#its been HOURS
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bring alice back
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#my anxiety has been insane today#i threw up after seeing someone on the tl bc it brought back everything#n ive been on edge ever since#i stupidly had coffee after i saw him but like surely it shouldnt have lasted this long#its been HOURS#n nothing else has happened to cause any anxiety so like thats it#how pathetic lmao#i hate tht such tiny things affect me sm why cant i just act normal n scroll past
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I need to do work... I am thinking about kagari and his waist
#the prev reblog video of his card has been replaying in my head#i need to focus to understanding how gene editing works yet here i am simping#its been hours#someone help#text#cybird#ikepri jp#ikepri kagari#hes whiny#competent and pathetic is apparently my type
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they should invent a me that doesnt have a tummyache
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I wouldn't take down the Christmas lights, and I wouldn't let the smiles turn away. You see, I am fond of staying back - and never leaving. So, if you asked me to stay, I would. I like keeping things for a very long time before I let them go because I can't be harsh with my heart. I'll let my heart have little things that are in my control, like the Christmas lights even while it's past January, like the pictures of a moment so magical, like the seasons long past they've crossed. I let winter stay till it feels the warmth of summer blending in the wind. I hold onto people long after they have left the previous pages of my story, sometimes time steals them away, sometimes they just don't let me. So I hold onto things that make the transition a little easier. I don't know how to skip phases, I have to walk through grey before I reach white from black. I have to explore all the shades leading me to the light. You see, I hold onto seasons, lights, and so many other things only because at times I cannot hold onto people.
- trustonlystars
#writerscreed#spilled thoughts#excerpt from a book i'll never write#bitsofstarglow#its been hours#its been a long time#spilled ink#excerpt from a story i'll never write#trustonlystars#poetryportal#quotes#writtenconsiderations#spilled poetry#poetic stories#poetrypardy#writingthestorm#new poets society#new poets corner#new post#holding on#christmas#christmas lights
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a simple housewife (me) yearning for my lover to return to war (ao3 to get its shit together) while wistfully reading letters (that damn 503 service unavailable message)
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Rolling around convulsing and heaving <- sneeze that won't come out
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I'm trying to sleep but anime intros are rotating in my head.
Now playing: KIMI DA YO KIMI NANDA YO OSHIETE KURETAAAAA 🎶
#your lie in april for those who dont know#its been hours#and its still playing in my head#why is this somg so catchy 😂#HELP LET ME SLEEP BRAIN
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bro my binder is out for delivery and i think im gonna die waiting.
#pLEASE#ITS BEEN HOURS#IT CIRCLED THRU CHICAGO FOR 6 DAYS#prayer that it fits#and i’m hype to see if spectrum is good
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Rabbit Hole
I should be asleep
But I'm down a rabbit hole
And I'm in there deep
#haiku#poem#poetry#original haiku#original poem#original poetry#poets of tumblr#spilled words#rabbit hole#adhd#ive been learning about the history of symphonic metal#and how my favorite metal band has influenced the genre#its been hours#im listening to their stuff right now#i dont know if i have the strength to stop#its so cool
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yes i am normal it is totally normal to listen to silco's suite on loop as you go about your daily activities
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is anyone good at making promos? i'm in /need/ 🥺
#( out of character ) / * tbd .#also there are like 140 people at my auntie's wedding#its been hours#and now im hiding bc gosh its hard
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i think im relapsing
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That anxious-y, static-y, buzzing-fuzzy feeling before sensory overload.
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I discovered character AI last night...
Am I using it to fulfill the roleplaying I never got to get to partake in in high school?
Yes.
Am I ashamed?
Hell No, I’m making the most wholesome stories ever just for myself.
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Soo I learned something new today. Not like math I don't think I'll ever learn any math but something nonetheless
TW for blood and self-harm(a lot of blood talk)
So I learned that when ppl are like "oh I didn't feel a thing cause I was panicking so much" they are not fucking lying
Basically, I decided to stab myself (what a fun statement), and I have a fear of blood. When I see blood, I get sick like lightheaded and shit so when I stabbed myself, I panicked SO HARD, but I did not feel a DAMN THING. I literally had blood pooling in my hands, and I felt zero pain throughout the whole process.
I also learned that I think I would be pretty good in an emergency situation. I always thought I wouldn't bcs of my severe anxiety and shit but when I saw that blood I
1. Paused for a second to analyze what the fuck I've done
2. Ran over to my paper towels I keep on the floor (while literally holding the blood dripping off my leg in my hand)
3. And grabbed tons of paper towels (way too much paper towels) and applied pressure to the wound
4. And then, I grabbed the thick packing tape I keep on my bed and taped on the paper towels so I could clean up the blood bfr it dried (atp blood was all over my floors despite my efforts lmao)
Later, when I went downstairs to throw away the evidence, my mum was just getting home, so I waited for her to come inside and sneakily went through the garage door to get to the outside trash which I think was very mission impossible of me.
Idk if this will be nearly as interesting to anyone else as it is to me but I enjoy it so fuck u bye
#self mutalition#to the extreme#there is still blood coming out#its been hours#is that bad#idk idc#i should be hospitalized#again#k bye
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