#its getting to depressing lmao
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Hackers stole 65M passwords from Tumblr in 2013.
Text
hate when ppl only view being autistic/adhd/neurodivergent as a bad thing
bc yes i will have a breakdown if it is to loud or a noise is to high
but also the other day i listened to a song and it triggered the happy chemicals and spent thirty minutes jumping around my room and spinning and stimming and it was literally the happiest ive ever been in years
#fairly certain this was a result of my audhd#geniunely the happiest ive been it at least 3 years#think my depressions starting to actually get better#should start demasking more#its to bad my mask is deeply ingrained in my identity lmao#autism#audhd#neurodivergent#adhd#actually autistic#actually adhd
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
crusty evolution redraw. in theory.
#xmen#xmen evolution#erik lehnsherr#magneto#quicksilver#pietro maximoff#snap sketches#i stopped liking this past the lineart stage but i told myself id try to finish whatever i start to at least try and learn somethin#did i learn anything ? thats for me to reflect on. for now tho ramble time 😌#its painful to draw erik with short hair but sometimes you gotta get outta the usual !! <- never doing this again#ive been ahead of my schedule with stuff i have to draw so ive simply decided todaay will be My Day for personal doodles#idk why ive decided my first evo fanart should be the one where erik and pietro leave behind wanda but ok !!!!! freak#i have a long hair ver but i didnt color it. i was just greedy .. not greedy enough tho evidently#anyways i have like. idk what four episodes of evolution left ?? depressing this show's great ...#i didnt nkow theyd have a david ep ... a pleasant surprise but now im emo ...#OH WELL lets see what else i doodle tonight#this week's going to be annoying but i think i say that every week LMAO and look at that i get through them anyway#we'll be fine and chill team .. ok bye bye
462 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbh my latest biggest theory for why HoO and onwards is such a dramatic drop in quality and consistency is just. Rick stopped making teaching guides.
Like, the Lightning Thief teacher's guide is SUPER in-depth with even stuff like sources about middle grade child psychology and exact specifications of where he's applying that, explaining what different character's goals/motivations are, their dynamics with each other and their environments, etc etc. Even specifying which specific myths certain plot elements are supposed to reference or be about.
That stuff just doesn't exist for later books. There's activity guides and smaller, significantly more simple teacher guides for later books but they don't go into anywhere NEAR the same level of depth. The TLT one is a full lesson plan that breaks down the book at every level and explains what's going on and more or less why Rick did that. The others are all basically just glossaries of terminology and some simple question guides.
And they didn't even use the TLT teacher's guide for the Disney+ show because they clearly aren't adhering to any of what's discussed in that breakdown of the book.
By creating a teaching guide alongside writing the actual book, that's forcing you to document what you're doing, why, your sources, and information about your characters and the story they're in. It's like an even more in-depth version of a series bible. But that's lacking for later books (and etc) and it shows because that level of thought and depth and attention just isn't there anymore.
#pjo#riordanverse#rick riordan#rr crit#< i suppose#imo one of the most damning parts of the drop of quality in the later books is you can tell exactly what parts of what books#Rick had planned in advance and which are just filler to get from point a to point b#because characters will jump in and out of consistent behaviors - particularly in HoO - and those lapses where they act weird#are almost always super disconnected from the rest of the plot or storyline or whatever arc that character is on#or are just so clearly sped through because they aren't important#Leo is a great character imo to look at to figure out if it's a filler scene or not lmao#if he's clearly masking being somber by putting on a silly act but dropping it quickly or otherwise largely acting serious/somber#then it's probably a more considered scene and actually paying attention to his overall character arc#or just remembering how the characters are supposed to act (in Leo's case - quiet/thoughtful/somber but masking it with humor/etc)#if he's 100% silly goofy depression arc nowhere in sight then its probably mostly a filler scene or at least his part in it is filler#anyways i highly recommend reading the tlt teaching guide its really interesting actually
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
loving hoshina soshiro means being content of being his mistress because he's married to his blades and his first love will always be his anti-kaiju duties. he could love you to hell and back but in the end you won't be able to compete against his responsibility to serve as vice-captain of the third division. it's not that his affection for you is lacking, but it will never be enough to put you on top of his priorities.
the fic is here.
#AND WHAT IF I STAB MYSELF#HOSHINA GIVE ME ONCE CHANCE#sorry guys for all this#its the depression talking lmao#once i get back maybe i can write some cute fluff but not tonight unfortunately#hoshina#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro hoshina#hoshina soshiro#soshiro hoshina x reader
109 notes
·
View notes
Note
It fills me with joy that you still make art. So many artists i have liked over the years have dropped out for one reason or another and aaaa. I’m just happy you are still here being you.
I try my best! I havent been consistent on here and a lot has happened but I am still around i suppose
#asks#WHY IS THIS ONE VAUGHLY THE SAME AS THE LAST ASK I GOT????#but this one is more depressing lmao#One thing u guys should know about me is that I get really sad thinking about the past and seein gfamiliar usernames makes me feel good#but yes oh gosh it bothers me so much when I see deactivated accounts RAAAA#I don't know how I was able to stomach being here when its a fandom and people are always always allowed to come and go#but omg it depresses me bad erm okay enough about me heheh hope you guys are doing great >:))
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
i thiiink hes soooo prettyabyway
#my art#digital art#digital painting#doodle#fanart#ethan winters#this!! is just a quick thing#for funsies!! cause im always thinkin hes pretty. i cant do him justice.#ive been insanely depressed! genuinely like. thinkin im gonna die lmao. i have barely had the energy to draw him. thats how you know its ba#i need to brush my teeth so so soo bad. but ive been so terrible to my mouth i just know i have gingivitis or something. MY GUMS ARE GONNA#HURT!! and my mouth is gonna taste like MINT and i wont be able to eat anymore and what if i get hungry!!#i wont be able to eat because my mouth will taste so strongly of mint#i need flavorless toothpaste#this took me 5 hours btw. i redrew it 4 times. any time you see anything with colors please assume it was drawn at least 3 times before#i finished and posted it. i do NOT like colors but what do i do i am always throwin some stupid colors in there just for the misery of it#i cant stand colors what am i even lookin at i cant even see im colorblind.#anyways this took 5 hours but technically it only took like. 1.5 hours. so its just a quick thang okay dw about it#anyways thats the post. ethan winters is a tamagochi to me
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just saved a note to myself in my drafts so here's ANOTHER note to myself:
JAMIE YOUR DRAFTS!! YOUR DRAFTS JAMIE!!
#for context i get REALLY bad anxious and depressed during my period#and since i can tell its coming this time#( usually i am already too deep in the trenches to realize until it is too late)#im leaving post it notes for future me#so his dumb ass doesnt start havin his dark thoughts#anyway i will likely be excrutiatinglt mentally ill next week so sorry in advance lmao#this is not a vent btw#and pls do not be concerned i litetally be going tjrouhh this once a month
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
i realized they had the same birthday (dec 21st) so i was like "yoooo i should draw them together"
silly bonus:
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#utau#utauloid fanart#utau fanart#根音ネネ#nene nene#nene nene utau#oliver vocaloid#oliver vocatone#oliver maghni ai#i guess??? because that's his maghni ai design? chose it for fun and for color/composition purposes ig (slightly more yellow? and details)#don't know how to tag this... and since yuki only appears in the bonus doodle idk if i should really tag her#i don't actually know if oliver would be scared of nene or not aksjhgk that little guy doesnt seem scared by most things#but i just thought it would make for a funny side doodle so thats why its there lol#potential successor to the kagamines/iku doodle? in a way maybe... i should find more vsynths that share bdays and draw them together#fun fun fun... ofc its not the exact same day and year like tho iku and the kagamines tho (which is crazy); nene came out in 2009#but ya. showing penance in some way because i was too depressed to draw anything for oliver's bday last year lmao 😭 im sorry my boy#i mean i did do that shitty short meme video which i almost completely forgot abt but that doesnt counttt im talking art piece#this piece was gonna look way more different originally but i couldn't get it to look right so i went for something simpler#cause i was running out of time... and also experimented a little since this one's weird in that i did the colors first rather than lines#then did lines based on the colors and cleaned up the coloring after. and i was gonna add some more stuff to bg but got tired rip#so yeah maybe its a bit simple for my liking but im too tired to redo this again. i had to resize it bc i accidentally made og file huge#and it just wouldnt upload to tumblr lmaoo so apologies if the quality got crunched#IVE BEEN WAITING ALL FUCKING DAY TO POST THIS AND THE OTHER SHIT HAHAHAHEH... i couldve scheduled them but NOOo... oliver day
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
30
30. whats something youre proud of about your artstyle?
I guess I'm proud that people can recognise it as my artstyle means I don't have to worry so much when I forget my signature (I forget my signature alot)
#ask#anon#i know its not the most unique style#i actually dont even know what makes my art style mine lmao#and if i think about it too hard#i start getting depressed at everything i need to improve on#next ASK
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Confession #440
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAwyWkksXuo
#rwby#philosophicalpug#feeling like that yes honey meme#weiss schnee#nsfw-ish#cbat#yknow I used to think about that song everytime I felt too depressed#its so dumb it helped me to get rid off bad thoughts lmao
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
do people know that shadow was like. intentionally trying to commit murder suicide. or is that less obvious if you’re not a sa2head (where he absolutely 100% suicidal)
#like. I’ve seen people talk about it like shadow Didn’t Know and. guys he knew lmao. he was very much attempting suicide#like is it less obvious in the movie and I’m just biased bc I’ve played 400 hours of sa2#like. shadow is DEEPLY suicidal and he still is AFTER sa2 he very blatantly suffers from depression and ptsd#there is an entire ass song that’s literally just about his ptsd and how it copes. it’s awesome crush 40 killed it btw.#sonic 3 spoilers#< I GUESS#its literally just from sa2. and like. a core part of shadow the hedgehog as a character#like him having severe ptsd and suicidal ideation is Why he’s like that. i presume everyone who likes shadow KNOWS this#glad they showed it tho. sonic adventure 2 gets wild so I knew some parts would have to be changed#ESPECIALLY after 9/11 like you can TELL it’s a game that came out a few months before#bc Significantly More Mature games were forced to cut shit SA2 fucking revels in#which makes me hopeful they’ll do [REDACTED] having like the entire fucking dsm5 and not butcher it
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about shinichi actually confessing and getting together with ran despite being a whole ass child like that's so embarrassing for kaito, my dude you need to step tf up, a whole child somehow got to start dating before you 😭
#lets not think about how fcked up it is that shinichi is dating ran while he's still conan lol#let's focus on a shinichi in a wholeass child form was able to get together with ran vs kaito with nothing like thats so depressing 😭😭😭#but kat its all goshos fault theres no progress at all cause of mk hiatus#girl i know!!!! everything is gosho's fault lmao!!!!#i just think it's funny how a whole child is dating while kaito is like 💀💀💀💀 lmaooo this poor man let him have his happy ending too#LMAO#dc prattles
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
188 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of the craziest bat bars like actually
#vee queued to fill the void#WHEN GOTH AND PUNK COLLIDE ITS THE HYPEST DEPRESSION LETS GOOOOOO LMAO#i never talk about kuukou and jyushi’s bond as leader/2gumi since i personally don’t think i need to lol#but the way their ideals just click together so naturally is so satisfying when the story bothers to show it lol#like i am prAyINg that we get kuukou and jyushi clashing over it like they’re both right but kuukou is still wrong lmao#like besides kuukou training jyushi in their debut track kuukou and jyushi haven’t fought yet#as of then that was indicative of their dynamic kuukou is more gentle with jyushi and more firm with hitoya#now tho there’s like………. bits in various places where they’re challenging each other#like when they were competing against each other at video games or jyushi standing his ground against kuukou’s chaos lol#i’m hopeful it’s leading to a confrontation between them fr on god no cap pls it’d be lit lmao#kuukou has won in their little matches i need jyushi to be the pupil that fulfills his wish#and gets to stand next to the man that helped and supported him lol he’s on equal footing with hitoya let’s fully lock in with kuukou#(a fun ichiro and jyushi parallel btw lol like samatoki was that figure that helped and supported him and he wanted to be his equal)#(both kuukou and hitoya are jyushi’s samatoki tho a bit more obscure on kuukou’s end)
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
You reblogged the post about how people identify your art, and I have no idea how to explain it, but how you draw eyes is definitely a factor. Otherwise it’s the style, and recently the vent art you’ve been making has so much emotion in it, I’m actually really jealous of your capabilities, even if you’re going through a rough patch right now. I hope it gets better 🤞
aaa thank you <3
i was definately one of those kids that drew eyes on all my school work and notes lol. i defiantely have a very specific way i like doing it and im glad its noticable!!
it may be selfish, but im glad my vent art is seen and appreciated. its incredibly validating to know i can get emotions across in art, and also im not just some weird anomoly for being so upset all the time
#rambles#art trademark#once i can make an animatic without burning out its over for all of you /lh#after a depressive episode it was good to get that gif made#i say after as if im out of it lkjfalsjdkf- after the bulk of the numbness passed#i have so much i wanna draw but my energy levels are still through the floor lmao
9 notes
·
View notes