#its a process to be autistic and to learn how to adapt to eating more veg but it can be done

[winglssdemon]

Look for hidden veggies recipes. There's multiple vegan cheese recipes that are completely made out of vegetables and it still tastes like cheese. Branch out of US food recipes as well(if youre in the US), a lot of other countries do a lot better with making both fruits and esp vegetables taste better. Soups, dumplings, veggie burgers, pasta made out of veggies, and using dips and sauces are a good way as well. If you need veg to be easier to chop up, you can buy pre chopped, use a food processor, or get a manual vegetable chopper. Ninja blender is fantastic for making soups and pureeing vegetables.

i mean this in the gentlest way possible: you need to eat vegetables. you need to become comfortable with doing so. i do not care if you are a picky eater because of autism (hi, i used to be this person!), you need to find at least some vegetables you can eat. find a different way to prepare them. chances are you would like a vegetable you hate if you prepared it in a stew or roasted it with seasoning or included it as an ingredient in a recipe. just. please start eating better. potatoes and corn are not sufficient vegetables for a healthy diet.

[xenowingfield]

sai is autistic!

or: caesar has a problem and likes to overanalyze note - i uh... dont walk you through autism specific terms at all, sorry. feel free to ask if anything is confusing

not making direct eye contact

sai not looking directly at chelsea while she shakes his hand

theres 5 whole people here and he isnt looking at a single one

extremely common autistic sensory issue.

high math capabilities ok, this gets a little nuanced. we dont really understand the complexities of why sometimes autistic people tend to be better at math, but its probably connected to the way they process information. not all autistic people are notably good at math (i physically cannot do mental math), but it is a distinctly autistic trait.

special interest coding! i hope i dont need pictures for this its... his entire thing. he really likes coding. ‘i learned a near obscure and useless type of coding in the 21st century for fun’ type of like. also, side note: machine code? odd choice. why not c?

atypical posture

this exact pose 1

this exact pose 2

really small sai

baby sai slouching in a chair

baby sai slouching not in a chair

baby sai with a computer

runnin with bad posture

this is just how he sits

you get the idea. sai has a very distinct slouch! this is commonly found in kids with low muscle tone, and low muscle tone is common in autistic people. autistic people also adopt atypical postures for sensory reasons. ill talk about it more below, but we have reason to believe that sai has both sensory issues and low muscle tone!

pencil grip

sai holding his pencil in a very specific way

this is actually a real pencil grip! its called the adaptive tripod grip, and is notable for being a very good pencil grip. its sometimes naturally adapted by people with low muscle tone and hyper flexibility (both commonly found in autistic people), but is generally recommended for people with those issues. it allows smooth, natural writing movement, but doesnt force you to wrap your hands tightly around a small object.

sensory problems

francois bringing sai food to his room despite everyone eating at a table together

theres a couple of different factors here, since ‘not liking to eat around other people’ can be an autistic thing, and kind of nuanced. i would say theres 2 main things: 1. feeling awkward and a social pressure around ‘eating correctly’ when near other people, 2. sensory issues regarding eating, fork, plate, etc. noises. i think its especially cute that francois is bringing him food instead of trying to fetch him to go to dinner, likely because they know that he doesnt like to nor want to eat with other people.

sai’s hair

another example

okok. bear with me here. sais hairstyle i dont think is unintentional, and very much reminds me of how autistic people deal with sensory issues. hair is a VERY common sensory issue, its a lot, and its there all the time. his hair is very curly, and doesnt seem to be styled in any way, aside from it being very aggressively brushed over to one side. its not precisely cut, and wasn’t during childhood either. brushing/moving aside/putting up your hair can be an easy way to lessen sensory input, and brushing it up and to the side is VERY common for guys to do. haircuts, for a number of reasons, are stressful. lots of sensory input, interaction with people, generally an uncontrollable situation. his hair likely hasnt been cut in a while, just judging from the length of the back of his hair.

bonus

...stim? this is such a weird and specific motion

[ot3]

Hello, I've notice you mentioning in a couple posts that you are autistic, and I'm wondering how old you where when you found out? I've thought for a while that I may have autism but my age and my unavailability to resources have left me with many doubts, any thoughts?

this is gonna get a little bit long so i'll stick it under the cut.

the answer is i still am not entirely sure but it's really just the only thing that makes any sense. i got a bunch of expensive neurological testing done and the woman testing me came to the conclusion that i was too socially well adjusted to be autistic despite the fact that 1. most of my friends are autistic or otherwise compatibly messy in the brain and 2. my social skills were the result of very very very careful and hard-won work by my parents. she basically asked me 'do you have friends' and i said 'yes' and she said 'can you make eye contact in conversation' and i said 'yes i can if i force myself but i hate it and its exhausting' and apparently that was enough to counteract all of my sensory issues and processing issues as far as she was concerned. which i'm still really bitter about

but the thing about any atypical neurobiology, and especially autism given it's presence as a Media Boogeyman, is that once again they can pretty much only diagnose you based on a failure to adapt to mainstream society, so if you Can force yourself to function in mainstream society, no matter how difficult or harmful it is for you to do this to yourself, you pretty much bar yourself from an official diagnosis and any of the resources that come along with that. it's a pretty horrible catch 22.

but i know myself a lot better than the woman who spent a total of two hours running me through standardized tests and everything about the way i navigate life gained a lot of clarity when i started viewing it through the lens of autism. parts of myself that seemed to be inexplicably fucked up or i thought were genuinely just some psychosomatic oddity that i was inflicting upon myself for No Reason suddenly had a pattern and logic behind them. and the thing about autism is that being able to have that sort of rational scaffolding to my own behavior feels Really Good. it makes sense now.

if you look at people within your age group (or older) and see autistic individuals describing their autism in a way that resonates with you, i think it's really worth considering. ignore the labeling aspect of it for the time being. dont think of yourself as either having it or not. instead, look at the symptoms and behaviors that you exhibit that you think might align with autism, and see if they match up with factors that autistic individuals attribute to their brain chemistry. try strategies for dealing with life intended for autistic people and see if they work for you. if these strategies and this way of understanding you helps, whether or not you actually label it as autism is completely secondary. what matters is having the tools to get through life, and if the tools autistic people have come up with prove to be helpful to you, no one would fault you for using them regardless of whether or not you are an autistic person.

so really, i never 'found out' i was autistic and never truly will and there will always be a bit of doubt that eats away at me, but whatever sort of guilt comes from that doubt is completely secondary to the relief of having a framework to apply to my life that makes it more manageable.

i recommend looking through the #actuallyautistic tag on twitter and whatnot to find autistic creators detailing their experience, as personal experience is going to be a nice and easily accessible way to sort of get a feel for the experience.

on top of that, autism in adulthood is a peer-reviewed journal focusing on the study of autistic adults, and if you're like me and enjoy reading papers theres a bunch of good stuff here. even without reading the whole papers you can learn a lot from just browsing and skimming abstracts to get a feel for things.

in general there are a lot of really good academic types on twitter who are either autistic themselves or just incredibly solid researchers who do great stuff with autism and are really looking to break a lot of the stigma and boundaries that prevent people from being properly diagnosed and given tools to navigate life, and browsing around related twitter accounts should help you.

hope this was helpful!

[bytemycupcakes]

Changeling!Pabit AU

I said I was makin a post and I don’t care that nobody seems interested in him cause I love this little puppet boy and wont stop making aus for him.

Under a cut cause l o n g e

--

-Pabit only ever remembers Boris as his caretaker

-Not unusual for a changeling, really but it’s true

-Boris always says he just found Pabit on a walk. People usually take that as a joke, but he’s being serious.

-Ya see, Pabit wandered a bit too far from the fae as an infant, and Boris almost tripped over him on a walk in the woods.

-Boris picked up this strange little faerie baby, they made eye contact, and Pabits body shifted to resemble Boris.

-Well fuck I guess Boris has a kid now. The thought of calling the local orphanage doesn’t even cross his mind, it’s really just, “Ah fuck I found a kid.. Guess I’m a dad then”

-Really the fact that Pabit seemed to latch onto and form to look like Boris didn’t help with that train of thought.

-It didn’t take long at all for it to click in Boris’ head that Pabit wasn’t human. Obviously the whole shapeshifting thing, but this child was practically FERAL.

-In a non-babyproofed home, Pabit wreaked havoc. Being a master at hiding, scuttering Boris’ walls, and getting into everything, especially things that a baby shouldn’t be touching.

-It took ages for Boris to get the house at least somewhat Pabit-proofed.

-Pabit still manages to get into shit constantly, it’s like a talent.

-Just like Child!Au, Pabit is not Pabit’s actual name, it’s a name he gained later on because of how much he mimics Boris. (Whats his actual name? No idea)

-Pabit’s gender was literally assigned. He doesn’t have typical human anatomy, being completely androgynous, and thus Boris just... -stamps Pabit with “boy” sticker-

-By the time of the habitat, Pabit id’s as masc non-binary

-Boris considers the day he found Pabit as his birthday, not actually knowing how old he was when found, he counts up from that date, thus where Pabit being 15 comes from.

-Pabit is so tall both because he is fae, and because his body mimics Boris for its aging. So he’s just.. so fucking tall.

-Pabit has a shadow form, but didn’t seem to gain one until he first saw Boris do it when he was a toddler.

-For awhile he’d just randomly shift to it, until his subconscious realized it was primarity an anger-based “transformation”

-While Boris’ shadow form is just intense anger, Pabit’s becomes almost like a rage. As his body grows to adapt most of his non-human ability (strength and some subtle basic magic) into said form.

-Depending on the source of anger, Pabit can be incredibly destructive or eerily calm but a ticking bomb.

-Even Boris gets a bit scared when Pabit shifts to the form... One too many times he’s had his house demolished from this child- Or even being injured by the rage (Nothing serious, but more damage than an 8 y/o should be able to give a grown man)

-From a very young age Pabit always showed signs of adhd/autism. Though he doesn’t technically have these conditions because he’s fae, he’s found comfort in knowing he’s not just really weird, and if people ask about it, he and Boris will just say he has ADHD and/or is autistic*

*[Lil step back: This whole au exists because I heavily project my adhd onto Pabit. And my girlfriend, who is autistic, loves the changeling trope (We even call her one fairly often). So please don’t get hateful about this]

-Boris was always pretty open about Pabit not being human, never tried to hide it from him. He grew up as the outcast and couldn’t figure out why, he’s not gonna let his son feel that same lost and broken feeling.

-Pabit tends to speak in broken sentences. He can speak in full, but feels more comfortable doing more of a Hulk speech pattern. Thus he often talks in third person, and leaves out words he deems unneeded to understand the sentence.

-He’ll fall into proper speech when ranting or infodumping, though. Speaking much more like Boris, with proper and large words.

-He stutters over bigger words a lot, and sometimes gets frustrated and just uses “dumbed down” language in its place (this is how he’ll describe it)

-Pabit has a major hyperfixation of puppetry and puppet making, and a smaller one on musical theatre/acting.

-There is Pabit, and then an actual puppet Habit. It was a gift for fathers day, and though it’s not as pretty as the irl puppet, it’s still pretty damn good for a 15 y/o with claws. Boris keeps it on a shelf in his office, it’s Pabits favorite out of all the puppets he’s made.

-Pabit will nab it and, using Boris’ desk as a stage, will just talk to Boris as “Boris”.

-Boris finds this absolutely adorable, and goes along with it. He’s made several business deals with this puppet. Usually for teeth.

-Which yes, Pabit eats. (No Pabit au is complete if he doesn’t eat teeth, fight me.)

-Pabit stims. A lot. His most common stims are kicking, bouncing, or wiggling his legs, chewing (Yes teeth eating is a stim for him, but he mostly goes for more rubbery textures), hand flapping, and full body wiggling/bouncing. He’ll also play with his hair, but it’s not as common.

-Pabit will occasionally repeat things, usually funny things he hears while giggling.

-Pabit’s hair is so stupidly thicc and curly that no stylist in town will deal with it.

-Boris has learned to cut hair, which comes in handy more often than you’d expect in a house of two very long-haired people.

-aka: Pabits hair grows so fucking fast, its ridiculous.

-His hair sticks together so much that it almost acts like one solid pillow-like mass. No hairtie can contain it. (If it’s tied back, it’s usually an actual string litterally tied around his hair)

-Pabits ears can emote, they don’t move much, but it’s noticeable. They wiggle when he gets really heccin happy.

-Pabit’s pupils alwas seem to be slitted, but at general shock (among other various things) his iris’ will slit aswell, leaving Pabit with a line in some massive sclara’s.

-Pabit has gotten very good at sewing thanks to his love of puppet making. This becomes very useful since he usually has to tailor his clothes slightly.

-In the habitat proper, Pabit is surprisingly popular with all the kids. Most notably Tim Tam and Trevor.

-He knew Trevor (And of Nat) before the habitat. He and Trevor are classmates while Nat is in the class behind them.

-Trevor didn’t really acknowledge Pabit’s existence until he bit a bully and seemed to break skin effortlessly??? hmmmmmmmm.

-Thus Trevor started theorizing, nothing in depth, but the kid was on his radar.

-Trevor was really surprised to find Pabit in the habitat, and even more surprised when Pabit told him Boris is his dad.

-The most these two ever talked before the habitat was a single “peer review” assignment, but in the habitat they start talking a lot more cause they’re the oldest kids, know eachother a bit, and both need to infodump like crazy.

-It takes a while for Trevor to get used to Pabits broken speech, but he eventually finds himself mimicing it occasionally. and Pabit will mimic him as well (adhd solidarity, boys)

-Pabit and Tim Tam can communicate non-verbally with no trouble at all. Thus this is used to wreak so much havoc on habititians since they’re both feral little goblins.

-It doesn’t help that Pabit has special access to “employees only” areas since he’s Boris’ son.

-Trevor and Pabit have gone on massive theory rants about random musicals while Nat’s in the room and she just watches these two in confused awe because of all the little details they’ll pull out to support these wild theories.

-Nat seriously has no idea how these two can just. keep. going. It’s been three hours at least let her have a snack!

-Pabit has allowed Trevor to ask so many weird questions about him because Pabit is also very curious about what exactly he is.

-Boris isn’t going to question why Trevor was poking at Pabit’s ribcage with a pen and just let boys be boys.

-Nat supplies Trevor with books on mythical beings she steals from Trencils room.

-Even with the three of them mostly working together, they cant figure out exactly what Pabit is.

-Until they’re all going over it in the boiler room one day. Where Wallus can hear them.

-YES ONCE AGAIN WALLUS IS NOT HUMAN! AGAIN, FIGHT ME.

-Did three children just lure out the frightened janitor cause they’re describing changelings and Wallus, a fae, knows about these kinda things? Yes. Yes they did.

-Wallus really never got a good look at Pabit before he took refuge in the wall, Pabit never got too involved in his work, or his talks with Boris. So Wallus isn’t too surprised that he missed it.

-It takes a bit of courage building from Wallus and Pabit litterally dragging him to Boris’ office before Wallus talks to Boris about how he aquired Pabit.

-Lots of details short: Wallus actually remembers when Pabit went missing which is pretty neat.

-Boris was almost worried he’d lose Pabit to his birth parents... Until Wallus says they didn’t really worry too much cause he was supposed to be put into someones life anyway. Was only mildly concerning since the fae couldn’t keep an eye on him.

-Pabit barely processes any of this information. Same with nearly all fae information Wallus tells him.

-Its not that he doesn’t like it or anything, he just doesn’t really care about the details. He got a name for what he is and why he acts like he does, and now he’s done. Mission complete.

[I wanna type more but my adhd is being MEAN so I’ll stop here for now. Feel free to send me asks about this au tho cause I love it]

EDIT:

-One last thing: Pabit loves the night. He adores the moon. He loves sitting on the roof past bedtime just to stare at the sky

[theramseyloft]

Please don't compare autistic people to animals. It's super not cool.

I’m assuming you’re referring to this quote from the ask about pigeons and parrots.

“And if your mom is prepared for that and able to deal with what amounts to an autistic 5 year old with wings who can scream literally as loud as a jet taking off and bite through a broom handle for the next 60-80 years, then awesome!More parrots deserve a home that’s actually prepared for them!”

And I am sorry if that was offensive to any one. Another friend pointed out that it might be, so I went back and made the following edit to the post, immediately following the paragraph above.

“(Before any one gets concerned, I am autistic! I do not describe parrots this way as an insult. The similarities are just glaring to me, and if the thought of living with an autistic human child is upsetting, you should really rethink getting a parrot.)”

I stated at the beginning of the post that I’m not good with words either. 

Writing is the way I communicate most eloquently. I literally can’t talk like this vocally, unless I’ve spent HOURS practicing.

If I don’t mean any harm by it, I often can’t see how it could be hurtful, and I depend on more socially adept followers and friends to take me aside and point things out when I miss them.

I did not make the comparison for shock value or to degrade any one.

I am autistic. 

The similarities are genuinely glaring, to me.

I see myself and other people like me in every complaint I have ever heard some one make when they got rid of a parrot.

“It’s too loud!” “It destroys EVERYTHING!” “It won’t let me cuddle when *I* want to!” “It won’t stop plucking!” “I’m scared of it.” “It’s food/toys/housing/care/ is too expensive!”

All leads to:

“I don’t want it anymore!”

Parrots are BRILLIANT! 

Not only are they incredible mimics, but they are amazingly mechanically adept! They LOVE puzzles and climbing and they need TONS of time and mental stimulation! Space to play and forage! Toys they can destroy with out getting hurt. The company of some one that understands their needs and their behaviors.

They are adapted to live in HUGE flocks! Screeching that carries for miles keeps them in contact with each other.

Screeching is not bad behavior for a parrot. It’s just calling out to see if some one will answer. Cockatoos especially genuinely NEED loud, excited time!

Humans that vocally stim are not misbehaving. They NEED to make noise to express emotion.

Expecting a parrot or the humans who need to vocally stim to keep silent all the time is TERRIBLE for their mental health! It stresses both unspeakably to bottle that up, especially if they are loud because they’re happy or excited!

Loud time is necessary, and people who think they want a parrot have to be ok with and prepared for that. 

Parrot’s thick, powerful beaks are designed to cut, crush, and splinter.They eat hard nuts, tough fruits, and many species chew through wood to make nest holes. They even use their beaks as an extra hand to climb.

They are not being bad when they bite.

They don’t usually mean to bite hard. But human hands are fragile, and biting hard enough to hurt is really easy to do by accident.

I accidentally put one of my elementary school teachers in the hospital by running up and hugging her as tight as I could. 

I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was just SO overwhelmingly happy to see her, and it didn’t dawn on me that I even could have.

People who think they want a parrot need to be prepared for the fact that they don’t innately know how hard is too hard, or that they can hurt their handler without meaning to.

Scared, cornered parrots can inflict a LOT of damage attempting to defend themselves or their eggs from The Scary Thing!

They aren’t being bad when they do that either.

It’s usually a misunderstanding. 

Bird warning signs are just not intuitive to humans, and when we want to touch a pet, we tend to insist the pet be ok with that when ever we want them to be with little to no regard for its comfort.

You guys have NO idea how afraid I was of the neurotypical kids who seemed to go out of their way to harass me, bully me, and kill or destroy things I liked because my behavior was not normal.

They’d be friendly one second and hateful the next, from my perspective, and not knowing what to expect made me skittish and defensive and withdrawn.

People that think they want a parrot need to be prepared to learn to understand enough of its behavior to know when it’s receptive to interaction and when it’s overstimulated pr afraid and needs its boundaries to be respected.

You also need to understand that all parrots tamed by imprinting are at least some degree of mentally ill.

Mental illness and neurotype are not the same thing.

There is nothing wrong with an autistic person. We are healthy people whose brains process and store and retrieve information differently from what is more common and thus considered typical.

Mental illness is usually caused by physical or emotional trauma or neglect.

Let’s start with the fact that the vast majority of parrots do not get to live their lives as parrots.

They are removed from their parents and raised by humans, which is, let me remind you, genuinely necessary for them to be safe to handle in captivity.

Imprinting, as stated in the post, does not just make an animal think you are its mother. 

A birds entire species identity is conveyed through imprinting. “This is what you are, this is your social structure, these are your normal behaviors, this is what you eat, how you live, what you should be sexually attracted to.”

Parrots raised by humans think that they are human because that’s what imprinting does.But all of its instinctual urges will be parrot, and they will not match the thing it has imprinted on, which leads to a LOT of the miscomunication that stresses the bird and overwhelms the owner.

Humans don’t imprint, but I can tell you from experience that there is a disconnect between the way neurotypical and autistic humans think and process and interact with the world just drastic enough that it makes it hard to communicate effectively, despite being the same species and speaking the same language.

It’s incredibly frustrating, and with out any indication that the other can understand you, you just... give up and withdraw. 

People who think they want a parrot need to understand that a withdrawn bird doesn’t hate them and isn’t being bad. Its attempts to communicate have failed and it has given up.

An understanding of psitticine body language will go a LONG way to prevent this issue.

Most pet parrots live functionally alone and spend most of their time confined to their cage. They may never see another bird of their species, or even another bird, period, in their lives.

Look at most parrot cages on the market and the species they are marketed as suitable for.Most parrot cages are just display stands, barely large enough for the bird to stretch its wings out all the way, never mind flying or climbing or engaging in any natural behaviours!

And keep in mind that these are wild animals, less than ten generations into domestication.

Adapting to confinement takes GENERATIONS of selective breeding, and all ethics aside, parrots just haven’t had the TIME!

An intelligent, intensely social animal used to traveling great distances, spending a lot of time foraging and relying on chewing to get almost every comfort met from food to nests will hallucinate, pace, tear up its enclosure, lash out at its handlers, and eventually self mutilate when deprived of all social interaction, mental stimulation, physical activity, and behavioral outlets necessary to reduce stress.

Sound familiar?

Parrots don’t get to choose who they live with. Autistic humans don't get to choose who they are born to or who becomes their care taker. And the consequances of willingly or accidentally failing to meet their needs are STRIKINGKLY similar.

I am sorry if that is offensive.

I was not drawing attention to these parallels to say “Parrots are terrible because they are like autistic people!” 

I am pointing them out as food for thought to remind people to respect that their needs are complex, not especially intuitive to the typical joe, and if you want one, you need to be prepared to spend the next 60-80 years doing your best to keep the commitment you made to meet them all.

[scriptautistic]

my character spends a lot of time daydreaming heavily (ive seen "autistic fantasy" used to describe this but im not sure if its offensive to use) because people act suspicious and angry towards him a lot for things that werent his fault bc of some past plot drama. plus he's nonverbal, so people pressure him a lot to speak. is it realistic (or offensive?) for him to do this? and what might it look like to another character? could a character he's very close to "wake him up?" thank you!!

      Hello there! Interesting questions. I’ll adress the daydreaming with a 1) and the nonverbal part with a 2) and the what might this look like with a 3).

1) You seem to be describing maladaptive daydreaming, the intense, hours-long daydreaming some people do. It isn’t limited to autistic people, but it affects them differently. I’ve read a bit about it, since I used to maladaptively daydream a lot.

It’s called ‘maladaptive’ by those in the field of psychology because, as an example, some people use it as an escape method to get away from their current world - or at least that’s the idea psychologists have documented. For something to be maladaptive, it has to get in the way of someone’s health and daily life. If an action like daydreaming is so immersive it prevents people from showering and eating and sleeping most of the time, it could be considered maladaptive because it interferes with their health and work. Some primary literature in psychology has described the experience as somewhat dissociative.

I’ve read other accounts and opinions of this long, immersive daydreaming in the context of autistic people, and the opinion is quite different. Since the line between adaptive and maladaptive can get fuzzy, this type of daydreaming you describe may help autistics somehow, as is the opinion of the blog autisticworlds. Whether its helpful or not could be heavily debated, as there can be detrimental effects, combined with executive dysfunction, like forgetting to take care of oneself. It can though, serve several functions for autistic people:

if they do not get enough socialization/are isolated, they can imagine or practice social interaction and get some stimulation

autistic people tend to create very rich inner worlds, like discussed on the blog mentioned earlier. This is helpful for creativity and goes against misconceptions that autistic people aren’t creative

daydreaming can be very soothing, motivating, and a safe space/refuge to return to every time the daydreamer gets overwhelmed or needs something to focus on, etc.

the reasons people daydream are very numerous, but autistic people may be drawn so much to it because they tend to become very hyper-focused.

2) As far as being nonverbal goes, the reason people have trouble communicating is because of a processing issue. I am not nonverbal, but nonverbal autistic people describe the difficulty as not having enough time to come up with apt words on the spot. Semi-verbal and some verbal people also struggle with this, but not to the same extent or under most conditions. Some people are able to verbalize but only when they are relaxed or not having to deal with too many stimuli.

To pressure someone who is nonverbal to speak can be extremely detrimental to that person. Not only would it likely make it even more difficult to think of words, but it would add stresses on top of all the stimuli in the environment and may lead to meltdown or shutdown. Not only is it offensive, but it is harmful. It would be realistic to present people pressuring your character to talk, because this happens in real life. But do not present this pressure as having a positive effect on your character’s ability to communicate. It would likely stress him out, as nonverbal people tend to be particularly aware of the pressure on them to talk, even if unspoken in any specific moment. People who pressure nonverbal autistics to speak and treat them like they can’t understand words are doing abusive behaviors, even if those people have good intentions.

Talking is certainly not the only form of communication. Many nonverbal people develop ways to communicate with those around them, including writing if they can, selecting words on a tablet to generate a message, emotionally reacting to any situation, series of sung pitches or gestures, etc. The modes of communication nonverbal people like to use vary between person to person. With that, I’ll get into how you could depict your daydreaming nonverbal character.

3) A positive relationship your character could be in would be with someone who does not pressure him to speak, but works to understand the communications methods he uses. That other person may speak to your character like they would to anyone else, but give him time to process their words, then accept however he wants to communicate and works to understand what he intends to say. There may be trouble with this task for those who haven’t had the time to learn his communication methods. As long as that person or people who treat him well don’t treat him like he isn’t intelligent simply because he is nonverbal, and recognize his personhood fully, that would be a good relationship.

Daydreaming can be done with eyes open or closed, or both depending on the situation. He might appear to be very spaced out, and others might have trouble getting his attention if he is very hyperfocused on his daydream. Some may not be, but someone who is understanding and supportive would be very patient with him. He might be sensitive to stimuli when he’s daydreaming, and it might be very easy to get his attention but might be alarming to him. There are a lot of ways to depict this depending on what he is particularly hyposensitive or hypersensitive to. It might be very easy to get him out of a daydream in some scenarios and environments, and perhaps very difficult in others. That likely depends on what made him want to daydream in any given moment. He might even be comfortable sharing what his daydreams are about, but he might be very secretive about them. Depends on his personality and what the daydreams are about.

Thank you for your question!

 - Mod Siena

[mariska]

im so restless again. my brain is always buzzing now even more than it ever was before because im so conflicted about everything all the time and confused and tired of trying to get recognition from medical professionals about my neurological issues. in my last therapy session my therapist and i talked about why i feel so strong about needing a professional diagnosis for being autistic, and i still am not quite able to come up with one set specific reason as to why, its a bunch of different things. i’ve had these neurological issues my whole life as far back as my memory goes. i’ve had severe sensory processing disorder since i started learning how to use my senses. i was more outgoing as a kid than i am now but even when i was little i couldn’t fully enjoy socializing with my peers and engaging in childhood activities because of my social blocks and sensory processing disorder getting in the way of how i interacted with people. i’ve always felt like i socialize by memorizing what other people do and how they act as opposed to coming up with natural responses to things by myself. i dont understand how socialization works on a base level. i can read people very well but i don’t know what they want or expect me to do or respond. i am hyper empathetic to the point where i take on other people’s troubles and stay up all night crying and panicking but i don’t understand how to respond to it. i understand where people are coming from with their emotions but i don’t know how to help them and i don’t know how i’m supposed to talk to people who are in distress because i don’t know how to talk to people regularly. i only come up with natural responses to conversations when it has to do with one of my special interests/hyperfixations/whatever you’d like to call it. my moms and i have tried so hard to get the rest of the world to see the side of myself that isn’t obvious because i ‘present’ a certain way in the company of other people. i think the only other person who really believes im on the autism spectrum besides my moms and i is my therapist who is, luckily, one of the most positive people in my life and i’m so so so glad i have her to talk to because if i didnt have some kind of professional input about all of this i feel like i’d fall apart completely. she’s known me for 6 years and shes seen so many different sides of me, she knows the side of me that doesnt make eye contact with people, she knows the side that shuts down when im socializing because i don’t understand how it works, she knows the side that refuses to let me properly adapt into adulthood because i can’t function well enough with my sensory issues to make myself food or brush my teeth sometimes or do anything besides sit in my chair in the living room and play video games. i dont know why other medical professions won’t at least listen to her. i dont understand it at all. one of the things i said to her in my last session is that its so frustrating, the feeling of knowing your mind better than anyone else in the world does, and finally finding that one term that just clicks with you and makes so much sense and explains so many things that you do and the way that you act, but you can’t get help for it in the world and in society because someone else sees me being empathetic and forcing eye contact and says ‘no, you aren’t that’. and she completely understood, and it made me so emotional because i just wish more people would understand like she does. i wish the rest of the world could understand me as i truly am. i wish i fit into a more ‘stereotypical’ mold so i could get the help i need to transition into adulthood more smoothly than im attempting to now. i wish there was more acknowledgement for people on the autism spectrum who fit somewhere other than the few stereotypes that are accepted as the standard. i don’t know if i’ll ever get the professional validation that i need so badly right now and every time i think about that it feels like a dagger to my chest. i wish i had always known about how autism traits and symptoms can manifest in people. i wish i had always been trying to get this acknowledgement like i am now. i don’t know if it would have changed anything, probably not, but i feel like it’s my fault that this is all happening to me. i really feel like a failure. i can’t even eat anything other than mac and cheese and pizza and noodles and snack food because of how bad my sensory issues are. im 20, how is anyone going to take me semi-seriously as an adult when i’m like this?  i dont know what an official diagnosis of being autistic would change for me, if it would even change anything, but i just wish i could feel comfortable calling myself autistic. i wish i could feel comfortable and secure in my own skin. i don’t know what to do about it anymore. i feel like i’ve fought so hard to be recognized for nothing. i cant imagine having to live like this for 50 more years. i don’t know if anything im writing now even makes sense

[nobantucelemyot]

How much do you know about Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Autism is a difficult concept to grasp unless you are living with it or dealing with someone close to you who has it. Most people are quite uncertain about what it is , they know  that people with autism behave differently. I was one of those people  not long ago until our class was visited by amazing people  who are advocates for people with autism spectrum disorder.  They changed my perceptions about autism and made me realize the relationship between a therapist and his or her client is an important determinant of the success or failure of occupational therapy.

Autism Spectrum disorder has changed from being a condition nobody had even heard about to a widely recognized mental health condition. Due to widespread use of internet, social media and smartphones everybody knows something about Autism. However, it was a different experience hearing all about Autism spectrum disorder from a  mother who is raising a child with ASD and a 19-year-old male who was diagnosed with ASD from the age of eight years old. Our class was  visited by a woman who had become an advocate for children with ASD because of her son. She had to teach herself about the condition  to understand him well. She reported that raising a child with autism is a constant challenge, it is exhausting, exhilarating, and  a lonely roller coaster ride. She stated that children with ASD experience the world  differently from most people. They often have difficulty expressing themselves. Sensory issues can affect how they smell, hear, or see things. She reported that her son found it impossible to eat food of a particular color, and some days  he preferred only eating cereal. She had to find ways to convince him to eat other meals and foods with different colors without overwhelming him Most mothers may find this exhausting as it is time consuming. When her son was upset ,  to calm himself he would flap his hands or spin around. She described that her son becomes very anxious when entering a room with a stranger or unfamiliar face. He is very honest and people who do not understand his condition may easily be offended by his honesty.  Many people believe that autism is its own disorder that children are diagnosed with. However, autism is a term used for a wide range of disorders. The clinical name is Autism Spectrum Disorder, it is used because of the range of symptoms, intensity, and behaviors autism effects. Her son’s behavior and symptoms may be unique when compared to other children with autism, therefore as a mother she had to recognize his uniqueness and determine ways to help him cope with everyday life.  She currently  uses augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) which is a type of assistive technology that assists her son with communication and with expanding his social interactions.

Sebastian  is a  19-year-old with ASD  , he managed to teach us so many things about his condition that many of us would have never learned from a book or from social media. Knowledge gained from books is necessary for proper application in order to experience things in a better manner, but knowledge gained from experience is the true knowledge we ought to seek. Sebastian reported that  she often switched between schools when he was in his early childhood years. He changed schools for various reasons ,but one of them includes causing trouble with his behavior, he also used to flap or clap his hands when he felt overwhelmed and even screamed. As a child he also had set routines that he felt a need to obsessively follow every day.  His peers and his teachers had difficulty understanding his behavior  and his condition. He stated that there is no known cure for autism and the inconsistencies of the symptoms of autism in each case make it difficult to target a set of effective treatments. However, some behavior management therapies , especially physical therapy helped to significantly control the unwanted symptoms of autism spectrum disorder. He suggested that when going to public spaces with a child who has autism and when standing in lines in shops or in a hospital , put headphones on the child and let them listen to music to distract them from excessive stimulation. He also suggested pouring oil or baby powder on the child’s hands as he or she would concentrate on tactile stimuli while waiting in line. He expressed that people with disabilities hate being treated differently. When speaking to a person with disability, focus on the person’s capabilities and not on his or her disability. Be respectful, aid if asked or if the need is obvious.

The client-therapist relationship is an important factor when it comes to how the client responds to treatment and how occupational therapists views themselves as competence (PettyJohn, Tseng & Blow, 2019). Sebastian stated that he worked with the best occupational therapist during his adolescent years. He used to feel uncomfortable when in the presence of a stranger. Initially, for him it was difficult to attend occupational therapy without his mother. His therapist was very patient with him and she managed to build a relationship with him. According to (Peschken & Johnson, 1997) the therapeutic relationship is the foundation of psychotherapy. She involved him in making decisions  and treated him like a capable being. She did oblige him to engage in certain activities. Instead, she would hint the experiences that he would have if he were to engage on those specific tasks. Currently , Sebastian is coping well in a mainstream school and he is very grateful for the effort put by occupational therapists to enhance people’s lives. The therapist also collaborated with his mother to help him achieve successful everyday functioning. She taught his mother various techniques that could  be used at home to minimize symptoms, such as scheduling playtime for Sebastian when he was most alert and awake. When he seemed distressed or was having outbursts, the therapist suggested that  his mother should first figure out the  motivation behind the tantrum. It is natural to feel upset when you are misunderstood or ignored, and it is no different for children with ASD. He expressed that he is very fortunate to  have a supportive mother who has always been by his side and has assisted him in coping with everyday experiences. Sadly, some children like Sebastian may not experience this kind of hands-on parenting which has greatly benefited him. One possible reason for this is that some parents are experiencing great levels of fatigue and may perceive their children’s behavior as more challenging (Zeener,2019). This could potentially lead to a feedback loop of problematic behavior as parents are less equipped to deal with the children’s problematic behavior. Sebastian and the mother raising a boy who has autism both agreed that raising a child with autism requires the ability to balance multiple roles ,the flexibility to adapt the child’s changing needs , and the energy to effectively parent and to respond to needs.

Having a child with an autistic spectrum disorder is a challenge for any family. It is well established that parents can learn and successfully apply skills to assist in changing the behavior of their children with autistic spectrum disorders. However, the guest speakers failed to mention the effects of cultural differences such as race, ethnicity and social class in caring for children with autism. It was amazing to directly hear perceptions about autism and the treatment children  have received from occupational therapy,  from people who have an everyday encounter with the disorder. It is also inspiring to hear them express that to them it of crucial importance to make the information available to parents and the community. This means that they will continue to ensure their active role in advocacy for people with autism.

References

Peschken, W., & Johnson, M. (1997). Therapist and Client Trust in The Therapeutic Relationship. Psychotherapy Research, 7(4), 439-447. doi: 10.1080/10503309712331332133

PettyJohn, M., Tseng, C., & Blow, A. (2019). Therapeutic Utility of Discussing Therapist/Client Intersectionality in Treatment: When and How? Family Process. doi: 10.1111/famp.12471

Zener, D. (2019). Helping autistic women thrive. Advances in Autism, 5(3), 143-156. doi: 10.1108/aia-10-2018-0042

[partlycloudyblog]

More Things Not to Say to an Autistic Person or  Oh, don’t say that [part 3]

Ok. So it’s been a while since I’ve written anything here. Sorry. Bad aspie, bad. I’m back though. So I’ll just jump right back in and answer some more of these. And as I’ve said before, please feel free to add your questions and/or comments. #speakingASD #ask an aspie

No. 4 “Autistic people don’t feel empathy.”

While it’s true that we don’t express empathy the same way, or to the same extent that neurotypicals often do, we certainly feel it. One of the women in the video says it nicely. We often feel things much more deeply than most people do and we don’t process the emotional information the same way.

So here’s my theory: the reason that the human brain feels any empathy at all is because of its ability to relate to a particular situation on an emotional level. Most autistic people are hypersensitive in one way or another and therefore learn to block out certain things that may lead to overstimulation. This overstimulation and the resulting panic is often caused by something called Hyperesthesia. This is usually triggered by one of the five commonly known senses, and the sense of taste rarely has anything to do with it at all.

But most people ignore emotions when they think of sensory input. This ability to pick up the energies in a specific area or “the vibes” can play a major role how we react. Like smelling lasagna after brushing your teeth, or like not wanting to eat while Watchmen is on. The idea is talked about in passing all the time. But when it’s actually brought up... 

In other words, we do feel empathy. But our ability to process emotion and to relate to others is often very limited. This can make it look like we’re cold and emotionless. We feel. But we don’t always know how to handle it or how to react.

[Hyperesthesia: Causes, Diagnosis and Treatment]

No. 5 “Autistic people could be normal if they tried.”

Ok, and I’m sorry about the language here. First off, what the fuck is normal? And second, my “abnormalities” are exactly what makes me a unique and interesting person. So I don’t want to be normal any more than I want to be straight. Sure, I could do without some ASD difficulties that make understanding the neurotypical world hard. But I tried to be “normal” for the first 27 years of my life and I was suicidal. I’m not going back. No.

No. 6 “How would you describe autism?”

This is the easiest one for me to answer. I would describe autism the same way that I would describe being queer or visiting a foreign country... complicated, complex, usually tolerable. It’s a spectrum with some common traits and difficulties of varying degrees that we learn to tolerate and adapt to.

No. 7 “What is the best thing about being autistic?”

Wow. This one changes almost daily. I guess I’d have to say it’s the adventure. As a whole, my life is never boring. It’s scary, confusing, frustrating, infuriating... but never truly boring.

Any questions?