#its been a minute since ive actually finished something w them huh

[verchielmarch]

Oh hey i know these guys. theyre gay

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[for-ests]

Always Enough- Peter Parker x Reader

Okay so this imagine was an anon request that I had previously posted, but I accidentally deleted. I didn't mean to, so here’s a re-upload. Happy finals & sorry my dumbass clicked the wrong button on tumblr mobile because im stupid

Summary (bc the request deleted w/ the post): The reader realizes she had been neglecting Peter because she was stressed over school. Peter thinks there might be another reason because she has become distant. Confrontation and angst follows!

Word count: 2, 360

✭♡✭♡✭♡✭

Finals were a killer, especially for a nursing major like yourself. The stress of it all made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Cry for hours until you couldn't cry no more. 

But that wasn't an option. What you dreamed of becoming, something simple, yet incredibly difficult, was growing out of reach. Your hours of studying had led you nowhere, only to barely tangible grades. Grades that were barely above average. You were disappointed, discouraged, and running out of options.

What else would you do with your life? Becoming a nurse was the only thing you had ever wanted to be, it was all you knew. Ever since aliens rained in the sky, your only motive was to help the ones who couldn't help themselves. But how could you ever hope to do that when you couldn't pass biochem?

What didn't help your anxious mind was the house you had to stress over, and your minimum wage restaurant job that didn't add to your required expertise. Tears welled in your eyes as you remembered you had to lay a payment down on your ever-increasing student loans. Maybe college wasn't for you. Perhaps it was never meant to be. Your summer money was running out and fast.

Just breathe. You repeated. I don't have time to cry.

You could cry after you studied. And right now, you had barely glanced at your flashcards for more than ten minutes. It seemed like you were paralyzed, sitting in bed with your flashcards scattered around you, all of them laid out and waiting for involvement.

Just as you were about to pick up the first card, your phone buzzed beside you. Instinctively, you glanced at it, your heart dropping when you saw Peter's name flash across the screen.

Date. You had a date night, and you forgot.

"Fuck!" You cursed out loud, the tears you had tried so hard to control seeming to burst over your eyelids. How could you forget?

Peter: I'll be there in 15 minutes :D

You replied immediately, glancing at yourself in the phone's reflection. You looked terrible and distraught beyond compare.

Y/N: Peter…im so sorry I forgot, i'm not ready

Peter: oh

Y/N: i have a huge exam soon, maybe its for the best that we rain check? i'm sorry I know ive done this before but im really stressed about it

Peter: we havent talked for days, y/n, i think theres more going on than what youre telling me

Y/N: what? of course not wtf

Peter: im coming over anyways, ill be there soon

Y/N: why?

Peter: we have to talk.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach. Those words were what you had been dreading, and all focus you had managed to gather vanished into thin air. You knew you had been neglecting Peter's affections. Even if every fiber in your being wanted to make him the single most important thing in your life.

It had been almost a week since you'd seen him, and honestly, it was painful in the most innocent way.

But Peter didn't have to worry like you did. He was gifted and already had his entire life ahead of him, set in the middle of Stark industries. But you never asked for a handout, you never asked for help. Even though you knew he was the smartest young man around. You were proud to be his, and the thought of that disappearing was more detrimental to you that failing your upcoming exam.

Y/N: ok, front door is open

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at this point. You had been with Peter for over a year and had gone without seeing him for longer, but he was right. This time was different. This was the third date you had canceled without wanting to, but sometimes apologizing wasn't enough. Peter deserved a lengthy explanation of what you were really going through.

You were so used to holding back your emotions, that times like this were an occasional reoccurrence. You had always been so afraid of unloading your burdens onto others that you still sometimes forgot that having a boyfriend came with that perk. He was still going to love and cherish you if you asked for help and advice. Hell, you needed to realize that he wanted to.

That was a factor of why you were so in love with Peter. He always listened, and sometimes, even push the truth out of you when he could tell you needed it.

"You're already crying, huh." A sad smile was on Peter's face as he opened the door. His sudden appearance startled you, and you managed to chuckle despite the circumstances.

"You know me." You sniffled, immediately embarrassed by the state he had caught you in. Instinctively, you brushed your hair to the side and dabbed the tears from under your eyes. You could feel the remnants of Make-up drying to your skin.

"I didn't mean to ruin your study-"

"But we need to talk." You finished, shoving your school supplies to the edge of the bed. You made enough room, so he was able to sit comfortably.

Slightly embarrassed, you kept your gaze averted as best as you could. Just Peter's presence made your heart flutter, and a part of you was trying to prepare for the worst. You might really lose him this time. And for what? Yes, school was incredibly important, so, so important. But so was Peter, and you needed to find a balance.

Your silence was enough to beckon Peter's thoughts into the open.

"I just need to make sure you're still serious… about us." His voice was soft as if it was struggling to stay neutral.

Finally, gaining the courage to look at him, you locked eyes. Peter's gaze was heavy and forthcoming, and it took all of your willpower to swallow the knot in your throat.

"Of course, I am." The conviction was entirely evident in your tone. So much so, that Peter fell silent. His accusations seemed to die in his throat, but he knew that if he didn't get them out now, they would creep back to him later.

"It's hard to tell sometimes," Peter muttered, unable to gaze at your confused expression. You looked so hurt.

Your silence beckoned him to continue.

"I haven't properly talked with you in a week. You've canceled our last three dates… it seems like you never want to hang out with me anymore."

Peter winced. He was a grown man, and he sounded like a child. Yet, he had let so many things slide, hoping you would come around, hoping you would make it up to him. Perhaps he had been selfish to only think of himself in the relationship. He failed to realize that maybe in attempts to please him, you were putting your own future on the line. 

"I know you're going through a lot, but you can't even seem to talk about it." Peter's shoulders felt tense, his eyebrows knitting together in an agitated expression. His leg was bouncing up and down uncontrollably. He looked like he was about to burst.

"I'm sorry." You said, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. Pausing, you tried to gather your thoughts into cohesive sentences that would soothe his anxious mind.

"There's nobody else, right?" He suddenly blurted, actually turning his head to look at you. Insecurity was glazed in his eyes for the first time.

"Why would you even think that?" You said, startled. The question felt as if he had shoved your head underwater and held it there just long enough for you to choke on the liquid.

His expression was blank for the first time. Vulnerability at its finest. "My life isn't perfect, you know. I overthink just like you. I need reassurance."

Peter was so calm, so calm that it worried you. Though you were already afraid of how this conversation would go, it hurt you to realize that this conversation was the result of your actions. You failed to make Peter feel special like you had promised. Like he had promised you. Relationships go both ways, and for the last couple of weeks, it had only gone one.

"No, Peter. There will never be anyone else."

He sighed, relaxing slightly. "You've been acting weird. I don't really know what to think."

"I told you a billion times, I'm studying. After work, that's literally all I do. And I need to focus."

"I feel like there's more. It feels weird to not see a text from you when I wake up. It feels weird to not hear your voice. I don't… I don't like it, Y/N. Even if that's selfish."

And selfish it was. Peter expected you to be transparent while he was hiding possibly the biggest secret in the world. Maybe that was why he was so worried about how much you loved him. Peter wanted to be honest with you. He wanted you to know he was spider-man, but right now, he still couldn't bring himself to. Perhaps he was looking for a reason.

"I'm sorry." Your hands were clenched in your lap. "I've never had to deal with this before. Everything is so new, even if we've been together for a year. I've never cared about anyone like this, and I can't manage my time."

Peter paused as if every word in this conversation pained him to no end. His eyes were glossy, his mind unclear. He was desperately trying to understand why you were isolating himself. "You can't make any time for me?"

"That's the thing, I can't focus on anything else when I'm with you." Your lip quivered. "And that's a problem."

"It's not for me." He said quickly. "I make time for you, and you don't for me. And you need to tell me why."

You glanced away, embarrassed. No matter what you said, the reason wouldn't be good enough. You were just a bad girlfriend.

Peter reached his hand out and pulled you to him. You rested your chin upon his shoulder, soothed to feel his warmth once again. "You need to tell me, Y/N. We've made it work for this long, and all of a sudden, it stopped."

Your body started to shake. Trying to muffle your sob, you brought your hand to your mouth. It was all too much.

"-You have your whole life together, Peter. I have nothing, I still have to work for it. I'm not as smart as you, I'm-"and that's when the tears started to flow. It was a literal flood, tear after tear poured over your eyelids until they were bloodshot, until pressure pounded through your head.

Before you could finish, your face was pressed against Peter's chest. He held you tightly, his sweatshirt dabbing up your tears of sorrow. You gripped tightly to him, releasing the stress that had been building up inside of you for the last two weeks.

He did not know what else to do. Showing you that he loved you seemed like the most viable option. Sometimes all you had to do was listen, and that was enough.

"I got a bad grade on my midterm exam, one that I didn't study for because I spent my time with you—I thought-"

"Shh." He stroked your hair, understanding what you meant without a complete explanation.

"I work so hard, and it's never enough-"

"It's always enough, Y/N."

"I got so caught up in it that I neglected you in the process. So much so that you thought I was cheating on you" you inhaled sharply, whimpering against him, so many different emotions swirling through your mind. "You're the best thing in my life, and I put you second…"

"Look at me, Y/N." He cupped your cheeks in a swift movement, forcing you to look at him through tear-filled eyes. "You are enough for me. That's why I bothered to have this conversation with you. That's why I care." He pressed his lips against your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Peter." You tilted your head up to kiss him wholly on the lips. You were a mess, but Peter had always told you that you looked beautiful when you cried.

"Rosy cheeks." He whispered, patting down your hair, inhaling your scent, and appreciating the beauty you constantly radiated.

You chuckled, sniffling loudly. Peter always said that after you had a successful mental break down, your cheeks brandished a rosy shade.

"Shut up." You whispered, tightening your grip around his torso. His back fell against your bed, and you shifted to lay completely on top of him. The firmness of his chest underneath you caused instant relaxation, instant relief. Maybe, just maybe, being in his presence was enough to get rid of the stress from everyday life.

The corners of your eyes were raw and red, yet it complimented your shade. Peter vowed from the moment he had met you, that he would never let any harm come to you. The last thing Peter had ever expected was that he might be the reason, instead of the world.

At least, for now, he had the power to fix it. You were the love of his life, and he had never felt so gratified to be in anyone else's presence.

Peter's fingers traced light, small circles on your back. He could hear your heartbeat slow. The softness of your finger against his was enough to help him close his eyes.

He was at peace, real peace for the first time in weeks.

"We need to remind ourselves to talk about shit more." You mumbled sleepy, almost inaudible. "So this doesn't happen again, because I hate it."

"Me too, babe." He whispered, content with watching you rise and fall in sync with his breathing.

"I couldn't bear to lose you."

[yeollieayheehoo]

Circles

Authors note: This is my very first request! “ can i request a taehyung and reader angst? it can be whatever you want it to be, i just want some good ole angsty angst. “ Thanks anon. One angst for you 

Summary: This is never easy, losing a life. 

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader (female)

Genre: angst

Rating:  PG

Warnings: explicit language, mention of life loss, miscarriage, 

Word Count: 2.1K

The lights are too bright.

The walls are too white, and the room practically glows around you. You can’t help but wonder if it’s the remnants of the souls that have died in this room, finding the sheetrock a reasonable substitute to shine their light, their bodies failing them.

You wonder if your child will find their way back to this room, or if they will find another room in this hospital to illuminate.

Beside you your husband answers the nurse’s questions, your voice failing you. Your husbands’ hand is tight in yours, his tan skin seeming darker than usual against yours, which has turned white too. You hope that you will join this room also, when your body too fails you.

You can hear the nurse say she’ll be back, and you close your eyes, unable to look at the orbs that spin in front of your eyes. Your husband presses a kiss to the back of your hand, tells you he’s going to call his mother, and leaves you alone in the room with the last three hours running through your head.

 “What do you want for lunch?” Taehyung places his left hand on your hip, clasping his right hand with your left and sways from side to side, grinning brightly at you, pleased with his impromptu dance in your living room.

“Cheese sticks.”

“Cheese sticks, huh?” You giggle as he spins you, imagining the music in his head and leading you to an unknown beat. “Oooh, and a milkshake. God I could kill for a vanilla milkshake right now.”

“Murder is still illegal my love, but I could probably do something about the milkshake and cheese sticks.” You hum in consideration as your free hand slides it’s way from his shoulder to play with the hair kissing the nape of his neck. “Does it count as murder if you’re pregnant? Because the tiny human in me is the one demanding, thus the one responsible for the murderous need for a milkshake.”

“I love when your lawyer comes out.” Taehyungs voice is teasing as he leans forward and presses his lips softly against yours. He puts the hand he’s holding over his shoulder before letting his fall to your waist, pads of his thumbs rubbing small circles into the skin of your stomach.

The doorbell interrupts your moment and you cant help but smile at Taehyungs pout as you pull away. “It’s open! You don’t have to ring every time you come over Joonie.”

“After the time I found you two procreating, I’ll ring, thanks though.” Namjoon walks through your door with both hands full of bags. “Did Christmas come early this year?”

“For you? No. For the tiny human invading your womb right now? Absolutely.”

“You know, the two of you could refer to that tiny human as our baby. That is a thing.” Taehyung moves, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. His fingers are splayed across your stomach, where they’ve been unable to stay away for more than a few hours since you told him the news of your pregnancy.

“Yeah, but tiny human is cuter than baby.” Namjoon shrugs as he sets the shopping bags down on your living room table and settles in the chair that’s dubbed as his.

“He has a point.” Taehyung sighs and kisses your cheek before pulling away and grabbing his keys from the kitchen counter. “Cheese sticks and a vanilla milkshake, anything else?”

“Just for you to come home safely.” You smile sweetly at your husband and pull him by his hand back to you, kissing him gently. He hums against your lips before stepping back and moving to the door. “Always my love. I’ll be back.” He leaves with a backwards shout of love and you turn your attention to your best friend when the door closes. “What is all of this?”

“I know you don’t know what you’re having yet, but I figured whatever you don’t need you could save for the next kid. It’s not like it’ll go out of style, I have great tastes obviously.” Namjoon gestures to himself and laughs before leaning forward. “But seriously, I figured you could just put the boy clothes away until you have a boy, or vice versa.” You ruffle Namjoons’ hair before ignoring the couch and sitting on the floor, reaching for one of the bags in front of you.

He’s gone all out. It takes you thirty minutes to sort through the clothes Namjoon has bought, splitting them by gender and then by age range. You’re finishing folding the last pair of jeans for the boy pile when your phone rings and you’re quick to your feet to grab it as Taehyungs’ ringtone echoes in your kitchen. It ends before you can get to it and as you go to redial, Namjoons’ hands catch your elbows as your knees give out beneath you.

“We need to get you to the hospital.” The room spins as he speaks and his voice sounds garbled, like he’s miles away from you instead of three inches. You drop your phone as you press the heels of your palms against your eyes, shaking your head. “I-I’m okay. It’s just a dizzy spell.”

“Y/N, you’re bleeding.” This, you hear perfectly, words spinning around in your mind as the world slows down. Your eyes dart to the spot you were sitting at on the floor, the bright red stain almost puddling against your light brown hardwood floor. You follow the drips that stop at your current location, red trail marking its way down the legs of your jeans.

“I can’t, that’s not..” You stumble over your words as your mind tries to process what’s happening. You can feel the color drain from your face as your breath quickens and the walls of your home close in on you. Namjoons’ hand is hot against your back, almost too hot as shock settles into your bones and you realize what’s happening as Taehyung walks in through the front door.

“Y/N?!” You can hear the panic in his voice as he rushes over, all but throwing the food you’d asked for on the table. “I’m going to start the car. She needs to go to the hospital.” Taehyungs hands replace Namjoons’ and you find that your body is stiff as he pulls you against him. “I’m going to carry you, put your arms around my neck.”

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” Apologies pour from your mouth before you can stop them, body on autopilot as Taehyung lifts you bridal style and holds you to his chest. “Shhh, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for.” His voice is soft against your hair as he carries you to the car, instructing Namjoon to grab your purse from the coat rack as he goes to close the door.

Taehyung shuffles into the back seat with you, keeping his fingers laced with yours as Namjoon speeds through traffic, weaving in and out of cars, ignoring the horns that come his way. Your mind races as you try to remember if there was a warning, if there was a pain, something you ignored, but nothing throws itself at you. All you can think of are the piles of clothes you folded and the warmth of Taehyungs hands against your stomach.

 Everything turns to a blur by the time you get to the ER and you’re no longer sure if this is reality or some cruel joke your mind has decided to play on you. Your body trembles, though from the blood loss or the actual temperature of the mid-day fall breeze you don’t know. It’s not until you’re loaded on a stretcher and wheeled through the waiting room that your body goes numb, senses shot into over drive, and the laughter of the little girl you pass who’s sitting with her mother makes your mind shut down as you pass through the double doors of an operating room.

 “Y/N? Can you hear me?” You’re pulled from the memory of cold steel pressed against your skin and back into the too white room, Taehyungs’ eyes wide with worry.

“What did I do wrong?” Your voice finally breaks, bottom lip quivering as the dam breaks. “What did I do? I’m sorry Tae, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I killed our baby.”

Your husband is quick to climb into the hospital bed with you, careful to avoid the wires of your IV. His hands are warm when he pulls you to his chest as your body trembles, sobs racking through your being as you hide your face against his shirt. “You didn’t, my love. You didn’t kill our baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. It just wasn’t time, the world wasn’t ready for them yet. It’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.”

 You don’t say anything as you’re discharged, Taehyung listening carefully as the doctor explains what you can and cannot do, taking the list that’s offered to him. Namjoons’ tired face greets you in the waiting room, giving your hand a squeeze as he says nothing, opening the car door for you as Taehyung pushes you in the wheelchair to the back seat. It smells like lemon and you know that Namjoon has spent the hours you were in hell trying to clean.

The ride back home feels like a nightmare. The sun has set and the moon struggles to shine through the overcast of clouds and you know all too well what that feels like.

Your home has the same lemon scent, and you find yourself grateful this time for it. The living room table is empty, not how you left it and you furrow your brows. “Where are all of the clothes?” Your voice is scratchy, throat raw.

“I put them away…I didn’t think you’d want to look at them.” Namjoon regards you warily, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck as you glare at the once full table. “Take them back, get a refund for them.”

“We can talk about it later, you need to rest.” Taehyung hand is gentle against your elbow, a stark contrast from the way you pull away from him violently. “I don’t want to talk about it later. There’s nothing to talk about. They’re just going to go to waste. Get your money back Namjoon.”

“Keep them.”

“For what? To save for later? There won’t be a later. I’m done. I can’t do that again. I refuse.” You can feel the tears before they well in your tear ducts, the tingling sensation climbing from your cheeks and up your nose. “You heard what she said Taehyung. A twenty five percent chance to make it to full term. Twenty-five. That means three out of four tries are going to end up right back here and I can’t go through that. I can’t sit here and try again just to feel the life we made together die inside me.” Your voice cracks at the last word, and you stumble back against the couch as your legs give out from under you. Taehyung rushes towards you, kneeling down in front of you as you bury your face in your palms.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now. We aren’t going to talk about this right now. “

“Just leave me alone. Please.”

“You don’t need to be alone right now.”

“For fucks’ sake, just leave me the fuck alone!” You don’t mean to yell, don’t mean to be this angry, don’t mean to take it out on your best friend or husband, but you do. When it’s clear that neither of them are going to move, you do, finding solace in the bathtub of your extra bathroom.

 It’s hours before Taehyung knocks on the door, silently stepping into the room and sitting in the bathtub across from you, knees touching yours as he plays with your fingers. You don’t know how long the two of you stay like this, the silence growing into something ugly, coating the walls and turning the air around you heavy. “You need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Y/N-“

“I meant what I said Taehyung. I’m not trying again. If you want kids, have them with someone else.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes. I do.” Taehyungs hands stop moving against yours because he knows. He knows you’re serious, knows you’ve made up your mind. If he’s learned anything in the last two years it’s that you don’t go back on your decisions. He sighs as he leans his head back against the shower wall, feeling defeated because he knows.

He knows you’re done.

[shels-kpop-main]

Moments, part 11

Word Count: 3146

Warnings: None. A little angst and fluff so soft

A/N: Please let me know what you guys think! Things will be heating up in the next chapter, but I had to get this last bit of fluff out of my system. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, send me an ask!

You stayed in Roger’s room the rest of the night, leaving only to retrieve the plate of food from the living room table. Upon returning with it, you set it on the bed between yourself and Roger, and the two of you shared it. After eating, the two of you stayed up talking for several hours. When you finally reached for Roger’s wrist to check the time, it was almost one in the morning.

But you didn’t leave. You just wove your fingers through Roger’s, and laid over. He did the same, and you fell asleep there. Curled up and facing each other, with your hands meeting in the middle.

You woke up to bright sunlight coming in through the window. You were still laying above the covers, but a wool blanket had been thrown over you and tucked under your feet. Your hand, previously holding onto Roger’s, was now loosely curled around his collar, the backs of your fingers pressed to his chest. You inhaled deeply, still half-asleep, but awake enough to appreciate being surrounded by things that smelled like Roger. Including Roger, who was still sound asleep across from you.

He had an arm draped over your waist, and the other rested next to his face on the pillow. You slowly pulled your hand from his shirt and touched his cheek instead. His face was warm to the touch, and smooth. You brushed your thumb softly from side to side, and this was enough to stir Roger a little. He opened his eyes slowly, only about halfway. His hand pressed to your back a little more firmly as he smiled.

“Morning, love.” His voice was husky from sleep, but it was offset by the look in his eyes. You twirled a strand of his hair between your fingers, and scooted a little closer to him.

“Good morning.”

The two of you stayed there for a few minutes, before you got up to go change. You smiled at Roger’s groans of complaint when you rolled out of bed. When you emerged from his room, still wearing your clothes from the night before, you looked down the hallway before hurrying up the stairs. The house was quiet, and it seemed that everyone had gone downstairs for breakfast already.

Which was good; you didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. God forbid someone see you coming out of Roger’s room in your clothes from the previous day and think you’d slept with him. It wasn’t anyone’s business, but knowing the guys, they’d tease you both out of the county for getting caught on a walk of shame.

The following week passed in a blur of messily-written new songs, a fresh series of photo prints, and many, many stolen kisses from Roger. He’d often pull you aside after dinner to press a trail of kisses from your mouth to the collar of your shirt. If Roger ducked outside for a smoke break during recording sessions, you’d grab him by the chin and pull his mouth to yours.

You’d somehow managed to never be found during these moments aside, but the guys weren’t stupid. They noticed the light smear of lipstick on Roger’s mouth when he came back inside. They noticed the looks you two shared over the dinner table. But you didn’t care. Being around Roger was the closest thing you had ever experienced to happiness with another person.

And however much you didn’t care, Roger cared even less. He mentioned your photography to the guys frequently, telling them about a particularly good (“bloody brilliant, you guys!”) shot you’d taken during rehearsals. He asked Deacy for advice on how to formally ask you out, to which Deacy rolled his eyes but told Roger everything he had done successfully with Veronica.

So, five days after he first kissed you by the fence outside the farm, Roger came to your door with another bouquet of dahlias.

“These are beautiful, Roger. Thank you.”

You beamed at the pretty, pink blooms in Roger’s hand and leaned in to kiss him. He accepted the kiss gratefully, immediately leaning down to you. You fidgeted with his collar, reveling in the sweet and smoky taste that you’d come to associate with Roger. You pulled away to take the flowers to the vase atop your dresser, smiling to yourself.

Roger closed the door behind him while you fiddled with the flowers. When you turned back to him, he was running a hair through his hair nervously.

“Something on your mind?” You raised an eyebrow and walked back over to him. Roger let out a breath, and shoved his hands in his pockets. His body language was starting to make you nervous, and you folded your arms.

“Yes, actually. I, uh… Whew, sorry,” Roger chuckled nervously. You must have looked concerned, but Roger’s face softened, he quickly reached forward to rub your arms.

“Everything’s alright, love,” he assured you, hands settled at your elbows. You gave him a half-hearted smile, still afraid of what he might say next.

“I just haven’t done this in a while with someone I care about,” Roger explained. You were just confused at that point, and waited for him to finish. His hands fell back to his sides.

“I, uh… I wanted to know if you’d like to go to dinner with me?” Roger rushed through the last few words, and it took you a moment to process what he said. But then, when his words hit you, you burst out laughing out of sheer relief. Roger gave you a confused frown, his eyebrows slanting with concern. You placed a hand on your chest, as if to steady your rapidly-beating heart. But then you flung your arms around his neck and kissed him fully.

“Roger Taylor,” you laughed, pulling away, “you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“What, what’d I do?” Roger smiled a little, putting his arms around your waist. You shook your head, grinning up at him.

“You got all serious, and scared me!” You answered, giving him a light shove to the chest. Roger laughed, and a light blush came to his cheeks.

“Well, I was nervous! Been a moment since I’ve properly asked a girl on a date!” Roger replied, pulling you closer. Your hands fell to his collar, as they often did when Roger was holding you close like that. It was cathartic, in a way, to play with the fabric while you talked to him. It was grounding for the both of you.

“Did you think I would say no?” You cocked an eyebrow at him. Roger shrugged, clasping his hands on the small of your back.

“Well, not necessarily,” he smirked. You shook your head at his cockiness, smiling coyly. But Roger became serious again, brows furrowing.

“So, is that a yes?”

You rolled your eyes, and moved your hands up to weave into his hair.

“Yes, Roger,” you kissed him, “I would love to go to dinner with you.”

So Roger took you into town the following night, insisting that you both dress up for your first date. It was incredibly endearing to watch his face light up when you came down the stairs in your only formal dress. It was a navy blue cocktail dress, and although it wasn’t your favorite look, it gave you great joy to see Roger’s mouth fall open. He fidgeted with his cuffs a little as you approached him, and the thought of this cool, arrogant rock star being nervous for a date made you smile.

Roger drove you to a swanky restaurant in town, telling you to wait while he jogged around the car to open your door for you. The meal went well, and the two of you stayed there, talking and drinking, until well after dark.

You were happy. You and Roger still hadn’t slept together, at his behest, but you hardly had time to be annoyed with him. The two of you spent your free time walking around the farm, arms around each other, talking about anything that came to mind. Late nights stretched into early mornings, with you and Roger usually falling asleep in your room.

At some point, Roger had brought his guitar up to your room, to play you a new song he was trying to write. You loved the song, but sleep overtook you as you lay sideways next to him while he played. Roger simply leaned his guitar against the chair your camera was sitting on, and laid down next to you, falling asleep shortly after.

But those idyllic days on the farm were numbered. And you both knew this. But still, you and Roger enjoyed the bucolic lifestyle that came with staying at the farm.

One day, as the completion of the album drew nearer, you were sitting in the studio box with your camera as the guys recorded in the live room. The phone next to the soundboard rang between takes, and the audio engineer reached over absentmindedly to pick up.

“H’llo? Uh-huh. Yeah, she’s right here.” And with that, the guy handed you the phone and returned to his work. You frowned, holding the receiver, unsure of who would be calling you. But when you pressed your ear to the phone, a familiar voice crackled across the line.

“Hello?”

“Oh, thank God. Why haven’t you called me?” Your mom sounded fretful. You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Hi, Mom.”

“It’s been two weeks since you’ve called. I was worried sick!”

“I’m sorry, Mom, it’s been crazy here. I didn’t mean to worry you. Did Uncle Jim tell you about my photography?” You attempted to deflect, but your mother was worked up, and ignored your question.

“And when are you coming home? You’ve been there for two months.”

“I don’t know, Mom. Wasn’t the whole point of staying here, to get away from everything?”

Your mom huffed out a sigh. “Well, yes, for a brief escape. Not to just move to England forever!” You rolled your eyes, already finding the conversation overlong.

“I’m not gonna be here forever,” you replied, exasperated. “It’s just that I’m waiting to hear back from the record company. The band’s manager wants to use my photos to promote the album, and they’re going to call any day. To tell me which pictures they want to use,” you trailed off, hoping your mom would appreciate the good news. But she was determined to be upset.

“Have you taken any classes?”

“I—well, no.”

“Gotten a job?”

“Potentially, weren’t you listening?” You were starting to get annoyed.

“It just seems too good to be true. If they like your pictures, what then? You just stay there, with the rock stars? Living in a dream, like you’ve been doing?”

For some reason, that statement really bothered you. Maybe you were just irritable at being faced with reality. Maybe it was the tone she took, or the way she worded it.

But you found yourself more determined than ever to make something of this getaway. Because your time on the farm had become meaningful to you. It wasn’t just an escape. You weren’t just living in a dream.

You were recovering.

Recovering from the shock you’d undergone at the loss of your dad. Recovering from the shift in your worldview. Recovering from the guilt you’d piled on yourself since that day in the hospital room with the beige floors.

“You know what,” you began, through gritted teeth. “It is like living in a dream. I have friends here now. I have Uncle Jim. I have—”

You looked up at that moment, to see Roger in the live room. He was saying something to Brian, a wide smile across his face. The sight of him brought you out of the haze of anger, and you experienced a splitting moment of clarity. No matter what, being here was worth it.

“I have everything I need here,” you finished, in a gentler tone. Mom exhaled, and you heard it, miles away, across the Atlantic.

“You’re living in a bubble, Y/N. Please come home.”

The sincerity of her tone caused you to falter. Your eyelids fluttered as you pulled your gaze away from Roger. He was joking with Freddie, who was doing a ridiculous pose on the drum risers.

“I will, Mom. When I’m ready.”

“Okay. I love you,” she replied, sounding defeated.

“I love you, too,” you said flatly, and hung up.

You had forgotten you weren’t alone until the sound engineer gave you a concerned side eye. You folded your arms.

“Sorry, Todd. Don’t tell anyone?”

The sound engineer named Todd nodded as he fiddled with the switches on the board. For all his stoicism, you were certain he could keep a secret.

“Thanks.” You left the building with tears in your eyes. Roger looked up toward the control room just as you picked up your camera. He could tell, even at a distance, that something was wrong. He knew your face well enough to tell that you were trying not to cry. You avoided looking at the guys as you exited the control room and ducked through the door without a word.

You were tired of being a mess in front of everyone, so you resolved yourself to sobbing out your frustrations in your bedroom.

Roger was staring at the door the entire time he played, even as the band finished recording their song. He wanted to go after you, but wasn’t sure if you wanted time alone. The guys noticed the funny look on his face, but didn’t say anything. When the session was wrapping up, Brian finally spoke up.

“What happened with Y/N?”

“God knows,” Freddie said, not really paying attention. He was still sitting at the piano, scribbling something on a loose piece of paper. “Anyone up for drinks in town?”

Roger ignored Fred’s question, looking from Brian, to Deacy, to the door you’d exited. Deacy had enough of Roger’s cluelessness, and broke the silence. “Oh for God’s sakes—go after her, Roger,” he told Roger, exasperated, pointing at the door. “See if she needs anything.”

“Right,” Roger responded quickly, rushing to get around his drums. Deacy rolled his eyes, but his heart was warm. Roger’s intentions were good, even if he needed a little encouragement sometimes. He found you in the attic, trying to fix something on your camera that wasn’t broken. By the time you walked to your room, the lump in your throat had disappeared. But you were still uneasy.

“Hey, love,” Roger’s soft voice hummed through the wide room.

“Not now, Roger.”

“Yes, now,” he insisted stubbornly. You frowned at him, still holding your camera.

“What happened?”

“My mom called.”

You were met with confused silence from Roger.

“She said I’m living in a dream, that I can’t stay here forever,” you sighed. It seemed this sentiment had not occurred to Roger either, and his face fell. But after a moment of thought, his eyes sparked.

“Maybe not, but that’s not the end of things. We can make it work,” he told you, looking hopeful and a little excited. You frowned at the floor, then at the Nikon in your hands. Before you realized what you were doing, you pulled the camera to your face. It created a barrier, gave you some control.

But through the lens, you saw Roger sigh and step nearer to you. He reached out and gently pushed the camera down, away from your face. You frowned, refusing to make eye contact.

“Don’t hide. You were so certain before. What happened to that?” His voice was low, gentle. It made you want to cry again.

“My mom,” you answered bitterly, looking him in the eyes. But Roger was confused, and stayed silent.

“She’s got a point, Rog. We’re living in a bubble. Eventually, I’m gonna have to go home, and you’re gonna have to tour.”

“Well, she’s half-correct,” Roger admitted. You frowned, unsure of his meaning. “You’re gonna have to go home at some point. And I’ve got the band. But,” he continued, pulling your camera out of your hands slowly. He set it down on the chair next to his guitar, then returned to you.

“That doesn’t mean we’re living in a bubble right now. This is happening.” He took your hands in his, squeezing them gently. You stared at his fingers, lost for words.

“Hey,” he pulled one hand away, and used it to tilt your chin up. The feeling of his fingers on your face sent tingles down your spine. You stared hard at him, trying not to be emotional.

“Please don’t be sad,” he urged. When you said nothing, Roger released your hands and crossed the room to your dresser. There, he smiled at the most recent flowers he’d given you. They sat in a blue vase, next to your pictures. But between them, sat an old radio. It was a little dusty, having gone unused in a house full of live music.

But Roger turned it on, and tuned it to the first clear station he could find. The small speakers crackled to life, filling the attic with a slow, bluesy song.

I’ve found my thrill On Blueberry Hill When I found you

“Dance with me,” Roger told you, holding out a hand and doing a ridiculous bow. You rolled your eyes, but felt the sting of anxiety fading. So you took his hand, and put your other arm around his neck. Roger was a decent dancer when he wasn’t trying to act a fool, and he guided you in slow circles across the room.

The moon stood still On Blueberry Hill And lingered until My dream came true

The lyrics were sweet, comforting. The melody, coupled with Roger’s fingers drumming softly on your waist, turned your mouth up at the corners. And, without warning, Roger began to sing along, swaying you side to side a little.

“For you were my thrill,” he sang, to your giggling. “On Blueberry Hill…”

You were smiling wide and bright by the time the song ended. Roger finished the dance with a small flourish, lifting your hand and urging you to do a small twirl. Which you did, much to his delight.

Roger grinned at you as he released your hand. You rubbed your arms, and stepped back to him. The next song began, an upbeat swing bop.

“Feel better?” He asked, looking genuinely hopeful. You rested your forehead against his shoulder, prompting him to wrap his arms around you in one of his characteristically comforting hugs.

“Yes,” you mumbled into his shirt. Roger kissed the side of your head, still tapping the beat of the last song onto your waist.

“Good.”

“Thank you,” you pulled back to look at him. Roger answered with a peck to your lips, and a wide grin.

“Any time, love. Can’t have my girl worried.”

Taglist:

@ceruleanrainblues @pietrorunsforme @isabella-bby @todorokis-nipples @killerqueenbucky @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @kenzie-belle @shewantstobreakfree @ishouldbedoingalright @fangirlpterodactylnoises @itssaje @aceslytherinpan @youmakeme-wonder @smilinghardy @dreamer821 @musicprincesslikestorock @fangirlcore @loveofmyloif @mydogisthebest @onevisionliz @benn-seguin-1491 @happy-at-home @rogerinaismyqueen @imamazzellhoe @strawberryfields-forever @letmelivetaylor @boozeleatherandstache

[aarunomura]

MARGINAL#4 Index 1st Stage ~REVOLUTION!~ Chapter 6 - External★Galaxy (Translation)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

★ Please DO NOT re-translate or post this translation anywhere.

CHAPTER 6: External★Galaxy

As Universe FES is fast-approaching, our agency is also bustling with activity. Universe FES is where new talents from various agencies gather together. With the agency’s reputation at stake, I cannot be sloppy about my work.

(Umm, what was it that I needed to do after this?)

There are many things that I need to do.

(Ah, it’s almost time...)

Everyone’s dance lessons are just about over. Before they end, I want to see how much the boys have improved.

(They really do seem happy whenever I go to see them.)

As idols, they enjoy having everyone watch their performances. The four have said that it’s more motivating for them when I’m watching them compared to when it’s just them practising in silence. Ever since I heard that, I’ve been making an effort to watch them practise even if it’s only for the first or last few minutes.

(I have a rather hectic schedule, but if the four are happy, then I feel that I need to work hard.)

The four, who are entering the final stage in their preparations, seem to have it tough with dance and singing lessons, but I too am bombarded with work lately.

(Ah, right! I need to show them this.)

MARGINAL#4′s CD jacket design is complete. This jacket is a tour de force by Aru-kun. Just as I requested, it’s stylish and incorporates the imagery of stars and space. It’s also finished up with a not-too-subdued tint of colour. Things like the colour adjustments still need to be done so I can’t say that it’s perfect but... I’m sure they’ll be overjoyed if I show them it.

“Alright, I didn’t forget anything.”

I turn my eyes to the notes with the schedule and merchandise samples spread across the table. I need to return and continue with my work once I take a quick look of the four practising and have a quick chat to them. I stuffed the things that I was bringing along inside my bag and left the room.

☆★☆

When they noticed me arrive at the studio, one after another, the four, who had just finished with practice, came to where I was. The T-shirts they are wearing are soaking with sweat.

“Ah, Manager! How was my dancing?” “It’s gotten a lot better. Compared to before, your movements are now aligned.” “That is because everyone has worked extremely hard. To tell you the truth, I have been panicking recently because I feel that I will be left behind.” “There you go again about that~ We really can’t keep up with Rui-kun’s sharp movements.” “Hey, I wasn’t out of position, was I?” “Don’t worry, you were in sync with everyone.” “Really? That’s a relief~ I was the only one who was off for the last beat so it took quite a long time before I could memorise the right rhythm.” “Is that so? From what I saw just now, I wouldn’t have guessed.” “That’s good then!”

(They worked really hard with practice, didn’t they.)

“Ah, right. I bought you drinks! You must be thirsty, right?” “Seriously?! You sure are thoughtful! The drink I brought along became empty just like that.” “I’ll have some too~. It was tough since my throat’s all dry. I mean, there’s also a heater in this place. We were just about to become like dried-up marimo.” “Yes, I was also just getting thirsty. Thank you very much.” “It’s fine, this much is nothing.”

I hold out the bag with cold drinks to the four.

“Ah, and another thing. I thought I should show this to you all! Tah-dah!”

Making that sound effect, I take out and show the four the CD jacket design that arrived just now.

“Ah, this is...” “I tried to make the jacket exactly the way Aru-kun drew it. If there’s anything about it that is different from your image, I’d be happy if you could let me know as soon as possible.” “Wow...”

Aru-kun is surprised to see that his own drawing has now taken the form of a CD jacket. He’s spacing out with wide, round eyes as if he’s dreaming.

“Gosh, Aru looks so happy. ...Somehow, it’s even making me happy.” “Eru-kun?” “Up until now, there hasn’t been this many people who acknowledged Aru. I mean, since Aru talks using online gaming language, everyone tends to find it troublesome to understand him and gives up. So... thanks. It makes me happy that you properly see Aru’s good qualities.” “Not at all. I wouldn’t have been able to create this lovely jacket without Aru-kun’s help so I’m very grateful towards him.” “Heeeh... So Aru drew this, huh. Awesome, this is super awesome! I want to RT it badly.” “Very... There appears to be a similarity relation.” “Similarity relation?” “I mean that they resemble us a lot.” “Heeh.”

Atom-kun and Rui-kun peer at it with happy expressions. They must be elated to have something that they are involved in begin to take shape little by little. The four’s eyes are sparkling.

(...I’m so happy.)

It was worth putting in the effort.

“It will undergo some revisions but... the finished result will pretty much look like this.” “I think it looks great.” “I also like it.” “I’m fond of it as well. But it’s a shame there’s no marimo.” “Marimo is a little...” “I’m only joking!”

If I can see these four’s smiling faces, I am willing to keep on working hard.

“Anyway, why don’t you all get changed? You’ll catch a cold, sweating like that.” “You are right. Then let us go and get changed. What will you be doing after this, Manager?” “I plan to return to the agency, and continue with checking up on goods and Universe FES preparations.” “...Now?”

Aru-kun frowns. When I look at the clock, it is indeed already quite late.

“Yeah, but I need to work hard!”

Things will only become busier than they already are as Universe FES approaches closer.

“But you’re looking kinda pale, y’know?” “Eh? Really?” “Atom-kun is right. Are you getting enough sleep?” “Ah, now that you mention it, I guess my sleeping hours have slightly reduced lately...”

While I’m at the agency, I give priority to meetings and being the boys’ support. Because of that, the amount of work at the agency which I have brought home to do has increased.

“That won’t do. You’re a young girl. Your skin’s rough.” “W-Wah?!”

Eru-kun strokes my cheek. Although they are idols under my care, they are young and cool. They are boys engaging in idol activities. Even though I have become familiar with them, with this sudden close distance between us, my heart skips a beat.

“...Actually. Don’t you have a fever? Your cheeks are hot.” “That’s because Eru-kun just touched them out of nowhere!” “Really, Eru-kun. To suddenly lay a land on a girl...” “Eru, no.” “Alright, alright.”

When both Rui-kun and Aru-kun scolded him, Eru-kun finally removed his hand from my cheek.

“But it’s true that you don’t look well. Don’t push yourself too hard.” “We will also do what we can ourselves.” “Yeah, leave it to us.” “There’s no way we could let you take on the hardships yourself.” “Guys...”

It makes me happy that they are worried about me in this way even when we are in the final stages of preparation with all kinds of things going on.

“Thanks, but I’m alright! I’m going to give it my all as well so let’s all keep on going at full speed towards Universe FES!” “Yeah!” “Yes!” “Okaaay!” “Right!”

Our voices, which reaffirm our determination, echoes inside the studio. I see the boys, who are heading to the changing room, off and return to continue with my work.

A few days later, I ended up collapsing from overwork──────.

☆★☆

“...Awake?” “...H...uh?”

I blink absently. The first thing that came into sight was an unfamiliar, pure white ceiling.

“Director...?” “You collapsed at the agency. You don’t remember?” “Collapsed...? I...did?”

I don’t understand Director’s words.

(Um... What exactly happened?)

My memory is fuzzy. I have no memory whatsoever of where exactly I had lost consciousness. Before I knew it, I had woken up in this place.

“Is this... the hospital?” “That’s right. Since you collapsed all of a sudden, we had you quickly brought here. Your complexion looks a lot better now. I guess the IV drip is doing its job.” “I did feel... a little dizzy lately.” “...I see.”

(To think that I would faint...)

I wouldn’t have imagined. I had been giving priority to Universe FES preparations, and probably neglected my own health.

“Oh! Universe FES preparations...!” “...Don’t worry about that.”

Director stopped me, gently placing a hand on my shoulder, just as I was about to jump out of bed.

“And about MARGINAL#4...” “Yes, what about them?” “No, the problem doesn’t lie with them.”

(...Them?)

“It’s about you.” “Me?” “Yes. I know that you’ve been working hard with Universe FES preparations. But for you to collapse at this critical time, there isn’t anything you can do about being told that you lack self-management.” “...Yes.”

(She’s right. For me to fall sick like this at the busiest time is...)

“What is happening with MARGINAL#4 now...?” “The other staff are supporting them. If you had consulted me about your physical condition earlier, I could’ve transferred your duties to them more smoothly...” “...Yes.” “But no trouble occurred this time...” “...I am relieved to hear that.”

It seems my collapsing didn’t have a [negative] impact for the time being.

“I shall explain to you what will happen from here on.” “A-Alright...” “First off is for you to take a proper rest. This is your top priority.” “Yes.” “And... I’m having you step down as MARGINAL#4′s Manager.” “...!”

(No way...)

Although I was half-prepared for that, actually being told that made my heart heavily ache deep inside.

“The doctor in charge said that it’s best that you stay here for two weeks... Think of it as a good opportunity to let your body rest and try to recover. Your health is an important asset in this line of work, you know?” “...Yes. I am really sorry for the trouble I have caused.” “If you are careful next time, then that’s fine. I’ll come to visit you again when I have time. After all, even though I have removed you of your duty, you must be worried about the boys.” “...Yes.” “Rest well.” “I will...”

Director then left the hospital room, the sound of her heels clacking. The moment I was alone in the room, the reality of being removed as MARGINAL#4′s Manager sank in.

“...Fu.”

My eyes become filled with tears. Despite wishing to put in my utmost effort for their sake, I ended up abandoning them half way. Surely, I will [still] be slightly involved with them, given that they are talents of the agency. However, I am no longer their ‘Manager’. Even though I wanted to push them to the top idol seat with my own hands...

(The only thing I can do now is watch them.)

When I thought about that... I let the tears come, crying until there were none left.

☆★☆

“.........”

I absentmindedly stare at the TV. Now that I think about it, I had been so busy lately that I hardly watched any TV. To be lying in my hospital bed and spacing out in front of the TV, it’s as if my busy life up until now has been a lie.

(How boring...)

Even as I’m looking at the TV, it’s obvious that I’m thinking about something else. MARGINAL#4...... those four.

(Right now, they must be working hard with their dance and singing lessons.)

They must be putting in their all even without me here. And it would be nice if they were to feel even just a little sad because I am not there with them. I had negative thoughts such as that.

I could hear footsteps from outside approaching.

(...I wonder if it’s Director.)

She did say that she would come to visit again. As the sound of multiple footsteps gradually gets closer to the room I am in...

(Hm? There’s several?)

The door flung wide open before I could even look up.

“MANAGER!!” “A-Atom-kun?! E-Everyone?!”

The four members of MARGINAL#4 entered the hospital room with determined looks on their faces. And the one at the very back was Director.

“Um... What’s the meaning of this...?” “You see, these children have something to say to you.” “To me...?”

(Maybe... they are angry at me. After all, I abandoned them along the way.)

It’s not like I stopped being their Manager entirely, but in their eyes, I might have let them down.

“.........”

Heavy silence fills the hospital room. I need to say something, but I can’t find the words. The one who broke the silence was naturally Atom-kun.

“...Hey.” “What is it?” “We came today because we have a request.” “...Eh?”

(A request? They aren’t here to blame me?)

I had been constantly thinking that I would be blamed for my lack of willpower that resulted in my leaving the ‘MARGINAL#4′ project unfinished but... It seems I was wrong.

“After we heard that you collapsed, Manager, we did lots of thinking and came here.” “The reason you collapsed was because you overworked yourself for our sake.” “...We’re sorry for pushing you too hard.” “N-No, that’s not true. It’s not your fault so don’t apologise.”

The four hang their heads down, thinking that they were the ones who asked too much of me.

“...But you know, it has to be you.” “Eh?” “We are aware that our request will place great burden on you. However... you were the one who led us up to here from the start. Therefore, our Manager should be you to the end.” “Yeah, sorry. And if that’s the case, we need to tell you to get plenty of rest here. But hurry... and come back to us.” “I’ll work harder with my singing and dancing, and help you out. So please. Won’t you become our Manager again?” “You guys...” “...And that’s how it is. These four insisted that their Manager has to be you no matter what. Even though you can’t since it’s important that you take a break...” “U-Um...!” “What’s wrong?” “I have caused great inconvenience for everyone at the agency this time round. But... if you would allow it, I wish to return to being MARGINAL#4′s Manager.”

The four looked at me. I also directly looked back at them. These four with completely different personalities were suddenly told to form a group one day. I had been closely watching them put in the effort so that they can become one.

(I want to keep on watching over them.)

“Director, we’re begging you! Can’t you bring her back as our Manager?!” “I am asking you too. It is not MARGINAL#4 without her...!” “I’m begging you as well. I can share my prized marimo with you if you say you want one.” “Me too! I wish for her, who acknowledged me, to see me work hard.” “Director, me too... I wish to watch over them to the very end! I will definitely be careful so that something like this won’t happen again...! So please...!!”

“Please!!”

The four lowered their heads to Director. Remaining in bed, I also bowed my head low towards her way.

“.........”

Director ponders for a moment before slowly opening her mouth to speak.

“Then will you listen to a request of mine?” “Request...?” “I believe I told you at the start but... I want MARGINAL#4 to become top idols like the legendary STARMATE. They were truly great. STARMATE.”

Director murmurs that as if she’s in a world of her own.

“Therefore, I want you... to perform a legendary live that amounts to STARMATE’s at Universe FES.” “L-Legendary live?”

If I remember correctly, the legend left behind at STARMATE’s lives was... Stars showered upon earth, mesmerised by and drawn to their singing ────── or so people say.

(A legendary live that will bring forth a shower of stars...?)

I have no idea how we are supposed to do that exactly. And neither does MARGINAL#4. All of us look at each other, puzzled.

“If you promise me that... I shall allow her to return.” “We promise!!” “H-Hold on a second! Atom-kun!”

I hurriedly stopped Atom-kun, who was about to declare that immediately to Director. The fact that Director set a condition means that there should be a penalty should we fail to clear it. It is risky to make any promises before asking her about that.

“If... In the case that we fail to create a legendary live that meets your satisfaction, what will happen?” “MARGINAL#4 will be disbanded.” “EEEEEHH?!!”

(Disbanded?!)

“H-Hold on, Director! How can you suddenly disband us based on the outcome of our debut at the FES?!” “You don’t have to make that promise, you know? From the start, I got you to form MARGINAL#4 because I wanted you to surpass the legendary STARMATE. Either way, you need to be able to do that, starting from your debut.” “...!!”

For some reason, I feel like that condition was something Director had already decided on beforehand. It should’ve been the condition... for my return, and yet maybe it was something she had planned from the very beginning...

(Th-This is risky...!)

I was about to tell myself that I couldn’t let the four cross such a dangerous bridge.

“Bring it on!” “?!”

Atom-kun accepted Director’s challenge head-on.

“H-Hold on...!” “Fufufu, good answer! To be able to see that legendary live again... I’m looking forward to Universe FES more and more.” “Wai- Director...!”

Director is laughing happily. Now that I think about it, Director did stress that she wanted MARGINAL#4 to be a group that will surpass the legendary STARMATE. I have a feeling that she successfully got Atom-kun on board with this by using me as an excuse.

(Don’t tell me, her saying that she was removing me from my position as MARGINAL#4′s Manager was a set-up for that...?)

For some reason, I had that feeling.

“I’m really looking forward to your legendary live at Universe FES!”

With only that as her final words, Director left with a spring in her step.

“.........”

All that remained was the four from MARGINAL#4 and me, who didn’t know what to make of what just happened.

“If we fail to perform a legendary live, we will be disbanded...?” “Uwaah, what’s with that? I don’t really get it. To begin with, what does she mean by a legendary live?” “STARMATE’s live...?” “The rumours did say that they brought a shower of shooting stars, huh...” “That reminds me, I believe there is a formula to predict meteorites...” “I don’t think that’s it, Rui-kun.” “I guess you are right...”

If they fail to pull off a legendary live at Universe FES, MARGINAL#4 will be disbanded. This is a decision that has already been set in stone.

“W-What do we do...” “Well, don’t worry. We’re idols who deliver a kiss to the ends of the galaxy, remember?” “In any case, why don’t we start by gathering information about STARMATE?” “I’ll also turn to my connections and ask around.” “I’ll also try to look for info online.”

The four, who were all over the place in the beginning, are finally brought together as one as MARGINAL#4.  There is no way that I will let their dreams of becoming idols end here.

“No matter what it takes, let’s definitely make Universe FES a success, okay...!” “Hell yeah!” “Yes!” “Ye~p!” “Yeah!”

Again, we vowed to make that happen.

☆★☆

In order to increase the quality of their performances, they enthusiastically put more effort into practice than ever before. In order to make up for lost time I spent in bed, I also desperately got more work done compared to before I collapsed. We also kept an eye on the state of each other’s health.

Meanwhile, we also gathered information on STARMATE. STARMATE, who left behind a legend in which they brought a shower of stars at each of their lives. If we do not surpass STARMATE or fail to at least achieve the same level as them...  MARGINAL#4 will be disbanded. We tried to figure out what STARMATE’s lives were like but...

“What do you mean by live policy...” “T-To think that there are no records of footage remaining...” “Usually, they would make live DVDs, right?! I don’t believe this!” “Th-This is too much...”

Many live reports and books remain. Their CDs are also circulating to this very day so it’s generally possible to obtain them.

However, there is so little footage of their lives, where they left behind that legend, remaining that we might as well say that there is none at all.

(So that was part of their strategy.)

Legendary lives that you can only know about by attending them. The legend steadily grew through the spread of information from attendees.

“What are we supposed to do... Can we win against something we barely know about...” “To think that only information in the form of rumours and reports have widely circulated that we cannot grasp the true nature of it...” “I wonder how we’re going to deal with this now. Aru, isn’t there anything that can be done about it?” “Usually, no matter what kind of artist it is, live footage would circulate underground but... STARMATE’s will be uploaded and then deleted within seconds that it doesn’t make any sense.” “Within seconds?!” “I think their agency is extremely strict with checking up on that.” “...That’s amazing.”

I muttered seriously. Quite a number of years have passed since STARMATE broke up. Even so, it’s befitting that their agency’s management would be strict.

“”But now that it’s come to this, we’ve no longer got a choice but to fight with quality.” “You are right...” “In other words, creating a miracle with our true abilities without resorting to tricks, eh! Sounds pretty difficult and fun.” “The higher the difficulty level of the quest is, the more it is worth capturing.”

(That is true.)

Now that things have come to this, all they can do is put forth all of the strength they can muster as MARGINAL#4 at Universe FES.

“If that’s the case, it’s time to practise!” “Shall we work on our choreography a little longer?” “Eru, would you mind having a look at my dancing once more?” “Got it!”

The unusual challenge that we must overcome ────── surpass STARMATE’s legendary live. But for MARGINAL#4, who will defy that, their determination will not be broken by that.

“These four will be alright.”

We have decided to challenge that with just our true abilities. The four from MARGINAL#4 practise over and over, sweating blood, in order to carve a new legend at Universe FES. I also supported them with all my might.

And at long last, the day of Universe FES arrived──────.

To be continued. ➤ Chapter 7

Thanks for reading!

[novapopstar]

Let me tell a story about true love and loss.

This is one of my favorite stories to tell. And at the same time, its one of the hardest. You don't really get second chances. But if you were able to take that second chance in something you horribly screwed up on, you would take it, wouldn't you? This is gonna sound exactly like those very cliche white boy romance movies that try to be kinda edgy, i know it does in the beginning. Ive lived long enough to know that. But she... She was everything to me. Ive lived so long feeling nothing. She brought a spark to my dead soulless empty life. She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Its the reason i took that second chance. She can never know i exist. It was the beginning of summer of 2015. The final day of high school. I finished the exam at least an hour and a half early. And as most 18 year olds do, i put my earbuds in at full blast and passed out at my desk without a care in the world. Im awoken by an earthquake. The worst earthquake imaginable. My name is being screeched by what i can only describe is a Pterodactyl. I pull my headphones out of my ears. "What, Kamyrn?" I am not a happy boy. "The bell rang like 15 minutes ago." Are you serious? "You...didnt wake me up sooner?" The pterodactyl shrugs. "Didnt seem like i needed to just yet." I shouldve punched him right through his ginger face. He had a pale complexion, although more color than mine, freckles on his nose and cheeks, bright green eyes and the most irish looking red hair youve ever seen. Hes actually Italian. Hes basically what you call a cinnamon roll in meme terms. "So theres a music venue happening tonig-" "Nope." I stand up quickly, fix my bangs, and throw my hood up. I tried to bee line for the door but the fucker is always faster. I do NOT do social gatherings. Hes lucky i even talked to him. "Cmon, Tyyyyy! I want you to meet my friends. Theyre playing tonight!" "You know i dont like social events. I cant handle them. Besides i have to get home an-" He grabs my arms and pleads with his eyes. "Just this once? Pleaaaase?" I sigh. I hated it when he did that. I loved him so much i could hardly say no to him most of the time. "Fine. When do we go?" "We can start heading over right now. Theyre setting up and we can watch them warm up!" "You actually seem more cheery than normal. Anything special happening tonight?" "The Goddess, Tyler!!" Of course. "The Goddess" was a girl named Diana. The love of his life. She was literally too perfect. Beautiful black flowing hair, the deepest of blue eyes, beautifully pale skin, the most perfect smile. The sight caused Kamryn to become speechless. Especially since her father was there at the venue. The venue was basically as normal as you can get i guess. Smelled of sweat and heartbreak. The colors were a mix of greys and more greys. It was a really spacious area with some dining tables and chairs. I believe there was a bar at one end of the room. And right in the back was a big stage where they kept all the equipment for the bands. Big speakers lined the sides of the stage including the top of walls for surround sound in the building. This....this was the place i met her. Kamyrn was being interrogated by Dianas father, Marcus. Kamyrn sweating profusely. I mean, i dont blame him. Marcus was ripped and that rugged look and deep voice of his was something to feel threatened about. If you can picture what a roman soldier looked like, ya got Marcus. Diana was giggling and watching Kamyrn squirm the whole time. My senses were broken when the lights dimmed down and the first show was about to start. And as if an Angel has glided across the stage, she appeared. She was the most stunning thing i had ever laid eyes one. Shoulder length chestnut hair, from afar youd think they were green but she actually had hazel eyes, she had the sweetest smile, and i cant forget the red streaks in her hair. Her voice was something of an angel. And i caught myself staring. Ive never been a believer in love at first sight, but, damn... There was no mistaking it. I had slowly began to fall for her that night. But of course, i always have something come up to ruin my moments of bliss. Heres the part where things get complicated as all hell. I finished that graduation exam an hour and a half early because, ive taken it at least 25 times by now. At least at that school. I passed with flying colors because i know all the answers a little too well. The reason is the dumbest reason you have ever heard of. Im an 182 year old, as of 2015, vampire with the body of an 18 year old. All my features resemble a scrawny emo kid. Right down to the black nails, the black eyeliner, and the black emo hair. My purple eyes are natural however. Right now im having what is called Cravings. Now listen, i do not love being a vampire. Ive been running from that life for years. So i cringe at the thought of feeding off a humans. But at this moment in time, i am in need NOW. Therefore i cannot just waltz over to the nearest bloodbank and "charm speak" my way into dinner. I had to do my best to leave the venue without causing suspicion. I keep my eyes closed as i turn to Kam, holding a hand to my head. "Kam, dude im really sorry. The whole social thing is really getting to me. I really have to head out. I do not feel well." "Im really glad you tried to make it though, Ty. Ill check in on you later okay?" I nod and make the horrible mistake of opening my eyes. Kamryn wasnt looking however. But someone else did. My eyes tend to change color depending on the need. Right now theyre clearly gold. Gold for hunger. I quickly make my way out into the alley way. I hate every second of this. The alley smells like rotting shit and cat piss. Its the least of my worries. But its all i can smell. I need that trace of blood. Now. This isnt fun for me. I hate having to walk up to an unsuspecting human and trick them into letting me feed. This woman didnt deserve it. But they dont know what theyre doing when the "charm speak" is involved. Im able to pin her to the wall at this point, shes moaning in pleasure very loudy as i sink my teeth into her neck. I want to vomit. But i swallow and keep it down. She slumps down the wall unconscious. I didnt bleed her out, i never drink enough for that to happen. I fix her body in a way that when she wakes up, she'll think she just passed out from intoxication. Poor girl.. "A vampire? Never wouldve thought." I spin around, blood sorta dripping from my chin. I had made sure i was alone. It was just Marcus. But i didnt know why Marcus would have known. "Clean yourself, boy." I dont even blink as i wipe my chin furiously. "W-why did you follow me?" "I know the actions of a vampire when they need to feed. You showed clear signs back at the venue. I also saw those eyes of yours." "Well, what do you want from me?" He smiled wide. "Youre obviously no threat if youve been living the human world for so long. You nearly looked like death feeding off that woman." I looked defeated. "I didnt have the time to make it to a bloodbank, sir." Needless to say, i was taken back to venue after it was all cleared out. Kamryn looked worried as hell when i got back. "Dude, are you okay? I thought you were going home?" I smiled weakly. "I just needed to take a walk. Marcus found me to tell me to come back so i could meet your friends." Kam flashed a big smile. "Well the only one thats still here is-" "Emma." The Angel had spoken. Kam decided that was good enough and had walked over to flirt with his goddess. "So, a vampire huh?" I blinked. "Im sorry..?" She pointed to the shoulder area of my jacket. The fact Kam never noticed still annoys me. She laughs. "Thats not really the reason. I just know." She smirked. "Ive seen a few in my day. None looked like you though. Why are you trying so hard to seem human?" I felt it was pointless at this point. "I despise vampires." "So you despise yourself?" "Precisely." "Does Kamryn know?" "He can never know." She nods in understanding. "So yeah, im Emma Grayson." She extends her arm and i shake it nervously. Her hands were always so soft. Not to mention calloused. But the best hands ive ever held. "Tyler Deravious." This Tyler didnt realize what he was getting himself into. How this meeting would change his life for the worst. You dont get a third chance. If i could turn back, i would. I cannot begin to tell you the regret i feel writing this all down. I ended up leaving my apartment that i had been illegally living in for years now and i moved into the mansion that i never knew existed in chicago. This mansion housed demon slayers. An immortal roman soldier demon slayer and his adopted daughter. I had chosen to slay demons as well. Including my kind. Things only get more complicated from here. ------------- So im thinking about writing a story out that ive had in my mind since 2015. Im not the best at writing but maybe i can get better along the way if i stick with it. I dont have a name for it yet, but heres the prototype Prologue for my most favorite story ive thought of. This story is an emotional rollercoaster. But it follows the life of Tyler Deravious, a Rogue Vampire who hates the thought of being a vampire. He becomes a demon slayer and learns what its like to have a family after so many years. Falls in love. Learns to be less awkward and more brave. He has to help defeat a great evil that threatens to destroy Chicago, and maybe the world if hes not careful. It might just turn out too much for him. Im really hoping i can do something with this. Its all original! So take my shitty prologue and give me some critiques.