#its gonna be worth it cause i’ve always wanted a tattoo

[librarisxng]

the way I had my outfit planned for skz but I decided to get a tattoo 3 days before the concert so now I have to change it 😖

[softyoongiionly]

Talk to Me in Korean (Advanced Edition)

Your boyfriend’s English is basically better than yours at this point.

After an amazing birthday, he decides to use his newfound skills to get ahead and begin planning next years celebration.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Genre: established relationship au, domestic au, idol! jk, this is a part three to my other talk to me in korean installments but they don’t have to be read in order :)

A/N: Hiiii I’m back??? Hopefully??? This past month has been ROUGH (but like 2020 am I rite?) so I’ve been having a ton of writers block but as always, Jungkook has a way of pulling me out of all of the that. I’m sorry this is like my 50000th domestic jk story in a row ok??? I CANT HELP IT, ITS HIS FAULT. okiii anyway I love you, it’s 3am- this is unedited and im so sleepy. I love you again. 

Warnings: smut (18+ only plz), more so dirty talking than anything but stillll 

Fresh coffee.  

It’s the first thing Jungkook smells when his eyes peek open.  

His flush against the white cotton of the pillow that still holds the scent of your shampoo.  

He literally can’t help the grin that erupts onto his lips as he remembers exactly how the night before played out.  

As he remembers exactly where he is.  

He remembers that his members had organized a surprise dinner for his birthday party which included the finest selection of meat, veggies and various other side dishes money could buy.  

Not to mention, they ended the evening the introduction of a giant banana milk themed cake.  

Despite stuffing himself till near immobilization as well as being surrounded by his best friends, nothing could have prepared him for his final gift: you.  

The boys had flown you in from out of town and organized for your arrival in the middle of the party.  

Jungkook may have shed a few tears as nothing could have made him happier than seeing his beautiful girlfriend pushing through the doors of the venue.  

Once the boys had gone to home, Jungkook had taken you up to his room to finish off the evening with birthday sex.  

Predictable? Maybe.

Did either of you care? Absolutely not.  

It had been 3 months since the two of you had seen each other and he was nothing short of desperate for your touch.  

Now however, he’s experiencing a different kind of bliss as the smell of bacon begins to waft in through his cracked bedroom door.  

His smile broadens as he realizes very quickly that the same beautiful woman who had made his birthday so special had woken up early to make him breakfast.  

He cannot begin to imagine how lucky he is but, he plans on using his day off to show you how much he appreciates you.  

In a million different ways...

Running a hand through the raven locks on his head, he pushes himself to a sitting position. Upon doing so, he notices the faint red marks over the valleys and curves of his stomach whilst simultaneously feeling a hint of pain across the middle of his back. He smirks to himself and curiously runs the tips of his fingers over the aggravated flesh of his stomach.  

What a night...

He finally stands up, moving his body in every necessary direction to stretch out the soreness in his muscles before taking note of his current attire.  

Given the events of last night, it surprised him that he had even managed to pull on the pair of white boxer-briefs that currently adorned his figure. He assumed he had fallen asleep naked.  

Jungkook experiences a pivotal moment then, completely on his own.  

He realizes that he doesn’t want to put anything else on.  

To some people, this wouldn’t be a big deal but to Jungkook, its everything.  

When he first travelled to Seoul, he was too shy to remove his shirt in front of his hyungs, let a lone strut around the dorm in his boxers.  

But with you, he’s finally starting to realize that not only is he comfortable with you but, he has a massive desire to express that to you.  

He wants you to have parts of him that no one else has.  

He wants you to know that you’re the only one who gets him this way.  

Without the fancy clothes, the layers of makeup, the band aids on his tattoos, the carefully scripted words and persona...

That you alone have all of him.  

He chuckles to himself, running a hand through his hair once again as he picks on himself for making such a big deal out of something so small.

But he knows that you’d get it and that quickly squashes any of his desire to make fun of himself.  

As he approaches his bedroom door, he feels the ghost of nerves directly in the pit of his stomach.  

Why was he nervous? You’ve literally seen him naked before.

He’s been inside of you more times than he can count so why was he overthinking going out to greet his girlfriend in his boxers?

He rolls his eyes at himself, “Because you’re weird, that’s why...” He mutters to himself before finally pushing open the door.  

His kitchen is off to the left, slightly tucked behind a bit of wall and he is annoyed with the layout of his apartment because he is getting in the way of immediately seeing your pretty face.  

When he does see you however, it’s entirely worth the wait.  

You’ve got a portable speaker set up a safe distance away from your work station emitting a bit of soothing music throughout the kitchen along with a pot of fresh coffee on the island with his favorite Iron Man mug sitting right next to it, awaiting his arrival. There’s a few pans on the stovetop sizzling with various breakfast items that Jungkook doesn’t care to notice at first because his eyes are far too concerned with you.  

And boy does he desperately wish that this was his daily life...

Your wear minimal clothing as well but there are fuzzy socks on your feet and a bit of bedhead adorning your crown and that’s really all that he needs to see to conclude that you are the most fantastic thing to ever grace the planet.  

“G’morning...” He nearly mumbles, placing a hand on the counter.

He ensures his voice is soft enough not to startle you and thankfully his presence emits nothing more but a smile from your lips.

You turn towards him with the same smile, eyes raking over his body shamelessly before returning his greeting, “Good morning birthday boy. Did you sleep ok?”

He chuckles lightly, his head cocking to the side in confusion, “My birthday was...yesterday yeah?”

Your smile grows at his question as you make your way over to the sleepy man before you.

“It was.” You concede and as you near his figure, you slide your hands around his waist, “But I wasn’t with you the whole day so, I’m trying to make up for lost time.”

Immediately, he grins boyishly his capable hands sliding up your body to pull you flush against his.

“But you already gave me so many presents...” He insists, leaning towards your lips, “Remember last night?”

You take a moment to admire how good his English has gotten and silently applaud him for managing to lead such an incredibly busy life and learn a second language all at the same time. You try your best not to vocalize your praise to often though because you know how shy it makes him.  

Before you can answer, he presses his lips to yours, humming gently in his throat and promptly smiling into your mouth.  

As you indulge in him for a moment your fingers gently brush the tan skin across his back. Your touch sends a shiver up your boyfriends back which then gives you no choice but to return the smile present in your kiss.

“Duh...” You murmur which prompts a delighted chuckle to escape his mouth, “How could I forget? You were like superman last night with all that stamina...”

Your observation causes your boyfriend to frown playfully as he points to the mug sitting atop the counter.

“Not superman- Iron Man.” He insists, still holding you close, the warmth of his presence infecting you.  

With a snort, you pull back slightly to catch the glint in his eyes, “I don’t know how me comparing you to Ironman would make much sense babe but, if you want to be Iron Man then how am I to deny you?”

Jungkook smirks, already satisfied with his response before he’s even uttered it.

“I’m like Iron Man because he is a machine...” He wiggles his brows at you, “...and so am I.”

After the look of incredulity that crosses your face, you have no choice but to laugh, leaning slightly away from him to indicate that you have to head back to your breakfast before it burns.

“Alright fair enough-” You concede, still giggling a bit as his grip tightens on your body, his own beautiful smile still present on his mouth, “I gotta finish cooking, or else we’re gonna have burnt bacon for breakfast.”

He shrugs, unimpressed as he uses his inhuman strength to hug you tighter,  “Bacon is bacon.”

This prompts more laughter as he reluctantly walks to the stove with you, your body still encased in his grip.

“I can’t cook with your mega muscles constricting my arms-” You point out, craning your neck slightly to try and meet his gaze, a ghost of a smile on your lips, which is still locked onto a mixture of mischief and joy.

With a furrowed brow he leans in slowly before pecking your lips quickly and finally releasing you, “What is constricting?”

His question is asked from near the coffee pot, his hands gingerly moving his mug closer to him.

He is VERY careful with this particular mug.

“Constricting is like when you squeeze something really really tight-” You explain softly, taking the now well-done strips of bacon out of the pan before laying them on some paper towels.

He’s pouring himself a cup of coffee, his eyes narrowed in focus as he nods, “Ohhh ok- you mean like how snakes do?”

“Yeah exactly!” You smile brightly, turning towards him with encouragement on your face, “that’s why we call certain kinds of snakes constrictors because that’s how they kill their pray. Honestly, it wasn’t the best word choice on my part because, people definitely use the word squeeze more but-”

He shakes his head then, his eyes still focusing on preparing his cup of coffee, “It doesn’t matter- you taught me another new word without even trying to.” He assures you before a cocky smirk comes across his face, “I bet I know more words than Namjoon-hyung now...”

His comment makes you laugh as his competitiveness is something you adore despite the fact that you don’t fully understand it.

“Oh for sure, you probably know more words than I do honestly, with how often you practice.”  

Jungkook smiles broadens at your praise, his eyes finally flitting up towards you, “Probably.”

He laughs along with you now, the sound of your giggling sending warmth into his heart as he brings the mug to his lips.

“You’re a brat.” You point out simply, still smiling because you literally do nothing else with this kid as you begin to fry up the last batch of bacon.

Suddenly, you feel his presence behind you, his strong arms wrapping around your waist whilst his nose burrows playfully into your neck, “Noooo an angel.”

Snorting again, you pretend his lips near such a sensitive area doesn’t affect you as you continue with your current task, “An angel? What on Earth would make you think that?”

Your teasing prompts a bout of snickering to leave his lips as he hugs you tighter to him, the soft scent of his hair sending a wave of comfort through you.

“You call me a good boy all the time...”

Although his comment is meant to be innocent, the way he intentionally lowers his tone causes your thighs to press together.

“I do,” You admit, trying to keep it together as you crack a few eggs into an awaiting pan, “I don’t know if that makes you an angel though.”

Jungkook senses the change in your voice and rather then shy away from the direction the conversation is heading, he decides to go with it.  

“That’s true-” He murmurs and it’s then you can feel the smirk against the curve of your neck, “Especially since you only call me that when I’m making you cum huh?”

This causes your eyes to grow wide and given that your flirtatious boyfriend is staring at you already, there is no way for you to hide it.

So instead you play along, enjoying this new side of him more than you care to admit.

“Exactly.” You mutter, giggling to yourself as you feel a bit of heat on your cheeks, “Go set the table or something- you're going to make me burn the kitchen down.”

With a cheeky giggle, he seems satisfied with his mission to fluster you, placing a kiss to your cheek and rushing off to do as you’ve asked him to.

Breakfast passes without any more of Jungkook’s reckless behavior and you’re thankful for it because, you sincerely doubt that you’d be able to focus on your plate when you have a foul-mouthed buffet sitting across from you.

Jungkook insists on helping you clean up whilst also reminding you once again that his birthday was yesterday and that he doesn’t want any more special treatment.

All he wants is to be with you today.

You honor his request by sitting up a massive mountain of pillows and blankets in his living room and situating yourselves in front of his flat screen.

With the curtains closed and the scent of Jungkook’s sea breeze candle wafting throughout the room, the two of you begin watching a movie together.  

However, halfway through the movie, the plans begin to morph into something else entirely.

Armed with newly found confidence, your boyfriend begins kissing you, his hands making their way towards your hips.

The pace of your breathing picks up rather quickly when he suckles your bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling against the swollen flesh.

“For my birthday- next year...” He whispers into your mouth, eyes fluttering open as he nudges your nose, “I want to kiss you all day.”

His request causes you to smile, your hands slowly sliding up his neck to tuck into the hair at the back of his head, “Whatever you want.”

Your response causes his eyes to sparkle with mischief once more, delighted at how willing you are to give him whatever he wants, “Oh- it’s whatever I want hm? Just like that?”

The way he’s speaking to you makes you a little light headed and rather than try to reign back his bout of authority, you decide to run with it, “Just like that.”

Your response is spoken into his mouth, the kiss between you breaking so he can maneuver you onto your back. For a moment, he braces his hands on either side of your head, his perfect body hovering over you, with only the long strands of his hair and the thin silver chains around his neck reaching for you.  

“What if-” He grins before grinding his hips against you, the swollen bit of his boxers rubbing against your clothed core, “I wanted to be in here all day? Would you let me?”

Through the waves of pleasure, your eyes squeeze shut for a moment before you nod, your fingers beginning to wander up the outsides of his forearms.

“Whatever you want...”

His grin is stable but the pace of his breathing is quickening, indicating his excitement.

He wants more out of this conversation though and decides to press you further.  

“Would you let me put my face down there all day too? You wouldn’t have to cook for me if you did...” He points out before his grin morphs into a smirk as he leans down towards your lips, “I’d get full off your pussy wouldn’t I?”

The switch in languages also indicates his level of arousal as his mentioned before that English is far more difficult when he’s wrapped up in his emotions or in this case, his desires.  

Using your nails, you lightly tickle your way up to shoulders tugging playfully to see if he’ll come to lay down on you fully but he doesn’t budge. He merely chuckles and grinds against you once again.

“Patience...” He parrots a phrase that you often utter to him when roles are reversed in the bedroom and the glimmer in his eyes informs you that he is eating up your reaction to him.

“But I want you...” You whine to him, hoping his thing for hearing you speak his language will be enough to break his resolve but he isn’t ready to give in just yet.

“That’s too bad jagiya, I’m not finish planning my birthday just yet.” Jungkook whines mockingly in return, the innocent curls framing his face contradicting his salacious demeanor, “I want to know how many marks you’d leave on me- maybeeeeee...” He draws out the word as his teeth tuck into his bottom lip, “25? One for every year of my birthday?”

Since attempting to tug him down didn’t work out, you decide to wrap your legs around his waist to further some sort of contact between you two.  

“Twenty five? Your stylists would kill me...” You point out giggling, pushing your now damp panties against the swell of his length beneath his boxers.  

Rather cockily, Jungkook snorts and leans down once again to brush his lips over yours, “I don’t give a fuck what the noonas say, they know how to cover me up and, even if they can’t- people are just gonna have to deal with it.” Another smirk forms on his mouth before he sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, “it would be really hard for them if they fired me don’t you think?”

You gotta admit, his new found attitude is turning you on. It’s not like Jungkook to be so cocky, despite the way some people may think and although you know for a fact that he’s putting it on for you, you have no problem sucking it up anyway.  

“Definitely. BigHit would have hell to pay...” You concede, your words slightly muffled due to the current location of your bottom lip. Once more your hands tangle their way into his hair and you take advantage of this position to kiss him, hoping that will be enough to convince him to drop the teasing.  

He kisses you back with enthusiasm, his lower body relaxing slightly as more and more of him presses against you.  

“You’re wet.”  He whispers, his eyes still closed whilst he continues to peck at your bottom lip, “Are you ready for my dick now?”  

With his inquiry, he grinds against you once more, sending a shiver of pleasure up your spine.  Your surprised that he spoke the second sentence in English as he usually would have switched fully to Korean at this point.  

“Namjoon’s really been rubbing off on you lately...”  

This insignificant comment lights a fire in Jungkook’s chest and prompts him to quickly pin your wrists above your head. His features hold a bit of disapproval but, mostly they hold that competitive look that is so uniquely Jungkook.  

That “I’m going to win just to show you how good I am” kind of look.

“Why does everyone assume that Namjoon is the most perverted huh? Just cause he talks about it the most? He writes a few dirty lyrics and talks about porn and suddenly he’s the only one who wants to fuck? Jagiya- do you want to know why I look so distracted all the time?” He giggles in an almost maniacal fashion, a dark smirk prominent on his lips as he cocks his head, “It’s because I’m usually thinking about fucking you. Everyone always thinks I’m so shy- so innocent, but you’d let them know huh jagi?  You’d let them know how fucking dirty I am wouldn’t you? I don’t think ARMY could handle it if they knew the truth...” Jungkook offers that same type of laughter once again before kissing you once more, “Now answer my question- are you ready for my dick now?”

His words and behavior stun you a little bit but mostly it just sends more arousal to your core and ruins your odds of putting these pair of panties back on when the two of you are done.  

“Yes sir...” You giggle, saluting him playfully as you wrap your legs around his waist again, “I’m so ready for you- please? Can I have it?”  

Your pleas work immediately on your boyfriend, who is already struggling with his level of arousal and before you know it, he is fucking both you of you into orgasmic bliss.  

It’s over too quickly but it’s the kind of fuck that you know it going to prompt a round two.

Or maybe even a round three or four if you’re lucky...

Jungkook’s head is on your chest now, his arms hugging you tightly to his body, his post-orgasmic glow riding him of any of his previously cocky attitude.  

“I like this.” He murmurs, licking his chapped lips and nuzzling between your breasts.

You smile fondly down at him, “Cuddling?”

He shakes his head, his eyes beginning to flutter shut, “Not just cuddling- but you, being here, at my house with me.”

With a kiss to his forehead, you use your free hand to brush his hair from his eyes, “I like being here with you too.”

There is a bit of color that finds it’s way to Jungkook’s cheeks as he utters a suggestion, “You should stay here with me. I will move my stuff around for you...”

It’s such a simple notion and yet it nearly moves you to tears but before you’re able to breach the topic further, his eyes fully close as he relaxes his weight completely.  

Without clarity regarding whether or not he can hear you, you utter your response into his hair,

“Sounds good, roomie.”

[hangovercurse]

Wanna Help You Relax

You’ve been working really hard this week, and Colson wants to help you relax.

Request: “Hey I just saw that ur requests were on and I wanted to know if you could possibly write a cute little fluff/smit piece?”

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Smut (18+), cursing

A/N: I didn’t know who you wanted so I just wrote about Colson, lmk if you want someone else! 

Word Count: 2143

masterlist

You were startled out of your work by the sound of your phone buzzing with a text message. You unlocked your phone to read the text from your boyfriend of 2 years, Colson, catching the time as you did. 7:30.

Will u be home 4 dinner?

“Shit.” You muttered under your breath, looking at the unfinished document in front of you. You sighed, trying to figure out what to do.

I just saw the time. I still have some work to do but I can bring it home

From his position on the couch in your house, Colson groaned.

You’ve been working on this all week, babe. You can take a break for a day

You rolled your eyes at his text. Somewhere inside of you knew that he was right. You hadn’t done much of anything except work for the past week, which has been the cause of tension in your relationship. But you knew if you didn’t finish this project by Friday that you definitely would not get the promotion you were up for.

I promise I’ll be done with it Friday, then I’ll take a break. I’m on my way

Honestly, he was lucky you were making it home for dinner, which was not something you had been able to do in the past three days. Instead, you had been opting to stay at the office late and skip dinner.

You threw the papers on your desk into their folder and the folder into your bag, along with your laptop and anything else you thought you might need.

 Colson had been trying not to get frustrated with your absence, but after being at home 24/7 with you and Casie, being without you was difficult. You would get home late, only to tell him you needed to work more. And anytime he tried to get you to sleep or eat or do anything else, you shut down, telling him “It’ll be done on Friday.”

And he knew he had no place to talk, he had left you for months at a time while he was touring sometimes, but at least he tried to call you as much as he could. Now it was just like you weren’t there at all.

You both tried to ignore the tension at dinner, focusing instead on light conversation, mostly facilitated by Casie, and the food. After you had all finished, Colson asked, “Case, could you do the dishes tonight?” The girl happily obliged, hopping around the table and picking up yours and Colson’s plates.

You thanked her, watching her leave into the kitchen before turning your eyes to Colson, only to find him already looking at you.  “I’m gonna go get some work done, babe.” You stood up, watching his eyes follow you slowly. You knew he wanted to say something, but you really appreciated that he didn’t. Instead, he just nodded, letting out a small sigh.

You walked into the office he had set up just for you when you moved in, placing your bag on the desk. You smiled at the picture of him that sat on the desk, the same one on your desk at your workplace. You sat down, pulling your laptop and papers out of the bag, and setting up your space.

After about an hour and a half of you working, Colson decided you needed a break. It was almost 10 pm and he just wanted to hold you for the next few hours before you both fell asleep. All of his friends made fun of him for it, but he turned into the softest person ever around you. It was the biggest reason he’d fallen in love with you, you made him a better person.

So, he walked into your office, quietly, smiling as he saw you typing away at the desk. He always thought you were prettiest when you looked like this, focused and determined. He walked up behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders and massaging gently. You jumped a little when his hand first made contact, but quickly relaxed at his touch.

“Hi baby.” You smiled, looking up to him with a soft smile on your face.

He leaned down to press a soft kiss to your forehead, “Hi babe. How’s it goin?” He nodded towards the screen in front of you.

You sighed, turning to look towards the screen with a frown. “It’s getting there. I keep looking at these notes that my co-worker took but they aren’t quite fitting into what I already had, so I’ve been rearranging everything to see if I can incorporate both. It’s a bit frustrating but I think if I get this done by like noon tomorrow then I can finish everything by Friday morning and then polish everything up and turn it in.”

Colson let out a breath, resting his chin on your head. “You’re way too smart for me sometimes.” He chuckled.

You looked back up to him, a confused expression on your face. “That’s a lie and you know it. You’re a fucking musical genius.” You leaned up to press a quick kiss to his lips, but Colson had another idea.

As soon as your lips met his, he placed a hand on your cheek, deepening the kiss. He hadn’t felt your lips in almost a week, and it had been killing him. Truthfully, you had missed it too. You wanted nothing more than to have his lips roaming your body, but you knew if you let that happen you wouldn’t get your project done.

You pulled away and turned back towards your screen, a soft smile on your lips. “C’mon baby.” He mumbled, “just take a break with me.” His hands returned to massaging your shoulders, his mouth moving down to your ear, pressing a kiss to the sweet spot just behind it. “I’ll make it worth your while.” He whispered, biting your earlobe lightly.

“Cols,” You whined, hating that he knew exactly what to do and say to turn you on. “I can’t.”

He kissed down your neck, nipping at the skin occasionally. “Yes, you can.” He moved up to your jaw, one hand turning your head back to face him. “You’ve been working so hard lately.” He mumbled, “I wanna help you relax.”

You hummed at the feeling of his lips on your hot skin. His lips hovered over yours, his hands traveling all over your body. “Wanna make you feel good.” He murmured before pressing his lips to yours.

Instinct took over you and you turned fully around in the chair, sitting on your knees and wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands went to your waist, running up and down your sides. He took your lower lip between his teeth, nibbling on the skin. His hands reached the bottom of your blouse, playing with it before pulling it up. You disconnected your lips to bring the shirt over your head, and Colson threw it across the room. You stood fully from the chair, hands running up his chest as his lips went to your neck, sucking the skin again as he traveled down to your collar bone and chest. His hands reached behind you, fiddling with the clasp of your bra before removing it.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” Colson muttered, eyes travelling your chest. You blushed slightly, reaching to take his shirt off, which he gladly obliged to. His mouth moved back to your skin, taking one of your tits in his mouth, sucking gently on the nib in the center. You moaned as his hand came up to massage the other. The hands in his hair pulled gently on the blond strands, causing groans of pleasure from the tattooed man.

He pushed you backwards softly so you were leaning against the desk, his lips travelling down your stomach until they reached the waistline of your pants. He pressed small kisses over the area as he slowly unclasped the black material, pulling it down your legs to reveal your red underwear.

A smirk made its way to his face, kissing your heat through the material. You took in a breath through your teeth at the contact, realizing how long it had been since he’d made you cum.

He moved the material to the side, licking a slow stripe up your slit and watching your reaction. Your hold on his hair tightened and he chuckled, the vibrations shooting through your heat. His tongue dipped into your folds, collecting the wetness that had already been forming. He then moved up to your clit, taking the sensitive bud between his lips, sucking softly.

“Mmmm Colson that feels so fucking food.” You moaned softly. He looked up at you, watching your face as he worked on your clit. His hands travelled up your thighs, pulling the red fabric down your legs. Two fingers found their way to your folds and pressed gently into them.

You moaned out as he began to pump his long digits in and out of you, his mouth still working on your clit. You looked down, meeting his eyes that were darkened with lust. The sight of him alone almost made you fall off the edge, but his motions stopped as he felt you start to clench around him. He pulled his fingers out of you, standing up slowly and licking them clean. You whined at the loss of contact, to which he chuckled and moved closer to you.

“I’m gonna take you on this desk, baby girl.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. So, you simply nodded your head, closing your laptop and placing it and everything else onto the chair. Colson smiled at your obedience, pressing a small kiss to your lips and moving down to your jaw. His hands gripped your hips and slowly made their way down to your thighs, stopping right below your ass. He squeezed the skin and you lifted your legs up, wrapping them around his waist as he held you, leaning you against the small desk.

Your hands moved to the button of his pants, pulling them down with his boxers to release his member. You gripped it softly, running your hand up and down its length as Colson continued his attack on your jaw. He groaned against your skin at the feeling, quickly removing his lips from you to line himself up.

“You’ve been taking your pills, right?” He asked, softly.

You giggled, “Yes, babe, I’ve been taking my pills now will you please fuck me.”

Colson looked at you with a smile, eyes gazing deep into yours as he pushed himself into you. You threw your head back at the feeling, his cock spreading you out, grazing every inch of your pussy. He took that as his cue to press kisses to your neck and shoulders, slowly pulling himself out of you and thrusting back in. “You feel so good around me baby, shit.” He moaned, stabilizing you on the desk before moving his hands to your lower thighs.

You moaned as his thrusts got faster until he found a steady pace. It felt like his cock was made for you, hitting every spot that drove you wild. Every time he hit that one spot, you moaned out, causing Colson to thrust harder.

His head had found its place resting on your shoulder lips near your neck. He whispered, breath hitting your ear, “Wanna feel you cum around me, can you do that baby?”

You nodded slightly, moans still falling from your mouth. His pace picked up even more, and you could feel your orgasm approaching. His lips returned to your neck, biting and sucking at your sweet spots, enough to send you over the edge.

“Fuck I’m gonna-“

“Cum for me baby.” His voice pushed you over the edge, euphoria taking over your body in waves. The feeling of you clenching around him prompting his climax. You felt his cock twitch as his hot seed entered you, his thrusts slowing down as you both moaned in pleasure.

You both stayed in that position for a while, his hot breath hitting your neck as you tried to slow your breaths. Finally, Colson pulled out of you, setting your legs onto the ground.

“Honestly, I’ve been thinking about fucking you on this desk since you moved in.” He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

You smiled, “guess we need to do it again at some point.” You hopped of the desk, grabbing his shirt from the floor, not feeling like putting your pants on. “You wanna grab a shower with me?”

“That is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever heard. Of course I do.” He buttoned his jeans, grabbing your clothes from the floor. He took your hand in his, leading you to your shared bathroom.

Safe to say that you were definitely more relaxed.

[pitviperofdoom]

"Vet AU" as in veterinarian? Definitely curious about that, vets don't get nearly enough love in fiction :) I had never considered that as an AU, but now I'm immediately picturing how it would go!

The Vet AU! Yes, Vet as in Veterinarian.

This one’s a bit scattered, so I’ll just post what I have written and let it speak for itself:

---

Martin was in the middle of doing payroll when Sasha poked her head into the office with a polite knock on the doorframe. “Hey Martin, Room 2 is ready for you.”

“Oh! Thanks.” Quickly, Martin finished filling in the last number, then saved the spreadsheet and got up from his chair. At the sight of her, he bit back a chuckle—she had one of the new puppies settled against her shoulder, wiggling and poking around like a furry little worm. “Tim leave you on babysitting duty?”

“Not his fault,” Sasha said with a grin. “He’s dealing with the rottweiler situation in 5. You good?”

“Yeah, fine—remind me who’s waiting for me in 2 again?”

“According to the appointment schedule, you’ll be handling a general check-up for ‘Sticks’,” Sasha replied. “New patient, new owner.”

“Right, right, yeah.”

They usually stuck him with the first-time patients. Not that Tim and Sasha weren’t perfectly friendly and welcoming, but Martin—at least according to them—had very calming manners. He had the appearance of someone pleasant, patient, and according to Sasha, far less likely to go off on people who came in asking to declaw their cats.

“I have gone off on people for asking to declaw their cats,” Martin had said when she told him this.

“Oh, obviously. You just look like someone who wouldn’t, that’s all.”

That was what he got for being the only one with years of retail experience.

As he approached the door to the examination room, he took a few settling breaths. First-time appointments weren’t always a big deal. A majority of the time, they went smoothly; the animals weren’t familiar enough with what went on in a vet office to be nervous about it, and their owners were just as eager to be polite and pleasant as he was. But once in a while…

Well, once in a while you got someone like Peter fucking Lukas—

He shook his head. No, don’t think about Peter Lukas. Peter Lukas wasn’t worth wasting the space in his brain.

Martin settled his face into a resting pleasant expression, and opened the door.

It didn’t take a great deal of self-control not to stop in his tracks, but it did take a little. More than none. It wasn’t anything bad! Nothing against this new pet owner.

Less than nothing, if Martin were privately, sheepishly honest with himself.

The person was standing by the examination table, with a cat-sized pet carrier beside them. They were tall enough for Martin to look them in the eye without tipping his chin down, which put them a cut above most. Their hair was shoulder-length, mostly black with a bit of dark blond creeping in at the roots, framing a jawline and cheekbones so sharply defined that there had to be at least a bit of makeup involved. The snakebite piercing and the bar through the eyebrow really rounded out the whole look, especially with the long black coat, and the tattoos on the hand that rested on top of the box.

Very nice hands, Martin noted, then shrugged off the observation and funneled all his nervous energy into the safety of politeness.

“Good morning,” he said. “I’m Dr. Blackwood.”

They shook the hand he offered. “Gerry. Ke—Delano. Thanks for seeing me.”

“No trouble at all,” Martin replied, nodding toward the pet carrier. “I assume that’s my patient in there?”

“Oh, right, yeah—gimme a second.” Gerry Delano unlocked the carrier, then carefully reached in and lifted its occupant out onto onto the table.

“Oh, aren’t you lovely,” Martin murmured. “This is Sticks?”

“That’s him,” Gerry replied, as the small, fluffy, and perfectly black rabbit stretched forward to give a spot on the table a sniff, then retreated back into a loaf shape. Gerry stroked him gently. “Least I think it’s a him.”

“Well, let’s see, then.” Martin reached out, careful not to spook his new patient, and started examining her. He—yes, he—handled it all about as calmly as a nervous rabbit could. Martin didn’t have to grab a towel, at least, nor did he have a repeat of the time a nervous lop tried to jump off the examination table entirely. Sticks tolerated all the poking, prodding, and manhandling, and only got wriggly once before a quick pause and readjustment calmed him back down.

“So how long have you had him?” Martin asked, once he was done. Sticks immediately fled to the nearest safe haven, which turned out to be his owner’s armpit.

“Less than a week, since Monday,” Gerry replied, petting him as he attempted to burrow deeper into his jacket.

“Well, he’s a touch underweight,” Martin told him. “There’s some information I can give you on rabbit care, if this is your first time owning one. He’s not neutered, is he?”

“Probably not,” Gerry replied, grimacing. “I don’t know much about his history. I took him off an acquaintance who got him as a present and wasn’t doing a very good job of things.”

Martin pulled a face. “Pets make poor presents, yeah. Well, he’s old enough to be fixed, and with history like that he probably hasn’t gotten the shots he needs. After we’re done here, you can talk to Rosie out front, schedule another appointment to get those done. What do you feed him?”

Gerry, as Martin discovered, was an absolutely model rabbit owner. He’d done his homework, read up on how to keep a rabbit happy and healthy, and hadn’t scrimped on expenses. It was no wonder Sticks was happy to hide under his arm for the remainder of the appointment; he had a good home with good food and toys and what sounded like a nice setup, habitat-wise.

“What sort of vegetables are good for him?” they asked at one point. “I’m thinking of growing some. I’ve got the space, but I’ve heard too much causes problems?”

They want to grow vegetables for their pet rabbit, Martin thought, a little dreamily. “Leafy greens are a safe bet,” he replied out loud. “Romaine, parsley, cilantro, kale, that sort of thing. Work them in slowly if he’s not used to them, and he’ll be fine. I can give you a list, if you’d like?”

When the appointment was done, a future one scheduled, and the patient safely back in his carrier, Martin finally let himself ask the question that had been on his mind.

“So, is there a special meaning to ‘Sticks’?” he asked. “Is it short for something, or does he like to play with them, or…?”

“What?” Gerry looked confused for a moment, before the question seemed to click. “Oh, no, not Sticks like—he’s Styx as in the river.”

“Oh! Styx, of course. Sorry, I just—I heard it, but I didn’t see it written down—”

Gerry’s grin was crooked, like they were trying to hold it back but only partially succeeding. “It’s fine. And thanks for everything.”

“Oh, no problem, you’re doing great,” Martin assured him, smiling back. “He’s lucky to have you.”

He was pleasantly baffled when a bit of color crept into Gerry’s face. “Right, well, who can resist a bunny.”

“You’d be surprised,” Martin said as he showed him out of the room. “If I get one more new rabbit owner telling me about their lovely outdoor hutch—”

Gerry looked scandalized at the thought as he left, which was another point in his favor.

“What’s that look for?” Tim asked as Martin passed him on the way back to the office. “Oh dear. Don’t tell me Jon has competition again?”

“Oh my God, Tim, give that a rest. There was never any competition!”

“Yeah, Tim, keep it straight, will you?” Sasha called out from the temporary puppy pen. “Oliver wasn’t competition. Martin was jealous of him, remember?”

“Nothing straight about it,” Tim shot back.

“I have payroll to do,” Martin reminded them primly. “You trust me with our finances and then you treat me like this. How dare you. I’m defrauding both of you, see if I don’t.”

***

It wasn’t that Martin fell in love easily, per se. It was just that he had a very specific set of standards when it came to who he found attractive, and in his line of work he always ran into people who either met every single one of them, or disappointed him in every possible way.

When he stepped into examination room 4 and found Jon Sims trying to herd three kittens away from the edge of the examination table at once, he kept his deep sigh on the inside. Jon was batting a thousand, and he’d been coming around long enough for everyone in the clinic to know about it.

“Hello again, Jon,” Martin said, doing a wretched job of hiding his smile.

Jon looked up with a helpless expression. “It’s kitten season,” he said, and Martin poured all his sympathies into a more situation-appropriate sigh.

“It’s kitten season,” Martin agreed. “So, where did these little ones come from?”

“These came from the colony in Battersea,” he replied. “Well, sort of. The mother already has an owner, and said owner keeps letting her out every day, even though I’ve told her time and again there’s that unfixed tom I’ve never been able to catch—and that’s just the one I know of—”

Martin scowled as he examined one of the squirming kittens. Much easier to manhandle than rabbits, he thought, apropos of nothing. “Better than being born on the street, I suppose.”

“Small mercies,” Jon agreed. “Anyway, when the kittens were born she told me either I could take them or she was going to take them to the park and give them out for free, which really isn’t a choice at all. Poor things.” The ginger kitten in his hands squealed until he settled it more comfortably against his shoulder, where it calmed down and immediately tried to eat his hair.

“Gonna find a foster for them, then?” Martin asked.

“I don’t have much of a choice,” Jon sighed. “I’d do it myself, but—you know how Duchess is.”

“Yes. How is Duchess, by the way?”

“Cantankerous as ever. You don’t happen to have room, do you?”

“Room, yes. Time…” The black kitten was finished with her exam, and protested when she was put back in the carrier. “Did Sasha tell you about the puppies?”

“I haven’t seen Sasha today,” Jon replied, handing over the ginger kitten when Martin reached for it. “What puppies?”

“Rosie came in early this morning,” Martin informed him, wincing when the kitten bit hard on his thumb. “There was a box waiting by the door, with four puppies inside. No note or anything. So, that’s been fun.”

“I can imagine,” Jon said distastefully. “Are you serious? Someone just left a box of puppies on the doorstep? Like foundlings in a Dickens novel?”

Martin snorted before he could think better of it, startling the kitten into biting him again. Jon was the only person he’d ever met who would use a word like foundlings. “More or less. They are cute, though. Tim says his brother might be interested in taking one, and Sasha says she’s got friends who volunteer at a dog rescue. Retrievers usually aren’t too hard to adopt out.”

“Well, good luck to you. I suppose the season’s hard on everyone.”

The three kittens were in good health, which Martin was more or less expecting. Kittens tended to have a better chance when born in a home than out in the street—even in a less than responsible home. Between the two of them, Martin and Jon got them back into the battered old carrier, where they went back to wrestling each other in the blankets. Jon reached in to tickle one between the ears and got nipped for his troubles, but it only made him smile.

“Well, anyway,” Martin went on, realizing that he’d been staring long enough for it to be rude. “I don’t think you need any follow-up care instructions?”

Jon laughed quietly before closing the carrier. “No, I think I’m alright. Thank you, Martin.”

“It’s not problem. Always a pleasure.” Martin beamed. “Good luck on finding them a foster. And—catching that tom.”

“One of these days, I swear.”

Martin showed him back out to the front. Not necessary, considering how often Jon walked that hallway. But it felt nice to walk beside him, talking shop or chatting about nothing, all to the background tune of healthy, vocal kittens.

After waving Jon off, he turned back to find Sasha watching him from behind the front desk, chin in hand, the very picture of unimpressed.

“What,” said Martin.

“He’s been coming in for months,” she said, raising an eyebrow at him. “Are you going to make a move or not?”

“No I’m not going to—Sasha, he’s a client.”

“So? It’s not like you’re his doctor. There’s no conflict of interest or weird power dynamic when your role in his life is taking care of animals he brings in.” Sasha sat back, letting the swivel chair roll backward. “You’re already chatting like old friends every time you see him.”

“I know, I know, it’s just—it’s weird?” Martin shrugged helplessly. “We only ever meet during business hours, so it’s like—how much of our, our, our friendliness is just a working relationship?”

“Easy fix!” Sasha spread her hands wide. “The man works at a cat rescue! You can just swing by and say hello anytime!”

“He works there part-time, and I don’t know what hours! Not like I can just stand outside and case the place until I see him.”

At that moment, the door to the back swung open, and Tim poked his head out. “Could I get some help? Bailey’s giving me some trouble and I need an extra set of hands.”

“Be right there,” Martin replied. To Sasha, he said, “Look, I’m fine. It’s not a big deal, we’re just two people who keep meeting in very specific circumstances. And that’s all it needs to be.”

Sasha sighed. “I just think you’re making this out to be more complicated than it needs to be.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Martin muttered, and followed Tim into the back.

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Coffee - T. Holland

Okay, I know I have requests but this song came on at work the other day and I felt super emotional and I had to write. The use of Tom was very last minute because I had no actual person in mind for the fic, and there are very little actual defining characteristics so you can imagine it to be absolutely anybody you want!

This has broken me, so I apologize in case it has the same affect.

TW: This story contains mentions of cancer, allusions to death, mentions of death, sadness, angst, allusion to suicide, a character with cancer, and all round sadness about death.

If this content may trigger you in any way possible, please do not engage with this fic. Your personal safety and wellness is important so please take care of yourself, my lovies.

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17. Please do not copy, translate or share outside of the boundaries of tumblr without my permission. Please do not steal my work and market it as your own. Basically, don’t be a dick. Also, the above gif does not belong to me. Credit to @thollandgifs

Also, sorry the format is shit. I write on my phone so it’s hella bad.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed.

While his life stood still, hers moved. Most days he could barely move without the nausea taking over. His head pounding, body exhausted and weak beyond recognition. She had established a routine the minute she could. She made sure he had his morning coffee everyday. Whenever his eyes opened, she would be right by his side with his favourite beverage, bringing him breakfast and a warm, loving smile to entice him to get out of bed. She understood on days that his body fought him more than it already was - she was compassionate and considerate. On those days she would help him prop himself in a comfortable position, switch on whatever show they were watching at the time and curl up next to him with her work beside her.

His heart was often overwhelmed with the care she provided him. They were well into the fourth year of their life together, and he had no doubt in his mind that he would love her until his last days. He often solemnly thought of the ring he still had hidden in his drawer of their shared cabinet. He had made a vow to pop the question if he ever recovered, but the thought of that day never coming simply tore another piece from his already dwindling soul.

He would often sit in his chair, or on the bed in their small, studio apartment, watching her flutter around the house in a graceful way only she could. He had memorized her every move when she conducted the most mundane activity. The way she poured a glass of water, the way she tapped her fingers against her thigh to the tune of a theme song, the way she always made his coffee to pure perfection - in a way that nobody else had been able to do.

He had so much love for her, that he was terrified of it slipping away at any moment.

Yeah, I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away. I been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days.

He was 24, and she was 25. They had already planned a life together. They had steady jobs, an intense and passionate love, names picked out for future children, dinner at his parents house every Sunday, lunch with her parents every Wednesday.

He just knew that he had done something to deserve such a fate. At first he was angry, terrified of the possibility of his soul leaving this earth, but as time went on, his self-deprivation grew. Apparently it was common for people in his situation. The fear of dying was clouded by a justification that this was meant to be. He had done something terrible in a past life, and karma was giving him the painful ending he deserved... but he despised the thought, because Y/N didn’t deserve to watch her boyfriend meet his end in this way.

He had thought of near every scenario in his life in which he hurt somebody - cheating on his girlfriend in his first year of college, letting Y/N down time after time, only for her to forgive him. The hurt he caused his parents when he was a teenager and full of such hate for the world. But now, all he could do was pray for forgiveness. He had hope that there was some way he could make it out of this, but he was losing hope rapidly.

Even as he sat with his love on their bed, watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

“When I’m gone,” his voice was croaky, his throat dry and scratchy. “Please tell me you will find somebody else.” He fumbled around to grab her hand, winching as he caught her head snapping towards his in his peripheral vision. He couldn’t turn to see the expression on her face. “You’re so young, so full of life. Your life is going to be so beautiful.”

Her hand was pulled from his, and he steeled what was left of his nerves to get ready for whatever tongue lashing she had planned, but instead he felt the bed dip further beside him, her hands framing his sullen face on each side and softly turning his gaze to meet her own.

“Don’t you say things like that, Tom.” He forced his eyes to stare into her own. His eyes seemed as if they were always ready to release tears, and the intensity of the hurt in her own made his pool unconsciously. “There is no somebody else when the other half of my soul is already with me. I don’t need anybody else because you’re not going anywhere.”

Her thumb brushed away the tear that slipped from his chocolate orbs, ignoring the dark circles underneath that made his face seem further sunken than it was.

“You don’t know that,” he sniffed heavily, dropping his eyes down to his lap. His fingers unconsciously toyed with the bracelet she had given him years ago. A soft, black, faux-leather band. An unfit symbol charm dangled close to the strap, reminding him of her favourite line from her favourite book/movie - the perks of being a wallflower. He had gone wuth her when she got the titular floral piece tattooed on her forearm. She was so happy that day. “One day you’re gonna be in a nice house, a ring on your finger, watching your husband dote over your little baby and you will be at peace in the way I know you crave. I just... I know that will never be me, who slips a ring onto your hand, or waits for you at the end of the aisle. I won’t be the one who holds your hand when you meet your baby, or the one who can give you the life you deserve - the one you want.”

His eyes snapped up to meet her own when he heard her breath grow shaky, but the action caused his brain to lose its equilibrium and he had to close his eyes for a moment. He hated doing so. Every time his eyes were shut, it was a moment that he lost of memorizing every line, curve, angle of her body. He opened his eyes again when able, and he was met with her own eyes as red rimmed as his, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“Don’t you every talk like that, Thomas Stanley. You’re not going anywhere. You’re going to be the one to do all of those things because you’re going to make it and we are going to love each other until the end of our time, together. I’ll fucking Romeo and Juliet this shit if I have to,” her dark joke was met with a wet laugh from them both, before her face melted back into seriousness. “I’m never gonna need another person, Tommy. I have you, and I will have you forever.”

“You make every day a blessing, my love.” He whispered, his lips ghosting over hers as he gathered the strength in his lead arms to pull her into a hug. “You make hell feel like a summers day, and I cherish every moment I have left with you.”

My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings. Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

Their days continued on for another three weeks, the same routine of morning coffee and testing the boundaries of his own fatigue. Three weeks without the dreaded conversation arising again, until she woke to find him staring into the ceiling with such an intense and thoughtful gaze. She knew instantly what was on his mind, and she could feel her heart breaking into more little pieces.

“Tommy?” Her melodic tone was soft, snapping him from his nightmarish reprieve. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing honey. Thinking about us... when we were young and full of life,” he snorted into the dark room, Y/N’s soft laugh pushed through her nose and he felt her smile against his neck. “Just, thinking about how sorry I am for all of this. I’m sorry that I’ve turned your life upside down, that we have changed so much.”

He felt weaker. His body was fighting to hold on, and he felt that they both knew that. He was being eaten up from the inside out, but he couldn’t bear to leave. He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t leave her alone. He needed her, he loved her. He wanted to be her husband and give her everything she wanted in life. He wanted to live, for her.

“I would change everything if it meant I could be here with you,” her voice was heavy, riddled with sleep. Neither of them get much rest anymore. He is always up and down, and she frets too much to sleep through his late night jolts and retches. “You’re worth every minute of every day, Tom. You have nothing to apologize for. It’s not like you chose to have Can-“

“Don’t say it, baby, please?” He pled, silencing her before she could say the word. He hadn’t once uttered it since the day he found out. She had relayed the information to their families, holding his hand the entire time as he sat motionless. “Makes it more real than my emo ramblings.” His laugh was humorless, but he didn’t intend it to be so.

She apologised softly, snuggling closer to him. She knew how much he loved the feel of her body on his, how the intimacy of the comfort made him feel warm. Back when he could handle the weight, she would sometimes wake up curled on top of his chest because he had sought her out in his sleep.

“I would do anything for you, Tommy. I would give up everything I have just to see you smile. You’re the other half of my soul, my infinity.”

He felt a tear slip down his cheek. Her words always had that affect on him, but he loved the way she could send his heart beating with no effort. He loved her. So intensely.

“Sing to me, please?” A request he had let loose so many times before. He adored her voice, and the soft melodies that fell from her lips and lulled him to sleep.

She obliged with a smile on her face, and let the words tumble into his pale skin.

“If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do...”

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me

Two more months passed. His doctors were satisfied, stating that he was slowly improving. His body was beginning to regain strength. He had begun to grow more hopeful, slowly but surely.

Until there was no chance for hope left.

Y/N made his morning coffee, but when she went to rest it on his bedside, he could barely breathe.

Her fingers dialed emergency services faster than she thought possible, her voice cracking as she sung to him over and over, hands cradling his head in her lap as he whispered his love for her.

The coffee went cold as the red and blue lights approached.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed

Tag list: @starshonerose @snookiebrookie @another-lonely-heart @mantlereid

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[trashcatsnark]

NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny” 

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 

Spoilers! 

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 

“So, why not get it removed?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

[bts-trash-blog]

Love Me Again~ Kim Namjoon

Summary: Another life full of love and making up for hurtting you is the thing he dreams of.

Paring: Namjoon X reader

Waening: Angst with a bit of fluff.

An: Happy birthday our beloved leader

The feeling of warm breaths fanning against your chest had your slightly shivering, your eyes opening to meet with a dark room. The weight of arms wrapped around your waist had your heart speed up as your hand reached down, soft hair graced your senses making your eyes close as you let out a grunt of air and then took a deep breath in. Namjoon. Kim Namjoon. Was wrapped around you.

The tattooed covered giant was in your bed after months of you two pushing away from one another. His now ash brown hair was being illuminated from the morning sunrise making his golden skin glow, making the pain of loving him hurt you that much more.  Letting out a soft huff, you slightly push his body off, making him groan as he naturally rolls away from you. Though it's what you wanted, the feeling of the cold air made you shiver, made you long for his body heat. Sitting up in bed, you throw your legs over the edge of the bed and stare at the window, trying to remember the night before, remember his body entering your life again.

It was one in the morning, you had just finished a drama and were heading to bed when the knock on a door had you pause your movements of shutting down your one bedroom apartment down.

The look in his eyes when you opened the door, carved love into the pain he had brought you all those months ago. The memories of tears rushing down your face as the harsh words the two of you throw at one another plays again and again. A never ending rerun of heartbreaks.

“Namjoon?” You whispered, the open door was greeted with a stumbling body, his bloodshot eyes were matched with the smell of liquor and cigarettes. A smell you always hated that was laced in his scent. “Namjoon what are you doing here?” You asked, your eyes slowly blinking as he finally looked up fully, his kissed bitten looking lips had your heart thumping rapidly against your chest as he let out a sniffle.

“They’re not you.”

Your body trailed out of your bedroom, your body freezing as you stumbled over a leather jacket and a pair of ripped black jeans. Making you let out a rough huff of air as you picked them up and threw them onto your couch. Your body moving to the kitchen when you heard a groan from your open bedroom door, your eyes closing as you remember the feeling of his lips tracing your skin.

“You can’t just leave me, break up and come here and say all thoses hookups you’ve had are not me. You ended this. You gave up on me.”  You said making him let out a long breath, his hand moving to grab yours, his fingertips moving to lace with yours making your body jump back slightly.

“I know… I thought I was doing the right thing by you. I thought I was gonna make you realize that I wasn’t worth it.That I was  a selfish bastard who you were better off without.” he said stepping into your apartments making your shiver as his scent entered your home for the first time in months, the sound of your door shutting made you finally blink as his hands moved to rest on top of your shoulders. “But that was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

“You left me broken.” He let out a soft whimper of he  brought you into his chest making you melt as soon as his warmth was pressed against your. “You broke me.” You cried as he tightened his arms around you.

“I’m so sorry baby, I’ll give you the best years of my life if you just take me back.” His mumbled head moving to nuzzle its way into your shoulder, his soft plush lips pressing against your skin making your body relax as your weight falls completely against his chest. “I don't want anyone else, no one but you. You are the best part of me and I let you go cause I didn’t want to destroy it.”

“You’re drunk.”

“But I know I love you.”

“Stupid.” You whispered, your hands moving to cover your face as you leaned against the counter, how could you let him in. How could you let him make you fall all over again for him without even a sober conversation. “Stupid bitch.” You grumble as the smell of coffee makes you turn to your machine and grab your mug, when the sound of cracking against your tiled home makes you freeze as you feel eyes on you.

“Morning.” He mumbled making you nod, when suddenly arms wrap around your waist making you freeze, lips reacting against your shoulder up your neck to your cheek making your eyes close, enjoying the feeling. “I love you.” He whispers, making you shake your head as you pull away and look at him, making his slightly stumble back.

“We can’t.”

“Why not?” He asked his tattoo hands to reach out for you, making your body move closer to him as you let out a groan. As he tilts his head and let his head fall to the side as you let your hand move through your morning bedhead.

“Cause we’ve tried, you like parting and girls way too much Namjoon.” His head shakes as he moves to you making you step back, his body falling onto his knees as he looks up at you, his hands falling to the back of your thighs making you slightly stumble forwards. His nose nudong against your stomach makes you jump as your hand moves to thread through his hair.

“Not anymore. I like spending time in, yeah I still drink but I rather get drunk with you. And the girls were just to get you out of my head.” He pauses enjoying the ways your hand scratches at his scalp. “I..you are the only thing in my life i think I truly got right. You’re the only person in this world  that if you never say my name agins would break me. You..you are everything to me. Please let me love you again. Please.” His words were filled with sniffles making your eyes widen as you tightly grip a few strands of hair in a fist for a second making him moan out.

“How can I trust you not to hurt me again.”

“You..you can’t but I just want another life with you. A different one, a better one.” He pauses as he tugs your shirt making you slowly join him on the ground. His hands moving to cup your cheeks, his eyes looking into yours as his thumb brushed against your lips.

“That doesn’t make me want to get back with you Namjoon.”

“I understand..but I..I’m serious I want a different life with you. A better one, where I wake up to you every morning, and fall asleep with your arms around me. I want to kiss you whenever I want, and hold you hand in front of every living being in this world. I imagine us dancing around in our own place that we'll get together one day. I imagine getting you this perfect ring, and marrying you. I imagine the day we find out we’re gonna be a family, I imagine holding our little girl in my arms for the first time. I imagine holding onto you till my last breath. So please please let me love you agains so this life can be real. Please.”

[alfredosauce50]

What makes me human [Cyberpunk! America x reader] 15

Wordcount: 3, 484 Rating: T for strong language and mild violence “For you, it can be. I'm actually conscious about the taste and origins. You know those protein jellies Zao makes? They're made of his roommates.” Chapter synopsis: Everyone goes out for a night in town for a day off. While Arthur is complaining about the venue of choice, Allen sulks about the prospect of being replaced. When you disappear to the bathroom, he follows you and comes clean about it, even suggesting that you run away with him. You're reminded that you picked the right choice when you come across some unfinished business. The reader is referred to as she/her.

15 - Blood was on the agenda

“Technology advances, but humans don't. We're smart monkeys, and what we want is always the same. Food, shelter, sex, and in all its forms, escape.”

He could repeat the quote word for word if he wanted.

A week had passed since Zao left the planet, leaving you buried to the neck with work, and him, with an unstable mechanic. Alfred was still wasting away, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when the guy was the source of all his problems. Ever since he returned to the guest room after comforting Arthur, this feeling of abandonment never stopped haunting him.

How could it, after seeing you curl up so comfortably with Alfred? Every night was the same. Allen would face you, hoping you could face him. But it was always your back. Your arms were coiled around the blonde's neck like they belonged there. And the image seared into his mind like branding. It only burned deeper into his soul at every passing day as you stuck closer to the man.

Down a narrow flight of stairs in a secluded street was a pounding nightclub. Two bouncers who could easily take his head off guarded the entrance. With tattoos of dragons etched into their skin, the sight was enough to get Arthur warbling again. “Why did we have to come here? The club across the street looked fine to me!”

Allen clicked his tongue and ruffled his hair.

“If it weren't for the fact that two of your friends are on the hit list, we'd go there. But we need every bit of protection we get.” Holding his hips as he gave the two men a squint, a tense silence fell around the group before they gave a soft grunt. A grin stretched over his face. “Good thing your boyfriend has connections.”

“... Hah...” Digging a hand through his choppy blonde locks, he shook his head with a hard frown. “And because of that, that idiot will turn up dead in a ditch one day...” As he trailed off, everyone entered the establishment. One of the bouncers whipped their head over their shoulder to stare at the group that just disappeared inside.

“Didn't we already let that guy in? The blonde one?” He pointed behind him with a thumb.

“... You're tripping balls, man.” The other sighed.

“Not today, I'm not. The one with the blue eyes. Like an hour ago.”

“Maybe he came in again cuz' he wanted to. It's not that deep.”

“This is why I'm better at this job than you.”

“Eat shit.”

It was a cloudy afternoon. A grayish-blue haze had been cast over the city, but what you walked into was so much dimmer in comparison. Nothing but neon illuminated the interior. Lights that faded from blue to purple lined the countertops. The tiles of the dancefloor were a blinding white. Next to it was a heated pool that glowed blue.

As fog clouded over the surface of the steaming water, it curled around the patrons wading in it. Needless to say, you were hypnotized. “Did nobody actually think of bringing their swimsuit?” Scrambling to the edge, you bent down to your knees and played with the white clouds. “A nice hot soak would do my sore muscles some good.” Before your fingers could do so little as graze against the water, Alfred grabbed your wrist.

“But not for your junk. They're practically swimming in STIs... Just do it at home in the bath.” He grumbled, pulling you up. Shivering at the thought, you let him pull you to the bar.

“But the bath doesn't glow...”

“Not yet, it doesn't.”

Allen narrowed his eyes. The guy was so quick to follow you, then lay hands on you, it had him rethinking his life purpose. Protecting you was meant to be his thing. Hell, it used to be his job, even. And yet, here Alfred was, having replaced him. No way. He was just an outsider in the end, wasn't he?

As he watched your interaction with him, he would soon learn he was right to some degree. Maybe Alfred didn't replace him, after all. He just became another figure in your life. Somebody he never managed to be--yet.

“Let's just grab some grub.”

Ever since Alfred arrived, he'd been wondering what was on the menu.

Hunger might have been history, but not eating. And you knew it well. Shooting him a weird smile, you nudged him with your elbow. “You say you don't have organs, but you still have a digestive system. How else do you use the toilet, huh?” Alfred looked at you, turned away, then looked at you again with his face scrunched up in a scowl.

He couldn't admit it, but you were right down to a T. “It doesn't count. It's not exactly real if it's not made of organic materials.”

Taking a seat by the counter, the stools beside scraped back to be occupied by your friends. While Alfred sat on your left, Allen sat on your right. Arthur took the end. “It's all a social construct.” You piped, much to his displeasure. The word wasn't entirely accurate to describe the emotions flurrying in his chest, however.

Was he frustrated? Yes. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to hear what you had to say. And you didn't disappoint. “If something serves a function in your body, it's an organ. Doesn't matter what it's made of.”

Alfred waved over the bartender. “I'm not having this conversation with you. We're from different generations, so I have a right to brood in peace.”

“Fine. But I won't let it destroy you.”

His breath hitched while he was about to order. “Can I--” Darting his eyes to yours, his voice only faltered at the steely look in them. Tearing his gaze from you had never been so difficult. “... Can I get a yakisoba with extra bonito flakes on the top? And uh, six of these dim sum-thingos?” He slid the menu to you.

“What do you want?”

A soft laugh rumbled from your throat as he refused to look at you. I'm finally getting through to your thick-headed ass, huh? But you couldn't be unreasonable. This was always a touchy subject. “I'll just have these dumplings. What about you two?”

Allen raised his brows, unimpressed. “Lotus chips and beer for me. This isn't the most vegetarian-friendly place in the world. Sucks.”

Arthur smirked. “I know, right? But protection is the priority, I suppose. I'll have the BLT.”

“I don't think you get to side with me when you ordered the worst thing off the menu.” The redhead mused, causing the other to flare their nostrils. He slapped his hands down on the counter to sit further up his stool. “But I get it. Aw, everything reminds me of him! Except for this BLT cuz' it's white.”

“Shut your gob and bugger off, Allen! It's literally just food.”

The said man sipped his beer loudly. “For you, it can be. I'm actually conscious about the taste and origins. You know those protein jellies Zao makes? They're made of his roommates.”

“So what? Not everyone has the same eating habits as you. Deal with it!”

You exchanged funny looks with Alfred. “Don't they get along well?”

“Not as well as us. And it'll stay that way so long as you don't talk about your philosophies.”

“... And that's not happening.” The food finally arrived, so the murmur of conversations came to an end. But it wasn't long before they picked up again. “You're not the only one who can have opinions.” Alfred glanced at you with narrowed eyes. “I can't even say that they're as strong as yours. But you'll have to live with them. Maybe you could learn something new.”

He scoffed, but he couldn't bite back a defeated smile. “C'mon, not this again. You of all people should understand how I feel about that stuff.”

“And I've seen what it does to you.” Alfred hung his head at that. This was exactly what he wanted to hear, but it annoyed him all the same. The hardest topics were often the most worth discussing, and this was a perfect example of it. Giving your chest a few indignant bumps with his head, he sulked like a child much to your amusement. “I'd love to entertain you some more, but nature calls.”

Hopping off the stool at that, he thrust out a hand to grab yours. It all happened so fast, even he was shocked. But it became apparent to you both what just happened—he needed you for one last reckoning. For you to see that expectant look of his, saying how he wasn't done with you. After a few moments, he let go, letting you turn away and run off to do your business.

Life had been such a shitshow you almost forgot the situationship between you and him. Even with his lacking memories, he couldn't forget it either. And now, he just had to wait for the right time.

“Right. That's it.” Allen grumbled, scraping his chair back to hop off.

Arthur glanced up.

“And where the hell are you going?”

“Gonna go with her. I've learned to not trust anything anymore.” Jogging after you at that, the mechanic was left with a fellow blonde.

“Well, would you look at that? It takes two to tango.”

Alfred shook his head. “What?”

“You and Allen, I mean.”

The toilet flushed. Leaving the cubicle to wash your hands in one of the communal sinks, you stared at your reflection as you shook away the water droplets. The pandemonium of the club music had faded to a soft thumping, giving you some space to collect your thoughts. Even in the darkness, what you saw in the mirror couldn't be clearer. It was distinctly different from watching yourself in a pond—where the ripples of the water distorted your image—specifically the one in the garden back at headquarters.

Your old home.

But it could burn for all you cared. This was who you were now. Tired, resentful, and fuelled by a fire of hot vengeance.

“... Whatcha thinkin' about?”

Your heart jumped out of your chest as you turned to the voice. Leaning against the doorframe was none other than your old bodyguard himself. “Oh my god, you scared the crap outta me.”

He craned his head to the side with a grin. “Sorry, a force of habit. Security works better when they're discrete.” You responded wordlessly with a small, wistful smile. As nostalgic as it was to have the man by your side 24/7, he didn't have to do this anymore. And it was better that way. Something about bodyguarding never sat well with you. Not with a man of his talents, anyhow.

Walking in to join your side, he bent down to fold his arms across the sink. Then, he rolled his head up to you. “So... Wanna tell me why you look like that?”

“Like... Like what?” Blinking a few times at the mirror, you leaned in to peer at your reflection.

Allen snorted. “Not literally. Well, not your physical appearance. I can tell when something's on your mind.” Straightening up, he squeezed your shoulder as he stared at both of your reflections. Almost instantly, he felt you tense up beneath his fingertips. “I've known you for nearly eight years, dollface. I'm offended that you're underestimating me.” The man pressed his cheek to yours coyly. “Even if you don’t talk to me about your problems, I can smell em’.”

You outstretched your hands to hold the edge of the sink, breaking away from the contact on his skin. It wasn't anything worth paying mind on your end, but the feeling of your face separating from his was reminiscent of tearing something from its glue. It stung as much as it was destabilizing. It showed in his troubled frown, which deepened when he heard your mirthless laughs while you hung your head.

“I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you.” The loudest silence fell around you both as his eyes went round with grief. “It's... Too productive.” Returning his gaze with a bittersweet smile, he felt himself die a little inside. You weren't spared of the sensation as you continued with an honesty so brutal, it killed you to say it. “I've been trying so hard to make something out of myself.”

Your brows trembled ever so lightly as they furrowed together. “But I'm getting so tired, I wanted to just... Give up on the future. Maybe disappear for a bit. But I couldn't bring myself to come to you or anyone about it. You especially.”

Allen huffed out a pained breath. “Why? I wanna help you! You can trust me with anything, you know that! Out of everyone in the world, I'm the closest to you, aren't I?” Holding onto your shoulders, he gave you a desperate squeeze. “Or am I wrong to assume that?” In this space in time, he never felt more betrayed in his life. The hurt coursing through every fiber of his being was unbearable—he preferred being skewered into by your father's blade to this.

“Because it’s Alfred now?”

Your heart sank as you listened to and saw how wounded he was. His lips were trembling, and tears were threatening to spill from his glassy eyes. Never in your life had you seen him cry. The sight was so sobering you couldn’t hold yourself from pulling him down into a tight hug. “No! It's because you're you.” As your bodies swayed from side to side in the embrace, you dug a hand through his hair and screwed your own eyes shut. “You’re my only family in the world. Nothing and nobody will ever replace you, ever.”

He tightened his hold on you as he let a few tears roll down his face. His eyes had been shut as a last-ditch resort to keep that from happening, but they oozed out the tiny gaps of his lids. “Then talk to me.”

Allen never knew he had this fear, but here it stood before him in all its glory, threatening to undo his sanity at the seams. It was the fear of being a second choice. Being abandoned. He already was once, and it nearly cost him his life. But if you did it--“What makes me so different from the rest? Why would it be easier to say this to everyone else?”

“Because you’ve known me since I was thirteen!” You buried your face into your hands to hide how it contorted with pain. Falling deathly quiet at your sudden outburst, he could only watch as you trembled away. “I’ve been working towards something ever since. I always thought I was scared of disappointing dad. But in the end, I was more afraid of disappointing you.”

Allen pulled you in again, and this time, he didn’t hesitate to kiss your cheek. It wasn’t a first, but the way how his mouth lingered on your skin made it feel like something more—something beyond a platonic friendship—and pulling away felt like a sin in itself. “Don’t think that fucking low of me. You could never disappoint me.” Pressing his forehead to yours, he bit back a contented sigh as your cries quietened to sniffles.

“You have nothing to prove. Fuck expectations. You don't have to live the way everyone wanted you to. Just live how you want.” Reaching up to hold your face, he was at a loss from how satisfied it felt to finally say it. But the moment of truth had yet to come—the culmination of everything he wanted in this world.

“Just run away with me. We can put this all behind us. We don’t have to think about this ever again.”

You held onto his hands that found a place on your cheeks. It was a nice thought. To abandon everything you knew to live a carefree and blissful life with Allen. But you declined with little hesitation. “We don't run from things. It's not who we are.” A sad smile made its way to your face. “And I have too much unfinished business.”

Allen wasn't sure whether to think of your response as rejection. But he wasn't about to let it get to him. “... If you ever do, then tell me. Zao's got a nice retreat in the middle of nowhere. We'll pack our things in the middle of the night and disappear by morning.” Your smile spread to him, but his was more bittersweet.

“I just want you to know that you'll always have a way out of everything. I'll wait for you. So just... Give me a call.” He shoved his hands into his pockets to walk off. With one last wistful look over his shoulder, he added this. “I'll always be your guy.”

Going to the bathroom was meant to clear your head, but here you were, sitting in your lonesome in an empty pool room in the penthouse to mull over the conversation. You would be lying if you said you didn't want to run away with Allen. A part of you wanted to return to how things used to be—when it was just you and him. He was the most important person to you in the world, but so was Alfred. You couldn't just forget about him like fuck all, could you? Breathing out a drawn-out sigh, you watched the soft pulsing of lights of the city at night through the window.

Maybe Allen did want you to forget him.

Fiddling with the gun he left you, the barrel scraped against the counter in small slides. Then, you picked it up with a huff to slide off the stool. It was about time you joined the rest. As you did, you caught sight of a familiar silhouette by the window.

Shrouded in the dimness of the room, their body was nothing but a shadow against the scenery of neon holograms and billboards. With a brief squint, you could recognize the person almost right off the bat.

“Alfred? How did you know to come up here?” Tucking the gun into your back pocket, you couldn't help but grin at the pleasant surprise. The said man spun to your voice, then waved. Your grin would've widened at the sight, but it faded upon discovering he was in a different set of clothes than what he arrived in. He came in a dark khaki military jacket and navy blue jeans.

Weird. When did he change to a kimono?

“Hey! I haven't seen you in ages. Come gimme a hug, dammit!” Tightening his arms around your waist, he lifted you up a few inches off the ground. A few nervous laughs fell from your lips as you held onto his shoulders to stabilize yourself. And they felt... A little softer than you remembered. Warmer. Before you could linger too long on the sensation, he set you on your feet and gleamed.

“Whatcha doing in the club, (F/N)? I thought you didn't like places like these. 'Specially when this one's got ties to the underworld and stuff.”

You craned your head to the side—never have you been this baffled. “... You walked in here with us.”

Alfred blinked. “Oh, did I?”

“... Are you drunk?”

He patted his chest a few times without eliciting any sort of whirring noise—immediately, the interaction changed to an unsettling one. But his answer only confirmed your suspicions. “Nope! Stone-cold sober. It would take more than a few drinks to get this baby down.” He gloated, much to your surprise. But the shock soon morphed into a grim kind of understanding.

Alfred couldn't get drunk.

In a heartbeat, you grabbed his wrist, then felt down his forearm. The utmost terror contorted at your expression as you felt his soft flesh sink between your fingers. You only sucked in a horrified gasp when you witnessed his veins disappear under your presses. It was almost as if he was—“Heh. You having fun there?”

Glancing up at him in a dark glower, you never bothered to open your mouth. Instead, you reached for your back pocket. If he was who or what you thought he was, you couldn't let Alfred see him. He couldn't leave this room alive. However, your conviction couldn't triumph the smallest shred of hope that you were just seeing things. There was one way to confirm you weren't hallucinating.

Blood was on the agenda, and you wanted to see it.

You pulled out your gun at light speed and fired a shot into his palm.

The explosive bang was loud enough to reach a few floors down, including the elevator that just left this one. Allen was whistling to himself when he heard it.

As faint as it was, he couldn't mistake it for anything else.

He shouldn't have left you alone.

[untitledtheunknown]

Not saying you have no reason to feel "bleh", sometimes the brain just insists, but there is so much character in the little snippets and commentary and photos you do. Even if they are similar to other people's (which is really hard not to do), they are so unique to themselves it's absolutely worth it.

Hopefully you're feeling better soon, and can find joy in creating and talking about your boys again ❤

Its late so I'm gonna kinda reply to this with what has been going on on my end and where this funk is coming from. Putting it under a read more to spare everyone, but first and foremost I do appreciate all of you beyond belief for reaching out and having such kind words to say. I know its just a me thing but sometimes it all does just get to me. With that being said, feel free to ignore the whole next bit.

I 100% understand and accept its never going to be completely possible to make completely original characters, especially given the restricted format we have for CP2077. I wish we had more power to craft our characters, more like Fallout 4's character creator (which despite the game's flaws I still go back to just to make characters lol). The problem is I see Valor in game and these screenshots of him and while I do like how he looks... its not him. Not completely. His scars are wrong, he doesn't have his tattoos, hair isn't right, he's missing the ports on his body, and overall things just aren't 100% with him. But despite all that, 3rd time around I think he looks pretty good. Again though am limited to what the game allows so a part of me does get a bit offed when I see other ppls Vs that look a bit too similar. I know its just me, I don't take it to heart, its just upsetting reminder I can't make him look how he's supposed to. Same with Umbra, he looks nothing like how he looks in our TTRPG and it really hurts because I spent a long time making him with our GM and I can't show that. Its not possible in game and my art doesn't do him any justice. So it gets frustrating because I look at some of these guys and they're not my characters, just similar figures to them, but not them.

Which is really hard especially when it comes to Val because long ago he was a self insert that I used to project how I wanted to look. I Have never done well with identifying as trans, I don't like to glamorize it or be recognized for it. I'm saving up for chest surgery but I'm fucking terrified of having the scars. I just don't want to be associated and recognized with it after my transition just because it's been really rough to go through in general. I haven't enjoyed this journey at all really, and really wish I didn't have to go through it. Valor in the RPG was my way of coping and going through stuff. Instead of gender though it was his association with cyberware and having parts of his body and "humanity" removed, replaced with machine and wires. I don't project onto him as much as I once did but he still will and forever hold pieces of that history because that's how I made him.

With all that, all I really do have is my words. Part of the problem with that is there's literally years worth of lore. I've been playing the same campaign with the same group of friends since my freshman year of college. So like 6/7 years now? There's a lot. The issue is these are people I'm really good friends with. This game has become a kind of safe zone for us. We're all a bunch of artist that mainly specialized in horror content. We were part of a movie club that mainly watched horror movies. We're the bitches that watched the Saw series during our free hour in the school library, like we are chill. That also just kinda means there's a lot of dark and twisted subject matter that ends up in our games. Characters having experienced some fucked up shit, witnessed some fucked up shit, and have done some fucked up shit. Feel kinda weird posting or sharing some of the more dark things in detail. So end up watering them down and they don't always feel right.

Top of all that, I just don't have the time to do things I wanna do. I feel so goddamn pressured at home and like I should be doing more. I honestly don't know how half these people have the time to learn and do the amount of mods and edits they do. I'm not gonna lie, I'm envious of it. I get 8-10 hours of being yelled at by customers, and then I may or may not have an hour long drive to take my brother to work or pick him up some days, and then whatever my parents have going on. I want to get back into art, I want to learn 3D modeling, I want to learn how to properly mod but I'm usually so stressed out or just exhausted nothing sticks so I don't even bother really. It sucks, because I want to learn, I want to do things, but I can't. I feel like because I have so little private and personal time now if I can't get things quick enough its not worth the effort. Its frustrating but again that's all on me.

And in other news, lotta people around me are dying or have had family die do to COVID and other things. Earlier this year a close friend of mine lost her dad to COVID and she's still struggling with that. A family friend of ours died earlier this week at the age of 35 from unknown causes. I have another friend who is in the psych ward because he is once again dealing with mental stuff and wellness check did not turn up well. Round it all off, my grandpa has basically given up on his life as well, flat out saying there's nothing worth living for anymore. Given his health issues I know its only a matter of time until I'm saying my final goodbye to him as well. So its rough, and fucking sucks. Not much I can do about it, but it makes me feel fucking worse with my own depression and suicidal thoughts. I know I'd never act on the thoughts, but seeing how death effects those around me makes me feel fucking worse for even thinking about it.

The part that sucks the most about it all, and even something I've expressed to my therapist is I'm completely self aware that its all in my head. I know I can't control these situations, and that skills take time to be acquired and grow. I am so grateful for all friends and support I do have, here, on disco, irl, I see the kind words and love and it really means a lot. I feel like a horrible friend because I don't know what to do really. I know its in my head, and I know what I can and can't control. I know what I need to do, yet I don't feel any better. I feel worse, I feel like I'm distant, and dismissive. I feel like what content I am putting out is stale and boring. I just feel lost and I'm not sure what piece I'm missing to really get things going again. I love my characters, I love making stuff with them. I love the story arch I have for Val and Ker and I want to share all of that with you all. I just feel really weird.

[ourladylennon]

this is a stress rant and also I absolutely have to get these thoughts out of my head and onto something so that I can understand how I'm feeling. so pardon me.

I have some very mixed feelings about my latest tattoo experience and it has been incredibly, astoundingly stressful. For anyone who was interested in how it went.

and after typing out this whole rant and reading it back my advice is: ALWAYS make sure it is exactly what you want. ALWAYS speak up if you don’t.

I have a specific style, as everyone, but the style of tattoo I have is a bit of a niche that can be hard to find: geometric design with dotwork/pointillism/stippling techniques to create shading rather then standard fill in shading. This shading style is incredibly time consuming and taxing for the artist and I've had a lot of trouble finding people who specialize in this (and within my area).

I started with an artist about 3 years ago, whom was new to me but known to be good. Got my appt set up, he drew me an entire sleeve- it was absolutely gorgeous. Went through two sessions and his work is genuinely amazing. Clean. Precise. Detailed. Unique. I didn't vibe with him too great but it was something I kind of put aside. But without explaining the whole fucking mess that became, just know that our artist-client relationship fell through. This left me with only the beginning of my tattoo. The whole ordeal was really stressful and upsetting so I put down the goal of getting it finished to try and recoup. And I just continually hit roadblocks trying to find artists who are good at dotwork and willing to do it. Often times they live in other cities/states/etc. Obviously this involves meeting a new artist, trying to figure out if it's a good fit, driving out for consultations/redoing all that process- s t r e s s. Now with covid, it's even more difficult because almost every artist I've come across that I've considered has closed books. All of them being out of town which is fine because it would be worth it. It's expected.

But after three years of this go around of trying to find someone, I was getting really put out by the process and just wanting to get this thing going. (Mistake #1- or #2 technically cause fucking up w the first artist is where it all started and I do regret it to this day).

A new shop opened IN my town- a miracle!!! I started following an artist whose work I found to be particularly amazing. Clean lines, clean shading, artistic seeming. Didn't see any pointillism, but I just like kept seeing her work and thinking damn that's good. So I decided to reach out and told her this is what I'm looking for, a dotwork sleeve and here are some examples of the style I like. I specifically mentioned this and asked if they'd be interested in working on it because I know that dotwork is not everyone's thing. The artist replied and said they've been wanting to get into and would like to do that (we'll call this mistake #3. Do not assume the artist, even if very good at other things will be good at all things. Do not go to an artist wanting a specific style without having seen their work for THAT style).

At this point I sent over pictures of my current tattoo that we'd be adding onto for reference. In my mind this is what I thought would mean: "I am looking at what you have to see how to incorporate it into a new sleeve design and see how I can create a collaborative piece and mesh the two together." (Mistake #4: that was not the case. Do not assume. Anything. Ever.)

The appt date was relatively quick despite the fact that I figured she'd be booked out for quite some time (red flag #1: not because she wasn't busy. But because this was not a whole lot of time to come up with a design but I figured "Well she knows her capabilities better than I do and she wouldn't suggest it that soon if she weren't sure). In my previous experiences, the artist will send you a proof or have a separate appt to review the design. I never received an email with said design (red flag #2, in my personal opinion. But I thought I was just being...extra? Also just thought, okay I'll see it at the appt and it will be OK, right? <- mistake #5).

I show up, there is no sleeve design. (RED FLAG #3) There are two single mandala tattoos. Outlines only. No shading. I'd also like to say my style is much more geometric fractals than it is mandala. A lot of people find these interchangeable but...they're really much different. (RED. FLAG. #4). I genuinely did not see that coming. Maybe I'm wrong to say, but this was negligent in my opinion and experience. A sleeve design ensures that your finished piece flows, that it works together, you can see the whole picture, modify, etc. Especially with it being an addition to my existing work. Cannot stress how much of a red flag.

I'm wigging out at this point. I don't love them but I want this tattoo. I'm going back and forth thinking, "maybe it's just because the shading isn't filled in I can't picture it." (MISTAKE #6: trust your gut!!!). I tell her OK well I like this about this one and that about that one. She only nods and listens, where I was expecting feedback; perhaps an "OK well we can draw it on" or "I can rework it" etc. She didn't and I am too paralyzed to speak up. (Red flag #4)

Mistake #7: I accept it at this point. I pick between the two. She has to go resize it. I'm having a literal internal freak out and battle. I am someone who DOES NOT know how to speak up for themselves. In any way. EVER. For any reason. At any time. I am a fear based individual, in fact, I am nearly certain I have APD (avoidant personality disorder) and it effects me severely and deeply. To the point that simply speaking to someone can be hard for me.

But my brain was screaming you cannot do this! You aren't sure! This is for life! It's your body!! You HAVE to say something! (RED fucking alert)

She came back with the one design resized and my heart is thumping, my chest is constricting, the throat feels like it's closing. I make myself say it. I tell her I don't think this is what I'm looking for. I literally almost busted into tears trying to say it because I was so fucking terrified and overwhelmed. I've never been in a position where I genuinely wasn't sure whether I liked what I was looking at. She says you don't need to be sorry you should speak up this is your body. So immediately, I lost a lot of tension because of her kindness. I thought she would be angry or rude or upset, just because I'm fearful. She proceeded to kind of go in and shade in with a pencil on the stencil to give me a better idea and apologized that she should have had that prepared. I continue asking questions to assuage my concerns and feel....better....ish. she offers to redraw and reschedule but I went against my gut, gave into my desperacy to continue my sleeve, dismissed my feelings as being just my typical overexertion of fear and did something I NEVER do: turn my back on my instincts. (Mistake. Mistake #8)

She was pleasant and I genuinely enjoyed her, felt comfortable with her which is not something I can say about previous artists and that's a good chunk of why I decided to continue. I liked her, I liked her other work I've seen, I just thought that once the stippling was in that I'd see it was really nice. However, I am laying there and I'm like I do not feel poking, which is literally how dotwork is done. Dot by dot. I'd feel her do the tiniest bit of dot-dot-dot and I'm like OK OK I'm just not paying full attention and missing it. But then I'd hear and feel her shading- standard shading. I'm like why is she using a shading tip? I'm just confused honestly. I'm like I have no idea what the could be for, just assume it's necessary for something I didn't realize. But I can see because I'm laying and my arms at a weird angle.

I finally get a peek while she's pausing and its....not dotwork. It's not dotwork at all, in fact. It's too late at this point in my eyes. It was only partially done but what am I gonna do? Stop her in the middle and have an unfinished tattoo? And then what? (Try to) go to someone else to have them do dotwork and have a half unmatching tattoo? There was nothing I could do. So I resigned and accepted this as the consequences of my actions and ill choices. And that's honestly been the hardest part to deal with: I let this happen to myself because I could not speak up. The only person who could have stopped this was ME. And I could not do it. That's how deeply my issues of fear run. And that is terrifying, pathetic, sad.

I'm not saying I got the world's ugliest tattoo. It's okay. Just okay. In the words of RuPaul, meh. I don't want meh. I want astounding. And I didn't do what I needed to to make that happen or not happen.

I just have been in awe over the fact that I asked for dotwork and the artist expressed no concern over this, literally had my existing tattoo right above where they were working and continued to not emulate that style of shading at all. Most of this is my fault, 90% of it. But there was negligence on the artists side and I genuinely don't think they meant it to be. I just don't think they had enough experience, but they too should have spoke up if they didn't feel they could carry it out. They gave me no inclination that they could not or would not be doing dotwork. At any point. And I do feel upset that I don't think they put in the effort or care to work off my existing tattoo in their design, and in looking back, their design also does not look nearly anything like the designs I gave for example. It was my job to walk away and request a redesign or to cancel and I didn't. So in the end this is on me. And it has been very taxing on my mental state.

To end this shit show: the tattoo I just got costed half of what my first one did, while only having taking the fraction of time as my first and being less then half the size of my first. It is not nearly as clean, it certainly reflects their level of experience. The shop environment was not fantastic: it felt a bit like as if I had walked into a chain restaurant...but a tattoo shop. There were no private rooms, there were no tattoo chairs. They were literal stools and that's not...not professional or normal. And I chose to continue.

I'm faced with some really tough decisions moving forward. I am at least thankful it is relatively small ish and wraps towards my inner arm which makes it less visible. But I'm at a crossroads of whether I go through the whole mess of trying to find a FOURTH artist to try and finish my sleeve the way it was meant to be finished (dotwork, whole sleeve design etc) and make the best of it at the risk of having a fucking patchwork arm. Or I continue to work with this artist and see the design through myself (literally design it myself which I didn't want to do but it doesn't appear that I should leave this to them), so that at least the remainder of my arm is consistent shading and work.

And because I've made it sound like the tattoo is atrocious, be assured it's not trash by any means. It's just not what I wanted. Big sis learned a big lesson.

(the immediate center is bothering me the most. But I think it can be altered. Nonetheless. The skill/experience level shows, unfortunately. And you can certainly see the difference between the stipple shading on my first tattoo and the regular shading on the new one.)

I am trying to be positive and that's all I can do. I accept the results and I think it can be fixed to a certain extent, and I can only hope as I move forward that I make the right decision and that the end product is something I enjoy.

[mysterioh]

The Ignorant Beauty & the Beast of New York - Ch. 21

PAIRING: MOB!STEVE ROGERS X READER

SYNOPSIS: You love biology. The study of life excites you. But you hate people. Especially the ones that like to stick their nose in your business. Too bad the King of Brooklyn didn’t get the memo.

MASTERLIST

A/N: I am so sorry that I wasn’t able to reply to everyone’s comments last chapter. I didn’t have much time and when I did I thought I was too late. I’m really sorry for that, but I want everyone to know that I really appreciated them!

Moonlight Serenade

Your eyes burn from the brightness of your phone. 

It’s late, sometime around ten. The notes you were revising were left abandoned on the desk as you retreated into the depths of your bed, buried deep inside the blankets and pillows. You mindlessly wander from one app to another, trying to pass the time and refusing to go to sleep. A ritual you performed every night before falling asleep at an ungodly hour.

You open the messages app. Steve’s contact, decorated with an array of emojis, was at the top, bolded, and with the number “10” next to it.  

Of course, he had sent more messages than just ten. These were just the latest that you had decided not to open. You left him on read for the past two days and knew for a fact that he was probably ripping his hair out at this point. 

Writhe in your misery, Rogers. 

Your finger hovers over his name. It feels good and bad all at the same time. You were too stubborn to admit it, but you missed him dearly.  

The aroma of bergamot and olive blossom that came off him when he pulled you in for a hug. The lilt in his voice when he whined for another kiss.  

It was the little things about him that you missed the most. That made your heart flutter and feel heavy at the same time. 

It’s a foreign sensation. You were no dummy, you knew what it was. You were simply scared out of your mind.  

“Maybe I should reply, ” you whispered to yourself then shake your head. “ No, he deserves it, ” you close the app. You swipe through the pages and sigh. “ But I miss him, ” you mumble with a frown. You open the messages app again and stare at his name and the trail of words underneath.  

I know I’m stupid, but–  

“Yeah, you’re stupid, but so am I, ” you thought. “ Let me call him, ” you go to the call icon in the corner.  

“No, he has to call you. Don’t take the first step,” your conscious speaks. 

You grumble from your inability to make a decision and slam your phone on the side table face down. You snuggle deeper into the blankets until it’s up to your nose. 

“Boys are bad. Sleep is good,” you yawn.

Suddenly, a loud bang comes at the window making you jump out of bed. You stand at the edge of the window and peek at the corner to find a stupidly familiar face. You groan loudly and slide the window up. 

“What is wrong with you? Are you trying to break my window?!” you whisper-shouted at him.  

Steve gives you a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I have a strong arm, haha.” 

You push the window down. 

“No wait,” he pleads with an outstretched hand. “Please? Just listen to me this one time?” 

You pause and wait for him to speak. He doesn’t say anything. “Well? I’m waiting.”  

He stands straight, the streetlight above him casting a shadowed light over him. “How have you been?”  

No reply. 

“Tough crowd,” he murmurs with a chuckle, before clearing his throat again. “Okay, um, so I’ve never done this before and I’m only going to do it once. So listen closely.”  

You roll your eyes at him and cross your arms. “Just get on with it.”  

He nods and begins to sing softly. "Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know?"  

He grows louder, gaining confidence with every word.  

"That something wasn't right!"   

Your eyes grow wide and jaw drops.  A deep red scatters on your cheeks as you stand there dumbfounded. Steve keeps singing, off-tune with every ounce of energy in him. It’s oddly endearing, warming your heart with every note he sings off-key. But it’s not worth waking up the entire apartment complex. 

You stick your head out the window "Steve stop! You're gonna get in trouble!" you hiss. 

He refuses to listen and continues, really starting to feel the song with his hips.  

"Show me how you want it to be. Tell me, baby, cause I need to know now oh because,"  

Another window slides up and an old man sticks his head out. "Who the hell is that?" he barks, “Don't make me come down there!" 

"Hey, asshole,” a woman shouts, “Shut up before I call the police!”  

"My loneliness is killing me!" Steve keeps singing. “And I! I must confess I still believe, ~still believe~.” he screeches.  

He’s fearless and shameless.

“Hey, you!” the grouchy woman shouts at you. “Is he yours?” 

You cover your face in embarrassment, your face hotter than pepper. 

"When I'm not with you I lose my mind,” he points at you. “Give me a sign!” he spreads his arms out. “Hit me, baby, one more time!”  

"Steve get your butt up here right now!" 

He stops immediately with the dumbest smile on his face. “Really?” 

“Quit looking at me dumbass and get up here!” 

He nods and runs to the door. After giving your neighbors an apologetic smile, you quickly slam the window shut. You walk over to the door and buzz Steve in. You pace in front of the door, nervously biting your nails. You’ve never been so embarrassed in your entire life. A single knock comes at the door and you swing it wide open. 

Your lips twist into a scowl at the sight of him. "You are absolutely, most definitely, the worst–"

Steve cuts you off by slamming his lips onto yours. He holds your heated face in his cold hands. You melt into his arms, your knees grow weak, as he kisses you with every ounce of passion in him. 

You push him away gently to catch a breath. "Wow," you whispered breathily. 

A pompous grin spreads on his face. "You wanna repeat that, princess?"

You avert your gaze. “I hate you,” you pout. 

"Baby, I'm sorry. Please give me another chance?" 

 "I shouldn't.” 

 He turns so you’re looking at him. He takes your hands in his. "You should,” he whines, bringing them to his lips. “Haven’t you tortured me enough?” 

You break character. You always did when it came to him. "Kiss me like that again and I might reconsider,” you tell him with a smirk. 

In a blink of an eye, your back hits the wall softly as Steve takes your lips in a fiery, passionate kiss. Your hands work around his body, sliding over every line of his perfect physique until they wrapped around his neck. 

 Unexpectedly, his hand drifts to your hips, pulling you closer to him. He began nuzzling your neck with kisses. So faint, they were like whispers. Your breath quickens. Your body grows weak in surrender to him. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to yours. 

 Lips parted, your breath mingled with his. Your heart flutters against your chest. 

 When he looks at you with his ocean blue eyes, you realize that strange feeling you were so scared of was never something to fear.

 Steve was all logic and cool until your skin brushed against his. Then something not only stirred him but overtook his thinking. The only thing that mattered was touching you more, kissing your mouth, worshipping every part of you for all its worth. 

 When his name escapes your bruised red lips, voice sweet and breathless, laced with desire, Steve realized that you were the half that made him whole. 

Sunlight shines through the curtains, rather distractingly. 

You grumble softly, covering your face with the sheet and nuzzle your nose into Steve’s bare chest. 

“You gonna sleep all day?” he chuckles. 

“What’s it to you?” you mumble against him with a frown. 

He chuckles. “Damn, did I wear you out that bad?”  

You slap him on the chest.  

“I was just joking.”  

“I don’t like your jokes,” you grumble, turning over to your side.  

He follows you, slipping his arm underneath and around you. “Baby,” he nuzzles his nose into the curve of your neck.  

“Stevie,” you whine, “I wanna sleep.”

He pulls you closer until your back is taut with his chest. “But it’s almost noon.” 

“You got somewhere to be?” you drawled, eyes still closed.

“Just here with you.” 

You chuckle lazily. “Then let me sleep?” 

Steve huffed. “I’m bored of watching you sleep.” 

“You can sleep too.” 

“But I don’t wanna sleep.” 

You twist your neck over to look at him. “Then what do you want to do?” He gives you a coy grin. “No,” you deadpanned, turning over. 

“I’m playing with you, sweetheart,” he chuckles. “Let’s go do something.” 

“I prefer my Saturdays in bed.” 

Steve groans before falling onto his back and flipping you over with him. “You’re incorrigible,” he mutters, reaching for the pack of cigarettes he left on the bedside table. 

You snuggle into his side contentedly, wrapping an arm around his chest. “What’s so wrong with wanting to cuddle with my boyfriend?” 

“There’s nothing wrong,” he speaks with a stick in his mouth. He grabs his lighter from the table and lights it, then throws it back. Your finger traces over the tattoo on his chest while he takes a languid puff. “But I thought we’d do something more fun. Something more active. Ya know?” 

You turn onto your stomach and look up at him. “You just can’t sit still, can you?” 

“I don’t know,” he shrugs with a smug grin, “you managed to tie me down.” 

“If I do recall, you were the one chasing after me,” you reply, making him blush hard. 

He leans in just a bit and steals another kiss as if he hasn't already kissed you a hundred times through the night. He takes another whiff of his cigarette.

"That's gonna kill you someday," you remarked. 

He chuckled. "Been doing it for a while hasn't killed me yet." 

"That's because it takes time. It builds and then wham!” you smack him on the chest. He winces in reply. “It hits you when you least expect it." 

 He rolls his eyes before bringing it to his lips again. "If you say so, Doctor." 

 You frown. "I'm being serious."

"Have you ever tried it?" 

"What? Smoking?" you question incredulously. "No!" 

"Here try it.” 

"I don't want any of that stuff,” you push his hand away. 

"You're not gonna die from one whiff,” he states, “Promise. It won't kill ya." 

You look at him warily as he pushes the cigarette into your face. Taking the stick from him, you hold it with your pointer and thumb. You take a slow drag and start coughing instantly. Steve laughs from his belly. 

"Yuck!' You coughed. 

"It's a bit strong,” he says as he wipes a tear. 

"How do you even like this stuff?" You grimaced, waving it around in the air. He goes to grab it from you and you pull your hand away. "Uh, uh, not anymore," you jammed the butt of the cigarette onto the small glass plate on the side table. "Bye-bye smoking." 

"You're too much sometimes." 

You smiled warmly, smoothing your hands over his chest. "I'm saving your life, moron. You'll thank me later." 

He takes your hand in his and kisses the back of it.  “What would I do without you? Seriously, I mean it. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

"You're so cheesy," you groaned, cupping his face with your hand. He nuzzles his face into your hand while you brush the pad of your thumb against his cheekbone. His eyelashes flutter as he looks at you with vibrant blue eyes that fill you with the warmth of the sun. 

You envied just how pretty was, but at the same time felt so lucky that he was yours. 

“I love you.” 

It rolls off your tongue softly, so soft that it was barely audible.  

“You love me?” he repeats as if he’s scared. 

You swallow deeply. It wasn’t supposed to come out just yet. 

“I do,” you say, “I mean at least I think I do,” you avert your gaze onto his tattoos. Your finger traces over it again, over every loop and swirl. “Truth is, I don’t really know much about love,” you whisper. “I’ve never received much of it growing up, and I’ve always been trying to run away from it. So I don’t know a lot about it.” 

You take his hand in yours. A dry ache begins to form in your throat. “But with you, I don’t feel alone or afraid. The way I’ve felt my entire life. And isn’t that how you’re supposed to feel when you’re with the one you love?”

He nods slowly with a humble smile. “I think it does because I feel the same exact way when I’m with you.” 

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispers. It’s only for your ears to hear. “I love you so much.” 

His fingers weave into your hair pulling you closer until his lips meet yours in a searing kiss as a promise to always be yours. His other hand goes around your waist pulling you up tighter against him and yours go around his neck. He flips you over and your heart leaps when your back hits the bed. 

Everything felt perfect for a moment in time. In the solace of his arms. Under the warmth of the golden morning sun. Only you and him, hidden from the rest of the world. 

 Every burden gone. Every fear dispelled. 

Lazy mornings could never be this perfect. 

Taglist (CLOSED):

@ashwarren32 @rootcrop @savedbystark @little-dark-empress @great-goddess-of-sin @boxofteenageideas @imsonick @achishisha @calwitch @chuckennuggets1213 @captainchrisstan @thirstybunz @littlebees-things @voltage-my2dlove​ @booktease21 @rinkashirikitateku @harleyscheekheart @allegra-writes​ @eliza5616​ @bookgirlunicorn @fckdeusername @illbethethundertoyourlightning @kaetastic @mccrps @undiadeestos @iced-capsicle

Permanent Taglist: @murdermornings @chuckennuggets1213 @miraclesoflove @hailmary-yramliah @andiebell2023 @anjali750 @gabbie-is-sad @drayshadow @vxidnik​ @ivvitm1109​ @myboyfriendgiriboy​

[hermannsthumb]

Gonna request some camb0y newt who has Hermann as a regular follower who may or may not be requesting used clothing from Newt...😳

this one is less h0rny and more dumb and I died every time I typed newt’s screen name but (ALSO THE FACT THAT TUMBLR KEPT BLOCKING THIS MESSAGE....unbelievable) 18+/not sfw below cut

-------------------

The whole thing only started because of the kaijus.

It seems foolish to place the blame on them, considering the severity of the damage they’ve caused in every other aspect of life, but it’s the truth. Hermann was never brilliant at romance even in the best of times; he never knew quite the right words to say, or quite the right way to kiss, and certainly not how to keep men interested enough to come back for more than a date or two. Then the end of the world came, and the jaeger program ate up what little free time Hermann had, and dating simply fell to the very lowest tier of his priorities. He had work to do. He had lives to save.

Unfortunately, his libido continued to run rampant.

Masturbation could only get one so far, though Hermann was undeterred and tried almost anything: dildos, vibrators, expensive lubricant, a paid subscription to a high-quality pornography website. He cancelled this after a week, when he realized none of its featured men--though undeniably good-looking--fit his particular area of interest. Besides, it was far too impersonal. Hermann did not like spending half of his time watching a video or scrolling through a photo gallery wondering what that man was doing now, or whether or not he’d enjoyed himself, or what he was like in person... In a fit of desperation, Hermann picked up a subscription to another website that promised live men 24/7. And, well. To make a long story short, Hermann is pretty sure he’s in love.

The object of his affections is twenty-something and stocky, a good few inches shorter than Hermann (he’d wager, anyway), with a chestful of tattoos and a voice that’s almost high enough to be grating. Hermann has seen his face only fleetingly, but it’s enough for him to know it’s a highly agreeable one. He’s got a nice sense of humor, seems intelligent enough, and the glimpses Hermann’s caught of the bedroom he streams from (at the perfect time of day, late enough that Hermann’s inhibitions are entirely nonexistent) indicate a healthy love of science fiction. 

Hermann is mostly in love with him because of how good of a show he puts on, though. Where Hermann fails in his use of dildos or vibrators and other nonsense, the man succeeds, and indeed excels, and he’s endlessly creative with dressing in lace and other funny little costumes. It makes for some very inspired jerking off on Hermann’s end. More importantly, it makes for a calming of his libido.

Hermann doesn’t know his real name, only his chosen screen name, though it doesn’t really matter: kaijulover69 is most certainly the man of his dreams.

Well. Nobody’s perfect.

“Tonight’s stream is dedicated to a very special fan for all his support,” kaijulover69 begins. He’s wrapped in a bathrobe, though Hermann has a feeling he knows what’s beneath it, and he flushes pleasantly with warmth at what’s soon to come. “And for what I’m wearing right now. You know who you are. Thanks again, dude!”

His lips are just visible on camera, and he grins coquettishly before slipping the sleeve off his right shoulder. Then the left. “That very same fan requested a strip tease tonight,” he continues, “and--well, I’ll let the rest be a surprise, huh?”

The belt is undone. The robe slips down to the bed, revealing the object of Hermann’s affections clad in nothing but a rather small pair of lacy black undergarments. (And a bloody expensive pair, at that--cost a third of Hermann’s weekly salary. It’s worth it.) You look very attractive, Hermann types encouragingly into the chat box, and hope it’s visible between the pleads for kaijulover69 to flash his face or pull his genitalia out already. 

He doesn’t appear to see any of them. “My week was pretty lame,” he continues. He begins to idly run his hands up and down his bare chest; Hermann mirrors the action on his own, enjoying the shiver he manages to elicit from himself even through two layers of shirt and sweater. “Work stuff has been kicking my ass. And--” His fingers falter. “Well, there’s this guy I really like, and we’ve kinda been...seeing each other, but I just found out he’s actually seeing someone else. So I guess it’s like, I realized I’ve been making all this shit up in my head?”

Who would ever turn down such a marvelous specimen of human? Hermann’s temper flares with a mingling of both righteous offense on the man’s behalf and a little bit of jealousy that he’s not the one who’s so captured his heart. He would like to knock some sense into them, whoever they are.

“But you don’t care about that,” he says, and forces a laugh. “You want to see me mess these up, don’t you?”

His hand drifts down to his panties, and he gives himself a squeeze through them.

“Please,” Hermann says happily, though he knows there’s no one to hear.

------

There’s an email from Newton waiting for him in his inbox the next morning. No subject.

Hey, dude-

Sorry I left you hanging yesterday. I was just a little shocked. Not shocked that you have a partner or whatever, of course you do, that’s totally normal, just that you never told me about them until now. I read over your latest article, and I just wanted to say what an utter load of--

“Hmph,” Hermann says, and quickly scrolls up and away from Newton’s annoying little rant.

Even as he does so, he feels a pang of guilt he doesn’t quite understand. Newton is shocked he has a partner: so what? And, er, so what if that partner isn’t quite as real as Hermann is pretending? The question came at him fast, and unexpected, and so very quickly into the switch from letter correspondence to email; kaijulover69 on his mind, Hermann panicked and wrote yes, I do have someone in my life. It’s not entirely a lie. Though Hermann holds no illusions about the nature of their dynamic, the man has certainly taken up the same amount of Hermann’s time and money that a real partner would. And besides--it’s easier. Less messy. Newton would probably try to set Hermann up with someone, or pester him about his sex life, or even--God forbid--try to offer him advice. (Once I blew a guy in the bathroom of this shitty dive bar, try that, he told Hermann a few weeks ago, and I always take my dates to the aquarium so I can talk about shit and look smart.) 

It’s also helpful in dissuading Hermann from his daydreams and illusions of dating not kaijulover69, but Newton; that, he fears, is an even grander pipe dream.

He skims Newton’s--rather poor--critique of his work, ignoring entirely his comments on Hermann’s partner, and types up a fast rebuttal. Kaijulover69 has another stream tonight, and he doesn't want to miss it.

--------

“The trick,” kaijulover69 pants, “is to just, uh, relax your muscles as much as possible. It’s easier when you’ve got someone doing it for you, obviously, but...”

His chosen method of masturbation tonight is a frightfully large tentacle dildo, wider and longer than any prick Hermann’s seen in his life. Hermann’s not sure if such a dildo would fit inside him; he’s not even sure if it’s going to fit inside kaijulover69. The man is rather compact. It’s stopped about halfway into his body, and even from the rather distant angle Hermann can tell it’s stretching him tight. 

“...I might’ve jumped the gun a little,” the man says, and bursts out into breathy laughter. “Should’ve, uh, should’ve gotten the smaller size. Or worked up to this one.” He works another centimeter into himself before his body goes taut. “Go--go big or go home, I guess?”

One hand moving steadily around his prick, Hermann uses the other to type an encouraging message: Excellent effort.

Kaijulover69 pulls the dildo out to the thinnest section, then once he relaxes, begins a rhythm of short, shallow thrusts. Each time, it goes in a little deeper. It’s very good to watch, and listen to as well; his little gasps, the creaks of his bedsprings, the spread of his legs widening. Hermann briefly considers how badly he would like to be the one pushing it into him and dragging out those sounds, and is surprised to find himself orgasming.

He tips generously once the stream is over: he does like to consider himself some sort of gentleman, and he likes seeing how excited it gets kaijulover69.

-------

The package arrives on an entirely ordinary Tuesday some three weeks later. Autumn has come, bringing with it a rather heavy series of rains, and Hermann is drenched and shivering when he finally ducks into the relative warmth of his flat. The knowledge of what the box tucked under his arm contains warms him considerably; he rented a P.O. Box for one reason and one reason exactly, not even daring to have his name attached to it. It’s gauche, he knows, but--isn’t it a bit like recycling? Kaijulover69 gets a fresh, exciting outfit from Hermann, and Hermann gets it back after he’s--well.

Hermann needs to unwind somehow. There’s nothing wrong with it!

The black lace undergarments are wrapped neatly up inside the box, with a sweet little pink bow on top. Attached to that is a simple handwritten card: To my number one fan! ❤️ There’s plenty more where this came from...

Simple, and innocently flirty. And so familiar it makes Hermann’s blood run cold.

“It’s not possible,” he says.

And yet--isn’t it? Hermann’s never seen his face--either of their faces--and the screen name--

There is no return address on the package, but a frantic search of its wrappings reveals its origin: stamped in black ink over frog-themed postage is BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS. “No, no,” Hermann mutters to himself, even as he reminds himself (unhelpfully) that plenty of people are from Boston. He tosses it to the bed and clacks over to his desk, clutching the card so tightly it crumples. Newton’s letters are all in the top drawer--he just needs--

The handwriting is a perfect match.

“Bugger,” Hermann groans.

[bangtan-madi]

Year of the Rabbit — Five: Peripheral

Pairing — Jungkook x Reader, Hoseok x Yoongi, Taehyung x Jimin

Tags — best friend!Jungkook, non-idol au, flower shop au, gym au, florist!MC, gym owner!Jungkook, brother!Namjoon, friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining

Genre — fluff, angst

Word Count — 2.4k

Summary — Blame it on the storm or the secret feelings or the snow-in, but one thing is for sure: a lot can happen to two best friends when they're confined to their stores overnight. 

Warnings — language

Part — 5 / 7

Previous — Next

Jungkook straightens his back. The resolve on his face settles into a firm decision. He takes a long swing from his soju, emptying the bottle, and turns towards you. 

"How do you suggest I go about doing that, then?"

"How do you mean?"

"You're a girl. How would you want someone to tell you that they were into you?"

"What, do you think every girl likes being asked out the same way?" At his dumbfounded expression, you scoff. "Aish, I don't speak 'girl,' Bunny. You know her. What would she like?" You tap the side of his head with your knuckles. "Use that brain."

Jungkook rolls his eyes, shoves your hand away, and replies, "Just humor me, would you? Give me some ideas."

Unable to ignore his insistence, you huff out a breath and tilt your head slightly. "Well...if you're scared of face-to-face, maybe try over the phone?"

"Like a text?"

You shake your head vigorously, an unintended groan slipping out. "What? No, that's the worst idea ever! I was thinking more phone call confession. Those are cute."

A tiny smirk tugs on the corners of Jungkook's lips, and the sides of his eyes crinkle as you speak. "That's a kdrama cliche if I've ever heard one."

You grab one of the throw pillows and hold it up, eyes narrowing at your target. "Say it again, I dare you."

The brunet raises his hands in defense. "I didn't say it wasn't cute!"

"You wanted ideas, you get ideas." Lowering the throw pillow, you hold it to your chest and turn your eyes from his. "Don't take my word for it. Would she like that?"

"Maybe...it's worth a try, honestly."

"That's really not a great way to answer that, Kookie." Turning around so that you're sitting cross-legged in front of your companion, you place the pillow in your lap and gesture towards him. "So, if you wanna call her, now you need to decide when."

His eyes widen a bit, and a pink tint covers his cheeks. "After the Lunar New Year, maybe?"

"Why not now? Everyone's in a celebratory mood. Everyone's happy. This is the best damn time, and besides, you got me—your loyal wing-woman—here to help you."

Jungkook rolls his eyes. "You're not seriously suggesting—"

"—Call her," you interrupt. "Right now."

The brunet's expression shifts from surprise to horror. "We don't even have service thanks to the storm!"

Pulling your cell from your pocket, you show your companion the three bars with a smug smile. "Storm's passed, Bunny. Call her."

"No way."

You grip the edge of the pillow and lean forward "Why not! I helped you ask out that girl in tenth grade. You were a chicken then, like, even more so than now. I can guide you through this."

Your best friend shakes his head as he pulls himself to his feet. Shuffling away from you, back towards the makeshift kitchen in front of the bakery, he replies, "Not gonna happen, [Y/n]."

You pick yourself off the ground and follow him. "Seriously, though. Why not? How long have you been wanting to ask this girl out? A while, yeah? Take it from me: waiting only makes it harder."

Jungkook begins to clean up the makeshift kitchen, keeping his hands busy on that task and he murmurs a soft reply. "I'd rather do it on my own time. Nothing against you, I just..."

Seeing his obvious discomfort, and realizing that he's not going to change his mind, you relent and let your next argument fall away. You grab a reusable grocery bag from the shelf by the registers and return to help him put things away. Jungkook's gaze flickers up to yours, clearly taken back by your silence.

"That's it?" he asks. "You're not going to push it anymore?"

"No, no," you reply, giving a dismissive wave of your hand. "You wanna do it on your own time, that's okay. I won't force you."

"Then why do you sound so salty about it?"

Tilting your head to the side, you blow a piece of hair out of your eyes. "'Cause I'm always salty?"

Jungkook snickers at your retort, showing his agreement through his lack of comeback.

The following minutes of cleanup are silent. The two of you enjoy each other's company as you put the ingredients into the bag, clean the cooking equipment and pans, and fix the mess around the cooking area. As you retrieve the dishes from the cubby area in front of the window, Jungkook counts out the amount of money owed to the store. Plus an extra tip to account for the mess and disturbance for the evening. You've known the owner for some time, and you highly doubt he'd mind given the circumstances, but seeing Jungkook go out of his way to make things right gives you a sense of pride.

And the little whisper of curiosity perks up again at the thought of who he might be pining after. It had better be someone worthy of him. You're protective of all your friends, but none more than your best friend. It twists your stomach in knots to think about him going through another heartbreak. 

But what if this girl really is the one for him? You've never known him to be secretive. If she means this much to him, and he's too shy to talk about her, she's worth asking about.

Again.

You slip behind him at the register, standing up on your tip-toes to whisper, "Although, if you had asked her out already, you'd be at her apartment getting some right now instead of freezing your ass off here with me—"

The brunet groans loudly, caught off-guard by your sudden appearance, and tosses the bills onto the counter. "—Fucking knew you wouldn't let it go."

"I'm just sayin'! Year of the Rabbit could've started off with a bang for the Gym Bunny."

He turns on his heel, staring you down with an unamused expression and cocked eyebrow. "You realize I'm not even born the Year of the Rabbit, right? I'm Year of the Ox."

With a wave of your hand, you reply, "Ox, Rabbit, whatever. It's not even good luck for your birth year, anyway. Be glad it's not the Year of the Ox."

"At least I'm not Year of the Tiger, like you."

"Which explains my shitty year last year," you snide, referencing the prior year in the Chinese zodiac cycle. "Well, what's your girlfriend's zodiac then?"

Jungkook runs a hand through his dark, unruly locks as he turns his back to you. "Um...Rabbit."

"Oof, then maybe don't call her."

He moves across the room, scoops up the blanket from the flower shop, and shakes the crumbs of food from the interior. Eyes still averting yours, he returns, blanket in hand. Draping the scarlet fabric across your shoulders, you fall silent. All sarcasm and teasing instantly fades at the closeness. The gesture silences you; tattooed fingers are gentle and warm as they tighten the throw around you, brushing against your exposed neck.

"Wh—What was that for?" you murmur, voice suddenly softer in the neon light of the bakery.

Jungkook grins, and your heart drops into your stomach when his dimples take center-stage. "You looked cold."

"Oh...really? I feel fine."

A single inked finger caresses your cheek, leaving a trail of tingles and warmth in its wake. "Your cheeks are rosy." His voice is even quieter than yours, and for a brief moment, his gaze locks with yours.

Swallowing dryly, you cup your cheeks between your palms. "I feel warm."

He chuckles, "That's probably the soju, Flower Child."

You narrow your eyes as you stare up at him, keeping your vermilion cheeks covered. "You're trying to distract me, aren't you." It's more of an accusation than a question.”

Jungkook sighs heavily, dropping his hands from the blanket's periphery. "You're really not gonna let this go, are you?"

"I'm just curious!" you exclaim, shaking yourself out of the stupor caused by his closeness. "Who's lucky enough to grab your attention?"

His eyes close for a brief moment. In the silence, you feel the heaviness return to the conversation. The air is uncomfortable, and you find yourself shuffling in place.

"After the holiday," he breathes, letting his attention move to the tile flooring below. "Maybe...Maybe—"

The sound of explosions and the sight of scarlet flares raining from the sky cuts his sentence off. You jump slightly, instinctively moving closer to him. Jungkook's hand reaches for yours, and when you glance up at him, you see his eyes glued to the windows that line the front of the supermarket. 

When it happens a second time, he drags you towards the front, moving slow and cautious. The scarlet lights rain down from the sky again, and from your spot against the glass, you see the aftermath of multicolored firework displays.

Once you realize what the origin of the explosion is, a grin spreads across your face. Your fingers lace with Jungkook's, and you tug him towards the supply closet from where you came hours prior.

"C'mon!" you cheer. "The snow's stopped, and we gotta get a better view."

"Where?" your best friend inquires, though he allows you to tug him along behind you.

"The roof! Follow me, I think I can get to it from the attic!"

The Busan native follows you without question. Your hand in his, the pair of you trek across the supermarket, into the supplies closet, and back up the ladder into the attic space. You recall Yoongi telling you at one point that there was an entrance to the roof somewhere inside.

Upon entering the connecting space above the stores, you're met with the familiar chill and darkness. Jungkook utilizes the flashlight on his cellphone without you having to ask. Trudging along, you find the entrance to the roof in less than a minute. The door is small and hardly recognizable but thankfully unlocked. 

Pushing through, you and your companion land on a long rooftop that gives a gorgeous view of downtown Seoul. The snow has stopped falling, and the storm has moved on in the direction of the Yellow Sea. Every rooftop, every building, every street is covered in white. But slowly, as if Itaewon-dong is awakening after a winter slumber, lights reappear. Flares, lanterns, fireworks: the city comes to life before your eyes. Hues of gold and scarlet contrast beautifully against the porcelain. 

Another firework bounds into the air, originating from the hill near Namsan Tower. You tug on Jungkook's hand, nodding towards the edge of the building. "C'mon, let's get a closer look."

Leaning against the edge of the building, arms propped against the railing, you turn your gaze upwards as a third round of fireworks shower the sky with warm colors. Jungkook stands beside you, hand still over yours on the brick ledge. The temperature is still around freezing, but you hardly mind. But you have a sweatshirt and blanket wrapped around you, and your concern shifts to your best friend.

"Are you cold?" you ask, looking over at him.

His breath comes out in vague clouds, but he's smiling as he shakes his head. "Nope."

"Are you lying?"

"Maybe..."

With a playful roll of your eyes, you shrug the blanket from your shoulders and drape it over him, covering his head and shoulders with ease. Jungkook tries to push it back into your grasp, but you give him a scowl and state, "Don't give me that, Gym Bunny. I have a sweatshirt. All you have is that jacket, and it's hardly meant for snow. I'm perfectly warm—"

To your surprise, Jungkook grabs the edges of the blanket in both hands, moves to stand behind you, and wraps his arms around your middle. The blanket acts as a cocoon of body heat as he sets his chin on your shoulder and pulls you back into him. "How about this, then?"

Stammering over your words, you try to hide your blush by turning back to focus on the fireworks. "Yeah, that works, I guess."

You can feel him smirking against your shoulder as Jungkook takes your affirmation as a signal to relax against you. He's fully aware at how his back-hugs shut you up, and he's completely willing to use them to his advantage. 

"Happy New Year, [Y/n]," he murmurs after a few minutes of silence.

Tugging the blanket tighter around you both, a small smile slips onto your face. You've never been one to believe in Lunar New Year miracles, the ones your grandmother told you about when you were small, but with Jungkook this close to you, you can't help but stand in awe and wonder at the butterflies in your stomach. 

"For what it's worth, you don't have to tell me anything," you add, trying to hide the tender and sensitive heart you're nurturing. "I know you'll share when you're ready, and I hope you didn't feel like I was pressuring you."

Jungkook shakes his head, chin brushing against your sweatshirt. "I never thought that." 

"Oh? Good..." You heave a sigh. "Must be some girl."

"She is," he admits. "And it's not that I don't want to tell you. I just..."

Shaking your head, you reach your hand up and back to pat the top of his head without turning around. "You don't have to say anything. Let's...Let's just watch the fireworks, yeah?"

Jungkook doesn't respond verbally, but the way his arms tighten around your center lets you know he's heard you. 

"Happy New Year, Jungkookie."

In that moment, under the fireworks, you conclude that it doesn't matter who this girl is. As long as you have him in your life—no matter the role—you're content. You can live with being best friends if it means he's happy. That means more to you than the feelings you push down, and you'll always put his joy above yours.

Because if there's one thing that Jungkook has always been, it's your closest friend, your partner in crime, your one constant thing. Ever since you two met, he's always been bunny smiles, shining eyes, and pure of heart. He's always been there, at the edge of your vision, peripheral and steadfast—like the fireworks exploding in the corners of your eyes.

Taglist — @kooala

[artificialqueens]

Taste of a Poison Paradise, Chapter 1 (Multi) - Joley

a/n: there were too many ships to fit into the title but the ones in this fic are crygi, lemyanka, sportsdoll, jaidie, and branjie/kamjie

Lemon let out a whiny groan as her alarm went off. Unlike the average alarm, hers was set to 6:30 at night, leaving her just enough time to get up and ready for her shift. She sat up and looked over, then gave Priyanka’s shoulder a light shove. “Rise and shine,” she mumbled as she got out of bed and grabbed the lingerie she’d laid out that morning and covered it with sweats and Priyanka’s flannel shirt.

“Every day I have to wake up and participate in society,” Priyanka lamented as she got out of bed. Her uniform consisted of a simple black t-shirt and jeans, making her routine much shorter than Lemon’s, who had to get all dolled up. “Gonna make coffee,” she decided, shuffling into the kitchen.

While Priyanka was making coffee, Jan came out of the other bedroom. “We carpooling tonight, Pri?” she asked, propping her elbows up on the counter and resting her chin on her hands.

“Yeah, if y’all aren’t planning on hanging out once the shift ends,” she answered, a slight stiffness in her tone. “Can’t stick around.”

Jan knew she needn’t say anything else. “Gotcha,” she nodded before grabbing her sweatshirt off the couch.

The three of them arrived at the club and clocked in on time, much like they always did. Priyanka went to get her station set up while Jan and Lemon joined the other girls in the dressing room to finish their makeup.

“Brooke Lynn told me she’s bringing in a friend of hers tonight,” Vanessa remarked as she swiped highlighter along her cheek. “Met at a convention or some shit in France and this is her welcoming celebration ‘cause she just moved out here.”

“Rich and French?” Jan’s brow quirked with interest and she strummed her fingers together, acting as if she were ‘scheming’. “Damn, I’m glad I just got my hair done.”

“But what if she tips you in euros?” Gigi chuckled.

“Actually,” Jaida chimed in, “the euro is worth like, twenty percent more than the dollar. So, it’d be a better gig if she did.” She tilted her head when the rest of the girls looked at her with either surprised or perplexed expressions. “What? I can know shit too.”

Jackie poked her head into the dressing room, then leaned against the doorframe. “I come in and you guys are talking about economics? I never cease to be amazed at this place. Anyway, just letting all of you know that the new security guard is starting tonight. I expect you all to be nice to her.”

“We’re always nice,” Jan cooed and batted her lashes. “Aren’t we, girls?”

“Speak for yourself, I’ve got an image to maintain,” Lemon retorted.

Just as Jackie was about to turn and leave, she heard footsteps and turned around. “Oh good, Kameron, you’re here. Come say hi to the girls,” she said, excitedly gesturing her over.

A muscled, tattooed blonde made her way over, stopping just a step into the dressing room. She seemed very aware of all the eyes on her, and perhaps a bit shy because of it. “Hey,” she greeted with an awkward wave.

Jackie went down the line introducing the girls. “This is Lemon, Jan, Gigi, Jaida, and Vanessa. Don’t worry, they don’t bite.”

“I make no promises,” Vanessa chimed in, twirling her hair around her finger as she looked Kameron over.

Jaida chuckled and tapped Vanessa’s thigh. “Down, girl. Sit. Stay.” Then she looked back up and warned Kameron, “Vanjie likes blondes.”

“Behave,” Jackie jokingly chastised, though she knew it would fall on deaf ears. “I’m gonna go get Kameron set up out front,” she said before the two of them left.

Once they’d left, Gigi leaned over to talk to Vanessa. “How’s your girlfriend gonna feel about you giving bedroom eyes to the new recruit, huh?”

“Relax, I just looked at her, not like I tried to eat her pussy or somethin’,” she retorted. “And you can’t say shit about girlfriends when your ass can’t even ask Crystal out on a date.” She got a chorus of ‘ooooh’ from the other girls at that and made Gigi turn red.

——

“Gigi, Jaida, and I are gonna hit up that new diner two blocks over after work, you in?” Crystal asked during a slow point in their shift.

Priyanka sighed and looked down at the empty glasses she was clearing off from the bar. “Can’t,” she mumbled, then reluctantly added, “I told Mark I’d pick him up from the airport.”

“I should’ve recognized that pain face,” she mused with a sympathetic nod. “Does your girlfriend know your boyfriend’s back in town?” she asked, cocking her head to the stage Lemon was dancing on.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Priyanka caught the defensiveness in her tone, so she tried to playfully follow it up with “she’s my mistress.”

Crystal chuckled, dividing her attention between her coworker and the customers that came up to the bar. “Whatever you gotta call it. At least he’s out of town like, what, forty weeks out of the year?”

“And yet it never feels like enough.”

The other bartender shook her head. “Remind me again why you’re still with him.”

“He’s… my safety blanket. No one asks me too many questions if they know I’m still with him. I can be normal and not have to worry about my family disowning me,” she explained.

“Oh, right, I forgot how far in the closet you are. Which is easy to do when you consider… every other aspect of your personality.” Crystal looked over and spotted Brooke Lynn approaching with a dark-haired woman at her side. “Who’s your friend, Brooke?”

“This is Nicky, she just moved here from Paris. Had to give her the proper welcome, you know?” Brooke explained. “I ran it by Jackie, gonna have her set up in the VIP room once she picks who she wants to-”

“Her.” Nicky had only turned away for a moment when her eyes locked on one of the dancers. “I have decided. I want that one.”

Brooke looked over, amused at the promptness in her decision. “Jan? Good choice. Crystal, set Nicky up with a cognac while I go let Jackie know to get her set up,” she explained as she got up. “If I don’t come back, assume Vanjie’s got me captive and don’t send for help.”

Priyanka watched as Brooke left. “God, that bitch has her whole life together and then some. Like, actual life goals, you know?”

“Priyanka also aspires to be a rich businesswoman that gets to rail a stripper on the regular,” Crystal explained to Nicky as she handed her the drink.

Nicky lifted her glass to her in approval. “Aim high, love,” she said and took a sip. “So, tell me about this girl I’ve picked, Jan, yes?”

“Oh, Jan’s great,” Crystal told her. “She’s a real sweetheart, you know? Like, the type to accidentally make customers fall in love with her because she just radiates that warm energy. Even had to ruin the illusion by outing herself a couple of times.”

“Yeah, but that was when that guy proposed to her, remember?” Priyanka chimed in. “Nice guy, stupid as all fuck.”

Nicky listened with amusement to the anecdotes the bartenders went on about until she spotted Jan coming her way, instantly tuning out everything around her to focus on the scantily clad woman.

Jan smiled and held her hand out. “Follow me, I’ll take you to the VIP room.”

“Then, by all means, lead the way,” she purred and followed her as they weaved through the club, to a room behind velvet ropes.

The room itself was designed to look even more expensive than it was with its red and gold color scheme and velvety fabrics. There was a plush couch, a table with champagne in an ice bucket, and a basket containing various sexual accessories – fuzzy handcuffs, lube, things of that nature. It was also perfectly spotless, which was easy to maintain with how rarely it was used. For the most part, it was up to the dancers to decide if they even wanted to confirm the existence of VIP rooms, let alone bring anyone into that space.

But Jan seemed thrilled to have Nicky in there with her. Especially since she knew she wouldn’t have to keep up her professional pretenses – Nicky came in with Brooke, after all. “So, I’m sure Brooke probably told you, but we make up whatever rules we want based on the client. But since this is your big American welcome present, I’m cool with following your lead.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Nicky cupped Jan’s face. “I don’t know if you want to give me that much power. There’s just far too much I’d like to do to you.”

Jan felt a chill go up her spine. The intensity of Nicky’s gaze paired with the coolness in her voice had her entranced on the spot. “Even better. Nothing’s sexier than a powerful woman.”

“As if I had any doubt on what a bottom you are,” she lightly teased as she sat down on the couch. She leaned back, admiring the beautiful woman she had all to herself. “Purple is your color,” she observed, admiring the way the violet lingerie fit her body, how it framed her perfectly while still begging to be ripped off.

“Why thank you, it’s my favorite,” Jan hummed, making her way over and straddling Nicky’s lap. She wasn’t used to having any sort of banter on the clock. Normally, a customer’s brain would short circuit as soon as they saw her tits, and that was how she liked it – the best man was a silent man as far as she was concerned.

But even Nicky seemed to have had enough with the talking, having moved on to kissing along Jan’s neck while her hands wandered her body. Eventually, she let them rest on Jan’s ass, which she groped and slapped while the two of them made out.

Jan let out a pleased sigh against Nicky’s lips. She rolled her hips slowly at first, arching towards Nicky’s touch and threading her fingers through her hair. “God, you’re fucking gorgeous,” she murmured as she undid her new client’s top.

“So are you, angel,” Nicky purred as she unhooked Jan’s bra and let it drop to the floor. She could tell she had caught Jan a bit off guard – normally the client would never undress the stripper. But it was clear Jan didn’t take issue, so she continued, kissing down her neck and chest, between her breasts, then teasingly swiping her tongue over both nipples. While she licked and sucked at her breasts, Nicky moved her hands back down, lightly snapping Jan’s panties against her and peeling them off once Jan lifted her hips up to let her.

It was so rare for Jan to be able to give up control at work. Her true submissive preferences were reserved exclusively for her personal life, lest anyone get the wrong idea. But Nicky had her under her thumb without even trying, and honestly, Jan found that even hotter. She wanted Nicky as badly as Nicky wanted her, and she didn’t make any attempt to hide it, going right to undressing Nicky once she was naked herself.

“So eager,” Nicky couldn’t help but call her out. “You must be so desperate to get fucked after teasing ugly men all night, hm?” She moved her hand between Jan’s thighs and traced her fingers along her slit. “You’re wet already, you little whore.” She then tapped her thigh lightly to redirect her. “On your knees,” she instructed, “you know what to do.”

Of course she did, Jan had just been eagerly awaiting her command. She got on her knees in front of Nicky, pulling her trousers and panties down to her ankles before situating herself between her thighs. She licked a stripe up her slit, then eased her tongue in, alternating between slow and fast, deep and shallow licks and thrusts.

Nicky tilted her head back and let out a deep moan. “Fuck, good girl,” she grunted. Her hand moved to the back of Jan’s head, holding her head in place with just a bit of firmness to keep her going.

Not that Jan would’ve stopped even if her life depended on it. Every time Nicky bucked her hips up or pushed down on her head, it turned her on and encouraged her all the more. Her hands gripped onto Nicky’s waist to hold her close and not let up until she was certain she had came, then pulled back with a bright, hopeful expression.

And Nicky knew exactly how to react, she could tell right away that Jan was the type that thrived on praise and positive reinforcement. “You did so well, babygirl,” she cooed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Get up and sit on my face, Mama’s gonna make you feel good.”

Jan nearly tripped over herself with how quickly she scrambled to her feet. She waited for Nicky to lay down on the couch before straddling her face and gripping the arm of the couch, then let out a breathy moan when she felt Nicky’s tongue inside her. “Fuck…”

Nicky held onto Jan’s ass as she thrust her tongue steadily. She smirked to herself when she heard how desperate and needy the younger woman’s moans were. This was not going to be their last encounter, that she was certain of, and by the time she had made Jan come, she was already thinking about the next time.

“Oh my fucking god,” Jan was still trembling when she got off of Nicky, sitting down to catch her breath. “Is that what French kissing really is?”

“I like to think so,” Nicky chuckled, sitting up and getting dressed. “Either way, that was just the welcome I had hoped for, and I will certainly be coming back for you. I’d take you home if I could.”

“Who’s to say you can’t?” Jan batted her lashes and twirled her hair around her finger.

——

“You know, with the way Nicky pounced on Jan, you might not be getting her back tonight,” Brooke warned. She was sitting in Jackie’s office with Vanessa sitting on her lap, though Vanessa had more or less checked out while Brooke and Jackie caught up.

Jackie laughed softly. “If I know Jan, and I tend to think I do, she won’t mind in the slightest,” she assured. “Though sometimes I worry you’re gonna keep bringing your friends in and pairing off all my girls.”

“What can I say? I’ve found my niche,” she hummed. “And it’s all good as long as you keep up those profit margins, right?”

“Oh god, are y’all just gonna talk business and shit all night?” Vanessa whined.

Brooke arched her brow at her girlfriend. “We’re not making you stay here, babe. You can go do a set or hang out in the dressing room,” she suggested. “You know, considering this is still your job,” she added.

“You can just get Kameron to babysit her,” Jackie remarked offhandedly, oblivious to the way Vanessa had suddenly tensed and sat upright or the way she was glaring a hole into her head.

And Brooke hadn’t picked up on it either, just coming off as confused. “Who’s Kameron? Another dancer?”

Vanessa had started to answer. “No, she ain’t nobody, she just-”

“She’s the new security guard,” Jackie explained. “I like her, she seems nice, really funny once she warms up to you, a little quiet otherwise.”

“Is she…you know…”

“Gay? Yeah, she a fitness dyke, I can tell,” Vanessa chimed in.

Jackie cleared her throat awkwardly. “I mean, I didn’t want to assume.”

Brooke arched her brow. “You, the woman who has managed to employ five lesbian strippers and two lesbian bartenders, didn’t want to assume? Like, you want us to believe that was purely coincidental and not your full intention?” While she had meant it lightheartedly, she noticed Jackie start to curl into herself. “Jackie… do you think we don’t know?”

Jackie swallowed thickly. “Vanjie, do you think you could give me a minute with Brooke?” she asked softly, then waited for Vanessa to leave before she redirected her attention to completely focus on Brooke. “I-I don’t know what you mean. What are you talking about?”

Brooke’s expression became more concerned. Her brows furrowed as she leaned closer and spoke in a hushed tone. “Do you… wait… are you not out?”

“Out of what?” she bristled, sitting upright and pointedly averting her gaze. “There’s nothing for me to be ‘out’ of. Because I’m not. I’m not.”

“Jackie…” she reached out and took her hand. She knew what a delicate subject this could be, but she also knew she would be remiss if she ignored it. “If there was ever a safe space…”

Jackie shook her head, suddenly getting up and pacing back and forth across the room. “You don’t understand. Firstly, my family, they… they just wouldn’t get it. They still think I own a restaurant.” She sighed heavily, finally stopping and leaning against her desk. “Besides, acknowledging my attraction to girls in a place like this… it’s just asking for trouble, you know? Priyanka is the only person that knows, and that’s just because she’s in the same boat.”

Brooke nodded as she listened. “But even still, Pri’s out to everyone here. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Pri’s out to everyone here so she can fuck Lemon in peace,” she retorted with a dry laugh. “I mean, it’s not like I haven’t thought about… like I wouldn’t…”

“You’re afraid of catching feelings for one of the girls.”

“No,” Jackie squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, everything she had spent so long burying was pushing through all at once. It made her feel dizzy and nauseous and faced with the realization that telling the truth was the only thing that could relieve that sense of unease. “I’m afraid I already have.”

[theloreofwhatilove]

She said the easter eggs 🐣 are lyrical 📝 instead of visual 👀 so here’s every parallel I could find so far 🔍

🍂 the 1

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit 🆚 I’m doing better than I ever was (ciwyw)

and if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow 🆚 if I bleed you’ll be the last to know (cruel summer) 🆚 you drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding (cardigan)

roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool 🆚 have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years? (lover) 🆚 I've been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night (daylight) 🆚 once in twenty lifetimes (cardigan) 🆚️ only twenty minutes to sleep (epiphany)

for never leaving well enough alone 🆚 I never leave well enough alone (me!)

and it's another day, waking up alone 🆚 and I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side (dress) 🆚 we both wake in lonely beds, different cities (sad beautiful tragic)

🍂 cardigan

when you are young, they assume you know nothing 🆚 when you’re young you just run (this love)

high heels on cobblestones 🆚️ I was walking home on broken cobblestones (betty)

a friend to all is a friend to none 🆚 all of my enemies started out friends (the archer)

your heartbeat on the High Line 🆚 my heartbeat skipping down 16th avenue (ithk)

you stepping on the last train 🆚 we wait for trains that just aren't coming (new romantics) 🆚 I stood right by the tracks (sad beautiful tragic) 🆚 the train runs off its tracks (sad beautiful tragic) 🆚 Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train (tlgad)

marked me like a bloodstain 🆚 made your mark on me (dress) 🆚 you’re still all over me like a whine stained dress (clean) 🆚 this love left a permanent mark (this love) 🆚️ and you can aim for my heart, go for blood (my tears ricochet) 🆚️ sir, I think hes bleeding out (epiphany)

and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite 🆚️ but I know I miss you, standing in your cardigan (betty)

leaving like a father, running like water 🆚 clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in (this love) 🆚 skies grew darker, currents swept you out again (this love)

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss 🆚 made your mark on me, a golden tattoo (dress)

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs 🆚 can't turn back now, I'm haunted (haunted) 🆚️ you know I didn't want to have to haunt you (my tears ricochet)

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time 🆚 it's 2am and I'm cursing your name (twily) 🆚️ cursing my name, wishing I'd stayed (my tears ricochet)

I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired 🆚 you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had (wonderland) 🆚 “what you've heard is true but I can't stop thinking about you” (style)

and you'd be standing in my front porch light 🆚 stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain, she’ll open up the door and say “are you insane?” (hygtg) 🆚 wishing you were at my door, I’d open up and you would say (enchanted) 🆚 this is the last time I let you in my door (the last time) 🆚 you find yourself at my door just like all those times before (the last time) 🆚️ and maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway (this is me trying) 🆚️ Betty, I'm here on your doorstep (betty)

and I knew you'd come back to me 🆚 this love came back to me (this love) 🆚 now you say you want it back, now that it's just too late (ayhtdws)

the smell of smoke would hang around this long 🆚️ clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke (daylight)

to kiss in cars and downtown bars 🆚️ remember when I pulled up and said "get in the car" (august) 🆚️ pulled the car off the road to the lookout (this is me trying) 🆚️ remember when you hit the brakes too soon? (ootw) 🆚️ all I know is that you drive us off the road (ayhtdws) 🆚️ "I rent a place on Cornelia Street" I say casually in the car (cornelia street) 🆚️ we were in the backseat drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar (cornelia street) 🆚️ I'm drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (cruel summer) 🆚️ she said "James, get in, let's drive" (betty) 🆚️ lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh, we can follow the sparks, I'll drive (ithk)

🍂 last great american dynasty

their parties were tasteful, if a little loud 🆚 it was so nice throwing big parties (tiwwchnt)

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen 🆚 in the end in wonderland we both went mad (wonderland) 🆚 it's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind (wonderland) 🆚️ and there's nothing like a mad woman, what a shame she went mad, no one likes a mad woman (mad woman) 🆚️ they'd paint me out to be bad so, it's okay that I'm mad (the man)

filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names 🆚 jump into the pool from the balcony, everyone swimming in a champagne sea (tiwwchnt) 🆚 in the winter, in the icy outdoor pool, when you jumped in first, I went in too (paper rings) 🆚️ roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool (the 1)

Holiday House sat quietly on that beach, free of women with madness, heir men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me 🆚 bad bad boy, shiny toy with a price, you know that I bought it (cruel summer)

I had a marvelous time ruining everything 🆚️ they say I did something bad but why's it feel so good? most fun I ever had and I'd do it over and over and over again if I could (idsb)

🍂 exile

you’re not my homeland anymore 🆚 our country guess it was a lawless land (dbatc)

you were my town 🆚 you’re the west village (false god)

now I’m in exile seeing you out 🆚 and I can still see you; this ain't the best view, on the outside, lookin' in (the outside) 🆚️ visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into (beautiful ghosts)

I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending 🆚 music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie, it's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see (breathe) 🆚 tried to change the ending (cardigan)

you were my crown 🆚 they took the crown (ciwyw)

I think I’ve seen this film before so I’m leaving out the side door 🆚 you gotta leave before you get left (idsb) 🆚 should’ve known I’d be the first to leave (getaway car)

we always walked a very thin line 🆚 you and I walk a fragile line (haunted) 🆚 lost your balance on a tight rope (innocent) 🆚️ I'm still on that tight rope (mirrorball)

there is no amount of crying I can do for you 🆚 you never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you (cold as you)

you didn’t even hear me out 🆚 could you just try to listen? (sad beautiful tragic) 🆚 I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing (clean)

🍂 my tears ricochet

and if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too 🆚️ and if I get burned, at least we were electrified (dress)

even on my worst day did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me? 🆚️ even in my worst times you could see the best of me (dress)

and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? 🆚️ if the story's over why am I still writing pages? (dbatc)

and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves 🆚️ loose lips sink ships all the damn time (ikp)

cause when I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave 🆚️ this ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight (afterglow) 🆚️ if you wanna fight, baby let's go (battle) 🆚️ now we're fighting dirty (battle) 🆚️ fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves (afterglow) 🆚️ combat, I'm ready for combat (the archer)

🍂 seven

I was too scared to jump in 🆚️ don't be afraid to jump then fall (jump then fall)

🍂 august

but I can see us lost in the memory 🆚️ hold on to the memories (new years day) 🆚️ I bet these memories follow you around (wildest dreams)

and I can see us twisted in bedsheets 🆚️ you see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night (wildest dreams) 🆚️ and I can still see it all in my mind, all of you, all of me, intertwined (daylight)

cancel plans just in case you'd call 🆚️ paper cut stings from our paper thin plans (dbatc) 🆚️ I never planned on you changing your mind (last kiss) 🆚️ my best laid plan (hoax) 🆚️ I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans (ithk)

cancel plans just in case you'd call and say "meet me behind the mall" 🆚️ phone lights up my nightstand in the black "come here, you can meet me in the back" (delicate)

🍂 this is me trying

they told me all of my cages were mental 🆚️ gold cage, hostage to my feelings (so it goes) 🆚️ put you in jail for something you didn't do (afterglow)

and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad 🆚️ I've been the archer, I've been the prey (the archer) 🆚️ they strike to kill and you know I will (mad woman)

and it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound 🆚️ what do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? (tmik) 🆚️ and it was like slow motion,standing there in my party dress, in red lipstick, with no one to impress (tmik) 🆚️ all of the moment I knew tbh

🍂 illicit affairs

tell yourself you can always stop what started in beautiful rooms 🆚️ visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into (beautiful ghosts)

a drug that only worked the first few hundred times 🆚️ my drug is my baby, I'll be using for the rest of my life (dont blame me) 🆚️ gave up on me like I was a bad drug (dbatc)

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me 🆚️ we made quite a mess babe (I almost do) 🆚️ I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you've made (ayhtdws) 🆚️ I'm a mess but I'm the mess that you wanted (dwoht)

and you know damn well for you I would ruin myself 🆚️ for you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face (dont blame me) 🆚️ nothing safe is worth the drive (treacherous)

you showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else 🆚️ the rest of the world was black and white, but was were in screaming color (ootw)

🍂 invisible string

cutting me open, then healing me fine 🆚️ paper cut stings from our paper thin plans (dbatc) 🆚️ so cut the headlights, summer's a knife, I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone (cruel summer) 🆚️ but I'll be alright it's just a thousand cuts (dbatc)

pulled me out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar 🆚️ dive bar on the east side, where you at? (delicate)

🍂 mad woman

do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? 🆚️ I see your face in my mind as I walk away (breathe)

no one likes a mad woman, you made her like that 🆚️ look what you made me do (lwymmd) 🆚️ dont blame me, love made me crazy (dont blame me)

and women like hunting witches, too 🆚️ theure burning all the witches even if you arent one (idsb)

does she smile? or does she mouth "fuck you forever"? 🆚️ but if I just showed up at your party would you have me? would you want me? would you tell me to go fuck myself (betty)

🍂 betty

you heard the rumors from Inez, you can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true 🆚️ the rumors are terrible and cruel, but honey, most of them are true (new romantics) 🆚️ ain't it funny, rumors fly, and I know you heard about me (blank space)

in the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? 🆚️ and I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate (cruel summer) 🆚️ I dont trust nobody, and nobody trusts me (lwymmd)

I don't know anything but I know I miss you 🆚️ I don't know how to be something you miss (last kiss)

just thinking of you when she pulled up 🆚️ he says, "what you've heard is true but I can't stop thinking about you" (style)

🍂 peace

the devil's in the details but you got a friend in me 🆚️ it's nice to have a friend (inthaf)

you paint dreamscapes on the wall 🆚️ you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray (cold as you)

I talk shit with my friends 🆚️ if a man talks ahit then I owe him nothing (idsb)

and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences 🆚️ lights flash and we'll run for the fences (ikp)

give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other 🆚️ you can hear it in the silence (you are in love)

but I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm 🆚️ he built a fire just to keep me warm (ciwyw)

all these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret 🆚️ I, I loved you in secret, first sight, yeah, we love without reason (dwoht)

🍂 hoax

my twisted knife 🆚️ I brought a knife to a gun fight (ciwyw)

your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in 🆚️ even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love (false god)

don't want no other shade of blue but you 🆚️ deep blue but you painted me golden (dwoht) 🆚️ it's blue, the feeling I've got (cruel summer) 🆚️ I'm with you even if it makes me blue (paper rings) 🆚️ my hearts been borrowed and yours has been blue (lover) 🆚️ we're so sad we paint the town blue (ma&thp) 🆚️ I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue (afterglow)

you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for 🆚️ you know the greatest films of all time were never made (the 1) 🆚️ all of my heroes died all alone (the archer)

you knew it still hurts underneath my scars 🆚️ with every guitar string scar on my hand (lover) 🆚️ you drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding (cardigan)

you knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? 🆚️ but now we've stepped into a cruel world where everybody stands and keeps score (eyes open)

my only one, my kingdom come undone 🆚️ I dont like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me (lwymmd)

[cait-with-luv]

J.JK Soul Ink - Chapter 11

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¬ Sucker For Pain - Imagine Dragons, X Ambassadors, Lil Wayne, Logic, Wiz Kalifa, Ty Dolla $ign

"I haven't seen her for months Lay, I'm telling you the truth! If I had seen her why would I hide it from her best friend?! Let me fucking go! What's wrong with you?!"

"See Baekhyun, my old friend, I know you're lying. I had people there watching, they saw you two talking."

Baekhyun glared at Lay who was circling like he was some kind of pray, as he tried to break free from the ropes tied around his wrists and ankles that shackled him to the chair and he chuckled coldly,

"Just because I got caught talking to her doesn't mean I'm gonna rat her out she is clearly staying away from you for a reason and now I can see why. Besides, if I knew where she was anyway I wouldn't tell you, I'm not a traitor unlike you." Baekhyun spits earning himself a pistol whip around the face.

Baekhyun's face whips to the side and his face scrunches up in pain before spitting out the blood that had filled his mouth at Lay's feet.

"Damn did I hit a nerve Lay?" Baekhyun chuckles feeling no fear. Lay chuckles coldly and grabs Baekhyun's hair tightly in a fist and Baekhyun winces before laughing,

"Didn't know you were into that kinda stuff,"

Lay growls angrily at Baekhyun who was very clearly unfazed by the life threatening situation he was in. It was clear he wasn't gonna break.

"You really risking your life for your former fuck buddy? Is it really worth it?" Lay scoffs

"Y/N may of been my fuck buddy when we were teenagers but that girl is like family, you better believe she's worth every single ounce pain I take. I won't let you get to her, so if you think you're gonna get anything out of me about last night you might as well kill me now because I'm not saying jack shit." Baekhyun spits out.

Lay lets go of Baekhyun's hair and throws a punch to his stomach making Baekhyun gasp and cough and Lay laughs,

"Not so big now are you? You'll break eventually, they always do. Why don't you tell me what she spoke to you about or why she was? This could all end right now Baekhyun."

"End right now? If I were to break I'd get a bullet to the head anyway. I'm just a dead man talking at this point. I'm not telling you nothing because I don't know nothing even if I did you can go fuck yourself. So go ahead put a bullet in my head. You'd be doing us both a favor." Baekhyun taunts. Lay punches him in the face and before Baekhyun could recover, he threw another.

Baekhyun groans in pain and feels blood begin to trickle from his nose. He throws his head back lets out a laugh, amused that he was getting under his skin.

"Boss, he's no help to us, he's clearly not breaking, just get rid of him and try the girl," One of the guards say placing a hand on Lay's shoulder. Lay nods and looks back at Baekhyun who now began to struggle more at his restraints at the mention of a girl he very clearly knows.

"Lay you fucking touch Irene or even fucking go near her, Y/N will never forgive you, she'll kill you."

"No harm will be caused towards Irene, but I'm feeling considerate so I'm letting you go alive." Lay smirks.

"There's always a catch though, you're gonna say something like if I catch you around her your gonna be back in this seat right?" Baekhyun teases making Lay laugh.

"Hit the nail on the head." Lay smirks and looks at his workers and nods his head to Baekhyun,

"Get him out of here."

-----

You let out a groan as your phone begins to ring, you snuggle into the warmth of a bare chest and try to ignore the phone and then you freeze. A bare chest? You sit up quickly and hold in a scream when you see Jungkook lying on his back, mouth slightly ajar whilst he slept.

Why was he here?!

You push your questions aside and silently try to slip out of his hold but his grip tightens on your hip and he lets out a whine and you hold in a gasp. The phone stops ringing and you sigh and look at the clock.

6 am

The phone rings again and this time Jungkook begins to stir and you hold your breath as he removes his hand from your hip and turns so he was lying on his stomach, tucking his hands under the pillow where his head rest. You quickly turn to the bed side and pick up your phone and check who was calling you and you frown,

Baekhyun

He never phones you unless he needs you down at the garage, needs you to race or...if he's in trouble. You immediately pick up and the call and whisper,

"Hello?"

All you heard was heavy breathing and your heartbeat began to rise and you sat on the edge of your bed nervously.

"Baekhyun? Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Y/N? Please tell me you're somewhere safe?"

You frown at the urgency in his voice and begin to panic.

"Y-Yeah, I'm hiding out at-"

"No no no don't tell me, do not tell me where you are, Lay is on to you okay? He had people watching us talk last night, if you tell me he's gonna come back for me, he's got people watching me now, he tried to get me to rat you out I told him nothing don't worry, just pissed him off, I'm gonna be okay but just stay low okay? He's determined to rip this whole city apart to find you okay? He's going after Irene next Y/N he said he won't hurt her but after what he's done to me I don't trust him, he's gonna hurt her Y/N. I'm on my way to hers right now, I'm gonna take her somewhere safe."

Your eyes widen and your breath hitches. Your best friends were in trouble all because you were caught talking to them.

"Get out of the city Baekhyun, take Irene with you and stay out of town until it all blows over, we're gonna get rid of him okay? Just take Irene and get out of here do you here me? I'll phone you when it's safe. Baekhyun I'm so sorry." You cry out.

"Y/N it's okay, what are friends for? I'd do anything to keep you safe. Consider this me paying you back for all the times you've saved my ass, it's my turn now. I've got things packed for me, I'll get Irene to pack and we'll be out of here okay? We've got your back."

"Okay."

You whisper out. You flinch as you feel a hand touch your shoulder gently. You turn to see Jungkook sat up frowning tiredly and you quickly finish up your conversation,

"Be safe okay Baekhyun? The both of you."

"Always, stay safe too okay? I don't know what's going on but you can explain the story once its safe okay? I love you chick."

"I will, I love you too fluff ball."

"Leave my hair alone bitch."

You let out a small laugh and whisper a bye and hang up and place the phone back on the dresser and turn to face a concerned Jungkook.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, his voice deep and raspy from not long waking up. You shiver slightly and nod stiffly and explain to him what had happened and he continues to frown as you explain.

"Sorry that I woke up." You mumble out and he chuckles,

"Don't worry about it, I was stirring anyway."

"U-Um Jungkook, why are you in my bed? I remember you bringing me back after my panic attack b-but nothing after that..." You trail off and Jungkook's face softens,

" You had a nightmare, well more of a memory and you screamed and scared us all. I sat with you but you wouldn't let me go so I stayed."

"O-Oh." You stutter out and he chuckles and climbs out of the bed and your breath hitches as you realize he was shirtless. You stare in awe at the art decorating his skin and how well built he was. It was very clear he was a gym freak. Your eyes stop on one piece of art decorating his side and you suddenly understand why he was so sensitive to the tattoo you got...

"Like what you see?" Jungkook smirks noticing your stare. You scoff and cross your arms

"You wish Jeon."

You stand up and walk so you stood in front of him and stared intently at the tattoo before gently tracing over it subconsciously making his breath hitch and he shivers at your touch. It was a dragon similar to yours but made to fit a males body, instead of it being wrapped around blossoms, it was wrapped around roses and had what looked like a crescent moon behind it, it looked dominant unlike yours which looked fierce. You look down to your tattoo before looking up to see him already looking down at you, his pupils dilated and his cheeks were red. You snap back into realization, you pull your hand away quickly as if he was lava but he quickly grabs your wrist and you gasp at the sudden movement. You stare at him intently as he moves your hand up to his shoulder and you keep it there as he lets go.

You squeal and wrap both arms around his neck as he places a hand under your thigh and brings it up to rest on his hip and you gasp at the sudden closeness. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

"Look down," He mumbles resting his forehead against yours closing his eyes. Your breath hitches and you slowly look down as Jungkook begins to trace your tattoo like you did to his and you shiver at the tickling feeling. You gasp at how they matched up together. The dragons noses touching as if they were in love and mated. Now you understood why he was so angry.

"You see why I'm so pissed about you getting that tattoo? It was made for the person I fell in love with." Jungkook mumbles staring at you intensely. You nod gulping. Your heart clenches at his comment about it being made for the woman he was gonna fall in love with, jealously sinking in and it made you realize,

You like him. No, love him, and you didn't know what to do.

You stare at him and whisper out,

"I'm sorry that I was the one who found it."

He shakes his head and chuckles letting your leg go and moves his hand to caress your cheek making your eyes flutter shut at the comfort you got.

"You didn't know babygirl, and besides, I wouldn't want any other person finding it." He whispers brushing some hair out your face and curled it behind your ear.

"Again with the nickname." You tease making him chuckle

Was that an indirect confession? You thought to yourself.

"Maybe it was..." He says lowly. Your heart speeds up as you realize you spoke out loud and your eyes jolt open as you feel his warm lips on your forehead. He opens his eyes and stares at you before his eyes flicker to your lips. He begins to move closer and both of you begin to close your eyes, anticipating to feel each others lips against each others. Excitement began to bubble in the pit of your stomach.  You were nearly there until-

"Oh my god just fucking kiss each other and then have sex this is so painful to watch!"

You both open your eyes quickly and pull out of each others hold and turn to face the intruder,

"Seokjin!"

"Jin hyung!"

You both screamed at the same time making him cackle and lean against the door frame crossing his arms smirking.

"What? Just giving you kids a word of advice, don't stop on my account, just here to tell you brats breakfast is ready, we're all downstairs waiting for you both." Jin says casually pushing himself of the door frame and runs off before Jungkook could find something to throw at him.

You stare at each other awkwardly and Jungkook rubs the back of his neck nervously and chuckles.

"I-I'm gonna go get dressed and go downstairs." He says quickly rushing out the room, closing the door behind him before you could say anything. You place a hand on your heart as you feel it race and you take in a deep breath and begin to get yourself ready.

You shyly walk downstairs and walk into the kitchen where all the boys but Jungkook were sat conversing. They looked up and gave you a small smile but Jimin doesn't even look up at you and you frown but brush it off.

You sit down in between Taehyung and Hoseok and they smirk at you,

"So Y/N, we've heard you've had an eventful morning with our Jungkookie huh?" Taehyung teases nudging you and you glare at him your cheeks turning red in embarrassment, making them all laugh. Jimin stays quiet and you put it of as he's still tired or not in a great mood.

"Shut up, nothing happened." You say biting into a piece of toast.

"That's not what Jin hyung said Shortcake." Hoseok chuckles making you groan and hit your head against the counter making him laugh obnoxiously.

"You're just jealous she picked the better looking one." A voice says.

You look up to see that Jungkook was now in the kitchen and was pouring himself a glass of orange juice.  

"I beg to fucking differ Jeon Jungkook, you seen this face? Pure beauty right Y/N?" Jin scoffs looking at you innocently. You let out a laugh and nod,

"Oh of course Jin, no one could beat you in the looks department." You joke making him smile in achievement.

The boys all burst into an argument about looks and personality and you sat watching in amusement.

"It doesn't matter about looks, it's the personality that matters."

"No no no you've got it all wrong."

"Why does it matter anyway?"

"I don't see her wanting to scream your name Taehyung."

Your breath hitches as Jimin slammed his hands on the table and everyone goes silent.

"Jungkook would you stop being an arrogant dick?" Jimin growls and everyones eyes widen. Jungkook frowns and mumbles an apology.

"You're not sorry though are you? I know I said I'm okay with you dating her but that doesn't mean you can try and jump her bones straight away." Jimin continues now standing up.

"Jimin hyung, I was joking, nothing happened anyway, I am sorry." Jungkook says warily.

You frown at his protectiveness over you despite only knowing each other for 48 hours.

"Something would of though if Jin hyung didn't walk in right? Were you gonna just fuck and ditch her like some kind of object like you've in the past? I won't let you do that to her Jungkook. That's my little fucking sister," Jimin spits standing right in front of Jungkook. Despite the height difference it was very clear Jungkook was nervous. You gasp and look around the room noticing Namjoon and Jin were slowly walking towards them to pull them away from each other

"I'm not like that anymore you know that, I was a stupid teenager, I wouldn't do that to her Jimin hyung! I care for her! I just don't know how to express it okay?!" Jungkook yells back. Namjoon pulls Jimin away mumbling something to his ear and Jimin's eyes widen as he looks over to you and Jin pushes Jungkook out the room scolding him and telling him to go cool down.

You breath hitches and your brain began to hurt from the two sudden confessions and you hold your head as it hurts, you stand up suddenly letting your seat screech.

"Y/N you need to calm down..." You hear Hoseok says holding your wrist gently. Memories begin  to flash through your eyes and you squeeze them shut and groan as you try to push them out.

"Butterfly...Listen to my voice, relax okay?" You hear Jimin say softly gathering you into his arms rocking you both side to side.

"Y/N you need to let those memories in okay? You're going to hurt more if you don't." Namjoon coaxes you. You take in a deep breath and let yourself relax as you allow the memories in and you hear a familiar voice in a memory,

"I love you Butterfly..."

"I love you too Mochi..."

You gasp and open your eyes looking up to the boy holding you in his arms.

"I have a brother? Mochi?" You say placing a hand on Jimin's cheek as he teared up nodding, leaning into your touch.

"Yeah Butterfly, it's Mochi, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

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