#its fine if its not your vibe but neither of these bands are nearly as bad as popular opinion would have you believe

[its-no-biggie]

[listening to my playlist while i drive people home]

my cousin: yknow, this singer kinda sounds like if imagine dragons was good

me, confused, not sure i heard him correctly: what?

him: i said this sounds like if imagine dragons was good

me:

me: this is imagine dragons

[bngtanah]

I’m (not) With The Band. | o7

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: idol!Yoongi  x OC

word count: 4.5k genre: drama, romance, smut(eventually)

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual attraction, ambw, developing relationship, light angst, making out.

a/n: hey. sup. it’s been forever lmao.

"No, no, I want there to be a subtle kind of...sexiness even without the lyrics"

"But I thought we agreed to go for a different feeling?"

"We did...then I changed my mind"

"So, I guess what I want doesn't matter?"

"For this song- no. No, it does not."

Yoongi wanted to be annoyed by her dismissal and deep down he mostly was, Andy was being unnecessarily difficult with the direction of their latest music-related venture, and although she had shot down nearly all of his ideas today, Yoongi still found himself bowing to her will instead of arguing with her like he usually would whenever she batted those big green eyes at him. He was fairly certain that she wasn't doing this on purpose, enticing him so that he would continue to remain entranced by her attractive features and intoxicating smile, even if she wasn't aware of what she was doing, the results were still the same. She already had him wrapped around her finger without even realizing it and Yoongi hated being so damn malleable. 

Today was another day off for the group but with the limited time and amount of preparation they still had to go through t in order to be ready to release their album on time, no one in the group had the luxury of lounging around doing nothing  like they had been doing the past few days. Everyone was either practicing, giving interviews or helping out with lyrics for the few songs that were already completed and approved leaving Andy and Yoongi alone in an empty dorm to get some actual work done. They opted out of working at the studio since it was already crowded with Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok using the computer and mic, Yoongi knew that the dorm would be empty for most of the day, so it gave them a chance to work in peace.

"Look," Adrienne sighed and leaned back on her elbows, they were seated on Yoongi's bed and much closer than they needed to be "I'm sure whatever you're thinking is great but if you guys really want to go for a more mature image with this album you need a song like this. The kind of song that will give you the confidence to strip and give your boyfriend a lap dance even if you can't dance for shit." Adrienne exhaled sharply and glanced up at the ceiling, looking wistful. She wasn't looking at Yoongi, and she hadn't been since she started speaking, but if she was she probably would have noticed the way his eyes ping-ponged between the slight amount of cleavage peeking out of the top of her v-neck and her plump lips that curled into a seductive smile when she spoke that last sentence.

Something about the way she said the previous sentence, however, must’ve given too much of her desire away, because he froze when she exhaled, just to stare her down. When Adrienne finally did glance to the side she flinched slightly under his intense glare but didn't back away.

"Sorry, was that too much? I talk without thinking sometimes..."

"No... that's not-"

It seemed Yoongi hadn’t truly been paying attention to what she was saying before, but now he would have been hanging on her every word if she had the courage to say anything else, instead, they just stared at each other, neither one moving an inch until one of Adrienne's braids fell into her face and Yoongi raised his fingers and brushed the back of his knuckles across her cheek to put it back in place.

His movements were gentle, so gentle that Adrienne could barely breathe– the moment stretched out for so much longer than seemed appropriate, allowing Adrienne to become lost in her thoughts and the realization of just how much she wanted his lips on her to hit her with a heavy awareness. Andy broke under the thought and found herself leaning forward to just do it, to just kiss him like she had wanted to for so much longer than she cared to think about. Yoongi leaned forward as well, the hand that was caressing her cheek moving down to her neck to securely keep her head where he wanted it to be. Eyelids hooded and lips just a few inches apart, their breathing intermingled as they drew closer and closer to their intended goal. Weeks of flirting and mutually explosive tension bubbling just under the surface was just seconds from reaching its peak....until hearing the door handle jiggle broke apart their fantasy.

Suddenly the front door opened, and the sound of Jin's voice blending together with Jungkook's caused the enamored pair to spring apart, quite literally, with Yoongi rolling further into the center of his bed and Adrienne tumbling from the bed to the ground, landing flat on her ass.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asked quickly, peering over the edge as Adrienne nodded and rubbed the sore spot on her hip where she landed.

"I'm fine, just a little bruise-" She responded with a groan then looked up, the moment between them was long from being forgotten and that was evident in the way Yoongi still peered down at her like he wanted to devour her right then. But, Jin and Jungkook making their presence known in the hallway outside Yoongi's bedroom made them break contact and swiftly pretend to be working, Andy grabbing her notebook off the edge of the bed and Yoongi mindlessly pressing keys on his laptop as the two young men hovered around the entrance and inquired about how their work was going.

"Yoongi's being stubborn, and I am making amazing music, so it's just like always," Adrienne commented from the floor, earning a chuckle from both Jin and Jungkook and an agitated smirk from the target of her jeer.

"Ah, well we won't distract you, keep working hard!" Jin stated as he began to usher Jungkook out the door, who was on the verge of complaining.

"Oh no! You can stay!" Adrienne replied, too quickly, and shot out her hand to stop them from leaving "It would be nice to hear some feedback." She wasn't too certain about being left alone with Yoongi after what had almost happened just a few seconds earlier, even with her sitting on the floor now there was no guaranteeing she wouldn't lose her senses again and do something stupid like try to kiss her coworker.

"Are you sure won't we be in the way?" Jin asked in part, allowing Jungkook to finish off the question even though he was already walking back towards Jin's bed and sitting down. Both of them glanced back and forth from Adrienne to Yoongi for an answer, before finally settling on Yoongi.

"It's fine," he grumbled from behind his laptop screen, "Just try not to make too much noise."

They, of course, did the opposite of what he asked.

Yoongi slammed the door of the Bangtan room so hard Adrienne swore she could hear the frosted glass crack and shatter when he entered the room. She didn't even bother swiveling around in her chair when she heard him come in since she already knew what was bothering him. Yoongi had a meeting with the boss today about a few songs he'd submitted on his own for approval and, judging by his reaction, it probably hadn't gone well.

It was always interesting (terrifying) to see Yoongi so genuinely angry, he was usually so calm and unconcerned by small or big things, but when it came to his music he quite literally wore his emotions on his sleeves and it barely took much to ignite a blaze of fire within him.

"Yoongi-ssi?" Adrienne called as she heard his pacing back and forth behind her.

No answer.

"Are you alright?" Adrienne decided to ask once again when he took a seat on the couch and began running both of his hands down the length of his face. 

"Do I seem alright to you?" Yoongi snapped with his face still buried in his hands, his knee was bouncing up and down so quickly it warbled his voice and Adrienne couldn't even find herself becoming offended by his curt reply.

"You don't," Adrienne answered as she spun around to face Yoongi, "That's why I'm asking if you are. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but don't come in here disrupting my time with your bad vibes if just going to be an asshole."

Yoongi puffed up almost immediately, his chest inflating with arrogance and his lips twisting into an aggravated scowl. He looked up, ready to dispute his right to be an asshole whenever he wanted to be, but once his eyes met Adrienne's he deflated and glanced to the side with a heavy sigh. He shouldn't be putting his anger off on her, she wasn't the reason he was upset.

"He said no- again!" Yoongi finally replied with an answer that Adrienne already knew, but she nodded anyway, her gaze never leaving his as he began to rant about not being taken seriously. 

"They still look at me and talk to me like I'm still the same kid that auditioned here three years ago, it's fucking humiliating!"

"Did he at least give you some constructive criticism?" Andy asked, trying to remain positive.

"That's not even the point," Yoongi huffed, rising up from his seat, "If it was just about my song not being good enough, I could change that. I can always make better songs but I'm not growing as an artist if I'm constantly being told to write about the same thing in a slightly different way! There are only so many similes and metaphors you can write about someone not loving you the way you love them."

Adrienne frowned and nodded because she understood how he felt. Even when she felt like she didn't know Yoongi as well as she wanted to, it was always very obvious to Adrienne how much his music meant to him, that was something they had in common and it was probably the reason for most of their music-related disagreements. Neither of them would put their name on a project that they didn't know was their absolute best effort.

Yoongi was still pacing  back and forth the length of the small studio room in an attempt to work off all the anger that was building up inside him. He stopped abruptly once he felt Adrienne's arms embrace him from behind and her cheek rest against his shoulder, she was wearing platform sneakers that made her as tall as him.

"Do you really think your boss doesn't respect you?" She asked after a few seconds passed and his harsh breathing had calmed some.

"He's not acting like he does," Yoongi muttered over his shoulder.

"You know that's not what I asked, do you honestly think he doesn't respect you? Would he have given you the responsibility of producing an entire album for your group if he didn't appreciate your talent?" Adrienne inquired and picked her head up off of Yoongi's shoulder.

"...Technically he didn't, he hired you to produce it with me." He said quietly, followed by a pained hiss when Adrienne flicked his earlobe.

"Yah! We're getting along, don't ruin the moment!"

Yoongi smiled, it was small and short-lived but it was the first time he hadn't been scowling since he walked into the room and Andy counted that as a win.

"In all seriousness, I know for a fact that he doesn't think you're still the same kid you were when you were training. You should hear the way he talked about you before I met you guys, it was nauseating. I think he recognizes that you've grown which is why he allowed this opportunity, he also knows what's going to sell so try not to take the rejection too personally."

Yoongi exhaled and pressed his lips together, he knew she was right. He may have been taking this a little too personally, but his music was an extension of him, how could he not? After a second of contemplation, Yoongi turned so that he was facing Adrienne and looped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close to him in a tight hug.

"Thank you," He said gently as they pulled apart and Adrienne smiled widely in response, her grip on his forearms reluctantly growing slack. A moment of charged silence passed between them once again when they were no longer hugging, and Adrienne felt a fleeting sensation of recklessness pass through her once again. They still hadn't talked about what had happened a few days earlier in Yoongi's room, Adrienne was waiting for him to bring it up while being too cowardly to do it herself and Yoongi felt the same way. 

"You should do something," Adrienne spoke first.

"What?" Yoongi asked, clearly confused.

"Your song," Adrienne clarified and backed away to save her own sanity. "You should do something with it if you really like it that much. Maybe you can't put it on an album, but you can always release it for free? Your fans would like that"

"Ah, I don't know about that" Yoongi shook his head and returned to his seat on the couch, "The big reason it can't be included on the album is because of the subject matter....it's kind of suggestive."

Andy shrugged and leaned against the back of the office chair "But it would be nice! Think of your fans."

Adrienne pouted and Yoongi caved.

"Fine, but I need you to sing the chorus, and we can't release it anywhere."

"Me? Why? Can't you use Jimin?"

"He's busy, and I doubt he would be comfortable singing some of the lines."

Adrienne's curiosity was piqued but understood what he meant once they actually began recording the song. The word 'suggestive' would have been the last adjective on Adrienne's mind as she read the lyrics as well as she could and sang along with Yoongi's direction; explicit would have been her first choice. It was a catchy song, that was definitely true, but Adrienne understood immediately why it couldn't be included on the album. They finished the song in just a few takes and quickly got back to working on the album like they were supposed to be. It was well into the night before either of them left for home and Adrienne made a quick stop to one of the few cubicles that were still occupied with someone working. It was an assistant name Soo-Bin whom Adrienne wasn't overly friendly with, but she still knew her by name. She quickly asked to post the cover she'd mixed and arranged for Jungkook before she left for the night since she was going to be there a lot longer than Adrienne was. Soo-Bin agreed, reluctantly, and once it was time for her to go home quickly published the first song that seemed to match the specifications Adrienne described.

She wasn't in the mood to double check.

The next morning Adrienne got ready for work with a heavy heart after waking up to a message from Bang Sihyuk requesting her presence in his office, the second she got to work. She hadn't had a one on one meeting with him since she was hired, and she honestly couldn't think of anything they needed to talk about. She wasn't finished with the latest batch of songs and there was still time for her to send them in, so she knew he couldn't have been moving up the deadline, and anything else pertaining to the album was usually just relayed to her through Yoongi or one of the other staff members. There was only one logical reason Andy could think of for him wanting to meet with her alone and that was to tell her that she was fired. The thought alone nearly made her hyperventilate.

Slowly, Adrienne trudged her way towards Bang Sihyuk's office when she was finally inside the Big Hit building. She paused once she was a few feet away from the office door and noticed a familiar face leaning against the door frame.

"Yoongi-ssi?"

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd get here, you're late today."

"It took me a while to get ready..why are you here? Do you have a meeting today too?"

Yoongi nodded, "Yeah, right now. He wants to talk to both of us."

Adrienne sighed a small breath of relief once Yoongi turned and entered the room before her. If he wanted to talk to both of them at once, then the chances of her being fired seemed to be a lot smaller. Andy soon followed after Yoongi and immediately bowed at a complete 90 degree angle once she was inside, the rules of engagement when it came to her superiors were still foreign to Adrienne, and she wasn't sure if she had to bow once she entered his office, but she didn't want to run the risk of possibly offending her boss.

Bang Sihyuk was in the middle of a phone call when they walked in but motioned for them to side down anyway. Andy and Yoongi exchange a short confused glance but their attention was brought back to their boss once he hung up and cleared his throat.

"I'll be quick about this, I'm sure you're both wondering why I called you here," Andy and Yoongi both nodded simultaneously, "The reason is simple really, I need to have a conversation with you about the nature of your relationship and the easiest way to do that is if you're both here together."

Adrienne was confused, she was sure she heard him correctly but the way he said 'relationship' didn't make sense to her. 

"Now while I suppose I can't outright stop you, I can strongly discourage you from openly dating so early into Yoongi's career. The group is finally gaining some ground in the music business and a scandal like this could derail all the hard work that-"

"I'm sorry, did you say dating?" Adrienne interjected, trying to sound as respectful as possible but she just had to stop him before all his words began to blur together.

"PD-nim, we're not dating" Yoongi spoke up once Bang Sihyuk answered Adrienne's question with a firm nod.

"Are you sure about that? The song that you put up on the blog yesterday seems to very explicitly suggest otherwise. You don't have to lie to me,Yoongi. Honestly, it's better if we get it out in the open now that way I can protect you if I need to in the future." Bang Sihyuk countered with genuine concern in his tone.

"Song? What song?" Adrienne muttered underneath her breath before the wheels in her head finally started turning "Aish! Soo-Bin must have uploaded the wrong song last night, I asked her to upload Jungkook's cover. She must have gotten the files mixed up" She said to Yoongi who nodded and shook his head.

"That song was never meant to be released to the public, sir" Yoongi explained, "It was just something we recorded for fun but I can promise you that we are not dating or anything like that."

"Truthfully, we are not. I don't have a reason to lie to you" Adrienne tacked on.

Bang folded his arms across his stomach and leaned back into his comfy office chair "Good," he said after a few seconds of tense silence "We've already taken the song down but both of you need to be more careful in the future, you can't afford a mistake like this."

"Yes, Sir."

They both thanked him for understanding before he excused them and allowed them to leave. Adrienne dramatically sighed and slumped into the sofa once they reached the studio.

"I can't believe I thought I was going to be fired today."

"Why would you think that?" Yoongi asked from hovering over the computer console.

"I didn't know you were going to be there, I thought he wanted to talk to me alone and that could only mean one thing."

"You shouldn't take things so personally" He snickered, proud of himself for being able to use her own words against her.

Adrienne rolled her eyes, "This not the same thing, my reason is totally valid" She scoffed "Can you believe he thought we were dating, though? There's no way that would ever happen."

Yoongi stopped fidgeting with the keys on the keyboard just long enough to look back at Adrienne who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, her statement had struck a chord in him "No way, huh?"

"Hm? Oh! It's nothing against you I just....I don't think I'm your type" Adrienne said with a humorless laugh as she got up to take a closer look at the books on the shelf against the far wall.

"What does that mean?"

"It...means what I said, I'm not your type," Adrienne answered over her shoulder, completely unaware of the utter disbelief written all over Yoongi's face.

His hand latching onto her wrist took her by surprise and Adrienne gasped softly as she was suddenly being pressed against the wall next to the bookshelf, her body sandwiched between Yoongi and the plaster. His knuckles softly grazed over Adrienne's cheeks just like they had days before but this time, there were no braids obstructing her view to excuse his actions. His move was deliberate, and he made that notion clear as his gaze never left Adrienne's face as his hand moved down to her jawline and the pad of his thumb lightly traced Adrienne's' sharp features.

Yoongi only wanted to make a point; that there was no possible way she wouldn't be his type. However, being so close to her. Feeling her chest rise and fall against his body each time she drew a shallow breath he found it hard to stop himself once he'd started. As if of its own accord his head dipped, and he pressed his lips to hers. His free hand cupped the back of her head, holding her there gently. His kiss was soft and almost chaste to start off with, not forcing Adrienne to give any more than she wanted to, but she soon found herself getting lost in their kiss, her lips returning his actions with as much vigor as she could muster. She couldn’t quite explain the feeling that she had right now, it was as if all the blood had rushed from her head and that she was flying, she felt light and grounded all at the same time. Whatever it was she definitely knew she had a word for it now; right.

As much as she tried to ignore it and push her feelings to the back burner for the sake of her sanity and now career, kissing Yoongi felt right and Adrienne could no longer deny that fact. Her arms gripped tightly around his back as she pulled her head back momentarily to catch her breath, she looked up into Yoongi’s eyes and it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. The slight redness in his cheeks made her grin playfully as she sent her lips plunging back to his, her head shifted to the side with precision as she snaked her tongue past his lips. Yoongi no longer felt the need to be gentle, he put his all into the kiss now, and he let her in, tongues massaging and bodies wrapping up in one another as his hand slid down Adrienne's torso to firmly grasp her hips and hold her steady.

The feeling of her fingernails dragging across the skin of his neck ignited a five-alarm fire within Yoongi and just as quickly and unexpectedly as their kiss started, he ended it. Detaching his hands from her waist and immediately backing away like Adrienne was radioactive.

"I'm sorry," He said breathlessly with his hand covering his slightly swollen lips. "I shouldn't have done that" Yoongi croaked, that one moment was validation of something he'd wanted for such a long time, but he couldn't allow himself to completely abandon his self-control.

"Please, don't apologize," Adrienne answered, still trying to catch her breath "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to kiss me."

"No, I have to because I can't.....we can't...we can't do this Andy!" Yoongi frantically exclaimed, pushing the hair away from his face roughly.

The strength of his response made Adrienne flinch slightly, he wasn't yelling but there was a temper behind his words that she didn't fully recognize, "Okay." She nodded and adjusted her top so that it laid flat over her stomach again. 

"I don't want to sound desperate but why?"

"We just can't," Yoongi exhaled and hung his head low.

"I-is it because I'm black?"

He spun around quickly to face her with his expression contorted in confusion, "What? No!"

"Then what is it?"

Yoongi sighed heavily and took a seat on the sofa then patted the seat next to him and gestured toward Adrienne "Come here."

Adrienne followed his command and occupied the seat next to him, he took both of her hands in his once she was seated.

"You heard what PD-nim said today." He started softly, his thumb gentle caressing the back of her palm. "I have a very demanding job. It's not that I wouldn't want to be with you, but I also want to have a successful career and I don't know if I could handle doing both. I know that seems selfish but I've given up so many things in my life to make sure that I can do this to the best of my abilities and I can't become lenient now, no matter how tempting the thought of this is." He accompanied his words with another gentle stroke against Adrienne's cheek.

"If we got together I wouldn't feel right unless I was giving you every part of me and I can't do that and be good at my job, Andy" He frowned and cradled her face with both of his hands "I have so many goals to accomplish before I can give my heart away and I can't just ask you to wait for me...that wouldn't be fair."

Adrienne bit down harshly on her bottom, she understood where he was coming from. Honestly, she did but still didn't stop her from feeling like he was just admitting to being too afraid to take a risk. She didn't voice her opinion, however, he was bearing his heart to her and accusing him of being a coward would undoubtedly only ensure that he would never do that again.

"I understand," She responded with a tight, forced smile; her palms smoothing up Yoongi's forearms until the rested over his hands "I don't totally agree but I understand, your job is important to you and it wouldn't really be fair for me to ask you to put it on hold." Adrienne leaned forward and pressed her lips against Yoongi's cheek long enough so that her lipstick transferred to leave an outline of her lips against his pale skin.

"If you change your mind you know where to find me."

[pan1c1ng]

remember | beetlejuice x fem!reader

prompt: ❝ i hate getting flashbacks from things i don’t want to remember. ❞

summary: before his inevitable death, the ghost with the most loved a girl. a girl who lost her life too soon. 

warning(s): angst, hair changing!beej, mentions of death, mentions of cancer, cursing

author’s note: i took a different approach with this fic. in this one, beej isn’t born dead. he had a life before dying. i also kinda wanted to set this in the 60′s because i get this vibe from his suit. this also is pretty dark. i was getting kind of tired of writing pure filth so i went with a sad approach. i kinda got the idea of this from listening to twenty one pilots cover of ‘cancer’. so....that should kinda be a give away. let me know if you want more stuff like this! my ask box and dm’s are always open! - maya :)

     there were some days in which beetlejuice wanted to be completely alone. moments when the ghost with the most didn’t want to be bothered. this had been one of those days. it had been about two days since lydia deetz said his name three times. he was certainly glad to have a person around who could see him. a new friend who he related with in the oddest of ways. but, like lydia, sometimes he wanted to be alone. 

      beetlejuice sat on the edge of the roof; his legs kicking the air as they dangled off the side. his hands sat in his lap while his thumbs fiddled with each other. ❝ beej? what are you doing up here? ❞ the sudden voice of the deetz girl interrupted his thoughts. the demon jumped slightly, startled by the sudden appearance. ❝ jesus, lydia‼ don’t scare me like that. ❞ ❝ i scared you? maybe i am getting better at this scare thing. ❞ lydia sat next to him; her legs crossing. it’s then that she notices the small streaks of blue intertwined with his green hair. the single tear that slides down his cheek is wiped away like a flash. he notices her eyes fixated on his hair. 

     ❝ it changes. when i feel different things, the color changes. ❞ beetlejuice sounds embarrassed. ❝ what does blue mean? ❞ she asks. he doesn’t say anything. he had just met this girl. this complete stranger who he had so much in common with. that didn’t matter. he had always told himself to never trust people with emotions. with personal stories that could possibly be a way to strike you down. that was his philosophy. but lydia deetz was different. she might understand. she might be the only person who could understand him. ❝ i hate getting flashbacks from things i don’t want to remember. ❞

—

     ❝ lawrence! put me down! ❞ you screamed at your boyfriend, laughing in the process. he had you thrown over his shoulder. lawrence’s arm wrapped around your legs to keep you from falling. his hair was disheveled slightly after the long and tiring day at his job. he ran around the small apartment that the two of you shared; reaching the bedroom and throwing you down on the mattress. ❝ you’re just too damn cute sometimes, you know that? ❞ his hands rest on the edge of the bed. his voice beginning to sound cracky. he clears his throat. ❝ how many times have i told you to quit smoking? your voice is going to get stuck like that. ❞ lawrence rolled his eyes at your statement. ❝ god, you sound just like my mother. ❞ you laughed at his words. your arms moved to a bending position, making it so you could lean on yourself. he moved towards you, leaning towards your face. he stops himself before making any sudden contact. the anticipation in your mind is taking over. you’re waiting for him to make some sort of move. his eyes go back and forth between your lips and your eyes. ❝ i think i love you. ❞ he whispers. all you can do is smile. and before you can come up with any sort of response, lawrence locks his lips with yours.

—

     ❝ what was her name? ❞ lydia musters a response. she’s intrigued and somewhat astounded by the story; leaning her chin in the palm of her hand. all the poltergeist can do is look at her. he clears his throat. ❝ y/n... ❞ he says it in such a whisper, lydia nearly misses it. she starts to notice that this story is getting very emotional for him, as his hair is almost completely blue. there’s still one or two streaks of green, but it’s getting overpowered fast. beetlejuice goes into the inner pocket of his suit jacket. he fishes out a ring. by the looks of it, it’s old. almost rusted. it’s a simple band. no diamonds. just simple and plain. but it held such a deep meaning.

— 

     lawrence sits in the living room of the house you two had been living in for nearly a year. it was old and rustic and needed a lot of work. which you were gladly willing to take on. his legs are shaking violently; a cigarette resting in between his index and middle finger. he takes a drag from it every 30 seconds. it’s his second pack of the day. in the other hand, rests a simple, silver, wedding band. lawrence has made the decision to propose. to spend the rest of his unnatural born life with you. and now he sits and waits for your arrival home. 

    ❝ lawrence? babes? i’m home. ❞ you call out into the house. he quickly lets the cigarette fall into the ashtray next to him, blowing out the last of the smoke. he quickly gets up from the chair, practically running to the kitchen door from where you enter. he has a smile plastered across his face; fading away as he sees the condition you’re in. you look like yourself. but your eyes are red from the tears you had shed the whole way home. the familiar bags under your eyes are more pronounced and darker than normal. your skin paler than usual, though it had been sunny and warm for the past month. ❝ fucking hell, y/n! are you alright?? ❞ lawrence takes the bags of groceries from your hands and sets them on the counter. you’re perfectly fine at the moment. still standing up straight; though your body feels the weakest it has ever felt.

—

     ❝ she was sick. some shit with her lungs. turned out to be cancer. at the time, the world didn’t have the special equipment to help with that. so it was just a game of hoping and praying to some higher being. thousands of doctor’s visits. at least that’s what it felt like. then they thought it would be better if she stayed in the hospital... ❞

—

     you lay in the uncomfortable hospital bed. it’s odd to say that you could feel the medicine flowing through your body. but it didn’t feel as if there was any change. you still felt like shit. your eyes were closed, but your mind and body were fully awake. lawrence sits next to you in the equally uncomfortable chair. his head leans against his balled-up fist. he listens to the local jazz station. your eyes slowly open, moving to the view of the world outside. the room’s only light comes from the setting sun in the open window. there's a breeze that comes through. it’s slow and refreshing, and there’s a moment in which you feel so much at peace that you forget all the pain.

     ❝ if it was going to be any day, i’m glad it was this one. ❞ your voice startles your now fiance`. it’s weak and scratchy and for lawrence, it’s hard to listen to. at first, he’s confused by the choice of words, but he follows your eyes to the window. on the outside looking in, the sight of a woman sitting in a hospital bed with a man in a striped suit is dismal. quite heart-wrenching. it’s then that the man beside you starts to tear up. you notice his breaths are shorter. your eyes making your way to his sitting position. his hair is spiked up, from his constant hand movement through the locks. ❝ honey... ❞

     your bony hand moves to his. it’s hard to lift it at the time, but the pain becomes worth it once your hands touch. he grabs it and plays the wedding band on your finger. ❝ it’s starting to rust. ❞ lawrence manages to speak. your eyes don’t leave his face. ❝ it’s withering away. i guess it’s something i have in common. ❞ he laughs for a second before returning to his sad demeanor. he finally makes eye contact with you. the sunlight sat upon your face so peacefully. the warmth of it makes you feel so alive; although in a matter of minutes, that would no longer be the case. neither of you said anything. because you didn’t need to say anything. lawrence knew everything you wanted to say and vice versa. you could feel your eyes start to become very heavy. everything starts to feel strange all of a sudden. your eyes move from his eyes to the setting sun; to the light. 

—

     lydia deetz admits to shedding a few tears at the story. the girl doesn’t say anything to him. all she does is takes his hand. she makes an observation of how rough they are. his hair slowly starting to lose its blue hue; fading back to the emerald green color she’s become so used to. he puts the ring back in his pocket. beetlejuice turns to the girl next to him. he lifts part of his mouth to a small smirk. neither of them say anything. he turns his attention to the front of the house. walking up the path towards the house is a girl in a scout uniform. he shakes off the overwhelming emotions and turns back to lydia. ❝ feel like doing a little scaring? ❞

[cheetahsprints]

The Coolest Uncles Alive

Summary: In which one twin wanted to grow up to be a zookeeper and the other nearly got eaten by a large feline. Harry and Cisco didn’t have high hopes for their futures. Words: 1756 A/N: Forgive me for changing the canon. But this is fanfiction? And the show itself doesn't exactly follow the comics to a tee.

Cisco spread his arms. “Behold! Welcome to the Zoo. Lions, Tigers, and Bears oh my!”

Harry huffed in amusement beside him. Cisco lifted one of the twins from his shoulders to the ground. Avery immediately attached to Cisco’s leg. Harry crossed his arms in disapproval. Beside him, Joseph giggled at his facial expression. They were watching the mischievous pair so WestAllen could have a second honeymoon. At the end of the day, Cisco and Harry would probably need a second honeymoon. Cisco was glad neither of them could accidentally get pregnant, not that they wouldn’t be excessively careful.

“Avery Francis West-Allen,” Harry said, cool as a cucumber, “let of your godfather’s leg.”

Avery whined. Joey ignored the scene and started punching the air. He almost punched someone passing by, so Harry held him still.

“Avery. Remember you're a big boy now,” Cisco admonished.

He whined again but detached. He restlessly jumped around, his tutu bouncing. The West-Allens hadn't known what the gender of their other baby would be, so Harry gifted them some of Jesse’s old clothes. Avery was also wearing a “Daddy’s little princess” shirt. They couldn't figure out how Avery found them. No one was going to police a four-year-old child on what to wear, though. Or anyone for that matter, who needed enforced gender roles? The shirt wasn’t surprising, since Avery aggressively idolized regal female characters, especially Moana, Shuri, Mulan, and Diana Prince. Cisco didn’t know if Avery had a single clue about ballet.

Joey had nicked Avery’s favorite T-shirt of the Ninja turtle Donatello. Joey lived to annoy his sibling.

They were almost identical at first glance. But Joey had a pointier nose and green eyes. Avery’s eyes leaned more toward brown, and his nose was set wider. The rest of his face had a stronger resemblance to Barry, though it was hard to tell past the lingering baby-fat, with a round chin and angular cheekbones.

“Can we visit elephants?” Joey asked. Except it sounded like ellie-pants.

Avery protested, “I want to see the caramels!”

“Camels,” Harry said.

“Campbell’s,” Avery tried to mimic. Harry shrugged and gave up.

“We’ll get to those both,” Cisco promised.

They passed monkeys, gorillas, elephants, bears, zebras, camels and crocodiles. When they reached the petting zoo, Joey tugged on Cisco’s shirt hem.

“Are the animals sad all locked up?”

Cisco tapped his head and thought out his answer. “Well, they're well fed, with easy access to medicine. Room to roam and places to hide. Plus they're safe from meanies who'd hurt or sell them.”

Joey blinked a few times and smiled. “That's good.”

Joey moved on to the petting zoo, Avery skipping merrily behind him. They had fun, while Harry laughed at Cisco getting chased around by a goat. He fell on his ass, and soon all the children were guffawing with delight. He dusted himself off.

“I am done with the zoo,” Cisco complained. Harry fixed his curls and pecked him on the lips.

“Yuck kissy face!” Avery shouted. Harry grabbed at him, but he quickly dodged. Joey bolted after him. Cisco and Harry trudged after them into the gift shop.

They found that Joey had already found a stuffed elephant. It was roughly the size of his body. Harry was indulgent and brought it to the counter without question. Along with wolf ears. Avery wanted two pairs of cat ears and a little zookeeper outfit. Cisco lifted it with a raised eyebrow.

“I is gonna be the best a minimal - I mean, animal keeper when I is big,” Avery lisped.

“I am,” Harry corrected gently. His mouth tilted toward a frown.

“You’re already big and a scientist,” Avery said, placing his hands on his hips. Harry didn't know why he tried.

“Are you sure you don't want to be a scientist too? Maybe a reporter? Or an astronaut?”

Avery stared at him expressionless. He stated slowly like Cisco was extra dumb, “I wanna. Be a. Zoo. Keeper.”

Cisco nodded. “Okay, okay. Nothing wrong with that.”

Harry ushered everyone out of the store. Once outside, Joey put his wolf ears on. He cupped his hands around his mouth and howled. Harry shook his head. He attempted to push the elephant off on Cisco. He held up a hand.

“You bought it, you carry it.”

Avery put on the cat ears and handed a pair to Harry. He sighed unhappily but slipped them on. Cisco snorted into his hand, and Harry flicked his ear.

They came up on the cheetahs. The pair of spotted cats watched them. Cisco loosed a breathy “hah-hah” at the information plate. The male was named Kitty Flash, the female ironically was Diana the Wonder-Cat. Joey pointed with his mouth open. “It's like Duma!”

Harry gave Cisco a look, and Cisco scratched the back of his neck. It was a fine film for kids, with his supervision. Joey may have stayed up too late and had too much sugar, who was to know. Avery had fallen asleep twenty minutes in. Cisco pushed his curls out of his face, long and wild as they were. They just fell back in place.

Avery argued, “No, no they're like Fuli from the Lion Guard!”

“That show sucks,” Joey grumped.

“Your face sucks Jojo!”

“That's enough,” Harry said firmly.

The twins were quiet but continued to glower at each other. Cisco had to intervene before they started a poking war or something. He bundled his hair and pulled it over the front of one shoulder. Harry had convinced him a while ago to let it grow out more. He was beginning to doubt the wisdom in catering to his husband’s obsession.

“The cheetah is the fastest land animal, aside from your dad. Their enlarged hearts and lungs help them,” Cisco informed them. He was just summarizing the name plate. “And they use their tails to make sharp turns.”

Their attention turned on him. They looked eager for more. Cisco floundered. He didn’t actually know a lot about cheetahs. Luckily, Harry came to his rescue.

“Cheetahs are naturally nervous and shy -”

“Like that kid Billy in our class?”

“Sure. They will introduce them to a dog as a companion at a young age. The cheetah reads their vibe to know how to behave.”

Avery touched his cat ears. “I'm a cheetah now! Can I get a puppy?”

Cisco shared a concerned look with Harry. Then he said, “That’s a question for your parents kiddo.”

“My birthday is soon,” Avery whispered excitedly.

“Our birthday. Our puppy,” Joey chimed in.

“Wazzat? I do not talk to dummies who say lion guard sucks.”

He turned away to watch the cheetahs. Joey stuck his tongue out. One of the cats had come rather close. It sat down, ears flicking. Avery waved. He pointed his finger and tried to count the spots. The wind picked up suddenly. Cisco wrestled his hair into a ponytail. He always kept the bands in his pockets. Harry palm pressed to the back of his neck. He gestured at the stand selling various sweet treats.

“Who wants ice cream?” Cisco asked.

“Mommy sayed I can't eat ice cream. Cos it came back up and daddy didn’t like wearing it,” Avery said absently, still counting the spots. “Eleven… twelve… wait what’s after twelve?” The cheetah licked its paw and swiped over its ear. Avery gave up counting and imitated the action.

“Cotton candy then. Both are right past the enclosure.”

“Race me,” Joey said. “If you win you don't gotta speak to me, if I win then you gotta.”

Cisco wasn't sure he was a fan of that wager. But at least it might mean less bickering in the car. He doubted Avery could hold out that long though.

“Get ready to lose to Josie the fastest cheetah ever!”

Joey scoffed, “That sounds like a girl name.”

“Cos it is, genius.”

Joey nodded sagely. “I see.”

They got into position. Cisco and Harry followed sedately as they ran off on their tiny legs. Joey stumbled halfway there, and Avery won. Cisco bought his cotton candy and strawberry ice cream for Joey. By the end, Joey's face was covered in smudges of ice cream.

“You were supposed to eat that, not wear it,” Harry admonished. Joey giggled and wiped some onto Harry’s nose. Cisco smirked. When the kids weren't looking, he licked it off.

Meanwhile, Avery managed to get cotton puffs in his hair. Joey had disappeared in the blink of an eye. Cisco and Harry glared at Avery questioningly, as though he vanished his brother by sheer force of will.

He said in a small voice, “Joey want to be friends with the Fulis.”

Cisco and Harry had never ran so fast in their lives. They almost forgot to grab Avery. Harry carried him parallel to the ground. He wrapped himself around Harry’s leg when they reached the enclosure. Cisco gasped and covered his mouth at the sight. Harry just face-palmed.

Cisco uttered, “Joseph Henry West-Allen. If the cats don't get him, I will.”

“I'm too old for this.”

By some unexpected willfulness, Joey had found his way into the cheetah enclosure. He was creeping toward a sleeping cat. The other one was watching him like a hawk. Its tail whipped side to side. Unlike dogs, that was not a friendly gesture.

“Shit, shit, satan damned hell,” Cisco shouted. Harry groaned in agreement, not lifting his head. Several parents and assorted guardians shot him scandalized looks. He didn't care. There was nothing else for it. He breached right in front of the cheetah preparing to pounce. He was greeted with semi-retractable claws in his shoulders. Cisco wasn’t braced for the pure force, knocking him to the ground. However, it seemed to decide he was too big of a fish to fry. It collapsed beside him and started purring. He thanked the speed force and grabbed up Joey, kicking and screaming.

Cisco swore he’d buy the twins a puppy if they kept the incident quiet. Avery managed to barter an additional kitten out of him. Avery leapt into his arms and hugged him. Joey copied him, but with Harry, who was barely able to balance him. Joey gave Harry a kiss on his chin with the “mwah” sound effect.

“Did this make you change your mind about kids?” Harry asked.

“Nope. Not at all, no.”

“Good,” Harry said. “Keeping up with you is challenge enough, sweetheart.”

Cisco threaded their fingers. Harry smiled fondly and kissed his cheek.

Joey added emphatically, “But you're the coolest uncles in the world.”

[crescendo-kuci]

Top Albums of 2017

It’s that time of year again! In a year of reinventions, triumphant returns, tragedy, and necessary accountability for musicians of all levels, these albums affected me and stayed with me through one of the most tumultuous times of music in recent memory. I will not mention the artists by name, but up until news of their personal lives surfaced, two different albums would have been in my top 5 (one of them even claiming the top spot). I don’t mind not having them here though, as it is more of an insult to the victims if I included the bands in this list than an insult to the bands if I don’t include them in this list. Fair enough? 

Lets start with some albums that I enjoyed this year but just missed cracking my top 10 (in alphabetical order):

Chon - Homey Electronic/hip hop/R&B combined with the trademark Chon math/prog rock made for a great follow up to the mostly same-sounding (but still incredible) Grow. 

Dryjacket - For Posterity “Epi Pen Pals” is one of the best songs from this year, and I don’t believe Dryjacket is getting nearly as much attention as they deserve.

Japandroids - Near to the Wild Heart of Life Although it’s their worst LP to date, there are a few classic Japandroids jams (the title track and “No Known Drink or Drug”) and the epic “Arc of Bar” that still made this a great indie rock album.

Jay Som - Everybody Works If this textured, full, tonally exceptional album is the typical result of the recording process happening completely in a bedroom, all albums from here on out should be recorded in a bedroom. Also, “Baybee” is a jam.

Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights My number 11 album of the year. Julien’s voice reaches beauty and power that it didn’t reach on Sprained Ankle, and the added instrumentation doesn’t hurt either. Get the tissues ready, you’re gonna need ‘em. 

Looming - Seed Jessica Knight continues to have the most overlooked/underrated/underappreciated voice in independent music, and I’ll never forgive any of you for making that true (unless you listen to this album and their 2015 banger Nailbiter). Educate yourself! 

North End - Alpha State I tweeted in January that this was the first great album of the year, and it stayed with me all the way to the end. If you’re looking for a dynamic instrumental rock album to carry you through work or studying, look no further. 

Oso Oso - The Yunahon Mixtape As a big fan of their album Real Stories of True People, Who Kind of Looked Like Monsters, I was so pleased when I saw them surprise drop this album. What I originally thought would be a lesser album due to the nature of its release turned out to be an incredible step forward. It’s slightly more muted than their previous effort, but with more earworms spread throughout the track listing. Do not skip this album. 

Tigers Jaw - Spin Having an overall shine that wasn’t present on their previous efforts, Brianna and Ben (along with producer Will Yip) have created a great showcase for the scene’s first steps into the middle ground between independent and major labels. “Guardian” was constantly on repeat for me, and “Escape Plan” might downright be my favorite Tigers Jaw song to date. 

Turnover - Good Nature So we can all agree that Peripheral Vision is an absolute scene classic, right? Well, the band also agreed, so they didn’t change their sound or approach all that much for this album. But hey, don’t fix it if it’s not broken. 

The Top 10 

10. Sorority Noise - You’re Not As ______ As You Think

Watch: “No Halo”

Singing about deeply personal struggles with both a vulnerable whisper and a frustrated yell is nothing new for Cam Boucher, but this album instrumentally captures the tone of his words to a degree I haven’t heard in their past efforts. If you’re not yet acclimated with Sorority Noise, get listening. 

9. Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger in the Alps

Watch: “Motion Sickness”

Although I was an admittedly late passenger on the hype train for this album, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since I listened. “Motion Sickness” is the stand out of the album, but Phoebe’s voice stays engaging and beautiful from start to finish. Even John Mayer himself has given Phoebe some strong praise, not that you’ll need any more motivation to check out the album once you hear her voice for the first time. 

8. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Watch: “Road Head”

On the first listen of “Machinist” I wasn’t too keen on the direction Japanese Breakfast was going with Soft Sounds From Another Planet, but once the full album released I was all in. Where “Machinist” was 100% about spacey, technological sounds that captured the lyrics (I’ve come around on the song and love it in the context of the album), the rest of the album uses those effects to a tasteful and effective degree. There are even a couple of stripped down songs at the end of the track listing just to keep listeners on their toes. On top of all of that, the bass groove in “Road Head” is just so damn good. 

7. Prawn - Run

Listen: “Greyhound”

All of you monsters slept on my favorite album of 2014, Kingfisher, when it came out, so I’m not going to let you do it to Prawn again. They’re consistently writing energetic, beautiful songs that have far outpaced the rest of their peers. “Greyhound” in particular was a song I had on repeat all year, but Run has top to bottom jams. Don’t miss out on them this time around. 

6. Vasudeva - No Clearance

Listen: “Take Away”

My favorite instrumental album of the year goes to none other than Vasudeva. No Clearance does what very few instrumental albums can do for me, and that’s be completely entertaining and engaging from start to finish. The band has included a ton of moody, textured, and even electronic passages that give their trademark upbeat and lighthearted grooves an incredible sound. Although “Take Away” may not be the best example of this (I’d give that to “6&5″), it’s a perfect song for newcomers to Vasudeva to get acclimated with the band. 

5. Hodera - First Things First

Listen: “Out of Sync”

Back when Hodera premiered this song on their Audiotree Live Session, I was immediately sold on their follow up to United By Birdcalls. What I was surprised to hear on the album, however, was how much they embraced their country influences. I’m by no means a country fan, but Hodera embraces the genre with just enough rock instrumentation to keep me enjoying the album. Matthew Smith even seems more comfortable in letting his conversational singing style lead the tracks, which is fine by me. Hodera is one of those bands that should’ve caught on with listeners of bands like Pinegrove, so here’s your chance to catch up if you’ve missed them. 

4. Less Art - Strangled Light

Listen: “Pessimism as Denial”

Ah, “supergroups.” You gotta love ‘em. Consisting of members of Thrice, Kowloon Walled City and Curl Up and Die, I knew I would probably like Less Art’s debut album before I even heard it. When I listened and heard that it was exactly the middle ground between those three bands that I was hoping for, I ecstatically listened to it repeatedly. This is right at the max in terms of heavy rock that I can still enjoy, with tight drumming and tonally perfect bass and guitar instrumentation throughout. Can’t wait for all of these guys to unite and melt my face again with those sweet, juicy tones.

3. Manchester Orchestra - Black Mile to the Surface

Watch: “The Gold”

I listened to “The Gold” about thirty times the night it premiered. And then I put it on repeat when I went to bed and woke up to its beauty. So, yeah, I guess you could say I was pumped for a new Manchester Orchestra album. While “The Gold” is the standout track, there’s a beautiful and haunting vibe that engrosses the rest of the album. These songs are uniquely united in a way that hasn’t been seen on their previous efforts, and it makes for an immensely enjoyable complete album listen. Despite the closer “The Silence” being nearly seven minutes long, you’ll want to experience Black Mile to the Surface all the way to its chilling end. In terms of their discography, I’d place Black Mile to the Surface second just behind Mean Everything to Nothing, and I’m of the firm belief that Simple Math is a near perfect record. 

2. Pet Symmetry - Vision

Listen: “Hall Monitor”

If I were to make a top songs of 2017 list, I would have to include “Hall Monitor,” “You & Me & Mt. Hood,” “Stare Collection,” and “Lint Roller” in the top 10. It was honestly incredibly difficult to pick which song to link with this post. Off of that alone I decided to place this album so high on this list, but even the songs on the album I don’t consider my favorites this year are stellar. When I listen to this album all the way through, the only song I skip is “Eyesores” because it’s just a short burst of distorted vocals and guitars, but that’s it. Every other song is a genuine joy to listen to, and I really can’t ask much more from a band that barely even takes themselves seriously. Get listening. 

1. The Menzingers - After the Party

Watch: “After the Party”

I’ll admit, I hadn’t heard a single song by The Menzingers until they released “Lookers” last year. I know, blasphemy. I proceeded to do my homework and check out their older material in preparation for this album release, which usually results in either negatively comparing newer material to older material or getting burned out on the band’s sound. With After the Party though, neither of those ever happened. I still get just as pumped now when a track from the album comes up on shuffle as I did when it first released. Whether that song is the title track, “Tellin’ Lies,” “Lookers,” “Your Wild Years” or “Bad Catholics,” I’m always happy to let it play. That’s not to say that a full album listen isn’t warranted though - the slower tracks are perfect in their sequencing and tone to offset the loud punk tracks. If you need any further proof that this is my favorite album/band of the year, they were my top played band on Spotify and claimed three of my five most played tracks. 2017 for me was the year of The Menzingers.

How do your picks compare to mine? Anything you think I might have missed? Let me know on Twitter @CrescendoKUCI and I’d be more than happy to reply! Thanks for reading this post, and I hope you’ve found some great new music to enjoy. 

[bbreferencearchive]

It's Psychedelic Baby Magazine Interview with Bobby BeauSoleil Klemen Breznikar

Hello Bobby! Thank you very much for taking your time and effort to discuss about your music. You were born in Santa Barbara, CA. What would you say were some of the early influences on you as far as music goes and at what age did you start playing an instrument?

When I was growing up in the 1950s, my hometown was said to be a place for the newly wed and nearly dead.  The local radio station played only cloying, stodgy fare for the most part, though I liked some of the instrumentals.  The music in the old horror movies I watched on TV appealed to me much more.  When I was 11 years old, I found an old Silvertone guitar in the attic of my grandmother’s house.  My parents couldn’t afford to get me guitar lessons so I began inventing my own music on that old guitar.  R&B, which was popular in Los Angeles, barely penetrated the local radio play list but finally, in the early ‘60s, surf and hot rod music insinuated itself into my consciousness.  The first popular song I learned to play was Link Wray’s “Rumble”.

When you were still very young you went to Los Angeles where you've met some musicians. Among them there was Arthur Lee. He invited you to be a second guitarist in a band called The Grass Roots (later became more known Love). This was for a really short period. They fired you, because you were to young to play legally in adults-only nightclubs. How did you meet Arthur Lee?

Actually, Arthur didn’t invite me into the band.  I invited myself.  I had seen The Grass Roots perform a few times as Ciro’s and really liked their sound and energy.  A fully racially integrated band was pretty cutting edge for those times, and that was attractive to my sense of adventure and rebellious spirit.  It seemed to me that a second guitar would help to fill out the sound of the band, and free Johnny Echols up to play more leads and ornamentation, so I decided to approach them about trying me out for the fifth position that I imagined might exist.  I was 17 and looking to break into the music scene, and this seemed like a good place for me.  The Grass Roots were using a failed nightclub on The Strip for a practice studio.  When I learned this I went there and introduced myself.

When you were around 17 you moved to San Francisco, to experience the Haight and Ashbury vibe. What do you recall from your settling in SF? Did you find bands like The Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, The Charlatans, Big Brother and the Holding Company, Country Joe & The Fish, Quicksilver Messenger interesting? Did you hang out with those guys?

Getting booted out of The Grass Roots turned out to be a gift.  It had left such a bad taste in my mouth that it prompted me to leave L.A. and seek better prospects in northern California.  I had visited the San Francisco Bay Area once before and loved it, so that’s where I went.  In late 1965 the Haight-Ashbury was just a seedy low rent district barely anyone in the counter-culture scene knew about.  I discovered it by happy accident, and that’s where I pitched my tent, so to speak.  The Grateful Dead had a house up the hill on Ashbury.  Country Joe and the Fish were a Berkeley band, and most of the guys in Quicksilver lived across the other big bridge in Sausalito and Mill Valley.  The members of Big Brothers, The Airplane, and The Charlatans were spread across greater San Francisco.  My band performed gigs with these bands and others, so we all knew one another, at least casually.  I can’t say that we were hanging out together, though.  We were all focused within the circles of community around our own bands for the most part.

You found an artist community in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco. Shortly thereafter, you formed your own band called The Orkustra, notable for its unprecedented blend of psychedelic rock, classical, jazz, and middle eastern music styles. How was the community called and did you found other members there? There was Jaime Leopold (bass), Terry Wilson (drums, percussion), Henry Rasof (oboe), David LaFlamme (violin) and you on guitar and bouzouki. Tell us about this interesting lineup. You had an amazing sound and were so »out there«; probably one of the most original bands. What do you recall about those early days?

They say that if you remember the ‘60s you weren’t really there, but my memories remain oddly vivid.  The Haight-Ashbury scene had different names depending on what circles you moved in within the community.  There were a lot of circles and they all intermingled to some extent.  The whole of it defies labeling, even today, though I like the Love Movement.

Was there an original concept behind The Orkustra?

My initial loosely knit idea was to form the first symphony orchestra using electrified instruments, and for this orchestra to play a universal form of music that blended all forms.  And I wanted the performances of this music to be “free” in a manner similar to the free jazz I listened to at The Haight Levels jazz club on Haight Street.  At the time, 1966, neither my skill as a musician nor electronic music technology had evolved far enough to support this concept, but these limitations did not stop our collective from making a valiant effort to realize the pipe dream.

What's the story behind The Orkustra name? You were originally called »The Electric Chamber Orchestra«, right?

From the beginning I intended to name the ensemble The Electric Symphony Orchestra.  When all the try-outs narrowed the number of dedicated players with an ability to improvise down to five musicians, it became necessary to scale back on the highfalutin title (but not the expectations).  So we decided to call ourselves The Electric Chamber Orchestra.  When we were playing only small venues like coffee houses this worked fine.  Then we started playing outdoor concerts, college auditoriums and concert halls, so “chamber” didn’t work anymore.  That’s when we decided to be The Orkustra.

You were together for about a year and a half and played in many clubs, shared bills with many bands like The Grateful Dead, Charlatans, Big Brother and The Holding Company etc. What do you remember from those shows? I bet you have some crazy stories to share with us?

We played a lot of gigs with a lot of great bands and musicians.  Some of the gigs were better than others but overall I had a blast!  My favorite memory of these gigs was The Love Pageant in the Golden Gate Park Panhandle.  This event was held on the last day that LSD was legal.  Ken Kesey showed up driving Further – I mean, everybody was there.  My memories of The Love Pageant are a bit blurry but I remember that The Orkustra’s lineup kept changing throughout our performance and the colorful crowd seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see from the flatbed truck trailer that was our stage.

Orkustra never released anything, but many years later RD Records released compilation called »Light Shows for the Blind« and in 2009 Mexican Summer released  »Adventures in Experimental Electric Orchestra From the San Francisco Psychedelic Underground«. Would you like to talk a bit about the material, that is on this two albums? Where were they recorded?

A selection of our recordings were published on the Lightshows for the Blind album.  The title comes from The Orkustra’s motto.  The Adventures in Experimental Orchestra album is a double disk release, and the complete anthology of the recordings we made that were deemed good enough to be included.  The quality is a mixed bag, with some tracks having been recorded in a church, a few at other live gigs, a couple in a studio,

What would you say were some of the main inspiration/influences to create such an unique music? One thing, that comes to my mind is John Coltrane…

Coltrane’s “A Love Supreme” is a good example of music we were influenced by.  Most of our compositions were structured in a similar way, too, where there would be a strong melody or musical pattern motif to provide a framework for the improvisations that so largely defined our music.  However, we primarily influenced one another.  David and Henry were classically trained, Terry was a jazz drummer, Jamie was into jazz and blues, and I brought more of a rock orientation and Asian influences to the mix.  We learned from and took cues from one another to create a unique sound.

May I ask about hallucinogens? Did they have any impact on your sound development?

During the 60s it was widely believed within the counter-culture scene that hallucinogens open doors to higher consciousness.  At the time, I tended to believe this.  Now, being a beneficiary of greater knowledge and experience, I affirm no such belief.  That said, some psychedelic substances do open some windows in the sense that they can, if the setting, circumstances and mindset is right, enhance perceptions and offer glimpses into what is possible.  What experiences I’ve had with these substances have helped me to appreciate the complexities of sound, among other aspects of awareness.

Then the bacchanalian counter-culture festival happened called The Invisible Circus and famous film maker Kenneth Anger came to you and offered you to be a star in his Lucifer Rising. Soon you formed a new band called The Magic Powerhouse of OZ, an very eclectic ensemble. What happened next, Bobby?

Weirdness!  Without a doubt The Magick Powerhouse of OZ was the strangest band to emerge out of the San Francisco music scene in that era.  Our closest cousin was probably Sun Ra’s band.  All of the members were street musicians, some with no traditional musical training.  Our music came out of one rule: make any noise you feel but do it with sensitivity and consideration for the other players.  The deal I made with Anger was that I would agree to starring in his film if he allowed me to compose and record the soundtrack.  Some of the members of The Orkustra found Anger sort of off-putting and declined to work with me on the project.  So I formed The Magick Powerhouse to make sounds for the soundtrack.  It was a short-lived band.  We played only one public gig.  You can hear the recording on The Lucifer Rising Suite soundtrack anthology album.

In 1976, while at the state prison in Tracy, California, you resumed your earlier collaboration with Kenneth Anger, nearly ten years after their parting of ways in San Francisco. You formed The Freedom Orchestra and completed soundtrack for now one of the most legendary films of 1979 – Lucifer Rising. Would you like to take us in your mind while making this soundtrack?

For reasons difficult to explain, I felt a compulsion to complete the project I had begun years earlier.  When Anger decided that he didn’t want to use Jimmy Page’s music for the film, I volunteered to do it, and Anger accepted my offer.  Anger’s concept for the film had little bearing on how I conceived the music.  For me Lucifer Rising is about the arduous journey involved in arising out of one’s own self-made undoing.  There is an obvious autobiographical component.  As in many classical symphonies, the story is told emotively through instrumental music.

You are still very active and it's amazing that due to tremendous obstacles and restriction you managed to do visual arts, music programs, taught yourself electronics and invented and built innovative musical instruments and also composed and recorded an amazing amount of original music. You are also author of a modest assortment of creative writing projects…

Many people thought that when I was sent to prison I would just rot in here.  Well, fuck that!  Remember I took another man’s life for selfish reasons, an act I deeply regret.  With respect to the man whole life I shortened, I have a sacred duty to enhance the meaning and value of life in general by bringing what creative gifts I’ve been endowed with to bear in the consciousness of humanity.  Don’t give me too much credit.  This is something I simply have to do.

Would you like to tell us more about your projects? You've been so creative, that we don't know where to start...

Start where you are.  Where else?  I recently put the finishing touches on a double album of new music entitled “Voodoo Shivaya” that is scheduled for release at the end of 2014.  This one demanded a lot of me.  I began working on it in 2008 and went deep to make this album a definitely personal statement, and richly mystical.  It is also a fun album, with both instrumental and vocal tracks, dense layers of guitar, and guest performances by some notable musicians.

What are you currently up to?

I have been producing new paintings, and a book featuring my visual art will be published in 2015.  Work on my autobiography continues at a slow but steady pace.  Musically, I’m working on an electro-psychedelic album that I’m calling “Psychlopz”, featuring balls-to-the-wall old school synthesis.  Electronic music is woven into the DNA of my psychedelic sensibilities.  You know, I’ve never wanted to make music that might be used as wallpaper, something people use to decorate their environment.   What I’ve always wanted to do with my music is to build castles of light and sound in the minds of listeners.