#its a little silly how I have now watched this streamer through two smps

[genevawrenn]

Not a thought behind those eyes [any of them]

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰crossteaming !꒱

genshin characters as your streamer bf/gf !

character x gn!reader

includes albedo, childe, kaeya, xiao, and hu tao!

warnings : none.

a/n : these ended up being longer than i expected, so im splitting up the post a bit <3 hope you enjoy :D

ALBEDO - THE MINECRAFT YOUTUBER

albedo gives me wilbur soot vibes, minus the height.

if anyone in genshin were to join a minecraft smp just to reenact hamilton and be a jason dean kinnie, itd be albedo and im absolutely right about this.

teaches klee how to play too, his most popular stream was when they beat the ender dragon together :)

he also seems like the type to strictly use minecraft education edition, which is also totally valid because some of the recipes in there are literally so cool ???

pulls a dantdm and has his own minecraft lab and everything, doing all his silly little experiments!

“surcose, we need to sell drugs out of a van RIGHT NOW.”

when chat found out you and albedo were dating, there were two reactions.

one side was really happy for you both, the other was albedos parasocial fangirls who immediately put you on a hitlist.

seriously, if you had a dollar for everytime you were @ed in tweets about writing your name in a death note, youd have enough money to pay for every single persons therapy appointments.

youre always there to cheer him on when hes in mcc, his own little personal cheerleader :)

you show up at his office and just.. stand in front of the door, staring at him through the window. it sounds weird yes, but the shocked expression on his face is worth the wait for him to notice.

CHILDE - THE GRAND THEFT AUTO ONLINE ROLEPLAYER

“no chat i have not gone red. im just startled, thats all.”

childe is the type of fella to participate in the most wacky roleplays on gta online, and i am sticking by this headcannon.

hes done everything from a drug empire to owning his own country, nothing is off limits.

surprisingly hes a really good actor? when youre watching his streams you dont get the cringey second hand embarrassment, its just fun entertainment :D

it took his chat wayyy to long to realize how fine he is, although to be fair he did have mostly men watching him. (not like thats an excuse or anything.)

i feel hes definitely been nominated for a streamy before! whether or not you think he deserves to win is up to you though LMAO

“only a small percentage of my viewers are actually subscribed-”

childe leaked your relationship by accident once by having a tab open of your instagram while he was streaming.

when chat confronted him, he kind of just… ended stream. (real smooth.)

fans went to your instagram afterwards and saw pictures of you two together and started posting them to twitter, and childe ended up on trending because of it.

you felt indifferent to the whole thing, but childe was panicking. he didnt want to let his viewers into that part of his life just yet, but he was, scientifically speaking, caught lacking.

you dont appear on streams much, and childe still avoids allegations about your relationship entirely. its not that he doesnt want to show you off, he does! he just doesnt like having less differentiation between his online persona and his private life.

“whos instagram are you stalking…? thats gonna be all from me chat goodnight!”

KAEYA - THE VALORANT STREAMER

kaeya doesnt play valorant because hes good at it, but because its fun to mess with the fanbase.

you know THOSE vtubers who are.. weirdly sexual? kaeya is like that but he does it in a satirical way. 

likes messing with the homophobes too, but everyone still debates on what his sexuality is (kind of like jschlatt.)

definitely is problematic on twitter on purpose just to get people to talk about him, hes a little bit of an attention whore but we love him anyways <3

has never apologized for anything hes said or done EVER, and doesnt plan on it either.

“what do you mean i got canceled on twitter AGAIN? its only been 3 days!”

chat didnt believe him when he said he was in a relationship. so be dragged your ass into his room to show them.

it didnt work though, they thought you were a paid actor for the next 2 months LMAO

it got to a point where kaeya was doing literally anything on stream to convince chat, and finally you had enough.

you told him to take a break from streaming, he was way too obsessed with trying to prove something that doest matter to anybody but the two of you.

something finally clicked in his head, and after that you dont appear on camera as much anymore. for the most part people believe that you two are together, but hell still get donations joking around that they dont think youre a couple, simply because its funny.

“thank you for 200 bits! ….i am retracting my thank you.”

XIAO - THE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS PLAYER

i dont have any reason for this connection, other than it feels right.

if xiao werent a league player i would suggest smite, he just seems like hed be more into team games like that rather than overwatch or valorant.

just because hes my favorite doesnt mean im letting him off easily, league players get no rights <3 and xiao is no exception.

unironically listens to k/da as well, knows all the choreography but will literally never admit to it.

everyone in his chat has channel points stacked up to tell him to hydrate, he tends to forget when he gets really into the match.

“stream more by k/da for clear skin. no i will NOT be giving you a demo, i dont want a dmca.”

youre xiaos number one bully, and chat is always there to back you up.

when i played lol i was an ahri main, so stick with me here, its about to get real self indulgent.

youre a cosplayer, and one of your favorite ways to mess with your boyfriend is to dress up as his favorite characters. (peak s/o behavior right there.)

chat teased him heavily for his reaction, you could hear my chemical romance being blasted from the bedroom that night.

something about the cosplayer x gamer trope is just sooo <3

“you have no respect for league of legends players.” (duh - an ex league player)

HU TAO - THE DEAD BY DAYLIGHT PLAYER

when hu tao first heard about dbd i imagine she thought it would be an easy way to gain new clients, now she sticks around because its fun to terrorize people as killer, and be an absolute menace as survivor.

i think shed be a nurse main, but one of those that are insanely good at playing nurse. she wins the game in no time because her teleports are perfect. 

i can only imagine how many people have rage quit because of her.

along with dead by daylight, i see her just overall being a horror game player. lots of five nights at freddys, resident evil, etc.

shes never gotten scared on camera before, chat has tried but shes always one step ahead.

“i lied, i dont actually like sex. put your clothes back on i need to explain to you the entirety of the five nights at freddys timeline.”

hu taos favorite pastime is scaring you, she stays on top of the newest horror content specifically because of that. (oh, and its also kind of her brand. but she puts you first <3)

shed sacrifice herself in a heartbeat if youre playing dead by daylight together. she always says if at least you survive its good enough of a victory for her too.

she also has gone on record to say yall are playing the security breach dlc the day it drops. run while you still have the chance.

youve tried to convince her to tweet at shayne and ryan about being on an episode of ghost files but everytime she just suggests to play phasmophobia instead. like cmon girl those are two different things.

even thought shes trying to scare you on purpose, you know shes always got your back if something happens.

“ha look at your face! …okay okay im sorry! come here, youre fine, ive got you.”

[hamphobicbasil]

Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol

oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened

a few things:

1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well

2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?

3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.

4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.

anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across

A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.

However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.

Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.

B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.

Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.

C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.

D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.

Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.

But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]

And speaking of characters-

E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.

But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.

c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.

Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.

c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.

Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.

I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.

F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?

G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.

Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.

Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.

Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.

c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.

Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.

And then there's the worst one:

H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.

And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.

Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)

And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.

but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol

but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.