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puppiesandnightlock · 1 year ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Super Sons (Comics), Batman and Superman: Battle of the Super Sons (Movie 2022) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent/Jay Nakamura, Jonathan Samuel Kent & Damian Wayne Characters: Jonathan Samuel Kent, Damian Wayne, Jay Nakamura, Dick Grayson(briefly mentioned) Additional Tags: Unrequited Love, First Love, First Crush, I'm Sorry Damian Wayne, Fuck you Bendis, The Author Regrets Nothing, jonjay is more there towards the end, this is sort of a character study but not really, Damian's POV, POV Third Person, canon's my bitch so :p, My First Work in This Fandom, Despite the summary, there is no actual realationship, no smut or kissing or love confessions sorry, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Heartbreak, First Heartbreak Series: Part 1 of SuperSons Week 2023!! Summary:

Damian realizing how many of his firsts belong to Jon

(not smut)

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Damian had re-examined the feelings that had been locked away over time. He’d briefly tangled with some people who’d made him feel similarly, but the feelings had been fleeting, dissolving just as quickly as they’d built up.

This…thing he felt for his best friend was something much stronger, something that made him want to sacrifice everything for the other boy, to shove down his own everything , just to see the smile on his face. It was electric, as warm and comforting as the sun's rays, but at the same time, terrifying.

His oldest brother said it sounded an awful lot like love.

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written for Super Sons Week Day One, Prompt "The First Time"

Emotions had never come easy to Damian. Ever since he was born, he was taught to control them, to stay an unfeeling weapon. Emotions were a weakness one could not afford. When he’d come to his father’s, he’d been startled to learn that that was not the case. It was absurd, the way this group of non-blood ties called themselves family. It took a tragedy for him for him to understand, to fully enter.

Somehow, when it came to Jon, everything was different.

The literal ball of sunshine contradicted his everything. They were almost always at odds with one another, the routine of “I hate you!” and “Happy to hear it!” becoming a constant. It was hard to tell when exactly they fell into less biting and more playful in their bickering, the words traded back and forth holding a fondness more than a stinging blow. Jon had slowly but surely wormed his way into the lead-covered heart of the former assassin. A little too deep, in his opinion.

It was a night on patrol, simple enough, legs swinging from a Gotham rooftop. Jon was gesturing animatedly, mouth moving a mile a minute to recount a tale of some sort.

Damian had watched, observing the way the streetlights from below and the sliver of moon visible from the clouds of smog had shone down on him. They made his pale skin glow as if the moonlight was flowing beneath his skin, the dots of his freckles prominent his rosy cheeks. His raven curls framed his face, flopping in his eyes as he moved around.

It sent a flutter to the older boy’s stomach, Damian nearly tumbling off the roof in his surprise.

It…was not unpleasant.

For months, he tracked this feeling, this warmth and almost unease. His heart rate, the heat that would rise to his cheeks, the strange thoughts of shutting the boy up by pressing his lips to the other boy’s soft looking ones.

The increased protectiveness, the flutters, the unfamiliar feeling of joy.

And maybe something new.

He came to the conclusion that it was simply an infatuation of some sorts, perhaps even some sort of spell from a patrol he’d forgotten. He could bury it deep under everything else, lock it away with the ugly feelings and twisted League memories.

Then Jon left.

It was a few weeks, a few measly weeks, but it was enough to cause a chip in the barrier Damian had so carefully built up. There was no warning, no goodbye, no estimated time he would be gone. He scowled when the name was mentioned, hid away when the conversation led to Jon, worked and trained until the shadow hovering above him could be shoved down.

And just when he’d finally stomached everything, that stupid kryptonian showed up, ridiculously taller, more mature, and just as beautiful as he had remembered. Maybe even more so.

The horrors of what he’d gone through left Damian seething. He should have been there for him. He should have had the monsters murdered for the pain they’d inflicted on the one he held so dear.

His brain screamed that this was dangerous, these feelings were dangerous, and by God, it was true. But for a moment, he let them overwhelm his senses just to bask in having his best friend back. When he was asked for his opinion on the Legion, he schooled his features to a mask of indifference.

Just this once, he wanted to be more selfish than he’d ever been, to throw a huge hissy fit at his age of fourteen and force him to stay.

But he deserved happiness. After everything, Jon deserved happiness.

This…thing he felt for his best friend was something much stronger, something that made him want to sacrifice everything for the other boy, to shove down his own everything, just to see the smile on his face. It was electric, as warm and comforting as the sun’s rays, but at the same time, terrifying.

His oldest brother said it sounded an awful lot like love.

He’d suspected it, but now presented with a confirmation, Damian was at a loss. This was the first time he’d ever considered something like this. There was always a huge deal made over these things, these first loves. He resolved to hide it until no longer able to, until the day came that he would tell him.

For the longest, he assumed it would be straightforward and easy, nothing standing in the way of them. The teen let himself drift in the ideas of possibilities, the pleasant warmth squeezing his heart.

How disgusted his grandfather would be.

Soon came the day of Jon's return, and he’d ran through every possible scenario, including the less than preferred ones, although he was quick to pass them over. He spotted the familiar dark curls, and allowing himself a small smile, weaved his way through the people, ready to be engulfed in those warm arms again.

His steps faltered as he watched a pink bob go towards the curls, and lifting up on his toes, spotted someone coming up from behind Jon, taking his hand and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He watched as his best friend blushed before turning to kiss the pink haired person properly.

Damian hated pink.

He almost turned, but running was the fool’s way out. Forcing a nonchalant expression on his face and weighed by the despair clawing at his stomach, he commanded himself to straighten his shoulders and march up there, with all the joy of seeing his best friend again.

Jon squealed at him coming into view, and crushed the shorter boy in his grasp before excitedly dragging him by the hand over to the other man, introducing him as his boyfriend, Jay.

His boyfriend.

Damian greeted him, managing to sound stiff and dismissive at the same time. The words burned into his brain, the disgusting joy radiating off of them both sickening him.

He wanted to hate Jay, to detest him with all he had, to destroy him for taking what could have been his. But he couldn’t. Because Jon loved him, and Jon was happy, and if Jon was happy, he was happy.

So all through the lunch, he listened to Jon’s familiar chatter, the sweet blue eyes shimmering with love and joy, and something else that appeared when he talked of Jay, and how they met. Something Damian knew would never be directed towards him. He kept up the fake laughter and cheerful smiles until it all became too much. He shook Jay’s hand and embraced Jon tightly, the pricking of tears in his eyes as he did so. He knew it would be the last time.

The distress was churning in his stomach as he walked up the steps of the manor, ignoring his father, his brothers, his sister, and his pets.

He ignored everything until he stepped into his room, shutting the door behind him. As soon as he was alone, he fell to the floor, the carpet fibers beneath his nails as he gripped it tightly, the tears streaking down his face and breaths coming in long drawn out sobs. His stomach clenched and he stumbled to the restroom, everything from the afternoon spilling out of his body.

He was hunched over the restroom floor as he wheezed, the pain consuming him whole. This was nothing like the pain from his line of work, nothing like being shot.

This was something new entirely.

Titus nudged him with his nose, concerned, until Damian reached up a hand and ran his fingers through the soft fur on his head.

He was Damian Al Ghul Wayne, Heir to the Demon’s Head, Son of the Bat. And he was broken by something so simple it was almost laughable.

It was funny, he supposed afterwards, lying under the covers with Alfred the cat on his chest.

Jon had taken up so many of his firsts. His first friend, his first partner, his first crush.

His first love. His first heartbreak.

And most importantly, his last.

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@super-sons-week-2023