#its dire in here guys
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ohhh guys. guys. i might be making a comic for the pdsmp au
#my post#guys its bad#im in too deep about this#xd is the trickster now#drista is the original wisperer bcus i feel the need to include her in all of my aus#also ghoul is a dreamon (building off of drm being mal)#also decided that dreamon hunters was part of tubbos backstory. woe spirit world madness be upon all of ye#its funny i feel like im building tubbo to be the most like william. apart from actually being the wisperer. like no sorry i inflicted that#upon ranboo instead#yaaaay <333#hm yeah i think thats all the updates#its dire in here guys
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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No like seriously ARE we ready to talk about the misogyny in fandom spaces
#or more so like. the disparity. of depictions of men vs of women. i#and like. dear god. it's dire out here sometimes#um. anyway i dont say this to like invalidate anyone and i worry that by even saying this it feels terfy?#but its like no u can talk about misogyny while including trans people especially bc of the overlap. heterocissexism. is ghat a word#like . ugh i just. its never like an individual thing i have beef with u know#like if someone tends to prefer male characters or writing men loving men im never gonna shit on em yk#it just . bothers me how large of a trend it is#especially in comparison to f/f...#like jave u see the differences on ao4#ao3*#or the differences in how people talk about men vs women here#obviously theres room outside that binary and i fucking hate it as it stands anyway but it does stand and we should talk about it.#like i dont think this is just a cis issue at all. we should also talk about how we talk about nonbinary or gender non conforming characters#but its also like can we be normal about women too. and not prioritize men always . um#hey guys . rambling in the tags is all to say. this post explicitly includes trans people. i will not tolerate any#transphobic rhetoric on any responses to it. you will be blocked.#sierra speaks#misogyny in fandom
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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my cat is giving me judgmental looks over my reaction to this qphil cinematic :(
#VODWATCHING#fellas im like a month behind its dire out here#anyways. im having A Time#the amount of times i've flipped off the screen... this fuckin guy...#exploding him with my mind
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Wanting to keep the number of chapters at exactly 20 Vs. The desire to tie up some emotional lose ends FIGHT
#writing woes#talkin#guys its dire out here#like#i dont NEED to do either#like i COULD go over 20#but i also DONT NEED to weite those extra scenes like#also this is of course in refernece to IWOaMoT#which has quite franky the WORST abbreviated name on earth#i mean i guess its better than SHGtPaP(WBU)? or RBGtRaC(aDwIF)?#christ i need to stop making the names of my fics so damn long#ACTUALLY i need to stop making my FICS so damn long#ok enough rambling
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I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.
#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you#we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends#dora daily#I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the#whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go#through all that trouble#‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope#I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need#I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world#not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye#idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this#and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder#like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me#I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me#and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay#the same girl who tells me to move out btw#my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers#and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that#it’s honestly ironic#like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee#and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential#it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful#she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12#‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right
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"Return of THE KING" about Moe as if. I'm not CONSTANTLY on my bullshit about it. I need to forcemasc it though the situation is so dire. LIKE. Exclusive it/its/itself user but also fucks with masculine titles/language. As part of its identity, but also an elaborate parody. Guy who's doing it Wrong ON PURPOSE. WITH INTENT. TO KILL‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#moe tag#moe lore#'it's dire' like. when i get dysphoric or when too many wires get crossed. i'm always so upset when it happens#but i end up misgendering moe. like. when it comes to the themes/dynamics i want to explore#and where it does stem from. not to put my issues on blast again god have mercy on my wretched soul#<- IRONIC STATEMENT. JOKE.#<- but also. what i mean to say is please. i've already hurt So Much.#like. does anybody wanna join me. on my journey. to forcemasc moe.#moe DOES have its own VERY distinct identity and that does not change. it fits!#but what i'm saying is we need to inject more gender into it. guy style. man style even.#like like boy def feels too cutesy. too young. there WAS a point where boy would have fit but moe has grown into itself now#also. i'm still here 'i'm a boy - no i'm a man / you can't take me and throw me away' ect ect.#sorry rereading the 'inject more gender man style' and i'm jusyt. thinking of n offshoot to a specific post.#alfonse injecting more gender man style into moe with his penis.#(post i was thinking of was originally about autism good post idk if i would ever be able to find it. so just trust me.)#really really good start though.#<- says this as if this is a new development and like. not already a part of moe's complex about alfonse.#really really good post though. let's hit the showers.
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its a shame the um. everything. about the piapro superpack overshadowed the demos because they were pretty cute and fun, i really liked rokka sanka specifically - its such a fun cartoon idol franchise-y full cast song and i still get it stuck in my head all the time. kimi no moto eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
youtube
#i wish there was an official off vocal out there id love to try making a midi of it#although i guess lack of real offvocal has not stopped me before....#the demo by wotaku also ruled. leisure. they have a fun day at the zoo :) and its. fucking hardstyle. awesome#that actually does have an official off vocal. so who knows what the future holes. wink wonk (guy who never finishes midis voice)#i still kiiiinda like meiko and kaito tho. like theyre no where near as good as their v1 tone and meiko sounds a little worse than her v3#but kaito is like on par with his v3 for me LOL they have their pros and cons. when people xsy his sp and his straight i like it quite a bi#gives it the clearer consonants while removing some of that hashtag sp noise#and i mean miku rin and len are serviceable i thought. im not a miku rin or lenhead tho so take my opinion with a grain of salt#there is no defending luka sp tho that was dire. again im not a lukahead but even i could tell. im so sorry lukaheads#the biggest missed opportunity for me with the superpack tho is that noisey tone they all have that like. muffles all their voices#which is fine if ur doing a song with just one maaaybe two of them. but the fun of a pack of all six characters. at least to me.#should be like making big fun group songs like this? big idol songs etc. but mixing them. sounds like a nightmare#because its like. their noise just compounds together... here they did wonderfully and even then you can hear how it like#sounds less like 6 people singing and more like maybe 3 during the all together parts#such a shame. maybe someday we will get nicer releases. maybe
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seahawks won today by 20 points i know thats fucking righttttttt 🙏
#sorry for football posting but its been so dire out here the last 3 weeks u guys have no idea JFKDNFKD#literally nothing else matters to me today we won peace and love on planet Earth‼️#txt
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anyways my lovely whimsies i think i was only fully active for like 3 hours today ???? but im tired already so goodnight and ill see u all tomorrow <3
#yena talks#being active is HARD bro#also the weather is getting all brr and my social battery is in dire need of a replacement bc its just. GONE#but man i love u guys so i do my best to be here as much as i can#lovely little whimsy of fairies that you are. also people who havent visited my blog in a while will be v confused by tht name#missed out on key bits of recent fairyhdoas lore there#also i think i spent most of tofay just solely andwering asks#which is always fun and i love thay very kuch omg but i just realisef that thats all i did#and also talk way too kuch ib the tags. like rn. ok i need to sleep goodnight
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i know arknights fans are cowards because what do you MEAN i've never once seen endspeaker pussy/dick in the two years since SN's release
#like yes yes i know if you want it do it yourself but like come on guys.#there's so few people doing cool ak smut and even fewer that are monsterfuckers its so dire in here
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i dont want a job and i dont want tasks i want. To talk to the friends in my phone.
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My Hiveswap/Hauntswitch end game prediction is that the monsters are 1000000% got to do with the trolls
#been listening to the hiveswap ost and aughjjjjjjhhhhhh#alternia when its not overshadowed by other emotions and/or themes has a very plodding almost brassy feel to it#even when there is no brass instruments#DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAS A VERY OBVIOUS BRASSY FEEL TO IT?????#things are getting dire guys im using instruments to base theories on#hiveswap act 3 needs to be here sooner or I'm going to die
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The planned parenthood closest to me 2 hrs away accepts my newly acquired health insurance lol what if i speedrun relearning how to drive, learning to drive to Out of Town + take myself up there for hrt appointment haha + then i somehow manage to consistently get my prescription back home AND be on T without arousing the suspicion of my parents somehow lol haha lmao
#talkys#life is so hard for a guy who's never gonna come out and is struggling to move away but even then#if i move its not like i wont ever see my parents again.#hm. actually maybe being here while i Change wld be better bc its harder to notice changes as they gradually happen?#idk. id need a back up plan. im pretty sure my mom would do something dire.#but im getting really desperate considering that texas is preparing to just shut down all hrt providing for adults. lol.#AND considering im 25 years old and have been actively thinking about this since age 12. 😭
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petition for Marc to go at Fabio s room for doing him so dirty on FRENCH television.
What Fabio does next is up to him 🫦
what they end up doing:
#you are not getting me to a secondary location here....#callie speaks#asks#its fun i like when my mutuals post about it and YES fabio wants to fuck marc but its not for meeeeeeeeeeee#i do love you fabio... loverboy...#everyone being so sad about marc choosing pecco was so funny though im sorry. like i think if the preceeding question hadnt been#sepang trauma soaked you guys wouldve pulled it out there. but sadly vale has damaged him lol#fabio is out here singing casual by chappell roan and marc isnt even eating him out in the passenger seat it is DIRE
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