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anemos-orca · 1 year ago

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Zhongli's Dragon, Part 1: Geo's Call

◆Ah apologies if i get anything to do with tumblr wrong, i am very new to this platform so it will take a bit of learning qwq◆

◆cw: smut ft dom!zhongli x sub!reader, reader is half dragon, breeding kink (?), size difference, probably more qwq

◆NSFW under "keep reading" :0

series tag: #zhongli's dragon

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◆A/N: For reference, reader is a dragon girl :D you have little horns on your forehead that point up and back, long thin fluffy ears on the sides of your head, sharp teeth, clawed hands, little dragon wings, and a dramatically long fluffy tail with two rows of dorsal spikes similar to te scutes on a crocodile tail.◆

"Zhongli..?" you said almost silently, peeking your head into his office with a shy look smeared across your face. Hu Tao had informed you that your boss requested you to join him in his office for a chat, and while it wasnt an uncommon event, your nerves never ceased to tighten each time you stepped into his office.

You had been working for him as an assistant for a few months now without incident besides the occasional flirt or tease here and there- though, you had always assumed that they were nothing more than mere jokes. However, you had to admit, you found your boss quite attractive. But then again, who wouldnt? He was tall, very tall, towering over your little form as though he were Mt. Hulao itself looking down at a fragile little Qingxin flower. Not only that, but his alluring voice, his intoxicatingly good looks, his formal verbiage, his intense yet kind gaze- wait, you were here for a reason!

Zhongli looks up from his paperwork, gently settling his writing quill back into the pot of ink before crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back in his fancy leather chair, "Ah, (y/n), thank you for joining me. Please, have a seat." He said as his hand motioned to the empty seat on the other side of the desk, the same seat you found yourself in each time he summoned you to his office. You nodded, nervously clasping your clawed hands together and wrapping your flowing tail over your lap before settling down in your familiar spot.

"Thank you, Sir. How may I assist you?" You asked quietly, your silky ears perking up in quite the adorable manner. A faint smile tugged at the corners of Zhonglis lips and he opened an arm over the desk, offering for you to take the pre-poured cup of tea if you so desired.

"Please, there is no need for such formalities this evening. I have merely summoned you as your friend, not your boss." Zhongli said, his voice buttering you up as always.

"As a friend, Sir?" You asked, your head cocking to the side and your wings tightening against your back in confusion- he had never said such a thing before. You gingerly sip your tea, graceful as ever. Zhongli nods slowly, his eyes momentarily shutting.

"Yes, my dear. I could not help but to have taken notice to your stress levels recently, so i decided it would be best to ask if you would like assistance in any way to ease your mind." He explains, his fingers pressing together as his piercing eyes open once more to meet yours. "Stress can be difficult to manage, especially for dragons. Although you are only half dragon, it is advisable to manage your stressors in order to avoid the dangerous, unwanted side effects."

You cant help but to blush a bit and begin to nervously fidget with the tail of your fur. Your ears push back in anxiety and your heart skips a beat. Had your stress really been that noticeable? You considered his sentiments for a moment, shyly looking down to your lap.

"I-I mean, i guess ive... been a bit more stressed than usual as of late..." you stammered, meeting his blazing gaze, "B-but its nothing to worry about, really! I-I... guess my human side mitigates the, er... side effects." You lied, shrinking back a bit.

Zhongli sat back in his chair once more, his arms crossing over his chest as a brow knowingly raises.

"Tsk tsk, my dear (y/n), you must know that I can tell if you are lying. You might as well turn green from spewing such heedless equivocations. There is no hiding such things, especially from your own kin." He lightly scolded you, your ears further flattening against your head as your cheeks blush brighter against your will.

You had known from the day you met him that he was also a dragon- after all, a dragons sense of smell is far better than that of a humans, so picking one of your own kind out of a crowd of hundreds was a walk in the park. It was something the two of you bonded over, being the only dragons in Liyue Harbor, and it was the reason you sought him out in the first place. After having job application after job application turned down due to the dragon features that graced your body and your vehemently quiet nature, you gathered the courage to ask Morax himself if he would hire you. He did so without hesitation.

Because you were both dragons, Zhongli knew what such high levels of stress could do to you- angry outbursts, heightened hoarding instincts, feral, animal like reactions to the smallest of inconveniences- and he knew that it would soon become a serious issue that would take a long, long break from work to fix, which he couldnt have. Despite having worked as his assistany for only a few months, you were his right hand- his most valuable peer within the work force of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor- all due to the fact that you two could understand one another without so much as a word. It was common sense: dragons knew dragons best.

"(yn)." Zhongli cooed, snapping you back into reality and out of your flustered thoughts, "While I can not force you to take my advice, I highly suggest that we work together in order to find a way to manage this stress. There are several methods known to help with quick stress relief, though i believe there is a particular activity humans participate in on a regular basis to see the immediate relief of high levels of stress, and, from what i have seen and heard over the years, i can confirm that it is quite effective. In fact, I believe it to be the most effective method when dealing with such intense stress." He explained, lifting his hand to hold his chin in thought. "Though, i do realize that this activity is... something humans consider to be a sacred, private act."

Was he really saying this? Was this real? You were convinced this must be a dream or some kind of stress-induced hallucination. You knew what he was talking about, you knew what he was implying, and it made your cheeks flush a demeaningly bright red as your heart tried to escape the confines of your chest. "Sir- uh, Zhongli, I-I..." You tripped over every word, not able to get out a single coherent thought before being silenced by Zhonglis stern gaze. "It is not a requirement of you, as I do know how touchy this topic tends to be within the social conventions of humans, but if it is something you wish for, i may be able to lend a helping hand in this stress relief." He offered, his brows raising as he awaits your response.

You felt as though you were going to die right then and there. Did he know what he did to you every day? What his gentle touch and soothing voice put you through each time you interacted? He must, how could he not- he could read you like an open book considering the way your ears and tail reacted so strongly to each emotion you felt. They might as well be a string of lanterns hung up in the night sky with how well they spelled out each of your feelings.

You sheepishly looked up to him, your heart thumping as though it was on fire and your mind slightly fogged with apprehensive thoughts of both want and need, and you nodded.

"Ah, very well. I am pleased to know that you hold this level of trust with me. I shall do everything in my power to keep it that way." He gives a small smirk, lifting his head a bit as he looks you over. "Tell me, my dear (y/n), do I assume correctly that you have never been with a mate?" He asks.

You nod, fervently fidgeting with the silky fluff of your dramatically long tail. "I-I..." you stutter, gulping hard. "Ive never done this before, s-so would you mind leading the way? I-I trust that you to know what t-to do..." you quietly coo, looking up to him with doe-eyes. Zhonglis small smirk turns to a sly grin as he oh-so majestically lifts himself from his chair and walks around the desk to stand in front of you.

"Is that so, (y/n)? Are you sure of this?" He asked, wanting to confirm that letting him take control was what you wanted. You lifted your gaze to meet his, your pupils blown out in arousal, and you nod a number of times. Unsatisfied, Zhongli reaches a gloved hand down to hold your jaw and force you to truly look up at him, "I must hear a verbal agreement in order to continue. So, my dear (y/n), tell me..." He slowly leans down, his mouth hovering dangerously close to your long, fluffy ear as his hot breath caresses your neck, "What is it, exactly, that you trust me with doing?" He teases. Without even seeing it, you can feel the devious smirk on his face.

You gulp hard, your breath hitching in your chest as you feel the fog of need shroud your mind- and you liked it. You slightly squirm in your seat, the heat and tension in your core becoming far more than noticeable as your wings begin to shiver against your back. "I-I trust you with my body, I... I trust you to mate with me."

Satisfied with both your response and the way you writhe under his breath just from talking alone, he hooks his arms under your knees and lifts you against his chest, earning a surprised yelp as your arms clamber to wrap around his shoulders. He sits you down on his desk, standing between your spread knees with your legs dangling over the edge. "I can confidentley promise you that once we are finished, you will not have the slightest clue as to why you were stressed in the first place."

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◆A/N²: I hope it was not too bad to read qwq i will continue this very soon :D◆

#zhongli #zhongli smut #zhongli x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #◆zhongli's dragon

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cherryo · 1 year ago

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nsfw alphabet for Denji <3

Nsfw alphabet Denji!!!

this is entirely self indulgent!! ive been drooling over him for the past month

warnings: pregnancy, collars, creampie and fem genitalia

A- Aftercare (what theyre like afterwards)

At first I doubt he really knew what to do and would leave you with cum all over and in you while he would just roll over. As soon as he knew what it was hes like THE KING OF IT!!!! Hes bringing anything you need or want!! Water? He’s jumping off the bed to grab a cup and pitcher with water and ice. A nice bath? Hes got it running already and will happily wash you!! I really think he would do anything for the one he loves so this is easy for him.

B- Body (what their favorite body part is of themselves and their partner)

His favorite of himself I think would probably be his arms? Idk why he just screams arms guy? Hes proud of the muscle and how easily he can pick you up and fold you in half with them.

Boobs. Nah fr though its definitely titties, small, big, medium? It does not matter!!! Hes leaving hickies all over them and taking care of them <3 kneeding and massaging, grabbing to stabilize himself if hes on top! For sure sucking on them if hes on the bottom!

C - Cum (anything to do with cum)

Okay,,,,I think he loves cumming on and in you, but LOVES LOVES LOVES cumming in you!!!cant handle it when you consent to him letting go inside of you, hes a freak. If he can come in you, you better be prepared cause to him that means hes gotta do it as many times as he can before pulling out!!!

I do think he loves cumming on you and seeing the visible evidence of what you guys did, he cleans it up when you ask but he really just wants it to be on you the entire time yall are fucking.

D- Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

Hes obsessed with panty sniffing, or anything to do with panties, he wants to fuck you while theyre on, have a pair on his dick while he jerks off. The whole nine yards, when you two fuck and are too feral or lazy to fully undress he goes bonkers. Loves the idea and action of pushing your panties to the side so he can slide in!!!

He also wants you to sit on his face!!!

He has so many of these but he wants to wake up/wake you up to being given head!! Or being fucked ;)

E- Experience (how experienced they are)

None. I think he thinks hes like a sex god after reading and watching porn, but alas when he goes to do it he realizes just how difficult it is to pleasure a girl and maintain rhythm.

Hes a quick learner though

F- Favorite position

DOGGY OHML HE GOES FUCKING FERAL!!! He loves bending you over and gripping your hips to pound into you. The thought of being able to push your head into your pillows or whatever surface you’ve been bent onto.

He also likes a good ol’ mating press, he likes seeing the faces you make and seeing just how far you can be folded in half. He also loves the fact that he can reach a deeper spot in this position and how fast it makes you cum! The easy access to your clit is also a bonus.

G-Goofy (how serious or goofy they are during the moment)

I think hes extremely goofy, his personality doesnt change at all <3 he thinks its sweeter if he can make jokes and be himself rather than become serious and not be himself!

H-Hair (how groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes)

Not groomed at all, he feels more naked shaved and waxed. He really only trims it, I feel like he would have like a forest down there! He really loves when his hair down there is wet from the both of yalls juices <3

I think his pubes are darker than the hair on his head!

I- Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect of it)

Honestly, I think in general hes very romantic and strives to be intimate. However in this situation he has no room to be romantic, he’s pussy drunk and cannot think of anything else than your pussy and body and the fact hes fucking you

J-Jackoff (how often do they masturbate?)

This mans right arm is jacked. He does it like twice every day, he has so much cum that even if he does that he can easily fuck you for HOURS later. He usually does it in the morning to get rid of his morning wood <3 that’s really only if youre not in bed with him.

He enjoys it, he also really enjoys mutual masturbation, he thinks its really nice

K-Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink: highest kink I think he has, he doesn’t necessarily want kids now or later (I highly doubt he wants to bring kids into this life lol) but the thought of you being round with HIS kid makes him go crazyyyyyy!!! He also likes not using condoms or pulling out (he’ll do either if you ask him to!)

Praise: we know from the manga that he goes insane for praise, specifically from girls. When you tell him hes a good boy, he goes 10x faster just to hear you moan it out again and again. If you tell him hes making you feel good or doing a good job, he’ll moan and whine out thank yous

L-Location (their favorite place to do it)

Mostly his or your rooms, hes not comfortable with doing it in public or anywhere not in his apartment.

M-Motivation (what gets them going? What turns them on?)

Literally anything you do, like you could be folding laundry and hed pounce on you. If you were dresses or skirts just be aware of him lifting the back of it up and pounding you from behind.

Knee high socks, frilly socks, leg warmers, the whole thing. I feel he likes the look of those accessories, he just goes feral for them.

Hes already horny 24/7 so hes ready to go all the time.

N-No (something they wouldnt do)

Public sex. Hes very protective and slightly obsessive over you and wants no one but him to see you so vulnerable (and sexy)

Threesomes, I feel like a lot of people want him and aki to have a 3some with the reader but I don’t think hed want that? As hot as it is lol I love reading those fics but for the same reasons I doubt he actually would do that

O-Oral (do they like head? Giving or receiving more?)

YES YES YES!!! HE LOVES GETTING HEAD AND GIVING HEAD!!!

He feels so so so good every time you give him head, I think his dick is super super sensitive especially his tip!

He loves making you feel good and what other than eating you out and giving you orgasm over and over again would make you feel good lol also smth about eating you out whether hes on top of you or youre sitting on his face, he loves it. Like goes insane for it!!!

P-Pace (are they going rough and fast? Slow and sensual?)

Rough and fast!!! He feels so good like that! If you ask him to slow down he will but he’d rather go at a fast and bruising pace!

Q- Quickie (their opinions, how often)

None in public BUT AT YALLS HOUSE? YES YES YES!!!! This man has to work HARD not to come immediately after he slips in, so this is perfect for him! Especially if hes sleepy and wants to do it but also wants to sleep

R-Risk (are they game to experiment?do they take the risk?)

Yes and no? I think hed be against it in public, but if his friends are staying over and you/him are horny then YES!!! He loves the thought of people hearing how good he makes you feel but just not seeing you

S-Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

At first none, like literally two pump king. After a while though when hes built it up hed be able to go 10 rounds easily!

T-Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He has none for himself but hes got different vibrators for you, especially those panty vibrators with the controllers >:)

I think he would be open to cock rings though!

U-Unfair (how much they like to tease )

Oh my fucking god!!!!! He doesn’t mean to be but he just needs you to have the best orgasm every time, so if it doesn’t sound good to him then he’ll let you cool down and try again. No matter how many times it needs to be restarted. He also accidentally overstims the both of you by never pulling out and continuously fucking you.

V-Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make?)

Good lord, this man is so fucking loud!!!!!! Like holy shit hes moaning, groaning, whining, grunting, sounding like a fucking animal with growling theyre such intense and hot sounds that you just cant get enough of them.

W-Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

This is completely based on the first volumes cover and the fact hes referred as a dog/puppy throughout the series but I think he would love to have one of those giant clunky collars on. maybe not necessarily into the whole ‘leash and collar’ thing but more of just he pressure on his neck that your hands cant provide

X-X-ray (lets see whats going on under those clothes)

OKAY OKAY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!!!

Big dick.

No but really, definitely 7 inches hard, I wanna say hes a show-er rather than a grower.

Curves slightly to the right and very veiny!! Its really pink, super sensitive and leaky.

Y-Yearning ( how high is their sex drive?)

Hes yearning 25/8!!!!!! He knows how to some what control himself,,,,,,but hes constantly wanting to be inside your warm pussy. He wants to go round after round, once he got a taste he just cant get enough. Z-ZZZ (how fast do they fall asleep after?) HES OUT ONCE YOU GUYS ARE DONE FOR SURE. Hes so so so so sleepy all the time, so when youre satisfied and hes satisfied and hes done his duty of aftercare, hes out.

#chaserambles #chasewrites #denji #denji x reader #denji smut #chainsaw man #csm smut #csm x reader #x reader

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vivipokedex · 6 months ago

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OKAY HI IM BACK. im really really sorry about the unexpected hiatus. i will send everyone still in the queue proper updates and finished commissions by friday ^_^ in the meantime im opening two commission slots, which i will be doing over the weekend, so if youre interested in that, feel free to send me a dm.

ive also got some sketches for next pokedex entries (finally! geeze... im so sorry meditite) that i cant wait to finish and show you!

once again, i apologize for the absence. i know it mustve been a little concerning to basically see me disappear all of a sudden but long story short i once again had to deal with health issues AND i got a job which covers my bills at least but was really really hectic for the first month and a half--they kept going back and forth on what exactly i was supposed to be doing and for a while there i had been bombarded with work that, in its sheer amount AND difficulty AND credentials required, went faaaaar beyond my pay level LOL. plus a lot of unhelpful feedback and poor communication overall on top. so that was really really stressful. so i got completely overwhelmed mentally and needed to take a break from... everything, pretty much. but thats been sorted out now, so: here i am!

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theblueflower05 · 2 years ago

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The Sweetest Sylaung

A/N: So I def didn’t mean to write a novel long Neteyam smut story but here we are. Debating on making this a mini series. Also the anon that requested a “curvy” reader insert- here ya go!(she’s also an Augustine- buttttt you can only see that if you squint lol)

Word Count: 6k+

Warnings: This is smut. Pure smut. Please don’t read if it is not your jam. You are in charge of cultivating your own online experience, you’ve been warned!

Pairing: Aged Up! Neteyam x Human!Curvy!Reader

Summary: After an “accidental” romp in the forest, you do your best to avoid Neteyam. It’s for everyone’s good, or so you’ve convinced yourself.

“I’m begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans. That’s my man”- Willow, Taylor Swift

The kaleidoscope of colors explode under your eyes in endless patterns and shapes as you look over the sample of Pandora flora under the heavy duty microscope. This particular piece of the Moons terra had never been discovered before, only blooming at what you estimated to be every ten or so years, under the right monsoon like conditions

At least that’s what you had discovered so far.

The flower, which sprouted into a berry, and then dissipated into a moss like cluster of microorganisms all within its short life cycle had turned into your passion project. You we’re doing your thesis on it, the last step in getting your Masters.

You’d gone through schooling on a computer screen, guided by the greatest minds on Earth that had relocated to Pandora. Scientists of all fields who you’d grown up around. None of them had been surprised when you’d picked up botany. Xenobotany to be exact.

It was in your blood.

The desk your at shakes violently- disturbing your precision like focus. Breaking you straight out of your zone.

“Ugh” you groan, frustrated, raising your head, eyes narrowing at the culprits.

Spider, Lo’ak and Kiri freeze like deers in the headlights of your fury. Spiders arm raised, a wad of paper balled up in his hand, aimed to shoot. He lowers it slowly as the weight of your your heavy gaze zero’s in.

“Sorry, cu-”

“I told you guys, if you cant behave to get the fuck out” You seethe. Your nerves are paper thin anyway. Too much screen time frying your brain something fierce as you focused in on your studies. “Is that not what I said, verbatim?”

“You need to chill. You’ve been so high strung lately. Come hang out with us” Lo’ak suggests smooth and unhelpful. As usual. “When was the last time you left the lab?”

You roll your eyes and bite your tongue, trying not to say anything to scalding to the surprisingly sensitive Sully brother. “No thanks. I’ve gotta focus”

“Maybe Lo’aks right” Kiri starts, her face screwing up as she speaks “Eywa that sounds wrong. Nevermind, My brother is never right- but you should come hang out with us. Let’s go swimming- the watering hole is over flowing from the storms”

The deep sigh through your nose isn't calming, even though you pretend it is. You know they mean well, in the most annoying way. That you’d been buried in books and paperwork in the lab for the past couple months.

Hiding from the outside world within the thick walls of Hell’s Gate.

“Can’t. This is important, Kir- but why don’t you guys head down there? Its closer to Home Tree and its almost curfew anyway” two birds, one stone. Its a smart suggestion- but Kiri’s face falls, shoulders sagging and ears lowing. That look had always gotten you-

“I cant today, but maybe tomorrow? The samples are too fresh and I don't want to put them on ice…But I think Max made those Yovo cookie things” That’s only half of the truth, but luckily Kiri’s always been understanding.

She grabs your elbow in her long fingers and tugs you along.

The mess hall had seen better days, but the large open space still tends to be the meeting ground for the humans that were allowed to stay and inhabit the moon. With twelve foot tall ceilings and airtight exits and windows that lead out to the Avatar Program training yards. Its a common room of sorts, a place where everyone gathers. For meals, for mismatched Holidays. But mostly for gossip.

I mean, what else is there to do?

Like currently, you’re deeply engrossed in the story that Doctor Martinez’s, Xeno-Zoologist is recounting. All dramatics and dirty intimate details “It’s true, they’re gonna bring it before Mo’at and everything”

He’s talking about Trevino and Eital’i.

Everyone had heard the whispers, seen the not so subtle signs. The main Radio Tower operator had turned during the resistance, had fought beside Jake and had been allowed to stay on Pandora- better stuck on a foreign planet then thrown in a familiar jail cell. Trevino’s a cool guy, really.

A cool guy who had been sleeping with a Na’vi woman, apparently. The two had kept it under wraps, really private. No one could pin down how or when it happened,,,but to go to the clan’s Tsahik seeking a mating blessing? That’s major.

“You’re lying” you accuse in a gasp as the table breaks into whispers, all wide eyes and shaking heads. “They’re going to mate?...How?”

“It’s not like it hasn't happened before” Another scientist chimes in casually. Like it’s a known thing.

Which it kind of is.

Taboo, yes. But not unheard of, more like untalked about.

Humans and the Na’vi of the forest had lived in close quarters since the overthrow of the RDA. Jake, the standing Olo’eyktan, just had a little too much homosapien in him. Yeah, he’d survived the soul transfer and fully inhabited his blue body- but he never quite grew out of his human roots.

It had been hard, lots of politicking and good grace shown on both parts, but somehow, like all biomes in the vast perma green forest, all had learned to live in harmony. Most Omitikaya kept their distance. Very hesitant about the human presence. They had every right to be scared, hostile. Scarred by man and its weapons and its destruction.

Others had been raised in close proximity to Grace’s school. Had become accustomed to the nearly two decade long human presence on Pandora. Curious and accepting.

You’d heard about interspecies hookups.

Locker room talks that left your ears burning and your heart racing. It usually came from members of the Avatar Program- It tends to set a precedent, when the quote on quote “royal family” of the Omiticaya is a Jarhead and a native woman.

Na’vi are gorgeous, tall and lean but humanoid enough to be familiar…you’re not exactly sure what they see in humans but you know damn well what you guys see in them.

“How do you think that works? The…physicality of it all I mean. Trevino doesn't have an Avatar. How do they fuck-”

You’re not the only one zoning out from the conversation and it’s lewd turn.

You watch Kiri watch Spider and your heart aches for her. What they have is secret, delicate and forbidden. As a woman with high standing in the clan, you knew that her feelings for the boy wouldn't go anywhere. Couldn't.

When they we’re kids, it was cute. Now that they 're both technically adults, it was just plain stupid.

You tell her of the fact, often.

Kiri tells you to stop projecting.

———

The Sully Kid’s are always late. It’s like no matter how hard they try, they cant make curfew. You throw on an Exopack, hurrying them to the fence.

“Yeah, yeah okay mom. Take it easy” Lo’ak shrugs huffily as you yank hard on his arm. “I’m going, Y/N!”

“Not fast enough you strumbeast’s ass! You’re gonna get me into trouble, who do you think your dad’s gonna blame when you guys end up back at Home Tree super late again? Norm chewed me out for that shit last time!” You man handle the much taller than you alien.

Kiri and Spider a few leagues in front of you, already at the mouth of the giant fence. They’re awkward, not in their usual synched steps. You wonder how much of that conversation earlier had gone to their heads?

You’re bickering with Lo’ak, an extremely normal occurrence. He can be a real douche. and had been kind of insufferable lately. You think its nerves about his impending Iknamaya.

So engrossed with getting them on their way home that you don't even notice him until it’s too late.

Neteyam is a skilled hunter, through and through. The youngest in the clan to ever make a kill. Swift and quiet. Beloved.

But around you he feels out of his element. Clunky and awkward, no matter how hard he tries to play it off its like you can see right through him. Its scary and thrilling, sets his stomach alive with butterflies everytime. This is no different.

Showing up to Hell’s Gate to retrieve his siblings was something he had done since he was a child.

He’d used to bleed hours away playing with them at the scientists fortress, but as he had gotten older and his responsibilities had grown heavier- he had little time for it. Still, when ever his parents would send him out on a one man search party to bring them home, he’d jump at the chance.

At the hope of seeing you.

You’re arguing with his little brother, trying not to laugh at something he said and Neteyam knows. He knows he shouldn't feel jealous but he just cant help it. Cant help the acidic twist of his insides.

Especially when he chirps out his family's familiar call, letting his presence be known.

And watches that pretty smile fall right off of your face.

“You’re late, as usual” His voice has a stern edge. It’s annoying, the role he has to play. Kiri is a woman grown, Lo’ak just weeks away from being the same. He doesnt blame them for the way their feathers bristle, almost viscerally.

“Ah, big brother you didn't have to come all this way to get us” Kiri reassures, patting Neteyam on the chest good naturedly. “We we’re just about to be on our way”

Neteyam notices the way you try to look anywhere else but him. It stings because he cant stop looking at you, cant pry his eyes away from your form.

“You all should start heading back before dad notices” Neteyam starts. His father had been busy as of late, harvest season abundant and fruitful this year because of the heavy rain season “I’ll catch up, I need to speak with Norm”

“What? Dad cant use the coms now, he has to send his messenger” Lo’ak’s nose scrunches a little, always questioning. On a normal day it wouldn't affect Neteyam so much, just a normal jab from his snot nosed little brother.

Not today. Not when he’s stretched so thin. Not when you refuse to look at him but are staring at the side of Lo’ak fat head. It feels wrong, makes his skin heat up to the point that it feels itchy and tight.

“That's none of your concern. Head back to Home Tree. Now” He doesn't normally throw his weight around. But he feels the need to puff up big in front of you “Those are orders. Get out of here”

Lo’ak’s less offended and more surprised. One of his oh so human eyebrows cocks, a sly remark in his throat before he scoffs. “Aye, Aye Captain Kiss Ass. C’mon Kiri let's go. See you later Spider, Y/N”

He deuces up Spider, gives Y/N a pat on her small shoulder and glares harshly at his brother before he disappears into the thick brush of the jungle.

Kiri wraps her arms around you in a strong hug, muttering about ‘swimming’ and ‘promises’. The small impish smile she shoots Spider gives YOU butterflies so you don't blame the way he swoons, before she’s off behind her younger brother.

“I can go find Norm for you, bro. I think he’s still out in his Avv, but Max can radio him back in” Spider is none the wiser. Doesn't notice the heavy tension that simmers on a low bubble. Oblivious, as usual.

“Yeah, sure” Neteyam replies, barely sparing the human boy a glance. He’d feel bad for it later, when he could form coherent thought. When his brain wasn't on Y/N issued override.

Spider chatters, good natured. He never got to see the Olo’eyktan in training anymore. He missed his homie.

“Well, I should be heading back. You guys have a good rest of your night-” You’re already turning on your heels when you make the announcement, eager to get back inside. Back behind the safe walls of the lab- far away from Neteyam.

“No”

Neteyam who stares at you with all too knowing eyes. He looks straight through you like he can see through your clothes, through your thinly veiled escapism attempts. He reaches out, wraps his long fingers around the top of your arm and tugs you back to him. Gentle, but very firm.

He doesn't have to say it- it’s written all over his face. Not this time. He’s not going to let you run away from him.

“Netey-” You start in a whine, tugging on his hold. He doesnt relent, if anything his fingers tighten as his eyes narrow. Dangerous, desperate.

“Just talk to me” it’s a barely concealed plea, his tail twitches anxiously behind him “I'm just asking for five minutes. Please Y/N”

Spiders oblivious, yes. Stupid? No. He doesnt know exactly what's going on between the two of you but has clued into the fact that it’s heavy and he wants no part of it.

The excuse he makes is shit- he’ll just go find Norm. Yeah… he’s so out of there.

“What is wrong with you?” You hiss as you watch Spiders awkward, quick retreating form. Eyes flickering over the empty for now training yards “So much for keeping it lowkey, huh? Could you be anymore obvious?”

“What’s wrong with me?” Neteyam is almost shaking with disbelief “What the fuck is wrong with you? You havent talked to me in over a month. Everytime I make any kind of attempt you bolt. I dont-” He sighs, pinching the wide bridge of his nose with the hand that isnt holding onto you.

He looks tortured. Tired. Run a little ragged.

Beautiful.

“I don't know what I did? If this is about that day in the forest-”

You sigh at his words, once again pulling on his hold. Shaking your head desperately because you can't.

You can't talk about it. Fuck, you’ve been trying not to even think about it.

And failing as you replay the event over and over again the darkness of your bunk. Hyper fixating on the way that his lips had felt against yours. Oh the way that his big hands had worked your body over

“Don’t” you whisper “Please don’t”

You’d never been one to beg for pity, for mercy but that’s what you do now. Beg him to let you out of his tight clutches. Metaphorically and physically.

“You’re all I can think about” It's a gutted admittance, but Neteyam makes it all the same “That night- I can’t sleep. I can barely eat- I’m falling behind on my duties because I keep coming back here. Standing outside this fence and waiting for you. I know you could hear me over the coms, right?”

And you could, a few weeks or so ago.

When he’d begged you to come out. To come speak to him. His voice so appealing that you’d almost caved. You’d had to turn off your receiver. Had sat with your head in your hands for hours as you fought the urge to crawl to him, knees raw and your bloody heart on a platter only he could divulge in.

He shuffles closer, all lean strong muscle. Firm, unmovable. “You heard me”

“Of course I did”

“And you still left me out here” He scoffs, head shaking slightly as his adams apple bobs, his ears are pinned to the sides of his head in obvious distress “I could never do that shit to you.”

“One of us needs to be the adult in this situation” Your voice is as strong as you can make it. Trying to speak reason on to both of you “We can pretend it never happened and go back to the way that things were before. You’re my friend, Tey”

You reach up, stroking at his wrist. Trying to soften him enough for him to let this go. Let you go.

He’s trying to control his breathing, all that training for all of those years for what? One fragile human girl to make him completely unspool? To lose any and all composure he’d worked so hard to gain.

He was always the adult, in all situations. Had been born with a neck cramping crown on his head. Shrouded in pressurized glory.

“If this is me being childish, so be it. Where has pretending gotten you, huh? Look at you, yawntutsyìp. you look so tired. When was the last time you slept? Kiri says you spend days in the lab without resting”

His hands, both of them, come up to cup your face. Huge and calloused. Yet he holds you like you're something precious. A small animal, a rare gem. His whole entire world since he was just a boy.

Neteyam thumbs at the cool glass of your mask, tenderly. The bags under your eyes are sunken and bruised. “Don’t shut me out”

Your body, in its entirety, clenches at his words. Velvet and sincere. He’s a fucking dream. Your head leans into his hands, neck sagging of its own accord as any and all words of protest leave your weak mind.

He makes you so easy.

“Let me in…I dont want there to be this distance between us anymore” He hisses around the word distance. Hating even having to say it “I want to be inside of you again”

Your plump lower lip gets skewered between your teeth, eyes screwed shut as you remember the last time. Your first ever time being full…you’d dreamt of it every night since it had happened.

If it wasn't for the blasted mask and your need for Earth’s oxygen he’d kiss you. Right here right now. He didn't really give a shit who saw or what they had to say.

Instead pulls you into his chest, lets you wind your arms around his lean middle and bury your chest in his diaphragm. Its as close as he can get you, for now. Makes you cling to him the way that he’d clung to every thought of you for the last weeks.

You wish it was lungfuls of his skin that you were taking as you try to bring yourself down from this abrupt shaky high. You dont get it, how your relationship couldve flipped this hard in such a short time.

He had always just been Neteyam. A shameless flirt yes- but that’s all it was.

“Would you like that?” He questions, hands working through your hair. Fingers light and soothing on your scalp. Massaging the thoughts right out of your head.

“Hmm?”

“If I was inside you again?” He presses on. You can feel the tickle of his long, thin, tail as it wraps around the back of your calf and you groan, digging your nails into his back.

“You’re such an asshole. Stoppppp it” You’re embarrassed and turned on and already feel stupid enough, he doesn't need to rub it in. His chest shakes as he chuckles.

“I’m serious. Tell me you want it-”

“Neteyam! Hey!”

The two of you break apart in an instant. You jump away from him as though struck by lightning. Instantly putting enough distance between you and the Na’vi that maybe, just maybe an onlooker might think that the embrace was friendly.

It’s Norm, having heard that the eldest Sully was looking for him he’d come eagerly.

The smile you plaster on is forced and honestly, Neteyam doesnt fair any better. He’s obviously flustered, just glad that his erection isn't tenting his tweng.

“Spider told me you and your dad are looking for me. I’m not intruding on uh anything, am I?” Norm looks between the two of you.

Your arms are folded tightly over your chest and Neteyam is rubbing at the back of his neck, strong jaw flexing as his teeth grind.

Oh yeah, Norm had definitely interrupted something.

Knows for sure as you scurry away. As Neteyam, always so level headed, has to string together words. Stumbling a little bit as he tries to remember the message that Jake had relayed.

It’s not any of his business, he thinks at the time. He sure didnt want to be the one to shine the light on whatever the hell was going on here. Turning a blind eye to the mysteries of Pandora is the only way to survive the harshest terrain known to man.

———

You dont know that though-

No, you’re spiraling more a little bit as you prepare yourself for bed. Brushing through your thick hair and staring out into space as your mind assaults you with all of the gnarly ‘What If’s’

Norm had seen and he had to know right? Oh god, what if he told Jake?

You balk. Lowering the brush as your eyes bulge out of your head.

What if he told Neytiri?

That's actually a super horrific thought. Like nightmarish. You have a lot of respect for the future Tsahik...

…And a very healthy does of fear. She didnt like humans and made it known. She tolerated them only for her husband's benefit. What if she found out that her eldest son, her golden boy, had fucked one?

You’re freak out is interrupted by static, by the beeping of your com receiver on your night stand.

“Y/N?” its Neteyams muffled voice through the device. You’d ignored it once. You should ignore it again…

“Yeah?” you wonder if he picks up on how shaky you sound through the receiver.

“Tomorrow night meet me at the East Gate. Like when we we’re kids” he’s not really asking. Not demanding either. You could ignore him again, but he has to try.

The line goes silent, quiet for minutes on end.

“Y/N?”

You’re so stupid. “What time?”

You can hear the grin he’s sporting as he replies “0100”

“Got it, over. Good night, Neteyam. Go to sleep”

———

The East Bay is on the other side of the large fortress-like building. It's not that it's forbidden, or anything. but it is deserted. It’s where the military personnel had inhabited, and since most if not all of them had gotten the hard boot off Pandora it was empty as a ghost town in these maze like halls.

When you we’re younger; you’d caught Spider sneaking Kiri and Lo’ak in through the rarely used entrance. You’d demanded the know how, if he didnt want you to rat on him for it. It was a rare occurrence, but the Sully children had all been snuck into Hell’s Gate this way over the years.

You type in the codes, disabling the alarm system in order to usher Neteyam into the pressurized, air lock. You’d toted one of the Avatar Exopacks along for him, they’re heavier then hell but he’d need it.

“Hi” you smile, suddenly shy as the tall Na’vi man stands before you.

That's what he was now. A man, not only in the eyes of his people but as a whole. Broad and muscular, strong. Verile. The next leader of his people. You know that he’s highly desired in his clan. Women fawn over him. Vie for his attention.

It doesnt feel real that he wants to give it to you.

You’re nothing special. Not tall and stunning like the Omaticaya women. Even by Earth’s standards you're short, curvy. Not particularly pretty. Insecurity gnaws at you, as it so often does.

“C’mere” Neteyam urges, boldly yanking you by your waist. Pulling you flush against his body. Grabby and insistent, he wants to feel your bare skin. All plush and soft, hes been dying to taste it since the last time.

Kicking himself over and over for not savoring every bit of your body that you gave to him. He won't make the same mistake again.

He’s not gonna lie, the concrete and metal of the walls inside of Hell’s Gate have always made him a little claustrophobic. But he can't do this outside-

His lips capture yours, demanding and needy from the jump. Big, over powering, he swallows your little chirp of surprise. Devours any and all breath from your lungs. Its messy and so good. You hadn't gotten to kiss him last time.

His mouth tastes amazing, his tongue rough in texture just like you remembered. It grates your lips as you suck on it-

“Hey, slow down a little bit” You giggle as Neteyam paws at your ass, lifting you off the ground until you squirm hard, making him release you “Not here, we can't do this here there’s cameras everywhere”

“I don't care” Neteyam pecks all over your face, trying to recapture your mouth as you avoid him “Let them watch, most of those pervs would like it”

And they would know that you’re his. The thought is beyond heady.

You gasp as his sharp canines ghost over the delicate skin of your neck, nibbling on your pulse point “Please- Neteyam”

You firmly push him away, hand on his chest and maybe if you hadn't cut him off cold turkey he would've given you space. Could've pulled away for a moment to let you say your piece. Instead the idea of letting you pull away even an inch is unbearable to him.

No. instead he tosses you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He hauls loads heavier then you every day, your protests mean little to him. With his free hand he scoops up the Avv Exo Tank,

“Where to, yawntutsyìp?”

Where too is an old conference room. Its as good as any, and Neteyam yanks a couple cushions off the old couch to act as a brace for your head as he lowers you to the floor, flat on your back.

You’re so pretty like this, he tells you of the fact.

With your hair a mess behind you, your face free of that damned mask. Grinning up at him as you rub your thighs together. He wishes he had that camera that his dad liked to take pictures on. He wants this moment of you framed, immortalized.

“I hate sky people clothes” He mutters as he tugs on the hem of your t-shirt. It hides you, hides all that skin he craves.

“You want me to take it off?” You offer eagerly, raising up enough to start peeling the piece of clothing off. You’re bare underneath, completely. Your breasts jiggle as they’re freed, nipples peaked in the cool air-conditioned air.

“Don’t ever put it on again” He demands, taking it from your hands and tossing it across the room. He’s dead serious, but by the way you're giggling you obviously think its a joke.

He can’t help it, he dives in face first. Rubbing against your soft breasts, obsessed with the way they feel. Heavy, pillowy. He drags his tongue across all of your bare skin. From your clavicle to your nipple. You always smell so pretty, but its got nothing on the way you taste. It explodes bright and savory on his tastebuds.

You let him explore, until your spit soaked and shaking. Your panties sticky as your hips search for any kind of friction. “I need you”

“You have me, my love. All of me” your eyes water at his words. At the sincerity. At how much you want them to be true.

You grab one of his hands and drag it down your chest. Past your soft, rounded belly and into your shorts. He grunts as you guide him to where you’re wet and pulsing. Rythmetically clenching around nothing.

He circles your clit, feather light. More of a tease then anything and you want to sob. You’d thought of nothing but this, touched yourself imagining him. “Tey-”

He smiles around a mouthful of nipple,tugging on with his teeth. “I missed you so much”

“Then be nice to me” you plead, trying to shove yourself down on his fingers.

“We’re being nice now? Were you nice to me when you ignored me?” he can't help it, hurt bleeds into his voice. It had been so fucking painful, knowing that you hadnt wanted to see him. To be with him.

“I’m sorry” you whine, grabbing his face, pulling it from your bosom. “I’m so sorry. I was so scared- I’m still scared but I need you”

He lets you cup his cheeks, lets you plant kisses all over him. The bridge of his nose, his eyelids, his cheekbones. You dote on him, gentle and caring and he gorges himself on your love.

“You cant ever do that again, okay?” He shivers as you kiss his ear, running your tongue along the hyper sensitive flesh “If you’re scared you come to me, not run from me. Do you understand?”

You nod, eager. “I promise, Neteyam”

It’s all he needs to hear, that you’re his. That you won't deprive him of your presence ever again. He doesn't know what he��ll do. He’s a little scared of the man he becomes when it comes to you, you’re not the only one frightened by the gravity of your feelings.

“You asked if I wanted you inside me again? Yes. So much. I never knew I could be that full” it’s like you know just what to say. You light him up from the inside. His fingers begin circling your sopping clit again, this time with intent.

It’s blurry, the fact that your lightheaded making it hard to think. To track what he’s doing to you because somehow Neteyam seems to be everywhere at once. His big body all encompassing as he takes you.

“No-no marks, baby” You try to remind him and his blazing eyes zero in on you in a glare “you know we cant…not where they can see”

You’re right, and he hates it. He’ll just have to mark you where only you can see. Where you can look at your self and be reminded that you belong to someone. That you belong to him.

He doesn't have the patience, cant stop his hands from shaking- the tear of your shorts and panties echos around the room as he removes any barriers between him and the heat at the apex of your thighs.

You cant help the thrill it sends down your spine. He’d…ripped your panties off. You thought shit like this only existed in bad Earth made Porn that you’d found on one of the labs computers.

“Sorry, sorry” his apology is far from sincere though and you can't help but giggle, patting his braids fondly.

The fingerfucking is rough, your wines and moans spilling from you as he hits spots inside of you that make you want to curl up. It’s too good. Too much-

You screech, back bowing as he bends to kiss you, loud and sloppy, right on your wet clit. His big head burrows between your thigs as he delves on your cunt, his long rough textured tongue lapping at the fat puffy lips. The texture difference has both of you groaning.

It’s heartbreakingly good, the kind of good that you’ll never be able to forget. That you’ll crave and need for the rest of your life. Addictive, as he dedicates himself to making you feel pleasure.

Neteyam eats pussy the same way he does everything else in his life, exceeding any expectations. His instincts sharp as he hones in on how to make you lose your mind.

He keeps telling you how good you taste, breaking away for heaving breaths before he reburries himself. The only sounds in the room are the beyond wet sloshing of his tongue lashing and the pathetic noises your making.

He’s eating you alive, you don’t know how you’re supposed to survive this.

His fingers, two and then three fuck in and out of you. Corkscrewing as he loosens your tightness up for him.

“O-ooh” you whine high and reedy as you feel your tummy tightening, the pressure building in a way that makes you feel like you cant breathe. You cant your hips, shoving them down at that perfect angle “Oh, sh-shhhhit. I’m gonna, I’m-”

He doubles down and you’re a goner.

The orgasm is devastating. Sofuckinggood you think you might see stars for a minute there. You can't even scream, you keep letting out these little cries that are more like wheezes. A desprate attempt to get some kind of air back in your lungs-

Which reminds you.

Even though you’re in a daze you wiggle away from him, he hisses at you about it but you swat the top of his head as you reach for the Exo Pack.

You shove the mask in his face, between your legs.

”Breathe, Neteyam” you demand him to gulp down the Pandoran air. Yeah, he could go longer in your environment than you in his but still. Death by giving head isn’t the way you’d like him to go out.

He takes long breaths and you try not to be embarrassed by how soaked his chin is.

When he pulls away his eyes are a little more focused “Thank you, sweet girl. Always thinking about me, huh?”

You nod, dropping the mask. Closer this time for easier access. His eyes quickly zero back in on your swollen pussy, on how wet he got you. On how pretty it looks. His mouth is watering all over again-

When you try to close your thighs, the burning of your cheeks getting to be too much he hisses again. It’s not a sound he often makes and it’s a revelation, he’s so sexy. Almost feral.

“Who said I’m done?”

You’re never going to be able to get over this man “I already came?...”

“Yes? So?” he rolls his eyes, lowering his head, nuzzling at the damp juncture of your inner thigh “You’re still so tight, here feel”

His fingers slip back in you and you mewl, baring down as he scissors the long digits.

“We have to get you loose enough to take me, I don’t want to hurt you” He explains it like you need convincing. Like he has to convince you to let him eat you out. You just re-spread your thighs, relaxing back onto the cool floor as you let him do as he pleases.

It takes two more orgasms that you scream and shake through until he deems that you’re ready. By the time that he begins to slide his cock into you you’re a blubbering, oversensitive mess. You’re crying rivers of tears as you cling to him.

“Hold my hand? Please ” You request and he smiles, kissing your tear streaked cheek as he interlaces his longer fingers with yours.

Humans and Na’vi can fuck, but we’rnt designed to. His dick is overwhelimgly big and will really injure you if the two of you aren't careful about this.

You both gasp sharply as his tip breaches you.

It hurts, it’s agonizing. It’s the kind of pleasure pain that you didnt even know could exist. Everytime you think you can adjust, he pushes in another inch. But oh, how you missed it. Being so full it feels like you’re going to burst. You’re pussy flutters as it fights to take him and you focus in on his face.

It’s all scrunched up in heavy concentration. His lips speared between his sharp teeth in a way that has them almost bleeding.

You can't have that. You tug him into a kiss, soothing the abused flesh with your tongue.

“I-I dont want to hurt you” He whimpers as his forehead rests against yours.

“It’s okay, you’re okay” You hum to him, grasping at his hand even tighter “I love what you do to me. I love how you feel”

When he bottoms out you think he must be in your ribs. Hes still, letting your body get used to him. Trying to be kind. You want to tell him that there’s no getting used to his size. That he could fuck you every day for the rest of your lives and he would still feel just as massive.

“Please” you wail instead “please”

The first gentle snap of his pelvis has you both reeling. Your thighs lock around his thin hips, urging him. You can take it. It only takes a little urging for him to lose himself. The harsh stretch of it has you shaking as your over sensitive pussy tightens. You’re coming again, less intense the the previous orgasms, thankfully.

Neteyam had been so focused on making you feel good that he’d neglected his hard, weeping cock. His balls are so full that he knows he’s not going to be able to draw this out.

You know you have to look stupid, mouth hanging open as you raggedly gasp for breath, letting out punched out sounds as Neteyam pounds into you. You cant look away from his face though.

It’s mesmerizing, all of it. The sounds he lets out. The way that his braids sway with the rhythm of his pleasure seeking body. His broad shoulders, bulging biceps and forearms- you are so fucked.

You’re so in love.

“Please Y/N” He wheezes as you squeeze around him, letting go of your hand so he can wrap both of his arms around your lower back “I can’t hold it. W-where should I?”

Oh. Oh, he’s the sweetest man. He always has been.

You peck his lips, not minding that he’s too lost in his own pleasure to really kiss you back

“Come inside me. Come inside me. Come inside me” it’s a heated chant, broken and breathy by the erratic rhythm of his hips and he buries his head in your neck, wailing in the skin there.

Just for a moment, lost in the haze of sex, you can tell he forgets his own strength. Thrusts into you so hard that you scream out in pain, the mushroom tip of his long cock batters your cervix relentlessly. Its a sharp, startling sensation that you’ve never known but you ride it out for him. Desperately trying to keep your whimpers of discomfort at bay.

When he comes, his whole body goes still and ram rod straight. He hugs you tightly to him. You wish you could see his face. Next time, hopefully.

He’s Neteyam, the mighty warrior. The dutiful son. The next clan leader but as he shakes and twitches and basks in the afterglow you can't help but want to baby him. But stroke his back softly, rubbing the residual tension out of his tired muscles.

He’s your big ol’ pussy cat, you’d always teased. He purrs like one every time you’re affectionate with him.

You can’t help but run your hands along his sensitive spine. Let the length of his tail run through the loop of your fingers. He grins and flicks it from side to side. He’d always thought your fascination with it was amusing.

“Are you okay?” he mutters, still hidden in your hair as he starts to come back to himself and you hum, moving up to pat his braids.

“Mmhmm” you’re maybe not as capable of making words as you though you were. He chuckles and hugs you. Holds you in his big arms in a way that makes you feel untouchable.

The two of you lie in that room for as long as you can, until he has to start heading back to Home Tree, it’s almost morning and his parents are early risers. They’ll look for him if hes not in his tent…

It's hard. Letting him go. Even though you know he’ll be back. You keep pulling him back in for kisses, holding onto his muscular arms until he laughs and peels you off of him.

“I’ll be back my love. I’ll always return for you”

You frown but agree, pushing him away to get re-dressed- “How am I supposed to go back like this! Neteyam I don't have any pants!”

He’d shredded your shorts and panties. Literal tatters of cloth are all that’s left.

Neteyam cracks up, almost keeling over. Thinking he’s oh so funny. It lightens the situation and makes letting him go- watching him disappear back in the forest a little easier.

You end up having to pull your fortunately oversized t-shirt down as far as it can go as you make a mad dash across the facility, back to your dorm. You fall asleep grinning, thinking about how the panties had been a necessary sacrifice.

———

Norms on late night watch, keeping a bored, admittedly not sharp enough eye on the security camera’s feeds. With the rainy season, came an influx of Slinths’. It made sense to have a lookout, and somehow he’d gotten saddled with an overnight shift.

He’d definitely fallen asleep for a few hours. Not that he’d tell anyone of that fact.

There is nothing that could prepare him for what he see’s on the screen, over in the desolate East Bay. First, he thinks that he’s hallucinating, his sleep bogged eyes playing tricks on him.

He rubs them hard with his knuckles, not believing the image that is large and clear on the security footage.

It’s Neteyam. Inside the facility which almost never happened. And he’s bending down, his lips locked with Y/N’s . Kissing her hard and long before she punch’s in the code, and opens the air locked door to let him back out into the shadowy eclipse.

Norm’s learned a lot living on this strange moon- Pandora was mysterious. Full of things his brilliant mind would never understand. So he does what he does’ most of the time.

Minds his own business.

So I’ve had this idea cooking for months, but didn’t have the bandwidth to get it written down. The ideas wouldn’t translate to page and I still kind of feel like they didn’t butttttt whatever. This is pure self indulgence. I am so much more in love with Neteyam now. He is SUCH a good guy. Ugh.

Also, please remember that my requests are OPEN! Send in all that good shit. Come blue alien brain rot with me!

#neteyam x reader #neteyam smut #avatar neteyam #aged up neteyam #neteyam x you #avatar smut

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riewritten · 7 months ago

Text

so i went to a remote area this weekend for a field work and i cant help but imagine erwin during the ride... like in an interview he said that if given the chance, he would like to live in a remote cabin, right?

LIVING IN THE CABINS OF TROST

ERWIN SMITH X GENDER NEUTRAL READER

TAGS: post-canon, erwin lives agenda, fluff, age-gap (lol rie tell us what we don't know!), love confessions, basically jus wholesome stuff

WORDS: 2k

Trost District’s advanced practice had saved their economy from titan invasion years ago, but sadly not every district in Paradis would like to apply it in consideration to the nobilities. In principle, you’d like to have it implemented in the rest of the island whose pride has long belonged in its rich agricultural resources. To know the bounties of Trost to the fullest, you’ll have to live with them for a month!

Lo and behold, you’ll come across the Erwin Smith as one of the residents. You see, he doesn’t talk much to people, let alone from outsiders, but the villagers love him because of his kindness and intelligence; they’re confident that if there’s someone who could help you the most, it’ll be no other than this man. And, strangely so, Erwin welcomed you with open arms the moment he knew of your research.

He doesn’t want the residents to treat you as an inconvenience so as soon as he learns your university isn’t funding student researchers—which makes you lack the resources to rent a dorm in Trost—he gladly opens the spare room he had built inside his cabin at your disposal.

However, amidst the neat and swift arrangement, you can’t help but be bothered because not only is he so kind for reasons you’re yet to unveil, but you are to live with him! A very handsome middle-aged man who is unreasonably single, especially in a period where people as young as sixteen are already bearing children!

Maybe the sheer change the Paradis had become since the walls collapsed has something to do with it?

However, it isn’t long until you’ve learned that he is none but the very commander who had contributed the most for the freedom of Paradis. He suddenly blurts out over breakfast that he was the 13th Commander back in his prime. The 13th commander of the Scout Regiment. You took history classes really well so you know what the 13th commander has done; it’s just that you never remembered his name because as far as you are concerned, the former commander opted not to publish his name in books and told the historians to ensure every contribution of his comrades would be noted instead. Your teachers spoke of him so highly–indeed, an amalgamation of what a real leader must be.

The way you started shaking over the coffee and bread Erwin had prepared made him panic, “Oh no, was the coffee too strong for your liking? I'm so sorry.”

And when you eventually cry and utter praises and gratitude for serving the country well, he starts laughing—boisterously so. That was sure a laugh he had never done during his prime.

He then pats your head, “Well, our efforts have never gone to waste because of smart students like you, no?”

To integrate more with the Trost community, Erwin fetches you to other neighbors using his old car every morning (he bought it for a discounted price at an auction—scratch that, the merchant almost gave it to him because he was a huge fan. Had Erwin been a boastful bastard, he wouldn’t even bother paying for it). He says the ride to another farm takes around half an hour, so you two take your time talking about a lot of things. He turns gloomy whenever the topic of being a commander is talked upon, so you’re always sure to stay with the menial—his favorite areas on his lawn, the things he’d like to do in the future to make his little paradise even better to live in, and more.

Oh, how badly you yearn for a life like his.

And when late afternoon comes, Erwin would pick you up from the neighborhood so you can accompany him to the wet market approximately an hour away. Erwin usually takes this chance to talk to the merchants because he supplies them his harvest at a low price for extra income (what a strategic and simple man he is!) then you two would restock condiments and other needs in the house that his small farm couldn’t provide. The life Erwin has is surely tiring for you who’s basically raised in a highly urbanized area, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy it especially with his company.

One of the best things he has ever shown you is the tiny river surrounded by giant trees where he takes a bath. The scenery makes you feel like some sort of deity in an urban legend; sun would peak behind the leaves and onto the water, then the water would bounce back its light towards your glimmering eyes—full of adoration at god’s creation. The river is quite cold and sometimes the breeze these trees exude freezes your skin, yet it feels so fresh, so pleasing to look at, and you wouldn’t mind if you’re not accustomed to taking a bath in an open area. No reason to be scared, too, as the singing birds and cicadas keep you company. Not far from here, you could also hear Erwin’s daily wood chopping. Of course, he’s just there, ready to rescue you if you slip on the rocks or some intruder tries to come at you.

One of the best tasks he had entrusted you with (which you asserted to be tasked because you couldn’t fathom not paying him rent) is plucking ripe fruits from his farm. In your hometown, every need comes with money, but here, one could survive with just the gifts of land ripened by their hard work.

“It makes your research more valuable, doesn’t it?” Erwin affirms. “Imagine every citizen in Paradis being able to live a life not based on money once the government appreciates agrarian reforms more, given how rich our country is with natural resources.”

The distance you had with him as he intricately teaches you how to cut fruit from its stem, his appreciation for your principles (which students from the urban area often laugh about), and the way his hands brush against yours while he’s correcting your posture because the way of cutting needs to be precise so the stem could still be capable of bearing another fruit—it all fills your heart with sheer warmth. When night comes and you’re alone in your room, you finally deduce what you feel for him—it’s not just mentorship that you want, or his kindness, or even his farm.

You want him as he is. You want to give back all the help he has given you by loving him with all your heart.

As the research is about to end, you realize that you soon will be bidding him farewell to go back to your hometown, to live a boring university life, to take a bath in the constricted bathroom of your dormitory, and to worry about filling money up your sleeves so you could eat instead of just plucking out leaves and straight up cooking it. It fills your heart with sorrow; you hope you can just stay with him.

On one of your final days in Erwin’s house, you wake up with rain so strong tip taps of water can be heard from the roof towards the wooden floor. Erwin knocks and asks if he could fix it as you eat breakfast but as soon as you open the door for him, you start crying.

“I'm sorry, it happens a lot during rainy days. I should've warned you.” Perhaps he’s thinking that an urban girl like you would deem living in this wooden cabin overwhelming, but it’s rather far from it. “I’m thinking of replacing the roof with cement instead of mere iron strips, but I can only do that when summer comes. you might not be here anymore by that time, though.”

“Can I just live here for good? I don’t want to go,” you wail, the attachment and adoration you have for this new friend flowing through your tears. “I want to live here for good!”

“Because you want to witness the renovation of my roof…?”

“No!”

Erwin is surprised at your sudden rise in tone, but eventually he smiles—he smiles despite not understanding it all, “I’ll consider, but only after you let me fix the hole in your room.”

It took you five minutes of wailing (and Erwin’s gentle taps on your shoulder) before you stepped away from the door and let him in, with which he whispered a small praise, “Good girl. Now come on, eat your breakfast and drink your coffee. We’ll talk after I'm done here.”

His voice sounded so warm, deep, and gentle in that particular remark.

You manage to do what he asked of you, albeit with little hiccups. To be honest, had Erwin lacked the academic knowledge to help you finish your research, your stay in his home would’ve lasted longer. but he’s such a smart man—even on par with your actual research professor—that it even makes you wonder if his parents were formerly part of the academy, too.

When Erwin learns of that fact, he laughs in guilt, “I'm sorry! I admit I got too caught up with your research. You should’ve shooed me away when I got too invasive! Is that why you were crying?”

“No! It’s because I want to stay with you longer!” you cry, albeit impulsively, because you are drenched in cold water as soon as you see Erwin’s surprised face.

Nonetheless, he’s able to compose himself, “Seems like you loved living in Trost, hm? It’s okay, you could visit us here even after your research is—”

“I meant you! I want to stay with you specifically!”

Oh god, did bathing in the river give you a bravado as strong as Erwin’s? You’re not usually this blunt.

“Why, if it’s fine to ask?” Erwin starts, his face more serious this time around, albeit there’s a tinge of expression you couldn’t quite decipher.

You wouldn’t be able to take this back. You wouldn’t be able to take this back. You wouldn’t be able to take this ba— “Because I like you!”

You wouldn’t be able to take that back!

“Oh god,” you covered your face in embarrassment. “I-I’ll be back! I’m sorry!” then you stand up from your seat and hurry towards the door.

You run to the secluded river to wash your face from embarrassment (or perhaps drown in it for good), but after a throaty scream of shame, you notice a presence behind you.

“E-Erwin!” you screech in surprise. “I told you I’ll be back soon!”

“Repeat what you just said.”

“The what?”

“What you said before running off. Repeat it.”

“Are you angry?” you weakly mutter.

“What? No! I mean—” the unusual stuttering made Erwin chuckle in defeat. “Please, I just want to hear it again.”

His soft eyes on the ground, one you couldn’t quite decipher earlier, is much more understandable now. It gave you more courage to admit more, “I said I like you.”

“As a host or…?”

The question almost ruins the mood, and yet you think that’s the most adorable Erwin has been since you’ve known him. All this time you thought of him as someone who knew everything astutely.

“What do you mean ‘as a host?’ I know we have a bit of a generational gap but I’m certain what I said was clear enough!”

He walks closer until you’re centimeters apart, eventually he smiles in realization. Then he cups your cheeks and says, “Finish your research and come back here. you’ll hear my answer by then.”

“Huh?” you scorn, “Why don’t you answer now while I’m still—”

A kiss on your forehead cuts you off. It lasts for ten seconds or so—you know because you started counting it out of fluster. While on it, he rubs his thumb on your cheeks in circular motions. The sensations render you in a haze. As soon as he withdraws, you bury your head on his chest, taking his scent in even though you don’t understand what’s happening.

“What I could offer to you is nothing in comparison to the life ahead of you in Stohess. Do what you must there—submit your research, advocate for your principles until your voice reaches more people, and if by then you still can’t stop thinking of me, by all means, stay by my side for good.”

“How can I be sure that you’re not married the moment I come back?!”

He chuckles, then places your hand on his chest. His forehead bumps on yours, a knowing smile plastered on his lips, and his eyes reeking of adoration. “Because my heart has been yours the moment you set your foot here.”

p lease i encourage everyone to continue this fic for me because as much as i love the prompt i donT HAVE THE TIME TO TURN IT INTO AN ACTUAL THING 😭😭😭 PLEASEDKDKSED

also here's a majestic fan art of idrawr16yt that helped me visualize what a retired-commander-living-in-the-countryside erwin smith would look like

🔖 @xiaotopia @cadenza-damour @rinamars @grimistheangerinmystares @suntizme @onasvigo @inkofteyvat @aeanya @watyousayin @collinnmckinley @frenchdyer | SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE TO MY STORIES

#I FINALLY MANAGED TO WRITE IT #JDIFEDJKEJDISXJKS #I CANT STOP THINKING OF IT LAST SATURDAY HHEEELLPP IM BEYOND SAVING #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith x you #erwin smith x y/n #erwin smith canon #erwin smith fanfic #erwin smith fanfiction #aot x reader #aot x you #aot x y/n #aot reader insert #aot fanfiction #aot erwin x reader #aot erwin x you #aot erwin x y/n

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phagodyke · 1 year ago

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I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.

#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule #im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep #and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it #drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3 #bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant #by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long #i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes #just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway #and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao #whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway #ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man #i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still #it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED #UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383 #.diaries #.vent

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haroldthehuckleberry · 1 year ago

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Pregnant boy-toy part 2/3

cw: mpreg, sex, controlling language, speed pregnancy

we sat and spoke for a few hours about the baby but i couldnt take my mind off how fucking sexy he was, i dont know if its the hormones but his physique and just everything was sending me wild, luckily my mountain belly was hiding my rock-hard cock in my sweatpants. the same couldnt be said for him… his massive member was clearly solid in his tight jock strap, he moved on to the couch next to me and my cock and cunt only twitched for him more.

his massive hands rested on my belly that dwarfed the tanned, veined beauties on the end of his wrists, his right hand slipped my tight vest up over my mountain-belly letting every inch of its tight skin breathe meanwhile his left hand glided up and down my thigh as my cock twitched and my cunt pulsed for him. suddenly i looked at myself and realised how much id changed, normally no man could drive me crazy enough to want him this much but its true- i needed him. i needed to please him. a whimper of a moan slipped out my lips followed by his gruff voice saying “good boy” to sooth me, those goddamn words that pissed me off to no-end only months ago are now ruling me those two words nearly made me cum on the spot when he say this though he wasn’t impressed

“tut tut, no slut of mine cums before i allow it” he bellowed as he pinched my sensitive swollen nipple causing me to moan again and drizzle a little milk for the first time “s-s-sorry” i whimpered in hopes hed allow me to cum, “sorry *what*” he said assertively “sorry d-d-daddy” i mutter half ashamed at how far id fallen for this God-like man and half so turned on it was starting to hurt my cock, “what a good little slut” he grinned as he pulled me up by my back and escorted me upstairs…

————————————

i lost count of how many times he came on my stomach of mass proportion but i was still not allowed. and i loved it. to think only jours ago i would have scoffed and rolled my eyes over being used like a machine but this is what i needed this whole time, i needed this man to control me. i assumed after i was finally allowed to cum i would leave and later plan the babies up-bringing but my daddy had different plans…

after another few hours of not cuming daddy finally let me and it exploded all over my belly-base as my cunt twitched and throbbed while his cock was being pulled out, i felt his spawn and his cum sloshing around inside me, i was full. maximum capacity. i didnt think my belly could get bigger when i arrived but it clearly has, i cant even sit up and i know daddy will only punish me if i ask for help so instead i ask permission to fall asleep, he grants me it before he gets me to suck him off one last time, i must obey.

after a great night sleep i expected to wake up to a slightly deflated belly as i assumed the cum would have been absorbed or whatever but no… my belly was EVEN bigger again my skin was so tight it looked nearly see through i looked about 18 months pregnant!! “WHAT THE FUCK!!” i screamed “shut it slut!” daddy shouted back twisting my pecs that had also swollen more over night, this pain added to the sight and feel of my belly immediately made my cock and cunt stand at attention ready for anything daddy wants me to do “p-p-please explain daddy” i beg trying not to make it obvious im ready for him whenever he wants me, “ you see,” he growls “my cum isnt like any other, i can get you pregnant no matter how far along you already are, and my spawn tend to grow bigger than the average” he puts his hand assertively on my globe of a stomach “normally my sluts come to me only a few months in so i have more time to utilise their breed-able bodies but you where naughty, you came to me late. so for this, i must teach you a lesson”

authors note:

thank you so much for the love on part one! i hope you enjoy this part too i have a rough plan for maybe one more part so unless i get an amazing idea there will probably be one more part to this series!

#cw mpreg #mpreg #mpreg belly #mpreg kink #mpregnancy #pregnant man #mpreg roleplay #mpreg caption #mpreg story #male pregnancy

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thetorturedbuckydepartment · 6 months ago

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chapter four: the party

pairing: Bucky barnes x plus-sized!SHIElD!reader

masterlist

summary: being a SHIELD agent, you have a knack for analysing people, particularly when it comes to attraction. you have everyone figured out, sorted away into the boxes you've created. But there's one man you can never seem to figure out, the very bane of your existence -- Bucky Barnes. On the field, he is a saint, helping you dodge bullets and taking knife wounds in your name. Around the building? Public menace number one, always poised to insult or to spar with you.

After being sent on a 6-month-long torture-cum-vacation with the very man, could all this change? Could you finally figure out what has been bubbling beneath the surface for years between the two of you, the juggernaut that you know you cannot stop?

warnings: language, mention of Bucky having a nightmare, mentions of sex, FLUFF!!!!!

word count: 3.1k

taglist: @cjand10 @mcira @calwitch

PREVIOUS PART

A/N: its been a long time coming...SORRY I got into med at my top choice uni so life's been a bit busy recently!!!! pls comment and reblog and lmk what you think!! <333

“Hey doll, can you help me a minute?” You’re lounging in the living room, watching women try their best to sell cardigans that look like they’d fall apart in the smallest gust of wind, not really paying much attention. You’re too busy thinking about Bucky, fiddling with the hem of your dress. About how good he looked at dinner last night, how you could swear his hand was softly touching your face in the middle of the night, when you decided to sleep in his bed because of his nightmare.

And the way it was making you feel. Stirring something inside your chest and between your legs like never before, butterflies and raw desire and hardcore want — it’s almost too much. It’s been a week since his birthday, since you called a truce. And you cant stop thinking of anything that isn’t him, much like when you’d first met him. His hair, his eyes, his voice, his hands— fuck. You don’t know what these past couple of weeks have done to you. Maybe it’s because you’ve gone so long without sex, yes, maybe the depravity is getting to your brain and channeling feelings that you’ve killed and fought and suffered to bury deep down so they never—

“Doll? You okay?” Bucky stands at the door, shirtless and shaving cream over half of his face, watching you. You realise you’ve been blankly staring at him the entire time, and immediately snap out of it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What do you need help with?” He shuffles as you straighten, walking over to him and stopping just a metre away. It’s almost too close.

“My arm is acting up again, I can’t finish shaving. Could…could you do it for me? Please.” You nod, reaching forward and grabbing the razor out of his hand. Your fingertips brush and you swallow your stuttering heartbeat at the contact.

“Yeah, of course.” This is the second time this has happened, that his arm has been acting up to the point where he can barely move it. He won’t show it, but you know the pain must be excruciating. You try not to dwell on it, or your urge to soothe him as he leads you to the bathroom.

“Sit down on the edge of the bathtub for me.” You use your commanding voice as you fish out his shaving cream from the medicine cabinet. As you turn to face him, you catch him wince. You can’t stop yourself.

“Does it hurt a lot?” You keep your voice and face devoid of any judgement, lest he believe your question to be mockery. He looks away, down at his lap.

“Sometimes. I hate it, it makes me wish…” You close the distance between the both of you, lace your fingers through the hair at the back of his head, and gently tug, pulling his face upwards.

“Look at me when you’re talking to me, Bucky. What does it make you wish?” His pupils dilate to a new diameter you once thought impossible, at your authoritative voice. He likes it. It makes him realise that being controlled doesn’t always feel evil and torturous. Sometimes it can be desire awakening, and cause that familiar blanket to gloss over his brain and eyes, the blanket that only leads him to think of you.

“It makes me wish I had arms like yours.” You gently manoeuvre your right hand to slip a finger between vibranium and the weird skin-like rubber stretched on top of it, and freeze at his words.

You offer him a soft smile. “Arms like mine?”

“Two well-functioning arms. Not dependent on some metal hunk to do the job for you. You can feel everything in a way I’ll never be able to, no matter how advanced Wakandan technology gets. Arms like yours.”

You curl the fingers in his hair, feeling the soft silkiness against your delicate skin. You affectionately stroke his scalp as the both of you sigh in tandem at the new, yet not unpleasant, feeling. “The grass always seems greener on the other side, darling.” You try and convince yourself you’re just practising calling him names so you can play it off at the housewarming party you’re having later tonight. You fail.

“You’ve seen the state of my arms, haven’t you? Every single scar on them comes alongside the most horrible memories of a night I’d do anything to forget. I—I can’t believe I’m saying this— I’ve always been a bit jealous of your vibranium arm. Not how you got it, of course, but of how fucking cool it looks. How strong it makes you, can you imagine the things I could do if I were as strong as you? And I like the black and gold…Over the years, it’s become such an inherent part of you, it made me sad to watch you walk around with the human skin sleeve thing on. But I know how you got it, and the memories that you would do anything to forget, and I’m almost never there when it starts acting up, or when the phantom pains make you double over. Just like how you don’t know I can barely stand the sight of myself in a mirror, because of all of those scars.” You focus on slowly peeling the skin sleeve off as you speak, avoiding eye contact. You’ve become the one thing you hate the most — vulnerable.

The rubber skin finally pops off, and his face finally shifts away from yours to focus on the mild relief seeing vibranium brings. “Is that any better?” You’re changing the topic. He knows you’re changing the topic, but he doesn’t argue with it or fight to get back, he knows what a big thing it was for you to admit all that you just did.

“A bit. It might be better if you detach my arm.” You nod, eyes still not looking at him, but rather, following the intricate lines and details you’ve so sorely missed.

“Then I’ll go get you an ice pack.”

When the cool gel pack presses against his skin, he immediately relaxes, letting out a shaky breath. Dear God, he must’ve been in agony. You gesture for him to hold his right hand over the top of the pack to press it to his ache, so you can focus on other activities, like shaving. When your hands brush, this time, you can’t help but stare into the cerulean abyss of his eyes, temporarily letting your maddening affections be known. His eyes glance at your lips like the lack of space between you two is the one thing he’s been waiting for, and you let your eyes drift downwards too. Letting yourself enjoy the bright pink curve of his lips — how can anyone’s lips be this colour? How can he have such a pretty mouth that you want nothing more than to kiss, and taste and feel on your—?

“So do you want a clean shave? Or do you want me to leave some parts?”

His heart sinks. He should’ve known the way you’re looking at him might be a last minute resort to cure the depravity that must ail you, instead of you actually desiring him. He shouldn’t have let his fantasies get carried away.

“Clean shave is fine.” You nod, carefully testing the razor on your arm to gauge the pressure you should apply without hurting him. He can’t help but melt at the small gesture, and his arm winds around your waist as he pulls you onto his lap.

“It’ll be easier this way.” You try to think nothing of it. Especially, the way his hand feels splayed across your lower back and cementing your entire front to his. You’ve never realised his hands were so big until the tips of his fingers reach your hair and thumb rests respectfully just below where your bra begins. You nod, trying to calm your breathing.

He notices. He keeps silent, wondering what your next move will be. He certainly doesn’t expect you to cup his jaw so delicately and, more of note than that, so fondly as you begin dragging the razor down his face, watching it glide and reveal smooth skin than the blue eyes that seem to have no interest in anything that isn’t your face.

“Lift your chin up for me a bit, that’s it. Good boy.” The last part slips almost out of habit, but you don’t register this until it’s too late. He’s looking at you and you’re looking at him and he fits against you so perfectly that you can’t resist meeting his wonderful blue eyes. He watches you, lips parted.

And he can’t hold back anymore, breathing in the scent of shaving cream and perfume and your fucking pheromones. He glances between your eyes, searching for any inkling of hesitance in the beautiful colour he’s painted his wall back home.

Then he grabs your face in his one hand, sliding into your soft hair and your eyes close in instinct, letting out the smallest relieved sigh ever. Because you are. It feels like every interaction you’ve had with Bucky in the past 8 years is finally coming to a boil, and your conscience is tired of suppressing the deep attraction that you feel towards him. Sexual, romantic, all of it. All of it.

His soft, sweet, wanting mouth meets yours, half-open in desire, for a languid kiss. It is full of longing and lust and pining, almost a decade’s worth of it. Your hand finds his head again, grabbing onto the short, soft locks and keeping his face pressed up against yours. You can’t help it, you want more. You’ve always wanted more, and searched for it in everyone but the one man you crave. You know, just to torture yourself. That’s the reality of what you’ve been doing, the circles you’ve been running in, around and around and around him. Avoidant attachment, anxious avoidance. You don’t know what on Earth to call it, all you know is you want nothing to do with it anymore. And just as your lungs begging for oxygen out-win your heart’s greed, you realise what you’ve just done, the domino you’ve just toppled.

You rest your forehead against his, staring deeply into his dilated pupils. So pretty.

“Bucky…” You never did revert back to James once your tongue became familiar with his nickname. “We can’t be doing this…if they find out,” you say, gripping his shoulder ever so desperately. “They won’t let us work together again.” His eyebrows scrunch up in immense pain, like to hear that is more excruciating than any torture he’s ever been subject to.

“Don’t say that. Don’t give me a taste of everything I’ve been wanting for the past fucking, like, decade and then rip it away from me. They’ll understand, just—Please, don’t say that. Please.” He grips your face a little tighter, not wanting to let you go. And the desperation in his voice breaks you. Severely.

You kiss him again, more fervently like you’d die if you don’t taste him again. He tastes like the strawberries he was eating for breakfast, and you moan. Unabashedly. Because he is everything you’ve been wanting, and you’re tired of denying it to every bastard haunted corner of your mind. His eyebrow furrows when he realises that you want him just as bad, and he hasn’t been making it up for these past long years. It wasn’t all in his mind. You’re real, you’re sitting in his lap and kissing him like your life depends on it. Dear God, how is he ever going to deny you anything you ask of him ever again? He won’t and he won’t want to. Ever.

He moans every nickname he can think of when you kiss him so feverishly, he makes every sound under the sun at the feeling of your soft lips and soft body and soft everything that makes him go fucking feral.

And then he moves his left arm to grab at you, if only to watch how beautiful you look with the black and gold against your skin, forgetting that it currently lies on the bathroom floor, and a nauseating pain flares up again.

“Ah, shit.” You’ve known him long enough to recognise when he’s in pain. You pull away, ceasing grinding against his erection to seek veracity in his face. “Did I hurt you, darling?” You gently touch his cheek, relishing in the way he leans into it.

“No.” His eyes flutter closed as you stroke his marvellous cheekbone, already so sick with affection for him. “My shoulder…I—I wanted to touch more of you, but—.”

“Oh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Buck. Really. Here, let me help you. Shit, I should’ve thought of that before I leaped at you. Sorry.” How is this so easy? You’ve never been this affectionate with anyone before…Maybe it’s the privacy, and the intimacy of being in the bathroom with him, in his lap.

“Don’t apologise for that. It might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He smiles bashfully as you laugh stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, gently pressing the now lukewarm icepack against his shoulder.

“You have an incredibly low bar for ‘best thing to have ever happened to you’.”

He kisses your cheek, and your eyelids flutter. “Maybe you’re just that amazing,” he whispers against your ear, kissing it. You gasp.

“Is this all it takes to get you to not hate me? Kiss you?” You eye his lips once again, already reminiscing the feeling of them. Golden, like daylight.

“I’ve never hated you.” Your eyes dart up, knowing he’s lying. He can’t be serious.

“What do you mean? You hated me from the get-go. Why do you think I stopped being nice to you?”

“I felt like I didn’t deserve you. That’s why. I know it’s not an excuse for the horrible things I’ve done, like my birthday, but I truly felt that way. I felt so evil, so unworthy of any goodness that anyone offered me, but especially you. I’ve been I—obsessed with you since the second I saw you, but I guess it was a form of self-sabotage to deny myself of it. And by the time I felt worthy enough to try to win you over, I was too late.” He swallows some of the pain, and you hand shifts to cup his face. “So I thought, maybe if I keep you hating me, at least you’ll feel something for me, like a sick form of validation.”

You smile softly at his confession, feeling your heart swell at his reddening cheeks. “You are the first, and only, person I’ve ever had romantic feelings for. They were so intense, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know how to act around you, and when I thought you hated me, I thought it was for the best. Maybe it would help me get over you. But instead, I’ve spent pretty much a whole decade trying to convince myself that I don’t have any feelings for you. I was, so wrong. I’m so sorry. I said so many horrible things to you, and you never deserved any of it. I knew that, but I was too caught up in myself to mind. But you deserve good things, amazing things even. You always have.” You kiss him again, passionately yet shortly, sealing your words with the action.

“So we wasted 8 years?” You nod, resting your head against the crook of his neck. “Not wasted. I’d rather argue with you than be with anyone else. That…is abundantly clear.” He laughs, and you stand, extending your hand to him. He gently grabs your fingers and stroking them, before he flips it and kisses the back of it, looking up at you through his lashes. A silly, lovesick grin takes over your features as he pulls you into him wrapping his arm around your waist and resting his head on your stomach. You soothe him, and enjoy the silence.

“I’d rather have you hate my guts than be in love with anyone else.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The party goes as expected. Buck had pulled you into his lap while you were doing your makeup, just silently watching you. You’ve never felt more wanted, and you realise that this was the one thing you’ve always craved, deep down. To be wanted, to be loved. Recently, more specifically to be wanted and loved by Bucky. The two of you are nowhere near that stage right now, but the want and desire is there. His chin on your shoulder, poised to angle his head to press kisses to your neck as you apply your favourite blush, or him stroking your waist when you lean forward to apply mascara. Obsessed, enamoured, unabashed.

The both of you also determined a common distress signal while you were applying lip gloss, to converse in Hindi when you want to convey information in plain sight. A language nobody here would know, but it allows your words to go almost undetected — appearance vs. Reality, you suppose.

Senator Parker was just as sleazy as you expected, leaning into you and trying his best to stare down your dress when he thought you weren’t looking. Once Bucky noticed it, he’s kept himself glued to your side at all times, sparing no expense in calling you his beautiful wife. You asked the Senator why he was away for so long, and he engages in conversation.

“Well, you see, sweetheart, I was looking for a new right-hand man.” You hand fists the back of Bucky’s shirt at the nickname, and he holds you a little tighter in response. You’re lucky he knows how to read you so well, to keep you on the task at hand.

“Is he showing up tonight?” Bucky asks, gently stroking your back to keep you grounded.

Just then the doorbell rings, and you seize the chance to leave this conversation. You don’t think you can handle a man twice your age eye-fucking you any longer.

“I’ll go get that. You’ll have to excuse me.” You offer Parker a tight-lipped smile, before turning and pressing up to your tiptoes to press a light, affectionate kiss on Bucky’s cheek. He blushes, grinning. “Be right back,” you whisper, for his ears only. He’s the only person you’d ever want to come back to.

You open the door with a polite smile on your face, only to be met with, quite literally, the man of your nightmares.

Your blood runs cold.

“It’s been too long, lovebug.”

NEXT PART

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