#its debatable who had “worse things” happen to them
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The whole "transandrophobia debate" is so tiring. I've been here long enough to have seen people not just say the same exact shit about aromantic and ace people, or even bi people, but transmen and mascs themselves. Like, not only have we figuratively been here, with people using the exact same talking points against aros, aces, bis, nonbinary people, literally just people using neopronouns, etc. etc. but we've also LITERALLY been here before.
It's especially frustrating because it was only a few years back that conversations finally opened up to address the damage people like Calvin Garrah and Blair White have done internally to the trans community; and now we get to log onto tumblr-dot-com and watch people get called "whiny afab trans people" and "they-fab" AGAIN.
I'm just so tired of people who do not know queer history, especially not the shit that has happened on this website alone in the past 15 years, picking a new letter of the acronym that is acceptable to bully, walking into the tags that group made for themselves to discuss their own issues, and telling them they're wrong and disgusting for "taking up space" in the queer community.
huge round of applause for this ask, seriously. thank you so fucking much. thank you for taking the time to write this up and send it. i hope you're having a wonderful day. sorry for the long ass text dump, but you brought up so many good points that i want to touch on
Like, not only have we figuratively been here, with people using the exact same talking points against aros, aces, bis, nonbinary people, literally just people using neopronouns, etc. etc. but we've also LITERALLY been here before.
EXACTLY this. it's literally the exact. same. bullshit. that people have pulled in the past. i cannot stress enough about how the anti transmasc rhetoric right now is exactly like the anti ace and anti aro bullshit we had going on 5 - 10 years ago. it was seriously bad and it's the exact same as this is now. people were so obsessed with hating aromantics and asexuals in the exact same fashion. nearly every other post had aros or aces as the butt of the joke. people were just constantly making posts making fun of sex repulsed aces. telling us that we're "not really queer" and that we're just "taking up space and resources". it was literally the NORM to bully aromantic and ace people on here for YEARS. it was like EVERYONE had a shitty opinion about aromanticism and asexuality and they NEEDED you to hear it. it was relentless. it was inescapable. it's still happening, but it used to be even worse because people were just obsessed with waking up and mocking aros and aces on this hellsite.
and now people are doing the exact. same. thing. to trans men and transmascs. the new punching bag has been chosen and its transmascs and men. and people will do ANYTHING to make them the butt of the joke, no matter WHAT the conversation is. tiktoks and instagram reels and twitter and tumblr posts talking about how people gladly misgender transmascs and tell them they're "confused girls" and "delusional tomboys". i cannot stress that it is the exact same intensity and level of hostility as what you pointed out. it's the same. it's not to say that this didn't happen before.
like anon pointed out, people were treating trans men and mascs like shit back THEN too. back then, they were getting mocked for being "uwu soft deer prince boys" and white boys with fluffy hair and shit like that. they were getting told that T would make them aggressive and ugly and that they'd instantly go bald. people would literally torment guys who wanted to take T. people were so mean about T back then, not like it's gotten any better. people would yell at transmascs and go "TESTOSTERONE WON'T MAKE YOU INTO AN ANIME TWINK!!!!" and other weird ass shit. people were still treating trans men and mascs this way 10 years ago, it's just gotten worse and worse and worse.
honestly i'm SO sick of people calling AFAB people "whiny". i'm SO sick of it. i'm intersex, i'm not AFAB, and I'M tired of seeing people treat each other like this. it's not cool to hate on AFAB people! it's not cool to make fun of AFAB trans people! it's not cool to refuse to say trans man and say "AFAB trans person" instead! it's not cool to be an asshole!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna say it:
if you perceive an AFAB trans person or """"THEY-FAB""" talking about their issues in a serious manner as "whining," you are being misogynistic as fuck. if you think that people assigned female at birth are inherently whiny literally just for TALKING, you are being misogynistic as HELL. the fact that word that these people default to is "whiny" speaks a lot. like that specific word is crucial because it tells you literally every single thing they think about AFAB people. it's so misogynistic it makes me literally see red. they are stuck on the fact that that person is AFAB, and because that involves the concept of "female", it means that that person is inherently whiny, stupid, and annoying. this is sexism. this is misogyny. it's NOT progressive, and it becomes transandrophobia really quickly! which is a real thing that you need to care about!
if you've lived a transmasculine or trans man life, you know that transandrophobia is real. that's why i've never understood the "Transandrophobia isn't real" thing because. if it's mostly trans women and transfemmes who aren't also trans men telling you that transandrophobia isn't real... how the hell would they even know that? like ask yourself how the hell would a transfeminine trans woman know what it's like to live as a trans man? it's not comparable to when that woman was a cis man. cis manhood and trans manhood are not the same thing at all in terms of how we're treated societally. you can't compare the way cis men are treated to the way trans men are treated, they're not the same.
if they're not transmasculine, and they're not a trans man... how the hell would they know how people treat transmascs and trans men? i mean seriously think about it. why would you listen to someone other than a trans man about the experiences trans men face. what the hell? like seriously why are we encouraging trans women and transfemmes to talk about the transmasculine experience if they haven't lived it? why are we encouraging trans women and femmes to TALK OVER trans men and mascs? why are we encouraging trans women and transfemmes to speak as experts on a life they literally do not lead? why are we encouraging people who literally don't know what it's like to talk about the experience like they live it every day? this makes no fucking sense.
nobody encourages you to listen to trans men talking about trans women and their experiences and life like they've been there personally. nobody encourages you to listen to trans men explain OTHER PEOPLE'S struggles and identities FOR them. i don't like that we've created a narrative where AMAB trans women and transfemmes are the only ones who are "right" about things and thus the only ones we should listen to, and the only ones who have the right to talk. trans women and transfemmes have so much to offer our community, and we do need to listen. we do need to care about our transfeminine sisters. we do need to listen to what it's like to be a trans woman. trans women and transfemmes can be wildly intelligent, insightful, caring, compassionate and wonderful people, and can know and learn a lot about life, but that doesn't mean that we know every single experience out there firsthand. i don't like the idea that people think that trans women and transfemmes know EVERYTHING about queerness and should be your ONLY resource on it.
i don't like that. it creates an echo chamber.
why can't we let trans men, transmascs, and AFAB trans people speak for themselves? like seriously: why? what's the reason? literally what is the reason because i can't find it. there's literally no good reason to tell someone to shut up just because they're AFAB. have we forgotten the concepts of sexism and bioessentialism?
imagine if people went around saying "whiny they-mabs".
imagine if people were on here saying "whiny AMAB trans people".
the queer community seems to go through cycles where people pick a handful of identities to use as a punching bag and a scapegoat. that's all this is. people want to scapegoat trans men, transmascs, and AFAB trans people into being the "bad actors" that they can blame for all of their problems and "everything that's wrong with the queer community". they want to blame all of their problems on us because facing their problems head on is hard and scary. they want to blame us for everything wrong in the community instead of lifting a finger to improve it. they want to make trans men look like evil, shitty assholes to try to make trans women look better by proxy and it just. isn't. working.
like, as a trans woman, i'm honestly just fucking over the "only listen to trans women/transfemmes" shit because it feels like virtue signalling and an attempt to suck up to us for brownie points. it's really not flattering at all. it's honestly insulting. we're not the monolith of the queer community. we are manipulated, abused, and oppressed, but that doesn't mean you have to shut other people up when they talk about their own oppression. i have to be real with you, so much of this behavior just comes across as people parroting something just so they can be accepted into a group, to belong somewhere. it feels like a lot of insecure people who just want a pat on the back for saying something easy. it feels like people genuinely don't give a shit about what we have to say and are more concerned with showing off "how much they care" about our struggles. you know... virtue signalling. it feels disingenuous and like it's being done for display purposes only.
it also seems like a lot of people just join the queer community because they view it as the Catty Petty Bitch Drama Community. like some people latch on to that really bitchy catty sassy gay man stereotype and think that's all there is to queerness. they think all it is is bullying other people and telling them what to do and being mean for how they dress, act, present and feel. they want someone to bully. they want someone they perceive as weaker than them to harass. they want to join the community so they can pick a "team" to fight against all the other "teams". people want to turn it into an us vs. them within the community itself, and i have no fucking idea why.
if you are frustrated with cisheteronormative society and how it treats you, don't punch laterally. don't punch down on someone who's on your own team. you don't need to hurt other queer people, we aren't the ones who hurt you. you'll feel like an empty husk for the rest of your life if all you do is chase catharsis, as it is fleeting, not fulfilling.
#asks#feedback#answers#important#transmasc#transmasculine#transandrophobia#trans man#trans men#trans infighting
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something i was thinking about on stand yesterday.. danganronpa shsl lifeguard who tries to save a dying person they find, bonus points if they dont come clean about it at first because they think they actually killed that person with their efforts
#or if they do actually kill them which would be really tragic. this happens in chapter 4 of course#ok i actually put way too much thought into this. to put it into perspective i had shifts with 5 hours on stand saturdsy and sunday#i thought of it on saturday 20 mins in. so this concept has been in my brain for a while#anywayyy im thinking she had some pretty high profile eddie aikau type saves and got a little famous off that#AND is always offering to help people#so for the sake of writing another tragic athlete yuri ch4: i think the victim in her case is someone who is adamant about not wanting help#like a woman playing a sport typically seen as being manly (american football rugby wrestling etc etc)#im imagining shes from a family of pretty good (male) athletes and is constantly dealing with comparisons to portray her as weaker#she wont accept help or medical assistance because she thinks it makes her weak. which is a trait female characters should have more#so you get two really valid worldviews and its debatable whether the victim actually needed medical assistance/help or if it#just made things worse#anyway im imagining the ending of the previous chapter shows a black screen with#'unknown: hey hey are you okay?'#and ms life guard tries to give her situationship a slightly dignified resting place so we dont discover the body for a little while#not too long but a little while#actually i think the lifeguard killing the athlete with chest compressions would make a really compelling scenario#where the actual person with murderous intent was someone who poisoned or near-fatally hit the athlete#and they get to walk free (under extreme suspicion from other students) while the girl who got sooo close to saving her dies#lifeguard could be someone whos easily distracted but locks in while on duty to the point where shes like a different person#but slipping up and breaking the athletes rib (or whatever) was her one moment of panic#because she cared about the victim on a personal level#i neednto be sedated so i shut the fuck up. tomorrow is the first day of school bro#i DID say i had 10 hours to think about this
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second chances | s.r.
the one where Spence regrets everything that’s happened in the past six months.
pairing: spencer reid x bau!reader category: angst, fluff cw: none wc: 3.3k a/n: this took forever to write because every time i tried writing it i absolutely hated how it came out. i’m hoping i gave them the ending they deserved and that you all love it! also please let me know if there's any warnings I should add.
pt.1 masterlist spencer reid masterlist
The entire car ride home was a blur, and you mean that literally. The tears that coated your eyes never seemed to stop even after you arrived back home. The dull hum of the engine couldn't seem to drown out the noise-deafening pounding in your chest.
You couldn't help but replay every moment from tonight on a loop, the gut wrenching realization that Spencer moved on so quickly, so easily. It felt as if your entire world had been tilted on its axis and you were left to live in a reality that didn't make any sense.
Maya. You hadn't been able to look at her without a sharp pang of jealousy making its way though your chest. The way she spoke to Spencer, so casually, so possessively like you were going to take her from him at any second. But in reality that's what she did to you.
You told yourself that you were fine, that you had enough time to move on and get over that relationship, but its clear you were lying to yourself. Every moment you were in his presence were the few moments of bliss where you could pretend everything with him was normal.
You had loved him. You still did. The harsh truth of that might've hurt worse than tonight's events.
Once you finally arrived home you didn't bother to go inside right away. Turning off the car you sit staring at the dashboard, trying to ground yourself in something, anything but the whirlwind of emotions going on in your mind right now.
As your about to open the door, your phone buzzes in the passenger seat. Picking it up you see it's a message from Penelope.
From: Penny
Are you okay, sweetheart? If you need anything I'm just a phone call away. Please don't let his stupidity ruin your night, we all know how much of an amazing person you are!
A small smile painted its way across your features, though drained and not very genuine.
You quickly texted her back letting her know you were okay and just needed some time to process everything. With that you finally got out of the car making your way inside, preparing for another sleepless night.
-
You had taken the day off. Well technically you didn't request it, it was given to you by Hotch. The team had just gotten back from a long gruesome case and he decided that everyone needed some time to decompress.
It had been a couple weeks since 'The Incident' as Emily has so kindly labeled it. Since then the unkind thoughts hadn't left your mind.
You spent most of the day curled up on the couch barely able to focus on the movies playing on the TV. Your mind was a storm of thoughts that blossomed from that night, though not into flowers, more so like weeds that didn't want to fully be pulled from the ground.
You replayed every word he said that night. Every glance, subtle expression. There was no warmth in his tone, nothing that suggested the gentle, awkward genius who had found solace in your presence.
You knew it hurt, but what hurt more was the realization that Spencer wasn't the only thing you lost that night. You were mourning the loss of what had been, what could've been.
-
The next morning, you showed up at the office. The decision half-hearted, debating on requesting for another day out of the crowded space. You're not sure what you were expecting, for something to just change overnight, or if you needed to prove to yourself that you could handle it.
You walked in to see the team gathered around the bullpen. Derek was leaning against the counter, talking animatedly to JJ, while Penelope was chattering away in her usual high-energy manner. They all seemed fine, but you knew they could feel your emotions. You had always worn them on your sleeve, and the team was nothing if not perceptive.
And Spencer? He was nowhere to be found.
Your heart dropped, but you quickly masked the disappointment with a neutral expression. You couldn’t allow yourself to think about him right now, not with everything else going on.
As you slid into your chair, you could feel their eyes on you every now and then, but none of them dared to speak up. It was only when the elevator doors opened that you saw Spencer walking toward the bullpen. His usual awkward stride was missing, replaced by something… hesitant. His eyes briefly met yours, but instead of the usual spark of familiarity, there was something different. Something strained.
He was carrying a large coffee cup in his hand, but it seemed like he was just holding it for the sake of holding it.
“y/n,” he said softly, his voice laced with the same uncertainty that had been present in his eyes. You barely met his gaze, your stomach doing somersaults at the sight of him.
“Spence,” you said, offering a forced smile. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing, but you couldn’t let yourself show it.
“I, uh, can we talk?” he asked, his words tumbling out in that way that was so quintessentially Spencer.
Your gaze flickered around the room, but you didn’t want to make a scene. “Now’s not the best time.”
He nodded, but you could see the disappointment in his face. He hesitated for a moment before turning away and heading to his own desk. You didn’t watch him go, how could you?
-
Hours passed, and the tension between you and Spencer lingered like a heavy fog. Every now and then, you caught his eyes lingering on you when he thought you weren’t looking, but every time you met his gaze, he looked away.
You were exhausted. Your mind was scattered. And when you finally gathered the courage to step away from your desk to grab a coffee, it was then that Spencer decided to approach you.
“y/n,” he called out gently, his voice softer now, less urgent.
You paused mid-step, not sure how to respond. His presence was overwhelming, and even though you wanted to retreat, you knew you couldn’t keep avoiding him forever.
Turning around slowly, you nodded. “Spencer.”
“Can we talk?” he asked again, this time with more sincerity in his voice.
You studied him carefully, unsure whether you could trust yourself to keep calm. “Do we really need to? I think we’ve said everything we need to say.”
“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “I don’t think we have. At least not yet.” He paused, looking down at his feet. “Please.”
You could hear the desperation in his voice, and for the first time since that night, you allowed yourself to truly look at him. You didn’t know what had changed, but you knew it was something important. You had loved Spencer for so long, and maybe it was time to let him explain himself.
“Alright,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s talk.”
-
The conference room door clicked shut behind you, and for a brief moment, you felt like you were trapped. The silence was thick, oppressive. Spencer stood by the window, facing away from you, his shoulders tense, his hands hanging stiffly at his sides. He didn’t move, didn’t speak. The space between you felt impossibly wide, like an ocean stretching between two distant shores.
You wanted to scream. To demand answers. To ask why. But you couldn’t, because the truth was, you were too scared of what might come next. The flood of emotions coursing through you felt like too much to bear. And the pain? The pain was undying.
Finally, Spencer spoke, but his voice was soft, almost trembling. “I never meant to hurt you,” he said, his words breaking the stillness in the room, but they did little to ease the ache in your chest.
He turned slowly, his eyes dropping to the floor as if he couldn’t bear to look at you. “I’m so sorry. For the way I ended things... for pushing you away.”
His gaze finally met yours, but there was no spark there, no warmth. Just an empty, hollow ache, the same one you felt. The distance between you both was palpable.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “I thought I was protecting you. I thought I was giving you space to breathe… to move on. To get away from the chaos that’s always been a part of my life.”
The words struck you like a punch to the gut. Protecting you? Was that what this was? Did he think he was being noble by choosing to shut you out?
“You pushed me away, Spencer,” you said, your voice trembling with the rawness of everything you were holding in. “I didn’t ask for space. I didn’t ask for you to shut me out. I was here… I've always been here.” The anger, the hurt, it all poured out of you, and you couldn’t stop it even if you tried. “I just needed you to be honest with me. To tell me the truth, not hide behind your fears.”
His face faltered at your words, and for a moment, he looked like he might crumble under the weight of your pain. “I was scared,” he admitted, his voice breaking as if he hadn’t even meant to say it. “I was scared that if I kept you close, I would ruin everything. That I’d hurt you more. I thought if I pulled away, you’d be better off without me. But all I’ve done is hurt you even more.”
The truth of his words hit you like a wave, but it didn’t bring relief. Instead, it left you feeling raw, exposed. How could he think that? How could he think leaving was the solution? You had been through so much together. But the thought of him choosing to walk away, of him choosing her, it crushed you.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you, Spencer,” you whispered, the tears you had been holding back threatening to spill over. Your heart was breaking, the weight of everything that had happened too much to carry anymore.
“You didn’t just break my heart… you broke me. I was waiting for you. I thought... I thought we could work through this. But you didn’t give me a chance. And now you’re asking me to just… what? To just forget?”
Spencer’s face crumpled as if your words were a physical blow, but he didn’t look away. He couldn’t. He was broken too, and for the first time, he looked vulnerable, scared even. “I don’t want you to forget,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion.
“I just want a chance. A chance to prove that I’m not that guy anymore. That I’m not the one who left you… that I’m the one who’s ready to fight for us.”
You shook your head, a sob escaping before you could stop it. “I don’t know if I can believe you anymore, Spencer. I don’t know if I can trust you after everything.”
He stepped forward, his hands trembling as they reached out toward you. “Please,” he whispered, desperation creeping into his voice. “I’ve spent every second of the last six months thinking about how much I screwed up, wishing I could go back and do things differently. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you.”
Your breath caught in your throat, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest, erratic, unsure whether it was breaking or yearning for something—anything that might bring you peace. You knew Spencer had made mistakes, but he wasn’t the only one at fault. You had kept yourself at a distance too, not because you wanted to, but because you were terrified of what this might mean. Of what letting him back in might cost you.
“I’m scared, Spencer,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I’m scared that if I let you back in, you’ll leave again. That you’ll hurt me again.”
He closed the distance between you, standing just inches away now. You could see the unshed tears in his eyes, the way his face was etched with guilt and regret. He reached for your hand, but instead of pulling away, you let him. You let him hold you, as fragile as it felt, as broken as you both were in that moment.
“I won’t leave again,” he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I swear. I’ll fight for you. For us. I’ll fight for as long as it takes.”
The raw honesty in his voice, his words full of pain, of hope. It made something inside you snap. The walls you had built around your heart were crumbling, piece by piece. You didn’t know if you could ever go back to the way things were, but maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something new. Something better.
“I’m not asking for things to be perfect,” Spencer continued, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand, the small touch making your pulse race. “I just need you to know that I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”
You met his gaze then, your eyes brimming with unshed tears, but this time they weren’t just born from hurt. There was something else there. Something like hope. “I’m not ready to forgive you yet, Spencer,” you said softly, your voice trembling. “But I’m willing to try. I’m willing to see where this goes. If you really mean it.”
His face softened, the tension easing just a fraction. “I do,” he whispered, his hand still gently holding yours. “I mean it. More than anything.”
And as he pulled you into his arms, you let yourself hold on, just for a moment. You weren’t sure where this would lead, or if you could ever truly forget the pain. But for the first time in a long while, you weren’t alone. And maybe that was enough.
-
It was one of those quiet mornings that felt like a small slice of heaven. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a soft glow through the windows, and the only sound in the apartment was the rhythmic hum of the coffee maker.
The air was still cool from the night before, but the warmth of the morning sun slowly crept in, filling the room with a gentle golden light.
You were sitting at the kitchen table, your bare feet tucked under you, a mug of coffee warming your hands. Your hair was messy from sleep, but you didn’t mind.
You had gotten used to waking up next to Spencer every morning, and the sight of him, still half-asleep, a little rumpled, and incredibly endearing, was one of the small things you’d grown to cherish.
Spencer was at the counter, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he flipped through a pile of paperwork. The clutter of his case files and textbooks was a normal part of your life now, but the way he had rearranged things over the past few months, more neatly than ever before, was a quiet testament to how much he had changed. He wasn’t perfect, but he was working on it. He was trying, and that was all that mattered.
“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice broke the quiet, pulling your attention away from your thoughts.
You looked up from your coffee, meeting his soft brown eyes. He was still wearing his sleep-filled smile, the one that only appeared after a good night’s sleep, when he wasn’t overthinking or buried under a pile of cases.
“I was wondering… would you mind helping me with something later?” His voice was tentative, but there was something else there now, something more confident. He wasn’t afraid to ask for help anymore.
You’d noticed that shift in him over the past few months, the way he wasn’t afraid to lean on you, to let you in when before he would have kept his distance. It had taken time, but now, when he needed you, he knew how to reach for you without hesitation.
“Of course,” you said with a smile, your heart swelling at how far you’d come since that difficult conversation. “What do you need help with?”
Spencer hesitated for just a moment, glancing down at the paperwork. His fingers hovered over the pile, as though unsure how to ask. “I’m working on this case… and I just need to go over the details. I know you’ve got that… special way of seeing things,” he said with a playful grin, using the affectionate nickname you’d earned after countless cases where your instincts had been spot on. “You’re better at spotting the details than I am.”
You raised an eyebrow at him, playfully teasing. “Oh, so now I’m the expert, huh? I thought you were the genius here.”
Spencer’s smile widened, and he shook his head, walking over to the table and taking a seat across from you. He didn’t even try to hide the fondness in his gaze as he looked at you. “You are the expert,” he said softly. “And I’m just the guy who gets to learn from you every day.”
The words lingered between you, warm and comfortable. You reached across the table, brushing your fingers over his hand in a simple, affectionate gesture. A small smile played on your lips as you felt his fingers intertwine with yours, and for the first time, you didn’t feel like you had to hold anything back. There was no fear of losing each other, no worry that the cracks would reopen. Everything—every single piece of you—had found a place next to him, and for once, it felt right.
“I’ll help you,” you said softly, squeezing his hand. “Just like I always do.”
Spencer’s expression softened, his eyes reflecting a quiet sense of gratitude. You knew, deep down, that he wasn’t just thankful for your help with the case. He was thankful for everything—for your patience, for your trust, for the fact that despite all the mistakes and misunderstandings, you were still here. You had come through the storm together, stronger than before, and you could feel it in every touch, in every glance. There was an unspoken understanding between you now. A promise that no matter what came your way, you would face it as a team.
“You know,” Spencer said, his voice low, “I never thought I’d have something like this. Something so... real. So comfortable.”
You laughed softly, the sound light and free, a stark contrast to the uncertainty that had plagued your earlier months together. “I think we’ve finally figured out how to make it work,” you said, your voice steady and full of warmth. “No more pushing each other away. No more running. Just… us.”
Spencer nodded, his gaze softening as his thumb gently traced the back of your hand. “I’m not running anymore,” he whispered, the sincerity in his voice bringing a warmth to your chest. “I’m staying. For good.”
There was no need for more words. You leaned across the table, your lips brushing his in a kiss that was slow and full of meaning. It wasn’t a kiss filled with urgency or desperation, but one of quiet comfort. One of trust and affection. One that said we’re here, and that was enough.
As you pulled away, you saw the same sense of contentment reflected in his eyes, a peacefulness that had taken months to build but was finally here. You didn’t need anything else, because with Spencer, you had everything you’d ever wanted.
The coffee and case files were long forgotten as the two of you sat there, simply enjoying each other’s company. There was no rush to get to the day, no lingering doubt or fear. Just the warmth of his presence beside you, and the certainty that no matter what the future held, you’d face it together.
all notes and reposts are appreciated!! loving you always xx
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The core problem of Campaign 3's god debate is that the only real support offered by the anti-god side is "some people are mad at the gods" and no one -- in-universe or out -- seems to realize that the mere existence of people who dislike the gods isn't sufficient to make "should the gods stay or go?" into a hyper-complex morally grey debate, any more than the mere existence of global warming denialists is sufficient to make the factual reality of climate change into a hyper-complex scientific debate. "People who are mad at the gods exist, therefore the current system is broken somehow" is the mentality of people-pleasing: if someone is mad at you, it proves that you're a bad person who did something to make them mad, and you are now morally obligated to internalize everything they say about you and devote all your energy to appeasing them.
I am, personally, of the opinion that it is vitally important for people in positions of power to maintain a healthy awareness of their own fallibility and cultivate lines of feedback from lower down in the chain the way software developers provide bug report forms; however, the reality I encountered when I accepted a forum moderation position years ago is that, if you're an Authority Figure™ of any stripe, for every person with a good-faith criticism of a poor ruling you made while overtired or an outdated policy that needs to be revised, there are a dozen who shake their fists at you because they want someone to be mad at. And when you look at the actual substance of the complaints being made (nearly all of which display a fundamental refusal to grapple with the scale the gods operate on and how that affects their decision-making) and ask "what, if anything, could/should the gods have done differently?" and "is getting rid of the gods actually a viable solution to this problem?", they're all firmly in that latter category.
To go down the list:
Vecna: If we're treating "people who are mad at the gods" as a Marginalized Group™ whose grievances are Good Points™ and Worth Considering™ simply because they are grievances with The People in Power™, then Vecna is part of said Marginalized Group™, seeing as he holds a massive grudge against the gods who helped banish him beyond the Divine Gate and per the campaign books his ultimate goal is to eliminate the worship of all deities other than himself. One can only imagine how hard he's kicking himself for failing to find out about Predathos before his own ascension.
Ludinus: His parents will still be dead whether he succeeds or fails, and preventing the same thing from happening to others is what the Divine Gate is for. Killing the gods would not only not prevent similar tragedies, it would, at least in the short term, actively make things worse: assuming Tharizdun doesn't just eat everything, how does he expect Lesser Idols like Uk'otoa to react to a glorious new age where there are no gods to keep them in check and millions of newly deity-less clerics are stuck watching people die whom they could have saved if they still had their spells? Moreover, what happens when people discontented with his glorious new era swear vengeance on those they blame for taking their gods from them, as Ludinus swore vengeance on those he blames for his parents' deaths, or start idealizing the lost age of the gods and looking for ways to somehow bring them back, as Ashton does with the Titans? Does the perspective of people who like the gods then become Worth Considering™, if they've gone from being Privileged™ to being a Marginalized Group™ who have been collectively traumatized by the loss of something precious to them?
Aeor: One of the major takeaways from Downfall was that Aeor was extremely decadent, corrupt, stratified, and generally dystopian at its height. Their main reason for wanting the gods dead seems to be not liking the existence of anything more powerful than them, and anyone arguing that the gods are Too Powerful To Exist needs to explain why the tiny cabal of mages at the tippy-top of Aeor's societal pyramid, wielding power that 99.9% of Exandrians will never have access to, were not themselves Too Powerful To Exist, especially given their evident imperialist ambitions.
Dorian: I won't downplay the genuine grievance there, but a. Opal was victimized by one of the Betrayer Gods, and what to do about them is a question that Vespin Chloras and Cassida Previn, for all their hubris, approached with considerably more nuance, and b. per the post linked in the previous bullet point, if your ultimate goal is to prevent all ill-advised deals with powerful entities and the unpleasant consequences thereof, where exactly do you stop?
Tuldus and Hearthdell: Plenty of irreligious people across Exandria are living their best lives unmolested, so the whole "you must be religious OR ELSE" isn't something the gods themselves are demanding in a systemic way, and getting rid of them wouldn't prevent all oppression any more than it would prevent all cataclysms and mass deaths. (It might not even stop the oppression committed by those specific religious people; per 'personality predates ideology', the ones who are in it to bully others and feel righteous about it will simply look for a different excuse to do so if their current one is taken from them.) There's a genuine debate to be had about how much responsibility the gods bear for their followers' actions and one could, more reasonably, accuse them of having become too lax and needing to be more stringent about telling their priests to cut that kind of shit out (though that in turn opens the question of how much they can micromanage their followers' behavior before it becomes genuinely smothering and oppressive), but it runs counter to the "the gods have too much control" narrative the Vanguard is pushing.
Liliana: Every parroted accusation she levies at the Exandria's pantheon is something Predathos and its worshippers are far, FAR more guilty of, but Predathos doesn't present itself as a caring, benevolent entity in the same way the Prime Deities do, and she expects us to believe that it admitting that it's bad somehow makes it good. (There's a Slacktivist quote that I think sums up the underlying logic here: "Once you've decided that the Most Important Thing is to avoid the wolf in sheep's clothing, your safest course of action is to embrace the wolf in wolf's clothing.")
Ashton: Essentially blames the gods for refusing to micromanage reality on their behalf and, in focusing so much on his own pain, hasn't stopped to ask what the world would look like if the gods actually felt obligated to micromanage reality on behalf of everyone who petitioned them that way, not just him personally. My dad is an agnostic and specifically doesn't believe in a god who answers prayer because what's a god to do when there's a baseball game and both teams have fans praying for their victory (or when there's a war and both armies include adherents of a given faith)?
Bor'dor: It's one thing to say that the gods have certain obligations to their followers and quite another to say that that the gods are supposed to keep their followers swaddled in bubble wrap 24/7 and prevent them from experiencing any consequences for their own actions whatsoever, and arguing that the Wildmother should have somehow stopped Bor'dor's family's suicide charge from resulting in their deaths is the latter.
Vox Machina: Continue to hold a grudge against the Matron for taking Vax away and would like to believe her being gone would make him mortal again, but when you stop to think about Vax as a person with his own feelings and opinions about his relationship with the Matron, instead of as a passive object to be fought over, the "what if Predathos eats the Matron?" scenario looks a hell of a lot bleaker. There's also the question of whether or not Predathos would consider Vax himself edible; a mere celestial might be one of those half-crushed potato chip fragments at the bottom of the bag in comparison to a god, but when you've been trapped and starving for thousands of years...
Zathuda: Objects not to being told 'no' but to the existence of forces who could potentially tell him no, which to me reads as an asshole whining about how unfair and oppressive it is when people see his assholery and tell him to cut it the fuck out.
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Secret Underneath Part 3 (Steddie X Plus Size Reader)
A/N: A lot of this came from the rough week I had and desperately needing Daddy <3
Warnings: Warnings: Sugar Daddies Steve and Eddie/ Baby Fem Plus Size Reader, SMUT, toys (triple stimulation ;) ), dirty talk, nothing too rough just passionate. ANGST, reader has a bad day and needs help feeling better, mentions of her ex (brief mentions of him hurting her and being verbally abusive during their relationship; comments on her weight but its brief), boys mention their fathers as well as touching on their own ex.
Word Count: 5367
You were having a terrible fucking day.
One of the other teachers you weren’t fond of danced all over your last nerve as if it was her mission. You forgot your lunch because you had rushed out of your apartment late due to not hearing your alarm because you tossed and turned all night. Your AC broke around midnight and by 2am you were covered in sweat. Every time you called your landlord, you were either placed on hold or the line disconnected.
All you wanted to do when you got home was curl up in bed but as soon as you walked through the door you were immediately met with blistering heat.
Usually you could handle all this, all be it with a bit more snark than normal but you didn’t want to. All of your energy was drained and the only thing your mind could muster was the need to throw things against the wall like a toddler.
Daddy.
You debated on calling them. So far the guys had just given you money willingly after every meeting but you had yet to ask them for anything. Oddly with them, you didn’t want them to feel used. Maybe because of what they told you about previous relationships doing just that or maybe it was because you genuinely enjoyed their company.
Finally giving in to your brain, you reached for your phone and dialed the number they give you.
“Hey, honey.”, Steve practically sings as his voice floats through. “How was your day? I was just about to call you.”
���D-D-Daddy…”, you cry, unable to stop the tears as they flow.
“What’s wrong, baby?”, he asked, his tone changing to that authoritative one that made you feel safe. You told him what happened and how your day had progressively got worse. You could hear him moving around on the other line before the sound of a ding from an elevator caught your attention.
“Are y-you at work? Fuck, I’m so sorry—”
“No, hey, don’t be sorry. I was going to leave early anyway. I just got ahold of Eddie and he’s going to meet me at your place. Do you feel comfortable sending us your address?” His heart breaks as he listens to you cry harder, his protective, dominate side now fully in the driver’s seat. “Baby girl, everything’s ok. I promise we’re going to get everything taken care of.”
After texting him your address, you wait by the open window as you fan your face and as soon as you hear the knock you run to let them in. The rockstar doesn’t even hesitate as he takes you in his arms.
“Jesus, sweetheart, you are covered in sweat. Are you okay?” Your gaze kept shifting between him and the mogul as his fingers rapidly moved against the screen on his phone. “Hey, look at me, Y/N. How are you feeling? You’re not dizzy or dehydrated right?”
“No, Daddy. I’m sorry if I bothered you both. I didn’t know who else to call and I’m so exhausted—”
“Baby. Baby, breathe. It’s ok. Don’t ever be afraid to call us or ask for help, alright?”
Someone new knocks on your door, startling you but not them as Steve heads that way.
“Ed, why don’t you get a bath going for her? Nothing too hot though.”
“Yes, sir.”, he salutes making you smile. “Boy talkin’ to me like he’s my Daddy. Come on, pretty girl, let’s let Stevie do his thing.”
***
In the middle of your bath, the AC abruptly clicked on and you sighed in relief. By the time Eddie had you in a long, oversized shirt and brushing your hair, you were completely at ease.
“Ok, honey, I hired some of the best people to come fix your unit so it won’t break again for a long while. I also called your landlord and threatened to sue him into oblivion…so your next couple of months are free.”, Steve grins as a he takes a seat on the edge of the bed in front of you. “At some point, doesn’t have to be now or even this month, I would like to talk with you about getting you a new place. You shouldn’t have to argue before someone fucking comes to fix your necessities. I mean YOU pay THEM—”
“Steven, you’re doing that thing again.”, the metalhead chuckles as he places the brush on your nightstand.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Y/N. I just hate the idea of you struggling. You deserve all the good things.”
“Speaking of good things, what would you like to eat, babe? Harrington here said you had forgotten your lunch today. We want to make sure you’re fed and full.”
Your head hung as you silently stared into the mattress.
“Y/N, sweetie.”, Steve coos as he lifts your chin. “It’s ok that you called. You weren’t bothering us and we’re happy to help.”
“I know you said people in the past used you for your money. I don’t want you to think that’s all I want. I DO like you.”
Eddie lightly tugs your hair, tilting your head back so he could kiss your lips.
“We like you to.”
“This apartment really isn’t that bad, you know.”
“Baby, I just gave you a bath in that closet you call a bathroom and that’s coming from a man who grew up in a trailer.”
“I didn’t know that.”
As you lean back into his bare chest, a pleasant sigh leaves his lips and you rest your forehead on his cheek.
“I don’t talk about that side of my life. I mean of course people find out but…”
“We grew up in a small town so people gossip.”
“That’s how you two met? Growing up?”
Both men grow silent and you promptly hang your head before crawling out of Eddie’s embrace to head for the kitchen. They follow and as soon as they enter the room, you throw a menu onto the counter.
“I like their pizza and beer special. Don’t worry, Steve, we can get you like a Voss water or something.”, you grin as he tilts his head and you stick out your tongue.
“I feel challenged. Why do you think I can’t keep up with you and rockstar here?”
“I think you just answered your own question.”, Eddie joked as he leaned over the counter to look over the food options with you.
***
“Ok…3, 2, 1, GO!”
As soon as the metalhead gives the go ahead, you and Steve puncture the beer can with a knife and hastily chug back it’s contents. You were the first to finish, throwing your hands in the air as the other man trails behind.
“Jesus, I’m rusty.”
“Yeah, sure pretty boy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”, you sass as you lean forward to grab another slice of pizza.
“So this is like your go to stress reliever? Sitting on the floor eating cheap pizza and beer while listening to crap music?”
“First off, rude. My music isn’t crap. Secondly, yeah. During the colder months I’ll put up Christmas lights and just lay here watching the snow fall. I love this city. It’s so beautiful.”
“Were you born here?”
“No, I’m from the south. I moved here because my boyfriend got a job and I wanted to be near him. Obviously, that didn’t end well.”, you chuckle as you take a sip of your drink.
“The asshole that hurt you?”, Eddie growls, his own protective nature slowly creeping in when you nod. “Was he always like that?”
“Verbally he could be a dick but he never got physical like that before. After we moved here it just got progressively worse. He’d say things under his breath or give me back handed compliments. Fucker could dish it out but never take it.
‘You know for how much weight you’ve gained, that dress actually looks pretty good on you.’
‘Aw, gee, thanks. You know, not many men can pull of jeans that tight but with a penis as small as yours I guess you don’t have to worry.’”
Both men laughed making you smile before it tapers off and they glance towards each other.
“My father was a fucker to. He got in trouble with the law a lot and ended up in prison back home in Indiana. I grew up with my uncle in that trailer I mentioned.”
“What about your mom?”
Eddie sighed as he propped himself up on his elbow.
“She died when I was really little. She, um, she was a good woman.”
Nodding, you decide not to pry further as you lean back against Steve’s stomach who was also on his side on his elbow.
“MY dad could verbally be a dick like your ex. He made comments like that all the time especially when I was in high school. I was surprised he let me take over his company. My mother isn’t a bad person, she just…I don’t know…her priorities are all out of whack.”
“I’m so sorry you guys experienced that. I actually get along with my parents and I hate being so far away from them.”
“Why didn’t you move back after you two broke up?”, the metalhead asked.
“My job. I love teaching here and I love those kids. They are all so smart and sassy, I love it.”, you giggle.
Your eyes shift towards the window as you pleasantly exhale, closing your eyes as Steve’s fingers absently began playing with your hair.
“When did you two decide to do this whole Daddy/Baby thing?”
“We’ve always enjoyed everything that comes along with being a Daddy and not just sexually. Perfect example, seeing your face light up when I told you I took care of everything with the apartment. I like seeing you happy.”
“I mean the same applies in bed to.”, Eddie chuckles. “We like seeing you unravel and tremble because of us. Why did you decide to do this?”
“I’ve always preferred more dominate men who could take control. I didn’t realize they would be so hard to find.”, you smile. “Maybe I was looking in the wrong age bracket. I needed two OLD MEN.”, you tease as the rockstar bites his lip across from you to stifle a laugh. “I’ve never cared about the money aspect that comes along with it.”
As they nod, you take both men in as they continue to relax. Because of the heat Eddie had removed his shirt so you could see how low his jeans really were as his blue boxers peaked out above the waistband. His hair was perfectly fluffed out, just barely resting on the top part of his smooth back. Any time you tried to run your fingers through it, he always made a joke about how tangled it was but you didn’t care especially when his eyes would close and he would hum lightly in pleasure when you did.
Steve had showed up in his suit and you had yet to see him in anything else but at least in this moment he seemed relaxed. The first time you were with them, he appeared agitated which Eddie had explained it was because the mogul didn’t want you to feel used after your ordeal. The couple of times after, he constantly displayed an air of confidence which wasn’t abnormal with Daddies you met but in this moment when he put that wall down…he was adorable. Even his hair relaxed as the product began to fade, allowing it to move every which way.
“You both are handsome.”
They had been in the middle of conversation you didn’t realize they were having until you blurted your statement making them pause as they turned to grin your way.
“Thank you.”, Eddie laughed, air hissing through his teeth. “I think it’s time to take away the booze, Stevie.”
“Pfft I’m not that drunk.”, you giggle. “Trust me, you’ll know when I am. I can be mean.” Both men chuckle and make mocking facial expressions as you playfully glare. “I know you don’t want to tell me what happened with your last Baby but… she’s a fucking idiot for not keeping you two around.”
You don’t see but their features falter for a moment before Steve finally collects himself.
“You’re technically our first Baby.” Your eyes widen in shock and amusement as he nods before popping open another can of beer. “I know. Plot twist, huh?”
“Obviously we talked to other ones on that site but you were the only one that intrigued us and the first we’ve ever met with. Like Harrington said, we like the aspects of being a Daddy which includes taking care of the girl we care about. Individually and together…it just got exhausting after a while jumping from one date to the next trying to figure out their motives. At least this way…there’s some order to it. Another reason we like you is because you ARE up front.”
“So… your last girlfriend must have really hurt you then…if you decided to give up that scene to this.” They glance your way at your comment as a sad sounding sigh escapes you and you pull your knees under your chin. “I’m sorry.”
“Y/N, can we ask for one more favor?”, Steve asks in a serious tone that makes you face him.
“Yeah, Daddy, of course.”
“Have you googled us yet? Or did any kind of snooping?” Both men exhale in relief when you say no. “You wouldn’t lie to us right, baby girl?”
“No, I wouldn’t lie. I wanted to but you wanted privacy. I respect that. Plus, I’d rather you tell me things than for me to read it.”
“Good…good girl.” Eddie praises as you blush. “Can we keep it that way?”
“Yes, Daddy, I promise.”
“What’s going on over there, pretty girl? Why are you all shy all of the sudden?”, he teases eliciting a small squeal as you duck your head into your arms.
“I’m just glad you two came over. I really needed this.”
“Yeah, honey? Is there anything else we can do for you?”
“Actually…”, you sing. “I got a new toy the other day. Would you like to see it?” After they nod, both men watch you rise to your feet and excitedly run towards your bedroom. When you return, you hastily open the box it came in and produce a pink vibrator for them to see. “I figured since I have two Daddies now I can use this if you both are away. This part is like the normal vibrators you see everywhere but this end here goes into my behind and this little part up here plays with my clit.”
“Have you tried it out yet?”
“No, Daddy.”, you answer Eddie’s question shaking your head.
“Well, why don’t you, baby? Give it whirl and tell us how it feels.”, Steve instructs in a husky tone that has you biting your bottom lip.
Tossing aside your comfy clothes, you sit naked before them as your eyes suddenly fleet between each man.
“May I lean against one of you?”
You can’t help but laugh when both men turn to each other and without any hesitation or prior conversation begin to play rock, paper, scissors. The metalhead wins, throwing his hands victoriously in the air as his friend rolls his eyes before lifting his body and crawling towards you to place himself behind you. Melting into his touch, you lean your head back onto his shoulder and kiss his cheek as he tilts down to kiss your neck.
His beautiful large hands softly run up the back of your thighs and hooks them behind your knees making you giggle like a little kid as he pries your legs open. They watch with eager eyes as you squeeze a small amount of lube into your palm and your breath hitches slightly as you lather it between your cheeks.
Eddie army crawls forward till he’s a few inches in front of your cunt, sighing as he lays his head on his forearm.
“Fuck, you smell so good.”
Smirking, you glance down to make sure the toy is positioned properly before focusing as you insert all the pieces in their respective places. Your body tenses a bit as you lean your head back and close your eyes.
“Everything ok, honey?”, Steve whispers.
“Y-Yeah. Fuck… just feels a bit…different.”
“For something about the size of a regular vibrator, it really blocks my view.”, the rockstar whines making you pout. “No, shit, hey. I didn’t mean that as a bad thing.” Quickly pushing up onto his palms, his fingers grip your chin, and tilt you so he can kiss your lips. “As long as I can see your face and hear those pretty sounds coming out of your mouth that’s all I care about.”
As he starts to pull away from you to lay back down, your free hand shoots out to grab his shoulder.
“Wait…Can you…stay this close to me to. Please, Daddy.”
A shaky breath escapes Eddie at your needy tone before hastily collecting himself and clearing his throat as he tilts back to sit his heels.
“Yeah, baby, yeah. Of course, I can do that for you.”
After pressing the little button, the toy comes to life and your groan instantly hits their ears.
“Jesus.”
“How does it feel, pretty girl?”
You barely register Steve’s question as your body lights up with every kind of sensation, your mouth falling open as a soft uh falls through.
“He asked you something, sweetheart.”
“F-Feels…feels…good.”
“Hey. Can you open your eyes and look at me?”, Eddie asks as the other man’s lips gently peck between your shoulder and neck. “Y/N, open your eyes.”
At his firmer tone you do what he commands, mewling loudly when you notice his hand had slid down his pants so he could ease the ache of his cock pressing almost painfully against the denim.
“Good, good girl. Don’t…fuck, you’re so fucking sexy…don’t take them off me.”
Steve’s mouth grazed your ear and his low, husky whispers had you trembling against him.
“There you go, baby girl. Make yourself cum. You deserve it after the long day you had. After you make yourself cum, your Daddies are going to take care of you, honey. We’ll fuck you till that little brain goes quiet. Fuck, I can hear how wet you are. Makes me so fucking hard.”
Your eyes rolled back as the coil snapped and you pushed back against him as you came.
“No, hey, no, baby. Don’t run from it.”, Eddie lightly scolded as he grabbed the end of the toy and continued pumping inside of you at a rigorous pace.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Daddy, please.”, you begged as you pushed at his hand.
After delicately removing the toy, he tossed it out of the way, collecting you in his arms, and positioning you so you were straddling his waist.
“You have to take off your pants.”, you breathily giggle when you feel the cold metal of the button on his jeans against your puffy lips. The rockstar’s eyelids flutter as he grunts in frustration and his arm grips your body to him as he uses his free hand to sloppily push them down his thighs. “Baby, you can let me go to take them off. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Damn right you’re not. You’re ours, princess. Fuck.” As you clung to his neck hovering over his lips, his eyes remained on your face as you slowly sunk down onto his cock. “Can you say that for me? Tell me who you belong to?”
“Mmm—I belong to Daddy. Oh my…so deep.”
“I know, baby, I know. There you go, that’s it. Just ride my dick just like that.”
His palms held the meat of your behind as he guided your movements while you bounced on top of him. Eddie’s gaze never faltered as he continued to take in every little movement that twitched along your features. Every time your bodies connected; your eyebrows scrunched in pleasure. When his length would roughly hit that sensitive spot inside you; your mouth fell open as you panted against his lips.
His favorite part was when either of you moved at a faster pace, you pulled him as close to you as you could. He loved feeling your needy hands pushing against his back to bring him to your chest or when your head fell against his shoulder as your fingers ran through his tangled mess of hair.
If he could be this close to you all the time he would.
“Fuck, Y/N.”, he practically growled as he lifted you up and placed you on your back underneath him. His lips roughly kissed yours as he rolled his lower half into your own. “You feel so fucking good. I need you to cum, pretty girl. Please.”
Your eyes opened at the word as his closed in focus, that little crease in his forehead as he thrust at a quicker pace had you swooning as you reached up to cup his cheek. A small smirk flickered across his mouth as he did the same; his thumb absently caressing your cheek.
“Just like that, Daddy. I’m gonna cum. W-Will you cum with me?”
After nodding, the sound of skin hitting skin filled the room till it was replaced with your whimpers and his grunts as the coil snapped and you both came.
Steve had been patiently waiting as he watched you both together, stroking his cock as your beautiful moans filled his ears. He desperately needed you but he knew how to wait; you’d be his soon enough.
After removing all of his clothes, he tossed them to the side, wanting to feel every part of your skin against him this time. As Eddie backed away, the mogul beamed down at you as he took his place.
“Are you ok, honey?”
He chuckled softly at your lopsided grin as you reached up for him to bring his lips to yours.
“Yeah, I’m ok. I want you.”
“I like hearing you say that. Can you say it again?”
“I want you, Daddy. I need you.”
Falling onto his side next to you, he guided you to do the same with your chest against his and one of his arms under your head.
“I just want to be really close to you, Y/N.”, he murmured as his large palm slid down your spine, over your ass, and along your thigh as he lifted it over his hip. Steve only released you long enough to guide his cock inside of you before placing it against your back near the base of your neck. “Fuck, baby, still so wet. Did Daddy make you feel good?”
“So good—mmm—I’ve never…”
“Never what? Tell me.”, he instructions as he continues doing little but deep thrusts into your core.
“No one’s ever fucked me like this…at this angle…”
He can’t help but lightly laugh making you sigh as you smile and lean your forehead onto his.
“We told you, baby girl. You’re with men now. We know how to take care of a beautiful woman like you.”
As he finds a steady, firm rhythm, you feel like you’re going to melt into a million tiny pieces as he stretched you open. Steve’s palm continued to roam your skin as his other remains firmly positioned behind your head, keeping your face as close to his as possible feeling your pussy clench every time he moans into your mouth.
“That’s it—fuck—just hold on to me, Y/N. Don’t let go.”
“Never.”
You didn’t even realize you said it but they both heard as it fell from your lips. Feeling his pace falter, he pounds into you hard and fast trying to get you over the edge before he cums. Tears streak your face as you tremble against him and while your cunt quivers around his cock he warms your insides as he spills inside of you.
“Fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck…”, Steve pants as he lifts your head and pushes back the hair sticking to your face. “Are you alright?”
A wide toothy smile greets him as you tilt back and giggle.
“Yeah, baby. That was perfect.”
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you into a quick shower.”
“Nooooooo, Daddy.”, you whine making Eddie laugh as he jumps to his feet in only his boxers.
“Come on, ya big baby.”
He starts to tug on your arm like he’ll drag you if he has to causing your smile to grow as you rise to your feet and let him lead you to your bathroom. After putting on his own boxers, Steve trailed behind taking in the things around him.
Even though the majority of people had music on their phones, you had a small shelf filled with records and a record player. Along your walls were pictures of you with different people he assumed to be your family and friends. As he entered your bedroom, there was a bookshelf filled with reading material and he couldn’t help but smile when he notices a book hanging out that pertained to his business.
You were trying to learn and understand; he appreciated that.
What he didn’t like was when he placed the book back down a picture that was nestled in the back binding tumbled out.
It was you with another man’s arm wrapped around your shoulders.
Steve heard your laugh as you and his friend exited the bathroom and he held it up in your direction.
“Where did you get that?”, you asked as your face fell.
“It fell out of this book here.”
Your eyes closed as you sighed, taking the book from his hand and placing it on your dresser.
“I didn’t know it was in there.”, you mumbled.
“So you could hide it?”, Eddie asked with a tone filled of accusation. “Who the fuck is this?”
You try to control your anger as you watch the rockstar snatch it from the mogul’s hand as the other man stares at you waiting for an answer.
“My ex.”
“Yeah, that’s going to require some more explaining.”
“He let me borrow the book. Look, it’s not what you think! I asked a friend to ask him for it. I didn’t even think the asshole would put his fucking picture in there. I don’t even know why he’d do that.”
“To manipulate you and make you miss him.”, Steve growled. “Why are you taking anything from him at all?”
“Can we talk about this later, please? I’m so tired.”
“No, we can’t, Y/N. This is the second time this man is popping up suddenly and after what happened the first time I don’t like it.”
“What part? The part where I still went on a date with him or the part where he assaulted me?”
“Does it matter?!”, Eddie yelled. “Both were fucking awful. Nobody should be putting their hands on you and you are ours. We’ve made that very fucking clear!”
“And it’s crystal clear to me, Eddie. I don’t want to have anything to do with him!”, you scream, grabbing the image and tearing it up. “I try to avoid him as much I can but it’s hard! Fuck, this day sucks so much.”
“Why is it hard, Y/N?”
Folding your arms, you feel your heart start to break as you prepare for the worst.
“Because we work together! That’s how we met. We went to school together back home and when he got a job here in New York I followed him. He suggested I apply to and to my surprise I was hired to!” You shrug as you wipe the tears that began to fall. “I thought we were going to be together forever. I was a fucking idiot.”
Taking a seat on your bed, your head hangs but after a few seconds the mattress dips on either side of you as Eddie pushes your hair behind your ear so he can see your face.
“Usually, he just ignores me until he wants something…like last time… Since I started seeing you, now I ignore him and according to idle gossip it bothers him.”, you explain as you roll your eyes at the end.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”, Steve inquires.
“Why don’t you about your last girl?”, you snap.
As he exhales in frustration, Eddie rises angerly off the bed and stomps into your living before coming back with his phone in his hand. Falling to his knees in front of you, he flashes you the screen but when you try to take it from him he pulls it back.
“Read.”
“Gina Frost, daughter of 90s film star, suing guitarist and business tycoon for palimony.”
Your gaze shifts up to meet his with confusion.
“H-How have I never…”
“Our lawyer managed to put a lock on our information and we don’t actually go into a court or anything. Not yet anyway…”, he sighs.
“Can she…I mean…palimony is for a couple not a—”
“Yeah we know.”, Steve cuts you off a bit harshly. “Add that twist into the knife she stabbed into our backs.”
“I’m so sorry. I really am… I didn’t tell you about my ex because I felt stupid and I thought…maybe you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore if I told you. I swear, Steve, Eddie, I don’t have feelings for him. I like you two. I mean I know this is just a…I don’t know…a thing right now but I do enjoy talking to you. I feel safe with you and even though we can’t put a specific label on it I at least consider you my friends. You know…my old man friends that fuck me from time to time.”
They both laugh at your joke causing you to smile as you relish the sound.
“We felt the same.”, Eddie responds first, guiding you against your pillows as he follows and climbs in beside you. “She took advantage of us and it took us forever to even catch on. We like you to...”
“Very much.”, Steve added as he curled up beside you as well. “We’re not that old, ya brat.”
You giggle as they pull you closer to their sides.
“Are you safe? From him, I mean?”
“Yeah, he won’t do anything while we’re at work and if he did I would knock him out. That’s what happened last time. He yanked on my blouse and I turned around to punch him. He told people in the school he got in a bar fight defending a girl.”
“Jesus Christ. What a dick.”, the rockstar chuckles.
“Thank you both for coming over. I really need this…needed you.”
That makes them softly smile as you slowly begin to drift off to sleep. Eddie’s eyes scan his friend’s demeanor as he absently plays with your hair.
“Steve Harrington, whatever you’re thinking about doing, you can’t.”
“I don’t like him being in the same building with her. What if he hurts her again?”
“She said he won’t. Ah, ah.”, he tuts as the mogul starts to argue. “Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like it either but… that’s not part of our deal. We have to trust her. Unless she asks us to deal with him, we shouldn’t bringing that kind of attention our way.”
“Eddie, I don’t care about that kind of attention. Fuck Gina and fucking popular opinion.”, he growls. “What if…what if we can’t get to her or what if he does something worse… She said he changed after they moved. It just makes me nervous especially with us going out of town soon. I want to know she’s ok.”
“She’s a strong girl and if she needs anything she’ll tell us. We can’t control her like that. We aren’t those kind of men… we aren’t our dads.”
Steve glances his way, exhaling as he reaches over to pat his best friend’s arm.
“You’re a good dude, Munson.”
“Aw.”, Eddie coos. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself, Harrington.”
#################
@aol19 @paradisepoisons @paleidiot @dashingdeb16
@lilaclazer @joannamuns9n @thwippyparker @emotionaldreamer
@aactuaaltraash
#steddie x reader#steddie fluff#steddie smut#steddie fanfiction#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie fanfic#eddie stranger things#steve fanfic#steve smut#steve stranger things#joe keery#joseph quinn#stranger things#fan fiction#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steve fluff#dom!steve harrington#dom!eddie#sub reader#steddie x plussizereader#steve x plus size reader#eddie x plus size reader#plus size reader#daddy steve harrington#sugar daddy steve
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so.. rockstar ex gf reader x 90s! dave at an award show, coincidentally with the same seating arrangement and their bands nominated in the same category, one of them won and took the other to the bathroom to brag abt the award, iykwim. tytyty ilysm hbvsauiowduh🙏
A/n: HELP MY COMPUTER DIED AND I ALMOST LOST THIS I WAS LITERALLY ON THE LAST LINE I WAS GOING TO KILL SOMEONE anyway I hope you enjoy this <3
Warnings: Smut, angst, semipublic sex, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!
Part 2
All around you were people whispering about your current situation. Someone somewhere decided to sit your band next to Megadeth, your ex's band.
You sat across from him, trying to keep things civil with space but Dave kept staring at you, just waiting for something to happen, even going as far as to toss a few peas at you 'accidentally'.
Still, you tried to ignore him. Your bands were nominated for the same award and you were confident that, if you didn't win, you'd surpass Megadeth.
Your relationship had been no secret and your distaste for each other was well known, clearly whoever put you here knew what they were doing. Everyone was talking about it, any time you walked past someone your name was the last thing out of their mouth, their gaze always led to you.
Part of you hated it more than anything, it felt high schoolish, the whole of it. You were an adult, the people around you were supposed to be adults, how did it lead to this?
The reason was people speculating about the end of your relationship. You had been so happy together for almost two years, people were expecting a wedding, but then it was over and a fire reared its head in the wake.
You wish you knew what to tell people other than to respect your privacy.
Really, Dave came home in a better mood than usual, it was strange but welcomed. He got you your favourite flowers, snacks, the works and he was clinging to you, showering you with words of affection up until you were laying in bed.
You were curled up at his side, head on his chest and trying to fall asleep when your world came crumbling around you.
"I don't think I can love you anymore." He said with virtually no emotion, pain, sadness. Nothing.
The night ended with things being thrown, more tears than you thought you had in you and your throat hurt with how much you were screaming. All you wanted was answers but he just wouldn't give you any.
You packed your things the next day while he slept somewhere else, where you didn't know and didn't care. You were gone by the time he got back and neither of you contacted the other afterwards. Dave started his own band to get back at Metallica and you were determined to do the same, to add salt to the wound.
Until now, neither of you had a reason to see each other and you were more than happy with that, he'd given you everything and for what?
You sat back at your table right when they were about to announce who won the award. You leaned your head in your hand, swirling your drink in its glass as you waited for a name to be called.
You didn't even care anymore, you were tired of the gossip, of the rumors that you cheated on him, that this and this happened, that it was all just a publicity stunt because yes, of course, you and your love for a man who couldn't be bothered to do the same was entirely up for debate how could you be so fucking stupid?
"I know we've all been waiting for this one, the once happy couple sure is cheery, huh?" You glanced up to the announcer, the big screens showing your table.
You looked miserable. You felt even worse. Everyone around you did their best to be presentable but you were ready to flip off the camera crew.
You noticed another unhappy face at the table, Dave. He would still glance at you occasionally but he was glaring daggers at your bandmates beside you, wondering how they could be so oblivious to your sunken mood.
"Anyone know what happened?" The announcer asked, a big smile on his face. A few small laughs sounded throughout the place as tears welled in your eyes.
You wanted to run and hide but you knew you couldn't while they called out your award. So you sat there silently, waiting to hear if all your efforts were worthless. "Well, guess it's time to rip the band-aid off and let the wound bleed." How thoughtful, you thought. "And the winner is!" A soundtrack of a drumroll played even though their are more than enough capable drummers here, something you'd always wondered about. "Megadeth!"
Your ears were ringing. All the cheering, the men at your table standing and excitedly reaching for one another at the award. It felt as though you were being stabbed by everyone's eyes.
You felt a hand on your back. "Are you okay?" Your bandmates voice was muffled like it was behind a wall of foam. You nodded and excused yourself, keeping your head held high as more tears formed in your eyes, just trying to make it to the bathroom.
There was no one else there and you just stared at yourself in the mirror taking deep breaths until you calmed down but the tears just rolled down your cheeks.
The door opened, you expected to look over and see your bandmate but it was Dave. He had a concerned look on his face, those stupid glasses you wanted to rip off of his stupid face and crush them. He'd just go buy another pair but you wanted to.
"Are you okay?" He asked. You carefully wiped your eyes, trying not to ruin your makeup and further.
"Why do you care?" You muttered, keeping your voice low, not trusting it to stay stable.
"Because I care about you." You scoffed at that.
"Oh, yeah, sure you do, you cared so much about me yet you couldn't even be bothered to love me." He stared at you a moment before taking a step closer to you.
"I never said I didn't love you." You opened your mouth to protest but his arms were around you and he spoke up again before you could get anything out. "I said I didn't think I could love you anymore."
You rolled your eyes at him before wiping them again. "What a fucking difference that made." He sighed and leaned down, resting his chin on your shoulder just as he used to, the sight tugging at your heart.
"I love you. I loved you then, I love you now, I never stopped loving you and I never will." More tears came to your eyes and you couldn't blink them away.
"Shut up." You said through gritted teeth.
"I didn't want to, alright?" His voice was deep and soft in your ear, honey dipped silk wrapping around your mind. "My manager made me, said it would be good to get the band out there."
"You chose to break up with me... for fame?" You mustered, not wanting it to be true.
"If I didn't they would have dropped us from the label."
"So you didn't choose me?"
"You're not getting it-"
"I get it perfectly!" You yelled, spinning around and pushing him off of you. "You were already a big band, it would've been stupid to drop you and even if they did someone would've been dying to pick you up." He stared at you, taking in your words knowing you were right. "You didn't love me."
"You can't say that." He said, gaze falling to the ground.
"You treated me like Metallica!" Tears dripped from your jaw to the tiled floor as you glared at him. His eyes shot open. "You were done and you dropped me for what? Publicity?" He didn't say anything.
A long moment passed, neither of you saying anything.
Dave took a step closer to you, then another until he was inches from you. He wrapped his arms around you and closed the gap, his lips crashing against yours.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. You'd missed him for so long, so many sleepless nights with your hand between your thighs, a random man you'd close your eyes and pretend was Dave but it was never the same.
He pushed you back until you hit the counter. He lifted you onto it and stood between your legs, quickly undoing his pants and letting his half hard cock hit your already wet panties. You let out a slight gasp into the kiss and Dave groaned as he stroked himself.
He didn't bother taking them off of you and just pushed them aside as he pushed into you. He pulled away from the kiss, letting your see just how his eyes closed, how his mouth opened and soft breaths left him.
"Fuck, I missed this." He groaned. His eyes opened and he brought his focus back to you, your eyes as they swirled with lust and hatred, both directed at him. "You are so beautiful, you know that?" You bit your lip, looking down his clothed body until you landed on where the both of you connected.
He took your chin in his fingers and tilted your head up to look at him. "Do you know that?" You nodded. "Tell me."
"I know." You muttered.
"You know what?"
You inhaled deeply. "I know I'm beautiful." He gave a nod of approval.
"And this award means nothing, you know that too, don't you?"
"Yes, I know." He gave another nod.
"You know I love you, right?" You paused. He stared at you expectantly, eyes flickering all over your face, admiring your features. "You'll know when we're done." He kissed your forehead and pulled his hips back before snapping them into yours.
Your eyes shut tight and your lips parted in a moan, you'd waited far too long to feel him like this again, how he stretched you out and dragged against your gummy walls. More moans ripped from you as he set a fast pace, Dave's hands roaming your body and lips kissing up and down your neck, leaving small marks.
His hand came down and he rubbed your clit with his thumb, giving it some well needed attention after months of only you noticing it. Fuck, you loved the way he made you feel, all light headed and your body hot with desire.
A familiar knot formed in your gut, burning a passionate fire that resonated throughout your body. Your voice echoed off the walls while Dave's grunts and groans were save specially for your ears. You weren't concerned with someone walking in on you, let them see, let them hear how good he made you feel and see the love in his eyes as he stared at you in awe.
"Hah- Fuck, Dave, m'close." You mumbled, leaning back on your hands and letting him do the work, it's the least he could do and he was more than happy to do it.
He didn't say anything and kept his pace, his thumb still pleasuring you perfectly. Your chest was rising and falling, breathing laboured and your head rolling back as you felt the strings slipping and finally snapping, loud moans leaving you of cursing and repeated 'Dave' over and over.
He let you ride out your high on him but pulled out and got himself situated again. "Why-why'd you stop..?" You asked, breathing heavy and your eyes lidded.
"Well, I figured if I was gonna show you I love you I didn't need to worry about myself, right?" He said simply as he helped you dust yourself off, so to speak, and off the counter. "I can worry about that later, can't I?" He asked, wrapping his arms around you once more.
You thought about it for a moment as you made your way to the door, Dave still clinging to you. He held you tighter, not letting you leave. "You know I love you, don't you?"
You bit your lip, remembering everything that happened before the breakup. "I know you love me." You said, thinking about how abruptly it all ended.
"And?" He asked.
You looked back at him over your shoulder. "And?"
"Verdicts still out?" You crossed your arms over your chest.
"It'll take more than a fuck in some bathroom for me to consider that." You mumbled and left the bathroom, Dave still following close behind.
#megadeth angst#megadeth smut#megadeth x reader#megadeth imagines#megadeth fanfiction#megadeth#80s thrash#dave mustaine x reader#dave mustaine smut#dave mustaine imagines#dave mustaine fanfiction#dave mustaine#dave mustaine fluff
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Hi, I was re-reading the AEIWAM tag and was wondering how exactly Aizen manages to kill Genkai? She seems one of the most put-together Kenpachi's and Aizen is well Aizen? Did he do it himself or were the curse nails involved?
Kenpachi Genkai has a Lieutenant named Gosuke Kiganjo.
She's fond of Gosuke. He's a quick-witted man with a delightfully jaded opinion of humanity, in contrast to young wife Kakiyo, who has such a resolute sense of Justice she can sometimes make the elderly captain almost believe in the inherent goodness of humanity again. They make a splendid couple, her willingness to do the hard work of improving lives pairs well with his pragmatism and sense of efficiency.
Genkai enjoys their company- it's a terrible thing to be Old, but worse to be Old and Lonely, so she allows them to have her over. She and Kakiyo debate the practicality of the young woman's latest scheme to improve life in the Rukongai while Gosuke cooks. Genkai is sure Yamamoto's decision to transfer Kakiyo as a seated officer in the 4th to lieutenant of the 5th Division under Captain Hirako is not just balancing Shinji's tendency to procrastinate on his work and take inadvisable shortcuts. Yamamoto plans to have her run the 5th someday, and Genkai agrees with the choice.
Oftentimes Kakiyo and Gosuke's friend Sosuke Aizen is there too. He's an agreeable young man, if somewhat forgettable. He has a good memory though, and generous- he always brings fresh produce for Gosuke to make dinner with, and always remembers Genkai's fondness for Garlic Greens.
(continued under the cut)
Gosuke missed his calling as a housewife, Genkai thinks, with no small appreciation of the work that goes into running a house. But he is a splendid cook, and she enjoys many dinners with the couple and their friends.
But she is old. She feels it in her heart- not emotionally, she's not sentimental, but she feels it in the way her heart skips and thuds and the sharp pains in her chest. "Cardiac Arrhythmia" Unohana says. Her heart is failing, falling out of sync, and someday, she'll have a massive heart attack if she's not killed in the traditional way Kenpachis are.
Unohana offers her treatment- Foxglove, deadly to eat a leaf, but diluted into Digitoxin pills, it steadies her heart a bit. She takes the pills with some reluctance- when she remembers to. The duties of a captain are many and more complex than ever, and again, she allows Gosuke to do her a favor- He remembers her medication schedule, and puts the pills next to every meal he cooks for her- almost all of them these days.
...But eventually, the inevitable happens, and three months after her diagnosis, Ninth Kenpachi Genkai dies of a massive heart attack in her sleep after dinner at Gosuke and Kakiyo's home.
When Retsu Unohana does her autopsy of Genkai, something seems amiss- the damage to Genkai's heart is much more advanced than Unohana had expected from her exam less than twelve weeks ago. She should have known- Genkai wouldn't splint broken bones half the time, preferring to rely on her body to heal, and underestimating what she was borrowing from the future.
Unohana rules her Cause Of Death as "Heart Failure", and can only assume that Genkai had not benefited from what little of the Digitoxin she managed to take.
---
A week later, Kiganjo is promoted to Captain of the 11th, and according with tradition, forgoes his given name to assume the Title and mantle of the office.
Now-Kenpachi Kiganjo is somewhat overwhelmed by his new duties, as well as wracked with grief. He cannot bear to clean out his beloved Captain's quarters. Kakiyo grieves differently- the physical work and care she can give to the former captain's belongings will ease the emotional pain, so she offers to clean out the captain's quarters for him.
She is still friends with her colleagues in the fourth, especially Unohana, and as a Lieutenant she's entitled to see the results of the Autopsy. Its puzzling, Unohana's statement that she must not have taken her medication- she watched Gos- her husband put her pills on the tray of every meal he cooked for her in the last twelve weeks. Was she just throwing them away?
It's even more confusing when the clean-out fails to turn up a single pill. She should have found some in the trash or swept under the furniture, right? Maybe it had all been taken out.
That night, she's home alone. Go- her husband is working late while he catches up on the job. She opens the pantry and glares at it- part of the reason she married him was that he was such a good cook. She never got the hang of it, that was always Kaname's chore growing up. Ugh. It's been a long and emotional day and she's got a headache-
She opens the medicine cabinet in search of the aspirin, and is confronted with the Perscription Bottle of Digitoxin. That must be where he was storing it while he cooked for Genkai. Best remove it before he gets back and is reminded- she thinks as she picks the bottle up.
It's full. In fact. It's completely unopened. ...And the pills look nothing like the ones G- Her Husband had been putting on Genkai's tray.
She stands there. Trying to make sense of it. Was this a second bottle? Prescriptions came in three-month supplies, maybe he had just finished out the first bottle when she died, and this would have been her next bottle of medication? She goes to check the date-
"Anyone home?" 5th Division third seat Aizen calls out.
"MOTHER FUCK- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Aizen- You startled me and it's- it's- Oh God, I miss her so much!" Kakiyo sobs, and Aizen appears at her side, a comforting shoulder to cry on.
He escorts her to the living room and lets her sob while he gets the kitchen in order and cooks- He used to be a confectioner before he was a Shinigami and he makes a good fried rice too. He tells her stories about the candy business and childhood chicanery he got up to with his brother back in West 43 until-
-She almost doesn't recognize the man as her husband at first. Something is wrong with his posture, stooped and sluggish, and grimacing where there should be a grin. But the tenth Kenpachi comes and embraces his wife, and- it's alright. He's still her husband, and she lets him carry her to bed.
When she wakes up late the next morning, she stumbles into the bathroom and squints at the counter- There was something in here she needed to ask her husband about- Something about? Ugh. She can't remember. She feels hungover, and whatever it was is gone now.
---
On his way back to the 5th, Sosuke Aizen stops on the bridge over the canal, looks around to make sure he is alone, and dumps the bottle of digitoxin pills into the canal. He tears off the label from the bottle, tears it up, takes a look around for witnesses again, and throws the bottle and torn label into the trash-filled canal.
Lily of the Valley is the token flower of the 5th division, a symbol of Purity and Innocence. It's also quite poisonous- all parts of the plant are toxic, and will cause cardiac problems in high enough or continuous doses. Foragers must be very careful to not mistake the leaves for wild garlic greens- they look extremely similar. Lily Of The Valley has not much flavor, so a few leaves might not be noticed in a whole bunch, especially if they're all cooked in the same dish together.
Eating a bit won't kill, but one leaf in a bunch a few times a week could prove fatal in a few short months. Especially if the person is prevented from taking Digitoxin to counteract the effects.
He nearly had a heart attack himself when he saw the bottle on the bathroom counter, but with Kakiyo so tired already, it wasn't hard to weave Suigetsu's illusions around her, cutting off her memory of the bottle, and the autopsy report.
He'll have to talk to his co-conspirator about these slip-ups. His wife is quite observant, and it would be a shame if the lovely Kakiyo had to be dealt with as well. At least, before she has been of more use to Aizen. His plan demands that he eventually control the Fifth division, and the fact she outranks him is... inconvenient.
---
About a week later, Head Librarian of the West 51 District Library Kaname Tousen receives a letter from his sister Kakiyo in the Seireitei. She writes (Or rather, she has carefully dented the Vellum with Braille, the thin calfskin holds the marks better through the mail) about the sudden decline and death of their good friend Genkai, and how profoundly the loss has effected his brother-in-law. She doesn't actually use the name "Gosuke" anywhere in the letter, only referring to him as "My husband".
Kaname is saddened as he reads, but then he worries, as she writes about how stressed she's been- strange lapses in memory, paperwork mislaid- thank goodness third seat Aizen had found and filed that report for her. How distant and humorless her husband has been- coming home late and reeking of alcohol even! She has the terrible feeling that there is something wrong, even more than her friend's sudden and saddening death. Something is terribly, terribly wrong, but she can't imagine what it is.
...Maybe it's just the grief. I keep seeing conspiracies in coincidences, jumping at shadows- but there's nothing there.
I know you've got the summer reading program, and I can't take enough time to travel out there right now- write back soon? Tell me about the summer students and the state of the town, how you and Sajin are. You have a gentleness with your words I could use right now.
All my love,
Kakiyo
#Bleach#bleach fanfiction#AEIWAM#An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy#Kaname Tousen#aizen sosuke#long post under the cut#cw: fictional murder
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Teach Me Part Two
Max Verstappen x Reader Part One
Genre: Hurt/Comfort with a speck of spice (technically speaking)
Summary: Max teacher his girl about subdrops and helps her through one of her own
Warnings: Softdom Max, mentions to a past toxic relationship, mentions of choking, subdrop, minor insecurity, Implied smut but nothing graphic, Lando is mentioned for like a paragraph because I can
Notes: For @nurse-sainz who has fueled my brainrot to an unhealthy amount
Side Note: My inbox is open and I crave attention... :)
Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi
Max had come to the conclusion early on that she would inevitably hit a subdrop at some point. As much as he would like to make it so she never has one, he knows it's going to happen eventually. It's - unfortunately - hard to predict and often random.
Crashing out of a subspace too fast, A used safeword, maybe even just too much stimulation. He's had partners be in that lovely place in their heads and fine only to fall from it without grace and send them into a panic.
“A subdrop? I don’t think I read about those-”
“It’s one of those things that they don’t talk about as much. Hitting a subspace is hard because you have to let go, right? A subdrop is when your mind is stuck between the two. It’s trying to take back control but can’t.” Max pauses the movie they hadn’t been paying attention to. This conversation takes precedence as far as he’s concerned.
She hums and rubs the side of her face against his arm like she’s a cat. “They sound scary. I’m not sure I want to have one of those.”
“Just remember that if you ever do, I’ll be right there with you, yes?”
“Yes.”
He smirks at her. The idea had already been planted in his head. “Yes, who?”
She grumbles. A furious shade of red making its way across her cheeks. The honorifics is a relatively recent thing. The effect it has on her has Max cooing; debating if he should ever let her out of his arms again.
“...Yes sir.”
“Good girl.”
~~~♡~~~
Choking had come up a few times in the past. They’d talked about it but not done anything with it. Not since she wasn’t sure. She’d even brought up how her ex (the bastard) had tried to choke her out before she managed to flip them over and bolt to Max’s own room.
He wasn’t going to push for that. Never something that could be triggering. They’d decided that his hand gently putting pressure on the back of her neck was enough. She liked that and Max liked that she was communicating.
But sometimes - even that can be enough to bring back memories. He’d been lucky so far to not have triggered anything. Max knows from experience that even movements that are too quick can have an adverse reaction.
It’s not late, the sun is barely setting over the Monaco sky. Though - he’s not paying attention to the time so it could also be rising. He’d never know the difference. He’s only focused on the mess of a female he has underneath him.
She’s not formed a coherent string of words since orgasm number three. Only able to squeak out his name alongside little whimpers. It’s safe to say Max is pussy drunk and can’t get enough of her. He’s not satisfied yet, and wants to see how far he can push.
Max isn’t sure which touch triggers it. He’s pressed up against her in most spots leaving it hard to decipher where he ends and she begins.
He only notices she’s slipped into that awful middle headspace when he pulls back for just a second, intent on picking his pace back up. The confused fear that settles over her expression makes him freeze, patiently assessing the situation.
Her teeth clatter together, the pain of something evident. The breathing pattern he’d been waiting to even out only gets worse. “Schat, can you take a big breath for me?” He settles the palm of his hand against her rapidly beating heart. His concern only grows when she doesn’t show any signs of hearing him.
She makes a defensive movement to cover her throat with her own hands, silently pleading with her eyes not to touch her in such a vulnerable location. It dawns on him, that in his own flurry of movements, it’s possible he brushed her neck and set off her emotions.
“I’m going to step away from you for a second so I’m not touching, okay?” Her eyes go wide with panic and he knows she’s probably struggling to comprehend. The sadness of her expression kills him as he detaches.
Tears prick her eyes the second contact breaks completely. She snatches hold of Max’s own wrist and in a last ditch effort to make him stay, tries to press his fingers around her airway. “Nonono, schat, I know you don’t want that.” When he’s able to hold her gently once more after having resituated, the sobs she’d been biting back finally escape. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe, I would never do something you didn’t want.”
Max doesn’t grimace when her nails press into his bare skin; when she’s clinging to him for stability. He holds her, hums, helps her to try and steady her breath.
“Mm’ sorry-”
“Shh, you’ve nothing to be sorry for. Rest now.”
~~~♡~~~
Max manages to coax her into sleeping. She’s cute like this, curled up against him with her ear pressed against his chest. He presumes the rhythmic sound of his thudding heart is helping calm her mind. He makes a mental note to invest in some kind of white noise for if (he knows it’ll be a when, but he’s choosing to be optimistic).
“Max?” Her eyes crack open, only to shut tight again when she yawns.
“Hello beautiful, how are you feeling?” He tosses his phone aside to give her his full attention.
“Better - I think. I’m not sure I liked that feeling.”
“I would be concerned if you did, schat.”
She stretches her limbs out and flops further over the top of him. “Thank you… I was scared I messed up and you were going to leave.” He has to take a deep breath and remember that anger at the man who put these crazy thoughts in her head is no longer able to come close. He made sure of that with a few cryptic messages glued together in newspaper words and Lando’s artistic assistance.
“You’ve bewitched me! Body and soul… or something-”
“Are you trying to quote Pride and Prejudice?”
“Is it working?” He’s blushing at his own lame attempt. Victoria would have his head for this later. Problems for future Max.
She giggles. “Not really - but I’ll give you a pass this time.”
Max gets her out of bed and into a bath. He makes a show of letting her pout to join her inside win out. He lost that battle before it even started, but she doesn’t need to know that.
“It’s nice… trusting someone like this.” She relaxes against him, the water now lukewarm and the bubbles having dissipated.
“You still trust me?” Oops - Max hadn’t meant to let his own insecurity about the ordeal leak out. Oh well…
She tilts her head in confusion. “Why would I not?”
“It happens sometimes after a drop like that. At least - I’ve heard it can. I figured I was lucky enough that it hadn’t.”
“I think you’re just good at this. Not like you were trying to hurt me.” She shrugs. “I trust you, Max. You have given me nothing but your undying love and support.”
“...Now look who’s being sappy!”
“At least mine is original.”
“Can you at least pretend that I’ve also given you some really good dick?”
“Fine! Nothing but your undying devotion to me and some really dick. Happy?”
Max sighs happily and drags her body as close to his as he can manage. “With you? Always.”
#x reader#formula 1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula one#max verstappen#lando norris#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen f1#max verstappen imagine#mv33 x reader#mv#mv1#mv33#mv1 x reader#mv33 fic#mv33 imagine#mv33 x you#mv1 x you#mv1 imagine#mv1 fic#redbull#redbull max#redbull racing#max verstappen fluff#redbull f1#max verstappen 1#max verstappen 33
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Who’s afraid of Little Old Me and Beautiful Stranger!! I want to know everything :DD
-👻
Okay so Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? Is 100% based on the song by Taylor Swift. I hadn't originally put much thought into it other than I thought it felt very Human Hybrid coded.
Though to now go in depth with it…
-Wanda is actually a CEO and Natasha is a personal trainer for high end clients such as celebrities.
-Bumble has had six owners before Wanda and Natasha. Each one seemingly worse than the last.
-Bumble has had other names, but she doesn't remember them due to trauma and blocking it from her memories.
-For as much as Bumble will bite or growl when scared or feeling cornered she is a flight over fight response.
-Bunny hybrids tend to be the smallest hybrids. Usually females range from 4’8-5’0 while males are 5’0-5’5.
-Fennec fox hybrids tend to be about the same size as bunnies.
-Red fox hybrids(the most common fox hybrid) tend to have females ranging from 5’2-5’7 and males from 5’5-5’9.
-Cat hybrids tend to be in the range of females being 4'9-5’1 and males being 5’1-5’6
-Dog hybrids have the biggest range where both females and males can range from 4'8-5'10 depending on their breed
-Hybrids have ears and tails associated with their breed.
-Hybrids have hair colors of their breed. Examples: Bumble is a German shepherd hybrid, her hair, ears, and tail are gray and brown from being an Isabella German Shepherd. Scratchy is a Holland Lop with gray hair, ears, and a white tail.
-All hybrids walk on all fours.
-Bunnies can walk on two and hop around.
-Fennec foxes and greyhounds are the fastest breeds and need lots of space to run off-leash.
-hybrids also have similar teeth to their breeds. Bunnies have bigger front teeth, dogs, cats, and foxes have bigger canines.
-hybrids also tend to keep similar diets to their full animal counterparts. Cats need to have fish, dogs need meat, bunnies need more veggies, foxes need more fruits.
-There are more “exotic” hybrids
- “exotic” breeds can range from farm animals to wild animals like lions and bears.
Beautiful Stranger
-Wanda and Vision had been together for ten years. They were high school sweethearts that turned sour.
-It was briefly mentioned in chapter 1 that reader had gone back and forth between majors before taking a few years off.
-Reader was dealing with personal matters (mental health related) between trying to have a job and being a full time student took its toll on her and she ended up dropping psychology as her major and went general studies for a semester. After that she debated on history before realizing that also wasn't for her. That's when the gap year that turned into three happened.
-Though reader seems very nonchalant about Wanda being pregnant in chapter 2 she certainly had an internal freak out about it and gay panicked before getting the words out.
-Reader had dated Rio (who introduced this universe is only a few years older) but things didn't work out when both girls realized they loved older women.
-Yelena and reader grew up together in Ohio! They were best friends and always hung out until Yelena had to move away for her parents' work.
-They stayed in contact and when they got into the same college it was an immediate yes and an application for a room together!
-Wanda actually thought reader was beautiful the first time she saw her. When she saw reader laying in the grass, skin glistening with sweat she just had to go say hi.
-In chapter 1 Wanda comes to reader asking to babysit because her sitter canceled, but that wasn't true she had never called a sitter.
-Also Wanda didn't have to be out as late as she was. She wanted reader to sleep over that night.
-Also a final note I know when this is going to end. I've had that in mind since I started this so there should be 2-3 chapters left~
#ley answers anons#👻 anon#backstory asks#wanda maximoff#natasha romanoff#wandanat x fem!reader#wandanat x you#wandanat x reader#wandanat#wanda maximoff x fem!reader#wanda maximoff x female reader#wanda maximoff x you#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x female#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x wanda maximoff#natasha romanoff x reader#WAOLOM series#Beautiful strangers series
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Does the NYT Know What a "Progressive" Is?
The NYT reports on the integration of Tulsi Gabbard and RFK Jr. into the Trump campaign. This is news, though its essentially news that "conservative cranks support the supreme conservative crank." But instead, the NYT frames it this way: Donald J. Trump plans to name his former rival, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and Tulsi Gabbard, a onetime Democrat, as honorary co-chairs of a presidential transition team that will help him select the policies and personnel of any second Trump administration, according to a campaign senior adviser. Mr. Kennedy ended his independent campaign for president and endorsed Mr. Trump on Friday. Both he and Ms. Gabbard spent most of their public life as progressive Democrats, and Mr. Kennedy had started his presidential run as a Democrat, before renouncing his party and running as an independent instead. Ms. Gabbard left the Democratic Party after her 2020 presidential run and has rebranded herself as a celebrity among Trump’s base of support. Excuse me? Until recently, RFK Jr. was known for two things (aside from his name). First, water-related environmental causes; second, being an anti-vaxx nut. The former I'll agree is a progressive issue. The latter ... well, I guess there was a time when anti-vaxxers were partially associated with the crunchy granola left (you know, before it stopped being funny and started being a Serious Issue of Principle We All Must Respect). But this isn't exactly the profile of a progressive champion. Yet Gabbard is even worse -- she's been widely recognized as a conservative for years! Anti-choice, anti-gay marriage, a friend of dictators and authoritarians the world over ... what, exactly, is supposed to be her "progressive" rep? The answer is that there continues to be a small number of "progressives" (and, I guess, NYT writers) who are absurdly easy to dupe by anyone who makes some vague "anti-establishment" (especially "anti-war") rumblings. But aside from that, nobody actually ever thought that Tulsi Gabbard was any kind of progressive -- she has always been in a class of her own. And the thing is -- Democratic voters have made this conclusion very obvious, by emphatically rejecting both Gabbard and RFK Jr. every time they tried to hop onto the national stage. Their defeats were not situations where the "progressive" faction of the party happened to get outvoted by more moderate or establishment cadres (compare, say, Bernie Sanders). RFK and Gabbard both failed to get any discernable support from any substantial wing of the Democratic electorate -- left, right, or center. Progressive Democrats didn't see either as progressive choices, they saw them for what they were -- conspiratorial right-wing cranks. And now they've found their natural home alongside Trump. No news there. via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/kvQKYlA
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─── youtube : hausleo SEPT 2022. “ THE SCANDAL THAT OPENED EVERYONE’S EYES ”
would i say that cléo is a controversial figure? not really. or at least—not controversial in the way you’re thinking. cléo just has a big heart, even if her outward demeanor convinces anyone otherwise. and it’s her heart that lands her in controversial areas.
in 2019, cléo would land herself in muddy waters — no pun intended — with her first ‘scandal’ of sorts. fans noticed that she was a bit too friendly with stray kids’ backup dancers, one of which was revealed to be member of popular dance crew royal family, dante anderson - lewis. while netizens thought the friendship was cute, other fans would follow the duo around to their hangouts and gatherings, eventually capturing them on what seemed like a nighttime romantic bike ride through the streets of seoul. the pictures would reach popular kpop sites overnight, thrusting the pair into unwanted spotlight.
while cléo nor jype would make a statement about this, lewis would make a post poking fun at the whole ordeal with a post of him gifting her flowers titled ‘baby’s first dating scandal!’. lewis would have to clarify that the post was a joke in a top comment, later deleting the post altogether.
as expected, since the incident of sorts blew over quickly, netizens don’t count this as cléo’s first scandal. it would be two years later that an even worse story would break the news, thrusting her into scrutiny and making her the subject of debates concerning artist treatment and idol culture.
who is seok dowon ?
how did their paths cross ?
but as you probably already know… things aren’t as simple anymore. but now that you have the general gist of the background, now it’s time to get into the real meat of the scandal.
dispatch at the scene of the crime, again.
who was user ‘cleowrld’ ?
madness + insanity = …
so just in case you’re lost, cause this is a lot of information, here’s a brief summary of what has happened so far:
- roh junseo (cleowrld) finds 3racha in 2017
- cléo debuts in 2018 as a part of a 9 member group. the earliest cleowrld post dates back to 2018 as well.
- cléo and dante ‘scandal’ in 2019. netizens don’t care much at all besides *those* people. dowon gains success in *hotel de luna* the same year.
- premiere of the ten year pact in seoul in 2020. cléo is selected to sing its ost. dowon and cléo meet for the first time at the premiere. junseo and caila, a fangirl of dowon, meet the same year.
- junseo leaks cléo’s personal account to dispatch in sept 2021, which starts the dating rumors. cléo’s phone number is leaked, as well as some horrific messages sent to her, and she is put on indefinite hiatus by the end of the month.
good? great. awesome. this is incredibly heartbreaking and i honestly wish nothing but the best for cléo always and the fucking worst for everyone who made her life horrible always.
now this part will be rejuvenating. now we get to the part where we unravel just who the hell seok dowon is.
seok dowon’s true colors.
the apologies. one somewhat expected, one definitely not.
and then things went quiet. in total cléo was on hiatus for like seven months ( sept 21 - mar 22 ), and then stray kids had their first comeback without her as eight with oddinary. it was to be expected—she was summoned to court in april and won her case against dowon for charges of physical and emotional violence and financial fraud. jype also sued junseo and caila for the damages caused by leaking private information, also winning those respective cases. not much is known about the compensation afterwards, but it is to be noted that cléo donated to a handful of violence prevention initiatives not long after.
and then dowon retaliated on his own.
seok dowon makes his (unwanted) return.
now it’s been a year or so since cléo went on her hiatus, and people are wondering if she’s ever going to make her return. and honesty, if she never did come back, nobody would blame her.
so yeah. i know she’s prioritizing her health right now, but i’m honestly not above hoping for music. on my hands and knees. please give us something in the future.
i hope she’s doing well though. and that the terrible three are rotting in jail.
hausleo, out.
#⠀⠀⠀⠀﹒⎯⎯ development.#⠀⠀⠀⠀﹒⎯⎯ fanbase.#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!#fictional idol community#fictional kpop community#fictional idol oc#fictional idol addition#fictional kpop oc#fictional kpop idol#skz 9th member#skz added member#skz addition#skz female addition
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I really enjoy how you write Knives and Vash. I enjoyed the one with the sick reader so much.
If by chance could you do something with reader who has bad anxiety and panic attacks?
Maybe for Knives the reader is already feeling down because they are not allowed outside (sorta like seasonal depression I guess) and they feel of no use to him.
For Vash maybe something about how he says he wishes the reader wouldn't follow him and the group to Wolfwood or one of the others and they over hear him. He just wants them safe of course. They feel useless even though they have been able to keep safe so far. Feeling unwanted sends them into a panic.
Lately I have been pretty down and my anxiety about the smallest things have sent me into a panic.
Much love <3
I'm really glad that you've enjoyed my work so far and I hope you feel better soon. For now let me do some comfort and fluff. I'm in the mood right now. Also I've noticed that I sometimes accidentally write in first person so if I switch up on you guys I'm sorry Lmao.
Miscommunication and Self doubt --- Vash & Knives
SUMMARY: It doesn't take a lot to make someone feel worthless, maybe people should pay more attention to what they do.
Millions Knives
Artificial light, the only light that fills every room I've been in for the past four months. When was the last time I felt the suns on my skin, I had a fresh breath of air? God I have no clue. Ever since Knives took me in I've been stuck inside this tower with no hope of ever seeing the outside again. Just to make matters worse I get to watch everyone else do something useful while I sit and hope for a day that will never come. It fills my heart with dread every time I think about it.
I have no special duty, I don't run errands, I don't do chores. I sit and I act as a wall piece all day everyday. I stand by Knives side, accompanying him wherever he wants me too. Watching him play his piano, I feel particularly let down today.
Between the solemn notes and my aching heart, I don't know which was the straw that broke the Camels back, but I fell to my knees. Tears slid down my face and ragged breaths left my mouth, I sobbed, covering my eyes with my hands. Suddenly the melodious tune stopped making its way into my head and someone grabbed my shoulders.
"Petal?" Knives shook me with worry, he's checking me over for the source of my crying, but no injury is visible. "What's wrong?" He pulls my hands away from my face and cups my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. "Speak to me." His hands are gentle as ever, it's almost hard to believe that he's actually touching me.
"What's my point?" I choke out. "What's the point of me being here when I do nothing for you?" I pull away from his touch, another wretched sob falling from my lips. His face softens as his hands fall back to his sides. "Why haven't you killed me yet?"
Through my teary eyes I can see his blades slithering out from behind him, coming right for me. My heart sinks and I feel sick, he was actually taking my advice. This wasn't really the way I wanted it to happen but it was death, the sweet release. Closing my eyes, I patiently wait to feel him cut through me, to tear me apart and never wake me up again. Instead, I feel the blades carefully wrap around my back, pushing me forward.
Opening my eyes, Knives grabs my shoulders once within reach and pulls me against him in a hug. His blades slip off my back but stay close, I can't tell if he's actually debating on killing me or if he's just trying to keep me in place. Against him, I sob. It's hysterical at this point, I'm so lost. He has no reason to keep me here so why am I still here?
"Why?" I have no special purpose for him. "Why am I here?"
One of his hands rubs my back while the other holds the back on my head close to him, he's holding me so gently. I feel like he's scared of hurting me, but why? I serve no purpose to him. Even still, he lets me cry into his shoulder, and even rubs my back in an attempt to comfort me. It's almost like he really does care.
"You're here because I want you to be. I enjoy your company and... You're very interesting to me." He pulls away. "but I don't understand what makes you think I'd kill you. I clearly have a reason not to."
He moves his thumb to swipe away my tears. "I'm sorry it's just... I've been stuck in here for so long I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't... I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I don't even do anything, I want to do something. I don't want to feel useless."
He leans closer. "I can assure you that you are not useless, you offer me entertainment, company, knowledge, and more. My want is for you to be comfortable, if you are not, I have failed. If you wish to leave I will escort you out?" His offer is kind, I'm taken aback by it. Seeing the way he usually treats things, this was not at all what I expected.
I shake my head. "I do want to leave but not like that! I just want to go outside..." I lift my hand to wipe the wetness from my eyes. "I don't wish to burden you, Knives."
He sighs. "Yet again, you're not a burden." Letting me go completely, his blades retract and he stands. "Come with me." He extends a hand to me. "I shall take you outside."
Taking a deep breath I grab his hand and pull myself up. "Thank you." He doesn't say anything in return, quietly leading me towards his room. Walking through the door I'm greeted by a large bed, I was sure he had never used it. It was untouched, sheets laid without a single wrinkle at all. It was like he'd never even touched it. He pulled me forward towards the large sheath of curtains, brushing them to the side. Bright sunlight fills the room and he pulls open a sliding door, turning to the side he gently tugs me forward. I can already feel the breeze hitting my skin before I ever step out. It feels reliving to feel the wind blowing in my face again.
Stepping out onto the small balcony, I press my hands against the rail and close my eyes. Behind me I can hear the door shut and Knives approaching. The air smells clean and the sun is purifying. I could relish in this moment forever, it makes it even harder to believe I'll have to go back in, I don't want too. I'd rather stay out here where I can feel myself at peace with the world, where the wind blows all my worries away.
"Feel better?" I open my eyes to see Knives leaned on the balcony rail beside me, resting his face in his hand. The corners of his lipa twitch up into a ghostly smile, almost non-existent.
"Much." I adjust my gaze to the city below. "Good. I'll be sure to accommodate you more often. I had never thought to ask how you were doing or what you might have needed."
I take a deep breath. "Thank you, Knives."
He stands up straight. "It's good to see you smile again." At the mention I could suddenly feel the smile on my lips, I hadn't noticed it before. "That's what you'll do for me..."
I look at him confused. "If you want to feel of use to me, smile more. It looks good on you."
Vash
"I'm going to sleep. Good night." You waved everyone goodbye before you claimed into your tent. The outside was illuminated by the flickering fire, Meryl and Roberto had already gone to sleep. It was only Vash and Wolfwood left after you. For a long time it was quiet, sleep was beginning to creep in and you were comfortable. That's when you Heard it.
"Why did they have to stick around?" Vash pokes at the fire with a stick. Wolfwood looks up at him in wonder "Huh? You mean Y/n?"
"Yeah... I just wish they wouldn't stick around." You don't get to hear him finish the sentence, you cover your ears and dig your face into the pillow. Something in your chest aches deeply, the thought of leaving the group after becoming so close to everyone hurts. To think the best out of all of them wanted you gone hurt the most, you didn't do anything to make him hate you. Was it that you didn't contribute? Everyone played their part but you... You were just there.
You don't do anything but cook and help set up camp for the night, it's not much at all compared to what everyone else does. Meryl's got a job with Roberto, Wolfwood is trying to keep you all from dying, and Vash.... He was looking for his brother, trying to save the world. That's more than you could ever do for the group, you bring them down. You get in the way of everyone's objectives, you don't contribute, what's worse than dead weight?
When you uncovered your ears, it was eerily quiet outside, the fire wasn't crackling anymore and Vash and Wolfwood had grown quiet. Heart heavy in your chest, you moved your blanket off of you and climbed to the entrance of your tent. Peeling it back you stick your head outside, the fire is almost out, Vash and the others are nowhere to be seen. You assume they've gone to sleep. Crawling out, you wrap your blanket around your shoulders and walk over to the truck.
The wind nips at your exposed skin as you reach up and grab your bag from the top, it slips from your hands and falls heavily on your foot. Your mouth shoots open to call out in pain but you hiss through clenched teeth instead. After hopping about, you pick the bag up and sling it over your shoulder, stopping to look and back sure you haven't woken anyone up. The silence gives you an answer, you pad back to your tent, quickly undoing it to pack it away in your bag. It fits snugly with all your other items as you tie it back. With everything ready, you tie the blanket securely around you as a coat and begin to walk away from the camp site.
The air is cold and lonely as you venture into the desolate night, from afar strange creatures call out, sending chills through your body. While running with the group, you fared well, managing to keep out of trouble. Alone, you weren't sure you were going to make it. Looking back at the tents, you realize they're much smaller than before. It would be pointless to turn back now, it hurts to leave like this but if Vash didn't want you there you were willing to leave. Albeit bringing you to tears in the process.
For the next day into the night, you traveled alone, not a soul in sight. The heat from the suns has just worn off and the cool nights air breezes past. You haven't stopped since you started, your legs burn with intensity, and your eyes threaten to close. It would be unwise to camp in the middle of the dunes, you searched for a rock face to settle down against but there were none in sight. You realize now that your choice to leave so suddenly without thinking it through wasn't a good idea, you couldn't go back now, they'd certainly have moved on by now. You'd just have to get by until the next town.
Suddenly, from behind you begin to hear shouting. It sounds like your name from somewhere out in the distance, certainly you had to be going crazy. Then it came again, closer this time. You turn to see what's calling out for you, running up on a Thomas, Is Vash.
"Vash?" Your eyes widen in surprise as he jumps off the Thomas, throwing you into the sand, hugging you.
"I was so worried. You scared me. I followed your footsteps for two days!" He pulled back with a smile on his face. Just before he was saying he didn't want you around, now he's acting like he misses you.
"You wanted me to stop following you." His smile falls. "So I left."
His heart falls to his stomach. "What do you mean?"
You blink at him. "You said you didn't want me to follow you around anymore. I overheard when you told Wolfwood."
Vash sits up, pulling you with. "I could see why you wouldn't want me around anymore, I don't do a whole lot..." He frowns, keeping your hand in his. "That's not why I said it." He tips your head up to look at him. "I said it because I'm dangerous. If you stay around me long enough you'll get killed."
I stare at him in silence for a moment. "What bout the others?"
He nods. "Them too. But Wolfwood and Roberto know how to keep themselves alive. You and Meryl... She only has a chance because of Robertoz but you." Vash sighs. Tears start to burn your eyes as you look at him. "Me... I'm worthless." It comes out as a broken sob, one that you can't stop from escaping.
Slumping forward, your head collides with Vash's shoulder. Shaking and sputtering, you sob against him, his hands rushing to soothe your shaking body. He engulfs you in a hug, hands rubbing your back and brushing your head. "Don't say that. You do an amazing job of staying out of trouble and you're an even better addition to the team. But I'm scared you might get hurt one day." His hot breath tickles your skin as he talks. "I want to keep you safe."
White hot anger rushes over you, you raise your head. "Then do that! Don't just send me away and expect that to be even better, it's worse! If you want me to be safe then show me how to use a gun."
His eyes are wide with surprise. You've never yelled at Vash like that, it hurt seeing you so angry. "If that's what you want, I'll do it."
You nod your head. "Yes. Anything to help, please."
"Of course. Let's get back to the others though, you need to eat and get water before you pass out. Sit in front of me so you can rest for a bit too." He takes your hand and pulls you to your feet. "I'm really sorry I made you feel this way." He adverts his gaze as he leads you to the Thomas. "I had no idea you could hear me, it was nothing but the best intentions, I swear."
Vash helps you climb onto the Thomas first before grabbing reigns and hoisting himself up behind you. "I know. It still hurts though."
His face softens. "It won't happen again. I swear. Just stick by my side and you'll be safe."
#millions knives x you#millions knives x reader#knives x reader#millions knives#vash imagines#vash imagine#vash x you#vash x reader#vash the stampede x reader#trigun x reader#trigun stampede x reader
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saw @acourtofthought mention something pretty interesting about book 1 and elucien.
It is the fact that Sarah wrote Elain and Nesta in acotar to simply be the evil sisters in Feyre's story. That Sarah had not anticipated to write stories about them until later.
Although Lucien in book 1, is a fleshed out character way more than the two sisters.
We figure out about his unresolved relationships with his brothers and mom.
We figure out what happened to him by Amarantha.
We figure out that his lover died.
This all alone has the backup for a main character.
While Sarah talks about Elucien she goes on to say ''I always thought he would be with Nesta" and considering Sarah said in 2015 that there is someone special for Lucien, it seems like she planned that either of the Archeron sisters would play a part in Luciens story.
Obviously a lot of that has changed including the fact that we have gathered even more unresolved plots for Lucien in the future books. (spring court,Friendship w tamlin,Role as HL,Helions son"
Its just the fact that from the get-go SJM assumed that Lucien vanserra was always meant to be with a Archeron.
While answering the question about all 3 couples (feysand,nessian,elucien) Sarah states that Nesta would worsen the deep unhealed wounds within Lucien and vice versa. Although Elucien has healing tension and growth and she makes sure we understand they go through it together.
As if right now, Lucien and Elain both have potential to be the main characters of the same book. Dealing with the biggest plot (koschei) and growing together with the side plots. (seer role, HL role)
To me its obvious Lucien will be with Elain.
One of the first personal things we find out about Lucien Is his lost love interest. Which alone screams a happy ending coming (AHEM dorian & Rowan)
Although SJM made Luciens love interest murdered.
She debated pairing him up with Nesta but did not because they would tear each other apart.
Then she made Lucien go through a rejected mating bond after stating its even worse for the males?....
Even though she states that he has deep unhealed wounds? Nah.
Sarah would not make Lucien suffer so much only to have him lose his mate then possibly end up with a human who will die long before him.
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Midnight Maintenance
Third expansion of Older CIA Alex list.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
MDNI | 18+ | Please check AO3 for tags
"How is this not an emergency?" You ask your landlord as you stare at the thermostat on the wall. The temperature is reading almost eighty seven degrees. You fruitlessly turn the dial down to its lowest setting and hear the unit attempt to fire up before a loud rattling bang erupts from the utility closet and silence.
The landlord on the other end of the line, who is obviously annoyed with your third call that evening, rattles off something about state code ordinances. That an AC unit being out when it's below a certain temperature outside isn't considered an emergency. That he wasn't going to come out there at twelve in the morning and he certainly wasn't going to pay for an after hours service call from a company.
You open your mouth to protest even more, but he abruptly hangs up, and you snarl in frustration. The only other person you could call is your father, but he's out of town for work. This feels like its own brand of torture; you aren't made for heat. Sweating is your least favorite activity, and it is usually why you avoid any and all outdoor activities when it is above seventy degrees. A friend had tried to drag you to hot yoga once, and you had told them the only way you wanted to be sweating while being contorted into different positions was in bed.
Sweat is trickling down your spine and you can feel it on your hairline as you look pathetically around your apartment. Even with all the windows thrown open and the two fans you have blowing right on you it's not nearly enough. The air outside is a stagnant, muggy heat, not a breeze to be had, and as you debate just taking another icy shower, your phone buzzes.
Any luck? No. He's useless. Pretty sure he's thinking of excuses to evict me after all the calls. Can you go stay at your dad's place? I know he's traveling. I have work tomorrow, can't catch the train from there...it's fine I'll just sleep on the kitchen floor or something.
After no more responses, you tuck your phone back into your tank top, carefully slipping it under the strap. You skipped pulling on shorts and opted for just underwear for the time being. You had been joking about sleeping in the kitchen, but the tiles were looking more and more welcoming. You stare at the floor for a bit, arms held out as you let the breeze from the fan wash over you when your phone buzzes again.
Let me take a shot at it. No! It's okay, honestly. I shouldn't have kept you up with this. I'll survive, there are worse things that could happen...not sure what at the moment, but I'll be fine. I won't melt. Sleeping on your kitchen floor is not a solution. I'll be there in a few. Worst thing I can do is break it more. You really don't have too. I'm already in the truck.
Tossing your phone onto your couch, you quickly dart to your bedroom to put on something a little more presentable. It's too hot for anything too formal, so a pair of well-worn gym shorts it is. Your tank has a built-in bra, and while it's laughable for any type of proper support, it's good enough. You fix your askew hair in the mirror and attempt to wipe away the sweat shining on your skin with a cool washcloth when he pulls up.
You hear the truck pull in through the open windows and patio door, and poke your head out to wave at him. Even at one in the morning, the heat was oppressive outside. Because why wouldn't it be a heatwave when your AC died? You get to your door first and unlock and open it, waiting for Alex, and as he rounds the last flight of stairs, you grin at him.
"You really didn't have to do this," you state as he gets closer and you step aside to let him walk in. "I would have been perfectly fine with my pillow on the tile and my two fans."
"I wasn't going to sleep knowing you were stuck in this," Alex answers with a grin. He has the same toolkit in his hand that he had when he helped you move in. "Shit, it's worse than you said," he tacks on as the wave of heat hits him as he looks around your apartment, eyes settling on the thermostat. Eighty-nine degrees.
"What I wouldn't give for the frozen art gallery right about now," you tease, letting your eyes rake over him. He's not in a cut-off tank like last time. Unfortunate. But the t-shirt he's donned is maybe a size too small, hugging his arms and chest in all the right places, and you grin to yourself as you bypass him to the hallway.
"Good luck," you mutter as you open the closet door and point toward the unit that is squeezed into the space. "Hitting it hasn't been the solution so far," you tack on as you slip aside, letting him set his bag on the ground and flash a light into the dark closet.
"Slapping usually doesn't do the trick to start something up," Alex answers, glancing over his shoulder, a small raise on his lips. "Well, mechanical anyway." His gaze doesn't linger long enough to see your eyes widen before you abruptly twist on your feet to go occupy yourself with something else. Anything else.
You find yourself in the kitchen, hands keeping busy picking up the mess of your dinner...s from the past few days. Living alone had its advantages, such as not having to do the dishes right away or needing to put away that jar of peanut butter that you liked to snack on. But the same advantage was a disadvantage later when you had unplanned company.
Alex keeps working on the unit, the whine of a drill meeting your ears as you peer around at him. He's half in the closet now and a metal panel is leaned up against your hallway wall. Drying your hands on a towel, you wander over and stand near his legs, where he's on his back on the ground, soundly wedged in the tight space.
"Any idea what it is?" You ask as he cranes his head up to look at you, the flashlight in between his teeth. Even in that position, you see the feline smirk that quirks his face that much more. Notice how his eyes trace up your body over all the exposed skin before getting to your face.
"Few burnt-out wires and an overloaded circuit," Alex answers as he pries the flashlight from his lips. "Just putting a band aid fix on it until someone can come out and replace the parts," he explains before he leans back to get back to work. "Should be done here shortly."
And sure enough, when he sits up and flips the power back to it on the breaker, the unit starts. It grinds and whines but as you pass by a kitchen vent you feel cool air. It's not nearly cold enough, but at least not warm. You pause and bend over to put your hand over the vent before twisting to grin at Alex who's looking at you for a verdict.
"Cold," you say with a wide smile and stand up.
"Perfect," Alex answers, though you aren't sure if it's a compliment on his own work or the view you had just given him. "I'm going to hang around a bit, make sure it stays running," he states, "it's going to try and catch up, and I don't want it to burn itself out again."
"Oh, yeah, sure," you say, nodding a bit. "You don't have to, you've done more than enough."
"I'm already here, it's not a big deal," he answers as he steps around you to the kitchen sink to wash his hands off.
"Well, can I get you anything? I've got some," you pause and open the fridge to take a peek inside. "Pizza, beer, a very questionable container of chicken marsala from last week...and three eggs." You grin standing up to look at him as he dries his hands off with a kitchen towel he found.
"I'll take the pizza," he replies, tucking the towel back on the hook behind the cabinet door. "And a beer."
"Deal, go sit," you say with a shooing motion. “Find something to watch. I was watching Dateline, but you can pick whatever you want. I already missed the end of the last episode."
Juggling the plate with a few slices of warmed up pizza and two beers, you find Alex lounged on the right side of the couch. His legs are extended out in front of him and he's watching the murder mystery with intrigue. When he spots you though, he sits up and helps you set everything on the coffee table before you both settle in.
"It's always the husband," you state about halfway through as you toss your half eaten crust of your last piece onto the plate. "He even looks like a creep."
"Not always," Alex answers as he sips his beer, fingers twiddling the bottle a bit. "And it's not him this time."
You hesitate, then slide your eyes over to him as it cuts to a commercial. "I watch these all the time to go to sleep. They have focused on him enough to tell me it's him. I know how the show works."
"You may know the show, but it's definitely not him," Alex replies smirking.
"Are you challenging my True Crime savvy?" you ask, quirking an eyebrow. "Just because you do," you gesture vaguely, "whatever it is you do...doesn't mean you know everything." You pause, "unless you know this case already, which isn't fair."
"I promise I do not know it," Alex answers. "But I do know who the killer is."
"Fine. Who is it then?" You ask, shifting to face him better and stretching your legs out on the couch between the two of you. Your knees have begun to ache, having them curled under you, and the sweat behind them has grown uncomfortable.
"The neighbor," Alex states simply as his eyes dart to your feet, which are less than an inch from his leg. "This was definitely a woman who did it." He then proceeds to explain everything that led him to that conclusion. From the way the woman acted on the 911 call after 'finding' the dead wife in the garage to how she inserted herself into the investigation and constantly lingered around the home to help the husband.
You huff, not wanting to believe him even though it all makes sense and turn your attention back to the television. And sure enough, the story has a twist, and the neighbor and husband were having an affair, and she took it too far in her obsession.
Alex is gracious with his win, not rubbing it in your face, but at the small pout you give him he sighs.
"Beginners luck?" He offers before laughing at your eye roll. He gently grabs one of your feet and gives it a little shake as you continue to playfully puff out your bottom lip and pointedly not look at him. "See if you can beat me on round two," he states as the opening jingle starts.
His hand doesn't leave your foot as you both lock into the opening sequence. Unconsciously you shift toward him a bit as his thumb gently traces up the arch of your foot before you twitch. You're ticklish, but his hand keeps you immobile as he traces his thumb back down with a bit more pressure that makes you bite the inside of your cheek. It feels nice. Your job kept you on your feet almost all day, in heels, and there were days when you got home and barely made it to the couch, limping the whole way.
"First commercial break guess?" Alex asks as he rubs his thumb into the ball of your foot, pointedly not acknowledging what he is doing.
"You'll steal my answer if I tell you," you reply, to which he lightly pinches the soft spot in your arch making you jolt. "Fine," you laugh a bit, "a client of his."
"Not bad," Alex answers as he grabs for your other foot and pulls you a bit toward him. You scoot without question and lightly set your feet on the side his leg. "But I think it's the coworker."
As the show wears on, you find you aren't paying as much attention to it as you feign. Your focus is on his hands, on how they expertly rub out the aches in your feet, that one broad palm is enough to engulf your foot in his grip, and how his fingertips skirt up past your ankle to trace your calf a bit.
But you aren't able to hide your distraction for long as he switches to using both hands on one foot, a small groan escaping your lips. You can feel the heat rush up your chest and face at the noise, and you snap your eyes to Alex, who has given you his full attention.
"That sore?" He inquires, his tone perfectly casual though you can feel him shift a bit.
"I need to go get a pedicure just so they'll massage my feet," you confess as he works on the heel of one foot, causing you to shut your eyes. It hurts but then the relaxation after the pressure is heavenly. "Or just go get a massage in general."
"Lean back," Alex says as the show returns from break. "See if I can work some of it out for you," he smirks as you shift.
Is it crossing a line? Sure. Maybe. No? You don't know. He's a friend, right? Friends help friends. Maybe not at one in the morning, and probably not massaging out soreness unless that was their job. But...there could be worse things. You could be thanking him in a much different way that makes you squirm a bit at just the thought. This was innocent. Friendly.
However, this whole interaction would never be brought up around your father, who was already weird about you and Alex talking.
"Goddamn it," you mutter as you roll your head to stare at the ceiling when the show reveals the killer was the coworker. Alex had finished massaging your feet a bit ago, though they still rested in his lap, heels sitting right atop the center of his legs. His palms rest on your shins, thumb brushing back and forth idly every few seconds. "It's not fun when you lose."
"It's my job to be observent," Alex reminds you with a grin as he shifts in his seat. It's subtle, but because you are laser focused on just where your feet sit, you feel it. Feel him. Fuck, if that's him soft...You swallow and force yourself to focus and not give away what you just felt, and continue to feel, under your heel.
"Care for one more?" You ask though you don't really care about the show now. Too busy letting your mind wander to not so innocent things.
"You have work in the morning, trouble," Alex answers as you cut your eyes to the television as the credits roll. He doesn't let go of you though, fingertips wandering high enough to tickle the back of your knee before following the indent of your calf muscle back to your ankle. "I think you'll be able to sleep in your bed tonight instead of on the kitchen floor as well."
He was right. While the apartment wasn't the cold you preferred, it was at least comfortable with a fan so you could get some sleep. And you were tired, the massaging of your feet and legs relaxing you as you lay on the couch. But you also didn't want him to leave yet, either. It was nice having company, having someone around to talk to and spend time with. And also look at...and perhaps flirt with here and there.
Then a yawn betrays you and he gives you a pointed look, eyes darting to the clock reflecting it was almost three.
"Fine, Dad," you taunt with an eye roll, dragging your legs off his lap, feeling him one more time before sitting up. "I'll go to bed."
"Good girl," he mocks back.
Those words from his lips send a shiver down your spine that certainly has nothing to do with the temperature in the room. It was still seventy eight degrees in the apartment. He notices, eyes flaring a bit and lips curving up in the corners for a fraction of a second.
Definitely crossing into not friendly territory.
"Thanks again for coming," you reply as you walk him to the door, turning your head to yawn again. "I'll text you if I have any more issues," you tack on, heading him off before he tries to insist again that you call him anytime if you need him.
Leaning against the window to see him to his truck, you give him one more wave before dragging your fans to your bedroom for bed.
---------------------
"Fuck, fuck," Alex groans as he sits in his bed in the dark, the glow of the phone the only thing illuminating his room.
He had barely made it home. By the time he got to his truck he had been painfully fucking hard. Mind consumed with everything about you.
About the barely there gym shorts that gave him flashes of your dark blue undergarments when you bent over or shifted your legs on the couch. The thin tank top that did nothing to keep your chest restrained, allowing your breasts to shift with each step you took and to slide up as you laid back on the couch so he could see the curved tops by your collarbone.
Then all that skin of your feet and legs on display for him to look at. To freely touch.
"Fuck," he groans again. One hand works over his hard and leaking cock as he zooms in on a video clip of you with your feet in his lap with the other. The way you squirm as you watch him makes him laugh a bit under his increasingly strained panting.
Alex had known exactly what he was doing and how it was affecting you. Had purposely pushed the envelope to let you rest your feet over him, though it had taken all his willpower to not rut his hips against your feet.
The show had been the furthest thing from his mind, only watching long enough to get his answer before all of his focus was on you. How you bit your lip when you thought he didn't see and squeezed your thighs together as you pushed your heels down a bit to feel him more, thinking you were being coy.
He doesn't need the visual anymore.
He slides the video to the live feed of your dark living room, sets his phone down, and closes his eyes. He has enough in his mind's eye that just a few more strokes and he'd be able to finish.
As he arches his hips up and moans loudly with a slew of curses, not caring about the mess he makes all over his stomach, Alex swears he hears a soft little moan come from his phone.
From you in your bedroom easing your own tension.
#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#fanfic#cod#cod fanfic#my fic#fanfiction#alex keller fanfic#alex keller cod#cod alex#alex cod#alex keller x reader#alex keller x you#OCIA!Alex
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Here's a random thought I had the other day regarding the debate involving SH Tails:
WARNING: I get kinda angry and I WILL rant since that's what this is, you've been warned and please, no fighting for the love of God.
You know how this got started because of that Real or Cake vid with the Opera GX promo?
Well, I bet ya if they did this with Man vs Train or Luigi's Lament, there wouldn't be as big as an uproar.
However, since this involves SH Tails who's one of the most popular characters on Mashed's channel and given how he's a bit different animation and personality wise, well...
Speaking of which, time for a rant, yippee./neg
I find it funny how long before TSAA part 3 came out, a lot of people were wishing that SH Tails came back in a video but when he returned in that video, a lot of people were happy, sure but there were a small few folks that weren't as happy.
Considering this was during the time when Friday Night Funkin exists and especially considering that SH Tails was supposed to appear in VS Sonic.exe mod(which was cancelled) and actually appeared in the FNF: Secret Histories mod demo, a few folks were not happy with how SH Tails was drawn considering how he now has claws and is a lanky bastard.
(Way to insult the current animator for the series...😒)
The other thing was he sounded a bit different and some came to the conclusion that it's a different voice actor(it was NOT, it's still Mick) mainly because the tone and the slight softness.
Here's the thing about that, Mick is in his 40's, you can't expect him to constantly scream in a shrill voice, think about his poor throat!
Some folks went on to say that the current version and the OG version are not the same person which is bullshit because they are.
That's like saying that the OG Goku and the current Goku are not the same person or saying that classic SpongeBob and modern SpongeBob are not the same person. :(
Come to think of it, this whole thing gives "Classic SpongeBob vs Modern SpongeBob", technically.
Lemme explain: The OG SpongeBob was well loved, OG Secret History Tails was well loved, modern SpongeBob while it does have its fans, it's not as liked because it's "not the same", TSA version of SH Tails while it does have its fans, it's not as liked because it's "not the same".
In terms of Opera GX is concerned, you don't HAVE to use it, you can easily wait for the YouTube upload of part 5, don't worry.
The reason why SH Tails is seemingly calmer is because he grew and matured plus, this part is a bit of a stretch on my end, he probably doesn't wanna scare Amy off.
Animation wise, it actually improved overtime and while it's not the same as Zeurel's style, it's still memorable.
You guys are straight up nitpicking with these complaints, you CAN criticize it if ya want, just give ACTUAL criticism rather than just saying "they fell off" or "they're milking it" which, by the way, it's THEIR story, not yours, let them do what they want.
As far as why they didn't get Zeurel to animate the series, well, as the man himself said in a stream, he doesn't work with Mashed anymore since he has his own series called "Monkey Wrench" which you should check out if you like, it's good. :)
Folks would say SH Tails' return was "forced" or "only came back because of Friday Night Funkin" when in reality according to Mashed themselves on a podcast they did, the said that they've been planning on bringing him back since 2018, aka, BEFORE Friday Night Funkin even existed!
Here's the link to the short:
youtube
It's perfectly fine if you don't like the current version of SH Tails, just don't be a dick about it and don't act like you know better than Mashed.
To think this whole thing happened again but worse was because of a fucking YouTube short involving the "Real or Cake" trend that promotes the EARLY upload on Opera GX.��🏻♀️
Anyways, enough of me ranting.
Remember to drink water, take your meds, eat a balanced diet, take care of yourself, stay safe and don't be a jerk.👍🏻
#secret history tails#mashed tails#sh tails#crazy tails#mashed#psycho tails#tails the fox#miles tails prower#tails miles prower#sonic the hedgehog#there's something about knuckles#there’s something about amy#don't know if this counts as a vent since it's nothing serious...#sonic fandom#mashed fandom#rant post#y'all are nitpicky
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I have covid so I've just been reading One Peice fics all day (I need more hobbies)
Could u write some headcanons where Buggy and his partner are polar opposites (he's very colorful and flamboyant, she's very stoned face and serious)
I am also sick so I get it dude, this shit sucksss. Need that fictional man comfort
Make sure you got tissues, plenty of water or tea to keep the hydration up. Take care of youu
- Blank stares galore, you naturally have a dead stare which somehow becomes worse when you’re mad
- Crew has no clue who would be better to go to when they fuck up, Buggy who is a homicidal maniac or you. You may not kill or harm them but the way your eyes turn back to them as they’re trembling telling you they somehow lost a whole crate of loot.
- I think though it’s what drew Buggy to you, when you first met him you were stoic. But not in the way where you didn't have time for him or that it was fake. You stood expressionless and listened to him ramble on about being in the spotlight.
- Then gave actual advice on how to help his attention seeking career, he knew he had to have you join him on the spot.
- He was good at keeping tabs on things within the ship, you knew where every prop was, if costumes needed to be cleaned, where weapons were supposed to go. When Buggy was going to need new makeup because his was on its last legs.
- If Cabaji was a news updater on how things were going on the outside then you were the assistant to Buggy on the inside.
- He insisted your outfit be a darker blue to compliment his orange and reddish costume. As long as it was comfortable you didn’t really care. He tried to get you some stage part of the circus but realized your best place was to be behind the scenes.
- And he wouldn’t want it any other way, the mad circus genius and his little informational second in hand.
- Sometimes though enemies do think you’re the more scary one, he doesn’t like it when that happens. Debated even getting you a mask so he was taken more seriously for looting.
- Deadpan too with your tone sometimes, you can be caring and emotional but sometimes it just slips your mind when you reply to someone. Straight to the point on how something should be done.
- Buggy would not trade it or you for the world, or the one piece.
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