#its always going and theres always weather. and thats all anyone really needs out of small talk.

[tealfruit]

"I hate small talk" couldn't be me. the social interaction with almost no depth or stakes to it? the one that is the bare minimum for looking like a human being? literally just come up with a way to respond to "how are you doing" and comment about the weather and you look like the smoothest friendliest most normal motherfucker in the room AND you've spoken to another human being (important for health). it's like cheat codes. and you HATE that??? skill issue!

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

what is it about cruise ships that you find ugly? like are there any specific ones you hate or is it just all of them?

okay so ive been puzzling over to how to answer this for A While™ because:

theres so many ugly cruise ships i would love to roast, and theres a part of me that wants to make a sideblog about it a la @mcmansionhell but for cruise ships

i am autistic and this is my special interest and i also want to infodump about ship design conventions

theres also really pretty oceanliners like the ss france that got converted into cruise ships where the magical girl transformation sequence malfunctioned badly.

its not always just like the exterior thats badly designed, theres both Awful design inside the ship like the disney wish, and Awful business plans and conduct like the epirotiki lines

...but, thats a lot.

so instead, ive settled on four exterior design issues that i think you can see in a lot of cruise ships even if you dont know shit about ships.

this is by no means an exhaustive list but just some common observations that you will see in 97% of cruise ships.

im also gonna include an example ship for each and also further examples when needed.

so without further ado:

1. your ship looks like a bus and a ferry had an unholy love affair that ended with a baby neither wanted.

as an example of this anchor-christ, may i introduce you to the celebrity edge

something about the stern (back) just reminds me of diamond busses here in the uk while the bow (front) has a distinctly ferry-like look.

the super-structure that you see peaking above the spaceship-bridge on the bow is giving me double-decker bus energy.

the orange viewing box elevator thingy gives construction site energy, but also gives me public transport vibes? like i can just see something similar being added on buses with no explanation and we'd all just be like i guess buses are getting the budget silicon valley treatment.

further, celebrity edge has relatively sharp angles at the stern and bow. if you look at a lot of ocean liners, youll see shallower sweeping angles curving down, while a lot of cruise ships will have these sharper angles (though by angles, i mean curves still) or just will stop at the stern:

[Image ID: collage with five ships. In the top left corner, there are two images with the profiles of the SS France and the SS Andrea Doria. In the top right, there is the stern of the MSC Meraviglia. Bottom left: the stern of the Costa Deliziosa. Bottom right: stern of the Norwegian Epic]

though not pictured above, the rms queen mary actually earned her title at the miss pacific ocean competition where a cruise ship will never win because theyre just too ugly.

but my point is that the abrupt ending of superstructure and ship at the stern looks like a bus. it just does.

there is also like "this is just a block of flats" energy with the costa deliziosa, but thats getting into the next point:

-

2. oh no gang, billy bear misplaced his msc seaside hotel and now its floating out to sea on a barge! can you help him?

yes this is a butlins reference, what are you gonna do about it? call a red coat on me?

the msc seaside is one of many cruise ships where it looks like someone put a hotel on a barge... which is what a cruise ship actually is.

like, they are barely ships. anyone who says theyre going on a cruise to explore the ocean is trying to buff out their tinder bio. while cruise ships technically can sail across oceans, they dont. their journeys are incredibly short they sail very close to land, avoid any rough weather and its mandatory for all of their captains to have a north american blue grouse fursona.

and thats all because a cruise ship is hotel complex on a barge. its purpose is not to sail far because its just a hotel. there are multiple swimming pools and restaurants and night clubs and fucking rollercoasters on some of them. you can buy souvenirs, you can go do yoga, you can get a massage and as long as your surname doesnt end with a double n, you can put your kid into the available childcare.

forget sending the british army to pontins during covid, lets send them to pontoons!

hotels on barges are the most common version youll see, but there are other variations which include:

chopping mall 2: carnivore cruises

the 2006 remake of the anchor-christ: abargements/if youre renting in a block of flats on a barge, do you pay rent to a waterlord or is your landlord firmly stood on ground?

the happiest place on earth: disneywater!

the entire shenanigans going on with the freedom ship which i do not have time or energy to get into right now, so lets all just calm and down and take a breath and...

-

...3. close your eyes, imagine, feel it. youre on a cruise ship, the ovation of the seas; its an early august night and petrichor deluges the air. the skies above you glisten, a whirlpool of colour illuminated by hundreds of tiny flecks of light. youre alone on the deck, standing at the stern with your arms precariously balanced on the barrier as you turn your attention to the ocean below. its dark, the gentle waves nearly imperceptible yet bar the bone-white crests against the hull. you watch, captivated, listening to the ocean sing its terrible song. yet then somewhere behind you, the mellow thud of hoofs on the wooden deck weaves between the waves and the melody. you look up, lock eyes, feel a hurricane surround you as he stares back, do you remember to count his fingers?

so, you might have noticed that a lot of modern cruise ships, especially the bigger ones, look like some check-mark tech-bro on the bird app used an ai to steal the work of naval architects, photographers, artists, etc. to generate "their own design" for a cruise ship.

the example i chose for this was the ovation of the seas:

the super-structure has copy and paste vibes. the ship also looks like its lurching forward to attack me but thats beside the point.

one of the issues the designers for these ships - i would say naval architects but cruise lines sometimes choose someone for head of design who is not a naval architect and has never been on a ship before for shits, giggles and profits- run into is that its really difficult to make a long blank wall look good.

if youve ever made a house in the sims, youve probably ran into this yourself. youre happily building your house and it looks really good at the front and the back, but the side of it is just a wall and adding windows is giving copy and paste vibes.

my trick for this is either fake chimney, add an extra small popout, vines everywhere or hide it with trees, but these are not viable options for a cruise ship.

trust me, i checked:

hence, we end up with very long ships where its just ctrl c ctrl v for 300+ metres.

so how do you fix this?

well, idk maybe you could take notes from any of the longer ocean liners built in recent history.

you know, like the ss united states or the rms queen mary 2 or the ss michelangelo or the ss normandie or the mv kungsholm or the ss principe perfeito:

now im not saying all of these liners are the most beautiful boats ever; theyre not. as much as i adore her, queen mary 2 is a little ugly. most of them even have an element of copy and paste.

but none of them feel ai-generated. and a lot of them look really really pretty. you can tell that they were designed by human beings.

because the naval architects and naval designers who knew what they were doing. weve got clever use of colours, gorgeous use of curves and sweeping lines that balance out all the design elements. the sameness is broken up when possible, and the ship has focal points designed within to catch your eye.

and all of them have beautiful bows. most ocean liners had/have noticeable bows due to functionality; they needed sharp bows to cut through waves because they were crossing the ocean every week. and so extra care would be taken to both make the bow work for its function and also, look really fucking cool.

the ss normandie specifically has a unique bow shape and structure designed by vladimir yourkevitch, a russian naval architect who had emigrated to france after the russian revolution.

the bow is slanted and looks almost clipper-like. theres this clear bulbous bulb (thats the wrong term but the bit at the bottom) beneath the waterline. this design is matched with a slim hull designed to be hydrodynamic, which made her a very fast ship.

she and the rms queen mary fought over the blue ribband for several years before ww2 broke out. [x][x]

its a little wibbly-wobbly-looking but it gives her a very distinct profile and she just looks really cool. you dont notice the repeating pattern of windows on the super structure because of how striking her entire design is.

and well, there has been attempts to capture this with cruise ships.

they run into problems with it though because their bows are not designed the way ocean liners' bows were because a cruise ship does not need to cut through waves. itd be really weird if you were in a fancy restaurant and you were giving a steak knife for your caesar salad.

so what else can you do to make your bow look so beautiful her kissing booth would be sold out all weekend?

-

4. your bow art is ugly. it is ugly. it is really ugly. please stop putting art on your bow. it is all ugly.

yeah.

take a moment .

.

its okay.

i promise

,

.

shes not real.

.

you can breathe.

take another breath.

.

.

youre okay.

.

.

.

are you scrolled far down enough that you cant see her anymore?

yeah so that was the aidanova. probably the worst bow art i have ever encountered but im yet to encounter any bow art that isnt awful.

pride of america is terrible; caribbean princess' is just completely out of place; norwegian prima is the epitome of "what the fuck?"; majestic princess' makes the ship look naked somehow.

now i will concede that a lot of bow art is probably aimed at children because family cruises are a thing, but i wont concede that it changes anything.

the bow art is still ugly and i struggle to see how it would be appealing to a child. like engaging children is more than just throwing some bright colours and patterns on a canvas? children are smarter than that and even in my joking post making fun of cruise ships, im not gonna stand for the way we invalidate the personhood of children. theyre not things to be distracted with simple solutions.

weirdly the aidanovas is the one id be less harsh about in terms of engaging children because there is more to dig into like a boat version of thomas the tank engine or like how do boat body work? the art isnt surface level.

but its still just ugly. the shape of the bow does not compliment the face and the change in colour in the eyes is very distracting.

tbh, if youre gonna do bow art, youve got two options that arent awful:

actually aim it at kids in a way thats not just surface level look at bright colour braxter. have focus groups with kids, gets their feedback, have kids contribute. respect the intelligence and personhood of kids.

just go all out. balls to the fucking wall, just break every damn rule in the book and apply every technique your art teacher hated. the ship is gonna be ugly anyway, make it fun ugly. camp is in. pantomime it up in this bitch!

-

and anyway, that concludes my "brief" answer to this question 👍

btw if you would follow a blog that just trashes cruise ships because of how ugly they are, please tell me because like, if enough people would enjoy it to make the effort worth it, i Will do it.

[glitchdollmemoria]

that last post mentioning masks got me thinking about how like... i quite literally cannot wear a mask at all times due to one of my disabilities. i TRY to wear one when i can but it isnt always an option for me, which fucking sucks because im terrified of getting sick and potentially worsening the very disability that prevents me from consistently masking. and hardly anyone masks anymore so its not like theyre helping to keep me or anyone else safe lmfao. to spell it out very plainly i am PRO-MASK so dont put words in my mouth here please.

i experience heat intolerance, as a symptom of some kind of muscle weakness fatigue issue that still hasnt been properly diagnosed. my body temperature runs warm, im overly sensitive to my environment, and physical activity makes it worse. if i overheat, my muscle weakness (and nausea, and brain fog, and-) will flare up and ill be forced to rest for what could range from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months depending on how bad it is. i have to take IMMEDIATE action when i notice myself getting too warm because i cant risk that, and taking immediate action includes removing anything i can thats keeping me warm, including masks.

so when i walk to work in the summer bc i have exactly zero alternate options? most likely cant mask right away when i come in unless the weather is cooler than usual, because i need to take like half an hour for my body temperature to go back to normal.

moving around more than usual during my shift? the physical activity is gonna increase my temperature and ill have to take my mask off.

going somewhere other than work, having to either walk or take the bus? either way i have to spend time in the sun and so again i will probably need a cool down period once i get inside / on the bus, depending on how hot the weather is.

and theres an intersection here of my multiple disabilities and my poverty. i cant drive due to another illness, and i cant afford to use a rideshare service or even regularly take the bus, so walking in the heat is my only option to get to work. my work options are limited because i couldnt complete college and cant perform heavy physical labor, so i have to stick with a retail job that requires a lot of moving throughout the store, which itself is physical labor that can potentially make me sick if i go overboard.

mostly i just wanted to put this out there because i never really see people talk about actual reasons they cant wear masks, its almost always antimaskers who dont give a damn about people like me. but if you take anything from my ranting, let it be these two points:

while most people who dont wear masks are just making that choice because they dont like doing so or dont think its important anymore, a few of us out here literally cannot always mask despite knowing its a risk to ourselves and others; and

IF YOU CAN MASK PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MASKING. covid still exists! disabled people still exist! many of us are extra susceptible to the long term effects of covid! please fucking help to protect us! please give a shit about us! i feel like im shouting into the void here because i hardly see anyone mask anymore but please.

[voidimp]

🍀🌂🍩 for your main trio?

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

so the funny thing about all three of these ocs is they all started as characters for different games that just kinda ended up getting dragged into different things. without getting into much detail (bc this post would be a mile long):

oli is my captain in sunless sea, so of course i pulled the whole cannibalism & spending a lot of their time at sea from that (the vampire thing was unrelated & originally meant to be a substitute for the cannibalism but then i added it back bc it makes things more interesting).

jules is my bloodborne character, & the reason hes kind of twitchy & prefers to do things in the company of others is bc i am so bad at bloodborne & always hit the wrong buttons & need help with the game. honestly idr why i ended up making him a vampire. possibly just so he would still be alive by the time oli was around? idk.

cameron was meant to be my character in a blades in the dark game that never really took off (i sat out the first bit to Observe ao i never actually ender up playing them), & so the whole thing of them being part demon & having some control over weather stuff & also their drug problem was like... literally just from that. honestly cameron probably had the fewest changes getting kicked over to this setting but that might also just be bc they were the least developed at the time lmao

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

im. not really sure yet?? im gonna be honest my grip on genres is. not good lmao. & i have plot elements but not an actual full plot yet. does supernatural count as a genre? its not really horror i dont think. the setting is definitely futuristic (although the aesthetic is largely historical) but i dont think it really counts as like... scifi... i would like to have some sort of mystery going on but maybe not enough that it would be considered A Mystery Story?? is it a fucking drama. like not a romantic drama bc its definitely not a romance but like drama as in There Sure Is Shit Happening All The Time??? idk what the actual factors are that qualify something to be a drama. also i have some sort of dislike for that term but i think thats just bc it is so often grouped w romance. but it feels a bit Too Much to be slice of life so that seems like the next step up... i do want some scenes that have some action but overall i definitely wouldnt consider it one..... what else is there im sure im forgetting something

anyway yeah short answer is idk sorry lmao

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

honestly this is something i need to think on a bit more for oli & jules... idk if theres really anyone in particular. for cameron i guess its their dad tho. fuck that guy

[chiaplantseed]

Raine Days(oc) art+ramble(pt2)

my lil storm chaser🫶

so im still bored and thinking about raine, so new oc ramble, this time focusing on silly little situations and things they do.(they are me)

read below! (if you wish)

so, to add to my ramble from last night, raines closest friends are sally and wally and eddie. this however, causes them to get stuck in or partake in odd little situations.

for example, one time raine was helping eddie a bit late at the post office, when they fell asleep in a box while eddie wasnt looking. eddie confusing said box for a package, taped it up and delivered it to the unknowing poppy. safe to say, eddie and poppy both had quite the surprise when what was supposed to be poppys new bed, turned out to be raine half asleep and confused. (eddie now checks all boxes incase of raine being asleep in one, whether or not theyre helping him)

and with sally, every now and then after directing a play, she'll find raine asleep backstage after helping with lights and stage sets. when raines helping on stage though, as in acting, theres no need for sally to go find them. actually, acting in sallys plays brings out raines stage fright, which luckily keeps them wide awake! perhaps even the most awake anyones seen from raine! sally also really likes raines singing voice, so often times when sally gives raine a role in a play, itll have something to do with singing usually. and every now and then sally asks them to do karaoke with her at sleepovers.

with wally, raines perhaps the most calm out of the whole group, eddie being second place maybe. they paint together regularly, raine always paints the sky and different types of weather however. she once painted a simple portrait of wally though, and gifted it to wally.(he saved it) likewise, wally painted raine as well. (they also kept it) raine usually goes to wally when they want to relax and just chill with someone. his calm voice nearly puts her to sleep.

they also go to eddie when they want to relax. this is where most of the crafted trinkets raine collects are from. whenever eddie and raine just hangout to relax, eddie teaches them various crafts, like origami, or popsicle bird houses, or paper decor like those big chains. (raine has one hanging on the wall above their tv, all in blue and yellow) they also have a few small paper rings on their dresser. (like i said they keep every single craft) one time, they got caught out in the rain with a heart shaped box they made together out of paper, and when they came to eddie the next day upset, he helped them make another one. (this time they brought an umbrella just in case of rain)

also as for cute mother/child moments with poppy, poppy seems to have taken raine under her wing, a bit more than with the rest of the cast. poppy regularly takes note in when raine goes out to record the weather to give their daily weather forecasts for the town. whenever poppy sees its pretty cloudy, she goes out to find raine and brings her an extra umbrella and raincoat, as well at little rain boots. at first, raine didnt have their own set of such things actually, as they just brave the weather however it comes. or at least they used to, cause now poppys given them their own set of blue cloud themed rain clothes. raine treasures them, and now always wears them when they suspect rain. (if they didnt and poppy found out, theyd get a lecture)

thats all for now, i'll probably update soon as i think up more silly things about raine🫶

[b0mblover]

.

By: J

major tw; minor ed/ weight loss mention,

the absolute biggest tw for suicide, really just probably dont read this at all if youre suicidal, or prone to it, or uh really just not good in the slighest,

i uh, talk about in detail ways i could kill myself, really, i don’t recommend reading this unless like, you need a refrence on how highly suicidal people speak 💀

ah but srsly, probably dont read this for your own sake, im basically venting on alt, but like, not poetically in the slighest, theres only so many ways a guy can rephrase wanting to kill himself without being direct kay?

uh, probably dont worry abt this, i uh, even if i /did/ try to kms id probably survive, dont put that much faith into me

ok nvm irl i just spilled my goddamn penrice im gonna actually kms this is my breaking point (hard joke)

ugvfnd god im so sorry for writi g this and postint it, i cant do the whole keeping my feelings to myself anymore, its awful.

CHOEKS imagine this is jiro nitos suicide note or smth and critize it I DONT KNOW 😭 please laugh, im trying to hard to deflect from how awful i feel.

i urge to you turn back and not read this.

-from this point on, i am not responsible for how anyone interprets this/does because of this, you have been warned, this is the writer venting and being highly suicidal, no one is forcing you to read this. if you cannot deal with this, then dont read it, im not responsable for how others react to my writing, for your own sake. again, you have been warned-

i apologize for writing this.

words are escaping me at the moment.

ill probably be fine.

im human in the end.

something we all can agree on.

every sign points to it.

it is in the end correct.

but now,

i question if im even enough to deserve the title.

my anger is consuming me over nothing.

at the same time.

i feel so numb.

my throat feels tight.

like im going to cry.

my vision is blurry.

and yet.

as always.

i cant.

i wont.

im tired of the “sympathy” 

someone like me doesnt deserve it

i dont deserve it.

i dragged myself into this hell.

and im not getting myself out.

i said that the next time i fucked up i would kill myself.

here we are.

still- annoyingly- alive.

i dont know if ill try.

i dont feel.

scared.

to try.

pills, a noose, drowning, gunshot, razor blades, 

i know about every way to kill myself

i have about every way to kill myself

and yet

im still here.

alive.

my noose, sits beside my on the door, id have to move my chair, get a stool,

the last time i tried it didnt break,

and ive lost around 10 pounds, i know it wouldnt break, i know it would work, but as last time, it took too long, i got bored, ‘came to my senses’

the pills on the table, i know of at least three medications in them that would kill me, not to mention the combinations, but, i cant normally swallow pills well, i usually end up gagging, plus, getting your stomach pumped is really costy,

the water would be, rather easy i believe, ive only tried it once, but, after she tried to do that, i dont know if i could even force myself underwater, even to kill myself,

the gun that resides on that same table, it works, i have two bullets that fit it, no more, no less, i know it still works perfectly, granted being older than me, it probably would be my best chance, but, i - well, i cant say i remember the parts to shoot that are vital, thatll finish the job, and i really rather not waste my bullets and money on surviving,

the razor blades on my desk, everywhere, the black letters on the box reading “do it” only feels more like a calling, but, even when i try to cut deeper, i almost never can unless on accident, no matter how hard i seem to press- no matter how quickly i do it, i can never seem to get past the first layer of skin, 

i, really- really dont know what to do,

i said id attempt, i fucked up, im tired of people seeing this awful side of me, but when thats almost all you have left of what you can barely even call ‘you’. 

the only way i see my life going.

is ending.

weather the original plan,

suicide,

an accident,

i know in the end im destined to kill or get myself killed.

i truly don’t believe that ill die of anythint “natural” unless you consider jumping off a roof natural.

in a way, i want to listen to what she says,

to give up on art, become a scientist.

i know its not even possible,

its just my own sense of punishing myself, because the mental pain of knowing that i shouldve died years ago stings so much more than my arms ever will, hurting myself, barely hurts, and i know that the only person that it would hurt from- wont. 

even if i were to beg, plead, i know they wont.

its almost june.

i 

i dont really think i want to live to then,

im 

im scared that last year will repeat itself,

i dont know if its rightful,

but i want to get out of their life,

i dont want them to suffer like they did,

i dont want anyone to suffer besides myself.

and.

i believe that taking care of me.

is suffering.

therefore.

the only thing i feel i can do.

is leave.

i dont want to leave.

i want to stay with them.

but.

im horrified that ill fuck up again.

and no one needs to deal with that.

besides.

people get bored of others.

move on.

i seem to always be the only one who cant.

i know how illogical i sound.

i know that.

but to me it makes perfect sense.

its clear.

im so sorry.

[tendouluvr]

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

[kaz11283]

“Breathe” with Loki from the prompt list. I’m feeling some angst unless you want to not make it angst.

Breathe

Characters: Loki, reader, Thor, some guest appearances from some of the avengers

(Loki x reader) (Thor x reader, platonic)

Warnings: let the be angst

Summary: During a huge battle that you have all been training for you start freaking out, thank the lords Loki is there to help you through it.

Announcement: They requested angst and this is the first thing that came to mind, I truly hope you enjoy it though! Thank you everyone for the feed back and for the follows and the love!💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

You couldnt believe your luck you had made it all the way into the building and fought multiple bad guys to get to where you were at right now, cowering behind a desk in a dark room having a damn panic attack. You didnt even know what had brought it on. Well maybe the fact that you had some how gotten seperated by the others, or the fact that you had been chased by more of them than you had anticipated. Either way you were up that certain creek without a paddle.

"Y/n, talk to us. Where you at?" Tony came over the coms.

You wanted to respond but no words came out. The walls were closing in little by little and you didnt see yourself getting out of here. Everything was to much in this moment, the talking in your ear, the shouting and gun fire onnthe floor below you. You were weak, you knew that, no one else had ran from the fight like you had.

"Come on kid, we cant find you unless yountell us." Tony tried to reason with you. You heard the Hulk smashing through the building, oh god he wasngoing to cause the whoke building to fall.

"Lady y/n, we need your location so we can help you." Thor the graceful god of thunder, your best friend, didnt even get a response. "Loki, shes not answering us." You could tell the panic in his voice.

"Darling," the silk like voice came through your ear piece, "y/n, my dove, you have to help us to help you."

"Loki." You whimpered.

"Yes love, just tell us were you are so we can get out of here." His voice was slowly calming you.

"Panic attack," you took a deep breath in through your nose. You could just imagin the grace of him fighting, it was always something you enjoyed watching.

"Loki pay attention!" Clint yelled from somewhere above you. "You almost got hit." That shoved you right back into your shallow breaths, of course you would be the one to get him killed, he cared way to much for you, a simple midguardian.

"Shut up Clint, I know what I'm doing. I've been fighting for alot longer than you have." Loki yelled over the coms.

"Guys Lady y/n." Thor interrupted. Loki cleared his throat.

"Darling where are you at? Ill come to you." Loki promised.

"5th floor, behind a desk. Not sure what room." You placed your head between your knees.

"Thank god." Tony sighed. "He's on his way just stay there. Everyone else cover him. Make sure no one follows."

"Loki." You wimpered again.

"I am here love, just a few stairs away. Do your breathing exercises that we go over." He instructed. You kept taking deep breathes in through your nose and out your mouth.

"I'm starting to feel better now." You mumbled. You couldnt get over how embarrassing this was to have a melt down when your team needed you most. If it hadn't been for the ever so slight pressure on your back you would have never thought that anyone was there.

"I'm here love," Loki said from behind you pulking you up to your feet and into his arms, you took a deep breath breathing his sent in calming you even more. "Thats it, breathe, there you go. I'm gonna transport us to the jet. Hold on to me."

"But the others-"

"Its almost over, they will meet us back there. You need me, they can handle the rest." He tucked a peice of hair behind your ear.

After Loki had transported you both back to the ship he gave you a bottle of water and his zip up that he normally kept there for you. It wasn't long before the other join you.

You didnt meet anyones eyes you were still completely embarrassed about what had just happened to you, you didnt even notice Tony sit beside you anf place his hand on your knee.

"When we get back I want you, him, and him to meet me in the confrence room." He pointed between you, Loki, and Thor. "We have some things we need to go over about what happened tonight." Your heart sunk to your stomach, you figured you would get yelled at but not Loki or Thor, they hadnt done anything.

Back at the compound you and Loki followed behind Tony and Thor, your hands entwined.

"I didn't want you two in trouble also." You mumbled. He turned his head and gave you a small smile.

"Darling, if you think this is the first time thor and I have been called to the office you are very wrong. How are you feeling?" He gave your hand a slight squeeze.

"A little better, just dreading whats about to happen." You offered him a smile back.

"Y'all have a seat, y/n, I wanna know how long you've been having these attacks." Tony sat down opposite from the three of you.

"Depends, are you asking as my boss or as a father figure?" You said sitting up straighter.

"Depends on how long you've been having them." He raised an eyebrow.

"She's been having them on and off for most of her life." Thor spoke up. "Thor!" You whined

"But she hasnt really had a server one like that in quite a few months, she normally holds them together very well." Loki agreed. "Loki!" You whined again.

"You realize we can get you help for them." Tony answered looking at you.

"Look I have help, Loki does an amazing job keeping me calm and if hes not there next best thing is Thor. I dont know why it just popped up like that tonight. And theres really no way of telling except that maybe ive just been under alot of stress woth this whole mission..... And....and ...." Your breaths where getting shallow again and your eyes started watering, Loki placed his hand on your thight and started rubbing small circles calming you instantly.

"Ill tell you what, missions over so why dont you and Loki get away from here, get some fresh air. We all need it, you especially." Tony sat back in his chair with his fingers laced under his chin in deep though. "But you have to promise to tell me if you think your even remotely close to having another one of those. I had them, I didnt really treat them with a healthy cooping mechanism, but I did have them. I know what its like to have the world suddenly feel like its going to implode on you at any minute. Talk it through with someone though dont just suddenly go silent. Scared the hell outta me."

"Tony. I dont wanna just run away for a few days. Its gonna continue to be the same like it always has. Do good with no signs for a couple months and then boom big ass panic attack. I dont want meds for them either, and i do not under any circumstances see a damn shrink." You huffed flopping back.

"Ok. How about we get the whole team to escape for a little bit, go to the mountains? Heard the weather is nice out there. We can even call it a team building vacation." He slapped the table woth his hand like he had just solvee the worlds hardest problem.

"Fine, dont have to twist my arm to hard to get outta here for a week." You smiled.

"Promise me you'll be more open aboutbthese things, we cant help a team member thats hurting if the team member doesnt tell the team whats going on." He looked at you.

"Ok, fine I promise. I'll tell Loki everytime I dont feel right." You rolled your eyes.

"Alright deal, you kids go pack, we'll leave first thing in the morning." Tiny stood up and gave you a hug before walking out of the room.

~~~~~

Tag list:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

[creweemmaeec11]

I'm not sure what this little snippet is, but enjoy it anyway I guess aha!

-------------------------------------

It was about time the hero tried a different tactic. They were tired of waiting for the villain to do something, then showing up to stop it. This time, the hero wanted to stop the villain before anything happened in the first place.

It was genius, really, and was something the hero really should have tried a long time ago.

The only problem, was *finding* the villain in the first place.

It wasn't like the hero had a home adress.

He'd spent nearly two hours scouring the city, hopping from rooftop to rooftop with no sign of anything abnormal when he heard a faint, almost whimpering sound.

The hero was thankful they had heightened senses, otherwise they may not have heard it at all.

They used their super strength to climb up the tall building, continuing to hop a few more rooftops when they froze.

Their eyes landed on the villan. He was sitting on a slightly sloped roof, back against a brick wall where the building continued upward. Their knees where pulled taught to their chest, cape wrapped around them like a blanket to shield them from the chill of the cool night air. One arm was wrapped around their knees, holding their dagger while the other hand was wiping at their face, trying to disperse the tears- *they were crying*.

The hero suddenly felt uneasy. What were they supposed to do here? They always saw the villain as cold, heartless, emotionless but, clearly that wasnt the case. They weren't sure what to do, or even how to feel with that information.

Information they clearly weren't supposed to have, given how high up and secluded this spot was. The villain clearly wanted to be left alone.

But, they were a hero! They're job was to help people and this villain was clearly in distress! He couldnt just leave!

They jumped onto the same roof as the villain, who didnt seem to notice. They were still a good 7-10 meters away from them, but the villain was usually very intune with the environment. The hero had never been able to get even near this close to them without the villain being fully aware.

They were now close enough to use their enhanced hearing to hear the ragged breathes and rapid heartbeat of the other.

The hero took a breath.

"Beautiful night out tonight," the hero offered in a friendly, conversational tone. They were smart enough to know that directly asking what was wrong wouldnt get them anywhere.

The villains reply came in form of a violent flinch and sharp inhale of breath. Their head snapped to look at the hero, shock and... was that *fear* written all over their face?

The villain never wore a mask, much like the hero, but they did usually have a hood down over their face, so being able to see it this clearly was strange.

However, with being able to see it this clearly, the hero could see how red and puffy the area around their eyes were, their cheeks thoroughly damp with tears, their eyes red.

The villain immediately directed their dagger at the hero, scrambling backwards across the roof frantically.

The hero held their hands up, "I come in peace,"

The villain stared at them in shock for a moment, "why are you... what... how long have you been..."

Before the hero could reply, the villain shook their head, steeling their features and pushing themselves to their feet. They wiped their face and took a deep breath, grasping for some sense of composure.

"What do you want?!" They snapped, "Why are you here?!"

Their grip tightened on their dagger.

"Theres no need for that, I come in peace, I swear," the hero tried.

"As if you would ever show up just to chat," the villain hissed.

The hero surveyed the situation. Clearly, the villain, who was usually overly composed and smooth, was distressed.

The villain was doing a good job faking composure, but it was obvious in way their fret twitched, weight shifting from foot to foot, fingers flexing while their eyes darted all over the place. They were one wrong word away from taking off.

Right now, the hero was a threat, and he needed to be seen as not one.

Slowly- very slowly, so the villain could track their movements, the hero sat down on the roof, sliding themselves to sit back against the brick wall like the villan had previously. He bend a knee, resting his elbow on it as he looked out at the city. They didnt look over at the villain, trusting their super hearing to tell them if they moved.

"The view from up here is pretty breath taking," The hero commented casually.

"What?"

"My favourite spots are usually around the inner city, like the tops of the big office buildings, but this spot might be even better, with the already tall building being on a hill and all."

Finially the hero dared a glance at the villain.

They were standing in the same spot, though their posture was more relaxed. They were staring at the hero with a dumbstruck look on their face.

"What are you doing?" They asked, narrowing their eyes.

"I mean, we could talk about the weather if youd rather?" The hero smirked.

The villain glanced away, seemingly considering running again.

"Come on," the hero added, "it's not like you have anything interesting going on tonight,"

"That's a rude assumption to make," The villain replied jokingly, crossing his arms and relaxing more as he glanced at his feet.

"Please, you know if you had something important going on tonight I would have been bat signaled already,"

The villain snorted at that. They gave the hero another look over, before caving and settling back down against the roof.

"Is this your way of telling me your bored? Have I not been active enough for you?"

"Thats- not what I meant," the hero sputtered, causing the villain to chuckle slightly.

The hero glanced over, watching the villain twirl his dagger in the air mindlessly. Or, well, mindedly, considering they were using their telekinesis. But it was twirling in a non threatening way, just spinning in the air like a spin top.

"That's a pretty cool trick," the hero commented.

"What? Oh-" the villain blushed, plucking the dagger out of the air like he hadn't even realized hed been doing it.

"sometimes I wish I had a cooler power," the hero started so the villain wouldnt have to explain themselves.

"Wait, really?" The villan asked, looking at the hero in shock.

"Yeah, I mean, dont get me wrong, enhanced senses and strength are certainly handy, but they arnt as cool as like flight,"

The villain hummed, fidgeting with the dagger in their hands, twirling the tip against their finger.

"Super senses also have their downsides, like when someone is trying to surprise you by baking you something, but you can smell it before you even get in the house,"

"I get the feeling theres a story there,"

"Friends tried to throw me a surprise party, I could hear them shuffling and whispering from down the hall, and I could smell the cake and such,"

"Only a hero would view not being able to be surprised as a *downside*" the villain replied, rolling their eyes.

"I guess I shouldn't complain though, it helps with being a hero a lot, without the hearing I probably wouldnt have heard you,"

Out of the corner of his eye, the hero saw the villain immediately tense, bristling slightly.

"Is that why your here? Doing this? You think I'm someone in need of saving?" They hissed.

"Partly," the hero admitted, "I dont think anyone deserves to be alone when there upset, but I'm also making sure you arent up to anything dastardly,"

"Oh yeah, I'm always doing something villainous alright, like crying on a rooftop," they replied mockingly, before realizing they were admitting to crying.

"I wont pressure you into an answer, but you know I have to ask..." the hero replied after a moment of silence.

"Theres no way-"

"Before you turn me down," the hero interjected, "consider I'm one of the few people who may actually understand, considering the uh... line of work,"

The villain stared with a blank, unreadable expression for a few moments, before huffing and looking off to the horizon again.

"Its the anniversary of something. That's the only information your getting,"

The hero hummed in response, continuing to look off into the horizon. They both stayed silent.

In the end, it was the villain who broke it.

"I need to go." They stated, standing up.

"oh really? Where are you off to?" The hero asked with genuine curiosity.

The villain shot them a baffled look, "you know I'm not going to tell you that... right?"

"Oh,"

"Your weird, hero,"

"Why thank you," The hero joked.

"Until next time," The villain stated, before stepping backwards off the roof.

"Farewell!" The hero called.

Things were... different after that night.

Second part here!

[zhuhongs]

okay but since im feeling smth but also not im just gonna keep writing here smth that i think abt a lot but never put into words fully and i think i should.

i feel like im rlly the type of person that thinks alot and has a lot i want to say and want to share and a lot to let put but i cant do it with anyone. when im with others i let them lead. i suit my words to the people im with. i know ppl need to talk and say things bc i fund myself often wanting to speak freely and never feeling like i can. so i encourage others to be candid with me but im rarely candid back. or if i am, its in response to their own admissions. i dont reveal about myself on purpose. i dont tell ppl things bc i dont think they rlly ever want to hear it. i say what others find acceptable or relevant to hear. im candid inly when it serves the purpose to let others know theyre not alone. not as an admission of vulnerabilty for the sake of being honest. im amorphous. i feel like ive mentioned this before but theres an anime i saw in hs where one character was like this. and in an episode she had another character stay at her house and when they were eating dinner the guest said "hanekawa i feel like youre very much like me" (or smth like that) and continued to then go further but say that it wasnt that the other girl was like her. hanekawa simply was okay with anything and therefore let other ppl think she was similar to them and thus a good friend and relatable but truly she was just a doormat that went along with things and never asserted her own opinion. and i think abt a lot. i related so much to that character that was called out for being so passive. and yea. sometimes it just glares me in the face. i go through life passively. being candid only with myself in Private. letting others confess about themselves to me and never volunteering my hand unless i need to. even when i call my friends to talk abt my day or get advice i always end up shying away from what i want to say and letting them talk abt themselves. leaving myself to be a. perfect listener. im good at talking. i make great small talk eith my coworkers and classmates. i talk abt stuff we both like and relate to but nothing past the surface. never do i rlly dip into what i truly want to talk about. i can discuss work and school and the weather perfectly. no one can ever guess what im rlly like. not even my friends (theyve admitted this to me before) I never say anything thats rlly me. and thus the only times i speak and really speak my mind is on here. i wonder how much longer ill keep this up. how much longer ill let myself be a stranger to everyone i know. and conversely, i wonder how many of my friends and coworkers and such do the same to me. i wonder are we all just strangers to one another. will we ever connect deeper. idk if i know how to.

[randomoranges]

a million yrs ago i drew an art with the wheel. and there was a fic for an au and i was like theres another part thats not au

i never got around to it - didn’t really know how to go about it really

and then the other night this idea came to flirt with me and it had more banter but i still dont know how to plug my brain into a word doc so that convos that play in my head can happen on “paper”

anyways; yes i over use same themes over and over and over again :) 

Ferris Wheel Summer 2021+

  “So,” Edward started as they rounded the corner and had a clear view of the Ferris wheel, “How many times have you been on it since it opened?” He asked his boyfriend, joking tone and all. It was a bright sunny summer day and a walk around town had inevitably led them into the Old Port.

  “Honestly? Probably a lot less than you think – I’ve only been on it once,” Étienne told him with a shrug.

  “You got me; that is less than I thought, but you mean to tell me that you haven’t taken any of your hot dates on a romantic ride on the Ferris wheel?” Edward waggled his eyebrows for show and Étienne laughed, but crinkled his nose at the thought of doing such a thing.

  “Nah – it’s too much for a casual thing – too loaded. The whole get to the top and stop, romantic vibes abound and such. Ferris wheel is either for families, tourists or couples. Maybe a group of friends, but it depends.” He declared as though a study had been made on the fact and he had spent hours studying these factors.

  “All right, so you’re not a tourist, I doubt you came here with your brothers, last I heard you’re not in a relationship with anyone else – who’d you come with?”

  “You’re right on all accounts, but you forgot I have a sister. El and I came on opening day,” He admitted, if a little sheepish.

  “Of course you were here on opening day,” Edward said with a roll of his eyes. How silly of him to think that the Maisonneuve twins wouldn’t have been here on the inauguration of the wheel, when they were known to be at every opening of every new thing in the city – especially new, in vogue things. “But also, that’s sweet.” He added. He’d always thought it was nice how close Étienne and Élyse were and how even though they didn’t always agree and had different opinions on literally everything; their love for their city prevailed and they found time to enjoy it together. Edward tried to picture himself doing something of the likes with his own sister and nearly laughed. This would not have been the type of thing he and Edith would have done together, but then again, their relationship was different. Maybe it was a twin thing.

  They fell quiet and kept walking closer to the wheel, strolling down the boardwalk in front of it. It was nice to see the waterfront busy again and filled with locals and tourists alike after the emptiness that had befallen it in recent years due to the pandemic. In a sense, it reassured Edward that if anything, this part of the city was recovering and that Étienne would still have this.

  They stopped at a clearing and leaned against the railing to observe the wheel and the small plaza around it and it was nice to listen to the bird song and the excited chatter of the people around them, while below, others peddled on rented pedal boats.

  “We should go,” Edward said after a while, breaking the silence.

  “Now?” Étienne asked to be sure he was hearing right, surprised, really, that Edward would suggest going.

  “No, next Tuesday – yes now, come on. We’re here, I’ve never been, and I can tell you’d want to go on it again.”

  Edward smirked and Étienne closed his mouth, letting his comment die at his lips. His boyfriend had a point. He did actually want to go on it again, but going on it alone seemed a little silly and Emma hadn’t really wanted to ride the wheel. Bringing a fling had seemed like too much – as though he was trying to impress when really, they were both in it for something much different and less lasting. However, Edward was his boyfriend and – he had thought of bringing him out here. On more than one occasion. (But there had been a pandemic and then they had done other things on Edward’s last visit and there hadn’t been time for this.)

  Now, however...

  Edward grabbed Étienne’s hand and led him over the footbridge and to the small line. Étienne tried hard not to trip over the fact that Edward had willingly and without prompting reached out for his hand and then reverted to his usual “tour guide” information dump as he blabbered on about the finer points of the wheel, the design, the great features about it and the overall charm it had in this location. Edward thought it was utterly endearing and loved it when his boyfriend went into his excited chatter about different aspects of his city. He could hear the passion and love Étienne had for his home and it made some part of his heart melt. He’d missed this, over their break – missed the palatable excitement Étienne had and could have – the way his face lit up and his hands moved around as he gesticulated. 

  “Bonjour, deux billets s’il-vous-plait.”

  Étienne blinked and realised that he’d been distracted with his ramble to the point where Edward had snuck ahead of him and had now taken out his wallet to pay for the tickets.

  “Édouard.” Étienne cautioned, “What are you doing?” He wasn’t about to have his boyfriend pay, not when this was an extremely splurgy thing and highly unnecessary.

  “Buying our tickets, move over,” He nudged Étienne out of the way and managed to extract his credit card from his wallet, without Étienne ripping it out of his hands.

  “What – no, let me. We’re in Montreal. I pay for things in Montreal.”

  Edward looked him dead in the eyes as he tapped his card on the terminal, much to Étienne’s horror and shock. This was betrayal of the highest degree.

  “This is not part of our deal!”

  “Curly, we have no such deal.” Edward replied calmly as he took the tickets from the teller and thanked them, “Now, come along, you can pay for ice cream later.” Edward put his wallet away and then moved ahead, pleased with his little plan.

  “Who said anything about ice cream?” Étienne squawked as he followed Edward to the next line to get onto the Ferris wheel.

  “I did – you can take me afterwards.”

  Étienne tried to protest, but Edward took his hand again and led him to the railing to get to their Ferris wheel gondola. Étienne tried to pout and be annoyed, but his giddiness over being here with Edward quickly won out as they took their seats side by side.

  “See, these are high tech gondolas. You can fix your own temperature and either put the AC or the heating on, weather depending, and you get really nice views once you’ve gained some height.” His previous annoyance was quickly forgotten and Edward silently congratulated himself as Étienne’s previous mood returned.

  “Shall we put the heating on?” Edward teased as the doors closed and the gondola started moving quietly.

  Étienne rolled his eyes, “It’s summer; I’m good. We can put the AC on if it’s too hot for you. Wouldn’t want you to melt.”

  “We can compromise,” Edward said, rolling his eyes, fond, as he adjusted the dials so that they would both be comfortable, but if it was a degree or two on the cold side so that Étienne had an extra excuse to sit close to Edward, well, that was between them.

  They settled in afterwards and Edward took in the multiple angles of the view. “Are we supposed to make-out when we get inevitably stuck on the top, or...?” He asked as the wheel quietly turned, a gentle seamless whirring in the background.

  “Only if you want and you don’t think it’s too cliché.”

  Edward studied him for a moment as Étienne looked at him and then busied himself with the window. Even after knowing him for so long, Étienne could still be an enigma, but Edward liked to think that he had gotten quite good at deciphering him. For as much as his boyfriend claimed he didn’t do romance, Edward had finally found out that it had been a cover – to protect himself from his own difference – from his own way he felt and reacted to romantic attraction. It made sense now, retrospectively, and they’d talked about it, but knowing that and now knowing how it was Étienne felt about him, Edward could tell that there were certain “typical things” Étienne still wanted to do with him – even if they were considered to be a “cliché”.

  If anything, Edward thought it was endearing and even if he wasn’t the most outward of people when it came to expressing his emotions and love, he didn’t mind the idea of a kiss or two at the top of the wheel. There was no one else around them anyways. They never needed to tell anyone, if they so desired.

  But those were thoughts for later and for now, Edward focused on the view surrounding him.

  Étienne hadn’t been lying (not that he would have expected him to); the views were stunning. The canal hugged one side of the island, cradled it close and separated it from the two manmade islands that had been the crown jewels of Expo. Edward remembered that time fondly, even if it still seemed like a hectic fever dream, but there had been a bustle in the air of the city that had left everyone dreaming and hungering for a better future. They had been exciting times full of promise, somehow, and looking back, he thought he could still feel the remnants of that frenzy – still lingering in the air, caught in small glimpses on occasions. Now there were only a few buildings left, prestigious in their own ways, and they added to the charm and attraction of the city, nestled safely in their own spots of the picturesque postcard view.

  Behind, the Clock Tower stood proud and erect, a beacon of the past that guided tourists and city folk alike to come and admire its beauty. Further away still, if Edward turned on his seat, the Jacques Cartier bridge connected Montreal to the South shore, while it looked over the brilliant turquoise greens of the water on a sunny day. Sometimes, if the light hit just right, Edward could swear he saw a mirrored image in Étienne’s own eyes and he would feel pulled in – lured in and he’d willingly go – every time.

  The wheel completed its first turn and there was still much he hadn’t properly looked at. The Old Port came into view and then panned out as the wheel gained height once more. From above, he could see how the original village – the original city of Montreal had fought floods, fires and winters alike to survive and expand. The original building blocks may have been safely buried underneath their feet and preserved lovingly in Pointe-à-Callière, but the true spirit of the city – the heart of it really – of what it had been and had become lay further ahead, ensconced and treasured in the heart of the mountain that had guided and sheltered many for so long. There, really, was the essence, he believed.

  It happened on the third turn. The wheel came to a gentle stop at the top and Étienne leaned closer to one of the sides to get a better look at the waterfront, the bridge, the Biosphere in the back and the bustle of activity below them, mesmerised in what he saw. “It’s really something from this angle...” He murmured, almost as if to himself.

  And Edward had to take a small step back to take in the fuller picture before him. The gentle smile splayed out on Étienne’s face was a sight to behold on itself and the way his boyfriend’s face relaxed as he took in the scenery pulled at his heart. Edward could read, even from here, the pride and joy Étienne felt in seeing his own people mingling about and how that tiny little village from before had evolved over the centuries – had thrived despite all odds. Here was where one part of the story had started and further ahead was its origin point, but Étienne was all of that – the element that brought it all together.

  It hadn’t always been easy and Edward knew of the struggles Étienne had gone through, but the soft look on his face was worth it and a look he hoped Étienne could carry more often than not. He wordlessly reached for his boyfriend’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as they both quietly took in their own different views.

  “It really is,” He agreed, “It really is,” He repeated, softer.

  Étienne did the mistake of turning to look back at him and Edward was left speechless by the depth of green he saw in Étienne’s eyes; lured and pulled in once more, like always. Étienne gave him the softest of smiles and Edward swore that the butterflies he felt in his stomach were real; that the swooping feeling he always got when Étienne smiled at him was here to stay.

  He tugged himself closer, pulled gently on Étienne’s hand until they were closer and then caressed his boyfriend’s cheek. Edward’s hand was certain and warm, and Étienne leaned closer to him still, holding him, not wanting to let go just yet.

  “I love you,” Edward thought, pressing his lips to Étienne’s as the Ferris wheel started its descent. And maybe Étienne heard his thoughts, for the look on his face when they pulled away was open and loving. He looped his arms around Edward’s neck, laughing softly, before going for another kiss and then a third and a fourth.

  He didn’t know what it was about the circular form of the gondola – the safety of the bubble that gave them both an illusion of being in a safe enclosure, but it made Edward just a little more daring as he chased a kiss across his boyfriend’s lips and it made Étienne cherish the moment even more.

  FIN   

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 10)

Bakugo x Reader

Barefoot in the Kitchen

Words: 2406

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

Moving was awful. You hated packing. You hated unpacking. You hated the weather. It was too damn hot. You hated everything. It didn't help that you were still feeling sick. You had gone to see a doctor after Bakugo practically forced you to, and they had run some test. You were expecting a call any minute now to discuss the results.

Bakugo had been so irritable the past few days. He hated moving just as much as you did. He wanted everything to be put away in its proper place as soon as possible and you were just slowing everything down. He had to go behind you and fix everything because he liked everything a certain way. He was trying not to yell at you because he knew you weren't feeling well, but then he would just get even more frustrated because he knew you were ill and he didn't know how to make it better. So he was grumpy and you were cranky and you both just needed a break.

After your apartment was compromised you both had decided it was time to move into a house. You were pro heros, you could afford it, so you moved into a nice gated community. It was a lot farther from work than you would have liked, but weirdly enough it was kind of close to UA. Maybe you’d go pay Aizawa a visit soon.  

You were in the middle of putting the dishes away (which you knew was pointless because Bakugo was just going to rearrange them anyways) when your phone rang. Giving you an excuse to take a break.

“Hello?”

“Hello is this Y/n Y/L/N?”

“Yes. Can I ask who is calling?”

“This is Dr. Jeong. You came into my clinic yesterday. I’m calling with your test results.”

You sighed in relief, “Oh thank god. What’s wrong with me doc and how do I fix it.”

He cleared his throat sounding a bit uncomfortable, “Well I wouldn’t necessarily say anything is wrong with you. And as for how you fix it... well I would say you should be fine in about eight months.”

You froze.

“Y/N you are pregnant. Congratulations.”

“I’m.. what? I’m Pregnant?”

“I take it by your tone you were not expecting this. But yes, you are pregnant about four to five weeks along I’d say. If you would like to set a follow up appointment I would be glad to refer you to an excellent colleague of mine who is an OBGYN.”

It took a while before you realized he was waiting for you to respond, “Oh.. uh yeah. That would be great. Would you mind emailing it to me. I’m in the middle of moving and I don’t have anything to write it down.”

“Of course. I’ll have someone send that over to you right away. In the meantime I would hold back on overusing your quirk. All that exertion isn’t good for the baby and is likely what is making you so sick. It’s your bodies way of trying to get you to slow down. Do you understand?”

You felt like a child be scolded for something you didn't even know you did, “Oh yeah of course! Had I known I wouldn't have been pushing myself so hard to begin with!”

“Well that’s all I have for you now. Have a great day and congratulations again.”

You sat there suspended in time for a while. You didn't know how to feel. On one hand you were really excited. You’ve always wanted kids, and you cant imagine doing it with anyone other than Bakugo. On the other hand. You’ve only been together for a little over six months and you don’t even know if he wants kids. You hadn't had that talk yet. Sure Zuko grew on him, but Zuko is not a human baby.

“Oi, what gives? You’ve been staring at that box of dishes for like five minutes.”

Your cheeks flushed, “Oh uh nothing! I was just trying to figure out where I should put the coffee mugs.”

He squinted his eyes at you like he didn't believe you, but he didn't push you, “Probably in the cabinet above the coffee pot... You know like most normal people.”

“Pfffft why didn't I think of that. Thanks Honey. What would I do without you!”

He kept looking at you like you had lost your mind, “Look I’m going to the store to pick up some stuff, is there anything you need while I'm there? And no, Ice cream is not an option... You’ve literally been eating it everyday and someone has to be the adult. You need real food.”

You bit your lip as you realized how dad like that statement was. “Okay Dad...” You giggled at your stupid little inside joke. Oh you'd be getting that ice cream. “I’m fine just hurry back,”

He kissed your cheek, “Try not to break anything while I’m gone okay.”

As soon you heard the door click closed you ran to the bedroom. You shuffled through boxes of clothes until you found a plain white t shirt. You knew Bakugo would get mad but you didn't care. He’d only be mad for a minute... you hope.

You took out a sharpie and wrote Big Brother on it.

“Come here Zuko! Come here buddy!” You slipped the shirt over him with little fuss. “Oh daddy’s in for a surprise when he gets home huh? Oh yeah we’re going to freak him out aren't we buddy?” You rubbed Zuko's head before going to your stomach. Oh this is so weird. Theres something growing inside of you. Like a little human is in there right now! A little Bakugo... oh shit, “Baby please don’t blow mommy up okay?”

You sat your pregnant ass down on the couch, deciding you are done with unpacking for the day. And no one can tell you shit because you’re pregnant and that’s just how it goes.

Bakugo retuned home and went straight to the kitchen to put away the groceries, “Y/N! Did you not do a single thing while I was gone? You literally asked me where to put the coffee mugs and then you just left them on the counter...”

You stood in the doorway to the kitchen, “Daddy’s home!”

He rolled his eyes, “I swear are you on something I don’t know about? You’re acting so weird. Since when do you call me daddy? We’re kinky but we’re not that kinky y/n.”

Just then Zuko ran in excited to see Bakugo, “And what the fuck is this?! That’s my shirt women. You cant go putting my clothes on the fucking dog! Have you fucking lost it?”

You went over and started putting the coffee mugs away while he leaned down to try and take the shirt off Zuko.

“Big brother? Fuck Y/N did you get another dog? We just finished training Zuko we dont have time...” You froze as you let him put the pieces together.

“Get the fuck out of here? Are you pregnant?”

You were too scared to see his reaction so you just nodded, continuing to put away coffee mugs. You leaned over to pick up a box of cutlery.

“PUT IT DOWN! Are you trying to kill me! You tell me you’re pregnant and then immediately attempt to pick up a heavy box. Put it the fuck down!”

You finally turned around to see Bakugo with tears threatening to spill out. He took your face in his hands, “You’re really pregnant?”

You nodded again, a tear slipping down your cheek. “Yes, I got the call today..” His lips crashed to yours.

You pulled back to look him in the eye, “So I take it you’re okay with that?”

He dropped to his knees and kissed your still flat belly, “Okay with it? I’m so fucking excited! Y/N we get to have a little mini you!”

You laughed, “Or a mini you. I’d be okay with a little Katsuki.”

He scoffed,  “I was a little asshole.”

You quirked an eyebrow, “Was?”

He slapped your ass, “Just because you’re pregnant doesn't mean you can get sassy with me now.”

You ran your fingers through his hair, “Oh that’s exactly what it means. Now let’s go get that Ice cream you told me I wasn't aloud to have.”

He stood back up and kissed your forehead, “I dont know. Now that I know you're pregnant I feel like I should be cooking even healthier food. Only the best for my baby.”

“Katsu-”

“I’m kidding! Besides... I already got you ice cream.”

You kissed his nose, “You’re the best!”

He picked you up and placed you on the counter, “Is it weird that knowing you’re pregnant makes me want to take you right here?”

You bit your lip, “Is it weird that I want you too?”

Your sweatpants were practically torn off and within seconds he was pushing inside you. “Of fuck babe!” You didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what but you could have came right then and there. You were so sensitive.

He was so gentle which was so unlike him. He pressed his forehead against yours, one hand on your hip the other one cradling your neck. He left soft kisses all over your face and chest. It was so sweet. He took one of your breasts in his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze which had you moaning, “I can’t wait for these to get even bigger.”

You huffed, “They're not the only thing that’s going to get bigger... I’m going to blow up like a balloon.”

He took you chin in his hand and gave you a fierce kid. “That just gives me more of you to love. You’ll always be the sexiest woman in the room to me.”

So that’s how you christened the kitchen. And then the living room. And then you tried to clean up and take a shower, and damn if you didn't fuck there too.

Now you were both laying in bed, completely naked, spooning and watching something on netflix. Katsuki’s hand rubbed lazy circles on your stomach, “You think I’m going to be a good dad?”

You took took his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers, “I think you’re going to be a great dad.”

When he didn't respond you elaborated, “I think you’re going to love our kid with a passion thats unmatched by anyone. Just like the way you love me. I think you’ll teach them to be smart enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and I think you’ll teach them to be strong enough to choose right every time no matter hard that might be. You’ll teach them to be brave and hardworking just like you.”

He nuzzled his head into your shoulder, “I don’t deserve you. You’re so sweet, and loving and.. and just genuinely kind. I know that’s what you’ll teach our kids. You’ll teach them empathy, compassion, and selflessness. I may teach them how to fight but you’re definitely going to be the one to teach them when to walk away. You’ll teach them to see the best in others and how to express their feelings in a positive way.”

“Sounds like a pretty damn good kid if you ask me.”

You didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling, “Well they’re our kid, of course they’re going to be awesome. Can you imagine if they go one our quirks? Or shit maybe some weird combination of the two? Unstoppable. Future number one hero material!”

You rubbed your stomach, “I’m just glad kids don't develop quirks until after they're born and a little older. Can you imagine a vanishing baby?! Or having to worry about the little nugget setting off explosions while they’re still in the womb?!”

He chuckled, “I remember my mom duck taping fire retardant gloves on my hands when I was little to keep me from setting things on fire. Little did she know she was just making it worse because my hands sweat so much worse in the gloves and made me explosion so much bigger.”

“Yeah you joke all the time about putting a bell on me but my dad actually would do that! Of course when I was little I could only go a couple feet but still, he was losing me constantly!” Bakugo was full on laughing now, “Well at least we’re not our parents right? We’ll be able to help them out a little no matter what their quirk is.”

His laughter stopped and you could tell there was something bothering him. “What if they’re quirkless?” You could hear the sadness in his voice. No doubt remembering all the years he bullied Izuku for being quirkless.

“So what? We’ll love them anyways. And when they get older we’ll tell them the story about uncle Izuku and how he wanted to be a hero so bad he practically made it happen.”

“What if they hate me? The way I hated my mom...?”

You turned around to see the worry etched into his face, “None of that now. They will love you! It’s hard not to.” You gave him a soft smile.

“Oh shit what if it’s a girl?!”

You giggled, “What do you mean? Just an hour ago you were hoping it was a little mini me.”

He ran a hand over his face, “Yeah well that was when I was imaging a little baby, maybe even a toddler. I’d love to have a daddy’s girl. But shit what about when she gets older? You’re beautiful! If she looks anything like you I’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick!”

“Or girls. You don’t know what she’s into...”

“FUCK! I’ll have to worry about everyone! I’ll never be able to sleep at night!”

You laughed, “Ah you’ll be fine. Maybe you’ll luck out and we’ll have a boy first. A little mamma’s boy”

He smirked, “I like how you say first. Insinuating that there will be more kids after this one. We’ll have our own little hero family...”

You gave his lips a quick peck, “Sounds like a great idea to me. After all we are pretty good at the whole baby making process by now”

He gave you a devilish grin, “Oh yeah, all this talk about baby making... makes me want to you know practice.”

[obeymematches]

(1 part) hello, may i request a matchup? ^^ i’m a 5’1 ft tall female w/ red hair that goes down to my waist. i have really pale skin that easily burns and gets hurt, and my eyes change colors from hazel to blue to green. i have a more darker wardrobe, only wearing black clothing. i dont trust people easily, and i dont talk easily. usually anything i say is offensive to at least someone. i have more of a darker themed humor. i’m also used to seeing gore, as ive watched american horror story.

(part 2) im from somewhere of cold temperatures but i enjoy being in hot temperatures. i’m a cat and reptile person, as well. i dont like getting gifts, seeing as i dont like people waisting their money on me. ‘^^ i easily get jealous and can be over possessive when it comes to my S/O. even though that’s a bad trait to have, i cant help it. i’m not a person to cheat, and when i do get into a relationship, im committed from the start. i mostly pay more attention to personality instead of looks. (Part 3, sorry its gone over your limit. ‘^^) i dont like being ignored and i dont like toxicity. i’m more of a protective lover, ready to fight anyone i need to if they make my s/o upset. i mainly go for shy people, but not innocent ones. i dont like a oblivious personality either, it gets annoying for me. haha, sorry for the spam in your inbox. im more into the undateable characters then the brothers, to be honest. ^^

Hi!!!

Thank you for sending in a request!!

I hope you like the result! oh you didn’t go over the limit, in fact you did how i like it! (i like long requests thats why i said 2 asks are the minimum i’d like to see/person) 

I decided to match you with Barbatos!

Okay so the fact that you prefer the undateables narrows down the circle quite a bit, but I can see the relationship work with him. 

Out of the bunch he is the one who wears dark clothes the most, so the two of you would match a lot when it comes to dressing up. (think about matching couple shirts or when a couple wears exactly the same outfit) 

Barbatos doesn’t really talk often either, unless he is asked to do so. Thats probably how he started talking with you! However he would adore our jokes from his distance even before you started talking. 

We do not know much about him, but we just happen to know that he likes to torture people/creatures in his house, so it’s good that some gore isn’t going to scare you away. 

So the fact that you like different temperatures means a perfect partner for you should be able to (travel with you) control the weather OR control all the time lines that ever existed so he is basically always spending time with you in a warm place. (i mean if he is the only one who can do that pls tell me who the f is going to keep track of his day offs.)

It is nice that you are aware of your bad habits and that you made an effort to change before (even if the result wasn’t really what you wanted) and I think he is a man who is mature enough to value that in you. Also, I don’t really see him as a popular character so you really don’t have nothing to worry about here. 

I feel like Barbatos would be a committed lover, I mean he is known to be loyal, as far as I know (though i’m only at chapter 23 so no spoiler pls)

 Hmmm I don’t think Barbatos is the guy who gets upset a lot or someone who needs to be protected, but I’m sure he appreciated all the effort you put into the relationship. Also expect to get spoiled whenever he has free time! 

Oh he is definitely shy but not innocent! so it’s a bonus that he is exactly your type

I think Barbatos is very aware of what is happening around him, so it’s good that theres no turn-off about him! 

You didn’t really mention any hobbies or interests besides AHS but ig that means you like to watch some shows. I think Barbatos would be more than fine with that, I mean being the butler of the prince must be very tiring, so some chilling at the end of the day is always welcome! 

I feel like over time he would open up a lot to you, but emphasis on over time. I just think he is super careful about who he chooses as a partner. 

[princecupcakee]

Park Bench | Reddie

Read on AO3

Rating: E

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 3,112

Chapter: 6/8

Past Chapters: Chapter 1 (AO3), Chapter 2 (AO3), Chapter 3 (AO3), Chapter 4 (AO3), Chapter 5 (AO3)

Next Chapter:

Summary: Recently divorced and ‘incapable of love’, Eddie Kaspbrak moves to Los Angeles for work and a small, small hope of a fresh start. Broken up and never dated again, Richie Tozier tries to get back into love with help from his love of music. Quickly meeting eyes and one concert later, they think that maybe love isn’t that bad. So they try it one more time.

Chapter 6: Eddie Kaspbrak Gets Hurt, Richie Tozier, Stan And Patty Uris, And Ben and Beverly Marsh Buy A Ring & Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon Plan A Leave

Tags/Warnings: Angst / Unhappy Ending / theres only one sex scene but this is explicit anyway / Bisexual Richie Tozier / Gay Eddie Kaspbrak / Post-Divorce / Implied/Referenced Cheating / Inspired By Remembering Sunday (All Time Low) / Inspired by The Book Ninja by Ali Berg / Implied/Referenced Child Abuse / Implied/Referenced Abuse / Implied/Referenced Manipulation

Tag-list: @richietoaster, @s-s-georgie, @mikeuris, @gazebobullshit, @that-weird-girls-blog, @tozierking, @thoughtfullyyoungduck, @s-onora, @bellarosewrites, @lermanslogan, @ambitiousskychild, @ghostnebula, @vanillaredvelvet, 

(Ask if you wanna be on the tag-list!!)

Chapter 6

Eddie Kaspbrak Gets Hurt

Richie was out getting… something (he didn’t tell Eddie), he said it would take a while. Which left Eddie in an uncomfortable state. He didn’t want it to happen again, he didn’t want to lose something as important as this.

~

“How could you do this? You cheated on me, Eddie! With a man! I thought you cared for me, you didn’t want to hurt me!”

“Myra, I’m sorry. It was a mistake-“

“How was that a mistake? You’ve been dating for three months, Eddie. And you just pass that off as a mistake?”

“None of that was supposed to happen, Myra! I didn’t know what I was doing!”

“The texts seem to say otherwise.”

“Fine!  Lets get a divorce!”

“What?”

“I’m done! I can’t do anything here. You’re always saying that I’m hurting you, then I’ll stop! This marriage was headed for doom the moment it happened.”

“Are you hearing yourself, Eddie? This is crazy! This is what that man has done to you!”

“None of that was him, it was me! I don’t want this marriage, I don’t want this life! I’m sorry, I know what I did was wrong and I should’ve just told you before this got out of hand, but I didn’t. So, I’m sorry. This is how we fix this.”

~

Eddie, feeling incapable of love, takes a safe seat on the couch. ‘What the hell am I doing here?’ He thinks to himself, bringing his face into his hands. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he’s been thinking about this the whole time. He’s been thinking of leaving, this whole time. He’s been so happy with Richie. Of course, he was. But his past is taunting him, following his every move and making him afraid.

He doesn’t want to hurt Richie. The best thing to do is to leave. Just as he did with Myra. That is how you fix it, right?

Fuck. He needed a drive. Now. Richie took his car out though, and talking to yourself at the train station isn’t a thing he would really want to do. Run. That’s it. Thats what he’ll do. He’s always been good at track; this should be fine. His mother wasn’t here to stop him this time.

So he put on his shoes and stepped out the door. It was never that cold in Los Angeles, people casually went out on runs. But when he bolts away from Richie’s place, ran straight onto the road with his eyes closed from pushing back tears then getting hit by a car, he thinks maybe running was a bad idea.

He woke up in a shaking ambulance. His eyes shut, he should’ve expected this. Its not like he hasn’t woken up in an ambulance before.  ‘I thought the point was to help people, I feel like I’m gonna throw up’ he thinks bitterly. He closes his eyes again, he didn’t need to be asked questions, or checked on, just needed time to think. ‘You wanted a drive now you got one’ his mind laughs at him. He was tired, but he did need to think. He could make a run for it, leave without a word. But that wouldn’t be fair to Richie, would it? He’d do anything to keep Richie. Keep him happy, keep him in his life, whichever he meant, it still fits his description. He could pick a fight. He was good at that. He cheated on his wife, he would know how to cause problems.

If Richie were to see him at the hospital, which was likely, he could pick a fight. A quick, simple, small fight that he would enlarge, ruining every smile he received since the divorce. He wants to deserve Richie. He needs it. But he can’t just be that person. Plus, Richie would find out sooner or later, that he’s truly incapable of not fucking up love. The love in his marriage wasn’t real. He tried to remember if he ever thought it was. Hell, if he fucked up a love he only created in his head, how could he be capable of real fucking thing? He knew it sounded stupid, but his heart felt like it was being thrown into an incinerator, maybe that meant it wasn’t.

Its too much for him to handle, thats easy to admit, but to admit to himself that he’s so in love would be a little harder. He knew where this was headed before it even started, he was too much of a mess. He shut his eyes tighter. Richie has the perfect job for him now, he’s got his friends, he’s got a place, he should be fine without Eddie. Eddie was just scared, and incapable, and destructive, and defensive, and nothing that Richie would need.

He promised himself that night, seeing Myra cry and beg for him to stay, that love was too much. That he couldn’t handle hurting someone like that.  He hurt his mother so much as a child, she would always say so after Eddie would leave the house for longer than she’d said to. Was she really hurt? Eddie couldn’t tell anymore, he just knew that she didn’t like it. Myra was mostly the same, was hurt when ever Eddie would do something that he wanted to without telling her first. Seemed as if most of what he wanted wasn’t allowed.

He knew that it was trauma. That it was built into his head that he’s always hurting people. But he’s still scared. Its one thing to know what happened, its another to know how to deal with it. Eddie didn’t know the latter. He’s been trying, really, but in the early hours of the morning, when Richie would be sound asleep beside him, he’d wonder if he hurt Richie. He probably would. So, the best plan would be to leave, where Richie could forget about him, and go on as if he never existed, maybe then he couldn’t hurt Richie.

So, when Richie sees him in the hospital, worried and almost in tears, his heart twists.

“Eddie, what happened? Are you okay?” Richie rushes, Beverly, Ben, Stan, and Patty following behind. Eddie doesn’t bother to ask why.

“I'm fine,” he says stubbornly.

“What happened to you?”

“I went out for a run, got hit by a car, I’m fine though.”

“You aren’t fine, you got hit by a car,” Richie says loudly. Eddie wonders if this hurt him.

“So? I’m still breathing, Richie.”

“You’re still- you’re still breathing? So? Your fucking hurt I thought you were a risk analyst!”

“What? So you’re gonna get mad at me for getting hurt? It was an accident, I can do everything just fine. We can go back now, I’m not in any pain,” Eddie waves off. He really was in pain though, a throbbing headache, his sides feeling like they’ve been stabbed.

“We’re not going back, you have to stay here and heal, from… that!” Richie gestures to Eddie in the hospital bed.

“You can’t just tell me to stay here, I’m fine, this is my body anyway.”

“You’re being a dick, man.”

“Do I look like I care?”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“You’re not doing shit!”

Silence followed after that, Richie with tears in his eyes and Eddie trying to hold his back. ‘This is how to fix it’  he reminds himself, turning his head to face away from Richie.

“Well… how can I do something?” Richie asks softly.

Another minute of silence, “You can’t,” Eddie chokes out, “can you please just leave?”

“Okay.”

~~~

Richie, seated on a hard cold chair in the hospital, tries to breathe. Calling him a dick was probably unnecessary, he was hurt after all. That was probably his fault. Yeah, he was trying to help Eddie but he wasn’t doing it right. He did feel as if he was a bit controlling. Thats always what Connor would say. Every time he asked him where he was going, who that girl he was with was, why he wouldn’t come home at night. He was controlling.

He should apologize, he really is in love with Eddie. Mike and Bill are in Eddie’s hospital room right now, he should just go in there. A normal apology might not do it. He grinned. Everything fits into place. He just hopes Eddie says ‘yes.’

Richie Tozier, Stan And Patty Uris, And Ben and Beverly Marsh Buy A Ring

“I’m horrified,” Richie mumbles walking into the store. They were buying a ring now. Richie’s plans all fitting into place.  He had told Eddie that he went out to buy something, though, he doubts Eddie was really listening. Patty, Stan, Ben, and Beverly were here with him, they were the only ones who knew about the proposal.

He had the perfect plan. He’d replay the day they first kissed. Well, without the date of course. And seeing Walter and Maddison. (He still wonders how to fill that gap.) Pulling Eddie out of bed to take him to a different restaurant with a similar view to the one before. He didn’t want Eddie to exactly notice his plan so a normal too-early-watch-the-sunrise breakfast would do. He would take Eddie out around town, anywhere the wind took them, by sundown, they would be back, seated on the bench a ring in Richie’s hand and one knee on the ground. He had checked the weather for that day, it was most likely to rain that night, which fit perfectly to his plans. And, if not, it would work either way.

Maybe he’d play a game again, ask Eddie to marry him as they talked. He was still debating that part since Eddie talked about his divorce to Richie that day. Well, he mentioned it. Eddie wouldn’t really tell him things. It wasn’t something he really liked to do. He told Richie nothing about his divorce, his family, it's almost like it didn’t happen. But it affected Eddie, Richie could tell that. It slightly worried Richie. Eddie wouldn’t really let him in. Anything about his past seems to be missing, something long gone and thrown away. If Eddie didn’t want to talk about it, that was fine, sometimes Richie just hoped he would tell him sometimes. Richie just hoped that he could help.

“Don’t worry about it, Richie,” Patty says, smiling.

A quick thank you to Patty, “remind me again how you know Eddie’s ring size?” He asks Beverly.

“I helped him look for rings when he got married.”

“Oh God that makes it worse. What if he doesn’t wanna get married anymore? Did his divorce suck? He didn’t tell me much about it-“

“Richie,” Stan says, walking over to a jeweler. Richie walks over to a different one with Bev.

“You should ask him yourself, Rich. About his divorce. All I really know is that he loves you,” Beverly smiles after asking to see three different rings (which Richie thought was a bit extra.)

“I guess thats… yeah, thats a better idea.”

“I know you’re doing this again but, I mean, I’m really believing in this one, I’ve known Eddie a long time.”

Richie appreciated the comment in silence. He believed in this too. “You’re marriage has been perfect, how?”

Beverly was surprised by the question, “I guess, love? It isn’t that easy to explain, and everything I’m going to say would be cheesy as fuck, but yeah, I guess love would be it.”

“You and Ben are such sappy assholes,” Richie laughs, earning a playful punch to the shoulder from Beverly.

“When are you proposing anyway?”

“Saturday,” he smiles confidently.

The jeweller brought up the box of rings set inside the glass box. Beverly had chosen three. Two golden bands with matching circular diamonds embedded into it, a pair of golden rings with three blue diamonds, and the third, a silver ring with a large square diamond in its centre. Richie hated the last one for sure. He debated it for a few minutes, the first pair or the second.

“I’d say the gold one with the blue ones,” Stan says, coming up behind them.

“Yeah,” Richie smiled, “could you carve something on the inside of that?”

“Of course,” the jeweler replied, “just write down what you want,” he pulled out a piece of paper that Richie was sure wasn’t there and wrote ‘R + E’ The jeweler then explained the prices and the ring in words Richie would only dream to understand.

He was buying a ring for Eddie. He was going to try proposing, he was going to ask Eddie to marry him. The thought alone made Richie’s heart race, but he smiled. This love is worth a shot. This would work. Eddie wouldn’t do want Connor did to him. Eddie is kind, and brave and caring, and everything Richie could ask for. Richie wondered if the cheesier something sounds, the more true it is. It seemed to fit the definition.

“Hey, Rich?” Stan says beside him. Bev was off somewhere with Ben now, Patty was looking at a few necklaces, leaving Richie and Stan together.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really proud of you man,” he pats Richie’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” he smiled fondly.

“I was worried about you, man. After… Connor, I didn’t think you’d want to keep with it.”

“Eddie’s really amazing.”

“I can tell,” he smiles.

“Don’t take him from me. If you got that hot shit, Mike, you could probably get Eddie too.”

“Who- who told you that?” Stan asked punching Richie’s arm.

“What is it with people punching me?” He rubs his arm exaggeratedly.

Stan laughed, “‘cause you’re a dick.”

His phone rang, echoing around the store, gaining looks. ‘Eds Spaghetti’ flashed on his screen. “hey!”

“Sir, I have Mr. Edward Kaspbrak’s phone with me and you were on the emergency dial. He is in the hospital,” the woman on the other line gave an address, and Richie shut his phone to head to the hospital.

Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon Plan A Leave

“Eddie, are you sure about this? This is the one time its working out for you, we both think so,” Mike says sympathetically gesturing to him and Bill.

“I’ve made enough fucking mistakes I don’t wanna keep fucking shit up.”

“B-but you aren’t!” Bill argues, he opens his mouth to say more but Eddie cuts him off.

“I will, Bill. You know me just as well as I do, I can’t do this,” it hurts when he says that. He’s about to burst into tears, he knows it, so he breathes slowly.

“I haven’t seen you this happy, Eddie. This is… new. This is something thats good for you,” Mike has always been rational. The one to make decisions and the one to ask for help. But Eddie doesn’t need help. He doesn’t want to change what he thinks, he doesn’t want to be persuaded away, leading to what he knows will happen.

Bill and Mike are talking again, but he doesn’t want to hear anything else. He tries not to blink, the tears will probably fall the second he does. ‘This isn’t a mistake’, he thinks. He wants to think. There’s nothing for him here, nothing that can fix him. He’s going back to New York City, he’ll find an apartment, he’ll go to work, thats all. At this point, he doubts he’ll fall in love again. Richie might. Richie will, he likes to think. Someone better than he is. Someone who can give Richie what he deserves.

Richie told him about Connor. All the things he did, all the horrible words he said. Eddie hated it. He only wishes he could be with Richie for that long, Connor just wasted it. Sometimes he would wonder if Connor regrets it (or if he could make Connor regret it) and wondered if that would happen to him. When he leaves, would he regret it? If he was being selfish, probably. But he was doing this for Richie. This would be good for him. This is how you fix things.

“I’m going to do it,” he whispers, “I don’t care if you don’t think this is a good idea, sometimes I don’t think it is. But thats just me wanting to make things worse. I’m going.”

The tears were bursting out now, but Mike and Bill didn’t move (as much as it hurt them to do so.) “You c-can change y-your mind, Eddie. Y-you can change. I th-think you already have,” Bill says softly.

Eddie just sits there, his breathing is still mostly still steady. People always said that, that you could change. And most people can. He knows he can. But the risk of hurting someone while still just trying to change. That in-between point where your still figuring out what and how to change from the way you were before to the way you want to be. There is always a risk. Nothing is ever easy. He learned that.

Richie is someone he didn’t want to hurt. He’s gone through being hurt before, and its effects were pretty clear. Eddie could do that, Eddie probably will. This was inescapable. If he couldn’t hold himself back then, how would he do it now? With the ‘power of love’? Love exists he’s sure of that, but what would it be able to do? What would it be able to fix?

When Eddie’s in tears, all his anger goes away. All of the fire inside of him leaves. All there is the pain it has left. “I wish I thought the same as you, Bill,” he weakly laughed.  

Bill and Mike didn’t protest anymore, knowing it would be useless. Eddie’s going to leave Los Angeles on Saturday, and there’s no stopping him. They wonder if there ever was a way to. But they doubt it.

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S3 E2

quarantine diaries: june 20 2020

season 3 episode 2 : “wanheda: part 2″

They got bellamy so fast like these grounders were ready. but also this was like the least hostile i-got-you situation ever. and man did that grounder yeet bellamy out of that sun roof

Monty’s mom?! yes yes yes i accept more on monty’s backstory

This city of light looks like the getty in LA 

Murphy looks even more like the boys at my college and its annoying me

What is this flirting btw murphy and Emori? its kinda cringe but murphy is definitely into it

Lacroix...his parents were hipsters

“your father didn’t make it” what is with all these kids only having one parent each??

i love this little bro moment between Monty and Bellamy.

Indra and pike? with those intense eye contact...Ship?

lol Clarke getting dragged. but oo wait it was just a ploy and now she going princess leia on this guy. oof on her part for not making sure that this guy was actually dead

Wait so that red hair was because of blood?? That is straight up gross. ok yeah it could be argued that it was dye but seeing that how easily the dye was washed out suggests that clarke has not washed her head in days and that is gross.

nyko!! ....When you need medical help but you’re only healer so you have to seek another nation for help lmao 

Jasper and Abby?? Ship? jk that is gross

ok but why jasper is the only one actually reflecting mourning. i get that everyone mourns differently and theres no right way to mourn but come on it seems to me that everyone else is really just shoving it up their asses and compartmentalizing rather than feeling their feels

Burning up..Jonas brothers reference jk it just popped up in my head

Wait why are all the people on the ark universal donors? since when was this a thing?

Ooo you tell abby off Jackson!!! yes!!

I really dont care for this niylah character tho. but ok bellamy back add it with his 6th sense of coming right when people are in danger!!

i laughed when this guy just put a potato sack on clarkes head cuz ngl i wanna do that half the time i watch this show

look at this guy knowing his way with a sword and a bow and arrow

ok but why did these guys bring jasper back to mount weather like that obviously wasnt a good idea

Oooo he sees clarke..Make the shot bellamy make the shot. also what are the actual odds that bellamy and these people are at this field the same time as clarke and the ice guy

again i dont really care about this pov of murphy and jaha. im really just here for bellamy and monty

why did emori think that now was a good time to steal. but that choke hold tho and murphy hitting him like a pinata.  oo another neck death

John murphy is sooo pale right now he looks like he could be in twilight

this guy is right for all the medical knowledge clarke has see really doesnt seem to have anatomy down. she really missed her chance at killing this guy. like when in doubt go for the neck. also that was a weird face to make while cauterizing your flesh

“same as me” look at clarke trying to find common ground with this guy. props.

Fade to bellamy YES this is what i like to see

Snow. Kids. Death. ofc the writers made the kids die first. Why didn’t they show this?? Like a flashback?? cuz that could have been cool. but also i hate when shows are more tell than show.

but also murphy now you feel bad about killing guy?? a bit ooc

stop it emori murphy didnt save you. you saved yourself

That easy to break open a little to easy

I like how emori wiped her face but she still has a lot of blood in it

I really dont like jaha right now. especially with how his goatee is so gray but his hair does not have one speck. 

are they really making murphy and emori into Bonnie and Clyde? never did i think that murphy would end up in this situation

Bon voyage jaha. may we never meet again

Woah Oran is kinda cute without the scar

jasper destroying everything... i relate. ive always wanted to go to one of those place where you can just be destructive

Octavia and jasper ship??? like prefer it to lincoln and octavia

That was a good single tear like damn jaspers actor is a good crier

look at bellamy swagged out in ice nation clothes

i love how that one grounder looked an him was like ‘ehh i guess’ cuz Bellamy be so ethically ambiguous to everyone that he just fits int with everyone

hey this scene with bellamy, clarke, and the ice nation guy is just like disney’s rapunzel

but yeah rushing in like that without searching if anyone else was in there was stupid bellamy but thats ok I still like you

We can’t lose clarke...or you can’t lose clarke??

lexa?!

seriously who is this guy? prince zuko with all this banishment and honor talk??  And yes I use this gif at every opportunity

Ooo yess clarke spit at the salty bitch

but clarke that wasnt a very believable struggle tho. Ngl i Cringed

What tf? Where are they? toto i’ve got a feeling that we’re not in tondc anymore

[artsninspo]

PART IX - DEBTS

PART IX

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Nothing had gone as planned today, nothing at all. Jean one of liquor connects came by to talk shit, smoke and keep Tre in the loop about what would be going on within the next few weeks before he could get some from Elle. He’s showed her something no one alive knew about because Jean was a dirtbag - though they were ‘friends’ he prided himself in never giving anyone a weakness to exploit. Elle had enough shit going on in her own life - she didn’t need to be in the middle of that. At the end of his visit he smiled.

“I know you like bitches but don’t go to the museum event tonight” Jean smiled.

“Why not?” Tre had asked casually.

“Owner has a gambling debt that hasn’t been paid. It’s not going to go well - got some pictures of him doing shit married men shouldn’t do to show his bitch of a wife” he laughed before leaving. Leaving Tre with a bad taste in his mouth.

He didn’t have Elle’s number or know where she was. He knew how the casino bosses worked. They’d collect by any means necessary. It could be starting a fire and then collecting all the insurance money or ruining your place of business to force your hand out of fear. Traffic on a Friday night was working his last nerve as he flipped through the forms trying to find Elles number. He finds it sitting at a red and dials the number.

“Pick up” he shape only to hear the machine before calling again hastily.

“Fuck man pick up!” He shouts only to hear music in the background.

“Elle, Elle its Tre listen” he shouts.

“Tre?” She asks sounding tipsy.

“Elle get out of the museum now, don’t ask questions just get out and get anyone you care about out - act normal” he shouts going against all his street codes. Silence is all he hears on the other end before he hears gunshots and screams.

There’s nothing else from Elle so he cuts on the news slowing down as cops face to the scene. There are firetrucks, ambulances and the media with no sign of Elle. He tries but all the calls go to voicemail. He feels his stomach drop with worry for the first time in a long time.

Keep calm.

He reasons deciding to drive to the hospital despite it going to be crawling with cops. He sits listening to hear one person was pronounced dead at the scene and five are critical with a few with minor cuts and bruising.

His phone rings showing Elles number.

“Elle?” He questions.

“Where are you?” Her voice calls.

“Civic hospital parking lot, are you okay?”

She sniffles and theres a pause.

“I don’t see your car turn on the lights” Tre does as he’s told before he sees her coming and gets out. He goes to hug her but she stops him.

“What was that and how did you know?” She cries.

“Your uncle has a gambling debt, one of my associates told me not to go tonight. As soon as I found out I tried to warn you - but I didn’t have your number?”

Elle looks broken as she sniffles again with glossy eyes streaming tears.

“Why would Kell gamble?”

“I don’t know, I’m not in that business”

“Tre, I can’t do this.” She whispers wiping her eyes and taking a breath as the ugly cry begins. She tries to quell the emotions holding her face and trying to keep it together.

“I should be with my family Tre, the whole reason I came was to get away from shady business. Thats your world.” She shrugs getting his keys and handing them to him.

“You’re upset and tired”

“Exhausted” she corrects holding her arms. “Kell is critical so I can’t ask him if this is true”

“Why would I lie?” Tre snaps offended now.

“Calling you can fuck things up for me but I did it anyway. I know you lost Jesse and losing Kell would be too much for you. But he’s a piece of shit for doing things that can endanger his family like not paying a debt from dangerous people” Tre grits just above a whisper.

“Tre, he could die” Elle reasons only to get a shrug in response.

“You shouldn’t be here right now until things die down. Please” he reasons looking down at Elle and reaching for her chin only to have it his hand pushed away. She looks down at her phone showing a string of missed calls.

“Don’t worry about it Tre - thanks for letting me know. We’ll be fine” she sighs pulling herself together.

____

Tre couldn’t help but notice the kind of people that were in and out of Elle’s apartment. The debt had been paid and a cease fire in place. There was a lot of arguing and politicking from what Tre could hear, crying too. He’d seen Elles mother one day as he was heading out - he could just tell by how she carried herself. They shared a few similarities but not an overwhelming resemblance. Kell was pulling through from what he heard. His brows furrowed as he saw Rico, they’d done a stint on juvie together outside of Elles door.

“Black?” He questions turning to Tre. “Bro you’re fucking huge” he laughs heading over to greet Tre. He was one of the few inmates that wasn’t always angry but he had a temper like none other. His commissary was always stocked and he always got two of everything - one for him and one for black. The conditions of their probation kept them from staying in touch.

“What’s up man what are you doing here?” Tre asks looking him over.

“You stay here? You’re neighbours with my sis man” Rico smiles shocking Tre for a lot of reasons.

“Shit man, am I that much of a fucking lowlife or is she still prissy as shit?” He asks knocking on Elles door.

“Thought you had brothers”

“I do but my pops, had her and her mama kept it from him for a long time. I hear shit’s been kind of wild for her so I’m here to do my part” he says as Elle opens the door.

“Hi Rico”

“Aww hell no. Go change, I’m not going back to jail today” He groans seeing Elle and folding his arms in annoyance right away.

“Rico!” She stomps sounding like a kid.

“Rico nothing! I don’t wanna hear it, nothing sexy or tight - shit!” He snaps making Tre laugh a bit. That was all ever did. Sexy all day everyday.

“You can come in while I change”

“It’s alright catching up with my patna”  he reasons making Elle peek outside.

“Huh?” She asks. “How do you two know each other”

“Prison” Rico says frankly making Elle laugh.

“I'll just be five minutes” she says getting on an oversized shits and a pair of boyfriend jeans with sneakers.

“Good?” She asks locking up and heading back to the hall but Tre and her brother are outside.

“Much better” Rico comments.

“Meh” Elle comments not feeling the outfit change.

Rico had told Tre the truth. Elle’s grandma called him hoping for anyone to check up on her and make things better. She thought someone from her other side of the family could be a nice break from all their family drama. In Rico’s word’s Elles grandma was the only family member who didn’t stick her nose up at them and Elle never really got the change to be a little sister from her maternal brothers.

…

Tre just got in as Rico was heading out.

“Be easy man if you need anything you have my number and if anything happens with her call me ASAP” Rico smiles.

“For sure” Tre agrees.

“Between you and me that gambling shit is ain’t right. They’re good for the money - cheater maybe but gambler? That nigga is a whole square” Rico says shaking his head.

“I’ll keep my ears down for more information” Tre nods giving Rico a handshake before he leaves.

Then the rain started all over again. Tre had always prided himself in being a stand up guy, giving women their choice and not being pushy but it was like everyone but him got to check up on her. Everyone who wasn’t there when she was trying to drink herself into a coma. Pride aside the thunder was his perfect opportunity. He knocks on her door and finds her wide awake.

“Tre”

“Come on” he takes her hand ignoring her protest and heading into his apartment once she’s locked up.

“Rico says you’re good people” Elle comments.

“Good people don’t have trap doors or know when somewhere is going to get shot up”  Elle continues once he’s locked up.

“Thought we established I’m and asshole?” he asks leading her up to the penthouse.

“My Grandad built this place, his mistress my granny lived in the apartment that neighbours you - family lived up here” he explains.

“Sorry” Elle whispers.

“Its convenient”

“So how’d you end up in juvie, how’d your mom end up with an addiction?” Elle asked plain looking around the much nicer furnished large apartment.

“Her dad died with her mom in a car accident she started dating losers who wanted her for the money left behind. I went to juvie for sealing and fighting. When my grandfathers wife found out about me she took me in. I gave her hell but she didn’t mind - left this to me when she died a few years ago” he explains.

“She sounds like a class act.”

“Only woman I’ve ever admired” he nods sitting down honestly. The silence is heavy as they sit facing each other. “You know I care about you right?” He asks and Elle sighs.

“Yeah, don’t know why but I know you do. I was a bitch-“

“Don’t apologize” he cuts her off.

Reaching for her only for her to reject the affection again.

“Nothing lasts forever Tre, I’d like to keep the things I can lose at a minimum” she sighs truthfully. He takes her chin this time holding on and her hands go to his arms to stop him from kissing her.

“Don’t worry your pretty head about me, I’ll always be good and so will you - even when we can’t stand each other” he reasons looking into her brown eyes before letting go. He heads outside sparking a blunt to clear his head and think. There was too much he didn’t know, too many players, factors hidden motives. A hit like the one on Kell wouldn’t be good for anyone, especially the neighbourhood.

He turns hearing the door open and Elle walk out tying her robe closed to weather the breeze.

“You smoke?”

“Sometimes, to clear my head” Elle nods sitting on his lap and taking a pull.

“Tre, I think after tonight we should stay away from each other. We both have a lot going on. It’s pretty clear you can take care of yourself but I have a lot of family bullshit going on”

“So its the worst time for you to be alone, trust me I know. I won’t force you to do anything but keep good people around. Your brothers solid” he swallows attentive to her response.

“He is, hard to imagine you’re his cellie” Elle winks playfully resting her head on his shoulder and watching the rain.

“Just now I’m here too if you need me. I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but be careful around Kizzy alright and don’t tell her anything about me. She was the only one not in the building when they started shooting. She gave me the invitation - hates my ass and I know some people that say she hangs out with a mid level guy on the other side of town” Tre explains making Elle sit upright as she processes his words.

____

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