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ckret2 · 5 years ago

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The 18th Most Horrible X-Mas Ever

Hey have an Invader Zim fanfic, merry Christmas.

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The warning sirens wailed first, followed shortly by the announcement broadcast to every corner of the city: “YOU BETTER WATCH OUT... YOU BETTER WATCH OUT... YOU BETTER WATCH OUT...”

Most buildings stood dark and streets lay empty. Almost everyone had already evacuated to the underground bunkers except for a few desperate last-minute holiday shoppers, packed into the few open malls and big box stores, snatching gifts off shelves in a haze of terror and frantic holiday cheer.

As the sirens cut through the store speakers’ Christmas pop songs, shoppers scrambled over each other to escape and terrified retail employees crouched behind their cash registers to avoid the customers’ wrath. The stragglers smuggled their gifts under their clothes and watched the skies fearfully as they ran to the nearest bunker entrances.

But it wasn’t until a jolly red light began flashing on the cold gray horizon that the hangars around the edge of the city began opening to unleash the mecha.

“I want you to know I hate y—mpgh!” Dib’s face got shoved into the side of the Krampus 3000 as Zim scrambled on Pak legs over him to get into the mecha’s access hatch first. Dib rubbed his jaw, then scrambled up the built-in ladder twice as fast. “I really, really hate you, Zim!”

“Yes, yes of course you do!” Zim’s voice echoed from somewhere deep inside the mecha’s head. He was probably already making his way to the gunner seat in the chest. “You only remind me EVERY YEAR.”

“And it gets MORE TRUE every year!” Dib slammed the hatch shut and dropped heavily into the pilot’s seat, flipping the switches to power up his station. By the time the hologram display popped up showing Zim in the gunner seat, he’d already removed his human disguise and was plugging himself into the heavily-customized weapon instrument panel via the cybernetic implants he’d added to his temples. Dib pointed accusatorially at hologram Zim, “We should have been booted up and ready to launch long before the sirens started! If you hadn’t delayed us because you wanted to finish whatever stupid pet project you’re working on now—!”

“The time for bickering is over, human!” Zim snapped. “Reports out of Japan said that the Santa is seventy percent larger than we anticipated this year, and he’ll have only gained mass as he swept west. We’ve got to prepare for a worst case scenario.”

Dib groaned, his forehead thunking down on the Krampus 3000′s pilot controls. “Dad promised we’d have exterminated Santa in five years. I’m almost thirty. Why am I still fighting Santa. Why is this my life.”

“Why are you asking me?!” Zim demanded. “It’s your planet’s stupid EvilSanta Loving Federation that sabotaged your paternal unit’s plan!”

“I hate the E.L.F.,” Dib mumbled into the controls. “But not as much as I hate you.”

“Head up, Dib-filth. I need you focused on not being too stupid a pilot for me to demonstrate Krampus 3000′s full potential with the weapons system.”

Dib raised his head, glowering at hologram Zim. “I’m a great pilot.”

“Hah! Sure you are.”

“I swear, Zim, if you weren’t the best gunner available...”

Smugly, Zim said, “If I wasn’t, Santa would have flattened your planet by now.”

Dib grumbled a reluctant acknowledgment.

The massive screens around Dib booted up, ran through a quick diagnostics, and then switched to showing the hangar around them and the opening doors. The red flashing on the horizon illuminated half the sky. The jingling of millions of sleigh bells crackled like thunder. Dib shivered in fear.

There was a beep as a second hologram opened up, a transmission from the ground commander to the mecha units. “All right, it’s T-minus two minutes until the vanguard of Santa’s troops is expected to hit the city. It’s gonna be bigger than we anticipated, but I’ve trained you for this. Remember your training! If any one of you acts like a newb out there and I’m forced to remotely assume control of your unit, you will be paying for your incompetence until next Christmas. Dib?!”

Dib flinched down in his seat. “Yes, commander?”

Gaz pointed directly at him. “Do. Not. Disappoint. Me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay. Remember, troops! Santa might step on you, but I can make it hurt so much more personally. Make me proud! Gingerbread cookies when you get back.”

There were weak cheers from the other pilots and gunners. As the boot up sequence completed and Dib directed the Krampus 3000 to take the first lumbering steps out of the hangar, he heard Zim mutter, “Oh, Gir loves when I bring those thingies home.”

“Now go kick his jolly red butt!” Gaz’s transmission closed.

"Okay, what's out strategy?" Dib asked.

"Same as last year! Head for Rudolph!" Its massive antlers, a twisted bramble of steel girders, were just visible over the horizon. “I still want back that big red power core the E.L.F. stole from me.”

If they brought down Rudolph, they’d be the heroes of the year—and make up for last year’s devastating blunder. Dib punched the controls forward and the Krampus 3000 charge ahead of the others, heading for the source of the ominous red glow. “Okay, fine, but this time no severing the reins connecting Rudolph to the others! You remember what happened last year?”

Zim shuddered. “Hey, cutting the power cables from Rudolph’s power core to the other eight mecha-moose was a great strategy! How was I supposed to know it would make Rudolph nine times stronger?”

“They’re robo-reindeer, Zim. Reindeer.”

“Oh, whatever!”

Rudolph apparently recognized them. As soon as his mechanical, white, dead eyes locked on the Krampus 3000, he let out a ground-shaking bellow and charged forward, dragging the other eight reindeer along with him. Dib grabbed for his antlers to keep him from snapping at their mecha’s face while Zim unloaded a barrage of plasma missiles into Rudolph’s chest.

“Get the thing!” Zim shrieked.

“The what?!” Dib leaned back in his seat as Rudolph’s titanium teeth snapped seemingly inches from his face. No doubt he was just a few feet from Krampus’s nose.

“The thing! The thing! It’s right in front of you! The glowy!”

“Rudolph’s nose?!”

“YES!”

“If I let go of his antlers he’ll eat me!”

“So?! The Gaz can take control from you!”

“Do you really want her judging your shooting while she pilots?!”

“... Ehh...”

Dib managed to twist Rudolph’s head sideways hard enough to make him stumble off balance and got him in a headlock. “HA!” He grasped with his free arm at Rudolph’s nose as the robo-reindeer flailed in his grip.

“Hey! Dib! Pay attention! Comet and Dancer coming up on our... eh...” From the corner of his eye, Dib could see Zim pulling out the analogue clock he referred to when he had to give human directions. “Ten o’clock and two o’clock!”

“So shoot them!”

“I am!” The rumbling of constant laser fire echoed from up both sides of Krampus 3000′s torso. “They’ve upgraded their armor! It’s barely scratching their paint! We need to retreat!”

“Not... until... I...” With one more wild flail, Dib got Krampus’s mitt around the tip of Rudolph’s muzzle. With a hard twist, he ripped out the power core. “YES!”

“We got it?! HA! We got it! Zim reigns triumphant over—”

“I did all the work.”

“ZIM REIGNS TRIUMPHANT!” Dancer headbutted them over. “Oh, the other mecha-moose have independent power sources this year.”

Dib desperately tried to kicked out Dancer’s knees. “You don’t say!” A spray of fireworks from one of Krampus’s arm cannons was enough to blind Comet, who tripped over Dancer as the Krampus 3000 scrambled back and got to his feet again. Dib turned the mecha’s head as he scanned the battlefield, checking on how the other mecha were faring against the reindeer—and froze, jaw dropped in horror.

Santa dominated the horizon, his massive twisted white beard like the snowy peak of a mountain. “Oh, this is—This is so much worse than Japan warned us.”

“Where did he find so much Christmas cheer?” Zim asked, voice nearly soft with horror. “The E.L.F. couldn’t have dug out this many bunkers for him!”

“Maybe they’ve started manufacturing it,” Dib said grimly. “The rumors of the stronghold they’ve built at the North Pole—”

“Of course! Rrgh! I knew we should’ve investigated it back in October! You said the idea was stupid.”

“No, I said you’d have to be stupid to think I was going to let you seize control of a stronghold like—”

Rudolph bit Krampus’s wrist. Dib screamed in shock and started punching his face. “He’s going for his nose! He’s going for his nose!”

Zim fired off a missile twice the diameter of Rudolph’s eye, exploding his entire head.

Dib stumbled back, clutching the power core close to Krampus’s chest as the robo-reindeer paused to survey their fallen ruler. “Thanks! Wow! I didn’t know we had that thing!”

“I was hoping to save it send it through Santa’s stupid gelatinous heart!” Zim said. “But I don’t think it’s going to do any good now.”

"Probably not.” Dib stared up at the mountain. “Look at him. We might just have to hold him back while the city evacuates. Even if we take out the rest of the reindeer, I don’t think we’re going to stand a chance.”

“Oh ye of little faith in Zim.”

“Oh no.” Dib glanced over at the hologram. “You have a backup plan, don’t you.”

“Remember when you were complaining about my ‘delaying’ you?” Zim said, casually pulling some sort of controller out of his Pak. “Something about my ‘stupid pet project’?”

“Please tell me you don’t have a backup plan. Tell me you didn’t.”

Zim’s smirk said he did. “Why don’t you turn around?”

Dib realized most of the other mecha had already turned back to face the city. Slowly, he joined them.

A dozen hamsters twice as tall as the city’s highest skyscrapers were dragging themselves out of the ground like zombies out of their graves. Metal reindeer antlers were jammed into their skulls, the lights on the tips flashing red and green as they received the transmissions from Zim’s controller.

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Zim chuckled wickedly. “I call them Mega Ultra Peepis. Or—for this battle—Krampus’s Little Helpers.”

“Ohhh no.”

Zim lifted up his controller. “Oh, Little Helpers?” he said. “It is time for you to fulfill the glorious purpose that ZIM has given you! Come! Join the battle against the Santa!”

With murderous hisses, the hamsters charged toward the battlefield, mouths open wide and yellow teeth gleaming.

Dib really, really hoped they were going for Santa instead of the mecha.

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Fic crossposted to AO3, link to the fic in the source of this post and link to my AO3 in my blog description. If you’d like to drop me a tip, link’s also in my description. Merr crimmus.

#invader zim #christmas #zim #dib #zadf #(i mean like they hate each other but look they're a team they are clearly also friends)#fanfic #my writing #(i would like to dedicate this fic to noirandchocolate)#(for gleefully posting annual reminders of how long it's been since zim nearly depopulated earth & killed the tallest with his santa scheme)#(i haven't proofed this yet because an hour ago I didn't know I was going to write it but I desperately wanted to get it out on Christmas)

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goatsandgangsters · 5 years ago

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Pokemon AU: Team NY Part Two (Elite Four)

—A collaboration with @meyerlansky —Though this is set in the Unova region, we said “fuck it” with regards to which Pokemon are actually found in what region—because that’s limiting and less fun —The Elite Four edits below were made in (*checks metadata*) jesus, 2016. Pokemon that are more recently released were not largely accounted for in our plan (though some Galarian pokemon were so good, we had to revise) —Part One (Trainers) can be viewed here —Edits are done roughly to scale with character and pokemon heights. There aren’t many good trainer makers out there, so I used (slightly edited) in-game character art for them

The road to becoming the Elite Four for the Unova region was not an easy one. While they grew as trainers and as friends, Charlie, Meyer, Benny, and Frank went head-to-head with some of the region’s toughest trainers and gym leaders—plus two warring Team Rocket factions competing for control of Unova’s robust underbelly. Along the way, they grew stronger teams, developed their type preferences, and fought their way to become the latest and strongest installment Unova’s Elite Four.

BENNY SIEGEL, ELITE FOUR (Fighting/Fairy):

Pokemon Team (left to right) with Pokedex entries:

Galarian Rapidash (psychic/fairy): “Little can stand up to its psycho cut. Unleashed from this Pokémon's horn, the move will punch a hole right through a thick metal sheet.”

Primeape (fighting): “It will beat up anyone who makes it mad, even if it has to chase them until the end of the world.”

Florges (fairy): “It controls the flowers it grows. The petal blizzards that Florges triggers are overwhelming in their beauty and power.”

Pangoro (fighting/dark): “It charges ahead and bashes its opponents like a berserker, uncaring about any hits it might take. Its arms are mighty enough to snap a telephone pole.”

Gallade (psychic/fighting): “Because it can sense what its foe is thinking, its attacks burst out first, fast, and fierce.”

Mienshao (fighting): “When Mienshao lets out a bizarre wail, you're in danger. A flurry of kicks and chops too fast to see is about to be unleashed!”

Benny’s team is the perfect mixture of flash and brute force—much like his battle strategy. As the first member of the Elite Four that trainers face, Benny’s battles are filled with heavy-hitting moves.

While most of his team is comprised of fighting Pokemon that match his own temperament and battle strategy, Benny surprises challengers with the addition of two fairy-types on his team. Early on in their days as the Elite Four, Charlie gave Benny a hard time about choosing fairy-type Pokemon. Benny’s Florges delivered one attack that knocked out all of Charlie’s dragons in one hit; he has since stopped commenting on Benny’s team choices. No one else in the League would say a word against him either—Benny is known to be short-tempered and eager for a battle.

In addition to his love of battling, Benny enjoys collecting shiny Pokemon, ever since he caught his shiny Floette at the start of his journey. Now evolved into his small-but-powerful Florges, it stands alongside a shiny Gallade on his team. He also traveled to the distant Galar region to catch a Rapidash—purely because it “looks awesome,” to quote the Elite Four member.

A battle against Benny is usually a short one. His Pokemon hit hard and fast, and they’ll do anything to win.

CHARLIE LUCIANO, ELITE FOUR (Fire/Dragon):

Pokemon Team (left to right) with Pokedex entries:

Pyroar (fire/normal): “The males are usually lazy, but when attacked by a strong foe, a male will protect its friends with no regard for its own safety.”

Goodra (dragon): “It's very friendly toward people. If you grow close to it, Goodra will hug you with its sticky, slime-covered body. Don't get mad.”

Charizard (fire/dragon): “It is said that Charizard's fire burns hotter if it has experienced harsh battles.”

Tyrantrum (rock/dragon): “Nothing could stop this Pokémon 100 million years ago, so it behaved like a king.”

Arcanine (fire): “A Pokémon that has long been admired for its beauty. It runs agilely as if on wings.”

Houndoom (dark/fire): “Identifiable by its eerie howls, people a long time ago thought it was the grim reaper and feared it.”

Ever since Charlie’s first Pokemon, Charmander, his early affinity for fire-type Pokemon continued throughout his career as a trainer. However, the weakness to commonly found water-type Pokemon left him vulnerable. After discovering Mega Evolution that would change his beloved Charizard into fire/dragon, the new type speciality seemed obvious to strengthen his team.

His team is a mix of both fire and dragon types. This approach was seen as unconventional at first, as members of the Elite Four have historically only specialized in one type of Pokemon. When pressed for comment on this break from tradition, Charlie shrugged. “What’s that got to do with me? My team’s stronger this way—ain’t that the whole point?”

Along with his starter Pokemon (now evolved into a Charizard), his dragon-type Goomy and his fire/dark-type Houndour are still part of his team in their final evolution stages, having grown in strength over the years. The Arcanine was a natural addition among Charlie’s fire-type and dog-like Pokemon collection. Information is scarce as to how he acquired the ancient powerhouse Tyrantrum. Rumor has it that Charlie won an odd rock in a battle and thought he’d been ripped off; it was Meyer who recognized the ancient fossil for what it was.

The fire-type Pyroar was originally trained by Meyer as a Litleo, then traded for Charlie’s Deino. This was Charlie’s idea, as he and Meyer developed their respective interest in fire and dark Pokemon. Both Pokemon are loyal and devoted to their new trainers—as much as the two trainers are to each other.

Charlie is a fierce competitor who battles with a hard offense, though his ability to strategize has been honed over the years. His team of Pokemon form a strong and loyal pack, protective of their trainer and just as determined to win and prove their strength.

FRANK COSTELLO, ELITE FOUR (Normal):

Pokemon Team (left to right) with Pokedex entries:

Staraptor (normal/flying): “It never stops attacking even if it is injured. It fusses over the shape of its comb.”

Miltank (normal): “Most people raise it for its milk, but it's quite tough and strong, so it's also well suited for battle.”

Ursaring (normal): “With its ability to distinguish any smell, it unfailingly finds all food buried deep underground.”

Bewear (normal/fighting): “This Pokémon has the habit of hugging its companions. Many Trainers have left this world after their spines were squashed by its hug.”

Kangaskhan (normal): “To protect its young, it will never give up during battle, no matter how badly wounded it is.”

Kecleon (normal): “A Pokémon that has the ability to alter its body colors to match its surroundings. A Kecleon reverts to its original colors if it is startled.”

Frank has the distinction of being the first-ever Elite Four trainer to specialize in normal-type Pokemon. He considers them sturdy and strong, with minimal influence from type-based strengths and weaknesses. This allows Frank to focus solely on his battle strategy, using a range of careful defensive and stat moves alongside some powerhouse offensive attacks from his Pokemon team.

He hasn’t changed his style much since his trainer days. But don’t let Frank’s understated presence deceive you—his Pokemon pack a punch. His Ursaring—once the tiny Teddiursa that accompanied him as a young trainer—is a hard fighter. Despite its cute appearance, Bewear is a Pokemon known for its incredible strength; it’s also known as a protective Pokemon that will go into a rage to protect those it cares about.

Frank’s Kecleon has also grown alongside him over the years. While it isn’t quite the powerhouse in terms of pure strength as the rest of his team, it does have the unique ability to blend into its surroundings and to change its type depending on the opponent. Over the years, Frank has mastered using Kecleon’s color change ability to undermine his opponent’s strategy and turn the tables on a battle.

Frank is the third member of the Elite Four that trainers must face. He prefers being later in the lineup—being after Benny and Charlie means that he sees less action. While he has a sharp mind for battles and strong Pokemon at his side, Frank enjoys using the downtime outside of the League to tend to his berry patch.

MEYER LANSKY, ELITE FOUR (Dark):

Pokemon Team (left to right) with Pokedex entries:

Golurk (ground/ghost): “It is said that Golurk were ordered to protect people and Pokémon by the ancient people who made them.”

Bisharp (dark/steel): “Bisharp doesn't even change its expression when it deals the finishing blow to an opponent.”

Sableye (dark/ghost): “Sableye lead quiet lives deep inside caverns. They are feared, however, because these Pokémon are thought to steal the spirits of people when their eyes burn with a sinister glow in the darkness.”

Hydreigon (dark/dragon): “The three heads take turns sinking their teeth into the opponent. Their attacks won't slow until their target goes down.”

Weavile (dark/ice): “They live in cold regions, forming groups of four or five that hunt prey with impressive coordination.”

Scrafty (dark/fighting): “While mostly known for having the temperament of an aggressive ruffian, this Pokémon takes very good care of its family, friends, and territory.”

The strongest and final member of Unova’s Elite Four, Meyer is a cunning trainer with a natural knack for strategy and a smile more chilling than the snowy town where he first started his Pokemon journey. His dark-type team is a force to be reckoned with, carefully chosen for strategy as well as strength. Each of his five dark-type Pokemon boast different secondary types, affording a wide range of powerful moves and posing an additional challenge to anyone who would battle him.

The dark/ice Weavile from his original team embodies his specialty as a trainer, with its sharp claws and intellect. The little Scraggy from his trainer days has also remained a vital member of his team, now evolved into the no-less-tiny but far more powerful Scrafty. His team is rounded out by Sableye, a dangerous dark/ghost Pokemon with few weaknesses, and a disciplined and forceful Bisharp. The Hydreigon is evolved from the Deino he received from Charlie, in exchange for Meyer’s Litleo early in their journeys.

The only exception to his dark-type team is the ground/ghost Golurk; the bond between trainer and Pokemon has only grown stronger since that day many years ago when Meyer first found the little Golett in the snow. The ancient Pokemon is said to be a protector, and its strength coupled with Meyer’s natural knack for strategy has won them many battles.

Meyer is the final member of the Elite Four that trainers must defeat before going on to challenge the Champion. To date, only one trainer has ever managed to progress past Meyer. He has gone on record with the League stating that it will never happen again; so far, he has kept his word.

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The Unova Elite Four is comprised of four trainers who have grown together to become the strongest in the region. They were installed as the Elite Four under former League Champion Arnold Rothstein, whose psychic-based team never saw any action with these four guarding the path to the Champion.

Only one trainer has ever managed to defeat them all—a woman from the Kanto region, with a strong, diversified team. The unexpected victor Margaret Rohan has been the presiding League Champion for several years since.

#Boardwalk Empire #benny siegel #charlie luciano #frank costello #meyer lansky #boardwalk au #pokemon au #my writing #my edits #THANK YOU TO THE ANON WHO REMINDED ME ABOUT THIS AU #it's... a lot of fun #I plan on making a team ny part 3 with AR and Margaret's team (plus some Team Rocket action)#and then I dooooon't have as much worldbuilding for the other regions unfortunately #but I DO also have finished teams for Gillian Sally Angela and Al that I think are v good and I should post as well at some point

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a-beast-of-prey · 5 years ago

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▌𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: Forever unknown and doomed to be known only as K’ (pronounced Kay Dash, not Kay Apostraphe. K Prime also works, but if you call him that to his face, he’ll deck you).

▌𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍: Single. Though I do have some writing partners whose muses he’s shacked up with, since I multiship. However, they all belong to their own seperate continuities/verses and don’t overlap unless all parties agree to it.

▌𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒/ 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒: Pyrokinesis; wields Kusanagi fire from his right hand only. Can sometimes make the fire manifest as small explosions, adding extra oomph to punches. Also able to kick it out in projectiles. Translocation; has a branch ability of the technique where he appears to completely freeze time for roughly three seconds. Minorly boosted strength and healing capabilities thanks to genetic manipulation and modifications. Rather uncanny aim with thrown projectiles (especially if they’re odd, like eyewear).

▌𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑: Blue. Exact shade seems to change, but a sky or slate blue might be the most consistent. (I know I use “icy” as a descriptor a lot, but it’s more for the emotional coldness they give off than the actual colour. Plus the juxtaposition with his flame powers lmao)

▌𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑: Snowy white. Platinum or silver also kinda works.

▌𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒: Older sister, Seirah, who is dead but got cloned. The clone also responds to Seirah, but is more commonly known as Whip. May or may not have a mother and father somewhere in the world. Or they could be dead. Who knows? Certainly not this poor lad. :^)

▌𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒: None; can’t afford to look after one on the team’s current budget, and it also isn’t safe for an animal to hang around them when they’re still being hunted for the powers in their bodies. Used to have a dog as a child, pre-kidnapping.

▌𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄: Sweets, King of Fighters tournaments, and being controlled by people.

▌𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒/𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒: Sleeping, riding his motorcycle, reading, yoga.

▌𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄: Lots of people. Mostly NESTS personnel and assassination targets for NESTS before defecting from them.

▌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌: Crows, beasts of prey (mostly wolves, tigers, and lions), lazy asshole cats.

▌𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒: Rude; tendency to take his temper out on others... generally with fists and fire; smoking and drinking; isolates himself, especially when he’s hurting emotionally; bottles up vulnerability until it eventually explodes; leaves his sunglasses collection everywhere so it all gets sat on/thrown in the wash/generally ruined; deliberately throws those same sunglasses at people’s faces and doesn’t care about how many pairs break or how much it costs because it looks cool; binge eating or starving himself when depression is at its worst.

▌𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐒: None. Admires certain qualities in people around him, but doesn’t put them on quite that high of a pedestal because he sees them more like equals.

▌𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: Bisexual.

▌𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄/𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒: His immediate thoughts are no thank you and fuckitty bye. He has enough commitment issues (and issues in general) that make it difficult to enter a meaningful relationship in the first place, let alone marrying someone. Eighteen is also too young to be thinking of that shit anyhow. Big no to kids too for the same reason, and also because he’s terrified of the idea that any nut spawn that come from him are going to grow up as sad and messed up as he is. Also acutely aware of the fact that he can barely take care of himself some days, so he’d struggle with a little snot goblin that depends on him. Might consider adoption, maybe... Though this would have to be a very tight-knit relationship that’s been going on for years to even entertain the thought, mind you.

▌𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒: Hospitals and lab settings; having the few people he sees as friends abandon him completely; losing his flames (even if he sees them as a burden, he figures he’s useless without them, and will be abandoned accordingly); the hypothetical loss of all sense of self, and also completely forgetting his friends, should he ever start regaining his lost memories.

▌𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒: All black leather is his main go-to. Otherwise he just wears whatever the fuck is comfortable, regardless of ugliness of colour and/or patterning. Tacky Hawaiian print shirts are a favourite for some reason - probably Maxima’s abysmal dad fashion sense™ rubbing off on him. Generally prefers jeans and long pants. Tightness and looseness of all clothing varies. If applicable, jackets and button up shirts must be open so he can breast boobily. Often ditches shirts under jackets and hoodies like a tosser because it looks cool, irregardless of, say, nipple chafe from leather. Almost never seen without his cross necklace because it’s very important to him. Always has a minimum of one to three pairs of sunglasses on his person at all times, even if you can’t see them being worn on his face.

▌𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄: Platonic sense? He’s got Maxima, Kula, and Whip/Seirah. Romantically is, again, verse and partner dependant because I multiship.

▌𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒: Never initiates them and actively pushes people away with prickliness and rudeness instead. But if you can somehow tolerate his bullshit with patience and kindness without abusing it, or his trust, over enough time, there will be a slight shift in demeanour, mostly without him realising it. He’s still rude as hell, but there’s no bite to his insults anymore. True friends earn unwavering loyalty - the kind where he will fight and lay his life down for you, if necessary - and quiet and subtle shows of kindness. More open displays of kindness are not only mega rare, but awkward. But it’s kind of endearing and cute... just don’t tell him that or he’ll sulk.

▌𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊: Coffee. Beer too.

▌𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐓: The beach. In the apartment he shares with Maxima and Kula; the couch is his favourite spot, as is the kitchen. Roaring down any stretch of road on his bike.

▌𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍: Ocean is preferable, but he’ll take whatever he can get on a hot day.

▌𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄: Anyone who can put up with his bitchass to begin with, tbh. Looking at some of my ships though... rays of sunshine, or someone who meets his snark with equal snark, seem to stand out. Superficially, if they’re hot in some fashion he’s going to have a passing interest. Mmmmmight have a thing for larger men lowkey? A fan of big chests on anyone; they’re optimal pillows. Someone who can kick his ass just as much as he kicks theirs.

▌𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐒: Indoors. He’s not afraid of going into the woods at all, but if given a choice, he’s melting into a couch and never stepping foot outside unless necessary. He’s lazy and is loath to part with creature comforts.

TAGGED BY: nobody; I stole it from several people when it was making rounds a few weeks ago

TAGGING: *reaches thru my screen to boop ur nose*

#♱ [MEMES] chance encounters #{{oops this got very long because of elaborations}}

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residuosenelplaneta · 2 years ago

Text

Associations for the enviroment

Colavorative

septiembre 19, 2022

Team 1

The Program focuses on Mexico City

Most days in Mexico City the weather is cloudy, with rain, storms.

The name of this program is Plastic Menace and its purpose is to recognize the impact of plastic pollution. For this reason, it is essential that this information serves so that each actor assumes the responsibility that corresponds to him to stop this contamination.

Some of the activities that will take place are:

1. We have carried out extensive documentary research.

2. We have analyzed the most polluting companies.

3. I have carried out a scientific procedure to determine the amount of microplastics in a given space.

4. We have carried out the total waste counts.

5. I have made an article of the 2022 brand audit results.

The activities we plan to do are:

1. I am going to monitor the presence of plastic waste on beaches, rivers and Parks.

2. I am going to assign responsibilities to companies whose products They are polluting the ecosystems.

3. I am going to separate the waste by type of plastic article. Ximena Paez

jj In Mexico we can find different organizations which act in favor of the environment, as is the case of the World Wide Fund for Nature, this NGO is one of the largest at the international level and has been present in Mexico since 1990, because Mexico is a mega-diverse country, this organization usually works in places throughout the republic, such as the Chihuahua desert, where the climate is usually cold throughout the year, although during the day this place reaches from 35 to 40 ° C, where Animals such as the comet fox and others live there, as well as the biome's own fauna. It also works in places such as the monarch butterfly sanctuary in Michoacán where sub-humid and temperate climates predominate.

In general, our mission as an organization is to preserve the biodiversity of Mexico, generating local solutions with a global impact, promoting a prosperous future within the country, although this is not limited to just the country, the organization also acts in the rest of the countries of the world.

[7:We have created campaigns proposing solutions to problems such as overfishing

We have worked to protect freshwater sources

We have worked to promote smart agriculture

We have restored some marine ecosystems

We have created and managed protected areas for the conservation of species, as well as research, education, environmental awareness and implementation of policies in favor of the environment.

We are going to improve the production and distribution of food as well as reduce its waste.

We are goig to create a world powered by green energies.

We are going to maintain biodiversity within the world's ecosystems. Enrique

Hello everyone

This is Ximena

I have been in Tláhuac, CDMX, since last month I travelled in dr.

2) The waether over here is cloudy and rainy, I like to much the cloudy weather.

3) I'm colaborate with Euroclima and the purpose is redue vulnerability to the effects of climate change, articulating global climate change agendas, biodiversity conservation, sustenable development and reduction of nok disastres.

4) I've recored the consuming of water

l've separated trash

I've plant trees.

l've reduced the consuming of plastic.

I've advantaged of sunlight.

Im going to decrase electruly consume.

Im going to reuse electronics

Im going to avoid exessive use of car Ximena Bernal

This is Marco Antonio Mondragon Monrroy and the last summer I have been in Merrifid, Merrifield is a place County, Virginia. In Merrifield, the summers are warns and humid, the winters ary very cold and snowy, and it is partly cloudy year round. I really love it, the experience with herished land scapes and wildlife has helped define and shope our national character and identily for generations.

I am collaborating with National Wildlife Federation, the Purpose is the proticting these natural resources that has long united Americans from all walks of life and political stripes. This conservation ethic represents a sacked duty and obligation to protect and build upon our conservation heritage for the sake

sake of wildlife, ourselves, our neighbors, and most of al for the future generations.

I have saved America's wildlife for future generations.

-We have consered water, a vital element in life

-I have created management strategies in various wonderful lands Focused on the future.

- We have adressed environmental problems that threaten healthy populations that put species at risk

I have helped habitats that need to be protected, restored and connected

-We are going to work with problems at the intersection of opportunity and crisis.

- 1'm going participate to help make the planet a happy and healthy place to live.

I'm going to create the promotion of more inclusive outdoor experiences for all. Marco.

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angryzilla · 7 years ago

Text

Here’s a masterlist of all my Fantastic Beasts fanfictions — I go by as na_shao (little_fella) on AO3.

» Pressed into the gravel, pressed into the dirt, pressing against each other in an effort to make the minutes stop (M)

Word count: 6991 / 11 chapters — this fic has been discontinued

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, graphic depictions of torture, recovery, fix-it

Description: He knows it’s the darkest magic he has ever faced in his life when he stumbles upon Gellert Grindelwald sitting on his sofa.

» Now high above your golden veins (the life, the life, the life) (E)

Word count: 2515 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff and angst, porn with feelings, mentions of PTSD

Description: People can get used to anything out of spite and worry; he feels like it is the only thing he's learned that's of any use from his own story; and too soon, too soon the cold could kill the last blooms of roses and hydrangea but he will never let it happen to Percival.

» Through the silence of fireflies (E)

Word count: 1449 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff and smut, lingerie, mentions of PTSD

Description: Grace, and wonder, and the overwhelming realisation that Credence is his, with a ring on his finger, with dawn breathing in his lungs and a cold kiss to lessen the blow of the past.

» Long beside the bitter of the skin (tomorrow won’t know when to begin) (E)

Word count: 2365 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff and angst, blowjobs, mentions of PTSD, mentions of past violent events, healer!Credence

Description: His scarf is knotted over his mouth before he lowers it to his neck again, wanting to feel the rush of icy wind. The snow bites into his face, prickling the rim of the head where the hair starts coming out. The drifting accumulation and fragments of bone taken from the wound. A slash of blood against snowy fields. There are days where it’s hard to care about ordinary things.

» Every moment undone (implosions of beauty back to where we begun) (M)

Word count: 1356 / Part of the Kalopsia series

Tags / warnings: Alternate Universe (canon divergence), modern AU (still magical universe), PSTD, Graves is emotionally constipated, Angry cloud Credence

Description: "Why are you handing me this?” Credence mumbles with his cigarette between his lips as he points at the sweater Graves is offering, dark eyebrow arched; the floor under the soles of his shoes feels incoherent, as if asphalt cracks were being pushed apart in every direction. ”I thought you hated my guts.” ”When did I say that?” Graves grumbles back, arm still stretched out with the material clenched between the flesh-shaped tan of his fingers.

» Where the roses grow (T)

Word count: 856 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: Aftermath of torture, post-Grindelwald, established relationship, mentions of torture and violence, PTSD, healing

Description: Unexpectedly, autumn nights brought a new sense of joy under their wing. It took nearly a year of intensive care and rehabilitation for Graves to go back home after Credence, Theseus and a team of Aurors found him bathing in his own blood.

» I’m all but washed (in the tide of her breathing) (G)

Word count: 1024 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: Genderswap, fluff, super married ladies

Description: She reaches long arms around her; her blooming Prussian blue rose, her darling ink-spilled sky of silver constellations— and Constance feels a presence behind her a split second before there’s an arm snaking its way around her stomach, pressing very gently; the Obscurus sparks up from the sweater-framed back in rolls of gasoline dust and crackling, sizzling little bolts of lightning, until it recognises the bearer of those hands (a compass, a path, a polestar)—

» And there’ll be sun, sun, sun all down our necks (G)

Word count: 256 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: Fluff, established relationship

Description: “You’re going to fry your brain if you stay there all afternoon,” Percival says softly, leaning down to kiss Credence’s forehead before he extends a hand toward the younger man. “Come swim with me?” As Credence grabs his hand and manages to stand on his feet, he pulls Percival to him; their mouths meet easily under the burning summer sun, and Credence’s lips are cold against his, eager to be tasted and messed with.

» Closer and closer, we’re crashing ships in the night (E)

Word count: 424 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: Gratuitous smut, discovering they have feelings, breaking up & making up

Description: They break up on a Monday evening and Theseus slaps him so hard that Percival’s cheek blooms purple in the days that follow. They make it up on a Friday morning two years later and Theseus is sprawled on Percival’s desk, peach-colored legs spread wide and cock leaking everywhere on the files underneath him.

» And in the flood of morning light — spilling out across your room — you say the words will get there soon (E)

Word count: 1866 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, PTSD, pets, recovery

Description: It starts when he visits Theseus in London, a few months into 1926. “Thes?” “Hmm?” “Your brother’s big cat keeps bothering me.”

» I’m caught in the ropes and the wires; the sun settles hard in the south (M)

Word count: 456 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: PTSD, angst, mentions of blood and severe torture

Description: The water of his bath is cooling and he’s haunted, haunted by demons and images and his inability to even speak; too quiet, bound and falling into a dark, blood-threshed water where ripples are ropes curling around his wrists and ripping the flesh apart only to leave a bloody mess behind as it bites his lungs and he can’t breathe and can’t remember his name, a name, his — something.

» He was born to blow your mind or something along those lines, tonight (E)

Word count: 1239 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: makeup shenanigans, lipstick, smut, fluff

Description: “I miss you wearing lipstick, darling.” Theseus frowns over his cup of tea, his eyelashes pale waves that echo through space. “It was one time at that queer jazz bar. You liked it that much?“ “You looked marvelous with it. I keep thinking about it, from time to time.”

» Trembling hands (E)

Word count: 398 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: angst, war, mentions of blood, graphic description of violence

Description: Smoke pierces his eyes, making tears try to crawl out into the open while dread runs cold in his veins.“You triple fucker,” Theseus sobs while trying to examine the wound, and swears under his breath, “stop moving! I can’t— I can’t do it—”

» Untitled Fratboys AU (E)

Word count: on going — 10k for now, two or three parts; find bits I posted here and here

Tags / warnings: mentions of past abuse at the hands of former partners, mentions of panic attacks and anxiety disorder/depression, a large amount of smut and greasy jokes, fratboys setting, modern AU

» “You killed him!” (E)

Word count: 1276 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: angst, major character death, ANGST (did I already WRITE ANGST already??)

Description: “You killed him!” Theseus shouts, his pale fingers curling around the edge of his wand as he peers around the room, Percival’s body lying in a pool of oxidized blood, almost black at the rim.It blends together with the floor like a film of gasoline spreading all over the asphalt, thick and enveloping and forever snatching whatever was underneath it. Snatched; that’s the word. Percival was snatched from him, was vanished into nothingness before he could even get to him. You failed him.

» The tale of the cute kitten and the wisdom teeth (G)

Word count: 98 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: utter fluff, mega diabetes incoming

Description: Imagine Percival after having his wisdom teeth pulled out. Still woozy and loose lipped from the anaesthetics. He becomes very cuddly and giggly mixed with teary at the strangest things (think bursting into tears because a kitten is too fluffy and cute).

» The one where he gets Theseus’ little brother’s approval (G)

Word count: 515 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff

Description: Theseus and Newt are really close. When Percival gathers up the courage to try to court Theseus he knows he’ll have to win over not just Newt but also his creatures too otherwise Theseus would never be amenable. So Percival gets ready to face off against hostile, wild creatures (which includes Newt). He’s surprised that instead Newt willingly helps him court his brother and even offers the assistance of his creatures.

» Not every soul will sink like the setting sun (E)

Word count: 2463 / One-Shot written for Day 4 of the first edition of @fantasticsmutbeastsweek — In Public / Getting Caught

Tags / warnings: blood, war, blowjob, in public, mention of trauma, mention of bullet injury, oral sex, established relationship, mention of alcohol, dumb aurors in love

Description: “Fuck this shit,” he manages to grunt in disbelief, blood rushing through the arteries still, “‘m not dying on the goddamn battlefield.” “I’ll haunt you until I drive your ghost fucking crazy if you do,” a familiar voice rises behind him, and suddenly colours explode back before Theseus’ eyelids.There’s warm pressure against his head, the rough pads of fingers touching the sensitive skin of his neck; the nudge of a tongue against his teeth.

» Collapse (T)

Word count: 728 / part 1; part 2 being What must be broken is left to rearrange

Tags / warnings: mentions of torture, PTSD, Percival wants to protect Theseus and is dumb, feelings, angst

Description: Theseus knows that he’s lying, and Percival knows that he knows. Where in Hell did he think his partner in— pretty much everything would buy the whole I’m fine, please don’t worry, just a few broken bones?It’s here, the look of hurt and disappointment, and it’s tangible, and he feels it pull at his chest. “I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me, Perce.”

» What must be broken is left to rearrange (T)

Word count: 1108 / follow-up to Collapse

Tags / warnings: mentions of torture, PTSD, Percival wants to protect Theseus and is dumb, feelings, angst

Description: Collapsed, but not defeated. Rise. Percival is kneeling by his side, looking down at him, eyes dark with worry, breathing fast as if he had run miles and miles to get to him. Theseus can see a few bandages poke out from underneath his hospital gown where it’s open and it makes his stomach churn; they’re a proof that he took so long to make it through to him, to this disgusting cell he was kept in, in his own living room, in his own home.

» “I sleep with the boss” / “I am the boss” (T)

Word count: 307 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: married couple, established relationship, a LOT OF FUN, sexy innuendos

Description: MACUSA as a whole has gotten used to it, really. Queenie nods absently at Percival as she places his mug of coffee on his desk, trying to pass off as listening, but really just biting off her lower lip as to avoid laughing in her boss’ face. “So, you’re the boss today?” she asks softly, cheeks a gentle pink under the harsh yellow lights of the office.

» Real or not real? (G)

Word count: 1403 / written for the @fantasticbeastscalendar

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, angst with a happy ending, dissociation, aftermath of torture

Description: “Let’s do something,” Theseus says, and licks his lips, pressing them together before speaking up again. “Ask me things, things only the real Theseus Scamander can know.”

» Everything starts to rewind (G)

Word count: 735 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, food, chubby!Graves, angst with a happy ending, aftermath of torture, Aurors In Love

Description: Graves manages to furtively eat another slice of cake while Theseus’ back is turned, forkfuls shoved inside his mouth at the speed of light. Theseus is willing to turn a blind eye to this because Percival went through hell and came back so thin his lover wondered how he even made it through alive.

» A waltz in your bloodstream (E)

Word count: 2538 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: fluff and smut, domestic fluff, smears of angst, slice of life, porn with feelings

Description: “He’s one to keep,” his step-father had said in the dying violet hour of their home in Bath. “He likes apple pie. He’s a good person.” Theseus let out a laugh. “It’s not just about liking pies, Dad.” If only liking apple pie made this world worthwhile for all its flaws and clouds of despair.

» There'll never be an end to our journey (E)

Word count: 1495 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: fluff and smut, domestic fluff, weddings, uniform worship, body worship and praise

Description: Theseus has to stifle a giggle when Percival pushes him on the bed and nearly falls flat on the floor in his haste of worshipping his uniform-clothed husband, the most gorgeous sight to have ever graced his eyes in a long time. “I’m sorry,” Percival mumbles apologetically to him, afraid of having broken the moment, but Theseus catches him by the wrist, still laughing.

» The one with a broken ankle (T)

Word count: 596 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: fluff, domestic fluff, fun times

Description: Percival Graves is the kind of person who if they break their ankle they would use the crutch to play office golf. Theseus Scamander is the kind of person who would get jealous and want a broken ankle just so he too could play office golf with his crutch.

» Tomorrow (G)

Word count: 1010 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: heavy angst, amnesia fic, established relationship, implied heavy torture

Description: It doesn’t sit right with him, the reason why Graves would visit him every single day just because his leg got shattered to pieces in a mission.

» But you’re losing your words (we’re speaking in bodies) (E)

Word count: 1380 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: smut smut smut, daddy kink, desk sex

Description: "Come on, Newt. Of course you like calling me Daddy." The shades are drawn in Percival’s home office, the only light being of the desk lamp, warm and orange, pouring in, pouring everywhere around them. "Not true," Newt mumbles low, chest pressed against the hardwood of Percival's desk, his dress shirt of almost phosphorescent blue discarded in the chair nearby. "I don't."

» The one where Percival Graves is a father figure to three dragons (G)

Word count: 417 / Incoming second part

Tags / warnings: fluff, chosen family, Graves is a sap with his dragon sons, established relationship

Description: “Winston! Philip! Barnaby! Enough is enough!” Newt shouts through the room as he walks into the meeting Percival is currently holding with his team regarding the process of securing a specific upcoming event Picquery is going to get part of. “Leave your father alone! He’s working!”

» The one where Newt is a cat who takes naps everywhere at MACUSA (G)

Word count: 361 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: fluff, established relationship

Description: Percival is far too tired to find the whole thing anything more than endearing when he finds Newt fast asleep in a corner of his office where sunlight has decided to settle.The older man bites his lip, looks like he’s deciding whether to lie down with his husband or to wake him up until all defenses are lost and he can’t help but curl up in the mazoologist’s arms.

» It’s a question of style (G)

Word count: 306 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: fluff, established relationship, a lot of fun

Description: “I feel like your husband is very stylish,” a junior Auror says to Percival one day as he helps her review one of her upcoming missions. “His curls are so— bouncy and wonderful! I can never quite get that myself. ”Percival chuckles, and for a moment, the poor junior thinks she has made a giant mistake. “Oh, Martha, if only you knew.”

» We’ll lay here for years or for hours (your hand in my hand, so still and discreet) (E)

Word count: 666 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: smut smut smut, implied ot3, blowjobs, body worship

Description: ”I see that a certain Percival has been feeding you well while I was away,” Theseus grins as he bites into Credence’s creamy thigh, generous and plump, everything Theseus happens to love in him.

» We left footprints in the slush of ourselves (E)

Word count: 41821 / on going; 4 chapters

Tags / warnings: angst, emotional hurt, post-Grindelwald, unhealthy coping mechanisms, PTSD, past child abuse, fix-it, recovery, coming together

Description: His skull is fucking cracked.Not actually cracked, mind you— or maybe it has been, for all it’s worth, and he hasn’t remembered yet. But it’s been split open and left for dead in that dirty cell of hell, and he hasn’t gotten it back. (Or how Percival eventually heals with Theseus and Credence. In which Theseus comes back to New York after Graves’ abduction at the hands of Grindelwald and moves in with him; Credence is lost and found, very angry and confused.)

» The one where Theseus needs comfort (T)

Word count: 523 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, PTSD

Description: Credence adjusts the blanket around Theseus’ shoulders gently, and he didn’t need to, really, the blanket being fine as it was; but it’s more about the gesture and the reassurance, the unspoken I’m here spelt between the lines. He doesn’t even mention the redness around his eyes, and for that, the Brit is grateful— Credence is like that, able to see past the wound in order to focus on the stitches there are to tighten.

» Exhale (G)

Word count: 2663 / One-Shot co-written with @maggieandthedragon

Tags / warnings: mild gore, hurt/comfort, PTSD, flashbacks

Description: Something about the way his Auror had slumped against the wall, blood leaking from his mouth had reminded him of Sam Crispin hung on concertina wire, bleeding and twitching in no man’s land as the gray sky clotted in his blood and flowers burnt all around. [Or: Theseus doesn't carry all of his scars on his skin. But at least he's not carrying them alone.]

» But the stars weren’t wrong, the time felt right (E)

Word count: 3001 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, Hanukkah, jewish holidays, fluff

Description: Feeling lulled by Percival’s thumb slipping back and forth across his temple, Credence breathes in deeply, curling his arms around Theseus, snuggles into his warmth. “Hanukkah is the festival of lights and we celebrate it to commemorate the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.”

» We’ll find how to make it with the rain; this rage will lead us through the burning plains (E)

Word count: 1731 / One-Shot

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Description: A kiss on his forehead; different hands at once on his cheeks (rough and calloused; thinner and irregular with welt bumps). “I know you’re awake.” Theseus opens his eyes and settles his emerald gaze upon the face peering down at him— lanky fingers curling in the deepening sheets, shadows blue with the cloudy, purplish day in London; and the windows grow thick with fog.

» And I heard you say, let’s lose ourselves out here always (E)

Word count: 4024 / One-Shot co-written with @maggieandthedragon

Tags / warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, post-WWII

Description: For Credence, the end of the war came in a brief flare of green smoke and the flutter of a piece of paper. The ripe scent of Floo flame-- melted paint, scorched wood, herbal and worn-- drifted through too big flat and he slid off the couch to go read it. It’s done. Home soon. -- PGG the neatly folded note read, as if Credence somehow couldn’t recognize his lover’s handwriting after eighteen years. An anticlimax in swooping calligraphy. After decades of anxiety as Grindelwald’s influence grew on the continent, nearly two years of fear as the United Kingdom went to war and MACUSA dithered and fought amongst itself before finally leaping into the fray. But it was done and Percival and Theseus would come home weary in body and soul and the least he could do was give his lovers a haven.

» Munich, 1929 (E)

Word count: 146 / co-written with @fractalspaces, edit by me

Tags / warnings: smut, angst, have unexpected feels

Description: There are cracks, sometimes, and eyes opened that show the deepest sadness— a sadness engraved in granite and bitterness; something much bigger than what they had, if they had anything at all.

» I’m the scrapes of iron your skin breathes (E)

Word count: 579 / One-Shot + playlist

Tags / warnings: murder husbands, disturbing imagery

Description: “You know this isn’t meant to last, dearest,” Grindelwald murmurs in his ear with a vice-like grip around his aching shoulder. “I have never expected more than that.” It’s a lie.

» The Impossible Winner

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves

Description: A dark post-Grindelwald mix about Graves’ recovery. Can be listened as a stand alone or linked to my Thesivaldence fic We left footprints in the slush of ourselves.

» I can feel it breathe

Character / Pairing: Credence Barebone

Description: An exploration of Credence’s Obscurus and of his anger.

» I’m the scrapes of iron your skin breathes

Character / Pairing: Gellert Grindelwald / Percival Graves

Description: An accompanying mix for the written piece of the same name.

» You, you turn the oceans into streams

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Newt Scamander (Gramander)

» Liminal Spaces

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Theseus Scamander / Credence Barebone (Thesivaldence)

Fic by @fractalspaces, edit by me

» Should’ve Known From My First Breath

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Credence Barebone (Gradence)

Fic by @fractalspaces , edit by me

» Revenant

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Credence Barebone (Gradence)

Fic by @myheadsamesssogimmetheslash, edit by me

» A bunch of married grumpy rabbits

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Theseus Scamander (Thesival)

Fic & moodboard by me

» Contain this or it will mean war

Character / Pairing: Seraphina Picquery

Commission for @letclestrcnge

» Wake up

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Theseus Scamander (Thesival)

Fic & moodboard by me

» Cross my heart and hope to die

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Theseus Scamander (Thesival)

Fic & moodboard by me

» Life to come

Character / Pairing: Percival Graves / Theseus Scamander / Credence Barebone (Thesivaldence)

Fic & moodboard by me

» Ko-Fi «

#masterlist #fanfic #fantastic beasts and where to find them #mine #long post #feel free to reblog <3

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peachychip85000 · 7 years ago

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*cries at how long this is going to be* @punk-rock-pixie

1. Name? Surname?

Iris Ortensia

Giselle ???

Timothy ???

2. Any family?

Iris has a mother and 3 older sisters

Giselle has no known family members

Timothy has both parents, a (slightly) older twin sister, and a younger sister and brother. His younger brother, Aaron, is @balancedpluto‘s apprentice, Aaron (who is romancing Asra)

3. Any familiar?

Iris: A pale purple kittyh with light blue points, and a pink crescent shape on her forehead. Her name is Iridescence.

Giselle: A glittery, white chameleon named Crystal.

Timothy: A sugar glider named SweetPea.

4. Asra, Nadia or Julian?

Iris: Julian

Giselle: ASra

Timothy: Nadia

5. Best strength in magic?

Iris: Potion brewing

Giselle: Uses her magic to heal plants and talk to animals.

Timothy: Trying to become a cryomancer, or someone who manipulates ice with magic.

6. Favorite color?

Iris: Lavender

Giselle: Light Green

Timothy: Periwinkle

7. Favorite number?

???????

8. Sexuality?

they’re all bi/pan

9. Weird hobby?

nothing weird lol

10. Favorite season?

Iris: Autumn

Giselle: Spring

Timothy: Winter

11. Favorite weather?

Iris: Rain

Giselle: Bright and sunny

Timothy: Cold/Snowy

12. Favorite place in Vesuvia?

Iris: Portia’s cottage. Pepi is there.

Giselle: The forest, when its not haunted by dead count goat ghost

Timothy: The palace, because Nadia’s there

13. How do their laught sounds like?

Iris snorts

Giselle giggles

Timothy asgdfjsdhfkj

14. How do they look like when they cry?

ghibli tears

15. What do they like to wear?

Iris: Loose corsets and flowy skirts

Giselle: Flowy dresses

Timothy: Comfortable things, but if its any shade of blue, its in his wardrobe.

16. What are their fears?

Iris: Something happening to Julian. Also spiders.

Giselle: Lucio

Timothy: Being alone

17. What do they like to do Friday night?

They all like to spend time with loved ones, getting food, and playing games.

18. Do they use makeup?

Yes

19. Favorite food?

Iris: Cheesy fettuccine alfredo with chicken

Giselle: Victoria sandwich

Timothy:Pizza

20. Favorite drink?

Iris: Strawberry lemonade

Giselle: Green tea

Timothy: Peppermint hot cocoa

21. Zodiac sign?

Iris: Libra

Giselle: Aries

Timothy: Sagittarius

22. Day of birth?

Iris: October 15th

Giselle: April 3rd

Timothy: December 12th

23. Favorite movie?

Iris: Barbie Island Princess/Rapunzel/Princess and the Pauper and Tangel, because she relates to Rapunzel a LOT.

Giselle: Ferngully and Don Bluth’s Thumbelina

Timothy: Star Wars, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and Cats Don’t Dance

24. Favorite music genre?

Iris: Everything, but especially Pop and 80s music.

Giselle: New Age (Enya/Celtice Woman/etc...)

Timothy: As a music enthusiast he loves everything, but Big Points if it sounds electronic and/or 80s.

They all love musical and movie soundtracks.

25. Favorite song?

Iris: Moonlight by Ariana Grande

Giselle: May it be by Enya

Timothy: He can’t choose a SONG but his favourite video game soundtracks are Undertale, Mega Man 2, and Kingdom Hearts.

26. Favorite tv show?

Iris: Parks and Rec, Chopped, other baking shows.

Giselle: Cosmos, Round Planet

Timothy: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Twilight Zone, and Stranger Things

27. What is their style?

Is this for, a Modern AU? If so then...

Iris: Hyper feminine and geeky

Giselle: Feminine and hippie/hipster. Lots of dresses and floral print.

Timothy: Cozy. He likes hoodies though.

28. Any mental health issues?

Iris’s MH started to decline when her father passed away. Her mother was never the most nurturing, especially towards Iris, who is the youngest of 4. She developed a lot of self worth issues, anxiety, and depression due to her mother’s verbal and emotional abuse.

Giselle has anxiety, but if she has any other issues she’s very good at hising them

Timothy has a lot of body image issues, as he’s considered short (5′5) and is also very lanky.

29. Any health issues in general?

Timothy is anemic and underweight.

30. Are they human?

yeah dude

31. Favorite book?

Iris: Ella Enchanted

Giselle: Harry Potter

Timothy: King Killer Chronicles

They all love Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit as well

32. Favorite book genre?

If you couldn’t guess they all love fantasy, but Timothy also loves sci-fi as well.

33. Favorite time of the day?

Iris: Dusk/Twilight

Giselle: Mid Day

Timothy: Night time

34. If they weren’t magician, who would they be?

Iris: Pastry chef

Giselle: Zoo Keeper or someone that help at animal sanctuaries.

Timothy: Musician/Composer.

35. Do they believe in ghosts?

Yes

36. Do they believe in aliens?

Iris wants to believe they’re real

Giselle doesn’’t, but she likes the idea of them

Timothy does, yes.

37. Do they like sport?

Neither of them “Sport” except for Iris, who does ballet.

38. How do they look like?

39. What is their biggest motivation to solve the Lucio’s killer mystery?

Iris: Wants to clear Julian’s name

Giselle: She was asked to, and became more curious as the case progressed.

Timothy: It’s important to Nadia, so it’s important to him.

40. What do they think of Lucio so far?

>:O

41. What do they think of Nadia so far?

They all love and respect her. Timothy thinks she’s a goddess and has Heart Eyes.

42. What do they think of Asra so far?

Iris: Close and trusted friend

Giselle: *blushy face*

Timothy: Very good friend. Considers him like a brother, considering his brother is going out with him.

43. What do they think of Julian so far?

Iris: im love my dumb husband

Giselle: He’s funny!

Timothy: hello??? if i was straight before I am Not Now.

44. What do they think of Portia so far?

Iris: Future sister in law and best friends

Giselle: She’s a sweetpea and I love her

Timothy: She’s cute and important to NAdia. Wants to get to know her better.

45. What do they think of Muriel so far?

BIG BOI

46. Do they like animals?

YES

47. Are they allergic to anything?

Timothy is allergic to grass and shellfish

48. Do they have any talents (except magic)?

Iris: Cooks, bakes, dances, and as been known to sing well.

Giselle: Jewelry making and making flower crowns

Timothy: Plays numerous instruments and can sing.

49. Do they get drunken easily?

They are all lightweights!!! Giselle doesn’t like alcohol, and Iris and Timothy are picky about their drinks. They like sweet drinks.

50. What is their personality type?

Its hard to answer this question because none of them fall under a certain archetype.

51. What is their worst negative quality?

Iris: Crybaby and hyper sensitive.

Giselle: Extremely naive.

Timothy: Empathetic and generous to a fault

52. What is their best positive quality?

I think for all of them its their willingness to help and caring nature.

53. What is their position to fall asleep?

Curl like a kitten

54. The most uncomfortable moment they ever experienced?

Iris: Telling her mother she was moving to Vesuvia.

Giselle:

Timothy: Finding out his brother and Asra were banging, to which Aaron responds with “well why are you banging the Countess?” Fair point.

55. Their happiest memory?

Spoiler the most recent update: Iris: Finding Julian alive and well.

Giselle: Finding her familiar, Crystal. They’ve been inseparable ever since.

Timothy: Nadia having feelings for him as well. He’s not confident in himslef, and having someone like Nadia even look at him makes him smile.

56. Do they blush?

Yes

57. Are they clumsy?

YES

58. Do they like jokes?

everyone likes jokes

59. How do they flirt?

Iris: Compliments Julian until he’s a blushy mess

Giselle: Makes flower crowns, or bracelets for Asra

Timothy: Nervously makes jokes. Nadia see’s he’s trying tho and finds it charming.

60. Favorite fruit?

Iris: Strawberries

Giselle: Apples

Timothy, through tears: What do you mean blue raspberries aren’t a real fruit???

Note: I had to redo this bc my laptop shut off on me right as I finished it the first time!! ; 0;

#long post #this has 60 questions #hayden y would u do nthis to m #the arcana #the arcana game #fan apprentice #iris #giselle #timothy

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shannrussell-blog1 · 6 years ago

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Camping and comfort. Camping products and technology have come a long way over the last two decades so there’s no reason why you can’t have both.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. A huge part of having an enjoyable camping trip is getting a good night’s sleep. In order to do that, you need a quality camping mattress.

I’ve been camping for longer than I can remember, and like most people started with the family hand-me-downs. For me, it was an inflatable air mattress that had plenty of patches and would occasionally go flat on me during the night. It allowed me to head out camping on a budget and not sleep on the dirt but, without fail, I always came home with a sore back – even when it didn’t go flat!

Camping has long been known for ‘roughing it’. There’s nothing wrong with that (in its place) but at some point in time, you realise that a bad night’s sleep and a sore back takes away from an otherwise amazing trip.

Doesn’t get much better than the Black Wolf Mega Deluxe.

So, I did the usual thing (for me!) and bought several cheap mattresses over a period of time, trying to save money, and as usual, ended up spending more money than if I had bought a decent mattress to start off with. None were comfortable and none gave me a good night’s sleep.

That was until I picked up a Black Wolf Mega Deluxe Mattress from Snowys. (Thanks for the free delivery to Western Australia guys!)

About the Black Wolf Mega Deluxe

The Mega Deluxe is self-inflating. You literally roll the mattress out, unscrew two valves and it pumps itself up. What you end up with is a mattress that is part air and part foam. Well-known in the camping industry to be the most comfortable sleeping arrangement.

The clever new inflate valve. Open it up and let it puff up. Easy as that.

It’s the top-of-the-range mattress in the Black Wolf range and, combined with a lifetime warranty, you really can’t go wrong.

The mattress itself is 198cm long, 77cm wide, and 10cm thick when inflated. It rolls up to 80cm wide x 20cm round. It doesn’t pack as down as small as an airbed but it is worth it in comfort.

To deflate simply open the deflate valve – it closes nice and snug so it’s near impossible to do it by accident. Simple.

How comfortable is it?

Everyone likes their own bed at home. I’m no exception to that rule. But the Black Wolf Mega Deluxe mattress is almost as good. For a camping mattress, it’s exceptional. When you are hundreds of kilometres from the nearest town, entirely dependent on your camping gear, it’s as good as it gets.

10cm thick means even a big bloke like myself stays off the ground and in comfort. The top cover is stretchy polyester and is great to sleep on even without a sheet or sleeping bag, in both hot and cold weather.

Get back to work, Kev!

Construction and quality

I’ve always been a bit dubious about mattresses that hold air. From previous experiences, they can be damaged easily which means you get to sleep on the dirt for the night.

However, there’s something different about the Black Wolf Mega Deluxe, and it’s obvious from the moment you open it up. You can clearly see they are built with quality and longevity in mind.

We’ve had both of our Mega Deluxe mats for more than 3 years now, and they’ve been used for well over 100 nights in the bush. We are careful with them, but at the same time, they have been well used.

A strip of velcro along one side allows you to attach it to another mat – turning two singles into a double. The Mega Deluxe Double is also available.

The air valves are strong (and have been improved on the new model), the carry bag is waterproof, and they have velcro along the edge so you can clip two together. The general construction is flawless.

From my experience with these mattresses (and in seeing my mate’s inferior mattresses leak regularly on recent camping trips), I’m more than confident that these will last a very long time.

Rolling it up

There’s a little trick that I use to roll the mattress up nice and tightly. Firstly, undo the valves. Then, starting at the bottom, roll it up as tight as possible. When it’s done, do the valves up, and unroll it, repeating the rolling process but this time with the valves still done up.

You’ll find it rolls much tighter the second time around, and when you get near the end you can release a valve and get rid of the remaining air.

Overall

I can’t believe I put up with average camping mattresses for so long. I remember coming back from 2 weeks camping in Coral Bay on a shoddy mattress and having to go to several chiropractor appointments in the weeks after. It’s so not worth it.

If a bad night’s sleep is putting you off going camping you need to invest in a decent camping mattress. Staying dry, warm, and comfortable are hugely important when camping. If camping is a big part of your life, the price of a Black Wolf Mega Deluxe Mattress is well worth it.

A quick tip that you might find useful is that if your self-inflating mat has been stored away for a time, a couple of days prior to setting off on your trip let it fully inflate before rolling it up again. This will make inflation quicker when you’re at the campsite.

Are you a member of or What mattress do you use?

The post Review – Black Wolf Mega Deluxe Self Inflating Mat appeared first on Snowys Blog.

#TeamAirbed #TeamSelfInflatingMat?

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doubleddenden · 6 years ago

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Okay I gotta nitpick

1000 pokemon including forms

I see people in the comments getting hyped up for 190 or so new pokemon but Masuda considers alternate forms like regional variants and megas to be separate pokemon, even though they aren't. With that regard gen 2 would have 126 pokemon since we're just counting Unown forms. Gen 4 would have 134 if we count every Arceus and other pokemon's alternative forms. As you can see, it's a bit bullshit.

Higher quality animations

Wingull just floats and doesn't flap its wings. Scorbunny's model barely hops off the ground to use Double Kick. Not to mention most of these "high quality animations" were already made in XY/ORAS and Sun/Moon and Ultra.

No decision on updates

Look ima be real chief, now ain't the time for secrecy and debates. Most of the fans are pissed, a lot of pre orders probably have been canceled, the fans are being very vocal about it to the point that they had a trending hashtag and are continuously voicing their displeasure. Just shut up with business buzz words and do it.

Active role in Home

Again, now ain't the time for secrets. Restore some faith and talk about these roles. I have thought about it and I'd be willing to concede to being able to battle, pet, and feed my pokemon in home since we also have trading already. It doesn't even need to be all that complicated, just a dumbed down version akin to Yugioh Duel Links, maybe 3v3 or something. At least make the subscription worth letting my favourites rot away in the cloud until the decision to bring it back is made in 5 years. Just scale down some pokemon models to save space and throw some beans. Done.this being said "if a region is too cold they'll stay home", okay sure so I can bring my Rhydon to the ocean or my Bulbasaur to the snowy laps but now they're getting cold feet?

No megas or z moves

Okay so this is absolute bullshit lol. What was even the point of introducing them if you just get rid of them? Megas are the coolest thing to happen to pokemon in idk how long, and signature Z moves are super cool too! Like you don't have to make new ones but ffs why remove them altogether in favor of gigantism fetish??? Why was this pursued when clearly it would prove to be such an obstacle?

Before people get mad about entitled fans that apparently aren't owed anything, understand that we are consumers to a product that isn't meeting our standards. This a product that costs a hefty chunk of money and requires an investment into a console that is maybe 5 or 6 times as much. A lot of us have a bit of stock in this particular franchise our entire lives over. They have us so whipped that we get excited for a fucking free camera ZONE. This tech has been around for close to 20 years. Do you see the point?

And I get it, pokemon games are fun and an escape for me too and I love them a lot and don't want them to end, but please think for a moment. Game Freak and especially Masuda are not being fair to their consumers with some of these choices they make, especially without our consent. They aren't even trying to be transparent, opting to use buzzwords or business lingo to get people intrigued.

Over 1,000 pokemon is not unreasonable on a fucking HD console, sorry to say, especially with system memory and additional memory on a micro SD card that can reach even 64 gigs. Even if it was, it's still not unreasonable to have some form of access to our favorites besides collecting dust or leaving them alone, especially with a subscription fee.

Game Freak is all about cutting corners and its seriously time they understand that it isn't fair to the people who got them to where they are today. They need a bit of pressure from their audience so they realize how they fucked up and can do better: it's called criticism, which can be bad but in this case can improve them if they just listen. Bethesda finally got called out for it after so long of dickriding fans defending their shitty buggy games, and while I can't say any pokemon game other than Let's Go are truly shit, it is time for companies to start listening to their fans they LITERALLY owe everything to so they can do better.

They aren't your casual uncles who give you candy or anything weird like that, and they aren't being nice and wholesome by giving you any of this. They're corporations out for your money. It is literally a business transaction: they make games, people buy them. You sign their paychecks that goes into building new Pokemon centers that sell the same thing Walmart or gamestop does but at higher prices. You sign their paychecks that sends them on company vacations to France and Hawaii. You sign their paychecks to work on a new IP that isn't even pokemon or close to being complete, yet has more priority to them over a game that needs more time but cannot be delayed due to circumstances with anime, events, tcg, and other merch.

So yeah, it's time to complain. All we want is what we've had for years now. That's it. Don't get butthurt because people aren't happy with it like you are. If you are happy, fine, enjoy, but let the rest of us voice our reasonable criticisms before we hit a point of no return.

Junichi Masuda and Shigeru Ohmori revealed several details in the latest Famitsu interview:

Masuda also said that including alternate forms, Pokémon hits 1,000 with these games.

Masuda on the Decision to Limit Pokémon Sword and Shield to the Galar Pokedex: He didn’t like the decision, but it was needed. He wanted to bring every single Pokémon to Sword and Shield but they wanted to focus on higher quality animations. Ohmori mentions this idea was proposed for Pokémon Sun and Moon.

According to Masuda, there is still no decision taken on bringing non-Galar Pokémon to Pokémon Sword & Shield via updates. All Pokémon will still have an active role in Pokémon Home.

According to Masuda, Pokémon Home would have some playable features. Will also have connections to future games.

More details of Pokémon Home: Is the “Home” for all your Pokémon. If a Pokémon is compatible with a game, it will leave for an adventure. If the Pokémon is not native to a certain region because is too cold for them, then they will stay in “Home” waiting for their next adventure.

EDIT:

It also stated that Mega Evolutions and Z-Moves will not appear in Sword & Shield.

Translation by Pokexperto | Serebii

#rant #bringbackthenationaldex

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ruffsficstuffplace · 8 years ago

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The Keeper of the Grove (Part 89)

Jacques Schnee stood inside the center of a sea of news articles, messages, and holos all floating around him, waiting to be pulled to his attention. He barely read, listened, or watched any of them, but the scowl on his face grew ever deeper with each one.

“The End of Times? Terrorist Group Heralds of the New World Order Seeding Chaos and Unease All Over Avalon in Wake of Terror Attack at Candela”

“Trust Ratings For Armed Forces Of Avalon At Record Lows; Panicked Civilians Ask, ‘Who Will Save Us Now?!’

“No Clear End In Sight For Candela’s State of Emergency”

“This just in, the Queensguard have formally declared ‘Absolutely no intention’ of investigating the disappearance of Agent Winter Schnee, 24 hours after the botched rescue operation into the Viridian Valley. Asked for comment, General Ironwood replied, ‘We sent the best we had, and it turns out our best just isn’t enough. All we really can do is figure out a way to protect what we still have.’

“Peacekeeping Bureau and Halls of Justice Collaborating in Investigation of Possible Collusion of Mega-Corporations, Country Governments, and City States with Terrorist Group ‘Heralds of the New World Order’”

“… Goldleaf Park is set to be reopened by ‘next year, at the least,’ while Maharlika Avenue is to be indefinitely closed off until further notice. ‘It’s like a wellspring blew up in there, all we really can do is wait for time to do its thing,’ says Containment Specialist Nickson after all clean-up operations were ceased for the danger to personnel, and cost of the equipment being redirected to much more pressing needs such as...”

“’He Treated Her Like A Prisoner’: New, Disturbing Details Arise From Manor Schnee Break-Ins And Kidnapping Of Weiss Schnee By Anonymous Former Staff Member.”

“No Better Matches Made In Hell: the Church of the Holy Shepherd and the Schnee Power Company Rocked by Defections of Key Figures to Terrorist Organization ‘The Council,’ Ostensibly made for Romance”

“The Foundations Are Crumbling: mass protests and chaos all over Heartland as centuries of scandal and corruption reach its Climax with the defection of the current Holy Shepherd, Pyrrha Nikos, and new, disturbing rumours and currently uncorroborated evidence of collusion with unknown entities stretching back from the time of Piorina Piper’ Nikos”

“Citizens of Solaris and the Halls of Justice ‘gravely concerned’ about increased activity in all four major criminal organizations The Black Cross, Jahilliyah, The Jade Empire, and The White Fang. ‘It’s like they’re gearing up for war,’ says Judge Kaine.”

“The Macabre Money Maker: In wake of the Plushie Palace discontinuing all ‘Keeper of the Grove’ plushies and variants, prices in the second-hand market skyrocket as collectors rush to acquire toys produced before the announcement.”

He was interrupted by an alert popping up in the corner of his vision, telling him he had a visitor.

With a gesture from his hand, the holograms all disappeared, and he was in the empty, spacious “entertainment center” of his bungalow, a room made almost entirely of top-of-the-line holo-projectors with the rest of the space allotted for seats, food, and other luxuries.

He stormed up to door and waved it open, his fiercest scowl, and the foulest, most cruel words he had in his vocabulary at the ready for whoever was unfortunate enough to be on the other side. He paused when there was no one.

Neo raised her hand and waved, a Fae teleportation charm hanging from her fingers.

Jacques snatched it from her, strangled it in his hands as a whirlwind of magic swirled around him.

In a flash, he found himself taken away from his bungalow, and into the center of some ancient, alien temple elsewhere in Avalon. He had long lost any sense of wonder or fear from the reliefs on the walls, the massive statues that stood in the sides like sentinels, the power radiating in the air knowing what beings called it their home.

“Catch a bit of a cold recently, Ms. Fall?” Jacques snarled.

Cinder scowled as hard as she could at him, her fangs bared, her ears pulled back, and her eyes flickering with fire.

The effect was completely ruined by her sitting on a chair and shivering violently, the enchanted blanket wrapped around her, the fever patch on her forehead, her feet soaking in a tub full of steaming hot cure water, and the disgusting amounts of snot dripping down her bright red nose, being very reluctantly wiped up a pair of masked goons armed with tissues, a wastebasket, and a bucket.

“Whiff all dew respect, Mishterr Sshnee: phuck you!” Cinder snapped, before she went into a coughing fit.

Jacques recoiled and took a few steps back. “So is this what you call ‘results,’ Ms. Fall? Not only did you fail catastrophically at your objectives, your enemy ‘the Council’ handily decimated your forces, and blindsided you with the addition of their newest members—among which is my own daughter.”

He threw his hand out. “Is this what you mean to say when you have a ‘foolproof’ plan, of which you’ve been preparing for ‘the longest time?’ Because it seems to me that you were vastly exaggerating the capabilities of your forces, what you could do with the incredibly generous funding I am now seriously regretting giving you, and indeed, your own competence as a leader, and your intelligence beside.”

Cinder growled, before her eyes widened, and she shoved her face into the bucket.

Jacques sighed heavily as awful, gross sounds of suffering filled the air.

“Uggh...” Cinder groaned as she turned back to him, and a mook wiped her mouth off. “Okay… I will admit, Plan B didn’t turn out so good...”

“To say the least...” Jacques spat.

Cinder ignored him. “… But in the grand scheme of things, everything couldn’t be going better!”

“Then please, Ms. Fall, enlighten me!: Just how is this not the death knell of your schemes, the Heralds’ own Hindenburg?”

Cinder grinned, a mook wiped up the trail of snot dripping down one nostril. She pulled a violently shaking hand from underneath her blanket. “Why don’t you sit down, and lemme tell you ALLLL about it?!”

Click.

In a flash of magical fire, Jacques found himself pulled onto a throne made of molten magma. He screamed and writhed as the heat seared through his clothes and onto his skin, tendrils of fire weaved around his ankles, his wrists, and his mouth, before everything quickly hardened into solid, black rock.

Where most people would cower and fear for their lives, Jacques only glared at Cinder as he futilely struggled against his bonds, felt his skin burning and scarring from the heat.

“D’you humans ever wonder, how exackly Nhicholash Shhnee and his ragtag bunch of assholes ever found a place like Candela?

“IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!”

Cinder went into another violent hacking and coughing fit. After she pulled her head out of the bucket, her mouth was wiped clean, and she had caught her breath somewhat, she continued.

“That phucking expedishun of his was doomed from the start—you humans had jhack shit, Nhick was BARELY keeping his team together through sheer force of will, and even the phucking Council was about to step in again like they did ‘your’ Neo-Renaissance, if only so they could keep your spesheesh around as breeding stock for their Keepurs.

“But me? I thaw an opportunity—an opportunity to make this world a better place, what it always should’ve been!

“So I planted a mole in his ranks, one named Freyahh Bolkoth. I trusted her with all the schematics and magitech my people died trying to sneak out of the Eldan and Celestion Fae’s hands, trusted her to do her damndest keep this band of desperate idiots from dying out there in the Country with her magic or her knowledge, trusted her to worm her way into their good graces, so they would listen to ‘her gut feeling’ of a possible wellspring for a city:

“Candela’s.

“You see, while it was a big phucking surprise for you humans, the Eldan Fae knew all about it! They just wouldn’t use it, though they had enough trouble with the Viridian Valley and how you humans just can’t seem to stay away from it!

“But me? I could have really used that, and it was almost mine, if I didn’t run into three unexpected problems:

“One: that asshole Nhick just refused to die, no matter how many times he should have from all his plans that shouldn’t have worked as well as they did, and not even when I set Freyahh to sabotaging all his attempts at making potable water, poison him to death and make it look like it was his own fault!

“Two: Freyahh bonded with those assholes, grew fond of them and their stupid little hopes and dreams!

“And three: Nhick had to fall in love with her, and she fell for him back, enough to tell him her big secret!

“So what did Nhick do, when he found out his darling ‘Frosty’ was a spy, that she’d been sent in to kill and replace him, that she’d been lying to him about everything?!” Cinder paused to cough and blow her nose. “When she forsook all we’d ever done for her, the sacrifices we made, all we could have accomplished if she just followed the phucking plan, all for this band of assholes that should have died three days after they set off from the Nexus?!

“He helped her run for help, all the way to the Viridian valley, where they struck a deal with the Eldan Council:

“You humans get Candela, and all the magitech and schematics you could ever want from them to end the Resource Wars, ensure you’d never have a crisis like this ever again! But in return, they had to guard it from me, from anyone the Council says ‘would abuse that power,’ and unfortunately for all of us, Nick was all too happy to play along with their plans, so long as it meant he could keep his love the traitor and raise their phucking miracle baby Snowie.

“Every piece of news I hear from that phucking city, every holo I see of your ‘Shining Beacon of Hope,’ I’m reminded of everything that should should have been mine, what you humans and the Council stole from me!”

Cinder chuckled as she stood up from her chair and stepped out of the tub, one shaking, dripping foot at a time. Her goons followed her, holding the bucket at the ready and wiping away as much snot as they could.

“I suppose I should be thanking you, Jacques…” she said as she came closer. “In hindsight, if Plan A worked perfectly, the Council would have swoop down and wiped us all out before we even got anything close to what you humans have buillt.

“But now? Now there’s a whole city state, loaded with all the resources, the magitech, and the infrastructure that I could ever want or need for my plans, and it’s only a matter of time before I take it all, all because of you!”

She placed her shaking hands on Jacques’ wrists, leaned in and put her red-nosed, snot-dripping, wild-eyed face right up to his. “Because unlike that asshole Nhick, you don’t have this thing called ‘Morals.’”

Magic began to surge from Cinder’s body into Jacques, bright orange like a raging fire. He began to let out muffled screams, writhing in agony as he felt it coursing through his veins, setting fire to his whole being, burning ever brighter and hotter until his whole body was engulfed in flames.

Cinder smiled as she saw the fire in Jacques’ eyes go out as his body turned to magical embers, floating in the air for a moment before they rushed into her body. She shivered in delight as she felt his life essence become hers, all the new knowledge rushing into her mind:

Secret, untraceable accounts and warehouses loaded with Urochs, precious metals and resources, and cutting-edge magitech. Backdoor deals, blackmail on his numerous associates and clients, executive passwords and clearances to the Schnee Power Company’s most carefully guarded patents and information. All his little personality quirks, traits, and mannerisms that her golem makers could use to make a dummy that could fool anyone, have Avalon think Jacques had finally learned his lesson and retired.

She chuckled as one of her mooks wiped away the dribbles of snot from her nose. “You Sshnees… you Shnsees have ruined my plans twice already, but I’m not going to let you ruin them a third time!”

She threw her head back and laughed, raising her arms in the air as the sound echoed all throughout the chamber… then, she went into another hacking, coughing fit, and stumbled backwards onto her ass. Her mooks quickly rushed to her aid, Cinder wrenched the bucket from their hands and proceeded to shove her face in it.

“Guhh-huh-huh-huhhh...” she whimpered pathetically. “Nhick…? Freyahh? Wherever the phuck you two are in the Aefher, know that I hate you two and your spawn so much…!”

Note: Freya’s maiden name is Volkov, Cinder was just mispronouncing it.

#white rose #rwby #fanfic #the keeper of the grove

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hennyjolzen · 7 years ago

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How did it all get here? And who are we? How did we get here too? What is going on? Why a universe at all? Why stuff? Why stations of consciousness? Why a pebble, an igloo, a croquet ball? Why anything? Why space? Why shape? Why gravity? Why ground? Why heat? Why worlds? Why time? Why matter? Why? Why? Why?How did all this trash and treasure get dropped on everyone's doorstep? How does anything emanate from anything else? How and why did it become this?

And, while I'm at it — why not something else? Something else entirely? Anything else entirely? Why not nothing? Why not nothing forever? Why creatures? Why private views? Why ego identities? Why now? Why should anything wake into radiance? Anteaters, shrews, snakes, wasps, and all the rest — to what purpose?

Everything in this world has a context, in fact many contexts. We deal only in contexts. There are big contexts: hunger, pleasure, survival, sex, shelter, profit, America, Christ died for my sins, romantic love. These drive not only behavior but meaning. Then there are small contexts: putting together a chair from parts, following a soap on TV, playing a chess match, supporting a candidate, an uncle's birthday bash, yoga class, stylish clothing, downtown, the sales and marketing team, the gun collection, plans for a holiday, being a hottie, tickets to a play, losing weight, the World Series, O. J. Simpson, Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian. Money is context, war is context, bribery is context, police are context, the Bloods and Crips are context, jihad is context, mathematics is context, public transportation is context, trying to find a soulmate is context. There are mega-contexts too: mortality, the dead, the universe.

But there is no context for the whole, for the entirety, the state of existence (at least in contemporary American culture). There is no context for us. The closest to a context is God, or matter and energy, or DNA, but that is all outsider buzz. "Being" comes down to what "being" feels like.

Since the human species manifested in the Stone Age, each of its members has been confronted with the same astonishing blaze. Reality in its naked presentation, shining and bristling from within and across proximal space while penetrating absolute space, is flat-out shocking and profound. Realer than a motherfucker! It is more profound than all the profundities conjured by science and philosophy. Along its most deepening seam it is subtler than anything in it. Cars traveling down the street on some planet, probably but not necessarily this one, not even cars, are not profound when viewed by everyday mind; however, in the vast unacknowledged scheme the fact that they exist at all and are piloted in orderly fashion is profound and weird beyond conception.

Scientists now explain the existence of nature (and mind) by equations of heat, entropy, surface tension, binary coding, and differential survival. They scan substance to where its gauze is most distended (the sky), most discrete (the subatomic nucleus), and most quantifiable (the algorithm), as they try to excavate condition and origin. Fat chance!

Philosophers buy this prognosis hook, line, and then some; they extract "being," meaning, and values from it.

Psychologists overlay ego, psyche, personality, and behavior-thermo- dynamic and chemical vectors traveling inside membranes. They replace the philosophical mind with the biological mind and neurotransmission.

Shamans, priests, and clerics set nature under sacred sovereignty. Psychics tune to energies and planes not measurable or acknowledged by science. None of these gets to the bottom of the weirddom.

Among depictions and rationalizations of reality, twenty-first-century upper-tier denizens are most familiar with the West's sanctioned brand: the survival-of-the-fittest, you-only-go-around-once market economy. Their lives occur on its mean streets amid its hemorrhaging urbanization, in progressively more acute cycles of crisis and cataclysm, clinical anxiety and depression, plus urgency in the context of ever dwindling time and possibility, incessant craving for more, endlessly more: more life, more goods, more thrills, more validation, more anything.

In towers and operating rooms of the corporations and academies, professional scientists continue to address reality as a riddle in forensics, a cold trail left in the galactic sky and in the cyclotron of matter, evidence quasi to a crime. Dismissing its phenomenal aspects, they stalk it to the Big Bang and subsequent fusion, fission, and differentiation in stellar cauldrons ignited by the blowout. Comparing indices and refining their assays, they dowse and test the "splatter" in hopes of exposing the weapon used, the nature of an unwarranted slash on the void.

But there is no such smoking gun. The stuff that broke through from beyond time and space is out of play, forever. This is a spill zone not a construction site — everything in it has been used before and as something else. Or not: same difference.

The universe is simply too deep, too old, too frayed, too insouciant to be explained. That is why grand unified theories of All That Is are, to a one, pretexts and vanities. Inquiry is limited to what came after the Big Bang, which is all that we can get at. Just about every item, every primo seed is missing from dossier and file.

Science supposes that creation was merely statutory — no design behind it, no rationale or impulse, no hint of an absentee landlord, only the absence of sufficient obstacles to prevent or impede its splay.

Imagine a malefaction without a motive, that begins with its commission — absolutely — no assets or adjuncts of any kind.

Materiality is the present idol of our manifestation; it guards Entry and Egress; it decrees: "Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me." And we don't.

Creek and Ainu philosophers, Australian Aboriginal elders, Tibetan shamans, and the Aegean cosmologists understood (and still understand) the engine better than do most citizens of modernity — and that includes sophisticated particle physicists. They understood it in the moment and bowed to its omneity: a light arising from darkness, a wind from stillness.

Once upon a time, the universe was sacred and unfathomable by simple emanation. Humans accepted the operations of nature as the mirror and counterpart to their own existence, surrendering to its primacy and innate dignity. They ceded a vast and absolute design and conducted a ceremony whose goal was adoration not interrogation. Before quarks and Big Bangs, they called it Spider Woman and Corn Mother and zoned its tiers by Chameleons, Swimming Turtles, Bouncing-Stick-Player-Toads, and Hyenas' Eggs. These are neither contrivances nor mere fables; they are not raw primitivisms either. They are hard-won intuitions of something before form:

"Verily at the first Chaos came to be, but next wide-bosomed Earth, a disk surrounded by the river Oceanus and floating upon a waste of waters, the ever-sure foundation of all the deathless ones who hold the peaks of snowy Olympus and dim Tartarus in the depth of the wide-pathed Earth, and Eros, fairest among the deathless gods, who unnerves the limbs and overcomes the mind…."

Eros before matter, always. Listen carefully and you will hear the rustle and trickle of an actual universe, an inviolable presence, not a working factory.

"The Ground Squirrel said, I think day and night ought to be divided like the rings on the Coon's tail.'"

Contrast and discrimination-on fur as among the rings of Saturn.

"A very long time ago there was nothing but water. In the east Hurúing Wuhti, the deity of all hard substances, lived in the ocean. Her house was a kiva…. To the ladder leading into the kiva were usually tied a skin of a gray fox and one of a yellow fox. Another Hurúing Wuhti lived in the ocean in the west in a similar kiva, but to her ladder was attached a turtle- shell rattle."

How was this possible before there were either foxes or turtles? It is because these stories encapsulate construction of a universe of events inside a prior universe of meanings.

"The Sun also existed at that time. Shortly before rising in the east the Sun would dress up in the skin of the gray fox, whereupon it would begin to dawn…."

This is it! It might slip by as a pretty-boy metonymy if you overlooked its ontological cred: Everything arose from nothing. Concretely and explicitly. This is what it looks like if you peer inside this very minute: gray foxes and self-emanating light.

Viewing electrons, atoms, and chromosomes in the scientific manner as they shape-shift and deliver payloads doesn't alter or encroach upon their identity. For being exposed like a burlesque dancer, a mitochondrion is no less or more immaculate a riddle than it was inside Stone Age hunters. Western reality has no prerogative or supremacy over other brands. It may be the present operating system for modernity on Earth, but its roots are no more rooted, its arising no more fundamental or absolute. No one species's or planet's deposition has primogeniture or is endorsed by the universe. The same claims are made implicitly by the spider and the mouse.

Through the entitlement of its birth, each entity places its lien on existence. Albert Einstein and a 1930s sea squirt each expressed a sincere and desperate truth, equally confronted the fact of their being and rendered a coherent paradigm of it. They fed the universe's eyes, ears, and brain.

There is Bushman reality, Navaho reality, Aranda reality, Cherokee reality, Xhosa reality. Within each of these sprout countless personal realities. And these barely scratch the surface. Cat reality, snake reality, whale reality, wolf reality, worm reality, bacterial reality all are "real" too.

The osprey with its wingspan and talons, the owl with its judicious eyes and motion-detecting granules, geese with their star- and sun-maps, were knighted long ago by vanished gods. Currents of air, below and above feathers, fins resisting waves through rippling flow-these are sciences too. "Even the trodden worm…," declared philosopher William James, "contrasts his own suffering self with the whole remaining universe, though he have no clear conception either of himself or of what the universe may be." Amen, and God have mercy on us all.

Science as we know it is not science anyway, not by standards of worlds or biting Rigel, Antares, and the Dog Star or, if not there, then somewhere. The Big Science of the Milky Way provides an impartial jury for claims of truth by experimenting parties on separate worlds. The Meta-Science of the Universe alone knows everything (or anything) about any thing. Earth Science, endowed by private and corporate interests, offers only space-time audits from the perspective of deputies on one planet in one small capillary.

Alligator crocodile reality, dragonfly damselfly reality, realities on the billions of inhabited planets in the Large and Small Magellanic Clouds — there are more stars and skies, more heavens and earths than are dreamt of in our philosophies and operas.

Each entity gets born, lives, and dies on the universe's terms, and the universe is one serious mutha. We don't get to choose our own operating system or paradigm indefinitely. The universe owns all paradigms and systems — and it is running a far bigger game than science.

So get off your high horse! Physics is not king of the universe. Earth is not the only game in town. Three dimensions are not the sole platform. Stranger realities arise continually on worlds in other solar systems, close to here and unimaginably far. We know their presences intuitively and unconsciously because, like hydrogen, consciousness is singular — we know them as something else. We know them at all.

Reality is the state in which we participate with everything else in the universe, a living fire that keeps emerging. And again at this next moment, and so on … in every creature in every crack and cranny, every tidepool and volcanic vent.

Yet scientific laws operate with impunity, as if official, as if someone other than us made them up and enforces them, as if they were cast in something more than the breccia of metaphor.

In its act of establishing a jural reality, science has detoured from honest inquiry into institutionalized ideology, using a bogus authority to enforce its sponsors' products. Our bodily existence and minds are now arbitraged in a futures market. Queued into motor pools, creatures are encouraged to trade in existence for algorithms, to refute their own beingness.

What used to be pure scientia — neutral knowledge — is a combo dictator, morality squad, and hanging judge. When doctors confer cures, they must do so under a regime of terror, unacknowledged and reduced to muzak, falsified documents, and profit-and-loss statements. The Fates still decide how, when, and why each creature is born and dies. Clotho spins the thread onto her spindle. Lachesis measures it by her rod. Atropos cuts it with her shears, Charon receives it with a coin in its mouth. By usurping this province, by making DNA the oracle, a Taliban-like authority commands and deludes us (and itself) into thinking it is rolling the dice and cutting the cloth. Meanwhile it recruits us for its jihad: consumers all.

Body-mind is not even the sole frequency of intelligence. Beyond the charm of a matter-on-matter universe, other entities coalesce in untold dimensions of hyperspace. However divergent from our embodiment and shibboleths here, they are sordidly and viscerally real wherever they are because they are rooted in primordial awareness of their own existences and the common substratum from which they are arising. From their perspective today's local blue sky is the ultimate surreal backdrop.

For that matter the Earth is a planet that even we should never have seen, one that we were-yes-forbidden to see.

So I come back to my original question: Why us? Why here? Why now?

Why this gaudy manifestation, each granule, bump, and surly or succulent intent of it? How could you ever take it — your own existence, the warrant of "life"-for granted?

Just look around you at what has formed and stuffed itself into every gap. Witness pure existence arising, creating space and direction, lighting its own canopy, pouring through its own portal, filling the void with objects, shading its own light!

Empty yourself of preconceptions. I don't know what I am. I don't know what this is.' Like the gentleman songsters of the Whiffenpoof, "We are poor little lambs who have lost their way./Baaa, baaa, baaa!"

Let this confession fill your mind, roll across your skin, dilate into your chest and sockets, sink down below your shoulder blades, open your diaphragm, reverberate in your belly and lungs, drop into your genitalia. Answer the unanswerable question by an affirmation at your core.

Sense how deep and thick and omnipresent and sensational the universe is. Feel its silent stream of semblance. Hear its gurgle at a frequency so immediate, scrupulous, explicit, and snug that it is nonexistent. Watch its liquidity flowing from and to everywhere-the ground of yourself filling with a fulgent gleam. How is this possible? How is such an impeccable state of being and knowing allowed?

The moment you let go of your habit addiction, you explode in all directions. An intimidating audit, but not half-bad. At least it is happening at all.

Staring at surf, I am struck by the interplay of gravity, mass, and cohesion under lunar pressure, as rocks carve waves into glyphs.

We are sustained by foam as wide and precisioned as gravity, written by styluses as fine and hieroglyphic as air. What is spelled in our own minds is what was once written dumbly in the sea, in the calls of seabirds, welling up through ganglionic stations into sequestrations of self.

Mind is in constant dialogue with the intelligence of its own formation.

An imperative had to begin somewhere. Each motif indicates a source; otherwise there would be nothing at all.

What Sigmund Freud posited vis à vis dreams — that every entry and instance has an energetic prerequisite necessitating and providing it-is true as well of the waking dream, the simmering fog. Each item exists because it must. And there is no bottom or break to the ring of proxies engendering and sustaining it.

Where else would or could it come from?

Beavers gnaw down trees many times their size, pile up mud, dam rivers, store vegetation in cold houses under snow, patch holes in their dams. The semi-aquatic rodents permit muskrats to co-occupy their underwater huts and eat from their larder-why? From where does the symbol come to render and allow the gift?

Muskrats pay a "rent" of grasses and vines as they swim into and out of the communal refrigerator. Under what compact do the beavers monitor this transit?

What future and eternal meaning is synopsized in the screech, the caw, the yowl? Barking seals, baying hyenas, chittering moles, shrieking gulls — these metabolic packets don't merely provide meanings prior to language. They are meaning. Wild turkeys crossing a field at sunrise are screeching raw existence, intentionality, wonderment, and individuality back to the universe.

North American squirrels, though color-blind, discern a dissimilarity between acorns from red and white oaks, consuming the white ones which, by sprouting before spring, quickly lose their food value, while burying the slower-sprouting red ones for sustenance during late winter.

How does such information, at its every level of designation, get through the cables into molecular space?

In years when there is a shortage of red acorns, those same squirrels munch just enough sludge out of the white acorns to disable their sprouting capacity, and then they bury them.

Australian lyrebirds imitate car alarms, doors opening and closing, men with chainsaws cutting trees. Urban crows drop nuts into traffic in order get them cracked; they select streets with red lights because movement periodically stops there, allowing them to fly down and retrieve the meats unscathed.

Various species of birds pick up twigs in their beaks, then poke with them at grubs in tree trunks, agitating them to move in their dream of succor, to come out and be consumed. Standing in shallow water, other birds make their wings into shade to trick fish to come to the surface.

The symbol is always and ever being born.

#space

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theglobetrottergp-blog · 7 years ago

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The first thing I did when I booked a VERY last minute ski holiday to Borovets under the influence of FAR too much vino, was to google ‘ Beginner skiing in Bulgaria – is it easy?! ‘ ‘Like, REALLY easy? Like, ANYONE can do it easy?!’ Needless to say, I was feeling the fear! Being possibly the clumsiest person on the planet, I felt my fear was probably justified! I mean my first injury at Borovets was just walking into the corner of the bed! This somehow resulted in an 8-inch haematoma which looked more like I’d collided with a tree at high speed..!

A few panic attacks later (yes real ones) and a lot of falling over, they finally made a skier out of me. Well, sort of… (Hurtling down the slope in a Bridget Jones manner counts as being a “skier” right?!) So I decided to write this Borovets ski resort review from the perspective of a beginner skier. I shall tell you how to get there, where to stay, what to eat and drink as well as where to get skis and what ski school is like in Bulgaria. And guess what?! It turns out beginner skiing in Bulgaria is pretty fun…

[bctt tweet=”Hurtling down the slope in a Bridget Jones manner counts as being a “skier” right?!” username=”@globetrottergp”]

**This post may contain affiliate links. This means if you click on any of the links and make a purchase I may make a small commission at no cost to yourself. I only promote products and services I really love and the commission earned goes towards the upkeep of this website!**

So read on for my Borovets ski resort review to find out why you should consider beginner skiing in Bulgaria!

So why choose Borovets ski resort, Bulgaria for your holiday?

The main reason people flock to Bulgaria for ski holidays is the affordable prices. Yes, it would be lovely to ski in the picture perfect French Alps and yes I’ve heard the Austrian apres ski is second to none. But those resorts come with a hefty price tag that is difficult to justify except for the most avid of skiers. If you are a beginner skier, you will no doubt want to keep the costs down until you know that you love skiing!

Borovets has a few other attractions too. Firstly it’s only a 90-minute transfer from Sofia! This means less time in the car and more on the slopes!

In the two most popular Bulgarian ski resorts Bansko and Borovets, there are plenty of green beginner slopes for you to learn on.

Bulgaria is full of geothermal hot springs! I can think of no better way to tend to sore achy muscles post skiing than sitting in a natural hot spring overlooking the snow-capped mountains!

What is Borovets ski resort like?

Set in a cute alpine village surrounded by plenty of snowy mountains, Borovets is certainly picturesque. I loved the little triangular wooden huts seen all over town. Everything is close and easy to walk to – even in uncomfortable ski boots! There are horse and carts shuttling skiers back and forth to their hotels. (Though I’d be reluctant to use this service as these horses didn’t appear particularly well cared for.)

There is certainly no shortage of bars pubs and restaurants so the apres ski is lively especially late afternoon when the slopes close for a few hours. You can happily stay out until 4 am or so if you want to!

When to go to Bulgaria skiing?

Borovets isn’t the highest ski resort in Europe with a maximum altitude of 2560M. Therefore, it may be risky going at the very start or end of the season. That said we went the first week of March and there was plenty of snow. A few slopes were getting a bit patchy but there were more than enough snowy slopes to keep us all occupied including the more advanced skiers in my group! I’d say anytime between December and February should guarantee you a reasonable amount of snow.

How to get to Borovets?

We flew from London Stanstead to Sofia. Sofia is just 1-1.5 hours drive from Borovets and transfers are pretty cheap from about 10 euro each person each way if organised in advance. Some hotels will arrange transfers for you so it’s worth checking this at the time of your booking.

Prosecco time at the airport!

How much does a skiing holiday in Bulgaria cost?

This really depends on how and when you book it! You will comfortably be able to afford an apartment or chalet for 4 people for around €500. However, there are better bargains to be found. Some friends we met out there had found flights AND accommodation for a week with half board for €250!

[bctt tweet=”Some friends we met out there had found flights AND accommodation for a week with half board for €250!” username=”@globetrottergp”]

Food and drink can be expensive on the slopes. Expect to pay up to 30 lev (€15) for a hot meal and a beer. However, this is substantially cheaper than in the Alps where you could easily spend double! Back in the village, prices are a lot cheaper. Mulled wine will set you back about 3-6 lev, a meal 15-20 lev. Beers and cocktails are often sold as 2-4-1 deals so can work out very cheap. Good for the bank balance. Not so good for the mega hangovers!

You will usually save at least 25-30% of the cost of ski passes and equipment hire in Bulgaria compared to more expensive resorts in France and Austria. Ski school is also extremely cheap!

[bctt tweet=”You will usually save at least 25-30% of the cost of ski passes and equipment hire in Bulgaria compared to more expensive resorts in France and Austria. ” username=”@globetrottergp”]

Accommodation Options in Borovets

– Chamkoria Chalets

We stayed at the Chamkoria Chalets. Booking so last minute and after a heavy snowfall, we didn’t have many options available to us! However, Chamkoria chalets were great. Our apartment was spotless, well equipped and had a lovely open fire which was extremely cosy! We also had use of a pool, sauna and jacuzzi in the building which was much appreciated after a cold day on the slopes with achy muscles!

The main downside to Chamkoria Chalets was the location. Approximately 3 miles from Borovets, we had to rely on shuttle buses and taxis. Shuttle buses had to be prior arranged and stopped at 7 pm so we often had to pay for taxis. Due to the narrow icy road to get there from town, many taxis were reluctant to do the trip and the ones that did charge a premium. It cost us 30 lev for each journey. The remote location, however, was very picturesque and peaceful.

– The Lion Hotel

Our friends we met on the slopes were staying at The Lion Hotel just half a mile from Borovets centre. They were pretty happy with their hotel. The only criticism is that they weren’t able to provide much information on local tours and activities. However, they got a bargain price and taxis were only 10 lev. Plus there was a shuttle bus that ran frequently and didn’t need to be pre-booked.

– Hotel Rila

Hotel Rila is definitely the luxury option. This grand hotel is literally right on the main slopes and the outdoor terrace overlooking all the action looked like an amazing place to hang out. I only saw the lobby when I went in to inquire about local activities but it felt extremely grand and the spa which you can see from the slopes just looked amazing! I thought it would be really expensive to stay here but a quick check on booking.com and it’s only €90 per night between 2 people! A bargain really…!

Check out deals in Borovets now and be inspired! Booking.com

What should I wear in Borovets?

Given that the altitude isn’t too high in Borovets, you may feel warm on the slopes if you wear too many layers! I’d recommend for most days you will need a thermal base layer and leggings under a ski jacket and salopettes. You may need an additional layer or two on colder days! Also invest in goggles, sunglasses, a buff or face warmer and some good waterproof gloves. In the evening, the dress code is casual. Jeans or leggings with a jumper and snow boots would be perfect! I talk more about what to wear and what to pack in my Packing for beginner skiers post!

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What is the nightlife like in Borovets?

Whether you are looking for a smart bar, a casual pub, a family-owned restaurant or a no-frills karaoke bar, Borovets has you covered! My favourite restaurant was Mamacita’s Mexican and my favourite apres ski bar was BJ’s for friendly service and great atmosphere. (Borovets has a habit of naming all of its bars crude names..!) I will be writing an article about Borovets nightlife so keep your eyes peeled!

Where do I hire equipment and get lift passes at Borovets?

We used Traventuria one of the main ski hire places in Borovets. After researching prices for ski hire in the French Alps, I was pleasantly surprised by the reasonable rates for hire, lifts passes and ski school.

We were late for our fitting / first ski school due to a blockage on the only road to our hotel – a minibus had got stranded in the snow sideways! But this didn’t seem to matter and we were handed all of our equipment when we arrived with minimal hassle. The equipment was decent quality, the centre close to the gondola and there were lockers available at additional cost of €5/day. This came in very useful for days where we went straight out from the slopes!

The organisation on occasion was a little poor. Our first instructor seemed to think he was teaching advanced skiers until we informed him otherwise – already halfway to the slopes! The following day, somehow my name wasn’t on the list for lessons and lessons had begun 45 minutes ago anyway as we’d been told the wrong time! But they did ring around and manage to slot me into another lesson albeit with slightly more experienced skiers.

A 6-day ski pass with equipment hire and 3 days of ski school (from 9 am to 2 pm) will set you back a very reasonable €252. A 4 days ski pass with equipment hire only costs €164. Compare this to Tignes in France where a ski pass alone (with no equipment hire or lessons) will cost €285 for 6 days or €198 for 4 days!

Aside from your skis, boots and poles, you will need some additional equipment but not as much as you would think! Check out my skiing for beginners packing list here!

What is Ski school like in Borovets?

I had 3 days of lessons. Each involved a 2-hour session in the morning, lunch on the slopes (not included) then a 2-hour session in the afternoon. My groups were always between 3-4 people but I have been told at busy times can be up to around 15 people. As a nervous skier, I was glad for the closer supervision!

I had 3 different teachers. The last 2 were fabulous and really helped with my confidence. Though I was disappointed with my first ski instructor who acted like he didn’t really want to be there and didn’t teach us much. So whilst it can be hit and miss depending on which instructor you get allocated, in general, the standard of teaching was very good. Keep your eyes peeled for my article on beginners skiing coming out soon. You will hear about my Bridget Jones moment on the slopes…!

What are the slopes like for beginners at Borovets?

In Borovets, there are plenty of beginner slopes. There are 2 main nursery slopes and another longer cross country green slopes then plenty of blue slopes to practise on. Though I’d suggest not attempting the cross country slope until you gain a little confidence as it crosses a red run and you really don’t want to end up on that by accident!

There is also plenty to do for more advanced skiers. There are plenty of challenging reds plus a few black runs.

Top Tips:

1/ Always check the ski run is open when you get on the ski lift! Friends of mine who were complete beginners had to ski down a blue run when the green was closed. It sounded like a stressful experience!

2/ Always check what time the last gondola back down leaves at. My friend and I narrowly missed the last gondola on our first day when I still couldn’t even stand on skis without falling over. Skiing down a red run to get back would not have been fun!

What else is there to do in Borovets when I’m not skiing?

Be assured, there is plenty to do for non-skiers. You can visit natural hot springs, take ski-doo ski mobile safaris, horse treks and take time to chill out in a spa. There is also the apres ski where I spent most of my time..!

One final thing to remember!

Do NOT forget to arrange travel insurance! Especially as skiing carries a little more risk than a stroll in the park! As well as covering holiday cancellations, theft etc, make sure there is good health cover including emergency evacuation if needed. It’s also important to double check your insurance policy covers you for extreme sports – skiing! Check out Nomads travel insurance below – a company I reckon you can rely on! (psssst their travel health clinics are super helpful if you are planning a trip somewhere exotic and need advice on malaria, immunisations or altitude sickness!)

I hope you have found this Borovets Ski resort review useful and that I have persuaded you that beginner skiing in Bulgaria can be brilliant – even for the non-talented skiers like me! Bulgaria is a great option for beginner skiing if you are looking for somewhere affordable and not intimidating for beginners. There is a fab apres ski and plenty to do in the local area and I would definitely recommend Borovets as a great place for beginner skiing in Bulgaria and a great alternative to the pricier ski resorts in the French and Austrian Alps.

[bctt tweet=”Bulgaria is a great option for beginner skiing if you are looking for somewhere affordable and not intimidating for beginners” username=”@globetrottergp”]

Have you been to Borovets or are you considering a ski holiday in Bulgaria? If so, I’d love to hear about it! Please comment below! And if you’ve found this article useful, please share it with your friends and family using the share buttons below! Thanks a million!

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Beginner Skiing in Bulgaria – A Borovets Ski Resort Review The first thing I did when I booked a VERY last minute ski holiday to Borovets under the influence of FAR too much vino, was to google ' Beginner skiing in Bulgaria - is it easy?!

#beginners skiing in bulgaria #Borovets #Borovets ski resort review #skiing #skiing for beginners #winter

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shannrussell-blog1 · 6 years ago

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There’s no shortage of stoves on the market, so when you’re setting up your camp kitchen choosing a stove that’s going to cook, boil, fry, simmer and toast your camp meals can be a little overwhelming.

So, rather than try and tell you what’s best, we’ve looked at what our customers purchased and recommended in 2017, so your choice of a camp stove in 2018 can be well informed.

So, starting at here’s a list of our best-selling camp stoves.

. Coleman Guide Series Powerhouse Multi-Fuel Stove

This rugged, high output behemoth of a stove has been around for a long time. It’s still a popular choice, particularly amongst campers heading to remote locations where LPG refills are as common as penguins in the outback.

The Powerhouse Stove is field maintainable and runs on liquid fuels such as unleaded and shellite so there’s no need to worry about carrying a gas cylinder. It will operate on diesel but this isn’t recommended by Coleman, it can cause efficiency issues with the stove so we’d suggest only going down this path if all your other options have run out. It has two burners (8000 & 9000 BTU) and is made tough with a robust powder-coated steel exterior.

If LPG isn’t super accessible, then this is the camping stove for you. Image: Coleman

9. Zempire 2 Burner Deluxe Stove

This camping stove comes with some impressive specs and is a great value choice. It’s made of powder-coated steel and features a stainless steel drip tray for easy cleaning.

What’s most impressive is the two burners, each boasting a 12000 BTU output with good simmer control. Each burner has piezo ignition and it all folds away into an easy to carry, easy to store package. If you’re looking for a classic stove for general camp cooking, the 2 Burner Deluxe from Zempire will fit the bill.

The Zempire 2 Burner Deluxe Stove is affordable and reliable. Image: Zempire

8. Primus High Output Regulated 2 Burner Camp Stove

This guy’s a little bit bigger than your average camping stove – an awesome choice if you need to cook for the masses. The wider format means you can fit bigger pots and longer griddles on the top. It’s also armed with two ,000 BTU burners both with good simmer control.

This Primus stove has been around for some time and is a tried and tested choice. The gas supply is regulated to keep it from flaring up and to maintain heat during cold weather, plus, it comes complete with piezo ignition.

If you’ve got a family or a bunch of mates to cook for, the size of this stove is perfect for you. Image: Primus

7. Gasmate Butane Cartridge Lunchbox Stove

These are super portable and ideally suited for travelling individuals and couples who keep their cooking simple or make regular roadside stops. It runs from disposable butane canisters and is quite efficient in warm climates. Those travelling in cold climates may find the output a little limiting though.

Commonly known as a lunchbox style stove, this Travelmate cooker packs away into a compact plastic case – gas bottle and all. This makes it great for travellers with limited vehicle space. The set-up is quick, just open, flip, lock and light (it even has an integrated piezo), and you’ll be cooking away in no time.

If you’re travelling with little room to spare, this Gasmate stove will be right up your alley. Image: Gasmate

6. Gasmate 2 Burner Stove

This one comes at a budget price, and for that price, you get durability and reliability but none of the frills. It features two burners both with a 000 BTU output, but there’s no piezo ignition so you’ll need to remember the matches.

In order to keep the price down, Gasmate has also omitted the drip tray which will make it a little harder to clean. And, whilst it still packs down to a portable and packable size, there’s no carry handle. However, if these things are not of high importance, this stove will reliably cook your camp meals for years to come.

The Gasmate 2 Burner Stove is a no-frills choice for budget campers. Image: Gasmate

5. Companion Mega Jet Outdoor Power Cooker

This is more of a specific use stove. It’s not so suitable for cooking your eggs and sausages unless you like them (very) well done. This has a single high-output burner for boiling large amounts of water. It’s popular for cooking up crayfish, crabs or yabbies on fishing holidays.

The Mega Jet has some alternative uses to just boiling water though. Home-brew enthusiasts use it to boil the wort and hops before fermentation, whilst fishing enthusiasts have used it for melting lead to make their own sinkers.

Simmer up your catch of the day in the Mega Jet Outdoor Power Cooker. Image: Companion

4. Primus High Output 2 Burner Stove

Another tried and tested cooker from Primus, featuring a robust windproof design with two 25000 BTU burners – this is their highest output stove. It’s a large format stove with big burners that will cater for the wider heat distribution required for large pots.

We’ve always recommended this for users who need high heat for boiling water or heating up a BBQ plate. However, we’ve had mixed reviews over its ability to simmer. For this reason, we probably wouldn’t recommend it for cooking at low heat for long periods.

If you need a powerful stove, this is the one for you! Image: Companion

3. Companion Single and Double Wok Cookers

These are low-pressure cookers available in single and double sizes which, with the addition of a bayonet gas hose, can be connected to the regulated gas supply of a caravan or camper trailer. They have a 3/8 SAE rear gas port and no sides or rear windshields.

The burners on them have a huge 13500 BTU output and are suited to a wide range of pots and pans, including woks. Ignition is integrated into the gas control knob and simmer control is excellent. These are also popular for outdoor catering events, mobile food stalls or as an additional wok burner for your outdoor barbecue.

The only drawback on these is that the burner fittings sit loosely on the burner head. So it would be worth stashing them somewhere secure whilst in transit.

For outdoor catering or market stalls, the Double Wok Cooker will have you covered. Image: Companion

2. Zempire 2 Burner Deluxe Stove & Grill

Not only does this stove have high output burners and handsome good looks, it’s also an incredibly versatile stove that’ll bring a new level of gourmet cooking to your camp kitchen.

It features two stove top burners along with a grill. This enables you to cook your pasta, heat up some sauce and toast some garlic bread…all at the same time!

With a powder coated steel outer, stainless steel drip tray and piezo ignition, the Zempire 2 Burner Deluxe Stove and Grill is a durable, all-in-one camping stove that is perfect for family getaways.

Cook 3 dishes at once with the Zempire 2 Burner Deluxe Stove & Grill. Image: Zempire

1. Coleman Hyperflame Fyreknight Camp Stove

The Hyperflame Fyreknight was the most popular model in our camp stove range over the past year. These models are unique, offering efficient high output burners and new WindBlock technology that is built into the pot supports. This new technology removes the need for clumsy side guards and opens up more space for larger pots. What’s more, they can operate from disposable and compact propane cylinders or large LPG bottles.

The FyreKnight offers an absolute truckload of heat with 12000 BTU from each burner. It’s also equipped with a piezo ignition for ease of operation. The outer is all steel and features plastic corner bumpers, a heavy-duty latch and a large carry handle.

It’s important to know that these are hot, very hot! If you plan on simmering your Murgh Makhani or slow cooking a stew, this may not be the camping stove for you. However, it’s the perfect stove if you want to boil water quickly, heat up a barbecue plate, or fry up your breakfast.

The Hyperflame is the popular choice for campers due to its high output and piezo ignition. Image: Coleman

Worth a mention – Single Burner Stoves

This The Best Camping Stoves – 2018 Review appeared first on Snowys Blog.

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