#its fine tommy gives them to him later

[py6oto]

i did more, actually !!! i just wanted to put them in a separate post because.

Because.

You understand.

oh yeah um Betrayal and Clones. Yup. i wanted to sprinkle some prototypes in there too because i feel like we need to bring more attention to the fact that there are two old men in the science team and both of them have various defective versions of themselves walking around. what is that.

2023.10.27

[kinardsevan]

𝐢'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

listen. i'm still so convinced it's Tommy up on that crane in 807 that my brain keeps writing scenes 😂😂😂😂 so have this:

"Buck, you need to-"

He can't hear Bobby's words as he races up the ladder, panic rising faster and faster in his chest.

"Hey no no no no no!" He yells, throwing himself over the side. His hands grasp tight around Tommy's. "Stop stop stop! Please!" The words are coming out of him in sobs, but large hands grip around his wrists and a moment later, the older man tilts his head up and his eyes lock with Evan's.

"Ev-..." He cuts himself off, his voice wobbly and raspy from his current predicament.

"Just stop," Evan replies, snuffling as tears run down his face. "Stop moving, stop- just stop."

"Ok," Tommy replies, his voice weary as his fingers tighten around Evan's wrists that much more. The blonde glances up toward Chimney on the opposite crane. He's still working to get the harness unstuck, but apparently only having mild success with it.

"My legs are numb," Tommy states, blinking slowly. Chim looks up at them.

"Fuck this. I'm going to cut him down. The 217 can get the line fixed," Chimney states before heading back down the ladder in quick succession. "I need bolt cutters!"

"Evan," Tommy rasps. His hands are sweaty now, hanging onto the other man's arms.

"No," Evan replies, his voice tinged with anger now. "You have to hang on."

"You have to let go," Tommy counters to him, his voice exhausted. "Evan-" His grip slips on Evan's arm, and beneath them there's scrambling to get the inflatable placed properly. He glances over at the other crane as Chimney finishes reascending it.

"I can't," Evan replies, his own voice strained as he grips onto Tommy's arm with both hands now. "Fuck, Tommy, I can't."

"Why not," he asks wearily.

"Because!" Evan yells at him. Several tears fall off his face in quick succession, one landing on Tommy's own face as it continues its descent downward.

Somehow, even from beneath him, even with most of his blood volume hanging out in the lower half of his body with no way to make it circulate properly, Tommy manages to give him that look, the one that says he's really paying attention.

"Evan." He says it like it's Evan who needs to be talked off the ledge, like he's the one hanging in the middle of the air being held up by a crane.

"You don't get to give up now," Evan growls at him. "You already did that to me once this week."

"Are we really talking about this now," Tommy asks him. His fingers slip a few millimeters, but Evan curls his hand tight under Tommy's elbow, trying to pull him up.

"Seems as good a time as any," he replies. A humorless laugh slips out of him.

"I've almost got it," Chimney calls from the other crane.

Evan gulps. "It was too much, too fast," he states. "Asking you to move in. I s-said things that made it sound like I wasn't invested-.."

"It's fine," Tommy replies, sounding mildly exasperated.

"No its not," Evan argues, squeezing tighter on Tommy's arm. "it's not. Because it made me sound like I was asking you to move in because it's the easy option, like I wanted you to stay without any consideration of what your life looks like outside of what we are. Or were."

Tommy stares up at him, still blinking slow and long. Evan pulls his arm up inches higher, trying to take more of the weight off of his lower body.

"But it's not that," he says, sniffling again. "I lept before thinking, a-and made it into a thing that it wasn't and has never been." He sniffles again. "I didn't ask you to move in because I wanted to be impulsive. I said it because I want a life with you, a-and I was afraid to own that and what that means for me." He pauses and gulps, lets out a breath. "I was so pissed at you for breaking up with me, a-and you were doing the same thing I did. You were protecting yourself." Tommy stares up at him, eyebrows quirked slightly in confusion.

"I thought if I didn't say it, it was safer, that we-..." He shakes his head at himself as he feels the tension pulling Tommy back toward Chimney starting to wane as the bolt cutters work through the metal. "But I also want the whole damn thing with you. I'm not in it because it's easy, or because you were the first man to kiss me. I'm in it because I'm in love with you."

Tommy stares up at him still, giving him that damn look again, and the slack goes looser, his weight becoming even heavier on Evan's arms.

"I love you," he repeats. "I love you so damn much."

Tommy grants him a weary smile. "I love you too, Evan."

His weight falls entirely on Evan then, and both of their arms jerk out straight, Evan leaned roughly over the crane as he tries to keep holding on.

"Evan, let go," Tommy tells him.

"Please," Evan begs him, and he's not even entirely sure what it is he's begging for. "Tommy-.."

"I love you too," he repeats. "But you have to let go."

Evan gulps, forces a breath in, forces his tunnel vision to open up, and realizes the inflatable is ready and will catch Tommy. "I'll meet you at the bottom."

"Sounds good," Tommy rasps. And then, against everything that tells him he should, Evan lets go, watching as Tommy drops the 30 feet onto the inflatable crash pad. As soon as his body hits, Evan is already double-timing his way down the ladder. He makes it down in what he's sure is record time, running past everyone else to get to Tommy's side. Hen already has him on a stretcher, attached to a dozen leads and assessing his legs.

"Risk of compartment syndrome," she states. "Likely dislocation of the left hip. He needs x-rays and we need to go."

"I'm going with," Evan announces, refusing to hear reason to any other option. His hand is tight in Tommy's as soon as he's next to him, his other hand combing down the other man's hair as he stares down into those blue eyes. They're already brighter from his circulation picking back up. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

"Good lord just kiss the man already," Gerrard calls from the back of the crowd. Evan whips his head around and Tommy leans up off he gurney, both of them giving the old grump a shocked expression.

"What?" He asks. He has that grumpy look on his face once more, like he still thinks that their lifestyle is beneath him (at the very least). "We all know it's what you're thinking. I just said it."

Evan turns back toward Tommy, and the blue eyes meet.

"My boyfriend's sister once said there better ways to get someone's attention than this," Tommy says. Evan lets out a laugh, color flushing through his cheeks at the dignification of boyfriend. He curls two fingers under Tommy's chin and kisses him, both of them ignorant of the whooping and hollering happening around them.

"Like that," he whispers when they finally part, pressing his forehead into Tommy's. Tommy has a hand fisted around Evan's shirt, keeping him close.

"Yeah, that works," he whispers back. "I love you, too, Evan. I love you, too."

[al-the-remix]

BuckTommy Positivity Week Day 4: hobbies and dates

a dirt biking date for @bucktommypositivityweek day four! 🏍

(Something, something, I have a lot of feelings about Buck finally having someone who trusts him to be himself, even when he's reckless and impulsive. It's an important facet of the Evan Buckley Experience. Anyway, this only sort of brushes the surface of that.)

So maybe taking Evan out on the trails had been a little self-serving…but Tommy had always been a sucker for a man straddling a dirt bike. In his experience, all men looked better with a little mud on them. It was one of those fixations that had started early, sinking its teeth into his lizard-brain like a dog and refusing to be shaken off.  

And maybe he hadn’t been prepared for just how good Evan would look, all adrenalin-flushed and wind-chafed, his curls unglued from their standard gel and plastered to his forehead with helmet-sweat. Unlike some of his previous boyfriends, Evan actually knew how to ride a motorcycle; the competence was both incredibly hot and had presented its own issues...

Road biking and dirt biking weren’t the same, but Evan’s eyes had gotten big and dish-saucer like when he’d seen the bikes hanging from the ceiling in Tommy's garage. Not long after he had been hovering over Tommy’s shoulder as Tommy had showed him maps of off road trails on his iPad, pointing out the ones he had thought looked nice.

“That one,” Evan had said, indicating a trail marked Difficult. “It’s got a great look out.”

Tommy had raised a brow. “Are you sure you don’t want to take it easy for your first time?”

Evan had snorted out a laugh in his ear. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Right, I forgot who I was talking to…” he’d teased and Evan had elbowed him playfully. “Alright, Bud Ekins, advanced it is.”

In his experience Evan Buckley wasn’t a man who needed training wheels or kid gloves; and watching him tear away on one of Tommy’s bikes onto the forest trail was just another, very literal instance of Evan revving the gas and leaving Tommy in the dust. It was thrilling on some level. It had been a long time since Tommy felt challenged in a relationship in positive ways, he hadn’t realized till meeting Evan how stuck in a rut (ha) his dating life had been for a while now. 

It was all going very smoothly until it wasn’t. It only took a split second for Evan’s bike to spin out and disappear into a ditch. Tommy swore, pulling into a sliding stop. 

“Wait! Wait, don’t move!” he called, jogging over to where Evan lay flat on his back, looking a little stunned. At least all his limbs were laying at the correct angles. 

He slid down the bank on his heels, coming to kneel at Evan’ side. “Did you land on a rock or anything?” He ripped his gloves back to feel around Evan’s neck.

“I’m fine,” he groaned as he reached for his helmet. “You wrapped me up in enough protective gear you could FedEx me cross country.”

“Well, you’re a very important package,” Tommy quipped, finally allowing Evan to sit up.

Evan rolled his eyes huffing out a laugh. He didn’t look too banged up, but Tommy still felt compelled to ask: “How does your head feel? We should go to the hospital if you think you could have a concussion.”

“Do you really want to spend the rest of our day off in the ER?” Evan challenged.

“I’d be more than happy to, if needed.”

Evan’s eyes skated down and away as he visibly swallowed. “Seriously, I’ve broken enough bones and sprained enough joints to recognize it when it happens. I’m good.”

Tommy didn’t exactly feel great about that, but he wasn’t about to force Evan to do anything he didn’t want to. He knew his body well. 

“And you’d let me know if you did?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Tommy said, giving Evan a hand pulling his bike back out of the ditch. “You think you can get yourself back? I can give you a ride and get the bike out later if you want.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Evan said, tightening his neck guard back up. 

“We’ll go slow.”

When they made it back to the parking lot Tommy got Evan situated on the tailgate of his truck and went to forage for his first aid kit buried under other junk in the backseat footwell. 

Evan was peeling his chest protector off with a grimace when Tommy returned. “I don’t think I had enough skin showing to get any scraps, mostly what’s bruised is my ego,” Evan said, a little sheepishly as Tommy settled in between his knees. 

“Let me check for my own peace of mind.”

He helped peel the long sleeve over Evan’s head, who sat surprisingly patiently as Tommy gave him the once over. His skin was flushed and a little bruised but all together nothing too serious, and maybe Tommy lingered just a little longer than necessary, running his hands up along Evan's arms and over the broad curve of his shoulders. 

“Ah, I see, this was just an excuse to feel me up the whole time,” Evan drawled when he realized what Tommy was up to.

“You caught me,” Tommy said, slipping deeper between Evan’s legs. 

Admittedly Evan had been correct, and he’d be sore and stiff tomorrow, but no worse off. The only broken skin was a small scrape on his arm where his sleeve had rolled up, and Tommy took his time dressing it even though it wasn’t bleeding. 

“You know, Maddie used to do this for me all the time,” Evan said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over them. “I was always getting myself into some kind of predicament.”

Tommy hummed. “No wonder she's such a good nurse, she had a good patient to practice on.”

“I’m not sure she’d agree,” Evan said, his laugh edging on self-concious. 

“I think she would,” Tommy said and pressed a kiss to the bandaid for good measure. “There, as good as new.”

“Well, I still feel a little embarrassed,” Evan admitted as he hopped off the tailgate with a groan and hobbled around so he could lean himself against the side of the truck. “It's way harder to put the moves on you with a limp.”

“I wasn't aware I was being wooed,” Tommy said as he began setting up the ramp.

“You're always being wooed, trust me,” Evan drawlled, gaze skating the length of Tommy’s body as he pushed the first bike up into the bed.

Tommy paused, catching Evan’s eyes where he stood, looking down at him. He knew with Evan his life would never be boring, but instead of being intimidating, the prospect was a comforting one. He knew that he’d never have to worry about where Evan was coming from or if he wanted Tommy as badly as Tommy wanted him. Evan, who was intense and passionate and sincere, someone Tommy could get into trouble with and he knew would still be at his side when they had to dig their way back out. 

He trusted Evan to be himself: one of the strongest people Tommy knew.

 “I do,” Tommy said, with more weight in his words than he was really intending. "Trust you.

Evan’s expression turned a bit startled, then softened. “Thank you.”

[buck-up-buck]

Tommy pushed the door open and helped Evan into his loft, holding the majority of his weight, a pharmacy bag hanging loosely at his other side.

"Easy, nice and slow." He kicked the door closed behind them, dropping the bag to the floor and stopping so Evan could catch his breath. The trip from the car up to the fourth floor had taken its toll on him, his breath coming out in short pants against Tommy's neck. "Couch, or bed?"

"Couch is fine." He huffed out, closing his eyes for a second before nodding, showing Tommy he was ready to start moving again.

"All your weight on me, okay?" They carried on the same way until they finally reached the couch, Tommy lowering Evan down slowly, making sure to keep his bad leg off the ground. Once he was sat down, he grabbed two of the cushions from the arm chair so that Evan could elevate his leg.

"Thank you." Evan sighed heavily, leaning his head back as he tried to get his breathing back under control, Tommy taking this time to head to the kitchen. Maddie had texted him before he picked Evan up from the hospital to let him know she had stocked his fridge and cupboards, so they should be good for a few days. He knew Evan was just about due another round of painkillers, so he grabbed an electrolyte drink from the fridge and then ran to the entryway, picking the bag up and depositing it on the kitchen side.

He chose for the time being to put aside the burn ointment, knowing he would need to redress Evan's bandages later on, but would wait until his pain had subsided some and he had at least had a nap. Taking out two painkillers, he headed back to Evan and knelt down next to his head, watching as he turned his head to the side, sending Tommy a small smile.

"Hi." He whispered, Tommy's heart fluttering.

"Hey. I have your painkillers and a drink for you." Placing a kiss on Evan's forehead, Tommy helped him sit up, leaving him to take the pills while he reached over the back of the couch for Evan's large throw blanket, draping it over his frame. "You should get some rest." Evan nodded and took one last swig of his drink before screwing the lid on and popping the bottle on the coffee table, staring up at Tommy who was standing at his head, arms hovering as if wanting to reach out and say something.

Buck knew he probably had somewhere to be, and was just making sure he didn't need anything else before he headed out for the night, but Buck was a pro at tending to his own injuries alone.

This, unfortunately, was not his first rodeo.

"I'm good Tommy, you can go if you need to."

"What? You want me to leave?" The frown on Tommy's face was adorable. Buck had grown to love kissing away his frown lines, using his mouth to literally turn his frown upside down.

"I mean, no, of course I don't want you to leave, but I'm home now. You don't have to hover, I'm more than capable of handling the rest on my own." Tommy crouched down near Buck's head and he chose now to pout, tilting his head up to try and catch Tommy's lips, but the man didn't move any closer, staying at arms length away from Buck which just would not do. "Babe seriously, I'm fine, but I won't be fine if you don't at least give me a kiss goodbye."

"I'm not giving you a kiss goodbye, Evan, because I am not going anywhere." Now it was Buck's turn to frown, his pout dropping off his face. "You really think I would just drop you off here and then head out for the night? You've just spent three days in the hospital, I'm not going anywhere unless you choose to kick me out your front door yourself."

"But- I'm fine?" His response came out as more of a question than a statement. Buck wasn't fine, he knew that. He had some pretty nasty burns, on his bad leg as well, and would probably be in a decent amount of pain for a while, but he was home now, and that was a start. He wasn't about to let Tommy waste away while he got better, Tommy didn't sign up for that. "You didn't sign up to be stuck looking after me, Tommy."

"And you didn't sign up for a crazy guy trapping you in a burning building, Evan"

"He wasn't crazy."

"Oh no, he was most definitely crazy." This got a laugh out of Evan, Tommy leaning forward to kiss his smile, before pulling back with a raised eyebrow. "Seriously Evan. I know we didn't sign up for any of this, but I am not going anywhere. We are on this recovery train together."

"So, me being injured on the job doesn't freak you out?"

"No more so than being injured in my own line of work does. It happens, but it doesn't mean you have to deal with it on your own." Oh, and if the heartbrokenly relieved look on Evan's face didn't shatter Tommy's heart. "Like I said, I am not going anywhere. Now, close your eyes, get some rest, and I will still be here when you wake up." Sniffling, Evan nodded, allowing himself to sink further into the couch, the soft sound of Tommy's breathing next to him lulling him to sleep.

@whollyjoly talking about parallels earlier inspired this so, enjoy!

[dadvans]

Pls tell us more about pregnant Buck and baby daddy Tommy 🙏🏼

Oh, GLADLY. I spent my entire commute home thinking about this after I got this ask.

Okay, here’s everything you must know about Buckley-Kinard Baby Begins:

Buck is shitscared fucking terrified to tell Tommy when he finds out he’s pregnant, because while he knows that there are men out there who can get pregnant, Buck didn’t think or know he was one of those men. And they’ve been dating for six months, and at the four month mark they had their first ever fight, because Buck decided to say “I Love You” for the first time in the same conversation where he was asking Tommy if they could stop using condoms. They haven’t even talked about kids. Tommy, Buck reflects hysterically, is gonna think Buck is babytrapping him.

He lets himself into Tommy’s place after the doctor’s appointment. Tommy is in bed, napping off a shift, and he’s big and warm like the best desert rock that Buck’s lizard brain wants to curl up on. He crawls into bed with Tommy in a way that feels so final, because when Tommy wakes up for good and Buck lays out the news that there is a baby—and more importantly, that the second Buck found out that there was a baby he knew he wanted to keep it—he’s probably gonna ask Buck for his spare key back, block his number, and ready himself for eighteen years of child support payments.

Tommy shifts, mostly still asleep, eyes impossibly closed under the sun seeping between his bedroom window slats. He’s known Buck’s been feeling like shit the past few weeks, and would have offered to take Buck to his appointment if it weren’t for aforementioned shift. “Howwuz doctor’s?”

“Fine,” Buck says. “Tell you more when you get up.”

Which is Tommy’s cue to pass the fuck back out, which he does.

And Buck watches him sleep, and the most horrible part is that he has this fledgling hope that he’ll tell Tommy about the baby and Tommy won’t think he’s a crazy babytrapping monster and won’t kick him out and will say, you know what, yeah, let’s do this.

Buck knows what it’s like to be crushed and this hope is crushing him. He can’t fall asleep under its weight. Maybe another hour passes before Tommy wakes up, but it feels like a lifetime buried under this tiny hope.

So, he’s a fucking mess when Tommy does wake up, when Tommy says, “So, did they figure out what’s going on?” and all Buck can say is, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” He’s pregnant, he didn’t know, he didn’t think, he would’ve been smarter, he wouldn’t have asked, he’s so sorry, and he wants to have this kid, he doesn’t expect anything from Tommy, he’s sorry.

Miracle of miracles Tommy just holds him through it.

The thing is, Tommy knows he’s not a natural with kids like Buck is. It’s not that he particularly wants or doesn’t want them, but until recently he’d kind of resigned to it not being an option, never willing to tie himself to someone else like that when he was so deep in the closet, and now in his mid-forties with no real biological clock ticking it hasn't been a priority. No, he and Buck haven’t talked about kids, but he knows Buck doesn’t have a malicious or insidious bone in his body, and being with Buck has made him realize there’s this well of love inside him that goes far deeper than he’s ever known it to.

And maybe it won’t work out, Tommy is the first to admit. Maybe it is too soon for them to think this is something their relationship can survive so early in, but it’s not something he’s ready to say no to either. So maybe they carry the burden of hope together, for this life they’re making together, and they give it their best shot.

(The sex they have after this conversation is so off-the-wall bonkers crazy intense that if Buck weren’t already pregnant, well.)

Later, when Buck’s had time to process that Tommy’s not going to leave him over this, that they’re going to try and make this work, that Tommy wants to make this work as bad as he does, does Buck address the second problem that’s bothering him: Buck wants to keep working as long as he can. He can’t be side-lined again. He tells Tommy much more about the lawsuit than Tommy previously knew, the parts that Buck is embarrassed about still years later. How he can’t go back to that, or won’t, how even though they’ve finally ousted Gerrard and Bobby’s back at the helm of the 118, he’s afraid that Bobby won’t trust him and that no matter how much has changed, he’s still replaceable to the people he considers family (not healthy, Tommy doesn’t say, but he gets it).

So, Tommy’s like: let’s take a week. Let’s look into this. He’s known pregnant people in the field before, there are proper channels to consider and protections to be made before Buck has his second pregnancy-related breakdown. They support each other through the next step, and it feels auspicious and good for this whole thing working out.

Telling Bobby for real still doesn’t come as well as Buck would like it to. He babbles. He starts out by mentioning he’s done his research, and there are lawsuits (he’d like to avoid) and more recent case studies on all these accommodations that say barring complications he’d be suited to some duty through his second trimester, and—

“Wait, you’re pregnant?” Bobby asks.

Buck stammers out, “Uh yeah. It’s not—we didn’t know I was even a carrier, so it’s a surprise. That said, it’s still, you know, we know it’s early—it’s really, really early, but Tommy and I talked about it. And we want it, you know, even if he and I don’t work out at the end of the day. It’s not unwanted.”

(And there’s something to be said there about both Buck and Tommy, two men who grew up feeling unwanted suddenly bringing a new life into the world, and knowing above all else that no matter how things work out between them, they’re going to make this kid know how wanted it is.)

“Congratulations, Buck, that’s amazing,” Bobby says. Smiling in a way that Buck knows he means it, in a way that makes Buck think, is he proud of me? I think he’s proud of me. In a way that he knows that despite all his fears and their past history, Bobby trusts him on this one, will work with him, will provide the support he needs now that he knows how to ask for it.

Buck gets to go to Tommy's (home) after his shift, and when Tommy asks, Buck says, "Bobby's having me refitted for PPE in a few weeks, we're all good to go" (all three of us)

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 1 - the gc birth

in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends

or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28

__

THE GLADE

[ 7:45 PM ]

alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally

alby: Hello, guys.

minho: wtf is this

newt: uhhhh

tommy: hi :3

y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private

gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number

newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n

tommy: oh that’s y/n?

alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??

newt: yea

tommy: o.O

y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao

tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????

y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p

newt: lmao

minho: ik he smug as fuck rn

not u asking for a girls number lmao simp

newt: stop

y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it

plus you guys are friends irl so idk

it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh

minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n

we play games all the time

call all the time

we even send packages and shit

you’re very much considered our irl friend

y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺

tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️

minho: the heart eyes are crazy

but yes dude

newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you

minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO

but real ig

y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE

hahahahha

HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR

I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER

gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys

minho: gally sleeps in the corner

gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion

y/n: cherry blossom mansion*

gally: and you sleep in a shed

y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.

tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰

y/n: love you tommy <3333

minho: that’s actually nasty stop now

y/n: u mad ur unloved

i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((

newt: aw it is

minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord

alby: I’m done with Discord.

newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate

minho: mate 💀💀

british people so crazy

alby: Yes maybe..

I don’t want to make another.

y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to

minho: LMAO REAL

alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)

minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀

newt: minho admitting he’s jobless

minho: you work at a library be so fr rn

newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.

gally: LMFAOOOOOOO

minho: stfu :////

y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY

tommy: YAAAY!!!!

im going to text you guys all day

tell you every meal

every thought

every interaction will be meaningful and glorious

newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that

minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit

why not just do it before in the discord ??

tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..

y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy

newt: ok second thought that’s fine

minho: .

gally: that’s wild.

y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST

newt: first with what

y/n: say what u ate today

newt: didn’t say i’d do it.

tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333

you guys next

minho: that’s all you had bro..

y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D

minho: ??????? BRO

how are you guys alive

y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking

newt: please eat and drink water.

like for real and document it

y/n: ok wait

there

tommy: yum!

minho: y/n..

newt: cereal does not count

y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY

im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare

newt: alright what do you want?

y/n: wym?

newt: like if you could pick.

minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it

i like it go on.

tommy: i want chick fil a

minho: i knew you hate the gays

tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????

y/n: ugh that does sound good

mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch

newt: that’s what you would order?

y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh

newt: ok

minho: that’s it?

i thought soemthing would happen

tommy: me too

like a spell! magic 🪄

y/n: sigh

my cereal tastes bad now

newt: well it is cocoa puffs.

minho: L cereal

y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG

minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L

newt: you're annoying minho

minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that

newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying

minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday

newt: ???

myself

and i paid for yours too

im the one with an income

minho: .

well i didnt think youd remember that well.

newt: it was literally yesterday.

minho: yeah but ur old

newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU

minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔

tommy: guys stop fighting

newt: we aren't fighting

maybe this gc was a bad idea

tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!

y/n: NOOOO!

tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl

y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was

y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.

wait there is a knock at my door im scared

newt: answer it

minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????

newt: well usually yes

y/n: no im not expecting company

newt: just do it pls

y/n: ok :D

minho: bruh..

i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt

newt: why would you want that

minho: bc she owes me money

newt: YOU owe ME money

minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux

tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE

y/n: :o....

tommy: Y/N?????????

OH GOD THEY GOT HER

minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got

tommy: clearly its a surprised face

maybe its not her

its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use

y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!

minho: me

newt: you literally did not

minho: shut up

y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt

newt: well

y/n: :(

newt: what why are you sad?

minho: im hungry too

y/n: u spent ur money :(

newt: you're hungry are you not?

minho: she's not but i am

y/n: yeah but..

i feel bad you shouldn't have

newt: just eat it or i'll be mad

minho: i think i want red lobster

newt: it's really no big deal y/n

y/n: thank you newt :(((((

newt: you're welcome

go eat and watch ur show or smth

minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving

newt: can you shut up

gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.

minho: thank god

newt: good

tommy: good

y/n: good

the food is good too <3

newt: good.

_

lmk if you want to be tagged!

[look-at-the-soul]

Endless love

(Modern) Tommy Shelby x reader

✨ I wrote this for @justrainandcoffee Alfieversary! My dearest Flor who knew fanfiction and Peaky Blinders would cross our paths! Thank you for always being so kind and generous-and talented!-, becoming mutuals here for a short time and somehow it feels as if we knew each other in person. Cheers to many, many more Alfieversaries!

Summary: Y/N is “forced” to leave her husband and baby for the weekend, so join Tommy to sort parenthood by himself for a couple of days. How will he deal with everything? Including a fussy baby.

Word count: 2.5K

A/N: we know I try to make moodboards right? 🤭

“Okay, erm so there’s milk storage enough.” Y/N mumbled, taking one more look around the bedroom. “Emma’s nappies are in the first drawer, keep her bunny close to-“

“Her face, I know.” Tommy produced a small chuckle, trying hard not to roll his eyes as he had already heard his wife’s instructions for almost a week. “Love, just leave that there, take a deep breath and have a margarita for me, we’ll be fine.”

Looking down at his six-month old he found her big beautiful eyes staring at him.

Y/N blinked nervously, this was the first trip away from Emma, it’s was a natural thing to be nervous.

“I can’t drink a margarita, remember?” She pointed at her breasts for a clearer message. Although she really wanted one.

This was actually her first real going out in a long time, somehow her life had been turned upside down full of baby trips to the doctor’s appointments, quick trips to get the groceries, restless nights of feedings. Thats why when Tommy insisted she should make the trip with Rose and the girls, she thought it would be a good idea to have a little time to herself.

But suddenly, her phone started ringing and loads of messages arrived simultaneously.

“Are you su-“

Tommy cut his wife’s words. “Yes, now go before Rose comes up to take you.”

Y/N gave Tommy a worried look, she couldn’t help it.

“Say goodbye to mama,” he waved Emma’s little hand. “Buh-bye mam!” He imitated a childish voice.

Y/N felt her heart clenching inside her chest when she kissed her daughter’s chubby cheeks.

“If you need anything just call and I’ll be back.” She rushed to say before kissing Tommy’s lips. Stepping out of their home, she blew them a kiss.

Tommy finally felt confident enough to release the air he had been holding. He was beyond nervous for not having his wife around whilst taking care of their baby, he was actually panicking to do anything wrong.

As Tommy closed the door he saw Emma’s lip quiver and a second later, she let out a big cry.

“Oh no, no darling don’t cry.” Tommy tried to soothe her. Small legs kicking with such force that made him think of a small tornado. “It’s alright, mama will be back in a couple of days…” he mumbled tried to get his daughter to settle.

His phone started buzzing in his pocket, he tried to rock Emma, but her cries became louder. Pressing the green button so fast that he didn’t look at the name on the screen.

“‘Lo?”

“Is Emma alright? I heard her crying.”

Tommy gasped. “Yes, of course, it’s the television… there’s a baby crying.” He lied.

He noticed Y/N’s hesitation so he rushed to assure her everything was fine and encouraged her to have a great time with her friends. Then, Tommy searched the channel with calm music Y/N used to rock Emma to sleep, in an attempt to settle his baby.

“How can a little thing like you cry so loud?” Tommy sighed defeated. He was one step from giving up. “I don’t know how your mama does it.”

He had tried everything, absolutely everything. And nothing seemed to work.

Was his baby sick? Hurting?

“What is it baby girl?” He wiped away the tears from her eyes, long lashes wet, chubby cheeks red from the intensity of her cries.

A sudden flashback appeared on his mind and with long strides, he walked into their bedroom hoping to find Emma’s bunny in its place. It had been a birth gift by Rose, and his daughter didn’t seem to like anything else.

“Look… here’s your bunny.” He tried tickling her cheeks. “And let’s take Mummy’s blanket alright?”

Tommy felt on the brick of desperation, was he really a useless father? One who couldn’t make his daughter stop crying?

His heart was aching.

Tommy wondered how would they survive for the entire weekend without Y/N. He started seriously doubting his parental skills in that moment.

Wrapping his baby in Y/N’s blanket seemed to bring some comfort for his baby. Groaning he covered his face with one of the thin cloths they used to go outside, it was small piece that only covered his features partially but then he heard a small giggle and a raspberry from Emma.

Startled, he removed the sheet from his face and looked down at what was making her giggle.

“You liked your silly daddy?” He asked mimicking a ridiculous voice.

He tried the trick once more.

And to his surprise, Emma giggled again, there was a bit of droll on her chin, big blue eyes sparkling just for him.

“You like Mr. Napkin?!” He asked in disbelief. “Yes you do!”

Getting up, he got a larger napkin from the kitchen and after covering his face again, but he added his glasses.

“Mr. Napkin needs help to see.” He repeated what it seemed like the best acting performance ever. “Oh! I see a beautiful happy little girl.” He turned to face his baby laying in one of his arms.

Emma laughed uncontrollably and kicked her legs happily.

“You know what? Mr. Napkin needs a smoke.” He announced, producing a cigarette from its case. But once he added it to his performance, he noticed a small pout. “Oh no, no… that’s a bad habit, don’t do it.”

Once he got his little girl to settle again, he sighed relieved when he saw the big yawn she offered.

“Mr. Napkin would like a nap too.”

But before he could close his eyes, his phone started ringing and the sound woke his daughter up.

“Shit. Alfie what do you want?”

“Just making sure you’re in one piece still… heard the Misus are having the time of their lives.” Alfie announced.

“I know you’re miserable when Rose is away, but I’m busy here mate.”

“That’s exactly why I was calling, to offer some child support.”

Tommy snorted. “Alfie the last thing I want is you taking care of my daughter.”

Alfie didn’t took that personally, he knew as a matter of fact that he had the opposite effect in Tommy’s daughter. “When will you finally admit your daughter likes me?”

“She likes pulling at you beard and your dog.”

“Look we both know you’re going to make the girls come back earlier from their trip and the least thing I need is having Rosie mad at me at your fault, so meet me and Cyril at the beach.”

“That sounds like an awful idea.”

“See ya.”

The actual plan worked like wonders, Emma was thrilled to spend time with Cyril, because being honest, he got all protective over Emma, and despite his size he acted like a cotton ball, bringing her sticks. But Tommy wasn’t going to admit that out loud.

Of course Alfie teased him endlessly for acting over protective towards the baby just because he made sure his daughter wouldn’t suffer damage from the sun. Or any kind of damage for that matter.

“What are cha gonna do when your little pumpkin starts messing around with boys and-“

Tommy gave him a death stare.

“Wha? You can’t keep her locked mate…” Alfie pointed out as the girl grabbed some sand in her small fist.

“That’s not going to happen.” Tommy answered with a clenched jaw.

Just the mere thought of it, made his insides twist.

And to Alfie, to have the chance to tease Tommy it was like the cherry on top, it was something he wasn’t going to let it pass.

By the time they went back to their apartment, Emma was sound asleep in the back seat.

After changing his baby girl into a pajama set, Tommy walked around the place to set the alarm and taking the remote, he turned off the lights.

To his surprise, he got a message from his wife.

Missing you both like crazy! xx

We missed you too, Emma was thrilled to take a little trip to the beach xx - he replied.

Almost immediately, his phone started ringing and the photo of his wife holding their baby appeared on the screen.

“I know I said I wasn’t going to disturb you, but…” her sweet voice made him smile.

“‘S alright, I was just getting ready to sleep.”

“But it’s still early.” Y/N pointed out turning around to look the hour.

“I am exhausted.” He dragged the words.

Turning the call into video, Y/N noticed the bags under his eyes. The dim light cascading over his cheekbones.

“Looks like someone’s having the time of her life.” He complimented.

“We had a massage and I ordered a virgin cocktail.”

Tommy shook his head. “No booze? What’s the fun in that?”

“Stop temping me.” Y/N pouted. “I’ll let you’ve some rest, tomorrow it’s going to be a long day.”

Tommy yawned and wished his wife a good night.

****

A babbling sound make him open his eyes asTommy tried to fix his blurred vision.

Groaning, he got up. “Morning, sunshine.” He kissed the top of her head as he pulled her against his chest and went back to bed.

Instinctively, Emma started nibbling his nipple.

“Oh sweetie, you won’t find anything there.” Tommy explained with a chuckle.

But Emma wasn’t in the mood and a round of loud cries started right away.

“I get it, the milk provider is moving right away, give me a sec.” He got up and carried his baby towards the kitchen, to prepare the bottle for her. A few minutes later, Emma was sucking happily.

“Such a drama queen eh?” He stared at her soft features. Wondering what life had in store for her. “What do you wanna do today? We can go to the park, or the pub bet your uncles would love to see you.” He proposed as his baby was focused on her milk. That way he could get some help because everyone in his family adored his daughter.

Despite his wealth, Y/N refused hiring a nanny. She was adamant to be in charge of everything related to their daughter. And being completely honest with himself, he was grateful for being able to spend quality time with his first born, Y/N deserved all the credit for that, she helped him feel comfortable by giving his daughter a warm bath and helping as much as he could, being a present father.

She had already threatened him to include a hairstyle masterclass so he could learn to do braids and pigtails.

After a quick bath for him and another one for his daughter. He felt proud of managing to put an asthetic outfit for Emma, he actually went safe with clear colors God forbid that one time he changed her into a set that didn’t match, Y/N scolded and teased him endlessly. As Tommy was looking in one of the drawers for a clean sheet so he could place his baby on the floor, he found a small box where Y/N kept a bunch of things she said that were useless but you might need some day. The thought made him chuckle, but a sharp movement opened the lid and its content fell to the floor.

That’s when he saw something that caught his attention.

A playful smile spread on his lips and he rushed to the living room to set everything.

It took him a while to carry on with his idea, but once he was finished, he stood there proudly to admire his creation, the smile on his daughter’s face told him he did a good job. Oh, the things he’d do for that little Miss Sunshine. She had him wrapped around her little finger.

Snapping a photo, he pressed a few buttons to send it to his wife.

“What is that?!” Y/N asked raising her voice, excitement was evident.

Tommy’s chest expanded proudly as he looked at his mini-me in awe. “She’s being giggling nonstop.”

“This is the best idea ever!” Y/N sounded surprised, so he was still able to be one step ahead.

“Cheapest trick to keep her busy.” Tommy added, sending the photo to the Shelby’s chat group.

“I can’t wait to go back home.” He knew being away wasn’t easy for her, specially because she was so attached to Emma.

“The day will fly by and you’ll be back before you know it.” He tried to cheer her up. His eyes darting back to his daughter, still amazed by the balloons.

“Look at you, I leave you for a couple of days and you win the award parent of the year.”

“That’s what you get for abandoning us.” He joked.

“Hey!” Tommy heard Rose’s voice in the background. “Only emergencies! Is Tommy missing an arm?” He heard some weird noise and then she spoke clearly. “I hope you’re taking good care of Emma.”

“Of course.” He wasn’t sure if he should be more scared of his wife or Rose.

“Good, then were stealing your wife for another day and we’re already planning the next trip.” She warned, and this time around, it was Y/N turn in the background saying that she didn’t want to be away from her daughter again.

“Have a fabulous day, I gotta change a stinky nappy.”

Ending the call, he decided to order some food, the last thing on his mind at the moment was to prepare something. At least he got a great deal by keeping his daughter busy with the balloons and that granted him a few minutes to stand outside in the balcony to smoke a cigarette while keeping an eye on his baby.

And the rest of his day went just like that between naps, babbling and the little sounds his daughter made. Later he’d pick a book to read to her.

****

Sunday finally arrived and after driving for a couple of hours, the girls left her by the apartment lobby first, so she made the trip to her floor quietly and since she didn’t tell Tommy what time they were coming back, she took the chance to surprise him.

He didn’t know, but she had been watching him in the baby monitor app on her phone. As a matter of fact her heart felt full last night when she realized her baby wouldn’t settle and after a couple of minutes, she saw Tommy getting up from the bed and climbing the crib -big enough to fit him-, to sleep with his baby.

She knew he was the best father their daughter could have.

And another proof was that moment while he was feeding Emma and he started singing a Romani song and ever so gently he explained their baby he came from gypsies and she too, had gypsy blood running in her veins. Y/N wanted to bottle the two of them along with those moments that made her confirm her deep love for that man.

But Y/N was the surprised one when she stepped into her apartment and found Tommy sleeping on the couch with Emma lying on his chest fast asleep, his arm wrapped around her back protectively. Her small hand closed in a tight fist over her bunny’s ear.

The image was instantly tattooed in her heart as a lifetime memory.

And she knew, her heart was full and that this was an endless love.

Master list

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this, remember your feedback is always the way to a writer’s heart ♥️✨

Oh! I almost forgot.. Mr Napkin inspiration 👇🏻👇🏻

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @onlydeadcells @gretelshelby @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @elk96 @blondie-22 @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @kmc1989 @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @lauren-raines-x @everythingelseisextra @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @lau219 @red-riding-wood

[lizzieislife94x]

The Babysitter (w.m)

Wanda maximoff x G!P reader 

Legal age gap reader is just say 22

If you don't like the g!p let me know what you want to read. 

Y/Ns POV:

"Oh don't worry about it miss maximoff the boys are asleep you don't have to rush home everything is fine here" I reassure the older woman "ok ill see you when you get home have fun" I laugh as I hang up to hide the pain, you see the woman who I babysit for is so fucking sexy and when she leaves lingering touches on my arm or leans a little to close for a little to long it's so hard to control my little friend downstairs I don't think she's noticed, I'm kinda bummed though because she's on a date since she lost her husband a while back she's decided to get back into the dating world, I've been her go to Babysitter since i was 19 almost 20 and she needed a little help plus it helped me save money for when I travel the world, I decide to sneak up to her room and lay in her bed just to feel a little closer to her the pillow smells like her and it brings comfort to me.

 2 hours later

"Y/n hey y/n" I wake up slowly with what sounds like miss Maximoffs voice fuck I fell asleep on the couch, after a second the fear kicks in and my eyes shoot open oh fuck "miss Maximoff I'm sooo sorry I was uh looking for a pacifier for tommy I must have sat down and fell asleep I uh oh god I'm sorry" I rant while looking anywhere bar the redhead infront of me "y/n calm down its ok I get it the boys can be tirering it's OK honey" I sigh in relief and sit up getting off the bed "can I do anything before I leave ?" I ask my boss "could you help me with the laundry please it's been a rough day the guy I went on a date with total douchbag can you believe he wouldn't accept no for an answer I almost had to punch him luckily the manager came to the rescue" she let's out a deep sigh and looks at me with a sad smile

"of course miss Maximoff anything I can do to help ill gladly help" as I finish my sentence she winches in pain and I take a step towards her "miss Maximoff are you ok? what's wrong do I need to call someone" she giggles and rests her hand on my arm "you're sweet it's nothing its just I need to pump I haven't done it all day and they are extremely sore and sensitive so could you be a doll and hand me the pump please" I feel my face heat up instantly fuck I'm so dumb I fumble around grabbing the breast pump and hand it to her "I uh ill wait outside let me know when your done" I walk outside the bedroom and close the door fuck I'm such a idiot of course she had to pump so stupid y/n I giggle quietly after 5 minutes I hear a angry sounding Wanda and a thump I automatically run inside not thinking "hey are you woahhhhh" I instantly turn and trip still covering my eyes "awwh fuck that hurt are you ok miss Maximoff I heard a bang and thought something happened?" I hear her giggle and feel her eyes on me "y/n for the millionth time it's wanda and you don't have to hide it's just boobs you have them it's not like you've not seen boobs before" her giggle gets louder and I stand up and turn trying to keep my eyes on her but I won't lie I did stare at her tits they where huge and so fucking perfect

"I uh is there's anything I can do to help you miss Maximoff " she shakes her head and looks at me "unless your one of my 2 years who's awake at this time in the morning and hungry for milk then no" as the words left her mouth my not so little friend downstairs decided to wake up as I raised my eyebrow not realising my bulge was visible "wait y/n did you like the idea of drinking my milk", she says with a flirtatious tone "I uhhhh" I can't find the words to speak as she walks towards me walking around me slowly and leaning down to whisper in my ear "your little friend down there is giving you away if you want to taste mommy's milk just say so it would be a big help to my poor sore and sensitive tits" I let out a moan and nod unable to speak "words y/n words" I gulp and clear my throat "I.. I wanna taste your milk" she laughs somethings  missing honey "I want to taste your milk mommy"

fuck that was strangely a turn on "come here honey"she sits on the bed and tells me to lay in her lap and I do as she says Holy fuck this is happening I see her perfect tits tight in my face and latch my lips around her nipple and start sucking waiting for the sweet taste of her milk "oh fuck oh fuck" she breaths out rubbing my face "so good honey that feels so good your doing so well" I smirk and suck harder draining the milk from her left tit as she moans above me I switch to her right nipple and start sucking till there's nothing left my cock has never been harder "that was like nothing I've ever experienced the pleasure was so intense" she confesses rubbing my cheek "if you ever need help again please please let me do that because your milk was so fucking good" I blush I stand up and turn to try and fix my solid member fuck I'm gonna bust so hard when I get home "y/n please don't try and hide from me do you think I haven't noticed all the boners you've had around me" I turn and look at her in shock fuck I thought she didn't notice "fuck" is all I can manage "why do you think I said no to the creep that took me on a date because I didn't want his cock coming anywhere near me the only cock I want is yours" Holy shit wait when did she get naked my eyes instantly travel her body as I bite my lip "fuck Wanda youre so sexy" I walk over crashing my lips against hers sliding my tounge into her mouth as she undresses me how did she get my clothes off so quick "fuck" she states looking down at my little friend standing at attention "you're fucking huge y/n" I gently push her on the bed and she spreads her legs I automatically lean down and lick a strip from her entrance to her clit taking it into my mouth and sucking harshly earning loud moans from the redhead I kitten lick her till her legs are shaking and sit up crawling over her letting my dick tease  her entrance "fuck y/n just fuck me already I need you inside me I need you till fill me" she begs and I do as I'm told I slide my dick past her entrance and groan and the sensation fuck she's so fucking tight I start to thrust hard and fast looking deep into her eyes "fuck Wanda youre so fucking tight your taking my cock so well" I moan as does she and the marks my back is gonna have totally worth it though I continue fucking her tight cunt at  an ungodly speed as I feel the coil building I slam a few more times as I feel my cum shooting deep inside her cunt "fuckkkk Wanda" I moan loudly as she cums at the same time I slow my thrusts to help us both ride out our orgasms as I slide out of her and she moans at the movement I lay on my back trying to breath properly "Holy fuck that was amazing " I giggle and she looks at me in shock "y/n are you still hard how the fuck is that possible " I hide my face and giggle "because my little friend likes you alot and you make it stand at attention " she bites her lip and smirks "fuck" is all she managed to say 

 AN: not sure how I feel about this lactating kink I've read stuff like this never wrote it tho so let me know what you think.......again just trying new stuff lmaoooooo word count almost 1.5k  (update since i wrote this last year i very much do enjoy writing the lactating kink its hot, sue me lmao remember drink water and stay hydrated babes)

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Tommy's ambitions take them to new heights, but not without consequences looming on the horizon.

Word Count: 4,005

Notes: I originally considered including some more detailed aspects--even potentially a full chapter--detailing Lizzie's pregnancy and Ruby's birth, but I have tokophobia, and just wasn't comfortable going into that much detail regarding that topic. So apologies to anyone who wanted to see more of that. And I promise that the Lizzie drama is only just beginning, and will be a big part of the next couple parts, so please consider checking those out once they're posted if you're interested in seeing a continuation of that aspect of the story.

Also, I just want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story. This is to date the biggest single fic I have ever written, and the support you have given me means so much. I promise to have more featuring Tommy and Lucy out very soon!

Warnings for depictions of insecurity, sexual content, PTSD, and references to torture and pregnancy. Bit of a bittersweet ending here, so sorry about that!

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Part

Chapter 29: Shake Hands with the Devil

Returning to work had been the right idea.

Already, Lucy was starting to feel better, work helping to drive the dark thoughts that had been plaguing her lately to the back of her mind. They were still there, but they weren’t nearly as loud as they once were. 

Tommy’s new plan required a good amount of logistics and organizing, both of which she was eager to take on. And another action, one somewhat less desirable, but just as necessary. 

She was surprised at just how easy it was to get Jessie to give up the name of the leader of the cell. All it took was a kiss from Tommy and a declaration that he wanted to help her cause to have information already spilling from her lips. 

But then again, Tommy always seemed to have that effect on women. And Jessie, despite how she may have presented herself, was desperate for connection.

“You alright?” Tommy asked, after Jessie had left the office with the promise that they’d meet up later.

“I feel a little bad for what we’re doing to her,” Lucy sighed, leaning back into him while his hands rested on her upper arms, chin settling on the top of her head.

“If you really don’t want to go through with it, we can figure something else out–”

“No, it’s fine.” She turned around in his arms to face him, resting her head on his chest, leaning into the warmth of his body. 

It was a shitty thing, what they were doing to Jessie. But fucking her was necessary to ensure her loyalty until the election was done. And to maintain the steady stream of information she could provide them about the communists–at least, that’s what Lucy was going to keep telling herself in order to be able to sleep at night. 

“Just…” she worried on her bottom lip, feeling Tommy’s hand settle protectively on the back of her head. “Promise me that you won’t come in her.” She didn’t need to specify as to why, feeling him tense a little against her of the reminder of Lizzie and her approaching due date. 

“I promise.”

She cleared her throat awkwardly. “We really should talk about what you want to do about Lizzie.”

“What do you mean?”

She hesitated, unsure as to how she could properly broach the subject to him, feeling a tear begin to cleave its way through her heart in response to what she was about to suggest. Even as she forced the words to come out. 

“You should marry her.”

Tommy jerked back, staring at her with a furrowed brow, frown pulling his lips downwards. “What?”

“You can’t be unmarried with an illegitimate child if you want to move into politics, Tommy.” Knowing him, winning the position of MP was just the beginning. He had big things ahead of him. “You have to project the right kind of image. And if you want to be able to be involved in any sort of significant way with the baby…”

“But I love you,” he said softly. “If I’m going to marry anyone–”

“It needs to be the mother of your child,” Lucy finished for him stubbornly. He shot her a wounded look. 

“I don’t want to marry her.”

We don’t always get what we want, she thought, but bit her tongue. If things had been different, maybe it could have been her that he would marry. But they weren’t. 

“And besides, what about you?” he pressed.

“I think that I’m a small price to pay for the betterment of your child’s life and your career.”

The hurt in his eyes deepened. “Well I don’t!”

“Tommy…”

“We’re not talking about this,” his jaw twitched unhappily as he shook his head, turning towards his desk.

“Sweetheart, please…”

“I’m not giving you up.” That stubborn sharpness entered his eyes, jaw setting, and she knew that she would get nowhere with him on the subject. At least not yet. He’d have to see with his own eyes that she was right before he budged on it. 

She sighed. The last thing that she wanted to do at the moment was fight with him. “Alright.”

They did not speak of the matter again. Though it lingered in the air between them like a ghost. 

∗ ∗ ∗

They laid side by side in the narrow bed, Tommy in the middle with Lucy on one side of him, Jessie on the other. He was thumbing at his brow with one hand, staring up at the ceiling while Jessie slipped out from under the sheets to go get dressed. Lucy watched her lazily, shifting to tuck herself more closely into Tommy’s side. His arm dropped to wrap around her shoulders, fingers tracing over her back. She shifted nearer to him, suddenly needing the closeness.

“You okay?” Tommy whispered to her in the dark. When she didn’t respond right away, his voice grew a little strained with worry. “Lucy?”

“‘M okay,” she said, nestling her head more firmly on his chest, eyes still watching Jessie carefully. They could not talk while she was in the room with them. At least not really. 

She ached pleasantly between her legs from having him buried inside her but only a few moments ago. And while the pleasure from the orgasm he’d given her was still rushing through her veins, she was coming down from it rapidly, crashing back to earth in an unpleasant plunge. 

It would appear that Lizzie’s pregnancy had more or less killed a lot of the enjoyment that threesomes once held for her. She’d felt an unfamiliar surge of anxiety as they’d taken Jessie to bed, the kind that sex normally helped to dull. But this time the tumultuous, overwhelming feelings only seemed to grow as she watched Tommy fuck their new lover. Even though he’d kept his promise and not emptied himself inside of Jessie, the threat of yet another unintended accident from their liaison had set her so on edge that she found it almost impossible to fully lose herself even in Tommy’s familiar kisses and touches.

She was pretty sure that he was able to sense her nervousness, but whether he was able to guess the actual reason, or thought that she was just anxious because this was the first threesome they’d had since what had happened with Luca, she wasn’t sure. Either way, despite Jessie being the primary focus of the evening, he was being notably attentive towards her, eyes constantly darting over to check on her throughout, warm mouth seeking out her skin in attempts to pull her out of her own head. 

He was looking at her that same way now, a slight crease forming between his brows. Lucy offered him a weak smile that only caused the look of concern to deepen, his other arm joining the first in wrapping around her so that he was hugging her tightly. Lucy squeezed him back, closing her eyes and burying her face in his chest. As if by doing so she could somehow hide away from the entire world. 

∗ ∗ ∗

Tommy left his meeting with Arthur Bigge in high spirits. It had taken some convincing, but all his conditions had been met. Everything was going according to plan. 

Well, not everything. Lucy was still worrying him. She was doing considerably better than she had been during their holiday, but she still wasn’t wholly herself. 

She used to smile and laugh so easily. Even at the absolute worst of his jokes, or with the smallest little bit of teasing, and he could have her giggling, trying to shield it behind one of her hands even as her mossy green eyes lit up, entire face crinkling with mirth.

But nowadays, a melancholic aura had draped over her, seeming to cling to her skin, casting a film of sorrow over her eyes. Of course Tommy did not expect her to go back to the way that things were before Luca. But it killed him to see her so despondent and broken. 

He missed hearing her laugh. 

What he would give to make it all better for her. To pull the sadness out of her eyes. Take it into himself, if he had to. Just so long as she didn’t have to carry it anymore. 

She was still having nightmares and the occasional panic attack, as was to be expected. He had been worried originally that all the work that came along with preparing for the election would cause her too much stress. Especially with how fragile she still was. But if anything the work seemed to help, so he let her be. 

But her comments about how he should marry Lizzie had struck a nerve in him, planting a seed of dread in his chest. He had always assumed if he were to ever marry again after Grace, it would be to Lucy. No one else. Especially not Lizzie.              

He had meant what he’d said. He wasn’t letting her go. He’d rather burn his reputation and even the entire bloody company to the ground before he even considered something like that. But his Lucy seemed incapable of understanding that, and he was beginning to grow more and more worried that no matter how much he tried to reassure her, she was doubting her place at his side.

When he first brought up the idea of running for MP, she had asked him what was to become of her position as his assistant after he took office. The question had taken him aback. It had seemed so obvious to him that she would come with him. He’d hardly given it any real thought. Wherever he went, so did she. That was how things had always been, and he had no intention of changing them. Her worries seemed only somewhat abated when he smiled and coyly told her that MPs still needed assistants. It wasn’t long before she was fretting over the possibility of rumors spreading regarding their relationship and tarnishing his reputation. 

As if his reputation was not already drenched in blood and mud. 

He’d just grinned and kissed her temple, trying to appear relaxed and unbothered by any of it. Hoping that if he did, it would help to soothe her. 

“Most politicians are sleeping with their secretaries, love. We won’t exactly be unique in that regard,” he’d told her. It seemed to have calmed her concerns enough. At least for the moment. 

Adjusting the grip on his briefcase, he pushed out of the door and stepped into the crisp fresh air. Glancing around, he frowned when he didn’t spot Lucy on the bench where he’d left her before going in for the meeting. Bigge had wanted to meet with just him alone, and while Tommy had been inclined to kick up a fuss about it until he let Lucy accompany him, she’d insisted that he shouldn’t risk irritating Bigge just so she could be in the room while they struck their deal. 

He hadn’t been particularly happy about it, but ultimately he had to admit that she had a point. 

Looking around, a beat of panic tightened in his throat at no sight of her distinctive crimson hair. His heart started to pound hard in his chest. No. No, no, no, no…he’d just left her there for a second, she’d been armed, there were dozens of people around, surely she couldn’t have been just snapped up right off the street…

His head swiveled around, scanning the people passing by him. Maybe he’d just missed her. She was so short, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that he’d just lost her in the crowd of people.

He was just beginning to properly panic when he heard his voice at his elbow. 

“How did it go?”

He whirled, eyes wide, chest still heaving with the startings of his panic attack, to find her standing there none the worse for wear, black coat pulled in tight around her.

Relief hit him like a blast to the face, and it took all his self control not to seize her in his arms and squeeze her tight to him. Instead he just let out a deep breath, shoulders relaxing. His eyes closed as he steadied himself, taking the time to remind himself that she was there and she was fine.

He opened his eyes again to find her still looking up at him, head cocked curiously. “Where were you?” he demanded, tone perhaps a bit sharper than he’d intended. 

“I got bored, so I went for a walk.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s just…you weren’t here and I…” he huffed. “It’s alright. C’mon,” he indicated with his head towards the car that he’d parked on the edge of the curb. He held open the door for her, then slipped in after she’d gotten settled in the passenger seat. Setting his briefcase down and closing the door behind him, he turned to look at her. There was an odd bulge in the front of her coat. His eyes narrowed. The bulge twitched. “What’s that?”

Lucy clutched her coat tighter to her body, blinking up at him innocently. “What’s what?”

“What’s wrong with your coat?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Her coat meowed. Tommy raised an eyebrow. Lucy pouted, letting the garment fall open to reveal a tiny little black and orange tortoiseshell kitten hidden underneath, blinking up at him with scrutinizing green eyes. 

“What the bloody hell is that?”

Lucy stroked the little animal’s head. “It’s a kitten, Tommy. Surely you’ve heard of them before.”

He rolled his eyes. “I know what a kitten is, Lucy. What’s it doing tucked in your coat?”

“I heard her crying in the alley behind the bench I was sitting at. And when I went to look, she was soaking wet and shivering all alone in this little box. I couldn’t just leave her there.”

“The fuck are we going to do with a stray kitten, Luce?”

She shrugged. “We can keep her at the house. She could help with the mice problem.”

“We don’t have a mice problem.”

“And now that we have a cat, we never will.”

He eyed the kitten warily, still feeling like she was sharply analyzing him. Her little tail flicked back and forth, paws kneading at Lucy’s thighs. When Lucy scratched at the top of her head, she angled her face up, and batted at her playfully with one soft paw. Lucy giggled. 

Tommy looked up sharply at the sound, biting the inside of his cheek to try to maintain his serious facade even as he felt himself soften at the sight of her smiling down at the cat. 

“And you immediately assumed that I’d be alright with this?” he asked, the amusement obvious in his voice.

“You don’t have much of a choice.” Lucy flashed him a grin before her attention returned to the kitten, who’d curled up into a ball on her lap. Tommy raised an eyebrow, fond smile threatening to break containment as it tugged on the edges of his lips. 

“No?”

Lucy looked up at him, a challenge entering her eyes. “You knocked someone else up.”

He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. “You know what–that’s fair.”

She snickered, leaning forward to peck his cheek to let him know that there was no real bite to her words. Tugging off one of his gloves, he held his hand out to the cat. She sniffed at his knuckles, whiskers twitching with consideration, and then rubbed her cheek against his hand. 

“She likes you.”

“Mm.” He gave her a few scratches under the chin, begrudgingly admitting to himself that the kitten was pretty fucking cute. And Lucy was right; the least he could do was let her keep the cat. “We’ll have to get her checked out by the vet before we take her home.” 

“Of course. Who knows what she might’ve gotten into living on the streets. Poor baby.”

Tommy let his hand stroke over the kitten’s back. She was so little, he could probably have fit her in one palm when she was all curled up. He felt a slight buzz under his hand as she started purring. He could feel Lucy watching them both fondly. 

“So it went well?”

“Hm?”

“The meeting with Bigge. Did it go alright?”

He smiled at her softly. “Yes; it went alright.” 

Her face lit up, leaning into him. “Good.”

He turned his face to catch her lips with his, kissing her gently in celebration.

Between them, the kitten meowed. 

∗ ∗ ∗

“Don’t you dare.”

Lucy grinned to herself as she approached Tommy’s office, hearing his voice even before she pushed open the heavy wooden door. She was greeted with the sight of the kitten perched on his desk, her little paw batting his box of matches closer and closer to the edge, her head cocked with intrigue. 

Her green eyes peered over at him, holding his gaze, and promptly batted the box onto the floor. Tommy sighed, reaching across to scoop the little monster up and plop her down onto his lap. “You’re gonna be a little troublemaker, aren’t you?” But he was smiling to himself, a dimple appearing in his cheek when the kitten meowed in agreement. 

Lucy smiled as she stepped fully into the office, walking over to set down a fresh stack of papers onto his desk. “Need you to sign these.” She collapsed back into a chair across from him as he plucked up a pen. 

Her hand raised to rest against the side of her face as she watched him. With every passing day, the election drew nearer, and with it, her anxiety grew. 

She’d been keeping an ear to the ground, regarding anything that might hinder him winning. But so far, with all the careful bribing and other methods of rigging that they’d implemented holding strong, it seemed like it would be an easy path to victory.

But there were some rumblings regarding Lizzie and the pregnancy that had started to spread. Lucy was pretty sure that they could keep them suppressed at least until the election was over. But not indefinitely.

It was going to become a problem.

She supposed it was almost funny, in a way. How being unmarried with an illegitimate child was likely to cause more harm to his reputation than being a notorious gangster. 

They needed to address it. Figure out what they were going to do. And the longer that they took, the more damage the whole situation was likely to cause. 

The kitten jumped into her lap, curling up with a soft purr. Lucy let her hand stroke mindlessly through her black and orange fur.   

“Tommy?”

He looked up at her through the glinting lenses of his glasses, eyebrow raised, papers still clutched between his fingers. 

“Yes?”

She’d been reluctant to bring up the subject ever since he so thoroughly shut her down the last time over it. But if she was being truly honest with herself, that wasn’t the only reason why she’d so willingly let it go.

She didn’t want him to marry Lizzie. And she sure as hell did not want to let him go. 

We’ve still got some time. We don’t need to do anything about it yet.

She swallowed hard, feeling like the worst, most selfish scum on the earth, even as she forced a wobbly smile on her face. 

“Never mind.”

∗ ∗ ∗

Time passed at seemingly the speed of light. And before she knew it, she was standing next to Tommy, the rest of the family–except for Lizzie who had to wait outside with the baby–crowded around him. They were all waiting with baited breath as the results of the election were announced over the loudspeaker. Lucy could feel her guts twisting nauseatingly inside her with nerves, heart leaping into her throat. 

It had been an insane handful of months, and they’d all seemingly passed within the blink of an eye. She didn’t even know where all the time had gone. 

Not long before the election took place, Lizzie gave birth to a baby girl, already bestowed the name Ruby by Polly before her arrival into the world.  

And oh, did Tommy love that little girl. 

It was heartwarming to see him fall so deeply in love with her, and every moment spent watching him with her made Lucy’s heart jump. 

But God, did it also hurt.

She kept her melancholy and jealousy over the gorgeous little family he now had with Lizzie tucked down deep and away, where no one would ever find it. Ruby was a sweet baby, and she deserved nothing but good things in life. And Lucy did love her. Enough that she was more than prepared to walk away forever if she had to in order to give that girl a chance at growing up with a proper family around her. 

She knew it made Tommy sad, to not be able to see her all the time. Ruby and Lizzie still lived at the home Tommy had bought for them, and while he visited when he could, he still did not get to see his daughter as often as he would if she lived at Arrow House. 

They still had not had the conversation about what to do regarding that situation long-term. She’d tried to bring up the idea of him and Lizzie getting married again a handful of times, especially after Ruby’s birth, but Tommy still wouldn’t hear of it. 

A part of her was worried that, despite the promising polls, his personal life would hinder his victory. And it would all be her fault. Because she had been selfish and decided to try to hold onto him, even though the selfless thing–the responsible thing–would have been to let him go so he could build a proper personal life to go along with his new ambitions. 

A huge breath of relief left her when his name was announced over the loudspeaker, a wide smile quickly replacing the look of apprehension that had been there a moment prior. She hugged Tommy back tightly in celebration when he engulfed her in his arms, briefly forgetting that she was trying to behave more distantly towards him in public. Like a mere colleague rather than a lover. To try to save his reputation before the rumor mill fully caught wind of their affair and ran with it. 

“I now declare Thomas Shelby to be the new Labor Member of Parliament for the constituency of Birmingham South,” the announcer boomed for all to hear. Not just in the room that they were all crowded in to hear the results, but across the entire bloody country. 

Cheers erupted, everyone in the family swarming around him, all smiles and uninhibited joy. They soon made their way to the doors, out to where Lizzie was waiting with Ruby clutched in her arms. Tommy beamed as he scooped Ruby up, lifting her high above his head, the baby squealing and giggling in delight. Lucy smiled at the display and the baby’s happy coos as her father adjusted her to rest on his hip and carry her with him down the rest of the stairs. But her smile quickly fell when she spotted Lizzie flashing a truly snide smirk at Jessie where she was standing in the crowd. A tendril of trepidation coiled itself around her, wondering if she would be on the receiving end of such a look sooner or later. Lizzie had been behaving decently towards her as of late, but she was not fool enough to expect that to last.

She followed Tommy and Lizzie down the stairs, lingering back to let them both go first, walking side by side with their baby while she trailed behind them; alone. 

And despite their current string of good fortune, of endless possibilities and new doors opening up before them, she found herself struggling to muster up any real hope for the future. 

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[acaciusbride]

Taboo - Tommy Miller x AFAB!F!Reader

Summary: Your herbal anxiety remedy gives you an unexpected side effect. Luckily, your lover doesn't mind.

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: lactation / unprotected p in v / breeding / infidelity - Tommy is cheating on Maria with Reader / Reader is AFAB & capable of lactating / Reader can be read as any race or body type / smut / dirty talk / big girthy unspecified age gap / self indulgent taboo AF

Your tits ache under your lover’s warm touch. Hot and heavy, a side effect of the herbal tisane you brew to keep your anxiety at bay. Sure, you aren’t anxious anymore, but your tits hurt, and you’re so fucking horny that you think you might actually die if you don’t get what you need.

You’re straddling Tommy’s lap, feel the hot, heavy weight of his cock pressed between you as you run your fingers through ink black curls, let him kiss down your throat, to the soft curve of one breast as two of his thick, callused fingers explore your drenched cunt.

You’re soaking his fingers, his lap, his cock when he drags you along it. Your tits ache again, and you whimper.

“Tommy…” you whine, “hurts…”

“Where does it hurt, honey?” He mumbles into your skin, nuzzles into the soft skin of your tits; he can’t help himself; your nipples are so hard, begging for his mouth. He doesn’t wait for an answer before he sucks a pebbled nipple into his mouth, biting down gently.

You moan as his skilled tongue circles the bud, as one big hand moves to massage the sensitive skin as he sucks.

A sudden burst of sweetness hits his tongue, and he moans, low and deep against your tit as he sucks harder.

“Oh my god…” you feel your cheeks burning as you realise what’s happening; then you feel his cock throbbing between you and you realise. He isn’t remotely turned off by this. Not remotely. No. He’s into it. Badly.

Without removing his mouth from your nipple, he slides his fingers out of you, presses them wordlessly to your mouth. Obediently, you suck them clean, moaning at the taste of yourself.

“Fuck,” he groans against your tit, releasing your nipple with a lewd pop, “honey, if you don’t come sit on my cock right fuckin’ now…”

He shifts you, both hands on your hips to lift you up, notch the thick, blunt, dripping head of his cock at your cunt before he pulls you down, head tilted back, eyes half closed as he feels your velvet soft walls envelope him.

“Thaaaat’s it, honey, you take my cock like a good girl…” he groans, eyes still half closed as he leans down, scooping the warm flesh of your breast into his big hand to drag back to his hot, greedy mouth.

You cry out for him as he sucks insistently at your tits, alternating every now and then, massaging the soft globes as you bounce on his cock.

It’s lewd and filthy; you’re entirely naked in his lap, while the only thing out of place on him is his hair, which you’d pulled out of its messy bun at first opportunity, wanting nothing more than to run your fingers through it.

It’s the only mark you can give him. You hope that when he’s at home with his bitch of a wife later tonight and brushing out those curls, he remembers you dragging your fingers through them. Hope he remembers how tight your pussy is around his cock. How blissed out and pussy drunk he looks right now, massaging your tits while he drinks you down like a fine wine.

“Tommy Tommy Tommy -“ you chant his name like a filthy prayer as he ruts up into you, the thick curve of his cock kissing your cervix with each thrust.

“You’re gonna make me cum, honey. That what y’want? Want me t’ suck these sweet tits until the ache goes away? Want me to fill up this pretty pussy?”

“Fuck, yes!” You cry out, so loud he has to clamp a hand over your mouth.

“Dirty girl, ain’tcha honey? You wanna get caught, don’cha? Wanna be caught stuffed full of me…”

He’s mostly rambling to himself now, reaches down between you to rub at your swollen clit with an expert thumb; playing you as well as he plays that guitar of his.

You whimper, because he knows you too well, but your response is cut off by following his gaze to your now neglected tits, to the beads of pearlescent liquid that are gathered and slowly dripping down the curve of your breast.

He groans again; it’s more like a sigh as he leans down, the tip of his tongue catching the droplets as he chases the stream, little kitten licks to your over sensitive nipples that make your cunt clench around his cock as he ruts into you.

“Tommy; I’m gonna -“ you whimper, fingers balling into the fabric of his shirt; you wish you could drag your nails up the solid muscle of his back, but that would raise far too many questions, so you hold back.

“Yeah, honey? Makin’ you feel good? Go on, darlin’, go on and cum all over my cock.” His low voice and the feeling of his cock filling you, kissing your womb, the fresh memory of his greedy mouth on your tits, is enough. More than enough.

Your pussy clamps down on his cock as you cling to him, shaking and whimpering as you ride out your release.

“Ohhh, fuck, Tommy, please-?”

He knows what you want before you even vocalise it; his hot, sweet mouth is back on your tit before you can ask, suckling greedily, relieving that strange, hot ache as he starts to chase his own release now.

The room is silent; only your breathy, mewling pants as you come down from your climax and swiftly reach a second, writhing in his arms as you do. The sounds mingle with his hips smacking firmly into yours, his muffled groans of pleasure, and the lewd suckling sounds of him drinking down the sweet nectar that spills from your tits onto his waiting tongue.

“Fuck, honey,” he groans as he pulls away, leans up to kiss you hard. You can taste the sweetness on his tongue and you whimper again, let him hold you tight against his chest as he thrusts deep, grinds his hips against yours as he spills his spend, hot and thick, into your waiting womb.

“Tommy -!” You gasp, because he’s normally so fucking careful, even if he doesn’t much care anymore.

He looks up at you with an almost devious glint in his doe brown eyes.

“I don’t mind sharing if it means I get to keep tastin’ you.”

You shiver again, but it has nothing to do with the cold. Somehow, you get the feeling he’ll get his wish.

[dianxiacantastemolecules]

<<Wrote a little something for my best friend @toomuchheart-cas who was having a hard time with 911 8×6. It's my first piece of any fan writing, so be kind 😭😭. >>

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"Tommy broke up with me"

At the bottom of the last sip of the beer that Buck took like five minutes to finish, he finally starts to speak. 

Eddie's internal monologue was halfway between surprised and confused, sparing a minute to decide how to react in words. 

"By the look on your face, this one seems more permanent" He said, remembering the last time Buck told him that Tommy ditched him. He somehow can't remember much of the details of this relationship past that night. 

"Yeah, yeah. It probably is." 

Buck's never looked so despondent after a failed relationship before. It nearly feels like physical pain.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay."

Eddie sipped his remaining beer, realising it's been a long time he had this one. It's a brand Buck loves and he used to stock it up on his grocery runs every once in a while. His fridge only has bare minimums now, with a six month old ice cream in the freezer he can't throw away. The hot priest really clocked him alright.

Buck hands him another bottle, putting him out of  his trans. 

"You wanna play video games?" The question brings back a memory threatening to tear him up, but he can take it if it means sailing buck through a bad day. When he looks at Buck though, he seems to be reminiscing the same thing. 

"Yeah, sure. Please."

It's half past twelve when Buck starts to yawn, and Eddie takes the remote controls away despite his reluctance, whining like a child followed by some A+ puppy dog eyes. He's not sure if he picked it up from Chris, or vice versa. 

"You know that doesn't work for Chris, and it's not gonna work for you either. You need to sleep, Buck. Your eyes are swollen enough as it is."

"Okayyy, fiiiine. I'll leave in a minute."

Eddie doesn't want him to go. He realises in the minute when Buck gets up to leave towards the door that he's missed Buck. With his head a little lighter of the guilt of hurting his child, he's able to see the retreating figure of buck more clearly. God, it has been six months and he can't remember the last he spent so much time with Buck. He was so consumed with the Christopher shaped hole in his heart, he could barely notice anything else. 

"Buck, wait, you can stay over tonight. You're drunk, and it's late, and, well I would prefer not having to rush to your rescue at 2 in the night." He knows he's rambling, knows that Buck isn't really drunk enough given he could manage to play a game. 

But Buck does not make any comments. Maybe he needs this as well. 

He walks back to the bedroom to collect the 'buck' pillows from the closet (Christopher named them, specifically demanded to buy those after the shooting as he told Eddie how uncomfortably Buck used to sleep on the couch in those days.) 

Eddie stops him in the way, takes the pillows from his hands and keeps them back on his bed. He's almost on auto pilot doing this, with no idea what to say. 

"Eddie, it's fine. I can sleep on the couch. It's basically my fortress of solitude. Pretty sure it has a curve shaped by my butt."

"Not for six months, it has not."

Eddie does not know where that came from. Suddenly, the air is too thick, almost hard to breathe in. Buck looks back at him with a pain in his eyes that almost remind him of the Tsunami. 

"I'm sorry. This is not the time. We will talk about it later. After the breakup has left your system." 

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I-"

"I know. We will talk. Later. You can sleep in my bed today, before Christopher wakes up with his spidey senses in Texas asking me why I made his buck sleep on the shitty couch"

Buck smiles despite himself. 

Eddie goes to refresh, changing into pajamas at last. Buck will use the gold material that is Eddie in undies later to its full potential. He gives Buck his own pair of nightwear, which he realises he left there long back. They both get into bed at last. Buck notices two photos on the bedstand.

One with Shannon Eddie and Christopher at the beach. 

One with him, Eddie and Chris in front of a Christmas tree. 

............................

It's 3 AM at night, and Buck isn't asleep. His brain is at a high drive, piling up with every small shit it can think of. And on the top of the pile is a newfounded guilt of abandoning Eddie and Christopher. And what for? 

Eddie isn't asleep either. Truth be told, he barely sleeps these days, but it's not the usual -missinghisbeautifulchild- hours yet. Tonight he's plagued by different thoughts, trying to decide if he should acknowledge the almost evident radiative thinking of Buck just besides him. And then he hears a few muffled cries. 

That gets him into motion. 

He taps on bucks shoulder, the same shoulder he's held so many times over all the years they've known each other. 

"Buck, hey," He tries to turn him to face towards himself.

"Ahh, sorry did I wake you up? I'm fine, I'm fine. Just not able to sleep." Buck says without turning.

"You don't have to pretend with me, Buck." There's an echo from three years back in Eddie's voice, one that seems to reach through to Buck. He's shaking a little now with his sobs, but still would not turn back. 

Eddie decides to take matters into his own hands. He used to be a problem solver long back, almost another lifetime. There's not a lot of things he can fix anymore. But he knows how much it matters to be there for the people you love. The tiny patch of odd colour on his bedroom wall would tell you more. 

He crosses the distance, and holds Buck from behind. His chin is a solid weight on Buck's shoulder. There's an almost tortuous moment of silence filled with only breathing sounds. 

"You can cry. It's okay. I know everything else is not. But it will be. And even if it isn't okay right now, I am here. I will always be here. We are your home Buck, we will always be." 

Eddie's voice is humming slowly through Buck's skin. He turns over and suddenly Eddie is being engulfed in six feet of the giant called Buck, who starts to weep in his arms. 

Eddie strokes his hair slowly, murmuring sweet nothings. There are tear tracks drying on his own face he fails to notice. He's so pissed at Tommy. He doesn't even care what happened. He will take care of that tomorrow. But right now, he needs to comfort Buck.

With his heartbroken best friend in his arms, Eddie has a peaceful sleep for the first time in months, or even years. He can't really tell. 

..............................

Buck wakes up with his feet tangled between Eddie's, Eddie's arm on his waist and their faces far too close than he can remember. He's vaguely aware that he should be panicking, should be embarrassed about something. But he's not. Buck stares at his best friend's face, notices it closely after a long time. He's disoriented from the lack of the moustache but starts to notice the dark circles, the almost evident lack of care and so, so much fatigue on his face. But still beautiful. Still Eddie. A word that should surprise Buck, but it doesn't. 

He feels well rested, he feels at home. He's known this has been his home for a long time now. But something feels different.

He does not feel empty like he was almost twelve hours ago. He's aware that he hadn't fallen in love with Tommy yet, but it was hurting so bad just now. It doesn't hurt anymore. All the abandonment issues that came crashing down on him suddenly take a back seat. He looks at this man, who's carved out a chunk of his space, his life, his home just for Buck. He dare say his heart too, in the form of a will four years back. Buck doesn't think too hard on the why of it, couldn't even begin to wrap his head around that. He's never been brave enough. 

But today, with the warmth of Eddie all over him, Buck knows why it does not hurt. Someone settled into this space in his life, his heart as well, long before Tommy came. Someone has been loving him long before he even realised he could be loved. 

Eddie's had his back for seven years. Buck realises now, he also holds his heart. 

[rockermybuddie]

Misunderstanding

Tommy x Evan “Buck”

A/n: i write a lot of Tommy and Buck. Imma write something different. Eventually.

Summary: Its Bucks off day and he decided he was going to bake some cookies and bring them to Tommy at work. When he arrives he spots Tommy talking to someone hes never seen before. Hes about to walk over to his boyfriend when the man kisses Tommy. Buck stops and turns around walking away before seeing or hearing Tommys reaction.

————

~Bucks POV~

I feel Tommys lips on mine as he gives me a goodbye kiss. “See you later.” He whispers. I hear the bedroom door click shut and drift back into sleeping.

When i woke up i made me some oatmeal and watched an episode of The Bachelor. When i was done i was bored. Eddie went down to Texas to vist with Christopher. I’m glad the two are making mends, i know it hurt Eddie when Chris left to live with his grandparents in Texas.

Maddie and Chim are taking a short trip to Long Beach. And Hen and Karin are dealing with the foster people to get Nia. So im out of options when it comes to hanging out with someone.

I decided im going to bake some cookies for Tommy and his station, so i get to work. I’m going to make a variety and an allergy free batch.

Once i finished i put the cookies in some boxes and loaded them into my jeep. I didnt text Tommy that i was coming because i want it to be a surprise.

When i arrived i parked my jeep and grabbed the boxes of cookies with a big smile on my face. I walked into the station and scanned the area looking for Tommy.

“Looking for Tommy?” Someone asks. “Yes.” I answer. Everyone here knows who i am. “Hes upstairs in the kitchen.” The person says. “Thanks.” I smile and make my way up the stairs.

When i get to the top i turn the corner and see Tommy talking to someone i’ve never seen before. Hes tall and skinny but well built, he has short curly blonde hair. I cant tell what color his eyes are but the way he is looking at Tommy is making me uneasy and hes standing really close to Tommy. Tommy is leaning against the counter just keeping conversation.

I was about to say his name when the guy leans forwards giving Tommy a kiss. That was all i needed to see even though thats not what i wanted to see. My heart instantly sank and i turned away and got out of there as fast as i could.

I threw the boxes of cookies in the trunk not caring if they spilled out and drove out of there as fast as I could.

I drove to my apartment because i obviously didnt want to go back to Tommys bouse where i’ve been staying at most of the time anyways.

When i walked in it was kind of cold but it didn’t bother me because i was flamming with anger. I cant believe Tommy kissed another guy. I tried not to cry but it was too hard to hold back. I really thought he was the one, that he wouldnt cheat on me. I guess i was wrong.

——-

~Tommys POV~

Everything was going fine at work, had a few easy calls. We got a new person his name is Kaleb Green, great young kid. Hes been doing really good.

We were in the kitchen just talking about why we wanted to become a firefighter and the craziest calls we have ever been on.

“So is your locker the one with the gay pride flag on it?” He asks me. “Yes?” I answer carefully. I dont think this kid is a homophobe or anything but im alway cautious when it comes to telling people. I have no shame in being a gay man but having such a masculine job some people may see me differently.

“Thats so cool. Another gay firefighter. I’ve never met another one. I dont feel so alone now.” He says. “Oh, well actually…” i was going to tell him about Evan but before i could finish my sentence he leaned forward and kissed me. I definitely was not expecting that.

“Dude! What the hell?!” I shout shoving him off of me. “Sorry. Too far?” He stupidly asks. “Yes way too far! Plus i have a boyfriend. He happens to be a firefighter too.” I snap. “Please dont report me. I really like it here” he begs. “Too late.” I tell him walking out of the kitchen.

I walk downstairs to report him when i see a familiar grey jeep leaving the parking lot pretty fast. I hope that wasnt Evan.

“Hey Kinard, what did Evan bring you?” Steven asks from a far. “Shit” i say under my breath that was Evan and he probably saw what happened in the kitchen because i never saw him.

I was about to ask if i could handle this when a call came through. I had to push down my anger and my worries about what just happened and focus on the call. God i hope its a simple call so it goes by fast.

It was not. It was a warehouse fire and the warehouse contained toxic chemicals so everything we did had to be done carefully and correctly. It took the rest of the shift.

We finally got back to the station at 11pm. I grabbed my bag and headed straight for my truck. “Hey Kinard.” I hear Kaleb call out behind me. “Dont talk to me. You most likely just ended my relationship with Evan and he was the best thing thats ever came into my life.” I snap at him. Which I probably said too much, based off his facial expressions, but i need to talk to Evan tell him what happened and pray that he believes me. “Let me talk to him, then i’ll ask for a new placement.” Kaleb says, “let me fix this.” He adds. “No you are not talking to him and yes find a new placement. Its not going to work for you here.” I tell him throwing my bag in the truck and drove home.

——

When i arrive home i dont see Evans jeep which means hes not here. I dont know why i thought he would be at my house after all. I mean yeah hes been staying here most of his time anyways but this would be the last place he would come after seeing another guy kiss me.

I try calling him and texting him but hes not answering, rightfully so. I drive over to his apartment next. I see his jeep parked in its usual spot so i know hes here.

I knock on his door immediately when i arrive. No response. “Evan its me. Please can we talk?” I ask through the door loud enough he should be able to here me. After a few more moments of knocking and asking nicely I threaten to do a welfare check and kick down his door.

I then heard the sound of locks unlocking and the door opened to a cold apartment and a tall Evan with a tear stained face and a angry blank expression.

“Evan please listen, i didnt kiss him. He kissed me.”i say, this is a lot more nerve racking than i thought. Its so hard not to stutter and to hse the right wording. “I saw you Tommy.” Evans voice cracks, he walks to the other end of the table while im at the other. Hes so close but het so far.

“Evan i would never cheat on you. Please believe me. We were talking and he asked if my locker was the one with the gay pride flag. Next thing i felt his lips on mine and i pushed him away. I swear.” I tell him the whole story but i cant tell if he believes me or not.

How do you convince your partner that you aren’t cheating on them when they saw another guy kiss you? I feel like im losing him and i really dont want to.

——-

~Bucks POV~

I listen to what Tommy is telling me and my brain is telling me not to believe him but my heart is telling me that hes telling the truth. Because Tommy is the first person to ever so me the type of personal affection, how it feels to be loved. Even though we haven’t said it yet we can feel it when we cuddle, when we get intimate, and when we say the same thing at the same time.

But in this case what do i go with my brain or my heart? Part of me wants to just believe him and go back to how things were but the other half wants to kick him out of my apartment and never talk to him again.

“Evan everyone in this situation had a misunderstanding.” Tommy says. “How am I misunderstanding this Tommy?” I ask in anger. “Okay, okah, im sorry. Wrong words here. Kaleb had a misunderstanding with what i said and he didnt let me finish talking before he kissed me. I was literally about to tell him about you when he kissed me.” Tommy explains.

“Thats what they all say.” I mumble under my breath. “Say what?” Tommy asks. “That the other person kissed them.” I answer. “Evan….” Tommy says, he can tell hes losing me.

It was quiet for a few moments as each of us trys to think of something. “I’ll come get my stuff tomorrow.” I say finally breaking the silence. “W-w-w-what?” Tommy stutters. “I said i’ll come get my stuff from your house tomorrow. While your at work so we dont see each other.” I repeat. Evans face goes into panic mode as he runs a frantic hand through his rough hair.

“Evan please. Im telling the truth. Listen Kaleb said he will talk to you. He’ll tell you everything i just said is true.” Tommy says all in one breath trying to convince me. “Please leave Tommy.” I ask. I’ve been hurt by too many people that are supposed to love me to try again and risk getting hurt again and again and again.

“Evan, baby please.” Tommy begs. “Stop. Get out Tommy. Get out before i call the police.” I command. Tommy rubs his chin with his hand as he turns to the door. He looks back at me one more time before he forces himself out the door.

Now im all alone, again. I should just stay single the rest of my life clearly everyone is going to hurt me when i get close to them.

——

The next day i wait intil i know Tommy is going to be at work so i can go get my clothes from over there.

When i arrive i dont see his truck which means he went to work today. I walk up to the door and i go to type in the code to unlock the door when the door opens. I look up and see the guy from yesterday. Kaleb.

I wanted to punch the guy so bad. He messed up the one good thing i had in my life. “Evan, right?” He asks. “So you’re Tommys new side piece huh?” I snarl. “Please let me explain myself. I never ment for any of this to happen. Can we just talk?” He asks stepping aside for me to come in. I roll my eyes and walk into the house.

I took a seat at the island in the kitchen as I listened to Kaleb talk. He basically said that it was his fault that he made the move and he ruined his chance at the firehouse. He said that he’s been transferred to a new one.

“So do you believe Tommy now? That he wouldn’t cheat on you?” Kaleb asks. “He was going to come tell you instantly but we got a call. You know how it is.” “Yeah.” Is all i say. “Well i have to get going. I really hope you can forgive Tommy. He really loves you.” Kaleb says as he lets himself out.

I sat at the kitchen island with my head in my hands thinking about what to do when i saw Tommy standing in the entrance of the kitchen leaning against the wall frame.

His body language was soft and his face was filled with regret. Hearing both sides of the story and that basically Tommy was telling the truth made it a little easier to go with my heart. But still knowing another guy kissed him hurts a little.

——

~Tomms POV~

I stood there and watched Evan as he proceeded what Kaleb told him. I can’t believe i caved and let Kaleb talk to Evan but its the only thing I could think of that could save mine and Evans relationship.

“So its true.” Evan finally says. “Yes.” I say. “A lot of people hurt me in the last Tommy.” He says. “I know. I never wanted to be one of them.” I try to control my voice to keep it steady.

“I know.” Evan says, “it still hurts that another guy kissed you.” He says. “It wont happen again. I swear to you Evan.” I promise him. “I know.” He says, a small smile spread across my face.

I walk towards him keeping an eye on his body language. “So do you forgive me?” I ask when im standing in front of him. I feel like im shaking as i wait for an answer. “Yes.” Evan tilts his head up and makes eye contact with me.

A smile spread my face as i lifted his chin up with my finger and connected my lips to his. God it felt so good to feel his lips against mine again. “What were you bringing me yesterday?” I ask out of curiosity. “Cookies. They are spilled in the back of my jeep.” He answers. “You taste better than cookies.” I say shrugging my shoulders. He smiles at that.

“I missed you so much.” I say against his lips resting my forehead against his. “I missed you too.” He says. I cradle the back of his head with my hand as i take his mouth back into mine.

I have him back and im never letting him go again.

——-

A/n: I hope you enjoyed the story!

[novasillies]

most of us are mostly upset about the shitty biphobic stereotypes they used as an excuse for the breakup and how sudden and badly written it was. if more time than 3 minutes was spent on the breakup and it was for a non-biphobic reason, i'd still be sad, but i'd be ultimately fine about it. we all knew the chances of them being endgame were slim. we just didn't think they'd treat the story and its fans with this much disrespect.

(Sorry this answer got so rambly I kept thinking of stuff to say. I swear I’m not coming for ur throat or anything I just talk A LOT <333)

I’m gonna be so real I don’t think they expected bucktommy to have like hardcore fans. They really had no consistency with the way they wrote those two and I would not be surprised if they wrote Tommys scenes this season assuming everyone would not care about any part of it besides buck alone rather than them as a couple, especially since they cut any interactions between tommy and the rest of the cast. He really was always just a plot device, but Tim Minear probs should’ve expected this fanbase to cling onto a mlm couple.

The writing on this show has never been particularly considerate of the fans though. If I liked tommy I’d probs be pissed as hell too cause even I didn’t understand what was going on in that breakup scene (it really was SO SOOO rushed. Like gave me actual whiplash (although the second buck asked him to move in I knew they were done)). But yk. It is what it is. This show is terribly written

I rlly don’t get how it was biphobic though? Is it because of the firsts ≠ lasts thing?? Idk I feel like buck does deserve to explore himself considering how new this really is for him. There’s always a chance they could reconnect later on (I do hate hate hate tommy though sorry not sorry. And I don’t think Oliver stark likes LFJ too much either). It should’ve been his choice though. It would’ve been better if buck had broken it off or if it was an actual discussion rather than tommy implying he was breaking up with him and buck having to ask. But, then again, the way I’ve been watching it, that was incredibly in-character for the both of them. It just felt mean

I think they broke up more because Tommy has issues than because the showrunners think that bi people can’t commit or something (at least that’s what I think the biphobic angle could be?). The only person buck ever did really commit to romantically was Abby and well…! But yeah it’s rare for people to find their forever with their first especially in terms of queer relationships (that doesn’t negate how deeply vital this relationship is, was, and will be for buck. First queer loves (even if he couldn’t say the word) really do stick. I know that very well). I think it was an incredibly weak reason to break up in-universe but hey-ho.

I do hope they treat bucks next LI more like a real character, whether they bring in someone new or old. And I hope they let buck fucking breathe before they do because damn. Can we give HIM a solo self-discovery/self-love arc?? Please????

Aside from Taylor, all of his LIs just kind of been Buck’s Partner and that was all they did. I don’t think the lack of care and weak excuses for a breakup is a Tommy thing or a biphobia thing. These shows get their views from drama! That’s the genre! It’ll be interesting to see if there’s a dip in viewership after this though. You bucktommys are devoted

Here’s to getting better, more considerate writing in the coming episodes (I am truly begging)!!!!

[aquamarine021109]

My dsmp headcanons 😊

Tommy: biromantic demisexual and demi-boy (AMAB) (he/they)

Tubbo: gay and trans guy (AFAB) (he/him)

Ranboo: gay and non-binary (AMAB) (he/they)

Wilbur: pansexual and bigender (AIAB) (he/she)

Dream: bisexual (AMAB) (he/him)

George: gay and non-binary (AFAB) (he/she/they)

Sapnap: bisexual and ambiamorous (AMAB) (he/him)

Karl: homoromantic greysexual and ambiamorous trans guy (AFAB)(he/him)

Quackity: bisexual and ambiamorous (AMAB) (he/him)

BBH: gay (AMAB) (he/him)

Skeppy: gay (AMAB) (he/him)

Antfrost: gay (AMAB) (he/him)

Sam: bisexual & prefers men (AMAB) (he/him)

Ponk: gay (AMAB) (he/him)

Techno: aromantic asexual (AMAB) (he/him)

Dadza: straight ally (AMAB) (he/him)

Jack: bisexual trans guy and a cyborg (he was created by niki as a 'female' robot but transition to male) (he/him)

Niki: bisexual (AFAB) (she/her)

Foolish: bisexual (AMAB) (he/him)

Purpled: unlabeled and agender, also an alien (AMAB) (he/him)

Callahan: Unlabeled and knows sign language (A?AB) (any pronouns)

Fundy: gay and trans guy (AFAB) (he/him)

Puffy: lesbian (AFAB) (she/her)

Eret: bisexual and genderfluid/genderqueer (AMAB) (any pronouns except it/its)

Aimsey: lesbian (any pronouns)

Eryn: gay and unlabeled, also part demon (AMAB) (doesn't care what pronouns you use for them)

Schlatt: gay (AMAB) (he/him) (I also headcanon him to be c!tubbo's dad)

Tina: unlabeled (AFAB) (she/her)

Boomer: gay (AMAB) (he/him)

Punz: homoflexible and non-binary (he/they)

Alyssa: pan or bi (she/her)

Drista: I have no idea if irl her is fine with headcanons, so im not going to put anything.

Mexican dream: straight ally (AMAB) (he/him)

Girl dream: bisexual and trans woman (AMAB) (she/her)

Conner: I've heard he doesn't like cosplays of him, so he probably doesn't like people headcanoning his character.

Hbomb: gay (AMAB) (he/him)

Hannah: bi or pan (AFAB) (she/her)

Charlie: Unlabeled (A?AB) (he/him) (he's a slime so I dont know what his AGAB would be.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Extra headcanons to give the characters more depth.

SBI is canon: wilbur came out as pansexual to tommy and techno in the pogtopia arc, wilbur came out to phil via letters during the pogtopia arc. wilbur came out as bigender after he was revived (to everyone on the smp because he wanted people to use the correct pronouns for her.) tommy came out originally to phil, wilbur, and techno as bisexual before the dsmp but later figured out he was a biromantic demisexual when he first joined dsmp (and of course told phil, techno, wilbur, and tubbo). techno casually came out as aroace to phil, tommy, and wilbur, when they were all sat around at the diner table before they joined dsmp. Also of course everyone was accepting. Wilbur and tommy have wings, but tommy lost his during exile because dream cut them off so he couldn't run away (im sorry for the angst but oh well) and wilbur never lost his. (And the reason you cant see wilbur's wings in my fanart of him of a long time ago is because one: im lazy and its hard to draw wings, and two: he can retract his wings in his back)

Jack is a robot/cyborg: I personally like the idea of jack being a cyborg/robot, probably because im a fnaf fan, I also like to think that niki made him and thats why they were so close (before the smp he came out as trans to niki and she supported him of course) I also like the idea that he looked really human but because of his canon deaths his skin was damaged so you could see the robotic side of him, Also if you cant remember his first canon death was by wilbur, he was burned to death by him and I like to think the fire damaged the skin on his arm and thats how everyone found out he was a cyborg, his second canon death was by tommy on accident, tommy pushed jack in the lava in the nether and from that, thats why you can see his right side all robotic like because the lava burned his skin off. He also came out as bisexual to niki before the smp. (Also can people stop sleeping on jacks character because he is literally one of the coolest characters.) Also his third canon death was by techno, he and techno were having a dual during doomsday, and because of that he lost his right eye and had to tell niki to make another one, of which looked really robotic because she didn't have the resources to make a human looking eye. Jack also went to hell and had to complete different challenges to be revived which is canon btw. (And sense he didn't get revived by the revive book, I dont think he would have a white streak in his hair, and i know that jack doesn't have hair but you can still dye it, take irl billzo for example)

Tubbo's related to schlatt: I like to think that schlatt is c!tubbo's biological dad because both of them are ram/goats, and that schlatt thought he was straight, (thats why tubbo is schlatt's son even tho I headcanon schlatt to be gay) schlatt was also homophobic and transphobic and thats why tubbo when he was 15 he ran away from home (because he told schlatt he was gay and trans but schlatt didn't except him, tho later on schlatt was more accepting of him and actually used the right pronouns and stuff) later on phil found tubbo in a box and basically adopted him, also something cute I'd like to add to the clingyduo headcanon is that tubbo before he met tommy wore a green handkerchief while tommy wore a red handkerchief but when they met and became friends they switched their handkerchiefs so even when their far away from each other they would still remember each other😊.

Lazer, vikk, corpse, pokimane, lilnas x, ninja, ksi and Michaelmcchill will be excluded from this because they logged on there like once. And for anyone wondering AMAB means a person that was born male; AFAB means a person that was born female; AIAB means a person that was born intersex. I chose a question mark for c!Callahan's AGAB because we basically know nothing about their character and their irl self.

Also as a reminder these are CHARACTER headcanons and NOT content creator, do NOT speculate actual people's sexualities and gender identities!!!

(Also its kinda sad to know that most of these people I dont even watch anymore, really the only ones I watch now are wilbur, dadza, techno, tommy, charlie, jack, and on rare occasions i watch the dream team, eret, tubbo, and quackity but even then I rarely watch tommy now, maybe its because im getting older? I honestly dont know why :( )

[desiccatedwithering]

The others are fine-tuning the plan, and Steve, for once, is grateful that they haven’t bothered to ask for his input. He wouldn’t have anything useful to say. Not now, when stress and fear are a rope around his neck, choking him more and more as they close the distance back to Hawkins. Not when he can see a hundred different ways that this could go wrong, could all come crashing down on their heads. Not now, when Robin’s concern is rattling around in his head, when it’s taken on a life of its own, shaking him and screaming, “Someone is going to die!”

They’re spread too thin, fighting on too many fronts. They’re not being smart about this. But he’s dumb, too dumb to figure out a solution, too dumb to offer up anything other than “No, no, no, this will get everyone killed.”

The thought of leaving Max and Lucas and Erica alone makes his teeth hurt, makes him genuinely sick to his stomach. They’re children.

And worse than that, Lucas and Erica are both associated with Hellfire now. The whole town will be hunting them, out for blood. What if Erica gets spotted? Jason wasn’t afraid to get in Nancy’s face in public, and Mike’s in fucking California right now, couldn’t possibly be involved with helping Eddie. So what will he do if he finds the Sinclairs, in the middle of the night, all alone, with Max in a trance?

Steve should stay with them. Keep them safe.

But—

Vecna—or Henry or One, whatever—he’s like El. Sure, he’ll be in a trance when they get to the house, but once they light him on fire? He’s gonna wake up, and he’s gonna be pissed. And Steve isn’t sure how much help he’d be against someone with superpowers, but three against one is better odds than two against one. (And a part of him thinks he’s justified in worrying that a gun might not do much, not when the Upside Down has apparently transformed him into an even bigger monster. Bullets didn’t stop the demogorgon. Who says they’ll stop Vecna, even if he used to be a normal man?)

And then there’s Eddie and Dustin, and he can almost convince himself that they’ll be safe. But the wounds in his sides are throbbing in time with his heartbeat, and he knows that Dustin is loyal to a fault—“You die, I die”—and for all Eddie’s talk of being a coward, Steve knows that he isn’t, and—

Fuck it.

The others are so caught up in rehashing the plan that they don’t even notice that he’s gone off course until he’s parked and marching out of the RV.

“Wh— Steve! What are—?”

“I’ll be right back, Rob. Two minutes.”

“Where—?” The rest of Eddie’s question is cut off as the RV door swings shut.

Steve jogs up the drive, gritting his teeth at the flare of pain in his sides, and pounds on the door. “Tommy? You home, man? It’s Steve!”

A moment later, the door is yanked open, Tommy spitting, “What the fuck, Steve? You—” He stops abruptly, eyes raking over Steve from head to toe and back again. “Fuck, Steve, you look like hell. What happened?”

Steve grimaces. He doesn’t bother to answer the question; there’ll be time to explain later, if he’s right about this. God, he hopes he’s right about this.

Carol appears behind Tommy—which is a relief; he’d hate to have to do this twice—and gives Steve the same once over, eyes narrowing. She opens her mouth, closing it again when he shakes his head slightly.

“I hate to do this,” he says, “but you remember the promise we made? When we were nine?”

Tommy’s eyes widen, and his shoulders go rigid. “Steve?” he asks, and he sounds— fuck, he sounds terrified. Steve closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath so he doesn’t turn tail and run. He prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that it’ll be enough. (A tiny, selfish, awful part of him almost hopes that it won’t. But he squashes that voice down. They don’t have another choice; they need more help.)

Carol pushes past him, reaching out for the hem of Steve’s shirt and lifting it delicately. Steve doesn’t protest. Her mom’s a nurse; she’s always been able to tell when he’s hurt and hiding it. No point trying to conceal gaping holes in his sides if he couldn’t sneak something as minor as a sprained wrist past her.

She clearly wasn’t expecting it to be this bad, though. She gasps, her hands trembling where they hold his shirt. “How—? Who—?”

“What the fuck?” Tommy asks, face pale, expression queasy.

Steve knows how it looks, the massive blooms of blood soaking into the makeshift bandage. (He’d say it looks worse than it is, but it honestly hurts like a bitch.)

“I’m sorry,” he says, sure that remorse is bleeding from every pore. He hates, hates, hates himself for dragging someone new into this mess yet again. “But I could really use some help.”

“Fuck, Steve. Of course,” Carol says instantly, looking like she’s about to march off to track down whoever did this to him and make them pay.

Steve glances at Tommy again. His jaw is clenched and his hands are balled into fists at his sides, but he meets Steve’s eyes and nods. “Whatever you need.”

“It’s dangerous. Deadly,” Steve says, almost frantic. As much as he needs their help, he needs them to understand what they’re getting into. “You might not—”

“Steve,” Tommy says. His hand comes up in a familiar move, then stops just in front of Steve’s shoulder, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to touch. “We made a promise.”

Steve nods, throat too tight to say anything. He’s distantly aware that tears are welling in his eyes, but he doesn’t bother trying to hide them. All he can do is close the scant distance between them, leaning into the pressure of Tommy’s hand almost desperately, hoping the gesture shows even a fraction of his gratitude.

Tommy nods back and repeats, “Whatever you need, Stevie.”

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 7: Pancakes and Meatloaf

Prove Me Wrong Masterlist

Summary: Billy meets Jess's cat, has dinner with her family, and seems to have a fine day, but Neil makes sure to ruin it.

Warnings: Neil making an appearance again. Child abuse. Mentions of hitting/slapping. Physical harm. Mental and verbal abuse. Threatening. Swearing. Please let me know if I missed anything. Also, not proofread.

Word Count: 5.6k

Author's note: This chapter goes out to my kitty, Waffle, who recently passed away. He was my homeboy since 5th grade, and though I renamed him in this pic considering the Stranger Things universe already had its own eggo enthusiast, he will always be my #1 waffle lover.

As always, eff Neil.

Jess dreaded the next morning, as she was convinced she needed to spend less time with Hargrove than she had allowed herself the past four days. Has it really only been four days? This realization made her even more disgusted with herself. She just needed time away from him, that was it. Then everything would be back to normal. Back to how it should be. But when she walked out of her house, towards the blue Camero, four muffins in hand, Billy made it quite difficult to ignore him, as she intended on doing the rest of the day. 

“Hey there, gorgeous.” She willed herself not to smile softly as she would have a few days ago, and simply distributed the muffins evenly, not making a sound as she lowered herself into the passenger seat. “You eat already, Logan?” He was now teasing her, as she had forgotten to feed herself just yesterday. Instead of answering him with words, she simply nodded her head and then proceeded to look out the passenger window. Billy only looked at her for a moment, taking notice of how she shifted herself away from him. “Alright.”

He took his time driving this morning, not speeding to their shared campus as he normally did. The music was not as loud and instead acted as background noise to the awkward silence of their ride to school. Max also seemed to sense something was off, as she shifted uncomfortably in the middle seat and made it a point not to give Billy any shit this morning. When the car was parked, Max wasted no time with her getaway. Not leaving enough time for Jess to unbuckle herself and exit first, Max climbed over the middle console as she did yesterday, and left using the passenger door, leaving it open for Jess. She saw this as an opportunity to leave as well, but when she finally released the seatbelt and began to step out, Billy stopped her, grasping at her elbow bend, careful not to hold on too hard, allowing her to break free if she needed. “You good?” 

“Yup. See you later, Hargrove.” The way she answered told him otherwise, but he didn’t push further, considering they were now at school, with a potential audience if things went south. He chalked it up to her still being stressed over derivatives and didn’t put it passed her to have picked up her notebook last night and continue studying, even when Billy advised her to rest.

She’s just tired. And he was right, she was tired, but not because she had spent the whole night studying, but instead, spent the whole night thinking about him, thinking about everything he has done and said, every smile she had received from him these past few days, which ones were fake, and which ones were genuine. She had dissected everything that went on between the two of them, looking for any hint of insincerity, sure she would find something, and when she didn’t, it drove her even more mad, coming to the conclusion that she was delusional. 

“Yeah, see you.” He said too late, she was already closing the door as the words were forced out of his mouth. His eyes followed her as she raced toward Steve, who seemed to be always waiting for her. Just for her. He took a long drag from a now-lit cigarette and finally broke his gaze from the pair to a different group, Tommy Hagen and Carol Perkins, who also seemed interested in the previous pair Billy was just spying on. Carol seemed to be nudging Tommy, pointing meaningfully at Jess as she whispered, causing Tommy’s eyes to widen and nod in what looked like agreeance to Billy. Sighing, he took one last drag of his cigarette and ashed it in his tray where he left the remaining half for later. 

As he began to walk toward the two, Carol quickly closed the gap between the two, making sure she informed Billy of what she just realized. “Looks like Tommy was right after all,” is all she said at first, believing Billy would clue into whatever the hell they were talking about based on that one sentence. 

“What?” 

“Your little girlfriend is wearing Harrington’s sweater, how cute.” Tommy now chimed in, which was enough to jog his memory of their conversation last Friday morning. This caused him to snap his head back over to the two a bit harsher than he calculated, which he hoped his friends didn’t notice. He didn’t take it for someone else’s at first, as it fit her perfectly, slightly loose, but not by any means baggy. It was a blue-green raglan sweater, seams visible only at the shoulders, and now looking at it, the arms were much longer than they should be on her, while she seemed to stretch the chest out slightly. In other words, it most likely wasn’t hers. The left side of his mouth ticked downward, as he scrunched his nose and cleared his throat, spitting unnecessarily to the right of his stance. 

“Bitch ain’t my girlfriend.” He then began to head toward the building’s entrance, interested in leaving with or without Hagen and Perkins, but of course, they followed him. 

“I’m throwing a party at my place Friday,” Carol piped up, already bored of the prior topic, something Billy was grateful for.  “Parents are going on some holiday skiing trip. You in?” He simply grunted in response. Of course he was in. 

“Cool, later.” And with that, she left the two boys, probably eager to spread the news of her having the house to herself this weekend. As she went from person to person, requesting them to “tell everyone” while dodging those that, according to her, didn’t need to come, Carol spotted her next target. 

Jess’s locker suddenly slammed shut, Carol Perkin’s hand stretched across the door. 

“Carol…” 

“Mrs. Harrington. My, you look super cute today.” Carol was now fingering her, or rather, Steve’s sweater, smiling knowingly. 

“What are you going on about?” Jess was already walking away from her locker, eager to get to her first period. 

“So, what is going on with you and Harrington?” 

“You’re out of touch, Carol.” 

“Not my fault someone doesn’t keep me in the loop anymore.” When Jess decidedly ignored this comment, Carol continued, “I’m having a party this Friday, or are you too cool to come?”

“Yeah, right, like you want me there.”

“Hey, you stopped hanging with us, or do you not remember?” Carol was now blocking Jess’s walking path, seemingly knowing the pathway she needed to take to her first period, looking annoyed and, surprisingly, hurt, an emotion she only showed briefly before shaking it away entirely. Again, Jess said nothing, so Carol continued, moving out of her way so that they could walk side by side, as they used to when walking to class. “You know, I figured it was your bible-thumping weirdos that made you quit hanging out, since we’re ‘bad influences’, but apparently, it turns out you don’t exactly hang out with them either.” 

“What’s your point, Carol?” 

“Seems like Steve Harrington is the only good enough friend for you. I mean, he must be since you’ve completely isolated yourself from everyone else.” Jess wished that this was the case, that for some reason, she’d randomly decided that Steve Harrington would be her only friend, that she was choosing to cut off everyone else. That would have made it easier. The truth was, she tried this year, really tried to go back to normal, as nothing different happened. That Hawkins was just Hawkins, that she wasn’t burdened by this incredible secret. And then it happened again. All. Over. Again. And there were only a few people she didn’t have to pretend with. Carol Perkins wasn’t one of them. And after what happened between her, Tommy, and Steve last year, it seemed there was no use trying again. 

“I’ll be there,” is what Jess was able to muster up, unwilling and unable to confront the current topic. 

Carol looked her up and down. “Wear something cute, you’re better than this. And tell Harrington.” Their shoulders softly brushed against each other as Carol turned around to walk in the opposite direction, and Jess was once again alone in a crowded hallway. 

Fourth-period practice was awful. As expected, Alicia did leave a detailed note of yesterday’s after-school practice, and Coach was not happy. Not happy at all. 

---

“Since SOME OF YOU are uninterested in our SCHEDULED afternoon practices, looks like we’ll ALL be having an unscheduled one this afternoon. I hope you girls like running because you’ll be doing A LOT of it after school.” As they were currently in the gym, the boys, who pretended they weren’t paying attention, heard every last word. Some snickers were exchanged at the girls’ expense, causing some dirty looks to get thrown the boys’ way.  

By the end of practice, they were a sweaty mess, Coach not easing up on their current practice either, practically pushing them passed their limits as punishment. Showers and reapplication of makeup were in order for many of the girls, causing them to take longer coming out of the gym than the boys this time around. Billy left the locker room after Steve, who was already waiting outside the gym doors for Jess, Jason and Patrick making small talk with him while they waited. Billy eyed the three boys, sticking his left hand in his jean pocket, running his right hand through his hair, and then began cracking his knuckles with his thumb. Steve stared at him apprehensively, considering he was normally long gone by now, walking to the cafeteria. Just then Chrissy walked through the doors and turned to Steve, who was now looking at her, “She’s almost done.” As if on cue, Jess came through the doors, hair now thrown in the same banana clip as last night. 

As Steve began to open his mouth, Billy beat him to the punch, “Hey, Logan.” Steve shot his head in Billy’s direction, unsure he heard that right. Jess also seemed caught off guard, but gave Steve a quick look, telling him “One minute”, and walked over to Billy. 

“Yeah?” She whispered this question, not meaning to be so quiet. Jess swiftly looked over her shoulder, and then back at Billy. Steve and the rest were barely out of earshot, causing Billy to also lower his voice, though not as much as Jess. 

“You still need a ride, right?” 

“Uhh.” Jess had yet to think about how her extra, unplanned practice was going to affect her after-school plans. “If you can’t it’s okay, I’m sure Steve-“ 

“I’ll be in the car. Don’t run too slow, Logan.” He then looked back over at Steve, who had yet to take his eyes off him, and nodded at him slightly, causing Steve to squint his eyes defensively. With that, Billy then walked in the direction of the cafeteria. 

Confused as to why he couldn’t have waited till their 6th or 7th period to go over their plans, she stood there for a moment, watching Billy walk away from her. Her gaze slipped away when she felt Steve standing right next to her. “What was that all about?” 

“Just letting me know I still had a ride, I guess?” This made Steve cross his arms, now both of them looking in Hargrove's direction again. 

Patrick, unaware of any tension, was now becoming impatient. “So are we eating or what?” 

---

“If you don’t make it in eighteen minutes, you’ll be running it AGAIN.” 

All the girls were dressed in their matching cheer sweatsuits, as it was much too cold for their regular attire, running around the track. Jess was nearing the end of her two-mile, feeling her right knee close to giving out. It began to tighten, making bending it nearly impossible, let alone putting weight on it. Only one lap left. She began hobbling slightly, pulling the right pants leg along with every step to be sure she would not have to endure another eighteen minutes of absolute hell. She was one of the only girls left on the track, which was, as always, disheartening. She hated the tightness she felt in her chest when she ran and always wondered if the other girls felt the same way. As she was rounding the last corner, she happened to look over at the bleachers, and to her horror, Billy Hargrove was leaning against them. She sprinted the last 100 meters, dragging her right leg with the same side arm. 

“17:46. I expect a faster time from my co-captains.” But, at this moment, Jess didn’t care. All she wanted was her second shower of the day and to finally be able to stretch out her knee. As she was exiting the track gate, Hargrove began moving toward her, smirk growing as she watched her shuffle away. 

“Jesus, Jess, looks like you’re falling apart.” He then nodded at her leg, continuing to eye her injury as she limped. “You get that from cheer?” 

“Nuh-uh, it’s older. Happened when I was a kid.” But when Billy began to open his mouth to ask what happened, she turned toward the back gym entrance, “I really need a shower, I’ll meet you at your car.” 

Jess quickly showered off what remained from her run, and quickly threw her still-wet hair up in the scrunchy that was previously holding her hair back. She threw on for the third time today Steve’s blue sweater and her own 401 jeans, quickly retied her old Nikes, and exited the locker room, heading toward the front parking lot entrance, bag swung haphazardly over her right shoulder. 

When she peeled the glass door open, she saw Billy leaning against the driver’s side, cigarette lit. He didn’t seem to notice her exit at first, and instead, was focused on the pavement. It was only when he heard the scuffing of her shoes did he look, slightly frowning when he took in her outfit. 

He flicked his red down and stomped it out, motioning his nod to the passenger door, which Jess figured meant “get in”. Billy turned the key over but didn’t speed off the way he normally did, looking out at the now abandoned student lot, with the exception of a few cars. He kept his eyes forward before starting back to the conversation before school. “What was with you this morning.” He didn’t state it as a question, he didn’t want her to lie to him again, didn’t want to leave room for her to. He knew something was different, being able to look back at yesterday morning and not recognize who entered his car this morning. Or rather, he did recognize this morning’s version, but it was the same girl that had met him on Sunday afternoon, and the same girl who avoided him every day before their shared project. 

“What do you mean?” Jess gave Billy a look of mock confusion, but her eyes gave her away, which were more aggressive than usual as if she were annoyed they were again having this conversation. 

“You seemed off, but what do I know, right?” Jess only shrugged, causing Billy to nod his head in disappointment and peel out of the parking spot he occupied. They drove in silence for a moment, no music playing in the background this time. Jess stared out at the now bare trees, their leaves now covering the grass and paved roads. She then peaked at Billy, who was caught looking at her but didn’t turn away when he was realized, only glancing in front of him when he needed to watch the road.  

“Billy, I’m just tired alright? You don’t need to be all weird about it.” 

“Oh, I’m being weird.” He smiled teasingly at Jess but stopped when she didn’t return the gesture. “You hear about Carol’s party?” When Jess nodded, he continued to ask, “You goin’?”

“I mean, I said I would, so probably.”

“You tell Harrington?” 

“Yeah, I told him in Spanish.” 

“He takin’ you?” Billy only looked out at the road when he asked, wanting to seem uninterested in the answer, that they were just making small talk. But an unspoken question lingered in his tone, a question that stayed with Billy for the remainder of the day after realizing whose clothes you were wearing. 

“I’m sure he would if I asked,” Jess answered this way, giving Billy an out, allowing him to be able to arrive by himself as he always did and take whatever girl home, as he, also, always did. 

“I’m sure he would.” His statement was stiffened with skepticism. Though wanting to offer her a ride instead, he decided he wouldn’t, as he was beginning to question whether he was starting to look desperate to be around her, and Billy Hargrove was never desperate. 

They finally pulled into her driveway, Billy immediately turning out the key once the car was parked. “We got a lot of studying to do if you’re gonna get that ‘B’ on Friday.” And with that, he exited, already heading toward the doorway. 

The smell of meatloaf hit both Jess and Billy as soon as the front door was pulled open, causing Jess’s growling stomach to become audible to those close to her, which wasn’t surprising due to the extra amount of “activity” forced onto her by her coach. 

As if reading her mind, Mrs. Logan shouted from the kitchen, “You kids hungry? Dinner’s just about done!” Jess looked over to Billy, unsure if he was willing to eat with her family, as this was unmarked territory for the both of them, having Billy share a meal with both of her parents. 

Billy looked down at Jess and coolly replied to her look of concern. “I could eat.” Before sitting at the dining table, Billy went over to Mrs. Logan and offered to help bring any dishes to the table, which made Jess watch them carefully, unwilling to have what happened the first time he met her mother happen again. But the offer seemed genuine enough that Jess allowed herself to look away and place her bag by the edge of the steps, ready for her to pick up and ascend to her room when it was time. She offered to take Billy’s bag as well, placing it near hers when he handed it to her. 

When Billy joined Jess at the table empty-handed, she assumed that her mother shooed him away, not allowing their guest to help, as she barely allowed her husband to help in the kitchen. He kept staring at the placemat in front of him, unsure of what to do next. His hands fidgeted with one another underneath the table. He was unwilling to admit it, but her was nervous, to say the least. He couldn’t remember the last time he sat at the dinner table with his own family, let alone someone else's. His mind eased, however, when he heard a familiar purring at his feet. There was the same cat, an overweight, orange tabby, who was now rubbing against his leg, seemingly begging for attention. “Hey there big guy.” 

“His name’s Pancake. Because when I first got him, he literally stole a whole pancake from me.” 

“Makes sense, he’s definitely shaped like one.”

Jess elbowed the side of his left arm. “Leave Pancake alone. He’s a good boy, aren’t you, Pancake?” As if he understood, he sent a tiny “meow” in her direction. 

“Alrighty, soup’s on!” Mr. Logan was now placing a narrow dish, recently out of the oven, in front of the two teenagers, making sure to place a flat oven mitt underneath first. Mrs. Logan then followed behind with a bowl full of homemade mashed potatoes, complete with garlic butter and a hint of parsley for color. 

“This smells and looks great, Mrs. Logan, thanks.”

“Oh, you can call me Beverly.” 

“Or you can keep calling her Mrs. Logan, that’s fine too,” Jess said under her breath, eyeing Billy knowingly. 

Mrs. Logan was too busy setting up the table to hear her disapproving comment, but Billy wasn’t, and to mess with her he responded, “Well then thank you, Beverly.” He then suddenly felt a strong kick underneath the table, effortlessly striking his shin. As he grimaced, a loud “REOWW” was heard, with Pancake disappearing into the living room. 

“You kids all right?”

“Yeah Mom, I think Billy just scared him.” She now turned her attention to Billy, “I’d be careful around Pancake, he isn’t declawed.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” He returned sarcastically. 

As both her parents took their seats, Jess habitually bowed her head, but the Logan’s normal routine of saying grace was replaced by a casual “dig in”, which caused Jess to give her mother a questioning look. 

“We have a guest.” Jess quickly nodded and did as she was told, grateful she didn’t have to wait any longer to fill her stomach. 

Everything tasted how it looked, delicious. And after many forkfuls of his own food, Mr. Logan began to ask questions about their shared assignments. “How’s the reading coming along?” 

Jess took it upon herself to answer all the questions, which Billy was thankful for, not knowing how long he would have been able to keep conversation going. She, in detail, described what their essay would be about, how much they have read so far, graciously leaving out how they’ve read so far, and how he was also helping her in math, something that Mr. Logan found interesting. 

“So you’re good at math, Billy?” 

“Try to be, sir.” 

“That’s good. I’ve heard your sister is quite good at it too.” At this, Billy turned to Jess, slightly confused, but when Jess returned his look of confusion, he quickly realized she was not the one talking about his family. Their shared looks made Mr. Logan chuckle. “Your dad and I work at the same bank, son.” 

“Oh.” This information made his stomach flip, causing him to be uncomfortable where he sat. He began shifting in his seat, attempting to still look Mr. Logan in the eyes during their conversation. 

As they finished their dinner, Billy insisted on at least carrying the dirty dishes to the sink, but once that was done, Both Mr. and Mrs. Logan ordered that they retreat upstairs to start their studying. Jess made sure to grab her bag, reminding Billy of his as well, and they went up the steps together. 

When they had finally entered her bedroom, Jess was already giving Billy an annoyed glance. He decided to put a close to her irritation, “Jess I wasn’t flirting with your mother this time.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

He then raised his right hand, tracing across over the left side of his chest, as he did the first time he visited, “Cross my heart.”

“Hope to die?” 

“Doesn’t everyone?”

Jess rolled her eyes at his quick remark but figured he meant his promise, and she continued with their plans for the evening. “So, The Iliad or derivatives, take your pick.”

“Whatever you want, princess.” He was busy eyeing her childish teddies along the far wall of her room, occasionally running his fingers along the ears, many of them wearing various cheer outfits, complete with pom poms, which made Billy chuckle. What caught his attention, however, was a picture of a much younger Jess, with a white long sleeve, the number 07 written in black on her torso, the word “Broncos” written above the number in the same color, complete with a pair of spandex and kneepads. “You played?” Billy now had the frame in his hand, facing it toward Jess as if to explain why he was suddenly asking her questions. 

“That was a long time ago.” 

“Were you any good?” 

“Honestly? Yeah. Really good.” 

He set the frame back down in front of another frame, which was slightly longer, and had depicted about a dozen girls, all wearing the same uniform Jess had in the previous picture. He searched for her in the group photo and when he found her, he turned back to the now older version. “Why aren’t you on the Hawkins team then?” But before she could answer, Billy suddenly turned back to her solo picture, and reread the mascot name on her jersey. “The Broncos? I thought Hawkins middle school were The Cubs?” 

“I went to middle school a couple towns over.” Jess had her copy of The Iliad already out, opened to where they stopped last Saturday. “You ready to get started?” 

“You deciding you don’t need me anymore, Logan?” 

Billy was not as eager to start on the reading as Jess was and was hoping she would have chosen him to tutor her in math instead, considering how stressed the epic poem made him.  “Like you said, I’ll figure it out by Wednesday.” She gave him a quick smile, ensuring it didn’t linger longer than being friendly, and gestured for him to sit next to her, which he did after he retrieved the annotated copy from his bag. As Billy sat, she shifted slightly, scooting away from him when he got closer. However, Billy didn’t seem to notice, as he was too engaged in Jess’s old notes. 

“Now pleasing sleep had seal’d each mortal eye, Stretch’d in the tents the Grecian leaders lie…”

She read this way for the next few hours, Billy quietly listening, occasionally glancing up to watch her read, something she would sometimes catch, but willed herself to not acknowledge them, as, she believed, that’s all they were: glances. They continued this way, him admiring her, her pretending not to notice him, with the occasional questions Billy had about the text interrupting their game. When the clock turned 9:45, Billy interjected Jess’s reading one last time. 

“We can pick this up tomorrow. But Thursday I have to finish my research paper for U.S History,” Jess began to explain, putting away her book and taking her physics packet in the process, “And since we’ll be… busy… Friday, I’m thinking we can just write the paper this weekend. Or I can just do it if-“

“I’m free this weekend.” Billy intended to keep his promise, to not push all the paperwork on Jess, even though he was unsure how useful he’d be in writing an essay. 

“Okay, Saturday then? Since you know, you work and all…” 

“See you tomorrow, Logan.” 

Billy softly closed her door, then began down the steps, his bag swinging in his left hand, his right hand holding onto his pack of Reds in his denim pocket. Her parents were no longer in the kitchen, nor the living room, so he took it upon himself to lock the bottom lock, closing the front door afterward. He climbed into his car, wearing a crooked smile, turned the key, and blasted his heat. Once his door was closed, he lit what he believed would be his last cigarette of the night, and trapped it between his lips before he pulled out and made the short drive back home. Before pulling up his own driveway, he was sure to turn off his headlights to avoid illuminating the living room, hoping not to wake anyone who may be asleep. Once parked he finished his Marlboro inside his car, taking his time, before it was time to leave the safety of his car and enter his father’s domain. He still held the smile on his face, reminiscing over his previous meal, but when he opened the front door to find Neil standing, facing the door, with Max sitting on the couch, also now staring at the door wide-eyed, he quickly dropped his smile, along with any hope of going to sleep any time soon. 

“So,” Neil remained unmoved, staring blankly at his son, “you’re too good to bring Maxine home from school now, hmm?” 

Billy looked from Max back to his father, who was still staring at him with the same wooden expression. It made his heart drop, as he always knew what came after his father proved his vacancy for emotion, the emptiness would be replaced with something else, something that wanted to prove to Billy that he was nothing. That he would always be nothing. 

Instead of Billy responding, Max did, attempting to diminish the tension, “I told you, I’m fine. I like skating sometimes and my friends were-“

“Quiet, Maxine. I was asking your brother.” The calmness in his voice made both children shiver. Neil was now walking toward him and only stopped before the tip of his nose reached the bridge of Billy’s. “Why don’t you go back to your room.” He was still addressing Max, who looked to be opening her mouth to protest until Billy locked eyes with her and shook his head painfully slow, hoping to not tip off his father about their nonverbal conversation.

For fucks sake Max, don’t make it worse.

When her footsteps were no longer audible, Neil continued. “So. Why is it, on a day you don’t have practice, did you allow your sister to skate home?” 

“Dad, come on, I had shit to take care of, okay? I got this English project and she even said her friends were with her. It’s not like she was fending for herself out there.” 

“Oh no, I saw who brought her home, Billy.” The color began to drain from his face as he tried to look anywhere but at Neil. “It’s your responsibility to bring her home. Isn’t that right?” 

“Dad I-“ Neil’s first strike to his face caught him off guard, his balance failing him as he teetered to his right. Once he caught himself, however, he was met with another blow to his lip, which connected much harder than the last. Neil shook his head in disappointment, annoyed that he had to do that. 

“That wasn’t a question, son.” Billy was now backed into the door, silently begging to materialize at the other side of it. The way Neil spat out his name for him, son, it made him want to return to the Logan’s, back to the dinner table with Mr. Logan, who made the name seem more endearing. “I’m tired of this attitude, thinking you can do what you want, that you can talk back.” He was becoming louder, more unhinged. 

“I’m s-sor-“

“HMM?” 

“I’m sorry sir.” He dared look into his father’s eyes when he said this, knowing it would only anger him further if this requirement was not meant.  

Neil then backed away from him, contemplating his apology. “I don’t. Ever. Want to see that shit again, you understand me?” When Billy nodded, Neil turned away from him. “Clean this shit up. Since you can’t even bother showing up to dinner anymore.” Neil gestured to the dining room, then retreated to his own room, slamming the door for good measure, indifferent about whether Susan could have been asleep. There was a single dish left on the table, a beer can sitting next to it. Billy willed the numbness in his legs to retreat back to his chest and began to walk toward the dining table, tossing the can and quickly rinsing off the plate, fork, and steak knife, placing them in the dishwasher once done. He stood there, still in front of the sink, looking out at the small window that was placed above it, only able to see his reflection as it was too dark outside to see anything else. He saw the cut left behind by his father, the redness around it threatening to turn purple any minute. He saw the moisture building under his eyes and the trembling scowl on his face. He saw how unquestionably weak he looked. He struck his palm against the edge of the now clean sink, still staring down his reflection, ordering it to change, but it only became worse, the tears now running down his face.  He couldn’t be here anymore. Not now. 

He retreated back to his car, now allowing his headlights to shine bright, not caring whether they were disrupting. He wouldn’t be coming back tonight anyways. He backed out, tires screeching and music blasting, something he was sure he’d pay for tomorrow if Neil cared to run into him again. He glanced down at his watch, seeing the time read as 11:37. Everything would be closed, this city not even a fraction as lively as SoCal. Billy looked around at the darkened town as he drove, his engine and tape disrupting the silence. He then found the abandoned parking lot, the same one that he allowed Jess to circle just yesterday. He parked but kept the car on, unwilling to turn off the heat, but if he were to sleep there, in his car, as he has done multiple times, he knew he’d have to turn it off eventually. He began to hang his head, tired from tonight’s events, until he decided to once again look at his reflection, pulling at his rearview mirror slightly to do so. His cut was now much more visible than it was in the reflection of the window, angering him, the sleepiness from just moments ago fading. 

“Fuck.” He then struck his palm against his wheel. “FUCK.” He continued to bang against it, his tongue now dripping venom, “FUCK this GODDAMN town. Fuck this. FUCK HE-“ He became incoherent, babbling as he struck his dash now, unable to see clearly through his tears. When he accidentally bumped his horn, he stopped, throwing his head back in his seat. While staring up at nothing, he began to realize he didn’t want to sleep in his cold car. He didn’t want to be alone. And though he knew better, he was blinded by the comfort he had felt only hours before, and because of this, only because of this, Billy began his journey back to Cherry Lane.