#its for the plot i promise (only half joking)

[bluegiragi]

hoard - part 2 (full comic on patreon)

[dayurno]

[lilac-5ky]

Holed Up (Husband!Toji x Fem!Reader)

mini kinktober tribute: stuck in a wall/hole

plot: you should've known that asking Toji to help you out of a hole would lead him inside another—or that time you got stuck in the dog house and he bailed on you for KFC.

tags: MDNI, stuck in a wall/hole, pet play (kinda), breeding, doggy style, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), spanking, pet names (bitch, baby), established relationship, crack plot, unsolicited kfc orders, i promise toji loves reader, he's just joking guys.

wc: 2.2k

Masterlist | Kinktober Masterlist | AO3

“Whatcha doing?”

Sarcasm rolls from your husband’s tongue as he stares down at you. Back arched, knees bent, and head encased by wooden planks. Not the most flattering position to be found in, especially with how the light autumn breeze blows at your dress and parts its layers, opening a window to the pink panties of your choice.

His question feels excessive. He knows exactly what you are doing. It was only this morning that you asked him to dig poor ol’ Mister Stinky’s remains from the dog house and he claimed he’d rather buy his son a replacement. No arguing there, but should Megumi see what became of his favored stuffed animal—fuzzy entrails gutted out of the frog’s shredded belly in a path initiating from his bedroom—he’ll be having nightmares for weeks to come.

Besides, you doubt synthetic is the kind of fiber your vet prescribed for your puppy's diet.

“What you should’ve done instead.” You finally spit out, contempt over what Toji’s long fingers could’ve accomplished without him needing to stick half his body into a hole like your, admittedly, dumbass self did.

“For thirty minutes straight? Damn, seems I overestimated ya.”

Even though your view of him is limited to a pair of overworn black slippers, you can vividly picture his scarred lips pulling over his teeth in another of his complacent smirks that scream I told you so.

“Don’t have anything better to do than time me?”

“Nah,” Toji drawls. “Grew tired of waiting on ya, so I thought I’d come see how it’s going.”

“It’s going great!” You lie through your teeth. Anyone with a functioning pair of eyes could see how non-great this is going. “Anything else you need?”

“Well it is noon.” He points out.

“And?”

“And my darling wife’s out ‘ere, rolling in the mud when she should be having lunch with me.”

A snort flares in your nostrils. He is unbelievable.

“What a cute way of letting me know you’re hungry, Toji. You know, if you’d actually helped, I would’ve had the time to set the table and give Mister Stinky a proper burial, but I can’t do both at the same time, can I?”

“Mhm, so how ‘bout we help each other?” He suggests, undeterred. “I get your ass out, and you cook us somethin’ tasty real quick.”

“Wh-who said I was stuck? I can get out whenever I want.”

“Really, huh? What keeps ya from getting out this instant, then?”

“I don’t want to.” You answer wryly. “I like it here. It’s quiet, and I could use some time for myself.”

“In the dog house.” His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth. He’s not buying an ounce of what you’re selling. “C’mon, don’t be stubborn. You’ll end up reeking of dung if ya stay here a minute longer. Lemme give ya a hand.”

You know that accepting his help comes at the exorbitant price of utter humiliation, but he’s got a point. Last night’s downpour emanates strongly from the saturated wood, a dizzying smell that turns overwhelming when combined with the strong odor of what you sincerely hope is not piss. Your knees are on the verge of collapsing, and there’s more dirt in your nails than if you dug a grave barehanded. Right now, a day in the bathtub seems like a panacea for your every issue.

Almost.

Kissing your teeth, you resign with a long-drawn sigh that’s barely audible over the rumble in your stomach. You shouldn’t have skipped breakfast.

A moment passes before you hear the crunch of leaves as they rustle beneath his feet; see a second pair of knees take place between your own. Then it’s two hands gripping at your hips, and eventually, a face—your husband’s handsome face that beams with a smug smile and eyes of mischief.

“Lookin’ good, sweetheart.” He greets, though you doubt he sees your face with all the hair that’s curtaining over your eyes while you hang upside down.

“What are you doing, Toji?” You recycle his question in an aggravated tone that fizzles out the second you feel his thumb press against your panties and tug the fabric to the side.

“Nothin’. Just curbing my hunger.” His finger teasingly glides across your nether lips and lands at your clit, while a palm large enough to envelope both your ass and cunt kneads at the tender flesh he’s offered. “Fridge’s empty, so.”

“This isn’t funny!”

“‘m not laughing, but c’mon. You hafta admit it’s pretty damn funny.” Warm air wafts from Toji’s mouth as he inches closer to your thighs. “Y’always whine when I fuck you from behind, but now? Look at you. Bent on all four like a real bitch.”

“T-Toji!”

Your breath hitches in your throat as he slides two fingers in your hole, languidly scissoring them in and out until there’s enough slick to lather your clit with. He circles around the nub while his fingers prod deeper inside, the icy touch of his wedding band clashing with the heat that sparks through your body when he bottoms out. A smothered moan gains echo as it bounces off the walls and into his ears.

“Such a well-trained pup,” Toji praises, retrieving his palm to lick his fingers. “Might win yourself a collar at this rate.”

You bite back your tongue before it can react to his backhanded comment, reminding yourself that you’re still outside, right where your neighbors can peek over the white picket fence for a quick hello and catch you slutting yourself out on your husband’s fingers.

“Can’t we continue this inside? Mrs. Honda is right next door, and M-Megumi—” You stutter when his palm returns to your body, its twin joining in spreading your cheeks further apart.

“Kid’s at school for another hour,” Toji mumbles, his hot tongue parting your folds with a long stroke that has your knees buckling. “So fuckin’ good,” he groans, his nose buried between your two holes while he lazily laps at your juices. “That sweet cunt is the reason why I married ya.”

You keen to his touch, hips bucking into his mouth, and walls clenching for more. “Only reason?”

“Nah. Consider that tight little ass as the second.”

His fingers burrow into the supple skin to squeeze at it, only lifting to deliver playful smacks that cause your ass to jiggle against his face. He growls into your pussy, mouthing all sorts of filth that gets drowned by your moans. It feels so good when he eats you out—it always does—but the probability of being caught in such a compromising position adds to the excitement.

The hand that’s trapped with you inside your pet’s house scratches at the wood, while the other rakes at the soil for grounding. Your orgasm creeps up on you, turning your vision blurry and tinting the darkness of space with colored specks. You are so close; all he needs to do is keep swirling at your clit, swallowing the entire bundle of nerves in his mouth, and sucking hard until—

“Ah, right.” He stops, words slurring from the threads of saliva that link his mouth with your cunt. “You said ya wanted time with yourself.”

Anger washes over you in place of the orgasm you were robbed of, the pleasurable fireworks traded for the obnoxious red alarm that goes off in your brain. “Toji, I swear to God, if you don’t fuck me right fucking now, the only lunch you’ll be seeing is KFC buckets for the rest of your life!”

A low chuckle falls flat from his lips. “Three. I love that snappy mouth ‘f yours.”

In an attempt to meet his eyes, you duck between your legs. Your hair mops the floor as you watch him pull down his pants and boxers, the last thing you see before blood shoots up in your head being the hard cock that dangles out of reach. The heat in your stomach stirs at the sight, anticipation building rapidly when you feel him run the reddened tip between your puffy folds.

“Sure you don’t want it here?” Toji taps his cock against your ass hole and your entire body jolts in response, a loud Toji amusing rather than deterring him. “A’right, a’right! Gotcha the first time.”

His profound dream of burying himself nine inches deep into your ass crumbles as he aligns his cock with the entrance of your pussy. You brace yourself, patiently awaiting that initial sting that never goes away; no matter how many times he fucks you or how diligently he preps you, the thickness of his girth always threatens to split you in half.

But now he’s stalling, a complacent smile sitting on his lips while he contemplates your silence. “Bet you’re red as a beet in there, aren’t ya?”

He plunges himself inside before you are given the chance to either prove or disprove him, a silent scream punched from your throat as his cock rams straight into your g-spot. He huffs a deep breath, barely keeping a groan bottled, when he feels your walls tighten around him. It’s suffocating. Wet, and tight—a little similar to what being stuck in that small space feels like for you, but infinitely more pleasurable for him.

"Mm, such a sloppy little cunt. Got yourself stuck in there for this, didn't ya?"

His fingers latch onto your hips, bruising you as his nails dig meanly into your skin. He drags his cock halfway out of your cunt only to snap his hips back in, picking up a pace that ramps up over time. His quick thrusts fuck you further into that hole, your tits bouncing and slapping against the hard wooden planks while your dress rides higher to expose your back.

Toji bends your body into an arch, a heavy palm situated on your stomach until you’re able to hold the position on your own.

“Like it when your husband fucks ya like a bitch?” He grunts, catching the hand that’s squirming on the grass beside him and twisting it behind your back. “Pounded in broad daylight f'everyone to see how dumb you get over my dick, huh?"

Your whimpers don’t go unnoticed by him. He laughs at the high pitch your voice has assumed, babbling his name an incomprehensible amount of times that exceeds the frequency with which his swollen cock head kisses your pulsing core. You can't think enough to reply, and you can't bring yourself to ask him to stop.

He smacks your ass loud enough for you to whine, alerting every last neighbor in the block to what is happening in their quaint suburban neighborhood. “Answer me.”

“Yes, Toji—fuck, love how big it feels.” Your thoughts stem from your pussy without being filtered by your brain. All your body knows is how badly it needs to be pushed over the edge, disregarding the scornful looks you’ll definitely be receiving at the next neighborhood watch assembly.

“That’s not what I asked.” Toji smacks your ass again, softer this time—or so it feels because of your numbing skin. “I asked, Who owns this pussy, mm?”

“That’s not what you asked at all!” Your talking back earns you a third spank. You realize you’ve got no agency of your own.

“Won’t ask again. Who. Owns. This. Pussy?” He punctuates each word with a thrust sharper than the one before, his cock twitching when he hears you screaming your answer at the top of your lungs.

“You do, T-Toji. My pussy is yours—ngh!”

“And who’s bitch are you, baby?”

“Your bitch!” You answer willingly, your mind clouded, and your logic dulled. “Fuck, Toji, you know I’m all yours.”

“Damn right, y’are.” He hums in response, hunching over your body to rub tight circles around your clit, jerking the nub up and down, round and round.

You’re almost there, and when he asks you whether you wanna be bred like one, the tension in your gut finally snaps, eyes involuntary crossing as white waves of pleasure overtake you.

He fucks you through your high at an animalistic pace, the thought of filling your belly with a baby that’s half his and half yours flooding his brain before your answer registers, his cum spilling deep within your pussy with a few sloppy pumps that squelch to the sound of your mixed fluids.

His moans mingle with yours, the rough sound of his voice raising goosebumps from where he kisses your back to the resounding ringing in your ears. He wraps his arms around you almost tenderly, peppering your back with kisses that almost convince you he’ll finally pull you out of that miserable hell hole but that’s not his intention. It never was.

A final smack meets with your ass right before he rolls his pants back up and walks toward the house, undisturbed by the screams that follow close on his trail.

“You said you’d get me out of here!” Your fist hits the ground, finges clenching around a tuft of grass blades that you violently root out.

“And you said you can get out whenever ya want. That you needed time for yourself, ‘member?”

“I didn’t mean that!” You object, your tone too squeaky to be taken seriously. “Toji, you’d better help me or else—”

“Or else what? KFC until I die?” He snorts. “Relax, I’ll come back before Megumi gets ‘ere.” You hear his phone buzzing as he—presumably—punches something in his search bar. Hot wings don’t sound too bad; he whispers for himself to hear, speaking up only when he asks you if you want him to order you a twister wrap or something before he closes his order.

a/n: the episode excited me too much, apologies. i was gonna post this later asdfghjkl but toji is back and we cum.

[benedictscanvas]

saved you a seat - jamie tartt x reader

pairing: jamie tartt x reader

word count: 3.1k of pure fluff

a/n: no warnings for this one except language, obviously. i just wanted to imagine having a fluffy little coach trip with jamie tartt so i hope there are others out there who want to imagine the same. requests are SO open for jamie/roy/sam/ted please do send some ideas <3

---

You weren’t quite sure how you’d managed to engineer this situation, but you were worried that if you thought about it too hard, you might end up losing it. Somehow, on a coach to Amsterdam, you’d ended up wedged between a window and Jamie Tartt and despite that being the stuff of nightmares only about a year ago, now it was something you couldn’t have hoped for in advance.

“I said I’d save a seat for ya, didn’t I?” he’d claimed proudly when you shimmied past him to sit in the window seat.  He’d been smiling hopefully at you as he patted it when you’d walked down the aisle of the coach. You’d thought you’d be sitting with Rebecca at the back until he’d tugged at your wrist to stop you in your tracks.

“To be totally transparent, I thought you were joking,” you murmured to him once you were settled, bag tucked underneath your seat, “You also said the same to Roy yesterday, and I heard you saying it to Sam this morning.”

“Yeah, but I was fuckin’ with them,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Besides, we have a whole conditioner campaign to plan, right? Now’s as good a time to start as any.”

You tried not to let your heart sink a little. Of course it was work-related. You’d just have to be happy with the grin he was sporting as he nudged your arm.

“You’re on,” you grinned back, then, with a show of boldness, “But only if you promise not to complain when I inevitably fall asleep on you later.”

If anything, his grin grows wider.

“Shoulder’s all yours, love. I’m told it’s pretty comfy.”

“Who’s told you that? Roy?”

He rolls his eyes, but it’s too fond. You busy yourself trying to manoeuvre your laptop out of your bag, but a hand on yours stops you in your tracks. When you look up, Jamie’s face is soft and he’s tucking your laptop away again.

“Relax. The coach’ll take hours yet. We can get comfy first, yeah?”

“You’re right,” you concede, shuffling into the back of your seat again with a content sigh, “Don’t know why I’m pretending to be eager to work.”

He laughs and you join in. You want to tell him he’s got a downright infectious laugh these days, because its lighter than ever and always filled with genuine happiness, but you don’t. Too much. Instead, you push up on the back of the seat in front of you to tap Dani urgently on the shoulder, then sit down quickly and turn a fake-reprimanding glance at Jamie.

“What is it, amigo?” he directs his question towards Jamie who’s looking incredulous, “Or are you playing a cheeky prank?”

You tut and sink further into your seat as you shake your head at Jamie. He begins to point at you, but Dani is already ruffling Jamie’s hair and turning back around as he mutters happily in Spanish. Jamie turns to you, brows furrowed.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be, eh?”

You shrug, as playful as you can manage with your heart beating a little harder in your chest. He narrows his eyes at you, then settles into his seat, and you know he’s plotting revenge. You can’t wait.

---

It’s been an hour and a half, and you and Jamie have been going back and forth almost the entire time, the very idea of doing any work on his new ad campaign buried in favour of having fun. Jamie had snuck your phone from your lap and prank called Ted who was sat at the back of the bus. You’d then somehow managed to do the same with Jamie’s phone, but decided to send a rather inflammatory text to Jan Maas, which was followed by a half hour argument between the two men that was incredibly entertaining.

Most recently, Jamie had made a terrible noise putting his mouth to his elbow and blamed it on you, but luckily Sam had seen him do it and you’d been able to clear your name. It had been a stellar effort though, so you were giving it some time before you found something perfect to retaliate with.

“Can I ask y’ something?” Jamie spoke suddenly, but his voice was softer than you’d heard it on the journey so far. You turned to him and nodded encouragingly, “I was jus’ sat here wonderin’ - and please don’t take this the wrong way - but why y’ decided to come with us? I’m happy about it, ‘course I am, but-“

“I get it, Jamie,” you said quickly, because you could see how much he was struggling. It was heartwarming how earnest he was when he’d said he was happy you’d come with them though, and you were fighting an urge to lean in and kiss his cheek to stop his rambling, “I’m not exactly essential personnel for a trip to Amsterdam.”

“Fuck, that’s exactly what I was tryin’ not to sound like - wait, y’ don’t really think that do ya?”

“Jamie, seriously, stop worrying! It’s sweet but so unnecessary. Hannah, you know the one that usually handles socials? She couldn’t make it so Rebecca asked if I’d fill in. I’m not one to turn down a free trip with some of my favourite people.”

His smile was genuine until the last sentence, where it morphed into something cocky as he puffed his chest.

“You wanna name any of those favourite people of yours?”

You bit the inside of your cheek as you pretended to think about it. God, it felt like it would be so easy to admit that you’d jumped at the chance to come because you jumped at any chance to spend time with Jamie these days, but you couldn’t. There were hours of this bus ride left to sit in awkward silence if he didn’t take it well.

“Well, Ted’s gotta be right up there,” you began, shifting in your seat to look around the bus, “Sam, of course, and, god, Colin is a must. Rebecca, obviously-“

“No one who’s last name might happen to rhyme with a part of the body, or somethin’?”

You scrunch up your face in fake confusion. It’s easy to imagine doing this forever, just playing pretend with Jamie Tartt for the rest of time, and you’ll play along as long as he lets you.

“Ohhh you mean Jan Maas? Rhymes with ass, very clever. Didn’t know you were such a poet.”

“I dabble, me,” he deadpans, but neither of you can keep it up as you dissolve into giggles. Jamie pulls his cap further down his forehead to hide just how much he’s cracking up and you tuck your face down - no need to have the rest of the bus trying to get in on the joke. When you both calmed down, he turned, looking back up at you from under his hat, “Very quick by the way. Jan Maas, ass. You’re good, you are.”

“You’ve only just noticed?” you asked incredulously, intent on teasing him just a step further, but he takes his hat off to look at you properly when he answers, running his hand once, twice through his hair first, of course.

“Nah,” he replied, voice that soft whisper that you’d come to crave, “Y’ wanna know when I noticed?”

You swallowed thickly, leaning into him in the same way he had, all conspiratorial and close.

“I dunno. Do I wanna know?”

Jamie ignored you and continued, eyes flitting from your face to a thread on his joggers he was picking at.

“It was when I’d just come back to Richmond an’ everyone was mad at me. Rightly so, I know. But I was sat in me car, havin’ lunch cause no one would eat with me yet. You were walking past with Rebecca going to lunch and you waved at me, with this mad bright smile on your face y’know?”

“I may have a vague memory of that,” you said, as if seeing him alone in his car hadn’t broken your heart at that time.

“An’ then the day after, when you ate in your car an’ invited me to join. I knew y’ were only doin’ it for me, but I didn’t care. I jus’ remember being so grateful. So, so grateful. That’s when I knew you were…”

He trailed off, but he was stuck staring at your face. You could feel the heat sparking down the length of your spine as he seemed to search your expression for something. His own was unreadable.

“…good?”

It was like you had snapped him out of a trance and somehow you wished you hadn’t said anything.

“Good, yeah, that’s what I mean,” he murmured, then seemed to let that cocky mask fall back into place, “You wanna tell me when you realised I was good now so I don’t just sit here like a prick? Or, let me guess, you’re still waiting for it to happen?”

Despite the teasing tone, you somehow knew this wasn’t an opportunity to joke. There was a newfound vulnerability in Jamie that you were always careful not to tread on; it was such a welcome change after all.

“Nope, I know exactly when it was. I walked past the boot room one day, a couple weeks before we had that first lunch I think, and you were making sure things were tidy enough for Will to sort. There was nobody to watch you do it, either. I just knew that you were a different Jamie. That you were…good.”

Good didn’t cut it at all. You’d sworn then and there that you were going to help him find his way at Richmond whatever it took, and eating lunch in your car just so that he could join you a few weeks later felt like a good start. It had been. As Jamie worked to gain the love of his teammates, he had you as a constant sounding board, willing lunch partner and occasional movie night holder. He wasn’t invited over often, not wanting to seem too eager, but he’d never turned you down.

Yes, that was the moment you’d realised he’d changed, but there had been a million moments since that had turned him into the first person that came to mind when he’d asked you for your favourite person on the bus.

Now he wasn’t meeting your eyes at all, fully trained on that thread he’d been picking at. You sighed and flicked his hand to stop him ruining his favourite pair, and he finally looked up at you, wide puppy eyes that always made you melt when they showed up.

“You really mean that?”

Rather than replying, you hold out your pinky to him and watch his smile grow as he twists his own around yours. You let it linger then lean in to kiss your own hand and gesture for him to do the same. He does it so tenderly you think you’re getting lightheaded.

“Every word,” you assure him, settling back into your seat and untangling your hands from each other, “Now that I’ve been so nice to you, think I can cash in that shoulder offer from earlier?”

It was easier to revert to the easy banter than continue down this sincere path. And even though it was only just beginning to get dark, you couldn’t look at him any longer. Maybe if you were resting on his shoulder, you could grin for a bit without him wondering what was wrong with you.

He patted his shoulder invitingly and you snuggled down into it, until your cheek was smushed into his jacket and you could smell the cologne radiating from him. You threaded an arm into the crook of his elbow without thinking, just because it was more comfortable, but when you moved to take it away, he rested his hand on yours to keep you there. That same hand then came up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, staying to cradle your head for a moment.

You held your breath.

He quickly thought better of leaving his hand there, squeezing your head for just a moment before dropping his arm back to his side.

It took a while to breathe naturally again, especially knowing he’d feel every painstaking inhale and exhale against him, and it took even longer for your eyes to close and to finally drift off.

---

When you woke up again, you had to squint as your eyes adjusted to the almost total darkness of the coach. It had to have been a couple of hours. You wiped your mouth to ensure you hadn’t drooled on your very kind seat partner then risked a glance up at him without moving your head too much.

He looked asleep. His chin was tucked against the crown of your head, and his whole body was turned into yours in a way it hadn’t been when you’d fallen asleep. There was nothing that would make you want to move and disturb the moment, except for the unfortunate cramp in your neck you were simply going to have to stretch out.

You tried to gently ease your head out from under his but his eyes fluttered open immediately as he looked at you in concern.

“Y’alright love?”

 That voice. Huskier and broader than ever in its newly woken state. You smiled up at him and whispered back, noticing that the rest of the bus were either asleep or resting as you stretched your neck.

“Didn’t mean to wake you, sorry. You can have my shoulder now if you like, ‘s only fair.”

“Nah you’re alright. If you’re awake, I’m awake. What kind of seatmate would I be if I left you on your own, hm?”

“A normal one?” you offered, but he shook his head, holding a hand to his heart as if wounded.

“I will not have myself being described as anythin' but fuckin' extraordinary, please,” he insisted quietly, making you chuckle, “Did ya sleep well?”

“Very. Whoever told you that you have a comfy shoulder was annoyingly right.”

There was a note of jealousy in your tone that you didn’t expect to be there when you started talking. If Jamie noticed it, he didn’t say anything, even though you could have sworn you saw a smirk pass across his features.

“Well, I’ll let Colin know you agree with him,” he said matter-of-factly, and you wondered if he was telling you it was Colin on purpose. It was so difficult to second guess your every interaction with him, feelings getting stronger every minute you spent with him. Really, you were tired of it and tired in general and it was enough. Your usual caution had been left behind. You opened your mouth to speak, to maybe finally confess, but he was talking before you could begin.

“Actually, can I tell ya a secret?”

It took you a moment to recover from what you had been about to say and respond to him. 

“Uh…yeah, of course. Anything, you know that.”

“I do, yeah. Yeah, that’s part of it actually,” he was so in his head, but he was looking at you like he had earlier, searching for something. Nowadays, he looked so soft all the time, but there was a selfish part of you that hoped maybe he was especially soft with you, “It’s about what we said earlier. I lied to ya, and I’ve been fuckin’ kickin’ meself for it ever since.”

“You lied?”

“Yeah. I said the day we had lunch in your car was when I realised you were good. That’s not true,” he admitted, as if he was saying something shameful, “I already knew you were good, way before I was done bein’ a full-time prick. Anyone could tell you were good.”

Your heart was hammering away in your chest, in your throat, in your ears.

“That day in the car park was actually when I realised you were just…fuckin’ incredible. Like, the most beautiful person I know. Not just fit, I knew you were fuckin’ fit, I’ve got eyes, but like- y’ were just somethin’ else. You are somethin’ else. Special, like.”

You felt frozen in your seat. It was hard to tell with how 'Jamie' the whole speech had been, but you were pretty sure there was a confession in there. It didn’t sound like something he’d say to any of his mates. Still, you had to be sure.

“Sorry, Jamie, I might be being thick here but are you saying you’re like…into me? Like, romantically?”

You cringed instantly at your choice of words but he didn’t falter. This time, when he laid his hand over yours, he kept it there, stroking a steady rhythm into the back of your hand.

“I’m saying I’m into you in like…all the ways y’ can be into someone. I’m fuckin’ mad about you, Y/N. The only one who doesn’t see it is you, but you fell asleep on me shoulder and I was in fuckin’ heaven so I’m telling ya. Look, I’m not expectin’ anything-“

“Well, you should. Expect things, I mean,” you cut him off, because you can’t go another second without reciprocating, “I thought you saved me a seat to talk about your conditioner campaign.”

He scoffed loudly then glanced around to check he hadn’t woken anyone as he lowered his voice again.

“I couldn’t give a shit about all that,” he said as firmly as he could whisper, “I give a shit about you. A lot of shits.”

You let out a breathy chuckle as you reply.

“God, I give so many shits about you, Jamie. Too many shits. Have done for fucking forever, I was just about to tell you.”

“What, before I did?” he said, making a face, “As if I’d let you steal my thunder.”

You take an opportunity and a boldness you can’t help but seize as you take his face in both hands and pull it towards yours until you’re both a breath apart. He closes his eyes and pushes towards you but you keep him just a moment away, stroking a trail along one of his eyelids.

“Well I think you’re fucking incredible too. Prick,” you mumble, without any venom. It sounds like the most loving pet name in the world, the way you utter it for his ears only.

“Yours,” he counters quietly, winding his arms around your waist until he can pull you fully onto his lap and you have to bite back a squeal. You both glance around for onlookers and find none, “Think the coast is clear, babe?”

“Crystal,” you insist, surging forward to press a searing kiss to his lips, gratified when he responds just as enthusiastically, pushing back into you, both hands clutching at you like you were about to disappear any moment.

There were still plenty of hours left on the coach, however, and you were content to stay exactly where you were as long as Jamie would let you.

And there was no chance of him letting you go anywhere.

[cheriladycl01]

Goodbye NewYork - Grid and Daniel Ricciardo x Sunshine Driver! Reader

Plot: Y/N constantly jokes about the fact that she would take a bullet for any of the guys on the grid... however in 2026 when the FIA decide to make a New York track, with it not being policed as well as they have in the past Y/N turns those jokes into a reality.

A/N: Yes i know its dramatic ... but that's why you all are here! You love the fluff and the angst and the drama.

Warnings: Violence w/ Guns

2017 Rookie season Interview Age 22:

Interviewer - So, how has it been driving for Mclaren Honda alongside a world champion like Fernando Alonso.

Y/N - Oh wow its been a fever dream. He's taught me so much, and excited not only to be racing with him next year but with Renault as our engine manufacturer!

Interviewer - And who would you say have you become friends with this year?

Y/N - I think obviously i would consider Nando and I very close, you know we've travelled together and he even invited me back to Spain with him in the summer break. Other than that I've found myself close to Pierre, Daniel and Carlos, I've known Pierre for a long time back since karting days, same with Max and Charles who will be joining us next year in Sauber.

Interviewer - Thank you Y/N we really loved watching you drive this year and we can wait for next year!

2018 First Full Season Interview Age 23:

Interviewer - Hello again Y/N how are you!

Y/N - I am good and yourself?

Interviewer - Yes, obviously you've had a great year in Mclaren but they've decided against continuing with you and Fernando next year. This leaves you moving to Toro Rosso alongside Rookie Alex Albon. You said at the end of last year you'd made fast friends with him, Carlos and Daniel. Do they still stand where Carlos is taking over the Mclaren seat.

Y/N - Of course I'm really happy for Carlos, I performed well in Mclaren this year, but i think Lando Norris is a promising rookie and Carlos is an excellent driver. It didn't shock me when the Red Bull Junior team reached out to me as I was a junior driver for Red Bull. Obviously I'm gutted I wont be racing with Pierre this year but I've met Alex and we get on well!

Interviewer - Any new friends?

Y/N - Erm not really new no. Charles joined us this year and has driven fantastically and is going to Ferrari next year. I cannot wait to see what he can bring in a competitive car

Interviewer - Still friends with Daniel?

Y/N - Of course, the honey badger and i are closer than ever, he had some big decisions to make going in 2019 and he needed someone to support him. He's just a ball of sunshine and I'm not being dramatic when i say i would die for that man

Interviewer - Ah your so funny Y/N its always a pleasure to talk to you. Well i wish you all the best for this year to come and hopefully 2019 we can see a P1 finish!

2019 Season Interview Age 24:

Interviewer - Ah and here we have my absolute fave to interview at the end of the year it is Y/N Y/L/N!

Y/N - Hello!

Interviewer - Woah may i say what a year its been for you, this time last year and we will roll the clip here, you said you were gutted to not be racing alongside Pierre but here we are at the end of the 2019 season and you've raced the last half of the season with him when Red Bull switched out drivers

Y/N - Alex is a very promising driver, you know he proved that he was a good driver in Toro Rosso and i think he is proving that in Red Bull, its a shame that Pierre had to go because i think he was just getting used to a car that is clearly built for Max's driving technique which is very different from the rest of ours. The pressure isn't easy to be the second driver in Red Bull

Interviewer - Is that why you turned down Christians offer to take Pierre's place and they went with Alex?

Y/N - Not completely no, I think I've pushed my car to the limit this year and we've learnt a lot as a team so we will come back bigger and better next year with some major changes to the team. I think I would do well in Red Bull but I want to prove myself first

Interviewer - Incredible, really and your friends how's that going?

Y/N - It's amazing, each year i get closer and closer to these guys and i genuinely can call most of them my friends, I've enjoyed getting to know the rookies over this year I'm really close to Alex, Lando and George. You know me and Lewis have shared some really funny moments this year, me and Seb went fishing in March... its been a fantastic year both on and off track.

Interviewer - How important are these boys to you.

Y/N - Oh they are most important to me, my whole heart goes out to them.

2020 Season Interview Age 25:

Interviewer - What a year its been with this pandemic, but we are finally here back in Abu Dhabi, and weve just completed the last race of the 2020 season and there's some exciting changes for you next year!

Y/N - Yes it was sooner than i was hoping for, but I was told that my seat was being taken by Yuki Tsunoda who will be a rookie on the 2021 Season. Where it was so late in the year, i wouldnt have had a seat and I think as a woman i would have struggled to get that seat back. So i grabbed at the Red Bull offer.

Interviewer - That's amazing news for you, has it however affected any of your friendships?

Y/N - Everyone, even Alex told me i would be stupid not to go for it so i did. I'm very thankful to Christian for this opportunity. I know there were other people who were thinking it would be there seat, but I'm in F1 to win.

Interview - There's also been some... rumors about you and a certain Australian going around the paddock.

Y/N - Yes Daniel and i started dating this year, it was actually really funny. I joke to him how I'm only dating him due to my Stockholm Syndrome of being in lockdown with him.

Interviewer - You were with Daniel throughout lockdown?

Y/N - Yes we were at the Australian GP when we heard about it, my flight got cancelled and then they shut down all air control and i was basically stuck in Australia, with the risk as well it wasn't worth it so i got tested and then Daniel offered me to stay with him. Obviously was longer than expected but yeah we came out as a couple.

Interviewer - Amazing honestly, who do you see having a good come back next year?

Y/N - Oh i think Mercedes will be strong, same with AlphaTauri, I think Ferrari also have a fantastic line up with Carlos Sainz moving there. Obviously my boyfriend is going to Mclaren and i couldn't be happier that he's keeping his seat and working with someone as great a driver as Lando

Interviewer - And how does that work, tension wise with him being ex Red Bull and you now being a driver in what was his seat only 3 seasons prior

Y/N - Obviously i know that with Max Verstappen being as good a driver as he is the pressure is insane in that second Red Bull seat and you are very much that ... a second. So I've talked to the team and said that you know, if I'm the stronger car and the better driver that I don't want Golden Boy to be prioritized. He really helped me make my decision in the end.

Interviewer - Amazing thank you for your time Y/N.

2021 Interview Age 26:

Y/N - Hello lovely people its so nice to see you without masks on!

Interviewer - Yes we agree! Congrats on some fantastic driving this year it really showed how quickly you can learn a car. You really rivalled Max Verstappen and Hamilton this year. 2022 will be your year. It's amazing how you helped steal that Constructors title from Mercedes. I bet Christian is very happy with your performance i mean we can tell he is from that long 2024 contract extension...

Y/N - Yeah its been a really amazing year of racing. Max has been an amazing team mate, you know he's really supported by move to Red Bull and we've had an amazing year with a really good lineup, a really good car and i cant wait for next year.

Interviewer - So, to the questions we really have to ask, obviously you and Daniel have been dating for 2 years now, and someone found a clip from when you were friends jokingly saying you'd die for him. Is that still the case now that he's progressed to boyfriend.

Y/N - Honestly i wasn't joking I would lay my life down on the tarmac and let someone run we over at 300mph if it meant anyone on the current grid was happy. They have each given me something so special and so close to my heart, whether that be a gift, or a life lesson, or a hug, or advise... they honestly most of them have saved me on my darkest days when i considered leaving the sport.

Interviewer - And how do you feel about Albon's return as he joins Williams Racing in 2022

Y/N - I mean i kept in contact with Alex for the whole season, I invited him to some of the races with my passes and yeah we've hung out with Lily his girlfriend who i get on with really well. So I'm extremely happy to be racing against him again.

2022 Season Interview Age 27:

Y/N - I'm really sorry but I'm gonna have to make this quick, because my plane will leave soon and I have to grab my things from the hotel.

Interviewer - Of course no problem. It's been a fabulous year with you coming Third in the Drivers Championship, just a few points behind Charles Leclerc... and having the second win for Constructors... how do you feel.

Y/N - Yeah there was some really close moments where it could have been me, Max or Charles. We started of the season a little rocky and some miscommunication but then Ferrari's strategy got worse while ours improved which meant Max and I were getting those crucial points.

Interviewer - Leaning away from the racing ... how are you and Danny Ricciardo now that he wont be in the 2023 season...

Y/N - We've come to an agreement with Red Bull that he will come to every race with me to be my race engineer ...

Y/N - I'm kidding but he will still be attending with me as he's gonna be a reserve driver so he'll be a quick standby option.

Interviewer - Amazing thank you for your time

2023 Season Interview Age 28:

Interviewer - Another win from Max Y/N, he's a three time World Champ now and you were close coming in second again. How are you feeling confident for 2024, or worried you loose your seat.

Y/N - Holy shit, you sound so cryptic and me and Christian have already been talking about a contract extension. I'm happy in Red Bull and he believes I'm driving on par with Max and I'd like to see a lengthy future with them.

Interview - So are we hearing 2024 will be your year?

Y/N - Yes i think working with Max has led me to learn the way he drives very well, I'm able to anticipate what he's going to do, and I can out maneuver him easier than most. I'm excited to see what 2024 will bring us.

Interviewer - And of course, I have to ask now that you've been with Mr Ricciardo for 4 years now, going strong and you have some amazing bonds with your fellow drivers on the grid are we going to see and F1 wedding anytime soon?

Y/N - Oooo i mean Y/N Ricciardo does sound nice, I think where he is coming back onto the grid this year, the timing wouldn't make sense but ... you know I think anything can happen.

Interviewer - Oh she's so cheeky with that wink ... Hello Charles how are you feeling.

2024 Season Interview Age 29:

Interviewer - Oh Y/N what an awful year this has been, i bet you and Max cant wait to say goodbye to this car. P4 in the constructers... what happened.

Y/N - I think Max and I struggled driving this car, which was both a skill issue on our half and a team issue of Red Bull's half, we had lost of changes of team members throughout the year, lots of miscommunication but I promise 2025 we will come back bigger and better. I'm so happy for Charles getting his World Championship finally and I'm incredibly proud of two of my sons getting their Maiden race wins... Lando and Oscar congrats. And on my other son, for getting his first Maiden podium and proving everyone wrong and having an amazing second season in Williams, well done Logan. Well done to Ferrari, Mclaren and Mercedes for Constructors Top 3, but watch out for us next year.

Interviewer - Amazing, its so nice to see how proud and close you are too the other drivers.

Y/N - Yes, i would change none of that.

2025 Season Interview Age 30:

Interviewer - And here we are with the first ever Female World Champion of Formula One, Y/N you've hit some amazing achievements this year. You've become a WDC, you got engaged to you soulmate, you hit 30 years old, you had such a great car and great races. How are you feeling.

Y/N - I have no words for this year, you know I was starting to think maybe my time is up. But my contract in Red Bull lasts till 2028 to match Max contract and you know I'm happy, still driving well clearly and yeah I've loved every moment of this year.

Interviewer - And do you think 2028 would be your retirement year?

Y/N - Oh i don't know about that ... I love racing and you know, Daniel and I are happy and obviously the F1 wedding will be soon. We've said we are happy to wait a while for kids, so we'll see how it goes...

Halfway through the 2026 Season.

BBC News:

And we bring some shocking news to you tonight. F1 Driver Y/N Ricciardo is in critical condition after being shot on race weekend here in New York City. It was reported that the drivers were all celebrating her recent wedding to fellow F1 Driver Daniel Riccardo last month in Australia. The race according to the FIA and surrounding authorities wasn't well protected and put a lot of the drivers in danger. Y/N celebrated a first place podium the same day she was shot, with fellow drivers Charles Leclerc and Oscar Piastri. More Updates will be shared at 10 tonight.

F1 Instagram:

Y/N Ricciardo, in critical condition after altercation at New York Grand Prix.

We are sending our thoughts to her family and the people affected at this time...

Comments -

landorizlover02 - omg this is so scary, the videos on twitter of them all celebrating in the paddock and then the screams

f149 - sources say Y/N actually saw the person before anyone else and pushed Daniel, Lando and Oscar out the way before stepping closer to the man so he would aim for her and not the others. Talk about fight or flight!

kimiisfoine - she is literally a hero ... I'm in shock.

carloschili - I've seen the video, and her face when she realizes something isn't right and then she literally pulls Lando behind her and pushes Daniel and Oscar away.

The drivers tweets -

@PierreGASLY - I'm deeply upset by the lack of protection at the New York GP, I hope that this teaches, the FIA when we are on street circuits like this extra security measures are needed. I wish Y/N a full recovery <3

@Charles_Leclerc - Y/N saved my life tonight and I will never forget that. Alex and I are sat here shaking in shock, i wish for her full recovery and send my prayers to Daniel and her family.

@RGrosjean - Y/N was one of the best people I've ever met on the grid, having scary crashes is part of the job. Never did i think that this would ever be possible. Wishing Y/N to get better!

@KevinMagnuessen - I wasn't there, but hearing the panic and lockdown annoucement is never something I want to experience again. #dobetterf1

@Carlossainz55 - Y/N is one of my best friends and the fact that his has happened to such a happy and bright individual is so sad. I hope to see Y/N soon and am staying in New York until i no longer can in hopes to see her.

@LandoNorris - I never thought I'd be standing behind someone who has acted like my older sister in this sport, who has become a true friend as she takes a bullet to save me from an evil individual. I am in the hospital with Daniel now, awaiting news on her.

@LewisHamilton - Y/N has been an exceptional individual both on and off track, I hope the FIA do better in the future to protect us as drivers.

@OscarPiastri - I have no words for what occurred tonight... no words.

.... more loading

"Y/N baby please" Daniel says as he looks at you, you'd just got out of surgery to remove the bullets. The doctors said that you were lucky that Max and the Mclaren pitstop worker had acted as quickly as possible to get the gun away from the man. Daniel held you as you fell to the ground from the pian holding the wound that was bleeding out.

"How is she?" Lando asks coming into the room with two coffees. Handing one over to Daniel.

"There was a lots of strain on her body, so they don't know if she'll wake up..." Daniel breathes slowly.

"When she wakes up, man... When. She's the strongest person I know" Lando sighs tears in his eyes.

"I fucking froze, I watched a she pulled me behind her after she pushed you and Osc away..." Lando cries a little.

"And I do it again Lan" a course and strained voice breathes out.

"Y/N! Hunny oh my god" Daniel cries smiling at you.

"Hey darling" you smile a little strained.

"I'll go get the doctor!" Lando says rushing out to grab a nurse.

"I love you so much, you are without a doubt the strongest woman I know!" he says kissing your forehead and cheek.

"I love you to baby"

"When do you recon i can race again" you ask after a silent moment making him cry out a laugh tears still falling from his eyes wondering how you can be thinking about that already.

"My little racer, huh" he sighs looking over at you.

"I love you, never ever do that again!" he says.

"I'd do it a million times over if it means you are sat where you are right now..."

A/N: This feels borderline social media au... and i kinda want to get into it... but I love writing out the angst and tumblr still confuses me with picture sizing and stuff so I'm not sure...

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle

[flying-fangirls]

Watching my little (half) joke post after Part 43 spark some discussion has made me think a lot over this for the past couple days, and I think I've pinpointed my main frustration with the women of Malevolent overall.

Simply put: the women of Malevolent do not get to have a voice.

Yes, literally they aren't voice-acted by Harlan. But I don't really want to get into that side of the topic here. I'm saying figuratively women do not have their own voice in this show.

Who is Bella outside of her relationships to Arthur or Daniel? Did she like music too, was she sarcastic or sincere, what was her biggest goal in life? Who is Faroe outside of how she makes Arthur feel? Who are Anna and Amanda outside of their connections to the King in Yellow? And I don't mean just a quick sentence-long description about them, I mean a genuine in-depth answer to "Who are they?"

Secondary characters that are men/male-aligned (Noel, Oscar, Collins, etc) have a strong sense of individual personality and motivations, enough that you could get a decent amount of discussion/analysis about them if you wanted. You can't get that kind of character discussion for the women if you tried because the show simply does not provide it for you, no matter how integral to the plot their characters (or concept of a character) may be. Heck, Shub set up the plot of this whole show and yet she's so nothing of a character that she's practically just a name to throw around when it sounds cool.

Almost everything we know about the women comes from men's perspectives, either through their side of relationships or through quick mentions of the women without any real substance to who those women really were. Other people have suggested the idea of finding a journal or a few more letters from Amanda to give her character more time/attention-- something similar could be done with any of the other women too, anything that lets their personalities/unique motivations be directly shown instead of vaguely mentioned or hinted at by men.

(I'll admit that I do think Marie is written more along the lines of secondary characters like Oscar, and I'm pretty happy with her character! But the fact that she's the only woman I can think of to break that pattern is... not great)

And yes I know that there are men in this show that also do not get to have their own voice (Roland, Parker, Henry, etc.) That's expected! All stories have characters that act as collateral or tools to move the plot/main characters forward. But when every single female character serves as a plot device with no strong sense of unique self, while only some of the male characters get that same treatment and the rest get plenty of personality and individuality-- that's when it becomes a problem.

The women of Malevolent get names (or, some of them do), they get roles and influence within the plot, and a few of them get small glimpses of what could be a personality if you look for it. But the women of Malevolent do not get a voice. We can see the vague shape of them on the edges of the show, but we never get the chance to hear them. And they never get the chance to speak themselves, to be heard.

I love Malevolent-- really, truly love this show. Which is why it's only so much more frustrating for me when it overall struggles to give its female characters the same respect as its male characters. Again, I'm not talking about the voice-acting, and I completely skipped the expanded cast of female characters (the wraith, the widow, the witch, etc.) and my concerns with what kinds of women are represented in the show and how they're presented. This post is really just me trying to express a genuine frustration that I (and at least a few other people) have with the writing of this show, and try to explain why those frustrations exist.

I promise this is NOT meant to be an attack on anyone and I'm not trying to deny other perspectives on this topic. This is also NOT an attack on Harlan or the podcast as a whole. I'm just trying to share some thoughts here.

[sleepy-spacetronaut]

Gravity Holes; A Gravity Falls AU

Start note: This idea spawned in my head after my evening exam, i got inspired by the tons of fan art of ‘what if __ person went through the portal?’. There is a multitude of Alternate universes for GF, many have a more domestic aspect, but this one will contain the most out-of-worldly stuff happening.

Name origin: an unexplainable phenomenon called the ‘Holes’ often occurred at determinable intervals accros the multiverse, causing round fenestral portals to open at random in various dimensions, allowing weird creatures to fall into Oregon’s notorious mystery town “Gravity Falls”.

Main idea: the storyline begins to deviate from the plot on the episode ‘Not What He Seems!” , where instead of Standford exiting from the portal, Dipper, Mabel, Stanley and Waddles get sucked in due to some malfunction.

The ‘Tale of Two Stan’s’ happens in a way different context, where the twins meet their long lost grunkle on the other side of the Mystery Shack portal.

Soos, however, is left behind with the three journals and the half-collapsed portal, he closes off the mystery shack and calls Wendy explaining there’s an emergency. Together they start rummaging through all the stuff Ford and Stan had left behind in matter of books, blueprints and junk pieces that could serve to rebuild the machine.

The disappearance of the Pines is soon spread like wildfire through the town, upon what they all agree to keep it a secret from agents of the federal bureau of investigations . Soos and Wendy are soon joined by Pacifica, Gideon and Fiddleford McGucket , and the five of them form an unlikely rescue team in order to bring the Pines back.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel meet their Grunkle Ford, and as a family of four + a companion pig, they travel from one dimension to another, fending of for their lives and simultaneously searching for the phenomenon called “Holes”, which is their sole chance of ever returning to their own universe.

Albeit, the Pines are not the only seekers of Holes, as after the portal collapsed, Bill Cipher and his henchmaniacs also began searching for a way to break into Gravity Falls for the sake of World Domination. As only Bill can travel freely without the need if complex traveling (he is incorporeal), he often jumps back to the town in order to traumatize and taunt its inhabitants. As this goes down, the Pines enter a race against the clock and against Bill.

One question remains: who can get in back to their dimension first—Who will win?

Can an AU have an ending?

If so, there’s a 50/50 percent chance they’ll make it back to the Shack—-so many possibilities out there!

It is unclear yet if they do return, if the Weirdmaggedon will still happen if they do, or if they open a collaborating with Bill Cipher later on to get back home, yet one thing is clear:

Stanley will be making stupid jokes about this for the rest of his life.

That is a promise.

The “Holes” - A summary

End Note: I will later post an in-dept explanation page about the Holes phenomenon. Yes, I’m making a schematized, nearly scientific explanation page about a (probably) nonexistent thing for the sake of the AU, I love world building :)

edit: darn you autocorrect, had to fix some stuff . (The autocorrect is my opp since 2020–I’m sorry in advance if there are more mistakes)

[mixterglacia]

CONTENT WARING: Vivziepop/Stolitz Critical below the cut.

TL;DR- This episode was inconsistent to put it politely. I will not continue such niceties below the cut. You've been warned.

I'm going to start with the good. The jokes with Satan and his...therapist?? are delightful, and considering how awful this episode was, I will take it.

The bit where the rest of the imps are tormenting Stolas felt so good, but I'm aware we're meant to sympathize with poor wittle owl boi can do no wrong uwu. So that missed by a mile.

While it wasn't consistent, this episode had some stunning animation. Kudos to the team, especially those working on the shot where Stolas is lifting his cape in the song. That and the slow turns were beautiful.

Alright let's rip into this.

If the second half of this episode existed in a vacuum, it might have hit its mark. But it doesn't. This is TOTAL tonal whiplash. Completely unearned and obnoxious. Once again, we have the biggest helluverse problem:

I don't want to put in the effort to earn my drama. I am relying on the fandom to fill in the blanks so they cry.

The song is horrendously demeaning and bad. He's belittling him because he's in a place where Blitz can't fight back. You can't convince me that I should go from the tone at the start of the song to the end.

GOD i hate these two. there is nothing appealing left. They are a hollow, pathetic shell of what we were promised. this is "messy" in the way a dumpster is. This isn't some artsy spill of candy. This is trash with glitter poured all over it.

Suddenly we're getting Blitz's "truwe" feelings all dumped on us in the span of a single musical number. This is TERRIBLE. You have been so stingy with any level of development on his end that this feels like a car getting t-boned at an intersection. I guess "self indulgent" is code for "I didn't want to put in effort, i just wanted my OTP." Which is fine in a fandom sense, but this is a SHOW. You have to actually make us believe they feel like that. You have FAILED, and you're still trying to give yourself the prize? Man, you are deluded.

This was total dogshit. This was a rushed attempt to get Stolas in Blitz's house/bed. This was nothing short of MORE woobification of this dumbass owl. HE DID THIS TO HIMSELF. IF ANYTHING, THIS IS A SLAP ON THE WRIST.

He's a privileged piece of shit that is so babied by the writers that even his PUNISHMENT is nothing. So he's banished, but only for a hundred years, which is nothing to an immortal. If you're trying to bring him down to be on par with the imps, you've failed.

He's still going to get his job back in the future. He's still going to have money in the future. He's still going to have power in the future. If anything, you should have had the punishment make him be an imp for those years.

But no. You're so obsessed with him that you've centered the whole plot around HIM. Not I.M.P, not Blitz.

HIM.

This show has become so derailed at this point. Each episode is (somewhat) fine on their own, but you can't sit there and tell me they have any level of consistency. I keep thinking they're going to hit their stride, and they keep failing to do so. This is pathetic.

I'm very close to giving up on this series. Even analyzing it has become a chore. You aren't fun to watch, or make fun of. You're just mediocre.

I so desperately want these shows to have better writing. I want them to have quality and be successful at the same time. But currently we only have the latter and I fear that will wane in time if Vivienne doesn't get her head out of her ass and put in the effort I know her to be capable of. You can't keep coasting off of your pilot fans forever. I implore you to have someone work on the tone and consistency of the helluverse in the future.

Somehow Helluva makes Hotel look like high art, and that's a shame. When it was only the pilots, I truly adored Helluva. It had wonderful characters and great humor.

But here we are.

[maranigai]

Mohg for the ask meme? 😅

Ah, Luminary Mohg my beloved...

favorite thing about them

Mohg's relations with love, both as a feeling and a concept. He's the person who has been denied any love (or any virtue) from the very beginning of his life, the person who has been abandoned, forsaken - and who was completely enraged and disgusted by it. So he believes that everyone deserves love, and care, and dignity - this is what he promises, sinserely, to his people, this is what his dynasty is for. And, of course, this is what leads to his downfall. His patron deity - an outer goddess of love and suffering - is a sadomasochistic, bloodthirsty abomination, but she grants strength, and how can Mohg deny the strength needed to protect those he loves? Or how can he not listen to his half-brother, who speaks of love, of compassion for all - even if his words are the charm that deprives Mohg of his own heart and will? He loved the world around him so much, no less, or maybe even more, than Morgott, but he refused to put up with its imperfections, its injustice and hypocricy - and first became a bloody monster himself, then lost it all to another monster, with similar motives, but much greater powers, which brings us...

least favorite thing about them

...to Mohg's death. Because he deserved better. Sure, he was a grim power, a servant of the goddess of torment, the leader of a murderous cult that killed and kidnapped people - and I can easily see why Mohg, despite all his original motives, deserved death... but not this death. Because it was such a cruel mockery of everything that was important to Mohg - love, dignity, freedom. It's not that I dislike the ending of his story because it's a bad plot or a writing issue... it's just too heartbreaking. Easily in the top-3 of all the FromSoft's Prepare-to-Cries for me.

favorite line

Ahh, I can see it, clear as day! The coming of our dynasty!

...I'm not crying (cries)

brOTP

Morgott, surely. Despite all of their contradictions, it was Morgott who had been with Mohg in the sewers all those years, it was Morgott who had lived through it all as Mohg had, it was Morgott - and only Morgott - who could truly understand him. Mohg might look up to Godwyn and love his dynasty with all his heart, but Morgott was his twin, his other half, inseparable. and all this is as true for Morgott himself as for Mohg

OTP

Ansbach, because my favourite trope strikes once again, lol. I've also seen some Radahn/Mohg post-dlc art... and honestly, there's something to it.

nOTP

Morgott. They're brothers, your honor! Also Miquella, because... well, I think I don't really need to explain it our lord Mohg deserved so much better

random headcanon

In terms of personality, Mohg resembles young pre-godhood Marika more than any other of her children. They also share an uncontrollable urge to make the least appropriate jokes in the least appropriate circumstances.

unpopular opinion

Mohg does care about the Golden Lineage, despite having founded his own dynasty. He's the eldest (after Godwyn's death) in his family, and he considers himself responsible for the rest of his relatives, feeling that he must protect them as Godwyn once did.

song i associate with them

Heather Dale - Prodigal Son (finally a musical association in a language that most people here understand!)

favorite picture of them

Once again, so many beautiful arts with Mohg. I guess for now I'll pick this art by motgarel

Also a bonus mention of this art with this amazing veiled!Mogh by pumpumkins 

[mxtantrights]

Bounded by shadow and blood (6)

Azriel x magic!fem!reader grab your popcorn, we're meeting some new faces! I promise I'm not making the inner court into villains, it's just the way I see them and how they fit into the plot. things will change!!

It’s been about a week since you caught Lars. Azriel left the next morning. He hadn’t even said goodbye. Which you thought was rude seeing as you were the reason the mission went so well but you didn’t take it personally. 

You wanted him gone anyways. He was asking too many questions about you.

And now that he was gone you could finally think. Think about all the stress that waits for you. Your brother gone, the throne empty and the council wishing for you to take the seat. You have about ten weeks left until you would have to go home. If you didn’t find your way there, they would find their way here and take you back.

Thesan knows everything now. You figured you couldn’t keep him in the dark about this. Especially if you were going to ask him for resources to help you look for your brother. According to Cyril he was headed for the night court. A pit grew in your chest at that information. 

What business did your brother have there? And why hasn’t he returned? 

If you wanted to avoid sitting on the throne you’d have to play nice with the night court. Even though two of its members seem to want to know more about you.

This was the type of spy work you loathed. You liked the violence of it, the attacking and planning. But you didn’t like the political aspects to it. The lie and alliances and backstabbing. You had enough of that when you grew up in Sangri. 

Right now all you wanted to do was find your brother but you would have to wait. Thesan was helping you figure out a way into the night court without having to tell them your real business being there. He had said that would be half the battle.

Apparently the high lord could enter peoples minds. Which meant even thinking about your plan could put you in danger. 

Today was the test run. Thesan invited the high lord and some members of his inner circle to a casual meeting. He’s going to spring the idea of you visiting their court. 

-

You could hear the talking and commotion from the tea room. You brushed down the frills of the dress you were wearing. Thesan told you very last minute that your guests tend to dress formal for almost everything. 

Right now the deep red dress was the only thing you had. Or, it was the only thing you felt comfortable in because everything else was for infiltration missions and you can’t be seen wearing them to this meeting. Also they were too dressy for you.

You take a deep breath and walk down the hall. The tea room doors were open. Great. You keep walking until you enter the room. All the talking stops. 

It’s a full house you realize. Thesan guessed that only four or five of them would show up but all eight of them are here. He had ran down the names for you this morning.

You obviously knew Nesta, who was sitting next to Cassian. They sit facing towards you at the table. And you knew Azriel. He was sitting next to a blonde, Morrigan. And Rhysand was sitting next to his high lady Feyre at one end of the table. Your eyes don’t quite catch who the eighth person is, their back to you. Thesan is at the other end of the table. An empty chair beside him and next to the unknown person.

“I was thinking you weren’t going to show.” Thesan joked.

You rolled your eyes playfully, “how could I miss tiny sandwich time.” 

You walk over to your seat, pulling the chair out. The person you are going to sit next to you becoming familiar all at once.

It had been a long time since you had seen her. Amren. Or at least that is the name she took after being in this world for so long. She looked almost the same as the last time you saw her, which had been some centuries ago. Right before you had come to live in the dawn court permanently you had traveled around. You ran into her once, in the middle of one of her bloodbaths. You had helped her secure the blood more easily.

“Amren?” You ask.

She smiles and launches out of her seat. She wraps her arms around you almost lifting you off the ground. You wrap your arms around her too. 

She pulls away from you first.

“How are you here right now?” She asks.

“I’m Thesan’s emissary.” You answer.

She makes a face, but she seems to pick up on the tone of your answer. You do not want to talk about it in the open.

“How do you two know each other?” 

You turn the voice that asked the question. Nesta. You should have known. 

“That’s private.” You answer.

“Rhysand could just read your mind.” Nesta argues.

“I can’t.” The high lord says.

You look over at him, “You can’t or you won’t.”

He places his elbows on the table and peers closer at you.

“I didn’t misspeak.” 

Huh. That was interesting. 

“Well, I guess tea time will finally be interesting this time Thesan.” You joke.

Thesan, who was sipping on water, almost chocked and spilt it all out. But he regained his composure and diplomacy. You take a seat next to Amren.

-

The meeting was winding down. Thesan had talked you up a bunch to the high lord. And he of course insisted that even you could visit the night court and still return to the dawn court.

Rhysand had said that the sights would surprise you but you remained confident it wouldn’t. You two had a bit of a push and pull throughout the whole meeting that seemed to intrigue everyone.

While the rest of the inner circle lingered in the tea room and you Amren stepped out to talk in private. You brought her to one of the sitting rooms and closed the door. 

“Okay, explain yourself right now.” She speaks.

“It’s a very long story, but I need you to do your best to keep my powers a secret.” You say.

Amren makes a face at that, crosses her arms across her chest too. She wasn’t going to like doing it, but for the time being your abilities are on a need to know basis. The rest of the inner circle doesn’t need to know.

“Azriel told all of us how you took him down. It won’t be hard for them to go digging around with what they know.” She replies.

You nod your head at her words. She is right. It was stupid pulling a movie like that over Azriel. If he didn’t figure it out on his own surely having the help of the rest of the inner circle would help. You just wanted to wipe the smugness that he exuded. 

“My brother has gone missing.” You admit.

Amren uncrosses her arms.

“For how long?” She asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “I mean the council says he was away on a month long trip, but now I’m thinking it was a month long head start.”

“You think he ran?” She asks again.

“I don’t know, no one will tell me anything besides the fact that I am next in line.” You explain.

“What?!” She shouts.

You try to quiet her and grab her hands in yours, “My sentiments exactly. He spawned no children and we have no uncles or aunts. I’m the only one.” 

“So you’re to be queen?” Amren says, shocked.

“I am not to be queen, Amren. I am to find my brother and tie him to the throne if I have to. And I wouldn’t even be queen if I took the throne, I’d be empress.” You clarify.

She lets out a laugh, “And you don’t want that?” 

“Amren the last thing I want to do is rule over people. I just want to do what I want.”

She grips your hands tighter, “And if your brother…”

You know what she means when she lets the words trail off. What if your brother is dead. You can't imagine it, you can't think it. You can't.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. That is why I’m going to visit your court soon.” you say.

“To look for him?” 

You nod, “Apparently he was headed there.”

She gives you a look. As if to ask you if you really believe that he would tell the people he was running from his next location. You sigh. It was the only piece of information you had on the matter. That and the fact that he wasn’t home.

“I’ll put in a word about wanting you to visit to Rhys.” She says.

At that you wrap your arms around her in a hug. She hugs you back.

“Thank you Amren. You don’t know how much this means to me.” You smile.

“If it comes down to them or you, I pick you every time.” She admits.

[utilitycaster]

I don't know how you feel about it, but I was extremely frustrated last night when I found out that break was called after around 3 hours. I just felt that at that point they should have just made it a Crown Keepers episode instead of promising that BH would be back and then them barely being in the episode. I don't know, I'm usually really go with the flow with CRs creative choices, but this was just a real big swing and a miss for me. I wish this had all just been its own episode

So here's my feelings:

My thoughts on EXU Prime, and later Kymal, were that I love the player characters and their relationships and much of the worldbuilding (notably all of Niirdal-Poc and the Qoniira Tetrarchy) and I liked many of Aabria's NPCs but there were some pretty big gaps left in "what the fuck is going on" that left me feeling as though I wouldn't mind seeing the characters again but I didn't feel strongly about continuing the story in-world, if that makes sense. The Aevilux reveal, for example, was sort of what the main plot of EXU Prime hinged upon (ie, that was Myr'atta Niselor's motivation; that was what the deal with Ted was) and so the fact that didn't come out for over 2.5 years irl after it ended meant I'd just kind of said "well, some weirdo from Syngorn really wanted to do shit to Opal for some reason related to her sister, who is also her patron, and we don't know why either of these things is the case, and I guess that's what happened" and made my peace with it. Similarly, I don't know what the Nameless Ones want, and never have (other than, at one point, the circlet of barbed vision, and I don't know why they want it). I made a joke that Myr'atta, Poska, and Otohan are all kind of the same and honestly that is the thing: if you don't know why a villain is doing something - even if the reason is "because I love to be evil and terrible!" it's hard to care, and if those are only villains, it's hard to be invested in the story about the heroes either, even if you like the heroes as characters.

When I say I like how this ended, I mean it - I think it could have gone only a few ways, but I like that Morrighan and Opal have both become divine champions, Morrighan willingly and Opal less so (this is yet another case of "the gods don't do take-backsies on oaths", but also, I do feel for Opal despite it all because of Aimee's excellent work throughout). I mentioned how I felt about the exact details of Cyrus's death but I don't mind that he's dead. Fy'ra was a highlight throughout, as she frequently is, and I think she was faced with two extremely unpleasant choices and made a fascinating decision. But I'd have preferred to see this as a flashback (see next paragraph) or like. Just decide what happened. If I'm being extremely honest a lot of my issues with the Crown Keepers portion is that it felt like there was a very specific desired ending (Opal's complete corruption and Cyrus's death); I also said at some point well before that you can only do so much with the Crown Keepers while Dariax is there because Matt does, even if he's turning his brain off to play our Charisma-only kinda short king, know all the cheat codes for the main campaign. It's kind of like why how, even if the DM will control an absent player during RP, they usually have another player control in combat.

I don't mind that the Bells Hells portion was short. I think the choice to break where they did makes sense given everything else that went on. But I think that, criticism of the actual Crown Keepers portion aside, while you might have lost some of your audience for a Crown Keepers-only episode on the main feed, you would have preserved the drama of FCG's death better and gotten people more excited for the Crown Keepers if you had essentially run things exactly as done here but then just cut the two episodes together, which, as a pre-taped medium, they can now do! Hindsight is again 20-20 but: Run the first half of 92 as is. Break and tape a full Crown Keepers episode. Return to Bells Hells and narrate the message back from Dorian saying he'll be there, play out the rest of Bells Hells in the camp dealing with FCG's death, and then have Dorian arrive at the very end of that episode and end the episode when the party asks him what's been going on with him, then reveal there will be a Crown Keepers episode. Air your full Crown Keepers episode as episode 93, and then return to the main campaign with 94. It would have been better balanced in terms of time, people who wanted the Crown Keepers to return would have gotten hyped up, and people who dislike them or are neutral would have at least known what to expect and frankly if they skip the episode that's their choice to make. Hell, since there were 2 weeks? Could have even been like "hey, we'll do a Crown Keepers Marathon on Twitch and Youtube on some random weekday" to build up some hype!

So overall my answer is that I agree this wasn't a great creative choice. I don't think this means they shouldn't take big swings! But some will be misses and this was, while not an entire miss for me, at best a walk.

[witchynek0]

why I think Ultraman:Rising a one of the better movies in the last months

I watch ALOT of movies, and im not joking, I have alot of free time. and recently I have taken notice that alot of movies, especially animated ones, feel rushed. MAJOR SPOILER ALERT ultra man rising although a long movie, feels really slow. you get to meet Ken Sato. a cocky baseball player, but also; Ultraman! he accidentally picks up a kaiju baby, and is asked to raise it till the baby can go back to its native land, all while fighting the KGB.

ken sato is a cocky baseball player playing for ‘the giants’, with no family, and no friends. he is confident and full of himself, and sure he will make the Giants Great again. all on his own. he doesnt care about his team, and he doesnt care about his reputation. the night of his game he has to work on a Kaiju attack where he saves kaiju baby and takes them to his base. keeping it safe from the KGB, who want to use the baby to find Kaiju Island and kill all Kaiju

i've watched this movie on repeat since it came out, the buildup of the story and the small details and secrets that get revealed as the story progresses keep you guessing and grasping for more. the movie lets you form an attachment to the character, and doesnt rush you by telling you all the ‘lore’ as quickly as possible and then moving on to the problem and how they solve it. 

Ami seems to play a key role in Ken his development, the ‘off the record chat’ seems to open his mind. he asks her how she juggles her job and kid, since he is having a hard time with it. ami says “...they are trying to discover who they are, and what they want. and the only support they have; is us. imperfect messed up us dealing with our own issues. trying to figure out who we are…” 

this strikes ken to free the baby Kaiju, and teaches her Baseball. with trial and error the baby kaiju, named Emi later. explore their bond. safely in the base. the next day when Ken is on a promised follow up interview with Ami, Emi gets out of the base, follows a blip with one of Satos commercials on it. and climbs a tower. ken saves her for falling but breaks her arm in the process and has to ask his dad for help. all of this happens in roughly a hour, see how much that is? how much ive written down about Ken sato and how you got to know him? now this is not all that is shown in the movie, so do watch it if you havent. because this is just the tip of the iceberg. and there is another hour left. 

and in that hour, Emi changes and learns alot. Ken his dad gets more involved. and i havent even mentioned the AI robot that helps ken during this first half of the movie. i dont mention the KGB and their underlying motive. this movie offers so much compared to others ive watched. lets take for example disneys Wish. (dont come at me disney i do still love you) it was fast, i barely got the plot the first time around and i felt rushed and hurried. i watched Wish $ times i still dont really get it. and feel like i havent seen all of the movie. and not just disney, but alot of ‘BIG’ companies lately, have made rushed movies that werent thought through. the story isnt rich and flavourful Pho. but more like a diluted murky beef broth, still good, but less satisfying. the animated movie industry ahs been through some hardship lately, new techniques. and mostly the animators, who work hard for little pay, under alot of stress to make good content cause our attention span doesnt last. and the internet is fast paced. ive made animations, by hand, and its so hard to get it looking good. im here to tell you, Ultraman;Rising is the movie id show people when they ask me “what do you want to do as an animator?” and i say “make something as good as this is.” 

id also like to make it clear that yes, there are good if not better OTHER animated movies, but this is recent and is the best example in the moment.

[justsome-di]

Writeblr Intro

I go by Di, scumbag artist. Self-portrait in bottom right hand corner there.

You can find me here on Tumblr, on Instagram and Threads @ justsomedi, Patreon @ Just Some Di, and AO3 @ justsome_di

If you ever feel like hitting me up, my inbox is always open! I also like talking about my leopard gecko, manga/anime, gay shit, and internet mysteries and lore!

Check out my Carrd for up-to-date info!

I so far have four projects I've been posting about/working on!

Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs (or affectionately shortened to NEUD) is my baby. My favorite child. I love them more than the others.

NEUD is currently up on AO3, Tumblr, and Patreon for free. Bonus short stories featuring the cast are available on Patreon under the paid member tier.

Intro Post: Here

A New York office worker and a sex worker get set up on a date–one thinking it’s a real blind date, the other under the impression it’s an ordinary appointment. After realizing it was all a shitty prank, they set out for revenge. Their plan: show up to an upcoming Halloween office party as a genuine couple, convincing the pranksters they genuinely fell in love and refusing to let themselves become the butt of the joke.

The Fairest of All Stars is currently being posted on AO3, Tumblr, and Patreon. It's a sapphic fantasy! My only fantasy story I've ever tried writing. It's very self-indulgent.

Patreon members are five chapters ahead of what's on AO3 and Tumblr.

WIP Intro: Here

Andy didn’t mean to become a pirate captain, but after killing the captain of her ship, she finds herself thrust into the role. Years after the incident, she is fierce and feared and recovering from a tropical fever that wiped out half her crew. Just as they’re about to dock, they find an injured siren left behind by her choir. Andy, drawn to her, pulls her onto the ship and decides to keep her there until she recovers. But with the Navy hunting for both pirates and sirens, Andy has just made her ship an even bigger target for an iniquitous captain looking for revenge.

On a Few Terms and Conditions is a WIP still very much in its infancy. The summary thus far:

Youngest child of a prominent, political family, Miles was once hailed a boy genius. Valedictorian of his private high school, full ride to study politics in D.C., promising career ahead of him. But by junior year of college he has a major issue: he’s on academic probation. To keep it a secret from his parents and the public eye, he has to secretly find a tutor to get caught up over the summer in order to graduate on time. The solution: Liam, the youngest of another political family who may or may not hate Miles. Throw in some political drama, Miles’ bad habits catching up to him, a little romance, and they’re all in for an interesting summer.

Angel is a project I've been working and re-working over and over again. I'm very, very passionate about it, but the plot is all over the place. There are a few WIP posts up on Tumblr.

WIP Intro: Here

Angel is the youngest member of boy group, NXT. For four years, he's followed every expectation his company has set for him. Diets, dating bans, media training. But after a string of bad publicity and a drinking habit he can't shake, he's gotten a new reputation of being a rebellious bad boy. While NXT is on a summer break, he's told to shape up and get ready for a side solo career that's been perfectly packaged for him. At first, it looks like everything might be okay despite the mounting pressure. And then he meets an indie artist, Eisle. Eisle grows his hair long, paints his nails, kisses boys, and doesn't listen to anyone. And it's all very confusing for Angel who's just trying to keep up with the image his company made for him when he was 15.

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

Alright, my Brotherhood character tier list. There are a few characters I could shuffle back and forth between the lower tiers, but thus is the nature of finding most of the cast to be unseasoned and bland.

A mountain of salt and indifference lays ahead:

First tier: No one should be surprised about my top pick. He's the one character I was absolutely rooting for from start to finish, and WOW did I hate what this narrative puts him through. The way this show takes every opportunity to kick him in the ribs while the war criminal characters are given so much sympathy was a ride (derogatory). The absolute anxiety this anime has around what Scar's character represents is palpable and it sucked so hard. In spite of these massive issues, he still managed to be a rich, layered character, and he was the absolute highlight to what was otherwise a trainwreck of an experience. I nearly dropped this show multiple times, with the scene in the abandoned Briggs town being the one that nearly turned me away completely. There are only two reasons I kept watching: to better articulate my opinions on this adaptation, and because of Scar. If he was removed from the story I would have absolutely ditched this mess. Though the disappointing conclusion to his story, post-Promised Day, as a military collaborator and reformist? Hurts my soul. Scar, babygirl? Sweetheart? You're fantastic and you deserved infinitely better than *Hand waves at the entirety of Brotherhood*

Second tier: I really was quite surprised how much I liked these two! Hohenheim was an actually well written character, he was complex and sympathetic, his arc had an emotional weight to it that the show's writing frankly bungles for the majority of its other characters. A very different character from the version of him I'm familiar with, and I liked this one quite a lot!

As for Mei, I won't lie. When she first got introduced I rolled my eyes, thinking she would fall into the "peppy mascot-adjacent kid who brightens up the dour characters and pays no mind to anything around her" role. And although she does match the archetype to some extent, she doesn't end up hollow. Her zeal for combat, her passion towards saving her clan, the care she shows for others and her unabashed friendship with Scar won me over. I really appreciated that she seemed less concerned with ruling an empire and more with securing the safety of her people. Watching her fight was always a treat too (that choreography, man), though I wasn't remotely invested in the romance angle presented with her and the Elrics.

Third Tier: An odd grab-bag of characters that I still liked enough, but on a comparatively superficial level. Izumi was cool but (like half of the Brotherhood cast) was often played up more for comedy relief when she wasn't doling out beatdowns (and often the comedy was because she's such a powerhouse). There wasn't enough here for me to be more invested in her than I would prefer.

Scar's brother is a brief glimpse of a character in any version of fma, so it's not like he has much of an opportunity to shine on his own versus what he provides for the plot. Still, I like him well enough. Too bad he's the "positivity even in the face of imperial aggression" guy, as a key antithesis to what Scar symbolizes pre-reformism.

Greed's effortlessly cool, and although I can appreciate that this time around he has an ongoing role in the story versus FMA 03, I wasn't won over by his particular arc. I can see what Arakawa & co were going for regarding themes of community, and Greed is a big part of that contrast against the other isolationist and war-mongering homunculi, but I'm gonna be real here: the "power of friendship" story is not something I come to fma for. (Jokes on me, that was pretty much what the manga and its direct adaptation are all about.) It can be done with some gravitas, but it felt more... Juvenile, simplistic. Still, I liked the "greed doesn't need to be a bad characteristic" bit, regarding the desire for other people in your life. That's about as interesting as it got for me.

Yeah, McDougal is more a vehicle to kickstart the show than he is a character. And yeah, he's an example of how this show regards radical actions against the state without working within said state. But I'm always gonna stan any character that seeks to destroy the seat of power in an empire, even if that character is meant to be an anti-radical strawman. So fuck you, Brotherhood, McDougal was right. He was the single Amestrian war criminal who actually took the correct actions against the institution he once served: he abandoned it instead of reaping the class benefits from its rampant bloodshed (y'know, unlike our "valiant" heroes, Mustang et al), worked to destroy it, and nearly accomplished exactly that.

Paninya! What can I say, I like Paninya. She's clever, fleet of foot, sweet as can be, and a solid fighter too. What's not to love? No version of fma provides enough Paninya content, and that's a bummer. Also, stfu Winry with your "stop stealing" crap. Damn.

Here's where we start to get controversial. The fourth tier:

I know Ling's a core character. I know he's a fan favourite. I know he's meant to be a paragon on what a "righteous ruler" ought to be. I can't yawn hard enough. I don't hate the guy, and he's got enough entertaining moments for me to mostly provide a polite shrug if asked for my overall opinion on this character. But man, the amount of "the system can be good, we just need good rulers/soldiers" that comes packaged with his character arc and its attending themes gives me critical organ failure.

Winry. Oh, Winry. As much as I like having more screentime for her, I just. Ugh. I really dislike how she got written into being the heartbroken white girl who rises above hatred and revenge, as though she is the ultimate victim of the Amestrian genocide of the Ishvalans. She "breaks the cycle" (ugh) because "her hands weren't meant to kill" (ugghhhhhhhhhh). She's still a headstrong, passionate character, skilled in a complex trade, and overall a kind person. I like that about her! But fuckin' YEESH with that brazen ploy to make Scar look less justified in his actions by throwing the Rockbells and Winry into his backstory and ongoing arc. Like Ed, she exists to be Broho's "moral" backbone, which ruins any potential for complex interiority. Also, I don't care about the good-little-future-wife shtick either. I appreciate that she remains an automail mechanic even after starting a family, but I'm bored to tears that this was the ultimate payoff to her narrative.

On paper, Truth and the character-specific Gates are interesting concepts. In execution, Brotherhood manages to render Truth into a rather goofy entity who happens to dole out consequences for alchemic taboos. And my bias is that fma 03's non-personified Truth-as-concept and a Gate that is wholly indifferent to human suffering, and wholly unsolvable > a personified Truth with a circus theme, cracking jokes while waiting for you to solve their grand Riddle.

So I'm putting Greedling as a separate entry from Greed and Ling 1) because he's a different enough character from both while still serving as a vehicle for both of their arcs, and 2) because WOW was I disappointed with the entire twist of Father 'granting' Ling his wish, monkey's paw style. And my disappointment stems largely from the fact that Ling maintains himself. Like. This body snatching ends with a teary friendship speech, Ling getting his body back intact, a philosopher stone, and his seat as the new emperor of Xing. Greedling, as an amalgamated character, never properly feels like a combination of the two, nor does he come with any real downsides or repercussions for Ling (for Greed, the mind reset from being liquidated is where he suffers tragedy, not from being given possession over a human being's body). Oh no, Ling has become Greed! Now he gets to argue with his new homunculus pal in the interim between this minor setback (where he's become physically stronger btw) and getting everything he wanted! Riveting.

Fifth tier: I won't go into every character on the average tier. I don't dislike them, I'm mostly neutral to em. They're fine. Sid, Pinako, Madame Christmas, Trisha, and Sciezka could all stand to be more fleshed out. I have a soft spot for Pinako, and I love the concept of Madame Christmas (the head mistress of a brothel who helps undermine the state? And a grade A hot older, larger woman who isn't designed to hide her age and stature? Hell yeah!) Sciezka's fun for the one episode we see her, but she's just a one-off, unlike her 03 counterpart. Shame. And the kids are cute and inoffensive, and Gracia's there too.

Sixth tier: Brotherhood's famously bloated cast will inevitably have characters that, much like the previous tier, are average due to having very little meat on the bones character- and plot-wise, or whose presence don't ultimately add or detract from the story, BUT! The dedication from those fans who see something more to those characters can really enhance my appreciation for what would otherwise be more additions to the average tier for me. Shoutout to Manfred (of Funny Bido Comics fame) for his lovely comics and artwork centering the Devil's Nest cast. At least now I can look at these guys and fondly think "Fuckin' sweet". As for the military chimera dudes, I wish there was more to them in-canon for me to better enjoy what they could have added to the cast, but while watching Brotherhood it felt like a lot of bloat. Still, charming fanart has managed to make me look at them a bit more favourably. (I should have put this tier above the basal Average tier, but I'm a fool and a charlatan, so.)

Seventh tier: Critters! Not much else to this one. They don't really count as characters per say (Xiao Mei being the closest one I could call a character, kinda), but hey, they're cute. To be honest, this tier should exist outside of the hierarchy since they don't really fall above or below most of the tiers, barring the top and bottom 3.

Eighth tier: The "both sides!" clutch that Brotherhood rests so much of its goddamned weight upon. Great that they helped wounded Ishvalans! Shit that they're not really characters, they're just perfect white martyrs for Winry's and Ed's character arcs, and a repeated shitfest for Scar's arc. Not all Amestrians, but definitely all Ishvalan rebels, amirite Arakawa?

Ninth tier: Compelling is perhaps a strong word here. They could have been compelling. Father, in Brotherhood's vacuum, could be an antagonist rife with symbolism and pathos. The attempt is there. But instead he ultimately feels more like a cardboard cutout that acts as the RPG final big bad. Bradley and Pride are at least more interesting as characters, and I felt Bradley being a human long possessed by the Wrath homunculus worked far better as a concept over Greedling. Overall the Brotherhood homunculi are flat tires, and as I said in the tier name, they're meant to exonerate the military apparatus by being the core problem with it. (Anyone else notice how much more sympathy the narrative gives King Fuhrer Bradley over Scar? He has a WIFE you know. Isn't he so soft? Man, what a good show /s)

Tenth tier: Easily forgettable. I don't even have anything unique to say about most of them. What I can say is: I wish I liked Lan Fan, Barry and Gluttony are whatever, I don't feel pity for the genocidal dictator's wife, and Sloth was a soggy wet fart.

Eleventh tier: The "you are all so thoroughly overshadowed by your 03 counterparts that I can't feel anything but a numb indifference or disillusionment for these versions" tier.

Al just. Feels too prim and quiet here. He disappears in the backdrop of 400 characters vying for screentime once you hit the halfway point of this show and he hardly re-emerges from that point onwards. Even when we switch back to his side of the journey he's overshadowed by everyone around him. Him meeting his dad in Liore, being puppeteered by Pride and his subsequent mutual entrapment with Pride seems to be all I can recall about Al after splitting from Ed in Briggs (until the final showdown with Twink Father). Characterization feels so flat, especially since I've got years of 03 Al lodged in my brain, and that version is just phenomenally written. Sorry but Broho Al inspires nothing for me, and he doesn't leave 03 Al's shadow one bit.

White Rose haunts my nightmares. And having her gush about how grateful she is for Ed showing her "ignorant" ass the True Way Forward (even with the decimation of Liore) with Winry (while the audience gets to ogle Winry taking a bath lmfao) was just. 😐

Calling Brotherhood Rick a "flash in the pan character" would be an overestimation of his extremely brief presence here. I forgot he was even in this show. F

Maria Ross may not necessarily be the most done-dirty of all the mutual characters across the two fma anime, but man, she just doesn't hit the same high notes as 03 Ross. Brotherhood did manage to get me worked up when I thought Mustang had murdered her, but after that was cleared up, she gets bookmarked until she can return as just a cog for the coup to commence. Sure she had this important role in-universe, but overall her actual impact on the core characters and the broader story was negligible. I get it, she's simply not supposed to be That Character in this version (much like Broho Sciezka vs 03 Sciezka). It just sucks seeing her be more formal and uninvolved with the Elrics, unlike her bond with them in the first anime which really made her shine. As it stands, Envy taking on her form to kill Hughes felt like her most memorable contribution to this story lol

WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO YOU, LUST?! OMFG WHY?? I still can't believe this version of her exists. Holy shit, I was not prepared to be so thoroughly rocked by how badly this character was going to be handled. She was nothing more than a sexy henchman with a D Plot about a feigned "relationship" with Havoc (which was a steaming load of nothing btw, since we only see this for one scene that lasts, what, a few seconds?) We get a joke about how much Havoc can't resist her massive titties, replete with water sloshing sound effects and anime jiggle physics, and then she fails to kill a pair of idiots which leads to her getting flambeed to death. All while being horny for Mustang's declaration of Immense Rippling Manhood with strong undercurrents of Monogamous Codependent Dedication for Riza. Just. What the fuck. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the actual fu-

Twelfth tier: Fuck these guys. Love how much screentime the characters I beloathed got. Truly stupendous. I don't hate them all equally, but my dislike was palpable every time any of these assholes were on screen. And keep in mind, I hate them most for what they are for the themes, conclusions, and plot of the show far more than merely how I perceive them as individual characters (which doesn't completely eclipse the fact that I also don't like them as characters either lol).

Miles: One of Arakawa's many mouthpieces for her great takes on reforming a racist institution and why radical violent retaliation against an imperial giant is WrongBad. Make the genociders more diverse! "Did ya ever think of JOINING the military so you can CHANGE MINDS in the boonies at a military base on a border with another empire we're warring with, huh Scar? What were you doing while the military was genociding you and our people in Ishval, hm? Why did you fight back instead of making more gains for this monstrous apparatus? Shoulda signed up to be a pig instead of getting blown up, idiot." -Miles

This Ed is a fucking travesty. I cannot believe the monumental poor taste of the fma fandom for seeing this Ed as a better written, more human, worthwhile character than the 2003 version. It's inconceivable! This pompous, chauvinist racist is your guy? He becomes a meat-headed comedy relief character post-Briggs/pre-coup, which is great because I already couldn't take this version of him seriously. You'd think I'd have more to say, but honestly? 03 Edward Elric already exists. Therefore this jackass is fully irrelevant to me.

I waffled between putting Buccaneer in either the 10th tier (Literally Who Cares) or this one, and I thought "Y'know what? If the other core Briggs cunts are in the 12th tier, then why not keep the loyal squad together?" Piglet, nothing more to add.

The fact that the conclusion to Alex Armstrong's character arc was apologizing to his frothing nationalist sister for not doing enough genocide at his country's behest lands this coward here. A coward not for making a (meagre, failed) attempt at saving some Ishvalans, but for being a sniveling aristocratic boot-boy with no principles to compel him to turn away from the source of his family's generational wealth.

Cornello was an inept clown here. An easy "Literal Who" in this version, but hey he still exploits the Liorans for his own gain. With nothing else to his character or place in the story (which is arguably quite redundant given Brotherhood's handling of the timeline of events), the bin is the only place for him.

Shou Tucker. He's a monster, we all hate him, and yet he still committed markedly fewer atrocities, including against children, than any one of your military faves.

Overrated trash Olivier, the peak patriotic liberal wet dream. She's a top-cop who girlbossed her way to a male-dominated field (warmongering and genocide! But "feminist™")! She spouts pseudo-progressive (progressive if you squint and don't have standards) rhetoric while supporting her nation's imperialist agenda! (Optics>material actions, just how libs love it.) She has no qualms with ethnic cleansing but she doesn't see colour, so obviously she's a 'badass' babe who can dommy-mommy you whenever she even deigns to look your way! But she also has a heart of gold, because she cares about the porkchops under her command soooooooooo much! Wow! 🤢🤮

Riza, everyone's waifu (Mustang's, the show's, and yours too). Super cool how Roy committing genocide wasn't a good enough reason to blow his skull into chunks the way she claimed she would if he ever used her father's flame alchemy for ill. Love that she even joined the military so she could gain that sweet, sweet angsty backstory with her main squeeze while slaughtering hundreds of thousands of brown people. She regretted it so much as the carnage was being carried out that she made sure to do an amazing job of sniping Ishvalans! Because she's conflicted and nuanced.

Pfft. Mustang. Refer to the above. And what gets me is, yeah. He (and Riza) are written to be as charming and lovable as possible. They're both practically the unofficial main duo of this show. And I can't stomach these clowns. Love that nepotism will ensure he gets to be fuhrer of Amestris once Riza's grandpappy kicks the bucket. Btw cool eyesight bro, how many alchemically murdered Ishvalans did it cost? :))))))))))))

Guys guys guys, Hughes! He's the best! He'll sign up to murder as many Ishvalan families as it takes to keep his own (at the time hypothetical) family safe (in the militarily dominant imperium for which they were never once in any danger from the ethnically different occupied country)! Good thing Brotherhood and the manga both RESPECT Hughes, unlike the 2003 anime's movie, which made him a racist pro-genocide jerk!

I don't even remember this guy's name. Genocide doctor one.

And genocide doctor two. Marcoh makes up for his unforgivable actions of making philosopher stones out of Ishvalans for the Amestrian government by giving a philosopher stone made out of Ishvalans to the future head of the Amestrian government.

Hey, does anyone recall that scene where Grumman practically Evil Monologues to himself about his chance to snatch the Fuhrership once Bradley is deposed, so that he can run the military dictatorship? No? No one? Not gonna talk about it? Not even the fact that he got exactly what he wanted? Hello?

Envy could have easily been in the tier with Bradley, Pride, and Father, or even the tier with Al, Lust, etc. But the weird pathetic shtick during his demise, where Ed makes a grand speech about how tragic Envy is, after everyone (including Scar because we gotta highlight how ~reformed~ he is) stops Mustang from killing them, and we're meant to sniffle along to the super sad 'nuance' of this character like??? Nah. Super funny how Riza then thanks Scar for making a pacifist speech at Mustang because he helped stop Mustang from "needlessly" killing Envy, when she herself failed to do exactly that in Ishval AND while staining her hands in the blood of innocents. And Ed feeling so much heartrending empathy for Envy, despite Envy having tried to kill him numerous times, they tried to kill his friends and allies, and they had murdered scores of human beings prior to all that. Yet mere moments earlier Ed was offended that Mustang and Riza had him team up with Scar. ... .... .... ....Did I mention how fucking badly this show treats Scar? So anyway I can't feel anything but disdain for this version of Envy, as yet another key point of Brotherhood's oozing hypocrisy.

Only good thing Olivier ever did was kill this guy and bury him in cement. She shoulda jumped in too. What was his name? Raven? Bah, who cares. Obviously screw him and the entire council of politicians surrounding Bradley.

Genocide doctor three.

Kimblee's a no-brainer, he's a proud fascist through-and-through. But you all know he was right about how naive and stupid Riza, Roy, and all the other idealist soldiers were for thinking their job, as a SOLDIER, was anything other than carrying out the orders of their superiors with the utmost violence. Like. You know he's correct about that, and only that, right? Because apparently even Arakawa didn't think he was right about that particular truth either, what with the Good Cop vs Bad Apples bent to her manga. Yeah so anyway, why the hell did we get a "Fuck yeah, humans rock!" speech from this pus-spewing sack of garbage, in support of Ed, after he had been eaten by Pride? Why did we get a friendship speech from fucking Kimblee?!

Disclaimer: Do I think anyone who likes or dislikes the characters I like/dislike are evil? No. Do I think anyone who likes Brotherhood (or the manga for that matter) are evil? No. Do I hate this show? ✨Yes, absolutely.✨

[hydrate-or-diedrate]

Day 11 of reading homestuck wahoo yippee

Just for fun, I did some doodles during class uwu

Karkat is literally the crybabyest of all the characters so far its adorable. Hes cried like 3 or 4 times now I think and the only other character to have cried on screen did it once lol. Too many feelings for his liddol body so he gets rid of them by yelling <3

My friend was making fun of me earlier because she witnessed me getting a new blorbo in real time x)

Anyway onto reading

Ughhhhhh hi Scratch

Is this scratched CD gag Andrew's way of saying act 5 act 2 was going on for too long/he got tired of writing it normally, or is this concept plot important lol

Not to be a Vriska hater but YEAH TEREZI BEAT HER UP

This truly is fuckin kill murder dead town right now

Goddammit Terezi, I believed in you. I still love and adore you but 😔

And then Rose is trying to take out Jack which I assume will not go well

Scratch what the hell does "8^y" mean? 8 to the power of y, with y being a variable? Or is it just a silly little face? TF

Shut the fuck up Scratch, John's jokes are great

NO SCRATCH YOU DONT GET TO CASUALLY GLOSS OVER THE TROLL'S HIDEOUT BEING DESTROYED I NEED TO MOURN THEM

I LITERALLY JUST GOT THOSE BLORBOS, DAMMIT 😭

Oh okay, so it's 8^y is just 8⁸..?

Woah okay that's quite a few sparkles. Idk man, gotta be at least 12

Okay Vriska go off, get his ass

Okay Scratch it seems you might be suggesting that this (the timeline in which half my blorbos killed either themselves or eachother) is not the alpha timeline

YEAH TEREZI I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT

AJJDGDJKDV KARKAT JUST IN THE BACKGROUND SCARED SHITLESS

Nice dress, Kanaya

GO AWAY GAMZEE

Yeah yeah we get it you're a God or whatever

Vriska stop being so desperate omg

SLICK FFS

Okay Scratch I can respect the beatdown

Hoooooooh boy, hi Karkat :(

And bye bye Gamzee, I see that blood on Karkat's face

Okay so Rose stole the suicide mission, so I'm assuming she's confirmed dead until proven otherwise

Oh? Or not?

Okay, John giving Vriska(dead) a tour is kinda cute

Oh? New denizens lore?

Okay wow there's a lot of these scrapbook pictures to look through

DAVE YOU FUCKHEAD YOU PROMISED

Aww, it's the John that died at the denizen

Dead John talked to Typheus? 👀👀👀

Oh I don't like this hopping around

Uh oh y'all, CueBall is in the backrooms

Wow (past) Gamzee just casually suggesting making out like that's not a big thing for (past) Tavros

Karkat is so mean to himself, poor guy :(

Oh gosh fucked up Gamzee is back

Okay Gamzee so are you saying it's actually YOUR fault?

Okay and now ancestor lore? I really need to make a new reblog before I manage to lose all the stuff I already typed

[mikhailwrites]

Serpent's Coil - Ch4 Preview

We'll be taking a closer look at Makarov, because i believe that every villain should have a story to tell. So, in the first half of the chapter, we're in Russia in 1996, several years after the collapse of the Soviet Union. The second half progresses the plot further. The game is on.

Vladimir sits on the couch next to his dad, watching the telly but not paying attention to it. He doesn’t say anything but doesn’t have to; his father catches up on his sour mood nonetheless. “What’s the matter?”

Vladimir shakes his head, pretending to watch the screen.

“Don’t do that, Volodya,” the father sighs, putting a hand on his son’s shoulder, “don’t bottle it up.”

“It’s just…,” Vladimir starts, wincing at how broken he sounds and turning his head away so his father doesn’t see the tears brimming in his eyes, “why won’t anyone help us?”

“Everyone has their own troubles, Volodya, and even if they didn’t… that’s how life is. You’re lucky if your own family cares for you enough to help you. Other than that… we’re alone. Always were and always will be. Remember, son, you gotta take care of yourself because no one else will.”

The boy nods, trying to rein in the shiver. Involuntarily, his eyes stray to the bedroom door. Why can’t she just get better? If she did, everything would be alright. Everything would be as it used to be. Only it wouldn’t. Too much has changed. Not just his mother falling ill but the whole country.

The news is on the TV. Showing the same crap every day. It looks like other people are happy. As far as Poland, as near as Moscow. Even years after the Union collapsed, people still seem drunk on this so-called freedom, especially in the form of t-shirts with Mickey Mouse or queues for the latest American movie.  All those smiling faces, people with bags full of bananas and oranges, as if that’s all they ever wanted and needed. Vladimir balls his hands into fists.

For him and his family, everything changed for the worse. First, it was his mum’s health, and then his father was let go, as he was deemed unfit for a bureaucrat, even though he was never too invested in politics. They sold the suits and bought worker clothes, much more fitting for a welder. That was also when their financial trouble began. All because of things they had no control over and no say in. Vladimir feels the anger rise in him. It’s not fair!

Vladimir frowns as he hears people talk excitedly about elections now. It’s a fucking joke, is what it is. Empty promises and cheap tricks to keep the people’s minds off the hard truth. Half of the country has been stolen, and the other half is on its last leg. It’s not just Vladimir and his family; he knows, and it fills him with blind rage and utter helplessness.