#its a good winter yall. i love food.

[thenarrativefoil]

NUTRITIONAL YEAST AND WHITE NECTARINES

[gleasonlovesjasontodd]

part three of my jason headcannons i am so happy that you guys love them and enjoy my writing!!!

after a while of dating he already has a ring and it’s hidden in his nightstand

i also believe very strongly that he likes to lay his head against your heartbeat when he is about to go to bed because it calms him and makes him feel safe knowing you are by him and keeps away the nightmares he has

i also believe that he carries a photo of you in his wallet like a sweet photo that he took of you without knowing and only he knows about it

i feel like he would have that hot hand writing like it’s kinda messy but not too messy where you can’t read it

i don’t think this is a head canon i think this is actually true i can’t quite remember but he definitely smokes when he is very stressed out probably caused by bruce and one night you catch him you don’t get mad because you understand bruce and his relationship you kinda just hug him softly i also believe he would smoke shirtless

his body temperature is literally perfect for every season it’s winter time his body is warm it’s summer his body is cool and its like that because of the lazarus pit

definitely emergency kits all over y’all’s apartment like one hidden in a random table that’s in a hallway one on top of the fridge one in a nightstand and tons in your bathroom

if you’re a girly girl like me and like pink things that man is not ashamed to sleep in a pink bed with pink floral sheets or monogrammed pillows in fact he would probably feel more comfortable because he just thinks of you

he doesn’t spend money on expensive clothes or shoes like bruce (or me lmao) but i feel like he would buy a nice watch i personally see him as silver kinda guy i also think he would be a very on time person

probably has a book filled with alfred recipes that alfred gave him after he took you to the manor and you wouldn’t shut up about how good the food was and especially alfred cookies so jason asked alfred very nicely for the recipe so he could surprise you but alfred is one step ahead and wrote it all down for jason and a couple of night later when he doesn’t have patrol you come home late from work and see a nice dinner with jason and you immediately know that this is the man you want to marry

I HOPE YALL ENJOY THIS I’M SORRY THIS TOOK LONG I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE DAY LEFT OF FINALS -gleason 🎀🎀🎀

[carrickbender]

SATURDAY SIX

- So my BFF's brother in law's cousin is on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays(like the real squad, not one of their farm teams!), whose 13-0 start turned into 13-1 start thanks to 'my team', the Toronto Blue Jays, last night. I told my BFF, who is a Mariners fan, that Toronto just "24 Elsinore'd" their asses and I think that reference should be a thing, damn it! (Please tell me yall kinda get it... please?)

-Anyhow, I got my yellow belt cert from CWU yesterday in Lean, and we are well on our way for our green belts. I'm sure some of you have more experience, but this is an interesting process and as it turns out, is in demand. And as the dude put it...

-Also as it turns out, there's a rainbow bus in Henry's Richard Scarry book. I'm sure Ron DeSantis and Charlie Kirk are gonna get all fired up about it sooner or later. I mean, while all the other intentional cruelty for crueltys sake and being general miserable human beings is low hangingfruit for them, they have to save something for desert.

- ohhh, and speaking of fruit and ACTUAL desert, H's culinary adventures in deliciousness are stinking up the house once again: banana-apple bread. I can eat a few crumbs, but the smell is absolutely lovely.

- Living in a wet climate means doing your first mow of the lawn as late as possible and whenever it isn't raining, and that was yesterday. My weed whacker fired up nicely, and the Honda lawnmower ran like a top. I somehow managed to mow over all of Cabo's "nitrogen bombs" without stepping in any...

AND the hummingbirds didn't declare war... which was nice, because they're sooooo territorial and moody. (I mean, it's not like we haven't sustained the ungrateful a-holes on liquid crack all winter!!!!). I'm regretting not giving the quince a serious haircut because its kinda a mess, but then again, it will be some of the first foods for the bees so it's not a big deal. Plus the migratory hummingbirds will be here soon so nature needs all the snacks.I mean, God forbid the flying spicy needles not get all of the foods!!!

Anyhow, if you've made it this far, thank you. And if you think about it, send a little good energy my way for the 2 jobs for which I just applied. Great company, management, and they're definite prospects. There are lots of other folks who need the good energy of the universe, but if there's a little left, a new breeze in my sails would be welcomed.

You are all lovely and wonderful, and much love!

[darling-blurbs]

TW// ED *hint* of abuse

Now I don’t usually rant but I want to just talk about this. I have an eating disorder. It’s called Avoidant Food Intake Disorder. I was abused as a child and my punishment was not being able to have food which is why, growing up, I never saw the need for food or sleep. Even after leaving and going with my other parent full time, I struggled. I would stand in front of the fridge or cabinets and just stare, contemplating what I want. Since I saw no need, I did know that I had to EAT so I only gave my stomach options and would make whatever it wanted.

Because of this pickiness, I grew up being severely underweight. Currently I weigh 104 pounds and I’m 5′6″. 

I wouldn’t say I was bullied but it didn’t feel good when others would state “Eat more” or “You are so skinny!” I was seriously jealous of people who had fat on their body. So, to make no one comment on my body, I would wear hoodies. I would wear them anyways as having no fat, which according to my doctor I seriously have none, I would be severely cold. I wore a winters coat in 60 degree weather just in case there was a cold wind. 

On top of my eating disorder, I also have texture issues. If I order dumplings but the texture of those dumplings is different than from another store, I can’t eat it. I can try and push through it but it seriously sucks.

Now, my dad never cared to try and conform to my eating habits. Stating that since I am so difficult that I should make my own food, which I will say is the WORST THING to do when your child thinks that food is a chore. 

I also hate it so much when people say I am being difficult. I can’t change my eating habits. I want to throw up if I eat too much, I think that eating itself is tedious, and I just wish that I could teleport it into my body without chewing. That’s why I love drinks. There is barely any change in texture, they are usually the same, drinks for the win. 

Anyways rant over. Sorry yall. I just am having a bad episode where I’ve been weak as shit cause I don’t want to get out of bed to eat and when I do eat, its not enough to move around.

[chatange]

i haven’t introspected or really talked about myself on here so i answered this favorites questionnaire. read if you want

@ringtailes​ @virgeauxsun​ @weepingvines​

yall can do it if u want u dont gotta tag anybody idc fjeiofewjfo

1. Favorite candy? dark chocolate

2. Favorite song? ptolemaea by ethel cain

3. Favorite food? sushi or a decent caesar salad

4. Favorite drink? an iced caramel macchiato, or apple sparkling water

5. Favorite band? Artist? fleetwood mac or ethel cain

6. Favorite movie? scream

7. Favorite book?

the bell jar by sylvia plath

8. Favorite restaurant? chick fil a. love homophobic chicken

9. Favorite person? myself

10. Favorite hair color? Eye color? black hair and green eyes

11. Favorite website? bulbapedia

12. Favorite board game? Video game? clue and silent hill 2

13. Favorite sport to play? To watch? i don't. iceskating

14. Favorite school subject? literature 15. Favorite state? City? new orleans, louisiana

16. Favorite number? letter? 7, A

17. Favorite animal? bears

18. Favorite TV show? reba

19. Favorite quote? "who can face the sea and not inherit its loneliness?", olin ivory

20. Favorite nickname? honey

21. Favorite store? target

22. Favorite color? pink

23. Favorite article of clothing? i like a good turtleneck sweater

24. Favorite type of perfume or cologne? chanel no 5

25. Favorite memory from this year? all of the times my cat has curled up next to me to sleep.

26. Favorite age? these are ridiculous questions. 45.

27. Favorite trait? a homogenous one

28. Favorite music video? what???

29. Favorite time of day? midnight

30. Favorite Tumblr? my own, of course

31. Favorite phone brand? apple

32. Favorite shoe brand? louboutin

33. Favorite fashion style? i wonder what op would answer this question with. "goth"? the avant garde victorian style looks of dior fall/winter 2007 haute couture

34. Favorite pattern? the one i'm noticing in these questions.

35. Favorite gift? the gift of foresight

36. Favorite humor? blood

37. Favorite chip brand? Flavor? kettle brand salt and vinegar peak

38. Favorite band to see live? i'm poor

39. Favorite teacher im an adult

40. Favorite celebrity? im an adult

41. Favorite news station? WHAT

42. Favorite DIY? my mother birthing me

43. Favorite instrument? cello

44. Favorite genre of music? deathcore

45. Favorite season? autumn

46. Favorite experience? level 35 dark grass audino OHKO on lucky egg

47. Favorite shirt? a slightly unbuttoned men's button up, navy blue, sleeves folded at the elbow

48. Favorite bottoms?

myself

49. Favorite interpretation of love? a tongue on my clit and fingers buried in my cunt

50. Favorite existential thought? we create god through our praying to him and the moment we stop, he ceases to exist.

51. Favorite scent? gasoline

52. Favorite human interaction?

prayer.

53. Favorite music genre? didn't you ask me this already

54. Favorite compliment? "you are the most interesting person i've ever met"

55. Favorite insult? "if i were you i would have killed myself a long time ago"

56. Favorite phone app? NOT wordscapes thats for sure

57. Favorite type of phone? my own

58. Favorite reading position? doggy style

59. Favorite sex position? i made that joke too soon. also doggy style

60. Favorite pair of shoes? love thy neighbor

61. Favorite animal? i know for certain you asked me this already. i love my cat

62. Favorite body feature (on yourself)? YESSS a good question. my tits

63. Favorite body feature (on others)? that cock

64. Favorite YouTube video? lasagna cat

65. Favorite YouTuber? i bet you'd like it if i said jerma wouldn't you

66. Favorite meme? is anyone even reading this

67. Favorite Tumblr post? the one i'm making as we speak

68. Favorite typeface? monospaced

69. Favorite selfie? absolutely not

70. Favorite holiday? valentine's day

71. Favorite computer brand? hal

72. Favorite lyrics? "Playing in the swamp of alligator blood Behind our house in the marshy lawn He'd always hold my head Under the water a little too long 'Cause he wanted me to be all guts, no glory "All survivor, no guilt," he said But he calls me his crocodile tears While I'm chained up to the bed"

73. Favorite moment? this one.

74. Favorite advice? my mother once told me to never bluff with a gun.

75. Favorite message you’ve ever received? purity is what you make of it. god loves you all the same.

76. Favorite message you’ve ever sent? i love you more than anything.

77. Favorite outfit? nothing at all.

78. Favorite aesthetic? menhera

79. Favorite musical instrument? hmm

80. Favorite car brand? ha

81. Favorite fandom? ew

82. Favorite emoji? ✨

83. Favorite hobby? poetry

84. Favorite TV show character? jughead riverdaleF JFWEIOJFWEIOFJ

85. Favorite book character? jughead riverdale

86. Favorite movie that’s coming out? how do i know if i like it if it hasn't come out yet

87. Favorite designer brand? versace

88. Favorite dessert? tiramisu

89. Favorite kink? not on main

90. Favorite dance move? raise the dead

91. Favorite diet? cocaine addiction

92. Favorite rap verse? does anyone actually answer these

93. Favorite drug? see question 91

94. Favorite country? City? lebanon

95. Favorite feeling? being choked while i cum

96. Favorite picture on the Internet?

97. Favorite phone and/or computer background? i like a good calendar

98. Favorite weather? overcast snowy

99. Favorite mode of transportation? boat

100. Favorite console? wii was superior

[thisloveforyourmom]

review of acotar: solid 4/10, read it all and DNF'd the second book because i got off the plane and had better things to do LMAO. it's not very good but its also not so hilariously awful or off the wall that it becomes entertaining in its badness.

feyre as a main character is really not very inspired. everything before her going to fairy land is basically katniss everdeen with sisters who suck more - hunting in the woods, starving, one useless parent one dead parent, sibling who won't/can't help them survive, etc etc etc. and her name isn't pronounce 'fairy' but come on. she doesn't really shine until very late in the book, but she's a mildly interesting POV so whatever 5/10 for her.

tamlin is a complete nothing burger of a love interest. there's literally nothing about him and feyre's interactions that is at all compelling. at one point he goes feral and bites her and it's supposed to be all erotic and i don't know who that scene is for, considering if you want a dark romance this aint your book and tamlin never does anything like that again. all of feyre's attraction to him is explained by that bullshit romance authors sometimes do where it's like "and i didn't know why....but i wanted to see him again" girl i don't know why either

the entire setup for the curse is so. contrived. like wdym it's a lengthy and complicated curse but feyre JUST SO HAPPENS to have met every single weird requirement EXCEPT.....she doesn't do the last thing needed to break the curse! and even by her own admission she didn't know why!

the worldbuilding is...a Problem. the high fae aren't fairies they're elves. idgaf. they can lie no problem, they can touch iron, eating their food is totally safe, time passes the same way in the fairy land, etc etc etc. there are seven courts because SJM wanted to bring up the whole seven is a magic number, but she does that by making them autumn, winter, spring, summer, day, night, and...dawn? why not twilight? twilight applies to dawn and dusk, why have we just totally punted the dusk court into oblivion? the main villain does that whole "i said i'd free your love, but i didnt say WHEN!! i'll free him LATER!! he can be freed by DYING!! -evil laugh-" thing except we already established she CAN JUST LIE, so there's no reason to play word games

rhysand and lucien are by far the most compelling people feyre talks to. i think SJM is good at writing enemies-to-lovers because it forces her to actually give them scenes where they find common ground and have meaningful interactions to overcome their hatred.

i do appreciate how she takes the risk of actually getting into some dark stuff in the end of acotar and the beginning of the second book - i thought feyre wasn't going to go through with that, but then she did, and it actually eats her up from the inside out instead of just becoming a woe-is-me-pity-party situation, so props for that. i also don't think many authors would have been willing to toss out the whole LI of the first book, but she committed to that too, so good on u SJM taking risks.

THAT SAID she did him dirty. i would have liked it better if feyre and tamlin truly just became incompatible after their trauma and were forced to admit that loving each other wasn't enough, but it seems like they're full sending tamlin being some kind of villain, which i really hate. in general i think his and feyre's relationship should have been done better - i could absolutely see feyre not loving him, but feeling as though she SHOULD love him because of what he did for her, which solves the whole 'i didnt say i love you' thing AND gives her a reason to go save him and then break up with him as well. overall he is just. really a nothing character until the second book.

acotar as a whole feels like the drudgery SJM had to get through before she could write the second book. it really picks up there. but not enough for me to keep reading lmao see yall

[aubzikins]

Alaskan Darkness - Chapter 2 Writer's Collective Discord Shenanigans Pt1

We have many POVs for our lovely Rah's fic. I figured I would give yall an insight on the craziness of our little Collective. ENJOY! PSA... This is all fictional... mostly.. shenanigans

After talking to Rah about logistics of the KCONers getting up to Alaska, we got to work on prepping the houses in our neighborhood for incoming company. Nick and I were able to find some abandoned stores that had a ton of winter gear of all different sizes. We loaded up our two SUVs and determined to use the middle house of the neighborhood as a “processing” center. This allows everyone to come into the neighborhood, get a set of keys for a house, some food and pick up some winter gear.

Dealing with a zombie apocalypse where they seem to not like Alaska, is kind of boring. We are in a smaller town which means we don’t have to deal with a whole lot of people. This leaves me with some extra time on my hands. After getting everything prepped, we still had a couple days until the KCONers were due to arrive. I decided to get onto Discord and check in with everyone.

Writers Collective Discord – Chaotic-Main:

Aubz: Hey y’all!!!! God, the one good thing about being up here is that no one bothers me. Everyone doing okay down there?

Rah: Were good.

Rayne: Just hanging out…

Bella: All good here, getting to know everyone.

Aubz: Hey @Rayne, have you tried to “seduce the Jinnie” yet?

Rayne: I…

Rah: AUBZ!!!! WE INVITED THEM ALL TO THE SERVER!! THEY ARE IN HERE!!!

Aubz: Oh Shit!!!! *Deletes the previous message* SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aubz: Um… So, @Rah @Bella, I am making a new role and a private channel. Also, please next time WARN me before we invite a bunch of idols into the server. Everything has been muted since we were out and about collecting supplies…

CaptainsEyepatch: wtf? I thought Rayne was into Woo??????

Aubz: o.o Um… Whatcha talking about? I’m Aubz Snow… I know nothing.

**creates a private channel and the role of WC Ogs**

Aubz: Ok, so when the FUCK did they all join???

Bella: *hysterically laughing* The Kids joined as soon as we got internet back, the pirates joined after the military announcement.

Rah: Yeah, figured everyone should be in the server so we could communicate better.

Aubz: Oh okay… WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

Jennen: Theres the lightbulb…

Aubz: OOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG DOES THIS MEAN THEY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO READ EVERYTHING WE HAVE SENT????????????

Shai: Yeah… about that… I have already had to talk to Bin and Cap about it. That was a fun convo *rolls eyes*

Kel: They have seen all the pictures as well..

Aubz: *dies dramatically* oh fuck… All Channels?

Bella: Yeah

Aubz: and y’all have the pirates HEADING MY WAY?

Rah: *nods* Yes…

Aubz: omfg omfg omfg…. *finally meets Seongwha* “Hi im the middle aged married woman who has been thirsting and writing about yall for years… Welcome to my humble abode.”

Rah: *laughing* I love Aubz meltdowns!

Kel: me too

Aubz: Question…

Bella: possible answer?

Aubz: Do they by chance know about our personal servers?

Kel: I know they know about them but none of us have sent them any invites…

Aubz: Oh thank god…

Rayne: Also… no I have not seduced the Jinnie. Although he's trying to seduce me it seems... *winks*

Bella: I may or may not have told the demon Bunny about your server name.

Aubz: *Embarassed face* WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???

Bella: Because you have been paying a monthly fee to call him Meow Meows everyday. Also he admits that he saw those messages AND all the messages that you had sent about DnD, fics etc

Rah: Basically, if it was put into this server... they know about it...

Aubz: Ok… so I am gonna start heading for the arctic circle, its been nice knowing y'all.

Rah: it gets better…

Aubz: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RAH?

Bella: *sends laughing Ezma Kitty gif*

Aubz: oh fuck…

Jennen: Just take this as payback for your years of shenanigans…

Kel: Its okay Aubz… its good…

Rah: I will send you a DM

Aubz: *sends a Chan hiding gif*

Rah: Check your DMs

Aubz: I am so fucked… figuratively…

Aubz: o…m…g… I am um gonna go hide now. Also just remember, I am gonna be able to tell the pirates ALLLLLLLL ABOUT YOU GUYS! So no telling the Kids ANYTHING

Rayne: I will just message Seongwha on the side and give him a list of all your side comments in your server… Like tagging Peach trying to get her to stan Ateez… the tongue pics

Shai: Remember we have access to your server too.

Aubz: oh god…

Shai: If I have to suffer, everyone is suffering…

Bella: Might wanna check the main chat guys..

Writers Collective Discord – Chaotic-Main:

CaptainsEyepatch: wtf? I thought Rayne was into Woo??????

Aubz: o.o Um… Whatcha talking about? I am Aubz Snow… I know nothing.

Rah: Don’t mind the Aubz, she’s been isolated for a while

WoosFoxEars: Cheating on me already Rayne?

CaptainsEyepatch: Wow, I thought I told you guys that you can only stan us?

BinniesCake&Biddies: Its not our fault that they found better? *winks*

WoosFoxEars: Better? I’ll remember that Binnie

ChickieYongbok: I think it’s cute!

Ferret&Flames: *sends a drama gif*

Rah: …

Bella: Now Now Guys…

ChrisHasRizzButCannotFlirt: …

SURPRISE!_ImLINO: Let them fight it out Bella… I need some entertainment…

MamaHwasTongueTamer: Where did Aubz go?

Jennen: She is hiding, she is our chaos starter…

OGMaknaeOnTop: That is an understatement from what I have read..

DobermanInTheDiscord!: oh @Aubz where are you… it shows you online!

Aubz: … New Discord, who this?

Bella: *facepalms*

Rah: *laughing*

Jennen: Didn’t you rant about FicJinnie setting you on fire in the fic @Rayne???

Rayne: … I hate you…

Aubz: um… did yall seriously use the fic Discord usernames?

Bella: They did it so we knew who they were.

Aubz: I feel like I was set up… *nervous laugh* Don’t mind me as I go and delete ALL previous messages and start walking towards the arctic circle like ive been exiled.

MamaHwasTongueTamer: @Aubz don’t do that! I am on my way up to you, Tongue and all *winks*

Aubz: Rayne… Please see other chat…

Rayne: Nope say it here Aubz

Aubz: Rayne… Not in front of guests.

Bella: *insert popcorn gif*

SURPRISE!_ImLINO: Bella share the popcorn, this is getting good.

Rayne: Aubz… I DARE you to say it in here…

Aubz: FINE… IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU THE MOMENT I FUCKING SEE YOU RAYNE!!!!!!!

TheFaeKingsCrown: @Aubz No strangling the Rayne…

MamaHwasTongueTamer: @Aubz calm down…

Jennen: Bold of y’all to assume Rayne would not enjoy Aubz strangling them…

Aubz: *facepalms* and I just swore in front of them. *cries* I am gonna go die now.

Rah: Not allowed Aubz

Aubz: On that note… I am gonna go finish prepping for the KCONers arrivals. If y’all need me, tag me *kisses* *inserts Homer Simpson disappearing gif*

MamaHwasTongueTamer: See you soon Aubz *winks*

Writers Collective Discord – Chaotic-Main:

Aubz: btw I hate y’all and fuck my life…

Rah: Nope! You love us!!!

[remix-of-your-guts]

honestly i think an important part of unlearning the subtle aspects of white supremacy that are ingrained in us from a young age is learning to stop viewing the dominant culture as the default (and therefore not a culture). it's true that white usamericans often do not feel connected to our culture, because part of white supremacy is viewing it as the default (plus if you're a leftist its hardly something you're going to be proud of) but that doesn't mean we don't have one.

my peruvian friend often jokes that us white americans don't have much of a culture, because from her point of view as an immigrant, culture is something personal and unique- something to be cherished and protected and proud of. she has "cultural foods" and "cultural traditions" that she thinks of as different than the generic american ones she also takes part in that are pretty much all my family has. but that's because her culture is a minority, her culture arose from colonization and she practices it with pride knowing that our white supremacist society would rather she didn't.

even immigrants and minority groups like her tend to view white, hegemonic "american" culture (with additional specifics based on your particular location) as the default, and therefore not a culture, because that's how white supremacy is set up for you to view it.

but it's not the default, it's not the blank slate that all other cultures deviate from. when my friend's family brought us peruvian christmas cookies, we gave them a tray of the cinnamon rolls my sister and i always make from our great-grandmother's recipe. that's cultural exchange.

after living in england for three years, i found myself missing america and the american culture i grew up in. as silly (and depressing) as it is that these were the things i felt connected to, i found myself missing walmart and gas station slushies and food that's deep fried to hell and back.

and there's tons of local and regional cultures in america! new yorkers are proud to say they're new yorkers for a reason- it's their culture. rural america has a HUGE tradition of working class pride. i didn't have a great time living in florida, but ill always have a little bit of southerner in me (even just four years was enough to permanently cement "yall" in my vocabulary and make sure i always say "caramel" with a bit of a drawl). here in alaska, even the settlers from just the last century have developed a distinct culture. everyone has stickers of the alaskan flag on their cars or patches of it on their bags. salmon fishing and hunting and riding snow machines are things people do with pride. half the local businesses are named after the aurora in some way. people have huge bonfires in the winter and enjoy the mountains of snow.

a lot of the things that feel like quintessential aspects of my culture to me are not necessarily good things. but i've still somehow learned to view them with a kind of ironic fondness. endless cookie-cutter suburbia may be dystopian, but driving through it with my windows down blasting jesus of suburbia by green day is kind of beautiful. imma be honest i love to romanticize the hell out of getting gas station slushies and taco bell in the middle of the night. my friend who's from fairbanks mainly describes it as a complete shithole, but growing up there is an enormous part of his identity and he loves it dearly (and he is very connected to his family's slavic culture as well, russian was his first language, so it's not like he has "no other options" like a lot of us feel we do). originally, i'm from portland, oregon. i know it's kind of a shithole, but like my friend views fairbanks, it's my shithole- yknow? i drive through the trashy industrial district we lived in when i was little and the graffiti and abandoned lots make me feel at home.

anyways, i've found that learning to notice where i do have a culture and what aspects of it i like has made me feel less defensive and uncomfortable during conversations around racism, white supremacy, and colonialism.

'White Americans don't have any culture, they're just [normal/boring/generic/empty]. 'Culture' is when you're quaint and exotic and have interesting ethnic foods and holidays." is such a grating bit of nonsense to have somehow become progressive commonsense in a lot of places.

[verseziam]

.

[yujikitu]

More Vance headcannons because i can

Vance's mom gave him his choker and he practically worships the item, like he wont let anyone even touch it he will fight someone if they did, doesn't want someone's dirty grubby hands on it

His mom has a picture he drew back in elementary school on the fridge and he's so embarrassed by it but at the same time loves that his mom keeps it up

He loves bananas and watermelon, will absolutely tear them up if they are within his reach

He's a picky eater but it's because he's sensitive to certain foods, he won't eat dry ass chicken, he wont eat anything with a bone if he feels a bone he will spit his food back out and lose his appetite, he hates biscuits because they're dry, he doesn't like flaky foods, he hates marshmallows just all together they're too sweet and he hates the texture of them, he likes seedless fruits if he bites into a fruit and there's a seed in it he will get upset, he hates popsicles he only likes soft ice cream

He has adhd and is so hyperfixated on pinball, he genuinely enjoys it the game brings him so much happiness even if it doesn't look like it that's why he gets upset when someone messes up his game (plus how many of yall wanted to punch someone when they messed up your game or interrupted something you're hyperfixated on?)

He thinks rings are really cool but never wears them, he tried but it felt weird and restricting on his fingers so he never wore them again

Only neckwear he has is his choker because he hates necklaces, they always get stuck in his hair

He also doesn't like the idea of getting his ears pierced because he thinks his hair will get stuck on them

Hates winter, his mom always forces him to wear winter clothes because if she doesn't he will walk around in his sleevless jean jacket even if it's cold

He has a really sensitive nose he hates the smell of bleach and cleaners, heavy floral fragrances, old woman perfume, ect

He doesn't hate physical affection he just doesn't get it often because of his reputation of kicking people's asses, his mom is affectionate with him though and he loves his mom but he wishes someone else can be affectionate with him too

He hates his reputation because now people are scared of him which is fine it means no one will fuck with him but he doesn't really have any friends save for a few but he feels incredibly lonely (thats why i love the idea of finney and the ghost boys being friends with him)

Has really good skin, no one knows why or how and its unfair because it gives him that flawless look

Tried dating but he didn't like it much, it's not that he's opposed to dating he just doesn't care for it much but hey if the right person comes then it is what it is

He isn't homophobic or racist, he doesn't care much that stuff actually, what gender you like isn't his business nor does the color of your skin matter

He gets anxious at night, he doesn't like being alone in the dark and he usually goes to sleep late because of it

His eyes twitches sometimes because of stress and anxiety

(That's all i got for now)

[imaushi]

you fucked my assistant !?

⌗ model!hakkai shiba x fem!reader. reader is fashion designer!takashi mitsuya’s assistant. little twist at the end, i guess. hakkai is implied to have fucked takashi’s former assistants. lots of pet names (ie. good girl, sweetheart, love, etc.) 3.2k words.

⌗ nsfw. minors do not interact.

⌗ note from keith: yeah <3 would yall believe me if i said i thought about this while watching sisterakas :/ anyways i hope this was a good one for yall ): sorry it got too long i didnt think it would be this long-

⌗ taglist !: @dragondraken @blondbirb @scummy-simp

it has only been four months since you were hired by takashi mitsuya, a rising fashion designer in the industry. it meant a lot to you, of course, finally getting your foot in the fashion industry. it didn’t matter which position, you were just happy that you were finally getting yourself submerged into the world of fashion.

you were excited to learn so much from takashi, having been a fan of his since his small debut and after seeing him in a magazine page. one thing that baffled you was the amount of assistants he’s had. having heard that he was strict, that he watches like a hawk for food. that was unsettling for your nerves.

“taka-chan! oh, hello. new assistant?”

but there was also this tall, world class international model that barges into takashi’s studio — hakkai shiba.

seeing him was a reminder that you needed to measure him for takashi’s upcoming project, a clothing line for men. or women, they’d be unisex either way. you scratched your head upon seeing hakkai, and to your surprise, yuzuha wasn’t with him this time.

“um, yeah,” you said to him, quickly grabbing the worksheet that had blank spots meant for the measurements you were about to take. hakkai was intimidating — well, he looked like a puppy, but maybe it was the scar sitting horizontally on his lips and the blond buzzcut that had you shivering under his gaze. “taka- mitsuya asked me to take your measurements today.”

his mouth forms a little o, “right, yuzuha told me something like that today.” you blinked, he doesn’t know about the measurements today? “do you know where taka-chan went? i got something for him, i was droppin’ off some souvenirs from australia for the guys.”

“he just had an errand to do,” you told him. to be honest, you weren’t quite sure yourself. maybe you had forgotten or you just didn’t understand what he said when he told you. as you went to get everything ready, hakkai had sat himself down on the leather clad couch, partnered with faux zebra printed pillows and a throw blanket over the couch. his arm was resting on the tops of the couch, legs spread apart as he waited for you to finish getting ready. “are you re-”

“ready? yeah,” he finished your sentence for you, hopping up at the same time. hakkai wore a dark blazer over a bright blue hoodie, paired with a pair of black cargo pants and platformed dr. martens. he had chains bedazzling his figure, obnoxious round earrings decorating his ears. he was a good looking man.

for accurate measurements, hakkai proceeded to discard his outer layers, leaving him completely topless. “sorry, i don’t really like wearin’ shirts under hoodies.” he had scars ingrained in his skin, maybe from his former life as a delinquent in the past. his arms were kissed by the thinnest and lightest of scars. how many fights did he get himself into at some point? “i assume you like what you see?”

you hadn’t realized you were staring at him like a madman until he said something, which in turn made your cheeks heat up like a heater during winter. you turned away, the sound of his deep chuckles ringing in your ear. the rustling of his cargo pants made your skin crawl, and to be frank, your heart was beating really fast — too fast for its own good.

“c’mon, let’s get this over with, shall we?” hakkai said. you didn’t even hear him walk over you and here you were, pressed against the glass table with hakkai all over you. he knew exactly what he was doing, seeing your figure tremble at the sight of him so awfully close to you. hakkai grabbed your hand with a measuring tape in it, placing it on his toned chest, “start with my shoulders, yeah?”

you nodded, feeling hypnotized by his voice alone — you refused to look at him in his eyes. hakkai straightened out his shoulders to make sure your measurements were accurate and down to a t, smirking at your trembling hands cascading across his hot skin. you pulled off to write the numbers on the sheet you got from takashi’s desk, clearing your mind before writing as your hand was trembling.

hakkai stood a few feet before you, eyeing the way you were bent over the glass surface trying to write down his shoulders’ measurement. he resisted the urge to plop you on the table and pound the ever loving shit out of you — well, he wouldn’t for now. you’re takashi’s new assistant and he promised to stop dogging his assistants after the last one. and the last one. and the last one.

“ready for the next one, love?” hakkai spoke up, smirking at the way your shoulders tensed up. you were just so cute, too cute to be left alone of course. he digged the way your clothes hugged your body, the outline deliciously defining you. your curves and whatnot so beautiful in his eyes, it made his heart skip a few beats every time he thought about you naked and crying underneath him.

“waist… waist…” you muttered, holding out the measuring tape to wrap it around hakkai’s waist. hakkai wasn’t exactly slim, he had mass on his body, particularly around his arms. his abs, however, resembled bread rolls on a pan. you quickly shook off your thoughts that hopefully took your mind off of things — news flash, it didn’t work.

he was looking at your nervous expression, before making you look into his eyes. there was something different about them, you couldn’t put a finger on it. his thumb swiped over your bottom lip, humming gently at the way you tensed up. he leaned closely, lips dangerously close to your own, hot breath fanning over your skin. “you don’t mind this, right?”

your head nodded on its own, so dumb hypnotized by hakkai only having met him a few hours ago. he was simply mesmerizing, and sexy and hot. did god smile upon you? what did you do to stand this close with international model, hakkai shiba? you swore you’ve only seen him walk the runway abroad. new york, you thought.

“oh, so you do mind it?” hakkai asked with a hint of chuckles behind his words. his question made you shake your head no, not wanting him to stop whatever he was doing to you. “good, that’s what i thought… i’m sure taka-chan wouldn’t mind me in here again..~”

“again?” you asked, tilting your head to the side. hakkai placed his index finger over his lips, smirking rather devilishly at your wide-eyed stare. you make it so goddamn hard for him to not eat you up right then and there. hakkai motioned for you to sit on the table, caging you between his toned arms with his hands right beside your thighs. “what if we get caught…?”

hakkai shrugged his shoulders, the smirk not leaving his pretty face. takashi knew this but hakkai was notorious for stuffing his assistants with his dick. he always ended up firing him as they’d start looking for hakkai instead of doing their job as his assistant, though to be fair, they don’t do a job well done when they worked for takashi. “don’t tell him, yeah~? it’ll be our fun little secret.”

that was what tipped you over the edge — hakkai asking you to keep a secret for the both of you. your body seemed to have moved in its own when he chuckled at the way you were beginning to chase his lips, the pair of lips you have never even kissed in your life. he sneered, “oh? you want a kiss? you want a kiss from me?”

you felt so small being condescended by hakkai, but it felt so good. you don’t know what’s happening to your body but perhaps it was time to let it take control over what was happening. you let out a soft whine, wanting no more of hakkai’s teasing.

hakkai placed his hand on your knee, his thumb rubbing over the skin sitting hotly under it. he looked at you, “tell me if it’s too much. don’t want ‘ya feeling uncomfortable the whole time and not telling me. yeah?”

all you could do was nod, maybe you were so damn dazed over what was happening you couldn’t form your own little sentences to say to hakkai. your head was practically spinning with how hakkai dragged his hand up your thigh, snaking under the skirt, his lower lip tugged between his incisors. “let’s see what kind of treasure you’re hidin’ under there.”

you wore something plain, but still somewhat sexy. it was the one underwear your hand grabbed while fiddling in the dark. the panties were white, red laces wrapped around the band with a small adorable bow smacked dab in the middle. there was a small transparent window, showing so much of your skin and just barely showing your pussy. hakkai looked at your dampening white panties, letting out a groan from his throat. “you’re tryin’ to kill me here, sweetheart.”

hakkai instinctively pressed his index and middle fingers right on the wet spot, which made you jolt from the sudden contact of his fingers and your sensitive bundle of nerves. he tapped on your legs, the look in his eyes simply commanded you to keep them open. “good girl. does this feel good for you?”

no shit, you thought, but the translation of your thought came out as soft moans and the lewd sounds coming from your mouth. he began moving his fingers in a slow circular motion, studying the way you reacted towards such move. he liked the way your lips parted slightly to gasp for air, before biting the lower lip and groaning and throwing your head back. it was frustrating, hakkai wasn’t moving any faster.

hakkai pushed your panties to the side, eyebrows twitching at your wetness that pooled inside of you. his jaw clenched, he wanted to get a taste of you. he wondered how delicious you probably taste, considering how addicting your scent is. he wanted so much of you. “have you done this before?”

you refused to look at him, not really wanting to delve into your sex life. who could he possibly tell? you thought. you nodded, “a few times… they just never felt good. i-i’ve only cummed when i touch myself in my room.”

“ah?” he said, his fingers dipped themselves onto your wetness, groaning at how wet and lewd the sound it made. your legs closed lightly as a reaction, but you kept it open for hakkai. his coated fingers rubbed over your clit, your heart was skipping beats and your noises didn’t miss a single sensation. it was becoming too much, even you have never touched yourself in such a way. slow and dripping of sex.

hakkai caught the way your hole clenched around nothing. he found it almost amusing that you were desperate for something to stuff you with. he thought maybe you’ve had enough of foreplay, moving his fingers down to your hole and rubbed over it. without saying anything, he pushed his middle finger in. hakkai had slender and calloused fingers, so when he slid his finger inside you, it had already touched spots you didn’t think you’d feel before. it felt too good too fast.

hakkai adored the way you constantly clenched around his finger, like you were begging him for more in a non-verbal way. your little pouts and occasional glance said a lot more than words, as well. “do you want more?” you nodded, at the same time, hakkai pushed his finger in further. “use your words. you’re a good girl after all, aren’t you?”

initially, it was kind of embarrassing to be doing this. even more so with a well-known public figure, in your case, it’s hakkai shiba. you thought, i must be dreaming. this is one hell of a dream, though. except you weren’t dreaming — everything is very real. “i want more… please.”

“ah?” he started pulling his finger out of you, which you whined rather loudly when you could feel him almost pulling it out, your hand instinctively wrapping around his wrist. “oh, good. you actually did want me.”

hakkai stood you up before walking on over to the couch, and you could so clearly tell how hard he was through those dark pants. he sat with his legs wide open, eyes like a tiger when he looked at you. he raised his hand up and curled his fingers towards him, you could’ve sworn you saw his fingers glisten from the light. “sit.”

you proceeded to sit on his lap, but he stopped you. “i want you to sit with your back against me.” he motioned you to turn around and proceeded to place his large hands on your waist to sit you down on him — he was painfully hard. just the bare friction almost drove him off the edge.

hakkai’s hand snaked around your hips and around your thighs, opening them up so he could have full access of your pussy. “beautiful,” he whispered hotly into your ear. he dragged his hand back down to your pussy, shame he couldn’t see how pretty it is. hakkai rubbed his calloused finger on your already sensitive clit, his fingers only trained on what he was doing, the other one groping at your tits.

you were practically writhing in pleasure in his arms, his fingers seemed to have gotten faster on your clit, and before you knew it, he was pulling away again. you whined loudly, “no! more, please..!”

hakkai didn’t say anything, simply shoving two of his fingers inside your desperate little hole. all you could do was let out a pathetic gasp, so breathless when hakkai didn’t even let you adjust on his fingers, already pumping them in and out of you. every once in a while, he’d curl his fingers, certainly hitting a spot he knew would drive you mad.

hakkai was focused on building up your orgasm, though he felt like building it up another way. he tapped your thighs, “stand up for a moment for me, baby.” still seated, hakkai dug for his phone and placing it on the side, proceeding to discard his dark pants and putting them somewhere near him. your eyes widened at how big he was — no, hung. you knew it was big, however, not like this.

he noticed the way you were eyeing his dick, and initially he felt a little shy. but why? of all times, he felt shy now? he flashed you a smile, fingers rubbing his precum all over the pink head, “likin’ what you see? if you’re worried, it’ll fit.”

you rolled your eyes at him, chuckling, “i was more worried at how you could fit that into your pants.” hakkai chuckled in return, leaning back against the couch and patting his lap, you assumed he wanted you the same way as before, so you did. back flush against his toned front, he felt warm.

“open your legs for me,” he said, voice dripping in dominance. you adjusted your position until you felt comfortable. hakkai pressed his cock against you, earning a whimper from your lips. his tongue dragged across his bottom lip and at once, he pushed himself inside of you. it was almost addicting to him at how your pussy practically clenched around his throbbing cock, like you didn’t want to let him go. “a-are you feelin’ okay?”

for the most part, you felt fine. it was just that you had never been stretched out like that before. stretched out so deliciously, you were certain you’d remember hakkai so well. you reached for his hand, holding it tightly as he inched himself more and more inside of you.

“tell me if it-”

“please move,” you told him, your body practically slumped against his torso, already so out of it with just being stuffed with his cock. hakkai adjusted himself under you, his hips now having free reign of moving underneath. he pulled his cock out and slowly pushed it back in, just to ease his pathway a little. he did everything in his might to not slam himself back inside.

his grip moved to the back of your thighs, holding you open to prevent your legs from closing. with the way you were positioned, it almost felt like someone was watching you. watching you get fucked by your boss’ close friend, watching your tongue loll out of your pretty mouth as hakkai abused your pretty pussy with his cock.

you couldn’t help but imagine takashi sitting in front of you, cock in his hand, watching you and hakkai fuck in front of him. the thought only made you clench tightly around hakkai’s cock, making him groan ever so loudly against your ear.

the tune to glass animals’ heat waves started playing, which distracted you from your delicious little thoughts. hakkai’s hips slowed down and one of his grips from your thighs released. you were entirely too dazed to truly focus on what was going on, until hakkai held up his brightly lit phone to show you what was up.

takashi was calling him.

“should i answer him?” hakkai asked as he pulled his phone towards him. though you couldn’t see his face, you heard the smile from his lips. the thought of hakkai picking up takashi’s call had you in shambles internally, but your pussy said otherwise. you were clenching around hakkai once more, and hakkai noticed it. “hey, taka-chan! what’s up?”

“did you make it to my studio?” takashi asked. there was a loud whirring in the background, which only suggested that takashi was driving in his car. but was he driving back to the studio? more errands to run? it drove you over the edge.

hakkai didn’t stop his ministrations, a phone call never stopped him. he adjusted you on his lap so that you were sitting on his cock, hands placed on his knees for more support. you looked at him, and he mouthed bounce as a response.

takashi wasn’t dumb, he could hear the squelches of your pussy through the phone. he was pissed, of course, not because hakkai has yet fucked another one of his assistants, but he got to stuff you with his dick before him. takashi rubbed his temple, letting out a deep and audible sigh. “are you seriously fucking my assistant right now?”

hakkai placed his hand on the small of your back, letting out a deep and husky chuckle as he guided you up and down on his cock. he moved his hand on your hips, gripping at the skin until he was sure his handprint would show up. “surprised, are we?”

it was quiet on takashi’s end for a second, having parked in his parking spot as he contemplated what to say. your quiet whines and moans making it into the call was not only so delicious to listen to, but so awfully distracting.

“stop whatever you’re doing and wait ‘till i get there. next time, maybe invite me to the fun, yeah?”

hakkai put the phone down, smiling rather devilishly as he stopped guiding you on his cock. you whined at him again for stopping, “hakkai.. i want more..!”

“taka-chan’s comin’. you’re a good girl, right? be patient, sweetheart.”

[cosmic-radio-station]

Age: dont have (minor)

Height: 5'1

Grade: I dont go to school /j (technically highschool where i live)

Sexuality: Asexual

Romantic: Aromantic

Favorite food: Ice cream, mango sorbet

Favorite Show: I dont watch tv a lot but ig Assassination Classroom

Favorite Movie: its a lego movie... COSMIC CLASH FOR LIFEEE (i also like big hero 6)

Favorite Song: atm its probably Wekiddy by So Far So Good/Incredible Polo

Favorite Artist: Incredible Polo, Daft Punk, longestsoloever, The Living Tombstone, GHOST and Friends, AXIE,

Relationship Status: uh none ●□●

Favorite Color: internet/wii blue, forest green

Favorite Season: i hate them all (winter is tolerable)

Followers: Last time i checked i think it was 151. a lot of yall are my good friends. i love you guys so much!! /p

End of year stats!

Age: won’t say but minor

Height: 5’5

Grade: won’t say

Confidence: 7/10

Happiness: 5/10

Gender: gender fluid

Sexuality: asexual

Romantic: aroflux

Fav food: probably ramen?

Fav show: b99

Fav movie: not any

Fav song: too many to pick!!!

Fav artist: wallows or dayglow

Relationship status: single

Fav colour: green

Fav season: winter

Followers: 358 (as of Dec 29 at 2 am)

[clonesupport]

Saudade's Affair

a josiah trelawny x f!reader series - chapter 1

Saudade : [of Portuguese origin] a feeling of profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and loves

Masterlist (x)

word count: +1.4k

chapter warnings: none that i can think of, just an intro chapter getting you into the story, reader is female and like around 20 ish years old something like that, or honestly whatever age works but there is an age gap between trelawny and reader.

a/n: my first ever series omg how fun, haven't quite finished the end yet but we'll see how it goes. this is the intro chapter so its kinda boring until near the end, kind of a quick little summary of chapter 1 going into chapter 2 to get things started.

this started as a self insert day dream and then kinda snowballed in a few days into a whole ass story so uhhh yeah lol this is very self indulgent. anyway i hope yall enjoy :)

It's mid winter, the snow is blowing hard into your face and the sky is pitch black. Riding through the Grizzlies in this weather is treacherous. You can barely see ahead of yourself as is without the sunlight and this snow storm is only making it harder than it needs to be.

You've just escaped blackwater, riding north into the mountains to get the Pinkertons off your tails, 'the ferry job went wrong' you'd heard. Everyone was scrambling to collect what they could, packing next to nothing and fleeing the camp near Blackwater. The gang had left too much back in that camp, in Blackwater, left some good money too. Hell you even left some people back there.

Some of you were wounded and too many of you were freezing your asses off. This snow storm was relentless and you all definitely did not come prepared for the Grizzlies on such short notice. 'Who the hell's idea was this?' you think to yourself.

You had stayed back for the ferry robbery, you were instructed to do so, too dangerous you suppose. You've only joined the gang for about a year now, guess you're not too experienced to do a job like that. Although it does make sense, you were never that great behind the gun in pressured situations come to think of it.

Usually you do simple pit-pockets or cons with Hosea and the other girls. Sometimes you'd help Charles or Arthur with hunting but usually end up not doing much besides foraging while they do all the work. But you've learned a few tricks, they've also taught you how to properly shoot and track during your hunts. You figured it was the easier and safer way to learn instead of getting stuck in a shoot out.

You helped take care of the camp while the others were away on that ferry. Everyone wonders what happened that night, no one's given a straight answer yet.

One second you was helping Pearson with the stew and the next the boys were galloping back to camp at full speed, telling the gang to pack only what you could carry. Before you knew it you were fleeing town in the dead of night, watching the life you had made for yourselves get left behind.

After a long ride in the freezing blizzard you arrive at this abandoned bundle of buildings named Colter. The gang stopped for the night, making camp in the rundown but still sturdy enough buildings. By morning the wagons were snowed in, feet of snow covered the ground and the equipment. 'Looks like we have no choice but to lie low here for a while and wait for the snow to melt.' you thought, investigating the wagons.

The next couple weeks were rough and cold. With nothing to do every day as you waited for the days to get warmer and spring to arrive, staying warm by a fire was all you could do to entertain yourselves. Food was scarce but when was it ever not? Only now you were living off a few cans of beans and two rabbits every few days.

By the time spring dawned upon you, the gang was heading out down east, back down the mountain and into the heartlands as Hosea said. He said he knew a place the gang could set up camp for a bit, hopefully get yourselves back on your feet.

Horseshoe Overlook it was called, and well Hosea definitely knew what he was talking about because it was the perfect spot for everyone. The overlook sure was beautiful, hidden by trees in this little clearing on a cliff. You'd have to admit, you really liked it here.

It took the gang a couple weeks to get settled but once everything was set up, the place started to look pretty cozy.

Dutch had told you and Arthur to meet up later with Javier and Charles in this little town nearby called Valentine. Javier and Charles said they were going to the saloon, Arthur had already left some time ago. You decided to make your way into the town after giving the boys some time, drinking at saloons was never really your style.

It was a peaceful ride into town, a quiet evening, though it did look like it would rain soon. It was nice to get away from camp once in a while and a ride with your horse into a new town was always a fun idea. You wonder what the others were currently doing in town.

You were right about the rain. Upon finally arriving, now beginning to feel the rain through your coat, the first thing you notice is the smell of sheep. 'Can't say it's the most appealing scent but the sheep are cute.' you thought. The town was cute too, pretty small, but just like camp it felt homey.

Riding into town you notice a crowd of people huddled outside around the saloon, 'something tells me that's the boys' doing.' You hitch your horse nearby and make your way over to the now slowly dispersing crowd. Spotting a very muddied Arthur past the crowd, you join him on the shop front of the general store.

"What the hell happened to you?" you asked giggling lightly seeing his muddy face look back at you like a wounded dog. You hand him your handkerchief to perhaps aid in cleaning himself up a bit, however there is quite a bit of him covered in muck.

"Fought some big feller at the bar." He half mumbled to himself, using the handkerchief to wipe at his eyes and mouth.

"You got bathed in mud by a bar fight?" you stated unconvinced, "Not a lot of mud inside of a building last time I checked." you chuckle again seeing Arthur returning your comment with an unimpressed expression.

"Very funny," He grumbles. "got thrown out a damn window and fought...well, there.." he motioned to the muddy road in front of the saloon that did in fact have a broken window.

Right as you were about to poke fun at him again, your ears perk up at the sound of someone's voice calling to Arthur.

"Making new friends again I see, Arthur!" you see Dutch before you followed by none other than Josiah Trelawny himself, no wonder you recognized that voice.

You've only met Trelawny a few times in the past year that you've been with the gang. He's known for hopping around often, he rarely spends too much time with the gang unless need be. However with Trelawny always coming and going so frequently, you've barely had many chances to really get to know each other.

You'd have to admit he was an intriguing character, 'and handsome' you thought as you watched him and Dutch walking towards where you sat with Arthur.

Little did you know Trelawny always found you rather interesting. Quite frankly he liked you, he's had his eye on you for some time even though the two of you never often got a chance to speak.

"Look who we found sniffing about." Dutch motioned to Trelawny behind him.

You watch as Trelawny's familiar figure waltzes up to where you and Arthur sat, top hat upon his head as always. You smile towards him in greeting.

"Josiah Trelawny." Arthur chimes and you watch Trelawny follow with a bow.

"The very same." Dutch replies.

"Well well, I thought you'd gone to New York." Arthur inquires, gesturing to Trelawny.

"And miss all this glamour? You must be joking." Trelawny teases back before turning to you taking a step foreward. "Ah! A pleasure as always my dear y/n! You look ever stunning my lady." He takes your hand in his gloved one, bringing it to his lips kissing your knuckles.

You blush in return, the gesture had caught you off guard as you spoke a quiet, "Why thank you Trelawny." feeling your ears begin to burn hot.

"How are you?" Arthur chips in.

"Well," Trelawny answers, "quite well indeed. I went back to Blackwater looking for you gentlemen. You're not very popular there it seems."

Javier and Charles now joined by Bill approach the four of you. Everyone does their little greetings, reacquainting with one another. Trelawny intervenes, giving you and the boys a tip on where he heard Sean was back in Blackwater. With that Dutch groups together a scheme separating each of you to a task.

Trelawny is sent off with Charles and Javier to Blackwater to watch out for Sean. Arthur is told to meet up with them when he's cleaned up and ready. You're told to ride with Trelawny and Javier to Blackwater first while Bill stays with Dutch.

You mount your horse and join the Trelawny and Javier, beginning your long ride back to the outskirts of Blackwater.

[spiked-tea-writing]

and they were roommates?!

SapnapxFem!Reader

Summary: Imagine being in love with your roommate, couldn't be you.

Pronouns: She/her

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 2.3k

A/n: I don’t watch or know anything, I just like these people and I had a concept. Also, he and Dream aren’t roommates in this for the sake of I can’t figure that out. Also also, my timeline is probably fucked but who cares

The dynamic in the apartment was...interesting to say the least

In the two years of living together, it had shifted a lot

In the beginning, you and Sapnap had been... less than cordial to each other

Both eighteen, fresh out of high school, off to college thinking that you knew everything.

There was lots of fighting, to say the least.

All of the “No it’s your turn to vacuum”, and “I swear to god Sapnap I will punt you halfway across the world if you eat my pineapple again”

The only reason you didn’t slit each other’s throats was that if the other person was dead, who would pay rent?

It was the summer before college started at the time, and you were working long hours minimum wage so coming]’/ home to an annoying prick caused a crap ton of conflict

After a few months of being little bitches to each other, y’all got piss drunk in the apartment and it all just sorta fell apart

Got that good drunk therapy, spilling your deepest secrets

(y’all were underage but shhh)

So by the time college started, the two of you had become actual friends and started enjoying each others company

A few months into the friendship, you encouraged him to post the video of “Minecraft, but it’s Raining Cats and Dogs” on a whim

Lmao little did you know what you had created (we’ll get to that later)

You mocked his train of thought constantly, laughing at the timing of it all.

“Ahhh yes, I am Sapnap, the genius who thought it’d be great to become a YouTuber while in my first year of college.”

He’d always just laugh and roll his eyes, playfully shoving you while stealing your chips.

The next few months were a haze of studying, work, and him.

It was truly a friendship of convenience since you guys were so busy, him starting his youtube career, and you working restaurants, then school on top of that, it was just easy to find friendship in your roommate.

Of course, he had his close friends which he spoke to over the internet, and you had your friends from back home, but as for college, it really was only him.

You guys had a fun time just hanging around the apartment, and it became so easy to be friends with him

And it WAS truly platonic (we’ll get back to that as well)

The best thing he brought to the friendship was his animals

You got on fabulously with Cash and the cats

They were all so cuddly and honestly loved you more than him lmao

You guys were just trying to get degrees and not be too stupid, was that too much to ask???

Well to a certain 2020, it was

The beginning of that year was great.

He was sorta realizing that he liked putting himself on social media, but on top of that, it seemed like a great start to a year.

February brought him to twitch, which you loved

You found it hilarious how he would just sorta play games and have people watch him live.

But you were incredibly supportive, as a friend, of course

He really liked it so, you tried to ignore the shouting at three am, and the loud anthems at night

Sure you’d give him hell in the morning, but why kill his fun?

March started great, as it was his birthday.

You got him a glittery lighter as a gag, but it was the perfect gift for a broke-ass college student

Then a certain pandemic came a-knockin’ on y’all’s door

It was a hard hit on both of you.

An executive decision was made that you two would stay put, but being away from your families was incredibly tough.

That spring was the birth of The SMP.

It brought him so much joy, which in turn made you happier.

The rest of the school year was a blur of zooms and test

Nick nearly killed you on multiple occasions when you made fun of the fact that he was learning computer science over the computer or made him help you figure out what the fuck zoom was since it was tangentially related to his major

“SAP HELP ME YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ITS YOUR FUCKING MAJOR!!!”

“NO, IT’S- AHHHHHHHHH”

Yall got more than a handful of noise complaints shhhh

That summer was fill was spent trying to fill the time in weird ways

Note to self, he can’t cook (which you learned the hard way)

Yall spent so much time trying to cook and bake, then sweating off the calories working out with The Fitness Marshall lmao

As sucky as the situation was, that summer was so incredibly fun for the both of you, and truthfully the only arguments were about what music to blast

“Y/n I swear if I listen to Cosmicandy one more time I will drown you.”

“Well if I hear American Idiot one more time someone’s knee caps are getting harvested.”

(that argument was settled with Elton John.)

When school started up again that fall, something shifted

After a year of actual friendship, you guys were no longer just friends, and the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife

You had watched every single one of his streams since day one, but within 2 seconds of his Love or Host, you felt the need to hurl for some peculiar reason

It was bizarre because there was no way you could ever like him, of course not.

Within the apartment, you guys suddenly got a lot more touchy, but only because it was getting cold with winter and all that jazz.

It wasn’t because yall were secretly in love, what is this, a romcom?

The number of times you guys woke up on the couch, definitely not cuddling was too many to count

You started sitting in his room while he streamed, definitely not watching him with heart eyes because of how excited he got

He always had a pot of coffee full and a 6-pack of monster in the fridge since he knew you ran on spite and caffeine, and definitely not so that he could spend more time with you in the early hours of the morning.

The laundry started getting all mixed around, resulting in just sharing any sweats, hoodies, or socks.

The same thing went for food.

No longer was anything labeled with a name, if it was in the fridge, it was fair game (unless there was a post-it because come on, yall weren’t monsters)

But no, y’all were just roommates, not dating, lets make that clear.

Feelings? We don’t know her.

This entire time, his friends have had to hear about you rip.

But they got front row seats to your relationship development

“OMG my roommate is the worst she ate all of the frozen strawberries”

“Y/n kidnapped Storm all day while she studied and I thought I lost the fucking cat asjvdk”

“I had to run down and talk to the landlord because we dropped a pot of pasta sauce all over the carpet and couldn’t get the damn stain out.”

“She is so nice in preparation for a family dinner zoom, she ran out to the local Filipino food place and pick stuff up.”

“Sorry I’m late I overslept and didn’t want to wake up Y/n.”

They weren’t stupid, and could clearly see how whipped he was.

Dream and Geroge teased him about it constantly.

“Woah, calm down Sap, you should probably tell her you love her before you propose.”

“Yeah Dream’s right, it’s kinda weird that you’re living together before ever dating.”

He always flushed and denied it with a shake of his head.

He wasn’t into you, are they crazy?

Quackity and Karl messed with him in more unorthodox ways

There are a solid number of clips where they are fake crying over how he’s cheating on them, and even more tweets to match

It only got worse when you met them accidentally.

He was chatting post-stream on a video channel with George, Dream, Karl, and Quackity, and just his luck, you came into his room.

Like of all the times you could walk in, it was the time he was with his five closest friends but I digress

“Yo I got some extra tips yesterday so I picked up some extra Red Bull if you want to do one of your weird all-nighter streams.”

“Y/n I’m on channel.”

“Oh shit sorry my b. Catch.”

All the guys heard was a thud and a groan from Sapnap as the six-pack hit him in the chest.

Dream was the one to recognize your name.

“WAIT IS THAT Y/N I WANT TO MEET THEM!”

You could hear Dream’s voice through his headphones

“Sap… who is that?”

“No one. I’ll be out in a sec to help with dinner.”

You could hear a British voice come through.

“Oh so we are no one now, huh.”

Another voice piped through.

“Common... ¿Qué intentas ocultar?”

You cut in.

“Your headset it shit my guy. I can hear everything. I’m down to talk to them.”

He let out a groan.

“Fine. But you’re gonna have to do the dishes tonight.”

“Deal. Now move.”

“What? No.”

“Fine bitch.”

You collapsed onto his lap, plucking the headphones off of him.

“Hello, Sapnap’s friends. I am Y/n. A pleasure to meet y’all. Can you hear me?”

You heard a series of laughs through the headset, and a voice came through.

“Yes, we can see you too. I’m Karl, it’s so nice to finally meet his girlfriend.”

A blush rose on both of your faces, and another voice came through.

“Yeah, we’ve heard lots about you. Plus we can’t see your face in that picture Sap sent us. I’m Quackity”

That remark stopped your embarrassment in its tracks.

“What the fuck? How do you guys know me? I’m not even his girlfriend? And what picture?”

Sapnap grabbed your arm to calm you down as another voice cut in, but his one you recognized as his friend Dream.

“Hey, it’s okay. He just talks about you a bit, and the picture I believe was of you holding like three cats with like a red bull can on your head.”

“Jesus fucking christ why do they have that photo??”

He looked guilty but chuckled.

“Because that photo is a damn masterpiece.”

Karl’s voice came back in with a giggled.

“Soooo, Y/n we’d love to hear about you. Specifically anything funny or embarrassing that you have learned by living with him.”

Sapnap let out a groan from behind you as you went off.

“WELL lemme tell y’all, he has no cooking knowledge, well I mean, now he does, but one time, about a year ago, I had I been keeping a pot of water boiling for about an hour, soft boiling eggs, cooing noodles, blanching bok choy, etc. but this fucking genius is like ‘oH tHe HaNdLe Is StIcKiNg OuT. LeMmE mOvE iT wItH mY bArE hAnD.’ Needless to say, he burnt the crap outta his hand and kept the bag of frozen blueberries on it for the entire night. It took me like a solid five seconds to actually help him because I was laughing.”

By the time you had finished that story, you had seen Nick roll his eyes like 5 five times while the rest of the guys were wheezing.

“Yeah, well remember the time you were trying to imitate Rapunzel after we had watched it over Zoom with my sister, and you swung the edge of the frying pan into our head and got a nasty bump on it? At least I moved quick enough to put some ice on it.”

“Ice? It was the damn leftover Slushy that I had been freezing.”

“True, but you got to drink it after, so it was a win-win situation.”

“Sap, I had a bump the size of a golfball coming off of my temple. There was no winning.”

“Fine, you’re just making me sound like such a shit roommate.”

“No that’s not true, you do all of the talking to the landlord, and you at least tried to muffle the noise when you stream.”

“I guess that’s true, but you do like 80% of the cleaning.”

“Yeah but only because you’re working. Plus in the past 6 months, you’ve made coffee every morning, AND made sure I was taking my meds.”

“Those things aren’t that hard and I do it to make sure you don’t die because I lo- care about you.”

“What?”

“What?”

You heard Dream’s wheeze laugh and remembered that you guys were still on call.

“Smooth.”

You both went red, and Sap moved his arm around you to leave the channel.

The next few moments were complete torture, the two of you just sitting in silence.

You were wondering if he meant what he was about to say and he was scared that you had heard it.

He was the one to break the silence. (mind you you’re still sitting on his lap lmao)

“I’m sorry about that.”

You weren’t sure how to respond. Should you ask him if he meant it? Because that wouldn’t be that bad. Or just pretend it never happened. Nah that’d be hella awkward. Or-

“I love you too.”

“You what?”

Wow, okay your brain is being a little bitch rn, but fuck it. Balls to the walls baby.

“I love you, and I have for a while now. I just want you to know.”

You finally looked him in the eye, and he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Thank god. I love you, and nearly fucking told you for the first time in front of my friends accidentally. Damn, I’m smooth.”

You laughed and he smiled wider.

“Can I kiss you?”

After a quick nod he swooped in and holy hell his lips felt great. His arm wound around your waist and your hands made their way to his jaw as he pulled you closer to him.

The only thing playing in your mind was “and they were roommates”

[gabzlovesu]

VALENTINE'S DAY STORYTIME:

here’s what happened...

we celebrated valentine's day on saturday because i wasn't sure what my schedule for monday was gonna look like — nursing school doesn't stop for nobody yall and i can't afford to get behind. i had to study for an exam on sunday and the restaurant wasn't gonna be open that day, so we settled for the latest reservation we could get at char on saturday, which was 12:00.

ok say boom, friday night i washed my hair and prepped it for my wig and stuff, but ya girl was in distress because i didn't finish until like 1 or 2 in the morning and my hair was still a little damp. so i'm like, i'll just get up in the morning to put it on.

saturday morning i get up at 8 and to lay my wig — almost burning myself in the process — and do my makeup. and look...i'm no pro but i did wtf i had to do! i was on crunch time with only 3 hours to get ready and i mf did that! i literally did not get dressed up until the last minute and i was scared that we weren't going to make our brunch reservation. here's my otufit ig, i literally don't know how to take pictures so don't say nothing:

i tell him to pull up to my dorm because i'm getting dressed and it will only take a few minutes to get myself together and the resturant was just down the street. AS SOON AS I GET DRESSED I REALIZE I DON'T HAVE MY WINTER COAT! but being the bad bitch that i am i was just gonna suck it up and go out in the 30 degree weather and just grab my coat from the car. that would be fine right? NOPE! i fucking forgot that my sister took the car to work that morning so i wouldn't be able to get my jacket. when my bf pulled up i literally sprinted to the car with his gift in my arms looking like a skank 😭 but yall would do it too for a check!

we made it in time, we get our table with no wait at all. cool. and i just know people are staring at me for being dressed like this when its freezing outside, idgaf tho and they need to worry about they food. we had the stupid chocolate milk debate at the table lmaooooo. anyways, i got the shrimp and grits and he got the chicken and biscuits (ya know some real southern shit purrr). now exaplain to me why my shit was expensive and i got like a cup of grits and 5 pieces of shrimp and this man had hella food for less. i was cheated yall, but he did share some of his food with me hehe 🥰 we got desert also, which was alright but the options were limited and i'm a picky eater lol. here's my food:

he takes me back to my place so i can change into some comfy clothes and clean up my room before i go to his apartment. and we made a quick stop by walgreens on the way to his place.... iykyk.

so we walk up the stairs and he like pauses before he opens the door, and i'm just like, you good bro?? BUT IT TURNS OUT HE HAD ROSE PETALS LEADING TO HIS ROOM WHERE THEY WERE ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND ON THE BED IN A HEART SHAPE WITH CHOCOLATES AND A BIG SQUISHMALLOW!!! he knows i loves squishmallows, they're so cutee aaghhhhh. he also said that he will take me to get a mani pedi wenever i want; he didn't want to make an appointment in advance because he knows nursing school has my schedule all fucked up. then he opened my gift which was a basket full of candy, a card, the new pokemon game that he wanted so bad, and a nike gift card.

and ummm this is the nsfw part so go away if your not 18+ or you don't want to read it. so we started making out and shit and my clothes just disappeared like idk what happened yall 🤷🏽‍♀️ he at my coochie, as he should, and then broke my back while folding me in half like a lawn chair. there were some slipups, like a rose petal got stuck in my butt crack and i didn't even know lmfao, and i said "you gonna fuck me like a slut?" and he didn't respond how i wanted him too and i was embarazzed (he's so vanilla yall, we're working on that tho). then this man said — and i quote— "squirt all over my dick" EXCUSE ME??!!! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT BECAUSE I AINT NEVER HEARD YOU SAY THAT BEFORE OMGGGGG...but i did it tho sskksks.

when we were finish we really just laid around and had a chill day after that, we don't have to be doing much to enjoy each other's company. i watched him play the pokemon game for a little bit before watching tiktoks on my phone. eventually he fell asleep (that coochie knocked him out 😮‍💨) i was fighting off sleep but i stayed up to study a little for my exam. we eventually went on a food run with his friends that night an then went to sleep. i did unfortunately loose my BRAND FREAKING NEW set of lashes that i had put on that day :(

BUT I LOVED OUR VALENTINE'S DAY AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY BYEEEE!

[writeblrfantasy]

excerpt from acogs: agathon

been a while since yall have seen acogs content, hm? this has to be one of my favorite pieces of it, certainly one of my favorite backstory pieces. i'm so endlessly proud of this part and i just. ahhhh. please enjoy nikolai's innocent childhood bisexual love <3

wc 2100

When Nikolai was ten, he met a boy.

He had brown skin and golden eyes, and the wonder in them could’ve only been matched by Nikolai’s own. His hair never seemed to lie smooth, no matter how much he pushed it down, contrary to Nikolai’s, which always stuck flat to his head and forced his tickly bangs into his eyes. It still does.

He carried the sun around with him, captured pieces of it in his eyes, infused its warmth into everything he touched. Nikolai heard the sun in his laugh, saw it reflected in his smile. In his confused, cagey, ten year old heart, he understood he was around something special.

Agathon, that was his name. Agathon. So smoothly it rolled off the tongue.

He and his family, all seven of them, arrived in Nikolai’s town with their canvas covered wagon, their camels—this was when Windcarpets were less trusted than they are now—and right into Nikolai’s heart. They came from a remote village on the Urkon-Cairic border, a family who made their living from weaving rugs and clothes.

Nikolai was interested in them the day he saw them, but he always thought they paled in comparison to Agathon. His parents were kind to Nikolai, always offered him honey cakes and tea when he visited, and Agathon’s siblings shared their toys. Agathon’s eldest sister taught him to play the lute.

But Agathon…oh, Agathon.

Agathon took to Nikolai immediately. His first words to him were, “You have spots on your face!” which Nikolai later understood to be the light smattering of freckles that appear across his nose in the summertime, put there by the sun.

He and Agathon spent their days talking about everything and nothing, as ten year olds did, racing each other through the long grass to the west of their desert town. Where the Pelia ended on the north side, at the edge of the village, they would drink and dip their feet and shriek when the water was too cold.

In the winter, on the rare days when the cold rains came and they all had to go inside, Nikolai would beg his mother to let him stay at Agathon’s house until she gave in. The two of them slept side by side under layers of fur that only got used once a year, for occasions like this.

Agathon’s father would read them stories by the fire. Nikolai’s house didn’t have a fireplace, and he was always fascinated by this one. Those were the soundest nights of sleep he ever had, his head nearly buried under fur with Agathon’s hair in his face, his father’s soft voice lulling him to sleep. Nikolai took to calling him Father for a while.

Nikolai rapidly felt himself falling into something he was too young to know. All he understood was that his chest seemed to be expanding every day, a little more, filled with a little more sunlight and warmth every time Agathon laughed at one of his jokes.

Nikolai didn’t ever want to say goodbye to him at the end of the day, he wanted to stay for dinner and stay in Agathon’s room, sleeping on the floor by the fireplace if it was too hot for the furs. They would stay up all night talking and waiting restlessly for morning to come, where they could wander farther than their parents knew and would’ve never let them go had they known.

His mother never invited Agathon to their house, but that was okay. Nikolai didn’t want her sourness, her constant scolding bringing darkness to the light in his chest. One touch of Agathon’s hand and he swore he could fly into the very sun that beat down on them every day.

Nikolai once pressed his lips to Agathon’s cheek on impulse, no self-restraint so young, and he remembers the swoop in his stomach before Agathon turned his head and smiled at him with all the warmth in the world. Nikolai didn’t know what it meant, but he knew enough to sigh in relief and accept it when Agathon grabbed his hand. They ran through the grass field together that day, instead of a race.

And then, like most things in his life, his mother ruined everything.

That’s not something he realized until he was much older and she was dead. Hell, even recently, thanks to Katya, he’s been examining her ghost differently. Agathon was the first in many, many incidents she stripped away his privacy, his privileges, down to the way he thought about himself and his desires. Everything became about pleasing her just enough to keep her off his back.

Nikolai had been working up the nerve to tell Agathon how he felt for a few months, because even then he knew that sort of thing wasn’t always met kindly, when his mother broke the news. They were moving, going north to the capital city Thiria, leaving the town he’d lived in his whole life. Agathon wasn’t coming with them.

It would take a year, his mother said, but she would establish herself and her ideas enough to get her son elected by the community as queen. Nikolai had never had a day of sword training in his life, he couldn’t be a king, a fighter, but he had a silver tongue. He would be a queen.

The clever system of choosing queens and kings in every Actium country puts a pressure on the person to be worthy of the throne. If they are both a good diplomat and a good fighter, they choose whichever label they like best. If they are neither, they should not be on the throne. How simple.

After he’d be elected, his mother would buy herself all the fine clothes and indulge in all the food and get all the attention she’d lacked in her lonely life. Nikolai was merely an instrument. Which is exactly what happened.

It’s an accident that as he grew up in the throne, he started to care about Urkon and the people who brought their problems to him every day. When he learned about the ticking time bomb in his front yard, the one that wouldn’t ever explode but always had a small chance, he breathed through it and went on.

He grinned and bore the knowledge, at eleven, twelve, thirteen, that Urkon was so much more than his little western village and Agathon’s old home. He dealt with farmers who needed a land dispute settled, ambassadors from the west and east and north, he had servants waiting on him, silk and velvet, stuffy city air.

He goggled at just how much his mother didn’t care, but how much effort she put into pretending.

He has risen from nothing, as they all do, to luxury and power, bringing with him an unconscious air of the inexplicable magic that stems from the Staarenclock. From the cerulean diadem that drips from his hair while he sprawls on his throne, to the shining black paint on his fingernails, to the jewelry that rests on his neck, he attracts, he seduces, disappoints.

He’s never tried, and until he was queen, he never noticed. When he did, it became a tool to sate his momentary desires, a temporary fix for his long term ache, a way of fooling people. No one believes a pretty queen is capable of anything.

Good.

Nikolai doesn’t remember much from after his mother’s bombshell announcement, which is partly good. It’s a lot of gaps in numbness and anger he can never get back, and she’s not around to fill in the details. He remembers holding back tears so many times with Agathon, not wanting to ruin their last precious weeks together.

Nikolai went kicking and screaming. He doesn’t want to know how he looked to the villagers, to Agathon’s family. He remembers the tears running down Agathon’s face, the gold fading at long last from his sunshine eyes. Nikolai’s mother was dragging him away, he was no longer close enough to touch him and shudder through the warmth seeping into his skin. Just the knowledge that he no longer could made him ache for it all the more.

Agathon was screaming for him, too. The pair of them must’ve been the most dramatic thing the townsfolk had ever seen, acting like they were dying. Nikolai remembers the agony on Agathon’s mother’s face, the effort it was taking her to hold her son back from running to Nikolai again. He broke free anyway, sprinting toward Nikolai and tripping over himself.

They were locked in each other’s arms for one last time, ugly crying into each other’s shoulders. “I love you,” Nikolai said, as he had seen Agathon’s parents tell each other while they cooked side by side, laughed, shoved each other playfully when bickering. He knew it meant something. He knew it meant everything.

His mother picked him up and carried him on her shoulder the rest of the way, but he watched Agathon mouth it back.

He only had a year with Agathon, but being ripped away from him was like reaching into his chest and pulling out an artery. He had never known pain like that. He told his mother over and over that first year when she was working her way up in Thiria that his heart wouldn’t stop hurting, he missed home, he wanted to go back.

Of course, he didn’t miss the town that much. Thiria was intimidating, but there was so much to do, always something to occupy him. The one thing he missed more than anything in the world was Agathon and his sunshine smile.

As a child, his feelings were so much rawer. He didn’t bother repressing them because he didn’t know how yet, and his mother wasn’t deep enough yet in her madness to teach him to.

Two years later, when he was queen with his mother the real queen behind him, while he tried and failed every day to buck off her hold, he met Saige.

He had forgotten and moved on from Agathon somewhat, of course. He learned from both his mother and practicality that he couldn’t spend all day crying in bed and begging to go back, threatening to steal a camel or a Windcarpet when he got truly desperate. Agathon wasn’t in his head every moment of every day, but he took one look at Saige and it all came back.

The day he met her, he had heard nothing about her but the king who had been put through hell and needed no one but her war of vengeance, and she heard nothing about him but the queen whose mother always seemed to be there.

The day he met Saige, he got his mother to leave them alone for a while. Looking into her brown eyes, her little smirk, her friendly smile, a little piece of his chest ached, but in a different way than it did for Agathon. Hers was the ache after a dislocated joint snapped back into place. Hers was the stretch in the morning, an ebbing headache, the ache of waiting for a healing wound to finally close over. Something that punched the breath out of you, but in a way that was right. Like it was supposed to happen.

The day he met her, he heard Agathon’s parents in her voice, bickering, shoving each other, watched her move and saw them bumping hips as they did the dishes together. He saw Agathon mouthing his final words to him when she spoke.

He’s never told her this, but Saige healed him. It only got better after that day. After stumbling, falling, she guided his feet and helped him find his footing. She did not replace Agathon, because that would be a disservice to both of them. Nikolai found space easily in his heart for her. It was as though she had just been waiting to move in to the space he had prepared for years.

He loves her. He would burn down the world for her, as he hopes she would do for him.

He doesn’t tell Kayani that, however. He skims over the depth of his feelings for Saige—he’s at peace with them, he has nothing to be ashamed of, and he’s pretty sure she knows, but it’s for them. Not Kayani, not anyone else. Not that.

When Nikolai’s done, Kayani is still watching with rapt attention, a bit of shock. He looks up at the moon and inhales. He didn’t realize he’d been rambling so long. Saige is still asleep, thankfully.

“Did you ever try to find him again?” Kayani asks.

“No. It was never the right time, even after her death.” He thinks of it, now. Trying. But the thought makes his chest ache, so he puts it away.

acogs taglist (lmk to be added/removed) @magic-is-something-we-create @inkflight @spencer-nyx @writing-is-a-martial-art @ashen-crest @wisteria-eventide @nikkywrites @denkis-phone-charger @myhusbandsasemni @lynolord @ettawritesnstudies @golden-apple-s-blog @chazzawrites @pen-of-roses @47crayons @wickerring @sleepy-night-child @florraisons @faithfire @croctears @inkovert @kait-writes