#its almost 3am wtf am I doing

[pixelatedraindrops]

Decided to try to use this picrew to challenge myself to make some images of the Rain Code Cast all being ill.

The hand assisting them is Yakou bc he's the caretaker for them all. Except Halara bc they don’t need help lol

And I also made one of Makoto being a dumbass overheating in his hot tub, and bc I love him and he must suffer too (and so the image number could be even xD)

[thegeminisage]

back at it in zelda. i complain about the western half of the map but one region i do really like is tabantha, esp around the canyon. everything is very tall and pretty. im grabbing a few korok seeds here while i do shrines as a treat before i move on to satori mountain

flame gleeok where the "stop following me" memory was!! at least i'm equipped to fight them now

i figured out why flame armor doesn't work. you need hot weather armor ie gerudo clothes. wtf

TUNIC OF AWAKENING!!! gr8 reward

SHOOTING STAR!!!!! i didnt see it fall but i can see the light tower from here. it landed directly on the peak of satori mountain and i have no way to fast travel there. it's almost 3am, even with the bike there's no way i can make it. ugh!!! :(

geez i forgot how good the foraging was here. so many mushrooms......

wah. the ruins at the little horse shoe shaped area with the statue. there was a memory here too iirc!

wait...there's water flowing here! wasn't it dry in the last game?? wtf zelda has been at work restoring things AAAAAA

satori mountain cave is cool as hell. all these little guys running around and every time i think i've got to the end there's more of it. i keep going the wrong way on purpose so i can see everything lol

okay! i did some math and if i wanted to get every shrine and still have time to beat the game before pikmin 4, i'd need bare minimum to get 3 shrines per day. but i want FOUR shrines per day so i also have a bit of time to fuck around. today i've gotten the two on satori mountain and it is OFFICIALLY cleaned out. i didn't plan to get all the korok seeds, but they were RIGHT THERE, so.

not sure what shrines im getting next...maybe the horrible hand one by the tower just to get it out of the way lol. i can't believe i walked past those hands 3000 times w/o knowing they were close by. augh

break for now for Stuff tho.

break over. going to the scary shrine before i can chicken out :(

lindors brow cave, for the curious

im so scared im so scared Im So Scared

ok. the good news is. i think if i fly over this Big Pit That Looks Like An Arena i'll miss them. the bad news is. i don't get my frog if i do that. so i gotta spawn them and THEN run. i don't get out of this without spawning them.

AAAAAAAAAGH I DONT WANNA. ok. here we go.

spawned them by ACCIDENT while flying over. good fucking god. im waiting for them to despawn now but its taking forever. idw fight them bc then they'll just spawn phantom ganon

well. they are not leaving.

i'm not going down there. fuck that. i'm shooting them from up here til phantom ganon shows up to kick my ass

SOLO'D THAT MOTHERFUCKER WITH A LYNEL BOW AND BOMB ARROWS!!!!! BUDDY YOU AIN'T SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my hands are shaking. that was horrible. oh my god

ok. wheres that damn frog.

at least its a raurus blessing shrine. imagine having to do all that and THEN they hit u with puzzles

you know though i feel really lucky in some respects though bc. there are places on this map that indicate hand presence. and i remember being in those places and not running into hands there. a brush with fucking death and i didn't even know it

like i swear i walked RIGHT over their spawnpoint in maritta exchange ruins and...nope. nothing.

the biggest chunk of ground shrines i havent gotten yet are in hebra or gerudo desert, both areas i HATE bc of the walking speed debuff. might as well swipe a few more hebra ones and make it easier for future me

oops, i did this shrine quest out of order, i killed a talus which had a crystal on it and now i have to take it to a shrine which means dragging it behind me while i explore this whole cave. smh. at least i can cheat with my map to tell me where the shrine was tho lol

wtf how am i supposed to get it up this big tunnel...dont say hot air balloon.......

(im using a hot air balloon)

THE AIR CURRENT FUCKS WITH MY BALLOON

this is so harrowing. this is the worst cave, oh my god

ANOTHER vertical air column? for the love of god

i guess i have to make another balloon. i only have 1 floating platform and im saving it for worse emergencies than this :/

wait. i think i just went in a big circle?? IS THE SHRINE NOT IN THE CAVE?

oh my god it LITERALLY wasnt in the cave i dragged it around that whole time and made those annoying wonky hot air balloons for NOTHING!!! the beam didnt show up until i tried to pick it up with my hands (which didnt happen until near the end of the cave exploration), so i just assumed...

jesus goddamn christ. fucking bullshit lmao i'm an idiot

OKAY. shrine get.

another shrine which was some eventide bullshit. i wish you could keep the items from those i want arrows :(

ANOTHER BREAK.

ok. im back. gonna see whats in that big fuckoff hole (my map says a shrine)

i always feel so bad for addison when i find him in rough climates. he's shivering!! go home, buddy!!!

this froggy armor fucking sucks. i've got the whole set and i still slip on the ice >:(

ok, i got...5?? 6?? shrines today so well ahead of schedule lol. tomorrow i'm doing ANYTHING but hebra

[tsuy4n]

Chaotic dumbass x (chaotic) Smartass / Moron x Genius (both still chaotic)

[Leo] >Donnie< [Raph] [Mikey]

[Y/n]: Dee!

Donnie: Yes?

[Y/n]: Wanna see a butterfly?

Donnie: Wh–

[Y/n]: *throws butter across the room*

Raph: *passing by only to see a butter getting thrown and almost hit him* ???

Mikey and Leo: *wheezing on the floor* THAT WAS GOLD!

Donnie: *shaking head while leaving* You're all dumb dumbs.

—

[Y/n]: I wish I was a jellyfish. Just float around while looking all pretty.

Donnie: Jellyfish have no brains, therefore you are close to being one.

[Y/n]: Really? That's aweso– are you calling me stupid?

Donnie: *nodding* My point exactly.

—

[Y/n]: I couldn't sleep last night.

Mikey: *smiles cutely* They say that if you can't sleep someone's thinking about you.

[Y/n]: Who the fuck is thinking about me at 3 AM??

Donnie: [Internal panic]

—

[Y/n]: I just finished a 50-bit puzzle. It took four weeks.

Donnie: Four weeks? That's long.

[Y/n]: You think? On the box, it says 2-4 years.

Donnie:

—

[Y/n]: So, what's Donnie's type?

Leo: [h/c], [e/c], [clothing pref.], oblivious, good sense of humor, cute, and funny.

[Y/n]: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we're just friends.

Leo: Did I mention oblivious?

[Y/n]: Yeah, why?

Leo: Okay, just making sure.

—

Donnie: When I said 'bring something from the coast', I meant seashells or something.

[Y/n]: *struggling to hold a seagull* How was I supposed to know!

—

Donnie: I've been keeping an eye on [Y/n].

Raph, Leo, Mikey: *shares a look*

Leo: You mean stalking them.

Donnie: The language of most stalking laws is pretty vague. I like to think of myself more as a guardian angel.

—

Raph: Is something wrong with Donnie? He's been laying on the floor in the kitchen for fifteen minutes, and Mikey's not looking too happy about it.

Leo: Oh, he's just a little overwhelmed.

Raph: Why? What happened?

Leo: [Y/n] smiled.

—

Donnie: Are you lying?

[Y/n]: That depends on your definition of lying.

Donnie: It– Its defined as not telling the truth. We've been through this. How else would you describe it?

[Y/n]: Reclining your body in a horizontal position, usually on a bed or couch.

Donnie: ...

[Y/n]: ...

Donnie: Get out.

[Y/n]: Fair.

—

Donnie: *on 17 different types of energy drinks at 3am, finished making a new invention.* I am fire. I am embers. I am flames. I am DEATH.

[Y/n]: *is having a sleepover at the lair, woke up to the sound of maniacal laughter* A fucking nightmare is what you are. Jesus, dee. Go to sleep.

—

*on their first date*

Donnie: *already knows but is a nervous wreck atm* So...what's your favorite color?

[Y/n]: *unimpressed* Really? Don't ask me dumb questions.

Donnie: How is fomic acid prepared in a lab? Give me the chemical reaction for it.

[Y/n]: [f/c]. My favorite color is [f/c]...

—

[Y/n]: *entering the lair* Heeey, how's the most beautiful person in the world doing?

Donnie: I don't know, how are you?

[Y/n]: *blinks then blushes* Gre–

Leo: *shouting from across the room* I'm doing amazing, thank you!

—

Waiter: How would you like your steak?

[Y/n]: I'd like it a lot.

Waiter:

Donnie: He means how you want it cooked, [Y/n].

[Y/n]: In the kitchen, obviously. Wtf is wrong with you two??

Mikey, Raph, Leo: [ w h e e z i n g ]

—

Donnie: So we roll, then summersault.

[Y/n]: We'll get caught for sure.

Mikey: Are you guys planning a heist?

[Y/n]: *shares a look with Donnie* No. Raph's asleep and we need to get past him.

—

Raph: Explain to me how you two got into an accident.

[Y/n: Well, we were driving and there was a deer on the road and Dee didn't noticed so I said, "Donnie, deer!"

Raph: And?

[Y/n]: Tell him what you replied.

Donnie: *sighs* "Yes, love?"

—

Leo: Only genuises can say these four words quickly: Eye. Yam. Stew. Peed.

Donnie: *Rolls eyes and scoffs* Oh, come on. No one's falling for that–

[Y/n]: IAMSTUPID

[cat5313]

In case anyone was wondering how I’m doing, it’s 3am and I’m looking up if my cat has the capability to feel love towards me while listening to a song that I used to listen to in 2014 when I was s**cidal

[krappykawa]

I read your s/o who likes to read hcs and was wondering if you could do the same request format or whatever it is you'd call it but with terishima,akaashi, iwa, Oikawa,and Daichi? Sorry if that's a lot! -anon

with a s/o that likes to read (part 2)

— iwaizumi, oikawa, terushima, daichi, and akaashi

word count. 1.4k

genre. fluff

note. i made these ones shorter than the ones in part two because anon requested a lot of characters and i didn’t wanna run out of headcanons to write,,, i hope you still like this though!

part one here

IWAIZUMI.

- will read the books that you’re reading just because he likes the feeling of being able to bond with you over something you love since you’re so supportive of him already (literally the perfect man. perfect bf. give me a kiss rn RN!!)

- maybe not all of them, but if you get him hooked on the description, then he will probably finish the book faster than you

- if he doesn’t like a book very much he’ll take ages to finish it though

- if you ask him about how he’s doing with reading it he’ll be like “oh i’m almost done” when in reality he’s only 20 pages in

- he’ll send you texts about the books you recommend but they’ll be super blunt like “this character just died” or “oh they kissed”

- you sit at your phone for 20 minutes debating on how to respond to those because HOW??

- he loves cuddles,,,, would literally die for cuddles

- so when you climb into his lap with a book in hand and bury your head in his neck as you read his heart literally malfunctions

- his cute s/o with their reading obsession that he secretly finds so endearing climbing into his lap for cuddle time,,,,,, his heart goes &2:$84!;💞💖💘💖💓💖💞/):&38,

- iwaizumi.exe has stopped working

- but he’s also not afraid to pull you into his lap if he sees you reading on the couch

- he’ll probably put on a monster movie and just hold you as you read and he watches

- probably also buried his nose in your hair and revels in your scent (also kisses your head every so often because he can’t help it and AHHHH HES SO CUTE)

- when you start sending him messages about your books, he will attempt to respond to every single text or he will just wait until you’re done and text back with “u done?” (not in a mean way though) there’s no inbetween

- he’s smiling every time you send him those texts though

- aoba johsai’s volleyball team (ESPECIALLY OIKAWA) teases him mercilessly if they ever catch him smiling at his phone in the locker room or during class or during lunch (basically u text him a lot lol)

- sometimes when you slam your book shut and scream into your pillow, he will just watch you with amused eyes and probably make an offhand comment that’s similar to “remember to breathe while you’re at it.”

- you end up throwing the pillow at him (which he catches and then proceeds to walk to where you are and swing you over his shoulder)

- get your mind out of the gutter on the “over his shoulder” part i swear he’s just teasing you for throwing a pillow at him (I CAN FEEL YOUR MIND WANDERING STOP IT)

OIKAWA.

- he makes an effort to read your books, really he does

- he’s just really busy, so most of the books he promises he will read stay only half way read through and never picked up ever again

- if you give him a sci-fi book though, this man will literally finish it at an insane pace

- literally he would be the one to text you at some ungodly hour (usually 3AM in the morning) because he just finished the book in one sitting and he’s literally brimming with reactions

- will text things like “WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST DIED”, “YN SEND HELP I THINK THEY’RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID”, “OH MY GODDDD I HATE THIS BITCH CAN THEY STOP TALKING” (always in all caps whenever he’s reacting to a book)

- you better pray that he doesn’t end up hating a character because he will text you every single time they show up on a page and complain about them

- “this character reminds me of ushijima why would you put me through this 🤕🤕”

- or “THEYRE TALKING AGAIN?? WHEN WILL THEY GET THE MEMO THAT I WANT THEM TO . ST F U ‼️😻”

- anyways, if it’s not sci-fi, it’s probably sitting on his nightstand and never touched again until you steal the book back

- CLAIMS he tried reading them (he got 2 pages in and then put it down)

- he is also a huge cuddler

- but you will not be able to read in his lap because he’s so fucking whiny

- “y/n-channn pay attention to meeee. you can read about that insanely hot dude in your book when you’re not already sitting in an insanely hot dude’s lap”

- big pouty face

- it works every single time and you hate him for it

- once you put your book down he will not let you go for a good ten minutes

- he also has tons of pictures of you reading on his phone because he thinks you’re so cute and feels like he has to snap a picture so he can remember how cute you looked at that very moment

- a lot like iwaizumi, oikawa will attempt to reply to every single one of your book related texts (except oikawa succeeds at replying to every single one)

- like you could literally send him fifty text messages in a row and you will get fifty replies back

TERUSHIMA.

- i am so sorry to say this but i genuinely cannot see terushima being interested in your books whatsoever

- he thinks that it’s boring and always questions how you can just sit down for hours on end and just read

- this changes when you give him one of those insane, mind-boggling, really dark, murder-mystery books

- he’ll scoff at it but after a lot of begging on your part, he’ll give it a try

- he loves it

- he told you that he never got bored and that feeling like that while reading a book is so weird to him

- that is the only book you’ll ever get him to read though (okay maybe he’ll read a few more if you beg him for it with that cute pouty face of yours that he cannot resist)

- like he’ll treat that murder mystery book as a holy grail and insist that nothing will ever top it

- i’m sorry again but he probably texts you “what u doing rn?” and if you say something about reading he’ll try to get you to do literally anything else (most likely will send a horny text to try and steal you away from your reading, let’s be honest here)

- “come over baby you can experience all that you’re reading in that book first hand 😏😏😏”

- if you send him text reactions of your book he will most likely reply with “awe babe ur so cute” but not say anything about the books in itself (IM SORRY HE’S NOT MEAN ABOUT IT THOUGH)

- cuddling with him while reading will never happen

- seriously

- he will do everything in his power to get you to put the book down

- like start peppering you with kisses or tickling you

- he just can’t stand sitting down in silence for so long lol

- he doesn’t put you down for reading though

- like yeah he might not understand it and thinks it’s boring, but he admires that you care so much about it and also admires your commitment

DAICHI.

- admires you for reading honestly

- like i feel like he’s the type to get really good grades but will not look at a book that he hasn’t been assigned to read for his life

- that being said, he probably has never read any of the books you ask him to read with you

- he’s told you he’s read one or two which is a lie (you know it’s a lie but you don’t tell him that because you know he feels bad about not reading them)

- he isn’t on his phone often so most of the time your texts don’t get answered for hours

- it’s kinda fun that way though because after a while you just start sending him long text threads and it’s like talking to yourself

- when he does respond it’s with something like “you look like you had fun there” (after that he’ll apologize for not seeing it and then ask if you had anything else about the book that you wanted to tell him about AWEHISHFNF)

- very good listener!! he’ll try and have a genuine conversation about the book even if he hasn’t read it (like if you want to talk about how you think the plot doesn’t work, he will either support you or give you valid reasons that sparks constructive conversation)

- will absolutely never see the texts you send at 1AM (until the morning) because he always passes out before 11PM

- will see them in the morning and will text back “well good morning to me”

- he has absolutely no clue what you’re talking about in the texts but tries his hardest to be supportive

- cuddling while you’re reading happens nearly every single time you’re together

- is very stressed from dealing with his volleyball children so he’ll more than happily sit on the couch and cuddle with you as you read

- sometimes he falls asleep while you cuddle and you just snuggle into him and it’s so cute

AKAASHI.

- THIS LITTLE SHIT

- man oh man he loves acting like a smart ass whenever you text him about your books

- you’ll be like “my favorite character just died!!” and he’ll be like “well tell them to not die then wtf”

- will stay up late texting you about your book though because he’s most likely reading it with you so you two can bounce ideas off of each other

- if you like a character that he hates he will not hesitate to start a debate about why you shouldn’t like that character (full one page of reasons. this man takes his opinions very seriously)

- if you’re together at his house or something and you start yelling at your book he’ll be like “y/n don’t hurt its feelings.”

- you momentarily pause your yelling to deadpan him

- he stares right back

- “just be nice.” (you’re like BWAH???)

- HE ALSO YELLS AT HIS BOOKS THOUGH

- it’s uncommon but it does happen

- if you’re both reading or you’re doing homework and he’s reading, he’ll slam the book shut and yell about how stupid this character is (and when i mean yell, i mean yell)

- and if he doesn’t like the ending of something he will rant for days and you’ll have to remind him to take a breath

- he gets so hyped up from reading books it’s so cute

- will read with you when you cuddle read (does that make sense??? like when you cuddle with him while reading)

- will mumble things under his breath while you’re both reading but you’re on his lap so you can hear everything and you just laugh

- one time he mumbled “stupid bitch just fucking die already” to this character he hated

- you had to put down the book because you were laughing so hard

[ectonurites]

Conner Kent in Suicide Squad/the Infinite Frontier era: wtf is going on

Alright lads hello I just need to type out some theories/thoughts about what’s going on with my boy Kon right now. This is more for myself than anything else (just trying to organize my thoughts) but since some of y’all like to hear me talk about comics (and some of this discussion has already been happenin in my inbox) I figured i’d format it and put it on here too! its like 4k words and written over the last few days mostly at 3am. sorry <3 

this is basically just me going like

Also fair warning that like, I can be wrong and misinterpret things just as much as anyone else can, like I use panels to support why I think what I do but a lot of this stuff is subjective/complicated to understand so like... in general somethings should be taken with a grain of salt, especially because exactly what changes to the universe were made by Death Metal/Infinite Frontier haven’t been super super clearly defined yet. Also sometimes comic writers make the most random nonsensical shit happen, so I as a fan am also allowed to theorize about random nonsensical shit.

But to start: let’s backtrack!

Many months ago when Infinite Frontier was first announced they dropped some promotional art, and I remember being a little confused because. Well:

(Variant Cover spread for Justice League (2018) #59)

(Variant Cover spread for Superman (2018) #29)

Notice how Conner is back to his Teen Titans 2003 look up top, but in his YJ 2019 look at the bottom? This seemed weird to me! But then they announced that Conner would be part of the Suicide Squad ongoing title, in the T-shirt look, so I wrote this discrepancy off in my brain as ‘oh I guess that cover was just the last hurrah for punk Kon’ and moved on with life.

In Suicide Squad right away we learn he’s very much so there against his will:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #1)

Which corroborates more or less what we were also shown in Future State: Suicide Squad, although admittedly it tells... a slightly different version of the events. When I first saw both of these together I just chalked it up to being a bit inaccurate as it’s shown as a memory in Future State:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Issue 2 we saw him in action with the Squad, trying to do his best to still be a hero despite the team, but things get a little more interesting in the following issue. It starts off with an account of his history

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

This page gave me a few immediate red flags, mostly minor things that had to do with coloring, so more irl problems than things to take seriously in-universe (Kon’s pants are the wrong color in the first Superboy shot, and Bart’s Impulse costume is in Kid Flash colors instead of the correct Impulse ones) but then also it just bugged me the phrasing “he joined Young Justice” when he was a founder of the team, he didn’t join it he made it with Tim and Bart.

But again, chalked that stuff up to just.... writers/artists being inconsistent/unaware of things that they should be aware of, or even Nocturna just not being specific with details. But it did still strike me as a little odd considering the very accurate use of villains in those same shots, Scavenger who was a reoccurring bad guy from Kon’s solo days and showed up basically nowhere else (even holding the Spear of Lono and everything!) and Billy/Harm (Greta’s brother) from Young Justice.

But then a few pages later we got this:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

Which is interesting. My first instinct was to think he’s being drugged w kryptonite or something thats leaving him hazy/out of it, but my thoughts on that have kinda changed, we’ll get there in a bit. But in general the context of ‘something’s wrong’ made the slight discrepancies on some details of his own history make more sense.

I also want to then bring up the next part to this story, the crossover issue in Teen Titans Academy.

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

So a few things. Does it feel weird to anyone else that Conner Kent, a known previous Titan who literally has a framed picture of himself in a case there, would set off alarm sensors like that? Wouldn’t he be... recognized as a Titan not an intruder by their sensors? Interesting! Anyways.

He looks really pained looking at that picture, and sad, and almost frustrated, which ya know makes sense and hurts my heart because he misses them! He misses his friends and being happy. 

But, importantly for a criticism I wanna make thats less theory related and more just me bein annoyed at Tim Sheridan, that’s a picture of Conner. Right there. That’s Superboy, on display at Teen Titans Academy, so the people who frequent this building would know who he is and what he looks like and be able to recognize him, he’s even in the same outfit and everything. Alinta recognized him at the end of Suicide Squad #3. 

So why does only one person during this big fight then comment on his presence?? Why doesn’t it get a bigger reaction???

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

And after the fight we don’t see any on panel moment of Wallace going up to the staff Titans (who weren’t present for the fight) and saying like “HEY NIGHTWING UHHH SUPERBOY WAS WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD?” we just see him talking with his friends upset about Crush leaving. We see Alinta talking to them but we don’t see the exact dialogue. So I do just wanna take the writer by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and ask WHY because that just feels like... something you’d wanna address on panel! This is like the first time since joining the squad that Kon’s at all in contact with people from his life before Waller got involved, I feel like not addressing those people’s reactions to it/not discussing it at least a little bit on panel (especially when Conner CAME UP in the previous TTA issue, Dick brought him up and everything!!!) is a really odd choice. Maybe it’ll happen next issue and i’m just impatient, but who knows. Anyways, gripes with Sheridan aside, lets move on.

I wanna bring up how Conner... doesn’t really respond to Wallace’s question? At all? Except to just fight him off, not even an attempt at a ‘Sorry’ or anything? (the ‘Ha! That all you got?!’ seems to be coming from Culebra not Conner, although the placement of the bubble is vague enough it could be that it was supposed to be Conner? but it seems more like what she’d say, especially as she’s grabbing Emiko like that) That just feels weird. It feels off. In general he speaks so little in Suicide Squad #3 and this issue. Tbh it almost feels like he doesn’t really recognize Wallace which I mean I suppose they never exactly met (they would have theoretically during Death Metal, basically all past/present Titans were together for a while during that), but Kon’s been back in existing long enough he’d have a sense of who current heroes are anyways.

But right, so, lots of little things that feel weird... that gets us caught up to the most recently released comics... but in this household we look at solicits as they drop. Which gives us some info on what’s coming up a few months ahead of time, albeit without full context obviously. Issues #4 and #5 don’t mention Conner in their descriptions or show him on the covers at all, because there’s just other plot things going on, so ya know seems things will be quiet for him for a bit.

But then we got the August solicitations and oh BOY it’s a doozey for him! And some things start to kinda connect perhaps!

I want to just take a moment to look at that specific wording. “The teen calling himself Conner Kent” I’m probably reading too much into it but that feels deliberate, like why wouldn’t you just say ‘Conner Kent’? Usually these kinds of descriptions are trying to keep a low word count, not add in extra words that don’t need to be there. It makes it feel like that’s a name he’s using that... doesn’t actually belong to him.

So the theory I want to propose (that has been floating around already) is that based on these covers and the description, and how the Conner we’ve been seeing in Suicide Squad apparently talks about his own personal history like he’s ‘reading a wikipedia entry’ and had little response to people he should be aware of like Wallace and apparently isn’t recognized as a Titan through a bio-scan and also bearing in mind those initial promo arts with two separate looks at the same time for him... I think we're looking at a situation where the Conner in Suicide Squad so far has actually been a clone of original Conner (like... like he’s Match 2.0 or somethin) the whole time, that’s just not aware he’s not the original. 

Now that’s the base theory I wanna work with and build off of, but there’s MANY different directions that could go in/ways that could work.

For example, one idea is that the Conner we saw in #1 who was chained up is the original Conner, and he’s been being cloned and held captive, so everything else with Conner in Suicide Squad so far has been this Match 2.0 

Another idea could be the original Conner in #1 is also the Conner in #2 who Waller had then commented wasn’t ready during the mission in Arkham and had zapped with a lil Kryptonite, and after that moment she took him off the field because his spirit hadn’t been broken enough to be obedient (as he was a lot quieter in Issue #3 & the TTA crossover compared to #2, and #3 is when the Nocturna thing with the history happened)

Or it could even be original Conner in #1, then in #2 was one clone that wasn’t ‘ready’ that after that point she stopped using him, and switched to a diff clone for #3, because like that first cover did show a LOT of clones. That could be more just ‘artistic interpretation’ or something, covers sometimes do exaggerate/mislead, but it also could indicate we’re looking at a lot of clones.

(Suicide Squad (2021) #2)

With all of those in mind I also wanna bring up this little bit from Future State Suicide Squad:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Again Future State is a ‘possible future’ so stuff from it isn’t set in stone, but the idea of ‘she still has his YJ 2019 outfit somewhere’ makes me think it could be something along the lines of like, Clone!Conner finds original Conner and frees him and he gets back his YJ outfit, which could lead to like the imagery on that variant cover/the idea from my very first part of this post where I was talking about Kon being shown in both outfits in different places.

Alternatively entirely from all that, another option is that she maybe got ahold of what was needed to clone Kon, but doesn’t even have the original Kon in her possession. (again with the Future State thing, she could be lying since elsewhere in Future State we did also see a copy of YJ 2019 Kon’s costume in one of the Jon-focused Future State comics in a display case 🤷‍♂️) Which could also lead to that confrontation on the variant cover & the promo art thing... and could also explain why we have seen nothing about anyone looking for him, because in that sort of scenario he wouldn’t have even been missing in the first place.

There’s a lot of possibilities! It’s still too early to solidly know anything, but I feel pretty confident we’re entering another cloning related plot with our Clone Boy so it’s... ya know. Clone time. On the one hand it’s annoying because god we have done clone/multiple Kons plots before. We’ve done them so much.

BUT on the other hand, I think it could be interesting to use this situation to tie into some older stuff from pre-reboot that I can see some connections to, because due to Infinite Frontier altering the world and people’s memories it’s all technically fair game storytelling-wise again (and like, the use of Scavenger specifically in that flashback way above, who’s not a super well known villain in general, makes me think maaaaybe the writer did do some of their Kon homework)

Something also just dawned on me that i’m not quite sure what it means but still is worth mentioning: The Conner here in Suicide Squad is back in his Teen Titans Vol. 3 outfit, and his history as he tells it stops during Teen Titans Vol. 3. And doesn’t... mention when he died? It feels like it... stopped before that, because like I feel if he was telling his life history (even the wiki version LMAO) the part where he died and came back would be pretty important to bring up?? And Nocturna specifically says that he didn’t explain how that stuff from TT Vol. 3 then led to him in his current situation. That’s a pretty big gap (like uhhh everything from resurrection until he got lost on Gemworld + all the rest of the Young Justice 2019 stuff?) So like.. there could be something funky going on here that has to do with that. 

Similarly when he flashes back in Future State: Suicide Squad to his past it also goes right from Teen Titans Vol. 3 to the current Suicide Squad run? Like I get it’s one page so they can’t show that much, but the fact that there’s now two places that flash back to that same specific time period and nothing past it until the Suicide Squad feels just... noticeable! Not concretely indicative of something, but noteworthy.

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Like...this almost has me thinking maybe it could be something where like, they tampered with his dead body and cloned from that? BECAUSE, for those of you who may not be familiar with how Kon’s resurrection (during Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds) worked, when he came back there was time travel involved! He was brought back to life in the future (like. Legion of Superheroes era) because it was a process that took that thousand or so years to work/heal him (essentially because of his hybrid dna the process that healed Clark when he had died back in Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen in the 90s just took a lot longer, but its the same Kryptonian healing chamber thing) meaning when he came back to the present alive again, his dead body was still also in the present just in it’s process of healing. Meaning especially if we’re bringing back stuff from before the reboot, Kon likely has his dead body just vibing out there while he’s goin around living life 🤷‍♂️

SO them doing something related to that could explain the choice to put him back in the T-shirt (since thats what he wore in the era his brain would be caught up to if we’re relating this to when he died) and why he’d recognize himself in a group photo with Bart, Cassie and Tim but maybe not someone like Wallace who didn’t exist back then. I don’t know, this branch of thought is still half baked. Will maybe come back and elaborate on this later. But I’m now really thinking there might be a connection to the early Teen Titans Vol. 3 era specifically because of it being referenced twice in stuff with this Suicide Squad.

ANYWAYS moving on, this is probably a shot in the dark and I only thought of it because I just was reading 90′s Superboy, but right away when thinking about ‘Amanda Waller’ and ‘Cloning Kon’ I was reminded of some stuff about the circumstances around the first clone that was made of Conner: Match.

(Superboy (1994) #35)

Match was created by an organization called ‘The Agenda’, that was after a while primarily under the control of The Contessa, Lex Luthor’s ex-wife, aided by Amanda Spence who had a personal grudge against Kon bc her dad was Paul Westfield the guy Kon was originally cloned from (before the Lex/Clark retcon). They were the big bad guys of an arc called The Evil Factory in Superboy (where Cadmus personnel got replaced with clones) which also then tied into the Sins of Youth event over in Young Justice (Remember how Match was posing as Superboy for a while there? yeah). After those plot lines finished the Agenda was pretty defeated (Amanda Spence was still out there and came back later but still) and... who got their hands on the remaining Agenda tech?

(Superboy (1994) #87)

Why none other than Amanda Waller herself!

If they re-canonized pieces of this (which also tied into Young Justice which ya know, YJ 2019 was all about re-establishing stuff from YJ even before Death Metal happened soooo) it would totally make sense for Waller to have complete access to the exact technology used to clone Conner before. 

Now, a thing to consider here though is what happened to Kon after he’d been cloned that first time, where his DNA got all destabilized by the process (and he needed to go through a procedure with Roxy as a genetic template to keep him together, which was how he got stuck at age 16 for a while). This was something where he was fine for a period of time before the side effects began to kick in. Now, I think it’s worth mentioning that was also back in the days where he was not yet Lex & Clark’s clone, but still Paul Westfield’s. So there could easily be a ‘now that certain Kryptonian genes have kicked in as he got his newer powers it doesn’t destabilize him the same way’ reasoning or something along those lines to avoid this problem. Alternatively, it could be an interesting thing to embrace rather than retcon away, especially if we’ve been seeing Clone Conner in action and Original Conner hasn’t been in our focus, things could be wrong with him that we just don’t know about.

Another branch of thinking that I think is even MORE a shot in the dark but could be interesting (or again even related to what I just said, could be a combo of things) is if this somehow ended up related to those clones that were reverse engineered from the remains of Match from the very end of Teen Titans Vol. 3

(Teen Titans (2003) #99)

All of them were then taken down with Kryptonite and killed in battle (by Rose & Damian) 

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

But like... idk man if Waller got her hands on those corpses or even just the data from Dr. Caligan that he extracted from Match to make them... that could also be a potential way to make some new Conner clones, and that could be why the bio-scan thing at Titans Tower wouldn’t work properly because of the thing he says above about it not being a “complete match’

One thing I don’t think is the case, but has been brought up to me, is stuff with New 52 Kon. I’ve talked extensively about New 52 Kon in recent weeks because I read through all his stuff, but the thing that makes me shy away from him being part of this situation is the fact that... he’s not interchangeable with Kon the way I think some people think he is. He wouldn’t visually be recognized as Original Kon because he is literally on a genetic level a separate person. They’d prob look related, sure, like they’d pass for brothers because they both have Clark’s DNA, but New 52 Kon has Lois’ DNA and Original Kon has Lex’s. New 52 Kon would likely look more like Jon, rather than Kon. Lois specifically commented in an Action Comics issue that Kon had some resemblance to Lex, even. So like, things like Wallace recognizing him or him looking at his own matching reflection alongside the group picture at the Tower... those wouldn’t happen the same way if this was New 52 Kon.

Now I think it coooould theoretically be possible for Waller to have gotten her hands on that future N.O.W.H.E.R.E. cloning tech that had been used to make New 52 Kon, like I wouldn’t rule that out. Because she knows where the remains of their bases are as shown in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #16-17, and like, Harvest is dead so she could easily just send teams out there to gather shit if she wanted. 

Onto some other things I don’t think are actually related but that I was reminded of/wanted to address:

I feel i’d be a bad timkon fan if during all of this discussion of past stories with cloning Kon I didn’t even bring up Tim’s cloning attempt stuff, but I think it would ultimately be unrelated. His tech was stolen from Luthor, and his attempts didn’t succeed because he was trying to build from scratch without Cadmus’ the data about how they altered the DNA from the original process. 

(Teen Titans Vol. 3 #34)

Then that initial cover for the annual really reminded me of part of the Hollow Men story from Superboy Vol. 5 just with like... Kon in a room full of copies of himself. I don’t think this story would be related either because it was more magic Tannarak stuff rather than regular cloning, but ya know. It’s the imagery.

(Superboy Vol. 5 #9)

It also really reminded me of the stuff from Hyper-Tension which was hypertime stuff not cloning but again just... visually.

(Superboy Vol. 4 #62)

In general I don’t think we’re EVER gonna see Black Zero or any of these multiverse Superboys again LMAO.

To try to sum up all of this in a way that might make sense here’s kinda a... flowchart of some of my main ideas for what the cloning situation could be/how the logic could work. Again this is borrowing stuff from across continuities because Infinite Frontier means theoretically anything’s fair game. (Also I don’t think I mentioned this earlier but I do mention it in the chart, but I think it’s also reasonable that Waller could get her hands on Cadmus tech if Cadmus is like properly made canon again. She just has funky government connections!)

Also I just now thought of this now several hours after I already made the chart and I don’t wanna remake it so sorry not incorporating it there but I remembered there was also that bit during House of Kent where Clark took Kon to the Hall of Justice and they were running some tests on him, so I’m thinking it’s also possible Waller got ahold of that data/that might be how she found out about Kon in the first place for this timeline. And they indicated that there was something wrong with him there, where he might eventually lose his powers or something, so maybe she tried to do cloning stuff to be able to have a copy of Superboy in his prime or something??? before that started kicking in. I don’t know, just more things to consider:

(Action Comics (2016) #1028)

ANYWAYS in conclusion: there is clone fuckery of some sort happening, I’m curious where it’s gonna go, and I just want Kon to be okay.

If you actually read this uhm. props to you bc this probably makes no sense to anyone but me its just word vomit <3 

[fi-chanwrites]

:o omg could i get some hcs of todoroki and kaminari and maybe aizawa with a s/o who's sleep schedule's gone all kinds of weird bc of quarantine? thank u!

AHHHH MY FIRST BNHA IM EXCITED.

Quarantine = No Sleep

Todoroki Shoto

Lets be real, this boy would keep the most regular sleep schedule

he is in bed for 11pm every night and awake for 6 am every morning

he would wake up and text you every morning to check if you were asleep. You never are.

You phone him as soon as he’s awake so you can talk to him before you sleep the day.

always fall asleep on the phone and h/e finds it absolutely adorable.

“are you not getting enough (y/n)-chan? That’s bad for you, you need to get regular sleep to function properly.”

“But shooooo, I don’t need to function properly... its quarantine”

“(y/n) it is 6 in the morning, please get some sleep darling”

“WE WILL NEVER SLEEP, COS SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK” Todoroki sighed down the phone, making you let out a giggle before yawning,

“plus I wanna talk to you more Sho, I’ve missed you” the little pout that adorned your lips made Todoroki weak, he couldn’t help but smile at you.

He saw your eyelids starting to close and heard your breathing even out, you were finally going to sleep. The cycle continued for days, you would call him when he first woke up and he had to convince you to sleep but it would be a bold faced lie if he said he didn’t love seeing your sleepy face every morning.

Kaminari Denki

We all know this boy is in the exact same boat as you.

Like he’s the one who’s been keeping you up til like 2 am on video calls

“don’t go to bed yet, I’ll miss you” complete with a pouty face and everything, like who can say no to that.

If you’re not talking on the phone then you’re texting eachother, texting “Good morning” even if its 5pm for you...

Both of you are vibing with bags under your eyes, living your best/worst lives

“are you falling asleep? its only 5am, thats weak”

“shut up Denki I’m tired lemme sleep for once”

You two would fall asleep on ft almost every night, like you’ll fall asleep and he just won’t hang up. He finds your breathing calming and it lulls him to sleep himself

“How long have we been on call now baby?” you asked him, yawning which just drove your point forward.

“ummm it says eight hours bumble bee” he smirked, already knowing that you were about to fall asleep again.

About five minutes later you were out like a light, Denki laid the phone near his pillow on his bed. All he could hear were the soft rises and falls of your chest as you breathed heavily. It was five in the morning on a Monday, normally the twoof you would have to be up in only an hour but of course quarantine ruined that.

He missed seeing you in person everyday, being able to hold you close and kiss you, but he would have to deal with seeing you through a screen for a little while longer.

He fell asleep, content with the idea that he would be able to speak to you again tomorrow, listening to your calm breath as his lullaby

Aizawa Shouta

Living with this man, he is so done with your shit, like he can hear you crying over anime at 3am and he’s just like “wtf am I dating?”

Will stay up with over weekends when he has marking to do.

Honestly relies on your ditzy, sleep deprived state to keep him entertained while he’s working.

You’re legit sleeping the day away while he’s busy working because you’ve been let off work completely for the time being.

He’d just be spooning with you, unable to sleep because you’re still on fuckin tiktok

man is ready to throw your phone across the room, he just wants to cuddle his girlfriend dammit

Aizawa turned over to cuddle into your back only to be greeted by the glow of your phone screen, and your shoulders shaking from your silent giggles.

“You should be asleep by now kitten” he mumbled into your shoulder, kissing the exposed skin slightly, his lips tickling you with each movement.

“Just one more... I promise” 

“(y/n) you said that an hour ago too, and you will continue saying it until its morning, then you’ll just sleep all day and I won’t have anyone to keep me company”

You sighed rolling over to face him, burying your head into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Fine I’ll go to sleep... I love you” 

“ I love you too idiot”

Tagging: @gulfwanq @happynoodle

[slaveformingi]

Midnight Adventure (M)

READER (y/n) X CHOI SAN (Ateez)

Genre:Smut, Car Sex, Public Sex(?) Word Count: 2180 words. Summary:  You were ready to call it a night but suddenly you receive a text from your boyfriend claiming to invite you on a midnight adventure. Knowing San, that adventure will definitely be... breath taking.

(Author’s Note: Fix On! So my last smut (Seonghwa X Reader X Mingi) got almost 200 notes, wtf? Thank you so much guys! It really gave me more motivation to write knowing that there are people out there reading my work 😭 Anyways, I hope you guys like this one as well. I always thought of San as someone who would like to do public sex and car sex, so yeah, that’s where the inspiration came from. Enjoy!”)

##

“Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?~~”

You sang quietly to yourself as the melody of the song played in the back of your head as you walked around your room, tidying it up a bit. You sang softly, trying your best not to bee too loud since it was almost 1am and you didn’t want to wake up your parents who were sleeping in the room next to yours.

You neatly placed your textbooks on your table and proceeded to make your way to your bed, to catch at lease a few hours of sleep before you needed to wake up for school.

3 more days left till school is over and you couldn’t wait for it to end so you could sleep in and not have to worry about exams or needing to do any homework.

You were even more excited to spend the holidays with your boyfriend, Choi San, the boy who adults knew as the perfect gentleman. The boy who has a perfect smile (complete with an eye smile) and perfect manners. Little did they know your boyfriend had a devilish side to him too.

Your parents love him. They were smitten for everything he did. He would always bring you home on time and never stopped acting like a gentleman when he was with your family. As good as that sounded, your parents didn't know what was happening behind their backs. They didn’t know the fact that he would sneak in your room before your dates and do things they wouldn't approve.

You were convinced that San was the spawn of satan masked as an angel. Whenever he was around your parents he would dress as a young gentleman with a bright future plan, but when he was alone with you, and not naked (which was very rare) he would dress like a goth rock star that was ready to rob a bank and fuck his girl. But despite all that, you still couldn't help but love him with all your heart.

You picked up your phone that was on your nightstand and to your surprise, you did not received any texts or calls from him in the last few hours, which was weird since he was a night own and there was no way he would be asleep right now. You shrugged it off and went into your bathroom to change into your PJs and do your night routine (washing your face, brushing your teeth, etc.)

As you got out of the toilet, ready to go to bed, you heard a notification sound from your phone. You unlocked your phone and saw that you got a text from your beloved boyfriend;

{ Ready for a midnight adventure baby girl? 😘 }

You were confused. Midnight adventure? What did he mean by that? Did he meant to send that to someone else? If yes, he needed to give you a big explanation since you were the only person he was allowed call baby girl. But you decided to just go along with it. { Excuse me sir, but I don’t think my boyfriend would be fine with going with on a midnight adventure with a stranger. }

You sent him, hoping to tease him a little.

{ Screw that asshole, come outside. Your Prince Charming is waiting for you. Better be quick before your parents notice me. } You let out a smile, quickly you undressed yourself and stuffed your blankets with pillows making it look like you were in it, just in case your parents decide check in on you. 

You slipped on a hoodie and some shorts and made your way downstairs, as quietly as possible. You headed over to the front door, accidentally tripping on one of our shoes. You cursed under your breath. You open the door carefully and slipped out of the house.  Once you were finally out of your house, you ran over to your boyfriend who was waiting for you, leaned against the hood of his car. You felt like you were int a typical teenage girl movie, the one where they sneaks out in the middle of the night to meet the bad boy.

You rushed into his arms, your body crashing into his. San wrapped his Hans around your body, holding you closer to him as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. The fresh night air hit your skin, which sent a shiver run down your spine.

“What made you come here so late?” you whispered, hoping not to make too much noise “Am I not allowed to see my girlfriend?” San said as he looked at you, as he gave you an innocent face. You squinted your eyes, you knew he wanted something from you.

“What do you want San?” “Nothing, I just wanted to see my girl.” “San...” you said with a warning tone. “Okay, okay. You got me. I’m horny and I couldn't stop thinking about having your body against mine.” he admitted as his hand slid down your back and onto your ass which fit perfectly in his rough hands. He gave your ass a little squeeze as he nuzzled his face into your neck. You felt his hot breath on your cold skin, you couldn't believe that he came all this way just to get laid.  “Why couldn't you wait till tomorrow or just come upstairs like last time?” you said as you pushed yourself away from him. A groan left his lips as he quickly pulled you back against his chest kissing you deeply. “Don’t you remember what happened the last time I snuck into your room?” Your mind suddenly went into flashback mode to the time San decided to sneak into your room at 3am to have some “fun”. You were a moaning mess and your parents walked in on you, but you were lucky, San was quick enough to hide in your closet. You had to explain to your parents that you were having a bad dream.

“Oh yeah.” you said remembering what had happened. “But that doesn't mean that you can call me whenever just too fuck you in your car. What am I? Your sex toy?” you said as you left little punches on his chest. “You aren't baby girl, but you make me feel soooooo good and I really need you right now.” he said with his puppy eyes. “Please baby, just this one time. Pleaseeeeeee.” You haven't seen him begged for you before and you liked it, it made you feel powerful. Plus, it was hot seeing your boyfriend all tensed and flushed up by the sexual frustration that you caused him.

“Alright, just this one time.” Before you could say anything else, his lips crashed into yours, a small moan escaped your lips, allowing San to slip his tongue into your mouth, flicking it against your own tongue causing you to moan into his mouth. San pulled back causing you to whine.

“There’s more where that came from baby girl.” he said smirking “Come with me.” he smiled as he moved you away from him as he left the hood of his car.

“Where are we going?”

“Nowhere amazing, just my car.” he laughed as he led you to the back seat of his car, your hands entwined with his as he unlocks his car with his free hand.

“And why are you bringing me to your car?”

“Because I want more privacy.” he smirked as he gestured for you to get in his car, you smiled as you got in. San got in after you and closed the door behind him.  “What do you want to do to me love?” you asked seductively as you made your way to his neck, kissing, nipping and sucking it, leaving small hickeys.

“Fu-- Fuck.” he groaned, he pressed his lips against yours, licking the seam of your lips as his hands wondered your body, his hands made it’s way to your breast and gave it a squeeze. You gasped against his lips, giving him access to slide his tongue into your mouth. You mewled against his mouth as you subtly grinned down on his clothed member. San let out a deep moan as he steadied your hips so that you could grind on him properly. You could feel your underwear getting soaked, you wanted him so badly. “Let me help you with that.” he flipped you, so that you were lying against the back seat of his car. San quickly pulled off your shorts and underwear at the same time. 

“Baby girl, we barely started but your already so wet.” he moaned, licking his lips at the sight of your juices dripping from your pussy. “I have an idea.”

“What?” you asked.

“Ride my face.” he grinned. 

“But I thought you were the one that needed released.” you said questioning him, he gave you one of his killer smiles.

“Making you feel good is a better pleasure than me needing release.” he said as he quickly adjusted himself to lie under you. You carefully straddled his chest.

“Are you okay?” he asked as his fingers drew circles on your thighs.

“Yeah, I just don’t want to crush you.” 

“Trust me babe, you won't.” he grinned lifting you onto his face. 

His lips immediately sucked your clit into his mouth, causing pleasure to shoot through you, your hands gripping onto the seats in front of you as San ate you out. He licked up and down your clit, collecting your juices on his tongue, causing him to moan against your pussy, making you even more turned on.

“San-nie, I’m so close.” you moaned as San flicked his tongue against your clit. “Let it go baby girl, I want you to cum on my tongue.”he said against you pussy, the vibrations causing you to cum instantly. Your head fell back as your orgasm hit you. Your body started shaking due to the pleasure you felt. San lifted you off of his face, letting you fall against his body.

“You taste so good baby girl.” he said as he pulled you into a kiss, you could taste your juices on his lips. The kiss became even more passionate and heated.

You moved your hands down to unbutton San’s jeans, pulling it down and leaving him in his boxers that were damp due to his pre cum. You bit your lip as you pulled down his boxers, his member slapping against his toned abs, finally released from its confinements. You held his dick in your hands, swiping your thumb over the tip, spreading his pre cum.

“Fuck.” he groaned as you lowered your mouth onto his dick. Your head bobbing up and down on his dick. He let out a string of moans and profanities as you deep throated his dick.

“y/n” he called out as he bucked his hips.

“Mmhmm?” you hummed as you continued sucking him off.

“Fuck baby, I need you now.” he whined, you smiled against his dick. You lowered you mouth on his dick till his tip hits the back of your throat, you lightly ran your teeth up his cock as you came up. “Fuck, fuck.” he groaned as he lifted your chin with his finger. “Stop teasing me baby, I need to be inside you.” “Please tell me you’re on the pill.” San asked as he swapped positions with you. “What kind of question is that boo?” you said laughing. You spread your legs enough for San to fit between it. “God damn, I’m so lucky.” he said as he sinked his cock into you. “So so fucking lucky.” he moaned as he felt your warm walls envelop his cock.

He waited for a moment to let you adjust to his size. You moved your hips a bit, signalling him to move. His hips thrusted forward, hitting you deeply causing you to moan out his name.

“You feel so good baby girl.” San grunted as he thrusted faster into you.

You hands tugged on his hair as one of his hands played with your clit. Both of you were a moaning mess. The windows of the car started getting foggy.

“San baby, fuck.” you moaned as you tugged on his hair roughly and clenched your walls around his dick, making San groan outwardly in pleasure, and pain. “Do that again baby girl.” he panted, his thrust becoming sloppy as you clenched on him again.  “San, I’m goi-- going to-- to--” you could barely speak, your head was full of lust. “I’m close too baby, cum for me.” 

A few more thrust and you came undone on his dick, your walls clenching tightly bringing him to his own orgasm. Each others names left both of your lips, leaving both of your breathless and panting.

“Fuck, we definitely need to do car sex more often baby.” 

“Sure,” you breathed heavily “Just not in front of my house next time.”

You both let out a laughter before San pulled you into a kiss.

[staysuki]

Oof all caught up with s2 of ehaloj

THERES SO MUCH TO UNPACK OML

Fuck somi first and foremost I've never been genuinely this mad at a character before but Jesus christ😤 got a stick up her ass and for what ???

Lemme move on before my blood pressure gets to high🤧

Jeongin and y/n ??? I never saw it coming tbh and idk how to feel about it😭 I mean get that dick sis.. but then thy broke it off, now they're not even friends which makes me very sad :(((

I really liked their friendship, revival arc pls🥺 and while we're at it revive her friendship with hyunjin I really miss him🥺🤧

Seungmin disappeared... idek what to say he just 🏃‍♂️ 💨 I mean as he should but I also miss his presence😔 I hope he's ok

Minho and eun-smth-smth (no cuz I actually blacked out what was her name? ITS 5 AM RN LEAVE ME ALONE) I am a shipper, they belong together, the stars aligned and nothing more could be said

FELIX AND YEJI WE LOVE TO SEE IT. Yeji's character development>>> I love that even though she changes she's still herself younno? Like I can tell her mentality has changed and matured but her core self is still there ig. It's hard to do when your drastically transforming within yourself so that's admirable

OK first seungmin and now jisung wtf-

I hope jisung is OK🥺 I'm gonna start missing him to if he's not back soon, I can't be missing 3 people my max is 2😭

Also I love how you made y/n flawed and also self aware and introspective, I feel like it made the story more enjoyable and realistic too, HOLD YOUR MAIN CHARACTER ACOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS !!!!

NO MAIN CHARACTER SHIELD JUST INTROSPECTION, CHAOS AND VIBES🗣

Also is chan OK nobody is checking up on him, I feel like he's slowly losing lmao💀

-🌺

JSHWJSHWS season 2 is a rollercoaster of emotions. it's apparent with every ask that's sent about season 2, cuz it's a rollercoaster as well 🤪🤌 i really did do it like that

and yes, somi was really a 📉📈📉📈📉 character. like, sometimes she makes sense but other times you just want her out of the picture again 😀

yeah, it's hard being in a secret arrangement with a close friend, they had fun but now they're paying the consequences, they're civil but they're not as close anymore 💔💔

and hey, hyunjin is still friends with y/n 😩 he's just more chill now.

the emoji pLS JSHWJSHSHS seungmin rly called chan at 3AM and was like "the airport pls" and chan went "ok? 😀"

more ships with minho and eunha eh? ngl, i wouldn't say that i didn't expect it, more so i didn't expect how fast it came 💀💀 everyone's just suddenly on board with this new ship for some reason

yeji honestly one of my fave character developments 😮‍💨 she was a two dimensional villain back in season one but now we get to see more depth and development. we stan. yeji is always a queen wbk.

yes so many characters disappearing 🙈 we even almost lost jeongin JJSHWJSHSHS i wonder who else would leave 🧐🧐🧐🧐

and yes. y/n has her own ups and downs too, she's navigating thru her new life and growing up, it's easy to get so caught up with everything but she's trying 💔

and yes 😭 srsly. chan always has smth on his back—somebody give this man a break.

[skelffricat]

Uppa (Mother)Hoods

I have never given birth, yet I have made three children. At the cosy NCT* group in the Ormeau Library, where I went with my first child (when I managed to get up early enough) I felt ashamed of this. The mothers there were Proper Mothers, with scars in their vaginas; tits out for milking; organic rice cakes for snacks; and great pride in their beautiful birth stories. They were horrific to me (the stories, not the mothers). I couldn’t talk about my birth experience without crying. I even made my GP cry, telling her about it. My eldest was whisked out of my unconscious middle in a now-derelict hospital in South Wales, while my legs were stirruped up (I once made the mistake of visiting the Erotic Museum in Amsterdam- the Sex Museum is better- whilst very stoned. One tends to be stoned, in Amsterdam, I suppose. The floors were confusingly slanted, giving me a sinking feeling, and the top floor’s “sexy” scene was a hospital one. Mannequins in stirrups do NOT turn me on. I had to immediately leave. I may have wept.) There was a student in the hospital room, with horror on his young face, gawping between my legs, and a nurse was urging the doctor to wait for me to go fully under the anaesthetic before he sliced my layers open with the scalpel. My eldest’s father had already been bade to leave. I think he signed something as he left. Signed our lives away?

I learnt later, whilst perusing my eldest’s little red book**, that her lung had collapsed. (I asked why they hadn’t told me. Oh, but it’s fairly common, they said. One in ten thousand. Not worth mentioning, really. Wtf?!) She had pooed in my womb (how rude!) and inhaled some of her own meconium. Meconium. Meconium. I had already learnt that word as a teen, from the band James, in their brilliant song, Gold Mother.

Then I had three friends- well, six, really- who had had stillborn children, at full term, and stopped feeling ashamed of how my child had made her clumsy entrance to the world, and merely relieved that she was alive and kicking, and proud of her. The biggest, reddest, loudest, baby in SCBU***. (“How will I know which one is mine?” I had croaked. Then, it was so obvious, I’d laughed.) I can also feel smug about not pissing myself on trampolines, or every time I sneeze, like most of the women I know who’ve had natural births. Perhaps I’ll start an Unnatural Childbirth Trust. Do your pelvic floor exercises. Now. 

TRIGGER WARNING: I am going to talk about teenage suicide.

Now my youngest child has died, by suicide, just short of her 15th birthday, and I try to feel relief that she is at peace, and that I got 15 glorious years with her. If I think about birthdays like the Chinese people do, I can call it 16****. Almost a woman.

I found her. She arranged that I would, I suppose because she thought I could cope with it better than her father could (she was right, of course. She was usually right. She was very wise. I miss her wisdom, and her unfailing ability to open any jar I couldn’t. She was strong.) I don’t know how to feel about that. People keep telling me that I’m strong, but it seems strangely shameful to be strong at this time (and I still can’t open jars). Perhaps the anti-depressants are working too well? I wonder. I worry that my blasé attitude to death made her decision easier (though I understand that it is pointless to worry about these things now. It won’t bring her back.) We tended to talk about death a lot. Some of my friends had died by suicide, and I would discuss with my mother, her granny, around the children, how suicide was no longer a shameful thing. How you shouldn’t say “committed” in front of it, because it hasn’t been a crime in the UK since 1961. It shouldn’t be a crime anywhere. We went to funerals in brightly coloured clothes. I celebrated dead people’s wonderful lives with them. 

She was hanging from the trapeze I’d had built for her, in our quiet back garden, from a hammock that I had bought for her. I had wondered about the hammock being out there in winter, and thought it was tied in a funny way, a few days before, but not done anything about that. I try not to regret that either. My logic comforts me thus: at least these things could be taken from the garden, and destroyed (the hammock) or used again (the trapeze) and I didn’t have to cut down any trees. I said to myself- she would have done it anyway, somewhere else, at some time. She did it with her things. She used to do amazing things on them. She could soar and swoop gracefully from that trapeze, and even the hammock got strung up high and spun from. 

I had been drinking the night before with my lovely Scottish lover. We watched Wild at Heart, and drank red wine. I thoroughly christened the new bright yellow carpet with a full glass of it, oops. Tried to clean it with a sock. My youngest child was baking in the kitchen. She made a vegan chocolate cake. At one point I went in to her and she was sat on the floor, looking at the cake in the oven. Her head was practically in there. When I was a child, we had electric, not gas, and I thought that people who killed themselves by putting their heads in the oven were cooking themselves to death. How did all the heat not escape, I wondered? How long would that take?! Those thoughts went through my head as I looked at her. She had attempted suicide before, around a month ago. We had been to the hospital. She convinced them (and me) that she wasn’t suicidal, and was sent home. I am not angry at this. What is the point in being angry? She is gone. She was a good actress. A cry for help? She had been to CAMHS that very day. I felt hopeful. She was making cake! She was going to try school tomorrow, in her own comfortable clothes. She hadn’t been for ages. She was too anxious, about uniform, about what to learn, about the future. I asked her what she was doing and we laughed about her proximity to the oven.

He and I ate the cake, later, with natural yoghurt. It was delicious. We called her to join us and she wouldn’t. The last time I saw my youngest daughter alive I was thinking about her killing herself, in a jocular way. Then she did. In a jugular way. Fuck, sorry. I find myself saying the most inappropriate things. 

Sometimes I imagine her last breath. Or dream of disembodied heads. I wonder did she change her mind at the last minute, or feel resolute, and pleased with herself, her escape? Did she make a noise? Did she call out to me, to anyone? I guess you probably can’t call out...? At first, the shock was so severe, I couldn’t think about it without feeling a massive surge of pure panic. I saw my face in the mirror that morning, and it was ashen grey. Later, my eldest described the sensation as a perpetual feeling of dread. Impending doom. Yes, I said, like we’re waiting for something horrific to happen! Then we would realise it already had. My heart thumped so viciously hard inside of me, it felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest. Proving its aliveness. Until I calmed it with (mostly) legal drugs. In the next few weeks, I liked to listen to hearts beating, breath flowing. People being alive, alive- oh. 

My lover had left that night, as he was to go on a walk early the next day. I am so relieved that he had. He has his own demons. He never went on that walk, of course, but at least he didn’t have to find her. He left at around 3am. Her bedroom door was closed. 

I awoke just before 6am. I’m not sure why. I expect I needed water, because I’d been drinking wine. Her door was open. The light was on, and I could see her bed was empty. I got water, and went to her room and saw there was a note on the bed. It was written in green biro, on an A4 file page, folded twice. There was a little cheeky red smiley face with its tongue out on the outside. It was a suicide note. Full of love. Was it a suicide note? So much love. It can’t be a suicide note. I started to look for her, around the house. It was still very dark. I was switching on the light in a room and looking around it and switching the light off and looking in another room. I couldn’t find her. I looked in some rooms twice. I even opened the compartment under her bed. I looked in the cupboard under the stairs, like Harry Potter’s room, that she and her friend had once shut themselves into, to see each other’s glow-in-the-dark bicycle helmets. Where is she? I thought. This is the worst game of Hide-and-Go-Seek ever! Perhaps it’s not a suicide note. Perhaps she has run away? I got dressed. 

Then I found her, in our dark and silent back garden. As she was on the far side of the trapeze to me, her feet were level with the safety mat under the trapeze. I thought for a second that she was just standing there, very still. I was still hoping it was all a joke. A mistake. One of our white garden chairs was beside her. When I realised she was hanging, I swung her slightly. This movement haunts me. Her face... her face was distorted. Her tongue lolling out. I hope you never have to see that on anyone. Especially not your child. My friend hanged herself years ago and my daughter’s face reminded me of her dead one. So, I was thinking, she is dead, in one layer of my mind, and in another, I was thinking, I shall save her. I was calling her, and caressing her freezing face. She was so cold. Dead cold. I ran into the kitchen, got a serrated knife. I am unsure of the order of things. Had I already phoned 999? Was I trying to talk on the phone whilst doing all of this? I cut rapidly through the hammock- it was easy. She flopped into the muck. It was so mucky. I was trying to pull her by the arms onto the trapeze mat, away from the cloying mud, but she was a dead weight. Dead dead dead. No help there. I couldn’t move her. She was so ungainly. I felt inept and weak. I tried to put her in the recovery position. Then I thought, oh wait, no, I need to do chest compressions- I can’t do that on a soft mat anyway. I kept dropping the phone in the mud, and the man on the end of the line was almost shouting at me. 

I put her on her back and was doing chest compressions and he was asking, “is she breathing?” 

She seemed to breathe when I pressed her. I thought, oh! She’s alive? I kept pressing, and dropping the phone in the mud, and I was all mucky too, and she wasn’t breathing- I was just pushing air through her- but I had a glimmer of hope, and the 999 man was counting with me through my mucky mobile phone, and I heard the ambulance coming, and I said to him, I have to let them in! and he said, NO! Keep pressing! I said, I have to, my garden is inaccessible, and I let them in. Two ambulances, filling my dark quiet street with noise and lights and hope. 

They took over. They asked for towels to kneel on in the muck. I’d never thought of that- I got them, as quick as I could. I paced, and watched, and walked away then watched again, and the cat jumped and wheedled around everything. Did he see her die? I wondered? Why didn’t you come get me, cat, like Lassie, or Skippy, or fucking Flipper!? She must have shut the kitchen door and kept him away. They tried and tried, and I paced. They did the defibrillators. Then her breasts became visible and I baulked at the indignity of it, whilst knowing it was entirely necessary, and just... human. They did the adrenaline shots. Four of them, taking turns. Is there any hope? I asked one. Not really, he said. We’re trying because she is young. She’s been there a while. At least I could feel less guilty about getting dressed. I kept thinking, why did I get dressed? I got dressed to go find my dead daughter. 

Was it starting to get light? It was going to be a beautiful morning, I thought, what a pity she can’t see it. I changed out of my mucky clothes. Layered up. It was so cold. There was time, while they tried to save her.

They tried for 20 minutes before they pronounced her dead. There was mud everywhere. They put the mucky towels in a shopping basket I had outside to light fires in. The ambulance people all told me they were very sorry for my loss.

I don’t like euphemisms for death. 

Saying I’ve lost her implies I could find her again. I suppose I find her in my dreams. Though I dreamt of different, unknown, children last night. Two little mixed race boys that I was minding in the (huge dream version) of the Carnival Centre. They kept running away and messing about. At one point we were all on top of a huge concrete topped lift (elevator), that lurched away from beneath us so that we flew into the air. It was falling faster than us. How is that possible? We couldn’t catch up with gravity. Griefity? We weren’t falling fast enough. I keep dreaming of losing children. Not children dying. I dreamt I lost my son the other night too. He was led into a room I wasn’t allowed in. I could see him through the window of the door I couldn’t go through. Then he went out of my sight and I woke up, shaking, horrified.

I recently found my daughter alive again, in a dream. She was very wee- three or four. Before her first haircut. She was being really bold and naughty. She kept running away from me, and she had pooed herself a little, and was rubbing the poo on things, half on purpose. I was trying to catch her and clean her and her hands. We were on holiday? Maybe on a big ferry? I think we had to catch a flight. She had run into a swimming pool room and climbed into a pile of boxes and upset the boxes, and pulled another little girl on top of her and hurt her too. I was trying to pull them out, without hurting them, without losing my temper. I was really trying hard to keep my temper. I was thinking as I woke, if this keeps up, she'll be taken off me. It was so vivid that as I came to, I thought, I must text the Woodcarver; I must text my youngest daughter, to see if she's ok. It was quite a while before I awoke properly and thought, of course she's not ok, she's dead. She's already away. Then I got upset, and cried, but I was glad I got upset because I've been taking anti-depressants and not feeling anything much, so it was a relief to feel sad. I accidentally hadn't taken any for a couple of days at that point.  

Saying she has passed annoys me more. Passed what? Her exams? Wind? (That’s always funny.) She has passed tense? She is past tense.

It wasn’t until she was pronounced officially dead that I phoned her father, the Woodcarver. I thought, there is no point in giving him false hope like mine. He made a loud guttural noise, like a wounded animal, on the other end of the line. It woke my son, who was staying with him. He thought his father was dying. Wrong relative.

It was a brightening cold morning by now. The police came. Her father came. He kicked the white chair she had used, and broke it. This satisfied and disturbed me in equal measure. He hit his head off the sink. I was frightened by him, despite the police presence. I was frightened for him.

The police were very kind. A man and a woman. The man was comfortingly camp. They had masks on. There’s a pandemic, it is said. They took their hats off, but left the masks on. No-one else really bothered with masks, for the next while. I was fascinated by the police officers’ dark green peaked hats- one for boys, and one for girls- on my kitchen table. I made myself tea and put sugar in it. I never take sugar in tea. I’d heard it was good for shock.

My dead daughter’s father’s brother came. He told me to phone my mum. I said I would wait until she normally got up. What is the sense of breaking your last peaceful night’s sleep early, to find out something that won’t be any less dreadful half an hour later? He had brought my son; my daughter’s father’s mother; my daughter’s father’s girlfriend. This is starting to read like Anna Burns’ The Milkman. My daughter’s grandma was also fascinated by the police officers’ hats. She said that one wanted mending, and she wished she had a needle and thread. I didn’t think to fetch her one. I asked if it is true that pregnant women are allowed to pee in police officers’ hats, but they hadn’t heard that before. I kept checking the time on my phone, every few minutes, and drinking sweet tea. I was waiting for the real morning to begin. Nothing has felt real ever since, though.

When I did ring my mother at 8am, she didn’t wake. My little brother did, though. He went and told her in person, and when she arrived, she was bawling, and had forgotten her glasses. She looked tiny. She was due to see everyone the next day. She had been quarantining as she was not long back from Spain. I deeply regret not bringing the children to wave at her in the garden. She hadn’t seen them for months. 

We were flitting between my house and our friends’ house round the corner. My garden was now a crime scene. My daughter’s father didn’t like this. He wanted to hold her lifeless body’s hand. At that point, I thought I never wanted to see her lifeless body again, but I changed my mind a few days later, and that was alright. I saw her in her casket and her face looked... Dead, but not distorted any more. She looked peaceful, I suppose, and very beautiful, in a sad way. She was surrounded by toys, trinkets, food she loved. Dried mango. Finn and Jake. Her elder sister tucked her pride flag around her. She hadn’t seen her for ten months. 

There were many people now, milling inside, and out in the sunshine, between the two houses. The neighbours were out and about, too. I had made horrendous phone calls to a workmate and a couple of friends and the word was spreading. I had phoned my eldest daughter in Wales. To spread the word. The bad word. The worst words. I have had Joshua Burnside’s song, The Good Word, in my head a lot, this last while.

“Last night I dreamed

We were running for our lives

From robots in the jungle

Helicopters in the sky

But the ground opened up and I

Couldn't save her

Couldn't save her

Couldn't save her again

Oh no

No sir

Not this time

Glory hallelujah.”

My lover came down and was of the utmost comfort to me. When the coroner had been and they were to take her away, the Woodcarver’s biggest brother- he that had been there first- came to me in the other house and asked did I want to say goodbye to her body? I said, no, I do not, that is not my daughter any more.

I sought comfort in words. We read poems on her bed. 

Various people told us of a humanist celebrant. She offered to help us for free, and she did, and I am so grateful. 

A friend gave me valium. At some point, someone went to the offy. More and more people came. The lovely camp police officer returned, with my daughter’s bank card, and people panicked, because of Covid, but he didn’t say anything. He only wanted to help.

The next while was a blur...

*National Childbirth Trust- it was the only secular one. I also enjoyed the ones in churches, with their cream teas, and knitted religious folks, trying not to try to convert you and yours. It perhaps could’ve been called the Natural Childbirth Trust, because they kept banging on about it...

**The NHS issue these red books as personal child health records. 

***SCBU- the Special Care Baby Unit. They pronounced it Skiboo, in their lovely Welsh lilts. My doctor looked like a child. She had been working for 24 hours straight, and was still charming and kind.

****Age reckoning originated in China, where it's believed that a baby's age starts from its time in the mother's womb. The practice is also common in Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Vietnam.

[deadontheinsidebut]

Angelllll helloooo i am here to bring some love into your inbox >:) how are you bb? I hope things aright for you （〃｀ 3′〃）i hope you're not too stressed or anything! I saw that you had a lot of slideshows to go through T^T don't forget to take breaks and to try sleep earlier (even tho it's almost 3AM right now XD) All the love bb 💝💕💓💖💗💘

HI AVIS BB🥺🥺 I always appreciate your little love messages because I love you toooo 💘💘 how are you so precious ljke wtf how can I compete BAHAH

But anyway ya so... I ended up not doing any hw or writing today 😗👉🏻👈🏻 but I did watch anohana and cried at the last episode BAHAHA I sent a whole ass rant about it to @kenmakodzu it was a mess

AND UGH IK EVERYONE IS CALLING OUT MY SLEEP SCHEDULE ITS SO EMBARRASSING I NEED GO FIX THAT SHIT 🙈🙈 I’ll go to sleep in the next 20 minutes I promise MWAH MWAH take my love you alr know

[typicalhippiegirl]

Let's talk about something.

First off, I'm not putting this messed up, peely, gross looking tattoo up for anyone to judge (I'm not happy with it either). I'm putting this out there to help others learn from my mistakes & hopefully prevent them from going thru what I've been dealing with.

There's a tattoo expo coming to town with featured artists from out of town. I find one thru IG whose work looks clean & I like her style so I DM her about setting an appt. Shes got time this weekend yay! no waiting for the expo. -Do you see the mistakes I made already? It's so obvious to me now😓

Saturday's here, I head to the shop (for the first time) for the appointment & the moment I walk in it's like Uh, wtf? Half the shop is taped off & in the middle of a remodel (no dust or active working, just shit all moved around). I brush it off, theyre getting things ready for an expo right? They need people tattooing there, not playing pool so ya, no wonder it's a bit messy.

Next she shows me the stencil and its fuckin huge. Like I specifically said between 6-8 inches max bc it's going on my forearm & i'm not Stretch Armstrong. Shes like Oh I kept it between 8 & 10. Well ya didn't fuckin listen bc what woman has arms that long? So it's resized & idk what we were casually talking about but she def rolled her eyes at me. Look man, I'm a pretty easy going person and depending on the situation I may take a slight without saying shit. Also like low self confidence helps with that right? So anyway, at the point I should have been like Alright dude, we're not really clickin & I'm not feelin this anymore & walked TF out. I didnt. Like an idiot. I'm not gonna lie, part of it was losing put on the deposit the other part was just me telling myself it would be fine despite in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't.

So we start. Yo, she's a Fuckin. Bitch. I wanted a theme right, this chick is supposed to be a Texas pinup, I wanted certain colors in her clothes. I asked "What colors are we thinking for her?" She actually scoffed and says "These ones" while motioning at her cups. Wow. Ok, well, fuck I don't want to ask her anything anymore so I shutup & go with it.

This shit HURTS. I'm not a pussy when it comes to pain. I have several tattoos, including fingers, toes and a whale that was particularly painful because it goes directly over my very bony shin. I've been cut, I've had a baby without drugs. Mags remind me of getting a razor cut and I find pleasure in the feeling. I can tolerate some pain and this shit sucked. Yo, at the end she switched down to a single needle and that was KILLER. I felt like I was being carved into (which, if you'd ever seen my back you'd know, I know the feeling).

Alright so finally we're finished & I roll into the next day. I'm a bit worried about the appearance and not just bc she looks like she broke her leg. It looks wet. I continue my aftercare as normal: antibac soap & aquaphor. Day 2 I'm researching infections bc it's super painful, red but mostly it's wet. I'm afraid of infection also bc this chick had the trash can right next to the station. I mean Right. Fuckin. Next to it. To the point that the trashcan lid fell onto the pad where my arm is. I want to ask her to move it but she's in such a bad mood I think it'll just make things worse & she'll be even rougher. By day 3 I've tried antibac goo & it seems to make my skin bubble where its been applied so I quickly quit using that. My arm hurts so badly at this point I cant put it down without getting shooting pains up my arm. I let it dry out so things are crusty but at least I don't find them medically disturbing. Regardless, I spend a lot of this day crying. Day 4 I'm still researching infection and come across overworked tattoos, scars & "hamburgering" My heart pretty much drops bc this is it, this is what's going on. What's even more fucked up is that I find this on forums for people learning to tattoo. Like apprentice's first few tattoos having this problem. Rookie shit, ya hear?😑

The pictures are from day 5. You can see splitting along the black lines, there's holes in the sun & near her belt. Oh and that's a thing. The hole is the sun is bc somehow a drop of green got in there so she went over it and over it and over it again with more red. Can you imagine my frustration at that point?

So look, I got this done Saturday, here it is Friday. My skin is very shiny and puckery where the peeling has come off. The scabs are thick af, I've only been moisturizing the places safe to so as of today almost everything but the cactus. Did I mention my arm still really hurts? I can't straighten it, there's pains that shoot out from the center, and why why why is my bicep sore?! I'm really worried about how the cactus is going to turn out. My skin looks bumpy between the cracks of scab. I think she used a crappy cheap green. I'm really left wondering about her experience as a tattoo artist. I'm just saying: My first tattoo was done by a scratcher in a dirty apartment bedroom. He did such a shitty job that I took the machine from him & finished it myself. Might I mention I was 16 and completely coked out of my mind? Also, I didn't hamburger myself and there was no scarring over that disaster of a tattoo (which thankfully no longer exists thanks to the aforementioned painful whale)

This whole thing has fuckin sucked. I don't want anybody else dealing with this. Let me outline some things I should have done differently so if you find yourself in the same situation you can make better decisions than I did.

1. If you're looking on IG for an artist make sure they also post healed pics not just fresh ones.

2. If you're not vibing with your artist it's ok so call it off. Look, a 60$ deposit aint shit to lose in the grand scheme of things, can you get a cover up for 60$? How about bad work or a bad experience lasered off? You can't get those deals, oh who knew? Sometimes losing money is saving it.

3. Don't get shit from travelling artists. Maybe they woke up a 3am & drove 8 hours & now they don't give a shit about anything but going home.

4. If the shop doesn't look great, walk out. Again, whats 60$ compared to your health and happiness?

This is a long post & it's not something I usually post about (lol who am I kidding? Personal tragedies are kinda my thing). It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed how she came out, I'm embarrassed I didn't speak up, I'm embarrassed I didn't just go to the person I knew could give me a good tattoo. It wasn't even about money, I didn't get a deal on this pinup mess. All I can do is move on. Thank goodness this wasn't my first piece or I may have been totally turned off from getting anymore ink. Now all I can do is continue my aftercare, hope for the best and when the time comes I'll go visit Vinny at American Tradition and get something else on the backside of my arm to distract from this mess.

Much love my inked up friends❤

Hey and if this speaks to you like you've been in this situation or are currently in it, feel free to DM me.

[nadiadlc]

my high school au (pt.2)

This time guys I’ll basically am setting the stage for all the characters in au and what they do and what they’re like :) I’ll be starting with mains and end and so on now, let’s get into this!

Adora!// junior

•she’s head of the student concil, which is basically the “rebellion” against h.h

(H.H is horde high I’m just tired of typing the whole thinggg)

•She has a dog she found! Yes his name is swiftwind.

•she’s also on the football team too

•she’s literally wears the same thing everyday

•At first when attending bright moon academy (yes that’s the name) she doesn’t want to be in any clubs at all because h.h basically brainwashed her-

•she’s that kinda girl to randomly text you asking the most stupid thing at 3am

•she still likes catra 🤭

•she’s the captain of the football team y’all already know.

Catra! // junior

•SHES IN A BAND

•AN EMO BAND

•wears cat ears because she’s a puss-

•is now the new captain of the football team because somebody ran off-

•distracts adora at like all football games and it works

•but is always put on the benches because of their coach shadow weaver, cause it be like dat 👀👀

•has naturally long nails, literally who even

•Blasts sad boi hours edits at 12 am

•she always gets the participation awards and is done with it

Glimmer!//junior

•rocks that pastel aesthetic cause she’s cute

•she has tried to force people to join the clubs but like it never works

•is also part of student concil, cuz obviously

•she grew up across the street from bow y’all already know

•once got a boom box and went over to bows window and blasted music like they do in the movies to apologize to him

•never talks to anyone before adora came

•started a fight because somebody was harassing bow. MY GIRL WON

•always in the office with her mommm

•she basically shares a locker with adora

•SHES ON THE CHEERLEADING TEAM

Bow!// junior

•BOW IS ALSO ON THE CHEERLEADING TEAM

•HE SAYS LETS GO LESBIANS WHEN HES OUT THERE ITS CANON.

•he lets glimmer paints his nails

•he calls everyone pretty

•volunteers at the pet shelter a lot because he literally loves it there

•crop top legend

•is in ap science because he’s a smart fucking boi

•He is pan and proud

•literally the voice of reason

•but he loves his friends

•even if they’re so dumb at times

Scorpia!// senior

•she literally makes catra best friend bracelets and it’s precious

•she has a kitten and it’s so cute

•she named it scorpion

•just a teddy bear

•gives the biggest hugs

•I want that hug

•that one scene in mean girls where that girl is say where she wish they just held hangs and just loved each other? That’s scorpia

•compliments everyone no matter the timing

•she could kill u but she’s a cinnamon roll

•she’s rich but everyone kinda forgets

•she rocks punk but loves pink

•she rides a motorcycle but would rather have those scooters things? What are those called?

Frosta!// freshmen baby!

•plays Minecraft with glimmer

•wears Gucci

•hype beast

•look at her too much and she will start a fight

•she’s a gremlin

•throws great parties? Wtf? How does she know this many people???

•is super cool tho

•is part of the debate team, cause she loves arguing:) and is super good at it?

Perfuma!// senior

•head of the gardening club!

•she has a lot of succulents at home

•she names them all

•vegetarian

•has the greatest skin care routine

•”plant friends!”

•really likes that Lofi music

•is that mom friend who has her crap together

•works after school at a florist place

•she is one those people who has those straws in those cases

Mermista!// senior

•super freaking chill

•will be that friend who talks to u at 12 am

•surfs

•constantly smells like chlorine

•she has a whole lot of fish

•says seahawk was a fling but she really does love him-

•and they are so dating.

•leaves u on read

•constantly

•never listens because she has he AirPods on-

•”mermista look out!””she has her AirPods on omggg-“

•super strong tho??

•she’s the big spoon

•she can carry people

•only hugs people she’s super close to

•BUT SHE GIVES AMAZING HUGS

•randomly quotes vines

Seahawk// out of school!

•okay he’s literally a year older (so don’t sue me-) but he’s always around at school because he’s mermista’s ride

•so he’s basically part of the of student concil but like he’s not

•he snuggles a lot

•he has a boat and that’s basically how he met mermista

•he’s clumsy tho

•gives mermista all these pet names

•almost cried when mermista gave him a hug

•he and bow like shopping together

•him and glimmer are super close

•has such a deep tan

<<to be continued!! I literally did this for a hour straight omg I start school today omg>>

(Pt.1)= https://pastelnadia.tumblr.com/post/186937653525/au-maybe-yes-pt-1

[spicy-ginger]

Haven’t posted in a long time, can’t sleep, & need to just put my thoughts somewhere

I have been sick since what I thought was January but according to my doctor, has actually been since December 1st of 2018 with bronchitis that just won’t really clear up and it seems to keep exacerbating my asthma. I am on my 5th round of antibiotics since then. I have missed 1 month of work. I am on prednisone for the 4th time. I had 2 good weeks where I was basically symptom free and I thought I was good, until I entered the worst relapse I think I’ve ever had this week, and my ENT referred me to an immunologist/pulmonologist. My lung function test was so poor and they were so puzzled with the amount of infections I’ve had that they ordered a chest X-ray to check for pneumonia that I still don’t have the results of because it’s the weekend and the office is closed and radiology didn’t send back the report, and they ordered some bloodwork to test my immune system to see wtf is going on. Also mentioned that I live with a chain smoker who smokes 2.5 packs a day INSIDE and they were like ..... “UMMMM that changes things! We need to start treating you like a smoker if you want to get better. You also might want to consider moving out unless you want to end up hospitalized for your condition. We are putting you on medication for COPD”. I felt like I got stabbed in the gut. I am just beside myself because maybe I wouldn’t be so sick if I didn’t have to breathe in almost 3 packs of cigarettes worth of smoke a day. And she still won’t quit smoking. She still doesn’t get it. She won’t go outside because it’s not convenient - her argument is that I should just leave the room if it’s going to bother me... except the smoke dissipates throughout the house and seeps into the furniture. She smokes in the bathrooms with the doors shut and we don’t have windows to air it out so I can’t even use the bathroom without it triggering an attack. The only places she knows she can’t smoke are my bedroom and my car because I have freaked out so badly but it doesn’t even matter because everything we own smells like smoke and it follows me into those forbidden zones anyway. I have two HEPA filters - one in my room and one in the room she spends the most time in, but she almost always shuts the filter off in that room because she thinks it’s unnecessary unless I’m sitting in the room with her... even though the filter can’t do its job for the rest of the day while she chain smokes while it’s off. It’s just so FRUSTRATING. When her best friend comes over who “can’t tolerate the smoke” she will go in another room or go outside but she won’t do it for her own daughter who is literally getting sicker and sicker every single year..... even at dinner she smokes while we eat and she blows it to the other direction but I STILL HAVE TO BREATHE IT IN because the air in our house does not circulate!!!!! What is it going to take for her to see that her choices are literally ruining my chances at living a healthy lifestyle??? Unfortunately I don’t have the financial means to move out right now but I am honestly working on it because I just can’t live like this anymore, I am not going to kill myself for someone else’s life choices anymore, especially for someone who is so unwilling to change their habits. I love my family and I love my mom but there is no worse feeling in the world than being awake at 3am because you’re wheezing and you feel like you’re going to suffocate and I don’t think it’s fair that I’m constantly blamed for “not understanding why” she needs to smoke in the first place and how it’s “not fair” that I can handle stress my way but that I want to take away her only way to manage her stress. God this is loaded with some bs

[angelblumes]

food ment. Helllooooooo ugh would you like me to beat her up perhaps end up like her namesake, og mischa?(jk im not a (cannibal)) time to bust out the therapy voice tho , you will find your people and they will love you. Ok. ok wtf is happening? are we like the same person or something? wellbutrin buddies ❤ my room needs to be clean and moved the whole sha bang but I cant😔 life needs to be lived and such. I hope you arrived safely and happily and that everything is slightly better for you than it was last message and that you didn't get too carsick. my power went out today for like 3 seconds everything turned off everything , it usually takes alot for that to happen for my house just because its old and other reasons that I dont actually know. I've had a jam out session yesterday, it was so relaxing 😌 🙌 danced my little heart out to them guys I told you about. There's something abt the murders in hannibal that just does it for me... the artistry of it all. I love it when we talk outside of the 5 daily things too!!! hey, did you get that 'you're so mature for your age' as a kid or 'you've got an old soul' ? whats ur thoughts on that? I personally cant really imagine saying that to a kid maybe its a generational thing? ok 🙄😁 I like commentary ive been watching reactions? on youtube its a guilty pleasure, also I've been getting into some reality tv. Wife swap is crazy I love it alot and then the dating ones because ofc. whats one of the 1st reality show you remember watching and not hating? Honey Boo Boo and I Am Jaz (I think?) were my top two choices of reality. maybe a rewatch is in order for me. ok daily things um a guitar got brought into my house today i... its very.. it made me weirdly happy I love music and its instruments. thank goodness tbh my med were just a little later than usual, the pharmacy gave me emergency 3 days for they can figure out whats up because this is the second time we are having the same problem 😅 I had the best brownie of my life, it was store bought but like from the bakery fav dessert. I got this "new" shirt on so comfy, its tie dyed splattered different blues with an astronaut and nasa logo in white, its cute but also like 3? sizes too big (its a hand me down) dont worry abt the guy if a next time happens ill be ready for it 💪 it will go down, I personally know the man's family I will ruin his life if it comes down to it (we live in a town idk if it's small)or realistically just sic my family onto him. I found out my cousin has a gf now and is apparently very much happier than she was with her ex man (who made awesome cheesecake btw off topic tho) gay people stay winning, I did not know she was not straight tho so happy little surprise 😁 jeez its a lot of words uh I hope you're doing good and you had a good sleep and other nice stuff happen to you and you had a good trip🌷🤟🤙❤

HELPPP u are an angel. thank u❤️. and right exactly. normalize thinking fictional murders are artistic or something . thinkin abt how i used to think criminal minds murders were interesting but never had the right words so i'd just be like "woah he *kills them weirdly*? cool"😭. BUT YEAH i did get that all the time omfg "ur so mature for ur age!!" like thanks it's because i have issues and problems 💀....hmm i hate reality tv HAHA. this gc i'm in was just talking abt wife swap the other day how crazy !! idk if i've EVER liked reality tv .... i like watching commentary abt it (like uhh cody ko's stuff) but watching it myself... nope😭. daily things lets see!!! i went to the baltimore aquarium:) i was exhausted tho. saw that a tiktoker i like (hello fem will graham cosplayers...) went there a few days before me. how funny! i wish we had met and fallen in love or something. i went to bed at 5pm yesterday and slept til 3am. then went back to sleep from 6am to 10am. i think my new adhd/anxiety meds are the cause. sadly. cuz they work! but by making me too tired to be nervous or start thinking too much🥲. i'm tired 24/7 already and thats not helping LOL! i had this fancy meal ok multiple fancy meals and it was really nice. i got chesapeake chicken (haha like chesapeake ripper am i right?!?) and it had crab but i'm crazy i'm crazy i didn't eat the crab. the texture was soooo bad. anyway at another place i got a burger bc i'm lame i don't eat seafood (besides shrimp. which i am allergic to.) and i ate almost the whole thing and my friends mom said she was proud of me😭❤️. i always feel so guilty after eating a lot and that made me feel good. i've started watching more vampire video game play throughs. what can i say. vampire masquerade: bloodlines did something to my brain where i like vampire games now. it's the same guy which is cool. i dont like finding new youtubers becuz i've never kept up w whose problematic or not... like what if i get really into someone and mention it and someone's like oh yeah he preys on women. wtf. like umm cry? is he a youtuber? is he evil? cuz i was looking for a pathologic gameplay and he had one and i was like hmm... he sounds familiar. he has probably done something ? maybe? mm lastly.... i read this hunger games hannibal crossover WEEKS AGO but it's just still on my mind. i don't particularly love the hunger games but it's only bc i don't really know a lot abt it. i enjoy it but i've only seen the movies and read the first book (until rue died. never picked it up again after that! i cried a lottttt) and there's like an absurd amount of hannibal crossovers. i guess bc hannibal would totally rule in the hunger games. like come on a CANNIBAL? the uh.. capitol? they'd go crazyyyy for that. the fic itself wasn't even that groundbreaking or anything i have a lot of criticism for it tbh but it opened my brain to the concept. i have another one opened in a tab but it's super long so i haven't made much headway. i want one where it's like.... the one where the old winners come back for a game! and then they escape😈. but in the one i read will and hannibal sort of just escape anyway in a normal hunger game. like ok cool but i don't think that's plausible. but then how would it work ? like could will win a game on his own? maybe i should write my own fic. but then i'd have to understand what happens in the hunger games /j. ugh ok i was thinking abt that one scene where idk they do the little hand signal thing and drag katniss away and go to shut the door like right as they shoot that guy in the head. THAT WAS SO CRAZY. or when katniss shoots the lady instead of president snow and then everyone just descends on him💀 i feel like there's a level of nuance and understanding that i just don't have so i say "woah! cool :)" i hope ur doing well too ily❤️❤️💗

[dork-with-a-uke]

so im trying to spread some positivity, do you have friends who are talented people? could be in anything, art/music/writing/just being kind to people? i thought it might be nice for them to see how much you appreciate them!

o h h h boy i do. i do. get ready because My Friends Are All Talented As Fuck and im fucking here to yell about it (thank you for giving me the opportunity to do so, especially at 3am) 

let’s start! i probably will forget people but yes. 

@officialpatternsep kimberley? amazing writer. honestly hir joetrick fic is one of the best things ive ever read and i will never stop promoting it because it’s so good. also incredibly kind and Great Friend

@i-see-ed joshua is obsessed with dogs and harry potter. @pup-dogs is his (...quite inactive but no less passionate) dog sideblog and @fantasticfred is his harry potter one. he’s real funny and teaches us stuff in danish (ben) 

@falloutbutch jazz? poet. amazing poet, been dragging her into a place she doesn’t want to be (or does she) so perhaps look forward to original content (im not gonna say more bc i dont wanna push her into a corner here hmm) oh yeah her poetry made me cry. good job jazz. 

@officialmexicanfuneral john writes damn good too and her ryden crime au hit me right where it hurts. also great singer + uke player?? god bless

@dayxdreamxng is one of the most interesting & eloquent people i’ve ever met. she’s very witty and funny, writes beautiful poetry and has the gift of being incredibly observant 

@sannysky alex is an amazing poet, an amazing writer. honestly, i never get enough of their words and ideas and its just HhhhhHHhh they know where to hit for the Feelings to Flow. i always love to discuss writing with them and they give the best feedback and constructive criticism. also we like to drag each other into our respective ships

@giveemhelkid eli is incredibly kind and funny and A Great Feedback Giver, a great edit maker??? i still have the hometown edit u made for my birthday last year saved binch i love u 

@notconsolation do i really need to uhhh explain why im mentioning hannah in this?? shes one of the most versatile and creative people ive ever met. her covers and her writing as well as her art are incredible and y’all are missin’ out if you’re not checkin it out

@meowgraine is amazingly kind and puts a smile on my face whenever she interacts with me in any way and i just hhh

@stillstreetjoshua laura makes the most beautiful moodboards and shes honestly just a ray of sunshine that we’re all blessed to have in our lives?? sO MUCH LOVE

@joshdunverified posts the best quality pictures and provides us with The Most Good Joshua William Dun content and shes also so nice and we cry together over boys like pete and heath ledger

@drawingvoices is,,,, such a good writer. honestly. want some good fic? click that fuckin thing. do it. theyre also so KiND and i hope to meet them to hug them someday. that reminds me that iwanna hug all of my goddamned mutuals ok i love u all

@servecobwebheadaches you certainly know isabelle. the Ryden Fic Master.  always down to exchange painful hcs. its Good. lov isabelle.

@buttercupross hannah is Also A Really great writer  and is also?? so good at art??? honestly wtf?? fucking human goals

okay thats all the beautiful people i can think of from the top of my head at almost half past three am i love yall