#its also worth mentioning that i have never had the opportunity to speak to a thai person about this

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

Which joestar do you think would be the worst yandere? And why

Pick your poison! I like to think the Joestar’s all have their little traits that shine the most based on their personality (so whose the worst can depend on what you’re uncomfortable with). Going to do just the og verse jojo’s for this 1-6.

Jonathan : Very sweet almost intoxicatingly so, but he tends to end up a bit overprotective/just a bit babying. Insisting he does things for you, if you have some issue somewhere else? Why not let him resolve it. Don’t fret over too much he has the means to take care of you. There might be a time or two your room might be locked if you’re a little more stubborn than usual

Joseph: What is this thing called “personal space” ? It almost sounds like a foreign language to this man. He totally didn’t mess certain things up so you happen to meet up with him. Not sure why your date stood you up? He couldn’t possibly give an answer other than they’re not worth your time since they didn’t bother showing up. He should take you to this great place he loves going to after a long day.

Jotaro: Stalking type usually, and mows past anything that he might feel gets in the way of you and himself. He’s used to punks, so he’s not afraid to pummel someone if they don’t get the message to scram. When it comes to classes, he’s glancing at you every so often, maybe there’s a “doodle” or two in his notebook. Need to walk somewhere? He’ll walk with you. If you’re hiding out to be alone, he ends up finding you. You’re probably the reason he learns any building’s layout in the first place. Clubs or class cleaning doesn’t stop Jotaro either, he’ll wait as long as it takes. Being sick at home doesn’t stop him either, usually there’s some kind of hot soup/dish that’s good to eat while sick sitting in your room somehow. (Not to mention potential kidnapping later down the line if you’re not really cooperating)

Later Parts like 4 and 6, he’s pretty similar in dropping you off things even if you never once told him your address. (He has a decent memory of these things). Similarly Jotaro has any phone numbers you have in his contacts, and he’ll have a talk personally with anyone that he isn’t fond of approaching you. He tends to have you in the back of his mind while out on his studies, or writing a paper, and yet again drawings somewhere he’s compelled to place them. Every so often he checks in on you (whether you want this or not doesn’t matter). Broken down car? It’s either replaced swiftly or he’s driving you places himself. Maybe he somehow (forces) nudges you to live with him.

Josuke : He’s head over heels for you, and similar to Joseph he’s going to take any opportunity to squeeze himself into your life. He just so happens to have some leftover lunch from that place you like? You looked sad when they had sold out of your favorite meal there, so why doesn’t he help with that? Speaking of, maybe your eyes are drifting somewhere else. He steals any potential love letters to a crush and rewrites them, making it look like you’re confessing to him. He may also leave one of your favorite treats you like in its place. It’s an enigma to you how he found that out.

Giorno : He’s the don of the Italian mafia, he’s almost constantly worried about you. So if he has eyes on you, it’s almost immediate you lose autonomy whether born in Italy or a tourist. He’s clever in his ways to trap you, whether you’re resistant or not doesn’t matter. (he does think you’re cute with a strong head on your shoulders). There’s some of that charisma he possess all the same just like his father. Even if it doesn’t work on you, it makes others around you to trap you easily. Giorno likes to think he gives you a lot of leeway with voluntarily coming to him. He’ll meet you casually in coffee shops or wherever you’re willing to shop at. The bill is covered without you having to say a word. Any cash you used is miraculously brought back to you somehow. The blond isn’t afraid to get his hands a little dirty however when it comes to you. If he has to take something for you to step into his arms (whether it’s your ability to walk around outside or someone close to you) he’ll do whatever it takes.

Jolyne : Sure she stalks somewhat, but like her father she can be bold in taking care of the competition. She’s not afraid to hold your hand or finding a way for you two to do so. Eavesdropping is something she does occasionally, and anyone that wants to stomp on your heart is going to get stomped themselves. She does delay you with stone free (or outright captures you) if Jolyne doesn’t want you to leave. It’s impossible to shake her off, no matter what you try to do. Of course she made a copy of your apartment key, what if there’s an emergency? Maybe she wanted to make you breakfast. Huh? What do you mean she can’t just walk in unannounced? Don’t be ridiculous.

[crystalandrose]

So my idea for my version of evil ford is that his timeline splits at the science fair incident. This ford was paranoid enough to know stanley would somehow fuck up his chance, so he fixes the machine and takes the toffee peanut bag as evidence (maybe he also pulls security footage). So ford makes it into his college and stan gets punished (but not kicked out). Stanley runs away of his own volition due to the anger at ford leaving him behind and also ratting him out to their parents. Stan partly wants to prove hes just as good as his brother and also wants to prove it to himself.

This means Ford never met Fiddleford in college. Instead, after getting a lot more grant money than from Backupsmore, he goes to Gravity Falls and works alone. Eventually, after he makes the deal with bill, he realizes he doesnt have enough experience making computer things (sourcing parts and such) to do this alone (even if bill is helping him). So he puts an ad for a research assistant good with computers. Perhaps some of this extra grant money went towards pay, and Fiddleford took the opportunity. But having no real connection to Fiddleford, Ford is more up to use him as a tool to get what he wants. So when Bill says his use is up and its time to get rid of him, Ford obliges.

Maybe since he went to this fancy college he had an easier time making connections or doing schooling quicker. So this extra time means he spends more time in partnership with bill and the connections make it easier for him to make side money he can also funnel into the portal project.

This Ford also learns more about Bill's backstory because he connects more to Bill (disconnect from family, not feeling recognized, wanting a home with people that get him/etc). So this guy is more sympathetic and knows more about Bill's desires (create a nightmare realm). Maybe Ford rationalizes it as a good thing or thinks he can talk Bill out of some destruction, or maybe at this point he wants some revenge on the world himself. So hes still on board with the portal when Bill reveals its actual purpose.

However, maybe Stanley needs another place to sleep on the couch at and sees his brother in some headline or mentioned as an inventor for some product. Or his brother needs a test dummy that can speak for the portal so he calls him. Or maybe Ford wants to potentially say his last goodbyes before he goes into what he knows is potentially the end of earth.

Fight still happens, Ford wants Stanley to thank him for money hes sent the family, for not completely ostracizing him from the family after what he did, offering him a place to stay, idk. Ford fights him, Bill possesses Ford at some point as another try to prevent Ford from getting sucked into the portal. This freaks Stan out and he pushes him. Ford, holding journal 3 (which does not have pages ripped out), chucks it at stans head (not to help him but to literally hurt him). Stan is like "wtf did i just do" and shuts the portal down, reads through the journals and thinks Ford is unwillingly possessed by a demon and spends his days trying to get him back.

Ford and Bill are now stuck in the portal, going through dimensions trying to get back to Earth in order to reopen the portal and finish what they started. I think Stan is fully anti-cipher-ified, planning on killing bill as soon as he shows up again in order to save his brother. Im thinking this Dipper and Mabel got killed by zombies or something. So when Ford does get back, stan is there super unhinged and angry and somehow eventually kills bill, leaving no statue behind. Evil ford is like "wtf" and devastated, but keeps looking for a way to bring him back. Maybe this Bill, having not gained sympathy from the axolotl, decides hes not worth rehabilitation and so hes actually dead in this reality.

(Then "canon" bill opens up a reality rift and evil ford comes through, hoorah)

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: FINAL ROUND

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

Yuzu Hiragi

The entire show would not work if the cast wasn't obsessed with her, and they're all right to stan her, literally gets Sora and Serena to defect from Academia with her sheer charisma, beat Masumi at their gay little rivalry, Yugo spends a few days with her and is ready to die for her, Yuya is simply just the loudest about adoring her And why not? She is so clever and determined, doing the most work out of anyone to figure out the myth plot. Actively trains to keep up with the rest of cast. Even when the universe is conspiring against her and trying to keep her down, she fucking headbutts Roger and tells him off or manifests to help save the world in the ultimate girlboss team-up that was the Arc V finale. Truly any dimension without her is worth upending.

The mysterious magical bracelet that isekai's her to different worlds, the Can-Do attitude, the cool poses (fusion summoning), the ADORABLE character design, AND she was 1/4 of a world-saving hero in the past?? If it weren't for the meddling writers, she would have been the main character

yuzu is everything. literally the plot of arc v hinges on the fact everyone who meets her become just as obsessed with her. and they are totally right to do so

[theerurishipper]

For me, the most hilarious thing that broke Ladynoir's neck will forever be that Marinette in Kuro Neko never even realized that Shadowmoth presumably having akumatized Chat Noir as a civilian is a BAD THING for more reasons than mostly her having been a bad guardian.

That was for real at the core of her breakdown in that episode, you can re-watch it, its right there, and what Adrien had to accept and sympathize with.

That is hilariously pathetic bc that girl never even realized that if it truly had been civilian Chat Noir who had been akumatized, then merely deakumatizing him wouldn't have been enough by a LONG SHOT bc ShadowMoth fucking FOUND HIM.

Chat and his loved ones would from then on never be safe again in Paris until ShadowMoth is defeated, but Marinette at no point in the episode or even by the end of season 5 ever realizes that.

Straight up canonly speaking, In the scenario of Chat Noir being found by ShadowMoth as a civilian, the biggest victim in Marinette’s eyes was herself and her poor guardianship. That is hilariously depressing.

That boy has barely any worth in her eyes, it's questionable if she even noticed for how long he stopped showing up in the beginning of the episode. If the father son Story had dared to happen like in Ephemeral before and Adrien had been caught behind her back and now was in desperate need of her PLEASE realizing that Chat isn't showing up anymore, man, if Gabriel had been using the opportunity to try and manipulate Adrien into thinking Ladybug doesn't care for him Gabriel would have straight up succeeded here.

But sure, Ladynette is bestest gurl, leader and partner in all of fiction lol

Not to mention, Marinette just dead ass let CatWalker be the deciding voice of the Ladynoir conflict, despite him from her perspective having no right to claim he has any strong opinion on this at all.

À random prince charming showed up for 10 minutes, told her she's the most amazing and blameless person who ever walked upon earth and that Chat's an ungrateful count with no rights so HE - CatWalker - will now dedicate himself to be her magical perfect care taker 'as she deserves'

And gurl just went "well damn, you are right! Chat IS a cunt, I AM blameless and deserves a perfect therapy prince!" and just called it a day and never learned from this.

From Marinette's perspective CatWalker should have been the most blatantly obvious manipulator ever since she has no idea if Plagg actually made it safely to Fu's "second black cat" and she should have punched him in the face for how bluntly he shit talked Chat Noir and tried making her fall for and trust him - CatWalker.

But nah. shit-talking Chat and stroking her ego were when Marinette genuinely fell in love with him for good and only send him away when having CatWalker around wasn't practical for her hero performance (which was then ALSO indirectly blamed on Chat Noir in the end lol

Nice, good to know that Marinette's dream love interest and partner being a magical desperate care taker of perfection who would rather rip himself apart than ask a single thing of her, and that alarming romantic type of hers having made her incapable of paying attention to the fight was CHAT NOIR'S fault, or how else could she be a flawless queen?

That episode is AWFUL lol

And she never even learned anything at any point. She still considered Monarch finding out Chat's identity irrelevant in Elation bc one "No" in over 4 seasons was enough for her to almost agree turning into his enemy and give Monarch Chat's identity herself so she can know what name his lips are attached to. An akumatization CHAT had to prevent by kissing her despite not wanting it.

Amazing, what a role model for girls.

And at the end of season 5 Chat Noir still was the human sacrifice because Adrien knew he has no right to ask for help from Ladybug bc she's all that matters, but at least he could tell Plagg that Ladybug will "forgive him" and he'll be Chat Noir again.

Magnificent. Feminism truly peaked with Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

What value does she see in him again beyond her comfort and endless moral free passes and rewards for barely giving a damn? Because I truly can't figure out what Marinette's oh so pure love for her Kitty is actually supposed to be. The more I look into it, the more superficial Marinette's side of Ladynoir and Marichat becomes.

Writers really dropped the ball on the one thing their show was hinging on huh.

Thank you for your ask!

[moondust-writes]

『It's Cold Outside』 desc; having a break from classwork is a rare but wonderful opportunity, though maybe you should have worn something a little bit warmer when heading to glasedeo... a/n; no but why do the uniforms not have any proper protection from the cold if they're going to have students wander up glasedeo when it comes to the gym circuit???? no wonder geeta doesn't get many travelers. i like the cold but traveling in snow without proper snow attire??? just something i am pointing out - also first pokemon insert so all i ask is to not be too harsh with any critiques <3

You rubbed your hands together for what seemed like the thousandth time as you trudged through the snow, blowing on them every now and again to try and keep them from turning blue with the continuously dropping temperatures. Sure, there was a winter uniform that the academy provided its students...but in areas like Glasedeo...well, it didn't provide much protection from the wind and falling snow.

Now that you thought about it...that's probably why you never encountered many trainers on your way to the gyms when you were doing the gym circuit - and was probably a factor for why Nemona and you were one of the few Champion Ranked students rather than La Primera's strength alone. Maybe it would be worth mentioning it to the Director? Changing the entire uniform could be tedious, but even just making the dress code more lenient for the colder months would be a good idea-

Lost in the train of thought, you hadn't noticed the way the snow seemed to flatten, to hold a shine to it as you climbed up hill to your destination. Even though the pokemon traveling with you a few feet away gave a short cry of warning as they galloped toward you, it was a few seconds too late.

"Wh-AH-" You turned your head to look at your partner with confusion, right as your foot struck the ice they were attempting to warn you about just a few moments prior. Slipping, you were lucky to avoid landing face first, hands instinctively stopping your fall in the snow. With a low groan of annoyance and frustration, you pushed up onto your knees, brushing your palms to get rid of the sting from both the impact and biting freeze when you felt a weight drop around the back of your neck and a gloved hand was held out in front of you.

Trailing your gaze up, you found blue eyes staring back at you with the slightest hint of concern shining through the expressionless face the trainer held. "You going to keep staring, or are you going to get up?" Face flushing with heat rather than the cold for the first time that day, you offered a sheepish smile before taking his hand and allowing him to help you onto your feet.

Looking down at your uniform as you cleared the snow from your clothing, you noticed the heavy fabric of the gym leader's scarf dangling over your shoulders- though you didn't have time to question it before Grusha turned to walk away with a motion to follow.

"You should be more careful. There's more ice around Glasedeo this time of year, and with more blizzards, things are more dangerous. Especially without proper clothes." Hurrying to catch up with him, you wrapped the scarf around you properly, pulling the material over your face and melting into the warmth as you tucked your hands under your arms. "Yeah, I know. Was just in thought," you started, smiling as your pokemon pranced up beside you and your new companion, not wanting to stray too far after the previous accident.

"Ironically, it about uniforms and the weather." You finished the thought a moment later after receiving a look of curiosity from Grusha, finding a small sense of pride rise within you as he seemed to chuckle in amusement at the information. "What are you doing up here anyway? It's colder than usual."

"Had free time, decided to travel." You spoke nonchalantly, shrugging afterwards as the two of you approached the gym-site. Rolling his eyes, he only shook his head before speaking again whilst he led you inside. "Of course- come on, get warmed up."

[shwoo]

Here are my headcanons for the Bugsnax cast's academic qualifications!

I want to be extremely clear that I'm treating this as purely character history stuff, not some kind of measure of worth or intelligence. I know some people treat academic qualifications that way, but that's stupid and I hate it. This stuff is based more on opportunity and interest. And what would have to be true for the characters to be in the positions they're in in the game.

I'm using US definitions, and not going into vocational stuff, which is why I keep saying academic. Vocational is kind of its own tier of things that's hard to throw into a table with the academic stuff. Also, vocational qualifications in the US don't seem to be standardised, so it's hard to compare them to each other. Chandlo is totally a licensed carpenter, though.

Rambly elaborations! (How tired was I when I originally wrote these wow)

I swear Gramble's presence in the some high school section isn't about his comedy (?) Appalachian accent. It's because he didn't have parents, so he had to prioritise food and shelter over finishing his schoolwork. If he "wound up raising himself", like the instruction booklet says, he wouldn't have got a lot of support academically. Also, I headcanon that he has ADHD (among other characters), so throw that one on the pile too. But he will probably get a GED once he gets around to it. That stands for Grumpus Education Diploma.

Lizbert dropping out of high school (for a life of adventure) is from the Reddit AMA, and also I like it. She seems big into forging her own path. Also, if her comedy Australian accent is meant to imply that she's Grumpus Australian, it's way less stigmatised in Australia to not finish year 12 than it seems to be in the US. Not saying it's not stigmatised at all, but it seems like leaving school early isn't even treated as a viable option in the US? That's why I was so defensive about Gramble just now.

More down here --v

Wambus wanted to work at the family farm as a career, and was already getting training on that, so he didn't see the point of doing further education. Also, he's from a culture that doesn't really see college as the default path after high school. I think that's one of the things the instruction booklet was implying with the line about how he's "the type who's spent his whole life within a mile of where he was born."

Cromdo went to college to study business administration, but had to drop out due to various family emergencies, and could never afford to go back. That seems like about his luck. I blame Grumpus Reagan (I hope there's no Grumpus Reagan).

Speaking of college being the default after high school, Filbo went to college because that's what you do, but couldn't keep up, and dropped out and returned home within a year. I hope he at least went to some good parties in that time. …Wait, isn't he childhood friends with Lizbert? Is he Grumpus Australian?

I'm not a hundred percent sure what a liberal arts degree is, but I bet Beffica has one. Maybe she majored in photography. Or sociology. I'm going to say sociology.

I headcanon that Chandlo and Snorpy went to the same college for undergrad, and were roommates the whole time. Platonic roommates, because they were still in the "if only you could just date your best friend wouldn't that be simpler hahaha" stage. Chandlo's degree is in kinesiology, probably.

Clumby has a diploma in her office from the School of Journalism at New Grump City College, which you can see at the start of the game. But it doesn't mention what qualification she graduated with. It could be a Bachelor's or Master's, but the advanced degree section has a strict one Snakolyte limit, and Jamfoot was funnier. Actually, it seemed excessive to give an advanced degree to six out of sixteen characters.

Wiggle probably went to one of those performing arts high schools I keep hearing about. And then to one of those performing arts colleges. She had a hard time deciding between dance and music, but ended up settling on music because she thought she'd reach a bigger audience that way. You can't do fashion design at those types of schools, I don't think, or that would've come third.

You tend to need a degree in journalism before you can find work in it, so I think the Journalist probably got one. They did a year of art school first, but concluded that drawing was something they'd be happier doing as a hobby than for a living. So they switched to their other passion. That's my headcanon for why the quest art is so good, if they're supposed to be the one who drew it in-universe.

Jamfoot canonically has a degree in library science, but he doesn't say what kind. In the US, most degrees in library science are Master's, so he might not have needed to specify. And a Master's in Library Science is extremely a part-time barista qualification. Because it's hard to get a job in the actual field. As mentioned in his interview.

Eggabell has the most specific canon qualifications in the game. She has an MD, with a specialisation in endocrinology. Did you know that Doctor of Medicine is a graduate degree in the US, not a research degree? I didn't, until I was researching this chart a while back when I had insomnia. I was wondering why all these American doctors also had PhDs. I may not be the quickest on the uptake.

I went back and forth on whether Floofty would have a Master's or a PhD, but I think if they could refer to themself a doctor, they definitely would, as often as possible. Maybe they couldn't get into a program after all that slander they mentioned. Or they were in one but got kicked out. Or they're just still working on it. Anyway, I think they have a Master's in molecular biology.

Shelda has an advanced degree here partly because I think it would really annoy Floofty, but also, it seems like something she'd be interested in persuing. Like, a Master's in herbal science or something. I don't know if it would licence her to practice medicine, though, if she wanted to expand the range of herb-related stuff she had access to. Maybe a Doctor of Naturopathy instead? Naturopaths actually can be licensed as physicians in about half the US, and the stuff Shelda talks about is so broad that it wasn't clear she was supposed to be a herbalist specifically until the DLC.

Snorpy has a Master's in mechanical engineering from GIT. That's what I think. (Guess what the G stands for). He made something very impressive for his thesis, but I don't know if it should be related to prosthetics or not.

The instruction booklet mentions that Triffany has a doctorate from NGU (didn't make that one up!), presumably in archaeology. There's also some evidence for this in the game. She describes herself as a leader in her field, something that's difficult to be in an academic field without a PhD, and Floofty addresses her as Professor a couple of times. I know that the word professor can also refer to anyone who's teaching at a tertiary level in American English, but she's not teaching anything at the moment. She's doing field research into her dead grandma on murder parasite island. So I think they do mean she has a professorship at a university. That's something that almost always requires a PhD or equivalent.

[easierreadthandone4711]

Good News.

The good news is - I'm still here.

A lot has happened since my last post. It was a season of loss and in many ways I am still grieving it all. It was really beginning to feel like everything was burning to the ground and I am grateful that even through ashes there is growth to be had.

I visited my family back home for a bit and being near my mother gave me the opportunity to finally feel the loss of my cousin. It was nice to be around somebody who knew how close we were and how much he meant to me. I realized that was necessary for my healing to begin.

When I would tell people that I lost my cousin, I was met with others perspectives on the term 'cousin'. I've always been aware that people have different family dynamics, some close, some estranged, and some HATE their own family members. This was not brought o my attention because I was unaware but because the way people responded to my pain with their own personal takes on the matter.

"Oh I'm sorry - I don't even talk to my cousin(s)." Usually followed up with why they don't like them or would let me into some family tea that had taken place which eventually led to little to no contact with their cousins.

Turns out, speaking to people who couldn't relate, was not helpful to my grieving process. It made me sad to hear about it but also made me so grateful that I had someone like him in my life.

He was someone who was kind to me, and as simple as that sounds - you know its hard to come by. He stood up for me when the older kids were picking on me - even when he was an older kid too. I remember thinking how brave he was to stand up to the kids his age and be kind to me anyways. In fact, his older brother was the same way. These two had the biggest hearts and within my family, I would say that can be difficult as we all had to build some tough shells to protect ourselves with. Yes, I used the word had, we had just recently lost his big brother too.

Their mother was military so I rarely got to see them but they would write to me from wherever they were and that made me feel so special growing up. How can these people, exploring the world, even think twice about me, let alone take the time to sit down and write to me? How loved I must be. On occasion, they would get to come home for holidays and it never felt like anything less than love around them. As a fly on the wall, you would've never guess how long it had been since the last time we'd seen each other.

Such a long winded way to say - when I was finally near someone who understood the pain I was feeling, it felt like I was finally feeling it for the first time. He really is gone.

There's a void now - and all I can do is fill it with memories and gratitude for having him at all. After all, not everyone was lucky enough to have him as a cousin.

-------

I had another goodbye looming over me.

The break up I went through wasn't some exploding toxic ordeal. It wasn't like any break up I've been through before. There was still a tremendous amount of love that existed within it. I really had to look within myself and outside of myself. I needed to refocus the big picture, looking at us as selflessly as I possibly could.

I mentioned before a lie that occurred. The context is so irrelevant when it comes down to what the damage actually came down to. First, we look inward. Using phrases like "triggered" or "trust issues" has gained such an insincere reputation as its become an overly used excuse for people who don't actually intend on putting effort into healing themselves. I'm here though and I'm trying.

I'm not going to deep dive into my adolescence but I'll sum it all up to say I did not feel emotionally safe as a child or that I could rely on those that children so deeply need to be ABLE to rely on. There's trust and security that those have to be able to provide in order for a child to walk with a sense of self worth and confidence.

How lucky I would be to find someone who saw me. They didn't see see me - they heard me. Whether I was recanting my day or a childhood story, there was never a need to explain my actions or feelings. They understood, they empathized, and even more so, they loved me regardless. They thought I was a pretty cool hooman and for once, I didn't feel like a burden. I felt wanted, like they truly wanted me to be a part of their life. I started to love myself. Like maybe, I'm not so worthless after all.

Of course, being the hoomans we are and the need for balance in the universe, some bad times had to come around too.

The feeling of being a burden crept back in and I felt like what I had added to their life was nothing good.

My intentions were pure. I was also trying to protect myself after a couple of familiar red flags had shown their faces.

*side note*

pausing that thought here because this person is not a bad person. the term 'red flag' has come to imply some toxicity in a person but realistically, we all have some unappealing traits and you find someone who "icks" work with yours. silly example: chews with mouth open. (reminder, its an example) your ex chewed with their mouth open and cheated on you and chaos heartbreak blah blah blah. fast forward, new boo is amazing and you notice they chew with their mouth open as well. does it mean they will cheat too? no. just an icky behavior that you're not a fan of and last you encountered this behavior, it escalated to something worse. so you take a lil inventory.. okay all is great but I'm not ignoring the behavior. taking note of it if you will. Stay with me you guys. It was a silly example but all I am trying to say is that they were not doing horrible things, red flag should've ran away type of things. Their behaviors were triggering things from my past.

So! I went from feeling secure, loved and worthy to unsure, hopeful and unworthy. Within my own spiraling, I could only make sense of these things happening because obviously I don't matter. People don't hurt people they care about.

Guess who's been on her healing path for years? This girl. Thought stopping is the game and your girl is mediocre.

Healing climb from said spiral: Nobody is perfect and I can recognize that their intentions were not of those from my past. In fact, there is no doubt in my mind that they love me. Truly and deeply. This I know.

Fast forward to the lie, its discovery and how the thought gained volume and harshness.

Still, I know they love me.

Except now, I'm scared, I don't feel safe, and more importantly - where's our growth. We are declining and doing so fast. I started to look at their daily schedule and challenges, I looked at mine - we were sitting in it. We were sitting in this hole hoping to get the other one out and with each effort we ended up deeper inside.

My love tank was officially empty and I was growing so resentful. Resentful towards them but mostly myself. Why aren't I strong enough to be there the way they need me? Why can't I shut my brain up? Why can't I just be enough? Looking inward - complete. I have so much more healing to do, more than I thought and I don't want to hurt them in the process.

Then - outward. Those goals we both have. The idea is there and yet the footwork is lacking. The footwork wasn't happening but not because of laziness or unawareness. It wasn't happening because emotionally we are both so damn tapped out and both have some healing and growing to do, for our own separate reasons...and as much as I wish we could have done this together, we were only hurting each other more.

They might actually disagree with me but I know my anger and triggers that I was dealing with were coming out on them and I couldn't live with that guilt. I need to get my shit straight in I expect to have a fighting chance at love.

Its a weird breakup when there is still so much love involved.

It was becoming a risk of losing them fully and at very least, I’m certain the universe didn’t place them in my life for nothing. I had to step back. For me, for them and for any chance at holding onto what I know is certain, the love.

Maintaining a friendship has been far from easy. Not really sure how to go about it but all I can do is try and hope I made the right decision. They seem to be doing well and that’s all the confirmation I need.

Through this I was able to make a few new friends in unexpected places. They’ve shown me kindness and have been encouraging while I find my way again.

Some have helped me in my journey to connect with my roots and culture. It’s been soul awakening and I’m grateful for everything that has brought me to this place. I have end of year goals I would like to reach and that’s my main focus. Looking towards the universe and my ancestors for guidance. Looking towards my inner circle for patience and love.

Looking inward and outward with gratitude.

Sorry for the novel - it’s been an emotional roller coaster.

[asoulofatlantis]

We should really have gotten Alisa and Elie giving “the glare” to Lloyd and Rean at the same time. It is such a damn missed opportunity for a good laugh and to make those two quirm XD

(In case you think I’ve kind of gone astray from the original intend of this re-play, I did not! I just decided that I do not always have to mention why something I mention makes the game worth replaying or not replaying. In this case, its noticing the missed out potential the friendship between Elie and Alisa has. But I believe you can get that yourself.)

Crow being forced on you in a chapter about rescuing Towa. Always nice. (Towa IS part of Rean harem and it is hinted multiple times in CS4 that Crows relationship with Vita was deeper than expected. HOWEVER you can not help but notice the game also making sure you see the strong bond between Towa and Crow. And sure enough, in Kuro 2, when Towa joins us in Calvard, Crow is not very far away...)

I do wonder if the other girls (if you take them along, since Alisa is one of the optional characters) have the same reaction than Alisa, especially given how she is more the jealous type then most of the other girls.

You would be surprised how often those two manage a Link-Attack. This is all fun and games while we get this link event, but it gets frustrating really quickly after the breakup when we get the akward-one and those two still keep getting Link-Attacks like crazy XD Shipping-Pain is hard and real I tell you ^^’

This one is awkward too, but on a very weird level XD

Awwwww.

Honestly? This explanation likely came because some people were wondering how the Ironbloods could best the SSS, Yin and Arios despite their combined strength and so Falcom had to come up with a convenient explanation á la the usual “the curse did it!”. BUT I NEVER questioned how the Ironblood managed to make operation Birdcage work to begin with. We know that Claire and Lechter are gifted (plus Lechter does know all the people in question to some extent and was surely able to predict most of their movements in advents. Rufus too, is as we all know, a genius when it comes to plotting evil schemes.  I was pretty sure they lured the SSS and Friends into Michelam via a dirty trick and then managed to hold them there with yet another dirty trick. Something as easy as threatening the safety of people they care about or the like of dirty tricks like that. So I don’t know if I like that they brought up that explanation or felt the need to explain it at all. It makes the ironbloods look cheap in comparison to the Crossbell-Heroes and given how we are still struggling with just one of those ironbloods despite the fact that we have far higher numbers AND special powers in our team (two Awakeners, Reans Ogre-Powers to boost, a Witch and a freaking Dominion...) it makes us look even cheaper. The SSS (Yin and Arios aside) barely started out half a year before class7 and they have been on the run for around two years now and you are telling me, they are still stronger than Rean?

Rean is by far Claires biggest weakness, meaning those words did hurt her A LOT. But it makes you wonder how she could even as much as think as she could get away with her suicidal thoughts when he stood right in front of her. She should know him better then that and she should also have known that she would falter if he stands Infront of her.

Claire is very hated in the western part of the fandom. I always liked her though. I know how hard it is to put up a front, when you are breaking inside and most of the Cold Steel Saga, this was what Claire had to do. And the fact that she got through it and managed to do what she could for Rean, even when she wasn’t supposed to, only speaks for her being yet another strong female character.

YOU and YOU alone made that promise, hunny. And YOU and YOU alone were responsible for its failure because IT WAS CLEAR AS DAY THAT THIS WAS A PROMISE YOU IDIOT WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO KEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE! Seriosuly! Even if Crow had no died, even if he would have been pardoned for trying to kill Osborne because he did what he could to save Cedric and despite his active role working with the noble alliance, its not like he could have walked out of the infernal castle free as a bee. He would have been taken captive and questioned and it would have taken weeks for him to get out of this mess and he would have hardly made it to graduation AND to top that off, he was still an enemy of Osborne, did you really think Rean, your father would let him run around freely, ready to try to kill him yet again? I doubt, even for an immortal, it was fun getting a shot through the chest.

I guess its time for the breakup... but I am not feeling it today so... lets do it tomorrow XD

[sanini-panini]

OKAY LAST ONE I THINK but. friends off tumblr threw questions at me from this oc ask game and i'm cross posting here for funsies (part 5). this one is also for all nineteen guys, but it's a lot easier because i have a chart of these since it's relevant to the soul hunt arc of karai's chosen.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

THE ENNEAD

jinal - i talked about this already here! the tldr is "you're keeping the others here, condemning them to hell along with you."

haku - "you're just like the necromancer." when the necromancer told haku about his plan to reset the universe, haku immediately rejected it--but a small part of them understood the reasoning. they hate that part of them with a passion. now luckily, peter says this exact thing to haku in canon, as ill-advised as this sounds. peter actually beautifully dissects haku's thought process, so i'll let him do the talking:

“Ten years ago, you violated your own rules, though, didn’t you?” Peter said slyly, circling the soul splinter like a snake surrounding its prey. “You sacrificed ten innocent mortal lives to save your family from prison. You changed your definition of an acceptable sacrifice, and that still scares you, because now that the line has been crossed, you’re afraid you’ll keep going in that direction until you become exactly the villain you’re fighting against. After all, that’s exactly how The Necromancer was born.”

minerva - "you are a self-centered leech." which is basically what jinal said to her right before killing her for the first time.

ven - "you have not lived up to the opportunities they gave you." related, of course, to the fact that ven was raised by minerva, jinal, and kai, and she cannot help but feel like she has let them down. (she has not) (she really has not)

kai - generally speaking, the ticket here is the insult mateen used to break kai right before killing him: "promises are cheap, kai, especially coming from you." currently in canon, however, you could probably say something like "jinal and ven are dying slowly and you're doing nothing to save them" and that would work just fine!

mateen - "after all these years, you haven't learned a thing. you still become a monster at the slightest hint of danger to the people you care about." if you want bonus points, you could mention skye.

ridwan - "the people you hold dear are precious gems, better than you'll ever be, and your presence only detracts from their worth." speaking, of course, about felix, jinal, and silpa.

silpa - "you've worked so hard to prevent something horrible from happening, and it's not enough. it will never be enough. it's all pointless in the end." no one had to tell silpa this directly. by the end of the fifty year imprisonment, she already knew it to be true.

felix - "you're dragging them down with your incompetence." the day felix learned that mateen was only doing yaran's bidding to keep felix safe was the day felix picked up this insecurity. it's never left him.

THE NEW GUARD

ilia - "you're just like the Ennead." the Ennead screwed over every main character in the cast by saddling them with illegal powers against their will and ilia doesn't really want to be like that. she doesn't want to be a god--but auster forces her to reconsider.

morgan - "you'll never make anything of yourself. you're trapped, and you'll never escape your father's grasp." she already thinks this on her own, but killing that last little bit of hope in her would crush her.

peter - talked about this here! the tldr is "your death will achieve little, and those left behind will mourn."

juli - "you're a weakling, and if you can't let go of your silly little fears, you'll die in the dirt, forgotten and unloved." i haven't touched on this a whole lot, but juli is afraid of dying... and they think this is a bad thing, bc when you're a footsoldier, it kind of is a bad thing.

lian - ooookay not to be on the nose about this but i think the answer to this is identical to their patron's. oops. "you have not lived up to the opportunities they gave you," in reference to the parents who adopted them out to keep them safe.

joshua - "you're a monster, joshua tenine." next question.

rae - "they should've survived instead of you." referencing the fact that rae and his parents all drowned in the same car, but rae survived because he was chosen by a god, so to speak. haku kept rae alive until help arrived, and rae constantly questions why it was him.

karyme - "you were gifted powers, and yet you haven't lived up to them. you are still useless to those around you." this is probably a normal insecurity to have when you are the only person on the team who both cannot use a weapon and does not have a combat power.

dani - "you will inevitably turn into your mother. it is impossible for you to become anything other than what you were raised to be." i am keeping this vague because i have yet to mention in canon what, specifically, dani was raised to be.

auster - "you're just a liability, helpless to protect those you care about." no one told auster this outright, but he definitely got the message loud and clear over the course of karai's chosen and it has caused him to take some. questionable risks. it's fine.

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: SEMIFINALS

Match 1

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

Yuzu Hiragi

The entire show would not work if the cast wasn't obsessed with her, and they're all right to stan her, literally gets Sora and Serena to defect from Academia with her sheer charisma, beat Masumi at their gay little rivalry, Yugo spends a few days with her and is ready to die for her, Yuya is simply just the loudest about adoring her And why not? She is so clever and determined, doing the most work out of anyone to figure out the myth plot. Actively trains to keep up with the rest of cast. Even when the universe is conspiring against her and trying to keep her down, she fucking headbutts Roger and tells him off or manifests to help save the world in the ultimate girlboss team-up that was the Arc V finale. Truly any dimension without her is worth upending. - The mysterious magical bracelet that isekai's her to different worlds, the Can-Do attitude, the cool poses (fusion summoning), the ADORABLE character design, AND she was 1/4 of a world-saving hero in the past?? If it weren't for the meddling writers, she would have been the main character - yuzu is everything. literally the plot of arc v hinges on the fact everyone who meets her become just as obsessed with her. and they are totally right to do so

[klaeusmoved]

ㅤㅤa skeptical brow lifts for a moment, wondering if she's truly asking for what could basically be called a history lesson. but given he lived through all the events mentioned, why not speak of them? far be it for him to turn down an opportunity to flex his memory and knowledge. he snorts as his eyes roll, recalling said war with ease. ❛ easy, do not fall for such an obvious ploy from a fierce enemy. perhaps also that nothing is truly that easy. though i personally found the greeks to be rather entertaining, so i didn't mind that conclusion to the war. ❜ not that he'd had a vested interest in it from the start, anyway; he'd had far more pressing issues on his mind than another bloody human squabble. he hums before his lips twist cynically. ❛ that your god will never protect you ⸻ you must be able to do that yourself. ❜ he finds her final ask to be rather paltry compared to the first two, but he keeps that to himself and answers anyway. ❛ let grief convert to anger. blunt not the heart. enrage it, ❜ he quotes, smirk painted upon his lips. he doesn't continue, finding its invocation to be self-explanatory. rage is his best friend, isn't it? or perhaps his only true friend, and a comfortable old crutch.

ㅤㅤthe glass dangles carelessly betwixt his fingers, exasperation taking over his expression for a moment. ❛ a rather romanticized view of monsters, i must say. though fitting considering the current culture and its obsession with nonhumans, it is a foolish idea regardless. ❜ and it's a fool's hope to think monsters could ever be better, to ever be more. and for the creatures themselves, having any sort of faith in such a dream would only lead to disappointment ⸻ and falling back down that slippery slope of monstrosity even further than where they'd started. how many times had he himself done that? thought perhaps this was the time he'd find something truly worth living for, find true happiness, only for it to be torn away? leaving him colder, meaner, lonelier than ever? he has no desire to try again. his head tilts in acknowledgment of her unspoken request, rather enjoying the idea of not being the only one drowning one's sorrows. ❛ and so what if we do? that won't change the fact that becoming something to fear is what has allowed our survival in the first place. ❜

         eyes roll momentarily at his words, because of course, he was going to say that. it was almost a patented reply of who he was. and further reminder of how far beneath his shoe he tended to shove humanity. she was slowly getting used to that fact. that and she could see clearly, he would preach something, but was someone who very rarely practiced it. just as she was. advice was easy to give, and even harder to follow.   ❛   okay so in your humble opinion, what would one learn, from lets say, the war of troy. of the viking attacks on england, or even Shakespeare.   ❜    a part of her was genuinely curious to what he would say. which was why she'd only included one thing that well, spoke of things that cut too close to home for both. Shakespeare was pretty much an analogy for monsters and loneliness. she'd know simply from reading all his works. as she watches him take a long drink, her hand continues to move over the page, fingers creating a drawing, that only her mind knew. her hands a slave to the actions, and it was calming in it's simplicity. that and kept her from reaching for the alcohol herself.     (    her liver for one was glad for that reprieve.!    ) 

          a swift chuckle burns off her lips, as she raises amused hues to look up at the hybrid before her. ❛   there is no fairy tales. just cold hard truths. that even monsters can be lonely. always searching for something they're too scared to truly reach out and touch.   ❜   something she knew herself. as how long had she wrapped herself in a bubble of isolation. to protect her heart. how long had she been running from love?  (   even when she craved it completely!   )    looking up from the drawing once more. she lets her mind think over things, before finally shifting and walking over to the booze. needing one more than she thought, holding up a glass as though asking permission.   ❛   that may be true. we need to become the bigger monsters. but how long before we become scared of one in the mirror.   ❜    her words uttered into the silence of the room. before she too throws back the drink in it's entirety. relishing in the burn before moving back, to where she was seated, and picking the pen up once more. returning to her drawing. to her distraction.

[sillybub]

If cats ever comes back to tour United States again they should give some Asian actors the right to perform on the play. I would really want them to seize their of triumph. How would that work?

Hello Anon! Thank you for such a great question!

First of all, I HARD agree on wanting a diverse cast! CATS is such a great show for having actors of all different kinds of backgrounds--the diversity of the cast should reflect the diversity of characters within the show. I would LOVE to see Asian actors being cast, along with other actors of color!

Second of all, I sense that you might be talking about the racism towards Asians within the show, and how that can be handled. I am more than happy to address this VERY in-depth.  I’m not sure if this is what you meant for me to do, you have provided me with a good chance for me to talk about my thoughts in-depth.  

So, the first instance of racism we have is in Pekes & Pollicles with the infamous "heathen Chinese" lines.

I've about this before: one fix could be to replace the word "heathen" with any other two-syllable adjective. My favorite fix here is probably "foreign Chinese", but I think the actor would have to be VERY careful with what tone they sing this line in.

My personal fix for this would be to replace that line entirely with something more like "toy Pekingese". Same number of syllables, but we're talking about the dog breed now, and not an entire nationality. Pekingese dogs are classified as "toy" breeds (breeds that weigh 15 pounds or less when they are fully grown), and calling them "toys" would also hint that they're very pampered lapdogs who aren't actually that ferocious at all.

The Pollicle dogs are specified within the song to be Yorkshires, so I don't see why we can't call the Pekes Pekingese on top of that.

Now, more pressing is the Growltiger Issue, which is a little more complicated.

So, first and foremost, I'm strongly in the camp that Growltiger's Last Stand should be eliminated from the show forever.

My reasons for this are as follows:

1. Racism is baked deeply into the character of Growltiger. His song is all bout how he likes to terrorize Asians, original poem calls them slurs, and the entire thing just reeks of Orientalism on top of that. This should be reason enough to take it right out of the show forever.

2. This is much more of my personal opinion, and probably unpopular, but structure-wise, I think that the entire sequence is too long and interruptive. Growltiger's Last Stand in its entirely has a runtime of approx. 10-14 min. The only other song in the show of comparable length is the Jellicle Ball, which is a showcase of all the characters rather than just a very small handful. 10-14 minutes feels too long to focus on a single cat, who isn't even a real character within the show to begin with. The musical is interrupted to put on a different, smaller musical that feels vastly out of place from the rest of it.

Typically, an entirely new set is pulled on stage for the Growltiger sequence, with new pirate outfits for the characters. This is in contrast to the other show within the show, Pekes & Pollicles, where all of the props and costumes are repurposed junk. One of these feels much more authentic than the other. I have always LOVED the decision to give Pekes & Pollicles to Gus; the feeling of improvisation and unprofessionalism, and the absolute chaos of the cats feels much more natural and justified when it was literally an unplanned decision to help Gus relive his glory days as an actor. And since all the cats are involved in Pekes & Pollicles, it feels more intimate as well.

I'm going to expand more on my first point, now.

The Siamese cats are racist caricatures, and non-Asian actors wearing them should be considered yellowface.

Sure, they're supposed to be cats and not humans, but they are so obviously racialized. The masks feature exaggerated slanted eyes, and are very often yellow--hallmarks of a racist Asian caricature.  In early productions, they even sang in a vaguely Asian accent.  For predominantly non-Asian actors to don this costume, it’s yellowface.  

Now, I recognize that the 2020 Asia tour has updated the costumes to be less blatantly racist.  For reference, here is a typical Siamese costume:

(Hamburg 1997)

And here is the revised version:

(Asia Tour 2020).

As you can see, the color pallet has changed from yellow to blue, and there is much less Thai influence in the designs.  In changing the design, the Asia 2020 production has attempted a well-intentioned effort to de-racialize the Siamese cats.  However, these are still racist Asian characters being played by a non-Asian cast.  They context of the song is still the same, even though the costume itself is different.  

So, is it yellowface if an Asian cast plays the Siamese?

No, but it would be incredibly poor taste to cast Asian actors so they can play the Siamese.  

The act of an oppressed group adopting language and symbols that are normally used against them is called “reclaiming.”  For an all-Asian cast (especially with predominantly Thai actors) to put on their own production of Growltiger’s last stand could be an act of reclamation.  I’m not Thai, and only have East Asian heritage on my mom’s side, so it’s not for me to discuss how Growltiger and the Siamese could be reclaimed.

Now, I’m not afraid to call out people’s racism (whether it was intentional or not), so I’m going to talk about a small controversy with the cosplayer Pixiedustjellicle.  She had expressed interest in creating a Siamese mask to sell.  She viewed the Siamese as the heroes of the story, and wanted to create the mask as a homage.  That was a nice sentiment, but as I have discussed already, the costumes and entire concept of the Siamese are undeniably racist.  What Pixie was trying to do is an act of reclamation, but since she is a non-Asian (and specifically white) creator, it isn’t her place to do that.  (After receiving feedback about this from multiple people including myself, she has since apologized.)

Non-Asians should never try to put on Growltiger, and especially not white people.  The Siamese were created and brought to the stage by white men, and there is no way to divorce the racism from their characters. Staging it is something for Asian (ideally with a strong Thai presence leading) cast and crew to do if they so choose.

Additionally, several different Asian cultures are referenced in Growltiger. although there doesn't seem to be much intentional distinction between them, which is why I label it as Orientalism earlier. The Siamese are referred to as Mongolian, for one thing. Additionally, a Siamese cat mauled Growltiger's ear, but now he indiscriminately hates all Asians.

That being said, the Siamese cats are the specific villains of the song; ie, cats hailing from Siam (modern day Thailand) in Southest Asia, which is a very different region that East Asia.  It is for this reason that I place heavy emphasis on leaving it up to Thai people to reclaim the Siamese.

A few people have suggested a major re-write where the Siamese are replaced with the British Navy.  I think that if you truly want to keep the racist song, that’s one option to fix it.  Additionally, you could cut Growltiger and keep In Una Tepida Notte and The Ballad of Billy McCaw, who are fairly divorced from the context of the rest of Growltiger and have no traces of its racism within them.

I’m in the camp that it should just be cut forever, to be perfectly honest.  Even if it wasn’t racist, I don’t care for it.

[kirascottage]

dating jj maybank

jj maybank x gender neutral. reader

word count: 1.8k

cw: headcanons, overall domestic fluff, angst if you squint till ur visions blurry, mentions of poor emotional expression, mentions of sex / sexual innuendos, mentions of fighting / injury, strong pda, kissing, consensual groping, swearing, soft!jj

okay so this is the first time i’ve ever written dating headcanons so i’m gonna try my best

• jj and expressing emotions are a very complicated duo and almost everyone knows it, including you. he knows how he feels for you, and feels it strongly, but the way it comes out of his mouth is like gibberish and completely not understandable. 

“so you know — like — i don’t know, man. i feel heavy for you, like do you feel heavy for me, too?”

“jj, i don’t even know what heavy means in this context and what you’re referring to.”

• but he comes from a good place, and you come to know, learn and love that, because well he loves you, and with jj you just have to infer by his mess of words.

• this boy tries to be as romantic as possible but he’s literally never had a s/o before. the only thing he knows are one nighters so there is a lot that pope and john b advise him on because miscommunication is quite literally the worst. (stated by john b himself)

• for this instance and the sake of the headcanons: you are a member of the pogues, through and through.

• so most of the time you’re together, the pogues are there too. even dates. they love to occupy and jj could shout at the top of his lungs how they are the biggest cock-blockers to ever exist and they would not care. 

• so at that point he doesn’t even try to keep his hands to himself, he will touch you or quite literally make out with you in front of anyone and everyone he can.

• i mean he can get a little protective. (also considering he would never let you around his dad because he wants to protect you and would never let you near anyone that could hurt you) 

• i mean this guy would fight for you till the very end; punches thrown countless of times and harsh words absolutely shouted more times than you could count on your fingers, but no matter how many times you chastise jj, he would never stop to defend your honour because at the end of the night you’re the one playing with his hair and kissing his cuts and bruises.

• especially after everything as well with rafe, topper and the kooks he just wants everyone (including the tourons you see once a millennium) to know that you and him are romantically involved and you are very much taken.

• he even lets the most irrelevant people know the both of you are dating because he loves you that much:

“okay, babe, here me out—”

“jj a whole group of kids just asked me about our relationship! i love you, but the whole population does not need to know that we’re together.”

“obviously we can't tell the whole population! or I would, duh.”

•  even though he could blabber on about everything about you, including what shampoo you use and which perfume of yours is his favourite, affection is more his style: 

• this includes walking around with his hand in your back pocket because wearing anything but jean shorts is really not an option in that heat, (and this does include ass grabbing at every opportunity he can)—

• — his hand gently placed on your thigh while driving / while he’s next to you, interlocking pinkies 98% of the time as you walk together —

• — and peppering kisses is always happening. whether they’re ticking at your checks, suffocating your neck or affectionately placed on your forehead he’s always kissing you.

• other key, and essential, things that come to mind are that his arm is always around you; after everything that’s happened to him he just needs to physically know you’re there and that’s enough to subdue him.

• it’s almost routine for him arm to go around your waist or your shoulder, whether you’re tall or short, tbh he doesn’t really care, his arms and lips are always on you.

• dating jj is dating a teenage boy with absolutely no impulse control and zero control over what he says—

“I mean, dude, if you think about it, why isn’t a banana called a yellow if an orange is called an orange? and why are phones called ‘telephones’ like who the fuck came up with that crap?”

or

“i mean, hey, we could bang out here and it’s not like anyone would know. like jb could be out in the living room and be like clueless.”

“jj, there’s two windows pointing directly at us. i think he would know.”

• —if you don’t understand then he definitely does not either.

• you also flip each other off a lot and people are like ??? but you both are like — fuck you —(affectionate & full of love with my middle fingers)

• one thing he does know is how to flatter you, whether he’s obnoxiously winking at you or bringing you flowers with his tips from work, or he picked them himself, it’s all in the effort.

• any effort from you is like kids getting their favourite toy they’ve been wanting on christmas, for instance: anytime you bring him food, or offer to stay with him at john b’s is like swelling up his heart to the maximum.

• so when he’s not with you, or the pogues, which is rare he is outside. and jj is like diego the explorer he always finds little places just for himself, or for this instance with you.

• so a lot of dates include going to these secluded spots: sometimes it’s a picnic, or a walk, and stargazing is his absolute favourite as he listens to you drone on about the constellations and even just watching the sky with your presence next to him is so comforting and makes him feel safe. 

• of course when the pogues find out they’re brutal with their teasing.

“awww, look at the cute and happy couple!”

“my wittle babies, growing up so fast.”

“god, kie, you make it sound like we’re five?!”

• speaking of alone time, jj loves to cuddle when you guys are alone and that’s one thing he’s not fond of being teased about.

• his head is firm on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg flung over your hips. to him it’s just a perfect way to start and end the day.

• he also loves to watch movies while cuddling and he has a set of movies and their genres completely memorized for the occasion.

• he has such a good memory to the weirdest things. like he can state in the exact order your makeup routine, or talk about all the caves and sinkholes in yukatan but ask him how many states there are in america and he’s completely bummed.

• back to what i was saying, cuddling and movie times together.

• he’s the little spoon i will not argue with anyone about this, especially if something happened that day.

• like if rafe pissed him off, some kooks stepped on his toes, his dad had been particularly agitated that day or he was just frustrated. your embrace is what keeps his together. he just loves the feeling of your arms around him, essentially protecting him.

• and the pogues always get a kick out of it when they see you too snuggled in the morning. they even take pictures, a lot of pictures of everything and anything they can. 

• their fav times to take pictures is when you both are off guard: like when he’s putting his hat on you, he’s sharing his juul with you, you guys are laying together on the boat or maybe your surfing together in the water.

• he’s surprisingly intimate about everything even though they’re such mundane things for him.

• he expresses his love for you by actions rather than words. for example, he has a guitar (an absolutely beat up one with missing strings and chipped wood, but he says it has more character that way as well as your signature on the back of it)—

• —and just strums it for you absolutely whenever and however your mood is because no matter what its always calming. sometimes he even hums a little tune or starts singing a bit.  

• another few ways he depicts his love for you is by shoving his baseball hat on your head (the one that absolutely nobody is allowed to wear) because he doesn’t want you frying in the sun or dying of heatstroke.

• a lot of his tank tops are now yours because they’re so comfortable and you can wear them literally anywhere.

• he shares, only with you but, he shares. his rings are on your fingers, his bandana is around your neck, his boxers are your sleep shorts, and he absolutely eats that shit up.

• he also gets extremely comfortable with you, like even more than john b in a way. example: you could just be chilling, his arm wrapped around your neck and — boom — he’s shoving your face in his armpit and trying to tickle you.

• it gets to the point where the pogues are so used to it and sometimes even they join in because they even like being included in on your affections but would absolutely rather drown than admit it. they love watching their two best friends love grow for each other, and they're happy jj has found sanctuary to love and be with someone freely. 

• speaking of love, jj is also like a puppy: praise, reassurance and kisses are the way to his heart and staying there.

• i’m gonna say it, jj has self confidence and love issues. they are not detectable at all but with his mother gone and the way his father treated him, there’s shit buried in his heart that it takes awhile for him to open up about.

• once he does: he cries, and he cried a lot. but after that it was like never letting go again. he trusts you with his whole heart and soul and he knows you won’t take advantage of that.

• the way you both accept each other into each others lives is so important to him no matter where you live, who you are and what your family is like everything counts for him and that just makes you the person who you are. 

• dating jj can be complicated and messy and wonderful and passionate and relationships aren’t easy but he would def be worth it <3

[felassan]

Excuse me, you are so good at finding information and having a very organised blog. I remember reading or watching from an official source [like, a dev or Darrah or someone who worked for Bioware] explicitly say that the Old Gods are NOT the Evanuris. I can't find the source anymore, and would like to know if you have some idea who may have said it? Google results are all about theory-crafting by fans T_T. Have a good day!

hello! thanku ^^ what came to mind was this old post on the old BioWare forums by David Gaider, it's not explicit but could this be what you're thinking of? the post is from ~2009, before DA:I, the Flemythal reveal and all the DA:I dragon-Mythal iconography.

"The cult of the Old Gods (I don't call it "the Tevinter religion" mainly because that, to me, speaks of the Imperial Chantry -- which is based in today's Tevinter Imperium) didn't contradict the existence of the Maker. Quite the opposite. The people of ancient Tevinter were aware of the existence of the Golden City and ascribed to "the Maker" (though this Creator was not called this until the appearance of the Chantry) the creation of the world. The Old Gods were not creators, though they were supposedly also not created. The Old Gods were outside of the Creator's Plan and showed up to whisper to mankind and teach them magic. According to the Chantry, they turned mankind away from their regard for a remote Creator (who ruled remotely and never interacted with his own creations) and that this is what made the Creator abandon the Golden City... though there is argument that the cult believed the Creator had abandoned it long before and that they were adrift, rescued by the Old Gods. Modern sages say that this is attempt to explain the hardships that the early human civilizations faced, and not evidence of the Maker actually being absent.

So when Andraste showed up much, much later, she was advocating a return to the "rightful" worship of the Maker... it was not a belief that came out of nowhere.

As for the elves, their understanding of their own religion is incomplete. The whole truth was lost along with Arlathan and their immortality -- much of their lore was kept by a tradition of apprenticeship, handed down from the knowledgeable to the young, and this relied on the fact that the knowledgeable were eternal. Slaves also had less opportunity to spread their lore, so the sudden aging of the knowledgeable meant that much of this information was simply gone after several generations. This, of course, is their belief: the ancient Imperium maintained that the elves were never immortal to begin with, and that their lore was lost simply because the Imperium forbade its teaching.

Even so, the ancient elves did write things down, and so some scraps have been recovered. Thus the Dalish have slowly reassembled a religion from those pieces of lore, though how complete it is cannot be known. Even so, a few things are factual. For one, the original elven religion predates the cult of the Old Gods by a long time. Could the Old Gods have been based on the elven gods? Possibly, but there's nothing to suggest the elven gods were ever dragons, and certainly the contempt the Imperium held for elven culture makes it unlikely that they would think elven gods were worth worshipping. Consider also that it was the Old Gods that taught humanity its magic and encouraged them to destroy Arlathan -- why would elven gods do this? One could point to the Forgotten Ones (look at the codex entry on Fen'Harel for their mention) and suggest that they had reason for vengeance, though that would probably be against Fen'Harel and their good brethren and not against the elven people themselves, no? Still, all of that depends on how much of the knowledge given by Dalish tales is complete."

[astaroth1357]

Ok but like, what if MC's fandom starts to make ships with MC and the guys. Just think about the ship wars, the fancams, the fanarts, the absolute CHAOS when the brothers find out. It would be even worse if they start shipping MC with the undatables, one day everything is normal and the next day there are ship wars fighting over MC x Barbatos vs MC x Solomon (who are both very smug about it)

The MC's Fanclub are… Shippers?!

Perhaps… The italics blurb has been fulfilling its greater purpose all along…? Perhaps in its state of existential angst, it has in fact developed a plot of its own… An arc of introspection and self-discovery in which its own longing for purpose has forged a meaningful identity… It now has… a story…

Lucifer

As if they couldn't get any MORE frustrating…

He's not an otaku. He's not a part of ship culture. He's not even sure why anyone would care about who dates who around this school, but apparently it's a big deal to some people...

He only became aware of their interest in him and the MC's relationship through some very… subtle clues…

Like the groups that would follow them around in the hallways with their phones out.

Or the multitude of fan rumors about their relationship that Satan spams him with from time to time just to irritate him.

"MC refused hug from Luci in halls today!! Are they bout breakup??? 🥺"

"Tots got pic of kiss today!! Relationship upgrade??"

"IS ARE MC+LUCIFER SECET LVRS?!? PLEASE RESPOND"

It only got worse after he found out the MC gets shipped out a loooooot….

If he had to pick his least favorite ship, it'd be MC x Mammon. He can kind of see it with any of his other brothers (admittedly, Levi is also a little mystifying) but the idea of them ending up with Mammon makes his skin crawl...

He once found a drawing of the MC and Mammon in an… explicit position in one of the classrooms and he was so disgusted that he wouldn’t even touch it. He just set fire to the paper outright. Disgusting...

Mammon

Shipping, eh…? More money making opportunities!

Has some passing idea of what shipping is from Levi and, from what he knows of it, shippers eat cutesy couples stuff right up!! If all he's got to do to make bank is to look all couple-y around the MC then sounds like a win-win to him!

He'll happily pose for a photo or two (paid in advance) of him throwing his arm around the MC or something. Want him to hold their hand? Sure thing!

But since this is still Mammon we're talking about, the second MC actually starts getting into any of it he'll still turn into a blushy, stuttery mess...

For WEEKS the headline picture on so many of their fans' blogs was an image of him turning beet red while the MC kissed him on the cheek. (A fan really got their money's worth there... 😏)

Though he doesn’t exactly like the MC getting shipped with other people, he'll still totally sell pictures of any of them together. He almost paid off an entire credit card with the money he got from the t-shirt sales of the MC and Satan!

If he had to point to one ship he doesn't like it's either MC x Asmo or MC x Levi. His opinion, but Asmo won't treat them right and they could do waaay better than a shut-in. Like him. Ship the MC with just the Great Mammon, got it?

Leviathan

… Lowkey super active in the MC shipping community but is a self-shipper to the extreme.

Like, he never uses his real name on anything (and would probably die from embarrassment if anyone ever found out) but a lot of their fans probably know a couple of his aliases.

He does everything from mod forums, runs a couple blogs, even anonymously posts his own work of him and MC that are totally not his secret fantasy dates or AU versions of themselves, shaddup.

It’s a lot easier for him to keep his involvement secret because he’s hardly at RAD, but the few times he does show up he tries to keep an eye out for anybody prowling for pictures so he can get in a good pose and save the image later.

Mind you, his version of a “good pose” rarely gets more spicy than linking pinkies, but even then he’s still lit up a Christmas Tree throughout.

Naturally, he’s also not a big fan of any ships that aren’t just him and MC and he can find a reason to be jealous at almost anything. But he keeps a special corner of hate for MC x Mammon and MC x Diavolo. Like, the first one doesn’t even need an explanation but MC x Diavolo?? Really??? Do those two even talk?? (please, please, please make sure they never actually talk because a guy like him versus literal royalty? He’d lose MC for sure….!! 😫)

Satan

He hates to actually agree with Lucifer on something, but their fans are starting to get out of hand...

Knows what shipping is in concept, he may have done it once or twice to characters in his books, but he was kind of surprised how it could evolve into such a… group activity?

He was pretty quick to pick up that the MC’s fans had a bit more interest in them together than they did when they both were apart…

I mean, those hideous shirts that Mammon was pedaling were kind of a dead giveaway…

Considering he finds their fanclub all rather annoying, even without their bizarre interest in his love life, when they started actively meddling with him and the MC he was ready to smash some heads.

No. He will not stop for pictures. No. What things they do together is none of your business. No. He has zero interest in seeing your explicit fanart and if you don’t start running that will be the last question you ever ask.

He DOES, however, appreciate the cringy “annoy Lucifer” ammo. They could keep that up for a lifetime... 😏

He doesn’t have a least favorite ship because he doesn’t care about any of this, leave him alone. (That’s a lie, it’s MC x Lucifer. He pokes fun at Lucifer, but he can’t stand it either. Big shock, I know 🙄).

Asmodeus 

Oh he is shamelessly a part of the community, are you kidding?? 

He could practically call “Shipping the MC” one of his favorite pastimes. He’ll openly gossip with their fanclub about who they’ve been with, who they’re seeing, who’s got a chance, etc… He lives for this shit!

He’s the only person who knows that Levi is also in the community and what his aliases are (not because he told him, but because Levi’s not as subtle as he thinks he is… Who else would call themselves “SupremeRuri666” and speak mostly in outdated chat lingo?) but he doesn’t out him because he thinks his very obvious crush is kind of cute. 

Plus, Levi needs the outlet waaaay more than him…

Doesn’t stop him from constantly trolling him and getting into arguments over who the MC would be better with though (the two are “virtual nemeses” as far as Levi is concerned).

Appreciates all forms of expression that comes out of the community (especially the saucy kind 😏) and will happily feed into his own shippers without a care in the world.

Truthfully, Asmo will say that there isn’t a ship he doesn’t like but if someone mentions one that he thinks is kind of “eh,” he’ll just add himself into the mix. “Oh, you like MC x Barbatos? Well how about Asmo x MC x Barbatos? That sounds loads more interesting doesn’t it??”

Beelzebub 

Oh, Beel… Sweet, sweet Beel… Beel doesn’t even know what their club is doing…

Because Beel has a reputation of being pretty protective of MC - and against the fanclub in general - the club keeps a healthy distance… but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to sneak in some picture or make a SHITLOAD of fanwork about them.

Between classes and practice Beel is a busy guy, so sometimes he just doesn’t notice that there’s people hiding behind trees when he’s out with MC. 

Honestly, his complete ignorance of it all makes it even cuter because when he acts sweet, it’s not just for the camera. That’s the real deal.

Mammon was the one who eventually let it slip that there was even shipping happening and Beel was… kind of creeped out because isn’t this stalking? But also kind of weirdly happy(?) that MC x Beel was so popular… Very conflicted boy here.

He never actually acknowledges the community, though, and just keeps on being Beel (which still gave the fans more than enough material so all’s well that ends well?)

Beel genuinely doesn’t have a least favorite ship (because he believes the best ship is whoever makes the MC happy) but his second favorite under himself is probably MC x Belphie. They look very cute together...  😊

Belphegor 

Ride or die, Beel x MC x Belphie. 

Just kidding (kind of), Belphie isn’t into the shipping but if asked he’d be pretty okay with that one.

His campaign against the MC’s fanclub and their attention stealing ways means that he found out about their shipping thing only slightly ahead of Beel when Mammon was trying to get pictures of them napping together…

Honestly, he couldn’t care less if a bunch of weirdos were weirdly invested in their relationship, but he’s not about to let Mammon just make a quick Grimm off of it. Belphie makes sure that he gives him NOTHING to work with. 

Since Mammon is the main dealer, the shippers in both the MC fanclub and Belphie fanclub aren’t nearly as well fed and pretty desperate for anything... You best believe he plays that to his advantage (because it’s okay if he does. He’s not Mammon).

Really helps that MC x Belphie is legitimately a very cute looking couple, carried by Belphie’s cuteness alone if nothing else. Add an adorable MC and you reach levels so cute it could actually melt people into puddles of goo... They could be a registered weapon.

Least favorite MC ships are any that don’t involve him or Beel. Any others may as well just not exist, he won’t even acknowledge them. MC x Who? Yeah, that’s what he thought.

[koushou]

hey can i request a oneshot or hc for megumi, thank you 😩❤️

insufferable

pairing : megumi fushiguro x f!reader {small angst + fluff}

warnings : reader injury, gojo being a perv

word count : 3k

a/n : thank u for requesting! i'm a sucker for enemies to lovers, so this was fun to write, i hope you enjoy !

he’s been your rival for as long as you could remember, it was always some kind of competition between the both of you. although, the feeling you both feel for each other, is it truly as simple as hatred? 

Insufferable.

It was the only way to describe the dark haired boy standing in front of you, a smug grin playing on his lips.

“Alright, calm down, you two,” your teacher’s voice rang over to where you were standing as he made his way over.

Gojo sighs, running a hand through his hair as he eyes the both of you. 

“What did I say abo-”

“He clearly had a head start!” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest, glaring down your rival across from you.

“Are you accusing me of cheating?” He raises his eyebrows at you tauntingly.

“Anyone could tell that you ran before sensei blew the whistle!” 

“Maybe you should stop focusing on me, and work on bettering your own abilities instead.” He rolls his eyes while starting to walk away, obviously getting bored of the conversation.

“You—!” 

“Okay, okay, come on,” Gojo leads you away before you could tackle the boy with his back turned to you.

Megumi Fushiguro.

Your life-long rival, you guys had been by each other’s side for as long as you could remember.

Not that you wanted to remember, you hated him. And so did he.

Everything was a competition between the both of you, and although you would die before admitting it, your constant battles did improve you as a jujutsu sorcerer.

When you both found out you were going to be attending Jujutsu Tech together, you personally saw it as an opportunity to fight him even more, to prove that you were the stronger one, while Megumi-

Well, he didn’t care. He never cared about anything, anyway.

“Come on, we’re heading to the mission location,” Gojo begins to walk ahead of you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You let out a sigh, wishing you could be in the safe confines of your room instead of fighting alongside your least favorite person in the whole world.

“Sensei, what are the curses’ grades?” You ask after the tall white-haired man, who was getting into the front passenger seat of a black car.

“They said it would be a couple Grade 3’s, nothing too much,” the older man yawns, stretching his arms over his head before cursing as they bump against the car’s roof.

“They also mentioned a special grade or something, I don’t really remember,” Gojo slams the car door shut, leaving you to roll your eyes at the man’s irresponsibility.

About to make your way to the car as well, you stumble as a force pushed you from behind, turning around as you get ready to attack whoever was-

“Try not to die to a couple Grade 3’s, alright?” Megumi smirks down at your fuming expression, before making his way to the car.

“I mean, I know they can be quite a hassle for you, but take your time.”

Inhaling sharply, you massage your temples with one hand, trying to suppress your frustration and holding back from tackling the boy to the ground.

“He’s so immature.” Nobara, one of your closest friends at Jujutsu Tech, comes up to you, rolling her eyes at the boy.

“Ignore him, let’s have some meat buns when we get back.” She sends you a wink before walking towards the car, to which you respond with a laugh.

There will be meat buns waiting when I get back, you thought to yourself, licking your lips unconsciously. It will be worth it, snuggling up back in your fluffy blankets, binging your newest favorite show that was airing today-

“You coming or not?” A voice breaks you from your daydream, snapping your head up.

“Ah, are you scared? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” Megumi smiles at you mockingly, chuckling as he shoves his hands into his pockets and entering the car in the back seats.

Ah.

This was going to be a long day.

-

“We’re here,” Gojo announces, unlocking the car door to get out. 

You all exit the car, stretching as you take note of your surroundings.

The mission assigned this time was to eliminate a couple curses who had sneaked their way into an elementary school. The students were still inside, so you had to be extra careful with fighting.

“Well then, let’s head in.”

Starting to make your way toward the school entrance, a small groan from the side halts you all in your tracks.

A green, slimy creature emerges from the bushes, crawling on its legs as it stares up at all of you.

It leaps forward suddenly, lunging at you, as you raise your sword in time to block it, slicing it in half in one swift motion.

It lets out a final groan as it drops to the ground, melting into a green blob.

“Not too bad, you actually killed it.” Megumi raises an eyebrow in amusement as you clean your sword of any of its remains.

“Thanks for the compliment.” You snarl at him sarcastically, drawing another sigh from Gojo.

You all continue making your way to the school’s front doors, when suddenly your teacher holds an arm out, stopping all of you.

“Shh, listen.”

There was a quiet voice- no, many voices coming from down the hallway of the school. The building was filled with black smoke, restricting your views of where the sounds were coming from.

It sounded as if the many voices were chanting a curse or spell of some sort, and you all knew instantly.

This couldn’t be the doings of a grade 3.

It had to be a special curse.

Gojo steps forward slowly, entering the black smoke as he checks the left hallway, before returning and nodding to you that it was safe.

You nod, slowly making your way into the school as well, turning to check the right hallway. 

The black smoke almost made it hard to breathe, you trying your best to swat away any smoke making your eyes tear up.

The chanting became louder as you entered the hallway, and you saw a figure standing in the middle.

Your breath catches in your throat, ready to turn and tell Gojo what you saw, but could you really describe what it was?

It stood at least two feet above you, with gray skin mixed with red blotches here and there and multiple arms hanging by its side. Horns and unidentifiable liquids stuck to its skin, with its mouth hanging open. It had the sharpest teeth you’d ever seen on a curse- no, you’d ever seen in your life- and drool pooled at the corners of its lips, if you could even call them lips, before dripping down its chin, staining the marble floor.

It continued to chant its spell, however it sounded as if the voices were in your head, in your eardrums, echoing through your brain. 

You could hear your name being called from behind you, probably Gojo, but the chants were getting louder, louder, and louder until the special grade was standing right before you, its tall figure looming over you.

Snap out of it, you thought to yourself, trying to shake its voice out of your head, commanding your legs to move. To turn back. To run.

Finally you felt your legs listening to you, and you turned around and ran. Ignoring the pattering footsteps of the creature following close behind you, you ran as fast as you could.

Finally, you could see the light at the entrance, where you all had been before, and you could almost see their faces, until-

“Y/N—!” 

A sharp pain shot through your stomach.

Ah, that voice.

The voice of your rival who had been competing with you, fighting with you, for your whole life.

It was like it all happened in slow motion, like in the movies.

Megumi and the others stood before you, with a horrified expression as their eyes travelled down, down to your stomach.

You followed their gaze, a dark crimson stain beginning to seep through your uniform, a sharp horn stabbed from the back, right through your body.

Ah, this was it. That jerk was right, huh? I am weak after all.

At that moment, your body went limp. All feelings left your limbs, leaving you to free fall forward, eyes closing as you begin to lose consciousness.

But not before you felt a pair of arms wrap around you, stopping you from the impact.

“Y/N! Wake up, come on, wake up—!”

Why do you keep shouting? You’re so loud, be quiet.

“You can’t do this, wake up— please—“

I told you to be quiet, geez, let me sleep already.

And the last crumb of consciousness left your body.

-

A horrible thumping pain in your head. Hushed voices from next to you. Fingers entangled with yours.

Wait- fingers?

It had never been so hard to open your eyes, wincing as a bright light from above hits you directly. 

Taking a moment to adjust, you finally looked around your surroundings.

It seemed as if you were in a hospital room, long tubes connected to your arms, hands, legs, making it hard for you to move at all.

You notice a doctor and Gojo speaking by the door, but what shocked you was the sleeping boy by your bed.

The sunlight seeping through the window shines on his slender face perfectly, dark strands of hair framing his sleeping face, one you could’ve almost teased him for until you notice his hands. Your hands. 

His fingers entangled with yours by your side, the warmth from his palm radiating through yours as the rise and fall from his breathing caused his hands to move slightly every time.

You wished you could snap a picture of this right now, but the comforting feeling of his hands against yours made you not want to move an inch.

“Ah, you’re awake, Y/N,” You recognized your teacher’s voice as he makes his way over to your bed with a relieved smile.

You feel the boy wake up with a jolt, eyes blinking to focus themselves, before settling on yours and widening. 

It was only then that he became aware of your entangled hands, quickly pulling away and coughing to cover the slight pink spreading across his cheeks.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor next to Gojo asks, holding a clipboard in his hands.

“Just a bit sore in my ribs, but nothing too much.” Megumi glances in your direction, and you would’ve thought it was out of concern before mentally slapping yourself at the absurdity of it.

“Alright, we’ll need to keep you here for a few weeks,” the doctor says, noting something on his clipboard. “I’ll be right back, we still need to give you a check-up.”

He leaves the room, and Gojo takes a seat on the other side of your bed, across from Megumi.

“I’m glad you’re alright, Y/N,” he sighs, before leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Good thing you were brought back in time, doc says that any longer and the injury would’ve been more severe.” 

You nod, facing your teacher, “Thank you sensei, I should’ve been more careful.”

He shakes his head, “It was a special grade, my fault for not notifying you all earlier.”

A grin spreads across his face, leaning forward slowly in his seat. 

“But I’m not the one you should be thanking.” He nods his head slightly to your left, making you turn to see a coughing Megumi, who suddenly thought his shoes were the most interesting things in the world.

Gojo chuckles, patting your shoulder as he gets up to leave.

“I’ll leave you two alone, Megumi take care of her, alright?”

Even behind the blindfold, you could sense that he was sending a wink your way.

The boy only grumbles in response, fiddling with his hands nervously.

You stare at him, before bursting out in laughter.

His head shoots up, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at you still laughing.

“What’s with that gloomy look? Don’t tell me…” 

You tilt your head at him, a smirk spreading across your face.

“Aww, are you worried about me, ‘gumi?” 

The use of the nickname you made for him makes him scoff, turning away from you.

“As if. Just wondering about how stupid you were to get yourself hurt.”

He bites his lips for a moment, as if pondering his next words.

“And stop laughing so hard, what—”

Megumi stops and looks away.

“—what if your wound opens again?” He murmurs quietly, but you managed to catch it.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, before chuckling at him teasingly, “So you are worried about me, liar.”

“Am not!”

“You totally are.”

“Keep lying to yourself.”

With a sigh, you close your eyes, refusing to argue with the boy any longer.

“By the way, what did sensei mean before? That you were the one I should be thanking?”

You open your eyes, waiting for his answer.

His eyes widen the slightest bit, before looking away once again.

“...s’nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You raise your eyebrows at him, confused.

He shakes his head, showing that he wasn’t going to answer.

Groaning, you roll your eyes at his childish behavior, “God- you’re so infuriating sometimes, why—”

“When you fainted, I carried you all the way to the hospital, okay?! On my own damn legs, I ran all the way here, I don’t know why I did, but I did so stop asking—!”

Megumi shouts, panting as he finishes talking with an unreadable look in his eyes.

You gape at him slightly, still trying to register his words.

“You...carried me here? Why didn’t you just take the car?”

He scoffs, “The car is way too slow, I would be faster. Plus, your injury would’ve gotten worse so you should thank me.”

He eyes you, searching for any emotions on your face, but all you felt was confusion at the moment.

A few beats of silence pass, and Megumi sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Well? At least say something.” He mumbles, shifting his feet on the floor.

You just look at him, not believing what he said, before laughing softly.

“Man, ‘gumi, if I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought you liked me so much that you were scared that I would die.” 

You teased him, expecting a scoff or an insult thrown back of some sort, but he just rolls his bottom teeth in between his teeth, not making eye contact.

“...so what if I do?” He finally says, so softly that you wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t so close to you.

Wait, why was he so close to you—

The distance between you two closed as he leaned forward to meet your lips with his. The kiss was slow, inexperienced, but honest and passionate. 

Your eyes widened in shock, while his were screwed tight, afraid to open and meet yours.

A contrast to his appearance and personality, his lips were soft, fitting snugly against yours, the taste of him sweet, like cherries.

After a few seconds, he pulls away hesitantly, sitting back down in the chair.

The tension was so thick in the room, not even a knife could cut through it.

It was awkward for a few beats before he spoke.

“I-uh, sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he rubs the back of his neck, a heavy pink dusting his cheeks.

“It..it’s fine, it was nice,” you spoke softly, almost whispering.

His head shot up, facing you. “You liked it?” 

You bit the inside of your cheeks, before nodding, slowly meeting his gaze. 

“Thank you, for saving me.” 

A small smile spreads across his lips. Not a teasing one he would use when he was making fun of you, not a fake one, no. This was different.

Megumi was genuinely smiling at you like you were the most amazing thing he’s ever seen before.

“No problem,” he speaks, before slowly reaching for your hand.

Watching you with a careful gaze for any signs of discomfort, he intertwines his fingers with yours, giving it a small squeeze.

“... I was scared, you know?” He sighs, eyes never leaving your face.

“Scared that… I would lose the one person I care about.” You flush at his words.

“I know, I treat you like you’re below me all the time, like you’re weak, but I-“ He clears his throat, not wanting to mess this up. He only had one chance after all.

“-I do care about you, and I get happy whenever we fight against each other, or with each other. I was scared that- that I would lose the most important person in my life.”

You couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face, one part of you wanting to tease him like usual, but the other part of you, wanted to do something else.

You tug on his hand that was still holding yours, making him lean forward as you met his lips halfway.

The kiss was a little longer this time, you didn’t have to use words to convey your feelings. He knew. And you knew, too.

Pulling away at last, you lightly flicked his forehead, causing him to pout and rub the sore spot.

You giggle, looking down at your intertwined hands.

“I care about you too, Megumi. A lot. I always have.”

You smile.

“And I always will.”

He smiles widely, leaning forward once again until you hear muffled voices on the other side of the door.

“Do you think they’re having s-”

“Sensei! Stop being so loud, they might hear you—“

The door suddenly slams open with Nobara and Gojo tumbling onto the floor. 

Silence.

Laughing awkwardly, they finally stand up, nudging the other to speak.

“I- she- uh, we- woah—!” Gojo gasps dramatically at the sight of your hands together.

“So you were having s-”

Both of you flush at the same time, shouting at him.

“We weren’t—!”

You all burst out laughing, feeling Megumi squeeze your hand softly.

Gosh, making you feel butterflies in your stomach like this?

Megumi Fushiguro was truly insufferable.