#its also the same with one of them and my spelling
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Explaining The Iterator's Purpose (And Why They Weren't Made to Circumvent The Echoes)
Alright, I know there's already been a few posts like this out there, like this older one from @halvedforest, and this recent one from @noizepushr, which are both good posts, but I've been meaning to touch up and cross-post my own older misconceptions post from reddit for a while now, and provide a deeper, more expanded analysis as to why this misconception exists and explain what's actually going on, so here it finally is haha I'll also be using the term 'Benefactor' instead of 'Ancient', if people are confused about that, I intend to make a post about it eventually ^^
( If you're confused on who out there even believes this, this idea originated from Rain World YouTube lore videos, long before Downpour was ever a thing! It is unfortunately still quite prominent on there... but it's definitely getting better :3 )
This misconception stems from misreading the singular pearl to ever mention the echoes, being the Bright Red farm arrays pearl, so let me begin by attaching the specific section below:
âThere were some horror stories though... That if your ego was big enough, not even the Void Fluid could entirely cross you out, and a faint echo of your pompousness would grandiosely haunt the premises forever. So even when the Void Fluid baths became cheaper, some would still starve and drink the bitter tea.â (Bright red Farm Arrays pearl dialogue)
Note the specific usage of âsomeâ here. Echoes weren't presented as an issue significant to re-center Benefactor society around, (let alone build the iterators for) but as some horror stories which only "some" people (likely on the fringes of society) would believe in. Nowhere are we given anything that alludes to the existence of Echoes being regarded as a societal problem to address, much less have anything to do with the Iterators.
Additionally, although we know for a fact that echoes do exist, its fairly possible that most of Benefactor society didn't, as LTTM doesn't even know what they are either, regarding them as nothing more than superstition. On the very next line, LTTM confirms that the void baths continued all the same, while again mentioning that "some" would still choose to abstain from them, and drink the bitter tea.
Then whatâs the purpose of the iterators if they weren't created to circumvent the echoes? What is The Big Problem that they are even trying to solve in the first place? Well, both FP, LTTM, and the Exterior colored pearl dialogue spell the answer out for you. In fact, it's the first thing FP even tells you!
âThe good news first. In a way, I am what you are searching for. Me and my kind have as our purpose to solve that very oscillating claustrophobia in the chests of you and countless others. A strange charity - you the unknowing recipient, I the reluctant gift. The noble benefactors? Gone.â (Five Pebbles dialogue to Survivor) (Monk's version also hits similar notes)
Five pebbles introduces himself as a âreluctant gift," with his purpose being "to solve that very oscillating claustrophobia in the chests of you and countless others," meaning to solve the cycles for everyone and everything else.
If you bring Looks to the Moon a neuron, she has the chance to repeat the same exact explanation to you.
"We were supposed to help everyone, you know. Everything. That was our purpose: a great gift to the lesser beings of the world. When facing our inability to do so, we all reacted differently. Many with madness.â
FP, LTTM, and the rest of their kind were created to serve the rest of the world in finding a method of total mass ascension, of ending the cycle entirely for everyone.... and everything. Not only including the fauna of the world, like the slugcat, but the bedrock, microbes and even gases, as explicitly stated in this snippet from the Exterior pearl dialogue below:
âThe Moral Argument: Five Pebbles is our Creation, and we have Parental Obligations towards him. As an Iterator, he is also a Gift of Charity from Us to The World (unable to reach Enlightenment by itself - being composed mostly of Rock, Gas, dull witted Bugs and Microbes - and towards which We thus have Obligations)â (Pale Green Exterior pearl dialogue)
Here we have the Benefactors define it very clearly, that as an iterator, Five Pebbles is a "Gift of Charity from Us to The World." It's important to note that many misinterpret the next section in parentheses as being about FP himself, but if it were, it would be the only time FP is ever referred to as âitâ. What's really being described is the world, âunable to reach enlightenment by itself, being composed mostly of rock, gas, dull witted bugs and microbesâ The world is unable to reach Enlightenment on it's own and therefore, that's why the iterators were created. (Also- when you think about it, the description of "being composed of rock, gas, and dull witted microbes" doesn't even really fit FP's description lol)
Quick but necessary tangent, the concept of non-living things being apart of the cycle is a little confusing, and tricky to quickly answer without going deep into cycle lore discussion, (I have an entire post in drafts dedicated to clearing this up) but it's actually incredibly important for understanding what The Great Problem is! To shed some light, it's not that non-living matter are able to somehow comprehend the cycles, but that the entire physical world itself is actually an intrinsic part of the cycles.
If you leave a stone on the ground, and come back some time later, it's covered in dust. This happens everywhere, and over several lifetimes of creatures such as you, the ground slowly builds upwards. So why doesn't the ground collide with the sky? Because far down, under the very very old layers of the earth, the rock is being dissolved or removed. The entity which does this is known as the Void Sea. If you drill far enough into the earth you begin encountering a substance called Void Fluid. The deeper you go, the less rock and more Void Fluid. It's believed that there is a point where the rock completely gives way - below that would be the Void Sea. When that stone you placed on the ground has finally done its time in the sediments, it meets the Void Fluid and is dissolved, leaving the physical world. (Teal Subterranean pearl dialogue)
There's a reason that 'Cycles' is always plural in Rain World, because there's multiple of them! Organic life is in cycles, the physical bedrock of the world is in cycles, even the very concept of civilization is in cycles. In order to ascend everything, that means ascending not only all living things, but the entire physical universe itself! That's what the Great Problem really is :D (Also technicallyyy it's only ever referred to as "the big problem" and not "the great problem", the latter term stems entirely from the community but it's whatever i just wanted to quickly mention that. great problem definitely sounds cooler LOL)
In conclusion, Iterators are described as "Gifts to the World" not once, not twice, but three entire times throughout base game Rain World's dialogue, one from FP, one from LTTM, and one from the Benefactors. Rain World lore holds many unanswered, purposefully ambiguous questions, but the Iterator's purpose is not one of them!
If you're confused/interested in analysis of the Benefactor's motivations and perspectives on Ascension, I made a post a little while back containing my thoughts right here :)
#rw lore#rainworld#my lore#rain world lore#rain world#rwlore#rain world analysis#iterators rain world#rain world iterators#rw spoilers#rain world spoilers#rw iterator#yeah theres a lot of stuff in drafts#i was supposed to be using this time to study for my biology exam tomorrow guys#im so fucked
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I mean this in no disrespect to any of my irls but oh my god sometimes i just really cant fucking stand any of my irl friends/people ik in a old school server im in
#like is it really that funny to say the same jokes over and over again#or say that my responses are âtypicalâ#âHELPMEâ âcommon ezra response đđđâ do i just fucking die#sometimes they mock (?) me for how i respond to stuff and it REALLY fucking bothers me#but i dont have the heart to say it#i know they think its funny and i really try to play along but oh my god#and the last thing i wanna do is weaken any sort of friendship i have with them because#(this is really gonna sound stupid) theyre some of the only close friends i have#its also the same with one of them and my spelling#ill mistype something and then the mistype goes in quoation marks#most of the time it doesnt bother me but it isnt funny after 150 times#âHELKENEâ ââhelkeneââ SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!! i dont know im just really angry all of a sudden#theyre in one of the servers i made and they carried that exact humor over there#anyways like. i dont dislike my friends in that school server but srsly it feels like whatever humor this is isnt funny#or maybe im just angry and im making a. fool out of myself online again and I think too cynical and im delusional#closet rambles again on tumblr
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So yeah, 'Ranma 0.5' or something like that..
#im so happy its getting a remake!!!#i know im like more than a week late but sorry i was busy#and yes this is redraw the artblock sadly hasnt left me :'(#ANYWAYS RANMA!!!!#one of the series of all time fr#ranma 1/2#ranma saotome#akane tendo#ryoga hibiki#p chan#shan pu#«i like this spelling better than shampoo idk its far punny and fun that actually spelling out the pun#also thats how its actually spelled in the japanese ver of the manga#musu#«same goes for him too#ill only be using these spellings while tagging my own posts though since 'shampoo' and 'mousse' are the most popular spellings#and it would seem kinda out of place lol#my art#yucaillusts#god i love them sm#also if you want try to see if you can figure out which art this is a redraw of ;)
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if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.
#toy txt post#or maybe i am just sameface syndrome#but also different face syndrome#two characters will have the same face but then the next time i draw those characters its a different face than they had last time!#i know part of it is being out of practice but also there is definitely an element of feeling constrained by human facial structure lmao#the monsters have Their Own Problems but like. no one has a face like bokrae no matter how inconsistent i am about drawing her#her features are iconic enough to her that you can tell everytime#birdie???? i faceclaimed eartha kitt for her and im still struggling cos i feel weird about faceclaiming as a concept#but even then đ one time i was trying to give headloose a face and someone was like wow he looks like birdie!#me đđđđđ what!!!!!! hes not supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to practice. features#you know the worst part about coming up w a bunch of fuckin Scenarios in my brain for ocs is that i have even fucking Drawn them yet#to give them like. iconic staple features and figure out what their faces look like. which feels like it would really help to have that#knowledge and muscle memory before i jump into trying to draw intense scenes with difficult poses!!#not to mention. listen. i can do the monster faces. somewhat. the bodies??????????? well for one. theyre too big everytime#im convinced i could be trying to draw bokrae on like a full ass wall size paper like a mural thing and run out of room. it just keeps#happening. i have no sense of scale for them either. by which i mean i struggle w scale already and also cant decide what i want it to be#and ive tried to handwave it away by being like ohhh uh. birdie casts spells on them to change their sizes for convenience but also#no. perhaps that explanation works for other ppl. @ myself tho its not good enough i Know Better!!!!!!#agh!!!!!!! i really need to figure out bokrae's Teeth also. like i dont. i coukd get away with it. but i should. and i want to.#anyway all this to say that i need to give these characters faces and body designs (actually the body designs for humanoid ocs is the easy#part. the faces are whats stumping me? well. i need more practice w all the body types again but like i Know what im Going For at least.#for the most part anyway. havent fully figured out heights. struggling w characters that i want to make short but give imposing tall energy#on occasion? birdie can be short all day long no problem. I want Alasdair to be short enough that he has a bunch of short boyfriends that#feel tall around him? bytte was going to be like 6ft max but then i thought about making her taller and like. what if i made her taller#headloose is not that /short/ but he is Not Tall and prolly pretty lean? twink build for sure#and of course all these short /tall distinctions come with a bias of relativity to my own height which i categorize as medium height#but short ppl call me tall and insist its not average and tall ppl call me short. (5'6) and then i have to factor in how the gender changes#the dynamic of a height like my height is Short For A Man but medium to tall for a Woman. which id argue is medium height bc mens heights#are socially held to high standards (hehe) and also i know ethnicity/race is also a factor? but im out of tags. rip. bye
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Because I am lazy with reinventing stuff I have been looking at some fallen angels (mostly Watchers because there is a list) and it's so funny to me that there is/was an angel around to "Cure the stupidity of men" Like thanks I need no more
also there was one guy which bascially was a constellation myth for Orion and he and Azazel(/Lucifer/Satan/whoever pointed Eve to the apple) were punished by hanging out between Heaven and Earth...forever or a long time but that got me to think...this would mean that (insert name of whoever tempted Eve in YOUR specific texts) is also a constellation, and if it's Lucifer it'd be the Morning Star which from what I remember either refers to Venus OR the brightest Star in the Sky aka Sirius aka part of Canis Major aka the constellation right next to Orion Fallen Angel shenanigans in the Sky? it's more likely than you think
also smth smth them being turned into Constellations and humanity using Fallen Angels, aka the givers of forbidden knowledge (you know..like reading and stuff) to navigate smth smth
#txts#look i know this is an overall...mix of many canons#not all bible#but i always associate that stuff with the bible bc thats my first introduction i got to this kinda God and his cohort#its still part of christianity and judaism afaik#but i think it was part of different books#.....i think even B.C but i also think some stuff referred to Jesus#but that might have just been Abaddon whose canon goes beyond a name and title#good for them#or them as a place#or them as dirt digger#or them as witness of jesus rebirth#i'll stop there#i enjoyed digging through greek myths as a kid#this tbh brings the same stuff out again#bc you can just see the connections people have made#and how they explained the world and happenings around them#by making up a lot of funky little guys#and telling stories to teach societal conventions#or sometimes just to make smth cool up (also good)(maybe not for historians but hey)#so anyhow i am absolutely imaging Samyaza(insert 20different ways to spell his name here) getting plopped up there#and Az/luci/satan/whomever at this point just going 'First Time?'#as they both just have to hang out around there#does it make sense? not rly#but neither does texts describing Azazel as someone distinct from Lucifer#or him as both a place AND a fallen angel#and sometimes the same one as Samael#bc these texts are fucking old and from various places and cultures and ever shifting depending on what was needed#so in this one canon(my headcanon)...this exists now
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i have to get this shit out before i explode
you can't blame people for viewing chara in a negative light when the game only really gives them chara content in form of the genocide route and what asriel says about them.
both in which depict them as ether an unstoppable destroyer or "not that great of a person".
plus given the fact that it was their plan to have asriel kill humans when they didn't want to, shades in their character (haha funne joke) as a bitter and lost kid who desperately needs better guidance than the dreammers (as much as it kinda hurts to say-) had given them if any.
plus the whole thing about chara being the narrator is a theory and not actually cannon otherwise the true pacifist run would have revealed as such- and i don't believe toby would do that because chara is not meant to be a real character in the story but simple there to add to asriels arc.
the bits we get about them are only there so that they given enough of a reason as to why they were important to him.
also i think the reason why gender discourse for the humans in particular is so toxic is because of how badly people were burnt by gendered depictions of them and wanting to over correct to them having no gender to the point where people dox each other over the genders of fictional characters that we don't really know how they'd react to being called a certain pronoun because they aren't real.
#calm the fuck down about these characters and just be glad you got the chance to experience them#sheesh#i'm so tired of how people talk about undertale when it comes to its characters that i want to explode every one up with a wizard spell#same applies with deltarune i just havent the words to describe my feelings yet#that hate applies to me also like i cant believe i fell for this fucking telephone game#also when i say bitter and lost child that doesn't mean i somehow view chara in a negative way its just how it is.#i don't have them its just that they are not this saint like some people think they are#nether are they a bad guy#they are just human. like anyone playing is
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maybe im projecting but i feel like Ollie would have a FUCKING HUGE monstera plant in his house thats taking over his living room
#ollie#anytime someone asks about it hes just ''good camouflage for me :]''#in fact i feel like he would have a shit load of plants from his home continent that his mom keeps sending him#but again maybe im projecting AHA#like yeah he can forge weapons of war with his eyes closed and can maul a grown man to death but dammit that man knows his PLANTS#anyway i got a monstera over the winter bc ive wanted one for the longest time but i was sO scared of killing it#bc its higher maintenance than succulents and snake plants all that#and brother i aint got the remembrance or energy or executive function to be taknig care of high maintenance plants but luckily#my obsession has taken over and im doin pretty good keeping up with watering and i plan on getting it better soil for fertilization#it seems to be doing well and is even growing 3 new leaves AAOOOOO#one of the juvenile leaves even grew a lil hole in it and im :')#but i still gotta properly repot it and actually put poles in it to climb bc theyre kinda half ass put in there#but sPRING IS COMING i am ready#also have a monster adinsoniiiiiiihowever tf u spell it but same applies#i feel like just having 1 (or 2 kindof) that are high maintenance is goin good bc i can focus most of my energy on that like a pet PFFT#bc unfortunately i fear that if i had a shit load of high maintenance plants i would get overwhelmed and involuntarily make them all die#which SUCKS bc i want my house to be infested with so many plants sOOO BAD ugh maybe one day i wont be mentally ill lmfao đ#ANYWAY more pon ti comin soon
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â-
#mod posts#idk dude i am so conflicted abt this âbarnaby is overratedâ shit#on one hand im like⊠wow another person who feels heâs overrated. daring today are we?#on the other im like⊠i understand what its like when the character you like isnt the popular one in the community#like i normally tend to hyperfixate on the side characters so i absolutely know how frustrating it is#i also know from personal experience that a lot of it can just be hating it solely BECAUSE its popular#when i was like 14 and undertale came out i hated it just bc it was popular. and then i played it myself and yknow what? i enjoyed it#like⊠its okay not to like something!! everyone has unique tastes#and i also understand the concern abt barnaby being treated like snatcher (i know NOTHING abt snatcher so dont. quote me on that)#like theres a chance the âfanonâ version of barnaby will be given precedence over âcanonâ#the same shit happened with sans. remember all those sans/reader fics where sans was this edgy mysterious guy?#yet in fanon hes just a funni little skeleton who likes bad jokes?#yet in *canon jesus christ i cant spell today#but like. can we just let people enjoy things if they arent hurting anyone?#like i get it its annoying sometimes. like i had to mute the oc tag bc i was tired of seeing RP stuff#but im not like. going into their inboxes and telling them theyre bad ppl for enjoying a popular character yknow?#sorry this is making like. no sense. and im sorry to put it in tags but i do NOT want this spreading#anyways. those are my thoughts for today.
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(same anon here with the touchy guy best friend) Don't get me wrong, Aaravos, I never reciprocated his romantic feelings...I always knew they were there, but I didn't want our friendship to get awkward because of it
What I didn't know was he'd been alienating me from the other guys for MONTHS, and I'd always feel left out and lonely in groups, and he'd be the person i'd turn to, the person i thought I could trust
So when i found out he was the cause of all my misery, my heart just absolutely shattered, you know? Because I didn't know this was the sheer extent of his feelings for me...and it creeped me out, because he was the kind of guy who didn't take no for an answer
my sixth sense would always scream at me whenever he'd touch me in a way I wouldn't like...like the one time he put his hand on my waist, and honest to god, I was not only creeped out, but I was also scared. i don't know why, and i didn't know how to tell him to stop touching me, but it scared me...i was thirteen years old, and i still remember my heart pounding-
and i do hate him, but honestly, i feel like its my fault too...the signs were all there from the start and i chose to ignore them in a desperate bid to revive a friendship and a person i knew was too adamant to change
and i think this is the first time i'm really, genuinely talking about this, since i don't think i have any friends at all anymore
Oh, goodness, little one, you've been carrying this around for quite some time, haven't you?
Starling, breaking away from such a thing with little to no support is incredibly difficult, and I am so, so proud of you for it. <3
...Do let me know if you ever see him again. I have a blade you can borrow, if you'd like.
#aaravos answers#ask#anonymous#and i would happily cause harm to any who wish it on my flock#you have friends here little one <3#mun says:#making friends is both easy and difficult#if you make a rp blog for your blorbo its an easy way to find people who also like them#and then sometimes they will geek out bc their fave character is talking to them and you can be internally shrieking#and you are both internally flipping out about This Is Such A Cool Person Why Are They Even Talking To Me Aaaaaaaaa#and then they??? like talking to you????#oh look you made a new friend#(THIS HAPPENED MULTIPLE TIMES I SWEAR IM NOT COOL AARAVOS IS JUST MAGIC)#anyways <3 you got this!#Talk To People is really hard believe me i know but surprisingly often they Talk Back and they Like You and Are We Friends Now??#it's weird#harder and easier than you think all at the same time#or is that just me?#oops rambling too long sorry#anyways. my spell slots are limited my friend slots are not. hi#okay goodnight <3
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Ok so I need to rework my Wendy skilltree concept because klei heard ppl complain abt the combat and went alright then time to completely rework combat but very slowly one update at a time so no one realizes until we straight up give Willow spells
#rat rambles#starve posting#this is abt the new dst beta btw willow and wigfrid are getting skill trees#now I have complicated feelings on parts of their skill trees but this is a beta so Im fully expected attempted improvements at least#<- this is mostly abt the beefalo stuff on wigfrid's since it just feels. so out of place with the rest of her skill tree#but burnie desperately needs better buffs especially since youre required to take a lot of them for the lunar and shadow branches#I also have some complicated feelings on the direction theyre taking the comabt but at the same time it is a necessary change#but at the same time one thats only necessary because of them deciding to take a more boss heavy approach to game progression#basically this is their attemtp to get out of a whole they dug themsleves in#which means that as time goes on dst is becoming less and less of a survival game#which some ppl might like but its still a bit disappointing for a game that caught my interest because of the survival elements#its not terrible tho it just means that the devs have decided upon a new direction for their game to give it more heavy story elements#most of my main issues have come from how clumsy the change has been and how it very much means we're losing the original feel of the game#but original don't starve still exists so its not like I think its the end of the world that theyre differenciating the two more#anyways since the devs are clearly trying to make actual combat classes a thing within dst I think this completely recontextualises things#as in I have to throw all of my past predictions and expectations out the window and look over everyone again taking thin into account#since now theyve shown that theyre fully willing to make completely new mechanics for these skill trees including straight up magic#which reminds me god I hope they dont give wendy spells or some shit#I really really REALLY want wendy's skilltree to mostly focus on abby buffs and sisturn buffs#because if they dont thatll just completely fuck over wendy's whole playstyle and I desperately dont want abby to become obsolete#I also need them to give the sisturn actually good buffs like for the love of god pls its only worth anything in super early game#at Least make the boosted abby regen a worldwide buff it wouldn't even be worth using most the time still but itd be Something#also god Im so scared for walter skill tree. please have it not fall into the same trap as his base kit of being too all over the place#the wigfrid beefalo branch is what makes me worried since thats a very concept over function thing already#same with like. most of wormwoods skill trees#tbf they fixed at lot of the weird wormwood stuff and hopefully they'll fix the weird wigfrid stuff too#most of willow's problems just come from the bernie skills being too weak which is especially funny cause previously burnie was the only#notable stength willow has pre tree#I mean tbf burnie has always been the weaker support between him and abby (imo) so its not like hes been like amazing anyways#but willow is just such a nothing character that burnie is basically why you use her
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basically im gonna start just putting 'dni if you define gender categories as men and non-men' and move on lol. like just be open and proud that you do not respect multigender people and, more importantly, people whose genders sit outside of the western colonial gender binary entirely, and stop pretending. like just decide whether im a man or a woman to you personally and sit on one side of the fence. if you are unwilling to conceptualize gender without a binary in there - even a reinvented binary that makes just enough space for you but not me lol - then fit me in the binary. im serious. if you think "everyone is either a man, or a not-man" is anything but a reinvention of "everyone is either a man or a woman" but awkwardly shifted to try and add nonbinary people to one side, then put that framework into use and misgender me. i am actively asking you to. you do not get to handwave me away as just an exception to your good new gender binary, or to try and say i fit into both groups when you are literally defining them by being mutually exclusive.
decide if im a man or a woman to you, treat me accordingly. ONLY treat me as one or the other, and do not switch it up when its convenient for you. just misgender me. i think its kinder.
#long post#vent#sorry im still high and annoyed bc ive been saying this same shit for like a year or two or whatever#oh btw when i said ppl whos gender are outside of the western colonial system i DONT mean me#i am colonized enough that i have no sources on how my people saw gender pre colonization so im just stuck w the colonialist framework đ€Ș#my point is moreso that i believe people w cultural/pre-colonial/decolonized (idk which terms are best sorry) genders who also are impacted#by this forcible translation of their gender into the western standard only to have it then used against them#is particularly fucked up like. in a way that i dont experience#but yeah needed to spell it out like.#when i described the framework of gender which i believe is regressive and also cannot allow my gender in any meaningful way?#YES that includes men vs non-men bs.#if you agree with that shit that is binarist thinking which hurts other trans ppl and ppl whose genders dont fit that reductive vision.#so when i said 'people who will 100% say they agree w my gender but ultimately can only let me be my gender by crushing it into place'#n all that shit?#if you use that 'non-men' shit or similar stuff. i do mean you. i was asking you to consider that your view of gender is reductive#and rooted in binarism.#like idk how to make it clearer lol#if you are surface level agreeing but youre still going to choose to view gender thru this binary lens then misgender me.#its one or the other. but you cannot have both here. you cannot hold views on gender that are based in denying my gender means anything#while also claiming you respect me.#97
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cat hacker reintroduces mspec lesbian discourse into my life my brain obliterates itself in ocd-fueled recursive self-argumentation
#ânoones identity lives in a bubble and the self-id of others DOES effect broader culture and cause potential ramificationsâ#and#âjfc iâm not the center of the god damn universe and REGARDLESS of whatever petty semantic preference i have towards âmyâ definition that#doesnât mean shit for other people + the idea that queer people can be âinvalidatedâ or âexcludedâ is fucking STUPID that isnât how queers#work we arenât a fucking club we can kick people out of for not doing things ~correctly~â#can seemingly coexist in my brain but they keep biting each other#oh and in addendum to the first one âmy lesbianism is fundamentally disinterested in men as both ID and interest to the point that it has#can feel (<- FEEL) like active misgendering to imply its definitionally compatible with other conceptions of the word.#not to mention the whole âi canât even fucking figure out how my sexuality treats bigender people at all. like iâm consciously fine with#them from a like⊠impersonal framework but LUST-WISE it feels like dividing by zero. i donât know. fucking logic puzzle ass shit.â#ON MY END IâM FUCKING MISGENDERING SOMEONE EITHER WAY ITS. GAH. HELP#IT MAKES ME FEEL BADLY PROGRAMMED. CANâT EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE GENDER FUCKERY. INFANT BRAIN.#you can pry my ID from my cold dead hands and if you imply its bigoted or ~separatist~ in origin iâll fucking gut you. but also teehee its#just MY id and you can ID however you want just donât tell me how to identify sparkle sparkle~<3#but also my id IS mutually exclusive of yours definitially and WILL cause problems going forward from a clerical & organizational standpoint#homonym ass queer theory relied on by a fucking spineless little shit who refuses to take a hard stance for what she believes is right OR c#correct. the spineless coward is me. by homonym i mean the same word and spelling meaning different things to different people to the point#it might as well not be same word at all#âi think my definition of lesbian is objectively better and wish people using other definitions would please stop but ALSO if you think less#of other people for using other definitions i will beat your skull in with a rock you bitchâ is. what i boil down to.#âi think inclus vs exclus language is stupid and not how the lgbt+ community works but going by the logic i donât like the existence of the#ID but also literally almost all my bestest friends in the world are inclus on the subject and despite my semantic arguments i donât disagre#disagree with them. i still pray every night that i might wake up to a world where my actual opinions are unnecessary and my consciousness k#knows pure unchallenged peace thoughâ#while also recognizing that dream of personal peace by way of ignorance of the identity of others is pretty fucking selfish lol#i keep writing addendums. this can go on forever.
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Ohh im obssesed
#uprooted#uprooted naomi novik#solya#marek#my main playlists dedicated to them :]#idk why they cought my attention in 2018 and since that year they have had a special place in my heart. sometimes throughout my day-#i realise im obssesed with them and they're not just some random characters i like. ive dedicated a lot of time on them#i wonder how my interest in them will be when i get older. i certainly know that i will miss them if i stop thinking about them#you could say they have seen me grow. i knew them BEFORE quarantine. they were with me DURING. and AFTER#they have been through so many phases of my life. its so strange.#they changed so much too...except Marek. he still looks the same I imagined him in 2018. solya is definitely different tho#but i do think i have a different more in depth understanding of both characters#even if the words i read in 2018 are still the same now that i look back at the book. they were so many things unsaid but if u looked-#closely you could understand them. solya and marek as individual characters have so much depth...even if its not explicitly said#or maybe its just me reading between the lines too much. i wish i just knew more about them. this is getting so long-#but I got a bit nostalgic. is crazy how i was just a child and somehow even tho solya was just the total opposite of the type of characters-#i like there was something in him. something that made me look at him. and i think thats actually so in character of him#i think that in the book even if someone didnt like him. it was still hard to look away because he stood out from the rest.#there was definitely something about him that attracted people. or else how would have he gotten so far in his schemes?#I may be overanalyzing it. but i love the Falcon so much. and i do like marek a lot as a character. i find him very interesting. i know he-#did bad. terrible. things i like him as a character. not as a person.#i wish i could have seen what was going on in that damaged mind of his...#analyzing his behavior its so entertaining to me. i love making up scenarios where he is at his worst. im not gonna lie#marek suffering and then finding comfort in not comforting things is one of my favorite headcanons.#his obssesion with his mother is also a very important part of his character (ofc) and i love imagine him doing things related to that#thinking about the ways their personalities connect and make them have a very toxic bond keeps me up at night..they made each other worst#and we actually never see that in depth in the book. everything is so subtle but my crazy brain can find the signs in any part#i will stop this rant here. i feel its so long and if i made any spelling mistake i apologise to my future self (probably my self from-#tomorrow) because i know i won't be able to fix the misspelling and that will stress me SO MUCH.#future self please dont stress about it. just be happy. and enjoy thinking about these insane characters
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one thing I dislike about the extended edition is that the added characters are voice-acted in english and no other translation as far as I know
#bg1#im playing the polish translation because thats what i played when i was little and im sentimental#it still sounds just as good... better than english imo. but that might just be me and my fond memories haha#when i was little i played a half elf mage (i think) and i stopped at the big ass towers because it was beating my ass#and now i can play on my own laptop in my own game and its very fun coming back to this wolrd after all this time#so im playing an elf ranger. very cool!#just. the extended characters really take me out of the world and the game and the atmosphere and its jsut weird#i think theyre pretty cool! i kmow that if played in english id probably like them!#but so far.... eh#also ive heard some english speakers pronounce the npc names and sorry they just sound better in polish#ya-heir-a (i think thats how i can spell it) sounds better than 'jaheira'. same with dynaheir and like. hm#there were some other names but i cannot remember rn. edwin for sure#well todays round of complaining is over. thanks for listening#baldur's gate 1#my faveee#one of my very early memories was watching my dad play it. im a generational gamer i suppose
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So, there's a lot I want to say about the paralypics, but every time I try I just... can't articulate what I want to say without it turning into a monster of a post that puts my writing advice posts to shame lol. This includes in response to the anonymous asks I got on the topic btw. So I'm going to try and summarise my thoughts here.
As someone who was working towards the Rio paralympics - who was basically one of the people they were actively training to be the next paralympians and who got to go if their choice first athletes had to drop out, the Olympics and paralympics are a... touchy subject for me. I loved playing. I loved my sport. I loved the people I played with. I loved the people I played against. But the way the public and people in power treats disabled athletes sucks. It Really really sucks. and it hurts to talk about.
The vast, vast majority of us aren't paid. We are expected to train at the same intensity as the Olympians with none of the breaks and none of the support to do so, resulting in injuries that are disabling in and of themselves, while juggling normal jobs. many of the paralympians are also in school or at university as well. both schools and jobs see these elite athletes as dedicated hobbiests at best.
I had a friend who were fired from their job because they were denied time off to compete at the paralypics and well, if i had to choose between the paralympics or stay at a shit job paying minimum wage, I know which one I'd pick, and so she didnt have a job when she came back. I have friends who are still in the closet because their sponsors would drop them if they came out as gay, who ended years-long relationships to keep the funding that allowed them and their teams to compete - funding that just covered the costs of travel by the way. They never saw a cent of it themselves, but it was the difference between us having to pay $50 each for our plane tickets and accommodation and having to pay $2,000Aud + for every away game. I have friends who were supposed to go to Tokeyo but were kicked off the teams weeks before the games because of a rule change that decided they weren't disabled enough anymore, wasting years of work with absolutely no warning. They weren't even given the decency of an appology from the people who made the call. Several went through terrifying mental health spirals over it. It was their life's work, gone. I saw so many friends just give up because their disabilities were "too hard to classify" into the International Paralympic Commity's boxes and who were made to feel they weren't welcome by the system spouting off about its diversity and inclusion and empowerment of disabled people.
And then with all that, the best we can hope for is for the social media teams to turn us into a joke for ableds to laugh at or into inspiration porn to make them feel good about themselves - because at least theyre not us. Because obviously, there are no other options in how to show us/sarcasm.
My phone doesn't even have "paralympics" as a recognised word. I have a Samsung. The company that is currently at the paralympics using them as a marketing opertunity. We aren't even recognised as a word in the phones made by the company that is currently using the paralympics as a marketing opportunity. The phones they're giving the athletes won't even recognise the name of the event that they got it at. If I've spelt it wrong, it's because it autocorrects it every time I try to spell it right, and im dyslexic and can't see the difference until I stare at it for a minute or so.
I just... this isn't even scratching the surface of my thoughts. But I wanted to say at least some of it. It will be the last I'm going to talk about it, at least until the event is over.
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urgh. im gonna vent about smth stupid to avoid my actual problems
#wheeltext#IM LEARNING TO PLAY THE OCARINA#its awesome and cool and new. bad news. i am too stupid to play the ocarina#i know several zelda songs and i have pieces of other songs memorized but im javing trouble moving from tabs to sheet music#i cant read sheet music very fast and i keep having to stop and use mnemonics so i get frustrated and give up#but i cant improve if im playing the same 10 or so things all the time#there arent a ton of resources and nost of them are either too academic for me to parse or unhelpful#what the fuck is a time signature okay how do i remember it ok how does that relate to the notes son of a bitch im going to eat my ocarina#i might have to get into final fantasy just so i have something else to play bc all the fuckin tabs are loz or ff#i have an alto c (good-ish quality the high notes are airy and squeaky) and a p good quality soprano (hurts my ears)#but what i really wanna get is the fuckin. double oc#triples are really expensive and i dont really want one but a double chamber....my sweet potato grail#also im p sure theres only one thumb hole on the one i. looking at fucking SCORE!!! im sick of olaying#thumb hot potato#but i cant justifying like a 130 dollar purchase if im gonna fuckin commit to learnin it which means i gotta know what a scale is and a#keys and a aaaasrgrhgg#im just stressed out anyway everything will be fine later but now always sucks#im not fixing the spelling
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