#its been a year so I would hope we've all learned our lesson and if I did make a confession account

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

I really want to make a DRDT Confessions account after CH2 is over because I love hearing other people's thoughts and opinions even if I personally disagree with them, I think it would be fun to see what people submit, and I think having spaces like confession accounts is very important when it comes to fandom. but at the same time confession accounts from what I've seen tend to get very out-of-hand (>_>||)

[cherrypikkins]

Here is my contribution to the final prompt from @fe-oc-week! Oct 15 - Endings

With some fake game ending cgs for Kitt :3

No extra lore write-up today! Instead, I've included some sample battle dialogue below the cut. Do enjoy :3

Background generously provided by @damnilovefaerghus

vs transformed Miklan (Conand Tower, White Clouds):

Kitt: "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this… But that's why I'm here."

Kitt: "Listen, Professor. If you can crack its armor, I'll make quick work of it."

Kitt: "But if you want to give your students an impromptu lesson on how to fell a Demonic Beast… I won't object."

If ordered to attack transformed Miklan: Kitt: "Fine, then. Allow me to show you how it's done."

vs Edelgard:

(Battle of Garreg Mach, pre-time skip)

Edelgard: "You and I are not so different, Kitt. I know you wish to be free of the Church's machinations. We might have walked this path together, had you trusted me."

Kitt: "This is rich, coming from the Flame Emperor herself. Your entire reign is built on lies and secrets. I can't trust you any more than I can trust the Church."

Kitt: "And as they say, better the devil you know…"

(Battle at Enbarr, Silver Snow/Verdant Wind)

Kitt: "Edelgard. Let Rhea go. I don't know what you have planned for her, but she and I have a score to settle."

Edelgard: "I am not concerned with vendettas of the ancient past, nor will they have a place in Fodlan's new dawn."

Edelgard: "You of all people should understand what it's like to be powerless, to have all control over your own fate wrested away by the likes of Rhea and her ilk."

Edelgard: "Knowing that, how can you truly wish for her to walk free?"

Kitt: "Because no one deserves to be buried underground, sealed away from the rest of the world and forgotten, left to the mercy of their jailers."

Kitt: "Believe me, I do understand."

(Battle at Enbarr, Azure Moon)

Kitt: "That's quite the transformation, Edelgard. Well done. You've already mastered what I've had to practice in secret for years."

Kitt: "But surely you must know what happens to monsters like you and me. I'll cut you down, same as all the rest.

Hegemon Edelgard: "You are welcome to try."

vs Seteth:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, pre time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Seteth: "Of all people, I thought you would have learned not to repeat the mistakes of the past."

Seteth: "Stand down, lest I be forced to repeat some mistakes of my own."

Kitt: "Seteth. Didn't you promise long ago that the people of Annwen would suffer no harm under your protection?"

Kitt: "I've been meaning to talk to you about that. But for now, it looks like we'll have to fight each other instead."

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Kitt: "Hello, Seteth. You've quite the nerve to show your face around here."

Seteth: "You took the words out of my mouth."

Seteth: "To think, after everything we've tried to do for you, you would once again betray our trust and bear teeth against your own family."

Kitt: "Ha. You're one to talk about trust or family. Even that kid you called 'sister' was getting tired of your never-ending charade."

Seteth: "You will not drag Flayn into this! No matter who you are, know that I will destroy you to safeguard her if I must!"

Kitt: "Then you should have thought about that before bringing her here."

(If Kitt defeats Seteth)

Kitt: "Take Flayn and leave Garreg Mach - now - before I end your life. This is the only chance I'm giving you. I suggest you take it."

Seteth: "I… I understand. We will not meet again."

Seteth: "Regardless of everything else… I am grateful for your mercy. It is certainly more than we have shown you, and more than either of us deserve."

Kitt: "Don't come back."

vs Flayn:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, pre time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Flayn: "Kitt, what are you doing? You cannot truly mean to fight us! We're your family!"

Kitt: "You and I seem to have wildly different ideas about how this 'family' is supposed to work."

Kitt: "For example, if you get to call Seteth 'brother'… where does that leave me?"

Flayn: "I… That's not…"

Kitt: "Not what? Not fair?"

Kitt: "I'll tell you what else isn't fair - being treated like some lost broken toy you can fix and heal until I'm good as new. Better than new. Until there's nothing left of the old me."

Kitt: "Why couldn't you just let me stay asleep forever?"

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post time-skip, Crimson Flower)

Flayn: "Why are you doing this, Kitt?"

Kitt: "Not one step closer, Flayn."

Flayn: "Tell me, I beg of you! I wish only to understand! In what way have I done you wrong? What must I do to make amends?"

Kitt: "Enough! I know you only have the best wishes at heart, but I won't serve as a vessel for your good intentions."

Kitt: "And unlike you, I refuse to spend the rest of my life hiding behind a web of lies and secrets."

Flayn: "Kitt… I know not what to say. To think that it should come to this…"

(If Kitt defeats Flayn)

Kitt: "Find your father and go. Leave this place and never come back."

Flayn: "I… Yes. I will do as you say."

Flayn: "I wish you nothing but happiness for the rest of your days. Good-bye, Kitt."

Kitt: "…Good-bye, Flayn."

vs Rhea:

(Final Battle, Silver Snow)

Kitt: "This is just like what happened at Annwen… and the day I was struck down."

Kitt: "Rhea. This disaster is of your own making. But to suffer like this is too much for anyone to bear - even you."

Kitt: "Like all the beasts I've felled before, I'll put an end to your pain."

(Battle at Garreg Mach, pre-time skip, Crimson Flower)

Rhea: "I see you are determined stand against me here once more, after all the mercy I've shown you, after every second chance I've given. You truly are the capricious one, aren't you?"

Kitt: "I discarded that name long ago. It's just Kitt now."

(Battle at Tailtean, Crimson Flower)

Seiros: "You. I know what you are. I've seen your true face, for it has haunted me since that day I struck you down."

Seiros: "I did everything in my power to make amends, to restore you to full glory, just like she bade me. And yet once more, I must destroy you where you stand."

Kitt: "You still haven't figured it out, have you? She set you up with an impossible task. It was never in your power to reverse the deeds of the past."

Kitt: "No matter how hard you try, some things can never be fixed, nor healed, nor restored to what they once were. She was trying to teach you a lesson."

Kitt: "But it's fine. I've moved on from that. And so can you."

Seiros: "You know I cannot. I was never as quick to change as you are. Nor will I stop trying to bring her back, even if you are determined to betray her memory time and time again."

(Battle of Fhirdiad, Crimson Flower)

The Immaculate One: "You! Miserable, conniving serpent who dares hide itself among the flock!"

The Immaculate One: "You are not worthy of her blessing! Not worthy of her blood! I should have sealed you in your own grave while I had the chance!"

Kitt: "Yes, you should have. But don't be sad. The moment you're gone from this world, I won't be far behind."

As enemy, if not recruited:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post-time skip, Crimson Flower, if Kitt not recruited)

Kitt: "It's a shame we can't catch up, for old time's sake. Too bad I must ask you to move."

Kitt: "…Or by all means, keep on testing me. You're not going to like what happens next, and neither am I."

If defeated:

Kitt: "Into the dark, once more. Maybe this time…forever."

vs Byleth:

(Battle at Garreg Mach, post-time skip, Crimson Flower, if Kitt not recruited)

Kitt: "Professor. Did I ever tell you? How much you remind me of someone I once knew?"

Kitt: "Long ago, she told me that the moment I've decided who my people are, I must fight to protect them with everything I have. Even if it means defying the Goddess herself."

Kitt: "…I suppose you don't know or remember, do you? Yet here you are, following in her example, just as I am doing now."

TWISTD Members:

vs Solon

(Remire Village)

Kitt: "I should have known it was you. You're the one who started all this. First my village, and now…Remire."

Solon: "So now you know who I am, Ghost of Annwen. But if you think I'm but simple prey for you to hunt down, you are gravely mistaken!"

(Sealed Forest)

Solon: "Take not one step closer, Demon of Annwen! Lest your weakness for these beasts prove your undoing!"

Kitt: "What's the matter, Tomas? I thought you always dreamed of finding out how the story ends."

vs Kronya

Kronya: "You don't scare me. You're nothing but a stupid ghost story! I'll send you back to the filthy grave you crawled up from, you little freak!"

Kitt: "So you've heard of me from your darling bedtime stories. I guess I won't have to explain what happens to you next."

vs Cornelia

Cornelia: "Well now. This really won't do. I'll have to put an end to you quickly."

Kitt: "And I'll be sure to end you slowly."

vs Thales

Thales: "You insatiable wretch! That you would choose to menace me now, here, of all places!"

Kitt: "Don't look so shocked. I did promise I'd be back for the rest of you, didn't I?"

[rynwayfarer]

A Letter from the Past/Dear Little Me

Hello my friend, It has been a while since we talked, How are you doing, Is your life going well?

We have come quite a ways, From when we were young, Quietly watching, Quietly alone.

I wonder if you are, Looking back on, These tiresome days, Do you miss them?

I'm sure that things, Have changed for you, Much more than, For myself.

Are you happy now? Or are your days, Bitter with tears? Have you found some one you love?

If so, I'm happy for you, I pray that they are good to you, That they treat you kind, And throw a few jabs now and then.

If not, don't fret, You will find them, They may be under your nose, Waiting for you to see them.

Where ever you are, I hope you are well, I hope you keep moving, Forward, always forward.

I look forward, To the day we meet, For surely we will, It is our fate.

But when I get there, Please look back, And remember where we've been, Remember me as I am now.

For these years, Must have changed you, Ten years will do that to a person. Best wishes,

You from ten years ago.

----------------------------------------------

Dear Little Me,

I can't believe it's already been ten years since you wrote to me. I finally got your letter. 

You know its funny, I always thought you had written a lot more, but I suppose you didn't really know what to ask back then. You did ask me some things of course, about love, about happiness, and if I missed the days you are living now.

To each and every one of them I can confidently answer yes; and no.

I did find love, a couple times, though I only asked one of them. And through them I learned what love truly felt like with no strings attached, no thorns, just someone who truly cared for me. They had a big heart, but they only had room for one person to love, and when they visited their old friend, well, I let them go because I loved them.

I also learned to love myself more. I know you probably think that's sappy an just a thing people say, but it's so important; and its a hard lesson to learn. I also learned that my way of loving is a bit different. I prefer companionship over the love you'd find on TV. A bit more on that later.

All that said, I also haven't found the love you asked me about. Right now I'm on my own, and for the time being, that's okay. I'm sure they are right under my nose like you said, but my heart is still freshly sore and not yet ready to try again. But when it is, I'm sure I'll find the one for me next time.

Like love I did find happiness too, I find myself happy with where I live, and the people I call my friends, and the artwork I do. But more than just happiness I found my other emotions too. 

I found anger for those that do wrong by me and those I care about, and those that think its right to hurt others. I found sadness in the distance between myself and those I love, and the relentless passing of time. I found joy in the games I play with my friends, the walks I take in the woods, and the music I listen to as I walk home from work. I found envy for what I don't have, fear of the future, disgust at the unjust.

I've laughed harder, screamed louder, cried longer. I've felt the world that used to make me numb, and all of it, the good and the bad, is wonderful.

You asked me if I missed the days you live in now. Or the ones you will live from here out. And sometimes I do. I miss the simplicity of our life, though I'm sure you would tell me our life was anything but simple; and you wouldn't be wrong. But we had a routine, we didn't need to worry about rent, or taxes, or crazy corporate overlords. Though I have no doubt those are coming up soon. You're almost in college after all. I miss the places that used to be so familiar to me. The streets I could walk blindfolded. The infinitely small town, which is not so small any more.

But I also like where I am now. I talk to our brother more, our other siblings too. We're seeing a concert next month. I have roommates I like. I still have my friends from high school, well some of them at least. I also have friends all over the world. People so far from me that seeing them feels like a pipe dream, and yet we're pretty close. And I have met one of them. You'd cringe so hard if you knew where I work, but I love the people I work with and it makes it bearable. I love that I have the freedom to do what I want, if I want, and I get to sleep in on my days off. So I do like where I am now for the most part.

You also talked about change, and boy have we changed in the last 10 years. Or rather I'm mostly the same but I understand things better than when I was you. I learned to fight for what I believe in, and speak my mind, and I'm much more outspoken. It makes me come off a bit brash, but I've found people who appreciate that side of me. I learned that I'm Asexual, which likely isn't a term you've found yet, but its exactly what you've been telling people all along, you just didn't know it yet. I started taking some meds, they make me not hate myself when I look in the mirror. I'm sure you'll be looking forward to that, though it does require patience. Which I know you have, but it will still take a lot of it. I have plants! I know you think you have a black thumb but honestly, we're doing okay with them. I did cosplay! I bet you think I'm crazy for it, but it was fun to try. I've had a couple of those "Just Jump" moments, and all of them were scary, and all of them were worth it. And I've kept moving forward just as you said I should.

10 years. From where I'm standing it seems so short, though I know you will have trouble perceiving it from your end. The journey was good. It was worthwhile. I'll see you when you get here.

Love: The Future

PS: To the me 10 years from now. It's my turn to ask questions. First and foremost I hope you're doing well, and I hope you'll tell me about yourself. Did we make it? Was it hard? Did we stumble? Did we get back up again? How's the weather? Are you still playing games? Are our friends still around? Are you still living in the same place? Are our siblings good? How about our parents? What are your hopes and dreams? I'll be there soon I'm sure, and you can tell me all about it.

[artsysmadworld]

The Sad Meow Meow Pt. 1

Continuing from this

Maria finds Aaron casting a shadow spell on Blite, Toppy, and Jason—her only son. It turns out that these were the ones who have been "hunting" for her. Furious, she summons her mannequins then circles around Aaron.

Maria: "You have disappointed me, Aaron."

Aaron: "Wait! But-I-well-"

Maria: "What's the matter? Got your own tongue?"

Aaron: "..Maria-"

Maria: "Is this why you tire the house to walk for miles? Have you started a wild goose chase because of this?"

Aaron: "I did..! And I'm sorry…"

Maria: "You are sorry? For the past year, I thought my only son was dead. Every night, I wonder what it would be like if he was alive. But he is alive; and you hid him from me. "Sorry" cannot reverse the tears I have shed."

Blite: "This is getting out of hand. Should we stop this?"

Jason: "You're kidding? He deserves this. He's been attacking us and hurt my mama in the process."

Maria: "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Aaron: "…I apologise. I got carried away. I didn't realise how big this would've gotten."

Maria: "...Selfish and ungrateful. I let you into my home with open arms. I've mentored you the best I can. I gave you food for free. I washed your clothes and lent you his boots. And this is how you repay me? Hiding my son from me just so you can stay in luxury all to yourself."

Aaron: "That's not what I-"

Maria: "Enough!"

Blite: "Okay, I've got to stop this. Hey! Hey hey woah sorry to interrupt. It's getting late though and we ain't got no time for a family feud and stuff."

Maria: She halts then disperses the mannequins. "Sigh. You're right. I hope we all learn a valuable lesson. What is your name?"

Blite: "Name's Blite. The little dude is Toppy."

Toppy: "Evening, mrs…?"

Maria: "Just call me Maria. And I'm not married anymore. Oh mijo, I have no idea how much I've missed you. And you've brought in a few wonderful friends."

Jason: "I've missed you too, mama. It's good to be back home."

Toppy: "Well everyone, we've walked for days on end and we've finally reached our destination. We've had our dinner, so I believe it's time we take a good rest."

Maria: "I agree. Mijo, would you like to sleep in your old room?"

Jason: "Sure, mama. Like old times."

Maria: "It's the same as it ever was. And Aaron…"

Aaron: "…"

Maria: "You're on night patrol. Watch out for any "dangers" that might appear."

Jason: "You can keep the boots. It'll get cold outside."

Maria: "Goodnight, everyone."

Aaron:

[mysoulsjourney]

Pisces

Well... I can say that I can clearly see why the universe brought us together. I will say that I've never felt so attracted to a partner as I have with you. Your eyes are so captivating... perhaps its the pisces magic. So many choices that we could've made in the beginning but the main one that we both likely regret is making the decision to graduate our connection from friends to lovers. I knew I was making the wrong choice to let you have me in that way but of course I let curiosity get the best of me. I just had to see things through... for the plot. Now look where that has led us. First the positives... we've managed to grow a lot together... more you than me if we're being honest. And you know there's still a lot of growing to do on your part. What you've taught me with this connection is that I will never betray myself again. I will admit that it was Scorpio who made me see the light when it comes to how ridiculous it was to betray myself over and over in the name of love and hopes and dreams. Although my infidelity is a great source of pain for you, it is a great source of power for me as the lesson that I got as a result of my choice to betray you gave me a life changing realization that I will never let go of. And that realization is... that I don't have to settle and neither do you. Yes, there is a lot of stake and we have built a lot together but at the end of the day, neither of us should sacrifice our most deepest needs and desires for the sake of future hope. Through this experience, I have learned to see and accept things at face value. The truth is, you may not be able to give me everything that I NEED because it's not natural to you and that is OKAY. That doesn't make you a failure, it just means we are not compatible enough therefore we should not be together and that is the end of that. Either of us trying to force ourselves to fit into a piece of the puzzle that will never fit is pointless and will lead to never ending disappointment and hurt. There were several times within the past week where I was ready to walk away but you decided that I was more important than whatever it was you thought you wanted. I am very hesitant when you do this because I feel sometimes that your choice to betray yourself will bring us right back to where we were. You may be comfortable betraying yourself for the sake of maintaining our connection but I am letting you know right now... the moment that you decide to seek revenge and use your resentment to try to hurt me because you feel like you've been "sacrificing so much"... I will run. Because like I've said our entire relationship... NOBODY IS ASKING YOU TO. Please love yourself like I do and accept that it is okay for two people to be incompatible and decide to call it quits. You cry and hurt when I mention ending things but that is because we've already been down this road before. Your inability to communicate when something bothers you, be a pushover, then turn around and explode and try to punish me for your unspoken words will NEVER be a part of my reality again. As I sit here now, I don't see us being together for the rest of our lives... just because I feel there is a lot of growing and maturing to do on your part. And that would take years that I am not willing to give more of. I love you Pisces. There was a point where I wanted to marry you and work through our issues. But that was a version of me that was willing to betray myself. Never again. In the meantime, I will enjoy our time together as much as I can. We're all on borrowed time.

[engbergsinfinland]

Saturday, Once Again!

First up, Cece's announced on Friday that she has a loose tooth! She's been on hiatus from loose teeth for about a year and a half and now one of her lower teeth is wiggly -- and she is committed to losing it very soon.

Also, Rowan asked me on Thursday night, "Mom, do you know the song 'Space Odyssey'?" and I was like, "Of course, and you mean 'Space Oddity.'" And I said, "How do you know that song? It has such a sad ending, when Major Tom is lost in space and asks for the people back on Earth to tell his wife he loves her." Rowan said, "No, that's not the one I mean. Our teacher played us one that was recorded on the International Space Station and it has a happy ending." I though, well, I guess I must hear this revisionist ditty -- and, you know, it's pretty good. I always love a happy ending. Following on this was my question to Rowan about a good variation/relative/descendent of th e"Space Oddity" theme: the 1982 Peter Schilling song "Major Tom." Had he heard it? Well, now he has! Since Thursday, Rowan has been learning to play that on the piano, so that is what we're hearing a lot of this weekend.

Eric ran a 5K this morning as a part of the ParkRun series and he got a personal best! I spent the morning writing a conference abstract for a conference in Madrid in March that my friend Cristina had told me is a great conference. I have never gone to a conference in Europe during the academic year because the travel is too hard for just being able to be away for a few days. So, now that we're in a time zone not too far off from Madrid's, I am hoping to go to this conference! While I was writing the conference abstract, changing the bed linens, doing laundry, and petting Alex, and while Eric was running to the point of exhaustion because he really pushed himself to go super fast, the kids were at figure skating training.

We met them at the rink when they were done (and there was also a music festival going on the rink's massive parking lot, since it is a three-rink complex) and we went to the Prisma grocery store, which we love, and to the Power (it's basically like a Best Buy or Circuit City) and I got a dongle that has an HDMI and USB jack so I can plug in the monitor that was in this flat to my MacBook Air so I do not have to be straining my neck all year while I work on this book (UX+You is its title) and all of the other writing tasks I have to do. After our time at Prisma and Power, we went to another shopping center so I could go to a fabric store to try to find some buttons for a shirt I am making Cece. And, then, we went home! I went back out with Rowan and Alex for a walk -- and then, tonight, they had virtual piano lessons with their teacher back at home. They've just continued, without a hitch!

What else happened this week . . . OH! I taught my first class at Tampere University! It went well and I used the strategies I had planned, to engage students who were not really interested in raising a hand or speaking in class. I was told that Finns would choose almost anything above calling attention to themselves. I had nine students and the number may drop below that (one student dropped today and emailed me to say it was because she thought her English was not strong enough) -- but I hope I don't lose more. The class is "Ethics in Technical and Professional Communication." Other news of the week is that I went to parents' night for Rowan's 6th grade class, and that was very informative, and Eric took Cece to her second gymnastics class so far, since we've been here, and she is so excited to be back in gymnastics.

Back to the parents' night: the teacher, Annariikka, seems over-the-moon with her 6th graders this year. I gathered than many of them have been together and have had her as a teacher since 3rd grade! I spoke with her briefly afterwards to ask something about the communication app they use and she told me Rowan is settling in so well and the other kids seem to like and respect him because, her words, he's "really smart." I also learned that each 6th grade class saves money, well, earns it through fundraising, to go on a 6th-grade trip at the end of the year. Last year, the 6th graders went to a family-type resort for two nights, about 1.5 hours away. This class has lots and lots of Euros still to raise in order to get to go. We learned about all the things they can sell and the bake sales they could have to get this kind of money pulled together! Cece's class's parents' night is this coming week :)

I also went to a international faculty information session on Tuesday at the other location of Tampere University (there are two campuses in different parts of Tampere). The university has lots of initiatives to integrate new international faculty and their spouses and the program was interesting and I loved hearing about all of the events and the buddy program that will happen over the academic year. I met a totally cool woman from Ireland who is a philosophy professor. She still lives in Helsinki, but it would be great to get coffee with her sometime, here or there. Speaking of coffee, my passionately anti-coffee husband is still flirting with the idea of drinking coffee (I think I mentioned his cappuccino comment a few weeks back). He actually got like a vanilla iced-coffee oat milk carton at the store and he said, "it didn't taste bad," in a charmingly incredulous way. And I said, "of course it does not taste bad. That stuff is like candy. Or melted Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream."

I must mention before signing off that there is a phenomenon of pizza-and-kebab places here. I was just texting McKenzie about it today. There are maybe a hundred (is this an exaggeration? I am actually not sure) pizza-and-kebab restaurants in Tampere alone. If you're curious, check out this one and you can change the language to English; see their menu for the variety of options. Last year, when we were in Sweden, and happened upon a pasta/pizza place that served Cece alfredo pasta that actually was a yellow curry alfredo, we thought that was a one-of-a-kind odd situation. Now, I am starting to realize this is a broader phenomenon -- Middle Eastern/pizza/pasta fusion restaurants. It is certainly all the rage here.

Have a great rest of your weekend!

[famousnerdtragedy]

Triumph of Blood and Magic

Harry Potter Fanfiction, with original female character that is Harry Potter's sister and the mate of Sirius Black & Remus Lupin.

The Great Hall of Hogwarts buzzed with anticipation as Bella Potter stood shoulder to shoulder with her brother Harry, flanked by their closest friends and allies. The time had come for the final showdown with Voldemort, and the air crackled with a mixture of fear and determination.

Bella glanced at Harry, their eyes meeting with an unspoken understanding. They had come a long way since discovering their shared heritage, and now, together, they stood ready to face their greatest challenge yet.

As Voldemort's forces gathered outside the castle walls, Bella felt a surge of power coursing through her veins. She knew that she and Harry were destined for this moment, their combined magic offering the only hope of defeating the Dark Lord once and for all.

With a silent nod to each other, Bella and Harry led their allies into battle, their wands blazing with a brilliance that matched the fire in their souls. Spells collided in mid-air as they fought with a ferocity born of desperation, each move calculated and precise.

As the battle raged on, Bella found herself locked in a fierce duel with Bellatrix Lestrange, Voldemort's most loyal follower. Their magic clashed in a dazzling display of light and darkness, each strike fuelled by years of animosity and hatred.

But Bella refused to be consumed by vengeance. Drawing upon the lessons she had learned from her mentors and the love she held in her heart, she channelled her magic with a newfound clarity and purpose.

With a final, decisive blow, Bella overpowered Bellatrix, sending her crashing to the ground in defeat. And as she turned to rejoin the battle, she saw Harry standing tall, his wand raised high as he faced Voldemort himself.

With a burst of energy, Bella rushed to her brother's side, their combined magic intertwining in a radiant display of power. Voldemort's red eyes narrowed in fury as he realised the extent of their strength, but it was too late.

With a deafening roar, the Dark Lord was vanquished, his form crumbling to dust before their eyes. The cheers of victory echoed through the Great Hall as Bella and Harry embraced, their bond stronger than ever before.

In the aftermath of the battle, peace descended upon the wizarding world once more. Bella and Harry returned to Hogwarts as heroes, their names forever etched in history as the saviours of the magical realm.

Surrounded by their loved ones, Bella and Harry found solace in each other's company, their bond as siblings stronger than ever before. And as they looked to the future, they knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together, united in blood and magic.

bella marries her mates In the aftermath of Voldemort's defeat, Hogwarts stood as a beacon of hope, its halls alive with celebration and joy. Amidst the jubilation, Bella Potter found herself surrounded by her loved ones, her heart overflowing with gratitude and relief.

As the festivities continued into the night, Bella sought out her mates, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, her soulmates whose unwavering love had sustained her through the darkest of times. With a smile that lit up her entire face, she approached them, her heart brimming with love. "Sirius, Remus," she said, her voice tinged with emotion, "we've been through so much together, and I can't imagine my life without you both by my side."

Sirius and Remus exchanged a knowing glance before Sirius took Bella's hand in his, his eyes shining with unspoken affection. "Bella, you are the light of our lives," he said, his voice steady and sure. "We would follow you to the ends of the earth and beyond."

Remus nodded in agreement, his expression soft yet resolute. "You have brought so much love and warmth into our lives, Bella," he said. "We are grateful every day to have you as our mate."

Tears pricked at the corners of Bella's eyes as she gazed at the two men who held her heart in their hands. Without a moment's hesitation, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around them, pulling them into a tight embrace.

In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of their love, Bella knew that she had found her home. With Sirius and Remus by her side, she felt invincible, ready to face whatever challenges life may bring.

And so, under the stars that shone bright above Hogwarts, Bella Potter married her mates, sealing their bond with vows of love and devotion. Their union was a testament to the power of love, a beacon of hope in a world that had been touched by darkness.

As they danced beneath the moonlit sky, Bella, Sirius, and Remus knew that their love would endure for all eternity, a guiding light in the darkness, a reminder that together, they were stronger than anything life could throw their way.

[lesbian-serpent-handler]

Hi hi!! How about 🌸, 🌱 and 🐻 for whichever F/O you'd like?

Oh my god, so I wrote this out in my phones notes and then just. Forgot about it. Whoopsie.

Yay hiii!! Doing this for papa emeritus ii (platonic, 💀) lucille (💍) hanzo (🏹)and alduin (🐲)

🌸 Pink - How do you and your F/O want to help your love blossom? Will you be doing something new in your relationship next year?

💀(platonic)

💍our love is already quite intense. I would like to take her to America again, to sight see without worrying about money or work or finding a target. Nothing majorly new on the horizon, on my end at least. Lucille is quite good at keeping secrets so who knows what she may have planed!

🏹I'm learning Japanese for him, finally. I know very little from on and off lessons the past... 6 or 7 years... but it's time I take the initiative to do something beneficial and will make us closer! Other than that, it's just the natural trajectory of our relationship happening. We've also started discussing marriage since we've been together for so long.

🐲 I doubt there's much new we can bring into our relationship. All we can hope for is to remain undisturbed.

🌱 Green - What are your hopes for your future beside your F/O? Any shared goals between you?

💀as I'm married to the current papa, there's really nowhere else to go in terms of job security lol. As the retired papa, he gives copia and I advice, and teases that I've taken sister imperators position as papas right hand (although she doesn't appreciate the joke, she does acknowledge my work and hints she would accept me one day taking the mantle)

💍im... not sure... we can't really get married, I wouldn't dream of taking her from Allerdale hall, despite thinking it may be good for her, I would never take her away from Thomas. I think I just want our future to be happy. Quiet and happy.

🏹 marriage might be on our horizon m, we haven talked about it seriously, but well. I have a feeling. Otherwise, we are happy being able to wake up next to each other. He wants to get me fluent in Japanese to take me for a vacation some day.

🐲 -does bringing about the end times count?- mostly we want a peaceful time together. Alduin has lived a long life, and wishes to spend the portion he shares with me not doing anything too cataclysmic. Usually.

🐻 Brown - What about your F/O brings you a sense of safety? What makes them feel safe around you?

💀hes very protective, and that alone makes me feel safe. While hes usually very put together, hes also not afraid to kick the shit out of someone. Papa has been described as sad, bitter, and angry, but honestly? Its the weight of his family's expectations (with the knoweldge that hes a placeholder for his brother, and the way hes treated by his father). Giving him a space to be himself, unhindered, and knowing that I'll still love and accept him as who he is makes him feel safe. Once, in a quiet moment by the fire, playing chess, he told me he was jealous of my father and that I was the daughter he dreamed of having. I only cried a lot 🥹

💍 I don't know if lucille makes me feel *safe* per se, but I also don't feel *unsafe* with her. She certainly makes me happy, but I find her to be safety neutral lol. I know I make her feel safe, she's told me as much! All those ghosts in Allerdale hall, she says she can't feel their presence with me. I quiet her mind, I pose no threat to her and Thomas, and she can feel... normal with me.

🐲 physical safety isn't something either of us really need to worry about with each other. I mean a mage is usually able to defend themselves well enough, but throw in a literal dragon of legend? its a mix of love and comfort, and walking in a strange new territory. It's very new for both of us, so it seems we're both very aware of potential missteps. Even with this sort of hyper vigilance, we know that it's nothing we cannot handle together. It would take the combined eight divines to tear us apart.

🏹 just being near him makes me feel safe. He's one of the few people that makes my anxiety just melt away, because even if I start to panic, a big warm hand on my back and a gentle word and I know im ok. I do my best to do the same for him. Sometimes he doesn't sleep well, with memories of his past, or of things he's done. I lay awake with him as long as he needs, holding him and telling him how loved he is, how I'm never going to leave. I hope I'm able to help him as much as he helps me.

[gabenvrhappened]

LifeOr... The Airplane Didn't Crash

Read the inspired lyric Catastrophic Minds

Going to London was a wild ride, from beginning to end. Intense were the months leading to the day I would enter the plane that would reset my whole life. Intense were the moments I stayed in packed airports and small seats. My throat was hurting, and my head was working non-stop. Once in my life I saw something as big as this going down the drain right in front of my eyes, and this episode still follows me to this day. I won't say it haunts me because I learned valuable lessons from it, but it's undeniable how I still second-guess some things. Like getting on a plane to London to start a new life.

Those long hours made me ponder about many things. The one that banged my head the most was how it's crazy how human beings are wired to think the worst-case scenario out of every single thing. If someone you love doesn't pick up the phone, for example, and you don't get a hold of them for more time than you're used to, then you probably think something terrible happened to them . When something comes easily to you, then it's probably not good for you because we've been told that nothing easy is worth the fight, so everything needs to have a struggle to be worth it.

Watching the sun rising on the window, over the bay of Biscay, I fought the demons that were falling from grace from the sky, trying to get into the white flying big piece of aluminum I was being miraculously carried on (flying farther on a river and a fast bullet flying from a gun, all at the same time). Impossible questions were trying to grow like poison ivy on the cavities of my body, making me want to play a game of chess against end possibilities, and all of them were more catastrophic than the others. "What ifs" and "What will I dos" kept balancing on a tightrope in the hope to make the other one fall and call it a win, as if they were both good things.

Why can't we think of what can go right instead of what can go wrong? Why can't our minds create positive thoughts without creating anxiety and expectations? Well, those are rhetorical questions because I know why. I must have read somewhere that thinking of all that could go wrong is a defense mechanism that we grew to develop hundreds of years as a way to prepare us for anything that might happen in this unpredictable life. Which is confusing, since anything means thousands of options and we don't plan thousands of outcomes in our heads. We get obsessive with just a couple of things and ruminate them over and over again like a piece of gum we don't even notice it lost its flavor. Always the same lines, always the same fears.

And when we don't think of the worst, we daydream of perfect scenarios. I don't know if you daydream of things you want to happen and don't get sad when they don't happen, but I do (if you don't, you've won the lotery). My daydreams cause expectations, and expectations are reality's worst enemy. Daydreaming is trying to be in control of things we can't control. It's thinking we know better than everything that's around us and better than the thing that makes the sun rise or the wind blow oxygen into our lungs.

I'm trying to change my "what ifs". Instead of "what if the plane crashes and I lose the chance to see what will happen in life?" to "what if the plane lands safely and I get the chance to have a clean slate?" Instead of "what if my throat turns out to be a problem and they think I have a horrible disease?" to "what if they know it's normal to get your voice messed up on a twenty-hour flight inside a capsule?"

At the end, the airplane didn't crash. My throat didn't kill me. All the answers were answered. Nothing appeared out of nowhere in my bag. And there I was, at a never-ending parking lot of the airport looking for a friend that would get me, and the friends who came to pick me up, home. Where I would sleep in a kid's bed in late-night clothes.

It's true; I won't lie. It's not easy. I still think that I won't get to be who I want to be. These intrusive thoughts come, but they have to go. I know nothing about tomorrow, so there's no use in wondering. If lots of bad things can happen, I'd rather think lots of incredible things will happen. No more catastrophic minds if I can help it.

[wornpodcast]

Welcome Back to Wørn

Listen to the Podcast at: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/worn

Hello, dear listeners, and welcome back to Worn. It's been a few years since we last spoke, and I can't express how thrilled I am to be back behind the microphone, sharing stories that matter – stories about labor, self-discovery, growth, and the complex realities of poverty. I'm your host, Silla Quiñones, and today's episode is all about the long-awaited revival of Worn after our hiatus.

So, where have I been, and why the sudden return? Life has an uncanny way of throwing curveballs, and sometimes, our passions need to take a backseat. In the time I've been away, I've faced challenges, celebrated triumphs, and learned invaluable life lessons that I'm eager to share with you all.

The theme of this episode is, in many ways, a reflection of my personal journey during the hiatus. Labor is an integral part of our lives – it shapes our identities, influences our choices, and often brings us face-to-face with our own vulnerabilities. The decision to put Worn on hold was a difficult one, but it allowed me to focus on my own labor and where my life is headed. To be precise, I worked through half of the pandemic, which was quite unpleasant. I’ve gone back to school. I’ve created my own art shop online. I’ve been working hard on my own life.

During these years, I realized that self-discovery isn't always a linear process. We might stumble, fall, or even lose our way, but the beauty lies in the fact that we can always find our path again. Worn is a testament to the stories of those who, despite their struggles, find their way through the tough times.

Now, let's talk about growth – a topic that's been at the forefront of my mind during this hiatus. Growth isn't just about moving forward; it's about acknowledging where we've been and using those experiences to propel us into the future. Worn has grown, too – its content, its impact, and its ability to foster connection even during times of absence. Worn continues to garner listeners and that absolutely floored me, I want to provide content worthy of people’s attention, so I am going to do my best with a new layout that's more to the point and less, what I think the podcast should be like. I think something that hindered my ability to deliver good episodes and consistency was that I had a very unrealistic idea of what Worn should be and was often not happy with myself for how episodes would turn out.

Poverty is a harsh reality that many continue to face. It's a topic that demands our attention, our empathy, and our willingness to drive change. Through Worn, I hope to continue to delve into these issues and stories – stories that may be difficult to hear but are essential in our pursuit of a more just and equitable world.

Now, to those of you who've been patiently waiting for Worn's return, I express my deepest gratitude. Your support and dedication have fueled my passion for this podcast, and I promise to honor that commitment with thought-provoking content that sheds light on the facets of labor that often remain in the shadows.

As we move forward, I want to open up the conversation. I want to hear from you, our listeners, about your experiences, your struggles, and your triumphs. Worn isn't just my podcast – it's a platform for all of us to come together and share our stories, fostering a sense of community and understanding.

So, what can you expect in the upcoming episodes? We'll explore some of the bigger news occurring here in the US, smaller stories, concepts, and dealing with uncomfortable situations. It is my hope to have some share their stories, but I am an extrovert with introvert tendencies and one of the tendencies is that I don’t do well asking for help. That’s why I am hoping you, my audience are willing to share and submit your stories. Whether it is written-in via tumblr submissions or if you have access to the podcasters for the Spotify platform, a voice recording message sent in.

Before we wrap up, I want to remind you that Worn isn't just about the struggles – it's about the resilience, the tenacity, and the beauty that can emerge from those struggles. It's about celebrating the small victories and recognizing that every step forward is a triumph worth acknowledging.

Thank you for joining me in this long-awaited return of Worn. I'm Mia Torres, your host, and I'm excited to embark on this new chapter with you all. Until next time, remember that no matter how worn we may feel, we are always capable of embracing our strength and rewriting our stories. Stay resilient.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Worn. Join us next time as we dive into the stories of those who've navigated the intricate dance between labor, self-discovery, growth, and poverty. Remember to subscribe and share Worn with your friends and family. Together, we can illuminate the hidden corners of life's journey.

[yowwsoi]

Letter before we went to Jersey

If you looked hard enough inside your room, you would have found this handwritten letter inside the book, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think - Page 16. But I've also written the content just for the sake of having the memory of it.

Never in my life did I ever think na muabot ko ani nga time – to pen you a letter, if not, for the very last time… idk. Everything that has happened for the past weeks, if not for the past year, has been a rollercoaster. Sobra pa sa Iron Gwazi. I can’t even imagine that this love, the love that I have been comfortable with, the love I have always treasured, protected, and the love I have only known all these years, will eventually, come to an end. It’s hard for me to comprehend we’ve been together for 12 years. I barely remember the last time I penned you a letter – it was 5 months ago when I was bawling my eyes out as I am writing you my wedding vows. Now, its just the same eyes bawling – but only because we’re in this situation. Oh well.. Let me just start this by saying, that my life forever changed from having known you. Not just your love and compassion. It was your candor and patience, your compassion and respect. You were raised right, even if you think you've gone wrong. All you ever wanted was to find where you belong. Although I do not completely understand who you are now, I do believe that you are living your truth. You always had the courage to live your dreams to the extent of which I live exuberantly in secret. But I’ll learn that lesson from you – basta wala koy gakatumban nga lain tao and if the fewest of the closest to my heart knew, then wala nakoy care sa uban. Salute to you for that! As is common with couples together as long as we have been, we tend to find comfort in our relationship – knowing we’ll always be there for each other. We’ve said to each other many times….we are soul mates always and forever. Knowing that we will always be there for each other gives me a tremendous feeling of safety. You have the passion and power of which some can only wonder. Even si madam Julia di kasukol lol. You’re in my mind and always in my heart. Where there can only be one other. Which I am not sure I have yet to find – but I am fully decided for now nga dili sa. And to hold you so near and dear to my soul shows that I have faith in a kind like no other. In a love that will go unrequited. That pain runs deeper than my heart can imagine. And yet I've felt it, and I linger to it. Because it’s the only thing that keeps me alive. It’s the only thing that gives me purpose right now.

I've already gained so much from you. More than some can fathom in their lifetimes. I have gained an eternity worth of purpose. Someone was able to love me for the flaws I have tried to get rid of during my existence. I couldn't even love me. I hated to look at me, that even if I have oozing confidence you always knew I didn’t have that. Were you just as messed up as me? Is that how you were able to love such destruction?

Either way, your love will transcend generations. I will forever be in your debt to reason. Your goal was simply to love as you have been loved. No one can survive without ever having loved someone or without someone ever having loved them. There is still so much to give and receive in hopes that only love can survive the tragedies we have overcome. The dysfunction we were created in and molded by. Your love has truly managed to transcend it all. The only reason I live. Since you told me your truth.. my life doesn't exist anymore. I am only a mere shell of what could be. Forever ready and waiting. Stuck in limbo because pure expression is rare. Somehow we've managed to survive. Purity is our domain. Your peace has taught me a new way of life. It has given me a path into a world that only exists for those who earn it - for those who deserve it.

Solitude has it perks though. Until lonely begins to beg for attention. The yearning for familiarity, the kiss of belonging.. I can’t handle everything alone. But lonely I will not put up with. It is a new monster. Yet to be defeated until a reuniting has occurred, or a new meeting is upon the horizon. I’m looking forward to seeing you again. Travels and time apart will teach us. But will that same love reach us? New beings have come and gone. Some have stayed.. yet still we search. Longing for true acceptance of another's meaningful touch. Whether it is our hearts, our minds, our souls, or body of hope. We remain truthful to the hunt. I know what I have brought you. Experience not yet matched. The first time never outdone. Nothing can compare. All around me I have witnessed a very new eye opening journey. Your road seldom traveled. For in secret we love and in silence I grieved. I am forever alone in what we once called love. I know you understand how much I love you, but I sometimes think you don’t grasp the magnitude. You complain about your eyesight, your skin, your wrinkles, your not so fat tummy, your back pains, those are the things that make you so beautifully mature. I look at those same qualities - and I’m thankful for every single one. I’ve seen you earn each of those wrinkles (esp if you’re angry at something awful I did) and every one of those gray hairs. It’s the journey that got us to where we are that makes you so exceptionally beautiful to me. I look at you every day and still see the most beautiful person in the room – even more beautiful today than that time I looked at you during our wedding day.

Our history together has been filled with great times, a lot of trials, but mostly filled with love and longing for one another. We hear all the time that relationships take so much work – LDRs even. I don’t know what that means. I’ve never worked a day to keep my love for you strong. I don’t need to be reminded that you are the most important person in my life. That is something I could be proud of – that once in this lifetime, I have loved you with all of my heart and everything that I have.

I know I can be a bit of a chore to live with. With the days we’ve lived together here and with the days you spent living with me at home, you have always been the chores woman. You make a good housewife, and I am so proud of that. You keep things organized. I will be as thankful for everything you do – before, now and always. Everything you do will never go unnoticed.

We have different needs – and even in the expense of being away from you will give you peace, that will be something I will do and I don’t know if I’ll regret it soon.. but I love when you are happy. I benefit when you are happy. Seeing you happy makes me feel successful in supporting you. Whatever this is that we’re going through, I am still hopeful that one day, just one eventful day, we will meet again and realize that even though there’s a world out there, we will always come back to each other, as our home. I don’t know about you, but that’s how I feel about you – forever and always. That you’re my home. Not Arcadia. Not Impalambong. Jaen, you are my home. I know you prefer not to talk about these things and prefer to not express your wants and desires….and that’s okay with me as long as you’re happy with that. I don’t pretend to believe I am the best lover ever, but I do know that you make it easy to love. We’ve had a great life with each other over these past 12 years. You may worry a lot about the things that the future holds, but the one thing you never have to worry about is me being there with you, for you and because of you.

I can’t give you the gift you deserve financially this year, but I can offer you my inner most thoughts in this love letter you so desperately deserve. You are – and always will be – the absolute love of my life. Thank you for giving me all of you. And I am sorry, and desperately sorry, for exhausting all of the love you can give. I hope there’s another lifetime to recover that.. and if so, I will not waste the chance that will be given. But for now, lets just hope for the best. I love you, my wife, my love, my bestfriend. Now that I have lost you.. I have lost all the persona I have just mentioned. Its awful, but it has to be the best (?) decision for now. Z

[atomicengineerdetective]

THIS SCENE

Warning: Spoilers and a LOT of feelings

Okay, I know I've been talking about pokemon a lot more than usual today But I HAVE to mention this Whole scene because it's just SO good (I think maybe one of the best). It made me so emotional and reminded me of why I love the franchise

First How it STARTS

A Silent battlefield where all you can hear is pikachu's Labored Breathing. You know He is tired and he probably won't win this one. Everything about this part is Intense. Then, The camera pans To everyone looking just as worried for pikachu.

And when I say Everyone I mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON Ash and Him met during Their adventure.

Everyone is here to support them. From Misty and Brock their very first friends, To Goh Who is in the middle of a mission! (okay, it was obvious that Goh Would be watching Ash Compete but still).

Regardless of their relevance in the story or how long it's been since we've seen them on screen Everyone is here watching Because they all care about Pikachu and Ash So much. It's touching end even in such a tense moment, having all of them here gives you a feeling of hope.

And then pikachu falls. And you Hear ash's VOICE as the screen goes dark.

My chest hurt and I honestly thought that Was it you know? Just another Loss that Ash and Pikachu Would take and learn from.

But then, you see THEM. The OG team. Ash's First Companions, Pikachu's First Friends EVER.

THIS is where I cried. Seeing all 6 of them together like old times. Surrounding pikachu with warm smiles it genuinely Brought tears to my eyes.

And it Wasn't JUST them But ALL of Ash's pokemon

And This is where I BAWLED. Just seeing them made me emotional. Each of them reminding me of so many good memories of amazing moments I witnessed over the years. BUT in this context it hits even harder.

In his Toughest Moments Pikachu is thinking back to them, HIS FAMILY. each and everyone of them there, present, supporting him and cheering him on. He KNOWS that even though they are not ther physically they are with him in spirit and they believe in him. And Ultimately THAT's what Gives him the strength to stand Back up

AND THEN COMES ASH, HIS TRAINER, THE PERSON THAT'S BEEN BY HIS SIDE ALL HIS LIFE

And he says the words that I think best describe why this scene is so powerful

"Everyone's at our side" and That's it isn't it? That's the beauty of this scene and pokemon as a whole. The bonds you make.

Pokemon as a Whole is no stranger to showing the importance of Connections and friendships, and this scene in particular demonstrates it beautifly. It shows a bond so strong that keeps you standing in your toughest moments (Interestingly you can also see it in the games throught the affection stat "Your pokemon Though it out because it didn't want to make you sad" I cry everytime).

This scene shows multiple bonds between friends that surpasses the test of time. Friends that even though they are miles apart and havent seen each other in years havent forgotten each other. Every character pokemon and Human is there. They haven't forgotten Ash and Pikachu. And Ash and pikachu still remember them too. Ash even mentions IN the fight How This Victory Is thanjs to all the lessons He learned and all the pokemon He trained. All the bonds He made

Its truly so wonderful to see How Everyone came back at some point and How when they did, It was as if they never left. Thanks To scenes like this The show and the franchise Feels so homey and warm. THIS is what Honestly Keeps me coming Back to it. Hell, look at me, I've been a fan since I was 12 and I am still Here enjoying the show and its all because of moments like this

What a great anniversary indeed

[katzkinder]

The whole seven sins and virtues thing,are the eves like the virtues(like how the servamps have the sins)to ensure that the sin does not take over them maybe?

Yes and no? It's a little more complicated than that fkghdf

This is my own personal interpretation based on what we've seen in canon, but while the role of an Eve is primarily to sort of corral the Servamp, less than being the virtue to their sin, it's more like... They're there to remind the immortal vampire what it means to be human.

To help them keep a hold of their humanity throughout the mindless monotony of repeating millennia. Time is a flat circle and witnessing the same tragedies play out on large scales would be grating on anyone's ability to emotionally connect with others. Freya herself comments on this, about how pain and anger are things she's seen repeat for a long time, with no one ever learning anything, and how a measly 100 years is enough for everyone to forget the lessons their predecessors learned and start the cycle all over again.

Enter the Eve. The Eve, who is an individual. Who shares individual joys, triumphs, defeats, and sorrows with their Servamps. Who give the identity-less Servamp an identity, a home, a family, somewhere to belong. Who aren't yet jaded by the world and its cruelties. Who still find magic in the small things, like a good meal, or singing, or dancing, or the way flowers bloom after spring, the first snowfall of the season.

The reason Eves are important is because, unlike the Servamp who is stalwart and eternal, the nature of being human is to be ephemeral. We grow, change, and become something entirely new in ways Servamps no longer can. We create from ourselves new life that's never been seen before, and can share with these stagnant beings a little bit of that magic.

For some Servamps like Ildio, humanity is something they never possessed and need to be taught from scratch.

The nature of a Servamp and Eve relationship isn't so onesided, though.

Where the Eve is a grounding force who holds the Servamp's hand and guides them back onto the path when they stray, the Servamp, to the Eve, is another kind of guide. They, being as old as they are, remember the things we forgot or never knew. They've seen our lives play out in different masks, and when their Eve might be making a choice that will have dire consequences, they can tug on their hand and say "Please trust me. That's bad for you"

Kuro, of course, does this for Mahiru during their adventure in London, helping him to prioritize himself over the world, and ultimately getting to the bottom of why Mahiru is the way he is, and sharing back a little tiny piece of the hope Mahiru gave him in that moment, too.

I've said it before but I really want to emphasize that the contract between Servamp and Eve is a perfect illustration of the ideal of marriage (minus the dying if you spend 24hrs apart)

Sickness and health, richer or poorer, til death do them part, and with death, the person the Servamp was dies with their Eve.

And they start learning to be human all over again.

[lillianofliterature]

Hi there! This isn’t a request, but I just couldn’t help myself. I read through your Aragorn x reader LOTR fic a moment ago and I was so amazed by your work that I felt the need to tell you. I really enjoyed them and your way of writing, someday I hope I can bring scenes to life that well too. In light of that, I do have a question: how do you write such well detailed scenes about the landscapes? And do you come up with a detailed plan before you start writing?

Hello there, anon! First of all, thank you from the very depths of my heart for this message! Encouragement like this is truly what reassures me to keep up with writing drafts, ideas, and anything my mind comes up with, despite my doubt and personal struggles this past year (or few years, tbh).

Also, this is 2.5K of advice, so please excuse typos and errors, my computer is only half working and keeps kicking me off of the screens and erasing half of my post. This is my third attempt. xD

To answer your questions, I think my best advice is something I learned back in my English Literature and Creative Writing classes. While I'm a firm believer that one does not need extensive education or expensive courses to become a writer, there are some things I learned in those school years that helped me shape my own style of writing. It was a stray sentence or two between lessons that my teacher had shared, I'm not sure from who or where, but it was something about how engaging the senses is what really brings a story to life. It isn't about fancy vocabulary or long words, but bringing the basic human extinct to your writing that makes it enthralling.

For example, I draw my descriptions of forests, foods, feelings, etc., from things I have experienced in my own life. We all remember specific things from places we've been or people we meet, like how many of us remember the scent of our grandfather's waistcoats and the rare crisp taste of water at 3 AM when we wake up with an unquenched thirst. It's memories and details like those that I try to make a focal point in my stories. I ask myself, what do I want to highlight in this scene? What do I remember most from the last time I hiked through a forest or stalked the aisles of a bookshop?

It's never what's happening there or the faces of people around me or what I was thinking or worrying about, or what was happening in the world at the time; it's always the texture of something I touched, the scent of something wafting by me, the taste of the air or the food on my tongue, the sound of the atmosphere around me. In that café downtown, it was a child's laughter somewhere in the distance that made me wonder if their home life was happy and the hum of conversation around me by people I'd never meet. When I went for a walk on an old dirt road some time ago, I remember the crush of gravel underneath my heel, not what I was thinking about or the houses I passed by. When I change my clothes during a panic attack, I remember the itchy feeling of the tag under my sweatshirt that nags me until I rip it out.

Our senses are what trigger memories and associations, so it must be the same with writing. I drawback on my own experiences with my senses in order to incorporate them into the world of my stories. If I'm unsure of something, I do my research about that thing or place until I can identify something similar in my own experiences to help me explain it to my readers by showing them how it would feel to be there, to eat that thing, to have that specific injury, to smell that dewy forest or hear the loud clanging of battle. I know from personal injuries how a deep gash to the leg feels, so I write that in-depth to help the reader imagine it themselves. How the flesh and its layers resemble the layers of sediment in the earth. I know the scent of rain and pine, so when my characters are in a damp forest, I know there must be a scent lingering enough for them to notice. 

In short, I always try to go through to lists of senses and ask myself how they would work in every setting I write, the first things I would notice about a place or situation if I were in my character’s position, and then how I would react to that information. I know everyone is probably aware of their senses, but having a list of them and why they’re important helps me remember “oh! this will help get across the setting of this scene!” because whether we’re writing or reading, we want to be immersed, we want to partake in it, not merely be observers of this world comprised of words. (Below are some pointers, using Star Wars settings as examples).

SIGHT (what do they see? what draws their attention? bright tapestries hung from the thick wooden beams of a tavern in Mos Eisley or the particles of dust lingering in the shafts of light because the desert air of Tatooine is so still?)

SMELL (what are they smelling? what are their noses telling them? is there a wafting scent of charred coal or wood, evidence of a fire or food being cooked, or is that burning smell coming from the barrel of a blaster? is there the stark stench of spirits in the cantina, overpowering the muted spices in the food?)

SOUND (what are they hearing? what warnings or protocols or demeanors are they following due to sounds or vibrations around them? is the ship they’re stowing away in blaring with alarms due to their presence or is it humming softy as the engine shreds through space matter? is the forest too quiet or too loud? what noises should be heard in a forest? are the voices of the crowds around them friendly and excited as they engage in conversation with companions or are they loud and curt and ready for a bar fight?)

TASTE (what are they tasting? what can the taste buds tell us about the environment? can they taste the blood in their mouth after having been slammed in the cheek with brunt force or is it the blood of broken a tooth? is there a distinct chemical flavor to the air of the factory they invaded, perhaps from a chemical spill? is the air so sweet and heavy in the bakery that they can taste the desserts and breads?)

TOUCH (what are they feeling around them physically? what is the texture of the environment around them? is there a cool metallic sensation to the beskar armor that Din Djarin wears? is the fabric of Obi-Wan’s old robe so worn down that it’s become soft rather than rough wool? is the moss under Grogu’s bare feet damp from the forest mud or dry from a drought? this sense especially helps make the written world more 3D and tangible to readers, it makes us feel like we’re a part of the experience.)

These questions are always relevant to every scenario and story and are especially important for characters or readers who are disabled/non-abled. These senses, if of lesser quality to the character, are shifted in use and importance as they adapt to their condition. If the character is deaf, then they live by sight and vibration, by textures and instinct, by flavor and smell. If a character is paralyzed, they forgo the sensation of touch where the damage is present and rely on sound, sight, scent, and taste. If a character is blind, they live by sound and proximity, by the feel of the world around them, etc. 

Basically, the five senses make up the world around us. It’s the baseline of how we interpret everything, so it’s equally the baseline in storytelling. However, it’s important to not only set the scene in all its senses and details you deem necessary to share, but it’s important to then react on those senses. What does a burning smell tell us? It can mean a dozen things, equally safe and dangerous. What does a bad taste tell us? Either that food is disgusting or the air here is dangerous. And what do the answers to those questions above tell us about the place they’re at? The journey they’re on? The chapter in the story we’re reading? 

Then, you need to decide what’s in character for them to respond with. If Din Djarin walked into a place that smelled of burnt char, he’d probably be so familiar with the smell a discharged blaster leaves in the nostrils to be able to distinguish what sort of threat it poses-- if it’s the aftermath of a fight or just a cozy fire in some corner of the cantina. Aragorn would be much the same, being well-versed in relying on his senses. He would be able to tell if a forest is eerily quiet or if it’s just close to nightfall when most beasts and fowl bed down. He’d be able to notice immediately if the smell of a fire in the trees was from someone’s doused campfire or a raging wildfire creeping up the side of a mountain in the distance. Details and characterization are a key part of immersion. 

ANYWAY, that was a lot, but I hope it helped! I don’t know if that’s just common knowledge, but that’s just part of my process. More than anything, I like being a part of the story when I read, I don’t like merely observing it. Engaging the audience (and yourself) is reliant upon how much you delve into those sensory details. How much you choose to describe things or in what way is entirely up to you, just as everyone had their preferred style of writing they prefer to read. Not everyone enjoys how Tolkien went on pages and pages of setting a scene and its history and sensory detail before people started talking and swords started swinging, but a lot of people do. Not everyone enjoys simplistic settings and heavy action, but some do. And some audiences like it all. 

What’s important is that you find a way to write that makes you happy to do it and to return to your craft to keep honing it, and your work will find its audience that it suits best. You must be authentic. Tell the stories you wish to read. tell the stories you needed to hear as a child or need now in this moment.

As for my process, it is complete and utter chaos. I should probably have a much better process than I do, but isn’t creativity all about madness and chaos? I really just have ideas that pop into my head at random times (most often when I’m busy doing other things, very not convenient). I have dozens of notebooks, chits, notepads, and files on my laptop and in my phone’s notes app of bits and pieces that don’t quite belong anywhere yet, or are enough of an idea to be their own but not quite enough to be complete yet. For example, I have about ten (yes, ten, I know it’s ridiculous) BIG story ideas that I’m simultaneously mapping out. Is there anything more ADHD than that? But despite that, every idea has its own focus and message, but not all of them make sense yet.

One of my story ideas started out as a simple writing project for therapy to address my child abuse and PTSD, then it turned into this massive Pirates of the Caribbean revenge novel, and now it’s honestly something I’m considering turning into an original novel or even a webcomic. See? Chaos. I have no idea what I'm doing, but at least I'm always thinking, always trying, always working with it.

Another one of my ideas deals with the struggle of living with a chronic illness/disability in the world of Once Upon A Time (the TV show), and will remain a fanfic, but the reader has since become an original character.

Do I know if people will care to read these? Am I completely sure there’s an audience ready to accept my original characters thrust into worlds they already love and cherish? No, but that’s not the point. The point is that these ideas in my head go somewhere, that they are molded into something I myself have enjoyed creating. I know that’s more about motivation than process, but my process, simply put, feels pretty nonexistent. I flit from one thing to another without much of a timeline of principles or tasks.

Basically, I get an idea (whether a bit of dialogue or a setting or a scene or how to word something) and I scribble it down. It sits and tumbles around in my mind as I work on other existing stories. Sometimes those little ideas fit with existing stories and it’s like a huge plot hole is filled or a subplot introduced. When I actually sit down to write, my first priority is to engage myself in the act of writing. I begin by drawing myself into the story, with one of those five senses, then I try to set the scene like a set designer for a film (except with words).

And sometimes, it’s like pulling teeth. A few months back, I knew I wanted to write a story for the show Once Upon A Time, I knew I wanted the love interest to be Rumplestiltskin, I knew I wanted the existing Belle character to be a first love instead of a true love sort of scenario (and my character, reader or OC, would be the true love, the endgame). That was it. I really had nothing except a fairytale I wanted to tie my character into and I wanted to deal with the trauma I suffered from my neglectful father and abusive stepmother paired with trying to accept and cope with my disabilities. Over the course of a couple months, just scribbling nonsensical things down, some of which stayed and some of which didn’t, I now have an entire set of events and a solid plot and storyline to go with.

My biggest suggestion is to go on a word doc or google doc, whatever you use, and make a spreadsheet. I added a table comprised columns and numerous rows, each row for a chapter. Then, I wrote down a very vague procession of events. It’s still rough and I’m still changing things around, with all of my stories, but that’s just how it works. There are also questionnaires online that give you prompts and questions to help fill in details about your character and their story.

Think of yourself as a sculptor and an interpreter. You have these images in your mind, these places and people and events that must take places, colors and sounds and textures in your mind that you want others to see and experience. As writers, we literally take images in our head and translate them into words, words that will then mold an image (like a sculpture) into someone else’s mind and imagination. We get an invitation to mold their thoughts as they read our work. And it gets to be however you want it to be--but we must chisel and sculpt that image in order for it to be interpreted the way we want it to be. That’s how all those senses come in, how all the details and settings find their place. Or at least, that’s how I see it.

Okay, I know that was a long slew of information, much of it probably repeated, but it’s as necessary to share to answer your questions just as my writing process needs messiness in order to work for me. I hope this helped you!

Blessings and best wishes, anon!

Xx Lillian

[clearskiess]

Courting. Union. Separation.

Things are hard right now. And there are days where words fail to describe the emotional turmoil that churns in my mind. As I stand in the empty house that once represented the beginning of a brand new chapter, my typing echoes through its empty rooms.

Despite how challenging things are, I don't spend my days weeping like I thought I would. Sure, there are some days where the smallest object reminds me of him and my eyes tear and I reminisce about days in our past and sweet memories, but I can't say I have this strong desire for us to be together again. And suddenly I think about some of the biggest heart breaks I've written about here in the past and realize that maybe it was all meant to be in my life. Because of those disastrous heart breaks, I know how to take care of myself. Learning how to grow up as an only child, I've learned how to be prepared to survive and live with or without anyone.

What pains me the most isn't the fact that we're separating. What pains me the most is the way the person I thought was the love of my life has reacted. And as we continue down the path to reach our end, I realize more and more how over the years, I've bent myself towards him to make things work. I embodied the philosophy of "If you love someone, you love them for everything they are. Both their strengths and their flaws."

But darlings, I'm here to tell you that in life you have to find a balance. By embodying this philosophy, I've spent so many years making up excuses and suppressing things that I thought I desired. Until all that was left was a tiny little woman who didn't think she could deserve much more than what she had in the world.

I'm so thankful for my beloved friends over the last six months as they weathered and continue to weather this stormy stage of my life with me. Never did I imagine (and I'm sure no one imagines this) to be a soon to be divorcée before 30. This was the 30 under 30 list that I did not want to be on. But to have good people in your life lifting you is a blessing.

As I find my way back into my SoCal where I was born and raised, I sometimes chuckle when I think about a story an old friend once wrote about called '10 years later'. It's been so long that I can't remember all of the plot, but I find it funny that 10 years later, here I am, about to move back into LA and rebuild my life.

Some of my days are filled with questions. I ask myself things like: Where do I begin? How do you start over? Is this really my life now? When does it stop hurting? Am I going to cry between these two Zoom calls I have today? What comes next?

In the grand scheme of things, I've come to realize that none of these questions really matter.

Where do I begin?

I've already started.

How do you start over?

You just keep going.

Is this really my life now?

This is, and always has been, my life. My path to walk. My shoes to wear.

When does it stop hurting?

I've learned this lesson before: time.

Am I going to cry between these two Zoom calls today?

Maybe. And that's okay.

What comes next?

Let's find out.

And on my best things, I can even feel a little bit of gratitude to the journey that he and I have had together. To be able to spend 10 years with someone is not easy. To be able to live through all these different stages of a relationship is even more challenging. And although in this moment, we're both not okay, I know we've said it to each other before that in time, we will both be stronger for whatever this stage of life is doing for us.

And should I forget these positive outlooks, I hope I come back here to remind myself that without darkness, we wouldn't know light.

[eryiss]

Ship: Freed x Laxus

Rating: Mature [References Bullying and Homophobia]

Prompt: AU Rivalry Teamup

Summary: Sent away to a delinquents academy, Freed knew life wouldn't be easy. That was proven to be the case when he met Laxus, a cocky, aggressive arse who used his fists over his words. At least, that's what he thought when they first met, but things can change over the span of a year.

Notes: This is the sixth submission for Fraxus Week, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus. This one has a brief descrition of bullying and period typical homophobia.

Links: Event Masterlist ||| Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction

The London School for Delinquent Boys

Year 1890

Location: London, England

"We've a new boy in class today," The teacher – Mister Porland, that's what he'd called himself – said as Freed stood before the blackboard. "Freed Justine. I expect you all to behave and not cause any trouble with him."

Freed would have picked another way to be introduced if he'd been granted the choice. He would have much rather not had an introduction at all, and instead he'd slip into the back of the classroom, wave off all the questions that would be aimed at him, and try and get through the first day without any complaints. Instead, he'd been forcibly marched to the front of a class of about thirty sixteen-to-seventeen-year-old boys – all of whom had been taken from regular education and placed in a disciplinary academy – and been served up almost on a silver platter.

He had to wonder if this was a punishment in and of itself. A hazing from the teachers.

It wasn't that he was intimidated by them, of course. He'd earned his place in the school just like them, and he could more than handle himself, but he didn't care for the fuss. This was as close to jail someone of his age and social stature could undergo and, due to an enthusiast habit of reading and a slight flare for the dramatic, he'd decided prison rules might best serve him. Rule number one was to keep your head down.

A few jeers, exclamations and a patronising whistle filled the room, quickly quietened by the teacher. Freed made an effort not to pay attention to it. Animals, all of them. At least he could be safe in the knowledge that he held moral superiority over them, not that he'd state it out loud. Idiots tended not to like being told that.

Keeping his head down would be harder than he thought.

After he was allowed to take his seat, he was forced to walk through the lot of them to the back of the classroom. The jeering continued, albeit quietly, and someone tried to trip him as he walked. He ignored them, and nearly got to his seat when a particular classmate caught his eye. He wore an arrogant sneer, had a scar running down his face, and had shoulders larger and broader than a student their age ought to have.

Freed would have thought the boy attractive were it not for the look of challenge in his eyes, one Freed knew all too well. This boy was testing him, wanting to see if he would be a victim in the school or someone to be respected. To show him, Freed halted his step, made eye contact with the boy for a few moments, and then continued walking to take his seat.

A little 'hm' was the blonde's only response, but Freed paid it no mind.

Two weeks passed before the blonde actual did anything. The two weeks consisted of Freed getting used to his new surroundings, idiots trying and failing to one-up him in the hopes of looking tough in front of their idiot friends, and the blonde's presence being constant but in the distance. That changed when the blonde approached him in the dinner hall.

"Hey," The blonde grunted in greeting, storming towards Freed. His body was tense, coiled up and ready for a fight. "You think you're better than me or something?"

Freed didn't know why the blonde thought that, exactly, but his response was instant. "Better than you, yes."

He felt that was a fair way to think. The blonde had proven himself to be nothing of note intellectually, he barely spoke in lessons and when he did it was usually to make an unwarranted joke or to get an answer wrong, and he seemed quick to anger. More than once, he'd lurched at another student, looking ready for a fight he'd probably win. The fights never happened exactly, but they seemed like a constant risk. So yes, Freed did think he was better than him.

"This whole thing might 'a worked out in yer old school," The blonde growled, taking another step forward. Freed didn't flinch. "But actin' like yer hot shit and that yer smarter than everyone here ain't working. You're here like the rest of us, and you ain't better just because your pa's got money."

"I don't think I'm better than everyone here," Freed retorted, also taking a step forward. "But I am better than an idiot who can't shut up and takes his hobby by rolling around in the mud, somewhat like a little pig. My betterment was never in question."

The insult wasn't his best. The reference to the blonde's position in the rugby team tenuous at best, and Freed's supposed superiority complex might have shone through – but it annoyed the blonde, so it served its purpose.

He would have rather not been shoved in the chest, though.

Stumbling back slightly, Freed made a choice. He had been told in no uncertain terms that he wasn't to get into another fight, it was partially the reason he was there in the first place, but the blonde deserved a punching. He seemed to be something of an unofficial head-boy, and the fear of him was obvious to anyone who would look, and as such Freed felt a punch to the face was long overdue. He was a student like anyone else, and while others might want to lie down and take it, Freed didn't.

That was why he punched him. It hurt more than he thought it would.

Their fight was hardly that. It lasted less than a minute, and anger overpowered its elegance. Freed perhaps got another two punches in, and received one in return. Teachers were storming over the moment it started, and were dragging them away before it could get out of hand, but Freed felt good to hit the bastard.

"Laxus Dreyar, Freed Justine," Their head teacher yelled, voice filled with a rage that Freed felt was slightly exaggerated given the situation. "My office, now."

As Freed was dragged – literally dragged, which again was an overreaction – into the office, he was sure of three things. He'd already completely failed in his goal of not bringing any attention on himself; his father was going to find out and want him thrashed for getting into a fight again; and Laxus Dreyar had perhaps the most interesting name he'd ever heard.

---

"You heard what he did?"

"Nearly killed him."

"Apparently they're gonna kick him out."

"Nah, he's the team captain."

Freed didn't pay attention to the conversations happening around him as he ate. After three months of being in the academy, he'd learned it was best not to. Most of the people had nothing of interest to say, and the people who were interesting were the ones likely to try and start a fight with you if they knew you were listening. He'd learned that when a younger boy, Natsu, tried to punch him and Freed had ended up dumping a bowl of cereal over the man's head and temporarily strangling him with his tie. The detentions and lack of breakfasts for a week had been worth it.

In truth, he'd forged a comfortable place for himself in the school. He was known as the boy who gave Dreyar a black eye, and that title came with its perks. Mainly that most people would leave him alone. He and Dreyar had… something. He couldn't tell if it was a truce, or simply a stalemate. But either way, Freed would enjoy the calm and only reignite the fight should Laxus need another punching.

Other than that, Freed was forgettable in the school. People ignored him, he ignored them, and everyone went on as if he hadn't arrived. The school was fine – teachers were far too happy to punish, but that was to be expected – and their lessons were as good as his old schools had been. Had his parents been scammed, the tuition fee had been high?

His parents were an issue. They hadn't visited, but they were in constant communication with the head teacher, and apparently their 'donations' meant Freed was put under a spotlight by the staff. Maybe that was why they were so quick to punish: they were being paid to do so. Annoying, but it could be worse.

The food, however, was abysmal.

Mashed potatoes and sausages would be a good meal, but the potato was half cooked, and the sausages were tiny. He'd eaten as much as he could stomach within a minute, so he absently played with the food with a slight huff. The rain, as tended to happen in England, was heavily pouring and Freed knew the moment a teacher saw he'd stopped eating he would be forced into the yard for recreational activities. The eating hall was at least partially warm, and he had to admit that the conversation behind him was of interest.

"What's that got to do with anything?" One boy shrugged.

"They don't wanna piss off the rugby team, they all worship him," The other explained. "If they kick him out, everyone gets angry about it, and they fight back. They'll never do it."

"You didn't see the kid," The first dismissed. "Half dead. They've gotta do something."

"Doesn't seem like Laxus to just beat a kid up for no reason," The second argued, and Freed did have to agree. Laxus was an argumentative and aggressive man, but he did tend to stick to people his own age. Mainly those who knew how to fight back, as well. "The kid must have pissed him off."

"Romeo, nah," The first laughed, and Freed frowned. "Kid's nothing. Wouldn't bother Laxus."

Romeo. Romeo Conbolt. It took Freed a moment to put a face to the name, and when he did his fork stalled and his body tensed. He had heard the rumours of a kid being beaten half to death, of course he had, but he hadn't heard who it was. He wouldn't have cared, were it not for the fact he had seen days prior the beating Romeo had endured. Laxus hadn't been the one to beat the kid, it had been a group of six of his classmates.

Freed had stopped it, of course. They were all thirteen, he was seventeen and the boy who got into a fight with the school's toughest figure, so they scarpered when he yelled at them to stop. He told the kid to go to the nurse, and saw the issue as finished with.

Had the kid used Laxus as a scapegoat? Or had it been the group of brats?

Either way, Freed was a man of principles. As much as he wouldn't mind seeing the back of Laxus and his insistence of approaching problems with his fists, it wasn't fair to have him blamed for something he hadn't done. Especially when a grown man beating a kid was something that could get him taken from the school and placed into an actual jail. That wasn't fair. He stood, and quickly started to walk towards the head teacher's office.

"Enter," The headmaster, Mister Fernandes, said once Freed had knocked on the door. Freed entered, and waited in silence. "Mister Justine. It's rare you're here voluntarily."

"I suppose so, sir," Freed agreed, ignoring the insult. "Sir, I have a complaint to make."

"Of course you do," Mister Fernandes sighed, removing a pair of spectacles, and leaning forward in his chair. "You do know that this is a disciplinary institution, and I don't act on the word of my students. If you have issues with your treatment then it's not my concern."

"I understand that sir," Freed assured him. "But my complaint is more about the treatment of another student: Laxus Dreyar."

"You needn't worry about that," Mister Fernandes dismissed the complaint, despite the fact Freed had yet to make it yet. "I know that you and he have something of a… personal vendetta against one another, and I'm sure that the rumours about what he has done have reached you. I will be following a strict set of procedures which will likely end up with him incarcerated for what he did to a younger boy. He'll be out of your hair soon, so don't concern yourself about it."

"That is not my complaint."

"If this is something to do with your silly feud then I'm really not interested by it," Mister Fernandes sighed. "As I said, he'll most likely be out of here within the month. If you can't be civil for that long then that's a bad reflection on your own character. And boys your age really should be fighting their own battles."

Freed bit back a retort, wanting to point out that the time he did try to fight his own battle he was dragged away and reprimanded. Instead, he calmed himself and spoke again with the level of respect a teacher believed they deserved.

"Laxus wasn't the person who attacked Romeo, sir," He said, and the headteacher paused. "It was a group of his classmates. Six of them, I believe."

"And you know this how?" Mister Fernandes asked.

"I walked in on them doing it, sir," Freed admitted, not flinching when the teacher looked at him with sharpened poise. "They stopped when I approached, Romeo went to the nurse's office and I expected him to tell you who actually was responsible, rather than placing the blame on Laxus. Had I known earlier what he'd done, I would have spoken to you sooner."

Mister Fernandes took a moment, thinking before sighing. "He did, actually. He gave me a list of names, before returning a day later stating that it was actually Laxus to blame, and that he'd lied initially as he was worried about the consequences."

"And you believed him?" Freed asked before he could stop himself.

"Are you questioning me, Justine?"

"No, sir."

He was.

"You're dismissed, Justine. Thank you for speaking with me," Mister Fernandes waved a hand in his direction, and Freed nodded curtly and went to walk away. "It was big of you to do this, Justine. Well done."

"It's what's expected of me, sir," Freed dismissed.

"Good man," Mister Fernandes nodded, before waving Freed off again.

Freed left, closing the door behind him. He immediately turned to the right and started walking towards the courtyard, which was still being battered by the heavy rain. As he walked, he was completely unaware that Laxus was leaning on the wall outside of the office, looking at Freed with an expression of mingled bewilderment, disbelief, and belligerent respect.

---

The idiom that the enemy of one's enemy was one's friend was a complicated one. It was limited, didn't work for all situations, and seemed to fall apart under any scrutiny. Freed had long since decided that it didn't make much sense when thought about, and yet he found himself subscribing to the idea when it fitted him.

That was the reason he found himself walking into the rugby team's changing room.

Laxus seemed to notice him approaching the moment Freed walked into the room, and stopped mid-way through changing into his kit to stare Freed down. Freed wasn't put off by the intense and lingering gaze of the man, walking towards him without hesitation. The room seemed to quieten around him, and Freed couldn't be sure if it was because of his presence in the room or because Laxus apparently changed in the back corner away from most of his team. That worked well for what Freed wanted, at least.

"The hell are you doin' here?" Laxus said, voice growly and angry sounding. He always sounded like that with Freed, but it seemed more intense today. Perhaps this how he acted before a match.

"I have a favour to ask of you," Freed stated.

"No," Laxus rebutted immediately.

"You might enjoy doing it."

"Wouldn't be a favour, it'd be an opportunity," Laxus smirked, seemingly proud of himself. Freed had to give him credit, it was somewhat clever. "So, what's the great and powerful Freed Justine need from a man like me? Lessons on how to be an idiot; that's what you keep calling me. Or is it a few tips on rolling around in the mud? Y'know, because that's all rugby is, right."

"The captain of the team you're playing," Freed began, rather than rising to the bait. "Hurt him for me."

"What?" Laxus asked, a laugh tainting the word.

"Hurt him," Freed repeated. "Kick him, punch him, give him a concussion if you're able to. Or perhaps accidentally kick him in the balls, that'd be rather nice to watch. Just do whatever you can to make him cry."

"Why?" Laxus grinned, clearly enjoying this.

"You're playing my old school's team, and he's the reason I got sent here in the first place," Freed admitted, ignoring the quirked eyebrow he got. "He deserves more pain than he gets, I suspect. I want you to remedy that."

"And why should I?" Laxus said, voice a little taunting as he continued to change into his rugby kit. Freed forced himself to ignore the strong body that was revealed to him when Laxus removed his shirt. "We ain't exactly friends, are we? Maybe I'd have more in common with him than I do with you."

"Do you need an excuse to hurt someone?" Freed asked, and Laxus held his gaze. Freed eventually relented. "I can tell you the team's weaknesses. The coach wont change tactics and so they can be exploited."

Laxus thought for a moment. "Nah, you don't need to. I'll do it."

"You will?" Freed asked. He… honestly hadn't expected that.

"Yeah," Laxus nodded. "So long as you watch. If I'm gonna put on a show, I wanna know I'm gonna have an audience."

Laxus pulled on his shirt, much to Freed's quiet disappointment, and sat on the bench before his locker. He leant against it and looked at Freed expectantly, who was looking back with confusion and disbelief. His arrival in the changing room was stupid at best – he'd seen the man who had gotten him there in the first place and old resentment bubbled up faster than Freed would have liked – and as such he had thought Laxus would dismiss him. It's what Freed would have done were the situation flipped.

"Why?" Freed asked.

"This place is shit, anyone would wanna punch the guy who put 'em here. I don't get to do it, but it'll be fun to do it to some other guy," Laxus shrugged, standing up and cracking his back when the coach called for the team to leave for their warmups. He stepped past Freed, but halted once they were all alone. "Be there, pretty-boy."

"What?" Freed stammered slightly. Had Laxus just…

"You think I don't know the reason you're here?" Laxus chuckled a little, but it lacked the edge it normally did. He lowered his eyes slightly and spoke softer than Freed was used to. "You two get caught? Or did he catch you with some other guy and squealed on ya?"

Freed shouldn't answer. He and Laxus weren't friends and admitting anything to him was stupid, but he found himself whispering, "The latter."

"Fucker," Laxus growled, equally quietly. Freed didn't know what to think of it. "Yer right, he needs a kick in the balls. I'll handle it."

"Thank you," Freed whispered.

"Don't worry about it," Laxus dismissed. "Besides, I guess I kinda owe you for stopping me from getting expelled, don't I?" Freed frowned a little. That had been half a year ago, and he didn't know that Laxus even knew of it. Laxus didn't seem to notice Freed's change in body language and continued talking with a smirk. "And, you never know, having a pretty little rich boy watching me might make me play better."

That was all Laxus said before slowly dragging a knuckle over Freed's cheek in a gesture so light but so intimate that Freed felt a shiver run over him completely. Laxus grinned at him, pushed his knuckle against Freed's lips for a split second, before leaving Freed alone in the locker room, heart racing and eyes wide.

---

"How did you know?"

"How'd I know what?"

"The real reason I'm here."

Both Freed and Laxus were sitting on the school house's roof. Laxus had been taking a drag of his cigarette when Freed had approached him and sat bedside him, and the blonde absently offered Freed one. He didn't take it, and for a few moments they had been sitting in silence before Freed had broken it.

It was the last day of the school year. Freed would be dragged back to his home, where his parents would no doubt have a list of grievances about his behaviour throughout the year. His father would make threats about how if his behaviour didn't improve immediately, he would be punished off the back of the man's belt. Nothing would come of it, of course – the elder Mister Justine stopped punishing Freed that way the moment Freed was of an age where he could fight back – but the yelling would be near consistent. It always was when Freed met with his parents now.

He wasn't going to complain. There was no point. Instead, he was going to tie off the loose ends of his school life, particularly with Laxus. Because, when it came to the beautifully, and now somewhat flirtatious man, Freed really didn't know where he stood.

"It's obvious, when you've been here for long enough," Laxus explained, puffing out a stream of smoke. "Yer not obvious, I don't mean that, but when you've been here for years you look out for the signs."

"And what were the signs?"

"You never spoke about why you're here other than saying you got into a fight. I'm guessing it was with the guy who told on ya," Laxus shrugged a little, shifting slightly so that his side was pressed against Freed. "Everyone here wears their story like a badge of honour. Getting into fights, beating kids up, stealing from places. They're all good stories and get's you a lot of credit in a place like this. The worse you were, the more respect you get," Laxus chuckled. "There's only one thing that gets you in here that you don't talk about. Yer queer, and you get found out."

"You don't talk about why you're here," Freed pointed out, and Laxus turned to look at him with a lazy smirk.

"My dad saw me with the neighbour kid," He laughed. "He wasn't even good looking, felt sorry for him really and wanted to know what it's like to kiss a guy. But dad walked in, threw a fit, and I've been here since I was thirteen."

"That's awful of him."

"Maybe, but this place ain't so bad once you get used to it," Laxus shrugged again, leaning back against the wall he was resting on. "Kinda funny, really. I'd say about a quarter of the guys are here for the same reason we are. If you know what to look out for, you can have a pretty good time."

"You could have told me," Freed laughed a little. "I've been rather bored."

"If I told ya, I wouldn't have you all to myself," Laxus grinned, and blew a puff of smoke directly into Freed's face. Freed simply quirked an eyebrow. "I've been spending the last couple of weeks showin' off to ya on the field and I think it was working pretty well. Hardly fair on me if I got you all excited only for ya to use it on some other guy."

"You're a manipulative man when you want to be, Laxus," Freed smirked, leaning just a little closer to Laxus. "But you haven't done anything yet, have you?"

"Maybe I want ya to be desperate for me," Laxus whispered, voice low and rumbling. "Maybe I'm waiting for you to make the move on me."

"If that's true, then maybe you've waited long enough."

They were close now, and Freed wanted to be closer. Laxus' hand was resting against his thigh, and Freed leant further in. He could smell the smoke on Laxus breath, see the slight dilation of the man's eyes as he grinned, and slowly brought their lips together in a slow, tentative kiss.

His first kiss. A beautifully electric, smoky kiss that set Freed's very soul on fire.

He tangled his hand into Laxus' short hair, tugging at it slightly and relishing the slight groan that he was given in return. Laxus pushed into him further, and Freed practically melted.

Eventually, when a harsh gust of wind flew over them and shook them from the spell of their kiss, they pulled apart. They were quiet for a moment, the gravity of what happened only just hitting Freed. He had just kissed the brutish, angry, brilliant man he had once expected to hate, and had felt more alive than ever before.

"You better be here next year."

"Nothing could stop me."

"That's right, pretty-boy."

They shared a smirk, and leant forward to reignite another perfect kiss.