#its been a while since i properly cried about media like this

[scruncheduppaper]

just finished madoka magica after going into it basically blind

[the-otome-freak]

Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly Review!!

This is my first ever official, extensive otome review!! I hope y'all enjoy, I went through so many ups and downs with this game. I hope this review inspires more people to get the game, or maybe even helps people realize it might not be for them! I also attempted to keep it as spoiler-free as possible, but there are parts that might dive into spoiler territory. I made sure to mention it, if so! Enjoy~ . . . .

Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly is a visual novel developed by Otomate and published by Idea Factory in 2015, available on the PS Vita and Steam. It’s an extremely dark, gothic story with very heavy themes and romance akin to Shakespearian tragedy. When I first picked up this game, I had been previously warned about the angst it contained but nothing prepared me for what I was about to experience. This game contains themes of death, guilt, regret, grief, trauma, isolation, and more. The last time I cried so much consuming a piece of media was when I watched Les Misérables for the first time when I was 15, so that says a lot. POTBB has an iffy system, but this is easily overshadowed by the incredible storyline, jaw dropping art, compelling cast, and beautiful soundtrack.  

Before we get into plot points and character routes, I’d like to talk about POTBB’s system. It’s a typical visual novel at first glance, which means mostly just clicking in order to read the text and watching the events unfold. The features that set it apart however were quite interesting- and frankly quite frustrating as well. This includes its combat system and its flowchart.

POTBB has a combat system that pops up a couple times throughout the story while you’re fighting monsters. The instructions for the combat system were very vague and confusing, especially since I played on PC where the button configurations aren’t clarified in the “Options” menu, so it was a lot of trial and error. It instructs you to shoot your gun, but not how (on PC). I had to figure out on my own that I had to use the left and right click of my mouse to shoot/lock onto targets, so the first couple of plays I was very confused and frustrated. The object of the game is to shoot as many butterflies as possible in the allotted time while also getting a good score, which is achieved by getting combos. Playing the game earns you points. Another problem is that it’s quite glitchy and hard to lock onto the butterflies properly to shoot them, but with practice you can improve (with the sacrifice of a couple of hand cramps). 

The other unique thing about POTBB’s system is its flowchart, which is useful because it allows you to jump to any point in the story you’ve already unlocked, but it can be very frustrating sometimes. You’re required to use the flowchart in order to access the “Side Stories,” aka extra content you slowly unlock as you play. To access the flowchart, you have to go to the menu. The game doesn’t notify you when you’ve unlocked a Side Story, so you just have to remember to check the flowchart every once in a while to see if any have unlocked. And even if a Side Story is ��unlocked”, you still have to spend your points you earned in the minigame to actually view the content. Certain character routes, endings, and choices can’t be unlocked unless you’ve viewed these Side Stories. I actually got stuck a few times during my playthrough because I didn’t realize some of the Side Stories were unlocked, and you need to read them to progress. I found that the process of scrolling through the flowchart in the middle of the story often took away from the immersion, but it wasn’t awful. 

On a positive note, I have to talk about POTBB’s art, which was created by Satoru Yuiga. Yuiga has an expressive, sort of water-color art style that adds to the spiritual and mystic elements of the game. I actually didn’t like the style at first; I thought some of the character sprites looked strange, but I quickly got used to it and was soon blown away. The CGs were gorgeous and added so much life to the characters. The facial expressions were so vivid, they displayed perfect depictions of terror, shock, love… I felt every emotion through the art. I’m looking forward to playing more of Yuiga’s games just because of her art. (Images below are promotional CGs)

Now, let's talk plot! (I summarize the Common Route in this section, so feel free to skip if you consider that spoilers!) The story and characters are the best thing about this game, in my opinion. You play as a girl named Beniyuri who has just woken up in a strange mansion with no memory of her past or even herself. You see the world through Beni’s eyes as she traverses the mansion and tries to figure out what’s going on and why she’s there. The mansion is dark, gothic, and scary. Its halls seem endless, every window and door is locked, and mysterious butterflies can be seen practically everywhere. And just when things seem their darkest, Beni hears the loud roar of a beast. Two large lion-like creatures appear and attempt to attack her. Imagine if a Minotaur had a lion’s head; that’s what they look like. She thinks she’s a goner, but suddenly she’s saved by a mysterious man with dark hair and purple eyes. They hide from the monsters together, and Beni learns that this man also doesn’t have any memories. They team up and explore, eventually coming across 3 other men in the mansion who also have amnesia. The four of them find a large hall within the mansion to make their ‘base’ where they’ll be safe from the monsters. They realize that they all have phones on them, and though there isn’t any service, each of them has received one message. “Collect the shards. Complete the kaleidoscope.” They’re in this mansion for a reason, and clearly someone is pulling the strings.

I can’t go into too much detail about the individual routes because the amount of plot twists and spoilers in this game are insane. I will describe each guy and a summary of what their route meant for me and how it made me feel. Some of the routes were phenomenal in their story writing and character development, others not so much. 

The first route recommended is a man named Kagiha, the 2nd person that Beni meets in the mansion, and I have complex feelings about his route. He’s a tall, soft spoken, polite man with light brown hair and green eyes. He’s very kindhearted and treats Beni with a lot of care, cheering her up when she’s depressed about their situation. Kagiha was my favorite in the beginning simply due to how kind he was. All of them were in a very depressing situation with no memories and barely any hope, so his kindness was a sort of light in that darkness. I was very excited for his route and to learn his backstory. It turns out, his route is a branch of the “Best Ending” of the game, so you get to learn the truth about almost everything as you play through his route. I certainly wasn’t expecting this. I had been warned in the past about POTBB’s bittersweet endings, but I really wasn’t prepared like I thought I was. Due to Kagiha’s circumstances (that I can’t go into detail about), his route has two endings, and neither of them are “happy” in regard to his relationship with Beni. The “Best Ending” of the game does indeed end on a happy note, but they don’t end up happy together (again due to circumstances I can’t talk about without spoiling). The “Kagiha Ending” of the game does have them end up together romantically, but with very bittersweet conditions that’s more depressing than the alternative, in my opinion. I was very upset and I cried at both endings, regretting that I loved Kagiha so much because neither ending let him and Beni be truly happy together. But even though I was upset, I have to admit that the “Best Ending” was written phenomenally and deals with the concept of death, grieving, acceptance, and change in a beautiful way. The themes in this game are very heavy but discuss them in a beautiful, important way that really gets your brain going. I sat in silence for a while after the “Best Ending” just… thinking. 

After that emotional wreck, I was ready for a happy ending or at least some more closure. Hikage’s route is recommended after Kagiha, which surprised me a bit. Based off of the cover art and his introduction, he seemed to be the “poster boy.” Hikage is the first man Beni meets in the mansion, the man who saved her from the monsters. I can barely describe his route without getting into spoilers, but it was intense. I didn’t like Hikage at first because he had this misogynistic mindset and constantly scolded Beni for being “weak, just like all women” and yelled at her for “slowing them down.” I wasn’t excited for his route because obviously it meant Beni would get more of this treatment, but I was honestly surprised at what his route had in store. There’s a major plot twist within the route and you come to understand why Hikage has this mindset, and that it doesn’t come from a place of misogyny, but rather trauma. The ending to his route shocked me so much and I bawled my eyes out. It definitely ends on a bittersweet note as well, but the very last scene offers some sort of closure (though not enough, in my opinion.) I overall liked his route plot-wise and thought it was also very thought provoking, tackling themes of abuse, death, mental instability, and despair. Romantically it was okay, but I felt like it took a side-seat to the plot which can either be good or bad, depending on how much you value romance and/or get attached to the characters. Without spoiling, I can tell you that Hikage is written in a way where it makes sense that romance isn’t the focus. Thankfully I wasn’t attached to Hikage as much as Kagiha, but I still cried a river anyway…

You’d think after two routes with horrifically bittersweet endings that the whole game will probably be this way, but surprisingly, the third route in POTBB filled my heart with joy. This route centered around Yamato, who’s a short-tempered, sporty guy with ice-blue hair. He has a bit of a foul mouth, often yelling or getting angry at their situation, but never in an irrational way. Yamato actually ended up being my favorite character overall. He has an unexpected soft side and his romance with Beni was the most realistic among the cast. I also felt his route was quite tragic, despite having the happiest romantic ending in the game. Yamato and Beni’s relationship is really complex, and they actually bond over grief and guilt. Both of them harbor so much guilt in their hearts and it shackles the both of them to their pasts, but by grieving together and finding strength in one another, they’re able to push each other to move on and grow. I really enjoyed this route in a moral sense. It teaches you that it’s okay to grieve and that people grieve at different paces, and sometimes it’s okay to bond over said grief. Healing and forgiveness take time, and having someone else there to heal with you can make you both stronger. The themes in his route were so beautiful and even watching his bonds with other members of the cast grow were incredible too. He has the happiest romantic ending in the game as well, which just added to how good it was. Interestingly enough, Yamato’s route also helped me come to terms with the bittersweetness of the previous routes. I was finally able to accept the circumstances and reasonings behind the depressing endings, allowing me to appreciate the game more as a whole.  

After Yamato’s romantic end, I was excited to finish the rest of the game. I prayed that this next route had a happy ending as well, and that Yamato wasn’t just an exception. I began to pursue Monshiro, who’s a mysterious man who wears a fox mask that Beni has spotted wandering the mansion sometimes. I didn’t know what to expect from him during the first bit of the game because he’s sort of absent until the end of the common route. I was pleasantly surprised, though! I learned more and more about him as I played, even in the other routes, and he’s wonderful. He’s adorable, loving, and incredibly sweet. His route tackles themes of isolation and loneliness, with Monshiro being severely traumatized due to being alone in the mansion for several years. He’s very clingy with Beni and values their relationship more than anything, his main fear being him getting left alone again. His ending was quite happy as well, but their romantic development and deep connection never really got the ending it deserved. Their bond was almost as strong as her bond with Yamato, but I feel like in the end they didn’t get to express that to each other properly. It also felt quite short to me, I wish I could have gotten more content with them that wasn’t plot-related and just focused on their bond and how much they care for each other. Overall, I enjoyed it because Monshiro is so loveable, but the ending just left me unsatisfied and begging for more.  

Now, the last route was a doozy. I’d like to clarify before I begin that this is all, of course, my opinion and perspective, so don’t let this discourage you from trying the game or loving this character! I will get into minor spoilers as well here, just because it’s hard to explain my feelings without talking about what happened. The last route I played was Karasuba, who is… not the best. I can confidently say I hate him, and his route didn’t really change that for me. He has bright yellow hair and yellow eyes, so his design was already creepy to me from the start, but his personality is much worse. At first glance he seems like a funny, happy-go-lucky class clown type, but his real personality is much more twisted. He flirts with Beni so intensely to the point of sexual harassment, but then backs off and laughs, pretending it was “just a joke.” Now this is already bad enough, but he’s just incredibly rude to everyone around him as well. He demeans Beni constantly for being “naive” and “cowardly,” all with a smile on his face as he pretends he’s saying it “for her own good.” He also constantly insults the other characters, starting fights with them whenever he can and giggling about it when it’s over. The whole “reason” behind why he acts like this is because he was bullied when he was a child. He projects his insecurities onto others and thus becomes the bully he hated so much when he was younger. He does later apologize for this at the end of his route, but I felt like one sorry just wasn’t enough to atone for the way he treated everyone? He sexually harasses Beni until she starts crying at one point, then backs away and claims it was “just a joke to teach her a lesson at how dangerous men can be.” He’s just awful and I don’t think he develops very much, even in his good ending despite his apology. His bad ending was even worse, which involved him brainwashing and manipulating Beni to be with him. I know some people who enjoyed his route and while I do respect that, it’s just hard for me to understand how someone would enjoy a character like him. I do think he’s interesting because he has deep flaws and trauma and instead of growing from it, he let them taint him and he ended up becoming the very thing he hated. So, he is interesting, but that doesn’t mean he’s a good love interest for Beni or even a good character in general. If I’d have to state one major flaw about this game, it’s Karasuba’s existence and his lack of character development or redemption.

After the 5 character routes are over, you’d assume that’s the end. The game actually continues after this, though, with the “Summer Camp” ending that unlocks last. This was my favorite part of the game. It’s a “What-If” scenario where every single character gets their happy ending, and offers a lot of closure after the despair you experience in the character routes. It healed me and freshened my mind after the tragedy. It’s a wonderful inclusion and I actually cried tears of joy while playing it, due to how emotional it made me. 

Overall, Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly was an emotional rollercoaster that I will never forget. While yes it has its flaws, I don’t regret playing it. The topics covered, such as isolation, death, and guilt, were so heavy and intense; but they were also so meaningful and I feel like everyone should experience them. I feel my favorite theme was the deep dive into Survivor’s Guilt and how people process and deal with it differently. The mystery surrounding the mansion and their circumstances was also very interesting and the plot twists were well executed. The whole cast is so full of life and each of their bonds are extremely complex. Beniyuri is a wonderful main character and I found myself rooting for her and her happiness the entire time. I definitely recommend this game to anyone who loves tragedy and complex plots, but I probably wouldn’t recommend this game to someone who’d be uncomfortable with really dark themes like graphic death. This game definitely took a toll on my mental health for a few days, but also offered life lessons that I’ll no doubt remember and value for a very long time. 

Rating: 7/10!

[tiredassmage]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thank you for the tag @captainderyn!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Possibly a great, great(?) grandmother I never had the chance to meet, via middle name, though it’s been... probably at least a decade since I heard that tatter and I’m not sure how correct it is, lol. I’m... not particularly close to a vast majority of the family, tbh, given Drama(TM). Mom picked by meanings though. I know that was very important to her.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I... think I cried a little about a week and a half ago in one of my classes. Not because the class, I promise, lol. We watched the pilot episode of a show called Station Eleven in class and that was a gut puncher.

3. Do you have kids?

No, thank you. My pets and my OCs are all I need, lol. Very ace. Not my personal cup of tea.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Mmmm. I wouldn’t say regularly. It has its moments and I’m sure I was a bit more brutal with it when I was a kid, but its purpose isn’t generally helpful in areas where I need to communicate. I think most of the things I say sarcastically now are probably in regards to fictional characters. xD

5. Favorite time of day?

Late evening, in that like seven - ten pm range. Generally evenings. I’m absolutely not a morning person. If I’m up rather early, I’m tired later in the day. Evening tends to host “me” time.

6. Eye color?

Good ol’ reliable brown. (I need more brown eyed ocs, tbh?) Fun fact: eyes are kind of what enchants me, irl and I probably tend to be a bit invested in fictional character eye colors, too, lol. They’re beautiful. I have no other explanation. That said, I’m very shy about eye contact until I feel more comfortable with people/get to know them better.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, if I’m picking between them and scary. I don’t do horror, I am baby. I can be enraptured by a decent thriller and loved a good crime drama TV show. I can kind of do paranormal stuff sometimes, but I can scare myself just thinking a little too hard about it, so very hesitant.

8. Any special talents?

Mmmm... nothing nontraditional, I suppose. I had a few music teachers tell me when I was younger that I have hands that would’ve been great for piano, but I wasn’t super interested in pursuing musical interests outside of, like, basic school requirements. I did chorus for a while, but was kinda eh. I did enjoy acoustic guitar, but, again, not exactly enough that I ended up doing anything with it.

9. Where were you born?

Rural northeastern US of A. I miss having a fall season, but decidedly not enough to give up the warmth of living much farther south.

10. What are your hobbies?

Largely video games, lol, if it was hard to tell. I’d like to do more drawing and get into digital art. I am majoring in Digital Media Design, after all. One of my hopes is to properly play around with a tablet I bought myself over the summer while I take a break from courses. I desire to draw my blorbos, haha!

11. Do you have any pets?

Two ball pythons, the loves and amusing occasional nuisances of my life! They made a brief appearance on my main here. There’s also two dogs in the house, James and Cooper. Cooper is definitively my mom’s dog, however, and, jokingly, my little brother. (He’s her favorite. We all know this.) Cooper is... ??? We think a Collie mix. And James is a Basset-Lab, both adopted about a year or two apart, if I remember right.

12. What sports do you/have you played?

Oh, actual eons ago, I briefly played soccer (probably not very well) when I was very, very small. I have ridden horses (I miss them, Brent), but primarily only in schooling shows and I did participate for a few years in my barn’s summer gaming series just at Walk/Trot. I used to ride low-level jumping courses. Competitive sports haven’t ever really been my thing, particularly to participate in. I would’ve called riding one of my hobbies while I did. It’s an expensive one though and a bit of a tricky one to get back into when balancing college and part-time retail work. My mom and I try to stick to our developed tradition of selecting a local trail riding venture to attend every year for my birthday though that keeps that connection outside of whatever I vicariously pick up through games, lol.

13. How tall are you?

5′5ish. A smidgen shy, but that’s what they put on my license.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Histories and sciences. If I wasn’t so averse to writing research papers and math, I have genuinely considered majoring in either area. Unfortunately, my university doesn’t have a program for meteorology (weather and natural events are a somewhat more recent interest of mine) and video games evidently have some staying power as my interests, so that’s how I ended up in DMD.

15. Dream job?

I’m honestly not sure anyone has a really solid answer to this question, lol. I certainly don’t. I... went into DMD partially because it was interesting enough and I genuinely felt college would benefit me somehow. While I like my pet store job, it’s not exactly where I’d like to spend the next twenty years, even if I am a creature of habit that balks at change, lol.

So, theoretically, I’m studying DMD and entertaining the idea of a minor in creative writing because characters have always been one of the most important aspect of games to me. The idea is to maybe pursue a focus on character or scenario writing, but I... really don’t know, lol. I’m still largely clearing prerequisites and other structural graduation requirements, so I haven’t really dug into the focus areas of my degree yet and I definitely still doubt that I know what I’m doing or if it’ll genuinely be something I can pursue.

It’s definitely scary and I absolutely struggle with that uncertainty, but it’s also a process of just trying to remind myself that it’s a skill and therefore it is something I can develop if I put the work in - that’s the whole purpose of taking classes, after all. It’s something I’m trying to be more conscious of because I have found it very easy to slip into the student mindset of doing things just for class, so I’m still not sure what all I have as far as presentable skills or how to showcase them. But that is... off the base question, I suppose, lol.

So, work in progress!

Uhhhhmmm, this one’s sort of a mix idk who to tag for, lol, so I think I’ll leave this one open? Muts/followers, feel free to say you’ve been tagged if you’d like to do this one!

[ggukkiedae]

Can we get a angsts/fluffy Drabble of yoonmi writing deep dark and emotional lyrics and the boys freaking out/ if she’s okay bc of it?

suresies hun! 🥰 here’s a little look at how the boys tend to react when they think yoonmi is spiraling. the song is to my youth by bol4!

warning: mentions of wanting to disappear

It wasn’t long since Yoonmi decided she wanted to put songs on the group’s soundcloud. Sure, she could easily release them to the public since she just debuted as a soloist, but she wanted it to be something only ARMYs knew. Even then, though, there were still some ARMYs look down on her as well, so she was pretty sure one of them or more may leak her songs to the public for haters to see. As much as she hoped that wouldn’t happen, she was mentally preparing for it. They all knew it. The seven boys had already agreed to remind ARMYs to keep it to themselves and not put the song on twitter, youtube, or any other social media.

Jimin was curious. She had been working on a few songs for the past few days even while they were on tour, yet she never let anyone hear them. But, he knew not to press.

He was standing outside her hotel room, and he told himself that all he was there for was to make sure she ate the food he dropped off earlier and went to sleep.

No one answered when he knocked on the door. Taking the spare key he borrowed from Namjoon, Jimin made his way into her room only to find her asleep on top of her covers, notebook open and pencil in hand.

A fond smile made its way onto his face while he picked her up and properly tucked her into bed. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her setup on the table. She must have been working on something. He went to pick up her notebook and pencil to put them away, but the words on the page caught his eye.

At some point in my life, I used to wish that I could disappear from this world

The whole world seemed so dark, I cried every night

Will my mind feel at ease if I just disappeared?

I was so afraid of everyone’s eyes on me

He didn’t mean to see it! Really! But his eyes caught the first line, and Jimin had to make sure he read that correctly.

As he progressed through the lyrics she had written, it felt like a cavity kept growing in his chest. Was this really what went through her mind? He thought they had finally helped her get all those negative feelings out, but did she just keep it to herself?

He frowned. Keeping things to herself to not make the older members worry sounded exactly like something Yoonmi would do. He wouldn’t stand for this, though.

With a troubled heart, he messaged the others.

Yoonmi woke up only to find herself being squished in between Jungkook and, from the perfume she could smell, Yoongi. She blinked herself awake before sitting up only to find all of the boys in her room.

Her sleepiness was gone in an instant. Did something happen? Was there something wrong? Were they in trouble? Worry filled her up until a hand on her shoulder made her jump. It was Yoongi.

“Oppa,” she whispered to not wake anyone else, “what’s going on?”

“Princess, we need to talk.”

She practically deflated upon hearing those words.

“You’re not in trouble,” Yoongi reassured her, “not at all. We just need to talk about something.”

Yoonmi squinted her eyes at him as Yoongi got up to wake everyone else. Her eyes fixed on the desk where her setup was all cleaned up, but her notebook was open. Oh.

Someone sat on the foot of the bed in front of her. “Hey, makdungie.”

Yoonmi turned towards Namjoon hesitantly. “Hi. Is this about my song?”

“A little, yeah,” he gave her a solemn smile, “but more on why didn’t you say anything to us?”

It was then when she felt someone pull her onto their lap. Jungkook. He rested his chin on top of her head before lightly flicking her knee.

“No disappearing. Not on me.”

She patted his hand. “I’m not planning to. It’s just... It’s a fleeting thought. That’s all.”

“If it’s enough to write a song about, then it’s much more than that,” Taehyung noted, Jimin nodding in agreement beside him.

“Princess, have you been reading through hate again?” Seokjin sat next to Namjoon and lightly cradled her face.

Hoseok gave her a stern look. “You know we made the no social media rule for a reason, right?”

“It’s not that, I swear,” she reassured them. “I was just looking through my old diary, and I saw those. I remembered what I felt, and so I wrote about it.”

There was a silence as the members tried to see if she was lying. Yoongi, who sat next to her once again, tightened his grip on her hand.

“You’re sure it isn’t thoughts right now?” Namjoon’s worry was clear in his voice.

“They come still, but it’s all fleeting. Besides, have you should hear what I have for the full song.”

She tried to move to her desk, but Jungkook’s arms tightened around her waist. Hoseok brought her laptop over.

“I haven’t written it down or recorded it yet,” she began as she looked through her files, “but here’s what the bridge is going to be.”

She took a deep breath and pressed play before singing along to her instrumental.

“But still, maybe I can be a bright light in this world. Maybe after all of that pain I can shortly shine a light. So I couldn’t give up. I couldn’t fall asleep peacefully for a single night because maybe if I keep trying to get up like this, I will find myself.”

She pressed pause again and looked at her members while tugging on the ends of her hair. She stopped chewing at her bottom lip enough to ask them how it was.

Yoongi pressed a kiss to her forehead while Namjoon smiled at her. “I’m proud of you, Princess.”

“You’re already a light to us.”

It was like Seokjin’s words pulled everyone out of their own thoughts. She found herself in the middle of a group hug. She laughed a little.

“I hope you guys didn’t get too worried.”

“Promise me you’ll come to us if these thoughts come to mind again?” Jimin hooked his pinky onto hers.

“I promise.”

[strangeinternetwasteland]

Finding Home- Dabi x Fem! Reader

This is my submission for Day 6 Places of @konoblog-simps server collab

Warning: Angst, Lots of Fluff, Soft Dabi

WC:2k

Leaving everything behind was the best decision he’d ever made. He was finally free, especially after emptying the bank account his father had for him. Nothing was holding him back. The few days after the big fight the anger was still there. It didn’t come to any physical blow but felt as if there had been. There was no looking back now, he will no longer be the unwanted son. He could change his name, his personality, and his whole story. He could be the person he truly wanted to be.

His first destination was the small city of Takayama in the Gifu Prefecture. The city always held a special appeal to him since it was known for the olden style of Japanese Culture. Something he’d always been interested in since a young boy. He stayed at the Hida Takayama Hostel for a few days. On the last night, he decided to stay at the Takayama Ouan with its breathtaking view of the city. It was here where the two of you met. Both of you spent your time talking about your future dreams and plans, and just enjoyed one another’s company.

The next morning he was planning on moving to a small picturesque town in the southern islands of Japan. ‘It was the perfect beginning to his new life.’ he told you. You decided to join him before continuing your next adventure. Here, the two of you spent two days watching the perfect sunsets the beach was named after. Most people didn’t pay any attention to you both assuming you were lovers lost in the moment.

You two exchanged numbers, in case your paths were fated to cross again. He left for Singapore, and you to South Korea. The few days spent with you left a wonderful impression on Dabi. The following days since Japan Dabi couldn’t stop thinking of you. The way your face lit up when talking about something you were passionate about, or the way you giggled when you were excited. It was those honest and earnest emotions from you he truly enjoyed. The memories helped him on the long and tedious train ride from Singapore through Malaysia. He got off a few times to get food or walk around.

Every stop he thought of calling or texting but restrained himself from doing so. He didn’t want to seem needy or clingy. A week later, when he was staying at a little hostel in Kluang in Malaysia, sipping on the most delectable cup of coffee when his phone chimed from you. You had sent greetings and wished him well. You had traveled through Russian and sent pictures of yourself at the Kremlin. How happy you looked in your picture. He wished he would’ve just joined you at that moment. He sent back well wishes and shared that he was currently enjoying a cup of coffee, with the promise to be the first one to text next time.

As the world trek continued for him, he found himself wandering through China trying all the delicacies he had heard about as he traveled. He spent a few days looking at the pandas, walked along the Silk Road, and saw the Terracotta Army before making his way through Mongolia, and taking in the breathtaking scenery of the grasslands. From Mongolia, he headed to Russia.

When he arrived at the Kremlin in Moscow, he stood exactly where you did, and snapped an identical picture to yours. He texted it to you as soon as he took it. He wore a small smile. You had texted him you were enjoying the beautiful colors of the Grecian seas, and how delectable the food was. He promised to visit Greece as soon as he could but had wanted to visit Mumbai, India first. You smiled knowing that you weren’t truly on this trek alone.

A few weeks had passed after the last text. You decided to text him to check on him. You found out he had been to see Mumbai, and sat on the famous Konkan coast. He also went to Jaipur to try Rajasthani cuisine and the street food in New Delhi. From there he went to Greece to learn and see the architecture of Athens, see the beautiful city of Santorini and see the first university in Greece.

He currently was in Lyon, France, while you were staying in Paris. He had plans to come to Paris in a couple of days. You made plans with him to meet in three days in Paris at a little restaurant called La Maison Rose in Montmartre. You were excited to see him, to say the least. You spent that morning going through all of the clothes you packed only to choose basic black slacks and a black shirt.

When you arrived you saw Dabi sitting at a table he definitely stood out against the Pink building. Your breath caught in your throat looking at him. When he looked up he saw you smiling. You knew that most people stared at him most of the time, and he did a good job ignoring them most of the time. However, with you, he seemed to fidget under your gaze. You weren’t sure if it was because you made him uncomfortable or if he was just like that.

“Hello, Y/N.” He greeted you with a kiss on each cheek. You felt electricity run through your body.

“Hello, how have you been? How is your trip going?” You asked with excitement. The two of you shared the highs and lows of your adventures, the pictures, and every ridiculous story you could. When the day got later you and Dabi grabbed dinner and wine. The feel of the city may have gotten to you, or perhaps it was the alcohol. You took Dabi back to your room and participated in evening affairs, as two lovers would do. This continued for another week. Waking up in his arms, enjoying the Parisian life with tourist flair, and getting to know another human through scandalous endeavors, and philosophical discussions post-coitus were the highlight of your time together.

You two had not discussed what would happen afterward, but deciding to part ways was a mutual agreement. You traveled south to Portugal and Spain, and he went north to the UK, Scotland, and Ireland. Another month had passed before you two had contact. For you, it wasn’t the most wonderful of occasions, but the positive pregnancy test you held in your hand deemed the matter important enough. You hoped he would be some sort of knight in shining armor, but you didn’t put a lot of faith in it. When you reached his voicemail all hope deflated, and you abruptly ended your trip and headed home.

Two more weeks had passed, and while you were still debating on the fate of your unborn child, you wondered what Dabi was up to. After his time in Morocco, he had traveled to Johannesburg, Durban, and then Cape Town in South Africa. When he was finally able to charge his phone properly for more than an hour, he heard your voicemail. His first thought was to call back since it had been two weeks since you had left the voicemail. You didn’t leave any clues or hints to the importance of your message, but you knew he’d call when he could.

It was early when you received his phone call you were in the middle of getting ready to work. You picked it up assuming it was your mother asking you to run an errand after work for her, or your boss asking you to work another double shift today. When your eyes looked at the name on the screen, your heart stopped for a brief second. You grew more and more nervous as you brought the phone to your ear. Without thinking, you pressed the green button.

“Hello.” Dabi’s voice said on the other line. “Hello? Y/N? Can you hear me?” His voice melts your insides. You thought back to the week you spent in Paris together tangled up in one another not caring about anything else.

“Hello?” You finally said into the phone.

“Hey, I am sorry about not calling you back sooner. I haven’t been able to charge my phone properly for some time. How are you doing? How’s your trek going?” His voice seemed light and carefree with a hint of exhaustion.

“Yeah. I am good. I have been back home for about 6 weeks.” You told him as nonchalantly as you could.

“Is something wrong? Are you okay? I thought you had another two weeks left?” His voice was gentle and full of surprise.

“Actually, I have something to tell you. The reason I ended my trip so abruptly was that I found out I was pregnant.” You felt nauseated from telling him. On the other line, you heard some shouting.

“Sorry, Y/N. I have got to go, but I will call you again as soon as I can.” Dabi rushed to say before hanging up the phone. The news hit him like a ton of bricks. He couldn’t remember exactly where you said you were from. He hoped he could find you on any social media site and figure it out from there. After an hour of searching, he figured out you lived in a small town in California. He immediately booked a flight to the closest Airport and hoped that would be enough.

Three days later without any phone calls or news from Dabi, you gave up. You figured that if he really cared, he would’ve called, or at least text you. You were in the middle of your day off when you heard the doorbell ring. Your mother was home for the day and you let her answer the door. From your room, you heard a deep voice speaking with your mother, but you couldn’t make out the words.

“I am very sorry ma’am, I was hoping to find Y/N here, but it seems I have the wrong house. Have a pleasant day.” Dabi spoke and turned around to leave. You rushed down the stairs and saw him.

“Dabi!” You cried out. He lifted his head at the sound of your voice. You tore down the stairs and straight into his arms. You hugged him as hard as you possibly could. You were astonished to see him standing before you, you started to cry. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your hair. He stood and let you cry. Your mom walked away to let you two have a moment. After some time, you seemed to have calmed down. Dabi got down on one knee and proposed to you. You happily agreed.

In the months following, Dabi found a full-time job and rented an apartment for the two of you and the baby. You had a small wedding with your family present. A couple of years after the baby was born and you felt more stable, you planned a vacation for the three of you. You wanted to surprise Dabi and try to reconnect him with his family. After many phone calls to his parents when he wasn’t home. The three of you made your trip back to Japan. You thought back to where it all began on that serendipitous meeting. When you arrived at the airport you were met with open arms from Dabi’s family. You learned about his life growing up and his real name, which you promised to call him only when he was in real trouble.

In a quiet moment alone, Dabi took you aside, kissed you passionately, and thanked you for bringing him home to his family. A few days later, his mother and father thanked you as well. They loved seeing him as a loving husband, and doting parent, but most importantly you brought him back to them. Now their family was whole again.

[fiddlepickdouglas]

I know I already made a post and tagged some beloved people but I had time constraints and didn't properly express what this show has really done for me. This little 9-episode kids show, with all of its heart and cheese and underrated talent - has had such an insane impact on me.

I cried so much hearing Wake Up for the first time. Watching a young girl like Julie sing that? The younger me inside reached out for her hand and Julie took it and mourned with her. While my pain wasn't the same, I was still someone who had lost my passion for music. It had just....stopped being the place I could go to be free and powerful anymore. I felt so seen, and so understood. Julie's arc through the whole show is just too good, too beautiful, to properly address without making its own long sappy post.

Reggie was easy to relate to early on. I created the tag "middle children projecting onto reggie peters squad" because uh....yeah, the whole arguing parents thing? I felt that. Plus, he's a happy ray of sunshine and adopting friendly adults is such a ME thing to do 😂😂

Luke and Unsaid Emily? Felt like a personal attack. I won't go into detail, but having been in his shoes and seeing how it was dealt with was A LOT.

Alex and Willie though. Something about these two immediately had me so in love with their characters and their relationship. Which is funny for a girl who grew up strictly Christian. Not that I didn't already enjoy other queer characters and relationships in other media - but it's just funny because even months after being head over heels in love with this show I could only barely figure it out for myself. I had questioned before, but never so seriously.

Realizing I'm queer was the biggest change. It's been the best and the hardest change. Suddenly I connected to Alex on a level I had never expected. This part is so hard to write properly because it just...happened so quickly and so drastically on my end but I haven't been able to express it in my real life almost at all. It's an experience 🙃🙃🙃

But I've met the best people in this fandom. Whether as friends, artists, writers, creators of any sort, or people who fit multiple descriptions. I've started writing more seriously than I have in almost a decade. The things I've learned from being part of this fandom that have helped me to become a better person are too many to be named.

It's getting late and now I definitely have no eloquence left to keep going on about this show. This barely scratches the surface still, but this show really has done so much for me and my life and general. I'm really grateful for Kenny and the cast and everyone I've been in touch with due to this show ever since ❤❤

[imagine-loki]

Blushing in His Colours, Chapter 31 (Final Chapter)

TITLE: Blushing in His Colours CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 31 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki being a Daddy Dom, his adores and loves his little, worships the ground she walks on. She has vaginismus, but he couldn’t be more supportive with her. RATING: M

Loki hadn’t failed to notice that since returning from their holiday over three months ago, Mia hadn’t been in little space quite as much.

Moving into her room and knocking through to the spare room next door did give them more privacy together, but it wasn’t quite the same. He had a feeling that was the issue, because they were, essentially, still living with a bunch of other people. It was almost always busy.

So Loki went to Tony and Fury one morning…

‘Are you seriously asking for your own house?’ Tony asked, folding his arms over his chest.

‘I am. When Mia and I were alone at the villa, we were both completely relaxed. Open with each other, enjoying it. Enjoying our privacy. But here, it’s just not quite the same. We need to get our own place.’ He said determinedly.

‘You knock holes in my walls, steal my furniture and now you’re saying you’re wanting to move out?!’ Tony shouted.

‘Well, yes.’ Loki said as if it was so obvious, shrugging.

Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘I guess… We could get something arranged. Providing you give me back my furniture.’

‘Deal.’ Loki smirked.

‘I don’t think so.’ Said Fury.

Tony and Loki both looked at him, confused.

‘Are you both forgetting? The World Security Council’s conditions was that Loki remains here, under our watch.’

Loki clenched his jaw. He’d forgotten about that. But he needed to get his own place with Mia. Not just for her, but for him too. He was starting to feel like he needed somewhere quieter, too. But then he had an idea.

‘Well… what if we get our own place built, still on site but on the boundary?’ He suggested.

Tony’s eyebrows almost shot off the top of his head. ‘You want your own house built now?’

‘Yep.’

‘What if we say no?’ Fury asked.

Loki clasped his hands together on front of him and sighed as he shook his head. ‘Well, let’s just say I won’t be responsible for my actions. We need our own place, I know everyone else has their own private home. Off record. Is it really too much to ask for our own place, still on site?’

Tony and Fury admitted defeat. They knew Loki would likely make their lives hell otherwise. So they agreed. Tony got his machines to start building straight away.

But of course, Loki and Mia wanted to be involved with the plans.

When Mia asked for a swimming pool, Tony nearly fainted. Loki laughed and gave Tony a look. Telling him that Mia was to get whatever her heart desired in her new home.

With Tony’s advanced tech, they were able to get the house built and decorated within three months. Including the installation of the indoor pool, that Mia was incredibly giddy about.

Loki kept to the deal and gave Tony all the furniture he’d borrowed, as he and Mia picked out their own for their new place.

It was a good-sized house, the master bedroom had an en-suite and they had a guest room that was going to be more of an office than anything, somewhere for Mia to do her social media work. It also had book shelves lining the largest wall, that Loki filled to the brim. The living room and kitchen was huge and open planned, they had a nice sized patio and garden too. The Avengers base was just in view, but it didn’t loom over them so it was ideal.

When they moved in, they were both so excited. Loki chased Mia playfully all through the house before they even unpacked. Not like Loki couldn’t do that at the flick of a wrist, anyway. He finger fucked her in every single room, on almost every surface. And Mia knelt on the floor to suck him off in every single room, too.

They spent almost the whole day just fooling around together, making the most of their own space. Having far too much fun.

That night when they tumbled into their new bed together, they still couldn’t help themselves and their hands were all over one another.

Loki pinned her hands up above her. ‘Keep them there, little one.’ He growled firmly. Then he started his journey down her body, to between her thighs. He forced her legs apart and up, spreading her wide open for him.

He took his time, licking her clit slowly with broad strokes of his tongue. Driving her wild, really making her struggle to keep her hands up. Though she didn’t want to get into trouble so made sure she kept them in place, as difficult as it was.

After making her cum all over his face a few times, he fingered her for a while and also used one of her larger dildos on her. Making sure she was nice and open. As he had a feeling, she was ready.

Tonight was the night.

With the dildo still inside her, he crawled up over her body and kissed her on the lips, delving his tongue into her mouth.

‘It’s like a slip and slide down there.’ He teased, grinning against her, making her giggle and blush hard. ‘Which is wonderful for what I want to do to you.’

Mia was lost in his kissing again, she kept moaning into his mouth when his hand sneaked downwards between them. He pulled the dildo out of her, making her whine in disappointment at feeling empty.

Loki chuckled and stroked over her clit, then he took his cock and rubbed against her a few times, brushing over her clit. She felt jolts of pleasure each time shoot all through her body.

He pressed the tip of his cock against her and slowly started to push in, she was so wrapped up with his tongue invading her mouth she barely registered what was actually going on down there, just feeling pleasure.

But then she felt him breaching her, she gasped as his cock slid into her a little, there was a slight popping sensation as her body stretched around him. He paused when he was a few inches into her, letting her adjust as she was squeezing him so hard and panting.

‘Are you alright, sweetling? Will I continue?’ Loki asked softly, kissing the side of her lips.

It stung very slightly, but not enough to make it too sore to continue.

‘P… please… keep going.’ She whimpered, completely stunned and so damn aroused that this was actually happening. Finally.

Loki pushed a bit further into her, she was so tight it was unbelievable. And as Loki had been slightly worried about, he came embarrassingly quick within her. He groaned loudly and bit down on her neck as he spurted hotly into her.

That drove Mia crazy. She cried out in pleasure and tightened her legs around him, holding him close. Feeling him fill her like that, properly, she was in utter heaven. And it was so much better than the dildo.

He was much larger than anything before, so he kept going slow until he was nestled deep inside her. She was still clenching hard around him, squeezing him for all he had. Loki tried to focus, to last longer this time, he carefully started thrusting into her. Only pulling back a few inches before pushing in again.

They both wanted him to stay as deep as possible. And Mia couldn’t help herself as she burst into tears, her emotions all over the place. It didn’t hurt, at all. She just felt extremely full and like he was pressing on so many pleasure points, she couldn’t stop cumming. The size of him caused her clit to be flushed out from its hiding spot, making it rub against him.

‘Ohh, sweetling. You have no idea how incredible you feel around my cock.’ He purred, stroking her hair.

‘I… I can’t believe it…’ She said between panting. ‘Feels so good.’ She whimpered, squirming under him.

Loki chuckled and nuzzled her nose as he kept moving his hips against her, grinding deep into her. She ended up bringing her arms down and wrapping them around him, digging her nails into his back. Loki let it slide as he knew this was a big moment for her. He wanted her to enjoy it and be comfortable.

When Mia came, it was the best orgasm she’d ever had. It felt so fulfilling, having something for her body to clamp down on and squeeze, keeping her full and stimulated. She felt like the orgasm was all through her bones.

Loki came at the same time, feeling her squeezing him even more than she already was sent him flying over the edge yet again.

He was panting too as he pressed his forehead against hers and stilled himself, still inside her.

‘You’re incredible, Mia.’ Loki whispered, kissing her gently on the lips.

‘So are you.’ She whispered back at him, still trembling. ‘This is… even better than I ever imagined.’

‘For me too, sweetling. I told you we would get there in time.’ He smiled.

‘I uh… I definitely really really love the feeling of you cumming inside me.’ She blushed bright red.

Loki chuckled and kissed her cheek, then her forehead. ‘I really really love the feeling of cumming inside you, too.’

Mia could barely stop shaking the whole time Loki was inside her. Even when he started moving again, going for another round. In the end, when he eventually pulled out of her, reluctantly, she whimpered from the feeling of emptiness.

As he lay down at her side, she threw her arms around him and hugged him, her face buried into his neck.

‘I love you so much.’ She said slightly muffled against him.

‘I love you too, darling.’ Loki smiled as he rubbed her back.

[littleoddwriter]

Asking for Help | Roman Sionis x Male!Reader

Another vent fic, yay. One I didn’t expect to write and fought with myself if I even should. Did it anyway, obviously. It kinda helped, I guess. This is extremely personal and very specific, of course. I doubt anyone will truly read it, but still putting that out there, lol. 

summary; A flashback of past trauma pops up and Roman later asks you why you never ask for help. 

notes; TW // Past Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma; Abuse; Trauma; Flashbacks; Being yelled at by father in the past; Mentions of self-harm and intrusive thoughts. Male!Reader; hint of Daddy!Kink, but Roman doesn’t get called “Daddy” for once, it’s just the usual pet names he uses fror reader in my fics; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; Cuddling; Crying; Talk about past trauma;

You sat at your desk, studying and doing homework for university, like usual. It was absolutely set in your routine and Roman knew not to disturb you, while you were trying to focus and just get everything done. So, like during your zoom calls, he was either in the living area of the loft, downstairs at the club or completely gone, doing business somewhere. That day, he was relaxing at the loft. You couldn't decide if you were happy about it or not, when you were suddenly hit by a flashback. One that hasn't haunted you in a little while. It was startling. You stopped writing, setting your pen down; and tried to calm your breathing that had picked up due to the flashback. Faintly, you noticed tears burning your eyes. You quickly blinked them away and swallowed thickly. Think of something else. Think of something else. Think of something else. You repeated these words in your head, over and over again. This was long past. It happened. It was over. It's almost been a decade since it had happened. Taking a deep breath, you balled your hands into fists, clenching and unclenching them repeatedly. Thinking of anything else didn't help, the flashback fought its way through to the forefront. You could practically hear him yell. Your father. You cried so much that one evening when it had happened. The way he was yelling at you so familiar and yet so shocking. The words he was shouting cut deeply, leaving scars that just wouldn't heal. Deep down, you had known it would happen. You had known he would yell at you. Yet, your sister insisted to talk to your parents. You wished you hadn't. It would have been one scar less. Your father had left so many emotional wounds on you, none of them healed properly, if at all. Often times, you found yourself conflicted in regards to your feelings towards him. You loved him. You knew he loved you. But all the yelling, the rough handling when you were a little kid, the nasty words he would throw at you; it all made you stop and question everything so often. The mixed signals he had sent you all your life made it a blurry line, a conflict within yourself. Knowing that you wouldn't be able to focus on your work for a little while anyway, you got up from your desk and thought about going to Roman. You hesitated. You didn't want to bother him. You didn't want to let him see you struggling. You didn't want him to leave you, realising how broken you were. Eventually, you went to your bedroom, taking your smartphone from the bedside table instead. You sat down on the edge of the bed and opened various social media apps, trying to focus on that instead. Funny posts, things about your favourite characters and films, anything that would make you smile and feel better. It worked temporarily. Then it all came back. Frustrated, you threw your phone beside you on the bed and buried your face in your hands. Your ears twitched, when you heard Roman walk around the loft. You lifted your head and put your hands down. All too suddenly, he was standing just a few feet away from you, tiltling his head with a concerned face. "Are you just taking a break or is something wrong?" He asked after a few beats of silence in which you just looked each other. You bit the inside of your cheek, fighting with yourself. "Just taking a break," you rasped eventually. Roman hummed thoughtfully, obviously not believing you, but didn't push you into talking. He came closer, sitting down beside you. "Do you want some tea?" You shook your head. He sighed, kissing your forehead before getting back up. "You know where to find me if you change your mind," he said before leaving you alone again. If he was talking about the tea or opening up to him was up to you to decide. You felt awful. Guilty. He shouldn't have to put up with you like that. You knew how frustrating it was to not get any answers to the many questions that would form, when someone you loved was suffering and not opening up. After a short while, you got back up and went back to your desk to continue doing your work for university. It would be rather pointless as you wouldn't be able to recount much of it the next day, but you didn't care anymore. You just wanted to get it done and you wanted to stop the flashback from popping up over and over again. At night, when you finally went to bed, Roman was lying on his back and you were cuddled into his side, your head resting on his chest. It was your favourite position. Hearing his heart beat was calming. He was stroking your hair with one hand and rubbing a thumb over the arm you laid over his stomach with his other. "Why do you never ask for help?" He whispered. You tensed up. "It's a mean question, isn't it? I don't mean to hurt you, baby. I just want to know why. Do you not trust me?" "That's not it," you replied softly, tightly gripping onto his silk pajama shirt. "What is it then?" The flashback came back to you all over again, your breathing picking up, tears welling up in your eyes. Ironically, it had to do with just that. That was one of the reasons why you never dared to ask for help. That was why you never dared to let the people around you know when you suffered. That was why you hesitated to answer when you were directly asked about it. "It's not easy for me," you settled on. "Could you stop being so fucking vague for once?" He sounded frustrated. Angry. "Fuck. I didn't mean it like that. I want to know what's going on with you, baby. That's all," he sighed. A tear escaped your eyes, travelling over the bridge of your nose and dropping on Roman's shirt. "I'm sorry, Roman, I'm sorry. I just- it's hard, okay? It's really fucking hard! I- I want to ask for help. I do. So often. But I just can't. I'm fucking scared every fucking time. So scared-" It all shot right out of you and you had to catch yourself in the end, a broken sob tearing itself from your throat. Roman shushed you softly, squeezing your arm on top of his stomach rhythmically, reassuringly. "Ssh, it's okay, sweetheart," he cooed. "Why are you scared? What are you scared of?" He seemed to latch onto the opening he'd found. "I'm scared you'll leave me. I'm scared you'll be angry. I'm scared you'll yell at me, like- like- Fuck!" You were full on crying by now, tears flowed, sobs escaped you and your entire body was quaking with the force of it all. "I wouldn't do any of those things, sweet boy, I promise. I know I get angry quickly, but never at you, right? Right, baby?" "I know. I'm sorry. I know." Neither of you spoke for a moment. Your sobs died down, silent tears falling and soaking the silk shirt some more. "It's just that my dad would get so angry with me for these things. He- he would always yell at me for things I had no control over. When I was a little kid. When I got older. When I was almost twenty even. One time, in my early teens, I struggled with self-destructive intrusive thoughts. The urge to harm myself was so fucking big. I didn't want to do it. I didn't! M-my sister found out and sat me down with my parents to tell them and then- then my dad just exploded. He was shouting at me, telling me I was crazy, telling me I was stupid, telling me I was sick. I was so shocked. I knew he would be angry with me, but I didn't expect him to explode like that. I just don't want people to be mad at me anymore for these things. I'm sorry. I know you're not him." After you had explained yourself, your heart was racing, anxiety digging its claws into you. "Oh, baby, no... No. He was so wrong for doing that. Aw, my sweet boy," Roman cooed, shifting so he could look at you and be face to face with you. He brushed the tears from your cheeks and kissed them both, shushing you all the while. "My mom tried to justify him by saying that he was just worried and didn't know how to react. I guess she was right. I know he loves me, but it hurt, Roman, it hurt so much. It still does," you continued after a couple of minutes in which you tried to gather yourself. "It doesn't excuse what he's done and you know it," Roman replied gently. You nodded. You knew that. But you felt so guilty for practically badmouthing your father. One of his hands travelled down the expanse of your chest and stomach, crawling under your soft cotton shirt and stroking over your happy trail. It wasn't meant to be seductive or anything likewise. It was reassuring. Soft. Gentle. Conveying things he had a hard time saying out loud. Roman kissed your cheeks again, then your forehead and then he finally pressed his lips against yours. With the kiss, he was thanking you. You knew he was. You knew he wouldn't say it. "Thank you," you said when you broke the kiss. He smiled at you, brushing your hair back with the hand that wasn't busy stroking over your abdomen. "I've got you, baby boy. I promise," he whispered to you, making your lips stretch into a soft, small smile. You nodded. Words weren't needed. He knew you were grateful. He knew you loved him. The two of you settled into more comfortable positions again, ready to go to sleep after the emotional turn the night had taken. "Fuck family," Roman murmured before you fell asleep. 

[ladynoirist]

N°3 Miss bear book 🐻

3. What were your top five books of the year?

OOOOO thank you emsy this is such a good but hard one since i read so much good shit this year (but yes the bear book is one of the top HAHA) so i guess it would be, in no particular order:

a libertarian walks into a bear by matthew hongoltz-hetling my bear book!!!! as you know because i literally did not shut up about bears for WEEKS on end but i am obsessed with this book it has literally everything. bears, crazy libertarians, a lady who feeds dunkin donuts to the bears by the dozen like some sort of disney princess, the importance of paying taxes to fund your wildlife services and of disposing of your trash properly so you don't get the entire neighborhood robbed by bears, and the best thing is that since it's a nonfiction book every hair raising detail is completely true!!!! if this was fiction it would have been considered unrealistic but it's NOT. EVERYTHING LITERALLY HAPPENED AND IT IS GLORIOUS

little gods by meng jin i am still a little raw and sore about this book because it is all about dealing with the grief of losing a parent and complicated parent child relationships and being torn between two cultures and never feeling at home or like you belong anywhere and it basically pulled all of my insecurities and deepest fears out of my heart and laid them on paper in crisp ink but all you need to know about this book is that i stayed up till 3 am to finish this book and cried through the last 50 pages and then for an hour till i fell asleep and then i had a terrible cold for a week after that

in the dream house by carmen maria machado this is. such a well written and incredibly inventive boundary stretching and breaking memoir which melds and breaks a lot of genre conventions in genre fiction horror fiction essay and memoir and shines a light on some things that a lot of people don't like to acknowledge and i just. i literally had dreams about this book and i nearly never have dreams that i remember when i wake up

these violent delights (duology) by chloe gong literally a mashup of every single trope i adore in fiction (half of which are major spoilers for the second book but lovers to enemies to lovers and also FERAL CUTTHROAT POWER HUNGRY GIRLBOSSES MY BELOVED) set in my absolute FAVORITE historical time and in SUCH a fascinating place i just. SCREAM ALL THE TIME ITS SO GOOD AND SUCH A RIOT TO READ i had 2 put my e reader down several times and squeal like a pressure cooker

no one is talking about this by patricia lockwood this is a slightly odd pick for me because i didn't actually enjoy reading it at all until the second half but i feel like that actually contributes to why i think it's so masterfully done and why it deserves to be on the list because the first half is very literally written like a twitter feed and unlike pretty much any novel that heavily features social media that i've read before, it's SUCH a perfect simulation of what it feels like to scroll through twitter endlessly, not quite having fun but unable to pull yourself away for some reason and just feeling more stuck and miserable. and like. i know this doesn't sound like a positive review for this book but this was a very INTENTIONAL effect and i'm completely in awe of how the author (who, by the way is the mom of miette of jail for mother for one thousand years fame!) executed it while still keeping me hooked to the book and not tossing it away like i do when i actually feel in a rut on social media. and the second half is chefs kiss

anyway this ended up being long and rambly but here you go!!!! thank you for giving me a chance 2 run my mouth

send me book asks

[life-0r-death]

@yugirl made a ship meme for connectionshipping and I wanted to make one for galileanshipping.

Galileanshipping is a GX/5Ds polyship created by @kitsunephantom09 and myself, involving Jaden/Judai Yuki x Bastion/Daichi Misawa x Yusei Fudo x Jack Atlas. “Galilean” comes from the Galilean moons of Jupiter for which there are four major ones: Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto.

Io is a moon covered in active volcanoes. Much like Jack’s Burning Soul. Europa is a moon covered in ice, much like Yusei’s Stardust Dragon and his calming yet cool demeanor. Ganymede, though another icy moon, is the largest and has the greatest magnetic pull. Much like Jaden, it draws attention and has a surface that retains both cold and hot. Callisto is the second largest moon, and yet does not retain the magnetic pull from Jupiter. It is outside the connection and therefore is not affected by tidal heating. It, too, is the most heavily cratered moon. Much like Bastion, it is alone and apart, scarred from years of abandonment, yet it is the most helpful, considered to be the best habitable moon for human life.

With the Galilean moons, the ship was created, giving a tie to the movement of space and time.

But now, onto the ship meme part!

Who made the first move;

Technically it was an equal part from Jaden and Yusei. Jaden and Bastion were already in a relationship just as Yusei and Jack were. Yusei and Jaden met in BBT, and never forgot one another. Soon, they wanted to involve their current lovers, so Jaden and Yusei brought them all together and spoke honestly, telling the two they wanted to form a poly relationship.

Who said ‘I love you’ first;

Between Bastion and Jaden, Jaden said it first. Since returning from the Spirit World, he’s had a greater appreciation for people and those who stuck by his side, as well as those who suffer from their own darknesses. He learned to see Bastion and to learn from him, eventually forming into a deep love that couldn’t be contained.



Between Yusei and Jack, Jack said it first in an annoyed rage. They ended up together soon after that.

Between Yusei and Jaden, Yusei said it first. After bending time to see each other once more, Yusei found himself just unable to let Jaden go. He told him in full earnest emotions that he loved him and wanted him to stay in his era.



Between Yusei and Bastion, Yusei said it first. Yusei fell deeply in love with Bastion’s calculating thoughts, his need to write formulas, and his beauty and intelligence. It sort of just came out of his mouth, watching Bastion write his thoughts down upon the wall. And he just opened his mouth to compliment his ideas, but a ‘I love you’ came instead. Bastion didn’t talk to Yusei for a week, too flustered to even look him in the eye properly.



Between Bastion and Jack, it was Bastion. Their relationship starts off rocky, not as committed as the others are. But after some time, Bastion and Jack find they have a mutual affection for each other. Jack doesn’t know how to label it. Bastion does, and after a heated fight, Bastion states that he doesn’t want bad blood between them because he loves Jack. And from there on out, their relationship got better.

Between Jaden and Jack, they don't remember who said it first. They just seem to have said they loved each other always.

How often do they fight;

They have petty fights, small things that irk them that cause annoyance and talks. Yusei and Bastion are ones who want to talk everything out while Jaden and Jack are much more inclined to physical relief. Their petty fights don’t amount to much, but their big ones are disastrous. Often, its between Bastion and Jack the most as they have opposite opinions on several matters that are important to them. Yusei and Jaden often run interference. Yusei rarely fights with anyone, and it is typically resolved quickly. Jaden rarely fights, and if he does, he usually settles it with a duel or a fist fight.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon;

There are two constants and there are two that change depending on the sleeping cycle or habits. Yusei is always the big spoon. He enjoys holding his partners and making them feel safe. Bastion is always the little spoon. He never asks for it, but his shoulders often slump in a way that indicates he needs affection, and his partners are more than willing to provide.

Jaden and Jack are flexible. They cuddle as the dynamics need or what they want. But, in a percentage, Jaden is big spoon 75% of the time and little spoon 25%. Jack is big spoon 45% of the time and little spoon 55%.

What are their nicknames for each other;

Yusei: (to Bastion) Bas; (to Jaden) Jay; (to Jack) my King

Jaden: (to Yusei) babe, daddy, Yu; (to Bastion) Bas, Basy, babe, pretty boy; (to Jack): Jackie, babe, baby, my King[after hearing from Yusei]

Bastion: he doesn’t really do nicknames, mainly calling everyone but their full name, but he does at times call Jaden ‘Jay’ when he’s flustered or aroused.

Jack: doesn’t really call anyone nicknames other than shortening Bastion to Bas and Jaden to Jay.

Who’s the better cook;

Bastion and Jack. Jack is the best cook of them all, having taken time to learn while under Godwin’s custody as it was often a stress reliever. Bastion is a bit of a health nut, so he cooks and enjoy it to make healthy snacks while Jack is all about baking treats and cakes.

Their song;

Take This City by Everfound

Who remembers their anniversaries;

Bastion the most. He’s very aware of holidays and birthdays as well as anniversaries as he wants his partners to feel loved and adored. Yusei is a close second as he often makes sure their anniversaries are directed toward Bastion the most. Jack and Jaden don’t really care and often forget. To them its just another day. Yusei understands that to Bastion, it’s an event of their love, lasting longer and longer, and he is the one who needs the reminder the most. So Yusei is always sure that Bastion knows they all know (even if he’s the one reminding Jack and Jaden).

Their favorite thing to do together (besides sex);

Jack and Jaden love dueling one another. Either in standing duels or riding duels, they get the greatest enjoyment in challenging one another and beating the ever-living crap out of one another.

Yusei and Bastion adore working on projects together. That could be deck building or bike updating or even house updates or plans. They plan it out and they figure out all the nuances of their projects and they absolutely lose themselves in each other.

Jaden and Bastion love to cuddle. Jaden always starts it, Bastion just letting him hold him or pull him into his lap or Jaden lying on his. They can be in bed sleeping or they can be relaxing on the couch reading/watching tv, but their favorite thing is to physically be near one another.

Jaden and Yusei are often training, Yusei learning to harness his Clear Mind and Jaden controlling his Darkness powers. The two powers work pretty well to repel each other as well as work together. Jaden loves using his powers and Yusei loves pushing their limits as well as experimenting (sometimes Jack joins using Burning Soul while Bastion helps keep track of their scores/health/stats/etc. but more often than not, its mainly just Yusei and Jaden's thing)

Jack and Bastion are also cuddlers, but often they have emotional chats. Bastion and Jack just lie beside one another in the semi darkness of Jack’s room, talking in quiet tones about all sorts of emotional stuff. Babies, families, traumas, sex, fights, parents, growing up, etc. All sorts of things where they are crying or smiling or laughing.

Who ‘wears the pants’ in the relationship;

Yusei always wears the pants.

Jaden always wears the pants for Bas and Jack, and will sometimes wear the pants for Yusei but mostly doesn’t for him.

Jack wears the pants for Bas, but does not for Yusei and Jaden.

Bastion never wears the pants.

How they would get engaged;

Everyone but Bas aren’t really into marriage. They see no need for it. Bastion follows in their thoughts and never proposes, but he does dream of the idea of getting married. They do, however, eventually get married but more for financial and medical reasons than for romantic ones. Yusei and Bastion marry as Yusei understand Bastions dream for it better, and they take it much more seriously. So Yusei proposes to Bastion in a small but simple way, walking around town and then getting on one knee with a ring in hand. Bastion, of course, flushes red and cries, mumbling a yes before Yusei is standing, slipping the ring on, and kissing the daylights out of Bastion. When they do finally marry, Bastion takes on Yusei’s name in a hyphenation so he becomes Bastion Misawa-Fudo.

Jaden and Jack marry for the financial/medical reasons. They don't particularly do a proposal, they just say 'we should do it for xyz.' They do not take on each other’s name, and they don’t make a big deal of it.

What would their wedding be like;

Though they don’t care for marriage, each married couple does have a wedding.

Bastion and Yusei have a calm wedding with family and close friends where the only media allowed is Carly. The media is allowed since Yusei is a figure for the people, but mostly it is just the enjoyment of each other. Yusei wears a black tuxedo. Bastion wears a white tuxedo (though I have thought of Bastion wearing a white wedding gown). Their rings would be simple, just silver bands. But on the inside would be all of their names etched.

Jack and Jaden have a much bigger wedding with all the press and all the bells and whistles. Jack makes it a big extravaganza, wearing his best tuxedo with the finest threads. Jaden would wear a red tuxedo. There would be talk that Jaden is similar to the famous ‘Jaden Yuki’ that disappeared years ago, but often it is thought he is just named after the same man. They don’t correct that thinking. They too have simple silver bands, much to the presses’ disappointment, but inside is also all of their names.

How many kids would they have;

This has been plotted between Kit and I for a long while, as well as a recent addition from Yugirl.

Jack Atlas (mommy) + Jaden Yuki (papa) = Shiloh Yuki (female)

Jack Atlas (mommy) + Yusei Fudo (daddy) = Lily Fudo (female)

Jaden Yuki (papa) + Bastion Misawa-Fudo (mama) = Yubel “Yubie” Yuki (male)

(From yugirl: Jaden + Bas = Rosalie [female])

Bastion Misawa-Fudo (mama) + Yusei Fudo (daddy) = Zebadiah “Zeb” Misawa-Fudo (male)

Jack Atlas (mommy *but not one who gave birth) + Bastion Misawa-Fudo (mama) = Soul Misawa-Fudo-Atlas (born female; later non-binary)

Jaden Yuki (papa *but one who gives birth) + Yusei Fudo (daddy) = Orion (male) [note: this is more of a concept and this child doesn't appear unless certain circumstances are met)

[norgestan]

why do u think eskam decided to have all these lucas pov extra clips... out of everyone else 😭 its so funny to me like he's okay but lit rally nobody seems to like them

i’ve sit on this ask for a while and i have an essay due in like an hour so it’s the perfect time to answer this!

personally, when i look at what they’re... trying to tackle in lucas’ season, i’m actually really interested. i think on paper this is a clever way to 1) introduce kasim to the audience, 2) mesh the isak and eskild storylines (problems at home, navigating being gay in a mostly cishet environment → isak, outgrowing straight friend group, reckless partying/hooking up -substance abuse?- → eskild), and 3) use the extra clips to tell a parallel story that couldn’t otherwise be shown as a simple sideplot. to me it feels like they initially had plans of making the isak season about lucas, but for some reason, pretty early in development they scrapped that and gave it to cris, although they couldn’t really let go of all of their ideas. it also seems like they really wanted to make lucas have some sort of protagonism, and in that way the youtube channel was such an organic way to do it! it requires less emoting and more charm, making things easier for alejandro, and cements him as the guru figure that cris finds on her own season. the success of the extra clips must have been such an eureka moment for them, since they realized they can finally put those ideas to use.

of course... the resolution is incredibly lackluster. people are either bored, confused or coming down from the high of seeing two hot guys kissing just to realize this whole thing doesn’t have a lot of substance or time to be properly developed. the lack of foreshadowing in previous seasons and even this one is a huge problem too. i can get behind this gay boy failing to find a place with his friends anymore while also going through a rough patch with his family, but the role lucas has had on previous seasons makes it so him getting these kinds of themes and stories to tell simply looks... incredibly out of nowhere. it seemed like s2 lucas had successfully branched out to the lgbt community via social media and his youtube channel, all while he also has the support of his friends... until now where he suddenly can’t find that balance anymore. and seasons 2 or 3 don’t give us any insight that lucas might be struggling because of his family situation. i feel like the writers just saw all the time they suddenly had in their hands and just said, “let’s fucking do this”. but there are SO many things wrong with the execution... kasim’s introduction takes too long and we have like zero reasons to root for his romance with lucas, the extra clips are weirdly taking over amira’s plotline via kasim being 1) dounia’s brother and 2) and asshole who forces amira in a convoluted lie so he doesn’t come out yet, it puts alejandro in a spot where people realize he’s not that strong of an actor, yadda yadda yadda.

i think lucas’ character is well loved by the writers of the show and they wanted to take this moment to make him justice. to me, the youtube channel was the perfect way to do it. this is just too much. all the things they’re trying to do on lucas’ pov already seem like a lot for a regular, 10 episode season; and it’s much worse in a total of one hour of his pov across three weeks. and if anything, the only thing that these clips are doing is making people dislike or resent lucas’ character, since they’re done a shitty job in showing us why we should care about him and whatever he’s going on right now.

[boymeetsparadise]

masterlist

contains and mentions: female reader x jung hoseok/ female reader x kim taehyung.

>language, break ups, angst, anxiety, brief mention of a loved one’s passing, alcohol, children. exes to strangers au, (please let me know if i missed anything)

Word count: 2k

an: i had the sad music playing, its one of those moments.. this came to mind and hopefully you all enjoy! angsty hobi? tragic but sign me up! (◠‿◠)

listened to while writting: 2 soon - keshi

A weary sigh left your lips as you toed off your shoes, a soft nudge to close off the door as your hair fell down your back from having been up all day. A late night at work and you finally had the weekend to look forward to, it dawned that your energy wasn’t the same as before. You worked from home most of the time unless it was a big project or a mistake had been made, then you’d spend hours away from home. Rare but dreaded. 

The small apartment was quiet as the soft patting of your tired feet on the wooden floors brought back life. Bag set on the dining table, you looked over into the kitchen as the under cabinet stove hood glowed into the dark home, leftovers waiting. You opted to eat it at room temperature, trying to keep the silence aside from the soft drags of cutlery.  Washing dishes could wait until the morning as you made sure the windows were properly locked around your home. 

The soft thuds of clothes hit the floor before you let out another sigh. Arms around yourself, massaging your sore neck before changing and letting the soft, cool material of your pajamas welcome you even further. Doors and wooden floor panels softly creaked before you slid into bed, another sigh as you stared at the ceiling, dinner finally settling. You reached over to your phone on the nightstand, mindlessly scrolling through your social media. Looks like a high school acquaintance got married, double-tap, and type out a quick congratulations with excessive emojis. Your cousin posted a selfie and she looks breathtaking, double-tap, and comment that you miss her. You continued for a few more posts, catching up on the people around you. A tired yawn and you were giving in to sleep. A small stretch and click of the phone, you turned over, a small smile on your lips. 

Only a couple minutes in before your eyes shot right open. Your phone was on low volume but the vibrations had it motoring across the small table. Probably a late-night telemarketer as you couldn’t quite recognize the phone number. A spam risk? You pressed the accept button, whispers ready. 

“Hello?” There was a small gasp.

“[Y/n]” and then a small sigh of relief.

You sat up in bed immediately, shock and confusion written all over your face.

“Hoseok?” You whispered, questioning whether or not it was really the voice. 

“Yes!” He sighed, “It’s me..” He bit his bottom lip as his index finger mindlessly circles the finish of the glass bottle. To him, it felt so good to hear your voice again and he thanked his angels above for remembering your number. 

You sat up in bed, wide awake with a sudden pang in your heart. Silence followed as you tried to find the words to say. There wasn’t any- so serious yet awkward as it used to be so easy to talk to one another.

“Long time huh?” Hoseok let out a nervous chuckle as he adjusted his phone. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been..” You paused, and quickly pulled away to glance at the time, what was going on? “It’s two a.m, why?” 

“It’s late I know. But I just had to call. I had to just hear your voice again.” He pleaded. You rolled your eyes, he wouldn’t know that though. 

“But why?”

“Can’t I just call to catch up?” He played casually.

“No.” You snapped at his attempt as your mind began to wander at his intentions. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I thought I should call you.” He confessed.

“It’s been-”

“I know how long it’s been.” He cut you off. “But you were always the best remedy.” 

You sighed, his words sending another chill down your spine.

“I tried to hard to find your number, I thought you would’ve changed it.” Silence. “Relieved that I’m not blocked.” He tried to chuckle but failed awkwardly. You don’t tell him that you just unblocked his number about a year ago because the missing contact name confused you. 

“Let’s just talk.” He licked his lips, adjusting in his seat. “How are you? How’s your dad?” He tried, hands shaky. 

“He passed last November.” You deadpanned.

“Oh…” Hoseok felt a wave of guilt. “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.” You’ve missed a lot Jung Hoseok.

Another moment of silence followed. 

“...Cut to the chase Hoseok” You ran your free hand through your hair again, looking over your shoulder, “Why’d you call?”

“I think you know why [Y/n]..”

“ I don’t know anymore.” You paused. “You don’t call someone up at two am after you haven’t been able to do so for over three years.” 

“I’ve missed you. And I’ve realized how much of an idiot I am.” He played with the bottle some more.

“You had three years Hoseok.” You stared off into the distance of your dimly lit room, the moon shining in through a small crack in the curtains. 

“And I regret not calling sooner.” He let his head fall, tears burning his eyes.

“Have you been drinking Hoseok?” 

“Would that matter?” He cocked a brow.

“Considering you could never be honest with me when sober, yes.” For a moment you felt like you had gone back in time, a younger you picking up the phone because she had yet another fight with her boyfriend and he called to apologize like always. At three am as his lips slurred the truths he wished he would say while sober, but you knew that already.

You’d believe every word and then he would stumble to your place, pebbles at your window before you let him in, embracing each other as you sat on your roof, looking at the sky.

“I’ve changed.” He rubbed his eyes, drunk sincerity in every word he spoke. “So much.” He sighed. “And I’ll never be sorry enough on that it took me so long to do so.”

“It shouldn’t have taken years.” You shook your head. “I’m sorry but I don’t see the point in tonight’s-”

“Can I come see you?” His voice was shaky. “Just this once, please? I have so much I want to say.” Another desperate sigh, “And I want to do this face to face.”

“Hobi-” You shuttered from letting his old nickname slip.

“You still stay in the same place right? I’ll be there in 15.” He downed a prepared shot, eyes wandering for his jacket- ready to head out. You took a deep breath, a soft cry could be heard across the hall.

“Hoseok stop.” You swung your legs off the edge of the bed, the anxiety making you fidget. 

“Let me stay the night. I’ll leave in the morning, I swear.”  He tried to convince you and himself, his mind blocking out sounds that weren’t you. “Just let me be in the same space as you. Please?”

“You had time Hoseok.” Pity in your tone, you continued, “You won’t remember this in the morning.” Too distracted to feel the movement on the other side.

“I can come by in the morning if I can’t right now... How does nine am sound?” He bit the inside of his cheek, avoiding your pleads. “Would that be fine?’

“Listen-” 

 “I can pick up your favorite muffins and we can talk over some coffee-” Hoseok tried.

“Hoseok.” You repeated, tears ready to slip at any moment as he heard the crack in your voice, his heart breaking with it. 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Trust me I tried so hard to forget. To move on. But I couldn’t. I can’t.” Another heavy sigh. 

“Stop it.”

“Just a bit of time, please. I know it isn’t fair of me to ask this of you. I’ll always be that selfish but I can’t help it. I have to ask for more. I’m sorry.”

“You missed so much. I’ve-”

“Please. At least let me see you for the last time.”

“Three years.” You reminded him, it hurt so bad. 

“I know.”

Another silence. Memories of you two flashed in your mind. Moments of joy and love now hurt so much, pushed away to the depths of your mind, buried underneath new ones.

“I have to go.” 

“Please don’t hang up.” His voice broke.

“I have to. Please don’t call again.”

“I’ll call every day. I’m serious.” He spoke, his free hand rubbing at his burning eyes. “I want another try at us. I’m tired of the games I played. I’ve changed and I’ll prove that [Y/n].”

“Don’t do this.”

“Don’t you love me anymore?” Hoseok’s vision went blurry. “It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, true love will always come back to one another.” He tried to reason as the grip on his phone tightened.

“I don’t love you anymore.” You jumped right in, cutting him off from rambling any further, teeth clenched. “Don’t start spewing your bullshit when you’re the one who walked out on me Hoseok. We could’ve had it all but you fucked up. I got tired of waiting and hoping. Obviously this isn’t true love if it took you this long to realize. I found my happiness Hoseok.” 

You were bitter. Fed up. You sat, heavy breathing, the man who once gave you butterflies was now asking for pity and forgiveness as if that wasn’t a constant in your time together.

“You don’t mean that.” Hoseok pleaded. “Please.”

“I do and you’re drunk Hoseok. Bye.”

“[Y/n]-” 

“You’ll find someone one day, and you’ll thank me for this.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you pulled the phone away. 

Hoseok’s lip started to quiver, his calls were always enough and now you were here ready to hang it up for good. 

“Baby?” 

Hoseok raised his brows, eyes wide with confusion. Was there someone with you? Should he hang up? 

“Sorry love, I tried my best to put them back down to bed but I think someone misses their mommy.” Your lover pouted as he made his way over to you. He avoided mentioning he’s been awake since he heard you come home, the muffles of the other line peaking his interest.

Hoseok let his tears fall like an overflowing sink. He recognized that voice. The voice of someone he once considered an old friend, now calling you baby. Did you have a child?

“It’s fine.” You took your head with a slight grin, taking the infant in your arms as he sat down next to you. The smalls cries halted as they recognized your motherly scent. “Why hello little one.” You coo’ed, finger softly stroking the tiny plump cheek.

“Did you miss me?” Your face lit up with joy as the tiny infant stared back at you, mouth round as they let out soft coos.

“Wow that’s so interesting, tell me more!’ You smiled as Taehyung sat right next to you stretching to see the interaction between you and his child, heart bursting.

Hoseok listened to the entire conversation, a pain in his chest. Your voice full of love and excitement. You meant what you said. You had found your happiness. 

Taehyung looked over to your phone, forgotten on the bed, the screen lighting up momentarily- Hoseok hung up. He sighed, relief washing over him. Hopefully- he heard everything. “I’m so proud of you.” He softly spoke against your temple, inhaling your perfume and leaving a small kiss. 

“For what?” You knitted your brows before looking back at the child in your arms.

“Everything you do.” He smiled, not ready to admit to his eavesdropping. “You amaze me every day. You’re so strong and such an excellent friend, lover, mother, human being. I love you and our little family.” His eyes now teary as he looked down at your ring finger- the diamond still shining even in the dark. “I just think I should remind you any chance I get.” He shyly smiled before looking away. 

Heat spread across your cheeks as you stared at him for a good moment, taking in his appearance. His honey toned skin looked absolutely mesmerizing in the moonlight as his dark waves bounced with every movement. His hand came up to stoke your child’s hair before they enveloped his thumb in their small hand. The small interaction had you bursting at the seams. 

“I love you too.” You smiled before giving him a soft kiss, a smile on your face  now focused on the child before you. A very heavy sigh you didn’t even know you were holding escaped, happiness was this very moment.

“She...” [name] stared off into space, struggling for word, bringing the bottle to his lips. “How could he do this? ” He threw his head back, taking a swig. His best friend and the love of his life. The word ‘mommy’ rang through his head. 

She was right, a lot can happen in three years and he had just realized how long that time really was. He bit down on his lip, drawing blood. He hated himself completely as the bottle rested on his lips, another swig as it burned the fresh punctures. 

Silence filled the messy room, bottles and cigarette buds littered the floor as he looked through his photo gallery, fresh tears landing on an old photo he took of you. You both changed and this time the roads didn't cross. His phone calls always set everything right. He promised himself to call again one day. 

 “I may hate this now but I hope I find what you have [y/n]. Then maybe I’ll thank you.”

[quanxui]

i tend to feel closer towards characters who take time off from school or decide to repeat the year. it's obviously because i'm someone who took time off from school AND repeated a year but beyond that, i don't know. i guess as an asian or someone in a country where education is already somewhat a status, with people here and there unconsciously or consciously judging you for what school you're going to or came from or what major you're studying or how many scholarships you have on you, it feels weird to be a repeater and someone who took a year off. it even feels weird that you're a year older than your classmates, even if it's just a year. it feels weird that you're sitting at home while everyone's outside studying. it feels weird not to think about numbers and concepts. it feels weird not to be doing what they expect you to do.

at first, i used to cry every night because i felt like a failure for having to stop school. even after i watched that web kdrama series, a-teen, where one of my favorite characters decided he wanted to think over his future once more so he'd rather repeat school. that season, the finale, was one of my favorites because of that scene and it comforted me a little but still! it's really terrifying for that to happen to someone like me who has been surrounded by these ideals. i said this before, but i always thought i was so laid back until things started happening. i remember realizing how getting a grade i didn't consider high enough was probably my second heartbreak (the first one was about a breakup with a friend). i really cried for days and lost the appetite to eat. my heart really felt heavy and everything seemed dark. that's how much education weighed to me. and when you think about it, it's not really education but also the reputation i thought i had to keep.

it was awful when i decided to stop school. i knew i had to because i couldn't walk or even sit up to study properly but it felt so terrible. i cried and cried and cried more whenever i saw my friends and classmates' posts. i decided to delete my social media apps and stopped replying to anyone. i immersed myself in food and watching kdrama and movies (especially since i had rewatched the virgin suicides back then and fell in love with the cinematography. i also loved hyouka and its animation, i spent days and afternoons thinking about it.). it's just like how the characters i related to dealt with the depression of being behind. we cut ourselves off from our old life. we do talk to friends from time to time but it's different, it's more distant. and it's probably not the best way but i got used to it, i finally let myself breathe and think that it's okay.

it's been two years already yet i still sometimes catch myself trying to catch up but reading about these characters now comforts me. i don't find enough content on people who take these "breaks" but everytime i find one, i feel like i'm able to breathe more. it's comfort. it's like listening to upside down by jack johnson. it makes me feel lighter.

[mottephobia-imagines]

Hi again. Can I get TodoBaku head-canons on them with an adopted daughter their co parenting and all that jazz?

Sure! ☺️ they’re going to be Pro-heroes in this one

Brace yourself, this is gonna be a long one-

—

TodoBaku Adopts a Child

Uh, they didn’t mean to

At this point, Todoroki and Bakugo are friends with benefits- they really don’t have a relationship as a priority due to their extensive amount of hero work, and really only use each other as stress outlets lmao

It doesn’t help though that they’re in the same agency and usually work together

Speaking of, they were patrolling together one night and they stumbled across some gang members in an alley way causing a ruckus

Of course they try to see what the racket’s all about and try to stop them

Todoroki set up a wall of ice in order to prevent the thugs from escaping, and while he traps them with ice he notices something in the corner of his eye

Two figures; one lying down and seemingly unresponsive to the smaller figure trying to shake them awake, their shoulders trembling with sobs

It takes him a moment to realize that that’s a child, trying to wake their parent up

Quickly assessing the situation with the thugs, he sees that Bakugo’s handling them just fine, and thus leaves to check on the two

Upon further inspection, the mother lying on the ground had a stab wound on her torso while her daughter cried in her pool of blood, screaming for her to wake up

Todoroki gently nudges the little girl and kneels down to her height, asking her if she’s okay or not

The little girl just gives him this heartbroken face, with hot tears streaming down her already soot-covered face; it makes his heart ache a little

He then takes notice of what she was wearing- a large, dirty, and tattered shirt with no visible footwear

The more he looks at the kid, the more his feels rage and sadness for her

“Don’t worry, little one. I’ll get you and your mom to the hospital. You’ll be safe.” He doesn’t believe his own words, the mother isn’t responsive and it’s likely she isn’t alive anymore

But he can still save the little girl

Todoroki ushers her into his arms as he calls for an ambulance and backup, noticing that Bakugo has already taken down all of the 10 or so thugs

“Oi, half and half! The hell do you think you’re- doing...” his rough voice falters as he takes in the gruesome scene of the mother and a child covered in, presumably, her blood

“What the fuck? What happened?”

“I don’t know, but it looks like they stabbed the mother and attempted to rob them.” “Did you call for backup dumbass?!” “Of course I did, I’m not that stupid.”

A slight banter occurs, but Todoroki tells Bakugo to at least be hushed about it, gesturing to the child currently sobbing into his shirt

The ambulance and police arrive, the thugs are arrested, and the ambulance quickly rushes the two to the hospital

Since the child isn’t willing to let go of Todoroki, he’s pretty much forced to ride in the ambulance with them

Bakugo, on the other hand, whether it be concern for the child, Todoroki, or both, follows along in a cop car (not arrested but like riding with a cop)

Unfortunately, the mother passed- they had gotten to her too late

The child, however, received no major injuries besides cuts and bruises on the soles of her feet all the way up to her knees, and it was evident she was homeless for a while

They had to pry her out of Todoroki’s arms just so they could examine her, and once they were done she made a b-line towards him and hugged him again

At this point Todoroki isn’t sure how to deal with the situation-

He hushes the little girl, whispering reassurance to her; she wasn’t crying anymore, which was a relief

Head buried in his chest, he heard the small, muffled voice of the child for the first time

“T-Thank you, mister hero...”

He smiles a little and looks down at her, her big eyes puffy and red

“It’s okay, little one. You’re safe now.”

From afar, Bakugo watched the sweet scene unfold, his face showing indifference yet his body somehow feels warm at the sight

“Tch. Half and half.” He grumbles, turning away from the scene and texting Todoroki that he’ll be at the agency sorting papers (although maybe it was just a distraction to rid him of that sickly feeling)

Soon enough, the little girl had fallen asleep in Todorki’s arms, and while he conversed with police he insisted on taking her home (“Its not like she’s gonna let go of me anytime soon, so might as well save some hassle and let her stay with me for a few days.”)

It’s only after he’s gotten back to his apartment and tucked the girl into his guest bed did he realize what he’d done

Oops, he basically temporarily adopted this kid

He isn’t mad at all, though; he’s kinda glad that they didn’t just take her and put her in the orphanage or a foster home- they were kinda really shitty places for children to be in (most of the time)

Then again, Todoroki is a stranger to her- that’s also pretty dangerous

When she wakes up the next morning, Todoroki greets her with a bowl of warm soba (really the only thing he knows how to cook lmao)

She’s shy at first, and doesn’t really talk much; though it’s apparent from her appetite that she hadn’t eaten for a long time

She finished her soba in less than half the time Todoroki finishes his, and low key he’s kinda impressed

He spends the earlier half of the day questioning her about who she is, what happened, her situation, and why it happened- although, he tried to make it sound as gentle as possible

Apparently, her and her mother had been homeless for a time and the gang just started attacking them out of nowhere; probably to steal what little money they had

Todoroki felt pity for the child- she was only what, 6 or 7 at the most?

Anyway, as lunch time rolled around Todoroki’s apartment door slammed open to reveal a slightly annoyed Bakugo

“You can’t just keep a goddamn child you saw on the street like that dumbass,” as soon as he onto the tatami floors, Bakugo ripped into the two-toned haired man, “And you can’t even properly feed them for fucks sake! Kids can’t eat soba all fucking day!”

Yeah, Todoroki was making them soba again

Bakugo shoved ushered Todoroki out of the kitchen and decided to cook a meal for all three, much to the confusion of both

Todoroki told him to shut his trap around the kid and Bakugo responded in kind, and yet again banter ensued- they made sure to leave out innuendos and most swear words tho

Somewhere in the middle of their banter, a small giggle could be heard from the little girl, making both stop for a second

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt..” she trailed, shutting her mouth and looking down apologetically

Oh boy, child has trauma-

Todoroki assures her that it’s okay and Bakugo goes back to cooking, and soon there’s a 5-course meal ready on the small table

It was silent until Bakugo actually took notice to the kid in the corner of his eye and almost choked when he saw what she was wearing

“DUMBASS WHY THE HELL IS SHE WEARING RAGS?! WHY DIDN’T YOU BUY HER SLME FUCKING CLOTHES?!”

“Stop swearing. I had that covered until you showed up.”

Thus, after lunch, Bakugo dragged both of them to the mall, grumbling the whole time and picking up only the best outfits for the little girl, and paying using Endeavor’s Todoroki’s card

Bakugo stayed at Todoroki’s apartment just so he can make sure Todoroki doesn’t feed her any more soba, and cooks one last time before he leaves

The little girl asks who the ‘big teddy bear man’ was, and it took all of Todoroki’s strength not to burst out laughing

“He’s a good friend of mine. He might be a bit rough, but he’s surprisingly sweet when you get to know him.”

From that night on, Bakugo visited everyday, under the pretense of ‘making sure the kid doesn’t die in that stupid oreo’s house’

Eventually he kinda just, lives there lmao; he has a bag of his stuff in the guest room where he sleeps, and spends multiple nights there

There’s another guest room belonging to the kid, who’s now officially pretty much Todoroki’s daughter lmao

Actually, sometimes Bakugo goes into Todoroki’s room and does the yknow with him, but also just talks to him (they’ve turned domestic smh)

The girl absolutely adores Todoroki, but takes a little while to warm up to Bakugo

Is the only one that can get away with calling him a big teddy bear actually lmao

She likes to braid Todoroki’s long hair (she thinks it’s really pretty)

Eventually the media catches up on this domestic debacle, and headlines are everywhere

“Pro Heroes Shoto and Ground Zero spotted leaving an apartment together with a child, could it be an adoption?”

“Relationship brewing between Shoto and Ground Zero after adoption?”

Word eventually gets around to friends and family, and one day Todoroki opens his door to find most of class 1A and his siblings

“...” “You know Bakugo’s here too right-“

Psh, they don’t care

Deku and Fuyumi are first to find the little girl behind the couch, a little scared from the loud strangers

She immediately warms up to them however, and stars calling Deku uncle in a matter or moments

Then there’s a Bakusquad, who’s she’s the most afraid of lmao

It’s not until she gets piggy back rides from Kirishima and plays along with Sero and Denki that she starts becoming less scared

Mina’s her favorite; they play dress up and do each other’s hair and nails, with the help of Uraraka and Tsuyu of course

Iida’s lecturing Todoroki on the importance of taking care of a child and how it’s a huge responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly and blah blah

Meanwhile Natsuo’s laughing while patting Todoroki’s back, congratulating him and jesting at the purple marks on his neck

It’s not long before Bakugo wakes up from all the ruckus

“WHAT ARE YOU FUCKERS DOING IN MY HOUSE?!”

“Our apartment, Katsuki.”

Hilarity ensues while a half-asleep Bakugo tries to protect his daughter and scare off the rest (it’s not working lmao)

They all (whether they like it or not) become designated babysitters for the little girl

Mostly Deku and Fuyumi though

God forbid anyone bullies this child lmao hell hath no wrath like a Bakugo scorned

If she wants to become a hero, Bakugo’s 100% supportive but Todoroki initially doesn’t want her to go through the training he went through as a kid, but eventually accepts her decision on the condition that her training isn’t as harsh

By the time she’s ready for high school, she’s already so much smarter than her classmates and has a really good grip on her quirk

Bakugo would totally help her set up fashion shows for her to show Todoroki (Bakugo has a sense of style idc what’s canon)

Todoroki would teach her some of the languages he knows (Highkey headcanon Todoroki as a polyglot)

She either becomes like Bakugo or Todoroki, there is no in between

Is probably very very smart, knows multiple languages and reads a lot

Might learn and instrument from Bakugo or Aunt Jirou

Becomes really close with Rei and the Todoroki side of the family

Gets spoiled by Mistuki a lot (clothes, toys, books- you name it)

Unrelated but if she wasn’t a hero, I’d totally see her being a band kid or theatre kid in school and a model/actress when she grows up

While raising her, Todoroki and Bakugo become more than just fuck buddies; they become closer to each other and eventually become each other’s rock

It takes a while for them to consider being officially labeled, but since they already act like a married couple anyways it won’t make a difference

All in all, very very chaotic but still a pretty loving and amazing little family

—

I should just write a fanfic lmao

I hope this was what you wanted! And I hope this wasn’t too OOC 😅

[drama-and-tv]

First half of 2020 tv shows/dramas completed

SO apparently, my original blog “may contain sensitive media” (how my original blog contains them, I have no idea because I don’t think I have ever written nor posted anything that is inappropriate) so here I am, making a new one even though there are just so so many thoughts I poured in that blog since the beginning of 2018. 

I wish I could put all of the contents from there here. But since I don’t know how to do that, I shall only put up my thoughts on the things that I have completed watching this year (2020) that I have put up from there.

With that being said, here they go... most of them in the original words that I had typed/written from last time. My only change will be the rating (now I shall use the numerical rating since I have figured how to rate things properly in numbers now) :

Season 2 of Sex Education was such a delight to watch! While I do feel that it lacks some Otis and Maeve’s interactions (and wtf is that cliffhanger?), I feel that the other characters are given the opportunity to flesh out and have really good story lines. Definitely a step up to Season 1!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

Bad news: The third part/season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is the worst part of the show that I’ve watched so far. Good news: I still somewhat like it.

The main issue of this new-released part is how messy it is story wise. There are far too many things going on that it felt a little bit too chaotic - like there’s the Pagan storyline, there’s that Faustus storyline etc etc. It’s just too much.

What makes me still enjoy it is because of its characters. I am attached to the characters and I wanna see their journeys in this show. For instance, Ambrose and Prudence are probably the standouts in this season because they are just super badass here.

Overall, it’s okay. I would still watch this show when the new set of episodes are released.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Honestly, Chocolate would’ve been better or ranked higher if they cut down the number of episodes - from 16 to maybe just 8.

Despite its melodramatic tone and ridiculous story line, I actually really enjoyed the initial episodes. I mean okay, the time jumps are a bit too much but I was sold on the emotions and the characters. It’s a melodrama, for crying out loud - it’s not meant to be realistic.

But then, for some unknown reason, it got draggy around the second half of the drama. And it affected my love for the drama. It was like they put a brake on the main plot and save for it the last episode (which it did).

This does not mean that it’s not a good drama. For the most part, I actually enjoyed it and I was invested in the characters’ journeys.

Just that it could be better.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Honestly, Black Dog was not a drama I thought of watching. The posters and the plot did not make me feel compelled to watch it because for some reason, I thought this drama would be something like those corruption dramas or corporate dramas - while I can enjoy those kind of dramas, I do have to be in the ‘mood’ to watch them.

It was only when I started seeing some gifs/images over Tumblr that I started to consider it. And when more and more people raved about it, I knew that I just have to check it out.

And just like what these people said, it was good. A really good drama, actually! I think what I love about this drama is how realistic it really is. I like that I can actually relate to the world and the characters in the drama. While Haneul and I don’t share the same type of field, I can empathise with her struggles in obtaining/maintaining her employment and sitting for the certification exam. I can empathise with how she tries to navigate the world of school and teaching.

All I know is I have definitely cried or teared up in some of the episodes. (that’s really a feat cause the last time I cried like this in a tv show/drama is season 3 of Anne with an E and we all know how I feel about that show.)

I also love how there is a good balance between drama and comedy in this drama. While this is primarily a drama, I like that it doesn’t feel heavy. It makes it easier to watch multiple episodes in one sitting.

If there is one minor problem with this drama, it is that it feels like the main drama ends with 12 episodes and the remaining 4 episodes are the epilogue or extra episodes. While the remaining 4 episodes are still pretty good, it has somewhat cooled my love for this drama. However, I do appreciate it and it gives a good look at what happened after Haneul’s first year of teaching.

With that, I have contemplated on whether to give this drama the best rating I could give in the drama or the second best. Considering that there is barely any flaw in this drama, I shall give it...

FINAL RATING: 10/10

Season 2 of Kingdom did not disappoint. It maintained the same energy and intrigue that it brought in the previous season. There’s the excitement, there’s the high-quality production and there’s never really a chance for it to falter or drag. Its pacing remains consistent and I remain hooked to the end. I also like that this show does not end in an agonising cliffhanger - it wraps up the main plot that was introduced in the first season and at the same time, teases on what is to come in the possible season 3.

Overall, a really good season!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

I gotta admit, Crash Landing On You was a pretty nice watch! I initially had quite low expectations for this drama - I have hard time being truly engaged in big budget romcoms because they tend to be unrealistic and too fluffy (and I like my dramas pretty realistic).

But to my surprise, I actually really like it. The episodes (particularly the first half of the drama) were candies to the mind and to the eye! Yes, this drama is hella trope-y and there’s a lot of moments which are very unrealistic and are there to be flashy and amp up the romance. But you know, something about this drama just works.

Of course, like a lot of k-dramas, the second half of the drama is less addictive to watch. But it was still a pretty good watch. I mean, it got my mum really addicted and my brother to finally watch a k-drama beyond Kingdom after all these years.

FINAL RATING: 8/10

For someone who doesn’t know shiz about baseball, Stove League was still a very good drama to watch. It has that underdog story (in this drama, the under-performing baseball team for 2 years in a row, Dreams) that makes it easy to root for. It remained tight and consistent throughout its run. Its tone is very balanced - has good balance of serious and comic relief.

And most importantly, it’s not very hard to like the characters that matter.

Overall, very solid drama!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

When the Weather is Fine is really a good drama to watch at the moment, during the midst of this current pandemic. Even though initially (the first episode) it did not win me over due the drama’s slow pace, I gradually enjoy watching it regardless of its pace and eventually, I was hooked.

This drama has a very calming and “healing” aspect to it even though the subjects dealt can be serious. I like that even though there’s some serious issues here, the drama remains well-balanced and still has plenty of light-hearted scenes. Lim Hwi (the male lead’s younger sister) is definitely my favourite character in this drama as she brings a lot of sunshine to the table with her innocent teen self. Also, the comforting presence of the community (whether it being the Good Night Book Club member or the people/families in the neighbourhood etc) along with naturally serene setting make the drama feels warm.

With that, I recommend watching this drama, especially to anyone who wishes to seek comfort and feel warm.

FINAL RATING: 8/10

Netflix’s Never Have I Ever was an unexpected treat for me. I did not know the existence of this show prior to its release. I did not see any of its promos/trailers etc. So there was no expectations whatsoever prior to watching it.

My brother and I only happened to stumble upon it when trying to find something to watch on Netflix. So you can say that this was a present that came out of nowhere because as soon as I just went into it (within the first few minutes), I already really like it!

This show was funny. It was relatable as someone who comes from an Asian background. And most importantly, it has plenty of hearts. Trust me, I was tearing up when watching the last two episodes of this season (I sincerely hope that the show will be renewed for the next season).

Definitely a really nice show to binge quickly as it only has 10 half-hour episodes.

FINAL RATING: 9/10

Find Me in Your Memory was a pretty decent watch. Yes, it is a very standard kdrama in the sense that the plot is very very generic and there are so so many obvious tropes here. However, its characters and the chemistry of the main leads still made it worth a look. This drama might not be the most unforgettable or unique drama out there, but it is very easy to watch and it makes a good addition to anyone’s watchlist if you want something straightforward and not complicated.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Man, A Piece of Your Mind could have easily been this perfect drama that I’ve ever watched this year had it only retained its original length. It is not to say that this drama is not good - it is as of now, actually one of the top dramas among the dramas I’ve watched this year.

This drama basically fits the type of drama I typically love: a realistic drama which examines more on its characters and focuses on emotions etc. Yes, I know people have complained that it is very slow but to me, that was part of its charm. I love slowly getting to know its characters and how they are feeling etc. I like being emotionally connected to them and follow on their journeys.

So I’m just sad the drama was cut from 16 episodes to 12 (reason being because of its low number of audiences). While the drama did its extreme best in making it work and it does not affect the main plot of the drama other than speeding things up nor does it really diminish my enjoyment for this drama, I’m just sad on what could’ve been if they were able to keep the extra 4 hours to the story. Like, we could’ve gotten better exploration on the characters etc (especially for instance that character who was played by the evil mother in law from Search: WWW and the Eunjoo’s Homestay residents and even frigging Hoon, Hawon’s colleague... like why was he even in the grandma’s house in the countryside?) . Things would’ve been more... organically unfold.

Despite all this, I still really enjoy watching this drama and I still remain invested in the characters’ journeys etc. Our main leads’ relationship feels warm and comforting. The vibe of this drama is just my kind of taste. And most importantly, I feel comforted watching it until the end.

FINAL RATING: 9/10

With that being said, those are some of the shows/dramas that I have completed up until now. Others that I have completed are season 2 of The Sinner (5/10), ITV’s Belgravia (6/10), Netflix’s The Circle France (soooo entertaining with plenty of drama and strategies, 8/10), season 18 of American Idol (8/10) and most recently, Netflix’s Extracurricular (I will eventually share my thoughts on it soon).

Stay tuned.

[ari-shipping-stuff]

Monochrome Week 2020

Day Three - Fake Dating AU

———

@monochromeweek

———

The night was alive. Colorful lights pulsing like a heartbeat. Lively disco music pumping everyone up like an adrenaline rush.

Weiss usually scoffed at parties like this. Ugh. Dance clubs. So crowded. No oxygen. But surprisingly, she found that she could finally stop holding her breath.

Henry wasn't there, forcing her to dance. Or talk about him. Or stay at his side at all times because he had no life. She could bop her shoulders to the music in content freedom. Full-out dancing had always been Ruby and Yang's forte. Which was why she stayed back at the bar to talk with Blake.

They hadn't seen each other in nearly a year, ever since Blake transferred schools, which was a shame, considering that was the year their friend circle had formed.

Weiss was the tech-savvy one of them four. She kept tabs on everyone's social media (even if they didn't want her to) and had noticed several changes on Blake's account. She was never one to post selfies. Just pictures of cute cats and her dark academia. And even if she didn't post anything in months, Weiss thought her latest picture was something worth noting.

She took a sip from her Jack Frost, swirling it around to play with the ice.

"How's Adam?"

Blake nearly choked on her drink, coughing when she put it down.

"What?" she croaked.

"When were you going to tell us about him?" Weiss tilted her head.

Blake sighed, rubbing her temple.

"We lasted like a month, Weiss; there's nothing to tell."

Weiss raised a brow. "A month, huh? What happened there? You guys looked pretty sweet in that photo together."

Blake snorted. "He posted that one. Wanted the world to know I was his whore."

"Sounds bad."

"It was bad. Still is. I broke up with him, but he's just not giving up," she grimaced, downing a gulp of purple cocktail. "Bastard."

Weiss snorted.

Pause. Then—

"Your dad still brainwashing that Marigold guy?"

Weiss groaned, throwing her head back in frustration.

"He doesn't even need my dad to tell him to do stuff anymore. He just goes ahead and thinks I'm infatuated with him or something. You know, that 'hard to get' mentality or something."

"Yeah, I know the type." Blake replied dryly.

"You think they'd leave us alone if we got into a relationship?" Weiss snickered.

Blake snorted. "Yeah, maybe."

They settled into a comfortable silence then. Weiss accepted that statement as the joke it was supposed to be. But it began to resonate in her head. The more she thought about it, the more it began to make sense in its own ridiculous way.

"Weiss?"

"Hm?"

"What are you scheming in there?"

Weiss paused. She downed the rest of her cocktail.

".. What if we did?"

"What if we what?"

"What if we were in a relationship?" she said. "That would get them to piss off."

Blake raised her eyebrows, glancing away nervously. She bit her lip.

"I.. I don't know, Weiss.." she said. "Seems a little extreme, don't you think? A-And are we even sure it'll get them to leave us alone?"

"But it makes sense!" Weiss exclaimed. "You know they won't take our word for it, Blake. Neither of them will get the picture unless they see that we're interested in someone else."

Blake drank down the last of her Purple Rain, deep in thought. Weiss distracted herself with the lavender glitter on Blake's eyeshadow.

Blake pulled her phone out of her pocket.

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "What're you doing?"

"Texting Yang. My place or yours?"

"Wh-What?"

Blake glanced at Weiss, standing up.

"So we can plan." Blake said. "We'd have to start as soon as possible, right?"

Weiss blinked up at her.

".. My place."

•

In all the years she knew Weiss, this was admittedly the first time Blake had ever been inside her room.

She thought it was regal-looking, to say the least. Perfectly cleaned. Icy white walls, silk curtains and sheets.. Like some ice castle.

Blake put down her bag, laying it next to the mountain of pillows at the head of the bed. She looked back at Weiss, only to see her pulling up a large frame of wood from a nearby chest.

Blake raised an eyebrow.

"Do you really need that corkboard?"

"Of course, we do!" Weiss said. "If we're going to make a game plan, we're going to have to do it properly!"

"You mean, we can't just do PDA and act like.. I dunno, Qrow and Clover?"

Weiss would've laughed at the inside joke, if not the circumstances. Instead, she shot Blake a sour pout. Which was far from the desired effect.

"Blake, if we're going to sell this to the public, you need to be serious about this," she scoffed, spreading out her arms for emphasis. "Like I said, we have to do this properly!"

"I am serious!" Blake exclaimed, crossing her arms. "If you're so experienced about stuff like this, why don't you tell me what your 'properly' means?"

Weiss blushed furiously, jabbing a finger at Blake. She opened her mouth, as if trying to say something. But nothing came out. She didn't know either.

Blake just sighed, propping herself on her arm.

"I'm starting to regret agreeing to this." she mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Weiss cried, crossing her arms defensively. "I'll have you know, I'd make a great fake girlfriend if you were actually cooperating with me!"

"Uh-huh."

Weiss huffed, looking away, a pout on her lips. But her gaze found her clock. Then her expression softened. She punched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.

"We've spent all this time arguing.. My father will be home soon, and we don't even have so much as a first move!" she groaned.

Blake looked towards the white alarm clock, wincing. 10:50.

"Alright, look," she spoke up, surprising Weiss. "Let's say our relationship started off as a secret. Several months ago. And by secret—"

"—Not even Ruby and Yang would know." Weiss finished. She nodded. "Yeah, that'll work. Then.. We're going to make us public."

Blake pursed her lips. "I.. I'll ask around about you. Pretend I'm interested. Get people talking. Would that work?"

Weiss nodded, the tiniest of smiles forming on her face. It was a little infectious, prompting a grin from Blake.

"And," Weiss added. "There's a party tomorrow night. Ruby and Yang's place. It's a little less of your scene, but if we're seen dancing together or holding hands, it'll probably do something."

Blake nodded. "Yeah."

"That should be all we have to discuss now." Weiss said. "We'll think of more at the party, alright?"

Blake nodded, standing up. She reached towards her bag, only to have Weiss get there first.

Weiss raised her eyebrows, laughing lightly, handing it back.

Blake smiled a bit, glancing to the side.

"Looks like we never needed the corkboard, after all."

Weiss glared at her. "Just shut up and leave."

•

This was a slightly smaller party compared to last night. There were a few dancers in the middle of the living room. But mostly, people were in pairs or three's; talking in the corners. Fairy lights. Finally, some punch that wasn't spiked.

Weiss lounged on a bean bag with her usual group, in a circle on the couches they claimed early. But instead of contributing whatever bizarre shower thought debate was going on, Weiss just sipped on her punch, her mind far away.

"Hey, Weiss?" Ruby whispered. She sat on the couch right next to Weiss, so she only had to turn her head.

"Hm?"

"Did you and Blake talk much last night?"

Weiss already knew what prompted this question. Though it didn't stop her heart from racing.

"I guess so, yeah." she shrugged, feigning nonchalance.

"It's been a while, huh?" Ruby grinned crookedly. "Since the four of us were together in one place."

"Yeah," Weiss sighed, turning to check the door. "It was."

"So why'd you two leave early?"

Weiss flinched from the question. She took her time in answering.

"Winter got worried. She called and told me to come home. Guess Klein didn't tell her where I'd be." she shrugged. "Blake just wanted to walk me home."

Ruby's smile grew at that. "Mhm.."

Weiss raised an eyebrow at her best friend, who swirled her punch around the red cup with her evil 'I'm planning something you definitely won't like' grin.

"Ruby.."

"Yes, Weiss?"

"Ruby."

She only giggled. She put her elbow on the armrest, with her face in her hand.

"Blake just texted us last night. Aand she was asking about you."

"Uh-huh. And?"

"And—" she raised her voice, prompting the rest of the party to join the conversation. "— it wasn't just me and Yang, Weiss. She texted all of us! Right, guys?"

There were collective sounds of agreement around the table. Weiss rolled her eyes.

"And?"

Ruby groaned.

"Well," Nora interrupted. "She kinda sounded like she was interested."

Ruby stood on the couch, gesturing to Nora with extreme exaggeration.

"Isn't she with that Adam Taurus guy you told us about, Weiss?" Jaune piped up. "The one in her picture?"

"They broke up." Weiss replied simply.

"Looks like someone asked." Yang smirked.

"Blake's fair game now." Nora added, sipping her punch.

If one could drink punch slyly, Weiss was certain Nora was doing it right.

"And Henry Marigold?" Oscar added quietly. He recoiled at the disappointed expressions he got from the majority of the group. "Not that I like him.. It's just that he's been pining for Weiss even before I got here. Wouldn't he take action?"

"So you do believe Weiss and Blake are getting together?" Nora asked, jabbing a chip in his direction.

Oscar shrugged. "Yes? I'm not Ren."

"Hey!"

Weiss sighed. Thank their lack of focus. At least, she wasn't being focused on anymore.

But then, as if on cue, Weiss caught the distant sounds of door chimes. She spun towards the door, and there she was, nervously recoiling into herself. It might've been the fairy lights, but Weiss could've sworn her cheeks were alight with pink.

She was about to get up to get her until she heard the obnoxiously loud coughing from behind her. Weiss gritted her teeth, smiling sarcastically at the group.

"And I suppose Blake just showed up because she wanted to?" Yang teased.

But as it turned out, Blake didn't wait for Weiss. She found the group herself, especially with Ruby's frantic waving.

"Blake!" she exclaimed, her voice reaching up a few more octaves. She gave Weiss a knowing sideways glance. "What brought you here~?"

Blake twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

"Oh, uh.. Weiss invited me last night."

"She did, did she?" Nora raised an eyebrow, elbowing Jaune excitedly.

Weiss buried her face in her hands miserably.

"Anyway.." Blake continued awkwardly. "I hope it's no trouble if I just, uh.." she reached down and gently grabbed Weiss's wrist. ".. Borrow Weiss for a minute?"

Yang cleared her throat.

Ruby grinned encouragingly, reaching up to whisper in Blake's ear. Whatever that was, caused Blake's face to grow increasingly red. She didn't say anything else and pulled Weiss up.

"Come on, Weiss." Blake sighed amusedly, dragging her to the dance floor.

Blake gingerly put her hands on Weiss's waist, bringing an intense blush to the shorter girl's face. She could still feel the burning gazes of her schoolmates in the back, and so desperately wanted to ignore it.

A cold jolt went up her spine when Blake took her hands, bringing them up to her shoulders. Weiss raised an eyebrow at her.

Blake could only shrug, looking down.

"You were zoning out." she mumbled.

Weiss nodded, moving forward, so that their bodies were touching.

It was Blake's turn to give her a questioning look.

Weiss hesitated, but she shrugged as well, laughing a bit.

"We look like we're being forced to dance."

Blake nodded. "Fair enough."

They swayed in silence from there, perfectly content in not talking. After a few minutes or so, Weiss saw cameras flashing in the corner of her eye. They were doing this for the public, weren't they? To shove it down the boys' throats.

Without a word, Weiss leaned her head on Blake's shoulder, breathing in a musk of honey.

"Convincing, right?" she whispered.

Blake snorted, a soft smile on her face.

•

They left as the party lost its swing. Blake's old school would certainly have something to talk about tomorrow. Weiss Schnee, leaving her Prince Charming for an old sweetheart. If Blake's friends weren't attending said school, she'd have no reason not to despise it.

Instead of heading home right away, they decided the night was still young and went to a restaurant near Blake's house. They were both so focused on their so-called 'photoshoot' they forgot to grab a handful of chips on the way out.

Next thing they knew, they were laughing so hard, they were choking on their sandwiches.

"I can't believe you would do me dirty like this!" Blake mocked, barely containing her laughter. "Oh, god, are you sure you guys were never together?"

"News spreads fast, doesn't it?"

"Especially when Ruby and Nora are the ones spreading it." Blake chuckled.

Weiss grinned. "Anything from your side?"

Blake snorted, shaking her head. "Honestly, I'm almost scared for when he does."

"Why's that?"

Blake shrugged, smirking sarcastically. "Let's just say he'd be far more intense than whiny texts."

Weiss frowned worriedly, tilting her head. Hesitantly, she laid a hand on Blake's shoulder.

"Blake."

Something churned in the pit of Blake's stomach. Not in a bad way. Like light little flips. Flaps. Butterflies. But she couldn't wrap her head around it. Maybe it was something in the way Weiss could say her name like that. It soothed Blake easily. Even if just a little.

"I'm fine." Blake sighed, taking a mournful bite out of her grilled cheese. "He just texted me earlier this morning."

"He did?" Weiss murmured. "What'd he say?"

Blake took her time in answering, chewing ever so slowly. When she finally swallowed, it felt sharp.

"Just.. He called me out for avoiding him. Even though I explicitly told him we were over, he still thinks entitled to me." Blake growled. "He denied stalking me, manipulated me, and now he has the gall to say I'm overreacting? He's just unbelievable!"

Weiss felt her blood boil. This guy walked all over Blake, called her the bad guy, even after all that? She couldn't wait to meet this guy. If only to break his legs.

She carefully brought her hand to Blake's, gently stroking the back with her thumb.

Blake's eyebrows raised at the gesture. Instinctively, she stretched her fingers outwards, fitting them between Weiss's.

"I'd never do that.." Weiss mumbled.

Blake didn't know the thought process of that statement, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

Then Weiss's eyes snapped up, meeting Blake's gaze. But Blake was losing her mind. Noticing everything.

Her heart stopped. She could smell Weiss's faint vanilla and petrichor musk. The usually-invisible specks of indigo in Weiss's large, sapphire eyes were easy to spot. As well as the faded scar running down her left eye.

This was the closest they've ever been to each other. Not just in the physical aspect. This was just so much more intimate than the dance somehow. Blake felt close to Weiss and it was driving her insane.

"Thanks."

———

this ended up being too long, which was why it took me ages to post. and this will also have a sequel on day five

though, this whole thing was my favorite to write ^^

— ari

———

part one | part two | part three | part four