#its dark outside and i did not eat anything yesterday so i am letting myself do what i want

[legoshi-plz]

Pretenses Part Five (Louis x Reader)

Summary: Louis is a spoiled prince and you are a clumsy maid. Prince! Louis x Canine!Dog! Reader.

Warning: NSFW (+18)

Despite Louis’ outwardly composed nature, inside he was in full blown panic mode.

He had just finished up yet another uneventful dinner with his father and his future bride; now it was time to return to his chambers. His chambers he hadn’t been in since this morning. His chambers where he was currently holding you hostage.

Louis stood in front of his door for who knows how long before finally opening it with great hesitation, preparing himself for your angry, perhaps even violent response. Instead he was greeted with.... silence. You were on the bed where he’d left you, sound asleep.

Louis couldn’t help the relieved flutter of his tail at the sight of your sleeping form.

You had curled under the covers, probably to keep warm in the cold air of his chambers, your form rising and falling peacefully as you snoozed. Louis approached you slowly, checking to make sure you were actually asleep before his hands flew to throw off his royal regalia.

Once free from the confines of his complex uniform, he was under the covers immediately. Bringing your snoozing figure into his arms. You didn’t move a muscle; it was evident you were a heavy sleeper. Louis already knew this from his time watching you as you took your midday naps in his chambers but he didn’t know it was to such a great extent. He shifted so that he could lay his head on your chest, arms encircling your waist. He listened to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, his breathing slowing down to match your own.

He was asleep in minutes.

////////

You awoke to a weight on your chest and the smell of Louis’ cologne surrounding you. When you opened your eyes, the brightness assaulted your vision, making you attempt to turn away but that attempt was futile.

The Prince, who definitely wasn’t there when you fell asleep yesterday, was laying directly on top of you with his head on your chest, arms in a deadlock around your waist. You were caged beneath him, his weight pinning you down. You contemplated screaming bloody murder, hoping you could shock him into letting you go and make a run for it but decided against it. You doubted he’d remember to lock the door behind him, that could possibly be an opportunity for you to escape. You slowly began trying to pull his long arms from you when you felt his grip tighten.

“Don’t even think about it,” Louis mumbled, nuzzling further into your neck.

“My liege, please stop this indecency. As rightful heir to the thrown, a lowly maid such as myself would only sully-

“How long did you practice that one? Is that what you were doing yesterday while I was gone? Rehearsing pleas so I’d let you go?” Louis chuckled, finally opening his eyes. Sleepy amber orbs met your own irises and you couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his brown eyes looked in the morning sun. They didn’t reflect the light but instead nearly consumed it, a complete contrast to the brown of his fur.

“You must be hungry? You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday, if that. I’ll call the kitchen and have them bring us something up. Breakfast in bed doesn’t sound too bad,” Louis bit his lip as his eyes drank in your form beneath him. He definitely looked hungry, yet for something other than food; his eyes were burning with barely contained lust.

“I-I have to go, my Prince. I have to perform my duties in the kitch-AH,” you were cut off when Louis sat up and brought you with him as he pulled you onto his lap to straddle him. You felt your fur prickle with embarrassment as you realized not only was he shirtless, but he also seemed to be only in his underwear, the dark blue embroided material providing a very thin barrier to the Prince’s most precious asset.

“What about your duties to me?” Louis hummed, rubbing his hands up and down the fur of your outter thighs. The top of your uniform was still very much ripped open, so you brought your arms up to cover yourself, the blankets you’d been curled under no longer providing you coverage.

“Ah ah ah, you should know better than to hide yourself from me,” Louis hummed, prying your arms from your chest. He leaned forward, his mouth capturing once of your hardened nipples. The feeling of his hot tongue on your sensitive peak sent a jolt of electricity through you.

“Pr-pr-princeee, pleaaaase,” you moaned lightly, your voice nothing more than a breathy whisper.

Louis ignored you, instead moving to the other peak while his hands found themselves back at your plush hips. He rocked upwards into you, his hard member making its presence know.

“Take these off,” Louis mumbled against your areola, tugging at your panties. When you hesitated, he simply sighed before ripping them off himself.

“My Pri-

“Shut up,” Louis groaned against your chest, the vibrations further stimulating your raised peak. Louis plunged his fingers into your arching cavern just as he had the day before. You felt your head swirl in embarrassment and arousal, the two emotions battling for dominance.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you? How long I’ve desired you?” Louis asked, his free hand coming up to cup your jaw. His eyes burned with such passion for you, it was hard to not look away.

“That’s it, ride my hand. Just like that,” Louis grunted and you hadn’t even noticed your pelvis had begun grinding into his hand to meet the thrusts of his fingers. Your body was moving completely on its own, anything to help relieve the pressure growing in your lower belly.

Suddenly, Louis ceased his movements, lifting you up slightly with one hand while he pulled his underwear down with the other. His member sprang to life, resting against his abdomen as it stood glistening with precum. Being a stag and royalty, it was natural to assume he’d be well-endowed but nothing could have prepared you for the vision that was his impressive length.

He took your hands in his own larger ones and wrapped them around his weeping shaft. He let out a soft “fuck...” as he guided your hands up and down. He let go once you found your own rhythm, no longer needing his assistance for such a simple act.

“You’re so good at this- too good, actually. Did you touch Azuki’s mutt like this? Huh?” Louis asked breathlessly, his death grip returning to your thighs.

“I already told you yesterday, we aren’t like... that...” you grumbled, swiping your fingers over his sensitive cockhead, causing a needy groan to tear from his throat.

“Then what were you two like? You were already letting that filthy mongrel close enough to scent you, it’d be nothing for you to get on your knees for him.” Louis said angrily and you suddenly remembered exactly where you were and, more importantly, who you were with.

No amount of pretty words and declarations of desire were going to keep Louis’ true nature at bay for long. He was vile and malicious at heart. You knew this. He’d proven it to you time and time again. So when was it finally going to register in your dumb little brain?

You released his cock immediately, and climbed off his lap and out of his bed. You headed straight for the door but Louis was faster, grabbing and pinning you against the very door you’d been trying to exit from.

“Why do you keep running away from me? Can’t you see what I’m trying to do here?” Louis groaned into the nape of your neck. It sent shivers down your spine and you resisted the urge to arch into him.

“You’re trying to control me, to manipulate me”

“I’m trying to love you.” Louis craned his head back to look into your eyes. He saw no warmth in them.

“You have a peculiar way of expressing your ‘love’, my lord,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Annnnd we’re back to the incorrect formalities. Every time I feel we’ve taken one step forward, you move three spaces back. Why do you insist on fighting me so? I know you feel it, I can’t be imagining this attraction between us,” Louis finished, the grip on you wrists that previously had you pinned against the door now residing so that he could caress your forearms with the pads of his thumbs.

“I fight it because I know my place. I’m a dog, your highness. Lower than any other Herbivore commoner, and amongst the unfavorable even within Carnivore spaces. Most of the animals around here think I should be banished for even working within the castle during the day, let alone catering to you.”

“Their opinions don’t matter, they have no authority here-”

“It does matter, your highness. Because once your infatuation with me ceases, which is inevitable, you will return to your fiancé, marry her, be crowned King, and produce heirs. And all I’ll have is my life as a lowly commoner. That’s the natural order of things.” You lamented, your voice feeling thick with emotion.

“So what, you believe your future is with Azuki’s guard dog? Popping out litter after litter for him until you die? That’s no way to live, he can’t commit to you. His life already belongs to another woman and that’s Azuki.”

“You don’t think I know that? I’m fully aware of the hold our future Queen has over him. I’m just grateful for every moment he chooses to share with me. Makes my life a little less lonely...,”

“I could make your life less lonely! I could do that for you, better than he ever could!” Louis was slightly begging now, he could hear it in his own voice but he was beyond the point of caring.

“Don’t you see I feel my loneliest when I’m with you? All you’ve ever made me feel was small, and stupid, and unworthy. Legoshi doesn’t point out how I misuse words just to remind me of how uneducated I am. He doesn’t point out how unrefined my taste pallet is or force me to eat food outside of the carnivore diet. He doesn’t drag me out of bed at night to look at some stupid star a million miles away on some balcony when I’m afraid of heights. He doesn’t tell me where I can and can’t go, who I can and can’t see, just because he felt like it. He doesn’t humiliate me every chance he gets! He doesn’t boss me around just because he can!” There were hot tears streaming down your face. You had been holding this in for a long time.

“I see...,” Louis said finally breaking the silence. He released you from his grasp and took a step back. He adjusted himself, tucking his forgotten member fully back into his underwear. Though he had a beautiful body envious to those of Gods, he seemed almost shy about his lack of clothing now.

He glanced at your tattered uniform before muttering a “wait here... please...”, and walking towards one of the humongous wardrobes in his room. He pulled out a pristine, new uniform and walked back over to hand it to you.

“I kept a lot of these on hand, in case you ever wanted.... a more comfortable bed to lay your head at night...” Louis’s voice had never seemed so clouded. You silently accepted the uniform.

“You have my deepest apologies for my behavior. Such veracity was never my intention. I hereby relieve you of all obligation to me. You may return to the kitchen or to the gardens or to somewhere new if you like. Whereever you choose to go is fine, I’ll notify Stallworth of my approval. I...” Louis hesitated, finally bringing his eyes up yours.

“You’re free to go.”

/////////

A/N: I finally know how I want this story to end so hopefully they’ll only be two more parts for this series and it’ll reach it’s completion! Also thank you all again for 1K!

[interstellarhitchhiker]

weekend snack of champions, 4:42 pm

rainbow goldfish directly out of the bag

stella artois cidre

[rhysismydaddy]

An Artful Revenge pt. 3 (Feysand)

Part of the Damnation Series. 

Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 

~Feyre~

I spend three days figuring out what to do with the phone number. 

On Day 1, I decided I’d text, not call. It was the cowardly thing to do, but the thought of him answering the phone and putting me on the spot made me want to run and hide. 

Day 2 had been plain ole procrastination. I’d gone to the museum on the hope he’d be there, but like he’d said, that really was a horrible way of communicating.

Day 3, I decided, was the day of reckoning. I’d text him today. 

Shit, did billionaires even text? 

Maybe I should send a properly-formatted memo instead. 

And what should I even write? Hey seemed too casual. Hi, maybe? How’s your day going? Wanna make out? 

Gods, I’m bad at this.

After another two hours of staring at a blank screen, I send: Dinner tonight?

Then, because I realize I’m a fucking idiot: It’s Feyre, btw.

I throw my phone across the room in embarrassment, and put my head in my hands like that’ll unsend the message, then jump the couch like a hurdle when I hear a ding. 

And promptly frown when I read: If you’re going to ask me out, you have to call me like an adult.

I can practically hear his the smile in his voice, and I grit my teeth in annoyance.

But I call him anyway. 

“Look who grew up,” he says in lieu of hello, voice gravelly and amused. 

“Oh, shut up. Do you want to buy me dinner or not?”

He laughs at that, the sound making my lips twitch. “I would love to buy you dinner. But only because I can’t bear the thought of you eating Ramen for the third time this week.”

Narrowing my eyes and glancing around like a fugitive, I try to figure out how the hell he knows I’ve been surviving on reheated, soggy noodles for the past week.

I don’t have the chance to ask before he declares, “I’ll pick you up at six. Oh, and check your doorstep.”

The line clicks dead ominously, and I glance suspiciously at my front door. 

Tiptoeing over, I peek outside, eyes going wide when I see a package leaning against the brick side of the building. 

How long has that been here? I got the mail yesterday, so it had to come today, but... how did he know I’d call today? Is he Batman or something?

I grab the package, roll my eyes at the big red bow on top, and put it on the counter. Then I pick it back up and shake it like that’ll tell me what he’s up to. 

But the curiosity starts to kill me, and I rip into the pretty packaging like a feral animal, unable to wait another second. A shiny black box is inside, and I flip the top open, eyebrows flying up when I look inside. 

The dress is blood red and looks fitted and beautiful. But that isn’t what surprises me. It the thin, lacy underwear with a note attached. A note that reads, in Rhysand’s slashy, distinct handwriting, These are optional. 

The feminist in me flares, and I decide right then and there to make him eat those words. 

~

When six o’clock comes around, I’m prepped and ready for battle. 

My hair is done, my makeup pristine, and the dress is hugging every curve and propping my boobs up to sit nicely on my chest. I don’t typically give myself compliments, but I look damn good. And more than that, I feel good. 

I also don’t typically wear bold makeup, but I’ve thrown that rule out the window. 

My lips match the dress, a dark, ruby red that makes my skin look pale in comparison. I’m complete shit at eyeliner, but I put enough mascara on to frame my eyes and make the blue pop against the red of my lips and dress. 

I look like a mix between a pinup girl and a vampire, basically. 

Knowing how punctual he is, as soon as the clock on my phone reads 7:00, I swing the door open and smile broadly. 

Rhysand pauses, fist halfway to where the door was, and uses a long moment to take me in. His eyes linger on my lips, the exposed cleavage, the sweep of my hips. His mouth drops open slightly, but before he can speak, I step out and lock the door behind me. 

“The problem with your chauvinistic little plan to tell me what to wear, Rhysand,” I tell him, slipping the lace he’d gifted me into his pants pocket and accidently feeling him up, “Is that now you know I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“It was a flawed plan, I admit.” He swallows, eyes narrowing on my hips like he can sense if I’m telling the truth. “But the important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing.”

I roll my eyes. “Quoting Einstein now to make yourself feel smart?”

He smiles at that. “Stop calling me on my shit, Feyre. Let’s go.”

I take his hand, happy with myself for winning this round, and let him pull me down the street. He stops in front of a dark, speedy looking car. “Beefcakes busy tonight?”

He gives me a strange look, then laughs loudly. “His name is Rolando.”

Still chuckling, he opens the door for me before walking around to his side. The car’s low to the ground and dark inside, and it makes a loud, rumbling sound when he turns it on. 

He grins, almost like he can’t help it, and I laugh. “Boys and their toys.”

Rhysand pulls out of the spot smoothly, driving slowly because of the traffic. He reaches over and puts a hand on my thigh, just below the hem of the dress. 

It’s warm and wonderful and casual enough to not mean anything, but I’ve made it my goal tonight to make him cry like a baby, so I swat it away. “Don’t even start.”

“Start what?”

I look over at him and smile sweetly. “Trying to seduce me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I link our fingers together and rest them on the center consol. “Where are we going?”

“New York.”

My mouth drops open. “Um, what? That’s like a twelve hour drive.”

“We’re not driving.”

I gesture around us with my free hand. “Yes, we are.”

“You are such a little smartass tonight. We are currently driving, but we aren’t driving to New York. And before you ask, the answer is yes.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “To what question?”

“If it’s my plane.”

I drop his hand and throw both of mine up in frustration. “Okay what gives? Did you stick a chip in my head or something?”

He smiles, pulling onto the interstate smoothly. Even though it’s not as crowded, he still drives slower than I’d expected when I saw the car. “Your face is very easy to read.”

“It is not,” I argue, my face instantly finding insult with that statement.

“Yes, it is. I’ll prove it to you. Tell me two truths and a lie, and I bet I can guess which one is the lie.”

“What’s the bet?”

He takes his eyes off the road to give me a very male look. I narrow my eyes, picking up on the innuendo in his gaze, and he laughs. 

“And if I win?” I ask, taking in his profile while he drives and trying not to sigh at how handsome he is. Such a nice jawline. 

“I’ll answer three of the questions you’re dying to ask.”

Oh, he knows me too well for this. His smile grows because he knows I’m a fish gladly swallowing the hook, but still asks, “Do we have a deal?”

“Deal.”

I take a few minutes to think of facts about myself. 

“I had a pet goat when I was little, my best friend’s a lesbian, and I think Mick Jagger is sexy.”

They’re the three most random things I could think of, things he’d have absolutely no way of knowing.

But the damn bastard still says immediately, “Your best friend isn’t a lesbian.”

My mouth drops open because technically, she’s bi, and I make a strangled sound of disbelief that makes him grin. “I told you. You’re a bad liar. Shame, I could tell you really wanted to ask those questions.”

“I hate you,” I tell him, beyond annoyed myself. 

He pulls off the highway and turns, leading us out to a dusky private airfield I--shockingly--never knew was behind the airport. Rhysand slows to a stop and looks over at me, then leans slowly to press his lips to mine. 

It’s warm and sweet and soft, but I feel it all the way to my toes.

He ruins the moment by murmuring, “I’ll take my reward later, by the way.”

I shove him over to his side of the car and climb out, then realize I don’t know where to go. We’re surrounded by expensive looking planes, one of which is obviously owned by the billionaire trying to get in my pants, but I don’t know which one. 

I glance back over my shoulder at him, and he smirks and points at the one to our right. 

“Are you seriously taking me to New York?”

I kind of thought he’d been joking, but he nods. “My favorite restaurant is there.”

“You're ridiculous.”

“More like hungry,” he argues, holding out a hand to gesture up the open steps leading in the plane.

I stay where I am, casting a curious glance up the stairs. It looks nice and shiny in there, but no matter how nice and shiny, it’s basically a steel death trap. 

Even though I can feel his eyes on me and desperately want to hide this fact about myself, I can’t step up. 

And because he’s an observant little asshole, he notices. “You’re afraid to fly.”

“Um, well, not afraid-”

“You’ve never flown before.” 

I nod, blushing from embarrassment. I mean, it’s obvious he flies all the time if he has his own plane, and I’m small town enough to have never even been in one. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. My first time flying was three years ago, Feyre.”

My face must look doubtful, because he nods. “I’m serious. I never saw the point until a business rivalry made me feel inadequate. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. We can go somewhere else.” 

He’s sweet to offer, but... I want to go. I’ve never been to New York, and when am I going to get an offer like this again? 

“I’m... uh... are you sure about this thing?” I reach out and grab the handle of the stairs, shaking it to see if it’ll fall off or something. 

“Yes.”

There’s no argument, no doubt in his voice. And I know it’s irrational, but-

Strong arms wrap around my waist and heft me up, and I yelp as Rhysand flings me over his shoulder and my head comes very close to his ass. “What are you doing?”

“Kidnapping you. You obviously want to go, and I’d hate to miss the reservations.”

“Rhysand, wait, hold on a second.” He ignores me entirely and walks up the stairs and inside the plane, even stopping to shake hands with the pilot. I’m dropped in a plush chair, and before I can object, a seatbelt is around my waist. 

“See?” He gestures around. “Like a living room.”

“In the sky!”

He shrugs like that’s an irrelevant detail, looking back over his shoulder and gesturing again to the pilot. I peek around him to see the door seal closed, then the gentle-looking man disappears in the control room. 

“He’s the one flying this thing?” I mean, he looked competent enough, but... 

I start freaking out.

Rhysand slips his jacket off, throwing it over the back of a seat before sliding into it, gentle grace and luxury lining his every movement. His eyes roam over me slowly, and I can tell he’s about to try and distract me before he even says, “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” I pant back, gripping the arms of the seat with white knuckles.

Plan A having failed, he swiftly moves onto B. “Are you really not wearing underwear?”

B, I have to admit, does a decent job of momentarily distracting me from my inevitable death. “I thought you said I’m easy to read.”

He smirks. “Tell me anyway. I won the bet, remember?”

“I remember you never specified the terms, so-”

I cut myself off as the plane starts rolling, and if I had half a mind to care, I’d worry my painted nails are about to bust through the soft leather of his chair. 

I feel like fucking throwing up or stabbing him or running far away or crying.

Rhysand, on the other hand, looks completely relaxed, sprawled casually in the seat across from me.

The plane makes a slow turn, then pauses. Apprehension sweeps over me, and I groan and look at the ceiling. 

“Allow me to rectify that horrible mistake. My prize is... a kiss.”

Despite the nausea, I raise a brow and looks at him suspiciously. “You want to kiss me? That’s it?”

“Mmhm. Right now. Close your eyes.”

“But the plane-”

He shrugs and waves a hand. “Just close your eyes, love.”

I shut up and close my eyes, slightly pursing my lips and waiting patiently. I hear a shuffle, feel the warmth of his body come close to mine. My breath draws shallow in anticipation, goosebumps appearing on my arms.

There’s another pause, and I’m about to open my eyes to see where he went, but then the plane attempts to break the sound barrier and takes off, and I’m thrown back against the seat. 

At the same time, I feel a kiss on the inside of my knee.

My eyes fly open to find Rhysand kneeling in front of me, hands bracketing my thighs. I open my mouth to say something, but he growls, “Close. Your. Eyes.”

The frank demand in his voice gives me no option, and as soon as I do, he kisses my thigh again in reward.

“Now spread your legs.”

The plane goes faster and faster. “Rhysand...”

He sighs, a long-suffering sound that makes me giggle as I once again do what he wants. I mean, really, why was I even hesitating?

It’s obvious what he’s doing, and even though it’s not safe in the slightest, I’m well on board with the idea.

His hands move to my knees, then glide up, pushing the tight hem of the dress up. He’s pressing open-mouth kisses to my thighs as he goes, and then his hands slide up another inch, and my lack of undergarments are revealed. 

“Fuck, Feyre,” he says, like my going commando was my idea, not his.

I’m about to point that out when he leans forward and put his mouth on me. At the same time the plane lifts off the ground. 

I’m torn between panic and ecstasy. The combination makes me light headed, and a rush of adrenaline hits my system, making me gasp.

I try to sit up straighter in the seat, but he’s holding my hips in a death grip and pulls them the other way. I slide down, thighs falling further open. He slips his shoulders under them, completely in control of the situation, and all I can do is grip his hair and enjoy the ride.

His mouth is insistent and confident against me and makes me finally stop thinking about dying in a fiery plane crash.

He slides a hand up my thigh, somehow able to hold me still with just one, then presses a finger inside me. I groan and pull on his hair, squirming underneath his grip, but it’s useless. 

Rhysand holds tight, his strong hands preventing me from moving, as he devours me completely. I make a helpless sound, but he doesn’t take mercy.

I think, instead of the crash, I’ll die from this instead. 

I think I’ll just burn and burn and burn from the fire he’s ignited in my blood.

His name slips past my lips, and he pauses, then becomes even more demanding. I’m being adored, worshipped, eaten like a ice cream sundae.

Another finger slips inside me as his mouth sucks softly, and I come with a cry, practically strangling him with my thighs. 

He keeps moving, kissing me softly, until my thighs go limp and I fall back into the seat with a huff. 

He leans back on his heels, hands braced on my thighs, and runs his tongue across his lower lip in a way that makes me almost come again. Realization of what he just did courses through me, and I blush, well aware that my lady bits are still on display. 

“Flying isn’t so bad after all.”

Rhysand laughs, pressing one last kiss to my knee before gently pulling my dress back into place. Then he sits back in his seat, crosses his legs, and looks me over slowly. 

“Well, that was definitely a faulty plan, because now I don’t even want to go to dinner.”

“No?”

“No.”

The heat in his gaze sends a thrill through me, because suddenly, I don’t even care about New York. I want him to land this plane and take me home and give me a repeat of what just happened. 

But now it’s abundantly clear that if I went home with him, I wouldn’t walk out with my sanity. So, once again a coward, I deflect. “Well, too bad. I’m hungry.”

He says something I can’t quite hear, the way he looks at me tells me not to ask. 

“How long is the flight?”

He checks his watch. “About another half hour.” My mind wanders to very... creative ways we could fill that time, and I blush again. “I’m curious to know what you’re thinking about over there.”

His smile says he knows, so I look him over like he often does me and say softly, “I’m thinking about returning the favor.”

His eyes flare, his mind easily following mine, but he maintains his composure. “A half hour isn’t nearly enough time if we start going down that road.”

It takes me more than a second to figure out how to breathe again. “How much time would we need?”

“Days.”

Oh, holy hell.

I’m about to tell him to keep us in the air that long, but he winks and looks away, then presses a button on a remote I hadn’t noticed he was holding. A classy looking woman in a red skirt and matching blouse comes out of the cockpit, wheeling an ice bucket and holding two glasses. 

“Good evening,” she says quietly, looking at me kindly but avoiding eye contact with Rhysand entirely as she pours us both champagne. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

Then she’s gone. 

I’m about to sip from my glass, but he reaches out and switches his with mine. 

Immediately, I steal my original glass back. “I’m not getting poisoned because you pissed her off.”

“What makes you think I pissed her off?”

“She couldn’t even look at you.”

His lips twitch. “I know you’ll find this strange, but some people find me intimidating.”

I scoff, a very ladylike sound, and take a gulp of the champagne. Noticing he still hasn’t drank any of his, I take his glass and sip from it with a raised brow. “Are you going to let me die alone?”

He rolls his eyes and calls me a smartass but drinks from his glass anyway. 

“Why are you always so sure someone’s trying to kill you, anyway?”

There’s a long pause, and he seems to be debating if he’s actually going to tell me before he responds, “I have a lot of enemies, Feyre.”

He sounds so unusually serious, like he’s just told me something important. 

“I don’t,” I tell him with a sigh, suddenly irritated with my normal life. “I think I’ve grown a bit boring, actually. No one hates me, and I never even have to worry about being poisoned.”

Rhysand chuckles and gives me a strange look. “You’re not boring. And never worrying about being murdered isn’t a terrible thing.”

“I’m boring. I can’t even lie properly.”

“That,” he laughs, “I can’t argue with.”

“New game: I say something, and you guess if it’s a lie. No betting this time.”

He sighs but nods and gives me a get on with it gesture. 

Keeping my face completely neutral and making sure my fingers aren’t twitching or any other obvious give away, I say, “I have two sisters.”

“True.”

I narrow my eyes, but take a deep breath and keep my cool. “I tried to learn Italian last summer.”

“Also true, but I’m willing to bet it went poorly.”

A laugh escapes me at that. “It was horrible. I’m complete shit at the accent.” I try to think of other facts about myself and come up short. Gods, I really am boring, aren’t I? 

“I’ve never been in love.”

His eyes scan my face. “That’s a lie.”

“It is,” I confirm, looking at his chin and wondering why I even said that in the first place. 

He ducks to catch my gaze. “Your ex?”

We’re getting into dangerous territory--even I know you don’t discuss your ex-boyfriend this early in the game--but he doesn’t seem upset or stressed or jealous. He looks... curious. So I shrug and nod. 

“What happened?”

Taking another large gulp of champagne, I say, “He wanted to get married, I didn’t. I loved him, but... he was older and wanted something I just wasn’t ready to give him. And then he moved, and I got over it.”

Rhysand’s silent for a beat, a muscle in his jaw twitching, then nods like he understands. “Older, huh? You have a type.”

I laugh at the thought of the two of them being anything alike. “You couldn’t look more different from my ex. And you refused to actually tell me how old you are. ”

He sighs. “I’m seven years older than you.”

Quick math has never been my strong suit, but I figure it out eventually, my mouth dropping open when I do. “You’re twenty-eight?”

He nods in confirmation, and I proceed to lose my mind.

“Just twenty-eight? As in two eight, twenty-eight?”

Another nod, along with a very strange look. 

I realize I’m acting just a little bizarre, so I shake my head to clear it and say, “You’re... very impressive, Rhysand.”

When I’m twenty-eight, I’ll probably be just another starving artist, looking for a museum to hire me as a curator and begging people to buy my paintings. I’ll be broke and will have developed an allergy to Ramen from how much I’ll be eating it. 

I definitely won’t be a gazillionaire with a private art collection and enough real estate to own half the city of Chicago. 

He shrugs uncomfortably, like my bewilderment isn’t deserved, and I can’t resist the temptation to tease him. “You also suck at taking compliments.”

“Yes,” he admits. “But so do you.”

“What? No, I don’t.”

He smiles and braces his elbows on his knees and immediately proceeds to prove me wrong. “You’re far more impressive than me. You’re gorgeous and talented and have a way of looking at the world that makes me feel like I haven’t lived a day of my life properly.”

I blush furiously and look at the ceiling of our death trap, wildly uncomfortable all of a sudden. “You’ve proved your point.”

Rhysand laughs, then glances at his watch. “We should be on the ground soon.”

Almost like he spoke it into being, the plane dips and a mechanical whirring sound meets my ears. Is that supposed to happen? “Oh, fucking hell, you’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

“You did try to poison me.”

I give him a nasty look and mutter, “So fucking ridiculous, flying to another city for dinner. Next time, we’re going to Taco Bell.”

He rolls his eyes at my antics, unbuckling and moving to sit next to me. His hand slides into mine, warm and comforting, and I grab onto it like child child running from the boogeyman. His thumb runs over the back of my hand, and I sigh, leaning to put my head on his shoulder. 

“Thanks for the dress,” I finally say, remembering my manners. 

“It looks good on you. Like I said, I have excellent taste.”

I smile. “I’m waiting on dinner to confirm or deny that.”

Suddenly, there’s a large sound and a bump, then I’m leaning forward as the plane comes screeching to a halt. I press my eyes shut and squeeze the shit out of his hand, but he just keeps running his thumb along my skin, silently comforting me.

The plane comes to an eventual stop, and I peek open my eyes to see him grinning down at me. “Welcome to New York, Feyre darling.”

~

A week after our soiree to the Big Apple, I decide I have a problem. 

I like Rhysand way too much to have only known him three weeks. 

He’s all I fucking think about. 

Which, I guess, isn’t a problem. Being swept off your feet is every little girl’s dream. But it’s getting harder and harder to resist sleeping with him.

I’ve been wined and dined and given searing kisses that make my toes curl, not to mention the whole incident on the airplane, but we haven’t actually had sex. Honestly, I thought I’d cave on the way back from New York, but I ended up passing out in a food coma before the plane even took off, my head nestled in the happy spot between his shoulder and neck. 

I definitely want to sleep with him, so much so it makes my eyes cross just thinking about it, but it just scares me how much I like him. 

And I know sleeping with him would just make me like him more. 

I need a breather, need to get my distance and keep my head or whatever the saying is. I need to calm the fuck down, basically. 

So I, being a mature adult, decide to avoid him.

I make it five days. 

Five days of missed calls and intentionally unseen smoke signals. 

Then he apparently decides to stoop to my level and figure out how to text, because five days after the most extravagant dinner date of my life, my phone dings. 

If you ignore one more of my calls, I’m going to buy Dancers in Blue and light it on fire.

I spend exactly eighty-three seconds debating if he’s serious. I mean... surely not, right? I know he’s richer than sin, but he wouldn’t just burn fifty million dollars. 

Right?

Rational thought and self preservation be damned, I pick up the phone when it starts to ring. 

“That, Rhysand, was emotional manipulation.”

“Yes, it was.” He’s shameless. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not.” I don’t know why I bother lying, since I’m apparently such shit at it, but I do. “I’ve been busy.”

Yes, very busy with watching nine movies in the past four days.

“With...?”

Inspiration dawns. “My senior project.”

“Oh, really?” A nervous sweat breaks out across my back at the knowing tone of his voice, and I begin to doubt my genius. “What’s the subject?”

“Uh, well-”

“Now that we’ve reestablished you’re a horrible liar, tell me what’s really going on.”

If he were here, I’d strangle him. 

Or maybe kiss him.

“I need a few days,” I mutter, upset with myself for being an open book. 

“Why?”

His simple question makes me think he doesn’t want space. Is he as into me as I am to him? Is that even possible? 

“Because I like you,” I say honestly, having learned my lesson about lying. 

Rhysand’s quiet for a long moment, then he chuckles. “I see the issue.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. Answer the door.”

What? “There’s no one at the door.” 

At least there shouldn’t be, because I didn’t invite anyone over. 

“Incorrect.”

Eyes already narrowed, I stomp over and fling the door open, practically ripping it off its hinges in my frustration. He’s leaning against the brick stoop, looking sexier than socks on a rooster in a midnight blue shirt and black slacks, smiling at me. 

“You are not allowed to avoid me just because you like me,” he states, brushing past me without invitation.

“What do you think you’re doing here?”

He kisses my brow. “I like you, too.”

“Okay, but-”

“And I have cake.” He holds up a clear box, allowing me a glimpse of the fluffy chocolate deliciousness inside. 

It’s almost annoying how well he knows me, because chocolate cake is my vice.

I try to think of another protest that won’t que him in to why I’m actually scared, but he cuts me off because of course, he already knows. “I won’t touch you, I promise. Even if you ask.”

My lips twitch. “Even if I ask?”

“Even if you beg,” he states with confidence, strolling into the kitchen like he owns the place. He looks around, face not giving a single detail away as he takes in everything. 

Thankfully, I’m not a slob, so the place isn’t dirty, but it’s definitely not a penthouse apartment. 

It’s a tiny old townhouse, barely big enough to even be called that. The water is lukewarm, never hot, and I had to just take the smoke detector out of the ceiling so it would stop beeping. 

It’s part of my scholarship, and compared to where most college students live, it’s a dream, so I don’t complain. 

His eyes roam over half-done canvases and art supplies, pictures of my sisters, random shit I don’t have the heart to throw away. 

I sigh and bump him aside with a hip so I can grab two forks, then motion for him to follow me. We head into the living room, and I flop onto the couch dramatically, then motion for him to hand me the cake. 

Sitting next to me with far more class, he flips open the lid and hands me a fork. “Chocolate mousse.” 

“I’m going to be three hundred pounds if you keep feeding me,” I warn as I take a bite, not at all concerned with that possibility. 

“I think you’ll be fine.”

I grab the remote and flip through movies, eventually sighing in defeat and putting on Scarface. 

“Seriously?” he asks around a mouthful of cake, fighting a smile. 

“It’s my favorite movie, and nothing good’s on anyway.”

He looks at me like I’m the most amusing thing he’s ever come across, but settles down and flings an arm around me. Fighting the urge to tell him this breaks his whole ‘no touching’ rule, I snuggle into his side. 

Maybe it’s the cake, or the fact that I’m horrible at staying awake through a movie past eight o’clock, but I drift off to sleep, my face pressed into his chest. 

~Rhysand~

I finish the movie--fucking Scarface--even though she fell asleep a while ago. 

She’s soft and warm against me, body relaxed into mine without an ounce of hesitation. 

She tried to hide it, but I know why she didn’t want to see me. 

She’s falling for me. 

Which, technically, is the plan. 

Technically, everything is going great. 

Except she’s fucking worming her way into my heart too. Which is so goddamn annoying, it makes me want to strangle her. Or maybe kiss her. 

Being with her is... a wonderful kind of torture. 

She’s beautiful and charming and doesn’t look at me with an ounce of fear in her bright blue eyes, but it’s also like holding up a mirror that shows me the worst parts of myself. 

I hear her laugh and am reminded of the last time I laughed and loved freely. I see her beautiful soul and compare it to the bleakness of my own.

I look at her blind innocence and force myself to not care that I’ll be the one who robs her of it.

Maybe that’s why I finish the movie. I give myself two hours to sit here and enjoy her company, two hours where she doesn’t hate me or curse the day I was born. 

But then the credits role, and I have to pull my head our of my ass and get on with it, no matter how much I don’t want to.

Moving slowly so she doesn’t stir, I lift her into my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck, fingers playing in the hair at my nape, and sighs happily. 

I wish she wouldn’t do shit like that. 

I wish she was heartless and cruel and cold. 

I make my way up the creaky stairs to her room, then put her on the unmade bed, the covers horribly messy around her. The moonlight coming through the open window illuminates her skin and allows me to see how vulnerable she looks.

She’s in tiny little shorts that shouldn’t be legal, and a thin white shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide what’s underneath. Her hair’s a mess around her, her lips are parted, and there’s a calm, peaceful look on her face.

It’s perfect. 

It’s horrible.

Taking a deep breath and running a hand through my hair, I tell myself not to care. 

But as I take out my phone and snap a picture, my hands still shake. 

And as I type the message I’ve been mentally drafting for years, I feel like I’m going to be sick.

But as much as I hate myself for it, a feeling of victory shoots through me as I hit send. Revenge, it seems, really is sweet. 

And I’m just getting started. 

___________________________________________

Part 4

@perseusannabeth​ @cursebreaker29​ @elorcan-trash​ @januarystears​ @emikadreams​ @alpha-omegas​ @joyceortiz13​ @sapphic-beauty​ @meowsekai​ @ahappyhistorianreader​ @courtofjurdan​ @acalypsot​ @a-bit-of-a-cactus​ @elriel4life​ @girl-who-reads-the-books​ @shinya-hiiragi​ @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn​ @highqueenofelfhame​ @nahthanks​ @ghostlyrose2​ @lovemollywho​ @tillyrubes10​ @claralady​ @tswaney17​ @rowanisahunk​ @superspiritfestival​ @thegoddessofyou​ @bamchickawowow​ @awesomelena555​ @booksofthemoon​ @greerlunna​ @jlinez​ @studyliketate​ @over300books​ @justgiu12​ @maastrash​ @aesthetics-11​ @b00kworm​ @sleeping-and-books​ @musicmaam​ @hizqueen4life​ @maybekindasortaace​

[plainbrunettelbl]

ABO (A) Rancher Bakugo Katsuki x (O) Mail Order Bride Reader Train Ride to a New Life (Chapter Two)

Word count: 2255

Warning: None. 

Title: ABO (A) Rancher Bakugo Katsuki x (O) Mail Order Bride Reader Train Ride to a New Life (Chapter Two)

Summary: Cooking for Bakugo didn’t go as planned and you seemed to pick up a new friend. 

(Gif not mine) 

💥-It was just a week after you asked for his pillow. 

💥-You still hadn’t bonded yet but it was getting there. You would now kiss him on the cheek before he left to manage the ranch for the day. You were used to doing chores around the house for your parents but nothing could prepare you for the early hours. 

💥-Bakugo was used to getting up before the sun. You were not. 

💥-You still were stubborn in waking up to cook him a breakfast though. Even when he could see you dead on your feet stirring the oatmeal you were both lovingly and sleepily making for him. 

💥-He didn’t like a lot of sugar in his diet but the way you added brown sugar and cinnamon in the oatmeal made his mouth water and heart warm. Plus it was kinda nice to have someone who cared enough about him to wake up and make him breakfast. 

💥-He was used to the fried eggs and a cup of coffee before heading out to check on his cattle. The darkness of the house when the sun wasn’t quite up yet always kept him company during those times.

💥-Now he had your cute bedhead and half-lidded eyes to greet him in the morning. His heart couldn’t stop beating at the sight of your adorable frame yawning over the stove. 

💥-You would still be in your nightgown, fully prepare to crawl back into your nest and get a few more hours of sleep before finally waking up for the day. 

💥-You stood in front of the doorway. He held yesterday’s leftovers in a metal lunch pail to eat later on in the day. You had half a mind to buy him another considering it looked a little rough around the edges. 

💥-“Have a good day, Alpha.” You sweetly said, looking up into his eyes. 

💥-Before he could get his cowboy hat from the hook you snatched it up and delicately placed it on his spiky locks. His Alpha all but sat down like a puppy. 

💥-“Aren’t you looking handsome today.” You would smile before pecking a kiss on his cheek and send him on his way. He had to wait five minutes after he left the house before he could mount his horse. 

💥-He was sure if he didn’t he would ride Fred straight into a fence.  

💥-Your Omega would eye his door as you passed it down the hall to get to your room. 

💥-She desperately wanted to sleep surrounded by his scent. 

💥-The pillow was great but your Omega couldn’t get enough. She wanted to make a nest on his bed and burrow in it for hours. You blushed at the thought. You didn’t have much experience with men so everything was still so new to you. 

💥-You hoped you didn’t mess anything up. 

💥-You would push away those thoughts before coming back to your room and cuddling with the pillow he gave you. 

💥-You would get there, in time. 

***

💥-You placed a steaming plate in front of him. You couldn’t wait for him to try it. 

💥-“I followed all of your tips on how you cook your steak. You made it so well last time. I hope I cooked it right.” You nervously stood by the table. 

💥-“I am sure it’s fine. You didn’t have to go through all of the trouble, Y/N.” He didn’t want to make you feel like you were forced to cook for him. He didn’t mind spending time in the kitchen. 

💥-“Nonsense. You just spent all day under the blistering sun, you need a good meal to keep you upright. I wouldn’t want my Alpha wasting away on me.” You hid snicker when you saw his cheeks flush red at your words. 

💥-He didn’t know what to say to that so he just got to work on cutting a bite for him to try. He lifted it to his mouth and chewed. You know you hadn’t known him long but you could tell something was off in his expression even when he tried to keep it neutral. 

💥-“What’s wrong? Did I overcook it?” You asked, leaning over to look at the color of the steak. 

💥-“It’s good.” He said, holding back an odd expression. 

💥-“No, it’s not. Tell me what’s wrong.” You pleaded, hoping to correct your mistake for next time. 

💥-“Why did you add cinnamon?” He asked, genuinely perplexed. 

💥-“Cinnamon?” You repeated, your heart dropping into your stomach.    

💥-You quickly picked up his fork and knife before cutting yourself a bit. You chewed a few times before grimacing. 

💥-“Oh no.” You breathed, sadness blooming in your chest. You ruined two perfectly good steaks. You rushed back to the kitchen and saw the offending spice sitting on the counter among the others. 

💥-You had grabbed cinnamon instead of cumin.

💥-You leaned against the counter, tears pooling into your eyes. You knew it wasn’t something to cry over but your emotions were all over the place. Starting a new life was stressful. 

💥-You didn’t hear him come in. 

💥-Before you knew it two tanned arms wrapped around you from behind. A soft purr was coming from the Alpha. Hoping he didn’t cross a line he leaned down and scented you. He was hoping to calm you down.

💥-You melted like butter. 

💥-“I didn’t say it was bad, Omega. I was just wondering why you added it in.” He muttered, his breath warming your neck as he spoke. 

💥-It sent tingles up your spine. 

💥-“I’m sorry.” You sniffled, bring up your hands to lay on top of his. 

💥-“There is nothing to be sorry for, Omega.” He assured, squeezing you a bit more tightly.  

💥-“I’ll make you something else for lunch tomorrow. You don’t have to eat it. Since I messed it up I don’t mind having it.” You said, turning around in his arms. 

💥-You sad eyes meeting his concerned ones. His gaze hardened a bit at your words. 

💥-“No way. You made it for me. Of course, I am gonna eat it.” He replied, certainty in his voice. 

💥-“I want you to have a good meal. Not one that you have to force down.” You said, determined to change his mind. 

💥-Lunch was his only break for the day. You didn’t want to ruin it for him. 

💥-“I will savor every bite, Omega.” He smiled, loving your stern face. 

💥-“But..” Before you could argue some more he leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips. 

💥-You could taste the cinnamon on his tongue. 

***

💥-“We need to head into town later today,” Bakugo stated, digging into his eggs. 

💥-“Oh? I was gonna ask you when I could go into town for groceries. We are running low on a few things.” You hummed, sipping your coffee. 

💥-“I have been meaning to leave you some money.” He realized, leaning back in his chair. 

💥-“Money? For groceries?” You asked. 

💥-“No. I will give you money for that. No, money that you can spend freely.” He said, clasping his hands together. 

💥-“I don’t need it, Alpha. I already have what I need.” You said, refusing the thought of taking his hard-earned money. 

💥-“I want you to buy what you want, not what you need.” He said, his voice not taking no for an answer. 

💥-“But it is your money.” You rushed, feeling uncomfortable at the thought. 

💥-“Our money.” He corrected, his voice going a bit deeper. His Alpha wanted to provide for you. 

💥-You looked at him unsure how to respond. 

💥-“It is our money, Omega. We are gonna be bonded in the future so what is mine is yours. Plus I make money so I can spend it on my mate.” He said, leaning over and taking your hand in his. 

💥-Your heart warmed at his words. He was such a kind and thoughtful Alpha. 

💥-“Okay.” You whispered, looking down at your plate. 

💥-You would take his money but it didn’t mean you would spend it. 

***

💥-Bakugo said he was going to check something down at the lumber mill. He wanted to meet with the owner about a deal for the wood he wanted to buy to add more fences on the ranch. 

💥-He said something about how the owner Shoto and he didn’t get along too well but he thought he would bargain with him anyways. 

💥-He parked the horse and wagon outside of town. 

💥-While you were walking into town you noticed you got a few looks from the townspeople. They started oddly at your Alpha holding your arm. It was like they were astonished by something. 

💥-You wondered what that was about. 

💥-You bid him farewell and told him you would meet him back at the wagon. You walked into the general store and looked for what you needed. While comparing prices on different brands of flour you overheard the conversation in the next aisle. 

💥-“I heard Bakugo walked into town with an Omega on his arm.” A girl whispered. 

💥-“What? Bakugo?” Another questioned. 

💥-“Yes. I can’t believe it myself. How did he get an Omega? Most don’t even want to walk next to him.” The first voice replied. 

💥-“He is known to be a little hot-tempered. I feel bad for the poor thing.” The second voice sighed. 

💥-Before you could hear more they walked off. What did they mean by that? The Alpha you knew was nothing short but kind and caring. You pondered their conversation before choosing your flour and purchasing your things. 

💥-You smiled as the purple-haired Alpha packed up your things. He seemed nice. You wished him goodbye before walking out with your purchases. 

💥-You had walked back to the wagon no problem. You set your stuff into the back and say in the front. You were admiring the landscape before you heard something rustle within the trees. 

💥-The sound startled you. You eyed the treeline, afraid of what was lurking. Could it be a wild bear? Wolf? Before your mind could conjure up any more scary animals and small figure bursts out from the bushes. 

💥-It seemed to be a puppy. 

💥-You awed at the sight. You jumped down from the wagon and walked its way. 

💥-“Hello. Are you by yourself?” You asked, squatting down and letting it sniff your hand. 

💥-It was pretty quick to trust you, within a second it was on its back wanting you to pet his belly. You giggled and did just that. He was a little dirty and matted, he was likely a stray. 

💥-He was so pretty, he had black, brown, and white spots. His eyes were an icy blue. 

💥-“Do you want to come to sit with me? It can’t be safe for you in the woods.” You cooed, picking up the small ball of fur before making your way back to the wagon. 

💥-You wished you had something to feed him you felt his ribs against your hands as you carried him. 

💥-He was content sleeping by your side. You continued to stroke his head while he slept. You wondered if Bakugo would mind having a dog. You hoped he didn’t mind the new addition. 

💥-Before you could think up of something to get him to agree to the puppy you heard footsteps coming up to the wagon. You quietly covered the puppy with your dress. He didn’t sit to close to you to notice the lump. 

💥-“I finally got that bastard to agree. He nearly rose it up twice the amount I had in mind. Luckily we met in the middle.” He grumbled, climbing up next to you. 

💥-“That’s good.” You commented, hoping the puppy wouldn’t wake up. 

💥-“Yeah. He is gonna have it delivered to the house in a week. I am gonna be busy digging the holes for the posts.” He said, urging the horse to move. 

💥-“What are you building fences for?” You wondered, keeping a hand on the puppy so it didn’t fall. 

💥-“I’m getting a Brahma bull lent to me by another rancher. We want them to breed with my girls. I need to keep them in a fence together to higher their chances. The other fences are for other things I might add later on.” He said, eyes on the road. 

💥-You don’t think you ever saw a bull before. You wondered if there were as mean as they said. You didn’t have time to think about that for too long before your dress started rustling. 

💥-A small yap was heard before the puppy started chewing on your dress. Bakugo was quick to halt the wagon.

💥-“You hear that?” He asked, looking around. 

💥-You didn’t know what to say. Apparently, you didn’t have to do any talking before your furry friend escaped from under your dress and pounced onto your lap. He was smiling up at you with his tongue out. 

💥-Your Alpha’s shocked face made you burst out laughing. He looked too cute. 

💥-“So what do you think about adding to our little family?” You giggled, loving the way he blushed when you mentioned family.

I know nothing really happened but I have might continue this into a third part. So many of you liked it and I have a few ideas in mind. I am not gonna call it a series since my brain suddenly turns empty when I label fics that. 

I hope you liked this chapter all the same. 

The western AUs I write are gonna take place in the same town so everything is gonna be connected so look out for that. Thanks for the support. 💕

P.S The dog is a puppy Collie. They are cute. Check them out. 

[peachyteez]

mint chocolate chip ice cream ≫ DAY TWO, CARROTS.

this abandoned, shy bunny hybrid loves hanging around the open field area of the recovery facility. one day, with the help of jungkook, another bunny hybrid, jiyu meets mingi. after days of mingi being too shy and running away from her, a bag of carrots and mint chocolate ice chip cream was all it took to seal the deal.

PART OF THE HEAVEN SERIES.

✧ taglist: @defsoul15, @jaeminpeachy, @joongiebug, @sunsethw4, @t-tbinnie, @chanyeolol, @danibookmarks, @hello-its-ya-boi, @murralyn, @alienmashup, @panini, @moon8894, @koasworld, @taetae123094, @luv3rxcha, @treasure-hwa, @etherealbyeol, @hwaseongzzz, @lovely-sanie, @orbitiiny, @pirate-of-the-dark-seas, @babydolljo, @ms-starlight, @everrrlasting, @bls-luv-me, @atzgiggle, @arohabyeol

feel free to let me know if you would like to be added to the list! :)

✧ notes: fun fact, i almost accidentally deleted this whole thing when i meant to edit it 😭

✧ WARNING: small mention of abuse

back。| next。

“since when did you like carrots that much?” yeonjun asked as he eyed the huge ziploc bag of carrots that jiyu took out.

“they’re not for me,” she wryly chuckled. “you were right yesterday, there was a stray out in the field. a bunny one,” she explained. “he seemed pretty frazzled and scared, so i thought carrots could help.”

yeonjun gave a small nod. “what are you planning on doing if he warms up to you?”

jiyu bit her lip in thought. “i actually haven’t figured that part out yet...” she sheepishly admitted. “but yunho told me about a friend of his whose also bunny hybrid. he had red hair and this bunny hybrid also has red hair, so i was going to ask him if he knew yunho.”

“and if he doesn’t?”

“...then i’ll just ask if he has a place to go home to. which there’s a high chance he doesn’t, he’s a stray after all...”

yeonjun twirled his pen in between his fingers. “well, one of the hybrids under my care is going to be transferred to the adoption center soon. if you want and if he doesn’t have a place then he can take that spot,” he offered.

with a small hum, she got up with the bag of baby carrots. “that sounds great. thanks, jun!” she chirped before leaving to go outside. she hoped to see the tall, red-haired bunny hybrid again.

and she was in luck. stepping out to the spot from the previous day, she found the bunny sunbathing in the sun. his arms were crossed under his head as pillows and his eyes were closed. he seemed so at peace that jiyu felt it was a crime to have him run away if she were to startle him.

feeling someone’s presence behind him, the bunny hybrid’s ears perked up in alert and he instantly shot up into a sitting position. turning around, his eyes widened seeing jiyu there. with a gasp, he frantically curled into a defensive huddle as he trembled from fear.

jiyu frowned before sitting down a distance away from the stray hybrid. “i won’t hurt you, big guy,” she gently reassured, a soft smile on her face for extra reassurance. “you could run me over with how tall you are,” she chuckled.

peeking his head up from his curled up position, he warily observed jiyu. his eyes stopped at her nametag. hwang, jiyu. hybrid caretaker.

hybrid caretaker? where am i? he thought as his eyes flitted through his surroundings. this isn’t a park?

“um...” jiyy hesitantly called out to him. she brought the bag of carrots out from behind her. “i brought carrots as a sign of peace...?” she sheepishly said.

he felt his mouth start to water at the food in front of him. it’s been a while since he had a decent meal; he had previously been digging through various trash bins from restaurants for food, as well as occassionally raiding a few vegetable gardens here and there. he glanced up at jiyu, then back to the bag. it went on for a while before jiyu gently pushed the bag closer.

seeing that jiyu was just sitting there, he slowly crept to the bag and snatched it before scurrying back a few feet farther away from her. she didn’t do anything. instead, she sat there with a warm smile as she watched him open the bag and start munching on the carrots.

“so cute...” she mumbled under her breath as she watched the giant bunny devour the contents of the bag. a small frown took over her smile. “he’s eating like that’s his last meal...” she realized as she watched him more.

once he finished, he slowly moved closer to her and slid the now-empty bag towards her before scooting back a safe distance again. instead of curling up into a ball, he sat with his knees against his chest, arms wrapped around his legs. he curiously stared at her, waiting anxiously for her next move.

“you were pretty hungry, huh,” she said as she took the bag and put it in her pocket. “are you a stray?” she gently asked.

he lightly nodded, an action so small that it could’ve gone unnoticed to an unobservant eye. jiyu’s eyes wandered to his bare neck. “hm...just like him.”

who’s him? he cocked his head to the side at her mumble. his ears swayed with his head, making jiyu smile.

he’s too cute, oh my lord. she internally squealed. but the more she observed the hybrid in front of her, the more she was convinced he was yunho’s friend. they both had red hair, and they were strays. it adds up, but what if she was wrong?

“hey bub,” she quietly called out to the bunny as to not scare him. “can you tell me your name?” she saw him tense at her question. she deflated a little. i guess it’s still going to take some getting used to.

“hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” she followed up after seeing his hesitance. “i know you’re probably still wary, so i won’t force anything.”

before he could react, jiyu stood up and stretched her arms above her head. “i’ve said this countless amount of times to hybrids i work with, but the humans here, myself included, won’t harm you. just remember that, yeah?” she smiled before turning around to walk back into the building since she had to start making her morning rounds. “i’ll come back out again at twelve-thirty,” she called back to him.

he stared at her retreating figure in wonder. she’s weird... however, despite his earlier doubts, he spotted the familiar woman coming towards him later that day. in her hands were bags of what he assumed to be food.

she sat a safe distance away from him again and pushed another bag of carrots towards him. “i would get you something else, but i’m not quite sure what else you like besides carrots,” she explained with a meek smile.

like earlier, he slowly took the bag and scurried back a good distance away before munching on the orange vegetable. there was so much he wanted to tell her, but he was scared. memories of his old home flashed through his brain. how he was punished when he spoke up about his own feelings, thoughts, opinions...basically anything that went against what his owners wanted. it scarred him; since running away, he never gave his opinion on anything for others. he just went with the flow. while it did benefit him, there were times it got him into hostile situations.

he snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a small gasp from the woman in front of him. stealing a glance at her, he found her entranced with a butterfly that had landed on a flower next to her. with the way her eyes sparkled in fascination, she resembled a child that was getting to know the world for the first time. it almost made him laugh. almost. seeing her pout when the butterfly flew away was the cherry on top and a tiny giggle passed his lips. he slapped a hand over his mouth. luckily, since they were a distance away, she didn’t hear him.

“aw man, it was really pretty, too,” she pouted as she watched it fly away. turning her phone on, she realized her forty-five minutes were up. she cleaned up her trash and stood up. “it’s time for me to go,” she announced the bunny.

mingi just stared at her before looking down at the bag of carrots in his hands. he had only munched on half of them, and he was quite sad that he had to give up his food. sensing his distress, jiyu chuckled. “you can keep the rest of the carrots. i gave them to you after all.”

his eyes slightly widened. jiyu smiled before waving. “see you around, bub.” she discreetly smiled at her lunch bag that she had left behind.

watching her walk off, mingi continued munching on the baby carrots. as he reached in for another, he realized he had eaten them all. frowning at his lack of control to save them, his eyes landed on the bag that jiyu left behind. scurrying over, he was about to go after jiyu before he saw a note taped to the paper bag.

i had a feeling you’d eat all the carrots so there’s two more bags in here! eat them to your heart’s content! also, let me know somehow of there’s anything else you want to eat :)

a foreign feeling bloomed in his chest. it was like warm fireworks, a feeling that made a genuine smile appear on his face. opening the bag, he found two ziploc bags of carrots and a water bottle. she’s weird...but nice.

“be glad i went home and sacrificed my carrots for you,” yeonjun flicked her forehead when she came back to her desk. “now i gotta stop the market for more before soobin whines...”

“sorry, jun,” she sheepishly said. “hongjoong told me we ran out so i thought you’d have some because of binnie.”

“you owe me one,” he ruffled her hair, but his smile said otherwise. “so how’s the stray bunny?”

“he’s adorable, but still guarded. he was too hesitant to even tell me his name.”

“give him some more time. knowing you, you’d probably find a way to help him open up like you did with seonghwa and hongjoong. just follow your instincts and gut.”

remembering the way the bunny hybrid had munched on the carrots, the way his eyes would sparkle in curiousity, the way his ears swayed with his head, jiyu chuckled. “you’re right,” she replied, unaware of how she had made the bunny’s day.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “On a Hill.”

Still working on my ability to write fluff. Hope I am getting better at it :) Hope you all have a great day.

Sunny marched down the hall with great purpose, the words of her brother ringing in her head, “You know Sunny, if you want to do something special for him, why not try doing something human. I mean fighting is all well and good for Drev, but I wonder if he gets tired of getting the crap kicked out of him on a normal basis.”

Her brother was right of course: Adam did sort of have a habit of catering to her needs and wants rather than his own. It did seem more than fair to give him what he wanted for a change.

So, she had done some research, going around the ship and asking the other humans about what they considered to be special. Of course she threw a lot of ideas out on principle because she knew Adam enough to know that he wasn’t going to be interested. It was, surprisingly, Maverick, dateless, lone-wolf Maverick that made the suggestion that caught Sunny’s attention.

“Come on, what better way to a man’s heart than through his stomach. Take him somewhere cool beside that and you’ve got him hook line and sinker.” Of course Sunny didn’t understand the metaphor, but she thought she understood the feeling of it.

So, with her plan all pulled together, she made her way up to the captain’s quarters and knocked lightly on the door.

There was a muffled yip from inside followed by a voice, “Oh Calm down. It’s nobody you don't know. COME IN, DOORS UNLOCKED!”

She pressed the panel to the side of the door, and it hissed open. She walked into the large room leaning down to pet waffles as she ran over tail wagging.

Adam was leaning back on his bed, UNSC issued grey shirt and grey camouflage ACU pants.

In his left hand he was holding a book, turning the pages with his right hand.

Sunny squinted at the cover slowly sounding out the words to the human alphabet.

War of the worlds 

On the opposite wall, the TV was turned low with some sort of vintage zombie movie playing in the background.

“I thought you were a sci fi geek, not a fantasy nerd.” She said walking over to stand over him.” He set down his open book on the side table, “What is more sci-fi than zombies? Some sort of strange disease turns everyone into cannibals. Besides sci fi and fantasy are the same thing, the only difference between them is that sci fi attempts to explain its magic with logic and science, while fantasy creates completely new systems for the way it does things.”

She shrugged, “HAs it ever occurred to you that you are commanding a fleet of spaceships under the command of a galactic council of planets, and you're dating an alien. Does it really get more sci-fi than your life?”

“Leave my nostalgia alone, once upon a time I didn’t think any of that was going to happen…. Especially that last one.” His eyes dropped down from her face focusing in on the object she held in one of her right hands, “That’s a big ass ammo can, what are you doing with it?”

“You’ll see.” She said wryly. Walking over to his closet, pulling out an extra blanket tossing it to him. 

He nearly fumbled it as he stood head tilted to the side with confusion, “What is all this?”

“You’ll see, now come on.”

She led him out of the room and down towards the docking bay where a shuttle had already been prepared for them.

“Do I need weapons?” He wondered nerouvly stepping into the shuttle.

“No weapons needed.”

“That is very unusual coming from you.”

“Just pilot the damn shuttle will you.” She said taking the copilot seat next to him and setting the large ammo canister down on the floor. He did as she ordered, sliding into his seat and pulling on a headset, hands flying through the preflight checklist without so much as a thought.

“So where are we going.”

“Just followed the pre programmed instructions.”

He glanced over at her, his eyebrow raised, “You make me nervous. You know that?”

She frowned and waved a hand, “Oh calm down, I promise it’s nothing big. You’ll like it.”

He shook his head, but finally followed her instructions, lifting the shuttle from the airlock bay and out through the opening airlock doors while lights blinked red over their heads. He followed the instructions to the letter, coming into low orbit with the nearby glowing planet.

They had gone and done a preliminary search of the planet only yesterday determining that it was more than habitable and rather temperate. Plants were already being put together for some kind of scientific colony in it’s northern hemisphere.

“Alright, alien planet is cool.” he said, dropping them into the atmosphere with a sudden rattling, and an eruption of flames out the front window.

That soon dissipated as he slowed the shuttle, and expertly landed them on the pinnacle of a tall spacious hill with a pretty awesome view if she did say so herself.

He shut off the shuttle and stepped outside allowing the warm air to wash over them with a hiss. Adam tilted his head back, nose raised as he took in a deep breath and sigh, “Wow.” he muttered.

Sunny didn’t have as good a sense of smell as Adam did, but even she could detect the clear crisp air and the slight tang of dewdrops on moist soil. The smell made her hungry as they walked a little further onto the top of the hill, where a strange tree waited for them.

The tree itself was not dissimilar to earth trees, maybe twenty feet tall with a narrow black trunk and spongy yellow blobs sticking to it’s branches blocking out a distant glowing sun. Together they turned to look at the view, and Sunny hummed with pleasure as the human stood open mouthed and gawking.

The ground they stood on was a light greyish blue in color with little yellow flowers poking up every now and again. The tree they stood next to was the only lone tree upon the hill which sloped down into a wide- rambling valley. Purple and blue plant matter made up much of the ground while yellow topped trees added a sharp contrast. The sky above them was a deep blue, almost too dark to be a morning sky, though the sun shone bright through its murky blue haze. And then there were the planet's rings appearing as Massive white arches in the sky which plunged down below the horizon. A crystal blue/purple lake glowed at the center of the valley, reflecting a mirror image of the sun and the rings in the sky above.

“Holy, shit, Adam muttered.”

“Nice view, huh.”

Adam rubbed his eyes and shook his head a few times as if he wasn’t believing what he was seeing, “No kidding.”

Leaving him to gawk for a few seconds, she grabbed the blanket from under his arm and then awkwardly worked to spread it out over the grass under the shade of their lone tree.

She was having trouble, but just managed to flatten the blanket out most of the way when Adam turned to look at her. He paused and raised an eyebrow again, smiling a little, “What are you doing?”

She smoothed out one last wrinkle and then took a seat on the blanket legs stretched out in front of her, “What does it look like.”

He walked over as she plopped the ammo can down between them.

He shook his head, “I’m still not entirely sure.”

Sunny reached out and flipped open the latches to the large canister popping open the lid. Adam peered inside and all at once began to laugh. The smile on his face was enough to tell that it wasn’t a mocking laugh or anything. He just seemed genuinely surprised.

He reached inside and pulled out a water bottle still laughing, “An Ammo can?”

She shrugged, “I am told a picnic basket is usually preferable, but we didn’ have one of those on the ship.”

Adam continued to laugh shaking his head in either disbelief delight or both, “What prompted all this.” He asked motion towards the  ammo can, now picnic basket.

She shrugged, “I have been made aware that we do a lot of things that are very Drev, but not a lot of things that are particularly human, so I thought maybe I should do something human for you.”

He still had a smile on his face, but this time he shook his head resting one hand over hers, “Its thoughtful of you, Sunny, but I was ok with what we were doing.”

She shrugged, “I know you are, but you often let me have my way, so I thought it would be a good way to show you that I care, to do something that I have never done before.”

He smiled and lay back against the blanket a soft breeze tugging at his shirt, “Well consider mission accomplished. This was a pretty great idea.” He cracked his one good eye to look at her, “So, who did you ask?”

Sunny shrugged a bit sheepishly, “it was Maverick’s idea, but I DID go looking for her myself.”

“Maverick? That sly dog, I would never have pegged her as the type to come up with something like this.”

“Yeah she is….. Hmmm… how shall I say.”

“She should have been born Drev. I don’t think she has ever dated anyone but I’m pretty sure she would consider kicking the snot out of someone the perfect way to spend an afternoon.”

“She does have the heart of a Drev.” Sunny said nodding, leaning back on the blanket next to him to stare up at the great rings in the sky above.

Adam chuckled again after a few minutes of silence, “Ammo can.”

“Shut up.”

He laughed again and sat up on one elbow digging through the canister until he came up with a sandwich before sitting himself cross legged on the blanket and taking a bite.

Sunny reached in after him and pulled out an apple.

She liked human fruit, though with apples she had to be careful to avoid the seeds. Humans could probably handle them without too much issue, but she had learned from experience that accidentally ingesting an apple seed made her very, very sick.

Adam was about halfway through his sandwich, when a slight movement from the corner of her eye caught Sunny’s attention. She paused eating her apple mid crunch and turned to look towards the movement.

She paused, eyes widening a little.

“Adam…. Don’t look now, but we have company.”

He paused, sandwich halfway to his mouth and turned his head pausing and staring as she had done as a troop of fuzzy foot and a half tall- bird-ish things came waddling up the hill towards them.

Again at about a foot and a half tall, the creatures walked on two legs like a bird. They had very big fluffy bodies and little heads that sat atop their ample fluff. A short thick beak sat at the front of their faces.

“Stay very still.” Sunny muttered from the corner of her mouth as the little troop of about fifteen creatures waddled up the hill.

They didn’t seem scared of the two strange looking aliens as they approached. Adam, despite Sunny’s warning leaned over to get a better look as one of them moved closer, “what are these?”

The creature was now only a foot or so away from him, and as Sunny watched, it’s small head rose up from it’s fluffy body suspended on the end of it’s long furry neck as it extended and nibbled at Adam’s sandwich.

He let off an exclamation of indignation as he pulled his sandwich away, “Ack!”

As soon as the strange noise came out from his mouth a chorus of other voices followed, “ACK.” As the entire troop parreted the sound back at him.

He was surrounded now on all sides, and from his opposite side another fo the creature’s extended his neck in an attempt to take a bit from his sandwich.

“Hey!” he shouted leaning the other way and huddling closer around his sandwich.

Sunny laughed, watching as the strange troop of birds began curiously pecking at him.

Two of them were pecking at his bootlaces, another was tugging at his pant leg. One of them had crawled into his lap in search of the sandwich, while two others were busy plucking at strands of hair atop his head. He had his hand raised high over his head in order to protect his sandwich. 

She continued to laugh as their curiosity led one to stick it’s head down the front of his shirt.

He yelped in surprise.

And the group chorused the sound.

Sunny couldn’t hold back the loud barking laugh that spilled from hier, and just like that the group of them scrambled in fear hiding behind Adam in an unruly mob.

Adam frowned, and turned to look over his shoulder, looking back at Sunny with a frown.

One of the birds poked its head out from behind Adam, and upon seeing her it parroted Adam’s yelp of alarm and hid again, “Why aren’t they all over you?” Adam protested 

Sunny snorted, “They can sense the danger.”

Adam frowned, ‘i’m dangerous.”

That made sunny laugh again, “You! You’re a marshmallow and they can sense it!”

Two more heads poked out from around Adam’s back, and the birds slowly began to wadner forward. One of them crawled back onto his lap, while the others moved to their palace at his bootlaces again.

A couple of them wandered over to sunny where they stood in a semi straight line to just stare at her. She stared back 

Adam huffed in frustration, and Sunny turned to look at him, holding his sandwich above his head again, “I could eat you for lunch if I wanted.” He pointed over at Sunny, “She’s a herbivore.”

They didn’t seem to care, and continued to peck at him.

Eventually he was forced to stand up just to eat his sandwich, while they parroted any noise he made that wasn’t speech.

Sunny stood after he was finished eating, walking a little ways down the hill with him. The troop followed in a line at Adam’s heels, keeping to his left, where Sunny was on his right.

“Leave it to you to immediately make new alien friends.”

He squeezed her hand, “You have to admit, I’m pretty good at it.” He looked up at her out of the corner of his eye, “You being exhibit A.”

“Hmmm, I think you were a bit too good when it comes to me.”

His mouth twitched slightly, “Yeah, I sort of didn’t intend to make you fall head over heels for me.” She smiled openly now, “But who could blame you. I am pretty irresistible.”

Sunny would later insist that she shoved him very lightly, and he was just off balance enough to fall over and go rolling halfway down the hill with a troop of birds squawking after him. She would also deny the fact that she laughed when a few of the birds lost their footing and went rolling down the hill after him.

Of course she could be seen awkwardly running down the hill after to see if he was ok, only to come to a stop laughing again when she found him sprawled on his back with one of the creatures sitting atop his chest and another one pecking at his ears. She carried him back up the hill when he proved unable to walk due to dizziness.

“I thought you were a fighter pilot immune to dizziness.” She said 

He crossed his arms just over the bird who had refused to get off his chest, and was not receiving a ride back up the hill courtesy of Sunny, “I AM but only when given warning. Generally I am not launched into flight without my knowledge.”

She snorted as she turfed him down back on the blanket, The bird squawking indignantly,

He frowned at it, “What is this?”

After a few minutes, the others followed, returning to their curious adventuring in his clothes and hair. One of them stuck it’s head into his sleeve without warning pradding him in the armpit and forcing him to make another yelping noise which they soon parroted back at him.

Sunny sat pointing and laughing at him as he suffered, though it could hardly count as suffering considering he was smiling so much, and seemed to be more than enjoying it. 

Her sides hurt with how much laughing she was doing as his expense and couldn’t help but take a few pictures of his predicament. 

It would have seemed strange to an outsider,, if they had come around a few hours later.

A drev and a human lying atop a blanket. The human using the Drev as a pillow, while both of them were surrounded by strange sleeping birdlike creatures, one resting on top of the human while the others hunkered down around them.

Eyes still closed Sunny asked, “So, despite our…. Uninvited guests. Did I do good.:

Adam didn’t open his eyes either, “This is probably the best time Ive had in the past week ,and that’s saying something.” he paused, “You did good.”

She smiled, “I know, I’m pretty amazing.”

[cafeinthemoon]

The Leaves of Her Garden - Chapter VIII

Title: The Leaves of Her Garden

Genre: Fanfiction

Pairing: Madara Uchiha x reader

Rating: Mature

Word count: 2650

Chapter (s): 8/?

Warning(s): none just Madara being scary an such

Read the previous chapters here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Interlude, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Symbols: 🌙 | ➕ | ▶▶

A Treaty With an Unreliable Clan

You opened your eyes in a startle, yet you found nothing around you but the darkness. You moved on the mattress, to try and spot something among the shadows as well as to make sure you were not late. Madara told you to be prepared, for you would leave before the sunrise. You woke up at least two times before that one, but it was not the time to stand up yet; now you weren’t sure.

You fought against the burning sensation in your eyes caused by the remaining sleep and sat on the futon. You looked around for the second time and sensed some grayish light rising outside the porch’s door, being filtered by its translucent material and filling the room with what seemed to be a mist curtain . Should you leave the bed now? Well, you found it better to do so. You moved the sheets away and, after some stretching, you stood up; you grabbed the clothes you kept separated the night before and went to the bathroom to take care of yourself.

When you came back, the room was as quiet and as dark as when you left. Your feet crossed the distance between the bathroom’s door and the bed without a noise; you were going to fold the sheets and wait for Madara there.

However, you didn’t go too far.

One more step toward the futon and you sensed something like a presence behind you. You turned to look and your heart almost jumped out from your mouth when you found a shadow with glimmering eyes staring at you. Stepping behind, you were going to scream and stumble in the mattress, but none of this happened: with one hand the shadow grabbed you before the fall, while the other hand covered your mouth, only giving you room to breathe.

When it was clear that you were not going to make a fuzz, he relaxed the grip around you and uncovered your mouth. You sighed.

- You scared me… Madara-sama.

He couldn’t contain a smile and moved his hands away from you.

- As always – he then walked toward the porch’s door, glancing over his shoulder – I hope you are ready by now. Shall we?

You hesitated. He turned to you.

- What is it?

- I myself am ready – you explained, turning to the futon – But I’d like to make my bed before leaving. It is a habit I’d like to maintain.

Madara looked at your bed and back to you before nodding as a sign of approval.

- Good. Make your bed, then.

You nodded and started to fold the sheets. You softened your pillow and put the sheets under it, just like your mother taught you when you were little, then passed your hands through the mattress to clean it before covering with its cape. As you worked, you felt his eyes at your back, catching all the details despite the penumbra in which the room was drowned in; each movement of yours were observed and examined to the point that a task as ordinary as making your bed became some sort of resistence test. You started to think that you should have already be used to it, for you have been watched since your arrival, but there was a possibility that you would never managed to see it as something normal. You never liked being watched.

When everything was finished, you stood up and turned to him. He opened the porch’s door and you grabbed the sandals you left at the porch’s entry, following him to the gray morning outside.

***

That time you had to walk to reach the place where you were going to train. Not that it was bad, though: the spring air was delightful under the first light of the day, and a breeze was blowing through the trees and over the grass; the birds just started their singing, and nothing beyond their voices was heard. Looking at your surroundings in such circumstances, you almost felt in peace.

The place of training was the same as yesterday, quiet and wide; however, you felt a cold you didn’t noticed the first time you’ve been there. It would not make any difference, though: it was going to be hot later and you were going to sweat, maybe more than the other day.

You didn’t immediately start the training. Madara led you under the low branches of a tree and showed you a towel covering a part of the ground. Upon it there was something wrapped with a kitchen cloth, which you understood to be a bowl and a cup of bamboo. A recently prepared breakfast. Was it made by him or by one of the servants? You didn’t have the courage to ask.

He knelt on the edge of the towel and told you to take a place on the opposite side. When you did it, he indicated the pack .

- Eat. You will not go too far without being properly fed.

You unwrapped the cloth and put it aside. You then held the bowl with one hand and took the pair of hashi with the other. Before putting them to stir the content, you looked at him.

- Thank you, Madara-sama.

He nodded, and you started to eat. At first, it was not that easy: the content of the bowl and the cup smelled good, but you weren’t hungry. It didn’t go unnoticed by him.

- I see that you are not used to eat by this time of the day. But think of the benefits and make some effort. You need to preserve your good aspect for the ceremony.

You obeyed. It took more time than usual, but you finally emptied the bowl. You suspected that Madara would not let you stand up before finishing your breakfast, but fortunately for you nor the bowl nor the cup were that full.

After breakfast, you two didn’t stand up immediately. It seemed that Madara was in no hurry. Soon, you saw that this was not the case: it happened that your training was not only physical, and there were some things he needed to explain to you.

- As you can imagine, y/n, I had a reason for choosing this hour of the day to bring you here – he started as soon as he had your full attention – There are some things you need to know, not only about the ceremony, but about the treaty between the Uchiha and the other clan, the Todoroki.

Todoroki? You tried to think if you’ve heard about them before. Apparently, no; if it was because they were a minor clan or their name was too common, you weren’t sure.

Madara started to tell you how Izuna left the house still by the night when he brought you to his brother. He was sent on a mission all alone to investigate some facts about the clan that remained obscure even after the two families have determined each one’s part in the treaty; he was expected to return by the end of that day, so that he could be at the wedding. Being the groom’s brother, his absence during the ceremony would look suspicious.

- I do not have enough time to tell you the whole story, so I will just say that we the Uchiha have some story with this clan – he was saying – We and the Todoroki were never exactly friends of each other until some time ago. As I explained to you before, they were never known for producing the best warriors, choosing to focus on erudition, politics and diplomacy instead. This has brought problems as much as advantages for them all over the years. Now, because of the frailty caused by the lack of a proper shinobi army, they were facing difficulties regarding security and were forced to seek for support alongside a stronger clan. Turned out that they came to us. At first I was not willing to make them our allies, for I do not appreciate weakness and for my knowledge about their antipathy for my clan , but even they have their strong traits, so I decided to accept their offer. However, we could not be so ingenuous to think that we did not have to be careful.

A strange glimmering appeared in his eyes after those words, but within a second it was gone. He just continued to speak as if nothing happened.

- This particular clan might not be famous by the power of their shinobi, but their connections and influence over different noble families have been used for any kind of purposes during their story. In other words, they were not to be trusted without question, and held too power in their hands for one to take them lightly. And knowing that they were not allies of the Uchiha since the start, I would not say yes to anything that came from them without gathering some information. I delegated this work to Izuna and other men of my trust. They were in the middle of a complex mission of this nature when the girl who was sent by them to be my wife suddenly disappeared.

F or a moment, Madara didn’t say a word, and the silence around his spot was heavy. You felt like the birds stopped singing at that revelation, and even the breeze was no longer blowing.

- This girl that you are to replace was the Todoroki leader’s daughter – he continued – I believe Izuna never mentioned it to you, but her name was Sachiko. I have met her for the first time during a visit at the family’s property in (…). Judging by what I know from both of you, I can say you have some resemblances in your manners and tone besides the physical appearance, but nothing more than that. She had a talent to handle social situations by herself and was clearly raised by her family to follow the traditional norms. She was ready to perform her role even after marriage , when we would spend time by ourselves and thus have nothing to hide from each other. On the other hand, you, y/n, are more… how can I put it in words?… Well, I hope you do not mind if I use the term wild . You are more wild in a sense that you have nothing but what truly belongs to you. Not the nobleness, nor the rules or the interests o others to be carried on your shoulders. You are gentle, have good manners and has chose honesty as your motivation. This sort of purity is hard to find these days. Allow me to say that I appreciate that. It is something we can use in our favor during the ceremony, but I see that keeping in a role for a long time would wear you out, and then our plans would end up being useless.

You were still getting used to the way Madara stated his thoughts and views, and you could even say you appreciated his peculiar use of words, but somehow you sensed that there would always be something between a sentence and other that would caught you off guard, just like that time: wild would be the last word you’d use to describe yourself, but he managed to find a meaning for it that would fit you and that could only be found in something said by himself.

Another thing that still surprised you was the easiness with which he could change the subjective tone of his conversation to something simple and practical, as he did right after those comments:

- According to what I’ve found out, Sachiko’s disappearance happened during her travel from her own house in order to arrive here. She was meant to spend a few days in my house in preparation for our wedding, while I was going to send some of my shinobi to improve her safety on the road as a part of our families’ treaty. Her family was going to travel right after her. However, she disappeared before my men could reach her group. Of course my first suspicion fell on her clan: there was a possibility that they were planning some betrayal and that the girl’s case was just a distraction from their true intentions. But I had no proof at the time, so I’ve sent some of my men to work beside them in the search. At the same time, Izuna, who just came back from his previous mission, was chosen to investigate the events in secret. And what he found out confirmed some of my suspicions.

So Madara knew more about the girl’s case than you imagined. Of course, he would take some action by himself, being the precautious man he was, but now you found yourself wanting to hear everything he had to tell.

- According to my brother’s research , the girl disappeared in the middle of the night, and things were arranged in a way that it would look like she left by her own choice and didn’t want to be followed. I myself do not understand how something like this could be possible, since she was not a shinobi and thus she could be easily tracked by some of our people. Also, the people who were traveling with her – her servants and some ninjas responsible for her safety – just vanished. If dead or abducted, we could not find out. Izuna and I talked for hours at closed doors, and our conclusion was that if her clan was planning to betray us, they might have tried to forge an excuse to dishonor the treaty .

After saying that, he fell silent for a second, then a strange, low sound came up his throat and caught you off guard. You took a moment to identify it as a laugh, but once you did, you felt some discomfort with the hilarity and the despise in it. You waited for him to explain what was so funny.

- I still find it hard to believe that the Todoroki would be so plain in their action s, that there was not a single person among them who suggested that making the girl disappear in a sudden and unexplained manner would only expose them as the unreliable scum they are? – after staring at you for a second, he raised his eyebrow – I see. Hearing me speak in such terms about my betrothed’s clan is unsettling for you. I understand. But I believe you have heard enough to agree with my statement, or at least with part of it . Their actions just served to ruin their own reputation before the Uchiha and to alert us. And now that we have you, y/n, we have little to worry about.

You didn’t understand why, but something in the way Madara smiled at you made you froze.

- Once they lay their eyes on you, we the Uchiha will know exactly if they were treacherous and how much. Whatever the case, they will have to keep their mouths shut and to cooperate.

Soon he abandoned his relaxed position at the grass ground and stood on his feet. He looked down at you and you saw that the smile was still there. You understood it as a sign for you to stand up too. You started to do it, but apparently you weren’t fast enough, for you sensed a shadow stopping beside you, getting you on your feet; when you looked up, you found Madara close to you, his arm around your waist. You took a deep breath and told yourself that it was better if you get used to not be able to follow his moves with your eyes.

- So… our only preoccupation for now is to finish our training – he approached his lips to your ear – And to make sure you will be ready.

[aetm-malereaderimagines]

Can I request one for Haikyuu where Hinata shows up to practice disheveled and late...even more than usual so the team decides to follow him to see that he has a boyfriend (who’s actually shorter than him). Sorry if this doesn’t seem that good but thanks anyway for reading this. :)

Howcould you even think your request isn’t good?! It’s perfect! Itwas so fun for me to write since I myself am taller than most ofKarasuno guys – itwas something I would have never thought about writing myself :D I’msorry if it isn’t as good as you expected, I’m having kind of aslump right now. That’s why I closed the requests for now—I’llprobably open them again once I finish writing all the request I havein my inbox now. Anyways, I hope you’ll still enjoy this shortscenario and maybe send in another interesting request sometime inthe future!

Pairing: Hinata Shōyō x Male Reader

Word count: 1865

隠しきれぬもの — What You Can Never Hide

 “Where the hell is Hinata?!”

The atmosphere in the gym was heavy as a mountain. If you found yourself anywhere in the five-meter radius of Daichi, you would probably feel the dark miasma seep into your lungs and penetrate your veins. That is probably why no one even tried to approach Daichi, keeping their distance from the angry captain.

As much as Daichi looked angry on the outside, on the inside, he was actually more surprised than angry. Everyone was surprised, truth be told. It wasn’t uncommon for Hinata to be late to classes. It wasn’t uncommon for him to forget his homework. It wasn’t uncommon for him to get lost on his way home. But he never skipped practice—not without notifying anyone about it.

It was all the stranger that it wasn’t even the morning practice—in that case, Daichi would be worried that he had gotten lost in the mountains or something. But it was the afternoon practice and Hinata was perfectly fine just about half an hour ago in class. According to Kageyama, he had rushed out of the classroom as soon as the bell had rung and had been nowhere to be found afterwards.

“Calm down, Daichi, he’ll be here in no time!” said Suga, the only person bold enough to get close enough to Daichi to pat him on the shoulder. Besides, it turned out he was right.

Just as Suga finished saying those words, the door to the gym was smashed open and a ball of flaring orange rushed in.

“I’m… sorry… I’m… late…” Hinata promptly apologized, panting.

The panting wasn’t the only thing the team noticed about Hinata, though. There definitely was something off.

Hinata’s hair was always in disarray but this time, it somehow managed to be even more tousled than usually. The belt in his pants was barely buckled, his shirt wasn’t even properly buttoned up and his face was all red—a little bit too red, even if he had run all the way here.

“What took you so long?” asked Daichi, trying to keep his cool—which wasn’t actually that hard. He felt strangely relieved. If Hinata hadn’t come to the practice, Daichi felt like his world would have been turned upside down. Hinata foregoing his training was something that just didn’t fit in Daichi’s world anymore.

“I, uhm, I got stuck in the toilet,” Hinata answered looking away to the side, not meeting Daichi’s eyes. Daichi wasn’t exactly satisfied with Hinata’s answer but before he could inquire anymore, the second-years arrived.

“Your stomach acting up again?” Nishinoya asked, bumping his shoulder against Hinata’s.

“What the hell did you eat this time?” Tanaka followed with a smirk, his hands on his hips, leaning in to see Hinata’s face while Hinata was doing his best to avert his gaze.

“I don’t know… Might have been something I ate yesterday… I don’t remember…” he mumbled.

Daichi frowned. Hinata clearly wasn’t acting weird. He was late to practice, he wasn’t being his usual cheery self, he was all disheveled and dodgy about what he’d been doing… This needed further investigation.

But not now.

“Just leave him be,” Daichi said to Tanaka and Nishinoya. “We’ve already lost too much time. Let’s start the practice. And you,” he turned to Hinata, “go get changed. Why the hell would you come to the gym in your school uniform?”

“Roger!” Hinata exclaimed, happy to get out of the interrogation. He rushed out of the gym to grab his training clothes from the club room while everyone started warming up.

Daichi was curious. But his curiosity had to wait.

It turned out Daichi wasn’t the only one curious.

The moment the practice came to its end, Hinata excused himself and rushed out of the gym without any additional training or even helping to clean up. No one tried to stop him—everyone was just too suspicious of his unusual behavior to say a word.

Daichi was looking at Hinata go when Tanaka came up to him.

“Daichi-san, Daichi-san! Don’t you think Hinata’s been acting strange today? Don’t you wanna find out what’s going on?” Tanak said with a smirk on his face. He was clearly onto something.

“I am. But if Hinata doesn’t want to talk, how else can we find out what’s going on?” answered Daichi, his arms crossed on his chest.

“It’s simple! We’ll tail him!” Nishinoya cut in with a smirk to match Tanaka’s and Daichi let out a sigh.

“Normally, I would never agree but in this situation…” he trailed off, looking around, finally lying his eyes on Sugawara. “Suga! Go with them and keep an eye on them!”

“Roger!” Suga, who had been listening to Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Daichi’s conversation anyways, agreed right away. “I was going to tag along anyways!” He admitted.

And so they dispatched. They managed to catch up to Hinata by the school gate and followed him from there, keeping their distance. Hinata was in a hurry and looked straight ahead most of the time so they didn’t really have to hide even once on their way but they had to be careful not to lose sight of him.

“Where do you think he’s going?” Tanaka asked, watching Hinata go past Sakanoshita Store without stopping even once, trotting down the hill.

“Well, he’s certainly not going home,” Sugawara answered, giving a small bow to Ukai Coach’s mother as they passed the store themselves. “He left his bike at school and I doubt he’d try to cross the mountains on foot. He’s not that stupid.”

They went by Tama Mart and Takinoue Electronics, leaving the town center behind and arriving at the foot of the mountains surrounding Karasuno but Hinata kept walking. A few more minutes went by before a torii gate came into their view. At this sight, Hinata quickened his pace, running up to the gate as fast as he could. It was then that Suga noticed there was someone standing by the gate. He gestured toward Tanaka and Nishinoya to hide around the corner.

There was a boy standing by the torii, at the foot of the stairs leading to the shrine. He was fiddling with his hair although he stopped and his face lit up when he saw Hinata running up to him. He was even shorter than Shōyō and if he wasn’t wearing Karasuno’s uniform Suga would think he was a middle school student at best.

Hinata ran up to the boy, visibly exhilarated, although Suga couldn’t hear what they were talking about from this distance. He could, however, see that Hinata, after quickly looking around to make sure there was no one in the vicinity, greeted him with a kiss.

A lot of things ran through Suga’s head at that moment but what made his heart skip a beat was the fear of Tanaka and Nishinoya’s reaction. He quickly shook the shock off and looked to the side where the two second-years had been standing but they weren’t already there. He jumped out from behind the corner and saw Tanaka and Nishinoya running up to Hinata and his boyfriend with an ungodly speed. He followed them immediately.

“Tanaka, Nishinoya, don’t you dare…” But he was already too late.

“Why the hell do you have a boyfriend and I don’t?!” Tanaka charged into Hinata and crushed the poor boy with his arm, wrapping it around his shoulder and pulling him towards himself, ruffling Hinata’s hair playfully with the other. Nishinoya quickly followed the example set by his friend jumping onto Hinata with a loud “Why didn’t you introduce him to us earlier?!”

Sugawara was pleasantly surprised. Given the second-years’ rowdy personalities, he wouldn’t be surprised if they said something they shouldn’t.

Relieved, he turned to the shorter boy.

“It’s the first time we’ve met, right? I’m Sugawara Kōshi, vice-captain of the volleyball club. These two rascals are also our members, Tanaka and Nishinoya. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you.” Hinata’s boyfriend seemed a little surprised but he gathered himself together quite quickly. “I’m Y/N, Hinata’s boyfriend.”

Meanwhile, Hinata was screaming internally in dismay.

“Why are you telling them, Y/N-kun?! I’m not gonna hear the end of it now!” cried Hinata.

You shrugged.

“It’s you who kissed me in public. I mean, I don’t mind it, I’m just saying it’s not my fault.”

“I’m really sorry for these two,” continued Suga, pointing to Tanaka and Nishinoya. “We didn’t mean to disrupt your… date?” he adding questioningly.

“Yeah, we were going to pray at the shrine so we can win the next match and then go for a date,” Hinata said dejectedly, deciding it was pointless to lie at this point. His teammates didn’t seem to mind anyways.

“Why are you making your boyfriend pray for you?!” Tanaka elbowed Hinata, making him flinch.

“Y/N said he wanted to pray for me too!” Hinata excused himself.

“I did,” you confirmed. And you really did. If there was anything you could do to help your boyfriend, you wanted to do it, even if it was just praying at a small shrine in the mountains.

“Why don’t we go together then?” Nishinoya suggested and everyone’s eyes turned to him. Tanaka’s face lit up.

“Let’s do this!” the bald boy exclaimed. “Nice idea, Noya! I mean, it’s not like we need gods’ help but it won’t hurt, right?”

“You’re gonna come with us?!” Your face lit up and Hinata felt a clutch in his chest. To him, you were the cutest in this world and he couldn’t help but melt whenever he saw you smile. “I’ve been wanting to meet Hinata’s teammates for ages but he just wouldn’t let me!” You added.

“That’s right, Shōyō! Why didn’t you introduce us?!” Noya asked.

“I… I didn’t know how you’d react…” Hinata said sheepishly.

“What are you talking about?” Tanaka tilted his head, genuinely bewildered. “Oh, you mean that he’s shorter than you? I was surprised at first, like, how can anyone be shorter than Hinata! You know? But jeez, who cares! Let’s just go and pray!” he added and started climbing the stairs; Nishinoya followed him, gesturing to Sugawara to do the same.

You smiled to yourself. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t at all worried about how Hinata’s teammates would react to you two dating. But now that it all actually got out, it turned out you hadn’t had anything to worry about in the first place.

Hinata pulled your hand.

“I’m sorry it had to be like this. I wanted to spend some time alone with you,” he whispered into your ear.

You smiled and pulled him into a hug.

“I don’t mind it. I’m sure it’ll be fun. Those Tanaka and Nishinoya seem like fun people and Sugawara-san looks really kind. Besides, we can spend some time alone together at night.”

Hinata pulled away.

“Anyways! Let’s go! The sempais are waiting for us!” he said and started climbing the stairs. You decided to follow him. Nishinoya was waving at you from up the stairs.

You couldn’t see Hinata’s face from behind but you could tell he was blushing. He was red up to the tips of his ears.

[peachymarkeu]

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: NCT 127 x OC

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: Fluff, Angst & Suggestive

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: What is it like being an 18 year old girl that had just moved into her new apartment and then suddenly meeting the people she would consider to be her brothers while being away from her parents?

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 4: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓘 𝓝𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓮𝓭

Kringg...Kringg...Kring…

‘Uh- the hell is that sound, can’t you see I’m sleeping’ I thought.

The ringing sound stopped for a while so I continued sleeping peacefully until.

Kringg…Kringg... Kring…

‘Oh come on again.’ I thought in my sleep again.

Once again the ringing stopped and I went back to sleep again.

Kringg....Kringg...Kringg… 

“Aish what is that sound.” I said while looking for my phone on the nightstand.

I was pushing stuff off the stand until I found my phone. When I got it I realized that it was the one that was making the loud ringing noise.

“Agh- I was sleeping so well then I heard this aish. The hell its only ei-” I cut my rambling once I saw the details on my phone.

January 8, 2021 | Monday | 8:30 am

‘Shit, I’m LATE!’

I got up as quickly as I could and went straight to the bathroom. Since I’m already so late there was no time to take a shower and fix my hair and stuff. All I did was brush my teeth, comb my hair and started to put on my uniform. After putting on my uniform I went out of the bathroom and went straight to my front door to put on my shoes. I didn’t bother getting breakfast at this point, I can just eat something in the cafeteria. After putting on my shoes I got my school bag, coat and keys and went out of my apartment. Once I got out I saw Auntie Minjie getting ready to go out, to the grocery i guess since she there was a little shopping stroller beside her.

“Oh good morning Yuna!” Auntie Minjie Greeted me.

“Good morning Auntie Minjie! Sorry I really need to go now I'm super late for school!” I told her while running backwards towards the elevator.

“Have a good day and travel safe!” she told me while waving.

“Thank you! You too!” I yelled back still while running.

I was near the elevator and saw the doors slowly closing. 

“WAIT!” I yelled and put my hand in between the doors before it closed so that It wouldn’t close.

I got inside and leaned on the elevator walls. The ground floor button was already pressed so I didn’t have to worry about that anymore. I closed my eyes while trying to catch my breath from all the running.

‘Ugh, what way to start the week’ I thought to myself

My hair was covering my face which was why I couldn’t really see whoever was inside the elevator as well. I didn’t even care who was inside. The only thing in my mind was getting to school before the bell rings. I checked the time using my phone and saw 8;45 am flashed on my screen. This was a huge problem. Still need to learn how to get to my school from my apartment. I hit my head 3 times and tried to compose a plan before getting off the elevator.

‘Ok so I’ll search for the directions on my phone, make a run for it and pray that I’ll be able to get to school on time.’ I formulated my plan in my head.

I opened my navigation app and placed my location and the school’s location. I loaded real quickly so I saw the calculations and directions for me to get to my school. It said that it was a 30 minute walk to my school from my apartment so if I run to school I might get there twice as fast and half the time. 

Once the elevator doors opened I sprinted out the elevator and the building. I kept running while looking at my phone for the directions. I was halfway to my school until I tripped and scraped my knees. I saw that my shoes were untied. I guess I didn’t notice them getting untied while I was running.

“Aish you’re so stupid Yuna. You should’ve double tied your shoes so that this wouldn't have happened now you’re wasting time.” I said, talking to myself like a crazy person.

I got up again and checked my phone for the directions. I checked the time and it read 8:55 am. I only had 5 minutes left. I ran as fast as I could until I reached my school. When I arrived I was already 10 minutes late for class. I sprinted up the stairs up until the 3rd floor. I arrived at my classroom and opened the sliding door forcefully which made a loud noise. Every head in the classroom turned to me including the teacher.

“Kim Yuna late.” the teacher announced to the class.

“I’m sorry sir I woke up late this morning and-” I rambled.

“I don’t care about your excuses so go and take your seat. You’ve already disturbed the class.” the teacher snapped at me. 

I bowed to him still as a sign of respect and quietly proceeded to my seat. As I walked across the room all eyes were still on me. Classmates of mine were whispering at each other and were chuckling while looking at me. I must’ve looked like such a wreck. I felt so humiliated that I kept my head down while walking. When I reached my empty seat, I saw my elementary friend, Lee Sungho sitting beside it.

“Hey Yuna, you alright…?” he asked me carefully.

Before I could answer him the teacher cut me.

“So what were we discussing before I was rudely interrupted by your classmate Miss Kim Yuna?” he said, emphasising the word rudely as if he was rubbing it on my face.

I heard a few of my classmates laughing before the teacher continued with his lesson. I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life that tears were brimming my eyes. I felt Sungho tap my shoulder lightly as a sign of comfort. I looked at him and gave him a small smile, assuring him that I was alright. After that I tried my best to focus on the discussion while  restricting myself from letting my tears fall.

*School Chime Ring*

“Class Dismissed. Everyone may now step out of the classroom except for Ms. Kim Yuna” the teacher said while fixing his things on his desk.

‘Well shit’ I thought to myself.

“Yuna-yah, I’ll wait for you outside,” Sungho told me. I bowed to him as an acknowledgment as he strutted out the classroom.

Slowly, I walked to the front of the classroom to Mr. Park’s table. He was fixing some papers on his desk when he lifted his head and looked at me very sternly.

“Miss Kim, I am quite disappointed with you. You are close to failing my class then I see you come to class 15 minutes late.” he said in a very strict manner.

“I’m sorry” I said, bowing my head.

“You are in your senior year. You know that grades are very important to pass your college. You better study and get your grades up. I don’t want to see you coming to class late again. If you continue to have bad grades, say goodbye to entering college because there is no way I will be passing you in my class.” Mr. Park said while grabbing his things and stepping out of the classroom.

I was left alone in the classroom with tears streaming down my face. As I felt them cascading down, I rubbed them off using the back of my hand. I got my things and went outside to meet Sungho who was waiting for me.

“Yah, you alright?” Sungho asked me. His face was full of concern.

“Hm… I’m alright.” I said hiding my sadness with a small smile.

We proceeded to go to the cafeteria for lunch. When we got there, students were lined up, some were even cutting in line just to get what they wanted. Sungho and I waited patiently in line. He sparked up a conversation about his funny experience during his soccer training yesterday. I laughed at all his stories which made my mood become better until.

“Yah move” she said in a very annoyed tone. She cut in line and was now infront of me.

Gwan Aeri. The girl who seems to be so annoyed with me everytime. I don’t know why she’s so annoyed with me since I never did anything to her. Plus, she’s my number one bully. She would push me around, embarrass me and all that stupid stuff. Good thing she wasn’t in Mr. Park’s class. If she was, I would be suffering a lot by now.

I saw her getting her food already so Sungho and I got our trays and started to get food as well. She didn’t get much only bread and milk. I saw her open the milk carton and turn towards me. She bumped me intentionally and “accidentally” spilled her milk on me. My uniform top was drenched in milk.

“Oops, sorry.” Aeri said to me without any sincerity.

All the students inside the cafeteria were looking at me. Some were whispering, somewhere chuckling at me again. Sungho took off his jacket and put it on my shoulders to cover me up. Tears were pricking my eyes again from the second time I got humiliated. I continued to get my food with Sungho. Sungho thought that it was better to eat out in the schoolyard rather than inside the cafeteria. We ate in silence. Sungho would sometimes spark up a conversation but I really wasn’t up to talk at that moment.

After lunch, classes continued and I really was not in the mood to listen to the teachers. I would sometimes doodle, stare at something or just zone out. The day miraculously ended really fast and I went home right away. I felt so physically and mentally drained. While walking home, pain from my scraped knee was now there so every step, there was always this stinging sensation. 

I got home and entered the elevator. No one was inside so I sat down on the floor and let my tears fall freely. I hated this day. First I came in late while I scraped my knee, I got scolded and got milk poured all over me. I was completely done for today. When I entered my apartment I dropped my bag and went straight to bed, ignoring the huge amount of assignments I needed to accomplish, and took a really long nap.

I woke up and looked outside my window and saw that it was already dark. The nap helped me recharge physically but I was still tired mentally. I didn’t know what got into me but I found myself going to the building's veranda and just enjoying the city’s view. To be honest, this was the most relaxing part of my day. I was drowning myself in the city’s noise and view until I heard the door to the veranda open. I was ready to tackle this person down but was then surprised to see who was there.

“Oh, Yuna-yah annyeong!” Taeil Oppa said.

“Taeil Oppa annyeong!” I said back less nervous knowing that we’ve already met.

He sat beside me while looking at the view. We both enjoyed the silence until he spoke up.

“How was your day? I saw you sprinting out the elevator this morning.” he said while I was shocked.

“H-how di-” 

“I was the one inside the elevator with you. Didn’t know that you didn't notice me. I was about to call out to you until you ran out once the doors opened.” he said to me which made me remember everything that happened that day again. Tears were brimming my eyes again and Taeil Oppa took notice of it while staring at my face. Before I could answer his question earlier he spoke again.

“You know, whenever I feel down or frustrated I would always come up here and relax to let out everything.” he said and I looked at him. He was looking out into the horizon while speaking then his eyes were back to me.

“You don’t have to keep it to yourself. You don’t have to stop yourself from crying. You can let it all out.” he said in the softest voice. 

With this, tears fell down my cheeks nonstop. Taeil Oppa pulled me to his chest and hugged me tightly and I cried my heart out. I cried for a while but he never let me go. When I stopped crying and had already collected myself Taeil Oppa spoke again.

“I hope you feel better now since you’ve let it all out.” he said and smiled at me and I smiled back.

“Thank you Oppa.” I said to him while still smiling.

“You know it's getting quite chilly already. How about we go to our apartment and we’ll have some ramen.” he said.

“I-uh thank you for the offer but don’t want to disturbed you guys.” I said trying to politely decline but he still insisted.

“ No, no it's alright, we’ve got the day off tomorrow so it's no problem.” he said.

“We’ll if it won't be a problem to you guys” I said

“Ok lezgetit” he said in a high tone which made me giggle.

We both went to the door and he opened it for me. I went inside and he followed.

‘That was the comfort that I needed’

[project-rosewood-476]

Chapter 2 part 1 Of Every Rose Has Its Thorns is out now! the AU and some of the ideas and characters belong to @creepypasta-shtick and Maplehood Creek, Rosewood, and Tabby Anderson belong to me.

TW: character death, mentions of blood and gore

Tabby was always an early bird due to her stepdad getting her up at 5 in the morning. Also with Rosewood starting at 7:45 am. But she slept through until 7-8 in the morning. Tabby woke up and stretched and winced at her bruises. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes confused. This wasn't her house. This wasn't her room...then last nights events came rushing back to her

"So it wasn't a dream after all... and I'm alive...I survived my first night in this strange new world. One day down and another one to go" she said in thought. she grinned as the new reality set in.

"I'm free...of my stepdad, Rosewood, and Horacio!" She said in thought also she let out a quiet giggle to herself.

She got out of the bed and put her knives on the nightstand for now. She took a good look at herself in the mirror. Her red-brown hair turned into a messy low ponytail with a couple of wavy strands that were out. That was due to the tossing and turning in her sleep. She still had dark circles under her eyes and they still appeared to be sunken back slightly. But they had that spark of life back in them again. But you can never catch up on lost sleep. She fell asleep in her clothes from yesterday but she'll change today. She really had no use for PJs she only used them on occasion. Her older bruises were almost completely faded away and her new ones started the healing process. Pretty soon all there would be was the scars from her old life and new bruises and cuts from training and missions and stuff. Hopefully less than what she has now.

She quickly got dressed in a long-sleeved white shirt and blue jeans to cover up the scars and bruises. She was more clear-minded than she was last night. No one else needed to see her bruises and scars and think that she's weak and sickly. She put on her shoes and went out of her bedroom and into the kitchen.

Toby has done a lot for her in one night. It was only fair to return the favor. The least she could do is cook him breakfast. She looked in the fridge and saw some eggs. She took out the carton and put it on the counter. She saw some bread laying about too and saw a toaster.

"Perfect!" She thought to herself.

She looked around for a frying pan, plates, and utensils. It took her a while to find the stuff in the kitchen but she made her way around and made very little noise as possible. And was humming a song that she knew to herself. She put the two pieces of bread in the toaster and started making the eggs for herself first.

Toby was still kind of groggy but he pulled himself up and yawned. It took him a little while to get used to being awake so he waited for a bit before turning off his radio. He went up to go to the bathroom. He had several wounds he needed to make sure stayed clean after all. After cleaning himself up, he figured he should go out and get the newspaper or something. He knew that after a couple of weeks he would have a huge mission that would involve putting on a fake identity and infiltrating a school, which he was not looking forward to. He was incredibly anxious about it. From the bathroom, he could hear a knock on the front door. Oh right. He had locked it. It was probably Jane and she had probably finished Tabby's mask that night.

Tabby put her eggs and toast on a plate and went to answer the front door. She unlocked it and opened the door a little bit. warily and cautiously.

Jane had left the box on the front door. It was a nice-looking box. It could be easily opened. She had stayed up all night doing the mask.

Tabby opened the door wider and cautiously picked up the box. She eyed it suspiciously. She decided to leave it on the table and decided to wait for Toby to come out so she wouldn't be alone while opening it just in case it could be a trap.

Tabby began to eat her breakfast. She kept eyeing the box in a mixture of suspicion and curiosity. She wanted to open it badly but decided that she knew better than to open it by herself as Jane's words echoed through her head from last night.

'Don't trust gifts that are given to you even if they're given by people you know, there are a lot of backstabbers here'.

She continued to wait patiently.

Toby came outside the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen. He saw Tabby and the box.

"Oh. That looks like the box Jane uses to deliver masks." He stared plainly.

He went to the fridge and began rifling through it. Jane's boxes always looked distinct to show that they carried masks that she had made her own.

"Oh you don't have to rummage through the fridge," she said in between bites "I was going to make you some eggs as a sort of a thank you. But then I realized that I don't know how you like your eggs...or even if you like eggs...I also didn't know if you were like me in needing to watch your food being made to make sure it's not poisoned. So I waited before I did anything."

"But if you do like eggs how do you like them? I could make you some..." she said a little shyly as she looked down and went to open the box.

She opened the box slowly and warily. She took out the mask and inspected it. It was a pretty teal with golden spirals branching out from one another and at some angles, the gold glittered in the light. She checked the inside of the mask and smiled to herself when she saw the names of the people she lost engraved inside. She put it on and looked at Toby.

"Oh, it's okay. I'm the type of person who likes taking care of myself." Toby explained.

He had needed to make his own breakfast since he was 8, and a change from routine would just feel somewhat alien. He thanked her for her offer though. He turned when he felt the air somewhat shift and saw that she had put on her mask.

"Oh, that looks great. Does it feel okay? Natural?" He asked. He got out some leftover breakfast from the day before and went to heat it up.

"Fair enough," she said.

She understood not wanting to rely on others since she has been neglected since she was 4 so she had to learn how to do the basics of taking care of herself.

"It feels weird at first but I'll get used to it" she put the mask in her box and went to pick up the eggs and put them back in the fridge.

She finished up the last bit of her egg sandwich that she made and went to do up her little bit of dishes. She unwrapped her left hand so the bandages can stay clean and dry. You could see the surgical incisions that were made to get the glass out. The scars were in that in-between stage of old and fresh. Her hand was healed but you can tell that the doctors didn't set it right as it looked out of place.

Toby nodded.

"It will feel weird at first but soon you'll freak out seeing yourself without it."

He wanted to make the transition into this new life as painless as possible. He remembered being incredibly freaked out at the beginning. He noticed her hand. Oh, man. EJ would lose his shit 'seeing' the work done on that hand. Toby thanked her for doing her dishes.

"By the way, you said you wanted to go to the library today?" Toby said. "While we're out, I could sort of show you around if you want. A lot of your first missions will be fetch and deliver, so it's nice to know where to go." He was finishing up his breakfast.

"Yeah I did say that and it would be nice to know my way around. I mean I'm going to be on my own at some point so yeah"

She dried off her hands and notice that he was looking at her damaged hand.

"Yeah I know it's not a pretty picture. Reason number 1025 of why I hate and don't trust doctors. They can't do their damn jobs right" she gave him a bitter smile.

"So your mission was fairly riskless huh?" She raised an eyebrow as she nodded towards his injuries "I do hope you took care of them properly" she gently re-wrapped her hand in the bandages.

Toby nodded.

"Yeah, you will be. Once you finish training, the boss will give you a new place." He said. "I'll show you around, introduce you to a few people." He said.

"I understand the sentiment about doctors though, but for me it's therapists. My therapist knew I was abused and, as a mandated reporter, didn't call CPS for me." He said.

He knew there were competent doctors and therapists, but that didn't change his experiences.

At her comment, he nodded. "They're just small cuts and bruises. Come from running through the woods." He said.

"Same. I hated therapists too. I've been through 7 psychiatrists. My parents believed that I was delusional and paranoid because they didn't believe me about my horror stories at Rosewood. My therapists didn't believe anything I said about Rosewood or about how my stepdad abused me but left the rest of my family out of it" she gave him the finger guns and another bitter smile but she looked like she just wanted to die.

Toby nodded. "I got a therapist after my sister died. I still remember her. She was this older woman, about the same age as my mom and she always had this fake, vacant smile. It used to piss me off." He said.

He understood.

"They used my mental illness to totally discredit what I saw and what I said happened to me. She tried to have me involuntarily committed."

Toby shrugged a bit while clearing his dishes.

"I've thought about killing her, honestly, but I figured it wasn't really worth it." He said, starting the water

"But they did manage to diagnose me correctly on OCD, Anxiety, PTSD, and Paranoia which all had to do with Rosewood and my stepdad but not for the reasons that they thought. We're probably missing a few others since they can't diagnose me fully correctly", stated Tabby.

"I understand," Toby said.

He finished cleaning up his dishes. He already was dressed for the day and was still wearing his mouth guard and goggles. He put on his gloves.

"You ready to go in a bit?" He asked.

"Honestly they're just doing it to get paid and not caring how they do it" "I've thought about killing my stepdad and I would have if it was just my mom and not...someone else involved...", she trailed off and looked away.

"Well, I killed my dad," Toby said with a shrug.

"And I let my mom find the body." He put his dishes away.

"I feel like my life would be so much different if I had actually had a decent therapist. I know they're out there and I'm just so pissed that I got a shitty one. If I had one that actually cared, I probably would still be human."

"Lucky you. I would have done the same but I never had the luxury to be selfish. This is the first time I actually put myself first"

She knew that wasn't entirely true either. She would have gladly let masky and hoodie kill her. She wouldn't even have had to put up a fight. But toby was the one who spared her life and he did it for a reason. She promised herself that she would stay alive for him so his efforts wouldn't go in vain. It wouldn't be fair to him if she died. On top of her promises to kill Horacio and avenge her friends. But he doesn't need to know that.

"Yeah I'll be ready to go in a few minutes I just need to brush my hair and teeth real quick." She said not ignoring his previous statement.

Tabby went to her room to get her things and went into the bathroom to do her thing. She came out with a neater-looking ponytail. She grabbed the box and headed back to her room to put her things away. She then came back out wearing her thick red plaid jacket that she always wore with her gray hood up and put her new mask on.

"I'm ready to go"

Toby nodded. "Alright. Let's go." He said. He was in his usual attire. It was worn, but clean.

"Do you want to go to the library first, or would you like me to show you around first?"

"I would like to go to the library first please if that's okay. Afterward, it will give us time for you to show me around and meet a few people", said Tabby.

"Okay, that works. There are some things that you'll want to know about the library through." Toby explained.

Tabby paused for a minute "Which are?" She trailed off.

"Well, the librarians are all disgraced proxies and monsters as well as retired proxies," Toby said.

"And usually you're not supposed to talk to the librarians unless it's for something strictly about the library. However, the librarians are very smart and have very large comprehensive knowledge over things."

Tabby nodded slowly in understanding "okay I got it. I don't usually talk to anyone in general"

"If you get on their good side, they'll defend you though," Toby said. "A lot of stuff can go down at the library."

She snorted "doesn't surprise me"

She had a mini flashback to the library at Rosewood. She was a bookworm and the library was the least sinister place in the school. Even though it too carried its own dark secrets of Rosewood. Libraries were considered sacred and neutral ground at Rosewood.

Toby knew of a proxy who had gotten beaten to death in the library. The library was usually quiet but sometimes could get very messy. He held the door for her. It was good practice to say goodbye to the desk lady before they left.

"Is that all?" She asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. Would you like me to stay there with you?", he asked.

"Yes, please. Two is better than one right?"

She mentally cursed herself for saying yes. She had to prove to him at some point that she could take care of herself and hold her own. But she didn't want to be left in this strange new world that was day 2 for her. Especially around strangers who wouldn't hesitate to kill her if given the chance. If she had someone with her the chances of that happening would be slim to none. And she was taught from a young age that you never go anywhere alone. Especially in Maplehood unless you had to.

"Survival reasons", she told him to justify herself, "I'm fresh meat as it is and curiosity about the new girl is inevitable. I'm crippled and small and I would be alone which means it would be easy for someone to kill me without a second thought. I'm young, not stupid so it's better to go with someone and only go alone if I absolutely have to".

She babbled on her reasoning to him and she was getting defensive about it because she didn't want him to think that she was a little bitch that can't take care of herself.

Toby understood. She didn't need to justify herself to him, he understood.

"Hey, it really is okay. I'll just sit nearby and maybe chat to a few people." Toby was decently popular.

"Okay… can we go now?" She asked.

"Yeah," Toby said. He moved to let her out of the apartment.

[hadenodom-stories]

Clair’s Voyage, Part 1

Clair woke up in a cold sweat.  There was no light breaking through her open window, and her heavy dark Navy curtains made no noise as they wavered in the summer wind.  It was the 5th of July, and she was freaking out.  Have you ever had a dream that stays on your mind and colors your mood for an entire day?  Clair had just endured the second such dream in as many nights.

Regardless of the dread her dream had instilled in her, she knew she had to get up and moving.  Yesterday's dream had nearly sapped her of all of her energy, and her friend Elaine had noticed at the neighborhood 4th of July cookout.  "I've never seen you in such a foul mood", she'd remarked.  She couldn't let that happen today.  She had a very important interview, and her entire future potentially hinged on it.  She couldn't be in a dour, depressed state -- 'Then I'll have to fake a smile', she thought, 'and I'm absolute shit at that'.  

Despite a grim determination to force herself into a better mood, she found herself dwelling on the previous day's events as she trudged through the hallways of her quiet house towards the kitchen.  By the time she was sitting down, her head full of frizzy auburn hair slumped forward beholding the sight of a depressing bowl of some "healthy" cereal that'd been sitting in the cupboards well past its expiration date, her mind was busy replaying  and reliving the most traumatic part of that day.  The part that she'd seen before in a nightmare just hours before it happened in real life.  The part of the day that was at first clouded in a sense of Déjà vu -- a surreal "I've seen all of these events, in this exact order, before..." sense -- until it burst into traumatic realness.  The pops and whizzes of fireworks zooming into the sky.  The cheers of the neighborhood kids as one particularly bright, low, and loud firecracker exploded.  Her younger brother looking at her with a cheeky "watch this" expression as he prepared to light a cobbled-together collection of old fireworks that he'd taped together and put into a small pipe to launch.  His uncomprehending, still-excited face as the spark ran along the fuse far too fast and the pipe began to tilt back towards him.  The flash and screams afterwards.  And everything going black once she saw the blood and exposed bone.  Once she realized how bad it might be...

She neatly placed her spoon back on the table and stood up.  'No way I can fucking eat now', she thought.  As she walked out onto the back patio and tossed the now-soggy cereal out into the yard for the local cats to enjoy, she remembered her mom's instructions:

"Look, go home.  Just go home.  You heard the doctor, honey.  He's going to be alright.  They're doing their best.  We won't be able to see him for quite a while.  I'll stay here for now.  Just go home and sleep in your own bed.  Get you mind off of it and come back when you're able."

Clair slammed the patio door shut behind her, furious now.  She understood that her mother wasn't exactly a master of emotional understanding or empathy, but how could she be so fucking stupid?  How could her mom just think that she'd be able to go home and be comfortable knowing her brother was in surgery, having seen what happened to him?  'I'm an adult now, but goddamn, how do I even process this on my own?  How do I just move on with my life?  How can she expect me to just go home, forget all about it, and then get ready for this interview?"

She continued to ruminate and curse her mother's lack of empathy - or at least the kind of empathy Clair expected - as she lazily got ready for her interview.  It was only 5 AM and her interview wasn't until 9, but there wasn't anything else to do and she certainly couldn't go back to sleep.  She was going to put on a frightfully awful dress - she hated dresses - with a pair of shiny black businesslike pumps - which she also loathed - and apply more makeup than usual, and then go spend a couple of hours at the hospital trying to get an update on her brother's situation.  'I'll go ahead and let mom know that I can't handle this on my own while I'm there', she thought.  'She won't care, but I'll let her know'

In her old, grey Civic hatchback with the paint peeling, she barely focused on the road or on driving.  The static-filled dulcet tones of an NPR reporter reciting headlines momentarily calmed her, but she wasn't processing any of the words.  She was just busy thinking of what she could remember from last night's dream.  It was a mess - all she could remember was some boy she barely recognized (but couldn't place) talking to her mother, and her mother suddenly displaying more emotion than Clair had ever seen from her - but she still wasn't able to actually identify the emotion her mother was feeling in the dream.  Something like shock - or confusion - or betrayal - or all of those.  Clair tried in vain to figure out who the boy in the dream was - his face looked very familiar, but she couldn't remember where, other than the dream, she'd seen him. And as for what emotion her mother had been reacting with or what the boy had been telling her mother, she was at a complete loss.  Her eyes flashed upon a sign and her brakes squealed.  Lost in thought, she'd almost missed the exit for the hospital.

The hospital was a tiny rural hospital on the edge of town, a decaying building full of old doctors and young underpaid nurses, kept alive on a shoestring budget despite the exorbitant prices it charged you for the simple privilege of remaining alive.  Clair was sure that her mom wasn't ready for any of the financial burden her brother had just incurred -- at least not on the meager retirement checks and alimony they'd subsisted on since her dad had left.  Walking into the main waiting room, she was mentally prepared to hit her mom hard with three questions:  "How is he?", "When can I see him?", and "You're not going to make me stay at the house by myself for another night".  The last one wasn't a question, but she expected, at the very least, her mother's acknowledgement.  Instead, she was met by the face from her dream - the unfamiliar boy - walking out of an empty waiting room.  She couldn't help but stop in her tracks and stare at him.  "You're Micheal's sister, right?", the boy said, seemingly unphased by her glare.  "Yes", she finally managed to respond.  "He's not here anymore", the boy replied.  

"What?"

"They took him to a hospital in Jacksonville.  He's stable.  Your mom didn't call you and tell you?"

"No..."

"Oh, well.  They left about 30 minutes ago.  He's stable, but your mom's kind of a wreck.  I stayed to meet up with his friend Lisa who wants to ride with me to Jacksonville.  He's going to go into another surgery to try to save his face and they said he'll probably be ready for visitors by later tonight."

'This is absurd', Clair thought.  'How can this random boy know more about my brother's situation than me.  How could my mom be so detached as to not tell me any of this?  And I'll be goddamned if anyone's going to finally visit my brother's hospital room before me'

"You can ride with us if you'd like", the boy offered.

"No, thanks, I actually have to drive to Jacksonville this morning anyways.  I have an interview at 9..."

"Say no more... I guess I'll see you there"

With that, the boy walked past her.  She turned and followed him outside.  "So... who are you?"

"Oh, we've met before I think.  I'm Cavill, Micheal's... we're friends.  I've been here since last night worried sick about him.  I guess your mom wanted you to be home so you wouldn't worry yourself sick like her."

"Fat lot of good that did", Clair replied drearily.  "And yeah, we have met... Micheal just never bothers to introduce his friends to us.  I guess he gets that from mom, the habit of keeping everyone at a distance"

"Cigarette?"  Cavill was holding out a crumpled pack of smokes.  It was odd to think that anyone Micheal hung out with smoked -- to Clair, she couldn't think of her brother as anything but a kid.  Hell, she had a hard time calling herself an "adult"

"No thanks", she replied, waving sheepishly.  

"I quit like a month ago - most on your brother's insistence.  But sitting here waiting last night and stressing out... I just couldn't do it.  I went and bought a pack of smokes.  Micheal would be ashamed of me."

"Don't say that.  I've never known Micheal to be anything but supportive"

"Yeah, but he..."  Cavill's voice trailed off as he began to choke up.  "He's the only person that really ever cared, you know?  And I care about him too.  I don't want to let him down."  A single tear ran down his cheek.

Clair was at a complete loss.  She always came to a complete loss when anyone cried or became vulnerable around her.  'I guess I'm not too unlike my mother', she thought.

"You won't.  You know he talks about you sometimes?  The other day he told me that you're learning guitar and that you're pretty good"

"I'm not, and he knows it.  He just..."

She wasn't sure why Cavill was trailing off now.  She'd met friends of her brother's before, but something was different in the way Cavill talked about his bond with Micheal.  What was it?  

Suddenly, some neurons firing in her brain or some semblance of emotional intelligence came to her, and it made sense.  Months before, Micheal had confessed to her that he was in a relationship but said it was a secret and refused to give her any more details.  It'd annoyed her at the time - she hated secrets in any form and saw them as puzzles or riddles that she needed to solve - but now, with her brother's somewhat-secretive friend quietly crying over a cigarette in front of her, an uncomfortably vulnerable figure, she felt like she was close to unraveling this particular puzzle.  She eyed Cavill again, taking him in.  He was a bit taller than her brother, and thinner.  His hair was golden-brown and jettisoned out from his head at odd angles, like some sort of anime character's.  His face didn't quite match it - soft angles, a small button of a nose, and thin lips.  Blue eyes.  He looked absolutely sad, and she couldn't stand to leave him here on his own.

"You're going to Jacksonville, right?", she said.

"Yeah, but I'm waiting for Lisa, remember?  She's my ride"

"Well, you can ride with me if you want.  I'm going right now."

"That's probably more convenient.  Lisa lives between here and Jacksonville and hasn't even left her house yet".

"Well, I'll make some room in my car.  And I have an interview later on, so I won't be able to give you a ride back until after lunch"

"That's okay, I'm staying at the hospital for the day if I can help it"

Clair looked at Cavill, who'd extinguished his cigarette between his fingers and was starting to walk behind her towards her car.  "Go wash you hands and splash some water on your face", she said.  "I don't want the smell of cigarettes in my car, and besides, you look tired"

Cranking her car, her head disappeared in thought again.  What was the meaning of the dream she'd had the night before?  What kind of secret life had her brother been living?  Who is this Cavill kid she's seen around who's suddenly very attached to her brother?  Why would her mom not tell her that her brother had been taken to a hospital an hour's drive south for surgery?  What was Cavill telling her mom in the dream she'd just had, and why did it make her mom so... upset?  

She couldn't sit there with her thoughts for a second longer, so she reached for the pair of pliers in the center console and used them to twist the metal stub on which her car radio's volume knob had once rested.  The dulcet tones of the NPR announcer now filled the silence:  

"Next on NPR:  We talk to an experimental psychologist about a new study on the phenomenon of apparently precognitive dreams.  Can dreams predict the future?"  

Not even NPR was going to give her a moment of escapism. 

=============================================

This is part one of my unfinished series about a girl named Clair whose dreams begin to mirror reality (sounds fun until it happens to you!), which for now is going to be titled “Clair’s Voyage”.  I started writing a story along these lines, with much less detail, a few years ago until it was apparent that I was writing a longer story than I’d set out to write.  At that time, I just saved the draft but left it unfinished.  Now, I’m adding more details and breaking it out into different parts.  It may become a book by the time I’m done.  Clair, you see, is an aspiring psychiatrist - she loves studying the mind and how it works - but right now she’s just trying to struggle through community college and get a job as a secretary at the local psychiatric hospital.  She’s also trying to struggle with the traumatic events surrounding an eerie July 4th, on which her brother was grievously injured in a scene that played out exactly how it had played out in her nightmare the night before.  With her brother’s boyfriend, Cavill, at her side, she’s about to embark on a journey of discovery and empowerment filled with ups and downs and unspeakable trauma.  So be sure to tune in for the next Part of Clair’s Voyage. 

[wifeofkimtaehyungofbts]

Chapter 11

>> Pairing: Taehyung x Y/N, Taehyung x reader

>> Words: 2,379

>> Notes: I’m going to upload a new chapter whenever possible. Please bear with my hectic schedule! You may leave asks and let me know what you think of my writing (:

Synopsis: You run into a rather strange man one night. He seems terrified, as if fighting battles only he can see. He seems detached from the world, talking only to a voice inside his head. Oh, another strange fact: he keeps talking about angels. You discover later that you were the angel he was praying to.

>> Previous / Next

**

“Hey"

I jolted at the sudden voice echoing against the walls of the eerily quiet changing room of the McDonald’s.

Jungkook was leaning against the door. His apron was thrown over his shoulder and he cocked his head at me.

“Wanna go out tonight?”

“Huh?” I wasn’t quite sure I heard him right. Jeon Jungkook. The guy that hardly ever talks to anyone. The handsome guy who shies away from girls at the cashier trying to get his number. The guy who leaves work without sparing a second for an after-work chat with his colleagues. Wants to go out with me?

I continued to stare at him in shock. Instead of breaking the awkward silence between us, he stared back at me. His dark chocolate brown eyes looked deep. Not in the romantic sense. It almost seemed like there was an entirely different person behind them. If the person differed from the one who stood before me in a good way or a bad way, I couldn’t tell. But what I could tell was that if I didn’t reply fast, we'd be staring into each other for all of eternity.

“Don’t you have work?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “You are supposed to fill me in tonight because Felix had an emergency at his house and couldn’t make it”

“I got someone else to cover for me" he shrugged.

I wanted to know more but I figured it didn’t really matter as long as my shift was covered and he didn’t get into trouble either.

“Gimme a minute. I need to wash my face” I said turning my back on him.

As I busied myself removing my hair tie and gathering my hair in a bun, I felt someone lightly brush against my back.  I wanted to turn but it felt too cold.

“You look beautiful Y/N" Jungkook whispers, his warm breath blowing the hair at the top of my head.

In reflexive panic, I grabbed my bag pack and dashed to the girl’s bathroom. I couldn’t calm my racing heart as I tried to shake off the eerie coldness I felt a few seconds ago.

Why did Jungkook come onto me so suddenly? And what’s with the compliment? I mean sure, thank you but it felt so off. He didn’t sound sweet or shy when he said it. He sounded stern, like he was stating a matter of fact I better believe else.... else?

Else what, Y/N? He was going to kill you??

I slapped myself for overthinking and washed my face before hurrying to the front. My colleagues were busy with customers so I couldn’t wave them goodbye. I stepped outside to the chilly air, spotting Jungkook standing by the road. I walked up to him and smiled warmly.

He looked down at me and smiled back. “Do you like pizza?”

“Who doesn’t!” I giggled, already drooling at the mere idea of pizza.

He laughed as we started walking towards the Arthur’s Pizzeria around the corner.

**

We were seated by the window across from each other. The table was too big for just us two, but we were glad no one else attempted to sit with us. It was fine, just the two of us.

We ordered our pizzas and spoke about ourselves as we waited for the food.

I found out Jungkook is from Busan and he was studying music at the campus. He was in fact a top graduate from Busan Arts School along with some guy whose name Jungkook doesn’t remember. He likes to play video games and tries new activities every weekend. Last week he had attempted fishing with a friend of his and they ended up catching no fish but a cold so bad, Jungkook requested for an extension on his vocal exam. Oh, and he hates reading.

I told him about the time I submitted the wrong thesis paper for my semester end assignment and had to retake the whole module all over again in the next semester. He asked my favourite colour, movie and book. He judged me for being a book worm and laughed when I pouted at him in annoyance.

Our food arrived soon and we didn’t talk as we devoured the delicious, thin, saucy pizza. I caught him watching me from the corner of my eye but I made no attempt to eat decently. It’s not like I want to impress him or anything anyways.

Three girls seated at the table next to us wooow’ed at the sight of Jungkook. They turned their attention to me and stared on with disgust.

“What’s someone like him doing with someone like her?”

“God knows! See this is why we never get to experience anything good. Because the good guys are always after someone so random”

“It must be true love if he actually chose someone like her. I mean, look at her hair!”

I could even hear their eye rolls as loud as I heard their words. It pricked and I found myself slowing my eating. I suddenly couldn’t chew anymore. I felt restrained. Like someone had put handcuffs and a leash on me and I had to strain against them to take a bite of my pizza.

Growing up, I haven’t had the most stable family. My fatherless life had involved trying to work odd jobs since I was 13 and missing out mile stones other girls got to experience during their teen years. My first kiss wasn’t under a starry night with my first love, it was rushed and filled with greed at the car park of the local book store. And he cheated on me a week later with the girl who sat next to me at chemistry. The man I first shared a bed with was not looking for a long-term relationship and left me when he found a full time, high wage job at his uncle’s company in New York. My mother was crippling, losing a bit of herself every passing day until one day she came down the stairs to have her tea and I couldn’t even recognize her anymore. My sisters were still too young to understand life and I didn’t want them to see the world as I saw it. I wanted them to have a happy childhood and experience life as any growing child should. They were sent away to my uncle’s and although they were more than willing to also let me stay, I needed away. I left my mother as she screamed indecent words at me one night and took the subway train that led me here. The letter of acceptance from the university was the only good thing that has ever happened to me. I soon became best friends with my room mate who is the polar opposite of me but somehow, we spoke to the same stars and saw life in the same light. My life has always been rushed, difficult to comprehend and there was no easy way through. Having to hear the body that pulled me through those sleepless nights of putting my scared sisters to sleep and locking their doors so my alcoholic mother couldn’t hurt them with her drunk violence, the same body that has cried itself to sleep after carrying stack after stack of recycle paper up 7 flight of stairs for very little pay and a terrible neck and back ache, the same body that is still living and breathing and pushing through, is not good enough, is less, is devastating. It makes me want to cry.

I didn’t ask for such a difficult life. Additionally, my face is the only remainder of who my mom used to be; I am the spitting image of her. The her that was over flowing with positivity and had a heart of gold. The her that lovingly brought my sisters and I into this world and took us cycling and cooked our favourite pasta for our birthdays. To think this face, this remainder of what she looked like, who she was, is less makes my heart crinkle around the edges and burn in the deepest pits of its centre.

“All good?”

I look up to see Jungkook looking at me worriedly.

“Oh yes! I just.... should stop eating else I’ll throw up" I laughed awkwardly.

Jungkook continued to munch on his pizza as he stared at me. He was trying to read the worry in my eyes, the sad drop of the corners of my lips. I couldn’t hide my emotions on my face even if the world depended on it, so I wouldn’t be surprised if any minute now Jungkook presses me for answers and stories. Stories I’d rather keep hidden like I have all this time.

“Okay" Jungkook hums as he takes another slice of pizza. I look at him, grateful he dropped the subject. I watched on as he ate. He didn’t once lift his eyes to mine. He busied himself finishing up his own pizza and the remainder of mine. I wasn’t shocked he ate so much given the fact that he was full of muscle and stamina.

I looked out the window at the busy street. People walked by, carrying the weight of their lives on their shoulders. The lights from cars and street lights looked like stars on Earth from where I was seated. I felt a sudden sense of closure knowing I could disappear into the night, walk mindlessly around these people and no one would know who I am. I’d have no one to explain or compare myself to. Nobody would know what’s going on inside my head. Frankly, nobody would care enough to know. And it felt nice. To not be alive and surviving. I wanted to be light, float over the Earth and find my purpose at my own pace without trying to catch up with the rest of the world only to fall short of breath and lost.

“I don’t know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, but I’ll listen if you share” Jungkook wipes the corner of his mouth with a tissue. He has cleaned the trays of pizza without leaving behind even a trace of any food being there. I smiled kindly at his words.

“Thank you Jungkook. But I’m not thinking about anything that needs concerning attention”

My smile doesn’t reach my eyes and I know he noticed it. He pays the bill entirely despite me fussing about wanting to split the bill. We make our way back to my house, the breeze a little colder and stronger than yesterday, reminding us of the oncoming winter.

**

I pace the living room painfully slow, waiting.

Waiting for her to come back home.

Daffodil.

I have been practising what I wanted to say as I give her the present over and over again in my head. I had wrapped it neatly in a brown paper bag and tied with an orange ribbon I found on her study table. The wrapping was not at all attractive, but it was neat and I hoped she would see the value of the gift that’s wrapped rather than the wrapping itself.

I look at the time. 09.19pm.

She was supposed to be back a long time ago. I heard her making arrangements yesterday to leave early from work today. I had cleaned the entire house; sweeping the wooden floor boards, removing cobwebs and brushing off the dust that had collected on top of the cupboards and TV.

I did not have a phone on me and even if I did, its not like I had her number anyway. I sighed loudly and slumped on the cold floor. My eyes kept fluttering, threatening to close for hours. My shoulders felt heavy and I couldn’t pull myself up off the floor. I rested my head on the floor and allowed my eyes to close. The coldness from the floor piercing my right cheek was the last thing I was aware of before I drifted off to a sleep full of nightmares.

**

I saw it again.

The playground.

The swing.

The boy.

I was playing in the park around the corner from school. I had sand in my old, torn shoes and my school tie was hanging loosely around my neck. My hair was a mess and sweat dripped off the ends of my bangs. I was having too much fun running around to stop. I sat at one of the swings and turned to face the boy seated in the other.

“Hey!” I waved brightly.

He did not respond, his head bent low and slowly swinging. He had dark brown hair and a piercing in his left ear. I could not see his face because it was surprisingly too dark on the side of the swing he was on. It was almost as if a dark cloud was looming over him, night fallen on the side of the Earth he was on.

I turned away and focused on swinging as high up as I can. However, my merry only lasted for a short while because I had swung a little too high and as I swung back, I was thrown off the seat and face first onto the dirty sand. I got up spitting sand out of my mouth. Any average person would have shrieked in disgust and run straight home for a good shower at what just happened. But I just laughed, almost choking on my spit as I attempted to spit sand out of my mouth.

“Pathetic”

The boy suddenly spoke. His voice was soft, melodic and had a boyish charm to it.

He’d make a great singer if he could sing, I thought to myself.

I turned to look at him, mirth sparkling in my eyes.

“Ha! So you can speak! I thought-” I began but had to stop at the sight before me.

My eyes grew wide in terror as the boy lifted his head to reveal a face with no features except for a gaping hole where his mouth should be. A dark liquid oozed out of his ears, supposed-mouth and where his eyes should’ve been.

My breath caught in my throat as I tried to scream again and again, but no sounds came out.

**

Tag list: @tae-n-u​

[mysingularitybts]

Glances a Jung Hoseok One-Shot

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x famous!reader

Genre: romance

Warnings: smut

Part 1

Part 2 

As soon as I got home I let out a deep sigh. What had just happened? How can a person affect me this way? I have dated in the past and none have ever made me feel this flustered and out of control.

I decided to go to bed since it was late and tomorrow I had to go to the studio, yet when I closed my eyes instead of darkness greeting me it was his sharp eyes staring deeply at me. It was the smirk he threw me all night and it was the heat I felt when we came into contact.

I couldn't keep this to myself or I would drive myself crazy. So, I did the only reasonable thing... I called Nari, my best friend. The phone rang many times and just as I was about to give up hope Nari's groggy voice greeted me.

"What Y/n?" she grumbled into the phone.

"Something happened and I don't know what to do about it," I answered desperately

"Are you okay? Where are you?" she worriedly asked.

"Yes, I'm okay. Well, kinda. I'm home" I huffed into the phone.

"Y/n, you are worrying me," she told me. I felt her bedsheets ruffle as she got up.

"I met BTS," I let out as if it was the most tragic thing ever.

"Really?! That's great!" she exclaimed, ignoring my tone.

"I'm not finished,"

"What... don't tell me you hooked up with one of them?! Who was it?" she then again yelled into the phone.

"None of that," I answered, rubbing my tired eyes out of frustration.

"Damn it y/n just tell me already!" Nari fumed.

That's how I spent almost an hour recalling what happened in the past 12 hours. As I told the story Nari would release oh's and ah's. I think she thought for a second my life was a drama.

"So, what do you think?" I asked hoping to get some advice out of my best friend.

"Holy shit that was intense," she exclaimed. I just hummed at her reaction.

"I can't get him out of my head," I whined, throwing myself face down on the bed.

"Sadly I can't help you that much. The only thing you can do is wait for him to ask you on that date which I guess should be soon," she tried reasoning with me.

"How do you know?"

"He will want to go out with you before he leaves LA, duh," she explained simply.

"You're right, you are so smart," I said as she let out a noise agreeing, "I'll try to sleep now, goodnight!"

"Night!"

I tried to sleep once more, but this time I was so exhausted physically and emotionally that I fell asleep in a few moments not allowing the rapper's actions to haunt me.

The next day I felt a lot better and had a better grip on my emotions. I went to the studio and had some recording done. I also got some writing done having found some inspiration on the dark-haired man.

At around noon I went out for lunch with Carly. Stepping into the studio a huge flower arrangement greeted me. It was very colorful making me suspect who it was from. Carly just looked at me with a raised eyebrow waiting for an explanation.

I ignored her as I searched for a card to confirm my suspicion. I found it between the many flowers I quickly took and read through it a smile forming on my face.

'Sweetheart,

Would you do me the honors of having dinner with me at 8?'

-Hoseok

Xxx-xxx-xxxx'

Not wasting a single minute I searched for my phone and typed a simple message

'Yes ❤️ - y/n'

He answered very rapidly with a message of his own.

'I'm so happy to hear that sweetheart. I'll pick you up."

I made sure to send him my address when a chuckle behind me startled me.

"Huh?" I dumbly said.

"Who's got you blushing?" Carly asked accusatorily at me.

"Nooo oneeee," I said innocently.

"Is it one of BTS?" she asked knowingly.

"How did you know?" I asked, baffled at her guess.

"Nobody else caught your attention yesterday, honey," she explained.

"Yeah, it's J-hope," I answered, playing with my fingers hoping she wouldn't scold me.

"Okay, just be careful, okay?" She said with a supporting smile, "I'm not saying they're bad, but they are very busy guys and you also have your career to be worried about."

"...I know I'm just hoping for the best,"

"Let me know where you'll be so I can give a fake lead to the paparazzi. I don't want them bothering you today and spreading fake rumors,"

"THANK YOU SO MUCH CARLY I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH," I squealed in her ear as I gave her a huge hug.

This is why I loved Carly. She always gave me the freedom to explore. Even if it came with a hundred warnings. I knew it was because she cared about me.

Going back to work I tried to rush through it so I could go home earlier. Seeing my rush Carly just told me to leave and go enjoy my date. I didn't question as I picked up my stuff and almost ran out the door.

Once home I had a bath and made sure to exfoliate my skin so it was silky smooth. Having some extra time I put on a face mask so my skin was also on point. I was going the extra mile to impress Hoseok.

At around 5 I began doing my hair and makeup. I opted for straightening my hair making it look shiny and long, I took the two front strands and tucked them behind my ears. For the makeup, I did a soft, neutral, glam look with a red lip. Then the hard part came...choosing what to wear.

I remembered he mentioned we were going to a restaurant so I began searching for a dress.

I picked a black silky dress. It reached my mid-thigh, had an open back, and only showed a bit of cleavage in front. Looking at myself in the mirror I looked hot!

At exactly 8 PM my doorbell rang. I went down and opened the door to see a very handsome looking Hoseok in a black suit and a white button-up. The first few buttons of it undone.

"Hey," Hoseok greeted me as I opened the door.

"Hi," I shyly said, noticing how his eyes took in what I was wearing.

"You look stunning," he complimented not missing to shoot me a grin. l

"Thank you," I said, not knowing how to proceed my nerves taking the best of me.

"Ready to go?" He asked, offering me his ringed hand.

"Definitely," I answered, placing my palm in his embracing the warmth he emitted.

The first minute of the car ride was a bit awkward, but it quickly dissipated as we began talking about our day. Once we got to the restaurant we had a full conversation going.

He brought me to a very notorious restaurant in LA. It was known in the industry as the restaurant to go if you wanted a bit of privacy since it had many entrances and even though it had lots of windows you could see inside without actually being inside.

Tonight there were no paparazzi outside, thanks to Carly I believe, so we used the main entrance. Once inside the waiter quickly led us to a table and gave us the menu. After taking our order our conversation resumed.

"Nari and I used to get into so much trouble and we didn't even do anything horrible. We would always just prank her brother," I laughed remembering the old days, "He used to be a cry baby and that's what got us in trouble."

"Poor boy with two crazy girls torturing him," Hoseok teased chuckling at my memory.

"We didn't torture him! It was like a competition we had to see who could make him cry first," I tried defending myself but realized Nari and I were a bit cruel to six-year-old Youngjin.

"I remember when we were still trainees we did something similar with Jungkook," Hoseok said trying to recall the memory, "Sometimes he'd be upset and we'd simply say 'You're going to cry?' and it was like a trigger."

"You see it's fun!" I exclaimed giggling.

Somehow as the night went on his hand found mine at the table. He held it delicately, his hands were soft and warm, his rings in contrast were freezing.

"How is your album going?" He curiously asked, changing the subject.

"It's getting there... There are still a few songs missing and I'm working with some other ones to make them better. Hopefully, by next year it will be released," I uncertainly said, "This album is a bit more complicated since I'm trying to explore a new sound," I explained.

He just nodded his head letting me talk. I loved that he would just listen to what I had to say now and then adding to it or giving me his advice. We had a good conversation and I got to know him on a more personal level. He was a bright guy always looking for the positives whose smile made you smile. He was so supportive too and whenever he talked about his work you could sense the passion going out of his pores.

The night went in a blur and dessert soon came. He took me by surprise as he fed me some of it and then cleaned my bottom lip with his thumb as some chocolate was left behind. It was both sexy and sweet.

When we finished eating we went up to a little terrace in the building where you could see the view of LA and all of its twinkling lights. We stood there looking out at the view, it was peaceful.

I heard him clear his throat and call my name, "Y/n?"

"Yes?" I asked turning to look at him.

He looked nervous standing there playing with the rings on his finger. He looked hesitant so I extended my hand to hold his and reassure him.

"I am so glad you agreed to the date," he began saying his eyes on the floor, "When I met you I didn't expect to feel such a great connection to you."

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one that felt it," I told him softly.

Feeling more confident he raised his eyes to mine, "Even though we haven't known each other for a long time I find myself caring about you a lot and I can't seem to get you outta my head. I would really like to keep seeing you and I know it might not be so easy with me being on tour and you with your work, but I would really like to try..."

I stood there shocked. I hadn't expected him to reveal his feelings so rapidly, but I also understood why he did it. If he didn't do it now then when? Our lives are so hectic you don't know when the next time you'll see a person will be, so, you need to hold tight to them.

"If you don't want to, I'll respect that, but please think about it," he finished saying at my lack of response.

He gave me a defeated look as I didn't respond immediately or even after a few seconds. I was trying to organize my thoughts, if there was one thing I was sure of it was that I didn't want to let him go.

"I don't have to think about it," I said, squeezing his hand, "I would love to keep seeing you. After all, you've made me feel things I never thought I could feel."

At my confession, Hoseok's eyes regain that spark that was unique to him.

With his confidence returning he asked, "Does that mean you would like to give this a try and be my girlfriend?"

"I would love too," I excitedly giggled.

Facing him, I briefly looked down at our hands. His thumb lightly brushed against my skin and I smiled as he pulled me closer to him. My eyes met his but not for long as I glanced at his lips once I saw him do the same. He let go of my hands and gently moved them to my waist as I placed mine on his arms. He got closer to me until his lips met mine in the sweetest of kisses. I could tell how nervous he was and I was too, yet I also felt overwhelming joy at the same time. His lips were warm and inviting with a hint of chocolate from our previous dessert. We fit together, not just emotionally, but physically as if we were two puzzle pieces that lost each other long ago and finally found each other. I felt his grasp on my waist tighten slightly as my hands moved to his chest. His heartbeat was erratic and I smiled into the kiss knowing I had the same effect on his as he did on me.

We pulled apart, I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me. An unidentifiable feeling filled my heart as we went back in for another kiss not having quite enough. While the first kiss was sweet and tender this one was full of fiery passion. Our lips moved more feverishly desperate to feel each other, he pulled me even closer having me flush against him. The heat rose as I felt his tongue ask for entrance and without hesitation, I parted my lips. My hands then traveled to the back of his neck where they tangled themselves in his hair. We stood there for what felt like a small eternity, but eventually, we had to pull away as our lungs started burning, begging for air.

With smiles on our faces, we turned back to the LA scenery. Hoseok wrapped his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. After a few moments of peaceful silence, I asked, "What now? What else do you have planned?"

He looked at me with wide eyes, "I don't have anything else planned," he laughed, "I was too worried thinking you might reject me to plan something else."

"As if! I would never," I said in a defensive tone.

After thinking for a second I gave an idea, " We can go to my place... I have a bottle of wine waiting for us," I told him as I looked up at him, "That is if you want."

He looked down at me and with a kiss to my forehead he said, "Let's go."

He intertwined our hands and led me back to the car and as the gentleman, he is he opened the door for me. As Hoseok drove I couldn't help but observe him, there was something about how he gripped the steering wheel and how his eyes focused on the road that made him look so attractive.

Being so deep in thought he took me by surprise as he said, "You know it's rude to stare," he briefly glanced at my blushing face and finished by saying, "But since it's you I'll let it pass."

---------------------------------------------------------------STOP----------------------------------------------------

He placed his hand on my thigh warming it up with just a touch and as I grew accustomed to its presence he started to caress my thigh. Up and down. Up and down. Never touching where I wanted him to be making my core throb. It made the car ride unbearable and filled with tension. He knew what he was doing since when I turned to look at him he had a smirk on his lips.

I placed my hand on top of his to stop the teasing and gave him a knowing look.

He shamelessly laughed and said, "Sorry Sweetheart couldn't resist."

"All in due time Hobi be patient," I simply told him, squeezing his hand.

Once we got to my house I opened a bottle of wine and sat on the sofa beside him. It was as if he was a magnet and I was metal. We instantly attracted each other and came into contact not being able to be apart.

We had a nice conversation going about BTS's upcoming tour.

"So, wait, you just finished this tour and you have one scheduled for next year?" I asked surprised.

"It's for the new album that's dropping. Hopefully, we'll go to more places than this year," he responded excitedly while taking a drink of his wine glass.

"I don't know how you do it, I wouldn't be able to bear being away from home for so long," I admitted while watching the wine as it swirled in the glass.

"Remember I have the guys who are practically my family," he explained with a fond smile, "Besides we've worked so hard to get to where we are now we're scared it will all go away if we take a break."

To some extent, I understood his worry. In this industry one day, you could be on top and the next on the bottom. There was always a search for the next new talent, but there were also people who would do anything to be on top even if it meant playing dirty.

"I doubt it though you have the best fanbase in the world," I reassured him.

It was the truth ARMY was always consistent. They always tried to support BTS to the fullest even if they made mistakes.

"Is that so?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Of course I've been a proud ARMY since practically the beginning," I reminded him.

"So tell me who is your bias?" he asked, getting even closer cornering me in between the sofa and him.

"Hmm? I'm not sure..." I teased with a grin.

"Is that so? There must be somebody," at this point his nose was brushing against mine.

"W-w- well there is Namjoon but my heart's not set on it yet...there is time for it to change," I told him trying to gauge his reaction.

"Then let me convince you," With every syllable, he said he pulled me closer till the gap between us was no more and our lips touched in a searing kiss.

Our lips moved in unison as if we had practiced it a million times before. We separated for a split second placing the half-drunk glasses on the table, yet our lips crashed once again not wasting a single moment.

My hands found themselves around his neck playing with his dark tendrils. I pulled on them and the most beautiful sound came from his mouth, a deep and sinful moan. Wanting to hear it again I pulled again and my ears were blessed with the wicked sound.

His hands pulled me into his lap making me straddle him, as they then roamed my body leaving a fiery trail behind causing goosebumps to arise.

He started trailing kisses around my neck finding my sweet spot and sucking on it, making me moan and grind my hips over his groin which in turn led him to buck up against me.

My hands moved across his chest feeling his hard lean muscles contract. I couldn't get enough of it. I needed more of his burning skin. I had to feel the heat he emitted and the rapid beating of his heart.

I untucked his crisp white shirt while he marked my neck with purple flowers that I would surely regret tomorrow. He nipped my neck which made me leave scratch marks down his flawless chest.

He started kissing my lips again and dragged his hands to my back as he toyed with the zipper of my dress.

He pulled back and with dark and dilated eyes asked "Can I?"

Breathless I replied, "Yes."

We held eye contact as he torturously pulled the zipper down causing my dress to drop down to my waist leaving my chest exposed. My nipples hard due to arousal and the sudden temperature change. They weren't cold for long as Hoseok quickly took one into his mouth and covered the other with his palm.

All I could do was moan and whimper as he alternated between sucking the bud and rolling it with his tongue. He rolled the other between his fingers and occasionally pulled it making me whimper and say his name.

"H-Hoseok, ahh," I stuttered with pleasure while gripping his back.

"What was that sweetheart?" he asked while momentarily pulling back. His other hand lowering down to my butt and giving it a hard smack.

"Hoseok!" I screamed as pain and pleasure flooded my senses at the same time.

"Just like that," he darkly chuckled.

It was amazing to see how a person can change from a bright, sweet, and seemingly innocent to this sexy lust-filled man. Both beautiful and dangerous simultaneously.

Hoseok picked me up as I locked my legs around his waist trying not to fall and made me direct him to my room. Once in the room, that was thankfully clean, he dropped me on the edge of the bed and finished pulling off my dress. I was almost bare with only the thin layer of lace covering my nether regions.

I sat up to finish unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off in a swift motion. His chest was an amazing sight to behold. It reflected the hours of training and practice he endured daily. I kissed down his chest and stomach, making sure to leave some marks of my own, but stopped at the hem of his pants.

I looked up at him to see him staring at me with hooded eyes and slightly parted lips. Staring into his eyes I took off his belt, unbuttoned his pants, and lowered the zipper slowly to torture him just as he did to me moments earlier.

Once his pants were off I began to palm him through his underwear not missing how his hips slightly thrust at the contact and he let out a sigh. Having tortured him enough I lowered his boxers letting his member spring up. It stood proudly with a vein going up its length. His head leaking pre-cum.

I began pumping him while swiping my thumb over the tip. Hoseok groaned as he tipped his head back. He then looked at me with a mixture of confusion and desperation as I stopped my movements, but understood as I brought him to my mouth. I started bobbing my head as I worked my way deeper until I had most of him in my mouth.

Hoseok's hands grazed my shoulders not being sure what to do with them. So, I took them and placed them on my head letting him take the lead. Taking that as permission he grabbed my hair and started guiding my movements. At some point I had him completely in my mouth, I felt as my nose touched his pelvis but before I could choke he pulled me back with a string of saliva connecting me to him.

Hoseok pulled me up and started kissing me his tongue tangling with mine. He placed me by the pillows on the bed kissing down to my neck, to my sternum, down to my stomach until I felt his breath in between my thighs. He did all this while I looked at him pleadingly. He made me suffer as he kissed around my thighs making me wince now and then as he bit down.

By this point, I was dripping and he knew it. He touched me through my underwear and felt how soaked I was. With a smirk, he rubbed up and down my slit not giving me what I wanted most.

I let out a huff of frustration and he took it as a queue to begin his work. He lowered my underwear and I felt as it got stuck to me due to my arousal. He gazed at me intently while he very slowly and gently pulled them down.

I whined, dropping my head back onto the mattress which made me not notice when he brought his fingers to my heat. I gave a mix of a squeal and a moan as he rubbed my clit in circular motions. I tried clamping my legs shut due to the sensation, but he placed himself between them not allowing me.

He wasn't doing much and I was already a moaning mess. He stuck a finger into me and he cussed at how tight I felt with only a finger in. I started gripping the bed sheets around me trying to hold onto something.

"Hoseok... p-p-lease more," I begged the feeling of his finger inside me not being enough.

"Whatever you want sweetheart," he complied by inserting another of his long fingers the tightness increasing as he kept going.

The rings on his fingers added to the pleasure as they brushed against me and soon enough I started to cum, my thighs started to tremble and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. My mouth open but not letting a sound out.

He brought me down off my high slowly, not stopping immediately. As I came back to my senses I could still feel the twitch of my thighs. I hadn't noticed that at some point my hands exchanged the sheets for Hoseok hair as I released my grip on it.

"That was beautiful," he praised.

I couldn't stop the blush that covered my face.

"Don't get shy now baby," he hummed in a low voice.

Hoseok crawled back up to me and looked at me in the eye, lots of emotions swirling in them. He brushed my hair off my face and at the sweet gesture I couldn't help but bring my hands up to his cheeks and pull him down to my lips. His mouth still tasted like me but I didn't mind. I pulled back slowly as I bit his lip and dragged it out till I released it. His eyes turned darker than before at the action.

"Don't play like that sweetheart," Hoseok growled in my ear.

I acted innocently saying "What do you mean?"

"You know what," he said as his thumb went over my lips.

"I need you Hoseok," I whispered. For a second I thought he didn't hear me until he spoke.

"Whatever you want you get sweetheart."

After what felt like an eternity I felt him sink into me and we both let out a moan in unison.

"Fuck you're so tight," he groaned shutting his eyes tightly.

"Just for you," I reassured, and as I said those words I saw a fire ignite in him as he started thrusting slowly and deeply.

"Faster baby," I whined.

He complied and started going faster, his hands laced through mine. He went deep inside me making me feel full and hitting all the right spots. The sight of him on top of me was otherworldly, the way he'd let out silent groans and how his eyes focused on every little reaction I gave.

Just as I was reaching my peak he stopped his movements. Pleadingly I looked at him. He took my hand pulling me up as he sat against the headboard and in his low voice said, "Ride me."

I could only say one thing, "With pleasure."

I straddled him and slowly sunk into him. He held my hips as I bounced on him, his hands occasionally roaming to my chest. He was truly a sight to behold as the sweat dropped from his neck and chest giving his skin a gleam. Plus, the way he'd try to hide his moans and groans. The moans caused by me.

"I'm not gonna last long sweetheart," he revealed with a grimace.

"Me either baby," I agreed as I felt the knot forming in my stomach.

He then started rubbing my clit with one hand while he pulled me to his lips with the other. Just like that the uncontrollable heat between us amplified to extreme measures as we reached our climax together. He muffled my moans as he kissed me. The long kisses slowly turned into pecks until we pulled away with our breaths heavy and our foreheads touching. The heat was there but it was faint having been satisfied for now. I got off of him suddenly feeling very empty.

We laid on my observing each other and recuperating from the past activity. Hoseok caressed my arm with his fingertips relaxing me even more. After getting my breathing under control I noticed he had an infectious smile on his lips which in turn made me smile back. Sunshine Hoseok was back.

"Was everything okay?" He asked slowly, making sure I was alright.

"It was perfect," I whispered, not wanting to break the serenity of the room.

"You were perfect," he responded, pulling me closer so I laid on his chest, the one I had marked in many ways.

"Oh, stop it," I said, the smile never leaving my lips. I hoped he wouldn't notice the blush appearing on my face.

"Know what?" his voice turned serious.

"What?" I was curious to see what he would say.

"The moment you walked up to us in the awards and gave me that sweet glance... I knew I felt something for you." He confessed sweetly as we laid there basking in each other's presence.

I didn't need to say anything since he knew I felt the same.

Cuddling more into his side he kissed my head. I thought about how the time to come would be hard because of our careers, but I paid it no mind. As long as I have Hoseok by my side I would go to hell and back.  

A/N: *cough cough* well that happened. It's my first time writing smut so bear with me. If you liked it let me know! If you didn't don't worry it won't happen too often. The way I wrote the first part really didn't leave much of a choice this was what was supposed to happen.  

So, if you guys enjoyed it please let me know and make sure to like and reblog to show your support.

I'm still shook.  Honestly.

PS. I'm sorry for grammatical mistakes but I really wanted to publish it. I'll probably go back later and fix them.

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

[catchlalune]

Original artwork here

a/n: Hello starbursts! Happy Juneteenth and I hope everyone is staying safe and still quarantining! This fic is very different from my usual works so I need to preface this in my authors note that all of the characters in the story are pretty awful. If you find yourself in any of these situations PLEASE seek help. I wrote this to highlight these issues and you should think of it much like a modern day Romeo and Juliette story (and what I mean by that is that everyone in that story was incredibly dense and really could’ve solved a lot of their issues by talking and working through things together.) Thank you to @skzctnightnight​ and @pockpop​ for actually helping me maintain my motivation for finishing writing in an actual day. (also tagging @jejublr​ )

Word Count: 3.6k 

Pairings: Lucas x Reader

Genre: Angst, CEO! Au, Arranged Marriage 

Warnings: unhealthy relationships, smut, abusive relationship (this is not between the reader and Lucas), this again is to highlight how awful people can be this is an extremely toxic scenario so please don’t read if you will be triggered. Also not proofread yet but I plan on fixing it later

This is not in any way, shape, or form meant to say that I believe Lucas is like this in the slightest. I am using his likeness to portray a completely fictional character and that is all. 

The entirety of the two years she has spent with Lucas culminates to the two of them in this moment. The sinful sounds the two of them make as skin slaps on skin. The feel of him inside her. Everything is hot and wet and passionate. As passionate as the kisses they’ve always shared. As hot as the sun on their skin as they sit and laugh in the sun, Lucas’ parents included. As wet as the rain as it pours outside, slapping on the pavement in hard droplets. 

They say that if it rains on your wedding day it means the relationship is meant to last forever. But what does it mean when it happens on a day of goodbyes? Are you fated to never say hello again? 

Whatever it means does not matter much to the two of them. Lucas is too busy coaxing his cock in and out of her to think of much other than their combined pleasure. They draw this out for as long as they possibly can. They know what will happen when they finish. But still Lucas must bring her to the apex of her pleasure, circling her throbbing bud as he stoaks the fire inside her belly. Her toes tingle, eyes shut tight and breathing ragged. Her fingers pinch and rub at her nipples until she's shaking. 

She comes undone with a sweet groan, gripping him until he releases into the condom. 

They lay there in the darkness of the night, the only illumination being the red of the alarm clock on Lucas’ bedside table. Glaringly it tells them the time but they ignore it as it looks in on them. It judges silently as the time reaches hours close enough for the sun to claw its way above civilization. They grasp for each other in the post-coituous haze. It does not matter, no matter how tightly they cling.

“I want to stay like this forever.” His whispers sound like music to her ears, the song of a siren. 

She does not answer him, anything she wants to say is caught in her throat. The memories that flood her mind hurt her before his words even can. Distinctly she remembers his mother telling her about the arranged marriage proposal from before he was even a child. Lucas doesn’t even know, she hadn’t even known up until two weeks ago. Their two year relationship had suddenly been reduced to nothing by those words. And his mother had been so casual about it, telling her as they searched for Lucas’ birthday present as if it was nothing more than an afterthought. ‘And  by the way, you will never be able to have my son. Not completely.’ 

She doesn’t realize the sobs that wrack her until Lucas pulls her close. He coos at her about how she always gets so emotional after sex. He jokes, tries to lighten the mood but nothing will quiet her mind. Not really. She knows that their graduation tomorrow means the end of this, of them. She knows she should at least tell him why, but she can’t bring herself to say the words. 

Instead she lets him hum the both of them to sleep, Lucas feeling bad about not being able to cure her of whatever ails her. She speaks to him after a brief period of rest, words hardly above the sound of the rustling of sheets. 

“Maybe we could’ve been, in another world.”

By the time he wakes the sun is just rising over the horizon, alarm clock blaring, and the bed cold. He doesn’t have to wait long to find out she is no longer with him. Some part of him feels the dread, knows something must’ve been wrong but he tries to brush it off. He does a good job of it too until he realizes he can’t reach her. Her number automatically disconnects, her things are no longer at her dorm room, and he doesn’t even catch a glimpse of her at graduation. When it is time for her to walk the stage there is a pregnant pause and the name of the graduate. He can’t imagine what must have happened to make her miss her own college graduation but he can’t even find the time to worry. Not when his parents are there and tell him the truth. 

---

“If I have to listen to another man tell me about how to run my own business I just might shoot myself in the foot.” 

Already the span of time has reached six long years. Leaving him was a decision she did not pride herself on. Some nights ended with dreams, ghosts of memories too long passed. Echoes of a time she felt safe, felt confident. Now she stands in the lobby of a convention center trying to figure out which panel would aggravate her the least. Two more long days she would have to deal with the misogyny, usually her patience wouldn’t be so thin but she hasn’t been able to sleep very well recently. She wakes up with the feel and taste of him on her. She feels dirty.

“I agree, we can do it together.” The woman-- who she hadn’t noticed-- smiles at her so brightly it makes her a bit uncomfortable. She was very pretty, the image of most men’s dreams probably. Perfectly manicured nails, long pin-straight hair, skin a milky complexion, lips a shade of pink that was not too bold and not too flirty. The woman also wears a dress she vaguely remembers seeing in a high fashion magazine not too long ago whilst waiting at the doctor's office-- in another word: expensive. She feels a bit embarrassed to have said that so loud where others could obviously hear her. It was obvious she was being watched, she was a woman in a man's world she was always being watched. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t worry about it. Your secret is safe with me!” The woman takes a moment to wink at her, she shifts on her feet still feeling a bit awkward. “My name’s Jaeun, you’re the CEO of Xuxi’s Publishing Group, correct? I’ve been trying to find you all day.” 

Jaeun launches into a story about how she’d stumbled upon her company and relaxes her enough for the two of them to have a conversation about things other than business. It had been such a long time since she had a friend and talking to Jaeun was extremely easy. Maybe it was the way she seemed so bright and bubbly, or even the way she navigated conversations with a natural grace. Whatever it was, Jaeun quickly became a staple in her life for the next two days. 

And then it all comes crashing down on her, just like the rain on that night it rains the last day of the convention. It comes down so hard it resonates within the convention center. But that’s not what she’s focused on. Jaeun had offered for her to meet her husband and his parents excitedly yesterday after talking to her about the lack of business prospects. It was supposed to be relaxed and informal but she was on absolute high alert. 

The years were kind to him in a way that she considered unfair. He was even more beautiful than the night she left him. 

“There you are! This is my husband Lucas. I showed him your business proposal and he wants to have a meeting for a merger.” 

--

It’s no more than a few days after the convention that he shows up on her doorstep in business casual attire that puts hers to shame. She’s not even sure if it was actually smart for them to be left alone together but she swallows the lump in her throat and lets in him. She offers him a plate of food that she made for their lunch but he declines. He does the same to her offer for water and coffee as well. He’s been there all of five minutes and already her palms are sweating. She almost feels silly as he tells her that she can eat, always feeling like the one taking instead of giving. 

"Do you really like her as a friend?" A strange conversation for him to start, but he needed to vet her nonetheless. 

"Yes." There is no doubt in her words, they are hard and come out leaving no room for doubt.

"Do you love and cherish her?"

"Of course I do, it's been so long since finding a friend like her." She fiddles with her fork wondering why this was being asked to her and not the other way around. 

"You know I think she loves you too. I don't know about cherish, that's a good change word. It's just that her mom is so skeptical of everyone, it's better that she doesn't get too close." 

"I know, but it doesn't change my answer. "

There's a brief pause between them before he speaks again, a small smile on his face. 

"I almost wish I was in an arranged marriage with you. I think it would be easy to fall in love. Should I just end it with her? You know I could." He says it with such conviction it makes her heart flutter. 

"Don't say things like that. Jaeun really likes you, she really wants to make it work." It almost sickened her how easy it was for him to just say those words to her. Maybe it was easy for him, but what about her friend? She was groomed her whole life for him. The way he would easily throw her away for another makes her resolve to forget the butterflies in her stomach that much stronger. 

"Let's get down to business now shall we? You came here to talk about a merger." She looks at him with her eyes and jaw set and he knows. He knows he is going to fall into her head first and drown. He knows that she is so loyal to her morals and her friendship that she would willingly let any sparks for him fizzle out and die. He knows it, and yet the beating of his heart only gets faster. 

"Let's."

She is exactly how he remembers her. And the way he remembers her is very intimate. If he closes his eyes he can faintly feel the way her body would meld perfectly against him. Lips laying kisses across the expanse of his visage. The smell of her, fresh and sweet; the smell of citrus and a hint of honey with jasmine blooms. He can still feel the way their hearts beat at each others ribcage, trying to find a way out and meld together. But they never did, and they never will. 

It has already been two weeks since their meeting and business between them is going off without a hitch. But of course that's all that is going on between them, business. She is just as intelligent and bright as she always has been and it seems if only she had been dealt a luckier hand in life her business would've surpassed his years ago. He shouldn't be but she makes it so easy to remember their summer tryst. She makes it so easy to remember how he cares for her. 

Even at the company dinner she makes it easy, she glides through the room as if on air. Her pantsuit hugs her body in all the right places. He takes note of how it makes her stand out, of the power she exudes just by making a not so orthodox outfit choice. Of course some of the men would think she was a hardass because of it, but when she saunters away with a pretty brunette and stay in the bathroom longer than socially acceptable they begin to think other things. Of course even if these things are true it's none of their business and he tells them just that. Reminding them of the company rules against harassment and intimidation. 

This doesn't stop him from waiting for her though. After another ten minutes the brunette slipping out from the bathroom a satiated look on her face Lucas is waiting. He keeps his eyes trained on the bathroom door but when he feels it's been too long he doesn't wait anymore. It is a company wide policy that most bathrooms be gender neutral and luckily this was one such one. He makes his way quietly into the single toilet, he tells himself it's just to make sure that she's okay. But when he sees the way she looks he can't help but ask her. 

"Did you have fun?" It's an innocent enough question but the implications of it are anything but innocent. 

"Are you mad?" She doesn't even startle at his presence, as if she knew he would be looking for her. It takes him a second to really be able to answer her. He thinks about it long and hard.

"I can't be mad, because I was the one that let you slip away from me." He regards her with a soft wisftfulness that makes both their hearts ache. It hurts to look at her lipstick smudged and hair disheveled when he wasn't the one who's done it. He wonders if the woman she's just hooked up with knows. 

"If I had held you longer, maybe you wouldn't have slipped out of the bed that night. We could've woken up to each other we could've-" 

"You know that's not true. Don't even pretend for a second your parents would've given up your arranged marriage." 

"We don't know that, we could've been more persistent! We could've begged." His eyes are alight, wild with all of the things he might have done to stay with her had he known it would hurt him this much. 

"No, it wouldn't have changed anything. Just like every other rich person the only thing you and your whole family value is money and power. It doesn't matter how much they liked me." The words come out of her mouth as sharp as razor blades and they cut. They cut so deep and so hot it almost makes him dizzy. He knows she doesn't mean it, she's just upset because he'd almost caused her friendship to fall through. He deserves it but just because it was true about his parents doesn't mean it was for him. 

"You don't understand how much I love you." He steps forward, tears threatening to pour down his beautiful face. She will regret her next words for the rest of her life. But she must say them even if they aren't true, even if they hinder her from happiness. 

"I understand, but it's that my understanding does not matter. Jaeun loves you." Her words echo through different times and spaces it seems. They beat at the two of them brutally. They make it hard to breathe. 

"Do you love me?" He steps closer, words falling from his lips like water from a faucet. They begin to flood the room with their intensity, the water is at their shins. She steps back. 

"Jaeun loves you." A shake of her head and the room is flooded higher, the water at their hips now. He takes another step forward. 

"Do you love me?" The words are at their chests now and she shakes her head again, tears mirroring the ones steaming down his face. 

"Jaeun loves you." He stops when she is almost against the wall but doesn't proceed forward. 

"Do you love Jaeun?" 

"I do, with all that is in me. She's been my only friend through all of this. I can't betray her." The words are at their throats now, they choke her so that her speech is airy and labored. They press at her chest. He knew that he would drown in her, he just didn't realize he would never be saved. 

"But loving me, you already have." He steps away and she can already breathe better when her senses aren't so full of him. 

"I never said-" 

"You didn't have to." The smile he gives her is preposterously solemn for such a wide showcase of his teeth. 

"Jaeun loves you." She whispers back to him, head bowed and eyes looking at the shiny leather of his shoes. 

"I know, but I love you. " He turns away from her and begins his exit and subsequently his descent into madness. Every step he takes from her causes her to fall just a bit closer to the floor, by the time he is gone she is already on her knees gasping for air. 

Jaeun waits for him outside the room with an eerily stoic face. He knows she has heard everything but he doesn't care, he hopes she wants a divorce but to his surprise she offers him her usual smile. Normally he'd think it was full of charm but her words...her very words tell him she was simply a snake all along. 

"Let's go home, I'll help you forget about her." 

They were so caught up in the turmoil of their relationship they hadn't even seen the signs. The seeds that Jaeun had sowed. And now, they played right into her hand. But for her sake, he'd do everything to make sure she wouldn't find out.

"I don't need or want whatever it is you're offering me. What I want is for you to get the fuck away from me." His words come out scathing, he puts every bit of malice he can into each and every letter. But it just makes Jaeun laugh, she then fixes him with a look so sinister it almost makes him shiver. 

"Don't be silly. The second the two of you got together there was already a due date on your relationship. You were never meant to be forever, there was a deadline and it ended exactly when I decided it to. Really it's your fault for ever getting involved with her in the first place." She ends it with a sneer marring her pretty features and so loud he hushes her fearing that his lover might hear. 

"Is it really my fault?" The thought seems ludicrous to him but all Jaeun needs is that inch of doubt in his voice to take it a full mile. 

"Of course it is baby, you're just as awful as I am. But it's okay, I forgive you." He lets her pull him away after that, head so clouded with her words he can barely manage to walk correctly. It was true, he knew he was getting an arranged marriage and his parents knew but still he…

He would make sure that she'd be happy anyway he could even if it meant being in a relationship with Jaeun. 

The years spread between them like a desert, sands of time speeding up and slowing down in frequent intervals that they can't change though sometimes they wish they could. Lucas' marriage to Jaeun is nothing more than a facade and his deserves an Oscar for his performance every time she comes around. Sometimes he wonders why Jaeun keeps her if she doesn't really see her as a friend but then remembers that Jaeun is cruel and enjoys watching the two of them pine. Whenever he kisses Jaeun he feels her lips ghosting across his own. Whenever he touches Jaeun he feels her skin soft and supple. Whenever he fucks Jaeun he really wishes he could make love to her. And whenever he sees their daughter though he loves her to death, he wishes her mother was another woman. He especially wishes it when she comes around to babysit. 

Jaeun takes her cruelty to a whole new degree when she begins to ask her "friend" to babysit for her. 'She's just so tired and Lucas is always so busy.' And it isn't entirely a lie, but Lucas had long since been working from home just to be able to catch a glimpse of her in passing. He didn't think his heart could ache more but it does the moment he hears it. He watches from around the corner to the kitchen, peering in and spying like a shadow.

"Mommy can we have chicken for lunch?" His daughter had just begun to learn how to enunciate her words better. Four years old and Jaeun had hardly stepped in to care for the child, she wasn't a mother any more than she was a wife this much was evident from their daughters words. 

"I'm not your mommy darling, you can call me auntie though." She bends down to pat Jisoo on the head. Eyes tender with a longing she could not put into words. 

"But you act like a mommy, can't you be my mommy? Can we please have chicken?" The four year old pouts up at her, Lucas nearly swoons. Everyone knows that it's true, even the maid and butler agreed she was a much better fit for Jaeun at motherhood. But secrets should never be uttered aloud. 

"We can have chicken Jisoo, but you can't keep calling me that. At least not in front of everyone." Jisoo lights up at the prospect of some kind of compromise. 

"Does that mean I can still call you mommy?" She hushes the child and leans in close to her. Lucas has to strain to hear the words that come from her. 

"Yes, but only when we're alone and you have to be very quiet. It'll be our little secret, promise?" She holds out her pinky for Jisoo to wrap her smaller one around. 

Lucas returns to his office with a smile on his face, something he'd not worn in such a long time the staff gave him strange looks, whispers of rumors beginning. It made no difference to him, he'd just been so happy to keep their secret safe. A secret made for two. 

[khadijatries]

The End And Beginning- Ateez Fanfic

(Seonghwa x Y/N (Bibi)) 

(SONG REC: I’M SORRY- THE ROSE)

Bibi was hoping it would feel different when she saw his face. She’d hoped she flushed him out of her system by now.

 The Earth continued to spin. The stars they had watched together still glowed impossibly through the universe, just as they did then. She wanted to tell them to shut up. To beg them to disappear already because they were dead anyway. Why couldn’t they go quietly.

 Or maybe it was her feelings she was talking to. Because as she stood in the middle of the carpark, with her hands trembling from cold or emotion, tucked into her pockets, she felt like he was the answer. As though if she didn’t run to him right then, she would die.

 She tilted her head, hoping that maybe the different angle would provide new perspective on how she felt. That perhaps she was overreacting, and this situation was not all she felt like it was.

 Nope. Still handsome. Still painful.

 She wondered whether seeing him sitting alone on the speaker box, without the guitar he fine tuned before every performance, looking like more of a wreck than her, should have made her felt better.

Huffing out an ironic laugh, she concluded that she would have felt the same if he’d been sitting with all of his fangirls and laughing raucously, completely happy and satisfied.

 Sniffing away her tears, she reached out to him with glassy eyes and pretended to grab his tiny figure and put him in her pocket. She’ll keep this feeling, to remember the ache.

 A deep breath, a slow eyelid shutter, a pivot on her heels.

 She wouldn’t stay. Neither of them deserved that.

 But when the car door closed in a sort of finality she didn’t expect, her flood gates didn’t hold, and Bibi found herself sobbing into the image of her love, isolated from the world because of what they had done.

 And yet, all they had done, was fall in love and hope.

Seonghwa knew she was there.

He stayed impossibly still, his heart violently hammering inside his chest, sweat dripping down his brow from the effort it took not to get up and just go to her. Even if she didn’t accept it, he wanted to get on his knees and say, ‘I’m sorry’, and ‘Don’t go’.

 None of it would’ve made a difference since she’d made up her mind. They both did. He’d been part of that decision. It was never okay though.

 Not when the idea occurred to him. Not when he voiced his opinion to his best friend. Not when he told Bibi. Not when she’d agreed. Not when he walked away. Not when she didn’t answer his calls after his regret.

 At every turn his mind, body and soul screamed NO. WRONG. STOP.

 He looked down at his phone, at the picture of her eating ramyeon in the middle of the night outside her apartment. He called her that day to tell her that he would never let her go, even if she wanted to leave she couldn’t. She laughed and said she’d never want to. That was months ago.

 His grip tightened as the 2 minutes he expected her to stand in the crowd to attain her closure extended into 10 minutes. 15…

Once the clock his 8 30, he would go to her.

 But at 8 27, she turned on her heel and Seonghwa couldn’t help but leap after her, frantically searching for her car as the crowd grew thicker, and the concert began.

It didn’t take long to spot it, and her, with dark hair all that was in view as she shook and banged her head against the hooter.

 Seonghwa’s heart crumbled, and he did fall to his knees, clutching his chest, muttering apologies, telling her not to go, and desperately swallowing back all his despair.

 This distance and separation, besides being unusual for them, was too cruel. But Seonghwa promised that his desire to never let her go would never fade, and that ultimately he would be by her side again.

(SONG RED: ABYSS- JIN BTS)

The birds were talking again. Their incessant chirping was infuriating today, especially since they were talking about her.

  “Ah, the poor thing. She hasn’t moved an inch since yesterday.” Bird 1 said, watching her pitifully from its daily perch in front of her window. “I hope she finished the research she was busy with.”

 “As if.” Bird 2 scoffed, studying her dishevelled clothes, and unwashed hair. “Is she even still breathing? She hasn’t blinked since we got here.”

 Bibi blinked to reassure the birds and slumped deeper onto her desk.

 “Poor thing. This must be her first time.”

 “What do you mean ‘must be’? It shows that it is.”

 “Be nice! She’s going through a lot right now.”

 “YEAH BE NICE!” Bibi suddenly got up from her chair, the exhaustion finally getting to her, influencing her degree of delusion.

 Just then, the bedroom door shut, and she swivelled around in shock to see her mother standing quietly at the door like she was the one being caught in an insane rage.

 “Good morning.” She said sheepishly, approaching Bibi slowly, so as not to startle her already shaken child.

 Bibi slumped back into her chair. “What’s good about it?”

 Her mother sat at the edge of her bed and studied her quietly. She was worried, of course. Bibi had deep bags beneath her usually clear eyes, and her decisiveness was missing.

 “Its Monday.” Her mother said. “And I wanted to remind you that you have work today.”

 “I’ll call in sick.”

Her mother nodded, trusting that Bibi had a handle on whatever it is that was happening. “I also wanted to tell you that, although I love having you at home, and your dad is over the moon that you’re staying, we’re both a lot better now, so if you wanted to go back to your apartment, we’d be okay with it.”

 “I won’t go till dad is in the clear.” It wasn’t a lie, per say. It was the half truth that Bibi was using to convince herself that it was okay to hide here for a bit longer.

 “Okay. But if you need to talk about anything I’m here.” She got up to leave hesitantly, hoping Bibi would open up today, after 3 days of staying couped up in her room, not even eating.

 “Go to work, Mom, I’ll be fine.” She weakly convinced her mother. It was hard to believe it herself. Usually, she would at least put in an effort to make sure they wouldn’t worry about her, but that seemed like too much for her right then.

 After a firm hug and kiss on the cheek her mom left. She waited to hear her car start and then flopped back into bed.

 How did things that felt natural and easy just about a month ago feel like they could kill her to do them now. Smiling for her parents’ sake, even if she was completely exhausted or angry was never any effort. It killed her to think she couldn’t muster the will to care. Or even to bath, eat or sleep, let alone working.

Working….

She had a job. One she’d really wanted.

After a few minutes of staring blankly at her ceiling, Bibi gathered all the strength she had to get up, take a shower and get dressed into something remotely appropriate for work.

 With a heavy sigh, and wondering just what the hell she thought she was doing, she packed her unfinished research and case files into her bag that felt unnecessarily weighted. She descended the steps in a daze, grabbing a muffin and sitting at the kitchen counter, still deciding whether or not she should be a menace to society by living.

 It was easier said than done to focus her thoughts, when everything she saw, heard and smelled reminded her of him. He was everywhere, even without ever having been there. Even though he never sat at the kitchen counter at her parents’ house, he was somehow sitting across from her now with a very suggestive smile. The smile that got him anything he wanted.

 “Go away.” she said aloud, wishing he were actually there.

 She wasn’t sure if she would swipe everything off the counter and demand he kiss her, or have him in a headlock to choke the living breath out of him so that he would be really gone. Maybe he would haunt her then, and they could-

 “Rude.” He said, tilting his head.

 Bibi jumped back, off the stool, tripping on her way, but when she looked back up, he was gone. She frantically looked around the empty kitchen, and… on the other end of the counter was Kj.

 She was busy picking at her own muffin, unphased that Bibi was having a heart attack.

 “… When did you get here?”

 “Do you want me to pretend you weren’t talking to yourself about ways to murder someone?” She lifted her brows in question.

 Bibi was about to protest when she realised that was probably what she was doing. “Did… you hear anything else I was talking to myself about?”

 “What? Making out?” Kj teased. “Not if you didn’t want me to.”

 Bibi huffed out a half laugh, completely surprised herself. Kj paused, eyes wide and pointed at her in shock.

 “Did you just… laugh?” Kj grabbed her shoulders and studied her face. “Ohmygod, thank goodness. I thought I would have to make friends in the real world and I wouldn’t because I’m completely incapable of human interaction!”

 “And what am I?” Bibi protested, kind of feeling a sudden spike in her energy levels.

 “Oh you think you’re considered human? After starving yourself for 3 days? After ignoring my calls? After making me wait outside your door all night? You’re a stone cold bitch, my friend.” Kj spoke frankly, not allowing any of the intense concern she felt for her friend to show.

 “You were here? In the house?” Bibi didn’t think she was that far gone so as not to notice her presence.

 Kj only nodded and stared. Bibi could tell there were many things beneath this façade she was attempting to put up, that Kj wanted to ask. That her mother avoided asking her.

 “OKAY I CAN’T TAKE IT!” Kj burst after 2 whole seconds. “I might cry if you continue to give me this blank look.” She waved a hand in Bibi’s face. Let’s fix you.”

 Bibi swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, because she too, couldn’t stand her own blank stare, the endless tears and the painful fatigue. “I don’t want to stay this way either.” She admitted.

 “GOOD! But first you have to drive me to campus and get to work.” She declared, grabbing Bibi’s keys and heading to the car.

 Instead of plugging in their usual playlist, Kj waited for Bibi to start the car and pull out onto the road, then asked, hoping she would let her in after all this time. “Want to tell me what happened now?”

 “No.” Bibi replied instantly.

 “And why not, Bibi?” Kj was sure to lose her patience today. She didn’t like to push, but she was already angry at the world for putting her best friend in this position to begin with.

 “Because you would get unnecessarily angry and hurt for me, and one of us feeling shitty is quite enough.” Bibi justified, attempting to switch on the radio.

 Kj switched it off immediately. “Are you dumb?” She  looked at her blankly. “Do you just not want me to get mad and Seonghwa and beat his ass?”

 Bibi would’ve thought it was joke, and it would have been in any other circumstance, but Kj’s tone wasn’t a joking one. Frankly, she was growing redder by the second, and if she didn’t calm down she would combust. And most probably Seonghwa would get the brunt of it since they were on the same campus, and Bibi couldn’t be there to prevent it.

 “The only reason you wouldn’t tell me what was going on is if you thought I would try to do something about it.” Kj was right about that, to be fair. Why else would she not confide in the embodiment of confidante for her. “And that would mean that if you told me, and I did get angry, he did do something to get angry about.”

The longer she spoke about him, the more unstable and displaced Bibi felt.

“I didn’t even tell you anything and you’re on a warpath, trying to defend my honour.” She didn’t realise that she was going to shout, but she did, and soon, tears welled in her eyes. “He didn’t do anything wrong, Kj.”

 “Then why won’t you tell me what happened?!” Kj shouted back, her throat also growing thick with held back grief.

 “Because that’s my opinion! And yours might be different! Just leave him alone!”

 “If you think my opinion would be different, maybe your opinion is wrong!”

 Bibi pulled over at the entrance of the campus. “It’s over! That’s all you need to know.”

For the first time since they’d begun to shout at each other, the girls looked at each other. They were both dangerously on the brink of crying, brows crunched together and breathing heavily.

Bibi thought that if she continued to think about him, and remember him, she wouldn’t get through this day.

“I’m not angry that you don’t want to tell me what happened.” Kj confessed, still entirely too high strung to talk at a normal volume. “That’s fine. But I am angry that you’re not okay. I miss my friend and roommate. I miss you! I don’t give a shit about Seonghwa. I want you back!”

“Well I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Kj. I’m fucked up and broken, so teach yourself how to make new friends.”

 Kj was taken aback and sprang back like she’d been burned. That hurt, but it brought her anger back to a simmering state as she clenched her teeth and nodded. “You’re hurting.” She said quietly. “But you need to let me help you get through it.”

 “Go to campus and focus on your own life.” Bibi said, all too tired to continue listening. She didn’t even really know what words were being exchanged. Her head flopped against the steering wheel and when she looked up again, Kj was gone.

 She hoped against hope that Kj didn’t make anyone bleed today.

(SONG REC: BANG CHAN- I DONT WANT TO ADMIT)

 Seonghwa was standing by the tree for almost an hour now. At first he felt like he was incognito, ducking everytime he saw a silver car pull up, but now he just seemed like a creep, especially with more and more people arriving closer to class time.

 He had to be early since he had a few details of a performance to iron out with his band mates, or at least that's what he told himself.

 "Seonghwa, the level of stalker is increasing by the second." Wooyoung reminded him, for the 6th time that morning.

 Seonghwa's face heated up in embarrassment taking in his position once again. He was only comforted by Hongjoong giving their younger friend a smack on the head with a textbook.

 "Focus Wooyoung!" Hongjoong scolded Wooyoung, and continued to tutor him on the bench nearby. He, Seonghwa and Yeosang were the only members of their band who actually cared about their academics, but they always tried to 'encourage' and 'inspire' all of them.

 By that it means it most probably involved a textbook beating, or cutting them off from practicing.

 "How much longer are we waiting?" San asked from beside him, in plain view, casually leaning against the trunk.

 "San! Get back! She'll obviously see you!" Seonghwa chided, and shoved San back to the bench.

 "THERE SHE IS THERE SHE IS!" San pointed. Seonghwa whipped around, only to be disappointed at the youngers joke, accompanied by Wooyoungs laughter. 

 He cried out in frustration and was ready to beat them both up when he caught sight of her car himself.

 At that point, he forgot everything. There was only her.

 He didn't want to do anything but take 1 single look. That's all he could afford to take. He deserved nothing else. 

  He was taken out of his reverie when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

 He didn't want to take his attention away form her but they were very persistent.

 He turned around to find San worriedly pointing at a figure on the pathway, glaring right at him.

 Ah. He should have expected this. He was busy thinking about what a big asshole he was. 

 Kj only stared, however, and continued her run toward campus.

 "She does not look happy." Wooyoung quipped. "I would be careful of that one and her resources." 

  Yeosang wasn't the type to meddle in other people's relationships. But this band became more than 'other people' to him. He would help fix any of their shit in a heart beat. And that kind of scared him. But as he stood, and watched his hyung agonize over, frankly, a very precious gem of a human, a plan began to form in his mind. 

[lockedstuck]

sorrow that you keep

March 2021 - Sollux Captor

“Vitals!” Dirk announces, rapping on your door with his knuckles. “C’mon, let’s get this over with so I can serve breakfast!”

When you walk out of your room, there’s already a line leading out of the treatment room. The person in front of you, a dark-skinned kid with an Angela Davis-style afro - Karkat, you think his name is - curses up a blue streak while he waits in line.

“I don’t see why I had to get a prissy fucking bastard with insomnia as my goddamn roommate. I didn’t ask for any of this fucking shit. Fucking involuntary status, fucking dumbshit Eridan, I hope this fucking hospital burns down.”

It’s too early to put up with this guy, especially with the migraine you woke up with.

“Not tryna piss you off or anything but do you think you could keep it down with your tirade?”

If looks could kill, the glare Karkat shoots you would have rendered you to a pile of smoldering ash.

“I haven’t had a cigarette in six days, it’s seven oh fuck in the morning, my roommate wakes up seventeen times a night, and I might be losing my job because my shithead brother signed me into this fucking place, so you can go straight the fuck to hell,” Karkat replies.

“Are you this obnoxious later in the day, or did they just forget to give you your ativan last night?”

“I don’t even take ativan, dumbfuck.” He squares up. Maybe if he weren’t five foot one, you’d actually be afraid. “I’ll knock you out if you keep talking, though.”

Behind you, a guy with eyes so dark that they might be violet moves to plant a hand on Karkat’s shoulder. It’s your roommate, Gamzee Makara, who appears to sleep for fifteen hours a day. Karkat surprisingly refrains from flinching or scowling. You probably wouldn’t scowl at this guy if you had the opportunity either; he’s easily six foot four, his hair curling around his ears and sticking out worse than Karkat’s.

“Now there’s no reason to get up an’ motherfucking truculent with the new guy so early in the morning.”

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Makara, if you tell me to calm down and wait for the morning miracles, I’ll kill you too.”

“There’s no need to wait, Karbro. The sunrise is a miracle in and of itself. When I looked at the ceiling in my room, I saw miracles. Everywhere.”

“They need to put you on haldol, man.”

“I don’t need no helldogs telling me what to do. I just go with the flow.”

“Of course,” Karkat says, almost fondly. “You and your motherfucking miracles.”

When it’s nearly Karkat’s turn for vitals, Dirk escorts Roxy over to the nurses’ station. She blows a kiss at Karkat, who raises his hand in half-salute. Ignacio walks out of the charting room and takes a look at her.

“Miss Lalonde, I have medication for you. This’ll help with the shakes, hypertension, and sweating.”

Roxy puts her hands on her hips and winks at him. “Again, cutiepie?”

Ignacio rolls his eyes at her and shakes his head, his mohawk moving slightly with the motion. He hands her a medication cup and a paper cup of water. She swallows her medication down fluidly, without drinking any of the water. That has to be an xbox achievement.

During breakfast, as Eridan continues to scowl and bitch about his lack of breakfast (he has ECT today), and Karkat tells him to stop being an overdramatic fuckass before he stabs him with a fork, Dr. Vandayar pulls you aside for one of his “no big deal” discussions.

Otherwise known as morning check-in.

Truth be told, you rather like Dr. V, or Krishna, which is what he told you that you could call him, even though he has a doctorate.

He got you access to sharps, your body wash, and your clothes. He means well, and aside from when he checks in every morning, he doesn’t force you to talk if you don’t want to.

“How are you doing today, Mr. Captor?” he asks.

You shrug. “I’m okay, I guess. Pretty much the same as yesterday.”

Then come the “one to tens”, as you’ve come to think of them. Krishna has his little clipboard balanced on his thigh.

“Urges to hurt other people, one to ten?”

You think of Karkat Vantas and that smug fucking look on his face.

“Two.” It’s always less than three. Maybe that’s why he starts with it.

“Urges to hurt yourself, one to ten?”

You contemplate yesterday’s DBT handout, Roxy’s outburst about self-destruction, and its many varying connotations.

“Eight,” you reply.

“Suicidal thoughts, one to ten?”

“Nine.”

“Active or passive?”

“Passive, mostly. Fleetingly active. I don’t want to live if I’m going to burden people, the usual.”

“Do you have any plans to seriously harm yourself on the unit?”

“No. Not here,” you say. “Everything I’d want to do would require me to be outside.”

“I see,” Krishna says. “Have you been seeing or hearing things that aren’t really there?”

“No.”

“What about feeling like people are out to get you, or sending you special messages?”

“No. Nothing like that. I get enough of that shit at home.”

Dr. V does not laugh at your attempt to joke about your chaotic home life.

If you were to be completely honest, you’re wondering when your medications are going to start working, or if they’re going to start working. Talking to the other patients has been a double-edged sword. So many of them have been on a million different drugs without relief.

Logically, you know that it’ll probably take whatever you’re on more than a week to cure you, but… You’re scared. You’re not in full control and it scares you. There’s a reason you slit your throat. There’s a reason you’re here.

You’re scared the melancholy will wrap itself around you like a shroud, and never relinquish its hold. You’re scared you’ll hate yourself and this life forever.

“I thank you for your honesty, Sollux,” Dr. V says, once he makes his notes. “Any uses of target behaviors that I should be aware of?”

“I cut myself with a plastic knife on Friday evening. Not deep enough to need medical attention, though.”

You scan his expression for evidence of emotion, but he has the mother of all poker faces. All he does is write your answers down in his incomprehensible shorthand,

“How did that make you feel?” he asks. “Remember, it didn’t necessarily have to make you feel anything.”

You shrug. “It helped relieve the tension in the moment, I guess.”

“But it also made me feel disappointed later on,” you go on. “Disappointed at myself. I’m such a fucking idiot for relapsing.”

Dr. V jots this down as well, and shuffles through his papers.

“I wouldn’t use that language to describe yourself. Ridding yourself of maladaptive coping mechanisms can be quite difficult, especially if they have worked for you in the past,” he says. “Nevertheless, do you think you need to be on one-to-one for a few days? So that you stop hurting yourself while you’re here?"

You shake your head vehemently. “Absolutely not. I won’t do what I did again.”

“That is reassuring to hear. I’ll refrain from filling out the paperwork that would put you on constant observation for self-injury. That said, though, there is something you also need to do to prevent that.”

You roll your eyes a little. “You want me to contract for safety, don’t you? Like, filling out one of those sheets that says I’ll grab someone else before I decide to hurt myself. Otherwise I end up on one-to-one, right?”

Dr. V nods at you, before going on. “Yes, that is the general idea. You may either fill it out with me later on in the afternoon, or with a member of the staff with whom you are more comfortable.”

“I’d rather fill it out with you, to be perfectly honest. I trust you.”

He smiles. “I am very glad to hear that, Sollux. I don’t have any further questions for the moment.”’

You get out of your conference with Krishna, and walk into the dayroom.  

Gamzee sits there, watching Good Morning America. He’s got a small smile on his face, and a faraway look in his eye, like he’s both here and not. You call his name to get his attention. It works, his dark eyes trained on you.

“You mind if I sit down?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “Naw, it’s cool. You can even change the channel if that’s somethin’ you wanna do.”

He’s built like a linebacker, all broad shoulders and muscles. He could probably snap you in half if he wanted to. You take the seat next to him and he smiles serenely at you.

“So what’s up?” he asks.

“Nothing, man. Just got outta session with Dr. V. He wanted to make sure I didn’t want to hurt myself.”

Gamzee looks thoughtful. He pulls a red paper flower out of his shorts and hands it to you.

“I folded that a couple days ago. You can have it, if you want.”

“For what?”

“For when you need to up an fuckin’ remember the miracles. Like we talked about last night.”

Last night, Gamzee harangued you at length about the Mirthful Messiahs, and the Dark Carnival, and with a practiced skill you have learned from your sibling’s rants about the NYPD following them, you tuned him out utterly. You really hope he doesn’t count you as a believer in his weird ass faith, which seems like some kind of psychotic juggalo cult.

He’s a nice guy, though. You know he’s not utterly harmless, but he seems easygoing enough. You fiddle around with and tear at a piece of paper until you have a square, which you then use to make a paper crane.

“Hey, Gamzee,” you say. He glances up at you.

“Yeah?”

You hand him the paper crane. “You know, the Japanese believe if you fold a thousand of these, you get a wish. I’m not folding a thousand cranes, but this is for you.”

“I will cherish it every day of my motherfucking life.”

You think he means it, too.

Art group is at 11. Katya herds everyone who wants to show up into the art room. So far, that’s you, Roxy, Karkat, June, Gamzee, Calliope, and Porrim. Karkat nods his head at you, and then inclines it toward the door. He wants to talk to you one-on-one. Whatever the fuck about?

He looks like he’s swallowed a lemon before he deigns to speak to you, all pursed lips and narrowed eyes. You’re tempted to ask him what the fuck’s eating him, and then he speaks.

“Listen. I want to apologize about earlier this morning,” he says. “I was in a foul fucking mood, and I need to work on not taking that shit out on other people.”

Wait, seriously? He can’t actually think you’re still upset about that; you get cursed out worse by your sibling on a daily basis, and that’s when they’re in a good mood.

“Accepted,” you reply. “Don’t worry about it, man.”

Faint relief breaks out on Karkat’s features.

Katya has all of you gather around before she constructs a box out of a weirdly shaped piece of cardboard that looks as if it’s been cut so that a small briefcase sized box could be constructed.

“These are what I like to call coping boxes. You make the box, and then you decorate it. You can put anything in here. Things that make you feel good, or that make you think, or handouts you get during other groups. Whatefur you want!”

She hands a box to each of you, after she puts out tempera and acrylic paint, colored markers, gel pens, and colored pencils.

You weren’t planning to keep any of your distress tolerance handouts in the box, but maybe you should. Gamzee’s staring at you while he paints, and that’s kind of weird, at least until you get a good look at how he’s decorating his coping box.

He’s painting halfway decent pictures of you, Roxy, Karkat, Calliope and Eridan on the front part of the box, with the word “friends”, in purple cursive.

He counts you as a friend even though the only thing you’ve really had to do with him was vaguely listen while he spouted his weird theories about the mirthful messiahs?

You have to hand it to him, though. Kid’s a real artist, probably - no, definitely - good enough to paint portraits for money over in Washington Square Park or something. Karkat gets a decent look at what Gamzee’s painting and blushes.

“Oh, come on, you didn’t have to put me on the damn box,” he says.

“But you are my best friend in the whole wide motherfucking universe,” Gamzee replies.

Karkat splutters something and looks like he’d like to object, then just sighs, and tells him to make sure he gets Karkat’s good side. 

“Hey, Gamzee!” Roxy calls.

“Yes, Roxybro?”

“Does painting that mean you’re gonna paint me like one ‘a’ your French girls one of these days?”

Gamzee gives this a good half-minute of thought.

“I ain’t up an’ got any motherfuckin’ French girls.”

Meanwhile, you focus on your tree. It looks like a lollipop with antennae, but whatever, that’s going to be as good as it gets. You ask Katya if you can get a piece of paper to paint on, she “of course”s you and hands you a piece of printer paper.

What will you paint today, Sollux Captor? More trees?

Tears spring to your eyes, and just when you think the worst is over, they start trailing down your face. Roxy recoils and apologizes to you, thinking she’s done something, and all you do is cry harder, you fuckup. You can’t do a goddamn thing right. Only things you’re good for are fixing computers and having nervous breakdowns.

Katya looks up from praising Calliope and Gamzee’s collaboration, and walks up to you.

“Hey - no, it’s okay, mew don’t have to cover your face - what’s wrong?”

She crouches so that she’s eye level with you as you sit in your chair. It somehow makes you feel even worse, like you’re some small child that can’t control their emotional outbursts. Come to think of it, you were like this as a kid, too. Tuna was the outgoing twin who made all the friends, and you were the twin who would start crying if you accidentally colored outside the lines.

“It’s alright. If you don’t want to paint, maybe you’d like to go for a walk?” she asks. You shake your head emphatically.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “It’s just that I’ve never really been good at artistic stuff. Sorry I suck so bad.”

“Art group is not about being good or bad stylistically,” Katya says. “It’s about expressing yourself. As long as you’re doing that, you’re fine. I like your tree. You and Roxy are both excellent at trees.”

Roxy, who has been sitting next to you, using highlighters to draw what looks either like a really bad tree or a neon colored mushroom cloud, gives you a small little smile.

“Wanna draw with me?” she asks.

At first, you assume she’s found some oblique way to hit on you the way she does everyone else, but then she hands you the bottle of black tempera paint and a couple of colored markers. You don’t know what she expects you to do with them. Your tree sucks way more than hers.

“If you can’t think of anything to draw, why not try making patterns?” Katya asks.

You guess you can do that. You start drawing red and blue circles on your piece of paper, clustering them closer and closer together. 

Apropos of nothing, you remember the time in undergrad where you and Ray couldn’t get back to campus in time to beat the blizzard. You and she slept overnight in your car, parked in a gas station. Outside, nothing but a vast, enveloping white, what you imagine death or infinity must look like. The whole world rendered down to the slope and curve of dunes and valleys.

If you think hard enough, you can feel the wind rocking the car, can imagine the sound of Ray’s teeth chattering, or the occasional slip of her hands as she does a tarot reading. Another one. Another one down, another one down, another one bites the dust, Queen playing through your radio speakers. She sits in the front passenger seat, one leg bent beneath her.

“You think we’re ever gonna get out of here?” she asks.

At this moment, you ask yourself that same question. It’s a little different, now.

You wish you could take your seven eighths of a computer engineering degree and come up with a way out of this, but you can’t. That’s your problem. You’re only you, and you’ve never been good at managing your emotions.