#its everything i love abt human/long lived romance

[banished-away]

Dammit that scene in orc king where Catti asks drizzt how can he love her when she will turn old and drizzt replies that he will love her the same way she would love him if his eternal beauty would be scarred in battle.... They are everything I love abt mortal/immortal romance

[nathanialhowe]

sometimes its not just about romance but its about something more thn that and its all about love you know what i mean

[buckyarchives]

Domestic Life Of a Living With a Runaway Assassin. [Intro.]

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x soulmate!reader

Summary: you hate many things in life. you hate soulmates. you hate the avengers. you hate guns. you hate loud snorers and complicated relationships.

Bucky Barnes is associated with all of those things, yet you can't find yourself hating him

W.c: 2.1K

Series playlist linked here

Author note: this was actually one of my first long form fics I wrote in many years, its carrys a nostalgic feeling and means a lot to me. i wrote it like last October and thought abt kinda rewriting some stuff and posting it here! I thought some of you guys woudk enjoy this story. this is only a short darbble that teases the story, next chapter shows how they met and everything after that. It takes place right after CA:TWS and it’s a soulmate AU!

Masterlist

Soulmates.

The legend goes that when the universe was created and whatever higher power you believed in created humans to have two sets of legs, two sets of arms, and two heads. Now because the world is cruel and no one can have nice things, whoever is in charge up there split us up into two beings but forever being connected by our souls. Spending the rest of our life waiting and searching for our other halves. Never being our true whole selves without them. How poetically tragic.

It turned into a weird way to make money nowadays, you felt like no one really cared about the reality of soulmates now. It was made into shitty romance movies, or stupid scientific searches for your one and only soulmate that was definitely an internet scam. People literally faking soul marks towards celebrities for their one chance with them that their delusional minds make up. 

All just a desperate attempt to feel whole and loved but your one and true person. Always and forever destined to be.

What a touching story. Too bad you think it's all bullshit

No genuinely, you were supposed to believe your life's purpose was to find this one person in the entire universe that matched you, and without them, you what? you were going to be miserable for the rest of your life? The universe is a scam. You had given up on the whole mad search for your other half years ago, you didn't understand why you couldn't go out and find your own partner without having to match up those stupid words on your shoulder. 

“I'm sorry, you probably don't feel very safe with me.”

Those stupid words. You hated the idea of soulmates but you couldn't stop yourself from the hours of wondering just what the hell that was supposed to mean. You had no interest in seeking out your soulmate but you could wonder what type of person they may be. Were they really a dangerous person? Would you genuinely not feel safe with the said person when you first meet? Would you even meet them?

Questions had swirled through your head since the day you got it. Those questions had died down a little, you were getting older and most of your peers had already met their soulmates. You noticed soulmates were not just romantic, they came in friendships, some didn't work out, some came between children and parents, and some came through your fire escape at night, covered in blood and knocking down your favorite plants.

With a loud crash, your feet carried you through your new york apartment to your living room. You saw the outline of him crouched down on the floor. “I'm so sorry, I know that was your favorite plant.”

Okay, spoiler. You had found your soulmate. You weren't excited about it as the rest of the world expected, but it happened. You weren't some hypocrite that would suddenly abandoned all beliefs and fell head over heels for your soulmate once you met like one of those stupid romance movies you mention earlier, you were not some cliche. Especially not with a poor excuse of a runaway-brainwashed-assassin soulmate, at least you would try convincing yourself that.

“My god Bucky, how many times do I have to tell you to just go through the door.” you pinch the bridge of your nose as the tired old man scrambles to clean up the dirt and scattered pot beneath him. “I mean, you practically live here now.”

“I'm not using the door, someone could see me.”

You think Like that's better than having someone see you climb through the fire escape, asshole. You scoff and shake your head and begin dragging yourself to the kitchen. You had a slight quirk at the end of your lips, an amused smile, you hoped Bucky didn’t see in the dark. Maybe he did, you didn’t really have enough time to ask him the deets on the effects of the serum. 

You swing open the cabinet door and grab a trash bag and first aid kit. God only knows how bent out of shape bucky is tonight. Making your way back into your living room, Buckys still muttering under his breath about your stupid plant and “god dammit it's fucking freezing out there.”

throwing the trash back at him, he looks up at you. His eyes are beautiful. His hair is sopping wet and you were hoping to any god above that he wasn't bleeding out on your floor. You were not losing your security deposit for your reckless runaway assassin soulmate. God, that's a mouthful, you need to give him a new nickname.

 “So, what's the damage?”

“s’ nothing, I'm just cold. It started raining hard.” he looks like a wet shaking dog. Your heart aches.

You look him up and down. Noticing the water dripping from all his clothing. “I see that.”

You sigh and take a few steps toward him. Bucky eyes follow your moments precisely. He has a bit of a staring problem. You snag the hair tie off your wrist and swiftly tie his brunette wet mop of a head into a little man bun. Cute. you shake your head.

“Stay, I'll be right back.”

Bucky watches you in awe as your body ascends back into the darkness of the room and around a corner. He's uncomfortable and his socks are wet. The leather vest is wet and he feels like he's trapped in his own skin, and Bucky feels too heavy. 

Slowly, he begins to unstrap all weapons on his body and toss them to the side so you don't have to see them. You didn't like guns. He had a designated place where he hides them because god-forbid Bucky messes up your apartment aesthetic with his dozen of unsettling and quite scary weapons. Your words, not his.

Unzipping the leather top and peeling the fabric off himself was less than a nice feeling, it made him cringe and sent a quick shiver down his spine. Bucky tossed it to the side, he’ll deal with that tomorrow. His hands feel the thin black shirt that's left, it's wet too. Fucking hell. He doesn’t remember the New York weather being this bad in September, he also barely remembers anything so his memory isn’t too reliable. Bucky slowly peels the fabric over his head, he hopes he doesn't mess up the bun you did, he never did it right.

Bucky hears your feet pad against your floor. He pushes back a smile. You're holding a towel and some clothes. He watches you as you crouch down next to him on the floor, he notices that your eyes are squinted and your bed head is apparent. A twinge of guilt hits him now knowing he had woken you up. Bucky whispers, “I woke you up.”

You sigh, again. “I was having a bad dream anyways.”

“About?”

You inhale, scoffing to yourself. “I was being chased by Jimmy Fallon with a jar of pickles – because you know, I hate pickles – and he was yelling at me about the importance of eating vegetables, but he sounded just like my mom.”

Bucky didn’t remember who Jimmy Fallon was, “you must think you’re so amusing, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Bucky curls his toes and is unfortunately reminded of his very wet socks. He leans forward to untie his hefty boots. Your eyes trail along his naked back, his muscles flex and suddenly you are just a little more awake. You watch his left arm in all its glory, taking note of the ragged and scarred tissues where metal meets skin. Scratch marks are littered around the edges, and you feel sad for him, imagining how those got there. The moonlight highlights his metal arm, making it shine and look quite beautiful. You could never tell Bucky that.

“It's been a week.” you finally breathe out. Bucky freezes in place as his fingers wrap around his laces. He feels guilty again. “And you didn't leave a note this time either. I thought...”

Trailing off, you stop yourself before you say something you were going to regret. Your mind wanders, you felt so incredibly stupid right now. Truth is, you didn't agree with the whole soulmate ordeal but it seemed like ever since your unconventional first meeting with Bucky, he has stuck to you like glue. He just kept coming back and then leaving again. 

It took you many of his overnight stays and weirdly domestic mornings making scrambled eggs together and then turning into a worry machine after he leaves. You realized had grown to care for him deeply. Bucky always came back, but you were scared for the day we might not. 

Bucky is– literally, a lost puppy. He had been on the run and actively avoiding the few stray agents that knew he was still alive when he met you. 

Bucky remembered back when he was a kid, dreaming about the day he would meet his soulmate. He and Steve would stay up all night talking about their soul marks, or just words (as they used to call it), and what they thought their soulmates would be like. Bucky was obsessed and simply put, a hopeless romantic. 

Then Steve met his soulmate, Peggy. And then he technically died and Hydra happened, Bucky thought his soulmate would have been dead because he was out of his time now. After being brainwashed and having been broken and put back together by Hydra, Bucky could still never shake the feeling of you still being out there, it was like some instinctive feeling in his bones, he had hope and it was one of the only things keeping him going. 

And he was right.

Bucky had many doubts when he first met you, given his situation. But you were not scared. And that was enough for him at the time.

But now he just feels guilty for giving you the burden of being his soulmate. He was trying, really.

“I'm sorry, doll.” his voice didn't sound like his own, he shrugged the rest of his boot off and followed with his socks. Finally. “I should have left a note. I'm safe, you're safe, and I'm here now.” 

Bucky heard you sniffled and you turned your head with an embarrassment look and glossy eyes. Like you were ashamed for caring.

“sweetheart...” he scooted closer, hoping you wouldn't mind his damp skin on yours. Bucky reached for you, wrapping his flesh hand around yours and giving you a small squeeze. Your head turned to him, a small smile hidden on your face by the darkness of the room. He saw it. Bucky might even think you're an angel. “I won't leave without saying something next time, I'm sorry.”

“Do I even want to know what you were doing out there?”

He hated lying to you but his life was complicated. “Just trying to fix some things I did.”

You nod. “Good.”

The silence between the two of you isn't uncomfortable, the past few months have been silent– at least with bucky. He is your soulmate. He is also the winter soldier, and the winter soldier is always moving and hiding. Bucky Barnes is always moving, always. He had been that way even way back in the Howling Commandos. 

You were his safe haven. Your relationship was on and off but your bond was strong, it was wordless and tentative and strung together by patching wounds at midnight and soft, domestic glances over coffee. Your house– just you were his place where he could just stop, pretend as if nothing mattered and sit on the couch and watch reality television that you loved. Bucky found it questionable but you said “it will help you get with the times.” Bucky just watched it because he knew it made you happy. 

Bucky Barnes had been moving all week, fast. He had almost died, twice. He was never going to let you know that though. Bucky was due for some Hell's Kitchen or dance moms. He was also not going to tell you that. 

The moonlight was fading and you could hear the faint sound of birds chirping outside, barely silenced by the bustling city life of people leaving for work. You are still sitting next to Bucky, and you nudge him with your elbow. His attention is now drawn to you. You bite your bottom lip, a horrible habit you had, bucky hated it. Bucky brings his thumb up to your face and pulls your lip away from your teeth. He wants to kiss you.

“Go take a shower, you stink.” That works too. He smiles and you laugh. Yeah, Bucky thinks he can stop for just a little longer this time.

-

Feedback and comments make the work go round, comment to be added to the tag list!

Tag list : @ivywasmaroon @ozwriterchick @slytherinambitious @wintermischief

[itlivesproject]

just want to thank mod win for answering my last ask bc as the release date gets closer i've been thinking of nothing else but the implications of their answer bc if the (surviving) ilitw gang know abt, say redfieldmc, have they seen them or are they not ready yet 😔 if they did. specifically thinking of the ilitw LIs. oh i know that first meeting hurt like hell like they're happy they're still here and not mindless but it's sick that it had to be like THAT 😭 but i also wanted to share this bc i cannot remove the image of them just ghosting redfieldmc for months while helping the revival effort bc it pains them to see them as redfield. basically ilitw LIs @ redfieldmc:

also does that mean they know abt noah with them 💀 bc i can only imagine the Reactions if they do i understand we probably won't see it bc of coding and it will distract from the main plot (genuinely can't wait for the LORE on everything everyone looks so layered and interesting 🤤 particularly abt mc and lincoln i cant wait to unwrap everything going on with him bc i KNOW im going to end up wanting to cook him sinigang after we learn his past 😁) but i can't stop thinking of the possibilities in my head. the guilt the resentment the underlying thread of gratefulness to noah for anchoring redfieldmc to their humanity and a few others that will come to me eventually. it's definitely just a volatile cocktail of emotions. can't wait for the other LIs to have their ilw ch2 connor moment (im not even romancing him but *sad smile* she's the cutest ghost in town got me wanting to slide down the wall props to the writer of that sequence fr. i can only imagine what it would do to me to see the lucas equivalent) and possibly the live noah reaction if they're in love with that bad bitch 🤩.

so to summarize my longwinded asks (im so sorry for the length but i can't seem to keep it down) cant believe its only two days left my brain is going haywire in excitement for the old and new gangs and thank you for the work you all did and are going to do to send off the it lives anthology with style. i hope you all have a good day!! 🥰💞🔥💖

I love long winded asks 🥰 it’s always great to see peoples thought processes. If I can promise you anything it’s that there will always be so much ANGST! (Also appreciate the Lincoln mention, he is my main man ✊✊)

Now this is being answered after the game aired through ch 3, so I hope you enjoyed the next chapter and onto ch 4!!

[lunaekalenda]

Heya An 💕🥺 I hope when you see this you are doing good!! First of all congrats and I checked out your event (which is so creative btw and I love it) and here is my request! (I hope it’s not complicated omg-)

💖, ❓, can it be in the aot world? Like she joined the survey crops and she is really skilled, smart and really tough and that caught Levi’s attention and he has a crush on her :,). After a mission battle she almost risked her life but Levi saved her. It got her by surprise and she tells levi why did u save me out of all ppl and Levi decided to confess his feelings first time to the person he loves and he gets all nervous and shy. (Like he just says randomly “will you be my girl?”) and hes all blushed up. And the girl is all surprised but accepts it and she brags abt it to all her friends that Levi is her man and he lowkey is rlly happy abt that 🥺 (fluff scenes of him holding her hand and all that to FINALLY show off he has a girl and he’s so cute and happy abt it 😭). Thank you and have a great day ✨

ofc!! i hope you like it <3 and thanks for participating! <3

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romance + strangers + canonverse feat. Levi Ackerman

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“Nice one!” Hange says approaching you. You land on the floor and smile to them. They look to the tall tree you just escalated in a very short time. 

“I wanted to try a trick that Rico taught me.” you say. Hange nods, excited.

“The one with the little tumble to turn faster and begin the descent with propulsion?” you nod.

“Yes! It’s pretty useful.” you say. You’ve been friends with Hange for a while now, but you spend most of the time with the cadets of your promotion, specially with Eren.

You have just joined the corps this promotion, training with Eren, that’s what made you two so close. You’re also friend of Mikasa and Armin. 

“Hange.” Levi calls them. He’s walking towards you two, loosening his shirt collar with a bony hand. “Erwin is calling us.” He looks at you, as if he had just noticed in your presence. He knows you, he recognizes your face though you two never talked. You made the salute to Levi, after all, he’s your superior. He nods quietly. 

He of course knows you. You’re that one that uses the ODMS as if you were executing a ice skating routine, so graceful and pretty. Hange waves a hand towards you. Levi walks fast in front of them. 

“You’re too obvious.” they say. Levi grumps.

“Shut up.”

Erwin called them to let them know there’s a mission the next day. One of the squads that went for a recognition a week ago has not arrived yet, and they want to search them. And to know if all of them are alive. Hange says they can call their squad, where you are listed. Levi nods, knowing he has to call his new Special OPs Squad. You talk to Eren to ask him if his squad also goes on the mission when Hange tells you you have to be prepared to fight tomorrow. Eren nods.

“Yes. Captain Levi told us earlier. So, I guess we have to go for that...” he says. You nod and say bye to him after you two end having dinner. You enter your bed and prepare yourself for sleeping, trying to recover energy for tomorrow’s mission. 

It is too early in the morning to be talking about titans, but Erwin is giving his discourse before you all leave. You listen to him, trying to avoid unintentional yawns. Once he has assigned every squad to each part of the army, you start to walk. Casually, Eren’s squad is next to yours, on your left. He smiles at you. Behind him, Levi Ackerman looks as awesome as usual, up in his black horse. 

The way is silent in your group and kinda uncomfortable. Some soldiers are crying and some others are screaming that they want to go back home. You try to not listen to them. You also want to go home.

No, you don’t. You’re here because you want to help humanity. If stay away from home and risk your life will help your family to live in better conditions, with no more fear, you’ll risk it every day.

A red light is seen, and you know what that means.

“Titans!” Hange says. “I wonder what amazing ones will we find today...” Once you’re near enough to them, you take your blades and swing between the trees. 

Levi saw you do that hundreds of times, but seeing your body elevate quietly, all the grace in every movement, from your side is another story. His grey eyes follow you, as if the battlefield was now a stage and this was a kinda strange ballet, in which you were the main dancer, and he only one of the public. 

He looks around, blushed. He has to center himself in the battle. Giving a couple orders to his squad, he easily finds an enormous titan. He goes all way up a tree, searching its weak point. You do the same a couple trees to his left, fighting. There’s a weird titan between the two of you, and Levi cannot predice its movements. He seems to be interested in you, but at the same time, he looks at Levi, as if he was about to attack him.

Unfortunately, you were it’s prey.

The titan runs towards you, his mouth open and his hands ready to catch you. You didn’t see him coming, you were too centered on the one you were attacking. The titan caught you off guard, taking one of the strings of your ODMS, making you scream. Levi hears that.

“Y/N!” He goes as fast as he cans near the titan, seeing your blades moving fast towards the enormous hand that was about to cage you. He kills the titan you were trying to kill, the one that had his mouth ready to eat you from his colleague’s hands. Then, he turns over himself, attacking the other one’s neck, the one that is squeezing your body so hard that you’re even screaming of pain. He never saw you screaming of pain. Never.

That’s when he realized how you’re suffering. You feel how the hand around you loses all strength and you fall. You fall because your body feels weakened. Levi catches your body in its way to the floor. You feel his warm body surrounding yours, his calm breath and his voice it’s the last thing your senses catch before you pass out.

❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁

The first thing you feel when you wake up is a fluffy bed under you, followed by a softly touch on your leg. You open your eyes quietly, trying to adapt to the light of the room. Levi is there. You blush.

“Captain Levi?” you ask in a whisper. He looks at you.

“Y/N, you’re awake.” he says. He offers you a glass of water. You thank him and drink slowly. 

”What happened?” you ask. You don’t remember exactly how you ended there, but you were surprised to find Levi by your side.

“You got squeezed by a titan three days ago.” he says, looking at the marks in your legs. “I came here with you as fast as I could and took care of you.” he says. His hand feels soft and hot against your skin. 

“You? You took care of me?” You ask. He nods.

“For all the days you’ve been here, in this bed, with your eyes closed.” he says, his voice going down and his gaze showing what he feels: tiredness.

“Have you been sleeping here, Captain.?” you ask. He nods.

“In this chair.” adds. You take air heavily, but it makes your ribs hurt. He looks at you concerned.

“I’m ok, I’m ok.” you say. “But you should get some sleep.”

“No.” he says.

“Why?” your tone is concerned now. He looks at your bed, but never at your eyes.

“You need someone to take care of you.” He simply answers. His hands play with your leg quietly, making sweet caresses on too of the wounds. You look at his hands dancing on your skin. It feels really good... Levi has been taking care of you for days. He saved you and then took care of you. You thought that the one that will be Levi's partner will be so lucky...

“Can I ask you why did you save me?” you ask, out of nowhere. His hands stop its caresses and he looks at you. His grey eyes are fixated on yours, making a quick scan all pver your face. Your plump lips that he dreamed to kiss for a long time, your cute nose, your blushed cheeks and your beautiful eyes.

“Cause I like you, and i was hoping you could be my girl, y/n” he says.

Wow. You weren't expecting that. He said it so directly, as if it was the simplest thing to say. As if it was easy as breathing. You looked at him, but he was serious.

"Be your girl?" you ask. Levi nods.

"I've been watching you. How strong, beautiful and powerful you are. All those things make my mind a mess, full of you. Your voice. Your body. Everything about you is invasive in my head." he says.

You were totally speechless, analyzing every movement he makes. How his adam's apple goes up and down nervously, how he plays with his hands. You find it kinda cute, how a captain of the Survey Corps is nervous to tell the girl he likes his feelings. After all, Levi took care of you. You felt an attachment, a bond that pulled you closer to him as magnets. You smiled.

"We'll give it a try." you say. He looks at you again, blushed. You smile. His hand searches yours quietly, and you let his fingers tangle with yours. He smiles.

"Y/N, I prom..."

"HOW'S MY FAVORITE GIRL EVER DOING?" Hange asks, entering the room. They didn't pay attention to your tangles hands. A shy Eren and a concerned Historia are behind them. "Oh, you look less like a zombie." they says. "I'm sure that Captain Levi has been taking care of you really well, if you know what I mean." they winks. Levi clicks his tongue, but he keeps your hand caged in his. That makes your stomach be full of butterflies.

"I saw you were in danger, who helped you?" since Historia wasn't called to that mission, she didn't knew what happened. Rumors are fast but, the 99% of the times, false.

"Yeah. Fortunately..." you look at Levi. How his eyes shined when he told you he wanted you to be his girl. "... fortunately my man was there for me." you smile and Levi almost choke on his saliva, but his acting skills were really worked. Historia smiled and Eren blushed.

"Oh Goddess, you two are now a couple?" she asks. You nod, smiling, and Levi blushes after being caught looking at you.

"Why did the little brat blush?" Levi asks. Eren coughs.

"It's just that is weird... My bestie and my Captain..." he says. You blush as well.

"It isn't!" Historia goes on your defense. "It's really beautiful. How the two of them..."

"... are wishing to be alone and we're here. Guys, head to the dorms, our girl is being treated." Hange says. Levi raises a brow and you let out a little laugh.

"Your jokes are pitiful." he says. They close the door behind them and Levi sighs. You smile at him.

"Then... About what treatment was Hange talking?"

[papers4me]

Plot points I’d love to see explained in future furuba eps: (from an anime only eyes)

These are things that are bothering me since they are connected to the core plot & characters’ depth, trauma, progression & development . Hopefully, they’ll be explained later.

The obvious: kyoko’s “I won’t forgive you��. I MUST KNOW WHY!!!

How do kid kyo & kyoko know each other in the first place? She’s friends with a sohma’s adult? friends with kyo’s mom? works at elementary his school? she’s the lunch lady? sells hot dog nearby? A cleaning lady at the dojo or sth?

How long did she know kyo to start talking abt tohru & more importantly her darkest secret of hurting tohru unintentionally? It is weird to just meet a child & say, I’d like to tell you bt the time my husbando died...fun times!

We were told by the grandpa, she “went away from home for a long time”, What changed her mind & let her come home to tohru????? What snapped her from her depression? What made her remember the daughter she abandoned? Sometimes, I praise furuba for its realistic depiction of trauma but sometimes, the very thing furuba excels in is the least explained thing for certain characters! Example, the unfortunate time dedicated for the MC tohru.. Also, it is the least followed up thing for other characters. Example: Tohru again & also Isuzu. Hope these are the only examples in the whole show, don’t add kyo, or akito to the list of quickly & lazily wrapped stories, please.

Kyoko told young kyo in ep7, “then I got busy with moving out”. Moving from where? Was she & her husband living outside Tokyo? Moving with her work? He got moved for work? They were living with the grandpa & then moved out?

All the time she knew kyo, she never brought her daughter with her to play with him? Never invited him to their house? Why? was she too scared of kyo’s monster true form? she knew abt kyo’s true form?????

Why is her husband’s face hidden? Is he not that important? But even Akira had a face! His face remained hidden even in the pic tohru showed kyo. I mean, yeah, I don’t really care what he looks like, but it was a weird thing to do. Is this some weird artistic move the anime does? What’s the point?

kyoko is the spitting image of Arisa. Same hair, same style, same color schemes, same mandatory addition of purple in her clothes, even same gangasta background. Had I not seen the ED of Arisa & Kureno lovey dovey together, I’d guessed him to die like tohru’s dad. I wouldn't be surprised if he really looks like kureno. The pattern is too obvious to ignore.

Kyoko looks so fond of child kyo. Alas this changed now!. Why does kyoko hate kyo now!!!!!! WHY!!!!! WHHHHYYYYYYY!!! T_T

I want to see the kyoko that kid kyo saw!!!! that’s the most realistic kyoko. Such a shame that kyoko become similar to se1 & 2 tohru: a mother & a fixer only. Tohru is becoming a real person now in se3 with issues & weaknesses, granted not much depth unfortunately, but it is way better than se1 & 2 tohru of  “mommy said so”, or “yuki’s momma”. Now she’s a real 17-18 years old girl with issues & romance. Kyoko remains pure, only human in the grandpa’s narrative. In se3, ep7 intro, she looked real for few seconds, then the wind moved her hair & weird words of wisdom came out: “look for your answers”. -_-’‘.. Lesson of the day time again! very direct & without context!

Also, EVERYTHING ABOUT KYO! give me the kyo’s darkest storm & the following brightest clearance! can’t wait!!! can’t believe the last time we went deep with him was se2 ep 9! make it hurt & make it heal! Above all, make it real!!

Ok, out of 13 ep, we’re reaching ep 8. Meaning there are 6 eps to at least answer some these questions! Still enough time to explore kyo’s development,  akito’s redemption (as seen in the ED), & hopefully, add depth to tohru! Things could get better in the character exploration department. They have to. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Also, kindly don’t answer my questions,they’re not directed towards anybody. I’m just thinking out aloud & just posting them for a reference to come back to them later after the finale.

thanks<3

[lesbiansamruby]

just curious, what /were/ your issues with the tma finale? i'd love to hear ur thoughts on it

oh man how long do you have? under the cut if you understandably don’t want to hear me complain abt tma

i had issues with pretty much the entirety of season five that just kind of culminated in the finale. in my opinion season five doesn’t.. feel like a continuation of the first 160 episodes. or rather, it doesn’t build on anything and instead exists in this weird stasis where none of the characters have actual arcs and have turned into bizarre fanon versions of themselves. it cuts out all of the ensemble cast except for jon and martin, divvies up the fears into neat domains despite the literal point of mag 160 being that the distinctions between them were man made, and is for some reason stripped of any nuance in favor of transparent one to one allegories about capitalism week after week. not to mention just. abandoning all of jon’s internal conflict about being an avatar and his own choices in that right after he ends the world in an eldritch ritual. if the eye opens was the culmination of the building mystery of four seasons, where everything from the statements finally comes together, season five needed to be something different post reveal and honestly i think it needed to move away from the statement format which had already served its narrative purpose. also, there should have been more elias.

but as far as the finale itself goes, i think first of all it’s not a tragedy and instead is a continuation of the halfhearted attempts to placate jm fans. the framing of the moral problem is absurd. like, jon is right. it is the wrong thing to do to let the fears out to haunt countless dimensions just so they specifically can live. it is baffling to me that everyone else shrugging and saying they just hope the rest of existence can figure it out is the objectively good thing to do. the first five minutes where jon goes out on his own and is about to burn the world down in order to save countless other dimensions is good. it’s an actual return to his primary conflict with the eye and being an avatar and it would be genuinely tragic to have him finally actively choose the eye but make that choice to save others. in order to stop the fears once and for all and prevent anyone else from undergoing the things he’s gone through. having him flip on that immediately when martin walks in is ridiculous, first of all, and incredibly selfish but not framed that way. jon and martin both throughout the season talk about not putting one another before the world.. and then they.. put each other before the world in the finale. jonny seems to want to frame this as a tragedy because they both die, but characters dying does not a tragedy make! it’s very upsetting to me actually that jon finally gets to make a choice himself after four seasons of manipulation and has that choice taken away from him. it refocuses the entire show away from questions of humanity and monsterhood onto a romance that hasn’t actually been developed at all and should have been a supporting element to the actual themes that were there all along. 

i’ve talked a lot more about this in my tma tag on main @scottsummertime if you’re interested in a slightly more coherent version of this but tldr its not a tragedy, MAG160 is the true ending, and jm is annoying god bless <3

[misterbitches]

wbl has mitigating circumstances that make sense wITHIN the story. non consensuality isn’t ok but there’s a foundation we see which, yes, is majorly failed in other tv shows. there are other ways to show whattever it is they feel like it (i watched the end of ep 2, im just too fuckin depressed rn to even think) but it’s intersting the cruelty exists not in A vacuum but the world with WBL creates where we can see that stark difference. something many BLs and shows in gen like kdramas or teen or new adult (essentially every youthfoul show cos exploitation and creator not caring) understand. TT is  a prime example of how it just doesn’t make sense these types of relationships unless there’s a solid enough foundation and at least a mild understanding of the inappropriateness.

right now, the toxicity is born out of like actual conflict. wer i  in in this situation, would i do any of that? no. in fact i’d beat anyone’s ass for ever manhandling me that way. i  want to itereate here emphasis none of this behavior is ok. since it is a tv show, they have more control and could ostensibly  have not written that. however, it’s okay for a show to flub that message, make us uncomfortable, or even truly fuck up the way we think it’s fucked up. i do NOT advise this to be a plan. HOWEVER: PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES. the reddest flag of all is: ARE THEY WILLING TO CHANGE? if they are not, they do NOT deserve to be together.

which mbrings me here. theyre giving us a reason why.

the program gives itself the space and the foreground for it to be a story that isnt fuocused on how much they fuck and fight. ergo these behaviours cannot be repeated bc theyre in this instance. so many viewers of everything say people expect media to be perfect. no. we dont. it’s impossible and we live in a trash disgusting racist capitaist garbage hellfire. what you mean is you want to see people make mistakes but ultimately transgress them and sometimes people just do shit we wouldn’t forgive, or is  messed up, or the writers need to make DAMN FUCKING SURE is clear. 

but unlike most shows esp targeted for young teens both het and BL, thte consequences of love or what love means to young people is so skewed and poorly done because it’s by people who AREN’T that age, don’t know howhumans work, shit like that. i mean u can just tell by the acting even as sam is really goof and most experienced but has a real whole life outside of this persona, a girlfriend, goals of acting probably; showing what it’s like to be human in a way but not a projection of human fantasy through rape culture.

we like to see dysfunction for two reasons: as a way to get out of it or as a redemption arc

but for people who are making cheap shows for kids who don’t need to think about it it’s like: shitty execution, gross love, and no context for why they should even CONTINUE to stay together on top of the harm 

wbl is far from perfect like any other show  but it’s wil what happens when intentions are clear when you show them and so it’s easier for all of us to process. not to mention they built this story through blocks, the way one is supposed to, the relationship of the two of them when they hadn’t been intimate is very different from now 

GSD has to tell the truth, SY has to grow up, rich ppl suck. but it’s a good ride

as an aside is sam lin’s gf cute i hope so but like in a fun way idc abt model bitches it’s so obvious when men do that lmaoooooo but omg! i hope hes happy and also he and mr yu stay friends fro a long time!

oh and i wanna add that GSD’s life revolving around his love for shi yu is actually untrue. it’s a projectiona nd i think the illusion of that projection is brokena nd that’s a good thing. the show sets up an ensemble cast we vibe with, want to see, appreciate, and that means GSD has friends and loves. his life revolves aruond him and the way he sees the romance but he would have never let his mom go to the US by himself and i really hope the show explores why it is IMPERATIVE for him to find his own personhood and not just take care of others. 

his mom would want him to love every bit of his life. all consuming love is so beautiful but it’s only beautiful when you realize you have to survive to love someone so well. and when you survive and understand yourself, your loved ones feel it. they’re very reliable as a group friends and a people and shi de is and will always be a human outside of yu. he has to understand that. it was nice to see his anger at being played too cos it’s like yea that’s fucking disgusting and it hurts and kills you

i’m going to continue to assess the volatility within the story and its progression as much as i can if i can handle being online. this show really exceeds a lot of expectations and mostly i think i forget....it’s actually fun. i was so happy to see the way the dad came into the room in the morning bc i think that was so sweet and hopefully is an indicator of why he said to do what he did. unfortunately homophobic or not: he fucked up. majorly. as a parent, a confideant, a loved one. you do not do that. i am sorry. but they can bounce back. but that’s a lot of pain, ok? 

also i hate rich ppl did i mention that

oh one more thing idk if they had sex but dramas love to do the whole drunk ppl fucking thing and it’s fucking disgusting and will always be :)

[floorbed]

oooh! 1 2 3 and 37 for pen agni and echo !!

thank you raven 🥺 under a readmore bc i cant shut up

1. what is their big three (sun moon rising)?

pen is a gemini sun cancer moon leo rising

agni is an aquarius sun capricorn moon aquarius rising

and echo is a gemini sun scorpio moon scorpio rising <3

2. what is their relationship with their sexual orientation?

pen be like [confusing bc he lived in the dominion Time]. like. his crush is the reason why he got exiled from his home. so like. self hatred time . but also hes only ever had two crushes his entire life so like romantic attraction is something real new to him that hes like . working out mentally . also he loves the idea of love and everything so just like . yeah . so much there

agni is a lesbian <3 but i dont think shes thought about it that much! shes had lil 😳 moments from time to time but her first ever like Feelings Moment was with seras so yeah like pen shes figuring it out as she goes it is v new territory for her

echo [long sigh] so like in echos mind. she is based and built different and has never had attraction or feelings for Anyone . this is incorrect and shes bi But in her Mind she is above concepts like romance etc etc

3. what is their relationship with their gender identity?

Penance The Gender. so like. there is a lot there mentally that pen isnt fully aware of but i know what he is dealing w bc i have more emotional maturity than him. okay so like he experiences a lot of body dysphoria and like has intimacy issues bc of his body dysphoria etc. but he isnt dysphoric about like. his pronouns or being referred to as a boy he likes being the prettiest boy in tuithil. he just wishes he was born w a different body. Penance However Doesnt Understand This Abt Himself And Is Just Confused and Feels Weird

agni is afab and identifies as a woman but has definitely had Gender Moments she is just too disconnected with her sense of self and her physical form to care how others perceive her and how she perceives herself so she just lets it be

echo is a cis girl and she doesnt experience any Gender Moments she is just vibing

37. if you could give your character one piece of advice, what would you tell them?

for pen: little one. bitch you are a whole ass person with so much selfhood you deserve agency like you dont exist to be consumed by others you exist for yourself and like please figure out your identity separate from your complexes

for agni: bitch!!! develop healthy coping strategies!!! sometimes it feels easier to make your psychosis worse by doing things that will fuck with your brain instead of just waiting for it to get worse on its own but that isnt agency thats just self destruction!! take care of your mind and your body bitch!!!

for echo: christ. you dont need to actively alienate yourself from ever developing meaningful connections in your life to like Get Back At The World . like that isnt going to change anything its just going to make you lonely and miserable . let yourself unabashedly care for others let urself be human

[delbeugre]

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen..... 

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid... 

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat: 

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

[prcphetess]

greetings ladies, theydies, n gaydies !  it’s officially pride month / my birth month which means my power and chaos are both at their absolute highest so i apologize in advance :/  ANYWAY i’m hannah, i’m twenty but only for a couple more weeks, i’m kickin it in the est, n i use she/her pronouns !  now onto what you’re all here for ...

enter LOURDES CLEMONTE .

her app / bio are kind of Wild Rides but if ur in the business of reading i did send her app in the discord server n i also have Just her bio linked on her navigation tab as well as a stats page !! but i’ll try my best to summarize all the important stuff here !

also before we get started .. a quick TW for child loss, non-descriptive mentions of grooming, sexual harassment/assault, abuse, car crashes, n death and i THINK that’s everything

HISTORY.

it all started w her dad .. leopold clemonte.. in summary: fuck that guy !

he’s a hot shot author turned movie writer man but in order to gain all of his success he had to make a series of shady deals w none other than our petty king apollo

deal #1 was the life of her twin brother :(

deal #2 was her mother’s sanity aka she became like.. a ghost essentially who no longer speaks or interacts w anyone it’s very sad

deal #3 was meant to be lourdes 

now to backtrack a minute, our girl lou went to school to become a playwright bc her whole life she was desperate to make herself seem worthy to her father n unfortunately leopold knew this and used it to his advantage when apollo demanded he pay off his debt

leopold essentially groomed her to please apollo and promised that she would have a hand in his business forever if she could do tht so she was like okay :)

until .. apollo’s price got too high... u know... n she dared to say no and for that she was Punished

aka cursed

but more about that later

anyway bc she royally pissed off apollo by rejecting him, leopold ALSO lost all his help in being famous and had to turn to a famously wealthy family in california known as the grimaldis 

in order to get them to fund him, he forced lourdes to marry their son brooks who was Not A Nice Man 

2 years into their marriage brooks died in a car accident tht lou Might have caused.. for legal reasons i can neither confirm nor deny whether tht happened but the police didn’t charge her so do with tht what you will 

but she kind of went on the run anyway bc post-curse her doctors were like “nah this bitch is straight up crazy” and she knew her dad wasnt gonna b happy with her for another deal going sour so .. she ran !  and she’s kinda been hotel hopping between towns for the last 3 years trying her best not to interact w anyone !

CURSE.

lou’s curse is all abt prophecy baby !

okay so basically she can see the future of things/objects via touching them which was a whole big symbolic thing in the app bc she “deceived” apollo w her hands .. idk man here’s the line from the bio tht says it best

he  binds  her  wrists  and  says  because  it  was  your  hands  you  used  to  lie ,  now  your  hands  will  see  the  truth  as  he  renders  her  incapable  of  touching  anything  or  anyone  without  foreseeing  an  imminent  doom .  you  will  see  but  never  be  seen ,  he  says .  you  will  hear  but  never  be  heard .

ofc in true cassandra style, if she tries to talk to anyone abt her curse ever it’s like the earth swallowed her whole.. nobody can hear her.. nobody can see her.. nothing.. 

she also has absolutely no idea how to control it at all so like sometimes they’re very vivid images of something going to happen sometimes theyre more like bad feelings abt things .. it’s like a fun game where she never knows whats gonna happen and the prophecies ruin her life !

another quote bc im too lazy to resummarize things

the  general  rule  of  thumb ,  however ,  is  that  the  smaller  the  vision ,  the  easier  it  is  to  see  clearly .  small - scale  or  individual  prophecies  —  like  her  university  president  having  a  heart  attack  —  are  generally  more  easy  to  distinguish .  in  comparison ,  the  years  of  anguish  that  brooks  would  later  cause  her  were  much  harder  to  pin  down  and  presented  themselves  more  as  a  more  general  sense  of  danger .

 the only way she can stop it is with a literal.. physical barrier so she sometimes wears gloves but she can only have them on for a small amount of time before her body starts to reject it and make her Physically Unwell so she has to pick n choose man its unfortunate

EXTRA INFO.

man homegirl is Lonely.. big time... she’s just been avoiding human contact for such a long time she’s ALONE !

she has 2 major scars from the car accident, one on her left cheek from the windshield and one down her right shoulder/bicep from the window and both are very much noticeable :(

she very much loves this small town feeling bc she loves to b invisible and it’s so easy to in sleepy nowhere towns like this

she lives off the database property in like .. a tiny run down house that she’s putting all her time and energy into fixing up n she likes it a lot bc she hasnt had a home of her own in a long time

she also has a black cat named ernest, named after the play the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde

she’s also been working on a PLAY for the last few years, it’s a greek-esque tragic “romance” between the sun and the moon, where the sun is based on apollo and the moon is based on her and it does end with the sun realizing tht the moon is the only person w the power to eclipse him and extinguish him so get fucked apollo !

also speaking of writing she writes a letter home to her mom once every couple of months even tho like .. she can’t really read.. it’s very sad, lou is very sad, thank u for listening

ok this is already like .. stupid long.. so im gonna call it a day WHEW but thank u for reading n i think i’ve honestly already plotted w most of u but feel free 2 like this anyway n i’ll either slide into ur dms either to plot or just to say hey KSDJFSK :)

[diamondnokouzai]

talking abt the visual novel characters under the cut <3

mayhart player character. red-haired human commoner, youngest child of her family, last child born of her mother before mother died and father remarried. shorter than average (5′2″ as female, 5′5″ as male) named mayhart because she was born on the fourth of may. wild & uncontrollable, bearing a rage that she herself doesn’t even understand. grew up a commoner alongside her childhood friend yerick. widely rumored in town to be a changeling- she doesn’t act the way a normal human should, never knowing when to leave well enough alone or how to calm down and settle for her lot in life (the number of times when she, accompanied with yerick, has been chased back to town by some beast she provoked in the woods is uncountable). was recently conscripted into the army and adopted by the duchess koballe after her latent magic appeared. one of very few people who can use offensive magic and not purely reconnaissance/traveling magic. finally has an outlet for her rage, and somewhat hates the things she does. wears standard military uniform but badly- doesnt entirely understand how all the straps & bindings work and will not learn :) as the player character, she can be male or female. as a male, his rage turns inward, and as a result he is less open with his own emotions and keeps all his feelings hidden within himself. openly contemptuous of the war, but far more polite than his female counterpart. neither version holds any respect for anyone who hurts the weak. neither can hold their liquor either. 21 in human years

demavieve eldest princess of the draconic realm- as such, the future sovereign. the draconic realm is the only country allied with perine in this war which makes several people very nervous (its like if the us allied with luxembourg in a war against belgium france germany & the uk excep the us was the only country with nukes). demavieve has a very strong sense of honor though so constrains herself to a human form along with swordplay. this is less dangerous than it seems because if demavieves human form dies then she just turns back into her draconic form. her human form also has red hair, but its far more tameable than mayhart’s. she wears it tied back in a ponytail in general. she wears a perine knight’s uniform with vestments from the draconic realm to signify that she is (a) a foreign-lent soldier and (b) a commander. her human form is muscular and about 6′6″. hot and well aware of it.arrogant but also very friendly about it- ‘you love me? haha, of course you are! you seem great too!’. kind of sees this whole thing as a game- dragons live a lot longer than humans, and something like this is just a blip on her radar. very low empathy until someone she cares about is hurt at which point everything goes out the window (and she cares about pretty much all the perine soldiers- not in a very respectful way, but she loves them all and she goes apeshit sometimes). very friendly with serenina. can absolutely hold her liquor. only romanceable as f!mayhart. 23 in human years, ~150 in real time.

serenina the only princess of the former emperor and empress. i spoke about her in more detail in another post so this is gonna mostly be glossed over. wears her hair in afropuffs cause she does her own hair and shes proud of it. temporal (reconnaissance) magic. desperate to please. legally only friends with demavieve, although also friendly with yerick. about 5′0″ although she desperately wants to grow taller (unlikely). her eyes look like theyre black but if you look closely (which she probably wont let you do) theyre actually purple/indigo. is completely out of touch with the rest of the world because shes a princess but she is also very sincere and tries her best to be helpful when she can. very expressionless and sensible. not very well-liked as the former princess of the warmongering emperor and empress. actually very touch starved. does not wear standard military uniform outside of mage’s robes, which she wears over tea dresses (which is another reason some soldiers dislike her) is kept away from alcohol as much as grayson can and as such will get drunk off half a cup of wine. sleepy drunk. 18 in human years.

grayson the bastard son of the former emperor, sereninas older half-brother. grew up as a commoner in the same area as serenina & yerick until he was brought into the royal castle at age 9. fiercely protective of serenina. faux affable- you know the ‘expressionless smile’ princes from otome games/manga always have? thats graysons face pretty much always. legally not eligible to the crown (due to some religious issues with committing patricide & stepmatricide) but like. like hes already doing everything? yk how it is. highest commander of his troops attempting to broker peace with the other countries perine was at war with (most noticeably alloue, nawolem, & farik in order to attack caledonia, which was the puppeteer behind the former reign) but is not above underhanded methods/tactics including attacking noncombatant targets (they dont even have geneva). very intelligent & very calculating- consistently calculates highest reward/lowest risk maneuvers and has them executed flawlessly. his own cunning scares him on occasion, but he mostly locks that away- theres no time for those kinds of feelings in war. a foil to f!mayhart- she is wild, he is restrained; she shows her true feelings regardless, he always acts at a happy neutral; mayhart confronts her uncomfortable feelings, grayson hides them from everyone. about 5′11″, has long dreads that he keeps tied back. dressed in perfect military regalia, including commander’s cape & military crown (basically just a circlet). also cant hold his liquor- hes nearly as bad as serenina. 25 in human years.

izyn the son of count dau claire, the only noble house in perine that has been loyal to grayson since before the deaths of the former emperor and empress. very quiet because he has social anxiety. completely brainless. very friendly but his height (6′4″) and imposing aura (he gets nervous) means that the only people who can easily communicate with him are yerick and grayson. black hair, cropped short, and green eyes. skilled swordsman, mid-commander. will get trapped in an unwinnable situation which yerick needs to save him from. wears his military uniform right but...........not really? he wears the base uniform right but always forgets his commander’s cape. has a dedicated fanbase that came about when he did his training shirtless. literally doesnt think that any of his problems are that deep (honestly doesnt think anything is that deep). suffice to say, theres a reason why count dau claire never shows up and doesnt seem to be involved in any of the decision making of the count’s matters. very protective of yerick (younger brother). is the most visibly affected by the war- as the one who is usually in the center of the violence and doesnt have a survival cheat like demavieve, he has pretty bad ptsd which coupled with his anxiety issues make him a hot mess. his hobbies include hiding in dark rooms that have been reinforced to the point where literally only yerick can get in. despite his size he gets drunk very easily- not as bad as grayson & serenina, but 1-2 mugs of beer puts him out. 26 in human years. only romanceable as m!mayhart

yerick adopted son of count dau clarie. childhood friend of mayhart. born an orphan, an old woman took care of him til he was 4 and she died. stuck around mayharts town cause their family would give him food whenever he stopped by. still ended up fairly malnourished. small but vicious- hes screamed at mayhart lots of times for the stupid shit they would get him into and is not afraid to smack some sense into them. however he is not a good fighter because hes physically very weak- most of his energy in developing went to his magical capabilities, which came to fruition when he was 6. about a year after that (with a great deal more shunning from the townsfolk besides mayhart), he was adopted by count dau claire. was sealed with a subordination seal (used in order to ensure compliance with reasonable requests as long as a reasonable argument is made) for a year to ensure that he wouldnt run away. izyn liked him right away, but it took about 18 months for yerick to not be completely vicious whenever he was approached. as of the modern day of the vn, yerick is as protective over izyn as izyn is him- yerick has seen some of the worst of the world, and in his opinion izyn has not (this is despite the fact that izyn helped overthrow the royal family at age 15 but in fairness to him izyn told yerick none of this) so he wants to make sure his big brother stays happy. yerick holds absolutely no loyalty towards count dau claire or even to grayson- he is loyal to his own needs first, with a decent second being izyn and an even further distant third being mayhart & their family. very prickly & well acquainted with the fact that most people are inherently selfish and would turn away from an orphan on the streets. abandonment issues. his spatial magic is mostly used on rescue ops (mostly mostly getting izyn out of situations where hes surrounded by enemy soldiers but this extends to other perine soldiers). wears his uniform properly, including mage’s robes & commander’s cape over the standard perine uniform. hates to ever appear weak ever, so when he has to go to the medical tent izyn has to either force him there or pretend to be tsundere and throw bandages at him. izyn desperately wants to dote on him but that is one of yericks Hard Boundaries. theres like ONE time when yerick falls asleep because of arcane overexertion and izyn piggybacks him back to camp and yerick acts like its the most shameful secret in the world. foil to m!mayhart- very open with his anger & feelings and shows when he is angry and accepts that part of himself, open with his loyalties and doesnt give a fuck about it, doesnt like the war but does respect it. despite his size, it takes easily 3 barrels of alcohol to even get him tipsy, izyns lack of alcohol tolerance pisses him off cause he has to walk him back to his tent. 5′4″ and wants to grow taller but has accepted his fate. 19 in human years.

eliya legally not a combatant. former princess of caledonia, was discovered at 12 to hold the power of the divine will and so was sent away from her mother and father (who she perceived as loving) to be raised within the church as a holy sacrifice (those who hold the power of the divine will release a huge psychic shockwave when theyre killed, so she was basically raised to be a holy tyke bomb). has a lot of religious obsession, prays 3x a day and has been brainwashed into believing in the power of holy judgement- essentially, her church handler (aka the deacon of the church where she was raised) has raised her to believe that if she commits a sin she’ll be killed so she has a LOT of anxiety over doing the right thing.at the same time shes been brainwashed into believing that doing anything in the service of the throne of caledonia is morally & theologically correct. shes also had occasional contact with her parents (like a yearly dinner or smth) and so still has a lot of loyalty to them due to how they manipulated her and her relationship with her little siblings (7 yrs younger x 2, 2 yrs younger, 13 yrs younger). completely devoted to her church, would gladly martyr herself for them (however this wouldnt trigger the shockwave needed by the army). is loyal to her parents, the deacon, and then the church. is captured by the perine army after a raid on a noncombatant area and spends a lot of time figuring herself out. foil to serenina (esp in terms of loyalty & parents/siblings, emotions (eliya has a lot of them and shows them, serenina is the opposite), their royal treatment, their relationship with trust (serenina doesnt, eliya does and worringly easily). long golden hair, light blue eyes. wears neither a military uniform nor a priests’ uniform, instead wears a one-piece white ‘dress’ (really more a tunic/oversized shirt) & is barefoot. desperate for attention, praise, love, etc. widely disliked due to her POW status but she really thinks shes making all these friends. has quite literally not been able to make her own choices since she was 12 years old. above average alcohol tolerance but nowhere near yerick. 19 in human years.

[shelikesthosefunnypeople]

Pls explain more abt the ancient history thing b I’m very interested

Hello anon!

I know this was sent in months ago and I should have replied to it then but I’m a master procrastinator and life has been strange (before coronavirus kicked off I was in the middle of preparing for exams). Anyway, I’m happy to answer this.

I made a post in the distant past, basically saying that I think there is a view that history before 1800 is somehow less intellectual and that this is rooted in sexism. That post is here. Allow me to explain and please bare in mind that this is all just my opinion and is based off my experiences.

Apologies for the length.

Firstly, I love history. I’m a complete geek for it. I think it’s important, interesting and with a bit of luck I’ll be studying it at university soon. Therefore, this isn’t a post where I try to claim that actually history before 1800 is superior... because that’s just dumb. History is history and while historians can have personal preferences over which period they find most interesting, that doesn’t make that period “better” than any others. Literally. I mean, everything leading up to the present day didn’t happen in isolated, distinct boxes and all of it is useful to understanding how modern society has developed.

It makes sense that there is a general interest in “modern history”. After all, it is interesting and we have more information about it thanks to technological developments. The 20th century was a time of massive change if you compare 1900 to 2000 - although, I’m sure it’s easy for us to see the difference, seeing as the 20th century wasn’t so long ago in the grand scheme of things and many people who are alive today lived through a part of it. I’m sure people living in the early part of any century probably thought (if they had access to history) that the start and end of the previous century were hugely different. Nevertheless, I agree that the 20th century is quite profound in this respect, at least at the moment. In 100 years, who knows?

The 19th century also offers us a lot more remnants than its predecessors and I think culturally is still viewed as important. Some people have a rose tinted view of the 19th century. In Britain, I’d say it is seen by those of a certain political persuasion (check out Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg) as a time of peak Britishness(TM) and nationalistic pride... although that narrative is simplistic and disregards the suffering of the colonies and indeed the working classes of Britain, who had to prop up all this “greatness”. Anyway, I’m sure if you found a stuffy 19th century bloke, he would tell you how his society’s morality has gone to complete shambles and that he yearns for a bygone era that only really exists in his mind. I guess that’s just what some people always do. Conservatives, eh?

I’ll actually get to the point now.

At my college, there were two history courses available: modern (involving subjects such as the Russian Revolution and Britain from about 1950-2007) and pre-modern (involving subjects such as the crusades and the English Reformation). I took the latter course and was in a class of 18, where there were 13 girls and 5 boys. Generally, the modern history classes were weighted in the opposite way, which simply suggests that at my particular college with my particular year group, boys had a preference for modern history and girls for pre-modern. I would argue that this preference appears to be more widespread in general, but that’s not definite.

The fact that this difference existed is not the problem. The problem is what people perceived this difference to mean.

I was told by a boy (not a nice boy, so not a representation of everyone) who was studying history that the course I was taking was “the gay version”. That, of course, is a puerile insult for 2020 and highlights his maturity level - all history is very, very gay and if you take issue with that then I don’t know what to tell you. Get your head out of your arse, maybe? But anyway... why did he feel superior about studying a different bit of history?

It wasn’t just him. A (male) teacher once told me that the history course I had chosen wasn’t as useful as the other one and that the only use it had was that I could apply transferable essay writing skills to my other subjects. Which was bollocks, might I add. Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t a history teacher.

So, where were these views coming from? Why was the English Reformation - which was basically 16th century Brexit - seen as lesser than the Russian Revolution? The obvious argument one could make is that events that have happened more recently are more important and have more of an impact today. However, without the events of the years before them, would these events have happened either? Does the Church of England not still exist? Do we not have a statue of Richard the Lionheart in Westminster (because we like giving statues to tossers, apparently)?

In my opinion, the answer to this odd hierarchy of time periods lies in gender socialisation and the propensity of people to view history in the same way they view fiction. We know that the traditional male/female gender socialisation patterns are different: boys are socialised to be “tough”, “leaders”, “aggressive” etc. whilst girls are socialised to be “submissive”, “friendly”, “polite” etc. This is hopefully changing now but inbuilt, subconscious biases about the genders and what quantifies masculinity and femininity are still around. There is the stereotype of boys being interested in war due to the toys they were given to play with. Surprise, surprise - warfare in the 20th century alone was vastly different to anything that had come before it and, as I said, due to technology we have more archived about it. I’m not suggesting that only boys are interested in historical war - again, that’s a stereotype. Anyone can be interested in war, 20th century or otherwise. Despite this, I’m not going to pretend there still aren’t those guys who get waaaay into warfare and that their interest and knowledge in history is largely confined to that subject.

And that’s fine! You know, as long as you don’t start worshipping Hitler or anything equally creepy. People aren’t experts on every little bit of history and are allowed to have stereotypical interests.

Yet, that still doesn’t explain completely why “modern history” is viewed as more intellectual, just because maybe it appeals slightly more to men (apart from the obvious that anything men like is viewed as superior in some way).

As historical societies are notably different to our own - especially on the surface - and because there is so much historical fiction that seeks to romanticise it, it is not massively surprising that many people do see history as an extension to fiction. It’s gone, we live in the now, lots of people don’t even believe history matters. The fantasy genre has a habit of adopting historical (often medieval) settings for its tales. It’s an obvious example but Game of Thrones was a retelling of the Wars of the Roses, amongst other things. I think when fantasy is applied to history it makes it seem even less real than it may already and this can lead to it being taken less seriously (though please do watch Horrible Histories or Blackadder and take the piss out of all time periods because humans of every age have been fallible). Of course, it is far easier to romanticise and play around with times that are further from our own because they are further detached and therefore more fantastical. This plays into post-1800 being seen as more “real” and “intellectual”.

Some men who wish to keep women out of the historical circle accuse them of only being interested in history because of “romance” or “fancy dresses” - princesses and knights and fairytales. This is more a low down problem with internet trolls than actual, published historians but the issue still stands. If you view “pre-modern” history through this veil of fiction then it must seem rather childish compared to the stark brutality of the World Wars and the political rise of the New Right in the West. However, conversely, it could also be argued that the nationalism and legend attached to recent warfare makes it equally comparable to a story. Not a happy story but then, Game of Thrones isn’t a happy story either.

I don’t think anyone serious about history actually believes that the romantic, fantastical elements attached to any historical periods are 100% true. Hopefully, most people don’t see them as proof that being interested in a certain period makes you better than someone who is interested in another period. Any period can be romanticised, including the “modern” one - Titanic, anyone? Not to mention the frilly view we have of the Victorians (although that’s not silly because of the Britishness(TM), remember). Actually, using history in fiction and even making fiction about history isn’t even a bad thing and I certainly encourage it. I just think that the truth shouldn’t be conveniently forgotten by those with weird superiority complexes who think that because The Tudors was all about love trysts and fine clothing, the entire period is “girly” and a write off.

What am I saying amongst this rambling mess? The next time you see a girl going through her Ancient Egypt phase, don’t roll your eyes. Not if you wouldn’t do the same when you see a boy with an interest in WW2 tanks. Whichever way people come to their interest in the past is valid (apart from the creepy fascist worshipping I mentioned). A lot of things in our world are gendered when they shouldn’t be; history should be equally open to all and although there is a focus on the past 200 years (just look at the uni modules on offer), that doesn’t mean that if you are interested in the years before, your interest isn’t valid enough.

I hope I’ve managed to explain myself properly and have gotten through how gender plays into this sufficiently. I know this is a very niche thing to have an opinion on and I’d like to stress again that this is just my opinion and you are free to disagree with me. That said, if you send me hate then don’t expect a proper response.

Thanks for the ask!

[ambitionsource]

S1 Rewatch: Lena’s Take [1.06]

yes i am late. again. no i would not miss this.

favourite scene: zc cleaning up... zc cleaning UP!! god im so excited abt this! charlie being the first person in a long time to actually make zay feel understood, despite their glaring opposites! charlie’s incredibly sad but relatable line about feeling separated from your life! at the start of the season, zay and charlie seem like the two least likely people to cling together. so when we see their relationship starting to blossom— and really, here is where it REALLY STARTS. you could argue it’s 1.03, but that feels like a false start, with charlie immediately avoiding zay at the first sign of trouble on aaa confessions. here is where charlie and zay really begin: they’ve gotten to know each other. they’re on the same level, even if they’re not always on the same page. and charlie has taken time to digest the rumours and decide he wants to be zay’s friend... “friend”... anyway. ma’am. i just luv ‘em. also the little pat on the back... the “someone taught me how to have fun”, the playful nudge.... charlie sweetie ur flirting is SO obvious... who’s gonna tell him? me? alright...

favourite performance: we got 3 zay performances this ep, 2 of em solos, so naturally i am SPOILED with delight and glee. i really have to say perfect places because a) lorde, obviously, and it’s nice to see zay truly happy for a moment this episode, considering he spends most of it sad and lonely. it’s a moment to bring the kids together for zay, contrasting his isolation, and it’s one of the many showcases of the recurring fact that zay works so well when he’s thinking on his feet, and just GOING FOR IT. that’s what lands him the kossal program, later, and it’s a really nice character thing that im so glad is consistent... mr spontaneous. (ALSO CHARLIE SMILING AT HIM UP FROM THE KEYS.... NOT ABLE TO STOP LOOKING UP.... ZAY BECKONING CHARLIE ONSTAGE LIKE ITS COME HITHER....MY HEART.... zc own lorde)

favourite character this ep: zay. most of this review will be about zay. i love zay, and this was really HIS episode, more than anyone else’s. this is really nice especially because he’s taken a backseat most of the season, emotional growth wise (considering that more of him and charlies romance plotline is arguably more heavily focused on charlie’s emotional weight) and as much as i want to see him be happy, it’s nice to see him raw and plaintively sad. also. i repeat. 3 zay performances (2 whole solos!!) i am spoiled!! SPOILED!!

favourite line: “i’m familiar with his work, yes.” man i love rl i dont say so enough theyre so GOOD!!

an underrated moment: i really liked the moment when riley and isadora are at riley’s and her parents come in arguing, and isadora realizes for the first time that maybe riley doesn’t have a life as sunshiney as her personality. riley is a character so often taken for granted by the others, because she’s so pleasant and sunny and helpful and i think aaa students assume her life must be great, when really... it’s not. i think that must almost humanize her to isa, a little more. it’s like the paper towel in the bathroom from 1.0...3? i believe? riley’s not this powerful, all loving figure on a pedestal. she’s just a broken girl trying to fix the only things she can— putting everyone else back together.

something i missed the first time around: not something i MISSED, per se, but i really overlooked shawn & angela’s relationship plotline (because i tend to be more invested in the storylines of the teens) but they really are adorable. dancing in the living room. singing fleetwood mac. reconnecting at a more emotionally mature and stable place and time in their lives. what’s really cool is the contrast of their romance vs the kids’ romances. the teen romance in ambition is very... fresh. new. uncertain and unhinged. angela and shawn have been here before and they’re going back better. they’re still uncertain... but they fall slowly into it, instead of rushing with this nervous, charged energy that you have when you’re young but are still worried that time is running out. they’re softer, and it WORKS. and they’re very sweet. and what i really appreciate, not even solely for this episode, is that they don’t really... fight that much as a couple. they have arguments, probably, but they’re not constantly at each other’s throats anymore, almost as if the only thing they needed to solve it was a kiss and emotional commitment. nice...

first impression vs your reread impression: don’t really remember the first impression of this episode— other than loving it, obviously. but UGH upon further inspection ive decided i extra love it, i’m a sucker for everything— stripped covers, zc, rl, isa and lucas playing guitar like every cliché they’d try to avoid, learning isa can sing.. all so good. more pivotal character moments. more musical magic. more fun!

--

lena... once again ur takes... on fire! truly your mind!!! i literally live for these and am in love with the way you analyze zc. also maddi will love to read your thoughts on shawngela lmao, but totally agreeee! literally just... the mood of screaming about charlie being unable to NOT smile and watch zay perform while he’s supposed to be playing the piano... how he doesn’t even realize he’s flirting because he’s probably never actually flirted in his life aside from what he Thinks straight flirting is supposed to be (i.e. all those terribly awkward exchanges with riley LMFAO),,,,, like sir!!!!!! SIR!

[softdekus]

Tell us about your DA characters!!!!

aa thank you! I’ll put it under a read more so it doesn’t take up too much space, and fair warning...it’s pretty long. 

Tldr i have Feynhel and Pirras Lavellan, Selanz Adaar, Luelle and Hayden deLoriot- Camriel, and Tenar Brosca. I dont have any canon hawkes yet bc i haven’t gotten to play da2 and i wanna wait till i can to do that asdfas

First there’s Feynhel Lavellan, my most developed da character; he went through a backstory overhaul within the last year or two! When Inquisition starts he’s around 27, and he’d show up at Haven to be a companion pretty soon after the start of the game. He’s a gay trans man, and usually he ends up with either Pirras or Dorian(though if he were an actual companion he’d be open to romance by any male inquisitor). that’s a whole other subject entirely though that should probably be a post of it own lmao

    He was born in Orlais and left his family there to go join his father’s Dalish clan (Lavellan) when he was around 12. It was a fresh start he dearly needed considering his history with his mother. He’s a mage but had no interest in being First despite being very gifted with his magic, instead he was content to learn the basics and try to help out around the clan where needed. He apprenticed under the Clan’s craftmaster (Pirras’s father) and helped out the Hunters on occasion. Feyn’s father Thelras is a hunter and his stepmom, Shi’thra is a scout. He also has a younger brother named Cyrris, who’s now about 14 when Inquisition starts. 

    A big defining moment for him was when he was around 14/15 and had a close call with some Templars who wandered too close to where he was gathering craft supplies. He survived the encounter just barely, but since one of the Templars managed to retreat it made him paranoid of the possibility of being tracked. It’s part of the reason why he agreed to study under the Traveling Keeper who came to his clan looking for an apprentice some years later. He left for that when he was around 18/19 and has been away from his clan for most of the time after that, save for when he checks up with them in accordance to his duties. 

He takes his duties very seriously and has explored quite a few ruins in search of knowledge. He’s friendly with many and has quite a number of friends in the clans he’s visited across Thedas, as well as contacts outside of the clans. He loves to tell stories about the places he has visited and things he’s seen. He also will tend to hide the fact the he’s a mage(and by extension a Keeper) from most people until necessary, and he prefers to use a long sword or a dagger in most combat situations. He uses it as a focus for his magic and claims he simply had the blade enchanted. Overall he has a fairly diplomatic stance about many things, but he has strong morals and is very vocal about them if confronted with situations that challenge them. He’s generally a very warm and pleasant person to be around, although he’s tired pretty much all the time because he just refuses to sleep until he absolutely has to. I love him very much...

After him there’s my current/consequential Inquisitor, Pirras Lavellan. He has a lot less development but I have added a lot to him recently. When Inquisition starts he’s about 29, a couple years older than Feyn. He’s very bi, and very into Iron Bull if he and Feyn don’t get together. He’s Inquisitor only because he went to the conclave with Feyn and a small party of other Dalish scouts, but got too impatient and went ahead before everyone else. 

Pirras’ whole arc is about him growing out of his previously childish and arrogant behavior. It takes him until the end of Inquisition though and its pretty back and forth. He has a natural feel for magic and out of other apprentices he was pretty much a shoe-in for First. Family-wise, it’s been just him and his father Tala’ren since he was young, since his older brother(a mage) and mother were lost to Templars when returning from visiting another clan. After that he was fairly withdrawn even when his magic manifested. It wasn’t until Feyn showed up and tried to befriend him that he really opened up and became more outgoing. Pirras was constantly(and still does) treat everything like a competition and feels the need to try to impress everyone, especially Feyn. (despite Feyn telling him numerous times he doesn’t need to) 

Shortly before Feyn left and Pirras became First, he went into the forest to try and prove how ready he was and promptly got his ass handed to him by a bear that had been giving the clan’s hunters trouble. He barely made it by virtue of Feyn and another hunter showing up, only because Feyn and Tala’ren had an idea he might do something foolish. Up till and even after then he was fairly sheltered about life outside the clan, never having ventured to speak to humans when the clan traded largely due to his own strong dislike of them.

The events of Inquisition were a pretty big shock to him and he grows a lot and learns much more about responsibility than he did in the clan. Though he’s certainly eager to return to the clan after Corypheus is defeated. Pirras and Feyn have a..complicated on and off relationship that really needs more space than this to talk abt lol. 

Aside from those two we have my other Inquisitor, Selanz Adaar, who I haven’t really worked on in a long time. She’s 25 at the start of Inquisition, and fresh off her parent’s farm in Ferelden, only having done mercenary work for a couple of years when she heads to the conclave. 

She’s a dual-wield rogue, and one of her moms is a former Saarebas. Selanz is smart and cheerful and always ready for more action. She becomes fast friends with Sera, and most of the other companions(Sera and Selanz end up getting married in Trespasser and she later joins the Red Jennies.) She’s really intrigued by history and lore, and spends a lot of time in either the library going through all the books, or the garden checking on the various herbs growing since she knows her way around plants. As i said she isn’t nearly as developed as some others, but i should do another playthrough with her and fix that,,,

After that there’s Luelle and Hayden du Loriot-Camriel. Luelle is in their mid/late thirties, nonbinary(genderfluid they/she) and pan. Hayden is 25/26, a trans man and is bi.They’re both mages, Luelle trained as a Knight Enchanter and Hayden is a Spirit Healer.I’m toying with the idea of Luelle becoming my new HOF so their story is likely to change.

Luelle and Hayden are half-siblings, sharing the same human father of a minor noble house, while Hayden’s mother is actually a mistress. Though since both Luelle and Hayden’s mothers were quite close Hayden and his mother were allowed to live on the estate. Luelle was very protective of Hayden growing up, and still is currently, and Hayden feels the same way. 

Luelle’s magic manifested when she was around 14 and at a very bad time. Her elder sibling and Heir to the house had a number of bad habits, one of which included being particularly shitty to Luelle, a number of the servants, and even their parents. It was really a long time coming, but after a particular instance Luelle’s anger bubbled up and the magic just manifesting reacted to it in an explosive manner. Quite literally. The fiery explosion was so intense that it killed their sibling and burned her arm so badly it needed to be amputated. Their parents notified the Templars and after medical treatment they took Luelle to Ostwick before being transferred to the Ferelden circle(this is where it would branch to becoming HOF). At the circle she learned to control her magic very quickly under the constant watch of the Templars because she had already proven she could be dangerous. However, they were a quick learner and by the time the the events of Origins rolled around they were going to begin studying under a Knight Enchanter. In the event Luelle isn’t the HOF, they go through with their Knight Enchanter training but disappear

Meanwhile, since Luelle was a mage Hayden was left as the only heir. He didn’t want to be the heir but he took it in stride and was pretty spoiled, though he turned out very kind. He was upset with his father for sending Luelle so far away and not even telling him where,though he never actually brought it up and didn’t fully understand why it was such a bad thing that she was a mage. In secret, between his studies in the library he had actually been obtaining and reading books on magic. His magic manifested in a much more subtle way than Luelle’s did, he awoke one night to find his sheets had frozen where he was gripping them after a dream. He was able to keep his abilities a secret for a few months as he tried to learn more about controlling them from his books. His father found out on accident one day during dinner, where their mabari spooked him and he froze his glass. 

In contrast to Luelle’s situation, their parents were now desperate to keep some sort of heir. Instead of informing the Templars, Hayden’s father sought to hire an apostate tutor in secret, despite Hayden’s own desire to learn in a Circle(with the goal of finding out which circle Luelle had been sent to). Before his father could find an apostate to hire, Hayden simply packed up and left in the middle of the night to find Templars to take him to a circle. He was around 12, and like Luelle he learned very quickly and had a strong desire to become a healer. He became a capable spirit healer about 3-4 years before Inquisition starts, and if he joins the Inquisition as a healer after being contacted near the Crossroads in Ferelden while accompanying a group of mages and tranquil in aiding refugees from the fighting.

Then theres my main Hero of Ferelden, Tenar Brosca. He’s a two-handed warrior and Berserker specialization. He’s trans and bi bc i say so, and romanced either Zevran or Alistair.(i did playthrough for each and couldn’t,,,decide which i liked more) He is sort of morally questionable with a dark sense of humor(him and Morrigan get along rlly well), but from exposure to his companions he’s grown a bit and is trying to be a better person. He doesn’t have nearly as much to his backstory bc i haven’t really messed w him in a while, but he goes along with the dark ritual with Morrigan, and does some adventuring with Zevran before he eventually plans to help the Wardens rebuild.

There’s also a few other characters i have but for the main ones thats it sldakfj

[scbines]

WORD okay what up i’m ally, i’m twenty1, i use she/her pronouns, my timezone is est & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. go to read this complete shit storm okay i’m Trying.. anywhen! i may or may not have uhhh copied & pasted the majority of this from the last time i played her but.. that’s neither her nor there, tbh! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord bhvfjn. MOVING ON..

cw: alcohol, neglect, sex ( & i think that’s it, folks! )

sab’s pinterest: here!

( sofia carson, cisfemale ) did you hear how SABINE VALDEZ is applying to columbia university as a PHILOSOPHY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +MAGNETIC and +INTREPID, but honestly i think SHE can be -FLIGHTY and -VOLATILE. they’re a real CATACLYSM. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

imma just dive right in cos idk how else to go about it bgvjn

sabine grew up w/ a single mom in Detroit & they were basically skating the line between lower class and poverty, meaning they had like a proper house, but they were definitely behind on mortgage always and living paycheck to paycheck :// like when they went grocery shopping & sab would put anything but the basics in the cart her mom would look at her like ‘that’s a joke, right?’ and never could afford like birthday/christmas presents or cake or anything rip ( honestly not that sab’s mom gave enough a shit to even notice smh ) ! so everything was always a little .. hectic ig ? her mom couldnt ever relax unless she was blackout drunk so uhh that’s p much that on that sighs

even worse?? when sab was about eleven her mom got injured at work ( dont ask me How cos i have? no idea hibgfnjd i’ll flesh it out at some point.. maybe .. probably not.. ) so she and sab lived on disability checks and whatever small money sab could make helping her neighbors with like yard work/babysitting/shit like that until she was old enough to get a real job smh meaning she’s been working as long as she can remember god im exhausted just typing it

this basically left sab to raise herself, which .. most likely left her better off than if her mom paid her more attention tbh? cos her mom is selfish and doesnt care about anything but the next drink & the next man she’ll be inviting home smh !! the whole thing w/ her mom is that she Never Wanted kids but it wasn’t an option to abort or give sab up for adoption so she was Stuck raising a kid she never wanted .. truly .. rip ..

that said, sab’s mom was .. promiscuous to say the least .. all thru sab’s childhood there were countless nameless men in and out of their lives ranging from a day to a few weeks at most SIGHS anyways this of course led to sab having a seriously warped idea of what a healthy relationship is HELLO hvicnjm it’s super flawed to the point where she thinks the height of healthy relationship goals is to be exclusive for more than a few weeks smfh its wild tbh .. romance? dont know her! love? WHOMST? to sabine, there’s no point in bothering to rely or care for someone else because you’ll just end up disappointed so she ? keeps her distance for the most part.. relying Solely on herself cos thats the only person who wont let her down ( while also suffering from deeply rooted self-hatred? wow .. legends only .. )

anyways !! she Hated detroit like nobody’s business and always wanted nothing more than to Get Away from the toxicity of her home life and the suffocation of being the caregiver for a woman who will hardly get out of her bed gtg !!! so this led to her putting all her focus into after school jobs and making sure she was the top of her class At All Times like .. shes always been super determined and goal oriented but to a fault if that makes sense. she will work her ass off when given reason to, but once she’s accomplished that goal, she feels absolutely aimless sighs

bitch had .. like 3 jobs in hs and applied to a dozen schools, all of them at least 100 miles from detroit like Word ! she applied to columbia on a whim not thinking she’d get in but when she got that acceptance letter you can bet ur ass the bitch was Outta There!!

getting here tho … she isnt sure what to do next ihbvfcnj she never thought as far as majors and actually choosing what to do with the rest of her life so she?????? is undetermined about p much everything hgvifncjd but philosophy seems like the cop out she’s been looking for lmao !!!

anyways she works at a shitty diner not too far from campus like almost every day after classes but on weekends she COUGHS strips across town hibvfncj HA didnt see that coming did ya smh hibfnjd but!! she does it across town cos she lk wants it to stay a secret like she doesnt need to kick a frat boy’s ass for making shitty comments now does she??? but i mean .. its not something she’s ashamed of, she’s just Not Interested in having people she hates talk shit and slut shame ygm??

being so busy all the time, she doesn’t really have time for any school activities but she’s down for a party at any time ( esp if its like themed hbifnjd she loves a costume ) and uhh dtf too lbr shes v in touch w/ her sexuality #freethenipple ( does she even own a single bra?? we just don’t know! )

THAT SAID !! she doesnt correlate sex with like .. emotions?? cos shes never seen them in a situation where they’re mutually exclusive rip :// this led to her thinking people only ever Wanted Something from her be it her body or like a chance to put her down to feel better abt themselves smh ! she isnt a generally violent person but if it’s the latter she’s more likely to throw a few choice words in ur direction hvifcnj

generally, sab’s p much just ur Stressed Out Scholarship Student just trying to graduate so her life isnt a fucking trainwreck like her mom’s! she’s desperate for both human affection and adventure, so offer her one, the other or both and her heart is yours tbh! as much as she’ll pretend its not lmao !!1!1!!!!

anywhomst i cannot for the life of me think of anything else to type her atm since im??? garbage???? but !! mssg me if u wanna plot smthn out fam since uhh sab having friends??? sounds like a pipe dream tbh and im desperate for it lol!