#its about wishing to have a normal relationship with your sibling but not knowing how to approach it bc the relationship between you is

[missshinazugawa]

I normally don't post anything about controversial subjects, but this time as one of the member in Love and Deepspace community, I wanted to speak up about this horrible issues going on currently.

I've been in the LnD community for a while, from February 2024 till now, it is sad that CN server is spreading hate about Sylus just because they think Sylus 'plagarized' Zayne. While in reality, I know damn well they most of them came back to the game BECAUSE OF SYLUS

Be fucking for real, no ML has been plagarizing any ML. I'm Malaysian Chinese, even me myself felt so embarassed for yall CHINESE PLAYERS to spread hate about one of our beloved. Imagine how devastated Sylus will be if he's real and when he knows this.

Fuck yall mean Sylus doesn't deserve to be famous because he was released late?? This is something that an uneducated people sounds like. I don't see yall hating on Caleb? Cuz tell me why yall want your ADOPTIVE BROTHER to be one of your love interest, its fucking weird. Not to be racist, but yall Chinese glorify that indirect sibling relationship as romance so much.

I will stand for Sylus bcuz he loves us just as much CN Sylus fans loves him. Imagine it's your fave ML, Zayne, Rafayel, Xavier getting hatred, would you guys want that? Seriously isn't Confucius our ancestors? What did he taught us? Yall should be ashame. TRULY AND REALLY, REALLY AND TRULY ASHAMED.

Sylus is the fucking reason LnD blows up. Yes, before he was released, we thought he is the villain in the storyline, but as we play through the game, we do realized he's actually a sweetheart, he is our beloved. But no, yall clearly wanna headcanon him as a red flag, he's a bad guy, he doesn't love MC. Excuse me, are we playing the same game?

It is clear, as we play the game, our first impression on different LIs is different, Sylus looks like he's a bad guy, a villain that likes forced love but actually someone who will do anything to us, no forcing us.

Zayne looks cold outside, but deep down he cared for MC so much, he's willing to love us in every single universe no matter Astra cursed him to not love us. He's warm inside.

Rafayel carefree and often bratty and petulant personality on the surface, but when he's with MC, his beloved, he can be childlish, whiny and all pouty.

Xavier looks like an honest boy, a golden retriever,acts clueless but he's the most possesive LI ever.

From all of this, didn't we already know, or obviously know that all LI have something beyond the surface? Don't villainize any of them for fuck sake. Pls use the brain.

No one is forcing anyone consume other's content, if you love Zayne, then look at Zayne's content, but if you love Sylus too, you as a Zayne main can go look at Sylus's content too, IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

Sylus didn't ruin us, as a Zayne main before, I can assure you, he didnt ruin me. It's just that I prefer Sylus because he is my type, I love his reassurance on Mc's insecurities, I wish I have someone like Sylus beside me, I still love Zayne regardless. It's called OTOME GAME for a REASON.

Please don't give up on defending our beloved as Sylus's fans. We love him and seems like we are the only one that knows him deeply.

If you're a player in LnD, we should stand together, no matter which character we love.

fuck CN antis

Humans doesnt want each other to enjoy A GAME in peace clearly speaks about how childlish we are as mankind. I don't see yall fighting for women's right that much since yall CN people likes Trump.

The post in the ss is from X user @sub_textually

[valodia]

. Thinking about the dynamic between Morgan n Arthur again. They make me insane

[jackiepackiee]

𝒟𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓃 𝒮𝓁𝒶𝓎𝑒𝓇

𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒸𝓉𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇! 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓎𝒶

𝒲/ 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

GN! Reader expect for Tengens part

𝒮𝒶𝓃𝑒𝓂𝒾 𝒮𝒽𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓏𝓊𝑔𝒶𝓌𝒶 - 𝒲𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Contrary to a lot of headcanons I’ve seen, Sanemi would be happy about this

Obviously not outwardly smiling and laughing, but a reserved and peaceful relief

He wants the best for his younger, and now only, brother

And he wishes for nothing more than his happiness and has always hoped for a lover for him to make happy

Family that Genya could have that wouldn’t leave or be tainted like he was

Kind and loving

Now… he wasn’t expecting this lover to be a fellow demon slayer

Especially another Hashira

Sanemi and you, before all of this, get along fine

He respects the other hashira, and obviously sees your strength and drive

But he’s not overly kind, he’s just himself and standoffish

When he does find out about this however, don’t expect a huge reaction

Because he doesn’t know how to react

It’s most likely that you wouldn’t tell him outwardly, and Genya doesn’t speak much with him

Whatever the situation may be, he looks at the two of you for a second

Genya, having grown up with him, recognizes the look in his eyes

It’s the look he’d have with their mother and younger siblings

Yet much fainter now

Sanemi is protective, and this new fire is to cradle you two with your feelings

He wants the best for his brother, and you’re perfect for him

Kind, incredibly powerful, and strong willed

Another person to look out for Genya while able to give him the affection Sanemi fails to deliver

For the sake of happiness, let’s say Sanemi and Genya speak more

Sanemi tells Genya to not be an idiot and treat you right

Before a date he’ll sometimes silently approach Genya and fix his little arrangement of flowers with a huff

“Make sure they put them in water…”

As for your relationship with Sanemi

It’s more like you two are enemies and comrades at the same time

You’re upset at his harsh behavior, talking back at him when he berates anyone

but also willing to die for Genya just like he is

Although he’ll make sure that never happens

Unbeknownst to you, you’re now on his protection radar too

How can Genya be at his best without you?

Lucky you! Dating Genya and getting his scary brother as your new bodyguard

𝒢𝒾𝓎ū 𝒯𝑜𝓂𝒾𝑜𝓀𝒶 - 𝒲𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Giyuu is, like most things, indifferent

He’s happy for you, and happy that you could find love

It’s admirable how you find time to balance work and a more domestic life

But… he’s him

And won’t pay it too much mind

Not wanting to get into your business

To add a little more to this, let’s make a scenario!

You and Giyu are on a mission

And on this mission you’ve been instructed to assist at a small village

Multiple lower rank slayers have gone missing

Sooooo, you both make the journey

Only to find out Genya is a victim to a lower moon

Along with a bunch of other lower ranks of course

You and Giyu make quick work of the smaller demons, but the lower moon obviously poses a challenge

It’s relatively normal until he sees the demon go directly for Genya

It had read your feelings and went for your most important emotional connection

Just before the sharp nails reached Genya, Giyu severed the hand off

He wasn’t sure what made his body move on its own, but seeing you happily embracing your boyfriend after the battle was enough to pull a small smile onto Giyu’s face

Willing to do anything to assist his fellow hashira

𝒦𝓎ō𝒿𝓊𝓇ō 𝑅𝑒𝓃𝑔𝑜𝓀𝓊 - 𝐹𝓁𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Despite being only slightly older than you and Genya, Rengoku acts like a big brother

Laughing (in his way, not a mocking way) while patting Genya’s back

Genya of course blushes and acts like it’s something to ignore

Rengokus enthusiastic response makes him embarrassed!

Now this man is probably one of the first to know (because Mitsuri gossiped to him and his brother over lunch)

And while his energy is over the top, he won’t share the secret

He’s a smart man, and very in tune with emotions

So he knows that it can’t be easy for you

Demons are enough of an issue, no more pressure trying to keep a secret as big as a relationship

Now he loves to talk just as much as he loves to listen

You’re like a little sibling and he’ll listen to all your rants

“The way he wore his hair today. It curled up after the rain and..!”

He won’t judge you for your blushing while recounting the events

Instead he’ll try his best to make that situation happen again

Genya happens to have his hair like that everyday now?

It’s because Rengoku told him that leaving his hair the way it is after air drying is healthy!

(He totally lied, he just knows you think it’s cutest right after it dries)

And Genya believes him, always taking the advice

Which leads to cuter and kinder Genya and more often occasions of you swooning

𝒯𝑒𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓃 𝒰𝓏𝓊𝒾 - 𝒮𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Oh boy…

You’re both in for a ride

Tengen is probably also one of the first people to know

The man has three wives, he knows what it looks like when two idiot teens are in love

Especially when one of them is you who’s never been distracted from training expect when Genya is with you

And with Genya who seems to train even harder to not only impress Sanemi but now you too

Speaking of his wives, they’re probably the reason you know they Tengen found out

It was some “secret flashy plan”

It was early in you and Genyas relationship

And Suma, Hina, and Makio suddenly snuck up on you and stanched you away into the sound hashita estate

They gave you a makeover

Makio and Suma picked out a pretty outfit while Hina gently did your hair and a little bit of makeup

The entire time you four all gossiped, which ended up in your blushing while blabbering about Genya and your early stages of dating

Genya… he wasn’t so lucky

Tengen stole him away and was on his “make over” duty

Not that Genya and Tengen are bad in their respective rights, it’s just…

Genya is a hard around the edges boy and Tengen is Tengen

But he eventually cracked and gave him some serious advice that wasn’t just “I have three wives, I’m a ladies man”

All while helping him find an outfit that isn’t his uniform

“Girls… they’re less complicated than you think. And that one, she’s in for the hell of it. So you have to treat her nice, and she’ll do the same. You’re both good kids, you’ll be fine.”

This all leads to you looking like an angel by your makeover and him blushing furiously

And… Tengens plan may have just set up the date when you two had your first kiss!

𝒮𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑜𝒷𝓊 𝒦𝑜𝒸𝒽ō - 𝐼𝓃𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Shinbou is very intelligent

She knows patterns and human behavior

And she’s familiar with Genya after his demon consumption

So it’s very obvious to her what’s going on

Especially after he’s the first to visit you and visa versa

She remembers the day she really found out though… wasn’t a good one

Genya had eaten demon flesh again, even if instructed by everyone to stop

Gyomei said it was immoral, Sanemi said it was stupid, and Shinbou said it was unhealthy

But you, you hated it the most

Seeing him become something he’s not

You loved him, not a demon

And hated the danger it proved

So when this night came, hell broke loose

He had eaten demon and transformed for the night

It’s just that you saw him right before sunrise

And we’re unsure if he had transformed back into a human before the sun

Leading you to leave the battlefield, covered in bruises and pushing past every slayer who tried to speak to you

When you met Shinbou, you started crying

Genuine tears one only cried after the loss of their life

Being herself, she hugged you

And tried to help by inquiring your emotions

“G-Genya! Sniffle Is he here? He was still a demon minutes before sunrise.”

She understands and ushers you someplace

Genya is fast asleep, making a cute face as if he was dreaming

You never outwardly told her, but she’ll never forget the fear at the thought of losing him, and the relief in your eyes and you feel to the ground in tears at his survival

𝑀𝓊𝒾𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓇ō 𝒯𝑜𝓀𝒾𝓉ō - 𝑀𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝑒𝓇

Unbothered king

Now he’s friends with Genya but both are rather reserved people

Not the type to share much about their lives and feelings

Let’s pretend this is after his memory is restored

Muichiro is a good kid, and your friend as well

But is pretty unaware of romance and honesty not that interested

Not that he won’t listen

You could talk him ear off about anything and he’d hum in acknowledgment

He just doesn’t have much input

You three do hang out together sometimes

If you’re more extroverted it works well

You pull them along to do fun things

You three really getting to act your age and mess around

If you’re more introverted this is one of the chillest groups ever

When Genya is around people he trusts (his lover and friend who are both Hashira) he never yells or acts over the top

He’s actually rather quiet just like Muichiro, especially when in his presence

The one real involvement of Mui in romance is Genya asking if the flowers he picked are good and Mui nodding even though he knows absolutely nothing about gift giving or flowers

𝑀𝒾𝓉𝓈𝓊𝓇𝒾 𝒦𝒶𝓃𝓇𝑜𝒿𝒾 - 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Either your best dream or worst nightmare

She is more enthusiastic about this relationship than you are!

Expect weekly letters inquiring your dating status

Have you had your first kiss?

He held you hand?

You had a sleepover?!?

And the second she sees you she’s bouncing in excitement

Pulling you to the nearest place to sit and interrogating you

For being the love hashira, she’s pretty clueless

She always wants to know every cute detail

“You kissed his cheek? The scar or the other side? Did he blush? He always blushes around you!”

This is what I mean by dream or nightmare

Either you get embarrassed about the question or love the gossip about your lover

She’s the more supportive, giving you amazing date ideas

Even if most of them have to do with eating

She’s the first to know about your first kiss and this girl wants the WHOLE story

She definitely tells Obanai too (if you’re okay with it)

She doesn’t talk to Genya much though :(

Especially since the first and only time she tried to ask about your relationship his face lit up bright red and he seemed to freeze

“All I did was ask about your relationship and he didn’t respond! The conversation was fine before that!”

But he is never surprised when he gets a visit from her crow with a letter of all your new favorite foods, places, and items

She’s an excellent gift giver and wants to help him

As if he didn’t already know all of that, he genuinely appreciates the effort

This girl is your biggest fan!

𝒢𝓎ō𝓂𝑒𝒾 𝐻𝒾𝓂𝑒𝒿𝒾𝓂𝒶 - 𝒮𝓉𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Gyomei knew first

He’s a wise older man and a observant mentor

And while you may be off most of the time, Genya is always training under him

And he doesn’t fail to notice Genya always hitting that much harder whenever you are gone on a long mission

I’m saying this man knew Genya had a crush before Genya knew that himself

And he was moved, brought to tears and not paying attention to Genyas huffs of embarrassment

Genya would never yell at him of course

Gyomei is a smart man

And with that he knows a lot about kids (he considers you both kids)

So he’s well aware of your dancing around your feelings

And that upsets him

Your time on this earth is very likely to be short as demon slayers, so you both shouldn’t be wasting it

That is why, as the oldest hashira, he gets some plans in motion

Why are you suddenly on more missions with Genya?

Why do you both end up at the same wisteria house?

Why is it that you both happen to have the same days off?

Gyomei Himejima is why baby

He wants what’s best for the people under his care, even you can take care of yourself

And if he has to put in some forced proximity? So be it

𝐼𝑔𝓊𝓇𝑜 𝒪𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒶𝒾 - 𝒮𝑒𝓇𝓅𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝐻𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶

Obanai does care

Not some bullshit of him being uninterested with other people’s lives

He sees you as a child (you’re obviously around Genya’s age) and knows that only so many things could make a child in the demon slayer corps happy

He knows neither of you have had good lives

If you had, you wouldn’t be in this damn job

That being said, with how withdrawn he is you’d probably think he didn’t even know you and Genya were an item

But he’s observant

And cares for his fellow hashira just like everyone else

He won’t have much to do with anything

But best believe he listens to both Sanemi complain and Mitsuri babble about you two

Sanemi is trying to seem tough

[velvetvexations]

Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.

I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).

And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.

This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.

I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them

Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.

Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".

So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.

Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.

Thank you for the support, anon.

[formulapookie]

;)

under the cut to read

it started as something @giuventus asked me to write, amo spero sia bella, l'ho scritta mezza da fatta e l'altra metà da addormentata

They can only dream beznaia, 1.6k words

They’re running late, they both know that, they spent way too much time in the shower making out and jerking off like teenagers and way too little actually getting ready for the press con they have to attend in 5 minutes.

“Pecco I told you we had to be quicker, they're gonna ask for our heads, ITS FIFTEEN MINUTES FROM HERE how are we supposed to make it?”

“We would’ve been there on time if you didn’t tease me back in the room.

Do you think I am a man intelligent enough to not think about railing you when you walk around in just  my jersey and nothing under it?”

“No, that’s why I do it but -PECCO THE LEFT TURN DIOBO”

They almost miss it, but somehow manage to get there in 10 minutes, parking the bike somewhere random next to the Ducati garage and sprinting to the press con room.

“Where were you two?” Carola is furious, rightfully so, but hands them the pass.

“actually I don’t wanna know, just go in there and fucking act normal”

“What do you mean normal?”

“Like you didn’t just fuck maybe? I don’t want this 

type of mess to deal with right now”

Bez is red as Pecco’s jersey now, Pecco throwing Carola a look that kills while pushing Bez to the room.

“She knows?”

“She’s my sister guess it’s like -siblings thing or something”

They make a run for the room and find Martin already sitting there, smiling at Pecco, just waving at Bez. 

Him and the Spaniard don’t have the best relationship, but he knows he and Pecco in the past have shared one too many nights for calling it casual, and one too many moments together for Bez’s liking.

“Bastardo” he says before sitting on Pecco’s left side.

“Stop it Bez we’re live”

“Tell your little friend to stop being an asshole then”

“Bez.”

He shuts up, knowing it’s best to not piss Pecco off if he still wishes to walk afterwards.

The press con goes by pretty easily, they’re asked usual questions about the championship and how they think they will manage a possible title fight up to Valencia.

Then it’s the turn of those bothering personal questions Bez never liked.

Why do journalists care what one does in private he will never understand.

“And for you Bez, do you feel that for Jorge having a girlfriend could be a distraction?”

Now what kind of question is this?

Like what the actual fuck

“Eh I don’t have idea, I’m not currently taken so I don’t know if it can be an incentive to do better or no, you asked the wrong guy sorry” “No girlfriend for you then?” “Not currently no, am free”

He can feel Pecco’s eyes on him, he can’t look back, he’s sure he would combust if he did.

They ask a few more questions to Martin and Pecco about their battles on track and if they think the championship can go to Valencia, Bez doesn’t listen, he’s trying to hide his blush as Pecco compliments him on a last minute action he pulled last weekend.

They get up for the group picture, Jorge’s arm goes to wrap itself around Pecco’s waist and Bez would very much like to push him away from him.

They go out and cross paths with the other three having to undergo presscon, they greet each other, then it’s only them three.

“So Bezzecchi you really have no girl?”

“Nah, focused on racing, plus I have Rubik he’s great company”

“If you say so, see you tomorrow, I have - company waiting for me”

Bez pulls a half disgusted face, turning towards Pecco, who looks everything but relaxed right now.

“Care to come with me to my motorhome Bez?”

“Yeah sure”

He follows Pecco silently, he looks pissed off, he doesn’t know why exactly, could be a question he didn’t bother to listen to during the presscon.

They get to the Ducati garage, they all greet Bez, luckily enough it’s normal for him to be there, so no suspicions arise between the mechanics.

“Lock the door”

Bez does it with no questions, it’s not like they never lock doors to talk, but usually the room doesn’t feel this charged, it’s a space where they usually chill before and after races.

“Everything ok Pecco? You look - I don’t know you look” “Angry?” “Pissed off, did a question bother you or something? I stopped listening after mine, I knew they were stupid questions anyway”

“It’s not the question per se that bothered me, mostly it was the answer”

Pecco goes to sit on the edge of his bed, the other absentmindedly going to find his place on his lap, as Pecco wraps his hands around his hips.

“Did Martin say something bothersome? I’m going to find him if he did” “No no amore nothing like that”

“Then what?”

They are really close now, Bez can smell the shampoo they both used before on Pecco, it’s something mint scented which Bez doesn’t particularly like, but uses anyway because it’s Pecco’s favorite.

“You saying you’re not taken. Saying you are free. I didn’t like it. People are going to get the wrong idea don’t you think? They’re gonna assume they can flirt with you, and touch you here” Pecco’s hands draw small circles on Bez’s hips, that by now is fucking crimson and sweating.

“Or here” he moves his hands lower, to Bez’s thighs, still drawing patterns on them.

“Or even here” Bez lets out a moan when Pecco presses one of his hands against his bulge, feeling him through the jeans he’s wearing.

“Pecco fuck” he smiles, Bez’s head on his shoulder as he keeps palming him through his jeans.

“Imagine what they could think, maybe that they are allowed to kiss you or feel your pretty mouth around their dick mh?”

“Please” he’s hot under Pecco’s touch, burning with need.

“Do you think I liked that, Marco? Seeing their eyes on you like you were a prey? Seeing them thinking that you’re available?”

“I didn’t - fuck - I didn’t mean for them to think that”

“Oh I believe you amore, I do, seriously, but you see, they are now confident they can have you, and I have to make sure you’re seen as off limits the next few days right?”

Bez can feel he’s close, Pecco’s hand working him up without removing any clothes, he’s breathing hard by now, he tries to go unzip his jeans but Pecco doesn’t let him, he wants to be the one in absolute control right now.

“Pecco” 

“I bet they would pay to hear how you sound amore, and I honestly don’t think I could spend my money better than that”

“I’m close Pecco fuck”

“You know what pisses me off more?”

Bez mutters a muffled “no”, biting his lip to quieten his noises as much as possible.

“the fact they’d think about leaving marks here, all over your neck, branding you with their signature”

Pecco does as he says, pressing a light kiss on Bez’s neck, then moving up slightly, biting and sucking on the spot, which becomes purple almost immediately, drawing out a long moan from Bez, who’s fighting for the last drops of dignity.

“I need them to see that you are not available, not for them not for anyone else, you belong to me Marco, I don’t like when others try to take what mine”

He’s been jealous in the past, yes, especially with Mig, always flirting with him, or Cele, but not like this.

And it’s hot.

Really hot, knowing Pecco wants him as badly as he wants Pecco, that he wants to mark him to draw a line.

“You look so beautiful, and you’re all mine”

he’s whispering against Bez’s collarbone now, hot breath making him shiver, as he begins to leave a trail of kisses from the collarbone until the juncture between neck and shoulder that always gets Bez weak for it, slowly reaching his neck, sucking deep purple and blue hickeys on it, Bez still trying to hold back his orgasm, a whimpering mess under Pecco’s teasing.

“Don’t hold back amore, you deserve it”

Bez barely lasts another half second before feeling his orgasm overwhelm him, coming in his briefs and trousers, embarrassingly much like a teenager.

“Look how pretty you look, all marked by me”

Bez turns his head back, facing the huge mirror Pecco insisted on having positioned in front of his bed.

He’s covered in bruises and hickeys, luckily they can all be covered by a high neck sweater he currently has, otherwise he would’ve never walked out of here looking like that.

They spend the rest of the time making out, showering and making out again, Pecco sucking a few more marks on Bez’s neck, smiling after each one of them has taken its place.

“See you later amore, come to my room ok?” “Yeah yeah I will, don’t worry”

Bez puts on the sweater, pulling it as high as he can to cover his neck, until he’s fairly far from it, walking like nothing happened just half an hour ago.

“You found a girl in the end, Bezzecchi?” 

“What?”

“Well it’s either that or you have a very bad reaction to something because your neck looks really…messy”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He checks himself with his internal camera on his phone.

There’s no hiding, they show even if he pulls the sweater higher, and tries to salvage the situation.

“Yeah no, it’s just a uhm a grid girl, nothing special”

“Mh yeah, of course, see you tomorrow Bez”

The curly boy looks as the other goes back inside his motorhome, not failing to notice how he always avoids the same room. 

He thinks it’s hot once again, to be branded by Pecco like he was right now.

[httpkaulitz]

can u write a angst, just purely angst with absolutely no emotion except for anxiety and sadness its abt bill and how he’s been distant along 2x with reader and some random girl. and one day reader finds out and confronts him while him not gaf and just leaving her with no worries while the reader is in her lowest point ever.

sorry if it’s to long 😔

Somebody that I used to know

PAIRINGS: Bill x Female reader

CONTENT: Angst

SYNOPSIS: You discover that Bill has been lying to you

WARNINGS: cheating, fight and a bit of panic attack

You and Bill never had the perfect relationship, it was just normal like the all couple. You would fight and disagree about some things, you would make up and fight again.

You had your differences, but you always respected each other, at least that's what you thought.

When you started to feel Bill acting distant you thought it was all in your head. Maybe he really was just tired, after all that was what he said. There was no point in doubting him after so long you have being together.

But it was hard to ignore the feeling that something was wrong when it happened every time he was away for work.

You didn't want to play the annoying, jealous girlfriend. Damn, you were never like this. You even found some of the fans' comments funny.

All of this just made you wonder more and more if you were wrong. You felt deep in your gut that something was wrong and you felt so bad about it. The disconnected mix of feelings. Because you think Bill doesn't love you like he used to and is slowly moving away. Fear of being ungrateful when he doesn't deserve you to doubt him.

All this agony and doubt ended accidentally. Tom and Bill were finishing a song in the studio and you had just prepared a snack for both of them. You entered the room silently with the intention of not disturbing them, but instead of working, the two were arguing and didn't even notice your presence.

“It’s not fair to do that to her, you fucking know that.” Tom shouted angrily pointing his finger in Bill's face who looked more bored than anything else.

“You don’t have to get involved in this, it has nothing to do with you.” Bill responded with a shrug.

You looked from one to the other trying to understand what was going on. They fought sometimes, of course, like any siblings, but it was so rare especially at the level of yelling.

“And what are you going to do when she sees the photos? You know at some point it’s going to get to her.” Tom said and all your doubts, the repressed and confused feelings, everything you had been feeling for the last few weeks made sense.

You weren't crazy, a voice whispered inside your head.

And for a moment you wished you were, you wished all your paranoia was just that, paranoia. Because it would be easier to overcome and much less painful. But no, it was clear that Bill had cheated on you and as if that wasn't enough, you were finding out about it because of his brother. It was so humiliating.

"Shit." You heard someone say and when you looked at them again they were both standing there staring at you.

You didn't know how to react and the only thing you could do was turn around and leave the room as silently as when you had entered. You were so embarrassed. Mainly because of the way Tom looked at you, with so much pity.

You wondered how long he had known. Did the other boys know too? Damn, he talked about a photo. If this is on the Internet then everyone knows. You laughed when the phrase 'the betrayed is always the last to know' came to mind.

You dropped the tray with the snack on the kitchen counter and ran to the bedroom. Your movements were so automatic that you felt like you were teleporting. You took out your cell phone to look for anything, any evidence. You needed to see it. It sounds masochistic, but it's hard to believe that someone you've known for so long would do this to you.

It wasn't very difficult to find. It was everywhere. Bill and another woman together, so close it would be questionable and then in the next photo he is whispering something in her ear while holding her waist and in the next they were kissing.

You held your breath trying to swallow the lump that formed in your throat. You could feel the tears streaming down your face, your hands shaking as you stared at your phone until the screen went blank and you could see your pathetic reflection in it.

Bill entered the room and stared at you for a few seconds. No guilt or anger at being caught. There was nothing. He didn't even seem worried about you. He didn't even say anything.

You felt your heart burn even more. Because, what did you do to deserve so much indifference? What did you do to be treated like this?

You watched as Bill grabbed one of the suitcases and began to put some of his clothes inside.

“Are you just going to leave?” You asked with a choked voice. Bill paused for a moment but then started arranging his clothes again.

You left your cell phone on the bed and walked over to him.

"Answer me." You almost begged as you grabbed him by the shirt forcing him to turn towards you.

You looked at him and he looked back at you. Nothing! You wished he would at least have the decency to look away. Of seeming to feel something. Could it be that you were really so blind and never realized how cold he could be?

Your head was a mess. Why was this all happening out of nowhere?

You continued to feel the warm tears running down your face and you hated that you were crying so much when Bill didn't even show any reaction.

"No." You took a breath and squeezed his shirt tighter. “You can’t just walk away like that.”

Bill grunted. “For God’s sake, sunshine, why do you have to be like this? Can’t you just leave me alone?!”

The nickname made you cringe because you knew he said it out of pure habit and there wasn't any meaning behind it.

You looked at him for looking for anything, any indication of contradiction. Because sometimes your expressions are more real than the words that come out of your mouth. But again there was nothing. Nothing deep in those eyes that enchanted you so much.

“What the fuck do you want to hear instead, huh?” He moved away your hand that was holding his shirt and went back to packing his suitcase.

The feeling of hurt was slowly turning into anger inside you.

"Anything." You spoke louder, moving to his side so you could look at him. “Say it was a mistake, say it wasn’t, say you were drunk, say it was my fault… anything.”

When he didn't react, you took the suitcase from his hands and threw it away, the clothes scattered around the room.

“You can’t just walk away without saying anything.” He tried to free himself from your grip, but the grip on your fingers was rock solid.

Your mind was so messed up, you just wanted him to react somehow. You wanted him to hug you and tell you everything is going to be okay. You wanted him to scream at you. Anything would be better than this total indifference that made your heart hurt.

When Bill tried to push you away again you screamed. Pain, anger, frustration and disappointment burned inside you.

"Say something!" You kept yelling at him.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, I don’t have an explanation.” It was the only cold answer he gave you.

You approached him and started hitting his chest, which didn't seem to have any effect on him. “I want you to react! Say something, fight with me, just…” You screamed as you cried more.

“Stop that sunsh-” You slapped him in the face before he could finish the nickname. Bill grabbed your arm.

"Don't hit me." He whispered to you, tightening his grip on your wrist.

Refusing to listen, your other hand snaked and you tried to hit him again. ''No.'' He warned again, this time holding both of your wrists tightly against the wall above your head.

The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds without saying anything. And it was then that you realized that nothing you said was going to change his mind.

It hurt to realize he had no regard for you. Not even to think you deserve an explanation. No, all he gave you were lies and a quick way out so he wouldn't even have to interact with you.

Bill let go of your wrists and slowly pulled away from you. He gathered his things that were on the floor and simply left without even looking back.

You felt your body slide down the wall until you were sitting on the cold floor. Your body collapsed as you cried uncontrollably.

You imagined that your relationship would end one day, everything always ends, but you never thought it would be this way.

[polyhexian]

Y'know what, Belos is lucky Jasper didn't exist during Enoch's timeframe. Kids are the one thing that consistently manage to break Jasper out of his brainwashing.

Jasper like "child? in the castle? castle child? live-in castle child? easy access to live-in castle child??" :D

Jasper: *doesn't actually know how to talk to a child* Enoch: *isn't a normal child anyway so it all works out*

Caitlyn wouldn't trust him as far as she could throw him at first because she doesn't trust anyone in the EC, but she can't tell him to leave them alone, and she certainly isn't going to ask BELOS to tell him to leave them alone, because Belos would probably do the exact opposite, the asshole. Over time she still doesn't come to trust Jasper but she starts tolerating him. Ahaha god imagine the first time she sees his face its while he's still new and she hates it cuz of how much he looks like Tell and maybe she manages to say something that has him flinch a bit and from then on out he doesn't take the mask off around her. And then the next time she sees his face its cuz he took the mask off with a wince while he didn't realize she was there and she sees the fresh scars. Ouch.

Enoch keeps seeking Jasper out because he's actually willing to teach her how to put someone in a headlock. Belos is too self-centered to realize any of this is happening. OR Belos says "stop teaching the sick child how to fight" and Jasper goes "well he didn't say I couldn't teach you about POISONS" and Enoch's just like, awesome, you're a very useful resource and I might even not hate you.

At some point Jasper puts together that Enoch is a Grimwalker's kid and Belos is an asshole. Caitlyn opens her door at 2AM to find Jasper on the other side like "hey I'm about to dig up a baby and hightail it out of here, if you wanna join me pack your bags."

Things proceed much like MH except Caitlyn's the one clutching a dirty newborn stumbling around the castle ruins until she finds Jasper. Enoch is pissed he didn't invite her to the impromptu Kill Belos Party.

And then, y'know, they go to the Owl House, except it's Dell and Gwen and the girls.

Jasper and Caitlyn would make an interesting…not power couple, but something. A platonic "we're in this hell together" couple. If nothing else they have the traumabond of being trapped under Belos's control and being terrified for their kids' futures. Jasper's got his Grimwalker trauma and Caitlyn has her Loved A Grimwalker trauma and years of getting intimately acquainted with everything Tell was terrified of. Jasper like "I wish I'd been smart enough to figure it out sooner" and Caitlyn like "he would've fucking killed you and we both know it." Jasper like "I wish I could be more like Tell, he sounds so much cooler and smarter than me" and Caitlyn blinks like "only because no one talks about you the same way I talk about him" and then fixes that.

Meanwhile Eda and Lilith are like "why is Cousin Enoch scary" while Gwen is like "that's just the trauma, sweet fleas, be nice!" and meanwhile Dell is just sitting here like. Okay. His sister is alive, and was in a relationship with a Grimwalker, who is dead, and now there's ANOTHER Grimwalker of the same person, who is not his sister's lover, but he's his sister's SOMETHING because traumabonding, and there's a BABY Grimwalker, and also there's a niece who he had no idea existed who is personally offended that she didn't get to kill Belos herself despite being 12. What even is his life anymore.

Jasper showing up at her door like hey if this is weird you can go back to sleep but do you want to help me kidnap my baby and or murder Belos?

Jasper and Caitlyn aren't romantically together but they're still definitely like. Together, in a way. They're both living together and raising their kids together. I guess it's more like two siblings raising their kids together or two roommates that both have children. They're a parent team. Like if MH Alador and jasper were living together lol

Enoch @ every kid at school "my dad could kill your dad"

[sillyandquiteawkward]

ME AGAIN ! GUY WHO LIKES YOUR OCS ! (apparently this didn't send before but thankfully I saved it beforehand !)

Okay So I really really like Bailey and his siblings because they're literally SO bad coping mechanisms core. Like damn therapy wasn't kidding that Child Abuse really Can leave you altered for the rest of your life !

Ignatius is Fawn, due to having had to have adapted into a role of a peacekeeper for people in the house not to fucking bite each other, but also because I can really see him trying to sympathize with everyone around him in an attempt to make himself more approachable, more demure, smaller even, so that no one is mean to him. He wants things to be "normal" Soooo Bad he can't stand the fact people won't just talk to each other despite it feeling like the most logical option [<- Bro cannot accept the circumstances of a much more complicated relationship between his siblings than he originally fathomed !]

Bailey is Flight to me, because much like Octavia points out in that one comic you made innnnn 2022 (? I TINK !), instead of actually solving the issues that bother him head on and face the consequences of doing so, he'd rather walk around them a billion different ways and pretend to be busy and avoidant and Cool because dealing with actual conflict is SCARY !!!!!!! Call this guy "Mask of my own face" by Lemon Demon the way he has never once in his life felt the full extent of his emotions due to an underlying self imposed expectation to be this untouchable being who's always right and never actually has to have a heart to heart with anyone <3. I just think its interesting how you write Bailey to be this all-logic-no-play person, while also giving him the feeling that all of this is an act waiting to fall apart, and that he does not in fact Know A Damn Thing. He's the world's dumbest smart man I wish I could throw him in a well <- loving

And Octavia, of course, is Fight, but not JUST because she's exceedingly aggressive in order to cover up her own insecurities and fear of not being her an actual individual ! There's so much more to her and I'm FASCINATED frankly. She lives in a shadow of someone who has never had much regard for her accomplishments, and now she wants SO BAD to prove that "NO, YOU WERE WRONG, I AM SO GOOD AT THIS AND SO SUCCESSFUL" that she ends up losing her personality along the way. She's so focused on the achievements she has gotten, the fights she has won, the struggle SHE ALONE overcame, that she forgets that she's like... a person. Octavia has been on self defense mode for so long that she's forgotten HOW to take off all that armour, and now she's just stuck under hundreds of pounds of metal waiting for that one final thing that's going to make her happy. I just need to work a little harder ! I just need to do this better ! I just need a little more time to work on this and then I can rest ! I am good ! I am good ! She shouts. And then, when she FINALLY gets that score, that perfect track record, she's like "Great ! This proves me my worth and that I am in fact Good !...Now what". It's never enough and it has never been enough but fucking dammit she will prove it to herself to her mom and to her shitass lazy siblings that NO I AM GOOD. I JUST NEED TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD. IM DOING GOOD BECAUSE I WORK HARD. She's normal ♡ [I love her so bad but PLEASE give her mood stabilizers]

Hoohhg this ended up longer than I imagined but anyway. Tldr, Im Bailey I'm Iggy and Im Octavia the MENTAL ILLNESS siblings <3

(Long essay anon here again sorry) I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR OCS CONSTANLTY IM SO SORRY. They came into my house (brain) one day and they haven't left so now I'm conducting experiments on them. They're so cool and I really want you to know that they are. 50 ttrillion dollars for yiu

------

i literally love this soooo much please always feel free to have thoughts about my ocs ANYTIME! your thoughts about the bayleys are SO RIGHT. the mental illness siblings realness 😔 hehehehehe i think its really interesting that they ended up showing off the fight/flight/fawn responses. its not something i entirely planned for them, but its accurate. i especially enjoy the thoughts on bayley's flight response, it really is interesting how hes a master at avoiding things.

some doodles on your thoughts and what i thought would be silly in response. <3 bc i live for this stuff and it makes my day to read things like this, let alone on my own characters (sobbing crying <3<3)

[satuwn]

Feel free to dismiss this but youve mentioned wanting to talk about your ocs and i was wondering who bagi is? I couldnt find anything on the tag other than recent posts and im curious as to what their deal is. You're so creative with your character designs that i cannot possibly guess what they might look like, and if youre willing to share any info i am dying to know (no pressure though if you dont wish to respond!)

OH ERM. bagi isnt my oc but kinda is in my story <3 thank you for the ask tho, more reason to infodump!!! more under the cut, a lotta text

bagi is the main character of the obscure movie bagi the monster of mighty nature. she is a lab made human animal hybrid. all the animals escaped the lab including her mountain lion mother and they all get killed except her. she is taken in by a human family thinking she was a normal kitten but soon they learn she is unusual as she stands up on her hind legs and mimicks human behavior... years later the main boy character and her meet again and shenanigans happen, i wont spoil it for you, but be warned its weird (i really mostly like it for her <3 otherwise its a bit shit) its osamu tezukas work and is a commentary on how animal testing is against nature and bad (the message kinda falls flat though lol). for me i adore the movie but sort of within my own interpretation of it.. cuz again its not the best piece of media lol i view the main guy character as insufferable (should die tbh) and their relationship as sibling like (since his parents did take her in) and my story starts after the events of the movie! without spoilers, years later bagis mountain lion dna was overtaking her making her act feral/losing her human sanity. and everything i wrote in the infodump happens! BUT i do have my own design for her ive yet to draw for my story. for now have screenshots

[nevwornxiety]

Am i the only one who is getting the feels watching Jun and Haesung together in these 2 new episodes 🥰

What i like from these episodes are:

I really like how the director finally shows more dynamic between the two.

On my previous post, I mentioned about Jun on how he is not having any emotional baggage and I hope to see more of his character development. It turns out that he has some commitment issues and he feels co - dependent towards the people he's close with (Shim siblings)

Based on the latest episodes, seems like his family dynamic and his parent's relationship makes him less interested in building family life together with someone. Added with the fact that he grew up with Shim siblings together and he knew all their hardships. Who knows maybe he's had his heart broken before?

Meanwhile Haesung still believes in things like happy ending. But she always attracts the wrong guy and based on the previous diss from Jun in previous episodes ( where they met at the restaurant with the lead), Haesung is also attracted with bad boys and the boys who seem to readily give her all the attention she craves.

I like the fact that the youngest brother noticed Jun and Haesung's relationship instead of his and Woojo. Probably he has already thought if both of them kissing and that is why he said "i would not even care if you both kissing"

I wished we could have more interaction between Haesung and his parents. Perhaps in the next episode, she could at least help to repair their relationship?

Seems like when Haesung and the father cleared their throat, probably Haesung will be closer to his father instead of Mom?

Mom might be wary of Haesung especially since she supposedly treats Jun as her precious son. She said about wearing Yellow is not good maybe because she views Haesung as a bright person to Jun (different from Woojo and his family dynamic) and when she said see you again , she expects to see her more. Even though Mom finds out that Jun lied about his relationship with Haesung.

Jun's Mom represents all the viewers feeling who are confused about his feeling for Woojo or Haesung. But it goes to show that he cares for both girls with the intent of having different purpose (one cares as a friend and one cares the other as a girl). Jun explains in the episode to his Mom that he cares for Haesung despite his brashness towards her

I think that when Jun asked her for a drink after their family lunch, is when she knew that Jun needs alone time the most. Since she is an empath, she decides not to accept the call from the security guy because she knows that Jun needs someone to talk to. So she gladly hears his thought.

I feel bad at Haesung, she knows that she used the security guy as the rebound to forget her ex. She remembers Jun's word to about being more transparent with her feeling and emotion. She really tries to make the relationship work despite incompatibility. She starts being honest about her mental health and the prescribed medicine she took.  However since the guy seems immature and does not know much about mental health, he just casually acts as if its nothing. Meanwhile, this scene could be a key point of both Jun and Haesung's relationship. Because shit gets real now when Jun hugs Haesung back and feels her sadness.

His reaction on Ep 10 is different from the one had in the first episode where he accompanied Haesung to the karaoke and sing her heart out. Sure, he feels protective - but at that moment , it just feels like " Again? Crying about guys? Okay then, I will accompany you since your sister is nowhere to be found" . On the other hand, This time I think that this is where Jun is scared and pained when he saw Haesung crying. Because it just feels different, its not just a normal heartbreak. Even Haesung's cried is different. Seems like Haesung never hugs him/ rarely hugs him so if it happens the situation might be serious

So far I think that one who has a feeling first is Jun. Because Haesung seems not realizing her feeling. Sure she cares for him and thinks he is handsome, but its not to the point where she has a deep feeling for him. She cares about him because Jun is always there for her.

[bababaka]

Sooo. Red queen. I didn't like it. But it had so much potential. So i am going to ramble about what i would change. It's nothing serious. And i just think its fun (and also might help me improve my writing skills. So les go!)

Ok. One of the things that bothered me the most about red queen is Mare's relationship with her family. Mostly talking about Shade and Gisa.

When Shade died i just couldn't care less. Mare and Farley's suffering was just not it. In the same book we got Shade back, we lost him. Which, okay, fine. But i think this had so much potential for angst.

Mare lost Shade twice.

If maybe Mare truly mourned him in the first book. Talked (or thought) about her memories with him(he was supposed to be the sibling she was closest to besides Gisa!). Imagine how elated Mare got when she reealized her brother was alive again. How protective she would be of him afterwards.

I wish instead of letting Shade get beat for the sake of the mission, she had blew it for his sake. If when seeing her brother there, beat up to a pulp, vulnerable, weak. The letter just resurfaced into her mind. "Dead in combat. Dead. Dead. Dead. She can't lose Shade. She can't. Not again"

I would be crying along Mare when he died. Because he died. She lost him. Again. Because of her. To protect her.

We could even work with some self hatred from Mare. Just drowing in guilt and doubt.

Gisa is just... I don't even know. Like her purpose was to make Mare feel like a weight, out of place. Sure, after the first book, it got better, but still. I wished we had flashbacks or just Mare telling us how they were before all of that. How they got close. Why they got close. When you envy someone, normally your relatioship with them is not good. When we have this between siblings, it just leads to them competing against each other.

So i guess instead of Mare just "oh. She is everything. She is beautiful. Works. And im dirty and steal" i would like a more "she is beautiful. Has a future. Such perfection must be guarded from being tarnished". Like at the same time she does feel somewhat out of place, she also just feels the need to protect Gisa. She is so frail. So pretty. So held together. Stainless.

While Mare is dirty. All over the place. A thief.

So instead of being uhul. Joined at the hip. Or being close. I think i'd like to see Mare growing distant from Gisa. And then on later books, Gisa would ask why. They used to be best friends. Thick as thieves. And yet, somehow, somewhere along the way, Mare left her behind. Left and only gave her an excuse of a purple earring.

Then, Gisa and Mare would talk and cry and bond. This could happen after Shade's death.

Ok. For now, that's it.

(That's just my opinion. If you want to debate, please be nice. Let's talk about it.)

Next topic: The pairings. And Mare being everyone's crush for no reason.

Here is part 2

[lonelyalien369]

i feel like my mom is always mad at me (not always but anxiety is the exaggerator) and that's why i keep having dreams where we're fighting and i get very mad and im still mad at her when i wake up for some reason as if what she did in the dream was actually her fault. but idk. i never feel comfortable talking about my struggles with her and im not sure why. is it that im afraid of people in general thinking im begging for attention or something or am i afraid of her response specifically? my memory is so shit so i cant bring myself to a specific example but theres just this feeling in my head that if i get personal with her shes going to ridicule me for some reason. like maybe, i guess, i don't complain about work anymore because then she one ups me about how she works TWO jobs and i have sooo many days off and blah blah blah like okay man but youre physically abled and shit and im not. just because i dont have some horrible debilitating illness diagnosed doesn't mean im not fucking struggling through everyday. you dont know half the shit i go through every day because i stopped telling you a long ass time ago. i stopped when i was a teenager because no one ever believed me. why would i have reason to think anyone would now? i just get slapped with a "fibromyalgia" diagnosis and told to go home. hey, what about my balance problems? my lack off appetite and subsequent weight loss? my constant migraines? my daily pain? whatever man. she doesn't know any of it. i don't tell her. why would i ever think she would believe it? i dont know if im justified in thinking that, but im terrified of finding out, so i never do. i keep it all to myself like i always have. yep. it always works. im doing great. justt peachy. god, i feel like she barely knows me. does that make me terrible? i don't even want to talk to her anymore. i just want to silently slink off to my room for the night. i never know how to bring any of this shit up. my dad may have been explosive when it came to criticizing him, but my mom wasn't far fucking behind. and she likes to pretend they're so different. i guess i get it, i have rejection sensitive dysphoria, so even polite corrections feel like shots to the face, but i dont react by vehemently lashing out and stubbornly defending myself. i just shut up, shut down and leave to cry. but they get angry. and theyll insist they're right. and you can never ever change their mind about nearly anything. we don't talk about cops anymore. i try to stop my siblings from saying stuff like acab because i know shes going to get pissy and defensive about it. when they dont live with her they forget how sensitive she is. i used to be annoyed when theyd feel bad for me for still living with her. but fuck, i get it now. trying to build a long term relationship with her kind of just... hits this wall. you cant get vulnerable with her. it feels too uncomfortable. you feel like you're going to be judged, because you HAVE been. its not an unreasonable assumption. and its BROKEN us. where else am i going to go? i dont have a relationship, no friends to go to, and she's dependent on me too.

.... we're going to have to break the uncomfortable silence eventually. its only hard to talk if you don't try. if this keeps brewing, we're only going to drift apart. and then we'll just have a bunch of regrets...... i wonder if she thinks these things too. i wonder if she wants to be vulnerable, but doesn't want to put the burden on me. you cant exactly read other peoples minds. ..... i cant start tonight. but i.. i often find that i misread her emotional state. i tend to think shes upset with me when shes quiet . but most of the time shes just doing something and its fine. i always assume. fuck. i wish i just had a normal relationship with my parents. does anyone have that? that would be fucking nice.

[mittenscatgod]

hey is there any particular Qi story you wish existed but can't/don't want to write for some reason. Asking for a friend

yeah im always thinking about his friendship with mint and his relationship with his parents. depending on how long my fic gets through the 'story' of the assistant and qi that exists in my head (my barely uncontained lust) they might wind up meeting qis parents and grandfather but as a person hes very focused on the present moment and doesnt like talking much about himself which leads to questions about his upbringing.

he describes himself as a child as 'aloof' (which i think is jsut qi code for being a normal kid not focused on scientific achievement) and we see him smiling in his pictures. it seems like he's had a pretty positive upbringing with two parents who really love eachother, but he sort of... talks down to them? sometimes in a way thats almost classist (he refers to his parents work area [or their home? idk] as a 'fishing-shack') and rude (criticizing their enjoyment of their profession in a way he doesnt understand or "unoptimized") and its like. the way he talks about his grandfather and the way he talks about his parents are very different. Mint never brings up his mom and dad, but brings up his grandpa. so, like, whats going on there? were his parents absent a lot on fishing trips?

chances are he has a good relationship with his parents. hes canonically confirmed to write them AT LEAST about events important to his life (he mentions telling them when he starts dating you, his 3.14%) so it doesnt seem unhealthy. and he is generally pretty tone deaf and i dont really think hes fully cognizant of the nuances of him talking down on his parents. i doubt its one of active resentment but like dude its so unsexy of you the way you talk about your mom and dad im bone dry over here

i think about qi and mint reflecting on their shared childhood semi frequently as suggested by some of their reflections on it in fwb:mwrm. qi goes through a lot of changes through his canonical 'character arc' and he starts putting more effort into his social responsibilities and it makes me wonder like...

-Mint is very family oriented in portia, having had none growing up in the orphanage and craving the opportunity to start one, where as qi seems to be pretty flippant about his up until he gets married and has a family of his own. does that ever create any difficulties between them? Would Qi talk about his parents the same way infront of mint?

-When do you think Qi really changed his mindset from aloofness to his now very progress oriented track of mind? did it impact their relationship at all?

-Mint and Qi both confirm that they remember the old creations they made together. how does seeing qi realize some of what they'd discussed change their relationship?

i like their friendship. i see them like distant siblings i guess. i can't see myself writing anything devoted to it outside of fwb but i feel like qi has a lot of intricacies that people dont pay attention to. his relationship with mint is clearly very important to him even if he has an ...interesting way of showing it (mint breaks his equipment and he's barely mad, bronco touches his equipment and he'll 'never forgive him') and thus the builders/his partners relationship with mint is probably also pretty important. and mints relationship with his kid if he ever has one ('uncle mint' is a VERY cute idea).

i also love the idea of him going to a festival with the builder. any of them. ohhhhh i just know he'd fucking love winning at the prophunt one

[celaenyx]

Man I have so many questions for a therapist. Real dumb ones. Like why do I feel shame at feeling like I want someone... romantic styles. There's this nagging feeling like I'm 'desperate' for feeling that way.

How much is a healthy amount to care what people think. I'm always 0 or 100 I can never find a good balance for how to respond or feel.

Obviously there's only so much in your own control too. I want to progress and change for the better but I don't actually know what that means. I care about things in a passive way most of the time. Its hard to apply myself or commit fully to work, hobbies, now even video games. Wish I could afford a therapist for these questions. At least I have this platform.

I appreciate tumblr because it's what I want to use social media for. I can be wholly authentic because of anonymity. I'm unafraid of making social mistakes in what I'm saying. But I'm still "getting it out".

Having social anxiety can make it hard to join groups or make friends online or real. I have people in my life I care about but there's this deep seated feeling of otherness.

Trying to see from everyone's perspective at once to be as considerate as possible is a habit I fall into a lot. Its not entirely negative but the burn out is soul destroying.

I spent years wanting to be 'perfect'. Ideally when people talk about you they'd say that you're fun or kind or thoughtful. Connecting with people has always been a strange mission I gave myself. One I feel like I fail at repeatedly. Maybe it's narcissism or perfectionism or anxiety. A mix of all.

I want to be loved as I love and right now I'm hurting a little because there's no one I feel this really applies to in my life. I have people that love me so I'm glad but not in this meaningful way from before. Maybe that's just how it feels as we put less faith in relationships as we age. But I'm sure my friendships felt so important, I felt love for the people in my life so intensely. I don't feel like that anymore really. I care for my siblings and that's about it. Is it because of an internal craving never satiated for socialisation. I'm not sure. I don't see many people in my day to day. I want a normal life with a job, sort friends and a task to continue completing that's satisfying to work on

[suckitsurveys]

Any recent purchases? We bought a new toaster oven last night.

Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Yes.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? Nope, I have no interest in that, even before I found out JK Rowling was an awful human being.

Do you still have both of your parents? No, my mom passed away almost 10 years ago.

Do you live very far away from Kansas? Kansas City, KS, is about 8 hours away from Chicago.

Do you enjoy cuddling? Yes.

Do you play video games? Rarely, unless aps on my phone count haha.

How many colors are in your hair right now? It’s a couple shades of light pink right now.

Do you have your full license yet? Yeah.

Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? Yes.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? No, he doesn’t.

Do you prefer winter or summer? SUMMER.

Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Yes.

Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? I don’t mind a little PDA, but not too much.

Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Nope.

Where are your siblings as of now? My sister is at work.

What color shirt are you wearing as of now? Green.

What is your favorite class? I’m not in school anymore, thank fucking god.

Are you in love with someone right now? Yes.

Can you speak any other languages than the one you’re fluent in? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak a little Spanish.

Do you take a lot of photos? Eh, enough.

When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? I don’t remember thinking that.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Yes.

Where do you download music from? I just use Spotify to listen to music.

Have you ever attempted suicide? No.

Do you know what ‘irony’ means? I do.

How many pillows do you normally sleep with? 4.

Do you lose your remote often? No, its always on the table.

Have you ever skipped class before? Yeah.

Are you a regular school skipper? There was one semester in college where I just stopped going because I fucking hated it so much but instead of telling my parents, my mom would drop me off and I’d just walk to the train and ride that back and forth until it was time for her to pick me up.

Do you have any Pay-per-View channels? Is that even a thing anymore?

Who, in your life, makes you feel discouraged? Just myself.

When was the last time you went bowling? It’s been a while. I wouldn’t mind going again soon.

Do you ever suspect your significant other of lying to you? Yeah, but just about little shit.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? Yes, I make the mashed potatoes, pumpkin pies, and green bean casserole from scratch. And I mean right down to homemade mushroom soup and french fried onions.

Is there anything bothering you right now? Eh.

Would you like to talk to someone about it? I probably should.

Do you live by any major bodies of water? Yes, Lake Michigan.

Do you tend to make the first move in a relationship? I mean, I sometimes make the first move with Mark.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? I do.

How many times have you been to Disney World, if any? Never. I have no desire to spend money there.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Yes.

Have you ever been accused of being on drugs when you weren’t? Yes.

Do you have a more quiet or loud voice? I’d say I have a quiet voice.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot? About 6 or 7 months ago when I got a covid booster and flu shot.

Can you play any instruments? If so, what are those instruments? No. I wish I could.

Do you have any diseases? Probably.

Have you ever been into a car accident? Just little fender benders.

[zombiecourse]

First of all. "They're just fictional" is such a weird defense like? "Oh I'm not a pedophile, I just enjoy FICTIONAL pedophilia" why do you enjoy pedophelia at all?? In any context?? Same goes for incest ships??

"theyre just fictional" is a defense because no real people are being harmed directly by the action of writing fanfiction, or drawing fanart. people can enjoy fictional pedophilia for a variety of reasons, ranging from they were abused to they enjoy the story potential.

You are actively violating creator boundaries. "Proshipping doesn't harm anyone" yeah. It. It does. Content creators shouldn't be scared of creating characters that are minors cause y'all will ship them with literal adults. People do not want their characters in the disgusting contexts proshippers put them in. And if anyone says "well they never explicitly said they were against Proshipping" THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TOO. Nobody should have to fucking explain they don't want their characters drawn in relationships with their SIBLINGS or with people twenty years older.

here's the thing about writing - you cannot control how people see your work. you could use the excuse of "creators shouldn't be scared of their characters being put in contexts/situations they don't like" to attack all fanwork.

"Let people enjoy what they want to enjoy and if you don't like it look away" Look. People are always going to create disgusting content of minors and put it on the internet, and you just have to avoid it. But that should be a BAD thing that those things exist! It shouldn't be someone thing people are making MORE of and enjoying! And by creating an actual market for that content that greatly increases the probability more people will see it! If you're so depraved and desperate go get off alone on whatever add riddled site you can find that will give you what you want and leave the rest of us alone if you have too. Don't try and make a fucking COMMUNITY about it.

if its of actual, real minors- i agree! people should not be making videos or pictures of real life minors in sexual situations. but fanfiction isn't of real minors, and doesn't involve exploiting real children in any way. and if youre referring to ao3 or the tumblr proship community at the end there- ao3 was made for these kinds of things, fancontent that other sites shunned. as for tumblr nearly any community can carve its own corner out here.

This sort of ties in to creator boundaries. But I want to make a short note of it. As a writer who wishes to publish my work one day, proshippers are a big reason why I haven't published anything or put any of my actual content and characters on the internet. My characters for the most part are MINORS, not to mention very personal to me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable at the idea of people sexualizing them even in "normal" context, let alone shipping them with their siblings and adults. That isn't okay. You are stopping me, and probably who knows how many, creators from sharing what they love with people because you will ruin it for them.

if you publish your work, and legally have copywrite over your stories, and i mean this sincerely and if any part of this post gets through to you, i hope its this: do not look at fanworks. do not read fanfiction. it can, and has, gotten creators sued.

and back to my previous point: you cannot control how other people see your stories. if the mere possibility of people seeing your stories in a way you don't like makes you want to not publish, then maybe publishing isn't for you.

About Proshipping/Proshippers.

I know this is pretty out of place on my blog(with really nothing on it anyways but oh well) but I have a few very important things to say, because some Twitter people have begun a slow migration back here somehow

First of all. "They're just fictional" is such a weird defense like? "Oh I'm not a pedophile, I just enjoy FICTIONAL pedophilia" why do you enjoy pedophelia at all?? In any context?? Same goes for incest ships??

Second of all and this is my main point,

You are actively violating creator boundaries. "Proshipping doesn't harm anyone" yeah. It. It does. Content creators shouldn't be scared of creating characters that are minors cause y'all will ship them with literal adults. People do not want their characters in the disgusting contexts proshippers put them in. And if anyone says "well they never explicitly said they were against Proshipping" THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TOO. Nobody should have to fucking explain they don't want their characters drawn in relationships with their SIBLINGS or with people twenty years older.

"Let people enjoy what they want to enjoy and if you don't like it look away" Look. People are always going to create disgusting content of minors and put it on the internet, and you just have to avoid it. But that should be a BAD thing that those things exist! It shouldn't be someone thing people are making MORE of and enjoying! And by creating an actual market for that content that greatly increases the probability more people will see it! If you're so depraved and desperate go get off alone on whatever add riddled site you can find that will give you what you want and leave the rest of us alone if you have too. Don't try and make a fucking COMMUNITY about it.

This sort of ties in to creator boundaries. But I want to make a short note of it. As a writer who wishes to publish my work one day, proshippers are a big reason why I haven't published anything or put any of my actual content and characters on the internet. My characters for the most part are MINORS, not to mention very personal to me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable at the idea of people sexualizing them even in "normal" context, let alone shipping them with their siblings and adults. That isn't okay. You are stopping me, and probably who knows how many, creators from sharing what they love with people because you will ruin it for them.

So the next time you say "Proshipping doesn't harm anyone!!" reread this post.

That's all folks.