#its a rant really but i got nostalgic from the other post

[virtualpusheenz]

YAP FEST ALERT

(Just me talking about my experience with the pastel goth style and 2014-2016 era.) Pre warning it’s a whole lot of rant. lolol!!

Pastel goth fashion has always been a huge thing for me. Starting when I was around 8-9 years old. Having social media at that age I was in online communities a lot. I lived in a pretty average place where being a bit different was seemed as negative or inappropriate. the style seemed perfect for me due to the fact I both enjoyed goth and kawaii themes at the time, so seeing them combined made pastel goth a favourite of mine.

Obviously the style isn't as popular as it once was, and being alternative isn't looked down/judged as much as it used to be. I'm glad more people are accepting of different styles now.

I've only got into pastel goth now I'm a bit older due to experimenting with other styles beforehand. I was a bit too young when pastel goth was at its peak. I was aware of the style but couldn't afford/DIY my own stuff. However I'm older and even though its not a huge thing as it used to be I still cant let go of the fashion style. Its not only nostalgic for me but I just still enjoy the looks I can make with it now.

(also I was a bit of a tom-boy irl during pastel goths peak. Though I was secretly obsessed with kawaii and pink online </3.)

I craved to be girly but for some reason I thought I'd be liked more for being more masculine? I'm not sure if I was being a pick me or trying to be not like other girls but I definitely regret wasting my time not being able to express who I wanted to be back then.

The style allows for personal expression, with participants varying the balance between Goth and Kawaii elements. (quoted from https://aesthetics.fandom.com/wiki/Pastel_Goth)

Obviously like other people back in 2014-2016 I was a big fan of Melanie Martinez, she was a big thing for me due to her fashion and hair styles, Unfortunately I don't follow her anymore.. Mainly I just didn't enjoy her newer music and I wont even begin with the allegations made against her.

Other artists I enjoyed back then were Halsey, MARINA, Lorde, Arctic monkeys, panic at the disco, Lana del ray, The neighbourhood and The killers.

A lot of these I still listen to now and then. But these artists especially MARINA, Halsey and Melanie inspired me back then with their looks/themes of their music.

Before anime became a norm, I used to be a huge anime fan. (I got bullied so hard lolol) You wasn't OG if you didn't watch anime on YouTube in like 100 parts to avoid copyright. xD. Anime's like future diary, sailor moon, Perfect Blue, Fairy tale and Maid sama. I was a huge fan of anime romance..

Part of me is really happy anime is popular to the extent it is now, but the younger version of me was a little gatekeeper and grudges how I was bullied for it just for it to become popular.

I think sailor moon got me into kawaii fashion, anime then leading me into Japanese fashion styles which pastel goth originated from, the Gurokawa (Creepy Cute) aesthetic.

Whilst goth wise I got into from horror movies and the fact I was really into horror games and creepypasta as a child. Therefore mixing the two aesthetics.

I love the quirkiness of pastel goth and 2014-2016. Yes the era was quite toxic but I choose to remember the goodness of it, silly cat edits, Nyan cat, Grumpy cat, Pusheen, sparkles, eye balls, unicorns and those odd but cool edits of Disney princesses covered in tattoos and glasses.

I think what I try achieve in my blog is the fun and weird side of pastel goth. I'd like to excuse the harsh standards of that era like ED or romanticised toxic relationships/misogyny. I'm not a hateful person so obviously I'm aware people still struggle with these things and they do have history with the style, but for my own sake Id rather not post about them on my own blog.

I knowww that's a lot of yap but I find it genuinely fun to talk about the era and how I remember it. Kinda like a diary for me ig? I hope ppl can relate :,)

[jerry-the-leech]

I lowkey wanna cry rn for no reason but for all the reasons at the same time

Please yap to me about smth I need to talk to someone about literally anything I feel like I’m going insane

(There’s a high chance my periods just coming)

hi lovely <3 (sorry I haven’t responded to your earlier post yet)

I’m sorry:( I know the feeling 🫂🫂🫂

Okayyyy so yap time!! I’m going to do my best giving the fact the I am typing this on my phone

I’m in DC! On a school trip!! Idk if this information I should be revealing online but whatever I’m not actually saying where I live I’m traveling. we got here on Sunday and then spent the day walking around for ten miles. We saw the Lincoln Memorial, Washington monument, and the National mall and then also the Capitol. at the National mall we got ice cream and the guy was very nice and instead of 6 bucks per ice cream it was 5

idk there is something about being in the Capitol of America that makes me really hopeful and really hopeless at the same time

Idk if you have heard of “mr. Smith goes to Washington” but it is a great movie and you should totally watch it. But tbh I feel like Mr. smith. I know how corrupted and horrible and awful our government is, I know how corrupt the founders of our nation actually were, and being in the Capitol amongst ostentatiously grand buildings representing the “values of America” makes me nostalgic for what could have been, but also can never be.

DC is such a beautiful city! I really love walking around it and it’s very aesthetic too. Here are some pics I got last night

those are from our walk last night. We also went to a super cool corner with lots of street art!

Yesterday we went to the Smithsonian. Sk, Ember, and three other children were in a group with me, but we split apart and just had me, child, child. Sk and ember and child went ahead. And I really liked it!! We saw the giant squid, we walked through the star and insect wing, dinosaur hall, bone hall, African voices, gems and minerals, and maybe there was another one I am forgetting lmao

and from the gift shop I got a t shirt. It was really funny bc sk and ember both got a pin and a mug respectively with the exact same design on it and we didn’t even plan it.

I also got a ceramic porcelain crane and a ring

I wanted to get a book but I was getting SUPER stressed out by the gift shop so then I didn’t get it. Oh and a bracelet. It’s made of hematite so it’s pretty heavy and I like it bc it’s very calming. Sort of like a portable weighted blanket.

oh also on Sunday we went to a bunch of war memorials and i found it very cool. It made me very philosophical and I might post some poems about it later

yesterday we also went to the holocaust museum and memorial. Tbh I was not expecting to be affected as much as I was. Probably going to post some poems and rants about that too

but basically we all went through it at our own pace, and I was one of the last theee to leave. Overall I probably spent about 2.5 hours in there.

I almost cried but also not. It was a powerful memorial.

then today we went to the Air and Space museum. It was cool and I got a hat, an airplane model for my brother, and a pair of solar system earrings

we scheduled a visit to the planetarium and THEN I GOT SO FUCKING POSSED

THE LADY THERE NOT ONLY TREATED US LIKE KINDERGARDENETS

SHE WAS ALOS SPREADING MISINFORMATION AND CLEARLY DIDNNT KNOW WHAT SHE WAS ALTALKING ABOUT

I was asking her questions about Greek and Roman myths behind the constellations and planets and also about some other facts and she either didn’t know or answered incorrectly.

SHE TREATED US LIKE CHILDREN

also there as another school there which POSSED ME OFF

YOU GUYS ARE OUR AGE

ACT MORE FUCKING MATURE YESS I GET YOURE TEENAGE BOUS BUT COME ON

JUST BECAUSE SHE TREATED US LIKE CHILDREN SOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE THEM

ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD

anyways. I’m so angry at that lady

and yeahhhwe just had lunch at the African American museum of history and culture and it was SO GOOD. I’m typing this from the free Wi-Fi. We are about to go explore

Sorry this is so long you 100% don’t need to respond to all of it

I hope you enjoyed reading

also you will be getting yapped to about my book ideas and it will be great

thank you for sending me an ask lovely I appreciate you

I hope you feel better ❤️

[rockinrolli]

wow i haven’t posted on here in forever! but really needed a space to just rant for a sec. please forgive the fact this is all rambles and probably won’t make much sense.

i’m sure everyone is feeling a bit like this right now but the tiktok ban has been really messing with me; and it’s only been a few hours. there was so much back n forth on the app of if it would be banned or not. i felt so obligated to spend the entirety of my day today doom scrolling to consume as much content as i could; but just felt more dread from all the goodbyes. once it was banned i had called my friends and they didn’t seem to care much since they were more into insta reels/ didn’t have the app anymore and i guess it just made me feel isolated and embarrassed to admit that i was really sad about the ban.

i had a very early viral video when tiktok had just became tiktok from musically and it changed so much for my life. now i was not an influencer, and i wasn’t even in the video i had posted; but it gave me a platform to talk to others and find a community. there were so many creators that i learned so much from; at times i feel i learned more on that app than i did during my time in college due to 3 years of my college life being during the covid 19 lockdown. i was able to connect with other parts of the world and get exposure to so much that i feel has helped mold me during my young adult life now.

seeing the app still there on my phone but knowing i’m unable to use it is a very weird feeling. i know it’s an app and there’s more to life, i shouldn’t be so attached and there’s other social media and ways to connect but i have this nostalgic appreciation for everything i got from tiktok.

on a deeper level, i suppose it’s more than just the app tiktok itself; it’s a fear of what this means for the future of my country. knowing it comes down to control, money, censorship, etc. and feelings that my anger is being subdued by others around me by “it’s just an app” causes myself more frustration.

i moved away from my home state a month after i graduated college and was the only one of my friends to do so. i moved across the country by myself because i wanted to get out of my bubble. i wanted to learn more. in that i have been very isolated and alone and struggle talking to my friends back in my home state because its not something they have experienced. tiktok for me was a way to feel i had community. and being told by my friends it’s not a big deal has made me tear up after our calls because again; there’s just this huge sense of isolation i have not having someone to relate to and the place i felt i could find that is now on a ban. i don’t know if it will be temporary or forever but im either way going to try and find a way to ground myself in the mean time.

normally this is the kind of thing i’d just scribble into a journal privately but i thought i’d post it here in the off chance someone can relate and maybe it can make someone else feel a little less disconnected right now. again i didn’t go back to check spelling or grammar so don’t clown me plz. this isn’t meant to be prolific or a hot opinion take; im just sad and trying right now.

[bluberimufim]

This is gonna be a rant!

I don't usually make this kind of post but whatever. When I was like 13/14 I used to be really into this visual novel/dating sim called The Arcana. I remember being very invested in the story and the art was really pretty and inspired me a lot at the time. I ended up never finishing the game for reasons I don't remember but the other day I was feeling nostalgic and wanted closure for the central mystery bc I never actually got that far.

Except when I started playing it yesterday, I noticed that the 5 prologue chapters were different from what I remembered. Namely, they had been shortened by A LOT. And I'm sure this isn't a case of my memory being warped by 6 years of not touching the game.

Yesterday, I finished the entire prologue in an hour, but I remember it taking me much, much longer in the past. It took me days to get to the reveal that Portia and Julian are siblings and even more days to get to the meeting with thosr counselors with similar-looking names (I have a bad memory for names, sorry). And I did all of that in 45 minutes. I also remember there being scenes in the prologue that are simply not there or were rushed through. I remember spending much more time in the palace library, or hanging out with Nadia in the gardens or the balcony, or there being a whole scene where the mc stumbled into Lucio's wing a second time, followed by a choice of possibly sneaking out of the palace and having a much longer conversation with Julian at the tavern where I think you actually got a point towards his route?

And the thing I noticed is that the game now seems much more interested in pushing "premium choices" that require coins to unlock (which you can earn as you progress but you mostly buy with real money through in-game purchases). The prologue used to have two or three when I played it for the first time?? And now, in those 5 (now short) chapters, there's around 10. And coupled with the rushed-through prologue, it feels like the game is purposefully putting its plot behind a paywall. And idk how it is with the routes, but when I was 14 I got halfway through Asra and Julian's routes and there were only 2 or so premium choices in what I played.

I just got to the part where you can choose the routes and I honestly don't know if I wanna keep playing. Like, I still want to solve the mystery and see at least one ending but with all this, idk if I have it in me. I just feel so disappointed by how this game has changed over the years.

Sorry for this long rant, I'm just kinda sad.

[derekscorner]

Remember Kingdom Hearts Chi?

Well my young friend I certainly do

Hi, hello there again friend or reader or ye old bored soul. Gotta say its been a week for me. First a Fate post after a long while and now a KH post. What a week for my endless shower thoughts~

This week has been quite a ride hasn't it? First you had Missing Link cancelled then immediately got KH4 screen shots. There's jokes I could make (and have) or complaints an older me would raise but no.

This entire event has sparked talk about whether the mobile gaming story line was good or bad for the series direction overall. This, oddly enough, got me nostalgic.

Why? Because all the talk of what KHUX "used to be" made me realize that a lot of younger fans don't know what KH Chi is. It's been so long now but so few remember that KHUX was a rebrand.

The tale of the keyblade war was originally a web browser game. Still free to play, albeit locked to Japan if I recall, way back in the yonder years of 2013.

Look at that banger title screen

You're likely wondering why that'd make me nostalgic when it was Japan only. Well, for one, the region lock did not hamper fans at the time. Even though I never played it we still had forums of people in Japan or who could read the language that'd play it share the story.

And that story was, quite frankly, good. Now now before you throw hypocrisy at me let me make one thing clear. I may be critical of what KHUX became and what it did to the story but I've never said it's initial premise wasn't good.

In fact, UX had things that even I could enjoy even if I didn't like what it was doing in a broader sense. It's a ramble for another day mind you but one of those things worthy of praise was the initial story.

See that? Originally it was cards like CoM rather than medals

For the near entirety of Chi's original run it was a self contained story. It had intrigue, it had an air of Greek tragedy since we know the war was unavoidable, and it had a simpler mystery of the disappearance of the 'master of masters' and his sixth apprentice.

That's all there was to it. No characters being shoehorned into the past, no datascapes, or other such things. It was just a simple story of a world marching headlong into it's death.

Perfectly self contained.

It was quite frankly interesting. After seeing Xehanort do all his machinations over an unseen war we were getting to see how that war happened. It was a perfect hook.

Despite my old man ranting I have no problem with side games or stories in a series. If anything, they can be a fun way to flesh out a world without dealing with the main storyline or character.

It is one issue I have with Nomura to this day, his inability to just let a story be a story. It always has to tie into what Sora is doing or the present events.

No, this isn't some Anti-Nomura tag or hidden post. I don't even like that tag tbh. I have my gripes but it is also true that corporate has bared down on him over the years. I only point it out here because he is the main writer/director.

And I feel this need of his to make everything super relevant hurt this story.

Furries the lot of them

The initial story of Chi was actually good. Granted, I should've seen the writing on the wall when it ended with you waking up from a "dream" and Maleficent showing up.

(fun fact, the start of KHUX was actually the ending for Chi that a lot of later players to UX were skipped through)

But prior to that ending you didn't have any time travel shenanigans or the like. It was a straight forward story. Hell, even if you factor in the dream eaters and dandelions there was till a neat story there.

it didn't really lose itself until the UX rebrand when all that came barreling in. And while I often say this hurt the future story I rarely mention the fact that I think this hurt Chi's story as well.

Just as the mobile games gained a choke hold on the future events they became chained by tying that together in the past. You now had to explain how Ventus got to BBS, you now had to tie it into Marluxia and Elrena, and this even stretched to Xehanort through Dark Road later.

Many like that kinda thing in the fandom I know but I feel it hampered the chance for something truly original to flesh itself out.

Realistically, all you needed to tie to the present day was explain how someone (or a group) survived to begin the keyblade tradition that would be ancient in Sora's time.

And while I'm a staunch fan of Occams Razor I'm not even arguing that Chi needed to be kept super simple. You could've had that as big a mess as you wanted and it would've been fine since it was self contained.

We often joke about all the Xehanort's and Sora's but Chi in it's original form was something that could've made a mark without them. All you had to do was remove that Maleficent cliffhanger.

We could've seen how the world operated when it was still one. Perhaps even see how the pureblood heartless came to be. The potential there was endless and thinking about it makes me sad because it was chained to the modern events.

And I'm not even arguing that UX, Dark Road, or even Missing Link should've had existed. It would've been fine if they had in this self contained context since they would be their own events...well not Dark Road but at least UX and Missing Link.

To me, the worst part about all of this wasn't just the wasted potential for something truly unique but that the practice of making KH mobile incredibly relevant completely undercut the endeavor to stop the console spread issue of the day.

Before remixes you couldn't find a KH1 or KH2 final mix state side and many of the titles building toward KH3 back then were on scattered handheld systems.

It was a serious problem and one that began with Chain of Memories. So many started KH2 lost back then.

And even when it was "resolved" the mobile story line had grown so important that was shaping scenes in KH3. Hell, it even got a movie in the 2.8 remix even though that movie didn't give you anywhere near enough to fully grasp the story happening in that era.

It's this aspect of the mobile games that many argue about. I'm rambling about wasted story potential but for many the core issue was that locked away lore and genuinely good story moments KHUX had.

Especially with UX unplayable at the time of this posts creation. To even grasp the Luxu reveal in KH3 you'd have to sit through some youtube scenes.

Hours of it if you wanted a full understanding since some stuff did happen in world missions sporadically.

Ray Chase is the one thing selling this character right now

I've rambled myself out of words so I'll end here. I am not sure how well I got my feelings out but here we are. Thank you for reading~

And if you're one of those sad about KHML's cancellation I'd advise you to have hope. As I said, Nomura is chronic about tying everything back into itself. Whatever was in Missing Link will not be left to rot.

You just may not get it in the form you were hoping for.

Either way, remember kids, Verum Rex is now owned by Disney! Farewell~

[alchemicaladarna]

Welp. The day is here. The final day of the qsmp.

And um. I think I kept this blog mostly positive throughout it all. So you guys don't mind if I rant for just a little bit if that's ok.

Yes, I do feel sad and melancholic about everything, as well as nostalgic for the good old memories, but idk I can't help but feel bitter and angry and toxic about today and I'm trying so hard not to.

Like I'm trying to look on the bright side right? No one's truly gone. The people are still there, the relationships they have formed on the server, even from across the world will always remain.

We'll probably have more Etoiles playing valo with Foolish and Tina, more Fitpac stardew valley streams, more Fruit Mountain tournaments, etc. and maybe in the future everyone, including the ex admins can reunite in a huge lobby and play games together (qsmp jackbox pleaseee)

And we have so many good memories and good outcomes from the qsmp, because without the server, we'll still have this seemingly impossible to overcome cultural divide between everyone, and I think it did accomplish its goal of uniting communities. But...you know.

I can't help but feel bitter and angry today because I've continued to hold on to hope that things will get better. And like, at the beginning of the year I really thought the qsmp was gonna last like. 2? 3 years at most maybe? And with how passionate everyone was about the project- the fans, CC's, especially the admins- it really felt like the server could go on forever. But. Here we are.

And I want to tell myself that it's inevitable all things come to an end, but I think the reason why I feel so bitter is because it didn't have to end this way and so soon.

We could've had more stories, more lore, more communities, more people. More memories. And I know I should be grateful that we got so many good memories in the first place and we'll still make new and better memories, but I also can't help but feel everyone was robbed of so many good things.

And the worst part is we'll probably never know exactly why it had to end. I believed with all my heart that things could be fixed you know? And just like that it's over and we'll never know why.

I'm not entitled to the details. I don't need to know. It's not mine, nor any other fan's business to speculate.

I'll make peace with all of this and put that question to rest someday- we all will, I think. But for now, that question of why will always stick with me in the back of my head.

And I'm sorry, but I am angry. And I am bitter. And I am sad. I'm grateful and I will always look back on this server with fondness...

But not today. And I don't know, or necessarily want anything to come from this post, but I hope I'm not alone in feeling this way at least.

[lees-chaotic-brain]

hooray!! congrats on the good news, i hope the streak continues!

okay i'm glad you won't be uncomfortable with the stuff i interact with. i didn't bother with any warnings on my blog bc i'm mostly here to consume things and don't expect too many people to wander by lol. but! since i have been coming out of my lil lurker basement lately i finally at least added a color scheme to it so i look less like a bot.

oh man oh man where to start on tea and jackets? what are your go-to's for either? i'm kind of a tea purist-i prefer tea the east asian (chinese/japanese/korean) way, just pure tea leaves and occasional aromatics with no additional sugar or cream unless i'm specifically making a milk tea. i don't really like herbal teas. i want that camellia sinensis in my shit. my default tea rn is probably hojicha. i made a sunrise burnt basque hojicha cheesecake and though the layers didn't come out as cleanly as i wanted it tasted lovely. a tumblr friend on here inspired me to try out the burnt basque with a FANTASTIC green thai tea i have next! (if you're in the market for the green thai tea and are usa-based i cannot recommend it enough. it's so unique bc green thai is uncommon in the states already, and most of it comes from the powder packets but the one i have is all whole ingredients, no extracts or dye or flavor enhancements and it is DIVINE. sooo fragrant with pandan and vanilla and mint. i will scarf down anything with pandan in it but this is especially lovely)

i basically only own leather jackets or blazers, i have an embarassing amount of both. i did just do a closet purge with a friend's help though and i am proud of say i got rid of like, 16 college-era (p)leather jackets and blazers that had seen better days/are no longer in style

ty for sticking around for my D1 yapping!

dw abt it LMAO. it's not super apparent, but if you look close enough you can see my inner hoe poking through in my tags, so yes. i definitely consume smut and dark content and am looking forward to seeing your stuff on my dash 🤭

omg and for tea? i literally drink any and all kinds of tea. so again, if you've been on my blog long enough/look closely i'm pretty sure i've mentioned it before but i'm half korean, and i while i love all kinds of tea, the tea my mom made for me are nostalgic and bring me comfort. i almost always drink my teas plain (chai being the only exception) or with a little bit of honey.

i LOVE herbal teas. i can't really drink a ton of caffeine with my adhd meds or i genuinely start tweaking. like twitching and all that shit, so i normally drink other teas even though i really enjoy green and black teas :')

THAT TEA AND CHEESECAKE BOTH SOUND SO GOOD OMG

i'm a sucker for jackets and boots, and while i don't have too many, i definitely own a few, but i'll probably reblog this post and rant about them later lmao

if you're interested, here is a comprehensive list of my top ten favorite teas (in no particular order), how i drink them, and why. thank you for attending my lecture.

1. you are so right about hojicha. i love green tea, but my absolute favorite variation of green tea is nokcha. i love the extra flavor the brown rice brings to it. i normally drink it plain, but if i'm feeling fancy i'll steam a little milk and add a drizzle of honey

2. this definitely isn't korean, but when i was little my mom would make me this tea and it was so, so, so, good. it's basically just a stick of cinnamon, some apples slices up, orange and lemon peel, and a little bit of honey boiled together for like an hour. it's literally my favorite thing to drink in the fall bc it just warms me up from the inside

3. oksusu-cha. it's basically a korean tea made from roasted corn kernels and i really, really, like it. it's different from a lot of teas in the sense that it's almost savory, but its taste is very unique and almost earthy? idk how to describe it but i highly recommend trying it. i always drink it plain, but pouring it over heukmi bap (korean purple rice) and eating is also amazing

4. earl gray. i know this one is very british and different from the rest of the teas i drink, but i love having a cup of it once in a while! i drink it black sometimes, but i'll also drink it with either lemon and honey, or a little milk and honey

5. chamomile my love. i love love love a nice cup of chamomile before bed while i'm reading a book! i almost always drink it plain, but if i'm on my period i add a spoonful of honey

6. hibiscus tea. while this isn't necessarily my favorite taste wise, it brings back a lot of memories from when i was little and would go to a cafe with my mom. not to say i don't enjoy the flavor, it's just a little too sweet and a little too tart for me to drink a lot of

7. gyulpi cha. it's a korean citrus peel tea (not unlike #2) and it's really, really, good. i always drink it plain.

8. chai. this is the only type of tea i drink with a ton of stuff in it. i'm currently boycotting starbucks, but i love their iced chai latte with sweet cream foam. during fall i normally get it with some pumpkin flavoring lol. however i barely consider the drink tea at this point lmao

9. lavender tea. i absolutely love a cup of lavender tea before bed. i always drink it plain, and think the scent is so calming!

10. and finally lilac tea. i love lilacs. growing up we had a massive lilac bush and the smell always brings me back. i really enjoy its subtly sweet and floral flavor, and always drink it plain.

anyways, that's it for the tea lmao.

[raycyel]

That post about edgy OCs got me thinking about OC development over time and now I wanna talk about it without clogging their tags with unrelated shit so here we go. Its also an excuse for me to put some OC info in one spot to be able to find it again later (;

Edgy OCs are really fun to make and I have nothing against them for sure, but there’s something really nice and personal about taking a previously edgy OC and making them not edgy anymore. Not through character development but through like retconning and redesigning them.

Hadley is my longest running and main OC despite the fact that I never write or draw her lol. I’ve had her since 6th grade, so around 10 years (yeowch that number hurts). My friend was writing a avatar x divergent esc young adult original story (as one does in 6th grade if you’re not busy writing minecraft fanfic like I was) and she asked me to make a character. Basic plot was that some people had element powers and were being hunted down for them because they were “dangerous”. I made Hadley as a shadow wielder, and as is standard with these kinds of stories, her parents were dead and she was on the run and life was shit for her.

My friend eventually stopped writing that story. I now had Hadley back to do whatever the fuck I wanted with her. My other friend had also made a character for this story named Georgie and we had our two OCs date (this is how you test the waters if you’re both creatives btw because she is now my gf lol). She already had a different universe for Georgie, so I decided to put Hadley there and rework her a bit. In this universe, Georgie and her family are witches who go around and take care of paranormal stuff. Now Hadley became an unwilling test subject by a big bad company that turned her into this weird shadow monster thing.

Still edgy but in a different way. I was in highschool when I came up with that story.

I’m now a year away from graduating college. In my time I have been casually thinking about Hadley in the background. Not drawing or writing anything, but just thinking. Now I’m really having fun with her.

She’s 1/4 shadow creature on her mom’s side, so shes lived with them her entire life. There was an old abandoned log cabin in the woods that she lives in. She has a garden and a well outside, the cabin itself is in very good shape. She knows the woods like the back of her hand and knows trespassers aren’t welcome, so she tries to keep people out by warning them. She is 100% used to people never listening to her and disappearing into the woods to never come out. With every disappearance, the shadow creatures leave her with new gifts that look familiar. She’s silly, goofy, pretty laid back, kinda smug, but a bit unsettling and unhinged (she was raised by big creatures who kill people that trespass into their territory, a bit of weird is to be expected).

She meets Georgie in the same way she meets everyone else. Georgie came out to investigate rumors of people going missing, belongings being taken, and strange creatures around the edges of towns. While Georgie wanders, Hadley appears out of nowhere and gives her same cryptic warning “these here forests are dangerous, don’t go wandering around in ‘em. I’d leave while you still can,” with that same off-putting, sly smile she always delivers her warnings with. It has a rehearsed feeling to it, like she’s said these exact words to hundreds of people (she has). Georgie is especially interested in this interaction because she knows shes in the middle of dangerous shadow creature territory, yet here is this person completely unharmed and acting like she owns the place (she basically does).

Georgie starts asking questions because this kind of stuff is her job, she’s pretty used to the weirdness. Hadley keeps giving vague answers with that same air of casualty even as the sun starts to set. Eventually she says "Well, its late enough to where if you leave now, you wont get out of here in time," no explanation for what that means, "You can either go off on your own or come with me." Its an offer no one else has ever gotten because no one stayed around her long enough for her to offer it. Intrigued and seeing this as her best lead into her investigation, Georgie agrees.

They head back to Hadley’s quaint, well kept cabin, something that sticks out horribly in the middle of the of a forest with such a lethal history. At some point Georgie asks “If this area is so dangerous, how come you live out here?” Hadley barks out a laugh, her mouth opening far enough to reveal a glimpse of fangs larger and sharper than what any standard human should have for the first time. “Unlike everyone else, I’ve been out here for a very long time. I know what I’m doing.” She drops the topic.

Georgie eventually convinces Hadley to join her in her family’s witch business. Hadley ends up being a chaotic addition to the roster due to her having a semi-personal relationship with a lot of other mystical/supernatural groups. If the shadow creatures interacted with any other groups, she did as well. They’ll be trying to do an investigation and Hadley starts picking arguments with them because of some old feud or other thing (e.g. Hadley can realistically do the moonknight comic “Dracula, you bastard, you owe me money“ thing. That’s what inspired this part because its funny).

To summarize all that, shes got a family and is happy now where she never was before.

tldr: There’s something so personal about an OC changing with you as you grow up. Something something a piece of yourself is in everything you create and sometimes they help you see how much you’ve changed. Making edgy characters is fun and all, but for me and Hadley, her becoming less edgy is a reminder of how I don’t hate my life as much as I used to. Hadley is getting better and so am I :D

[neptune-midheaven]

The Third House Placements and Their Handwriting Styles ~💖🌺🐚

Welcome back babes 😁🙏✨ I’m back posting someee bit but anything nonetheless ! This was a post I wanted to do for a while, this really intrigued me💫

I’m going to be talking about third house placements and their unique to the placement writing styles. Third house rules hands, arms, fingers and writing, correct !😄🎶 There is a correlation between handwriting and third house in astrology as it literlaly rules over it, so components in your third house astrology will dictate how this will look. Use all of the possible combinations you have in your chart ! 🙂☝️

For generational planet ruled signs, use whatever works better.

🔆Sun/leo ~

May have a gift in being very dramatic and showy whenever they express their ideas or in their communication they can be very bright and charming. They’re very talented at absorbing knowledge and facts, they usually are the types of people to dish out random facts about anything whoever you’re talking to them, they have so much random knowledge kept in their minds it’s almost funny. They’re silly and a bit childlike people,

Handwriting style 🦁

Regal, nice looking. They have a confidence to their writing, if the whole class wrote on one piece of paper, theirs would stand out more, maybe a “I can trust what they write is the best there is here” is what people reading over theirs would think.

🌙Moon/cancer ~

Loves sentimental things, talking about the past and family makes them feel good and safe, attachments to the mother, most likely missed her or their family whenever they had to go to school, homesickness at school

Handwriting style 🌝

Soft, homely words. Shyer? They write with a grace and their words are poetically beautiful. It looks like something out of a movie. Nostalgic, their ink is softer and lighter, their curves are soft, their lines and o’s are soft and so sensitive. SO gentle and calm. It’s sleepy?

💫Mercury/gemini/virgo ~

The wittiest, most social people ever. They’re all definitely extroverts, I am one with my gemini in 3rd house ova here 😘, they love talking, and never stop talking and love chatting about anything and never stop chatting about anything, they love walking up to random people and never stop walking up to random people and staring a convo with them out of nowhere 😀. My friends bully me all the time for this. I understand. The one kid in school with like all the answers, they just knew the answer to things and easily got good grades. People asked them for answers all of the time since they are so smart and intelligent, they absorb what they’re being taught so quickly they don’t ever let the teacher finish talking. They’re fast and versatile.

Handwriting style 🤸‍♀️

Fast writing, so many words. They write super fast and probably have so many typos in their essays and papers. Handwriting can look like crap 🤨😐. Like there’s no rush, you’re gonna get your paper done on time! You can’t read what they write al of the time because they rush through writing everything. Their letters and words look fancy somehow, like they were written by the scholar of all scholars, they’re just unintelligible words and sentences. Teachers may need to ask what the student with this placement writes because they can’t read it. Scribbles, jumbled and mixing up things all over the page. You can tell they write fast with the jagged lines and crooked n’s and t’s ajakksks.

💕Venus/taurus/libra ~

Very sweet and charming way of talking to others, they have strong persuasive powers with their honeyed words, they can almost charm you into doing anything, they seem so innocent and sweet. These people are very kind though of course! They love giving others compliments, strangers, their friends, their family, they’re such sweet people to have in your life. They attract partners and relationships by doing their daily tasks, lovers can show up suddenly when they’re running errands or they can attract a lot of interest at their school.

Handwriting style 🍓

The most pleasant, aesthetic handwriting i have ever seen, even if their handwriting is bad it still becomes an art style somehow, i don’t really know how else to describe that. It’s like no matter how bad it could possibly look or how incoherent it is, their script still manages to look NICE.

💥Mars/aries ~

Very loud voices, a bit like sun, but it’s more like their power and strength is used whenever they talk. They could be meaner or aggressive classmates, angry talkers, I know so many people with this placement who talk so mad, so much cursing, ranting and screaming. We love it all.

Handwriting style 🥵

Very rough and fast handwriting, similar to mercury; however, it has more fervor, the messiest and most impulsive handwriting out of all of the other placements.

🐚Jupiter/sagittarius ~

Loud and expressive communicators, similar to the sun here, but they’re louder and bigger. You can hear their voices from across the room and they’re usually the know-it-all’s in the classroom. Very friendly and fun to talk to, they talk about so many exotic and interesting things. They love to crack a joke or two. Also, it’s something about these peoples voices are just FUNNY. Like how they talk is like hilarious and jolly in a good way. It make you wanna crack up and feel good. They make you feel good and BLESSED when they talk to you.

Handwriting style 🍀

Larger letters, I’ve noticed they have bigger “holes” and like to expand their letters over the pages, their words go over the lines and it could be messy usually, sort of like mars fashion but it’s just wider words on the paper.

🪐Saturn/capricorn ~

Very punctual people with perfect punctuation. They hate it whenever their thoughts are messy or unorganized, it makes it hard for them to think thoroughly like they are expected to. They’re the smarter most mature minds in the room. Very deep, daddy voices. IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT. THEY SOUND LIKE THEIR DADS. ITS CRAZY. They talk with so authority and sureness, their diction is so perfect it makes everyone mad.

Handwriting style ✏️

Perfect handwriting, they hate it when their sentences look off or unstructured on a page. The most rounded o’s, the straightest lines and perfect length for every letter they write. Correct punctuation once again, their words look like they were printed by a typewriter.

🌪Uranus/aquarius ~

Very different minds, they could feel strange or odd in school, like they were just the oddball learners, had weird interests, or was a huge nerd over so many subjects. Crazy coffee drinkers, the ones with monster drinks and twenty textbooks that are about to fall out of their open backpacks because they rushed to get to school on time. The craziest people actually, their minds are like on drugs, they can be hard to keep up with.

Handwriting style ⚡️

Weird ways they write certain styles of their letters and their words can “come out” of the page. They write SO fast this is usually why they take harder classes in school with more work just solely on the fact they can write much faster than anyone else. Maybe comic-book looking writing? They’re dynamic and crazy like harsh lines and crazy o’s, there’s something unique about the way they write.

🌊Neptune/pisces ~

Such idealistic thinkers. They want to see the good in their surroundings, they do need to be careful with this because surroundings and things can be deceiving. They can absorb such much of their surroundings, they can be quieter communicators because of this. It can be taken advantage of since they’re overwhelmed by conversations or they can be easily fooled by the wrong people. Like they believe things that aren’t even true? Or they like tell a lot of white lies when they’re talking that make people go like uhh is that even true?😀😀 But they play it off when they’re caught lying, it’s very deceptive. The quietest kids in school that either did drugs or tried to escape class by doing some illegal stuff, or they just left. Some were never seen at school.

Handwriting style 🌀

The sleepiest handwriting I’ve ever seen. It’s provably hard to read what they write. Faded words maybe? Faded words on faded paper. So poetic though, it’s pretty but not in a venus way, it like captivates you. It’s hypnotizing they way they draw out their e’s and their a’s have a dreamy tail that connects to their next letter.

🥀Pluto/scorpio ~

Obsessive minds, they want to know everything possible, they want to reach the deepest depths on information and knowledge. They are motived and driven to know as much as they can, and they always seem to succeed. They’re very smart. The kids in school who would keep to themselves or would obsess over what the teacher taught them, the way they communicate is like they’ve read the same page over and over again for days. Obsessive.

Handwriting style 🖤

Darker, hard to see words, they can have obsessive writing. It’s perfect but fast writing, maybe a bit scary that they have the ability to write so much with so much power? People can be freaked out with just how much they know already. So their words can be very persuasive, so the letters would be magnetic, you love their writing once you read one of their essays. You’re obsessed, just like they are.

[sparklingsad]

title: out of my mind (part 2)

characters: baji x reader, toman peeps 🤍

Prompt: you don’t know if you should tell baji you like him because is he even interested in other people?

summary: here is what happens while you wait for the Toman meeting to end. Some friendship flashbacks with Mikey, Draken and Mitsuya <3. A bit of what happened after the meeting!

a/n: There are some minor editing in the part 1 post of this fic (e.g. they met in middle school, not high school). THERE WOULD BE MORE BAJI IN THE SUCCEEDING CHAPTERS PLS IM SO SORRY SJFGAJK I'm trying to make the succeeding parts better because the first one was written at 2 am and I posted it out on impulse :D tysm for showing love to my writing though :')) you make me guys tear up ily all <3

Series List: Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

“I—“ you gulped.

Holy mother of forking shirtballs. What do I say?

“Oh hey y/n.” A calm voice came in front of you.

It’s Mitsuya.

And suddenly you felt like you’ve been fished out of the water when you felt like you’re going to die and drown, there he came, as reliable as ever.

“Mitsuya!” You practically almost jumped towards him and gave him a tight hug.

“Oh Hakkai too!” You smiled and waved at him, but the bashful guy just wasn’t used to you yet. He just gave a polite nod.

“Y/n? Oh I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you there,” Baji suddenly spoke and gave you a small pat on the head.

When you felt a palm light touched your head you came to a halt.

“Oh Baji you’re here,” Mitsuya commented.

Oh right. Baji. He’s here.

And you bumped into him. And you weren’t able to strike up a conversation because your head has been too filled up by your feelings for him and after that everything might just stupidly spill out.

“Yeah. I just got off at home. Mom wanted me to help her with some chores I thought I was going to be late,” he sighed.

“Well, we better hurry now.” Mitsuya gave Baji a smile and gave you a quick pat at the back before heading upstairs. “We’ll catch you later!” He added as he moved forward.

Phew. I am saved.

You were all flustered. But you can’t help but feel a bit frustrated that you weren’t even able to say hi or hello to Baji.

“God. That was so stupid of me,” you muttered.

“How can I get so flustered like that, that I can’t even get my words out?!,” you ranted.

You weren’t really like this. In fact, you have always been a cool-headed person. Calm and collected around everybody. That’s how you got to be friends with Mikey, Draken, and Mitsuya in the first place.

———————————————————————

Looking back, middle school has been pretty crazy for you. You didn’t even have that many friends to begin with. Especially girls.

Well it’s just the school you’ve made into was predominantly boys, and the girls are only a handful per class. You’re actually a bit lucky to have about 15 of them within your class, but you never really got close to them.

You always end up staying by the corridors after breaks and go straight home after class. Not like you have any people to spend after-class hours with. You did feel a bit lonely though, until one faithful afternoon.

It kinda sucks to be the only person not able to hang out with anyone and it is slowly getting into you. On your way home, you decided to buy an ice cream in a nearby convenience store and a pack of doriyaki.

It was a perfect time. You always liked how the sun slowly sets at around 5 pm. It feels warm as the sun glows into the vast sky, but it also starts to feel cooler as the night approaches.

Feeling a bit nostalgic and sad, you decided to stay on one of the park on your way home. You sat down on a swing to settle a bit, though you wiped off some of the sand and dirt that's scattered on its seat.

When you finally sat down and started eating your ice cream like a person who's so done with their life you hear a bantering from the street facing your way.

"Ken-chin, I finished my doriyaki," a blonde declared.

"Huhh? What do you want me to do now? We're almost home. I'm sure Emma cooked up something for dinner. Save that for tomorrow," a huge guy said back.

"But I want it now. I can still eat at home. But I want the doriyaki now." The smaller one retorted.

"Mikeyyyy, how many times do I have to tell you that you've had too much doriyakis for today, " the braided one explained.

"Ken-chin, are you my mom now?"

"Huh?! You dumbass, if I am your mom I would have whooped your hard-headed ass already,"

"Nope. You can't do that because I would have whooped your ass first." and the smaller one suddenly punched the other in the gut and started to run towards the park.

They did not notice you sitting by the swing, but you saw how chaotically they rambled and ran throughout the park just because of a simple doriyaki. You had not said a thing though.

After a while, someone called them out as they were fighting.

"Hey Mikey, Draken! Mind others when you are fighting." A voice came from behind you.

They suddenly turn to a halt when they saw your eyes glued to them. Your face was so blank as your mind was everywhere. But instead of asking what you're looking at the petite blonde looked at the snack on your lap.

"Can I have that doriyaki?" he asked.

"Hey, hey Mikey don't just ask some--" the voice from behind approaches you.

"Oh, Mitsuya--," the tatted one greeted.

You were lost for a moment. Eyes scanning the two boys who just joined the park with you. You were totally clueless, but you responded.

"Uhm. Oh, this? Yeah. Yeah. You can have it!" despite now knowing what's going on you flashed him a smile.

"WAIT? REALLY? Do you mean it? You mean it?", he asked.

"Yeah." you paused. "Yeah! Of course." As if you had to correct yourself.

"Wow you're an angel!" without second thoughts he opened the pack and started to eat the snack right away.

"Hey Mikey! Don't just go stealing other people's food in the park you--" the tall one protested.

"Kwen-chwin--" He said in between munches. "She gwave it t- mwe." "I'm, Mwikwey." he gulped down his snack. "Nice to meet you!" he stretched out his hand to shake yours after flashing a bright smile.

Oh. This sudden friendship caught you by surprise but you shook his hands nonetheless.

"I'm y/n! Pleasure to meet you, Mikey!" you made sure to repeat his name because you do not want to forget it. That would be embarrassing.

"Y/n this is Ken-ch--" gesturing to his friend.

"Enough Mikey. You're the only one who calls me that." He shoots a look at Mikey.

"My name is Ken Ryuguji. You can call me Draken." He said with a small smile.

"My name's Mitsuya Takashi. Nice to meet you. I hope these two are terrorizing you," the person from behind lean over and calmly introduced himself flashed with a sweet smile.

"Oh by the way y/n why are you eating ice cream all alone here?" Mikey inquired.

"Oh well, I am on my way home and I just stopped by to finish my ice cream. I also thought the weather is nice so.." you plainly said.

"Well let's walk you home then!" Mikey enthusiastically offered.

"Oh. Please don't bother yourselves! I'm definitely okay going home alone. My house is just around this area," you try to convince them.

"Hmm, y/n. Could it be that you're thinking of us as bad guys?!" Mikey exclaimed.

"What? I really don't! It's just I don't want to bother two people I just met, that's all!" you tried to defend your statement.

"You just met? What are you talking about? We're friends!" Mikey nonchalantly said.

"Y/n, you have to get used to Mikey like this if he says you're his friend," Draken explained.

"O-oh. Is that so?"

"Hey Mikey. You should be thankful she did not think you were terrorizing her when you asked for that doriyaki," Mitsuya suddenly commented.

"Whatever, whatever. Let's just walk her home" Mikey said unamused.

And you lead them the way to your home.

Those were the good times you thought.

———————————————————————

After the meeting ended, Mikey asked to hang out at his favorite fast food chain, this time with you, Draken, and Mitsuya.

"Soooo.." Mikey said as he finished his dessert.

"What was the designated topic for the earlier hang out that I am not interested in?" he asked.

"Well um, " you start to dig your brain to explain now to your two other best friends what you talked about with Draken.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't make it earlier y/n. My sisters need me to help them for their assignments so I have to miss it," Mitsuya apologizes.

"Mitsuyaa, it's fine," you gave him a warm smile.

"What is this? Even Mitsuya was supposed to know what you talked about?" hurt and betrayal can be traced in Mikey's voice.

"Well-- " you took a pause and looked at the three of them.

"I told Ken that -- " you continued

knock. knock. knock.

There is suddenly a knock from the window by the booth that you are all sitting in.

It's Baji.

A/n: Thanks for reading through my mess :D ily all, I promise more baji to come for the next parts <33

[straighttohellbuddy]

now i’m thinking of htlgi!corpse saying that line to tubbo in the game but demon!reader is like “hell says no, not today. he’s too precious. you on the other hand….” and tubbo is just giggling because whilst he loves the joke he secretly enjoys demon!readers protective nature around him when they’re gaming. -🐈‍⬛

The idea that htlgi!reader & corpse have lowkey adopted half of the clingy duo each is delightful because all I can think is considering their online personas

"My son Tubbo is getting tested for the gifted program at his school, and Corpse's son Tommy thinks his toothbrush is haunted."

Tho it could very easily be the other way around too lol.

But also reader tweeting this to Ranboo during his first mcc

I firmly believe the reader does not have an alt twitter account. It's because they're from the era of the internet where it was kind of all or nothing, but also their pinned tweet "no alt accounts you WILL read my 2am rants about cheese and them watch me self promo in the next tweet with no middle ground we die like men" (I love the chaotic stupid htlgi reader)

But back to reader & tubbo, can you IMAGINE how hard they'd hype that kid up after hearing Life By The Sea???? THEY'D BE SO PROUD!!! Absolutely on the STREAM LIFE BY THE SEA train.

Also, we've established that Corpse and Reader teaming up in games is terrifyingly competent or chaotic stupid, but if Reader and Tubbo were ever teamed up they would probably be absolutely unstoppable. Like the reader is v protective of anyone younger than them, especially teenagers because they know what it's like to be online and in the spotlight at that age, but teaming up with Tommy or Ranboo for games isn't the same as it is with tubbo. Reader works well with them and there's good BantzTM but I feel like with tubbo, and yes I'm projecting here, the reader unlocks like, a new level of competency from Sudden Onset Opposite Cain Instinct. The reader doesn't really play enough minecraft to be considered for MCC, but there's a joke that surfaces after a few streams with Reader and Tubbo on the same team for various games, that if the reader was teamed with tubbo for MCC they would somehow win out of spite.

But also I love the idea of the reader being their friends' biggest hypeman. Unashamedly supportive on every platform, incredibly outspoken. YouTubers and traditional celebrities alike.

tweets posted within 24hrs:

Reader tweeting "ITS NOT A TATBILB SOUNDTRACK IF I DONT ABSOLUTELY GO OFF FOR AT LEAST 3 MINUTES WHILE @NoahCent AND @lanacondor MAKE ME BELIEVE IN LOVE 🥰🥰🥰" during his Always And Forever live blog. The chain that follows:

@NoahCent: ITS NOT TATBILB WITHOUT YOU

@YourTwitter: YOU KEEP SAYING NICE THINGS IM GONNA WRITE A SONG ABT U MY DUDE

@NoahCent: 👀 don't tease me like that

@YourTwitter: next time I'm in Miami I'll serenade u

@NoahCent: that better be a promise

AND THEN THE READER TWEETING "@slimesicles first dsmp stream is the only thing that matters actually 🥰💚" at 3am and then immediately replying to themselves "he has bones of dubious origins and I love him"

Then tweeting at 2pm the next day "sometimes I think about the fact that I just got to watch @Corpse_Husband stand in the middle of his kitchen and eat cereal out of a saucepan because neither of us can be bothered to wash dishes and I'm genuinely overwhelmed with love." and then "Its so dumb and sappy but I feel like I've got more of a crush on him now than before we were dating. Hes so cool and talented, do you think he likes me? 😳👉👈" (and three minutes later they post "he read my tweets and muttered 'we are in the timeline god abandoned'. I think he likes me. We're washing the dishes now 😍")

The reader just having so much love in their heart but absolutely refusing to be normal about it. I could bang on forever about the reader not understanding how big they are in the real world and somehow always being shocked when celebrities they haven't directly worked with respond to their tweets ---

@YourTwitter: @TheRock notice me senpai

@TheRock: 👀 You called?

@YourTwitter:

Reader is peak "pure of heart, dumb of ass" when they want to be. They play up some of it, as it's almost always been a part of their persona when they're not actively spiralling. But also they're not Stupid; chaotic is often mistaken for being stupid, but they're smart enough to have gotten where they are.

The reader casually and precisely tearing apart and disproving malicious rumours about their friends on stream without looking away from whatever game they're playing. offhandedly alluding to the fact that they havea scarily detailed understanding of how and why their friends are successful, both from a YouTube and a general entertainment industry standpoint. Hearing their friends in an Among Us lobby talking about old YouTube trends from around 2013, and the reader going quiet as they start talking about a very specific one that everyone else nostalgically remembers watching, and the reader quietly pipes up "I started that one" and the way every else remembers at the same time that theyre Old YouTube Famous, like "I've been on this site longer than Markiplier, only by a month and a half but still" Old YouTube Famous, "I've forgotten more collabs that I've been in than you have had collabs" Old YouTube Famous.

If they could bother having an ego, they'd be insufferable. I love them. Very Choose Joy mentality instead 🥰

[egg-emperor]

It's a shame that X had its really weirdly OOC moments for Eggman (most prominently in season 3, which you might have seen my criticism post of in the past) because aside from that, I personally adore X Eggman for the things they did get right. I feel that they still captured multiple important aspects of his character quite well.

The things I feel they got right were his loud, confident, and rude demeanor, the skill of his manipulation tactics, the way he actually did have his share of pretty damn evil moments despite the humor, the way that, for quite a while across seasons, he evidently didn't give a damn about anyone else and not even what planet he was on as long as he could conquer it. I didn't mind how humorous things could get because I love every time he's evil and a jerk but makes a game of it just as much as I love to see him get serious, and he still did the latter when necessary. And if you've seen that other analysis post of mine, I also really liked the moments where they presented his lack of empathy well. ( Which they really fucked up later but still, it was great while it lasted :') )

That's what makes the OOC moments all the more disappointing and surprising because he had a lot going for him earlier on, when it was accurately capturing his important assets that really make him feel like himself. It's weird that the stuff he does in season 3 legitimately contradicts things he did in previous episodes of the show. Like it wasn't even a case of character development as some might try to argue (which I wouldn't have wanted either way because it doesn't work for him period lol) but it came out of nowhere and made no fuckin sense for his personality and actions we'd seen on earlier eps. It was so jarring

But besides that, I still treasure it for the positives. To this day, X Eggman brings me as much joy as he did back when the show was one of the first pieces of Sonic media I consumed. I still have to give it credit for the way it really helped fall in love with him even more, since the only two games I'd played at the time was Heroes and Shadow 2005, where he hardly got any focus. Despite not seeing much of him prior, I was still lucky to recognize that the OOC moments in X weren't right for a character like him, instead of it letting it lead me to the false belief that he's not so bad of a guy. It was all his best evil asshole moments and fantastic humor that was making me fall for him all the while instead.

Yeah maybe it is thanks to my huge nostalgic fondness that makes the OOC moments easier for me to rewatch it without getting too frustrated to the point I don't enjoy the rest of his portrayal. Especially considering that I watch the English dub the most lol. I get not liking it for how much they fucked up but man, Imo it's still worth watching for Mike Pollock's performance alone, as from the very beginning he already suited Eggman perfectly and brought so much charm and humor in the best way. In the present, I still can't stop smiling at and the jokes never miss with me, he's the only one I genuinely find funny when a lot of the jokes usually don't land with the other characters.

The OOC moments do of course still bother me all the same as I care a lot about how accurately Eggman is portrayed in any media. I'll never hesitate to call out the flaws in the writing and characterization (hell, I literally had that Eggman X supercut I made get interrupted a text rant about why that one bs line in ep 67 really bothered me lol) but I can't deny that as a whole, it will always have a very special place in my heart and it's currently still my favorite Sonic show ever. I hope Prime presents an Eggman with an attitude as great as earlier X Eggman had, without the OOC stuff this time. Not gonna get my hopes up, but it'd be nice.

[otterskin]

I didn't like the LOKI show, no matter how hard I try, and it's messing with me.

My mother died at the end of December. A lot of other bad things happened as well, like the severe brain injury of my father.

I didn't cry. There was so much to do. I did it. And even then, when there was nothing left to do, I didn't cry.

I found distractions.

Today I went to see the Green Knight after a tough week at a new job that had me leave my father in another province even though he still needs help. I was trying to get back to the life I'd dropped.

I loved the Green Knight. The Arthurian Legends are as dear to me as Norse Mythology, and my copy of them had the Green Knight on the cover. The film was truly excellent, evoking the feel of the story whole still doing something unique and very A24. I cried at one point, like I did when watching the first THOR, because of how much it meant to see something I'd loved since the very first years of my existence finally make it to the big screen and be...right. It's own thing, it's own artistic product, but right.

Then I opened a tab in a browser and saw I had some messages on a website I comment on. It was just some minor criticism of the LOKI show I'd posted beneath an article and how it handled certain things.

I was downvoted. Berated. Hated. Lumped in the ad hominem twitter users who attacked the director and writer (I'd never, ever!) Told I was biphobic because I wanted to see more of a queer lens (I even addressed how difficult it is for bi people in queer cinema and society in general in my criticisms of the romance, but even that wasn't good enough - just disliking it was 'bad'.) I was told I just wanted my 'fanfic' made (I never made any laundrylist of plot points I demanded). I was accused of being a begrudged shipper (ha! If anything I'm an anti-shipper). I was told that I should love the show, it was awesome, and I was bad for not thinking so.

And I started to cry.

I don't cry. Only at movies. Not at real life. I didn't cry at my grandparents's funerals, I didn't cry when I was left with the body of my mother in the hospital room and my brother cried on my shoulder. I didn't cry when working through my dad's severe new disabilities as I realized how much he had lost. I didn't cry while realizing how messy my parents' finances were. I didn't cry when my mother's friends called me in the middle of the night and cried into the phone. I didn't cry when saying goodbye to my dog and going back to a rundown apartment with a terrible smell so I could go to work in a dark room for hours at a time.

But now I'm crying and writing this.

I've realized why. During everything, I looked forward to the LOKI show. The first THOR is deeply nostalgic to me and I watched it often in my first year of Uni when I was away from home. It tied in thematically to what I was going for. Thor 2 came out before I went on exchange, and while I disliked it overall, talking about it was a welcome distraction from my anxieties. Thor 3 was nerve-wracking, but it also came out during my first major job which I was struggling with, and I saw it so many times in theatres...it was such a huge comfort.

Looking forward to LOKI wasn't just a distraction. It was like a promise. A promise that I'd make it till then and see it and maybe it'd give me some comfort.

That's on me. That's a personal thing. It's an unreasonable expectation.

But I needed it, all the same.

Then it came out.

I tried. I really tried to like it, to forgive it, but the problems are things I've criticized for too long in so many other things. I always try to be respectful about, I never go ad hominem and attack the creators, only critique their work and I always mentioned what I liked but...

I didn't like it.

I have no urge to rewatch it.

And the Green Knight...the Green Knight was everything I wanted and needed it to be. It didn't let me down, though I've been anticipating it about as long as the LOKI show. They're very different, obviously, but in my heart they share the same compartment.

And after a very trying day...I realized how badly I needed to rewatch a Loki show I liked. But I can't even enjoy THOR or Thor:Ragnarok anymore. It's like everything I did like has been poisoned.

This thing that got me through immense pain is causing me pain. I don't want to be toxic. I'm sure it's in me. I try so hard not to wallow in disappointment, but to not even be allowed to talk about my problems without being lumped in with abusive online monsters...

I can't do it. I just can't.

This is supposed to be an escape, not another trial.

I needed the LOKI show to be good, so I could come out of the dark into the light, or at least walk through the night with a lantern ahead of me. And instead it was just more darkness, and it's not even entirely its own fault. It's the online discourse. It's the uncalled for harassment of Herron and Waldron. It's the taunting jabs at people who didn't have a good time as if we're all jerks. It's having people roll their eyes when you point out things that made you uncomfortable in the story, it's feeling slightly gaslit when you find something gross that the story intended to be gross and then being told it's not gross, actually.

I'm sorry. I don't want to cause pain. I just...

I needed it to be good. And unlike Thor 3, which delivered me respite in a dark time...it let me down. Worse, it's hurt me.

I said I don't cry, only at the movies. Something about them lets me cry in a way nothing else does. I can't cry at a funeral, but I can cry in a movie theatre at the drop of a hat. It's a release valve, a way for me to process things.

I think I was waiting for LOKI to give me permission to cry. To give me something that could release this pain in me. And instead, it just gave me more.

I never should have given it that power. I didn't want to. But I had to, to get through this.

I'm putting away the few THOR pieces of tat I have. I feel foolish. I always knew it was a capitalist piece of art, chucked from creator to creator with no creative shepherd, which in itself was stressful.

The fandom is no sanctuary for me either, since I'm primarily interested in the family dynamics and I'm sick of 'Odin is an ABUSIVE MONSTER' stories or even unrelated fics and posts just dropping in hate for him that's not at all canon but seems to be very popular to the point where people think it is. Especially since I often read these stories when I need to think of home and my father. Or, most pleasantly of all, when I get called an abuser or abuser-enabler because I say I like Odin as a character. I also can't really bear to deal with anything to do with Sylvie, whom I had high hopes for as someone who wants more female tricksters, but instead I got this...this Mary Sue that's very hard to criticize without being yelled at. I swear I'm coming at her writing as a feminist and I don't hate anyone, I don't, I just...sigh. She's just personally frustrating to me and not being able to discuss it without being called names sucks.

Not to mention I'm asexual, and I always struggle with romance in media being pushed as the 'ultimate relationship more important than any other'. Part of the reason I liked THOR so much was that romance was not the main feature of THOR and definitely not THOR 3 (while my disliked Dark World was all about it, and so is LOKI). And when I criticize the romance, I get called a prude (guilty, I guess), a troll, or, my favourite, just 'a hater'.

I don't want to hate. Who wants that poison in their veins? I'm here because the Thor series HELPED me because I LOVED it. And now I look at the things I used to love and I...don't, anymore.

So much is asked of me right now. I can't willingly invite this painful thing to sit on my chest as well, especially since the world is already shoving it into my face without my doing anything, in ads, in news, in everything.

I suppose that's why I've leaned even more into Odin lately. He was untouched by the LOKI series (though not the Simpson special, which worries me). He's a trickster, he's queer, he's nuanced, he's 'misunderstood' (that old cliche, but he's misunderstood and misrepresented by the people always yelling about how this or that character is misunderstood, which amuses me, except when it gets to me), and he's in many ways free to make my own.

I still have some stuff I'm going to publish that's practically finished. Finnesang has a lot more written for it but needs some major sit-down time for re-writes and edits. Lokabrenna is practically done, just needs tweaks and Beta. I'll be here a little longer.

But I think I'm going to have to step back for now and put my passions into other things.

I will be back. After all, after Thor 2 came Thor 3. Maybe Love and Thunder will right the ship and Thor can still be awesome, and maybe eventually a creative I love will come to work on the franchise. Really, that's the key for me - I loved Branagh before THOR, and loved Waititi before Thor, and disliked Waldron's work (though I gave him every benefit of the doubt and hoped and prayed to be wrong - sadly, it was what I expected.)

But...if LOKI season 2 is more of this, more romantic tropes I hate and Loki being an afterthought in his own show and his family being devalued for new characters...I can't do it. I can't watch something I used to love just throw that all away for something I dislike.

My tears are finally drying. I wrote a lot of this while the screen was blurry, so I hope there's no grammar or typo too embarrasing. I'm not sure I have the strength to re-read it. Sorry for the rant. It helped me feel better.

Thank you all. I hope I feel differently someday.

[weeb-stomper]

Won’t be Without You

Villain Deku x Fem!Hero!Reader

A/N: Hello! This is my first fan fiction that I’ve written. It’s completely unedited, so I’m sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors. Feel free to message me with suggestions and corrections, I appreciate any input you’d take the time to offer! 

Warnings: Kidnapping, imprisonment, violence against reader, language

-------------------------

     A dizzying sense of nausea crashed over you like a wave from the ocean, stirring you from unconsciousness. A dull, throbbing pain in your head made itself fully known as your head rolled forward, chin resting heavily against your chest. You tried and failed to bring your hands to your face, only then realizing that they were bound tightly behind you. Jerking your head upright, you tried again to tug your hands free. Horror swept through your mind, and an attempt to kick out with your legs confirmed that they were also well-bound to the seat you sat in. The scratchy and rough material peeled away at your skin as you struggled, a slick, wet feeling rolling down your hands and collecting on your fingertips before falling to the cracked pavement floor. The disgusting, rhythmic dripping of what could only be your own blood pounded in your ears over and over again like a drum, causing you to double down and fight harder against the restraints.

    Small whimpers and yelps left your mouth as you thrashed in a desperate attempt to free yourself for what felt like hours, only stilling when you had long since used the reserves of your strength. Only now, huffing out ragged breaths and sweat rolling down the slope of your neck, did you stop to look around the makeshift prison cell. The room was dark, a small window set high into the wall acting as the only source of light. Sounds of zooming cars could be heard faintly every once in a while, their headlights pouring into the room and bathing it with artificial yellow light before abandoning to the pitch-blackness once more. In the moments of illumination you could see the bland, red-brick walls of the oppressive room, the shapes of the barrels and crates surrounding you revealed by the streaking lights. The sound of a far-away door clicking open stopped your inspection in its tracks.

     Your head shot towards the noise, panic washing through your mind, and you could see light pouring into the room from the top of a set of stairs about 15 feet to your right. Trembling, Y/N hung your head once more and clenched your eyes shut in a poor attempt to pass as unconscious. The sounds of two distinct sets of footsteps filled the room. They approached your bound figure at a steady and consistent pace, one coming to stop directly behind you while the other took up post in front of you. A rough, calloused hand slid across your shoulder, and you couldn’t stop the resulting shudder. The ensuing chuckle was far too familiar. You jerked away from the sound, tucking your head forward against your chest in a sad attempt to create distance between yourself and Shigaraki as you bucked wildly against your restraints. The thought that those killer hands had touched you, even for a second, almost caused you to pass out right then and there. Tears pooled in your eyes, choked sobs and grunts escaping your throat despite efforts to stuff them down. A much smoother hand gripped your chin, easily yanking it up from its semi-protected position, and you froze completely when your y/e/c eyes met a nostalgic set of striking emerald green ones. Confusion clouded your already overwhelmed mind.

     “...Izuku?”

     A wicked smile twisted your previous classmate’s face as he stared at your grief stricken expression, his hot breath fanning across your sweat-soaked face. 

     “Surprised?” he asked excitedly, his hand sliding up from your chin to rub tears away from under your eyes. “I’m so happy to see you, Y/N. I’ve missed you so much since I went away.”

     Reeling, you took in the sight of your childhood friend. Midoriya was crouched between your knees, easily balancing on his toes as he looked at your face with melancholic adoration. He wore a crisp white dress shirt tucked into creased black slacks, a simple belt with a small silver buckle adorning his waist. A dark green tie hugged his neck, disappearing underneath a pristine black dress vest. The black leather glove on his right hand hid the thick scars that you’d always thought were so beautiful. His wild curls had been cut shorter, revealing a neat undercut on the back of his head. He looked exactly as handsome as he had when he’d disappeared during your freshman year at U.A, almost four years ago.

     “This is where you’ve been this whole time? No one’s seen you in years, Izuku, we thought you were dead!” you spat at him, turning your head to escape the affectionate touch. “Don’t touch me!” you almost screamed. “Do you have any idea what this has been like for us? For your mo-”

     SMACK

     The coppery taste of blood filled your mouth as you sat in stunned silence, your cheek already beginning to swell. Your head swiveled towards Midoriya slowly, as if on a post, and you looked up at him with defiant eyes. He was standing again, teeth bared in a vicious snarl as he bore down on your bound form. The tension in the air ratcheted up to an unbearable level as the stare down continued, not caring about igniting his wrath at this point. You were mad, you were hurt, and there was no way he was going to let you walk away from this either way, so you were going to let him feel the full array of the pain you’d endured during his absence.

     “You’re telling me you ditched Katsuki and I to be a villain and you still hit like a sissy?”

     He bristled at the jab, fists clenching tightly at his sides as he worked to restrain himself.

     “You’d do well not to antagonize me. I’m happy to see you, but not that happy.” he said, voice laced with malice.

     “I’ll do whatever the hell I want!” you screamed. You stilled when a weight settled onto your neck.

     A hand now gripped the base of your neck from behind, one finger missing. Anger and indignation melted into stark terror as Shigaraki leaned in close to your ear, the sound of his sickening laughter biting into your sanity and making your skin crawl. As if to solidify the unspoken threat, the black detachable collar of your hero costume dissolved into ash. Midoriya crouched between your bound legs once more, fixing you with a level stare.

     “I’ll be straightforward. I want you to join the league. Be with me again, like before.”

     Your eyes blew painfully wide, mouth falling open. “You’re joking.”

     “Don’t you remember what those ‘heroes’ did to us? They bullied us, they ignored us, they called you a villain. Kachan humiliated us almost daily and no one batted an eyelash. And now he gets to be the #1 top hero? How is that fair? Why should you dedicate your life to a society that hates you? Join us, you and I can be together again.” His hand snaked up from his side to press against your cheek again, thumb running gently across your bottom lip. “We can be together the way we always wanted.”

     Your nausea returned full-force as his fingers ghosted across your face greedily. What is he talking about? Izuku had been your closest friend. He’d supported you through bullying and family crisis, self-esteem issues, classroom anxiety, and just life in general. In return you’d done the same by answering a seemingly endless stream of phone calls about the most recent heroics from the news or glimpsed on the street or supporting him through a particularly nasty confrontation with Katsuki. But despite your closeness, you’d never been or even wanted to be involved. If he had romantic feelings for you then this was the first you were hearing of it, and it wasn’t good news. Setting that aside, you decide to press this moment of vulnerability, hoping to stir some sense of the golden heart you’d always admired.

     “Zuku, is this really who you want to be?”

     He recoiled from your like you’d struck him, nursing his hand against his chest, and a jolt of fear ran through your icy veins. “Who cares who I wanted to be? I pined for hero society my entire life and they rejected me!” he bellowed, rising to a standing position to pace a few feet in front of the seat. “If they don’t want me the way I wanted to give myself to them then they should at least take responsibility for the person I became instead.”

     You scoffed at the delusional rant, anger boiling lowly behind your y/e/c eyes as you stared up at the shell of your friend. “That’s bullshit and you know it Zuku! We got into U.A, we made it into hero society! Hell, you were a top performer in the hero course! It was all within your reach, and you skipped out to join these guys!” The muscles in your neck twitched with exertion as you worked to remain perfectly still, a lifted finger dancing tauntingly in your peripheral vision. You took a deep breath and lowered your strained voice. “We never stopped looking for you. y’know. You could just come home with me. Walk away from all this right now and I’d never say a word.”

     Calm down. Katsuki’s probably out looking for me right now. I just have to stay calm till he turns up.

     At that, Midoriya stopped pacing. He turned to face you, a pained expression on his face. Striding forward, he waved off Shigaraki. You sagged against the seat in relief. The adrenaline that had pounded through your veins had been burned off, and all it left behind was absolute exhaustion. You were unable to resist when Midoriya ran his fingers through your hair, both of his hands trailing down your jaw to hold your face between his palms. He inclined your head towards him and pity surged through you at the glossy look in his once optimism-soaked eyes.

     “Do you still love me?” he asked in the most pitiful voice you’d ever heard from him.

     You leaned into his gloved palm, nuzzling it weakly. “Of course I do, Zuku. You’re my best friend. But...I just can’t do this for you.”

     He knelt down between your legs again, scooting as close as possible before resting his forehead against yours.

     “Please agree to stay with me. I won’t be without you again.”

     “Come with me instead.” you said, not hiding the desperation in your trembling voice. “You and I are the only ones who know you’ve been here, and I’d never say a word. We could make something up and go back to normal.”

     Midoriya sighed heavily. He stood up, pressing a light kiss to the top of your head before walking towards the door. Shigaraki followed without a word, shooting a vicious smirk over his shoulder.

     “Where are you going?” you asked, panic creeping into your voice as he drew closer to the door.

     “If you won’t agree to stay then I’ll just have to keep you here by force, doll. You’ll come around eventually, but until then you’ll just have to stay right where you are.”

    Completely drained and unable to thrash anymore, you sagged limply in your seat. Darkness enveloped you once more as the door clacked shut, and dread ate at your gut while you prayed for someone, anyone, to save you from the man you’d devoted your life to finding for four agonizing years

[tanjaded]

-Dragon Ball Rant Incoming-

God I fucking love the Dragon Ball series. Like, I grew up on GT and Kai, watched the OG Dragon Ball on YouTube, and enjoyed every second of Abridged.

Which makes what Super continues to do absolutely fucking infuriating on so many levels.

To start, one of the best tropes from early Z was the constant conversation of Saiyan nature and the love for battle. Like, Goku's mentality of "I'm backed into a corner, the situation is looking more impossible than ever... so why am I so excited?" was so fucking cool and great and i feel like it's kind of just par the course now. Admittedly, this is more of a minor complaint, but damn do I miss when it was actually important.

Vegeta is another issue, though it's not really his fault. Every time Vegeta gets a new power up, he gets his ass beat. Every. Single. Time. It's been happening since the Frieza saga of Z for fucks' sake. And of course everyone knows that Gohan was supposed to be the protagonist after Cell, but Goku was brought back after fan backlash or something. Gohan used to be so cool.

Bojack Unbound in particular was peak Gohan.

Not even Goku himself is safe. He went from a competent, decently rounded character to an idiotic "uh, what's kissing?" despite being married and having two kids.

I could also rant an entire essay about how the fights post-Buu saga from Z (and really, post-Android Saga if we're being real), have steadily declined from interesting, thought out life-or-death battles to "shoot a million ki blasts, shoot a kamehameha/masenko/final flash/insert any other beam that is functionally the exact fucking same" and "punch punch kick punch otherwise known as the dragon rush move from fighterz". And I'd have a million different examples to choose from as well.

And none of this is touching on the fact that anytime a new enemy appears they just happen to be stronger for some reason, which only gets more implausible as time goes on. And that the response to this is literally always some new form of super saiyan or some new form that is basically super saiyan color coded as something else.

Remember in Dragon Ball, when Tao beat Goku's ass? Yeah, remember the solution to that, where Goku climbed Korin Tower multiple times, got the Sacred Water (which was just normal water), and then beat Tao's ass because he'd very clearly earned a new level strength?

Yeah, that was good shit. That was satisfying to watch. It felt like the logical conclusion, and like Goku had really worked hard and gotten his just rewards for his efforts.

Now, to end off, I'll mention how while I admit to being nostalgic for GT, I do realize it was mostly garbage story wise. The universe hunt for the black star dragon balls was a clear nostalgia grab for fans of classic Dragon Ball, and it was not done well. Pan and Giru were incredibly annoying. Trunks was just okay. Super Android 17, Omega Shenron, etc all sucked for most or all of the time they existed on screen.

On the other hand the Baby saga is probably one of the best arc narratives in Dragon Ball (yes, not in GT, in the entire Dragon Ball series) up until maybe its last two or three episodes. And Super Saiyan 4 is eternally and objectively cool as fuck.

All that being said, Super, while having high points (SSJ God and SSJ Blue are cool, multiple universes is a great concept) also has stunningly low points (The destruction of Future Trunks as a cool character both visually and narratively, the overall not good fight scenes, the nonsensical power scaling, Jiren, I could go on forever).

It just could have been so much more, and I will always be sad about the series's decline into battle shonen low mediocrity. And no, when the latest manga chapters eventually get animated, the series will not jump back up into incredibleness, or to the top of the genre once more.

Trust me on this one. I know about Moro and Goku Ultra Instinct's fucking Gundam-aura thing, and Granola and Vegeta's new form. Even if it was cool in the manga, it will most definitely fall to the exact same subpar standard as the rest of animated Super. Maybe it will become above average. We can always hope, but I doubt it.

^ Me thinking about what could have been

I'd love for Super's eventual new seasons to be good, or even great. I'd be ecstatic to see Dragon Ball be genuinely good again. I love Dragon Ball! I just have realistic expectations.

-Rant Over-

[travel-hopefully]

A collective post of everything I watched on Netflix in 2020

I finally found the watch history function on Netflix which I wanted in order to reminisce over the TV/film I watched over the last year, including the good and the bad. I’ve included a little round-up of my thoughts for each, as lockdown has got me with plenty of time on my hands. If anyone has watched any of the below feel free to give me a message- happy to discuss anything!

Travelers (season 3) - this was an unforgettable show with some great characters and definitely put me through hell (in a good way), I am a David x Marcy shipper for sure!

IT Crowd (season 4 & 5) - my favourite comedy show ever, and I mean the UK version

Explained (random episodes) - interesting bite-sized episodes on a variety of topics

Sherlock (season 3 & 4) - it kinda went downhill from season 4...and doesn’t help that there is no season 5 in sight

Unforgettable - must be pretty forgettable cause I couldn’t remember watching, a typical revenge plot romp I think

The Mind, Explained - same as for Explained above, except more pyshcological

You (season 2) - binge-worthy! I love to hate Joe Goldberg.

Don’t F**k with Cats - wow, this was disturbing but so gripping.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - geniunely a good remake and rather amusing

Sex, Explained - as for Explained but a little more intriguing ;)

The Stranger (season 1) - full of suspense and a good binge watch but ultimately full of plot holes with an unsatisfying conclusion

Gavin & Stacey (season 3) - a classic which I only started watching in 2019

Sex Education (all of it) - comedy gold!

Unbelievable (limited series) - very harrowing, an emotional rollercoaster based on a real-life rape case

Atypical (all of it) - light-hearted and fun to binge

The Sinner (season 1) - it was okay... wasn’t spectacular compared to other similar dramas I’ve seen

Love Is Blind (season 1) - cringey but satisfying

In the Shadow of the Moon - I hardly remember this one :)

Dunkirk - a stand-out historical movie

The Stepfather - typical killer stepfather plot but rather enjoyable

The Super - an interesting premise, but not that super

Saw VI - all gore not much plot

Doctor Who (random episodes) - no words needed :D

Louis Theroux and Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends (random episodes) - I love his style of interviewing - what a man!

The Revenant - a lot of... well, not much

Nightcrawler - it was decent, but something was missing which I couldn’t put my finger on

How To Get Away With Murder (seasons 1-5) - probably my biggest new watch of the year, a rollercoaster of suspense, drama and murder, another season to go...

Ocean’s Eleven - fun but cheesey

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare - creepy faces and an interesting ending

Eli - it started one way then went another, I wasn’t convinced

Star Trek (2009) - I couldn’t really get into this one...

In the Tall Grass - a lot of running around in grass

Bloodride (season 1) - i loved this, a quirky idea, i binged it

Apostle - intense, a satisfying religious cult horror

The Platform - great idea, not sure on the ending

What Keeps You Alive - what happened in this one again?

History 101 - didn’t watch many episodes :P

The Prodigy - a decent child possession horror

Into the Night (season 1) - really enjoyed this, a highlight of the year for me, hoping for a season 2

It - pretty chilling and creepy, but a tad cheesey

Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - the first one has a brilliant dinosaur fight scene, the second one has too many plot holes and inconsistencies to take seriously

Knowing - a Nicholas Cage sci-fi/apocalpytic classic, pretty decent

Stranger Things (random episodes) - i tried to get my bf into the show but sadly he still isn’t much of a TV fan

Miranda (random episodes) - such fun!

Black Mirror (seasons 1 & 2) - another one i introduced the bf to, i got a bit further with him on this one, the very first episode being the highlight

The Last House on the Left - a decent remake, but nothing outstanding

Dark (season 3) - this, my friends, is one of the greatest shows of all time. want a timey-wimey story where everything is connected and has an amazingly satisfying conclusion? this is the show for you!

The Silence - a bad ‘A Quiet Place’

Geostorm - i’m a fan of disaster movies but this one wasn’t in the same league as some of the greats

Panic Room - a mum and kid hides in the panic room when a group of thugs break into the house, it was enjoyable but not all that memorable

Prisoners - a very long film with some enjoyable parts but overall unsatisfying

Girl on the Third Floor - it was okay, i can’t remember much of it

The Woods (season 1) - another Harlan Coben adaptation- not as good as ‘Safe’ or ‘The Stranger’ but still a gripping thriller

Time Trap - a fun time-travel film with some interesting turns of events

72 Dangerous/Cutest Animals (random episodes) - just ‘cause i love animals

Slasher (all of it) - some very gory deaths, especially in season 3. quite disturbing but keeps the suspense up throughout.

2012 - a guilty pleasure of mine, realistic or not

Kingsman: The Secret Service - a fun spy film, will be looking to watch the second one soon

Blackfish - this was harrowing, it really made me think, but overall i’m on the side of tilikum

Unsolved Mysteries (season 1 & 2) - watching some of these my jaw dropped, love theorising on this kind of stuff

Down to Earth with Zac Efron (season 1) - Zac is great in this, he seems so chill and literally ‘down to earth’

The Call - I love this film, seen it 3 times now

Contagion - very relatable right now, interesting to see the parallels with todays situation

Next in Fashion (season 1) - i didn’t get too far with this, i found it a little superficial

Searching - another of those internet web-cam based films. decent but not memorable.

Non-stop - another Nicholas Cage classic, this time a suspense thriller

Freaks - as the title suggests this one was rather weird, i didn’t quite gel with it

The Perfection - wow, that was an experience. definitely memorable, even if some characters make questionable decisions...

Extraction - not usually a fan of action-type thrillers, but i actually enjoyed this one, plus it has Chris Hemsworth in it!

Line of Duty (season 2) - full of suspense, a great build-up in the first 5 episodes, but the way they tied it up really grated on me 

Insidious - watched this one with my sister. a genuinely good horror film on rewatch with an amazing cliff-hanger

A Quiet Place - another one watched with my sister. labelled a horror but its more sci-fi, either way its a classic. bring on the second film!

The Dark Tower - disappointing mostly.

Gladiator - i’d never seen this before and now i understand the hype- what an epic movie!

Criminal UK (season 2) - didn’t disappoint following the exceptional first season

Venom - a fun comedic marvel film, definitely need to watch more from Marvel in the next year- i need an order to watch them in as don’t know where to start

Our Planet (season 1) - chill David Attenborough to put on in the background

The Equalizer - a great action revenge thriller plot with a badass Denzel

Merlin (random episodes) - who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane with some nostalgic bbc merlin?

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - pretty scary remake

The Witcher (season 1) - rewatched in order to familiarise myself again before season 2 - i didn’t realise how funny the show was until this time round, gotta love Jaskier!

American Murder: The Family Next Door - this was haunting

The Haunting of Bly Manor - phenomenal, emotional, creepy, heartbreaking - i much preferred it to Hill House

Abducted in Plain Sight - seriously, how naive are the parents in this? i could have a rant for hours about this!

The End of the F***ing World (seasons 1 & 2) - very bingeable, Alyssa makes me laugh too much, i love how relatable the show is

Fractured - didn’t expect much from this consipiracy-type film but it kept me guessing right till the end

The Ripper (limited series) - very intriguing, but the mysogyny in this was shocking

Inconceivable - a typical mother looking for her baby revenge plot but still entertaining

The Midnight Sky - i’d heard rave reviews for this but was disappointed by a lacklustre plot which was sacrificed for award-winning cinematography

Killer Women with Piers Morgan (season 2) - a pyschological interview series which looks into the mind of murderers, rather interesting

May the Devil Take You - scarier and jumpier than i thought it would be!

So 2020 obviously gave me a lot of time to watch a s**t load of stuff and looking back at it i feel like i got a decent amount of my watch-list ticked off! And obviously this is not including shows watched on other media so there’s that too (a special shout-out to the William Hartnell era of Doctor Who which I watched this year on BritBox). In all, 2020 has definitely introduced me to a few new fandoms and progressed my love for others.