#its a beautiful day outside
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i just had a great(?) idea.
See how from volume 3 onwards the sparklecare artstyle doesnt have diversity anymore.? (vol 3 is almost exclusively done by kc according to the credits at the bottom of each page, and in vol 4 all the clowns have her exact artstyle) well. i thought about that and came to a conclusion;
why dont the fandom all redraw V3-V4 pages. dozens, hundreds of people. with all kinds of styles, and skill level. teaming up, redrawing each 1-5pages. then slowly redrawing the whole thing with our own hands, our own artstyles. We'd post our new, diverse-artstyle sparklecare with all pages in order on a blog or smth.
seeing the credits at the bottom of the vol2 pages was my favorite thing ever, after a while i even would start to recognize each team member's artstyle, and i found it very charming how each individual style conveyed different emotions throughout each character yet still fit'd the main style of the comic and they all went very well together. as much as i like the current artstyle of the comic (controversial opinion, i know.) it OBJECTIVELY is way less "alive" feeling and expressive than vol 1 or 2's for exemple, and the lack of diversity that seems to be allowed within the zcp doesnt help. if all of us, as many as we are, created and directed a massive re-draw collab of sparklecare hospital, we could have this alive sparklecare that we deserve once again.
#sparklecare hospital#not bec light#i mean id draw some panels with bec in them so i guess#indirect#bec posting#????#but yeah#if youre REALLY REALLY dying to see it made or already know which panel youd like to redraw feel free to dm me#ill make a dc server if the project actually happens!#collab#art collab#please share! id like to get as many votes as possible :3#also i might translate it to french if it gets actually finished :3#if it gets made and you join you're more than allowed to submit premade redraws.#like#if you've done page redraws in the past and you want to submit them for this project#you can!!#does anyone know a free font that ressemble's kneeby's..?#closest i got is comic sans ms#and i dont know bout yall bout i wouldnt read two whole sch volumes in comic sans ms#its a beautiful day outside
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today marks the 2 year anniversary of me being an digital artist. i have a tradition where i remake my first digital drawing. i was really into undertale at the time, so i made mettaton. and now i draw him every year.
the 2 older ones are also included.
the older ones:
#undertale#mettaton#calculator mettaton#undertale art#uhhh what to tag#its a beautiful day outside#i guess#even though it rained like crazy and my pants are still wet af#ok im getting sidetracked#send help
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I really love hope is a thing with feathers and I also really LOVE the hope as a sewer rat poem too but I wish it was not explicity written as "well actually" against Dickinson asgvsjnk. The imagery is SO GOOD but this whole vibe of "my metaphor is better than your metaphor" kinda sours it for me
#i dont like the patronizing usage of ''Emily'' like theyre explaining something to a child#admittedly dickinson has been dead for over a century so its probably huge deal to talk about her flippantly in terms of poetry#this is just me personally. how i feel about it#i dont like her being namedropped like that#it has this energy of ''haha lemme school this bitch''#when the poem itself was never supposed to see the light of day. she never consented to it being published. girl was 5 years in the grave#it feels like making fun of somebodys diary#i also dont like how it kinda makes fun of dickinson's imagery of hope as something ''beautiful delicate'' thing#i always interpreted as it is told. a little bird. i pictured a fat fluffy thing like the ones i see outside my window#ive known them to be stubborn and mischivious#when we leave out seeds on the lawn the little ones are always bullied away by the crows and magpies#but they keep trying. theyll attempt to sneak over and peck away before the crows notice them#they ARE optimistic and resilient little things. tougher than they look#so i always found the metaphor apt#sewer rat also fits just as well. but i think it depends on the angle from how youre looking at it#so i dont like this vibe of ''it should be more RAW it should be UGLIER'' cuz even tho i love that style of writing#it just feels like unnecessary one-upping here#especially considering dickinson was severely depressed and tons of her poems reflect it#god forbid she dabble around with the occasional light hearted poem about seeing hope as a silly little bird#asgsjsnk sorry im not trying to make a statement or anything. ill delete this later probably
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waah I found some old Cardboard Castles art....
#this was an early drawing to express davids confrssion scene. it took many shapes before i settled on outside the apartment#idk i just think the juxtaposition of it being a snowy night versus max and davids usual sunny summer day....... idk its beautiful#because even after all this time..... after 10 years.... the only contstant in their lives was each other#everythings changed. but in the end? its always max and david.#excuse the typos im on mobile#howdyitsmax#maxvid#maxvid fics
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having a job sucks and being in regular pain/tired all the time sucks but having a job and being in pain/tired sucks extra because I'm going to get at most 4-6 hours of any day where I feel genuinely okay and I can't even spend that limited amount of okay-ness on necessary tasks for my own human flourishing. it's all I got and it belongs to someone else
#my agonies have receded for the time being and its a beautiful day outside#and i need to do all the cleaning i couldn't do while experiencing the horrors#so why am i going to WORK
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me and what we want are going through a lovers spat rn because i desperately want to write more for it but i constantly feel like shit so its really getting in the way of our relationship. also if youve sent me any asks that i havent responded to i am geniunely so sorry about it i am in the trenches right now
#sophie speaks#the disability is disabling me and its PISSING ME OFF#just let me write bro its not that hard#aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#like im always thinking about it#drunk www!reader dancing to hot to go with the boys and every single one of them thinking about how bad they want to plow you as you-#jokingly flirt and wink and tease. and the entire time you have no idea theyre totally down 100% ready to go#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#if it gives fun dumb party vibes it is for www.#www is about the hot girl mascara running end of the night heels in hand look#hundredth thing i said www is about but like. something something the beauty of life and kindness and love and hope vs hate and loneliness#anything even close to that ballpark is what we want#gonna cry i geniunely want to write for it so bad i know im just complaining over and over but being chronically ill sucks so much#chronic pain sucks so much like whyyyyyyyyy cant i even go out to a cafe to buy takeaway in the car whyyyyyyyyy is the sun painful#its not supposed to be like that man :(#god i want another few months of my fibro going into remission pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee january february i loved you more than anything ever ahhh#nnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh#ill. ill get there one day#so says most people#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#maybe ill just put in like the next hundred words or something#chugging along#so fucking slowly but yknow. literally have to spend basically all of the day inside my room because it hurts too much to be outside it#so. maybe i can give myself just a little slack. the tinniest bit
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ok this is not exactly a rant but i've been thinking, as someone who writes, about the way that we female authors present our female characters because in the vast majority of the books I've read, they are mostly the means to an end and the end is a man.
like literally so many female characters have their own growth thrown to the wind and for what? to put a ring on it?
maybe is just not appealing to me as a reader but why can't growth and love coexist? why can't a power angry woman be loved when men are idolized through every shitty and downright abusive and toxic behavior known on god's green earth?
i want my cruel and vindictive and unhinged women to be loved like they hang the moon in the sky for the vile and cruel creatures that they are why do women need to be bite sized or worst need to be punished even if their cruelty is basically a survival instinct while the man can be everything they want regardless of why and how the math isn't mathing
#look this makes me angry#women in literature#we aren't talking the gone girl kinda evil we are talking of women's nature outside of mens shitty behaviors#books#jude duarte#yes it's kinda about her my baby could have been the most powerful being ever but nope look that part doesn't make an ounce of sense#nyx triskelion#cruel babe who doesn't have 1 problem in being cruel#torture him babe who cares#the cruel prince#cruel beauty#fantasy books#Katherine pierce#i will never watch tvd in its entirety bc of reasons but she is my babe#buffy summers#especially in the last that bunch of ungrateful fucks#look i want to talk about books bc words literally saved my ass since the down of day but i also want to be real about it
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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™
but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.
#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little#thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week#i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19#(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional#and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but#exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that#the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person#has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately#but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me#and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead#give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if#i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡ i am learning how to#draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively#writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა#learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of#other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა#that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time#i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price
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i think something moonage daydream was really good at doing was capturing a vibe
#sir.txt#the thing it was second best at was painting a picture... that movie is a watercolor rendition of a galaxy to me#i feel like the linear progression of bowie's life in the movie never being marked by any specific dates not even years... it gives it that#not cut and dry feeling. none of these events exist solely in one day of one year they are something that will span longer than ourselves#one day- a couple of hours- stretched into infinity simply by the fact that they were not confined within a date#i think that's something worthy of bowie. to be immortalized not through the medium itself but by how the medium refuses to cage him within#any set parameters that would be too extreme and unsatisfying for him would he be there to choose#instead letting him trespass all those barriers and just be and transcend#my boyfriend says the film is like bowies superstar cosmic journal well i say the film is like bowies watercolor rendition of a galaxy in#formation- and all the stars are still forming and the watercolor still hasn't dried as another layer is added so shades melt within-into-#each other#like how bowie refused to keep himself caged within one style one look one identity he surpassed all of those boundaries and transformed#into something else... it is only fair that the film capture it in a similar way... all of the flashy colors and editing is just a#projection of bowies spirit itself in all its vibrancy and extravagance without being supercilious#this movie was touching but also fun for the sake of fun and eccentric for the sake of eccentricity. it's a must watch for whoever loves#bowie at his most raw and unrestrained and undefined... i felt like falling through the screen to bw held by him at several moments#BECAUSE that's what the movie is it's the galaxy wrapping its arms around the unknowing astronaut#and welcoming them into itself because nobody in this reality is actually an outsider of life- nobody passively observes the universe-#that's something that i found very moving in the film was how bowie surpassed that feeling of all-encompassing loneliness that was#what propeled him to create art... and found acceptance and loving and understood he wasn't alien to all of it.#it's very moving again like i said. but specially movingfor someone like me who struggles so hard not to simply idly observe things and let#life reject me. I can't keep letting these things write themselves into existence over and over and maybe just maybe#that film helped me snap back into a higher sense of lucidity where i realise i have to take control of my life#but like. anyway.#bowies life is very mythologised but in part it is very much a self constructed myth which he himself took the time to skillfully architect#and its such that myth ceases to be only in suspension and untangible: bowie being extraterrestrial.#he.... he integrates so much into the planet he does become an energy traversing through earth. he becomes life itself but in the least self#important way this sentiment could be expressed.#there will never be another bowie- as there will never be another dylan or reed or lennon. there will never be circumstances which will come#but to quote the movie. his life hasnt ended. only changed. thats beautiful. anyways my tags are up
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nvm i like people again this is the sweetest person in the whole world
#tongue#also its so so beautiful out and i want nothing more than to go walk the dog :(#saddddd#i also promised to help rebuild the neighbors shed with them and then PROMPTLY got sick like 3 days later#i was so ready to get country time to make pink lemonade on friday and then couldnt go to work :(#if they werent working id hook the lead up so waffles can go play with his friends outside but hes so evil and he WILL try to eat nails#maybe even screws
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omg first anon hate 😊🫶
#not going to respond to anon btw#you can just go chill out and take a walk its a beautiful day outside#come back when you feel better#or just block me#anyway big milestone for me!!!#always wondered when it would happen#at least it wasnt a death threat 😉🫰
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ok my annoyances aside: its the time of year my city changes out all the potted plants for mini trees with decorations and string lights and (hopefully soon) wreaths with pretty big bows and lights on the light poles and the sun is setting so early so everyday i go home i see the pretty pretty lights and i just. (:
#i dont care about christmas but i do enjoy the twinkly lights everywhere#wish they were a year round feature 🥺#at least they always will be in my home c:#theres this outdoor bar omw home and every year they get like 5-7 pine trees and put them up outside the front gate and hang lights inside#ive only been there once in the summer bc its not my thing really but i do like looking at it#i cant wait for the [park] tree to go up that ones always beautiful#also theres a christmas market downtown that should be starting up soon.. i wish it wasnt so crowded w tourists bc i do love the decoration#theres something so calming about the darkness of the city this early in the day
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escapism can be both a respite and a prison. btw
#every day i go outside to look at the beauty of nature but any joy that grows in my chest turns into grief so heavy its hard to carry#so i think abt like . fictional characters that live in my head rent free instead. and the distraction works but it works a bit too well#so i end up not seeing anything around me n then at some point im like oh fuck im not living in the moment.. what am i doing i went on this#walk to look at the trees & listen to the rustle of leaves & touch grass etc etc#so then i try to exist in the moment & its nice but its also miserable & painful again so back to escapism i go and so on and so forth#cycle that makes me feel like im skipping a good chunk of my life#but its really hard not to do it when its just how my brain works ykwim. a default setting And a go-to coping mechanism And#a go-to serotonin production method.#i tgink i need medication
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what can i say after 26 years on this earth.... sometimes it doesn't get better but it can always get worse 🙂👍
#s.txt#if you dont eat you will feel like killing everyone then yourself and other life lessons from quinn the demon daggerons 🙂👍#i joke and jest.... sometimes its impossible to imagine how good something can feel and thats worth it i guess#but also get bitches and fuck nasty. amen#never apologize to a man. use your fucking turn signal. driving is a sin of which god himself cannot forgive you#that retail employee makes minimum wage and they absolutely will not hesitate to kill you. people are always mean in the same ways but also#in fun new ways you can never imagine#always look at cows if you are in the vicinity of them. you can listen to the birds outside your window its free#one day you will die but between then and now there will be beautiful sunsets#aaaand yeah thats about it.
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