in a hushed tone, leaning forward to brush some fallen hair out of your eyes. "i'll let you off, just this once." you didn't have much time to process his words before his tip was slowly entering you. you gasped at the feeling, your body finally getting what it wants. "so wet," he whispered to himself, "absolutely soaked".

he sunk all the way in, the both of you moaning loudly as he reached full capacity. you gasped, gripping his shoulders as you attempted to grind and roll your hips against him. "ah, ah," he tutted, grasping your waist tightly to halt your movements "patience, kitten." he leaned forward to hover over you again, your legs naturally raising in the air, as he began to finally rock into you. you moaned loudly, running your hands over his head and neck, finally feeling so much relief. "so needy for deadpool" he whispered into your ear, giving the lobe a gentle nip with his teeth. "aren't you?" he continued, "getting yourself in such a mess for daddy."

all you could do was nod your head, wade's quickening movements completely knocking the words out of you. he fully sped up, your legs weakening as they dropped down against the bed lazily. the loud sound of skin slapping roughly together was almost completely drowned out by your moans and shouts of profanities. "fuck," wade grunted in your ear as he continued to plough into you. "your whining is so fucking hot." his dirty talk only made you whine louder, nails digging roughly into his back.

wade eventually slowed his movements and sat back up on his knees, dragging you slightly down the bed with him. you remained on your back, the back of your thighs resting over his, as his hands hooked underneath your legs to hold you in place before thrusting into you again. the new position added new waves of pleasure, causing you to throw your head back and choke on a moan. he gripped your legs tightly, thrusting steadily, his large cock filling you up so deeply with each movement of his hips. "wade-... feels so... good".

something to the side of the bed on the floor caught wade's attention, and you didn't notice his eyes narrow with his exciting plan. you groaned as he stopped his movements and pulled out, lifting your head to look at him in annoyance, but furrowing your brows in confusion when you saw him leaning over the side of the bed. "what are you d-" your question was cut off when he sat back up holding your retrieved vibrator. he looked at you wiggling his eyebrows, causing you to smile and roll your eyes. "been having some fun today, princess?"

"i wish," you said sarcastically, tilting your head to the side, "i was gonna use it when you were in the bathroom, but it was almost out of charge."

he nodded, muttering to himself "naughty girl, running it dry" before turning it on to see the battery level. "just over half-way. that'll do nicely." he held the base of his penis and ran it over your pussy, smothering himself in your juices before entering you again, rocking his hips slowly. you soon heard the buzzing noise of your toy and waited eagerly. he remained on his knees, bringing the toy down to your clit as he continued to pump into you. as it made contact, your mouth gaped open with a gasp and your head flung back, your back arching slightly. he relished at the sight and couldn't help but speed up, fucking you harder and causing you to cry out.

"fuck! wade!" you almost screamed, eyes screwed tightly closed.

"yeah," he grunted, "you like that, don't you baby?" his voice was strained and rough, struggling to focus on anything but the pleasure. you just moaned in response, unable to form any coherent words or thoughts.

wade's thick shaft was bottomed out inside of you, his hips rolling and grinding against your own. his head was cradled in your neck as he leaned over you, gently moaning in your ear. his thumb remained over the control settings of the vibrator, pressing random buttons to increase the speed and send you over the edge. your thighs shook rapidly as you climaxed, the tight coil in your stomach finally unravelling, letting you see and feel fireworks.

you'd never orgasmed so hard in your life.

wade let you ride out your high before pulling out and ejaculating all over your lower stomach, moaning loudly. his hand dropping the vibrator and swapped with his cock, pulling every last drop out of himself.

you laid completely breathless underneath him, chest heaving and legs still trembling. wade leaned down and pressed a few kisses to your chest and neck, before heading to the bathroom. he returned with a warm flannel cloth and gently cleaned you up, chuckling lightly to himself as you squirmed under his touch. "oh kitten, so sensitive" he whispered.

he laid beside you, pulling you into his arms. "you did a number on me, wade wilson" you mumbled tiredly into his chest, already feeling exhausted.

you felt him smile against your hair as he pressed kisses to the top of your head. "when i go away, you need to use that during phone sex. need to hear those pathetic moans."

"noted", you yawned, using the last of your energy to lightly kick the wand off the bed, telling yourself that you'll clean it and charge it in the morning.

it was a few days later, you laid on your bed with your phone pressed to your ear and your fingers down the front of your panties, listening to wade talking filth to you.

"come on then sweetheart, get that vibe out" he purred, staring down at the tight tent that was forming in his underwear. you rolled over and reached into your drawer, beginning to rummage frantically when you couldn't find it.

"shit..." you cursed under your breath, leaning your head over the side of the bed to peer underneath it.

"fuck!" you exclaimed angrily, spotting the wand laying under the bed, where you had discarded and forgotten about it just days ago.

"what's the matter, doll-face? out of charge?" wade asked, and you could practically hear the smirk stretching across his face.

"... you knew, didn't you?" your voice lowered as you sat flustered and frustrated on your bed.

"i don't know what you're talking about, baby cakes" your boyfriend teased.

"why didn't you remind me" you whined, squeezing your legs together to ease the aching, just like you had done a few nights prior.

"it's more fun this way" his laugh crackled down the phone, a frustrated groan erupting from your throat as you dramatically laid yourself down against the bed.

"you're such an arsehole!" you cursed at him, listening as he continued to laugh.

"i'll see you tomorrow, sweet cheeks", he said teasingly, "have a fun night." he made kissy noises as he hung up, leaving you horny, annoyed and alone.

he had no idea that when he returns, he'll be in for a long night of teasing and silent treatment.

[tonkatsubowl]

anderson's favorite.

▼ aventurine x fem!reader

▼ nsfw themes. mdni.

anderson wanted you to judge and give some opinions on a few drinks that she created. but you got a little too carried away.

being part of the nameless is all about saving some worlds, traveling through the galaxy, being a total bad ass and fighting crime and...

doing alot of side work.

side work included chores and tasks from your newly made companions and civilians that needed help on the... well, side. and another side work you had to do—well, volunteered for, was being a test subject for anderson.

it all started with a single text, and now you're here, sitting on a luxurious stool belonging to anderson's bar, looking at three—no, four drinks before you. and each of them looked aesthetically pleasing, but you knew how alcohol can be deceiving sometimes. it can look great and taste extremely bitter and strong, look weird and taste amazing... or just anything random you can think of.

"alright, (y/n)! let's start off this drink. i was inspired by your adventures in xianzhou luofu, so i made this drink called the lychee paradise. it's similar to a baijiu—if you never had it before, it's a strong liquor. but i tried to make it as sweet as possible for the customers to taste the lychee flavor more, rather than the actual strong liquor."

your fingers wrap around the glass, admiring the lychee fruit that floated atop of the beverage, along with the added sugar coated rim. you give the drink a quick whiff, adding a, "this smells strong. it smells sweet, too," before taking a sip. your eyes comically sparkle, widening due to its incredible flavor.

this was dangerous. you couldn't taste the alcohol, it was like straight up juice—and you knew if you kept drinking it, you'd probably get drunk immediately... but it tasted so good, you couldn't help it but actually down the whole drink!

"woah!" anderson exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "i'll take that response as a total yes, then. but... well? how does it taste? lychee flavored at least? is it too bitter, or...?"

"i taste the lychee! it tastes very sweet, and it would be an amazing addition to the menu." you beam, downing the rest of the drink.

...you didn't want to admit it, but you were already getting woozy. your surroundings were already getting spinny, but your stubborn self refused to admit you were already tipsy.

"alright, how are you feeling?" she asked. "want to stop here? need some water?"

"no," you shake your head, "i'm fine! let's keep going."

anderson fell for your little lie. she smiled and nodded, presenting the next drink.

"this one here is called the summer season. although it's spring right now—well, in dreams, it doesn't really matter—i made this drink inspired by... well, summer itself. should taste like tropical, ish. this one is a little bitt—"

you took a one sip, then you downed the whole thing. mango flavored with a hint of coconut, and you can taste the bitterness of the drink. with this second drink, you were already out, girlfriend.

"o-oh," anderson said, "damn, didn't expect you to actually go for it like that. how is it, (y/n)? or well, how are you feeling, most importantly? i think you should get some water. here, i'll grab some for you."

"i'm alright!" your voice slurred a bit as you enthusiastically responded, "listen. these drinks are amazing. i think you are the aeon of alcohol."

little did you know, while you were conversing with anderson, a certain individual came up and slid an extra glass of water your way. anderson was already in the middle of serving you water, but this person came in clutch faster.

"drank too much?"

you turn your head to see aventurine sitting next to you with his expensive shades on. he smiles at you, then looks to anderson.

"i'll just have whatever is on draft. any will do."

anderson nodded, before giving you the original glass of water, before grabbing his beer.

you smile woozily as you leaned in towards aventurine, drunkingly nuzzling your head against his shoulder.

"aventuriiiiiine..." you whine, closing your eyes. "where were you? i missed you..."

aventurine blinked, chuckling to himself. pristine eyes observe your drunken state as he reached over to pat your head. "did you drink too much, (y/n)? didn't know nameless' were so lightweight."

he stated before taking a sip of his beer, "drink more water."

you shook your head, "no! i would like to help anderson out. you're kind of interrupting my job here!"

aventurine looks to anderson, to which she shrugged sheepishly with a chuckle. "hey, didn't know she was a lightweight either."

aventurine sighed before taking a large gulp of water before lifting your chin, giving you the water via kiss. your eyes wide and your face flushes a darker color of red than it already is now, but you reeled him in with his collar and returned the kiss. anderson blinked and turned away, acting like she didn't see anything before whistling.

"alright, love birds. get a room. i can confirm she's safe with someone she knows."

aventurine smiled within the kiss before pulling away, proceeding to help you out of the stool.

"sorry about her. i'll have her rest somewhere."

anderson nodded, taking the empty glasses. "of course! appreciate it, pretty boy. keep her safe for me or i'll personally kick your ass myself."

aventurine gave a nod and a smile before tipping the bartender some expensive jewels, before leaving with you.

you were able to walk, but you were leaning against the wealthy male the entire time.

"do you... want me to pick you up? you're dragging your feet, (y/n)."

"i can walk," you murmur, the drowsiness slowly kicking in. "i have a stellaron in my body, so i can do anything."

"everyone has weaknesses, my dear. even i myself... do."

"mm?" your eyes drowsily look up to aventurine, who was gazing at you so dearily, "doesn't make you weak."

aventurine falls silent before sitting you on a bench, and before the both of you lies a grand view of penacony. children running around, humans being... human. the beautiful night sky, stars being grand—it was such a beautiful sight.

his arm had wrapped around your shoulders, where you had immediately snuggled up against him, nearly fallen asleep.

"...aventurine." you whisper. "i want... to make sure you're happy."

he blinked before looking at you with a funny gaze. "where is this coming from?"

"... mm." you began, "your eyes are beautiful but i can just see...your sorrows."

aventurine was silent.

he knew you were drunk, but... drunk people tend to be more honest. especially with your feelings towards him, with how the both of you fought in the past, your chemistry with him—everything.

but you were asleep, so he decided to speak, quietly.

"... (y/n). do you think... when we wake from this dream, we'd able to find our ways to each other?"

...

you were asleep, but.

you would answer, 'yes. i would find my way back to you.'

[ryuichirou]

I really love the lengthy analysis you wrote about Vil and Jamil in the past! Do you have anything similar to say about Riddle, if you haven't already? Or maybe about Riddle and Trey, if you're more comfortable with talking about relationships between characters.

Dear Anon, I am very happy you liked my analysis of these two! It’s been a while, I even forgot that I wrote it, so it’s insanely nice to hear that someone still reads these posts and enjoys them. As you might have already noticed (it seems to be my mission to keep repeating it to make sure no one ever forgets about it), I am not as speedy with my replies as I used to be, so this reply is long overdue. But I always have stuff to say about these boys, and Riddle very interesting and very dear to me as the boy who introduced us to how broken these boys are and how interestingly TWST plays with the theme of trauma.

We don’t post about him very often, but I like Riddle a lot. I think out of all of the housewardens he has the biggest vibe of a broken kid hidden behind his strong facade. I guess this is my way of saying that Riddle is the most childish out of all of them lol It shows not only in his tantrums (Ace compared him to a baby for a reason), but also in how obviously excited he gets when he sees anything that is fun; it’s like his inner kid reacts before Riddle composes himself and acts like he isn’t interested. We’ve seen a bunch of moments like this, I think. In a way, all of the overblot boys didn’t get to live through their childhood in a “normal” way, but Riddle expresses it in a very obvious way.

But it’s not only about cakes and games: Riddle is very immature emotionally too, and it’s hard to blame him for that, because let’s be honest: this is the first time Riddle deals with people. Isolation is a difficult thing to come back from, and if you shove a heavily sheltered boy into an high school/college and put him in a position of housewarden, of course he’s going to act like a little dictator: this is the only way to assert authority he’s ever seen. And since Riddle himself is a good kid (i.e. a kid who is terribly afraid of making his mother angry) and doesn’t misbehave, he is completely unequipped of dealing with a whole dorm of teenagers who aren’t very good or excited to live by the Queen’s Rules. Even those who don’t want to cause trouble can’t remember all of them, they’re basically written in a way that are meant to sabotage you, but Riddle would never acknowledge that: if he learned them, others must too, otherwise they just didn’t try enough. But they just won’t listen, and Riddle gets frustrated instantly: it’s them who are unreasonable, not him!

Of course it is a metaphor and an exaggeration, but I think Riddle portrays a very real thing that a lot of us have either seen or experienced. His standards for himself aren’t just high, they’re absolutely unreasonable, but this is his entire reality and he can’t even see that this isn’t how things are for the rest of the world. He’s like a little goldfish (lol) who lived in a tiny aquarium for its entire life and then got transferred into an ocean without any kind of adaptation or even a quarantine. Riddle is already a second year, but I think the shock of everything around him still hasn’t gone away completely, partially because Riddle spends a lot of time stubbornly ignoring the feeling that he is the one in the wrong. If he is wrong, than mother is also wrong, and that can’t be – this is the only thing he is sure of.

You know, there are some people who really enjoy having a system of rules in their head, or rather principles, and it gives them a very valuable and helpful structure (even if that system of rules/principles isn’t perfect and backfires sometimes). Vil is that kind of person, Sebek is that kind of person... Riddle isn’t. I genuinely think Riddle is the type of person who would enjoy living without a set of rules, but with basic logic to help him navigate the world; does that make sense? Anyways, unfortunately, Riddle can’t live without a manual: he never learned how to. We see it both in his book and in book 6, when he shocks Azul over and over again by just how rigid he is.

Speaking of which, I love that Riddle didn’t have a 180 degree turn after his book. Of course, it’s partially because we have to keep the status quo intact a little bit, and he wouldn’t be the personification of the Queen if he didn’t have his rules; but I also think this is very true to life. Just like the boys said at the end of the book 1, you don’t have to change everything at ones, taking baby steps is okay.

But taking baby steps also means that you will keep bumping into issues and conflicts, which is crucial for growth, but also could make Azul fucking Ashengrotto say that he will beat the shit out of you if you won’t shut up lol

Their entire dynamic in book 6 was very good. Both Azul and Riddle are horribly stubborn, obsessive freaks, but for entirely different reasons and in very different ways. And both of them have their guard up, but interestingly? I think Riddle is better at trusting people and being genuine about his feelings or thoughts about them than Azul. Maybe he’s made a better progress than Azul in that sense, maybe he’s always been better, but this is what I mean: Riddle doesn’t mind genuinely complimenting Azul for his achievements, and a lot of time he didn’t even mean to offend Azul with his remarks. To Azul, however, every compliment is given with a reason and every snarky comment is given to metaphorically push someone down the stairs. Both of them have a lot to learn though lol but it’s fun to see them working through this misunderstanding and actually working together.

You asked about Trey; and honestly, even though we kind of liked him from the beginning, we didn’t think much about him (mostly because we met the rest of the characters whom we were very excited about). But the more I think about Trey, the more I get amused by how much of a dark horse he is. I feel like Trey’s forced neutrality and desire to stay “hidden” from any kind of event or conflict or attention at all is interesting: it’s subtle, but it’s definitely there. He has this inoffensive image of a good and caring older brother type, and it’s true that he is caring and supportive, but it’s also isn’t entirely out of his desire to do good things. I’m not saying that he is an asshole, but he isn’t like Silver or Kalim, if that makes sense, he doesn’t have this hero-like desire for everyone to be happy or to protect the weak no matter what and to help out everyone: whether Trey wants to admit it or not, he has his priorities. And I feel like Trey doesn’t even want to necessarily be “the good guy”, he really just wants to be “the normal guy”, and sometimes “the normal guy people could rely on”.

What I wanted to say by that is that Riddle is Trey’s main priority no matter what. I’m stating the obvious, but this is why he didn’t protect Ace and Deuce (who were in Heartslabyul for less than a week) from him, this is why he kept asking everyone to just be patient with Riddle and to tolerate the way he treats everyone. Because it was more important for him to protect Riddle and to avoid him feeling like he does the wrong thing.

And while it’s partially due to Trey’s personality and his relationship with Riddle, I feel like Trey is also kind of traumatised by what happened back then. Not to the degree that Riddle is traumatised of course, but it’s probably tough for someone who’s always been a good kid to get yelled at by someone else’s mother for hours for doing something that you believe wasn’t even bad. I think Trey feels extremely guilty because he knows that whatever he felt, Riddle had it even worse. So it’s not surprising that he is terrified of hurting Riddle even more: every time he looks at the way he acts, he knows that it’s a result of him being abused. I’m stating the obvious here lol but I like that Trey is stuck in this “sorry, but I will keep hurting all of you because not hurting him is more important”.

We watched Ghost Marriage Event recently (haven’t seen the vignettes and voice lines yet) and I think it’s very interesting that it was kind of tied to the Trey/Riddle situation, which Ace even directly addressed. We even got Trey (and Cater too, to be fair) going yikes because he felt called out by what Ace was saying to Chubby about the way he treated Eliza. Even if you love someone, you can’t just let that person get away with hurting others. Even if you think it will keep them happy, it will never help them in a way you think it will. Riddle gets hurt by staying a tyrant that everyone despises, and Trey knows that he does, but doing that important step of stopping him and having a talk with him is too scary to even consider. This is why he needed that wakeup call from Ace of all people.

I guess that makes Ace more emotionally mature than Trey and Riddle both in a way lol

Anyways, I love their relationship a lot, and even though I’ve mostly been talking about the very basis of their relationship, I think there is a lot to explore with these two.

[aquatic-armageddons]

Ghost x AFAB!Reader 🔞

Summary: Simon gets jealous of König so he destroys your 😺 as punishment 😈

⚠️CW⚠️: mature/sexual themes

⚠️READ AT YOUR OWN RISK⚠️

---

She seriously irked him.

Despite the relationship going on strong, Simon still felt as if he could not trust his lover 100%.

Still, he could not blame her for being the way she was. Y/N was the type of woman to try to get on the good side of her closest peers, to get them to feel as relaxed as her. Surely some would see her overfriendly aura to be quite stifling. Though that did not deter her mission to spread positivity.

But many would wrongly assume Y/N's manner as rather perverse.

And this is just the case with Simon. He has observed some of the exchanges with her and his fellow comrades, causing an unpleasant twinge in his chest, and he did not want to acknowledge that fact.

But he couldn't avoid it forever.

---

"Bro, are you even listening?" Johnny waved his fork in front of Simon's face. He was staring hard at Y/N exchanging pleasantries with a certain Austrian.

Johnny heaved a sigh of slight irritation. "C'mon mate. You can't be starin' at them forever. Y/N ain't the type to wander astray."

"And how would you know that?" Simon scoffed, turning his head towards him with a twitch in his eye.

"Trust me, I know. It's painfully obvious what's goin' on." Johnny was unable to hide the smirk creeping on his face.

"Go on..."

"I don't have to, man. Don't you trust the poor girl?"

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tch..."

Johnny pondered for a moment. "Maybe remind her of what she has?"

"What are you on about, Soap?" Simon snapped.

"Teach her a lesson. Put her in her place." Johnny pointed his fork in the other man's face. "You know damn well where I'm goin' with this."

"Fuckin' hell..."

---

Everything came to a head the next day. König and Y/N were heavily engaged in a discussion regarding their childhoods and the struggles they've had to endure. Simon took notice of this, and discovered some intimate details that Y/N refrained from telling him.

It felt like a real slap to the face, to say the least.

"The hell is going on here?" Simon stormed over, placing a protective hand on Y/N's shoulder.

"We're just reminiscing of our pasts is all," König started. "Is that a problem?"

Ouch.

Y/N was snatched away from the table before she was able to register. Simon tossed her over his shoulder as though she weighed nothing, and swiftly carried her away towards his cabin room.

"Scheiße. Hope she can still walk after this." König stifled a snicker.

---

Y/N was shoved into the cabin room. "What the heck's your problem, man?!"

Simon said nothing. He only responded by glaring into her confused yet slightly frightened eyes. Rather than yell, he wanted to show her exactly with whom he had a bone to pick.

"Simon, baby, you're scaring me... What's the matter?" She tried asking him, but was once again met with silence.

He slowly sauntered over to Y/N, backing her into the wall. Caging her with his massive arms, he trapped her like a lion about to pounce on its prey.

Y/N felt a cramp in her throat, and she could feel her eyes stinging. "Simon, I don't understand, why are you so mad at me? König-"

"It's always about that bastard with you, isn't it?! Fuck me, right?!" Simon roared, making her flinch and causing a fresh trail of salty tears to fall.

"What are you-oh!" Y/N began, but was cut off when she felt a sharp sting to her lower backside.

"You don't speak unless I allow you to. Got that?" He whispered in her ear. His hot breath and stubble had sent a shiver down her back.

"But-"

Another fierce slap to the ass shut her up immediately. "What did I just fuckin' say? Shut your goddamn mouth!"

"Why are you-"

Simon grabbed her chin, forcing Y/N to look him directly in his eyes. Not once had she ever seen him this livid before, his anger was near palpable.

"What part of 'do not speak unless spoken to' do you not understand?" He snarled. The grip on Y/N's chin tightened a smidgen, sending a small shock to her chest.

"Since you can't learn to close that mouth of yours on your own, I guess I'll have to do it for you." Simon spouted. Y/N could swear she saw an almost sadistic smirk crawl on his face.

"Kneel."

Not wanting to disobey him, she immediately fell to her knees. Simon's abnormally large tent stared her right in the face, and to say she is terrified would be a massive understatement.

"You're a smart girl. You know what to do, and you know what'll happen if you fuck up." He glared down at her, increasing her fear tenfold.

Y/N shakily reached for Simon's bulge and caressed the outline of his thick shaft. Pulling the zipper down, she let his erection out of the confines of his pants, nearly slapping her in the face. She wrapped her small hand around his girth, and started to gently pump him. The pulsing she felt in her pussy was beginning to become uncomfortable.

She started with a slow, long lick from base to tip, peppering little kisses along the sides of Simon's cock. Leaving out breathy whimpers, Y/N opened wide and swallowed as much of him as she could manage, jerking what she couldn't fit.

Y/N closed her eyes, but snapped them open when Simon lightly popped her left cheek.

"Nope. You close your eyes again and you ain't gettin' a single drop of cum. That's the deal."

She continued to work his cock in her mouth, lidded eyes staring into Simon's. The last thing she needed was being denied one of the things she craved the most.

Her almost inaudible moans sent tiny vibrations through Simon's cock. She sucked and pumped him with gusto, not letting her stare be broken a second time. She almost forgot that her pussy was craving attention too, but as she reached her hand between her plush thighs, he pulled her off his cock with a less than pleased expression.

"Tut tut tut, that won't do either. No touching that pussy of yours unless I say so."

Y/N only responded with more tears falling and another pained whine.

"Aw, did I hurt your precious feelings?" Simon sneered. "Imagine how I felt when I saw you with König all those times..."

His mischievous grin grew wider as he violently rocked his hips into Y/N's face, forcing his entire length down her throat. She held on tight to Simon's thighs as she gagged, struggling to take him in her mouth.

"Tell you what," Simon began. "If you can hold my dick in your throat for 30 seconds, then MAYBE I'll allow you to speak..."

The pain between Y/N's legs was next to unbearable. If Simon didn't allow her to touch herself for another second, she was certain she'd die.

Thirty seconds had passed, and thankfully Y/N has been able to take Simon's cock with no trouble. When the time was up, he slowly removed her head, his length completely soaked with her saliva.

"You did so well this time." He caressed Y/N's face, wiping a few tears away. At this point, he expected her to speak up and ask for forgiveness, but she refused to utter a word.

"You can talk now." Simon lifted Y/N's head up, her glossy eyes staring back at him.

"I'm..."

"You're what? Use your words." He cocked his head to the side.

"I'm sorry..." She hung her head, facing away from Simon in shame.

"Hmmm...Maybe I'll forgive you, on one condition." He replied.

"What do you want me to do?" Her voice got quieter with each word.

"Prepare yourself, darling. Like I said earlier, you're a smart girl. And you know what'll happen if you fuck up."

---

The room was filled with the sounds of wet slaps and Y/N's pitiful cries. Her pussy was overwhelmed with pleasure, she felt like every thrust would send her over the edge.

Simon had her bent over the edge of his bed, holding her arms behind her as he brutally fucked her senseless. Touching every sensitive spot deep inside her, he wanted to hear her cry out his name and beg for his release.

"Tell me, princess. Can König make you feel this good?"

"N-No..." She breathed.

"It's a damn shame he'll never get to feel how wet and tight your cunt is. A goddamn shame..." Simon's thrusts began to quicken, becoming more fierce and rough.

"Simon, I'm close-! W-Wanna cum!"

At her words, he immediately pulled out, keeping Y/N from her prize.

"I don't think you deserve my cum, sweetie. Have you learned your lesson tonight?" He lightly soothed the tender skin of her pussy, coating his fingers with her arousal.

"Yes I have! Please, I beg you! I want you!"

"What about König?" He whispered in her ear again.

"Never! I only want you! Please let me cum!"

Simon clutched both sides of her ass cheeks and plunged deep into her sopping cunt. Shrieking, Y/N swore her cervix had been breached. She had far underestimated his size, but she did not care one bit. All she wanted was for Simon to paint her cunt white with his seed.

"Fuck-!"

The dam inside Simon finally bursts, shooting ropes of his warm, thick cum into her pussy. Y/N wailed in response, a far away look of satisfaction plastered on her face. She breathed out a sigh of relief, not only because he forgave her, but for also being left a cum filled husk in the process.

"And the next time I catch you pulling some shit like that, I'm gonna tie his ass up and fuck you in front of him. Got that?"

[truetogaia]

i saw ur post about sub!jake, imma be waiting for that fic ‼️ ur literally writing has me a chokehold bae

I'm just gonna post it answering you bc I can hihihii I LVOE U

Pairing: Sub!Jake Sully x Fem!Reader

Genre: smut, 18+

Warnings: Blowjob, strong language, explicit and mature themes, like use of "Good boy" once, I don't see how thats a warning but YK

Synopsis: Jake is needy thats all

Notes: It's 2:40 am and I JUST finished it, please excuse any bad grammar, i'll edit and fix it tomorrow *SOB* It also lowkey sucks bc IM STILL SUFFERING FROM WRITERS BLOCK IT WONT GO AWAY!!

Word count: around 600!!

Jake’s breathy moans filled your ears as you skillfully planted sloppy kisses along his neck, occasionally letting your sharp fangs drag across his hot, tender skin. His form trembled slightly beneath you, your hand busy tracing gentle shapes up and down his shaft. He mewled when you carefully ran your thumb against his slit, his hips bucking into your hand. 

You cherished these moments, adored how obedient and submissive he was, how his ears flicked around intently, listening to every word that seeped from your mouth. But the one thing that made it so satisfactory for you, was that you were able to give him pleasure. The look on his face when he finally reached his climax was etched into the walls of your memories, and you were obsessed with it. 

“Please,” his voice was croaky from the hours you had spent teasing his poor, neglected cock, “stop teasn’.. can’t take it anymore y/n- hmnn” You smiled up at him, finally wrapping your warm hands around the base of his needy length. His mouth fell ajar as your smaller hands worked his precum along his shaft, choked moans escaping his throat with each stroke. 

You placed a light peck on his angry tip, increasing the speed of your hands, before finally taking it into your wet mouth. The sounds of you gagging on his big cock made Jake’s moans increase in volume, his hands finding a place to sit on top of your braids. You swirled your tongue around his bulbous tip, which earned a loud groan from your mate. You looked up at him through your heavy eyelashes, doe eyes sparkling with stinging tears from taking so much of him, and he swore he could cum right there.

“You’re s’good to me baby, mmm, so so good..” His hips lifted from the ground subconsciously, jerking his cock further into the warmth of your hot mouth. You felt his hands grip your hair tightly, and you braced yourself. Jake was so needy, so desperate for release that you finally decided to let him take control. He began pounding his thick length into your mouth, forcing you to deepthroat him. 

His tip abused the same spot in the back of your throat with each lustful thrust of his snapping hips, and you were sure it was going to leave a bruise. “Oh baby, yes, fuck- hnghhh.. your mouth is so good-” His heavy balls slapped against your chin with each buck, thrusts turning erratic as he fucked himself deeper down your sore throat. His orgasm was approaching rapidly and he could no longer control the noises and moans leaving his mouth. 

You held out for as long as you could, but considering you couldn’t get any air with the way your nose was basically buried in Jake’s abdomen, your vision was fading bit by bit. The feeling of Jake’s hot seed finally releasing itself into your welcoming mouth made you jump. When he was finished, he slowly pulled out of your mouth.

“Sorry, baby.. I got a bit carried away. I didn't hurt you, did I?.” His eyes carried a genuine, apologetic look, and a warm smile settled on your features. You placed a hand on his thigh, lifting yourself up to stand above him. 

“No, It’s okay, love. You were a good boy anyway.” He looked up at your figure with an admiring gaze, taking in all of your ethereal curves and shapes. And just like that, his cock was rock hard again.

RAHH ITS SO BAD ONCE AGAIN IM SORRY IDK WHATS GOING ON WITH MY WRITING MMMMM IM GONNA CRY and now im going to bed goodnight ♡

[identityflawed]

feels to me like the primary division between pro and anti jedi sentiments is narrative perception. pro jedi individuals tend to adhere to the ideas that are explicitly stated by lucas himself or very clearly put out and acknowledged within the fictional universe, whereas anti jedi individuals tend to lean more into analysis of the in-betweens. they both apply real-world morals and experiences to a fictional plane (and despite its various nonfiction influences, star wars IS fictional), and they do it in such excess that it makes the majority of more level-headed fans less eager to interact in such a heated fandom.

are the jedi bad? no. the majority of them were good people doing good things, even while the sith corrupted the galaxy around them. did the jedi deserve order 66? no. anyone who says that is insane. are the jedi completely blameless in the events of the clone wars? no. they became complacent in the idea that the sith were warriors and were incapable of changing their ways in order to win, despite victory being a key part of their code. the jedi are not paragons of perfection — they are human, and humans can be ignorant. did the jedi cause anakin to fall? yes, in part. while palpatine was the primary driving force towards anakin’s destruction, the jedi’s ignorance towards both anakin’s trauma AND his burgeoning relationship with palpatine did contribute to the rise of darth vader. (i know they let palpatine and anakin interact because they were concerned that denying palpatine would cause problems in the future, though this is sourced from legends. i take that and raise you one: what kind of grandmaster uses a 10 year old as a political game piece? and even in lucas’ canon, you can’t ignore that yoda, who is said by palpatine to be about equal in his strength, failed to sense that there were sinister things afoot, and failed to discern that having anakin spy on his pseudo father figure — and yes, his manipulator — would only cause problems)

as a fan of palpatine i can say wholeheartedly that the majority of the events leading to anakin’s fall are his doing, and that palpatine is not much of a tragic character at all. if you want someone to talk about where the dark side is your CHOICE, look no further than palpatine. thats called being self aware. any pro or anti jedi who believes you can’t blame someone for something they cant control — such as anakin's past or palpatine deceiving the jedi — becomes inherently hypocritical because CONTROL is a key theme in star wars. control of your emotions, control of yourself, control of others, on political, emotional, psychological scales. anakin’s lack of control in his life was not aided by the jedi, and when he finally got the chance to choose for himself, he fucked up. bad. and it WAS his choice, at the end of the day, though the odds were stacked against him, at least in his mind. (which is another issue — anakin is a traumatized individual. trauma victims are going to act differently than what adheres to common sense and logic. an ex-slave with attachment issues and a savior complex is going to freak out if he thinks the woman he loves is going to die if he can’t save her)

people tend to forget that lucas actually SOLD his rights to the franchise away, and nowhere in the contract did disney promise to adhere to the nuances (and there are very few nuances with lucas, unfortunately) of lucasfilm's initial six movies. george lucas was not even a good writer by most standards. he inserted a lot of racist stereotypes into his films, and drew from history in both thoughtful and moronic ways. he was a product of his time, sure, and he created an incredible idea that has gone strong for 40 years, with a solid idea woven within it of compassion and hope. but it isn’t his story anymore, and he cared more about the money than the message, at the end of the day. i have a hard time agreeing with anyone — on any topic, within star wars or otherwise — if they only listen to one person as their end-all.

yes, lucas created star wars. but its not a perfect creation — it is flawed. the jedi are flawed; anakin is flawed. the progression of star wars will continue to take new views on the events of the initial six films, and guess what? that happens with EVERYTHING in the world. perspectives differ by the hour, everyone has different experiences and ideas. if you want to watch something where the morals and central ideas never change, where everything is black and white, go watch the USA's two-party debates. or maybe coco melon.

star wars is complex and nuanced at its core, nowadays, but you are none the lesser if you have differing opinions. you can believe what you want to believe, when you want to believe it. that’s freedom. you are not required to accept everything that disney puts out as canon or even remotely accurate, but the MOMENT you start to put down people (and im talking full on insulting, targeting writers, specific blog posts, bullying, etc) for thinking differently than you is the moment you have gone too far. after all, what did the sith do, and why did they do it?

[prickly-paprikash]

Don't you just hate it when one of the biggest grifters online decides to like a piece of media you like?

Gatekeeping is wrong. Forcing someone to like something in the specific way I interact and consume a piece of media is wrong. Art is meant to be viewed through a multitude of lenses, and each individual will have their own way of interpreting that creation. And that's good. That's fine. That's human.

But when an Anti-Woke Grifter who thinks alcoholism is a really cool personality trait and decides to brand everything about themselves as that; who has historically engaged and criticized films and shows and games and books in bad faith; who has put down women and POC's and Queer representation in media; who is one of the biggest dicks in the online space decides to actually pay attention to an art that is pretty much dipped, coated, laminated, and injected with fucking GAY, ANTI-PATRIARCHAL ENERGY—that's when I get mad.

For those not in the know, Critical Drinker has posted a review for Blue Eye Samurai, saying he likes it.

You know... Blue Eye Samurai?

The show that oozes Queer Wrath? Feminine Rage? Curb-Stomping Toxic Masculinity and the Patriarchy whenever and wherever it can? That Blue Eye Samurai?

See, he's done this before with Arcane.

He says he likes it. Him and his ilk say that, "Finally, the wokies have done something actually good!" and point to Vi and Jinx as strong female characters written well!

But they also say, dang, feels like all the men in that show are idiots and that they had to be dumbed down to make room for the rainbow-haired girlies brigade. Who have all remarked that Vi and Caitlyn's relationship is forced and being shoved down our throats because god forbid women like women!

I got sick of watching his Arcane review halfway, and this was before I knew what a douche Critical Sucker was.

So I ain't watching his Blue Eye Samurai review. Why?

His Glass Onion review was done in bad faith.

I didn't like She-Hulk, but that's because that show was a byproduct of abused VFX animators, creatively bankrupt executives, and writers desperately trying to manage a convoluted shared universe that continues to buckle under its own weight. Political Stinker over here thinks that it's pandering, stupid, feminist garbage. He is one of the biggest Anti-Feminist voices in Youtube.

Him and his incel brigade have an obsession over hating Captain Marvel and Brie Larson. These basement dwelling cucks rant and rave over a mediocre duology and an actress that just lives in their tiny heads rent-free.

He says that they are removing men from leading roles and roles of great importance!

So why would I want to listen to an inebriated libertarian's opinions on a show that has become the show for lesbians, trans mascs, and other lovely brands of gay and feminism that he oh so despises? He'll most likely praise the action and violence and shit like that, then probably say that Mizu and Taigen's homoerotic rivalry isn't gay actually. Or that Mizu and Akemi's narrative foils don't scream enemies-to-sapphics. Or that Mizu, WHO'S NAME MEANS WATER AND HER ENTIRE CHARACTER REVOLVES AROUND FLUIDITY ISN'T IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM FLUID IN HER GENDER AND SEXUALITY.

Fuck. I'm sorry. I don't even care if he doesn't say that. He's made so many disgusting, disparaging remarks about any piece of media that shows an inkling of progressive themes that what else am I supposed to expect?

If anyone watches it and sees this, lemme know. Watching an Anti-Woke bullshit video with just myself is just straight up wading through the desert without proper protection. No thanks.

Anyway watch Blue Eye Samurai again. Because I know you watched it. Watch it again. And again. And when you're done, watch Arcane. Watch She-Ra. Watch Dragon Prince. Castlevania. Watch anything "woke". Consume trans-positive shows. Make all the haters and even the ones who like it but have no ounce of media literacy irrelevant. Let them dry out and die, please.

[neptunes-sol-angel]

This is going to be different from my other pick a piles. Instead of using cards, I solely channeled these messages with shufflemancy. I loved doing this reading because I've always imagined myself composing music for a movie or at least deciding which songs to use for scenes if I ever got the chance to have a job in that field. While you're thinking of the scenes and how they parallel with what next year could be like for you, definitely give those songs a listen, as if they'll be in the background.

Paid Readings | Patreon | Tip Jar

Pile One 🍿

The Beginning Scene:

Provoker - Dark Angel

(That's a bad ass song for an intro!)

I see a montage of a person (the main character) arriving to a new city that has some sort of cyberpunk aesthetic. The locals aren't very welcoming to this person, but the main character isn't exactly fond of them either. It's dark and gritty despite the showcasing of colors from all sorts of gadgets, lights, and holographic displays. This place is big, with a lot to glimpse at and discover, and crowds of individuals who could potentially be a rival, enemy, lover, or even a friend.

I feel like this pile is going to be starting the new year in a different environment, possibly a new place to call home, but for a lot of you, I'm getting school. For the scene I visualized for you guys, there was this building tension that I kept feeling. Like you guys are not really happy about this new beginning, but you're here at this destination to have a more discreet life with no ties to your past. You guys could feel like a lone ranger, who's lost in life, but isn't necessarily trying to be found or have an obligation to anything. It seems like you're really looking for peace, and aren't trying to make yourself popular amongst people or make connections. I see people sizing you up to intimidate you, but they aren't aware that you aren't the one to mess with, they will though. I also see you being active in this new environment, and people boasting about how helpful and talented you are, but you aren't accepting these compliments. You guys could be dealing with an ego death at the beginning of this year and are having trouble seeing the good that people see in you, whether they're genuine people or foes. Its like you're trying to keep yourself in the dark of this new place, despite running away from your past, and this year is throwing a lot of intervention in your way to bring you out of this self-loathing mindset and to stop running away from fate.

The Middle Scene:

SWANES - Cozy

I see the main character attending a nightclub party, and the appropriate attire for entry is masquerade themed. The main character is looking for someone or something but unexpectedly encounters someone else. Someone from their past, but before they could really catch up with each other, a fight breaks out.

I'm seeing this as a lot of chaotic events that you'll have to deal with in the middle of the year to the point where it's hard for you to focus on anything or anyone else, besides a way to end all of the drama that keeps unfolding. It's like in the middle of this storm, you feel like this is its peak, but then you come across someone from the past that you absolutely don't have time for or want to be bothered by or finding a new love interest that brings you both joy and stress because it all feels like the wrong time to have them. For a lot of you, I feel like this reconciliation with someone you've either dated or never got the chance to but definitely had strong feelings for. But then again, this could really mean, finally finding someone that understands you on an intimate level in this new place that you're in, or allowing yourself to put your guard down and and be in the embrace of someone who will give you comfort for being yourself, instead of giving you more reasons to not like yourself.

The Ending Scene:

Naja Young - Brighter Days

A bittersweet sight to see. For the first time in the movie, in sadly the last scene, the main character stands in front of a golden‐amber sky instead of the clouded and dull atmosphere that they were used to seeing in the city. There's no one else around them, only them, but they're finally content and at peace, with a welcoming smile, staring out in the open, but no long moving. No longer walking or running away from anything.

The genre that I felt for this movie was action. A lot of jaw-dropping fight scenes, and cool neon futuristic weapons and stuff. So I'm getting that the year could feel like endless fighting for you guys, even if you guys are winning, there's still this exhaustion with even having to fight still. This could symbolize being tired of not fitting in with a community but could also symbolize not understanding why you can't fit in with yourself. The Scene doesn't include anyone else, because it represents the main character (you), finally ending this battle that they have within, moreover, finding and attaining peace with themselves that didn't include what they did for other people or what other people did to them. The thing about action movies is that they tend to rank lower than other genres because the fights water down the plot, so I think this means that you're still not really attached to finding or working towards your purpose this year, or even the potential drama with other people in the future, you're OK with where you are now and aren't concerned about anything other than what makes you happy. So regardless of the pain you've experienced in the past, recently, or will experience, in the future, this year will teach you how to not let it consume you or keep you in a panic of how to survive rather than how to live.

The Grammy Award Winning Scene:

Family Time - Magic Abyss Hotel

I'm seeing this fight Scene where it looks like you're losing and about to be killed, but you're smiling and chuckling? The person fighting you is confused, and that creates an opening for you. It's your rhythm while you're fighting that makes this scene the star of the movie, it's like your fighting is almost like dancing with the way it syncs with the song.

This could represent a tower moment that could feel like an inevitable end for you or maybe something that could potentially put you at rock bottom, and it just feels unbelievable. So you laugh because this isn't how you envisioned your end to be, but I feel like the irony of it gives you strength to keep pushing and know that it's not over for you and you won't go out from what you're currently facing. The main character (you) creates visual of what's familiar to everyone which is resilience, but also an inspiration of what triggers a person to keep fighting for their life.

Pile Two 🍿

The Beginning Scene:

Winter - Bonsai

I see the main character being a famous musician in a band performing in front of a huge crowd of people. They're really feeling what they're singing and playing on their instrument that you would think it's real, but it's not. This is a dream. They know that though. It's an awesome dream that they have most of their nights of sleeping, it's just painful when they have to wake up. But they wake up, and then they carry on with with their normal life that isn't as colorful and exciting as the dream that they were in.

I feel like at the beginning of the new year, you will feel like it's any other year, where it's the same stuff and you are no longer expecting anything to change or get better. This could make your attitude appear very nonchalant, but inside you're actually angry over how can reality be so monotonous. As you're reading this, you probably won't believe my word, but I have a feeling that this year could actually be the one where you experience a different tune, something life changing, but only this time, will there be positive transformations. I must add though, that this doesn't mean you won't face anything bad or that the year will be 100% good, but I do see improvement that will make you pleased. If you guys are maladaptive dreamers, you could experience a lot of deja vu in the beginning of the year. Where the opportunities and people that you meet aren't as exaggerated like in the scenarios that you imagine, they will still scarily resemble too much of the things that you wished for or dreamed of experiencing. The start of your year, could be the opposite of boredom that you were expecting. It will start off eventful, that could be overwhelming to keep up with, but I feel like it will only be the tip of the ice berg. Momentum for something exciting that'll give you that new start you were craving, but most importantly, real.

The Middle Scene:

Saskatchewan - Venom

I see someone in front of a computer, looking for answers, but are heavily frustrated with what they can't find. I see them moving onto books and old articles, but still they can't find anything. Then I see them in front of a mirror, with tears falling down their face. They're just not sure about something anymore. I see a scene of this person trying on makeup that changes their looks drastically, but it doesn't satisfy them, so they immediately wipe it off. I see another scene of them shaving their head, but it's the same result. Another, where they're getting a piercing, but no luck. Last, a scene where they get a tattoo, but futile. And then, the person is back in front of their mirror, eyes red from crying, and then they grab something to shatter the mirror with.

There could be something about your existence that's bothering you. This feels like imposter syndrome, or not quite figuring out what's dragging you down and making you feel like there's something missing. Or maybe you'll come across some new information about yourself or your family that you weren't expecting, that shatters who you've always known yourself to be. Maybe you're haunting yourself with things from the past that make you overthink about where you fit in with people or what about you just doesn't resonate with people anymore. Maybe you're losing friends or even broke up with someone, but this seems a lot about blaming yourself for what you've lost, or why you don't feel cut out for a project or role thag you were chosen for. This could also symbolize stress over school or work, where you question if you're good enough for something or if signs are showing you to change your route. I definitely see you recovering from this phase of uncertainty, but for a lot of you, the solution is to move on to something else that makes you more sure of yourself without any pressure, or away from people that discourage you about your dreams because of an unconventional calling or path that you're on.

The Ending Scene:

The Macho Ache - How Did I Get Here

I see the main character (you) in their own place, somewhere that they're proud to call home. The place is cluttered with beautiful Christmas decorations. There's this huge window with a beautiful view of a city, probably somewhere that they've always wanted to live in. They're dancing in front of that window, in front of that skylight view, with stars in the background, twinkling just like the main character who has now finally become their own star in reality, not a dream.

I see success. Success that the main character (you) wasn't expecting, that feels like night and day compared to last year. They are happy. You are happy. You're overwhelmed with how much your life has changed but it's different from the kind that you were experiencing earlier in the year, this feels like like relief that didn't seem possible.

The Grammy Award Winning Scene:

Surf Curse - Labyrinth

I see the main character driving with an adrenaline rush that's emphasized in their eyes. They've had enough and are madly driving driving away from people. This could be from a job that they've quit, their parents, a friend or group of friends, or a lover. The main character is slowly breaking down crying as they're still driving away, but eventually they start crying happy tears.

This Scene represents the pain and grief after someone makes a decision that they didn't want to make but feel as if they needed to. The Scene represents regret after walking alway from someone that they've known for the longest but can no longer handle anymore hurt from them. The sad tears could represent their life flashing in their mind with these individuals, both happy and sad memories, and this pulling feeling that wants them to stay because it's familiar, but the happy tears symbolize that what's done is done, and the joy from their emancipation.

Pile Three 🍿

The Beginning Scene:

Ordinary Child - Float On

I see the main character in an aftermath of the world as we knew it, destroyed. They're the last human. They're laying down on what's left of a rooftop, staring up in a daze, at the sky filled with aurora lights.

At the very beginning of this year, you could be fearful of what's to come because you're still processing all that has happened to you in 2022. For you, you just don't feel right about this year, as if the world is ending, so you could be disassociating a lot. Or maybe you're confused about your surroundings. How people can still go off living their lives when there's so much going on in the world, so it's like you're anticipating something and you're just wondering when other people will catch up. You could be internalizing too much of the world's pain, so I'm seeing that there could be lessons brought to you on how to place boundaries with how much you're feeling from other people and situations, but reminders to stop moving so fast trying to find out how everything is going to end, because you have a life that still needs to be lived now. Maybe you're also being nudged with experiences that bring you back to appreciating what life has to offer now, but it doesn't move you completely. It seems like you'll feel like a ghost. Nothing makes you feel much anymore or everything around you just doesn't feel real.

The Middle Scene:

Easy Life - Wet Weekend

I'm seeing the main character encountering an alien that arrived on earth as a new home. They're just as confused as the main character, but the main character puts their guard down, and shows the alien around earth despite what has been destroyed.

I'm picking up that you could be around younger individuals. There's a baby, child, or someone that's around your age who's naive that you'll meet and be around a lot. Somehow, you're both learning a lot from each other, but most importantly, this is making you regain your humanity or at least faith in humanity. Because I was getting maybe a baby or child, they could represent a newfound perspectives and appreciation for living, and allowing yourself to recieve and give. This could also mean using your knowledge and awareness to find inspiration for a new lifestyle or philosophy. There's something about your beliefs changing a lot in this part of your year, where you're no longer obsessing over other people's enlightenment or lack thereof, but focusing on how there's still much to learn than just concluding that the point in life is to die and that's it. You could also find newer communities to be in, that will put you at ease, and make you have more fun.

The Ending Scene:

Slchild - Maybe We Need a Break

After separating from your alien friend due to an argument or one of you guys being captured. You guys are reunited again, and are walking together with your shadows signifying the strength of your friendship.

For some reason, I feel like this represents feeling like yourself again. Like no longer feeling outside of your body with no confusion over your life and why things happen the way that they do. You're feeling very whole even amongst the people that you couldn't understand before. I'm getting that you're also no longer caring about your pace by realizing that we all move at different tempos. This could also mean no longer feeling like the world is out to get you, and there are other people who share similar traumas that you've faced, despite what they look like on the outside. I also interpret this as creating something that substantial that surpasses time and death. This can be finding new friends and "family" and making memories with you that they will always remember and keep close, or this could represent strong progress in healing through grief that you've been experiencing with a loved one that died. People may not live forever, or happiness may not be a constant thing, but you're learning how to immortalize things that you love about living or that you loved about someone who passed away.

The Grammy Award Winning Scene:

VACATIONS - Steady

The main character (you) is scavenging through old remnants and belongings of people that didn't survive the apocalypse. They're mourning over both people that they've known and haven't even met.

I feel like grief is a big message in this pile. Grieving through your loss for wanting to life, grieving through dreams you may have missed out on, grieving through people that you've lost to death or other reasons. This is a powerful scene for the audience that knows what it's like to have feelings of emptiness and no idea left on where to go. I feel like if this pile is going through a loss, please know that you will get through this, even if it feels endless. I feel like the year of 2023, will evoke the recovery that you need to find your way back into the world again.

[kaycode1999]

hi heard you were doing some match ups and i was wondering if u could do me one

For starters, im a demisexual girl, still debating if im bi or simply a straight ally(in that case i'd kindly ask for a male counterpart), i don't want to be shipped with mk, mei, sandy, tang,pigsy bc i only see them as friends, and ao lie bc i already got him two times

i struggle with anxiety, abandonment, self worth and attachment issues and am currently working on my insomnia

Im a really sensitive person(tho not to the point of crying)my familly calls me a litteral drama queen

I sometimes feel like a useless third wheel, i rarely get angry at anything and always get along with anyone, my friends to confuse my goofy,friendly and open minded behavior for naivety and stupidety and i really hate it

For my aesthetic: i guess im a bit of everything depending on my mood, i like it when it matches, tho i do prefer hardcore colors like fushia, purple and dark blue, i also wear some moon and star themed jewelry i make myself

Im an ambivert, i socialize pretty well but prefer alone times

My love languages is physical affection(im not too clingy since i value personal space and boundaries more), words of affirmation, flirting lots of flirting and quality time and for me communication is the key, i don't really have a type but i am looking for someone loyal, who will love me and my insecurities and will accept that im badly crazy sometimes

i like drawing, mythology, reading, writing poems, painting, listening to music depending on my mood, studying dark entities(wich freaks my parents out), walking in the city(during night time),and i have a weird habit of collecting bird skull

I match you with

Macaque

The good thing is he knows first hand what its like to deal with anxiety, abandonment, self worth, attachment issues and feeling like a useless third wheel. Which means he has special knowledge of how to help you through it and/or do what he can to make sure he's never the cause of those feelings

With everything that's happened in his past, he actually views your demeanor as strong and intelligent. In his mind it takes no effort or intelligence to be cynical and mean, it's easy to do- but being friendly and kind shows your strength of character. ( Don't let him hear your friends putting you down for it or protective mode is ACTIVATED)

It simultaneously makes his heart swell with pride and makes him super flustered to see you wearing moon-themed anything because he compares himself to the Moon and Wukong to the Sun. (Please make him some matching ones he would love it😭)

Poor Monkey is honestly affection starved so he's not used to any of it. He's so thankful that you want to give him affection even though it makes him flustered. Its so cute though, his face gets so red with any kind of affection its adorable

Person B: what is this?

Person A: affection

Person B: disgusting

Person B:

Person B: do it again

This has actually happened before 😂😂

He never imagined he'd be lucky enough to be with you, so trust me once he is he's never leaving

He loves going on walks with you at night, he also finds the skull thing interesting

If you’re having trouble getting to sleep he’ll do whatever you want to help, just talking about random stuff or humming or just generally being there for you

[fraugwinska]

A gift for the wonderful @minkdelovely - I know you like fluff, I hope it's okay if there's a little (okay, a heaping scoop of) angst in the beginning. I recommend listening to Heavenly by Cigarettes after Sex, which was the inspiration and companion song for this! <3 Love you all!

TW: Thoughts of suicide, Dark themes - Minors DNI - 3.1k words

Lucifer stood on the edge of the roof, the sun was just setting over the horizon, tinting Pentagram city, his capitol, in all shades of red, purple and midnight blue. In between, neon signs, trash fires and gunshots sparkled throughout the streets, spreading an aura of chaos and corruption that had followed Lucifer ever since he fell.

Every night since he moved into the hotel, nearer to Charlie, nearer to the heart of the city, he came up here, staring down and thinking, sometimes for hours. The palace had been comfortably far away from it all, isolated. But here he was confronted by what he caused, every minute of every day, and it felt like falling over and over again to see it from so up close.

Every human's suffering, the result of his good intentions, the consequence of him taking that fatal step, was looking back at him now with its ugly face, as the king of sinners. Every vile and despicable creature the living world spat out was now under his dominion, and it felt harder and harder not to hate them and himself for what his big dreams and wishes for the people on earth had led to. His eyes wandered from building to building, looking but not seeing. The air was heavy with the smell of sulfur, smoke and sweat. A distant bang rang out. Lucifer swallowed, trying not to think of what it would mean if he would let his instincts take control and just take a step forward. It was futile.

"Up here again, your highness?"

Lucifer closed his eyes. The voice behind him was laced with humming static, its tone subtly condescending, something that was always present when Alastor spoke to him, even after Charlie forced a truce between them and made them both promise to be at least civil with each other.

It was funny, this... thing he had with Alastor. A Push and Pull. Tide and Rise. Burning and Freezing. Their every conversation had been a balancing act, a war for superiority disguised as banter. Still was, in a way. Both men not backing down, driving the other to their limits - in patience, in civility. To say that he liked the deer demon was... debatable. Or it would be, if their sparring wasn't so infuriatingly... freeing. After all the years of emotional numbness after Lillith had left, a numbness even Charlie wasn't able to really penetrate, Alastor managed to do just that. Ignite a fire in him - at first, only anger. But still, a feeling. One so strong it made Lucifer feel really alive again, in a way he had almost forgotten.

He didn't acknowledge the radio demon, keeping his eyes on the city, as the last light of the sun vanished beyond the skyline.

Silently, he listened to the deer's shoes, the hollow sounds of his footsteps against the roof tile, walking towards him. They stopped.

"One might assume you came up here to brood and look gloomy like a child who got scolded.", the deer said, casually, "That sure makes for a dreary and boring image."

Lucifer, still not looking back, turned his head to the left, then to the right. Shrugged his shoulders.

"Hm. Seems like nobody asked for your opinion."

Lucifer listened, as Alastor took another few steps. He was standing right next to him, arms crossed behind his back, looking straight ahead into the dark night. A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, not fully amused, was playing around the edge of his mouth. The devil furrowed his brows, but refrained from looking directly into Alastor's eyes.

"So..." the radio demon started, "Aren't you gonna tell me what keeps you here every night, toiling away your mind? Or are you just enjoying to watch your humble subjects revel in their sins?"

"The fact that you know I'm up here every night makes you nothing less than a stalker, you know?" Lucifer said tonelessly, without real energy to bite back at the sinner next to him.

"I'm just doing my job as host, my liege. Keeping a close eyes on the inhabitants of the hotel and making sure they are taken care of." Alastor answered, badly hiding the mockery behind his words.

"Your concern is noted.", Lucifer sighed, sarcasm thick in the air between them, "But even if I'd wanted to talk to anyone, and believe me, I don't, you wouldn't even make the top ten on the list. So please, just... leave."

"How harsh." Alastor turned to look at him, the colors of hell's dusk reflecting in his scarlet eyes, "Granted, when you usually seek me out at night the last thing on your mind is talking."

For the first time in this conversation, Lucifer's well-kept facade crumbles. A mix of guilt and shame flashed across his pale features, and in a quick motion, his tail flicked side-to side. He remained silent.

The mention of his repeated... misdeeds with the radio demon hung in the air, almost tangibly so, the implications of it raising goosebumps on Lucifer's skin. What should've been a one-time mistake, fueled by too much alcohol and a much needed release of the ever-growing tension with the deer demon had become a common occurrence, a bad habit, furiously hidden and kept secret. As if they both needed more reason to hate and mock each other, their primal needs got in the way. The fact that he could barely stand Alastor's attitude on any given day and his unruly need to make every move he did seem condescending made things that much worse when he found himself knocking at his door in the evenings, knowing all to well the answer he would give, once the deer asked if he was here to fuck or to fight. It had been a painful and bitter pill to swallow that it wasn't, in fact, the latter, but instead they always ended up on Alastor's bed, with his ass in the air and the radio demon pounding him into the mattress until Lucifer finally found some silence and stillness, his persistent, dark thoughts stopping for the length of a few blissful seconds.

"What do you want, Alastor?", Lucifer muttered, breaking the tense silence, looking into Alastor's eyes now. He sounded tired, but he knew how persistent the overlord could be, too, and Alastor's constant stare and unmoving presence did not leave space for ignorance.

"I already stated what I want. And I really do hate to repeat myself, but I suppose for the king, I can make an exception." Alastor stated quietly, adjusting his monocle. "I'd like an answer to my question: Why do you keep coming up here?"

Lucifer furrowed his brows, before releasing a snorting laugh, lacking humor, "As if you'd really care. You just want some ammunition for another jab at me, deer."

"You dodging the question twice does not equal an answer, your majesty." Alastor retorted, closing his eyes with a strained smile, "And even though you're technically a politician, I was under the assumption that their inherent beating-around-the-bush tactics are below you. And I'd hate to be wrong about that."

Lucifer put the hands on his back to keep his tail from moving. Damn that stupid, stupid deer. He wanted to avoid this very conversation, or better said, this confrontation, by all means. He didn't want to say out loud what he could barely contain inside. So far, it seemed to work fine to keep his suffering and his weakness behind a thin veil of pretending that no, everything's fine, everything's under control, he isn't gravely depressed to a point where he...

"Look at me." Alastor spoke again, firm, commanding. Almost kind.

Lucifer sucked a sharp breath through his teeth as the deer walked a few paces in front of him, tilting his head slightly, putting his hand onto Lucifer's chin and forcing him to look into his eyes, pupils shining bright red against his glowing irises, "Tell me what I could already see written all over your face."

Suddenly, everything started rushing inside his mind, and his heart raced, every memory he repressed and avoided to this moment flooding to the surface, swallowing him whole. Everything was too much, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't escape, frozen in place... He almost missed the second sentence, a lot softer this time: "... Tell me what I already know."

Before he even realized what he was doing, Lucifer had put his head into Alastor's chest, tears blurring his vision and throat burning with a suppressed cry. Beneath them, the streets erupted into madness. There were gunshots and crashes and people fighting all around them. Nothing was alright. Nothing had been right since that fatal day when he had fallen, and never could again be. His whole life had been one big, spiraling tragedy, a sad and hopeless endeavor to achieve something that was never meant to be archived, everything he dreamed about since he was created so close and yet out of his reach.

For a terrifying moment, he thought Alastor would pull back, take his face out of his shirt, a condescending laugh and some ridiculing remark waiting for him afterwards. The grip around his shoulders said something else, as the deer demon put his arms around him, keeping him close to his chest in a such an unexpected comforting manner that somehow hurt in its unfamiliarity. It's been so long since he last found comfort and consolation, from someone...

"I'm sick of this." he whispered hoarsely into the red, much too soft fabric, unable to look back into the others piercing gaze.

"Hmm?"

Lucifer breathed in and out, his breaths sounding ragged and unsteady, trying to get back some sort of self control.

"I'm sick of all of this. I can't stand all those sinners in there, using the excuse of hell's inevitable corruption as an invitation to live their most horrible dreams, celebrating it as... success. Doing horrible, monstrous things with no fear of consequences."

His knees gave in, and he would've toppled down to the ground - but two long, slender arms held him upright, pressing his body firmly against their owner, feeling the hard, strong form of Alastor's slim figure. The heat coming from the deer demon's body felt soothing on his cheeks and the faint hum of his inherent static energy calming in his ears, drowning out the violent noises of the pentagram.

"Even with one successful redemption, the majority of them won't be leaving anyway. They won't line up in front of the hotel like Charlie believes, and I can't tell her, can't... disappoint her like that. She's so convinced, so determined, her heart's in the right place but..." Lucifer exhaled loudly, shaking, trying and failing to formulate his next words.

"... But her ideals and the reality are as different as... as hell and heaven. Fuck, I should know. I've tried before, and look what came out of it. Look what my big dreams and magnificent ideals for humans created. My big fucking legacy!" Lucifer laughed out, voice breaking, finally lifting his head from Alastor's chest to turn and face him, the movements frantic and restless, "How can I tell anyone that every day feels like torture? That every single minute in this place reminds me of my failure? Because I can never escape my fucking failures! It's everywhere! And I come up here, and look at it, and I just want to... just want to..."

He couldn't say it. He simply couldn't form the word, because if he did, if it was out in the open... what would hold him together then? His hands cramped around Alastor's forearms, teeth grinding to the point where it hurt as he struggled to breathe. But then there was a hand in his hair, long fingers softly combing through his blonde, almost golden locks, nails faintly scraping over his scalp, ending on the nape of his neck. The sensation made him draw in a breath, air filling his aching lungs. He exhaled with a shudder, sinking his head in shame.

"...Just want to... to die, Alastor. I just want to die."

It was out. He had finally said it, the confession, the admission he had withhold from them all. And now the weight of it crushed down on him. Hung over him like the sword of Damocles.

"I know. I've known it for a while." Alastor murmured, the hand in his hair still moving, "I've watched you these last few weeks. Your... condition is rather obvious to someone who pays attention."

Lucifer closed his eyes again, tired. He was so, so tired. "Let me have it, then."

The hand stilled in his hair, crackled white noise popping around him "Have what?"

"The ridicule. The mockery, the scorn... all of it. I know you think I'm pathetic, I can't wait to hear about you gloating how right you..."

"Not tonight." Alastor interrupted him, tone so calm and serious, Lucifer had to look up to him, finally meeting his eyes in search for maliciousness, for calculation. He didn't find any, just a smile that seemed so much sadder than he thought. "We can resume to our inimical antagonism tomorrow, Lucifer. But not tonight. For tonight, let me be the one you find comfort in."

Alastor's words were so... unlike him, so gentle and careful, the complete opposite of what he was used to from him. Lucifer didn't know how to feel about that. But when the deer put his forehead against his own, a hand gently caressing his back, Lucifer couldn't bring himself to move away, couldn't find the strength to refuse what was offered so temptingly - ignoring the irony of it all - so he let himself lean into the touch, let Alastor guide him onto his mouth into a kiss.

In all those times they've never kissed before. There had been no room nor reason for him for something as sentimental as kisses. Lucifer just sneaks to Alastor's door, gets fucked until he can barely walk anymore, and leaves unseen before anything other than a shameful look and a nod can be exchanged. The feeling of his mouth, so rough and warm against his, lips sliding inexperiencedly against his own, was almost as confusing as it was overwhelming.

Alastor pulled him back, separating them both, and Lucifer's lips, now moist and burning, were already missing the touch. The radio demon tilted his head at him with hooded eyes, before he turned to look over the darkening city again.

"Eternity is a long time to be spent with punishing yourself for mistakes you might've made." he said, quietly, his hair slowly swaying in a sudden, warm breeze of hell's night air. "What's done is done. Regrets cannot change the course history has already written. But your daughter is adamant of taking the quill and writing a better future, and wouldn't all this time on your hands not be better spent aiding her hand as she does?”

The silence between them hung heavy and thick as Lucifer waited to answer, collecting his words, voice raw.

"As if I can make a difference. I'm no better as a dad than I am as a king."

A strange, foreign expression formed on Alastor's sharp features, looking pensive, almost vulnerable in an uncharacteristic way. It disappeared as fast as it came, however, leaving his grin to shine bright in the shadows of hell's dusk.

"Then become one. Use the time she is willing to offer to earn it. Charlie hasn't given up on you, not as her father nor as a ruler. Shouldn't you reciprocate the sentiment?" he asked, his expression as inquisitive as it was reassuring.

Lucifer stared at him with wide eyes. Alastor wasn't wrong. Charlie hadn't given up on him, or anything in general. Her resolve was unbreakable, and it seemed to be exactly what this place needed. A dreamer, fiercely defending her ideas, fighting to better what was broken. And if he stood behind her, she, unlike him all those centuries ago, wouldn't fight alone. She would have his help, along with Maggie's, and the other ones whose names always slipped his mind, but... maybe with Charlie... maybe there was a way, maybe it wasn't all hopeless...

A small flame of hope ignited inside his chest, flickering and faint but warming his being. All this time he spent trapped inside his memories, too caught up in the past he forgot the future was right there, already blooming under Charlie's hand. And he was present to not only see it, but to be part of it, if he would let go of what was already long lost, and learning to see the light of what was not yet burnt down to ashes.

"Yeah." he croaked, wiping away the remnants of his dried tears from his cheeks, a tiny grin on his lips as he leaned his head back onto Alastor's warm, firm chest, glancing over the nights sky, heaven glowing in burning white in the far distance. "Yeah. Maybe you're right. What are the odds?"

"You'd be surprised. I tend to be right about most things, actually."

Lucifer watched Alastor from the corners of his eyes, letting his gaze wander over his sharp features and never-faltering grin that was now drawn into a softer, closed-lipped smile.

He was an enigma, that one. He was arrogant, pretentious, manipulative, grating on Lucifer's ego and composure with a vehemence that bordered to purposeful. But he also had an astounding willpower, an unbelievable capability to change the destinies of those around him - one way or another. He had no qualms about running his mouth to him to the point where Lucifer had to keep his angelic form to overtake him and blow him into oblivion, when hours later he also had no ne to bend him over his bed and wordlessly fill him to the brim with his cum. And this side, this... softer side, where he, against all logic, didn't take the chance to tear him down when he found Lucifer in a weak moment, but built him up, showing a tenderness he didn't deem possible... it made his chest hurt in a way it didn't for many, many years – a sweet, aching pain he could come to crave.

"It's getting quite late." Alastor said, breaking him out of his train of thought, his hands now resting on his lower back, "You should retreat to your quarters now."

Lucifer grabbed the hands that were about to let go of him, already on their way to withdraw, and put them back where they rested before, pressing himself even more into the deer demons lithe body. "If you'll come with me."

Alastor rose a brow, his expression slightly hardening, "So we're done talking now, your highness?"

He didn't miss the implication, along with the underlying tone of Alastor's words, already trying to distance itself, loosing the warmth it had just minutes ago. But he just smiled at him, meeting the dimming eyes of the overlord with his own, newly ignited ones, his tail gently wrapping itself around one of Alastor's legs. Whatever this has been, he wanted to preserve it, just a little longer. And, if he could, if he would let him, return his tenderness, if only this once before they returned to the Status Quo.

"No Alastor. Not tonight."

[vase-of-lilies]

No Tears Left to Cry

❀ Possesive!Bucky Barnes x Reader (F)

❀ Warnings: Established kidnapping, captivity, NON-CON DUB-CON, dissociation, toxic relationship, manipulation, dacryphilia (aroused by someone else crying), restraints, bondage (shibari - the picture linked looks similar but just the other leg is down not tied up:)), BDSM themes, swimming in a lake, threats of drowning, drugging, lying, gaslighting, mind games that you should not play with other people, oral (f receiving), edging, skin carving with a knife (if there are more, please let me know!)

❀ Word Count: 3k

❀ A/N: This is a middle-ish story to that ties together with Coming Home To You! I would recommend reading Coming Home to You first!!!! I got this idea from a suggestion on AO3 (which has MUCH more feedback than Tumblr...) and I am really excited to write this and get everyone's opinions:)

It was you, but less. Your skin lost its color, your hair had gotten thinner, and your walk had less pep in it. Of course, when Bucky brought you here, you didn’t expect him to make you stay. With different intentions, you would have loved to stay forever. Once he started getting selfish, and needy, you were scared. When you didn’t listen to him or rebelled against him, the wrath you had to face from him was unimaginable. 

On the first day, it was like any other day. You had gone down to the lake and had such a wonderful time! Just down the road was a beautiful secluded lake all to yourself and Bucky. As you stepped out onto the dock with him, he wrapped his arms around your waist and sighed. "It's so nice to be out here alone with you, away from everyone else." He whispered, kissing up the back of your neck and to your ear.

"It's beautiful up here, Buck. Are Steve and the others coming up later?" You had asked curiously, genuinely thinking that it would be a retreat up to the cabin with everyone.

"No, sweetheart. It's just us. Forever."

You chuckled at his wistfulness and turned around in his arms, nuzzling into his chest. With a maneuver that Natasha had taught you, you easily shifted you and Bucky over the edge and into the cool water below. You laugh heartily and swim over to him, kissing his lips softly as you float together.

It was what anyone wanted in that moment. Alone, in the woods with the one person you love. But Bucky had darker intents than just a weekend get away.

On Monday, the day he said you would be leaving back to New York, he had purposly slept in. You were all packed and ready to go, trying to wake him up. "Come on, sweetheart, just two more hours, wanna hold you." He said as you tried to drag him out of bed. He was much to strong for you, and pulled you into the bed with him, holding you close to him.

"Baby, I have work tomorrow. I already told Clay that I would work overtime this week since I was going out of town." You explained. The mention of your co-worker made Bucky tense up, grasping a tighter hold on you. "I already talked to Clay... and he said you're good for the week." Your brows furrowed, that doesn't sound like Clay.

Lie number one.

"Bucky, h-he wouldn't just let me off the hook. Im his only receptionist."

He rolls his eyes and flips you over onto your back. He gently cups your cheeks and says, "And you're only going to be here another week, so he said it was fine. I wanted to surprise you with a couple more days so we could really feel like we were here forever."

Lie number two.

You smiled at the sudden surprise, and tilted your head. "He really said I could stay another week?" He nodded at your question, and kissed your head.

"I promise, baby. I wouldn't lie to you."

Lie number three.

You took his word for it and relaxed into him, laying on his chest as he cradles your body against his. With the next week to yourselves, Bucky took that opportunity to drill the bars into the windows and install the locks on all of the doors. While you were on the doc, you heard his footsteps behind you and you turned.

"Why don't you come inside, love? It's getting chilly, you look cold." He says, and you try to protest but he's already began to clean up your blanket and the drink he made you. As you stand up, you're hit with a wave of dizziness. Tears stung your eyes as you look to the empty cup in Bucky's hands.

"Wh-what did you d-" your sentence is cut short as you stumble forward away from Bucky. He watches you pitifully crawl away, dirt getting under your fingernails as you drag yourself further away from him.

"Y/n, lets go inside. You look very ill." He says, kneeling in front of your form. Tears roll down your cheeks as you look up at his smiling, god-forsaken face. You whimper as he flips you over, gently picking you up. Your limbs feel like they weigh two tons, but Bucky picks you up like you are nothing.

As the world around you turns to black, your last thoughts consume you. "He lied to me... he hurt me... he's going to kill me..."

~~~~~~~

By the time you woke up, it was dark outside and dimly lit in the bedroom where you reside. Not in the bed though. Before you could open your eyes, a rough yet gentle hand ghosted its way across your stomach, and around to your back. You were standing up? It felt like you were in a swaying ship, rocking back and forth as the waves hit the sides, but you were stationary, in the cabin where Bucky is keeping you.

Once your eyes fluttered open, you were eye to eye with Bucky. Who is much taller than you. It was when you moved that you realized you couldn't; with your arms suspended above and behind your head, your right leg had been tied with a rope at the knee, hoisted up pulling your legs apart. Your left leg was kept tied at the ankle connected to a small ring on the ground, your toes barely grazing the hardwood floors beneath them.

He had tricked you, drugged you, and suspended you like a puppet that he is the master of. You tried to speak, but your voice was muffled by the very bandanna you gave Bucky when he began riding his motor cycle. You thought it would be good luck and a token of your love for him.

"Shh, don't talk love. I need you to listen to me." Salty tears fell down your cheeks, and Bucky was fast to wipe them away with his thumbs as he cupped your head in his big hands. Forced to look at him, you let him continue.

"You were too distracted by work, and that man you call a work-husband and I needed you to focus on your actual husband. He won't know you're gone, and no one is going to help you. You are here with me forever." He kissed your gagged lips, and ran his fingers over your perked nipples that sat perfectly with your bound breasts.

He talked to you as you hung helplessly. "Im going to make you feel so good, my love. You won't ever want to leave. You're not ever going to leave." His lips moved down the valley of your breasts and down passed your navel. His large hands kneaded your ample ass, and he pulled your hanging body closer to him.

As he got to your folds, he licked a long stripe down your slit, focusing on your bundle of nerves nestled right at the top. A choked moan left your throat, and more tears fell down your cheeks. "Keep crying baby girl, its making me all hot and bothered..." he joked. You shook your head, but was unable to make him stop.

His fingers teased your entrance and he pushed two straight into you. Sucking in a breath, you whimper at the sudden intrusion. Bucky was quick to ease you by sucking hard on your clit, his tongue swirling in just the right way that made you see white. You tried your best not to moan and give into him, but you failed too quick for your liking.

His stubble burned your inner thighs in just the right way, and when Bucky slapped your ass it made it even better. You allowed yourself to be eaten like a full course meal, no matter how much you hated it.

"Fuck baby girl, you taste so fucking good," he moans beneath you, lapping at your cunt like a starved man. You slick sticks to his lips as he continues to eat you out and it turns you on. Once again, you hated it.

As you felt the rising of your orgasm in your belly, he smirked and pulled away at the last second. You whined when he did not let you cum, and you looked at him as he stood up. "You will cum when I want you to..." He said dangerously, in a voice you knew very well. You nodded in shame and sniffled as he knelt back down and started devouring you again.

You closed your eyes, and allowed him to make you feel good. It was true, he did make you feel good, amazing even. And he treated you like the queen of all goddesses. Even in a time like this, you still felt loved and held by him.

As the feeling of your orgasm formed once again, he pulled away for a split second to say "Cum for me baby, be a good girl and let go." You obeyed him and he unraveled you as you came. He smiled against your cunt and continued to suck hard on your clit as your orgasm ensued.

Once he felt your little bud flutter at the sense of touch, he pulled away. He wiped his mouth and kissed up your body, taking a nipple into his mouth, and followed the rest of your body up to your lips. "You're safe with me, I promise." He kissed a tear off of your cheek and left his lips on your head for a second.

You knew you were safe with him, but it didn't feel like it. He was possessive and when he got possessive, it terrified you. You tried to talk, and he allowed you to pulling the gag from your mouth and around your neck.

"Wh-why," You whimpered, looking at him with sadness and betrayal in your eyes. "Why are you doing this? D-did you hurt anybody?"

He sighed "You are too kind hearted to be out there all alone my love. Don't you see that? The people who are hurt deserve it, especially the people who hurt you. All you need to know is everything is taken care of, and you have nothing to worry about. Ok?"

With no energy to fight, you only nodded and looked down. You sighed in relief as you felt Bucky walk behind you and begin untying your hands. He lowered you to the floor, and as he continued to untie the knots around you, you were scheming. You were not going to stay here like he wanted you to. And you were not going to listen to him no matter how harsh the punishments or consequences are.

"How about you lay down while I make dinner? It's your favorite too. I got the ingredients just for you." He said with a smile, untying the last little bit of rope around your legs. You decided to play his little game, and smiled up at him.

"Thank you, honey, th-that's really kind of you." You say cautiously, not wanting to anger him in any way. He helped you up and you stumbled a little bit, your legs still getting used to being on the ground again. You lean against him and he helps you sit down on the bed. You frown as you see a long chain connected to the wooden leg of the bed, on the end a large metal cuff.

He reached for your leg and you took this opportunity to kick him hard in the face. Blood spews from his mouth as he stumbled back and you made a run for the door. You had jumped over his reaching arm and beelined to the front door. When you got there, you noticed a new addition to the knob. It was a thumb sensor and a pin pad. The bastard talked to Stark? You knew this technology anywhere.

Bucky's booming footsteps made their way out of the bedroom and came closer to you. Before you could think, you were struggling and kicking as his arms wrapped around you, picking you up and pulling you outside of the house. On the side of the cabin was a weather shelter, and he pulled on the doors and threw you down the stairs. You landed on your back, scraping your exposed skin on the little rocks and pebbles that were scattered across the ground.

You screamed in pain, and tried scooting away from the now very angry Bucky. Your bloody back met a solid stone wall and your eyes met Bucky's piercing blue ones. "You little bitch.... I cared for you, I gave you pleasure, I was going to make your favorite fucking dinner! And this is how you repay me??" He shouted at you, making you cower. You didn't dare move, or say anything as he rummaged around the dimly one-lightbulb-lit room.

"All I do- no all I did and continue to do for you, I get a kick in the face. Such an ungrateful little shit!" You, Bucky and even God knew you screwed up. You ruined what solid chance of safety you would have gotten with Bucky and you would soon find out the consequences.

He dragged a white folded table to the middle of the room and grabbed you by the hair. He pulled you to the table and pulled out his six-shooter antique revolver from his pocket. He pointed it at your head and ordered you to lie down on your back. You listened to him, horrified. He grabbed the rough rope from the ground and began tying each limb to the legs of the table, securing your body to the top.

"This is what you deserve, Y/n, this is what you deserve for not being grateful for everything I do for you!" He yelled, making you flinch and look away from him. He pulled his favorite knife from his belt and flipped it open. He straddled your hips and held his hand over your stomach keeping you still.

"You. Are. Mine. Y/n. You are MINE." It took everything in you not to scream as his knife carved into your skin. You failed and your vocal chords ripped themselves apart as Bucky meticulously and strategically etched into your skin.

"Pl-please! I'll I- I'll be go- ah!!!! Ill be good!!! Please!! Ill be good!!!" You sobbed, but it fell on deaf ears. Bucky pulled the bandanna around your mouth again, and you immediately bit into the fabric to take the pain away. Once he was done with you, he had drawn what he called a "masterpiece" on your torso.

"Property of James Buchanan Barnes." Was jagged and bleeding along your waistline, and "JBB" was carved in more jagged letters between your breasts. You were tired and scared, but emotionless as you stared up at the light. Passed the light, passed the roof, and into a place you would rather be.

He got off of you and stood above you at the head of the table. He squeezed your cheeks together and growled, "Next time you misbehave, it's going to be cement on your feet and I'll throw you in the fucking lake. Understand?" You don't answer, your silence is enough of an answer for him. Your mind was somewhere else, anywhere else but here. You weren't listening to anything around you, and you had survived what Bucky gave you.

~~~~~~~

It only took one of Bucky's outbursts to scare you into submission, and he did a damn good job of it. You didn't say a word for the next two weeks as he nursed you back to health. He had carefully bandaged your back and knife-inflicted wounds and kissed your skin to get you back to him. He wanted your old self back. He got you, but a different version of yourself.

You were a shell of yourself, and you had silently told Bucky that he won. To try and make you happy again, he had finally made your favorite meal. He led you to the dinner table with a blindfold on and helped you sit down. When he pulled the blindfold from your eyes, you were met with a candle-lit table with [your favorite meal] on the plate in front of you.

Tears fell down your cheeks and you turned in your chair. You wrapped your arms around Bucky's waist and cried into his shirt. He cradled your head and held you close.

"Little one, whats wrong?" He asked as he knelt down next to you. You looked at him through tear-filled eyes and shook your head.

"N-nothing..." A sad and weak smile formed on your lips. "Absolutely nothing is wrong. Not now, an-and not anymore." Your inner thoughts had won, and you had finally broken under Bucky's harsh treatment. He had a smile on his lips too, and he tilted your head up towards his.

"Im so happy to hear that, doll, so so happy." He kissed your nose and followed with a sweet kiss to your lips. "Such a sweet girl... I may even let you go to town and go shopping with me next time." Your face lit up at that and you nodded instantly.

"I will be good, so good I promise, a-and I'll even-" his chuckle cut you off and he responded "Honey, you don't have to do anything but be good. I will take care of you. I promise." And he would, from that day forward you didn't need to leave the cabin. The cuff came off, and you had free reign around the property. He even lets you go to town and do the grocery shopping with him. You learned to tolerate it but when Bucky didn't like you only tolerating it, he made you love it.

Once there were no tears left to cry, you learned to love it.

With Bucky, was captivity really that bad?

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: November 20

Heyo! I've been just parking read fic here for a while and didn't realize how long it was getting! And then I used my wait times in Disney to read a bunch more.... anyway. I've got a long list of fun for you!

Also, I'm really sorry, this is the dumbest header I've ever made but it made me laugh so here we are.

🪐 = Year of Themed Creation Fics!

.

DIETER BRAVO

Dieter, Dieter, Pumpkin Eater by @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist I can't decide what I love more: Dieter getting frisky in a bouncy castle or his gleeful exclamations when the goats take to him. I want this. I want all of it. Sign me up. Crocs and all.

Tip Your Server by @nothoughtsjustmeds I love love love this fic. I love Dieter needing to get reader all hot and bothered while wearing fancy clothes, I love the banter, I love the obvious love these two have, the cavalier throw-away of a precious object, every gesture of affection and its tie to absolute, loving sass. And the prose is so great. This is a masterclass fic.

.

JOEL MILLER

Strong Enough To Stand by @the-blind-assassin-12 Oof. This both hurt and was satisfying. Joel has a habit of holding onto love and hurt. It's definitely detrimental at times. But damn if it doesn't illustrate how fiercely he loves. Alyssa's lead up story to this--It Pours From Your Eyes--nearly destroyed me, but this one thankfully helped to soothe.

Surrender Chapter 13 and Chapter 14 by @ezrasbirdie Birdie gave us a beautiful reunion and ending for Daisy and Joel and I'm just so proud of her for putting her heart into a wonderful OC. There's so much in this series about learning to love and--even more interesting--learning to BE loved, and both Joel and Daisy are wonderful for that. I know there's an epilogue coming and I will patiently wait for my desert while this meal of a fic settles in my heart.

Saying I love you through an accidental kiss by @songsformonkeys Listen. Joel Miller's got a lot going on today and it's chaotic and you made him food and took care of Sarah and you...you reached for him first. SOFT! CUTENESS!

Spend All Your Love Making Time by @haylzcyon Sub!Joel is my new favorite obsession. He's just so in LOVE with reader, so in thrall and this is hot hot hot.... Those baby browns are certainly made for puppydog wants....

Something Soft by @keldabe-kriff 🪐 Everyone knows what you do with dandelions, right? Until an apocalypse wipes off even the tiniest things from human culture. Then kids like Ellie may not understand the simple joy of making a wish on one. Good thing there's folks like Joel who remember and help her out.

Joel, Interrupted by @iamskyereads This is both melancholy and warm, and that is such a welcome taste. It is quiet and lovely and the last line gave me so many feelings. If Joel was a ghost in his own house, this is exactly how he'd be. <3

.

MARCUS MORENO

Not All Heroes Wear Capes by @all-the-things-2020 🪐 I love "fandom crossovers" as a year of tropes offering. ST:TNG was one of my big fandom obsessions, so it's nice to return to some of those characters. Putting a Pedro boy in there is inspired, and this was handled so well!!!

If It Wasn't For The Nights by @simpingcowboy 🪐 Marcus is just made for angst, isn't he. It's obvious how much he loved his wife and how much he loves their daughter. Going inside to examine that is just asking for a heart twist....

.

JAVI GUTIERREZ

The Last Blockbuster: Bump in the Night by @blueeyesatnight I love these two slacker filmophiles and am always happy to see them return to my dash. This time it's a test of readers' spine, to see if she can handle the scary movies like she says she can. I appreciate the appearance of another movie memorabilia piece...🦇🦇🦇

IRL part 1 @ nickcage_numerouno and part 2: of festivals and food by @grogusmum I love that both these dopes are so insecure about meeting one another. Javi is sweet and wonderful like always, and it's nice to get his POV here and there as our plus-size reader deals with her own assumptions. But oh my gosh he's smitten and if there's gonna be a part 3 I'll lose my mind.

.

COMANDANTE VERACRUZ

When it Comes to You... by @flightlessangelwings 🪐 I mean, if anyone's gonna get violently protective over his girl, it just might be Veracruz. I mean, to make you his priority during an ambush? To come back victorious and rail the crap out of you afterward? That's the dream....

,

DAVE YORK

First Kill by @hopeamarsu 🪐 Holy balls, this is a beautiful little character study on Dave. Hope goes inside his head during a therapists' session where he's asked about his first kill, and it is menacing AF. Take a look at this piece, because it is bomb.

.

EZRA

Gravity by @insomniamamma 🪐 J has a way with Ezra that I'm just addicted to. I know she loves him deeply, always takes so much care with him, gets his soft side just right. She makes me yearn so very hard for this man...his physical gracelessness a grand contrast to the gracefulness of his devotion. My goodness, I love this fic.

.

PERO TOVAR

untitled by @writeforfandoms Listen. It's a little mixed trope drabble about Pero as your bodyguard that might not mind being mistaken for your boyfriend and I could take 10K of this thanks.

Bangathon fics Cowgirl and Missionary by @prolix-yuy I may be a broken record, but I just cannot get enough of a solem and sour protector who only shows his vulnerability behind closed doors. I knew better than to read LJ's take on him and expect to remain unmelted.

Grumpy Pumpkin by @sirowsky This is just the very cutest. Of course Pero knows his way around knives, but pumpkin carving doesn't go exactly as you planned. In fact, it goes much sweeter.

Seed by @perotovar I love a Pero that is hot for his wife whether or not she can concieve. And that the want for a baby that hasn't come yet doesn't make them sad...it just makes them want to try harder! Soft and sweet and spicy all at once. Just like I like him.

.

FRANKIE MORALES

Ring Toss by @morallyinept Look. It's a simple concept. Frankie brings you donuts because Frankie loves you. You're resisting because you're on some silly diet. Donuts have holes. Frankie's got something that will fit in that hole. One temptation is bad enough, but two sticky treats together? Resistance is futile.

Questions and Stories part 1 and part 2 by @never--doubt 🪐 I love this concept of Frankie and reader's daughter asking them how they met and functioned as soulmates, how love takes work, and the mechanic of not being able to see one particular color until your aoulmate finds you....

.

EDDIE THE VAMPIRE (WITH MAX PHILLIPS)

An Act of Kindness by @missredherring This is a very sweet intro to a really lovely dynamic between a vampire reader and a fledgling. Oh my balls, Eddie needs help and she's such a good teacher. And he's so smitten with her in the cutest way... And of course, Max being Max, which is to say, Max being a douche.

.

JAVIER PEÑA

Summer Kiss Prompt - Apology Kiss by @something-tofightfor I cannot deal when strong men recognize thier trauma and try to do better. It's clear here that Javi hasn't learned how to let someone else take the lead with him yet, but the growth that's comes is beautiful.

Summer Kiss Prompt - Lazy Kiss by @something-tofightfor Rachael does slice of life so well. There's something very wonderful about Javi's focus on his work to the point where he forgets to take care of himself, and maybe even lovlier about the woman who makes sure he eats something and has himself a break now and then...

.

TIM ROCKFORD

Rockford and Roan 4 by @littlemisspascal I am so in love with Rae's soft soulmate stories, she always knows how to warm my heart. This one has some darker elements what with Tim investigating crimes....BUT THERE'S ALSO A DOG THIS TIME.

.

DIN DJARIN

Ambrosial by @spacecowboyhotch A soft and lovely story staring a black reader, wherein Din learns about the ritual and culture of her hair, how it links her to her family, how much a part of her it is...and therefore how much a part of himself. I just wanna curl up in this, it's so cozy.

.

SPECIAL GUEST CORNER

FENNEC SHAND

A Different Way of Life by @ghostofskywalker 🪐 Yes. Yes this is what I want. To run away for adventure only to find I really ran away with the love of my life...who just happens to be a bounty hunter and a ton of fun.

.

DICK GRAYSON

Seasons of Love by @captainsophiestark 🪐 I don't know much about this character, but he seems very sweet and loving. A jump through time in a relationship involving ties to the Wayne family.

.

[good-beans]

HI @rainbowghostcat and @boxx-sama -- I have been enabled so I'm here to ramble a bit about my faves >:3 Top three are definitely Fuuta, Mahiru, and Yuno! Good taste gang !!🤝✨✨✨

It's a mix of enjoying their songs, genuinely getting into their stories, and relating to them just enough to go a little crazy asdfsd :') Shidou comes in at a close 4th, I love him a lot but I'm not as insane as I am about these guys lmao.

I was holding onto these asks to ramble when I had the time/energy but uuuuhhh I didn't mean to go on for so long sorry 😭 Woe, 03 06 02 thoughts be upon ye...

Starting with Fuuta!! His character has everything – He’s cool, he’s lame, he’s terrifying, he’s tragic, he’s funny, he’s unbearably real, he’s my silly little guy, he makes me cry, etc. The core of his character that always gets me is how normal he is. How he’s probably closest to the majority of the audience – he (and Kazui) are the only ones who did not have murder on their mind at all. He anticipated harm, but the thought of someone dying never once crossed his mind. He’s right around teens/early twenties. He engages with the online world a lot. So many milgram fans are in that age range, on the internet a lot (in order to enjoy the project and its fanbase), feel a strong sense of justice (since they’re so engaged in a project about morality), and aren’t in any situation dramatic enough that they expect anyone to die. He’s so much like all of us. 

Continuing on that, his heart really is in the right place to start. He cares deeply about people and society, which is why he wants to fix it. His vision is a bit small, focusing on petty issues rather than huge social issues, but the point is he cares. He attacks Es because he’s trying to be the brave representative after hearing Haruka and Yuno were attacked. He yells at Kazui and Mahiru because they’re not helping the others. He takes care of Haruka. He gives Mahiru a birthday gift even when he has nothing to give. 

His biggest issue is, he doesn’t belong. I’ve written up a whole analysis on how he’s written very neurodivergent: he misses social cues, he’s on the outskirts of friendships and groups. It’s more clear in characters like Haruka and Muu, but Fuuta is just as incredibly desperate for attention. For love. For that feeling of belonging in a group. His knightly fantasies aren’t ones of violence and weapons – they’re mostly scenes of him surrounded by a close-knit party of adventurers who are cheering him on. 

All of this together is what makes him so compelling and so tragic to me. All the characters are human and real, but he’s the closest to a lot of viewers (myself included). He let the attention get to his head for just a bit too long, let himself get swept away in finally having friends. He got distracted thinking that the focus of being a hero was defeating, and not protecting. And all it took was a brief time of getting drunk on this attention, and now he has a little girl’s blood on his hands. It makes me absolutely insane.

I also think he’s such a cool special case because he truly got a taste of his own medicine. The other characters are being judged in an unfamiliar way, but he is being scrutinized in the Exact same way that Fuuta pried open others’ privacy. He was attacked and almost died because of Es’ judgment, just as his victim was attacked because of his judgment. The process of Milgram is putting him in his victim’s shoes, and it’s so cool to see.

Aaaaand on a lighter note – he’s just so fun!! He’s my little skrunkly fr!!! I love his shit-eating grin. I love his ridiculous laugh. I love his crooked teeth. I love the knight theme, and the fire symbolism. It’s pretty standard, but it suits him perfectly. He’s got such cool, badass songs! I’m obsessed with his voice, both his singing and vd performances are incredible. His vds are the only ones I’ll listen to often and out of the blue – Arthur Lounsbery uses such an interesting and fun voice for him ;--; His design is so fun (apparently I have a Type for redhead characters…), and his t2 development and design were amazing! There has been no other Milgram character that I want to reach through the screen and shake violently by the shoulders and also hug so badly 😂

I’m so obsessed with her theme of ‘being so kind that it causes harm’!! Because it’s very easy to dismiss the other characters as unforgivable when you look at the harm they wanted to cause their victim, or disregard they had for their victim’s feelings. But Mahiru… she doesn’t want to cause any harm. At all. She took her boyfriend’s feelings into consideration so much so that she didn’t stop him when she definitely should have. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and yet she fucked up big time!! It’s such a unique type of murder!! The other characters need to be sat down and told “don’t hurt innocents, don’t seek revenge, don’t be selfish, etc” and then Mahiru is over here like “don’t be… nice to people.” Because it’s not about being nice per se – it’s about not being a doormat. 

(I know her story is still a bit mysterious – my running theory is that her bf had health issues completely separate from their relationship. They started getting bad and he started to consider suicide. Instead of stopping him, Mahiru combined her need to copy her lover (as seen a lot in TIHTBILWY), her ideas that lovers do everything together, and her belief that one should do anything they set their mind to (as seen in her comments about Es/Kotoko and the attack). She says she’ll join him, make it a lovers’ suicide, but doesn’t follow through at the last second.)

She (and Mikoto) have really interesting themes of how not caring for yourself can actually hurt others. They put all their efforts into giving back to others, to society, fitting into the norms and expectations, not questioning others, and it backfires catastrophically. If she had stood up for herself and her relationship, she would not have assumed anyone deserved to die. She would have known that it wasn’t up to her alone to deal with her bf’s mental issues. She obviously wasn’t handling it correctly (rats….) but she didn’t need to! She should have pointed him to professionals instead of deciding she deserved to die along with him! But she was so poisoned by society’s expectations of being the perfect girlfriend and being considerate of others…

She’s just such a tragic case because the power of love is supposed to be perfect. She’s been taught her whole life that it’s wonderful and magical and pure. Who can kill with the power of love, after all? I can completely understand her denial of the situation, because I also wouldn’t picture a terrifying, dark scene if I knew I was only being nice for my whole life! 

And her crime aside – she’s super fun :3 She has The Most Fun songs, she’s full of energy and excitement and enthusiasm! (out of the various english covers I like, hers is the one I jam out to most often hehe). She’s the most stunning character there! I’m a sucker for sunshine-coded characters 🌻🌻🌻I think she has the best symbols out of everyone, between the birdcage and the carousel. The fact that both Mahiru and her bf could be the bird and the cage. The two symbols representing beautiful things that can be trapping. Representing cycles. Representing relationships. I know the hourglass is a popular one but I think this is Yamanaka's finest set of symbols. I am unwell about it. So yeah, rather than give her a good shake I want to yank her right out of there – Get in loser we’re gonna get you some self-love!!!!

And a slightly shorter rant on Yuno because that was a lot adfsdf. Ad I'm aware of the irony that one of my points is that it kinda sucks how most rants on Yuno are cut short :( The thing is, she’s been very honest about her crime, and most people have considered her issue in a context outside of Milgram so they already have a pretty good idea on where their vote stands. Despite being the “obvious” innocent one, she really is the most emotionally charged character imo. It’s easy to relate to the other characters and feel knee-jerk reaction, but none have been so widely discussed as abortion and sex work. I can talk openly about everyone else and get into a nice discussion on morals and emotions, but Yuno is the one character I have to talk very, very carefully around. Whether I’m rambling about Milgram to my family or interacting with new fans, I never know what’s acceptable to say without falling into a whole debate on politics.

So, if it’s made me into someone who keeps quiet and skirts around things, I shudder to imagine the amount of lying/masking Yuno herself must do on a daily basis. I can easily avoid the topic if I choose to – she was dealing with that debate long before coming to Milgram, and is currently dealing with debates and judgements and insults and pity surrounding it. She’s naturally strong so I think fans often forget all the shit that this 18yo is dealing with on a daily basis, and how effortless she’s making it look <3